Joe Rogan Experience #2089 - Joey Diaz

Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe. Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan. podcast by night all. day I didn't bring no [ __ ]. glasses though oh do you need some yeah. I have some just in case if you're going. to show me something interesting yeah. thank you. sir thank you sir so I started doing. this uh red light bed I started doing. two things to help my eyes one I started.

taking pure encapsulations they have. this um what is it called macro. support what is it. called anyway it's a bunch of. supplements that they put together um to. stop your eyesight from going bad and. it's legit macular support macular. support that's it you like legit oh. legit it stopped whatever the. deterioration that I was experiencing. where my eyesight was was starting to go.

it stopped just stopped it and it made. it a little bit better and then I. started doing this red light bed so I. had this guy Gary bre on the podcast. who's explained to me how red light um. revitalizes your capillaries and helps. your vision come back and so I've been. doing that now for about 6 weeks and. I've noticed an improvement like I don't. need reading glasses as much if I'm. reading things on my phone I can read. some things that I just was not going to. be able to read and more importantly. it's not not getting worse cuz like it.

was like kind of every 6 Months 8 months. or so I'd noticed my God my eyes are. worse like this is terrible like after. like 46 it seemed like somewhere around. 46 it was like it dropped off a cliff. and you did the right thing because you. didn't submit to these my mistake was to. submit to these when I was like 43 44 by. 44 I could see I was having problems. already and I submitted to these and. this is worse for you that's why I used. to tell you don't put the glasses on.

hold on make your eyes muscle that thing. it's like when you wear [ __ ] hearing. aids mhm like your hearing gets lost. well they say with with vision like the. problem is we're looking at things that. are real close up all the time and your. your eyes are supposed to do a bunch of. different things they're supposed to. look at stuff in the distance supposed. to look at things up close and if you. don't look at things in the distance all. the time you lose that ability well I'm. going to be as honest as I can with you. I'm not trying to be cute here okay I. lost my eyesight when I St doing coke.

cuz when I was doing coke my eyesight. was on point CH I could see a light from. [ __ ] 2 miles away that light's green. we got to make it once I stopped doing. coke my eyesight went right into the. [ __ ] [ __ ] so when I was snorting I. had 2020 Vision I could see Coke rocks. in the carpet and [ __ ] now I can't see. [ __ ] if there's a Coke Rock on the. [ __ ]. floor I guess it's blood flow if you. think about a blood flow to the brain I. mean doesn't Coke give you like a crazy. amount of blood flow to your brain I. mean it must it's a stimul idea I have.

no idea where the blood goes thank God I. never got into that no thank God I never. got into and especially now like now I. see these people that are snorting. anything yeah to snort anything today. you got to be [ __ ] crazy yeah you can. die heroin these people who put the. [ __ ] test like if you go to a bar in. New York they have test yeah you go in. the bathroom and are you [ __ ] kidding. me they have to you don't want die once. you test cocaine it's time to do. something different you got to test your. Coke it's time to do something different. you got to [ __ ] you know what going.

out here ketamine everybody's doing. ketamine they do nasal sprays we had. some lady going into a khole in the. middle of our comedy. show she's [ __ ] falling down like. this and they they brought in the Naran. and [ __ ] they were worried that she had. overdosed and her wife's like no no no. she's just been doing camine she just. did too much I did a couple lines of. that one time at the podcast Studio yeah. and it was okay I did the podcast but. whoever get me to camine left like a.

pile of it on the desk you know after we. did a couple lines so he left and me and. Lee were talking and I go Lee what we. going to do with this [ __ ] thing he I. don't know throw it away I go [ __ ] that. it was about 8:30 9:00 at night I had. done three lines maybe and I was buzzed. but it didn't take me over the top I did. those now I. lived six minutes from the podcast. studio and. out when I got to the first light to. make the left I knew it was not going to. be a good drive home it was not going to.

be a good drive home okay I had done too. much and then I got home and when I put. my foot out of the car that was it it. was lights out after that and I'm like I. am [ __ ] up I'm what do you mean like. lights out like way like I was [ __ ] up. I don't know what was going on it's a. different kind of [ __ ] up it's a. different type of [ __ ] up and then I. went in the house and godamn it my wife. is awake oh no now I got to talk to her. this.

so I ran in my office and I'm in there. 15 minutes getting higher and higher oh. no and [ __ ] my body's feeling weird and. I go I better go out there before she. comes in here. right and she was watching True True. Crimes detective whatever that on HBO oh. okay and it was the dude from the green. book and the other guy the green B the. brother the the guy who won the he was. the book The Green book with the guy who. drove him in the South he played the.

piano play anyway it doesn't matter so. you never saw the green book I don't. think I saw GRE a good [ __ ] movie we. were talking about him yesterday Marshal. Al Ali yeah yeah that guy's awesome man. he's awesome he was great in that. Netflix documentary or the Netflix show. we were just talking about about the end. of the world with Julia Roberts and. Ethan Hawk oh I didn't see that it was. good good [ __ ] Giannis hated it. though huh yeah he's trying to get me to. hate it I kind of went with him a little. bit right he influenced me I was like. yeah there was some part I didn't like.

yeah you didn't like the animals the CG. animals get picky yeah bunch of CGI. animals staring at people I'm like come. on no you don't need to do this to me no. no but I looked at him and while I was. watching TV his head kept getting bigger. and I'm like I couldn't take it I'm. sitting there I got no t-shirt on I'm. sweating confuscious she's kind of. looking at me I'm kind of looking at her. your wife is a [ __ ] angel and finally. she really is I couldn't take it no more. I couldn't take it no more I go what the. hell's going on here.

and she's like what what I'll change it. she didn't know I told her the next. morning I said let me tell you something. when I came last night I was not doing. too good you know people think that you. you [ __ ] around like when I was living. in La people think like you [ __ ] around. and you don't have no everybody always. thinks like I just got high and had no. [ __ ] consequences I just never told. you about what I dealt with you know one. night I ate mushrooms and I went home. and the [ __ ] mushrooms hit I didn't. know I ate like three little [ __ ]. things at the office the mushrooms hit. and that's a The Exorcist came on and I.

had to watch it and I'm like what the. and I finally ran into the room and put. the blankets over my head it was too. [ __ ] real like I have horrible High. stories I just don't repeat them cuz you. know people won't believe them I. remember when we were on a plane once. and you were eating stars of death and. uh we were like almost at New York and. it was like an hour before the plane. landing Joe Rogan I almost [ __ ] lost. it I almost [ __ ] lost it I was having. a pan attack I was it was getting bad it. was getting bad then you go but I'm back.

and then you pop two. more like how did you just [ __ ] do. that you just had a panic attack almost. you know for three years I cried about. this anxiety anxiety I can't take it. yeah [ __ ] I don't do Edibles now is. that what it is Monday nights so was it. Edibles that was giving you the anxiety. you said it yourself you can't live on a. 2,000 milligrams a goddamn day. something's got to fall apart eventually. yeah you know that was kicking it up and. then I would get anytime I would get.

above 200 milligrams the whole world was. just like very slippery very slippery I. like this is like I could see how. Edibles can get someone to legitimately. lose their mind that's why when I was. talking to Alex Baron he wrote that book. tell your children it's all about. schizophrenia and about how uh there are. people that get introduced to high doses. of marijuana and induces schizophrenia. we know people we both know a couple of. people that have had that happened to.

I'm like this is real I think marijuana. is very beneficial in low to moderate. doses well you get above certain doses. with certain psychologies certain people. certain times of their life you know. certain things they're going through you. never know you could [ __ ] crack you. never know you could and I can tell you. that that's the truth yeah that's the. truth cuz at times you know it gets the. marijuana at the high doses is not what. people think it is it it gets to that.

very psychedelic place where it's like. this might as well be acid like the real. high doses there was sometime where uh. Eddie Bravo had these uh THC pills one. of his students had made his own pills. had like Turned Keef into pills I forget. how many we took but I was talking to. this one dude and like I might as well. have been in another dimension like my. relationship to reality was very. slippery I was like if I was losing my. mind right now if I wasn't in a good.

place in my life my you know life is. falling apart maybe you're you know. getting fired your house is repossessed. going through a divorce maybe have. cancer who knows whatever it is and then. you get that dose they could send you. over the top bro I had a guy come over. from Jiu-Jitsu one day we're just. hanging out and he goes I want to do a. bong hit with you I gave him two bong. hits what I smoked he puked in my yard. he was like I don't know how you do this. every day to [ __ ] B let me get a. light up yeah well it's also like when.

someone uh runs marathons you try to run. a marathon with them I don't know how. you run a marathon well you [ __ ] you. got to build up to it you're building up. to that too it's all building up you. know this new weed that's coming out now. these people aren't ready for them it's. too strong and more people are smoking. pot now than ever before whether it's. vapor. pens everybody's doing something is that. like because it's legal right I wonder. what the number are because because it's.

legal in what is it now Jamie 19 States. I feel like we're close to 20 20s 23 May. sh States it's decriminalized in the. city of Austin but it's legal in a lot. of States like New Jersey New York. California recreational use Nevada. Colorado. Oregon there's I would imagine there's. more people smoking it now just because. of that because it's legal right dog you. got to come home from work instead of. getting beer or whatever the [ __ ] you.

get you go in you get one of these. joints for 25 bucks and it'll this will. last the regular person the whole. weekend and it doesn't kill your body it. doesn't kill you doesn't kill your body. that's the big one for me like when I. was doing Jiu-Jitsu every day if I was. uh getting high into doing Jiu-Jitsu it. it actually made my Jiu-Jitsu better. like I felt like my Jiu-Jitsu was more. smooth I was more focused but I never. felt wrecked the next day but if I drank. the night before and then tried to to. class the next day I always felt like.

30% less I was like this is terrible. like I got to stop drinking cuz every. time I would go out drinking and then I. go into class I I just get manhandled I. just get wrecked just couldn't couldn't. keep up when you're hung over it's the. worst feeling what have I done to myself. for just a few hours of fun you know. it's really crazy that we don't really. know what alcohol does to our bodies but. it's not good you know but it's you you. find out get one of those aura rings get.

a AA ring or a whoop strap one of those. whoop straps yeah okay check your whoop. strap have a couple of cocktails and. then check your whoop strap it's crazy. like I only had two drinks two glasses. of wine your recovery will be way down. the whoop strap is very beneficial for. that because it it tracks your heart. rate variability and it gives you like a. real accurate assessment of what happens. when you [ __ ] around with things because. if you just do something different like. I just cut out sugar oh whoa look at how. much better my recovery is you know oh I. stopped drinking alcohol whoa recovery.

through the roof I committed to drinking. x amount of liters of water every day. whoa look at all this recovery look my. body's functioning better you know it's. like it gives you real feedback I was. telling your buddy that when I got the. whoop it was for Recovery purposes I. don't like being that [ __ ] sore you. know what I'm saying so I want to know. where I am throughout the day right I. got the whoop and I got to be honest. with you you know what improved the best. what my sleep cuz when I got the whoop. we all think we sleep 8 hours right.

everybody thinks they sleep [ __ ] 8. hours get the [ __ ] whoop and get back. to me yeah you'll see that you sleeping. 5:45 610 and you're like this ain't. working so I started doing things to. help my sleep Joe do you know I sleep 8. now and at 4:00 5 o' I got to go down. for an. hour every day take a nap you know when. I took I never took a [ __ ] nap since. you know me take a nap one hour get up I.

feel Tip Top myou and that's when I. start smoking weed and having a good. time yeah I'm uh I can function on five. I do well on six when I'm doing eight. plus I'm at my best I know the. difference like there's days that I come. in here where maybe I had a late show. got out of the club late and then maybe. I had to take the kids at school in the. morning or maybe I had an appointment or. maybe I had something I had to do so I. had to get up early so I only got like. five or six I can find function but I'm.

in my mind I'm like that's a check I. have to pay that's a bill I have to pay. so I have to make sure tonight I get. like 10 or 11 tonight I really want to. get get some serious sleep no booze hit. the sauna hit the cold get get my body. prepped sauna and a cold plunge before. you go to bed oh my God you sleep like a. baby you sleep like a baby you sleep so. good yeah I haven't worked myself up to. the cold plunge yet but I do the red. light twice a week you do it right now. [ __ ] that sa is great I think any sa is.

great even a hot bath is great the whole. idea is just warming your body up just. getting your body so it's. uncomfortable but uh the real studies. are on the regular sauna uh we got a a. Salo sauna I have that for here and that. for my house they the [ __ ] man that's. it's it's the one we have here is so. nice it's set up it's all Bluetooth you. set it up off your phone like so you're. on their way to the gym if we're on the. way to gym set the song A 190 get here. come on in yeah it's ready W takes a. while to cook but then you know you're.

sitting in that thing and if you do that. on a regular basis it gets you get used. to it you get used to be uncomfortable. but God damn you feel good like your. joints feel good all the stiffness kind. of feels like it goes away your mood. feels better you sleep better sauna is. the [ __ ] if I had to pick one. over the two I don't know which one I'd. pick but I love the fact that I could do. both of them I think sauna I would pick. because there's more data there's. there's a 20 years study out of Finland.

with sauna patients where they um they. use the sauna four times a week for 20. years and depending about how many times. a week they used it they saw more. Improvement but the people that use it. four times a week saw I think it was a. 40% decrease in all cause mortality it's. 40% decrease stroke heart attack cancer. for the people that did that as opposed. to the people that didn't do it well. your girl told me that if you do Rhonda. yeah I love her she's the best do you. know I love her I love her too like I. watch shout out to Ronda p I watch every.

video I take what she tells me to heart. and I think she's so [ __ ] sexy cuz. she's so [ __ ] smart when she when she. just goes on the tail like she's so. [ __ ] sexy but she was saying that. 51 61 minutes a week in the sauna Cuts. your uh Cardiac Arrest rate by like. [ __ ] 60% or some [ __ ] well tell you. what else it does Joey it makes your. cardio better like your cardio for. working out just sitting there your. heart rate gets jacked so it's like a.

static form of cardio when before I go. to Tuesday and Thursday Jiu-Jitsu I go. to the red lights on that's my cheat. because that's a heavier class and you. got to [ __ ] be a little so I always. go in there in the morning 34 minutes. come out go right to Jiu-Jitsu from. there I it's a good way to warm up. before working out too get in there for. 10 minutes just sort of like get in. there and stretch a little bit for 10. minutes I do yoga in there I do a bunch. ofas whatever the [ __ ] they yeah there's. a company that makes a a yoga room like.

they make a sauna that's just for. working out in it's a bigger sauna it's. I think it's what is that company but. they they have like chin up bars in. there and [ __ ] and exercise bike and. people work out while they're in the in. the infrared I breathe for five just. work on my breathing MH just you know. quick breathing in deep and then I get. up and I stretch a little bit and then. about the 10-minute Mark is where I. start doing chaturangas M and uh. which one's a chaturang chaturanga is.

when you go up down drop you could drop. into a [ __ ] uh whatever crooked dog. whatever the [ __ ] it is but it's not big. enough for Uncle Joey and I [ __ ] my. ankle up so I wasn't doing those but. I'll do a bunch of warrior poses Warrior. One Warrior 2 in the sauna in the sauna. yeah and then I wait to the halfway mark. I go out I take 30 seconds I drink a. little liquid IV and I shoot right the. back the [ __ ] there and I got to tell. you something else before I go on that. song I I do it in the morning I get as.

[ __ ] jizzled as I can be yeah I don't. smoke if I know I'm going to the sa at. 10: I won't do that 8:00 bong hit in. morning I'll hold off on that. [ __ ] till 10: and then I'll do. like 18 bong hits when I walk in there. they even know it whoa they're the. nicest people in the world they just. wave I go on the red light. SAA I am [ __ ] stoned in there when I. walk out of there I dry off I put my. socks I drink my water after about 7.

minutes I go back in and smell in there. you could grow [ __ ] weed in that. [ __ ] after I the odors you smell. in there [ __ ] fungi toenail sweat. [ __ ] reefer sweat it's it's amazing. is this the place that the gym you go to. no no there's a place called chill oh so. it's a place set up just with saunas and. Co plun red light sauna uh no co- plunge. but they have the cryo cry you can go. right from the sa into the cryo they got. so many things now they got medy bed. that you sit in it controls like.

whatever they have so many things the. place is clean 6 minutes from my house I. could just call them and go I'm on my. way we don't have a bed we have a bed. it's tremendous I love all that [ __ ]. yeah I wonder what's better for you cryo. or the coold. plunge I think I tell you what's harder. to do cold plunge is harder to do Co. plunge is hard it's harder to do and it. feel you feel different when you get out. of there like you feel [ __ ] chilled. down to the bones where whereas there's. something about the the cryochamber I.

think they're both super beneficial. though I don't know if there's been. studies done on what's better for you. but the I get the same feeling after. both of them like woo I recover a lot. quicker after the cryotherapy than I. would the coold plune though CCH I'm. cold for a long [ __ ] time I only got. one regret about cryotherapy that I. didn't discover that when I was doing. drugs cuz that let me tell you something. when you go into the cow therapy the. first time you do the three minutes when. you walk out of there you either have an. idea what this is for you like for me.

when I walked out I go where was this. [ __ ] when I was drinking because. you could snor Coke till 9:00 in the. morning go to that red light S A quar to. 10 come out of that 10 and you're brand. new I've never done it but I know from. the feeling of walking out of there that. you're brand new so you mean the. cryotherapy or you mean the the sauna. the cryotherapy I'm sorry Japanese. people invented crry therapy correct. they did can we find out can fact check. me you know. I think i' would like to know I mean I.

think the Vikings did. it it was the thing they did like to. just boost their manliness just get in. the [ __ ] cold water technically. Joey's right oh okay developed in 1970s. by a Japanese rumatologist toshima. Yamaguchi but that' be like the actual. cryotherapy that we did like in LA like. the okay like liquid nitrogen yeah okay. but the Vikings were doing cold therapy. right right right thousand of years ago. I don't think they hadn't looked with.

but the guy that invented this to people. it was Japanese people and again these. [ __ ] like the party yeah so as. soon as I walked out of there that's. what I said to myself absolutely a. Japanese guy invented this look at this. goes back to the ancient civilizations. ancient Egyptians Romans and early. Greeks were using cold temperatur as a. form of therapy as early as. 2500 BC whoa when I used to see Fedor do. it Fedor a million anchor. one of the alltime greats he used to do.

the B so they would all get in the sauna. together and they would like beat them. with leaves they would use leaves and. beat them and then they would jump in. this frozen lake and I like these guys. are just insane there's no I'm like what. the what's the benefit of that I would. think it was nonsense but they knew they. knew you know this early 2000s people. had weren't doing cold plunges and. saunas if they were it wasn't like. openly discussed like it is now you know. Dan Dan Gable found out about he was. telling me on the podcast he found out. about it when he's Rush wrestling the.

Russians and the Eastern Europeans he's. like they all use sauna and he he. realized like there's something to the. the actual uh the benefits for your. Cardio Recovery blood cells he said it's. almost like a mild version of epo when. you take when you're in the sauna on a. regular basis just really boosts up your. endurance here's. Fedor damn when he was young he was the. [ __ ] dude and what a dad bod. that guy had. there's not a single photo of him out.

there with a six-pack and he's widely. regarded as the greatest heavyweight of. all. time I mean he might be the greatest. martial artist of all time he's. certainly in the argument the arguments. for the greatest martial arts of all. time if they're they're in their. Prime I always say this guy because. people leave him out of the conversation. you never should BJ Penn BJ Penn in his. prime was one of the greatest I've ever. seen and then there's Anderson Anderson. in his prime I was just watching the.

Anderson documentary the UFC just put. together holy [ __ ] man you forget you. forget you forget those Rich Franklin. fights I never forgot you forget but you. forget the level of expertise and. precision and just Mastery he had when. he was in his prime I am telling you I'm. guilty even though I'm a giant Anderson. fan I had to see it again I had to see. it again I'm like oh yeah people forgot. well we had a conversation after Aliso. fight you're like Aliso is the best and.

I go remember I said to you bro relax. yeah no you're right it's Anderson and I. I love the Rich Franklin fight I mean. the first time I ever saw this. [ __ ] I'm about I'm getting. dressed I'm getting dressed ready to go. do comedy with you or anybody else and. it was a UFC fight night with him. against Chris leban I never saw this. [ __ ] guy I heard you guys talking. about him yeah and when he came out it. was [ __ ] Mastery I was like blowing. then he played the ukulele I'll never. forget that well I I was a giant fan of.

Anderson's already cuz I became a fan of. Anderson's in Pride and then Anderson. went over to cage Warriors and when he. went over to was it cage. rage what was the organization that he. fought for that Anderson fought for in. England but in England he came he became. Anderson Silva you know there's there's. there's like Charles Olivera Charles. Olivera was a really good fighter and. then his daughter was born and then he. became Charles Ola the Assassin that.

everybody knows but he lost a bunch of. times in thef he just he would fall. apart Anderson when he went to England. there's something about leaving Japan. and going to England then he became. Anderson so what was the cage rage right. cage Warriors is the the the that's like. the top organization that exists now in. um in the UK so he fights uh lee Murray. in cage rage and Lee Murray was a f. [ __ ] killer Lee Murray was the guy.

who was involved in the biggest armed. robbery in the history of the UK he's in. jail now like forever a real gangster. crazy dude so he [ __ ] Lee Murray up in. cage rage and then he comes back and. [ __ ] Jorge Rivera up in cage rage and. when he [ __ ] Jorge Rivera up he's. standing in front of Jorge who was a. murderous puncher and letting Jorge. punch him in the face he was just. letting him punch him in the face just. like [ __ ] you ain't got. [ __ ] and then then beat his ass then he. goes over and fights Tony freckin in.

cage rage and hits him with that crazy. upward elbow did you ever see that yeah. yeah yeah yeah so he [ __ ] Curtis Stout. [ __ ] him up [ __ ] Tony freckin up and. then by the time he was coming to the. UFC I was like dude get ready for this. guy and I was looking at the line like. the betting line the betting lines back. then were stealing nobody. knew nobody knew nothing you a guy would. sneak over a guy like Glover toer or.

someone would come over from Brazil. you'd be like you don't no one even. knows yet you don't even know how good. this guy is like in the the you know the. line would be like in favor of the other. guy like oh my God this is hilarious I. think Chris Leen might have been a. slight favorite over Anderson I don't. even know what the betting line was I. don't think he was a favorite I think. Anderson was a favorite but either way I. was like dude he's gonna light him up. like a Christmas tree because Chris. leben was just such a murderous. marauding attacking style that's perfect. for Anderson because Anderson's the.

technician so he's just GNA Slide Away. po that's what he did he basically just. stepped away punched it's a master class. put that fight on put Anderson Silva. versus the [ __ ] fight you took me to. with Rich Franklin and Columbus oh yeah. when the the Arnold thing was going on. we were in. Columbus that last array when he boom. boom then he hits him low with a leg. kick and then he punches him again. another leg kick it's [ __ ] be I was. like what the [ __ ] that's how you mix it. the [ __ ] up and he did it like he was.

just playing he did it like he was. hitting a heavy bag just [ __ ] around. what about the night we H to hit acid. and that's the night he decides to kick. that dude in the face yeah this is the. one so this is Anderson's debut and by. the way Chris lein one of the most. murderous punchers knocked out vanderlay. Silva knocked out a [ __ ] ton of dudes. when Chris lein went connect on guys. they would go night night and he fought. like a [ __ ] Wolverine man Chris leben. would just charge at you so like that.

style with that kind of confidence is. per look how Anderson's moving baby look. at that look at that jab look at that. jab Shucks him off to the side I mean. the footwork bro look how. elegant just no wasted. movement and leave just moving in for. the kill [ __ ]. uhoh give me that volume sound better.

oh there it is it's already beginning. bing bing bing yep I mean leing can't. even land a shot on. [Music]. him and lean got back up so tough dude. tough as nails and there's the knee and. that's a wrap. [Music]. son Anders still. man that was impressive that was the big.

debut that was like 2004 six I was. [ __ ] hypnotized by that hypnotized he. was a man hypnotized I was like what the. [ __ ] he was a man he CU I watch listen. bro I watched the UFC with you there was. a bunch of chubby guys that look like me. I don't want no part of that stuff he. took me to Florida one time to see uh. Miami when there was like maybe 15. people in the audience Shaq was there do. you remember that it was a long time ago. yeah that was the early days that was 24.

that was 2004 MH because that was around. the time of the man show mhm and it was. Butterbean was one of the fighters on. that card no Butterbean never fought in. the UFC who was the chubby guy that. fought on that card that was somebody. who was on that card that was like Trey. telman no Trey no Scott feroza was. really big Trey telman was a guy who was. missing was the two guys that vtor. fought in his debut but that was earlier. than that that was 97 that was sha was. there remember he was already in Miami.

and I was like I'm like man I don't know. about the UFC down here yeah Shaq. trained martial arts a long time ago he. started training a long time ago bro I. didn't know he was from Newark and I. didn't know all the good things he did. from Newark that's a bad [ __ ]. he's a good man I've gotten a whole new. level of respect for what I heard he's. done in Newark oh yeah one of my friends. in newk cop couple of them and they were. telling me bro it never ends oh that's. great yeah he's uh he gave a lot back to. his [ __ ] Community he's very smart I.

mean he's got a [ __ ] ton of businesses. he owns a bunch of businesses he's. always got something going on you know. he stays active you know guy there's. there's a bunch of guys that do a real. good job of like using whatever Fame. they got from Athletics and then just. like do everything after Shaq does. everything he's always doing commercial. he's always doing something you. know that's a that's a big human being. dude you put your hands like you shake. his hands it's like that's a big dude.

he's so big his hands are like it's like. a [ __ ] breakfast tray I never said. nothing to him I never spoke to him I. saw him at the store a couple nights he. would come to the store after the games. for a Fat. Tuesday but I never really spoke to him. or anything I just I did Fear Factor. with him oh that's right yeah me and him. uh was hilarious I was was like my it. was like a a six-year-old and his dad. that was like me standing next to him. he's so big. he's so.

gigantic so what else is happening my. brother everything's good man you know. they have those Bas by me right do they. the Russian ones Ari goes those in the. city they have a beautiful one in. Freehold yeah and the [ __ ] place has. a restaurant to die for really yeah like. Russian yeah you could stay there all. [ __ ] day a Russian restaurant I think. it's everything oh okay it's everything. you get beat up with the leaves the. steam the [ __ ] Cal plunge they got a. pool they massage you they have lunch.

you could just go there and write you. just want to write jokes you go up there. have a cafe in there it's really [ __ ]. sharp that's smart I just not in the. mood to get beat up with [ __ ] leaves. at this point in my life yeah when I. used to go to the YMCA in Hollywood the. good one there were Russians in there in. the mornings with the with the hoods on. uh they wear the hoods to keep the. healing and they'd have the Vodka there. I did this cuz I used I was so heavy I. was embarrassed to go any other time of. the day so I would go at 5.

4:45 and I would sit in the [ __ ] B. with them whatever the steam bath and. then I would go on the other one the. sauna the steam bat and then I would. swim and I just swam more and more every. day this went on for about six months. one day I get there about 5:00 a.m. I. open up the [ __ ] door and there's a. dude completely balls ass naked laying. where the Russian sit okay balls ass. naked just on a [ __ ] towel out didn't. give a Frenchman's [ __ ] I sat there for.

about 5 minutes and all I kept thinking. was these Russians ain't going to like. it when they come in here sure enough. the [ __ ] three Russians came in they. asked the guy to move the dude didn't. [ __ ] move and it was not good after. that right in the YMCA they be his ass. they [ __ ] choked him and threw him. out naked they picked him up by his. [ __ ] neck right in front of me I just. kept walking I don't want no dog I I. can't be around that [ __ ] I I'll go to. jail for 20 years Joe they grabbed him. by the [ __ ] throat they asked him one.

time can we sit here then he let him sit. but he wouldn't put a towel on that's. what it was yeah the guy had probably. come from some [ __ ] freaky spot was. trying to get his dicks up in there and. I walked out and to all I heard was a. couple thrums and then I saw the sauna. door open and homie went flying out like. one of those [ __ ]. crackheads Eddie Bravo and I used to. work out at uh 24-hour fitness and one. of the managers they just brought him. over from the West Hollywood place and.

uh he was giving me the war report from. working in West Hollywood he's like it's. basically a gay pickup spot that's all. it is the 24-hour Fitness on Santa. Monica next to the uh I don't even know. if it's there anymore oh that'll be. there forever but is it there yeah back. in the day back in the day in when Eddie. and I were working out together this. like 2001 2002 this manager was like. dude it's crazy he goes there's just. jizz all over the sauna you going the S. you got to hose it down there's just. loads everywhere these guys are just.

[ __ ] each other everywhere they find. places to [ __ ] and they would go there. to look for other buff guys to [ __ ] I. mean and you imagine the problem with. guys is there's no women there's no one. to go hey this is ridiculous I don't. want to get pregnant what have you been. up to you know are we going to use. protection there's no voice of reason. it's just two guys you want to [ __ ] I. want to [ __ ] let's [ __ ] and they're. they're all jacked up right so they're. they're probably doing testosterone and. they're lifting a lot of weights and.

they've got high testosterone they're. horny all the time they're taking drugs. and they're just [ __ ] each other at. the gym he said the gym was barely a gym. he goes it's so weird to come here and. it's a gym he goes that gym was just a. front for a gay pickup spot these guys. were just I'm sure they were working out. too but they were just banging they were. doing a lot of banging listen bro when. you go through boy town oh yeah I think. you had a bit about before we left La. people have to understand say that when. you go through boy town you have one at.

the end by the time you hit Dan Tannis. and you're about to hit you you have two. things on your mind either I love gay. people or I can't stand these. [ __ ] they're out of control and. with my world I love these [ __ ]. the best being this just happened like. six seven years ago 65 before the. pandemic we're driving on Santa Monica. me and my wife we're going to eat at. [ __ ] danis we got an early. reservation right. [ __ ] by a light there's a bar on the.

right hand side UFC is on two guys are. fighting but meanwhile there's a hundred. guys with leather dancing to the UFC and. me and my wife just look at each other. and go God bless them yeah God bless. that's what it is about boys down they. got the Run of it well they also don't. have to pretend no right like they don't. have to pretend they want something. other than what they want whereas like. there's a lot of men that they feel like. to pick up women in a bar they have to.

pretend to be something different they. have to act a little different they they. have to play to what the lady likes well. these guys are just [ __ ] they just. [ __ ] they just [ __ ] listen Christy. Miller remember Christy Miller from New. York he's in New York she in New York. now yeah she's been in New York and uh. before christe Miller moved to New York. she was working at. Golds on Ivar maybe that okay you. remember that it's over there but. there's another gay spot tremendous gay.

spot so she but here's the [ __ ] deal. I was 426 lb right and Christy out of. the love of her heart goes take this. membership for free don't go at night. you know don't go at night like this. werewolves and they'll [ __ ] take care. of you in there and I'm like really I. tell you I went in there maybe for three. or four months before I signed up at the. Y cuz the Y told me you're too fat we. can't have you here really. the first time I went to the why told. you you're too fat to work out dog when.

I went to the Y the first time I signed. up for a consultant thing like somebody. for free to help with you I didn't want. to come to you guys I was too. embarrassed I thought I was going to die. I got on a [ __ ]. treadmill I didn't even make 30 seconds. on level. two he goes listen this you got to go. out and walk he goes come back here when. you lose 50 pounds he go right now you. got to walk do you have a walk. right and I'm was like yeah you know to.

the store to the drug dealers to The. Comedy Store you know yeah you know but. no and he goes just walk he goes I want. you to do what Dolce does with to tap. the mailboxes go for a walk and tap two. mailboxes one day and then three the. next whatever as far as you go yeah so. Christy gave me that thing and I would. go over there at night I knew little. things you know from lifting as a kid. but every time I was struggling over. there some [ __ ] hot guy came over Dy. and he would always go excuse me can I. help you out and he would talk to me and.

yeah maybe they wanted to [ __ ] me but I. doubt it I was 418 lbs yeah you had to. [ __ ] get a [ __ ] crowbar to get to. my [ __ ] at that point so I mean these. guys were [ __ ] dying in my Jo I would. love to see the and tell you that they. hit on me not one time in fact they were. very helpful would they hit on me they. were setting me up you know they're. wolves don't ever think and that's what. shocked us like my friend told me about. that website he used to go on boys a Hoy.

that was just gay men right yeah see. it's still around boys aoy Bo AO what a. great name for a website okay now he had. belonged to other ones grinder you know. he's a gay dude he tell me all this [ __ ]. he said when he signed up for boy AO it. was a complete different situation they. just want to [ __ ] yeah they just want to. [ __ ] there's no female equivalent no. there's no way they met at the he would. meet them at the hot dog place up block. from the store mhm the Carney pinks oh.

car car oh car and he would take them to. the standard [ __ ] them and then he' come. to The Comedy Store at 9:00 and they go. that way and you go your. way boys aoy gay chat and friend apps on. Google. Play good for them yeah good for them. and you got to [ __ ] go wow bro when. when those guys get old it gets rough it. gets rough I don't know yeah a lot of. them guys when they get old it gets. rough dog I just went to Jingle Bell to. see my man jelly okay Jingle Bells.

Jingle Ball is a big thing they do the. Z100 they do a thing in New York and. mass Square Garden I never went to it. but I got a daughter now and you get. talked into those stupid [ __ ] and I. don't want my kid going into the City by. myself with my wife okay right she don't. know the me mechanisms of it so I went. with like you know nine kids from the. neighborhood jelly hooked us up me three. moms and like the rest were just kids. girl girls and one boy and I took him to. go see [ __ ] jelly Olivia.

Rodrigo but sh was. there okay Sher was doing an appearance. I get there everybody's cool but there's. two old school gay. dudes they're probably in their 60s and. they're those old school New York Gees. gay guys they were gay when it was tough. to be gay you know what I'm saying like. they've been in New York all their lives. they s that CBGB sort yeah the meat. market or whatever [ __ ] gay hunt and.

now they're mature they they were. married before the law yeah dog these. [ __ ] were miserable they just. sat there and every once in a while they. would look at each other and look at the. kids and. Go the whole [ __ ] night I'm like why. are these [ __ ] guys here meanwhile I. got a girl and a little boy a Jewish kid. jumping up and down singing into the. phone the whole [ __ ] thing I'm like. look at this [ __ ] Jewish kid his. brother's fighting over there in Israel. he's over here watching this [ __ ]. thing jumping up and down like a half a.

[ __ ] [ __ ] now the two gay guys haven't. said a word they just keep looking. around hating hating everybody dog when. they said share coming out to the stage. these [ __ ] busted out of their. capes and they got up and they were. dancing like the kids you should have. seen them they had to be in their 67 68. they both had the the hair they were. [ __ ] D they were hugging each other. take me home whatever that song she. [ __ ] sings When Shar walked out these. [ __ ] you see like 10,000 people.

just left really because there was a lot. of gay people hidden it's Christmas time. they want just to see share huh just to. see share. 82 years old she's. 82 what is it 77 close. enough. 7782 yeah it's old that's Biden's age. how the [ __ ] did Jimmy how the [ __ ] did. our. girl how the [ __ ] is Jimmy pige 80 years. old that [ __ ] turned 80 she.

looks good she looks [ __ ] Dynamite. look at. her how's she. sound It's s. to yeah that's fine let me see let me. see if it's recorded hear it. [Music].

it's not recorded it's loaded and. processing yeah that's the show I was. at it. might it might be record it's hard to. say often too they do they'll she might. be singing live but you're not it's so. buried in the mix that you're hearing. you would never really be able to tell. she looks like she was singing that it. looks like she's singing that like she's. singing that sounds pretty [ __ ]. good they could just be mixing they.

might mix in good for her maybe she can. hit some of the all of them or something. DG I saw when I was a young man I saw. when I was a [ __ ] kid yeah in Union. City walking into Pastor music with. [ __ ] the king Greg Alman wow that. nasty [ __ ] and I didn't know who. he was I'd love to tell you I knew Greg. GRE was an animal I just knew something. wasn't right but I saw her and I was. like what the [ __ ] is sunny you know I. was like a little I grew up on that. stupid [ __ ] show you know what song I.

love is I'm No Angel oh bro he's what a. song give me that Jamie that dude what. that dude lived you hear his voice like. that you only. get your I baby. I.

I'm come on me. baby. me. EAS. jingle. never so I might Ste down bring you back.

yeah the thing about him is the reason I. called jelly that day about three years. ago after I heard that one song I called. him and I go listen bro you're bringing. back something that this country has not. heard in 30 years all these type of. songs like these singers Greg Alman yeah. a couple of them even the dude from. Leonard skinned the way they sang it was. deep you felt their years you felt what. they had gone through yeah and I think. that's what jelly brought back to us oh.

yeah that's what he brought that little. piece that's what he brought back that. type of you know I still listen to a lot. of eater Peach almonds and I still. listen to live from the [ __ ] Beacon. whatever the [ __ ] theer they do all the. time you know we have that Green Room. playlist Midnight Rider is the first. song that's the [ __ ] yeah that gets. that's the first song Sometimes I switch. it up sometimes it's I'm your Boogeyman. that's another one depends on how we're. feeling Joey depends on how we're. feeling yeah come give me some am your.

boogie man is he stilling give me some. volume too I don't know man but this is. the song When We would walk into the. arena when we do Arenas when we walk. into the arena like as we're walking. into the Green Room I like to play I'm. your Boogeyman cuz that's one of those. on that just listen to this you're. walking in the joint gets fired up the. ice cubes go in the glass the whiskey. gets poured cheers. music goes up everybody gets ready.

show's about to. start be it early morning late afternoon. or at. midnight it's too soon I want to feel. you that was back when you could use. rainbows you know who was here last. night. who [ __ ] nobody told me cool in.

the gang was here last night no way at. the Moody [ __ ] theater no way when I. got to the hotel room I looked at the. menu and they said yeah uh entertainment. for the month [ __ ] that was the thing. that I didn't realize about moving here. I thought I was going to miss out on. like big. artists like big acts but then when I. got here I'm like oh they all come to. town they all come here this is they all. got to stop they all come here got to. say hell Williams was just here got to. say hell Mark Curry remember our guy.

Mark Curry [ __ ] yeah Mark Curry's a man. Mark Curry is a sweetheart I just bumped. into him do you have his number no I I. got to get his number I got him into the. haha and then he was working a little at. the store before the pandemic it my man. Willie D reached out to me the other day. and he said that he saw him he said Mark. Curry was on fire Mark Curry was open. enough for cat he said it was insane. talk it's 40 Years of stand up what do. you expect oh Mark was. so so underrated so we'd see him at the. store he was so polished but you know.

what he just made a ton of money off. that show I was like I'm good I'm a. chill he's a great guy too yeah the best. nicest guy in the world nicest guy in. the world always great to Young comics. when I walked in the store he was always. very nice great to everybody you didn't. have to earn you you know a conversation. with him he talked to Door people so. Mark Curry is opening for cat on the. road yeah yeah at least that show in. Austin and did they do the Moody I don't. know what he did did a big big place. though cat's killing it it's like his. ticket sales went up like.

800% they did the HB Center HB Center. yeah so they did the big place that's. that 15,000 place look at that come on. son Come On Son let's. go I always love cat I love cat so I. don't know he did that interview he said. I wouldn't have him on I'm like what are. you talking about I have I'll have you. on let's go two times. anytime whenever you want to come by. call me call me I'll [ __ ] you I'll fire.

this place up at 300 in the morning for. you I'll wake up I'm always into doing. something I think uh we're gonna get a. studio downtown I think I'm going to get. a studio in one of them pen houses with. a view so we could do nighttime podcasts. like after the podcast or after the. shows like say if we do a 7 o'clock show. at the mothership hey let's just go [ __ ]. around let's go do a podcast for we did. at the Ice House a great day those are. great days when Red Band had that cool. studio right there at the ice house and.

we would go onto the stage Ice House. Chronicles we had a good time I wonder. what the ice house looks like now it's. supposed to be nice really nice it's. very cleaned up a lot of guys don't like. it cuz they miss the dirt I get it you. miss like it was an old Club it was the. longest running club in the country the. ice house. was yes ice house was the longest. running standup comedy club in the. country it was older than the store I. house existed before the store and it. was uh it was originally an actual ice.

house where people would go to get ice. and then it became like some sort of a. rock and roll uh club and then it became. a comedy club in the early 70s been in a. comedy club forever the longest running. comic Club even before the. store it really was a gem oh it was. amazing that club was a gem and I'll. tell you why cuz it just took you out of. that whole La [ __ ] for an hour exactly. it took you out of there people put out. in regular people. those people in the little in that big. room that would come on Friday and.

Saturday I don't know why anybody didn't. take their specials there a lot of guys. did they just come to laugh there they. came prepared good good people it was a. good place to be good stff that's what I. miss about La the Armenians yeah I don't. they're up north see New Jersey's got a. lot of Armenians but up north yeah so. when I moved here the Armenian would. call me all the time and say you want to. buy a gun my friend he'll see. you but when I went to my hometown I had. Armenians up there growing up not a lot. of them like this one wrestler kid but.

when I went up there about 5 years ago I. noticed I have an Armenian Church in. North parg oh yeah so I was like yeah. they got them up here they're everywhere. but I don't have them down by me not. like Glendale no I miss you were out. next to him yeah no no and I just the. last manly men yeah they're [ __ ] out. of their mind unapologetically masculine. men dog that was still to the day my. best drug dealer I miss him we still. talk once in a while while he's still. [ __ ]. nuts he's.

still I don't know how these guys could. do it I mean I was there with him 20. years ago for him to still and he's. still at that race at that pace I'm. sorry he's not at the pace like I go out. Friday and Saturday no no no you know. now he just goes to Vegas for the week. oh boy now he just goes to Vegas 100. Xanax couple ounces blow do you think. you could ever do a residency somewhere. like a Vegas type deal people would come. to see you yeah the thing about living.

in Vegas Joey is one there's great it's. great tax benefits but two you don't. live in Vegas no you live in like. Henderson yeah or somewhere nice people. like it Henderson's nice like it what's. that other place there's another area of. Vegas that's real nice that's out. further away a lot of people live. in um where Red Rocks is where's Red. Rocks I was going to say that but that's. not what it's called Red Rock is nice in. Colorado uh no no no Red Rock Casino oh.

okay I'm Sor that might be what they. call it I guess the area Red Rock yeah I. mean that's a nice area that's where uh. the fertitas have that Club Red Rock. that's uh I saw Dana White gambling. there and he was down $600,000 playing. Blackjack I was like you [ __ ]. psychopath what are you doing cuz I knew. he did that but I never went with them. to do it till this one time these guys. are all gambling Taylor lean lost. $120,000 in the first five minutes and. I'm [ __ ] [ __ ] in my pants I I'm I. getting anxiety I can't watch this this.

this is insane Taylor W up winning he he. I think he was up 60 and he quit then. Dana wed up winning Dana was down 600. and he wed up being up 600 Dana's good. at card oh he's a wizard he got kicked. out of the Palms back in the day he won. like $7 million one night and they they. gave him the. boot they said you're banned do you play. CS no I mean I did with my wife I went. with my wife uh with Whitney and Lex. freedan we went to Vegas a while back. during the pandemic Whitney had a.

corporate gig so it was like a it was a. she did stand up at some lady's house so. went to this this Rich lady had this. house in Vegas and Dana Carvey and. Whitney Cummings and I introduced. Whitney because I was just there and I. was drunk we just went from Andrew. Schultz's wedding so we went to Andrew. Schultz's wedding in monoco we flew on a. jet with Lex Freeman hammered out of his. [ __ ] mind Whitney and my wife we all. went to Vegas for like the day like so.

we got there at like 900 p.m. the gig is. at 10:00 she she does her gig and then. we go out we go and play cards and it. was it it was a hilarious night Lex. Friedman got a push-up contest with. David goggin I called Goggins and said. we were in town Goggins met us there we. hung out with gogins and his wife and we. played a little bit of cards but I'm I'm. not good at it did you ever play poker. with Five Guys nope nope poker to me was. always the thing that killed pool action. because you can't miss when you're.

playing poker you can win or lose so if. you're a gambling addict there's a lot. of guys that like the thing about pool. is making the shot it's like the the. nine balls it's like it's 8 to eight on. a race to nine you're shooting the. nineball for all the [ __ ] Marbles. and that's what I like I like these High. Press moments I like the the difficulty. of like performing under pressure and. cards didn't have any of that but it had. the gambling so all the gambling addicts.

were just addicted to gambling they. didn't want to play pool anymore they. wanted to play cards so we'd have these. gin games Jin Ry games these guys be. playing all these card games when you. couldn't get any pool games so to me I. was like this is not good I don't like. this I can never sit with five guys all. night like I knew people who play two. three days I don't know I can't do that. I'm not a game guy even Monopoly as a. kid once you started buying hotels I'm. done poker is a very skillful game and. I'm sure I would love it it's just.

like golf to me like uh my friend's. husband he plays professionally he plays. poker he lives out here and he goes. everywhere he goes to these tournaments. there's these card places there's one. out in Round Rock that's this big. [ __ ] card card place and you know. like high level guys go there and they. play and they play tournaments and he. makes money like he's a real poker those. gu Ari was a real poker player Ari lived. in La he played a lot of like real poker. but to me you know how I am I can't I.

can't get into another thing I'm too. crazy I get into another thing I'm. playing you know I got into archery I'm. shooting arrows three hours a day the. only reason I can't do it more is my. shoulder gives out I get tired otherwise. I'd be there all day I'm a psychopath. and if you give me something like poker. where all I have to do is sit there and. do this and I and I get better at it and. figure it out I'll be doing that 12. hours a day I can't do it I'm too crazy. I don't have time for that either I. never I never I don't even know to play. dice. like street dice on a street I walked by. games all the [ __ ] time as a kid I.

didn't I stopped for two minutes said. hello but I didn't play there was a 30%. chance that someone was going to get. punched or shot if there was ever a dice. game there's a 30%. chance I always thought that was like. this is like a high level of potential. violent activity because people get mad. they lose they think someone's cheating. someone's got load of dice someone says. they bet this but they didn't bet this. they bet that and it's like arguments. and [ __ ] and D I used to go to this. place not used to go I went twice with a.

crazy friend of mine. Chris you [ __ ] 181st Street it was a. parking garage maybe six. floors you just pulled in there was a. guy standing there and you'd open up the. door you pulled into a a car elevator. that put your car up the car brought you. up to the sixth floor you [ __ ] come. out of your car you walk out of the. elevator Joe you thought you were in. [ __ ] Vegas really everything was Dark. poker Blackjack all that [ __ ] o those.

are exciting cocaine hookers de there. was hookers on site people snorting on. sight twice I went down like this is too. much for me wow one time me and Chris we. drove a girl out of there that we grew. up with and then we all went to a hotel. and snorted coke till the next day so. how do they get away with that did they. make a deal with the cops they pay the. cops off what do they probably probably. get everybody to keep their mouth shut. you can't get everybody this 30 years. ago this is a. different mindset it was up 181st and.

all the cops were dirty back then you. would always find dirty cops like that. you know I mean but I don't know how. they do it they figure it out you play. you have to pay like the the Battalion. CH you know it's just you got to pay. somebody you got to pay him good money. yeah you got to give them a piece so. they have a invested interest in keeping. the place open see I knew people who had. that but they'd have moving locations. every day so the cops could never get. off hold you it's like when you book. numbers on the phone we had to get a new. apartment every 3.

weeks not not a personal apartment right. to book out of to book out of so I would. get a my mom would get an apartment and. then she would get three different. apartments out of that apartment so. nobody could read what you're doing then. a month later next door then a month. later around the block then you're back. to that [ __ ] building so you pretty. much pay rent on it all those years rent. was cheap now you get [ __ ] and you. isn't it crazy how much underground. gambling there was with bookies and the.

numbers and the numbers was a big one. numbers was big you know underground. casinos I'm I used to go with my buddy. Martin Perez to this Judo school I never. wanted to go I used I was more of a. karate guy but I would go with him and. it was like this old [ __ ] Japanese. guy and this old Cuban dude and they. would throw each other around there was. a Russian guy there this is the' 70s and. up the corner there was a place where. people were play cards and I found out. my stepfather would go there and one day. I went to Judo on the way out as I was.

walking towards the bus on sth street I. saw unmarked. cars I saw like two unmarked cars and. when I got home that night my stepdad. was getting ready go where you going he. goes I'm going to play cards and I go. you going on the 8ighth street he goes. yeah I go don't go down there he goes. why I go cuz I was down there with. Martin and I saw the [ __ ] two. unmarked cars down there and he goes. what the [ __ ] do you know I go what do I. know that I've been [ __ ] five I've. been learning to be a lookout CU I'm. five that's my job to look to keep my.

[ __ ] eyes open and I would just pick. up [ __ ] like that I would just pick up. two unmark cars he didn't go he thought. about it he goes okay if you saw him I. won't go sure enough the next day I woke. up he gave me 50 bucks he's like dog how. the [ __ ] did you know cuz I'm telling. you I [ __ ] know they got raided they. didn't know in those days the cops would. go early and they Park like two blocks. away cuz they're [ __ ] lazy right you. know if you're going to raid somebody. stay the [ __ ] away from there all.

goddamn day then come in at night don't. [ __ ] lurk all day we know second Good. Fellas they were following them all. [ __ ] day with a helicopter just bust. them [ __ ] yeah well they want to. terrorize you before they get you well. they want to see what they want to see. how you respond well if you're cracked. out you're going to go to try to get rid. of something or you're going to go to. try to hide something and they got your. phone ta they got everything so they put. a cop car in front of your house to see. where you react to see how your reaction. would be yeah for the day and then you. start cleaning the house you know you.

call people get everything out of your. house whatever the [ __ ] it is and then. they come in and you. know but it's a different world out. there now so I don't know nothing about. that [ __ ] world now yeah it's a. different and I don't want to know yeah. cuz now they'll shoot you just for being. there and then it's you know it's. different world in terms of law. enforcement too people getting out of. jail like that now and they still won't. drop my warrant in [ __ ] Seattle. you can't even get arrested in Seattle. for what you did you wouldn't even have.

a record you cannot [ __ ] you could hit. somebody with a stick and be out that. afternoon yeah you wouldn't have a. record in Seattle D they I'm still going. back and forth with these [ __ ]. that's why I looked before cuz you still. can't get your uh yourport passport I. just sent them the last thing if you get. a passport and we go overseas when we do. gigs overseas you will get a passport we. will do this when you do this we're. going to have to [ __ ] fly in a day. early we're going to make it so cuz I. don't know if you're even going to be. able to get in over there it might it. might be a hard time once you land where.

anywhere UK anywhere dogs Canada is a. big one Canada is Canada is not going to. take me we're not going to go to Canada. and I love Canadians I got nothing. against canadi it's the way the country. Works they won't let the nicest guy we. know has got a DUI and he can't get in. the Canada but that you could pay a. tax like Snoop Dog so you're telling me. Snoop Dogg can't play Canada there's a. tax you could pay little heavy and then. you get it's like everybody else we. could all settle this with an envelope. well you get an they get an envelope.

anyway when you do a gig encounter they. get a big tax envelope you get that in. the UK too you do a gig in the UK you. you're paying let me tell you something. before 9911 I was going up to Toronto. two times a year okay I had all these. criminal charges no warrants or. anything my. friend from the Miami Improv dated a. girl from Buffalo and he called her. father the picked me up at the Buffalo. airport take me to his house and then. cross me over the border before 9/11.

there was a casino they' go to and you. just drove in right there was no ID no. nothing and he would drive me to Toronto. he would drive me to Ontario and I take. the bus to Toronto and do the two weeks. and then come back but on the way back I. would come on the. bus I would drive those [ __ ]. crazy dog when I give my license they. start looking at me and they go when did. you come in here and I go last week you. were the guy that was working they would.

say no I wasn't I would have never let. you come through well you let me the. [ __ ] out. now because your record yeah they would. hold me for like 10 minutes like how did. you get into this country I'm like on. [ __ ] bus you guys let me in last week. no it was a mistake we could have never. let you in dog I would [ __ ] with them. all the time I tried to do that cute. [ __ ] during. 911 they yanked me right the [ __ ] out of. there they we're not taking this [ __ ]. But to answer your question from before. my plan is this I'm doing 10.

spots okay I'm up to number three okay. when I do my 10 Spots I'm going to. decide what I want to. do I'm not going to travel no more I'm. not going to get on [ __ ] planes that. was brutal last night that was brutal. three and a half hours on a flight for. me I can't do that now really yeah I'm. good for like an hour and a half I went. to Nashville on jsx the private plane. the semi-private 30 people on tremendous. I recommend that to anybody if you don't. like terminals I [ __ ] loved it but. they don't fly to Austin yet they fly to. Dallas then you have to connect to.

Austin my plan is this start doing some. sets at The Stand start going over and. seeing Chris missil at the Gotham Comedy. Club do a couple of those and when I'm. feel like I got 45 minutes I'm going to. take a residency somewhere where do you. think you're going to go. AC or Parks Casino where's parks. Philadelphia. M I have no problems in Philadelphia. Philadelphia is is great nobody's going. to ever walk out of my show in. Philadelphia no they're fun yeah nobody.

will ever walk out of my shows in. Philadelphia insulted no nobody will get. their feelings. hurt if I say a joke that you know I'm. on the Spectrum somebody's not going to. cry after the show and say that their. nephew's on the Spectrum and the show. hurt their feelings Philly that's never. going to happen animals animals and. Atlantic City animals that's never going. to happen people animals same people. Jersey that's why I belong that's why I.

belong yeah you could easily do a. residency I would love to tell you I'm a. put a tuxedo on and go to Vegas sing a. couple songs and then talking do an hour. material I would love to tell you want. to. fly no I get it do you think you'd ever. live anywhere other than. Jersey yes cuz if you lived in Vegas you. could do a a residency there list we're. not [ __ ] crazy here that's a tough. tough state to retire to in Jersey you. know what I'm saying it's not cheap bro.

Jersey is not cheap not [ __ ] cheap. bro Jersey's expensive and that's why. everybody from Jersey flies to [ __ ]. Florida you know I like to lean towards. Nashville Nashville's nice outside of. Nashville like at like you know. something and it bro right now you can. pick up a house in Nashville for nothing. well the ones I saw over the holidays. brand new not much Joe you know because. it's G to be just a be house mhm it's. just a property to retire it right if I. turn 65 you know how much money I'll.

save by having a Tennessee. address by living in Tennessee a lot. they don't tax your pension yeah they. don't tax much man I read about Dubai. see if this is true Dubai there's no tax. there's no income tax none at all they. just have so much money they're like we. don't need your money don't worry about. it next year and everything's clean my. friend will went over there he moved. over there he said he goes I don't want. to get shot in America he goes I could. live like in be completely safe in Dubai.

UAE does not Levy income tax on. individuals however it levies a 5% value. added tax on purchases of goods and. services levied at each stage of the. supply chain and ultimately borne by the. end consumer that's not yeah but that's. okay if you know what that is that's a. big difference between that and income. tax income tax is weird because you. don't get any. say and where it goes and when you see. what's going on with Ukraine you see. what's going on with Israel you see.

what's going on with all the different. [ __ ] that the B Administration spends. money on all the money they're giving to. illegal immigrants that are coming into. the country all all the money they're. given for programs that are. ridiculous that's your money and you. don't have any say you can't argue about. it it's not there's not in competition. so there's not a better company that's. going to come along and take care of the. taxes in a better way more efficient. there's no incentive to do it better. this [ __ ] you give me the money we're.

not giving Ukraine any more money right. we're giving him a a lot more money yeah. that was one of the things that uh they. were arguing about that they have to do. both they were they wanted the Ukraine. budget to be lumped into the Border. fixing. budget Joey it's wild that [ __ ]. border it's a wild thing it's a wild. thing they're doing that border what. Abbot is doing down there telling those. [ __ ] to step off and [ __ ] and. I met Abbot a few times he's a good man.

I like that guy a. lot you know the sending the buses. filled with immigrants to the sanctuary. cities is such a crazy move like [ __ ]. you you take care of them you're just. letting them in your policies are. letting them in you're encouraging. people to go there because you're a. sanctuary City good we'll help you out. we'll help you out we we'll bring them. right to you and now these same. politicians that were running on this. platform this mis. fantasy platform this is a fantasy like. come here we'll accept you all and let's.

say that the governor now she's like. that's enough no more there you can't. come here go somewhere else go somewhere. else what does that mean go where. they're already here there's too many. there's Millions you guys have let. millions in there's more illegal. immigrants over the last few years than. our legal residents in like five. states if you put together like Idaho. Wyoming you know like them them weird. states with low populations what's the.

number of illegal immigrants that have. entered into this country over the last. four years let's guess what do you think. it is millions yeah 100% Millions 10. million maybe 12 maybe 12 what do you. think it is CH I saw those [ __ ] lines. they don't even know by the way they're. just guessing they're just guessing. they're just guessing they're not. counting them all I don't know how to. find that number even just try to Google. no I get I I've tried this before you.

can't I don't know how to differentiate. illegal versus legal and they don't. really tell you either they have to. figure it out themselves some you're. allowed to cross well they're trying to. make everybody legal that's part of the. hustle the hustle is make everybody. documented see when I typed in illegal. immigrants entering us 2023 this is what. it says it says there's arrivals of. migrants without prior authorization. which I guess that Tech I don't I don't. know if that's even legal you know I. don't know so in one year um arrival of. ports of Entry migrants but that's ports.

of Entry that's not like coming in. through the border right that's I don't. coming through the Border that's like. doing a homeless count how do you why. don't you Google this how many uh. illegal immigrants sneak through the. Border just Google that how would you. know that I don't know Google. it how many how many illegal immigrant. but just do it in my language do it how. many illegal uh immigrants sneak through. the Border. right that sneak sneak sneak sneak sneak.

through the. Border let's see what's. up record num okay this is real recent. December 20 uh 24th click on that what's. it say said something like 50,000 but I. don't it still is like how many per day. I don't know uh 50, no can't be that. much is it that's. crazy I'm not to see that number now. does it say before Happ there was a. number there it goes okay in just the.

last five days border patrol processed. nearly 50,000 M whoa 5 days who enter. the US illegally with daily apprehension. surpassing 10,000 Thrice up from the. 6,400 average last month accorded. Federal data obtained by CBS News. roughly 1,500 immigrants are being. processed each day at official border. crossing under the Biden program powered. by a phone app but that's not sneaking. across that's why I was like that's not.

answering the question you asked it says. but they are it says entering the US. illegally but they're processed it's not. sneaking right but they still made it. across illegally they entered in. illegally that's just what I'm saying. I'm I'm saying sneaking in but that's. really what it is they're processing. anybody but they're just letting them go. this is what's crazy they're processing. you but it's a [ __ ] they don't they. don't sell you have to go back there's. no going back you go in they give you a. phone they give you money a phone yeah. some places they're giving people.

phones and so if it's let's say if it's. go back to that it passed 10,000 it said. P 10,000 Thrice so let's just say it's. 50,000 so 10,000 a day if it's 10,000 a. day daily let's that's the high end. let's assume that they're not counting. them all and a lot of them sneak through. 10,000 that's. 3,650 th000 a. year. that's now how am I you know when I read.

all this [ __ ] and I hear all this [ __ ]. how am I supposed to feel if it really. is 10,000 a day that is [ __ ] bananas. but think about it how am I supposed to. feel I'm an immigrant how I supposed to. feel I got to hear this [ __ ] all day. long and I feel terrible about this [ __ ]. I would do it but do you see the lines. of the people that are [ __ ] coming. through it's nuts and you know listen I. don't know if a lot of people know this. [ __ ] s ation police all this [ __ ] in New. York there's no overtime mhm because all.

that budget has gone to the migrants. yeah and the migrants are not happy no. they they're losing their [ __ ] mind. well they thought they were going to get. jobs they were told they were going to. get jobs they're trying to start. families there's nothing there for them. homeless why we come out here to be. homeless the sanctuary cities now I. don't even know New York City is a. sanctuary City okay whoever made that. didn't check with the people no you know. what I'm saying like whoever said we. were in sanctuary city in New York City. didn't check with the people in the. community you know what it is it's just. letting everybody know you're not.

racist you're not racist you have no. problem with immigrants we're not racist. we're not of course we're not racist but. I see that my friend who's got two. children that depends on overtime from. the sanitation department can't get it. he's a supervisor he lost thousands in. [ __ ] salaries it's all going to this. to the migrant thing and cops no. overtime you know so this is what is. doing you know and this just isn't New. York it's got to be in all the big. cities has a big problem with it Texas.

Houston you know and what comes from. this you don't know again we're going. back to the Mariel thing I don't know. who the [ __ ] is coming in yeah I don't. know if they raped 22 women I don't know. if they raped 22 boys I don't know if. they're perfect [ __ ] citizens we. don't know these things so we're you. know this was just something listen when. I think of politics I don't get involved. Joe Rogan because it scares me the only. thing that doesn't scare me is how a man. how a man could have 20,000 indictments.

and still lead the presidential [ __ ]. in our country this is why America's. America how can [ __ ] somebody have 92. [ __ ] indictments he's in New York. yelling yesterday yeah but he still has. 50% of the [ __ ] country on lockdown. right isn't that like a he has he's. beating Nikki Haley and the other guy. well because it appears that they're. Prosecuting him for political purposes. yes they are I mean I'm not a political. guy and I'm telling you they just.

throwing they just keep [ __ ] throwing. things at this throwing things at him. also that don't make sense like we. talked about the mara Lago thing a bunch. of times where they tried to say that he. overvalued Mara Lago and the the judge. said it's worth $1 18 million nobody. thinks that no nobody thinks that. there's not a [ __ ] human alive that. thinks that place is only worth 18. million did you see her rais his hand. this week who Sammy the bull what'd he. say talking about [ __ ] Trump he's. great we can. we can never corrupt him the mafia. Italians love Trump who the Italians.

they love Trum he's uncorruptible he was. saying at the other day I'm like sitting. there scratching my head going [ __ ]. sami's a Savage he's a Savage yeah this. uh this is a strange time because. there's people that are trying to paint. everybody that's supporting Trump as. being a white supremacist or a racist or. an an anti-immigration person or. anti-human rights person you want to. vote in a dictator they're trying to say. the most ridiculous versions of what.

most of it is cuz what most of it is is. people that are fed up they're fed up. with the open border they're fed up with. the increasing government scrutiny on. things like social media they're fed up. with the influence that big companies. have over the things you do and don't do. in this country they're fed up with us. being in these [ __ ] Wars constantly. being involved in wars and they know. that Trump was one of the few guys that. when he was in off office we didn't get. into more Wars we didn't we he actually. they did do a great job of stopping Isis.

they did a lot of things with the. economy that seem to been working I'm. not an economist I'm not the guy to have. this conversation with you if you want. to like talk about policies and what's. effective it's not effective I'll tell. you what's not effective what's going on. right now what's going on right now is. not good and you want to continue this. you're out of your [ __ ] mind you look. at the just sheer raw numbers of dollars. that we sent to other countries is here. that you have to realize that if you. wanted the country to be better you.

would have spent that money here and if. you spent that money on us and it stays. in America you got American jobs to make. American cities better you could have. done a [ __ ] substantial amount of. rebuilding American cities with $17. billion there's so much they could have. done that could have elevated so many. lives and they didn't do anything we. just talking about it Buffalo yeah. Cleveland Pittsburgh all these cities up.

north New York and all that they need a. boost up there man they need something. man Cleveland needs a boost I went to. Pittsburgh last year after the pandemic. half the [ __ ] town was closed brother. yeah places that closed down I'm like. come on something like a good restaurant. closed down how can they close down. think about the impact of you can't have. any business for three years no business. it's over I mean Tony Hench Cliff's dad. lost his restaurant he had his Tony. Hench Cliff's dad had a restaurant in. Youngstown Ohio for like 25 [ __ ].

years and he couldn't you know he's. getting by he was getting by he's doing. well getting by making money good. restaurant like real Italian food. [ __ ] goes under you know it's like. God damn it you know you didn't even. give people the option of what they. wanted to do and you were wrong and no. one is punished for it they were wrong. they shouldn't have had us locked down. for that long they were wrong none of. that [ __ ] made sense all that 6ot social. distancing fouchy now admits it's all. [ __ ] they just came up with that.

number people just started saying that. number remember those stupid stickers on. the ground at the bank you had a sticker. you weren't allowed to like stand here. and then the other person has to stay. six feet in front of you and you stand. there you're not allowed to get close. it's all nonsense it was all nonsense. and they scared the [ __ ] out of people. and they kept businesses closed and they. they closed restaurants in Los Angeles. they closed outdoor dining just because. of the Optics of it because Co started. to Surge there was no evidence at all. that it was causing outdoor transmission.

and they closed those [ __ ] things. down they shouldn't be allowed to have. that kind of power over whether or not. you can make a living and the choices. that you make cuz they are just human. beings too and not only are they often. uninformed they're often misinformed. they're often absolutely victims of some. sort of corporate propaganda that. they've been used as a mouthpiece to. promote and they're affecting these. people that have worked their whole. lives for 20 30 years and it's such a.

selfish shitty [ __ ] up way to run a. city and a selfish shitty [ __ ] up way. to run a country and you didn't listen. to all the experts and you didn't take. any consideration People's Health mental. health from losing their jobs how many. people would have been fine how many. people need this [ __ ] medicine that. you're trying to push on and how many. don't and who's making the money off of. him the whole thing was insane and it. was right in front of your face because. we live in 2024 and the [ __ ] internet. is everywhere you can't run these giant.

scams like this where you're just. [ __ ] over the whole country without. everybody just being able to piece it. together at the end of the scam and go. well now we know how they do it look at. they all were working in cahoots. together they were literally paying. media companies to shame people that. were antivaccine the government was. involved in censoring social media posts. wild [ __ ] Joey Wild. [ __ ] so to for people to go through all. that and lose their business and be on.

the other side and then Trump comes. along and he's like that's enough you. can't just label all those people as. white supremacists you can't label all. those [ __ ] people as hateful bigots. CU that's not what it is they don't want. any more of this they're tired of this. nonsense that you're shoving down. people's faces they're tired of. it so that doesn't mean that they're. evil and this narrative is stupid this. narrative that that everyone on the.

other side that disagrees with you. doesn't see that like fundamental. problems the way things are being run. right now everyone is hateful everyone. supports a. dictator you guys are out of your. [ __ ] minds and then we got Cuba and. they're dying of starvation still so. what are they doing now that Castro's. dead is his son running it who's who's. running Cuba they're not having. elections no elections they should bring. back the mob that's when it was running. smoo have [ __ ] paper that's when it. was running smooth [ __ ] man they used to.

love going people used to love going to. Cuba he used to be the place to go they. had gambling there they would go and. gamble like famous people used to go to. Cuba before the Revolution right what's. the what's the guy what's the guy's name. you introduced me to today he owns the. company really nice sweet guy oh Brigham. from waswell yeah yeah me and him had a. tremendous conversy cuz he went he went. to CU and he had to get a Visa as a. student or something and he was blown. the [ __ ] away but he was more Blown Away.

about going into those palaces and those. casinos and they still have pictures of. the people sitting where you were you. know Sinatra and [ __ ] Brando and Rock. Hudson and all the you know we don't. even know we don't even. know how like how many planes would go. down every day with [ __ ] people from. here it was amazing I'll tell you one. thing you ask a Cuban in Miami who. they're voting. for you you going to get a red wave son.

you want to talk about people that vote. Republican you want to talk about people. that don't want to hear no [ __ ]. about socialism shut the [ __ ] up Cubans. will yell at you if you want to talk. that nonsense woke hippie [ __ ] about. Marxism they will [ __ ] yell at you. not the type of [ __ ] to talk about those. people oh those people have actually. felt it they escaped it the that I'm. sitting there Joe and they're talking. about Trump on some CNN or something and. I had to stop and go I could just.

imagine what Cubans in Miami are saying. in Spanish it is [ __ ] hilarious yeah. you know they love Trump they love cuz I. just spoke to like a cousin of mine he's. like TR you know and I'm like oh my God. they love Republicans they love Trump. and they just I could just imagine them. going oh. yeah yeah.

for a Cuban they [ __ ] love that [ __ ]. what I just said was what other country. Kao tell me what other country can you. have 30 indictments and still be [ __ ]. president of the United States oh yeah. that's it it's only one I mean maybe. there's another country that if you. don't give me that [ __ ] can I'm going. to stab you soon why open it cuz you. keep are you trying to open it no no no. I can oh my God I'm like no my God I can. open it like that okay I'm like what the. f no I'm just playing with it sorry you. thought I'm struggling with it oh that's.

hilarious now what is that no no no it's. nicotine pouch they good oh yeah they're. good you want one what flavor this is uh. spearmint am I going to [ __ ] get. dizzy no you get a little excited check. this put that [ __ ] in between. your cheek and gum that's 6 milligrams. you can handle it oh no take it in take. it in the side there you go let's go. Joey woo right like right away you're. like jeez. Jesus yeah the the whole presidential. election the thing that scares me is if.

if if the Democrats stay in power and. Biden stays in power if you have the. same Administration we're we're headed. in the same exact direction as we are. right now and if Trump gets into office. then people going to freak the [ __ ] out. and then there's probably going to be. riots there's probably going to be some. craziness probably going to be violence. probably going to be organized stuff too. there's probably going to be nefarious. groups that organize people to start. civil. unrest that's a real thing you know.

whatever those groups are whoever you. want to call them that's a real thing. whether it's antifa whatever you want to. say groups of human beings that will. purposely start civil unrest in order to. uh push a narrative about a political. movement that the people are tired of. trump they're e you know they're hateful. you know what Jim Brewer has a [ __ ]. great bit about the women's March. because remember when Trump was in. offing the women's March every the. women's Arch goes yeah you knew who a. woman was. then is that a great joke that's only.

2016 2016 he gets in the office there's. this giant women's March and now no one. can tell you what a woman is if you had. a giant women's march today be half. guys and you can't say [ __ ] there's your. there's your sister and then they. they'll hold an election the men will. win because they're more aggressive then. you got a man running a woman's. organization who says he's a woman. it's a crazy [ __ ] world bro you see. this video there's this lady in Chicago. and um uh this guy is trying to use the.

women's room and she's going in there. with her daughter and this guy has a. full beard just a full beard and she's. yelling at him she's like you are whole. you are whole man and he's like I am a. woman and like big deep breath deep. voice big Husky guy with a [ __ ] beard. like what the [ __ ] man like what the. [ __ ] is this really is this is this. being kind is that what this is is this. being open-minded and compassionate or. is this opening the door to [ __ ].

psychopath this is it yeah click this. look at. this this is don't get in my face do not. get in my face don't get. in size that. dude you need to go only here Chicago. you is a man a whole man. when you see this guy this guy's a big. dude yeah he is with a beard on my good.

luck good luck. problem hey man use another bathroom. excuse me just use another bathroom. there's a child in there what that's a. child did you just say what you huh. that's a child in there a little girl. like who's the man's bathroom okay I'm a. woman what it matter. what. [Music].

matter that's a real thing now the. people that want to deny that that's a. real thing you're doing a disservice for. everyone you're doing a disservice to. all the innocent women that have to go. into those bathrooms and don't feel safe. and you're doing a disservice to real. trans people there's a there's going to. be a bunch of people that game your. system and there's going to be a bunch. of perverts with [ __ ] beards who want. to go where the little girls are. [ __ ] people are out of their minds. there's a certain percentage of people.

that are out of their [ __ ] minds it. doesn't mean that all trans people are. bad doesn't mean that all trans people. out of their minds it means that you. have to know what's crazy and what's not. and that's [ __ ] crazy that's crazy. that's a mentally ill person with a. [ __ ] beard trying to get into a. bathroom when a mother and her daughter. are in there. that's crazy the cops weren't called. well it's ch it's Chicago right and what.

happens if the cops come now what. happens in that situation if the cops. come there was no assault [ __ ] if that. was in San Francisco They Might arrest. that. lady they might arrest her for being a. bigot who [ __ ] knows man it's Narnia. out there it's a fantasy world people. have lost their [ __ ] mind and I think. it's engineered I think that China has. been tick tocking these [ __ ] people. into a. coma I think all those little videos.

where you know trans awareness and you. know and maybe you're trans and there. are no genders just 100 and then. psychos like that guy now think that the. culture has moved to the point where. they can kind of get away with. it maybe the cultur has changed their. opinion on things I think I can get away. with this I think I can wear my full. beard with my dick out and and around. women and there's going to be guys like. that just like there's real trans people. there's going to be guys that are crazy.

that take advantage of this thing that I. think has been at least at least. partially engineered by other countries. I think the algorithm supporting that. pushing that out to people people are. super easily influenced man super easily. influenced and if you make it this thing. where you just have to accept everything. that happens to be trans everything is. fine as long as you call it trans well. then then what about perverts don't you. think perverts are going to game that. system this is a Willy Wonka golden.

ticket for perverts that's what it is. wasn't there a [ __ ] Ted Talk a couple. years ago about some chick saying that. we need pedophiles I'm looking through. comments on this saying that this video. we just watched is. satire really yeah I've seen other. videos like this where there are people. that there's a I don't know who they are. but there are groups of people that will. make videos like this that make them. seem real and then put lady great. actress I don't I'm not saying it is but. I'm looking at a lot of comments on Tik. Tok saying this is stage this is fake. well they might be right but that lady.

if that's true that lady is a [ __ ]. great actress cuz that lady really did. seem like someone who was very flustered. and was trying to protect her daughter. yes she was and if it is satire and you. use that D that girl was a really good. actress too cuz she looked like a girl. would respond if a [ __ ] grown man was. trying to get in the bathroom and her. mother was fighting with this grown man. like she was. frozen so that if that's true. if that is fake they're really good. actors I tell you when I knew the world. was going.

crazy Weight Watches is offering. [ __ ] those. shots shots yeah yeah well there's a lot. of money in those shots Joey Diaz I. don't know if you know that no I didn't. oh yeah do you know that those weight. loss drug shots like these peptides it's. one of the biggest weight loss markets. that's ever EX existed that like it's. emerged they're everywhere Now. everywhere like what do the how much how.

many people are on OIC and wgo V and all. these other like what's the numbers gp1. um yeah Agonist or whatever they. are that's not a free ride either Brian. Simpson tried that [ __ ] and got wrecked. he he's one of the few PE like a certain. percentage of people they do it they. have a bad side effect and he was one of. those terrible gastrointestinal pain. like he was Agony really yeah yeah yeah. he he had to quit it right away one. database that has I'm still a little.

apprehensive after the vaccine yeah cuz. you know it just another thing that just. popped up if you had been talking about. it for a few years I would have jumped. on it but it just popped up well some. people Brigham supports it Brigham says. it's like for people that want to lose. weight it is one of the only ways where. you can like kind of guarantee that they. can lose weight but you know there's the. AR arent about that a lot of people are. losing uh muscle mass and they're losing. um bone mass along with the weight he's.

saying yeah but that's because they're. not doing it right and they should also. do it with peptides and he said they. should do it with resistance training. well the guy I really know that that he. even talked to me about it he goes Joey. consider it so look at this says. 1.7% 1.7% of people in the US have been. prescribed to glutide medication in 2023. up 40 fold over the past 5 years so was. I mean I never even heard of it before.

20122. no um okay so that's that's then so. 1.7% now so somewhere around some in the. neighborhood of two million people are. on it in this country now my friend said. if you do it correctly he goes what. happened was doctors prescribed it to. you and nobody did the [ __ ] research. on it so they did the wrong dose I work. out with a guy Joe for Life Tom this. [ __ ] he's very smart like you.

very like this is his thing and I asked. him once cuz he asked me he goes have. you ever considered I go I don't know do. you recommend and he goes let me tell. you something if you do it correctly. it'll work he goes I read into a bunch. of studies but he goes what they don't. tell you is you have to change your. eating you have to eat the protein first. on your. dish because you're going to get too. full but the time you get to your carbs. so he goes people were eating it and. eating salad and that's why they were. losing the muscle mass and everything.

that makes go you got to double your pro. your protein intake now like a. bodybuilder needs 150 to 180 grams of. [ __ ] protein a day sure I could. squeeze out a 100 if I'm lucky. buddy eggs seven grams each right three. eggs for breakfast no steak you know. I'll eat all that [ __ ] later but how do. you do 150 [ __ ] grams a day a. protein all I eat is meat [ __ ] meals. that's 530 G meals I'm sure I get close.

to. that so that's what he was saying that. people were not doing it right it works. 80% better with resistance training I'm. sure 80% better I'm sure okay anytime. you're well you're essentially what it. does is it kills your um your desire to. eat right it kills your appetite right. so you eat less right it's basically. doing the same thing is if you had a. controlled diet and you decided that you. were going to eat less when you're going. into starvation mode so you're burning.

off more calories than your body. consumes your body's going to start. eating its tissue you're going to you're. going to eat some muscle mass you're. going to eat some because you're just. not doing but if you did do it with. peptides and you did do it with. weightlifting I would imagine You'. probably keep I mean imagine a lot of. that 35% they're talking about is like. people didn't do anything I bet a lot of. people just took the shots and. especially if they're overweight already. drink alcohol they don't have a health. lify yeah but I do know that some people.

get side effects and that that was Brian. Brian got one of the bad side effects. they're they're pretty common you know. enough enough people get them to that. it's something you have to cons you know. I called you about the peptide and then. you turned me on thank you again for the. stem cells today yeah I they I hope they. help your knee man I didn't F pass out. good beautiful Fai I had to leave you in. the room I KN like saying Jo freaking. out about need no no no I wish you would. have came in and talked to me a little. bit the nurses were great they're great. way to Well's awesome I love that place.

I could tell you and I even told her to. her face I go I love to tell you I felt. the needle wow well they're really good. they're really good I love to tell you I. felt the needle I didn't even feel it I. put my iPod on Sana beautiful then I did. the [ __ ]. IV they have people black out all the. time he was see the needle they do he. was talking about GSP he was talking. about GSP scared needles that's. hilarious isn't that funny that guy I'm. telling you that it is the weirdest fear.

that you could ever [ __ ] have GSP is. so interesting because he's such a man. that he's not afraid at all to tell you. what he's afraid of you know what I'm. saying like he doesn't put on any. there's no Bluster there's no [ __ ]. what he is is what he is do I had a my. friend's parent when I was a kid I. brought a snake into his house this guy. was a [ __ ] iron worker. they're tough as Nails dring Irish this. guy was in the wall in the corner saying. to me Joey I beg you get that out of my.

house and I kept busting his balls come. on are you really scared of this little. it was a little G snake dog I mean he. was ready to climb into the [ __ ]. corner there that's a real thing that's. phobus idop phobia dog the best one I. was telling her but I didn't tell her. the truth I told the nurse about a. different story but I you know when I. went to prison you have to do a physical. so here I am in prison you know like you. got to [ __ ] it and hold your own right I. go in there they put me at the desk and. I'm like Lord don't let me pass out not.

today cuz I will wake up these brothers. will yank me dog do not pass out and Joe. I [ __ ] kept it. together I went back into the holding. intact what up what up what up yeah you. know we did next thing you know I. [ __ ] put the arm down I took the. cotton ball off and there was a Red Dot. on blood I [ __ ] f. I have thousands of them I never told. anybody the truth of how I ripped my.

Meniscus let me tell you how I RI my. Meniscus yeah I was at acupuncture and I. was like this on the cuz at that time. she didn't lay me down she sat me down. and I was like this and she started. sticking needles into me and I fainted. and the chair I buckled and I just fell. off the chair onto the floor oh no I I. tore my Meniscus at acupuncture who does. that dog I have a thous. you know you know my wife had to stop. when she was my girlfriend she would. send me down to get a blood test I. wouldn't.

go I wouldn't. go I would be petrified. pet. petrified I a date a girl and when she. saw someone getting a needle in a movie. she would faint bro I fainted in Pulp. Fiction when they stuck the needle in. the heart I was on a date and Boulder. and all a sudden the girls putting. raisinets in my mouth and [ __ ] saying I. think you passed out I did [ __ ] pass. out uh she was trying to revive you with. Raisin Nets with raisinette she didn't. know she said I just passed back come on.

guys I got 10 you know I and it's always. hit and miss lately the. last 10 years I've been very good except. for a couple IVs in my hand that didn't. work but beside that I've been very good. two three months ago I did the PRP on my. knee they took six Bloods of six tubes. of blood out that was no bueno for Papa. you know my boy Tommy Tommy Tommy Jor. yeah yeah Tommy uh just fell asleep. behind the. wheel shoveling snow all day shoveling.

his car out of snow driving and he's got. Das cam footage just falls asleep hits a. [ __ ] wall is he okay yeah he's he's. banged up he's banged up he's got some. injuries but is he falling asleep um he. just doesn't know what happened he just. blacked. out it's blacked out driving from. exertion you know if you're a guy who's. out of shape snow is heavy right. especially if it's melting a little bit. and you you got to do your whole.

driveway that's a workout. man it's not good after 50 well it's not. good if you're not in shape it's it's. great if you're in shape it's a really. good workout like you could you could. get it like I could put a [ __ ] chest. strap on and set an app for a workout. and shovel in snow oh yeah and it's a. real workout we used to shovel snow when. I was a kid that was a great way to make. money I shovel [ __ ] snow when I was. an adult. for money when I was 19 I shoveled snow. and Aspen yeah we knock on people's. doors no I the guy just I was part of.

the building crew it was 15 an hour and. you went out there whatever hours you. wanted it was work your own hours it was. [ __ ] fantastic I loved it I was also. casing out joints you know cuz that's. where all the drug dealers live so I was. shoveling and casing yeah when I was a. kid we would make a a ton of loot ton of. money now you can't get a kid to come. out no in Jersey nothing nobody knocks. on my door I was out there last week it. was stood in the neighborhood that. that's how people would make money so. like the moment like it would start. snowing people would be showing up at.

people's houses ask them if they wanted. to get shoveled out that was second I. used to go on the roads and push. [ __ ] that's a quick 20 oh yeah. you push a [ __ ] out of a hole he. you'll do anything for you seriously oh. yeah there's always people stuck too. pushing and then shoveling them out they. got stuck [ __ ] putting rocks out. there the thing is about like real cold. places like that people will [ __ ]. help you because they know you could die. like if you see a highway and some guys. it's snowing and some guy's over to the. side of the road and his Hood's up let's.

pick this guy up like it's a dangerous. thing to do but a lot of people do it. there a lot of people do it they'll pick. people up in the snow I would he listen. man I just was told when I moved to. Jersey to be careful when I shovel that. a lot of people drop [ __ ] oh yeah. shoveling snow you have a heart attack. it's real work but is it because of the. cold weather or it's well the weather's. cold but I don't I think that's [ __ ]. you up I think it's just the exertion. it's a lot of working out like if you. let's say you have a 100 yard driveway.

you know yeah you're done that's crazy. that's crazy then you get a okay let's. let's say it's 20 yards let's say that's. a that's a lot to shovel if it's wet if. it's melting a lot let's say that every. shovel full is 40 lbs okay if you're. doing every shovel full 40 PBS for. reps so you're essentially doing this. for reps and then carrying it you're. doing 500 reps that's a. lot for example after only 2 minutes of.

snow shoveling study participants heart. rates exceeded. 85% of maximal heart rate which is a. level more commonly expected during. intense aerobic exercise testing the. impact is hardest on those people who. are least fit duh and that's. unfortunately my boy Tommy so he just. [ __ ] and just blacked out on the. wheel yeah I just SN it snowed two weeks. ago I got a two-car driveway I shoveled. it with my wife my daughter came out and.

threw some [ __ ] salt I did the stairs. we didn't touch the sidewalk cuz nobody. walks on them if you're fit you should. look at it as your workout dude that's a. workout get out there and [ __ ] get. after it do it do it like a workout. bro Jamie young Jamie can I ask you for. a favor can you show Joe the people. shoveling Buffalo Stadium last weekend. that was [ __ ] work and they pay you. 20 an hour they feed you and they give. you two tickets for the game oh really.

yeah oh that's not a bad deal [ __ ] you. should if you're a kid that's a good. deal you get to see the G bro there wer. no kids out there there was a bunch of. fat dudes like me out there [ __ ]. laying back [ __ ] he sweed tickets. yeah let me see what that looks like jam. oh my God look at this look at the St. wow they're pushing all that snow down. the shoot that's crazy they couldn't get. it out they just let you could pick your. seat when they did the game so did they. play in that snow no they would have. they would how would they know where the. lines are they come out after every play.

and blow off the lines oh my God that's. hilarious um they only blow off the. lines so you're running through snow for. the what's like the heaviest snow. they've ever played in I'll show. you let's see look at that that is crazy. and it's Buffalo that's. crazy you know there's something very. American about that that you have to. play in the. snow I mean that is the game right cuz. at baseball they're like oh it's over.

folks it's raining out can't have these. players get wet not. this why don't they play baseball in the. rain play it in the [ __ ] rain what. are you doing play the game in the rain. who gives a [ __ ] nope it's a rain day we. called it for rain [ __ ] meanwhile it's. snowing way zero degrees and those guys. are playing football last week in Kansas. city was the coldest football game of. all time how cold was it n outside I.

think the wind show was minus there was. [ __ ] with no t-shirts on I. guess like 60 people went to the. hospital audience members 69 people. needed help from the fire department. yeah did you know the one one of the. dudes that survived the Titanic he was. in the water for 2 hours and I think he. was a chef and the story was that he got. drunk. before he went in the water he just got. hammered cuz he knew he was going to die. and somehow or another because he was.

drunk he survived see if you can find. that got it I was reading this I was. like how does that make sense how a. baker survived the Titanic sinking by. getting really. drunk godam blockers these. [ __ ] there we go okay so can. you go back up so I can read scroll so. it says Charles had you say that joen. how do you say that. Jimmy johen join was one of the. disaster's most unlikely survivors and.

he did it thanks to Industrial amounts. of liquor so this dude got super duper. hammered before he went in the water and. somehow or another it helped him. survive uh it was an almost. physiologically impossible feat of. survival and according to the British. Titanic inquiry is because the 30. 33-year-old Englishman had the presence. of mind to greet History's Greatest. Maritime Disaster by getting.

smashed so he knew he was dying he knew. he was dying so he just decided to get. [ __ ] up but he survived uh in survival. situations having all that warm blood. away from the vital organs means that. the Drinker is at a greater risk of. hypothermia however Canadian hypothermia. expert Gordon. GB figures in the -2° C temperature of. the North Atlantic the water was cold. enough to quickly tighten Jo hein's. blood vessels and cancel out any effects.

of the. alcohol so then at low to moderate doses. of alcohol cold will win out says uh gub. the University of Manitoba Professor has. performed hundreds of cold water. emersion studies what yohen would have. had however is the awesome life-saving. power of liquid courage alcohol remains. a leading cause of humans getting into. fatal situations including freezing to. Deaths nevertheless the relaxing. qualities of the drug have long been. known to give humans an uncanny ability.

to survive trauma this reminded me of. the story the lady that passed out in. the in the snow and her friends found. her like the next day and they brought. her in she was still alive yeah they're. saying right here in the ER cold. patients who are really drunk can walk. in and they're conscious at a. temperature that we that they shouldn't. be so did being drunk keeps you alive. keep scrolling down a little more that's. it that's it no no no yeah um his. actions might speak to a man unfazed by.

impending disaster immediately upon. hearing the collision with an iceberg. the chief Baker leapt out of his bunk. and began dispatching his staff to stock. the life boats with bread and biscuits. this done he popped back into his cabin. for a drink before heading topside to. help load lifeboats not not only did. walking what how what however I say his. name Jing refus his own place on a boat. but he and a there's no men like that. today but he and a few other men became. forcibly chuckling chucking reluctant.

women into empty seats likely saving. their lives he said we threw them in he. testified later top deck of the. increasingly listing Titanic was mostly. cleared of lifeboats by 1:30 a.m. to. most this was a panic inducing sign that. all hopes of rescue was gone but to uh. whatever his name is it was a cued to. head back to his cabin for another drink. so this dude's just getting [ __ ] up. he sat down on his bunk and nursed it. along aware but not particularly caring. that the water now rippled through the. cabin doorway wrote historian uh Walter.

Lord in a night to remember Lord was in. touch with the dude uh before the. baker's 1956 death he said the dude then. uh splashed top side again where he took. upon himself to begin throwing deck. chairs overboard with an eye to filling. the water with impromptu flotation. devices so the people could Flo around. on the chairs is perched he then worked. his way back to the pantry to get a. drink of water the baker was standing on. the stern when the ship broke in half.

and yet he remembered the violent. catastrophic breakup only as a great. list over to Port there was no great. shock or anything he told the inquire so. he was just. hammered defly moving through the Swarms. of people he made it to the stern rail. of the ship exactly 22 a.m. he rode the. sinking Titanic into the sea like an. elevator woo. woo as with all surviving Titanic crew. members 2:20 a.m. on April 15 1912 was. also the exact moment in which the White.

Star Line stopped paying him oh boy the. first stage of cold water immersion is. known as cold shock horrifying sensation. to having the skin cool the feelings. with the Titanic Second Officer Charles. light Towler uh described as being like. a thousand knives being driven into. one's. body so this how did this do survive. what did he float around on for two. hours does it.

say paddling and Treading Water you said. I was just paddling and treading water. for two. hours oh my. God how come Leo couldn't do that then. in the movie Just sunk in the water. after two minutes but this Leo wasn't. hammered and he gave up this dude didn't. give up he paddled water for hours I. guess it took a couple hours for them to. get someone to get to them yeah after. two hours which is pretty impressive. that they got to them in two hours.

eventually hold in 19 what what was this. like 19 or somewhere around there I. don't know the exact 1912 some I don't. know the early 1900 so the fact they got. to them in two hours is pretty amazing. 1919. 2019 oh no. 107th yeah okay so 12 yeah 1912 wow let. me go think over. yeah I'll go too we'll be right back. yeah um so she fell out of an airplane. and she landed on an.

anill how big was that [ __ ]. anill and it was fire ants yeah this one. here doesn't say that it was a 1999 47y. old woman Joan. Murray altitude of. 14,500 ft second parachute also failed. to deploy oh my God crashed into a fire. ant mound at more than 80 mph oh my God. immediately started attacking her body. which kept her alive because of the.

adrenaline oh my God and then she's. still survived she was in a coma for two. weeks had operations but she's still. alive I think Jesus I wonder if. the did they slower down at all the. parachutes 80 mes hour is pretty [ __ ]. fast Jesus yeah I don't know what. terminal velocity is if you don't have. one. but [ __ ] parachutes Bro [ __ ] parachutes.

I'd like to try it one I can set it up. really you have the guy here oh yeah I. got guys hi you have to go I don't do it. you wouldn't consider it for a rush you. might not be able to you might be too. big too big yeah yeah I think there's a. number like a guy was just telling us. the other day on kill Tony that uh he. had to lose weight I think it was it for. was it for parachuting yeah I think you. there's a number to be a number yeah I. don't think you'd be like above 220 or. something like that parachute with a.

whole papa no and you have to have. someone on your back too the first time. you do it there's a person that's got to. do it with you oh [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] that. Joey Diaz [ __ ] that I'm sure it's. exciting I don't need that in my life my. life is exciting enough this is Travis. Pastrana this is a long time ago X Games. promo did he go into the net no so he is. he's like the crazy crazy guy jumps the. does all sorts of stuff Motocross but I.

don't know if you just noticed he jumped. out without a parachute he got nothing. there and he threw his can away except. the Red Bull but the Red Bull can is. going to hit someone in the [ __ ] head. and kill him I think it was empty yeah. if it's coming from space bro that Red. Bull can't could [ __ ] you up so someone. has to grab him he yeah he ends up it. looks like that's all they did is just. put his legs around him well no they. gave him a par no he's just strapped. he's just lock got locked on of that guy. oh and they they go all the way down and. he's like barely attached oh my God.

that's so. nuts I'm sure it's exciting but [ __ ]. that. right come on Joe every once in a while. you got to do something out of your. comfort ring yeah like today I went and. got you know I would have never dreamed. of that [ __ ] but it makes you a better. person you got to do little [ __ ] like. that I guess I don't know if you have to. do that that's not a little [ __ ] jumping. out of a [ __ ] plane with no parachute. that's not a little thing I mean you got. to [ __ ] get a rise out of something. after a while brother I think that's a.

big thing I would I would advise you not. doing that one no no no no but you know. you got to try [ __ ] I get it you know I. still remember going to Colorado when I. was 19 and people go do you want to go. ski and I go [ __ ]. you [ __ ] you [ __ ] you [ __ ] you I'm never. ski skiing this that you hurt you you. break your legs until I got up there Joe. I was so lonely on Christmas day I go. [ __ ] it let me go get some skis and go. up there really and it would change my. life and ever since that I'm like you.

know every once in a while listen it's. not going to work out it's not like I. can ski now in no [ __ ] way but at. least I got to do it thing about skiing. is everybody tries to go on harder. courses than you can control you have to. really learn how to dog you got to live. there or you got to go there it's like. anything else yeah you want to get good. at stand up you got to show up and do. the dance you gotta you gotta get Jitsu. whatever weightlifting whatever it's the. same thing well also there's a lot of. people that try skiing that don't do. anything else no and they the the worst.

thing is when people say to me I'm going. skiing they haven't done anything yeah. they haven't done anything first of all. you go to Aspen I used to be a [ __ ]. security [ __ ] driver up there okay. I'd see the people that would come in. the amount of alcohol the amount of [ __ ]. let me tell you what happens after one. day of skiing if you're not skiing. consistently bro you use muscles you. haven't used before I don't care how. many squats you do in kettle bells let's. go skiing just three times down a medium. Hill the next day you'll go [ __ ] this.

hurts in here my hamstrings hurt. different things hurt they use different. [ __ ] muscles when you ski so people. go up there dog that's not uh you got to. prepare for that [ __ ] but I lived in. snow MK so it was like going to a summer. camp I got to ski every day whether it. was two runs before work or three runs. after work so you get good you get used. to it The Falls become easier next thing. you know you're up there with no winter. jacket [ __ ] I don't need no [ __ ]. winter jacket this will do a hooded.

sweatshirt it's great do you ski without. a helmet there wasn't even helmets for. skiing when I was skiing this is 50. [ __ ] years ago you went up there you. know and then it was just something that. I never thought I would do like white. water rafting that [ __ ] is great up. there you know you go down from Aspen. all the way down to Glenwood Springs and. [ __ ] I loved all that crazy stuff yeah. you know that was but I don't like. camping cuz you can't wash your. [ __ ] okay I'm not going to sit with you.

in the tent for 4 days with a stinky. [ __ ] that ain't an adventure for me. if you want to go camping I'm like a. white camper I want to shower I want a. restaurant you know what I'm saying. there's something on the location and. there's there's those things but I. always want to like bungee jump one time. or. something something out of a plane just. something doesn't have to be you know. I've jumped off a cliff into water you. know 20. ft whatever but just to for somebody to.

say you could jump off that cliff in. Hawaii and land and you got 100 feet. under you nothing's going to happen to. you I [ __ ] try it you can if you [ __ ]. up you land wrong I know someone landed. on their ass they land on their ass. instead of straight and they [ __ ] their. back up no you're done you're done but. that's funny what you said before about. somebody throwing a can up in the guy is. going to kill some that Red Bull can. that that's 15,000 ft in the air dog I. almost got arrested when I was like 10. for almost killing the dude in Puerto.

Rico I went to Puerto Rico and my. parents my mom and the other parents. left us alone and went out and we. started throwing [ __ ] ice off the. balcony and [ __ ] and we kept on throwing. it and throwing it and next thing you. know I heard an ambulance and [ __ ]. cops were knocking on all the doors and. they [ __ ] they knew it was us the guy. was on the floor [ __ ] out guy with a. little [ __ ] Ice Cube from the sixth. floor. H yeah sixth floor Ice Cube hit you in. the head six [ __ ] floor that fracture.

your [ __ ] Skull Man I used to do so. many crazy things like that Joe when I. was on 88 Street when I was like six or. seven I would play with these kids there. was a 205 West 88 Street was on the. corner then there was a parking garage. it's still there and I would play in. there with the kids and then when I. would get a little bit of anxiety I. would go up to my apartment to my. bedroom and my mother used to have the. 45s from the record player at the bar. and she would give me the one she'd take. out and I'd go by the window and I just. throw them out and they would come out.

like Boomerang and come down and you. hear hey stop that and I just throw like. 50 of them out and you hear like the. kids going hey [ __ ] you they didn't know. it was me and then I would come back. what happened some [ __ ] up there. is throwing [ __ ] things on me one day. i k a kid with a thing but it didn't he. just fell down for a few minutes. another time there was a place when I. was growing up in North beran called. durest they just made light.

bulbs but they made the long fluorescent. ones you know how many times I hit the. head with those we would jump in that. dumpster and take all the fluorescent. bulbs out and light bulbs and just hit. each other with that that dust that. comes out of a [ __ ] fluorescent light. bulb in the 70s oh my God D we would. have those light bulb Wars all the time. and then we started having them from the. roofs and people would throw light light. bulbs up at us and we would throw light. bulbs back and I would put the light. bulbs on the floor and then that have we. call them Spears you know the the.

[ __ ] we throw the [ __ ] long. fluorescent lights at them one day I. picked up a light bulb I didn't know I. picked up a rock with that [ __ ]. and I just threw it at the kid atin the. kids looking right at me and I saw that. rock just go and he just went backwards. now this was a pervert kid his name was. Ali him and his brother like we were 10. or 12 and him and his brother were going. to Hooker houses his father would take. him oh my God in the city when he was. like 10 11 he would come back and tell. us they washed our dick it was. tremendous I hit that kid in the head so.

hard with that rock without knowing it. wasn't No Malice intended but when I got. down there the lump had gone up off his. head like one of those fights when the. guy has a lump a tumor and it had like a. little pimple with blood in it it was. already filled up dog and it had ice on. his head I felt so bad I was giggling. inside but you feel [ __ ] bad when you. do that [ __ ] his dad took him to a. brothel when he was 10 every weekend. they were Cuban the Ali Brothers Juan. and Carlos Ali Juan was the brains of.

the operation Carlos was a little bit on. the slow brother he was like the Lenny. of the Squiggy how crazy is it taking a. 10-year-old to a bro bro they were going. every weekend into the city sixth grade. seventh grade Jesus Christ telling us. about all the stories oh my God on. [ __ ]. Mondays oh my God bro we grew up with. some pieces of work not these kids. growing up today where people didn't do. anything with them you know I look at my. daughter her little friends it's not. going to be good for them it's going to.

be weird that's for sure it's not going. to be good for them it's going to be. weird it's going to be a completely. different world I try to but you know. you try the hardest and you talk to them. and [ __ ] yeah and that's the best you. could do but the world they're going to. grow up in is completely different than. our [ __ ] completely different you. know and it's so weird that I had the I. had a shitty childhood family wise but. everything else was [ __ ] Aces with me. bro I laughed my ass off I had a great. time these kids they don't you know one. of the kids we took to the city for.

Jingle Bells told me I never came into. New York City before she had never seen. a cab before. wow never saw a cab it's only an hour. away hour away 55 [ __ ] minutes you. know different world Jersey is. completely different world people have. this idea that New Jersey is like real. similar to New York like the Bronx or. something like that New Jersey is very. rural very rural found out let's let's. have young Jamie check it yeah Jamie. where's the most horses in the United.

States equestrian. state if that's New Jersey that's. nuts that's [ __ ]. crazy listen bro Jersey has Newark Bon. and boy don't get me wrong you'll get. [ __ ] killed in new Camden pens you. know Jersey City's getting bad North. bergan's not all good you know they just. had a couple murders in Hoboken it's not. New York City per se but action it has. cities actions still [ __ ] happen. there's cities but it's it's a lot.

bigger than people think it is what's. that New Jersey F bro I'm in shock yeah. I'm in shock how big it is I never. [ __ ] knew to that people think it's. real little you drive through it real. quick and then next thing you know. you're in Philadelphia no that's only. one way like if you look at the the. entirety of the state and how much of it. is actual. rural you know New Jersey has the most. horses per capita 10 horses per 1,000. people what I tell you wow I I thought. if you thought I knew that I I think it.

Kentucky you know you know what also. they have what the highest population of. black bears who New Jersey New Jersey. yeah but that's up north dog and they. don't [ __ ] around up there R be yeah. they're down south too I haven't heard. they're near ruter my one of the. students from ruter got killed by a bear. my daughter said she saw a bear one day. and we were driving a little bear. yeah you know who knows oh they're there. Joey Far Rock Away there's videos of. them in Far Rockway like fighting on. this street it's crazy these giant bears.

they're so big and they're fighting over. like garbage cans they're knocking each. other over they topple down into a. [ __ ] uh mailbox they're out into the. street this guy sitting in his car. filming these like 400lb Bears going a. war with each other in the middle of a. like a crowded suburb cars are. stopped you ever seen seen this no F. find that video the video is [ __ ]. bananas because you're looking at these. giant predators that are fighting each.

other over territory in the middle of. people's cities and these people aren't. freaking out they've just decided and. this is like before they stopped the. bear hunt when the when the new governor. got into place one of the things he was. running on was he's going to stop bear. hunting and he got in and he did he. stopped bear hunting they restarted it. yeah they restart after a couple years. they're like okay yeah you're it got the. population got out of control for a. while it was already out of control you. don't know what the [ __ ] you're doing. like look at these two Joe I mean this. is someone's [ __ ] yard look at the. size of these.

[ __ ] and they're just duking it out. in front of a. mailbox while this guy's car is parked I. mean this is nuts man fighting over a. fighting over a. female look at all the further pulling. off of each other I mean that's in New. Jersey you know that's not Montana. that's New Jersey crazy New Jersey has. the highest numbers of black bear per. capita are they bad they're not good. it's not good not good to have that many.

of them it kills everything they'll kill. small dogs they'll they'll kill your. deer population they'll they'll kill a. lot of the things that you like they're. going to cannibalize each other for sure. if they get to certain numbers they they. already do that the males already kill. Cubs they're monsters they're [ __ ]. monsters they're not Teddy Bears I mean. they're cool it's nice to have it's nice. as they exist I I wouldn't want to. eradicate them but you have to keep them. in control now do you know that I'm. closer to Philly than I am to Atlantic. City yeah I'm 44 minutes from Philly.

yeah and I'm an hour five nah an hour. you should do a residency in Philly no. that's the move think that's what I'm. thinking that's the move I love Philly. Philly's awesome bro I go to basketball. games I go to baseball games there in. Philly I had a [ __ ] great time yeah. you could just do a couple days a week. in Philly if you wanted last time I went. to Philly I went with a bunch of kids. and their parents you know and I look. over in Philadelphia and I swear to God. again there's no hate for me I see two.

guys SWA and spit in the chair I didn't. say a word I go I wonder how long this. is going to. last bro they don't play in Philly they. say [ __ ] to you what were they saying to. these. guys not good. things get the [ __ ] out of the seats. there's kids around here you wow nasty. [ __ ] this one black dud was. going off wow off you know another time. I saw I went to a game I don't know what. I saw and they just don't play in Philly.

a baseball that's a bold move to do that. in a sports Philadelphia is a little. [ __ ] rough bro I remember one time I. did a show in Philly I didn't even go on. when I finished I just jumped into the. audience there was no sense of going in. the back cuz they weren't going to have. it they were going to kick that door. down there was no sense of me going in. the back they weren't going to be I just. jumped on to the audience they caught me. and it was just do whatever you need to. do you guys are [ __ ]. great yeah Philly's a fun.

city it was always a good place to go. through always a good place for pool too. think about the things that come out of. Philly a lot of boxers a lot of pool. players it was always good pool halls in. Philly they still have a lot of them. yeah Fusco still has a. place Jimmy Fusco or was it Jimmy or. Pete about um one of those guys who was. a top level pool player had a place in. uh see if you find it f. Us's pool hall I know I played there.

with uh I'm pretty sure I played there. with Tommy bro he took me to the cop I. know from nework took me to a a place. one night to see where some uh Jackie. gleon used to do comedy there really. [ __ ] yeah it's still there some bar it's. like [ __ ] they renovate it here. fusco's the spot yeah which Fusco owns. that does it. say Jimmy Fusco died okay scroll up it.

said he died. 2017 yeah but great great [ __ ] old. school pool hall real pool hall it's. just how crazy that area how much you. know it's like I finally watched the. show cuz I read a book and then I said. let me watch the show uh Boardwalk. Empire M I don't know if you ever. watched them that whatever I watched a. little bit of it it's good very. interesting yeah cuz very interesting it. went it took the history Atlantic City.

and then the last two seasons it touched. on The Hags and The Hags were like. [ __ ] huge and that's where I went for. my surgery one time when I was a kid. Margaret he no no no no that's where you. gave birth to kids that's I went to. Christ Hospital Margaret ha was a a. hospital in Jersey City and were all. related so I just followed that and I. just started reading all that. Philadelphia [ __ ] like there's a town by. me called Highland Highland New Jersey.

they just built a ferry to take you from. Highland to New York City that's where. [ __ ] veto genev lived I didn't know. this [ __ ] like that all those towns have. a rich [ __ ] history of just. everything pool you know gangsters. [ __ ] food the [ __ ] food down in. Jersey now. is [ __ ] tremendous Joe. yeah it's different kind of food that. East Coast Italian food that's different. but everybody has a different type of. East Co like if you go to Ono mhm they.

got the nice chicken they got the pasta. the steaks and that's that place I go to. another place I just go there for the. [ __ ] uh I go to Asteria just for the. what do you like the the beans with with. the grass the lettuce not pastaz the. other one escarole and beans okay. there's times I work out and I just go. straight there water with lemon and a. bowl of escarole soup with beans and. they put little bits of [ __ ] Pudo in.

there or that ham or something oh my God. Joe I don't even need the [ __ ] sauce. and the spaghetti no more I'm on to a. different and my neighbor out of all. those restaurants bro they're all great. but my neighbor Jodie POA probably out. Cooks all those [ __ ] really. yeah Jodie Puma is the baddest. [ __ ] I know she don't cook much. she works in the city I got to go over. there and torture her and say Jody what. the [ __ ] I'm in the mve for bolanz or. something off the chain bro off the. chain you know there used to be a lot of.

good places near White Plains and then. you went to that sandwich place he gave. you a shout out the other day oh yeah g. r Deli yeah that place is great that. sandwich was [ __ ] huge I can't eat. those no more Joe you can eat it once. what you do is you just don't eat. anything that day I can't bro wet Ms I. love wet MS but you got to give it a. [ __ ] oh my God you can't eat that. there's a place that what gets a place I. go to the same Asteria when they bring. the wet MZ you just put black pepper on.

it Jesus Christ Jo little bit of olive. oil me and Vic went one time and we got. that we me and like oh my God the cheese. tastes so good but that [ __ ] I used to. eat like. Pudo on mozzarel with a [ __ ] I can't. do that no more no too much of a. sandwich man well have you what have you. what have you done like if when you. tried to manipulate your diet I know you. did Weight Watches for a. while and you lost a bunch of weight but.

then like have you ever tried different. kinds of diets have you ever tried like. keto or low car I would do the keto but. I can't eat that much meat in a day I. could like this morning I got three. pieces of bacon I ate to you know. something what about eggs do you eat. eggs yeah like a [ __ ] well if. you if you wanted to try something that. would help you lose weight just. eliminate all the sugar and bread just. eliminate all that stuff just eat only. things that are either like vegetables.

or meat just only that I've been working. a lot on fasting yeah it took me a while. how long do you do I could eat at 7 and. then not eat lunch till. 4: I'm down to two meals a day in a. protein shake that's what I'm down to. right now I don't eat that lunch was. huge when your plate came I was like I. hope that's not my [ __ ] plate I hope. even though those ribs look [ __ ]. killer they're good tremendous I I can't. I can't do it no more I could get a like.

an 8 oz 10 o steak mhm now that's the. most meat I could eat at night you know. today I had turkey and the brisket it. was [ __ ] delicious I eat avocado. toast for breakfast three eggs avocado. toast and a fruit bowl that's my. breakfast dog that's good that that's a. good start that's a good way to get. going that's a uh in my world that's. great yeah where I come from yeah six. eggs white bread a stick of butter and a. pack of bacon and then an hour after.

that go to McDonald's before 11: yeah. that's a I'd say that's a big [ __ ]. change my friend yeah it's a big change. that's a big change the big one is if. you can just cut the [ __ ] out. instead of the avocado toast D go with. something else just cut that bread out. that that'll help you a lot I like avoc. I eat avocado without the bread good eat. the avocado the avocado's great for you. but it's just bread is just never good. for not good and that's why I say with. now they're making these sandwiches bro. and in Jersey they're like this it's a. [ __ ] WETM chicken cutlet you know.

something else and you know Jo smash it. together you can barely get your M that. [ __ ] simina bread MH I'll stab three. [ __ ] for that that [ __ ] is good. and that's the one thing though Staten. Island [ __ ] did not help my. area cuz they brought some serious food. into Jersey yeah and I mean serious. there's a deli in Staten Island called. raw. Crown jogan they're chocolate.

bread when people the lady brings them. thank God they're not in my [ __ ]. chocolate bread chocolate Italian bread. what is that what I just say it's. Italian bread with little pieces of. chocolate in it all through the bread. and then they have Pudo bread and they. have mozzarel bread and they have wow. dog my neighbor one night I was in the. basement getting high by myself and I'm. like man I could eat something and I. something made me go outside and I saw a. loaf of bread I'm like go what the [ __ ].

is this I brought in said Joey a. chocolate bread from Staten Island my. mother brought it for you I brought it. in the house I took a bite of that. [ __ ] holy [ __ ] she goes did you. like it I go I [ __ ] like it it was. [ __ ] tremendous chocolate bread Pudo. bread oh my God look at that look at. this [ __ ] Y and listen I do it like one. piece but you're supposed to get that. cut it and then put put it in the oven. then put toast uh yeah a nice piece of. chocolate yeah that's me look at that.

[ __ ] Italian bread with. chocolate in it so you want to tell me. how hard it is to be me nervous just. hearing that you want to tell me how. hard it is to be me and you're supposed. to cut it and put butter on it I just. cut a piece and eat it and give the rest. of my daughter and my wife I got to get. out of here I would eat that whole. [ __ ] for sure dog yeah dog it. when you walk into Royal Crown they have. a section just for. Mortadella what they could do with.

Mortadella that's when you know you have. a problem then they just move down the. line if you want Capa call or everything. is to kill you but it's [ __ ]. delicious but it's [ __ ]. delicious yeah they don't have any of. that out here like that kind of an. Italian deli yet not enough Italian yeah. you know if those guys from G&R Deli. opened up a shop out here they'd [ __ ]. kill it they made those same sandwiches. out here and they import a lot of their. [ __ ] from Italy anyway but look at raos. just opened in Vegas what is that rails.

just opened in Vegas rails like the. famous restaurant from New York rails r. o s yeah they had one in La yeah you. could do it in Vegas for sure but they. opened up in Vegas you know uh people. are spreading out so that's they did. they just opened up a um uh Peter. Luger's in Vegas yes what it was I'm. sorry it was Peter lugan oh yeah that's. a big deal that that place is the [ __ ]. if I'm ever in Brooklyn I'm eating at. Peter lugers I always go that place.

rules last time I went I went with Ari. caught a four o00 [ __ ] dinner. reservation let's do it let's do it that. place is great they got a bad review in. like the New York Times or something. like that me and Ari had just gone there. and we were like what the [ __ ] are they. talking about it was. fantastic it was so good the steak comes. over it's crackling the Butter's. dripping all over it you take a slice of. it you're like it's perfect it's a. perfect steak and you're getting the.

smell from the plate the plates coming. out of the oven where they finish it you. like a don't touch the plate it's hot. okay it's [ __ ] amazing amazing that. place it's right there it's easy to get. i' rather go there them there's a video. uh like a documentary on how they pick. their cattle and how they there's like a. VI. documentary on steak and the Peter Luger. part is like a big part of it because. these people are trying to figure out. why the [ __ ] are these steaks so good. like people from other countries were. coming to study how Peter Luger's making.

their. Stakes yeah that [ __ ] place is. tremendous so this is a they take you. through the entire step like how much. they age it what they do and then you go. to how they treat it so they get it down. to the size and they trim it I mean they. they've been doing this [ __ ] for a 100. years Peter Luger's is from the 1800s I. think like when did that place open who. showed us that they had a credit card. from Peter Luger I don't know somebody. we hung out they're dead see look they.

just put salt on it that's it and they. get it in one of those broilers so they. have those broilers where the flame is. above the steak you know so it's not. like direct heat on the steak where the. fat is dripping down you get flare ups. no the flame is above the steak and then. they flip it and then they slice it up. and then they put it on a plate and then. once they slice it up and put it on a. plate then they put it in the oven and. they finish it in the oven and oh my. goodness dude see they do it like that.

they put it on a plate finish that. [ __ ] in the when they pull that. [ __ ] out it's. just so that's her right now setting it. up and then they bring it out to these. people look at that they put the. drippings on there come on son come on. on. Sensational should we get out of here. you done no no I was just looking at my. daughter sent me a picture her [ __ ]. uh.

sledding is it snow in New Jersey right. now [ __ ] 6:00 in the morning when I woke. up this morning I already had a notice. that they closed school school was. supposed to be a half day but it started. snowing at 6:00 in the [ __ ] morning. and they went to it's still snowing bro. I love snow days when I was a kid they. were the best that's when you hustled. that's when we made money you made money. but you also you get to St home you look. out the window you're like [ __ ] yeah no. school I ain't doing that turn paper. tonight and [ __ ] yeah get the [ __ ] away. from me because they wouldn't now they.

tell you the the day before online now. you'd have to do your homework online. these kids they tell you the day before. there's no action with us we had to wait. till like 11:30 then you got a call from. somebody hey my dad just heard they're. going to cancel school so [ __ ] that turn. paper all right those are the best you. get a call from people you know dude. school's canceled [ __ ] yes how do you. know because my dad just. you had to take people's word for it. there was times where we thought school. was canceled it wasn't like are they. [ __ ] serious and then you feel like. for sure they're going to cancel look at.

the snow they're going to cancel like. and then the snow stops and like. school's still on like you mother yeah. but there was a lot of days when we grew. up where it snowed but they didn't give. a [ __ ] you were going to school it had. to be bad it had to be bad now they just. get the thread of snow and yeah it's. canceled and you wake up the next day. and there's an inch and you're like what. the [ __ ] these people do roll that joint. in front of the microphone so you can. hear cuz I can't hear you oh I'm sorry. that's there you.

go no so that's the problem that you do. you ever roll blunts or do you only roll. joints you know I got a pneumonia last. summer did you yeah that's why I have a. hard time breathing now how'd you get. pneumonia pneum I had no [ __ ] idea. pneumonia rather pneumonia I Joe. everything was going great yeah what. happened something oh I was getting. shortness of breath the [ __ ] so I went. to the doctor first they told me I had a. kidney. stone then I went and got a scan for the.

kidney stone there was no kidney stone. but they saw something else and they. made me go for a lung. X-ray and at the lung X-ray is where. they [ __ ] were like you got a [ __ ]. pneumonia I didn't know it took like. three weeks to find out bro I couldn't. walk to my mailbox Joe I'd walk to my. mailbox and I'd be huffing and [ __ ]. puffing how'd you uh get it rid of it. the blunts no that's oh the blunts were. giving it to you how many blunts were. you smoking two but that's not I'm not a.

cigar guy I'm the only Cuban I'm looking. at your [ __ ] cigar collection yeah. before and I'm like I'm the only [ __ ]. Cuban that has no I love a cigar I like. Ron White gave me these little ones. these are little cigars so if you don't. want to have a whole cigar you just want. a little. puff it's little Monty kristos. and those are really good too yeah those. are the best oh yeah it's good it's good. tobacco but it's so that you don't have. to finish the cigar you just want a. little puff those [ __ ] cigars are too. big they get me dizzy so it it's just a.

little puff I don't know I something was. just bothering me and I what else can I. be doing yeah that's not good for you. you know I would love for you to get. healthier and I know at one point in. time like I said you'd lost a lot of. weight you lost what did you lose I mean. you must have lost close to 80 lbs yeah. would lose at one point in. time I started at 4 something but. there's one time with the Weight. Watchers time where it was pretty. quickly it was over like a period of 10.

months everybody was like look how good. Joey looks yeah and dog I still look. good don't get confused [ __ ] for. 60 I still look [ __ ]. good I should have looked like aie. Osborne right now you've had a rough 60. I mean you about 60 you put some [ __ ]. miles on your wheels it was 60 you know. I didn't know what my life was about. till I read that [ __ ] till I wrote that. book and then I read it and I was like I. got to take a. breather yeah you've had an. extraordinary life my friend and that's.

why when I moved to Jersey I said you. know what man it's time for me just to. chill for a while I wanted to get out of. the train of thought I had a comedy mhm. that old mentality I had I wanted to. give that a breathe I couldn't get away. from it I couldn't get away from it so. for once I wanted to start fresh man I I. looked at it what I needed to do no. everybody kept asking me did you quit. comedy I no no I'm just taking a [ __ ]. breather there's nothing wrong with. taking a breather just taking a [ __ ]. extended breather I want to know what. the [ __ ] happened the last 40 years is.

that okay I started this journey in 1983. and all a sudden 2020 I'm at the store. with a bunch of [ __ ] Killers I wasn't. pre-programmed for this I was. pre-programmed to be in jail by now what. am I doing at the store with a bunch of. [ __ ] Killers doing comedy and they're. talking to me and we're laughing it's. not like I didn't earn it it's not like. my mother owned the [ __ ] joint and. she just gave me a spot there we earned. those things you know what the [ __ ]. happened I was a guy that was in prison. they told me it's not going to work out.

for you and here we are today so I had. to go process this [ __ ] you know I had. to go process a lot of [ __ ] things. you know when I was a kid when my mother. died I had to lie to myself Joe right in. front of right right in front of your. thing no look look right in front of oh. [ __ ] sorry I got no glasses you know. when I was a kid I had a lie to myself. yeah when my mother died I had to say. she's just leaving for a couple. years that's the only way I could deal. with it she's just going away for a. couple years I'll bump into her in a.

couple years I'll bump into her in a. couple years when I went back to Jersey. dog it hit me like I lied to myself all. those [ __ ] years yeah it's just a. coping mechanism right it was a coping. mechanism I used just to to soothe my. [ __ ] soul yeah I got back to Jersey I. went up to the cemetery one day and I go. what the [ __ ] is this she never came. back and I was like pissed about it like. [ __ ] like she never made a comeback. and I'm like Joey what the [ __ ] did you. do you buried yourself in that [ __ ] that.

she was G to you were going to bump into. her one day on Bergen Line Avenue or. some [ __ ] you know yeah so that was hard. you know a lot of things it's good to. take a break off comedy just to really. try to figure out what your actual. perspective really is listen bro I was. in an environment that I I don't thrive. in I was in an environment with a lot of. fake [ __ ] I was in an. environment where I did time I grew up. around people who were very dangerous. the people I was around in La were more. dangerous because I knew where I standed.

with these other people right with these. people in La these agents and you don't. know where you stand yeah you have no. [ __ ]. idea well you kind of know what they are. you know what they are you know it's. like that's that old Mike Tyson. expression it's okay to have a snake in. the room as long as you keep the lights. on you know what they are you know you. just have to know who you are and I. think you were coming from this place. where you almost felt like you didn't. belong you know and I remember when I. first met.

you that was uh Joey criminal days it. was fun man CU I remember I met you and. I was like oh finally there someone like. people that I used to know like you were. like the first guy that I ran into like. oh this is like Joey from the Pooh Hall. this is like Joey from the boxing gym. this is like you were like the people. that I knew from the East Coast the wild. people that were fun you know and and. you know people didn't like you people. were scared of you I was like that guy's. great I mean it's kind of funny over the.

years because I had arguments with. agents about you they're like he doesn't. have any Talent like you're out of your. [ __ ] mind I'm like you're out of your. mind I go I know what comedy is and he. makes me laugh harder than anybody I've. ever seen so he's wild and crazy yeah. that's what you get that's the kind of. person that that does that kind of. Comedy stupid you don't even know what. you sell you're out here selling comedy. you don't even know how it's created. it's created by wild people whether it's. wild intellectually wild physically they. just different group of people that are.

going to create something that's going. to make you laugh that hard you know man. it was [ __ ] crazy those first couple. years there and how people would look at. me I remember one day an agent stole a. check from me and I said I'm going to. come down and get it when I got there. the door was shut and he stuck he stuck. the check on the [ __ ] wall and said. don't come in here then 10 years later. he signed me again I bumped into him at. a vet place and we were talking he goes. I come back that's funny I had a hard. time there for well you were raw man you. were a raw dude got to be you reminded.

me a lot of my friend Johnny you know. cuz Johnny was like you he was like a. brilliant guy that struggled with. substances brilliant guy Johnny was like. one of the smartest people I'd ever met. he was a pool Hustler and so like I. didn't know anybody like like just such. a just a dangerous dude. just always doing wild [ __ ] and I didn't. know anybody like that over here till I. met you and then I met you I was like oh. all right because in comedy you're you. we were getting a lot of people that.

were essentially auditioning for sitcoms. they just what they wanted to do is. figure out a way to. transfer what they're doing on stage. into a lucrative sitcom everybody wanted. that that was the Golden Ring everybody. wanted the. sitcom and everybody wanted a. development deal so a lot of guys really. only had 105 minutes and that 15 minutes. was just them sort of like setting up. their their life for sitcom it was. almost like they they told you where. they were from you know I was born in. Brooklyn New York and this and that and.

they were basically like doing an. audition for a sitcom on stage we. weren't doing that we were doing a. different thing we were doing a. different we were doing what we were. doing what our Idols were doing we were. doing what prior did we were doing what. kenneson did we were trying to find our. path with what we think I didn't. appreciate that when people said you. have to present the set on stage that. the agents could see a network TV show. what what are you talking about I'm. going to tell you something else too. when I get this residency or when I. start kicking with gas with comedy again. not podcasting no more how come never.

again I'm ending this career as a. standup but but you can do both I don't. want to do both you don't like it I want. to end this career as a [ __ ] standup. but you are a standup no this all all. this other [ __ ] ads and all this [ __ ] no. ads let's do the last two years is yeah. [ __ ] stand up [ __ ] that's. why I want to do the residency that's. why cuz I'm ready just to do standup my. phone ain't ringing for acting listen.

you just come here and do podcast. anytime you get a podcast yeah yeah no. always and if you want to stay here and. do a residency here you could do that. too absolutely I was going to talk to. you about it maybe come once 100% bro do. that little boy room that room is I. heard it's [ __ ] tremendous It's Magic. Jim. florentines loves that room that room's. magic It's Magic it's a magic little. room and that room tells you what's real. and what's what sucks like the o yeah. just like the O like the O it's like a. little bit of the o and a little bit of. the belly room like it's like the belly.

room had sex with the O and it created. the little boy and then the main room. had sex with the O and created the big. boy or fat. man the big room is like a combination. of the main room in the O it's just. intimate enough but also big enough and. big laughs what's the main room it 250. and uh 110 the that's it that's it. that's why it's [ __ ] tremendous oh. it's so good dude see now a greedy.

[ __ ] would have made that room. 400 seats like some other club chains. and [ __ ] 400 seats we got to sell. tickets the whole setup from the very. beginning of this club was never to make. money it was always I if I can break. even I'm happy I want to make the best. environment for developing standup. comedy for both professionals and for. amateurs and the best place for people. to see it where they can see like. worldclass people coming in every. weekend like this weekend is Joe D Roa.

he's there tonight and tomorrow we you. know we've had Louis CK is the one that. helped me design the place Dave. Chappelle came by the first week we have. Shane Gillis there all the time Ron. White's there all the time Brian. Simpson's there all the time it's just. killer after killer after killer kill. Tony's there every Monday night I mean. we got it we got it cooking exactly at. the right temperature it's perfect the. environment is super positive. everybody's doing really well all the. door people are doing really well. everybody's killing it now who's in the.

main room tonight tonight's Joe D Roa. and who's in the little room that's a. good question but you could do a set. 100% they already said if you want to do. a set come on down I'm going see what's. going on because like a bunch of people. stopped by Tony henchcliffe will do a. set He he'll stop by and do sets people. are dropping in all the time like. Giannis papus came up last night Paulie. sha was there Tuesday night Paulie's. killing it Paulie's killing it Paulie's. loose and silly and having fun now fun. he's having dude he came and he was on. in the on the stage in the little boy.

and he came off stage and I grabbed him. I go dude that is as funny as I've seen. you in a decade I go that was so good. and he was like you see me at the store. and I'm tense there he goes it's just. like cuz it was such a part of my. childhood and you know they kind of. pushed him out did you see this little. thing yeah oh he's playing Richard. Simmons right yeah so they they. announced that he's going to be in a. full movie but they also put out at the. same time this little short which is. interesting it's only a minute long Paul. he's a different dude now it's cool to.

see he's he's a sweet guy he's fun to be. around he's a sweet guy I checked him. with. him your way doesn't matter if you like. yourself you're going to be. fine but I've been where you are right. now this keep from a meme online that's. hilarious I know I just love myself. every part of myself and I think I can. show you how to get. here welcome.

Richard I think that's it for this wow. so it's going to be a real movie yeah he. does look like him he looks a lot like. him yeah he does look Paulie can [ __ ]. act Paulie can act I know he's done like. the silly movies like in Ceno manage. [ __ ] but you give him an opportunity to. do something like that a lot of comics. act bro he's been around this game. forever 50 [ __ ] years forever he has. it all covered yeah he's saw him coming. he's seen what happened to them it's.

also he's evolved as a person he's like. a fun person to be around now Co very. cool and he's really comfortable at the. club he's been at the club a ton of. times did a weekend there recently and. he was just there Tuesday he was there. Wednesday doing the little room and the. big room he's having a good time man. he's he's like loose now now like he did. Kill Tony on Monday night he sang a song. he sang Bad to the. Bone it's fun were you laugh yeah I was. there I brought uh Matt uh lenberg okay.

down to uh kill Tony so I could check it. out we went to dinner then I took him to. the club Monday night special there. that's a special show man Harland. Williams was on fire oh my God Haren was. there last weekend and he was he was. there for kill Tony on Monday he was on. fire he was on fire it's amazing it's. just the vibe of the club is so fun I'm. really proud of Tony and red band for. what they did dude they sold out Madison. Square Garden two nights in a row they.

sold out the HB Center here two nights. in a row they they sold out big Arenas. all they're going to sell they sell out. in Los Angeles they sold out a 7,000. seat theater in an hour it's crazy it's. crazy they're killing it they're killing. it and that show is different every. night every night you can go to two. shows in a row you're not going to see. the same show it's a totally different. show so like you know they can come into. a town and do three four nights easy. easy easy that's really crazy the.

[ __ ] Garden yeah the garden it's. amazing two nights in a [ __ ] BR I. still remember Tony telling me this 10. years ago eight years ago that this is. what he wanted to do so kudos to him. brother he is the best at hosting that. kind of a show nobody better he's the. [ __ ] best he's the best ever at it. he's so quick and he's such a mean. little [ __ ] he's a mean little [ __ ] he's. a mean little [ __ ] but he's also super. supportive if you're good you know and. it it's a great platform for standup.

because there's no woke [ __ ] there's. no ideology there's no [ __ ] playing. and pandering you got one minute you got. one minute one minute the currency is. funny what can can you be funny in a. minute it doesn't matter if you're white. or you're black or you're trans or. you're gay or you're straight or you're. no one gives a [ __ ] are you funny you. have one minute and they take everybody. anybody out of out of that [ __ ] hat.

you can't bribe your way into that hat. people have tried I've seen it I've seen. people say listen can you get my my. banker once to come Tony's like nope. nope I don't care who is asking me. Donald Trump could ask me like nope nope. that [ __ ] that's that's a holy bucket. that bucket is 100% Rando. dig in there Bob Wilson and Bob Wilson. comes out and he had no idea he's coming. out and like and you see those people. and they do one minute and the band's. there and the audience is there and like.

some of them it's their first time ever. doing standup could you do a minute no. could I yeah I could I have never we did. three to get into the store yeah I had. to do three then 10 then she made me. yeah but it was three how long did you. it take for you to get in dog I broke. the record yeah how long I got to La. January. 29th of 1997 and I was a regular. February 19th 1997 wow that's pretty.

quick that's quick I didn't have to lick. nobody's balls or nothing Stan hope I'm. going tell you who referred me Stan hope. Mia and somebody else I forget who it. was and Scott called me and he goes I've. heard good things about you I'm going to. Showcase you but it's going to be in. about 6 months and I knowing me and my. criminal I go 6 months I don't even know. if I'm make this six months and he goes.

okay you got a showcase we'll let you. know when two weeks later he called me. and he goes I got a three minute spot. that opened up you want to come down. tonight yeah came down there was. petrified to. mity she watched you first set first set. watched me came off shook a hand thank. you for the opportunity I thought it was. going to pass out wow I thought it was. going to pass out because in my mind it. was this while I was going back to being. a criminal well what she liked about. guys like you though is that you were.

raw yeah she liked raw people with. talent that was her favorite thing she. didn't like people when they had already. made it she didn't like she told. Seinfeld this place is not for you. Seinfeld was too big already she's like. nah place not for you she's a wild lady. man in that regard and that's what I do. whenever I miss her I think about I call. Paul. whenever I think of Missy I call Paulie. Paulie I'm thinking about your mom. brother it's fun being in the bar. downstairs that's named after his mom so. we're in mits and there's a photo of.

mity just like that like that painting. that we have in the wall in here she. saved my life brother she saved a lot of. lives I had no chance of being an adult. no chance ever doing anything in my life. no chance until I walked into that. [ __ ] comedy club and she made me a. regular and when I went back the next. week and I had 10 minutes and she was. like you're a regular call in Monday for. spots dog I didn't know what to do yeah. but I knew that if I kept my nose clean. but I knew I only have like a year or.

two before something happens I hit. somebody with a chair or I steal. something you know that was my Mo yeah. but her putting me in there made me go. okay you know let's and it was me. Holzman you you know we had some [ __ ]. Savages there in the beginning but if. you really think about my life I got all. the great things out of my life from The. Comedy Store everything my daughter. everything our friendship everything. what didn't I get from The Comedy Store. we had a family there I got a life man.

yeah it was a it was a very special. place for all of us you know I look at. the pictures at night cuz they post them. on Facebook of the club the mothership. from the night before and they show. the not when they show you [ __ ] Momos. on stage but when they show the staff. working there when I see that young. young staff I remember the great times. we had on New Year's Eve yeah and. Christmas and it was a family gave a. [ __ ] about a Christmas tree when you're. a regular at the store you know what I'm.

saying who wasn't at theore and now they. close on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. yeah but I still remember having a spot. on Christmas Day and going people like. what type of animal are you [ __ ] it's. Comedy Store we both did spots on. Christmas Day I family I always did. spots on christas dog I ate a bag of. mushrooms once on Thanksgiving and one. there and the [ __ ] purple lights had. me I mean you know I don't know how many. sets I did in the original room but now. looking at it if it wasn't for MIT Shaw. because I would have left in six months.

and my job was my goal at that time is. if I fail in La I'm driving back I'm. going to make a pit stop I'm going to. stab a few people in Colorado and then. I'm going back to New York to hide that. was my plan that was my plan if failure. would have came in LA and I would have. got thrown out of there well I remember. when you crack the code and you're a guy. that I've always said you were the. funniest guy in the parking lot and. there was something that was missing in. Translation between you being the funny.

guy in the parking lot and you being the. guy on stage and you just figured it out. one day it's like one day he figured it. out it was very interesting becoming. yourself yeah because you were like. trying to do jokes before you were like. trying to do stand up the way standups. do jokes and something happen happened I. think it was like a certain level of I. don't give a [ __ ] anymore like where too. many agents had lied to you too many. auditions had fell through too many this. too many that and you're like what am I. trying to make these people happy for.

and you just were yourself on stage like. you almost like giving up hope of the. the the [ __ ] act Golden Ring the ACT. what you know I never understood writing. [ __ ] that had nothing to do with you. right you got to write [ __ ] that's close. to your [ __ ] heart and your balls. right yeah you want to want I always. wanted to be [ __ ] somebody else. sometimes I wish I wasn't dirty I wish I. was a better joke writer I wish so many. things but what I was doing a lot of. those guys that are straight traditional.

standup wish they were doing that guy. that we keep forgetting with the. dreadlocks AJ Jamal JJ Jamal AJ Jamal. that was it just let's look him up let's. see where he's at yeah that dude was. funny AJ Jamal and I remember that dude. he used to bother you cuz he was so. there he is he used to bother you that. he was so funny. clean he's still wow he's only got 1,400. followers that's crazy what was his last.

post funny [ __ ] dude though and great. no no no I mean his last post on. Instagram and great [ __ ] guy that's. not really his I don't know I looking. for yeah that's him this over two years. ago oh wow over two years ago great guy. great guy I not that I didn't like him. no no no no no you were just it bothered. you that he was so clean that you. weren't clean it made you self-conscious. I remember you used to tell me about. that I hated going on on after that guy. he would bury me he would kill and he he. would bury me him and D Herrera made a.

habit of burying me and Dom made a habit. of rubbing it in my face afterward Dom. was brutal to me in those days yeah but. he was just being D yeah no he was being. a [ __ ] great you know no but being. funny I not not that I didn't like I. just thought that how the [ __ ] is. somebody this clean and right technical. right so [ __ ] good he very technical he. was like if it was Jiu-Jitsu you got to. hold under the elbow he would be right. there with that elbow not an inch up not. an inch down yep he just knew his.

boundaries and that's what I always. wanted to be yeah but I became after a. while it was what I became in that. original room yeah you became yourself. that's what happened I remember the day. Joey I remember like one night where you. on stage murdering and I was in the back. with everybody over by the stairs and. then someone goes yo Jo is murdering and. we went into the back and you were on. stage you were just going some cocaine. story you were going off and people were. dying no you had they could believe what. you were saying it was so funny dog I.

remember one night I was on a roll you. were back there with a bunch of people. and I said that I used to date a girl. and a [ __ ] look like Eddie M's teddy. bear Wolfie. D like when that [ __ ] started coming out. of me was when I yes like I was so. [ __ ] fed up with the. the [ __ ] just the [ __ ] just and. number one on stage you got to be. yourself we were talking about him. earlier he was never really a. traditional standup he did all this. crazy stuff in his actor and that's uh.

Paul Mooney yes you know where Bill. Hicks I love Bill Hicks Bill Hicks had. that stand upy but he also threw. something in there yeah you know it just. wasn't line social commentary yeah it. wasn't set up punchline so I wanted to. be somewhere in between. that that's where I ended up at I didn't. really. know I'm not a good writer but I have. energy energy and enthusiasm will kick.

your [ __ ] ass also you you have good. points you know what to call [ __ ] on. something yeah and that's what people. enjoy you're calling [ __ ] on. something and you got a lot of energy so. the energy and the enthusiasm that. [ __ ] that wins bro yeah you know I. always told you I don't like going out. there and going out with the towel and. going like hi how you guys doing I like. to come out and hit them hard just so. they know and you said it best I like. bringing Joy with me because he goes out. there and he [ __ ] cleans the room out.

of all the bad spirits and that's how. you did it with your fingers that day. you go he just cleans the rooms out he. goes up there and he takes it to the. hoop the first five minutes it either. works or it doesn't work it either works. or it doesn't work all boundaries get. destroyed the first five minutes because. destroy why [ __ ] around. Nick let's go Lenny. clanger he came out throwing heat don't. come out dilly dally in my [ __ ] world. yeah come out and [ __ ] let's go you.

got 10 minutes I love to slaugh in the. main room I and it's in reality it's. just you on top of a guy and you your. your uh who's fighting him all night. Strickland yeah he's like when he went. off on [ __ ] adiso that's what it's. like you're just [ __ ] hitting them. with jokes and they can't take it then. you step back and you go oh my god look. what I've done they're [ __ ] laying. there like bodies yes they're laying. there that's the greatest that's better. than any dollar you can make yeah that's.

better than any ball lick you can make. that's better than anything it's better. than everything it's to see and bodies. laid down. going you got to stop you got to stop. and then I learned how to stop and let. them breathe and then I pce my material. like that I wanted to pce my material. where. it's stop and go yeah take them take. them take them give him a break give him. a break and then bring them back up. again bring them back up again and then. leave their roller coaster [ __ ] you. know that's that's stand up brother yes.

all right next time you're here there'll. be an announcement that announcement. will be a residency in Philly we're. going to make it happen no no a. residency at the comedy Mothership we'll. do that 100% that's what I really want. to do cuz I think I need I need a. constant week around you guys like okay. but you don't open Monday Monday's we're. open every day of the week but Monday's. no stand up open mic night really yeah. little room 100% you can go up you go up. every night of the weekk for Tak with. the stem man the best feel bettering.

[ __ ] already always great to see you and. tomorrow night we're all doing by the if. by the time this is out we're doing. fight companion I'll announce it right. now Joey Diaz is on the next fight. companion so it'll be Joey Diaz Eddie. Bravo Brenan sha and me let's [ __ ] go. let's [ __ ] go you already read it out. cuz somebody already hit me this week I. didn't rout it out they might have sha. might have ratted it out somebody else. might have put it. up but that's us tomorrow night I love. you love you bye everybody.

[Music]. [Applause]. [Music].