Joe Rogan Experience #2066 - Ralph Barbosa

joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe. Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan. podcast by night all. day what's up young how are you what's. up man Ral Barosa on the way up what's. happening hey it's good to be here good. to have you man I hear good things about. you I was just talking to Brian Simpson. about you today I'm a huge Brian Simpson. fan I love that dude we were working out. today and he was saying great things. about you no offense to Brian Simpson.

but he works. out I never I never thought I'd hear it. like that s he does now all right hell. yeah yeah he's been working out with me. for three weeks now I got like a little. comedy boot camp going on over here yeah. yeah Shane Gillis Duncan Trussell Assad. Brian Simpson and me we uh get together. and put get some workouts in all those. guys are uh are living down here yeah. they're all living down here that's dope.

man Aus pretty dope Austin's dope right. now it's a great spot I uh I popped in. here yesterday to. Austin and I didn't I feel like I didn't. used to be able to do this but yeah it. was it was dope man I got to go like do. a spot at the creek and then I got to go. to your spot got to do the little boy. nice yeah it's been dope man yeah it's. fun Austin's like it's a new thing it's. like an exciting thing yeah you know you. know it used to be like before covid. Austin was as far as Texas goes Austin.

was like the place to go if you were too. scared to like go to New York or La. people were like just go to Austin you. know it stayed busy but it was also like. very woke and so you you had you had to. be like real careful and now it's like n. it's yes it's Buck Wild I like that yeah. it's Buck. Wild yeah well you know what it is it's. kill Tony kill Tony's because kill. Tony's here that show it sets the. standard because it's all just about. being funny and people realize like this.

idea that you're supposed to have like. some sort of [ __ ] social message in. your comedy yeah I also think it's just. a lot of Californians and and New. Yorkers as well cuz like everybody. started moving down here to to be able. to actually be on stage yeah from New. York or La during covid and yeah I feel. like when they got here they were like. you know be careful but everybody from. California New York was just like. no well it depends on where you're from.

you know I mean there's there's pockets. of uh people that are like Enchanted by. the wokeness and all all sections of the. country you know it depends like if. you're coming from The Comedy Store it's. just about being funny but if you're. coming from some of the other clubs in. La maybe it's not like it's just it's. Hollywood man it's like movies and TV. they're all run by Executives and you. have to think like they think or you. don't get hired well I think I think. another reason that it got so book Wild. though is cuz during Co if you were.

coming here it's because you were. already like man [ __ ] the [ __ ] Co. rules you know what I mean if you're. really that safe person you're probably. also that like woke comedian so I feel. like those people stayed back while. everybody who was ready to get book Wild. came down to B wild to and got B wild I. think you I think you nailed it yeah I. think you nailed it cuz the people that. came here were like [ __ ] this like [ __ ]. telling me that I can't do standup [ __ ]. telling me I can't go to a restaurant. yeah especially when you go on the road.

and you realize that if you just live in. LA and you never leave La you think the. world is LA and then you go to Nashville. and you go oh they haven't lost their. mind yeah but they didn't lose their. mind in Nashville they were normal like. you go to Dallas they didn't lose their. mind in Dallas people kind of got a. little freaked out for Co for a couple. of weeks and everybody sort of just. settled in California never settled in. man it never settled in it's still there. I've been seeing people with masks on. this week I see that a lot too I. remember when like um when I came down.

to Austin a few times during Co to a lot. of the comics from like La you were like. Jesus Christ like they were they were. like waiting on you to like ride with. your club dude I was like you guys are. putting too much pressure on Joe Rogan. man pressure bro cuz uh I think I think. it I think it's not all La Comics but. there were a few that maybe felt like. the Austin Comics weren't showing love. to the LA Comics they were like man they. put us last on the mics they don't book. us on the shows La comics got to do our.

own thing he's like but they were like. just wait man I heard a couple guys say. this they were like just wait man when. Joe opens up his Club it's over like. we'll be back on top but I feel like you. brought everybody together man yeah it's. about everybody should be together this. is a fun artist community and it should. be fun for everybody there's no US. versus them shut up we're all Comics. stop with the silliness the Austin Comic. La comic it was I think it was only for. a little bit during Co when everybody. just rushing in you know everybody was.

freaking out just about change in the. world you know like there was a lot of. weird [ __ ] going on in the world and. everybody had a higher level of anxiety. and to take a chance when you're young. and you're coming up and everybody tells. you la is where you have to be are you a. 27 28 year old comic oh my God you got. to get to La that's what I always heard. you got to get to La you got to get to. La yeah it's not the case anymore that's. not real anymore the thing that helps. you more than anything is podcast that's. the thing that helps you more than.

anything yeah number one social media. podcasts you know those are like look. how big you got so quick from a couple. Clips yeah just a couple Clips you know. it as well as anybody if you've got good. [ __ ] now it gets out like that there is. not a TV show in the world that would. have done that for you you would have. had to be the star in the like if you. were living in the90s you'd have to be. the star of some NBC sitcom to sell the. kind of tickets you're selling right now. just from Clips online it's beautiful.

for for comedians it's the greatest. thing that's ever happened I feel like. it it's letting people decide who gets. to blow up you know what I mean like I I. don't know what it used to be like cuz I. wasn't there but I feel like it used to. be the industry kind of decides when you. get your break or not like do they put. you on this do but standup was always at. least partially been.

meritocracy you know but stand up the. quality of your standup is the most. important thing whether or not people. are laughing that's the most important. it's always been the most important. thing so if someone is undeniable they. always come through there they always. come through but they also have to be a. hard worker you got to actually put it. there's too many guys that are really. good that just go to one club or they go. you know they don't they don't go on the. road there's too many guys that like. they miss this window of opportunity. where they could have been like real.

National Headliners and they just never. developed a following out there in the. world [ __ ] up 100% I know I know a. handful of comics like back home or in. New York or La who I feel like are some. of the funniest people in the world and. don't have a lick of work ethic so the. world will never know it's horrible but. it's some of them it's not the work. ethic some of them get jobs like in the. business like they're writers or uh like. Owen Smith who is one of the top 20.

standup Comics alive Owen Smith is a. [ __ ] killer his [ __ ] is so tight is. it's he's so smooth on St you look at. him you're like how is this guy not. selling out Arenas how's this guy not. selling out Arenas it's because Owen had. they're great jobs he got a bunch of. great jobs like he run runs sitcoms and. stuff runs shows he's a writer but. godamn when you look at like the quality. of his stand up like man you should be.

everywhere you should be everywhere I. mean to each their own if he's happy. he's happy right yeah I think he think. riter strike probably freaked him out I. think the writer strike and the actor. strike freaked a lot of those guys out. they're like oh [ __ ] like cuz if they. just pulled a plug for five six months. in some sort of contract negotiations. like some of those Executives were. literally saying wait these people out. when they start losing their homes I saw. that yeah that's some Cutthroat [ __ ]. that's wild imagine if you got to go to. work with those people after that.

imagine you know that's how they feel. about you I couldn't do that I couldn't. I I mean I already didn't go that route. and I don't know if I could ever go that. route you could have gone that route in. the 90s in the 90s that was the only. option man in the 90s it was when I. first came to Hollywood in 94 that was. what everybody wanted you wanted what. Jerry Seinfeld had you wanted what. Roseanne had it was Brett Butler who's. uh what was that show called again Under. Fire Grace Under Fire that was a big. show Tim Allen you wanted to be a comic.

that got a sitcom that was the [ __ ] dude. if you were a comic that got a sh sitcom. now you got a house in Beverly Hills. you're [ __ ] balling out of control. you're driving a Ferrari woo you made it. that's what everybody wanted this was. like the goal right yeah and somewhere. along the line I think it was like the. 2000s reality shows came around. everybody wanted a reality show they're. too cheap they're so cheap to make. they're so cheap to make and you don't I. mean you like you barely pay the people.

that are on them like all those real. housewives and [ __ ] they're not like. making millions of dollars I don't think. you think they are I don't know I'd like. now I'd like to know just so I can talk. [ __ ] to. them I think like maybe the new ones do. like the obviously the Kardashians make. a shitload of money right but I think. they own their show but what about like. the point is like they're way easier to. make than a sitcom wayas like Fear. Factor was you know was complicated in. the stunts and all the stuff they had to. do but you don't have to write a script.

and like all that stuff like plays out. on its own it's like people are. competing it plays out the the drama. just happens and you have good editing. good music and all that [ __ ] but a siton. man to write a good one bro that [ __ ] is. brutal yeah props to writers man props. to writers props to writers I I don't. know hard TV in general just kind of. scares me acting writing I don't know. you're just you're just. so attached to like other people's. opinion opinions of you like you're.

constantly getting chosen for stuff I. feel like even even though I've never. done that I do I do get tired of like. comments like I know they say never read. the comments but I'll read them but. it'll be like the the like I could take. a joke I could take getting roasted. especially if it's people who follow me. it kind of feels like oh well I mean. they follow it's some sort of support it. feels like you're getting roasted by. like your cousin like right hey still on. my team [ __ ] it but the ones that like. pissed me off like I don't know why they. shouldn't but just throw me over there.

like I want to [ __ ] hit this guy in. the face is like if I just. left like let's say I did my Amy last. month and then I or like two weeks ago. and then I post like a flyer for next. Show's month like next month's shows and. people are like what the [ __ ] you. avoiding Miami I'm like hey dumb ass I. was just there like two weeks ago like. when' you start following me [ __ ]. like stop making me look like I don't. show your city love like you can't pay. attention to that that's just someone. who doesn't look at schedules I hate it.

yeah but that's like just just that's a. crazy person that's a lack of. information yeah but I don't know why it. just B I stopped checking social media. I'll check it like once throughout the. day and if if I happen to catch your. message or your comment I catch it if. not [ __ ] it like tomorrow you know what. it's like man it's like when you're out. at like a party or a club or someone. like that and and someone yells across. room yo what's up. Ralph yeah you know and you go hey. what's up man he goes dude I'm a fan. what's what's up how you doing then.

he'll give you some love but he's like. checking you to see if you'll like react. to him bro somebody that's kind of like. what they're doing in the comments. somebody you don't come to Miami man. yeah somebody tried to do that in like I. think it was Denver I was already pretty. drunk and I was tripping off mushrooms. man and I was like in a playful mood I. can't help it and some guy stopped me. while I was walking out of the club and. he was like yo Ralph and I don't know. why my my first reaction instantly was. just be like yo Rodrigo and I didn't.

know who he was or nothing I just like. huh like we're guessing people's names. now and he just like he went blank face. he's like. what and I was like I'm [ __ ] with you. man I was like what's your name and he. was like like Eric or something I was. like yo. Eric and then I was like nice to meet. you bro and I was like my bad man I just. walked off and when we were outside uh. man it was like snowy icy we're outside. and some that same I pretty sure it was. that same dude he was like hey Ralph.

he's like man you [ __ ] bro and I was. like I was like what's up I was like. What's your deal bro what's going on I. had a feeling like he was cuz he was. still real Smiley I had a feeling he was. just [ __ ] with me or something I was. like what's up man what's your deal he's. like what I was like what's up bro. What's your deal he's like what's my. deal and I felt so cool cuz I smoking a. cigarette I was like what you want to do. bro and my friend Luise was really drun. that dude just loves to fight Luis was. Luis pointed at my buddy Vince who's. like the nerd Nest guy in the world he's.

a writer for that show this fool super. nerdy guy with glasses he's like you see. this guy bro he knows MMA he doesn't. though don't I don't think Vince's ever. been in a fight that dude was like n I'm. [ __ ] with you man I'm sorry bro I'm. sorry but I was just kind of waiting for. him to come at me I usually if I get. into a fight I I'm going to get the. first hit I'm a small dude I'm not going. to risk getting knocked out on the first. punch I'm not like a if he hits me then. I'll hit him like if there's a fight is. going to happen I'm [ __ ] swinging. first I'm going to lose either way most. likely but I'm might at least start. swinging first before you knocked me out.

but I wanted him to come to me cuz it. was so snowy and icy I was like if I. start walking and I [ __ ] slip I was. like I need I I want him to risk. slipping first before I risk slipping. yeah ice fighting is not. smart it was the day before the Netflix. special came out so I was like I'm not. going to have a video of me getting. knocked out in the ice come out the day. before the special you you have to know. Jiu-Jitsu if you're going to fight in. the ice 100% yeah yeah yeah yeah if. you're fighting someone on a slippery. surface all you have to just grab them. and you're both going to the ground all.

right I'm going keep that in mind yeah. if you but don't fight don't fight man. don't fight coming fight I'm getting. heated just talking about this don't. fight Ralph you're a wild young kid. don't do it you got a great career don't. fight don't be fighting people if you. want to fight go to a gym I went to a. boxing gym for a little bit H earlier. this year I went for like two months. that'd be good for you yeah I liked it I. want to do something different though. boxing is the one of the very best.

things ever for uh. relieving like uh tension like if you. [ __ ] tense you just like you got too. much going on in your world man you just. put on some good Tunes I have a wuang. playlist that I play when I hit the bag. I I I would uh I'd go like early like. early in the morning for like private. sessions and uh that's what I would put. on some wuang some Rizza Rizza. specifically he has that one song that. like uh you can't stop me now it's like. a boxing classic riz's got so many jams.

but for me number one is protect your. neck that has to be on every playlist. and. uh that's like we when we would drive we. would drive to the arena shows and we. sometimes you get a police escort and. there's something wild about cop cars. with flashing lights and you listening. to protect your neck nice we we never. had a I've never had a police escort but. one time in a parking lot I had security. guard escort H but they have like the.

yellow lights those aren't as. threatening or as fun the yellow lights. no that's not as fun you need blue. lights it was also like a like a. shopping Center parking lot so it wasn't. it's not exactly an arena but dude some. of the best comedy clubs ever in those. little shopping center mall places. little [ __ ] clubs that you would. never imagine were great you know little. funny bones yeah man [ __ ] there's some I. never been to that one that's at the. Mall of America but I heard that's dope. too that was like the first Club I got.

to do like when I started hitting the. road that's like or second Club I don't. know it was like November like early. November are you from Dallas are you. from Dallas so like Minnesota winter is. a different thing man oh I loved it cuz. I love the cold I'm tired of the heat. yeah I'm so sick of the heat oh that's. funny I had I finally had a reason to. wear a jacket like see I grew up in. Boston oh so you're used to it's cold as. [ __ ] in Boston and I'm like [ __ ] the.

coal dude you can heat me up that. doesn't bother me at all I know people. die in the cold people die in their car. in the cold yeah yeah in the heat all. you have to do is get in the shade get. water don't be stupid be in reasonably. good shape and you can get away with it. if you're like woods and you have water. if it's the. cold you're [ __ ] but I love I love it. man I'm skinny I I just lay her up we.

like two three jackets well that's great. as long as there's a place to get warm. that's the thing like you can't survive. unless you can get warm that's the. difference like everybody's wor worried. about global warming global cooling is. what freaks me out I AG just freak me. out yo when Texas froze a couple years. ago I was I was somebody I think I was. watching like a video on Instagram. somebody was just like if uh climate. change like keeps getting worse that. will happen but like for long longer. periods of time or for like colder.

temperatures if that's true then yeah. I'm pretty scared bro that's all guess. work everyone's guessing yeah there's. there's definitely an impact it's. undeniable that human beings have an. impact but the here's the problem the. climate is never the same it's never. steady forever if you go back to like. 1934 in I think it was Wyoming got to. like 118°. holy [ __ ] yeah something crazy like that.

and they were talk it was I was God I. don't remember where I saw this I guess. that's why they call it climate change. it's because of the Dust Bowl the Dust. Bowl what was that I always hear about. that climate change the the the Dust. Bowl bad far like a lot of I mean this. is not exactly what it was but a lot of. the bad farming and drought it caused a. bunch of bad crops so they all and they. all turn to like [ __ ] they turn to dust. and it created giant dust storms all. over the like western part of the. country heated things up it led to a.

bunch of [ __ ] in the air that like. caused problems with the storms and the. Sun and definitely did heat things up I. bet they thought the world was ending. right there and there that's wild but. anyway the point is if you go back in. time you know when they do what's they. do these things called core sample so. they take this giant slab of the earth. you know hundreds of feet down and. through that you can you know what eror. they do carbon testing so they know like. this is from a thousand years ago this. from 2,000 years AG ago when they when.

they do that it's all over the place man. when they they have these charts of the. temperature of the earth throughout. history have you ever seen them they're. they go like this all over the place. even before people like it's always been. wacky I'm learning a lot man learning. about Hollywood in the 90s and climate. change bro I'm here to teach that's what. this is such a one-sided podcast man. it's not even fair like no it's not come. on man it's not dude I was thinking. about that on the way over. it is but like do you realize how how.

like this is like bro it's not even fair. bro I have I have everything to gain. here like like. me I I'm 27 right right and you know. you're Joe Rogan you got the experience. you got the podcast you got all this. knowledge in the world of Comedy. business if I just listen I'm going to. learn some [ __ ]. today but you you got to talk to like a. 27y old like what do you even talk about. like everything we've talked about I'm. learning 27 come on man I love what.

you're doing right now I really do I. love comics on the rise it's exciting to. me oh comedy is fun I love comedy I love. uh good comics and I love when when. people get better at [ __ ] and I love. watching it I really do I love watching. people crack it's fun I love definitely. trying to get better you're you're. [ __ ] great man you're funny as [ __ ]. you're cool you're relaxed you're you're. smooth on stage you got a lot going for. you man and I love it I smooth on stage. sometimes I sometimes I'll have a burst.

of energy and I'll let it out and I'll. have fun that way and I can tell some of. the audience is like ah this is fun and. some of them think I'm on drugs cuz. they've never seen that they're like. he's coked out I'm never I I'm not a. Coke guy though I'm not I want people to. know that if you ever seen me on stage. and I'm not like super mellow and I'm. actually energetic just know it's not. drugs mushrooms maybe not not anything. else though yeah you I don't I know a. few guys who've done like the guys who. had problems with Coke who did Coke and. then did did stand up and they said it.

[ __ ] their stand up up I bet I I I I'm. so I'm sober on stage like 98% of the. time yeah you're smoother that way yeah. I like a drink I like a drink every now. and again a little puff and a drink. sometimes you need that just to kind of. lose like just to get in the fun mood. just we're having fun you know yeah for. sure sometimes you might be a little. stressed depending what's going on in. your day or your week and you need like. a shot a couple hits to like take that. off a little bit take that edge off and.

just hey come on Ralph enjoy this [ __ ]. you're on a fun ride yeah let's go I I. just I try to chill sometimes just. because I know that if I do start. drinking I'm not going to stop like I'm. not like a few beers in the night I. might if I have two shows I might drink. a beer or two before the second show I. might drink another couple beers on the. stage but I'm also like when I'm on like. the West Coast from Texas to the West my. audiences are like 100% Mexican like. there's no type of mix and if you drink.

in front of an all Mexican crowd they're. just going to keep like chug chug chug. bro and there's no satisfying them like. if like I learned my lesson if you chug. one you'll have to chug another if you. chug the next one like you'll be eight. be in wanting to throw up on stage like. more dudes going to bring you beers let. me get them one too yeah so like so I. won't drink on stage if I do I'll let. them know like I'm not [ __ ] you're. not you're not doing this to me yeah. they can take you down a rap at but. after the show if I already started. drinking after the show I I'll keep it.

going mits is a fun place to be after. the shows where mits the bar downstairs. at the mothership oh yeah tonight. tonight after shows we're going. downstairs all right all right we're. going it's great whole staff's partying. hanging out yeah it's great Vibe it's a. a real uh great sense of community and. home you know that it's it's a real like. home base you know you need home bases. when you're on the road a lot I feel I. think you do too keep you human that's. we used to have at a store it was a home.

base all these guys that would Tour on. the weekends we'd all meet each other at. the bar at the bar downstairs it was a. comedian's only bar and it was this. beautiful bar and the the the bar itself. was mit's it was from her home and they. moved it when she moved out of her home. they moved it and they put it uh in this. one so you knew it was like you're. holding on to mit's bar this is hers you. know this is her bar like you feel her. bar when you put your hand down when you. have a drink you set it down on mit's. bar there was something about that man.

and then we're you know Ron White's back. there and [ __ ] Dave Chappelle's back. there Dave brings his own music. sometimes it's crazy it's beautiful I. [ __ ] love that beautiful it's just a. hang man and so that's what we do with. the mothership Dave has good music he's. always got the best M I got I always. have Shazam on point when D I have it. set up so uh I tap the back of my phone. three times and Shazam Shazam pops up I. just have it on the little pull down. menu or whatever I don't know what you. call I want to show you my messages I.

got a new case it's a little thick I. might have [ __ ] up my tapping that was. like the sweetest thing I could tap. three times boom boom boom you're going. to have to work out your hands more go. see Shazam comes up hell yeah yeah I got. to get better finger strength got to get. better you're telling me buddy got to. work on my piano. skills I imagine piano players man that. kind of dexterity in your fingers that. piano and guitar or anything you could. do with your fingers like that that's. some wild dexterity that have there's.

Instagram videos I got a trick for that. there's no need for dexterity these days. oh yeah well I mean if you're going to. play like a fullon song then yeah you. need dexterity and actual piano lessons. but if you're the type of guy like me. who just every now and then comes across. a piano and you want to impress people. who there's these Instagram videos that. have like four Keys tops and if you play. like the keys the way they tell you it's. a simple little pattern but it sounds. like you're doing a bunch it sounds like. you have dexterity so it's cool I just.

like to trick people I have no real. skills I just well that's a skill you. just have a very small skill yeah like. you were playing pool earlier with Jake. you can make a ball right MH you that's. a skill you're just not a professional. pool player that's the difference I know. enough to get by I'm like that I'm like. Leo on Catch Me If You. Can like I'll get by I'll get some money. but there won't be a real career here. well you know that's one of the. beautiful things about anything like you. learn and then you realize how much more.

there is to learn like I remember when I. first started doing standup you know all. you're trying to do is just get a laugh. just all you're trying to do is like. figure out how to not drown up there and. slowly but surely try to find things. that you think are funny and that make. make you but you you're getting better. you know over time for sure everybody. gets better all of us get better for. sure and there's something about that. that's [ __ ] cool and it's it seems to. never end man that's what I love about. standup I've always loved to learn like.

I love I I've had various jobs just for. the sake of learning that specific. little trade but standup was the first. thing that I was like man this is never. ending like I'm never going to finish. learning I'm never going to finish. getting as good as I want to get so. that's the one that I really stuck to. yeah it's a beautiful thing too because. you get this amazing feedback from all. these people then you make them feel. better yeah like when people leave a. great show they have this [ __ ] smile. in their face like oh [ __ ] that was. great that was so fun that was so fun.

sometimes girls want to have sex with. you after that's crazy you bringing Joy. just bringing joy to all these people. but you're getting better at it too Dom. arrera said that to me once and Dom at. the time was in his 60s and he's like. Joe I I don't think I've ever been. sharper he goes like all these sets at. the store he goes I feel like stand up. is an amazing thing cuz you could just. keep getting better at it I'm motivated. to do more of it whether I kill or I. bomb cuz if if I bomb I'm like bro when. I have to fix that have you seen Ron.

White lately M Ron White's sober now he. doesn't drink anymore better than ever. yeah better than ever you see that's why. I want to stay so murdering murdering I. mean murdering Ron White a [ __ ]. assassin and he's like never been. sharper new bits always working on new. [ __ ] constantly rolling out new material. he's going on tour again he was going to. have a retirement party I'm like [ __ ]. you ain't retiring I don't think you. could I would stand up I think I think I.

mean what do I know but he was saying. that he was just going to do the club. I'll just do the mothership I'm like. yeah for a while you're just going to do. the mothership but you going to get that. ditch I don't know yeah I don't know. what's you know what he's going through. anything but I feel like this is the. type of game where you you could you. could try to retire you could try to. take breaks but man there's no finishing. this too fun yeah there's just no way to. finish and you're doing it with people. that are like you like we're weirdos. we can find other Comics to hang out.

with they're the most. forgiving understanding ridiculous. people talk [ __ ] to each other all the. time everyone's laughing that green room. at the mothership at any given night it. is just like a full on show and we're. all howling at each other you know Hench. Cliff's cracking on people Shane Gillis. is cracking on people Ron White chimes. in Brian Simpson dumps on people it's. wild back there we're having so much fun. just all laughing at each other just all.

falling down on the ground slapping. tables just [ __ ] dope man it's it's. beautiful it's hard to like joke like. it's hard to go back from that like you. when you get used to talking [ __ ] with. Comics my group of friends that I grew. up with we talked heavy amounts of [ __ ]. to each other like there was no there. was no ly and I feel like with Comics. you can do that too you know everybody. shooting the [ __ ] but it's tough. sometimes like going home or or trying. to like like I like I've dated people. where I meet their family or whatever.

and you know you start to get a little. comfortable but you're there like you. forget that they have their line is way. [ __ ] way way way way down the road. yeah and I'm like [ __ ] like you passed. their line a lot you passed their line. in the third grade yeah I've said I've. said some jokes in front of like the. family of girls I've dated or something. like that where they're just like holy. [ __ ] man I'm like all right my bad my. bad it's just tough to go back but. sometimes I kind kind of miss that too. to be around somebody who's like not a.

comic like I don't know my uncle has a a. body. shop and uh sometimes there's just. random dudes that will go hang out dudes. that are getting their cars painted. there dudes that and sometimes I like. miss those guys cuz I remember them just. talking [ __ ] about like just random. things regular dudes yeah sometimes. they're curious about things and they. don't have the knowledge of like the. celebrity world or like the outside this. or that you just kind of shooting [ __ ]. sometimes I do kind of miss those convos.

but I don't know I I I don't like them. getting mad at Jo yeah I know what. you're saying yeah I mean I got a lot of. friends that have regular jobs one of my. best friends he's works as a maintenance. guy at high school I've known him since. I was like 24 23 do you ever imagine. like shout out to Tommy Jr yo what up. Tommy Jr do you ever imagine like. going back to something like that like.

to like regular life yeah do you ever. yeah yeah well I think everybody that. gets real famous there's a certain. amount of pressure that comes with that. that's not comfortable for some people. you know like you think how it is like. reading your comments you imagine if I. read my. comments I was going to ask you about. that too do you ever read them no it's. they're not good for you they're not no. I think the bad ones are not good for. you and the good ones aren't good for. you either no see they can't be cuz you. got to stay you no matter what and.

that's difficult and a lot of guys lose. their mind and I've lost my mind a few. times and got it back but you you could. lose your mind you can get lost in you. know other people's opinions of you who. are you really you you're not you need a. a at least some amount of time in your. day to self-reflect just. self-reflect you know if you half ass. something or if you did a good job. you know if you're prepared for.

something the way you should have you. know you know you know if a show went. well you know if a show sucked you know. you were off you like you didn't have. something anything whatever it is you. know and if you don't spend enough time. thinking about that and working on those. things whether it's with your personal. life or your standup or your hobbies or. anything that you're doing if you don't. have at least some time where you're not. thinking about other people's opinions. but you're just looking at it yourself. then you got too much noise coming in. and too much noise [ __ ] you I didn't say.

[ __ ] you and then you see people where. their whole life is engaged in these. meaningless disputes with people. meaningless yeah energy that you could. spend on positive things like. friendships like a hobby that you enjoy. like your loved ones like positive. things about life and I think for some. people they get trapped in this world of. other people's opinions and they don't. take enough time to look at them like. think about yourself think about you.

think about what you're doing I'm. learning yeah I'm learning that at least. for me I don't know I feel like standup. is a lot like a fight or like racing a. car like everybody can have an opinion. on like why you won it why you lost it. the race or the but nobody's really in. the car with you nobody saw if you. actually shifted wrong or correctly or. if it was because you ducked when you. should have punched or something like. right only you know only you know yeah. learning that yeah but that's I guess. that's the casee with everything and. there's nothing wrong with people.

expressing opinions but I just don't. think it's good for you to get engaged. with them I just don't think that's. mentally healthy oh I've engaged I'm. sure I I I engaged for like a good two. hours but here's my here's where I. [ __ ] up not only engaging is I I. waited to post a clip and I had a. feeling that a few people would would. talk some [ __ ] so I po I waited to post. it on an afternoon where I'd have some. time to engage like I knew I would on. purpose you were ready yeah I was like. nah cuz I want to see what people say. right right U but after a while I was.

like all right I've engaged enough like. but yeah after that I was like nah I'm. not doing this again that was kind of my. like all right I'm I'm good on engaging. point that was when I realized like I. should I should not check social media. anymore or not as often I posted a clip. making fun of Latino. Republicans I I didn't even like say. anything harsh they got mad I didn't say. I I like I said is they look weird. that's that's like the heaviest thing I.

said was that it's weird to see a dude. with an accent be like we got to stop. immigrants you know you're like cuz. you're like wondering when they got here. like right I didn't I was like I don't. know they saying they're wrong I mean. [ __ ] robot doesn't taste weird but I. mean you need it right like maybe it's. working I don't know so I'm not saying. they're wrong I just said it a little. weird well there's a shitload of them in. Florida all the people that came from. communist. countries Fu that nonsense so lot people. who came from you one of these little. cigars yeah these little Ron White.

specials Ron White got me on these. little cigars the little baby cigars you. don't have to finish a whole one a lot. of the people who were commenting were. like people who came from communist. countries and I don't know their. experience um I don't know the. experience of anybody really I'm just up. there talking some [ __ ] but I wasn't. trying to change anybody's mind I wasn't. like talking [ __ ] yeah I was like you. shouldn't be and people were in the. comments they were like uh they're like. well Ralph doesn't understand politics. yeah I don't this is aoke like yeah I'm. just talking [ __ ] also I just say you.

look weird I didn't say nothing wrong. with it you know what I mean some. Versace shirts look weird they do look. weird but they're nice they're nice you. know what I mean wasn't that what Shane. got for the fights you got a Versace. shirt a golden Versace shirt that [ __ ]. look dope that's a bold. move you know you got a gold Versace. shirt on you're like I'm here to party. you know that's like the ultimate. Hawaiian shirt like a Hawaiian shirt is. I'm here to party and a Versace yeah I. saw uh yeah yeah yeah I know I know what. you're talking about he posted a picture.

right look at him with the president. with the former. president it's blurry as [ __ ] it's a. blurry picture that's a badass picture. by the way like I'm not like a trump. supporter or nothing but that's just a. [ __ ] dope picture that's a fun. picture have you ever seen Shane's uh. Trump impression yeah it's [ __ ]. insane it's so. good you have like an astray oh right. there if I was Trump's friend I'd try to. get him to shave his head i' be like. come on. bro I want I want to take more cool.

pictures like that just post them every. now and I don't think he put like a. caption right I don't I don't know what. he put up I don't think he put a c bro. that's [ __ ] genius that's why this. dude's like the next goat bro oh he's so. funny man he's so funny he's that b he. has about Navy Seals oh my God I can. watch it a 100 times I could watch it a. hundred times he's so funny man and he's. out here too now it's it's cool because. we got like this real like good vibe. going where everybody's just really.

[ __ ] having fun it's and and there's. all these young guys coming up cuz like. a big point of the club was development. like we want to have two nights of open. mic night every Sunday every Monday open. mic night and then Monday kill Tony kill. Tony is the anchor that's the anchor. because it sets the tone of the culture. like you have one minute in that minute. you got to be funny you just got to be. and then people realize like oh that's. what this is all about yeah this is a. art form it's an art form and it's about.

how to be funny and everybody's got. their own way you know Ali sadik has. these great stories he's got these. beautiful long sto he's amazing. Storyteller you know and then you got. Joey Diaz who's like bang bang bang bang. bang bang he hits you with those bang. bang bangs I love I love the uh the. upstairs room the little boy because you. got comics going up but you also have. like every employee in the mothership. going up all Comics yeah they're all. comics but. you're a lot of comics work the to try.

like with the uh like across the country. whatever their Club is and sometimes. even they don't get really the chance. you know what I mean yeah well we all. came from open mics everybody did like. that's the only way to do it you have to. get on stage yeah so why would a club. not have an open mic and they're like. well it doesn't you know we could fill. it up with a headliner yeah you could. you could but you're making a shortterm. gain decision where you're making more.

money and you're not looking at the. longterm just for the art form the art. form needs seeds it needs plants it. needs someone to help need someone to. tend the garden need someone to give. people opportunities and to say like. this is a renewable resource this. beautiful thing that we all enjoy people. talking [ __ ] and US laughing it's the. it's the most beautiful thing I love it. to death there's the art side and the. business side yeah well that's there got.

to be a balance to it that's where you. yeah you got. to you gotta I don't know man I no one. else I don't know anybody else who did. it this way because we had to do it in a. way where you know we we all got up and. moved right so it was crazy in the first. place and we all took this chance to. come here and in the beginning a lot of. guys moved long before there was a club. so we were just doing the Vulcan and. they had heard that oh they got these. wild ass shows they're doing in Texas.

indoors in November of 2020 we were. doing shows. indoors and it just started coming and. then one day we did a show with Ron. White and Ron White grabbed my shoulders. he got off so he hadn't done stand stand. up in like eight months he grabs my. should whatever the [ __ ] we have to do. we're doing this he goes he goes when. are you going to get your [ __ ] club. open up I go let's [ __ ] go Ron White. let's do [ __ ] he's like let's [ __ ] go. I mean he had just gotten off stage yo.

and then he gave you these cigars yeah. he loves these little cigars I like. these they're good if you don't want a. whole cigar I never smoked a cigar until. I hung out want a big you want a real. cigar yeah I take a big cigar hold on. please hold. pleas get you some of these Foundation. cigars we got our own cigar bro you you. make those cigars no found uh Foundation. cigars do oh I've never heard of that.

company I'm new to the cigar world I. just got into it like in the summer I'm. learning shout out to my man nick uh. yeah this dude uh he I was super. skeptical he goes uh we made you some. cigars we I'm like come on man these are. probably going to be whack cigars with a. label on it but no this dude is like a. real cigar head like you know he he. travels to the places where they grow it. and he go he's involved in the whole. process of it and H yeah he makes a. bunch of like really dope cigars like. willly Wonka when he traveled to the.

Jungle to find Oompa loomas and stuff. like something like that yeah but anyone. anytime I hear like here you know how to. work these like that oh [ __ ] there you. go anytime um I meet a dude who's like. really into something like my friend. Evan from black rle coffee that dude is. like super super into coffee and he's. got this laboratory at his uh Factory he. took us to the Black Rifle uh warehouses.

where they you know do all their work. there and do all the roasting they have. these giant roasting machines and he's. got this laboratory where he's like. testing different weights of how much. coffee you put in different temperatures. and they've got these dudes sitting. around sipping them trying to figure out. what's the perfect way to do this [ __ ]. like they're they doing it like a lab. professional sippers yeah man. but that's when you're going to get that.

dope coffee that really good coffee I'm. just gotten into coffee this year coffee. and cigars that's that's 2023 Ralph. right. there I had this dude on. once. um I always forget his name lot of Peter. jul yeah I've had a lot of dudes on. there but I had this dude on who was a. real coffee expert and he he schooled me. and all the different kinds of coffee. and how they grow them and how they take. care of them and hey you had this one.

guy on here once I remember watching the. Clips on YouTube uh where he was talking. about like Christianity like ancient. Christianity yeah um and he asked. you uh about I think I think it was a. clip about psychedelics yeah like CHR. but he I forgot I forgot the exact. question he asked you he was like can I. tell you he like can I tell you about. like the the way Christianity was or. something something like that I forgot. how exact the exact question he asked. you and you said yeah and he kind like.

yeah and he kind of laughed a little bit. but I scared the [ __ ] out of me if I. would have heard the guy laugh after. he's like can I tell you about this and. I'm like yeah and then he laughs I'd be. like never mind bro I feel. like why did he laugh that what are you. g to tell him you going to say a magic. spell what are you gonna say he was. talking about a I don't remember all of. it I just remember he was talking about. like that Christianity used to be kind. of like a cult and and he was saying. something about they went under. theground with it to watch it or.

something who was that Jamie you know. who that. is I was thinking he was talking about. Bri Brian probably could somebody else. it might have been Brian Brian's amazing. yeah I mean it was it was a cool episode. I me I learned a lot of [ __ ] about. Christianity that I later forgot but it. was just it was just that one the one. way he asked the question that scared. the [ __ ] out of me and I was watching. the clip like at 1:00 a.m just chilling. you know so I turned that off and I just. turned the lights on in my room I was. like all right all freak me out a little. bit it's what's interesting about. Christianity is everybody wants to know.

what was the first [ __ ] they wrote down. like everybody knows like the New. Testament right the New Testament but. then you go what about the what about. the Old Testament like ah don't pay. attention of that yeah I don't really. like that that they be changing [ __ ] you. know give me one set of rules leave it. now if you choose to follow them or not. that's on you but don't change [ __ ] even. if it is the writings of Jesus even if. it is the writings of even if all that. is unadulterated it's not been altered. by human beings it's still put together.

by people written down by people you. ever uh you ever do that thing and very. different than the Old Testament they uh. I remember they did this like at Barber. College once just to like teach us a. lesson or some [ __ ] I don't know but. they had this long bench and they sat. down all the students and our instructor. whispered a secret to the first person. on the far right and then they got to. keep yeah you got to just keep. Whispering the secret down the line and. by the end of the line it's a totally. different sentence right that [ __ ] made.

me never want to like check out the. Bible. anymore yeah the Bible was uh they think. they it was an oral tradition for. hundreds if not a thousand years before. they ever wrote it down God damn that's. a yeah yeah that's a lot of mixup could. be yeah for sure people could have added. some [ __ ] in there you religious at all. like do you go to church or anything you. follow religious I'm not religious but. I'm not an atheist people always say I'm. an atheist I'm not an atheist I I feel.

like I'm on something like that you know. there's something going on out. there I mean I grew up like somewhat. Catholic like how most Mexican Catholics. are like maybe you don't go to church. but you do this thing all the time yeah. so like I still like you know like but. yeah there is I don't know man I don't. know what to believe I do want to have a. religion I'm not going to liece there. was a good one one you could like really. lock into like man you guys are making. sense I just like that people really. like lock into something and like I.

don't know man I want to I want to like. defend something I want to be like you. don't speak that way about Allah right. it's a nice gang to be a part of right. very aggressive gang but I also feel. like the gang I belong to whether I like. it or not is like the comedy world just. make fun of everything yeah that's our. gang but I think religion helps a lot of. people and I don't necessarily think. it's oh yeah I think it came from. somewhere and I think there's there's. like real wisdom to these stories that.

people wrote down thousands of years ago. but there's a lot of problems in the. translations too cuz they're translating. [ __ ]. from like the here's a good example the. Dead Sea Scrolls is the oldest version. of the Bible that they're aware of and. it's from uh kumran these it's this the. they had these like these caves and they. found these big pottery vessels with. Scrolls in them and these.

Scrolls they're all made of uh animal. skins like that's how old they are that. was their paper they wrote on animal. skins and one of the ways that they. figured out they had to put it all. together again and a lot of it was. crumpled and Fallen apart and so they. had to do DNA testing so that they could. figure out okay this sample these. samples are all from this. cow and so we'll put these here and it. they took them [ __ ] years and years. and years to do this and out after 14.

years of deciphering it there was this. one guy his name is John Marco Allegro. and he was uh uh he was a an ordained. minister but he was also agnostic. because when he studied theology the. more he started studying it the more. he's like wait what the [ __ ] is how come. this is so much different than this and. what's the origins of these words and. where this all come from so this guy. studies this Dead Sea Scrolls for 14. years and then he writes a book book. called The Sacred mushroom and the cross. and he said that the whole Christian.

religion was really about psychedelic. mushrooms and fertility rituals that. these people had hidden all of these. stories in these allegories and in these. Tales they'd hidden all this information. on what to do and when to do it and that. all like it's a very very controversial. book but that all of the like even you. think they got it at Barnes & nobl. I think you probably get it now I know. it got yeah it got republished it it was.

I think it was bought out by the. Catholic church for a long time and then. I didn't know the Catholic church was. buying out books like Fu they didn't. want this one out some wolf of wry [ __ ]. I don't know if that's true I need to. find out if that's true because I've. said it before cuz someone told it to me. dude you say with enough confidence it's. true yeah if you say with enough. confidence you but cath Church bought. out GameStop a couple years. ago they're responsible for Battlefield. Earth hell yeah man that's crazy that. they were writing on like cow skin yeah. that's all they had [ __ ] cows man. cows have never had it easy on this.

Earth bro Kobe beef even when they have. a good life it's only for kobby beef you. know what I mean right even if a good. life it's only like 16 years old where. where where is it like in Japan where. they really like massage them and. imagine being that cow just being like. damn I've heard about cows that get. slaughtered but man I got lucky to be. born in this life and they're like nope. you got slightly luckier than the other. cows but still a cow the thing about. cows is if you. care about like suffering if you you can.

buy beef from a regenerative Farm where. that cow dies instantly lives a great. life until it dies and then you'd say. like no we should let them free they. should be free the way they die when. they're free is horrific yeah horrific. yeah because they get eaten to death oh. yeah right yeah they get eaten they most. of them are not going to make it past. being a calf mountain lions bears wolves. if they they bring wolves back they've. brought wolves back everywhere now they. wolves are in Colorado now they're.

moving them in yeah they're moving them. in bad ass I don't know you heard the. wolves are back in town the wolves are. back in town I think that's the boys oh. yeah yeah yeah well you know you know. what they back town they're going to eat. your dog they're going to kill your kids. oh [ __ ] I didn't think about that that's. the Little Red Riding Hood [ __ ] man. that's all the big bad wolf that's cuz. in Europe in like the 1400s or whatever. the [ __ ] they're eaing people's grandmas. and [ __ ] they ate everybody wolves ate. people. wait what what year was. this listen wolves always eat people in.

World War I there was a ceasefire. between the Germans and the Russians. because wolves were eating so many. soldiers that they decided to band. together and kill the Wolves oh [ __ ] so. you know maybe they're not a problem the. world is very split right now maybe. wolves are going to bring us back. together maybe man also maybe we need to. bring back psychedelic Christianity I. think that's what Red Riding Hood was on. that's why she thought the wolf was her. grandma and [ __ ] probably tripping [ __ ].

was tripping yeah imagine how high you. have to be think a wolf with a dress is. your grandma I'll tell you this though. on the whole Christian psychedelic trip. [ __ ] one time I ate like n910 grams of. shrooms and I swear to God the ceiling. there was a face in it and I like for. some reason in my mind I was like that's. God and he's [ __ ] pissed and then I. pissed yeah at you yeah for what I don't. know I think it's just cuz on the inside. I'm always I've never done mushrooms out.

in the like during the day I know some. people are like yeah man do mushrooms go. to a park nah uh-uh cuz I do believe. there's like God out there some sort of. God and I don't think he's necessarily. like um like the good guy on a TV show I. think he's God you know what I mean you. ever had like a boss like at a like at a. place and maybe he's not exactly Fair. maybe he's not exactly nice but he's the. [ __ ] boss and what he says go I feel. like maybe that's what God is you know. for better or worse and I feel like if I.

do mushrooms out in the open he's going. to be like mad so I do them at night I. usually do them in my hotel rooms I'll. do research on hotels that have like. artwork and stuff like Hotel indigos. great place to trip especially the one. in Houston if I go to Houston I'm. staying at the Hotel. Indigo but yeah the ceiling man I was. tripping so hard and the face came out. and it looked like it like it looked. like a hand and then like a elbow and. then I felt like was putting his elbow. on my neck W and I couldn't breathe I. started trying to breathe real hard like.

and my buddy was like having a nice trip. he was just like that's right man. breathe I was like no dumb ass like I. can't breathe like God's choking you. yeah God was like putting the pressure. down on my neck but I feel like that. that was maybe in my mind well it's. definitely in your mind yeah you know. like just feeling pressure in general. right wondering if I'm doing the right. thing or not yeah well a lot of changes. have happened really quickly with you. you know Brian Simpson was telling me. that you were going to open for him one. weekend January of 2022 I think and then.

you blew up and then he called you and. you're like bro I'm headlining all these. clubs now nah he's that story that's. what he said the story's a little. different he said you were doing great I. mean yeah I doing he said it was a. period of a few months and he he got a. hold of you and you were headlined. everywhere I can't man I shouldn't say. how the story went because I'm not even. sure how the story went maybe that is. how I do remember we spoke and I was. just telling them like man I'm a like I. do want to open for you because [ __ ]. Brian Simpson that dude's hilarious you.

know hilarious but at the same time I. was like I kind of want to take my. chances on some headlining like. headlining my own shows here but looking. back on it I mean there's no regrets I. feel like as long as I'm doing whatever. I feel like doing in that moment there's. no regrets you know yeah but looking. back on it I do. wish things would have gone maybe a. little slower for me just because I was. still a feature I wasn't used to. headlining shows when I started. headlining shows and I feel like a lot. of my shows were me still very much.

learning and getting comfortable with an. hour on stage and like I love my Netflix. special don't get me wrong like I'm like. proud of it I want people to watch it. but I feel like after the special came. out is when I actually got to like enjoy. enjoy headlining on the road and I feel. like now I'm in I'm at a much more. comfortable level and now I I mean I'm. pretty sure this happens to a lot of. comics but I like this material now like. this is where it's at yeah I don't even.

want to post like I want to post it I. have certain jokes that I'm like bro if. I could just post this people will [ __ ]. with it I bet but there's a lot of it. that I'm like nah if I don't post it. yeah I I I can just keep doing it like. on the road and give people a hell of a. show keep and put it together on your. next special you're on the road you're. you're on your path now man that's. [ __ ] awesome that's what it's about. how old are you 27 that's beautiful. that's beautiful what a good time. yeah I like 27 man 26 was better but.

27's all right listen I know it all came. fast to you but you just got to accept. that gift this is just you know you. can't you got a you got a gift it's a. beautiful gift of being in the right. time with the right tools available and. having a a great set and having a a. piece of that get out to inhale that one. yeah don't inhale this man it'll [ __ ]. you up but it's you know it's a gift by. the universe and you gotta you know you. got to ride that gift and it's going to. be it's weirder that you go from. middling all a sudden you're headlining. everywhere but so what you're funny man.

I felt like a young Rocky like you know. how in Rocky one he's like kind of older. already and then I don't know where he. gets his shot you know right um I felt. like maybe like a younger inexperienced. Rocky and then I got like a shot yeah. you know but that's but the audience. knows though too that's the cool thing. like they know that you're kind of new. to this but they love you and they want. to come see you yeah it's been dope man. people are so supportive do you remember. that what is that girl's name is it. Angela Johnson the one who has that. Vietnamese bit she helped me out a lot.

by the way that girl had the same kind. of thing happen to her yeah she was. doing comedy like a few months or. something like that and then her bit. went viral on MySpace bro she was. middling and selling out clubs and then. people would leave when the headliner. would go up that's gu to [ __ ] piss. off a headliner oh my God could you. imagine like the place is packed and. you're the headliner but you know. they're all there for the middle. act what a drag man but that was real. that was what was going on for for a. while with her she was telling me about.

that for a while she was she's so nice. she sold out uh she cuz she's like doing. theaters or whatever she just isn't she. a serious Christian yeah yeah she's a. serious Christian she uh she's doing. like theaters or she's doing theaters. and then she did like a special like 20. what year are we in right now 23. 23 so like 22 maybe it. was I might be getting this wrong you. want some coffee I'm okay I'm okay I but. she was she put out got this special and. she had been like you know doing. theaters but after she did her special.

her last special she booked a lot of. Club gigs she told me and so she went to. San Antonio to the LOL to just book back. toback gigs to keep running material and. [ __ ] and um I don't know I kind of just. took like a page from that book I was. opening her for like eight of those. shows and we did LOL and San Antonio I. mean [ __ ] you know it's like Mexico. City there. so like I have a lot of tickets to sell. there man so every time they wanted to.

add a show I was like yes add it yes add. it like I'm just going to work out so. much [ __ ] here but then now that I've. did it we did the first weekend the. first weekend was 10 shows this next up. coming up weekend is the next 10 shows. but like six five shows in I was like. well hold up this might be a not as. productive as I thought it was because. every audience is just 99% Latino. Hispanic Mexican and I I like [ __ ] I was. like I I need. I need to work out material in front of. everybody it can't just be only my.

audience it can't just be Hispanics like. they're going to [ __ ] they're going. to baby me too much like I'm not going. to grow so I came down here I was like. [ __ ] like no offense to my audience I. love them like [ __ ] keep coming out I. [ __ ] with them all day but I also need. to get in front of strangers I also need. to get in front of different people some. Asians some Indians some white guys like. I need to get in front of everybody if. if if I truly want to grow at least. that's my opinion you know what I mean I. think that's a good opinion I think that. opinion is shared by a lot of people I. think uh getting in front of as many. different audiences is real important. especially in the early days you know.

you got that's why the road I think is. so important if you live in New York. City you kind of think that everybody. thinks like people from New York City. and then you go do a gig in Oklahoma and. you're like oh okay I love New York too. though cuz cuz you get a little bit of. like those diverse strangers oh New. York's great New York's an amazing place. to do comedy like comedy gym like comedy. you ever watch uh what is it Christian. Bells Batman and he goes up to like. Nepal to become Batman to like train. sometimes man when I was frustrated and. especially before I got to tour when I.

was still just like a feature an opener. you know what I mean an open mic go. crash on my buddy's couch for like a. month or two in New York and just. [ __ ] work it out you know what I mean. know New York has uh always been a great. place for talent you know I mean there's. always guys like a tell in New York and. there it's AR is always in New York R. it's a New York's a great place it's. just not for me man no it's too many. [ __ ] people too many people jammed on. top of each other I'm just too I don't. like that that much I like some quiet I.

like some peace I feel that I live uh I. live out in the country right now oh do. you yeah I live out like an hour south. of Dallas oh that's great uh my dad. lives out there he bought land when he. was like 20 there like a little trailer. home and he always kept it he'd move. around a lot you know he was an unstable. guy just up and down with her but he. always kept that land and once he became. more of like a family man you know he's. married to my stepmom I have younger. siblings he like you know make sure that.

they live there he got out of prison. like. 2019 and he went back to like painting. cars working on cars started saving. money started doing like contractor jobs. started his own business now he does. like pretty big business contract type. work with a couple other guys have their. own business and he like built his dream. housee oh nice on that land no more. trailer home he gave the trailer home to. my cousin and they moved it like further. back on the next piece of land so you.

know now he has to like start his own. little journey with her nice but he. built that uh he built that house and. it's nice man I started building a house. on that land as well before my cousin's. house so I could like outside my. cousin's house but it's not done but my. house is purely like I'm not even. looking forward to I'm not even trying. too much right now to like actually. build a house and be like this is I want. my kitchen and living room not even. worried about it the where I'm the. living compartment is on the upstairs. I'm worried about the downstairs cuz. that's going to be like my shop I used. to paint cars and I want to I want to do.

that in my free time again what kind of. painting like I I was I was still very. much like like artistic painting you. mean no like you know paint the cars. like right paint them blue paint them. red you know oh just painting cars. detailing them afterwards you know uh I. always wanted to paint candy but you. need a lot of experience a lot of people. don't know when you're painting candy. you can't just do the quarter panel and. then move to the door you got to do like. the whole what do you mean by candy like. you know Candy Paint like real real. glittery real pretty ass oh is that what. it's called yeah yeah come on man you're.

Texas now you got to learn about know. called c i I didn't know that was what. it was called yeah you ever go to a car. show and and maybe one car just [ __ ]. pops way more has way more flake in it. like candy paint but it's tough to paint. you got to you got to be a skilled like. experienced painter cuz you can't just. [ __ ] you know you you always got to. be careful how you adjust your gun right. you want you don't want your pattern too. wide too narrow are you super serious. about this [ __ ] oh yeah Man painting I. thought that was my thing really yeah. I'd get so discouraged at open mics I'd.

be like let me stick to painting let me. just stick to painting wow but that's. [ __ ] yeah it's [ __ ] dope man and my. uncle's like in my opinion he's like a. Grandmaster painter he's been painting. for years he learned so my dad had a. body shop when I was a kid very. small now back in these days my dad was. involved in you know less than legal. business so this body shop was a front. technically you know what I mean but I. mean they got business and they got good. and and my dad hired this painter named. Alfred me rest in peace Alfred [ __ ].

badass painter crazy old guy he he used. to know how to break dance this [ __ ] was. badass Alfred top my uncle had a paint. my uncle Jose and my uncle was young my. uncle was kind of like a knucklehead at. one point involved in like as a teenager. he involved in like [ __ ] gang [ __ ]. some drug deals whatever but Mich had a. kid very young and like Snapped out of. it quick just want wanted to be like a. respectable man just do the right thing. you know what I mean right and he's.

still that guy to this day my uncle's. been working the body shop since he was. like I might be getting the age wrong. he's like 20 right now he's in his like. late 30s mid-30s and he's still he's. still like the guy who goes into the. shop at 8:00 a.m will stay there till. [ __ ] midnight if he has to but he. puts food on the table you know what I'm. saying right but he learned from this. dude Alfred [ __ ] badass knowledge on. painting my uncle would teach it to me. when I was a te teenager my dad also had. a car wash I'd go work in the summer.

sometimes and I and ID get so mad at the. car wash like I hated it I'm like bro. anybody can just [ __ ] rinse the car. off put the soap like there was next. door like across the street from the. body shop so after work we would go hang. out at the body shop with everybody I. would tell my uncle cuz I didn't know if. my dad was going to take me serious or. not I'd be like can you teach me how to. paint I was like I don't want to work. over there I was like don't even pay me. if you don't want just teach me how to. paint have me over here like I want to. sand the cars I want to [ __ ] do real. [ __ ] you know yeah so he teach me every. now and then as I got older I'd spend a.

couple weekends over there at the body. shop with my uncle. whatever um After High School while my. dad was already locked up or whatever my. uncle I guess to like check on me make. sure I wasn't like getting sad or some. [ __ ] he would just call me kind of would. to give me a choice he be like hey I. need help like come help me out with her. like all right and you I started getting. good I went to paint school for a while. to get like certified those guys hook me. up with a job like at a better shop my. uncle I would also cut hair so my uncle. would always be like man just be a.

barber like you don't want to be in a. [ __ ] shop sweating your ass off. breaking your back like do something. where you're going to be in the AC you. know what I mean like work smarter not. harder but I was I eventually did that. but at the time I'm like I want to. [ __ ] learn this you know let me do. this so I went and worked at a body shop. and I worked at one where this was. painter man I hate not to talk down. another man but that guy wasn't worth. the [ __ ] he was cool painter but he. didn't care so I was the paint prepper. you know what you mean he didn't care.

like he wasn't in there to do good work. he he was in there to just get his. paycheck and he wasn't even like there a. lot of the time man uh you know like. there's a lot of preparation that goes. in a painting car a lot of sanding so. you got to [ __ ] sand and sand and. sand and make sure you sand this and. then you got to clean it this way and. make sure there's no like type of. chemicals in the air like you can't keep. like the like armor ra or anything that. use for detail car you can't have that. in the same room you're painting in you. get a chemical reaction and your paint.

job will look like [ __ ] really yeah it's. like just in the air yeah there's tons. of little details mechanic work and. paint work cannot be in the same room. really yeah you just can't you can't. have it you know what I mean so armorall. just being in the room will [ __ ] up your. paint yeah bro if you like let's say. wild let's say you like sprayed some. armor on some [ __ ] or you wipe the car. down and and you weren't supposed to. like which is anything that was like. cleaning product it you have to be. careful what exactly you're using so. you're saying if the Armor All contacted.

the paint physically no like even if. it's just kind of like in the air yeah I. mean at least that's how careful we were. like but what is that doing to you then. what do you mean oh all the paint stuff. oh it's killing you arm it's got to be. killing you I mean the pain is worse. than the arm we're like breathing in. like primer we're breathing in like. Bondo dust we're breathing in so much. God is there a lot of people that have. like lung problems that are painters oh. yeah yeah yeah yeah even if you even if. you don't like get the lung cancer right. let's say you live a full life as a.

painter they've done autopsies on. painters their lungs are like different. colors oh Jesus Christ really yeah but I. mean I'd rather have different colors. than just you know nasty pink or. whatever what if you wear one of those. fouchy masks they they help no like. definitely wear your mask wear your. gloves they help but the [ __ ] is there. you know what I mean you're getting it. in even through those crazy masks yeah. for sure you know there's no way and. then there's different masks for there's. masks that will help you the dust from. like primer or like from the body filler.

but those masks aren't going to help you. when it comes to paint and like Vice. Versa oh you got to swap masks when. you're sanding versus when you're. painting yeah so I started getting. pretty good as a painter when especially. when I went to work at a shop where my. uncle's not like babysitting me anymore. now I'm like learning on my own and when. I say on my own I mean like the way the. reason I say that one painter wasn't. worth the damn was because when you. first work at a shop and you're trying. to be a painter you got to be a like a. prain a paint prepper or like a. painter's Apprentice for like a few.

years so it's my job to like prepare the. car I like every step of the way up. until it's in the booth taped up ready. to get painted that's when the painter. would just show up I don't know he's. probably just been kicking it at the. house all day he'll show up mix the. paint paint it spray it clear it and he'. go home so I've been prepping these cars. for like days on end I'm staying extra. you know every now and then if it was a. smaller piece like a bumper or just like. a like a small piece of the car they. just leave it up to me they're like well.

you go ahead and knock it out so I. started getting good there was a guy. there man I forget his name super cool. ass [ __ ] guy who was just kind of. like a shop hand like he he didn't. really work on cars but if you needed. help you know sometimes you need help. moving a [ __ ] hood or a door like. just random [ __ ] he was there and he had. a Buick like a like it was his Grandpa's. Buick like a 99 just regular Buick. and he was like man I want you to paint. it I want you to paint it so I painted. like half the car cuz it only the front.

end needed it that was like my. only like big paint job I started. getting good but that's when I really. jumped more into comedy so I just kind. of quit and I did whatever I had to do. to make sure comedy worked out and I. went back to like cutting hair cuz it. allowed me more time to jump to open. mics quicker you know what was the how. did you get on stage and what was like. uh the motivation like did your friends. talk you into it does it something you. always wanted to do I always wanted to. do it you were always a fan of Comedy. yeah well like I wanted to be a comedic.

actor oh like movies and [ __ ] movie. sketches SNL some [ __ ] like that I loved. like Chappelle Show I loved anything. with Adam Sandler I loved anything with. just funny movies and I was even though. I'm very mellow on stage I'm I'm I'm you. know I'm writing jokes and I'm Mak sure. I say them right before that I was like. a goofy kid and I think if I once I'm. comfortable people I'm still like the. goofy guy I'm doing impressions I'm. doing [ __ ] voices I'm I'm a loud dude. once I get super comfortable but I have.

to get comfortable you know what I mean. and so then where was your first open. mike uh at hyenas hyenas in Dallas in. Dallas on a Wednesday night I signed up. at 5:00 p.m went up at 1:30 a.m wow yeah. got yelled at there was there was one. comic that was up after me and he was. there or maybe two Comics there's two. guys in there but I know for sure one of. those guys was after me and I was like. second to last thir to L and the dude. was like get the [ __ ] out of here. already he was like drunk he's just mad. oh my God I had 3 minutes I did one and.

a half cuz once he yelled at me I was. like all that's my time oh my God but. that's the [ __ ] that I was what we were. talking about earlier is that like I saw. how hard I bombed and it was [ __ ]. devastating to get yelled at at 1:30 a.m. and and just me and and three four. people in the room that aren't even. audience just other opening micers and I. and leaving walking through the parking. lot I'm like this isn't for me this. isn't for me I just stick to my my job. like okay you know but the next day when. I'm [ __ ] sanding a car for 3 hours.

straight the whole time in my head I'm. just like thinking of well if I would. have said it different or if I would. have said this instead or what if I. tried this on stage like my mind was. always there you know yeah so I just so. I'd go back but then I'd get discouraged. again older dudes would scare me I'm a. bro I'm a very introverted person I've. been breaking out of my shell more and. more you know you kind of have to in the. comedy world but I was so introverted. sometimes I'll tell people that they're. like no you're not and it's like all. right I'm not whatever but I am like to. talk to people would feel like a. tremendous [ __ ] stress and fear like. I freak out even till this day if I'm.

walking through the mall and somebody. who might be a fan or something is. walking up to me and I see them walking. the whole time in my head I just like oh. [ __ ] oh [ __ ] and then they're like. what's up man big fan and I'm like oh. okay all right hey what's up bro thanks. man but as soon as it's over I'm like. [ __ ] thank God. like but yeah man so I don't know so. that's why I never really stuck to. painting CU comedy took over comedy was. when did you start in it full-time how. many years in were. you um so when I'm like 19 18 I'm doing.

it once every few months but once I was. 20 I just every night didn't stop going. you know what I mean like just [ __ ] it. like full blast you know cuz I think. that's when I finally got like a. laugh do you remember the the joke yeah. it wasn't even a joke it was like just a. reaction to the dude in the crowd man. and that was like my first hard lesson. in comment I I went up at a place called. back door comedy where you have to be. clean which shout out to them I feel.

like that's the place that really made. me love comedy because you you can't. even talk about like the restroom so I. feel like that forced me to really write. you know what I mean get creative right. right taking the easier way out yeah and. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily a clean. comic now I feel like I feel like. there's no set Style I want to have like. if there's a joke that's dirty or cuss. words [ __ ] it you know what I mean if. it's funny it's funny but that room. I was so nervous I was like I got to be. clean and it it took place the mic the.

show the little tiny it's not even a. club it's just the room that used to be. located inside the Hilton Double. Tree and the audience that would show. for the they'd get a real audience for. the mic but it was kind of like classier. Upp folk a lot of white people with. money which intimidated the [ __ ] out of. me I was never used to leaving my own. little circle and as I walking up to the. stage there was this dude like older. white guy and a button down had his arms. crossed and that just scared the [ __ ]. out of me he there was I had a neighbor. who every time I walked by his house if.

he Capp to see me or just kids he'd. stare really hard like I'm pretty sure. he was a little racist you know he just. stare like making sure we didn't take. nothing from his yard he just stare he. didn't care if you saw him he had a. glass door he would stand behind the. glass door just like [ __ ] staring. hard and he looked like that guy to me. so as I walked up I just I just looked. at that guy I didn't think about my. jokes I didn't think about nothing I was. like man this dude looks like he caught. the cops on me already. and the audience laugh and the first. lesson was like just [ __ ] you know. say what you're going to say be.

vulnerable be honest and that was like. my first little lesson like it worked. you know so then you started feeling it. yeah after I got that it wasn't even. like a huge laugh where they're going to. clap but it was a laugh but you know. that first time you get a laugh it feels. like you just destroyed the room like. yeah and after that i' get a little. better I was able to deliver for a. minute and then I was able to deliver. for two and my they' give you three. minutes at that mic so then 2 minutes. would go good and then three and then. then I'd have like a killer three Linda.

stogner the owner of that place started. letting me host the weekends with just 3. minutes but there's like it's like a. showcase style room and there's tons of. comics the show would go on for like two. hours and there's just so many comics. and you know just I just I i' take it I. host for three minutes and then I the. the next [ __ ] two hours just you know. I do my three minutes set and then the. next two hours just host you know. remember people's credits whatever right. but yeah I loved it man I also just love. going to different clubs I feel like. Dallas was too small of a scene for. people to click up but they did they'd.

be like nah it's a hyenas comic or. that's a Dallas Comedy Club comic and. there yeah there were and then you know. Dallas comedy club was maybe where you'd. go if you were a little more like on the. woke side not necessarily too woke but. you know you were a little cleaner a. little friendlier hyenas was where you'd. go if you just wanted to say some [ __ ]. get a little more ranchy back door was. definitely. like where I feel like a lot of good. [ __ ] Like Comics would go on the. weekend sometimes people would just pop. in because they'd happen to have some.

extra time on the weekend um but I like. going to all of them man cuz all of them. you had [ __ ] to learn you know what I. mean yeah it's good to get a variety in. it's so silly to think of yourself as a. I'm a this club comic guess we kind of. used to do that with the comedy store. but but even then it's like you still. did even at The Comedy Store I've seen I. mean I I you I've never lived in LA but. I've been in there tons of times just to. watch [ __ ] you know even there you get a. variety of comics who have different. styles and that's what I [ __ ] love.

there's this Bruce Lee movie I don't. remember the movie but I save the video. I have like screen recorded on my phone. and sometimes I watch it on the plane. when it's airplane mode I have the video. where uh he's talking to like you know. like a grandm type dude and he's. questioning Bruce Lee and that [ __ ]. that one quote I feel like just applies. so much to not only comedy but. everything he's he asked Bruce Lee he's. like what is the highest Tech technique. you hope to achieve and Bruce Lee's like. to have no technique I was like bro.

that's [ __ ] it right there like. that's that's that's the thing you know. what I mean to be like I get it a clean. comic is a clean comic and they're funny. with it right some people only want. clean comedy and a dirty comic is funny. as [ __ ] some people only want that but. to be able to do everything you know. what I mean yeah like to not subject. yourself to one style of Comedy like. that's [ __ ] hilarious yeah that's the. the beauty of having to do like a clean. set for television is so you do have to. work on it and you do have to and. sometimes when you're working on stuff. like that it's a there's a good it's a.

good exercise in being locked into a. rigid structure where you can't say you. can't talk about [ __ ] you can't talk. about anything crazy you you have like a. FCC set of rules or whatever it is when. you you do that it forces you to think. of alternative ways for things to be. funny other than going to like a cheap. laugh yeah you know sometimes Chief. laughs are the funniest though that's. the problem like Joey Diaz like he's got. great great punch lines but great timing.

but it's also he will he will go for it. wherever it is he doesn't give a it's. just like what is the funniest [ __ ]. thing to say right now I'm going for. that yeah like there's no thought of. like Joey would never do a clean TV set. yeah it would be hell like you can't do. that to Joey but Joey's got to be wild. and like for him to be locked into a TV. set that isn't that not the way for him. mm but also for him he's the funn I've. never seen anybody funnier in my life in.

all the people I've seen murder all the. Chappelle and Chris Rock and Shane. Gillis and [ __ ] all the. murderers Joey Diaz in the original room. at like 11:30 p.m on a [ __ ] Wednesday. night or something like that has made me. laugh harder than anybody anybody I mean. there was like six seven comics in the. back room at one point in time he was. doing this bit about Terry Cruz about. that agent who grabbed Terry Cruz's dick. yeah and Terry Cruz with his shaking his.

big dick in his underwear and those. commercials that he did this guy was. going crazy bro we were falling on the. ground laughing we couldn't breathe he. just he hits. RPMs you know like a lot of people. Redline at like 7,000 8,000 it's really. funny it's great but Joey gets to like. nine and you're like holy [ __ ] [ __ ] man. I've never got to see him live but I. watch oh my God oh my God he still has. it he came to the Mothership hell yeah.

he only did one show I love I I love. people like that too that are funny as. [ __ ] on stage and offstage oh well that. was the thing about Joey is like when I. brought him on the road I brought him on. the road for two reasons one because I. love him and two because he's really. funny and it challenges me like I I was. going on after him but also he's funny. all the time like he's funny when you're. at dinner he's in the green room we're. just it's a party Joey brings the party. so when we would all go on the road.

together it was just fun it was family. together you know like [ __ ] Venda. would say family but it was like that it. was like we're we were good friends so. we're just having a great time you know. me and Ari and Duncan and Joey and we're. we're in these different [ __ ] towns. but it's always us so we're always. laughing you know we're in the [ __ ]. hotel lobby just sitting on the couches. laughing at 2:00 in the morning just. cracking jokes and laughing just hanging. out that's what I like about I guess. traveling with my buddies from home I do. feel bad sometimes I'm like man I should.

I should give somebody else a chance. like a local I know sometimes they want. to hop on the show and for the most part. I give guest spots like crazy if people. ask there's I go I go five six cities in. a row where like maybe nobody's really. [ __ ] with me in that City or nobody's. really trying to ask for a guest spot or. maybe they ask the club I don't know if. the Club sell them yes or no but if you. ask me like you're there yeah I don't. even have to watch your set Bro like if. you're a comic who's taking the chance. you should have never said that should. never said I'm going to get bugged like. crazy oh my God you're get annoyed by. people that shouldn't be on stage I also. just stopped you know checking social.

media so that's a good luck finding you. but yeah but for the most part man when. there's people that are like well it's. also the way they ask man I don't want. like some people be like what's up bro. let me hop on what the [ __ ] I'm like bro. who the [ __ ] are you like talking to me. like that I don't know you you boys like. that but there for the most part like. there'll be Comics that like hey man. like any chance I could do some time on. your show big fan what her or like you. know if you have room if not [ __ ] it. I'll be like yeah bro cop on you know. what I mean I I might not be able to. give you a like a full seven maybe do a.

five or something it depends who who. else is with me but yeah bro I'm down or. even if I run into people that I that I. already have met before or I feel like. they're working at it they're pretty. funny like I'll offer them some stage. time even if the guys who are already. with me have to do less time they're. pretty cool about like [ __ ] it they're. not greedy you know what I mean. sometimes like the main two guys that. have been with me my buddy Jesus. Castillo and Luis warus they're Comics. out of Dallas when I was early on they. were already kind of on and popping. within Texas so they take me to like. open up in San Antonio or abalene or.

Houston you know if they get a one night. here or there so there dudes around the. road with me now and sometimes they. might tell me like hey bro like is there. any chance I could do a longer set like. I haven't really got a long set in a. while and you know I want to [ __ ]. feel it cuz maybe they got a headline. gig coming up and they've only been. doing 1015 for the last month or two. like right so yeah sometimes then I'll. be like all right well [ __ ] it you know. let me close this show out it's only you. two each does 20 if you want to go over.

[ __ ] it this crowd's going to have fun. either way right um but yeah if I if I. can man like I'm I'm down to share the. stage bro like that's. great that's great look it's in best. case scenario it's all I mean I met a. lot of great friends doing the road. where I'd never seen him before Tom. sigura I did a show with him in um. Phoenix never saw him before and uh he. went up he went up first and he was. hilarious and I said hey man where are. you working out of we start talking I. said I want to take you on the road and.

he was like like he didn't believe it. then I called him up the next week I'm. like come on man let's go let's go have. some fun and um we were like best. friends now I love that dude to death. he's out here too yeah he moved out here. first he was one of the first hinchcliff. was fir Well Ron White was here before. all of us Ron White had told me about he. had already moved before the pandemic oh. [ __ ] I [ __ ] love Austin Austin's a. [ __ ] he goes I got travel do all my gigs. it's in the middle of the country I was. like man I don't know if I could live in. Austin that's what I was thinking back.

then like you know I'm in La like my. podcast is there the store is there. jiujitsu is there I don't know if I. could leave yet but then the pandemic. hit I was like what I got to get the. [ __ ] out of here and Ron was already. here and so when we first came down you. know Ron told me like where to go what's. the cool spots and I'd been here a few. times before doing standup over the. years you know never really spent like a. lot of time here but then when I decided. to move I was telling everybody I was.

like [ __ ] that place man like I'm. thinking about opening a club and I. first started I I I got this place that. was run by a. cult the first building I got was this. building called the One World Theater. and it's a theater that there's that's. such a c t name too such a cult ass name. but I think they named it that after the. cult left so one of the guys that was. the cult actually still owned it so what. had happened was this dude ran a cult in. West Hollywood and uh he's just really.

beautiful handsome yoga guy and you know. he was a hypnotist and a gay porn star. yeah oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] yeah so this dude. runs this cult West Hollywood and then. Waco pops off and the cult awareness. network is like they're like now. investigating Cults and there's a bunch. of family members that have been. complaining about this cult so this dude. in the middle of the night [ __ ] Jets. and takes off across the country and. moves to Austin and then has all the and. changes his name and has all the cult.

members eventually come out here and he. wants them to build a theater so that he. can dance in front of them that's the. place I bought yeah yeah bro and I. bought it because Ron Ron you should buy. that place own by the cult it's the [ __ ]. I didn't stand up there once it's. [ __ ] beautiful so you know Ron. White's the man so he tells me I should. buy that place I'm like all right that'. probably be the perfect spot and so we. were in theid middle of this whole thing. but it all fell apart there was some. there was some issues that had to be. dealt with that weren't dealt I don't I. don't even know if I'm allowed to talk.

about them so I won't but the point is. that was the original spot and that fell. apart and then it was like a long time. to try to find another spot and then Ron. why was like then grabbed me after I did. that set with him at the Vulcan he's. like whatever the [ __ ] we have to do. we're doing this I was like okay let's. go you ever wonder if like Ron White. isn't really just a figment of your. imagination like he's your conscience. no Ron White isn't that's a real dude. that's a real dude I love that guy of.

death yeah man he's our he's our like. Elder Statesman of standup you know. everybody loves Ron White like all. there's no Ron White haters out there. Ron White is amazing he's is a beautiful. person too he's just everything he's. just great every time I see him I can't. wait to hug him he's great and he's at. the club all he'll probably be there. tonight if he's in town he's there all. the time he does weekends here sometimes. does you know headlines on week night. sometimes you know and that's what made. him decide to go back on the road again. which is exciting cuz i' I've never I've.

never seen him better he's just good as. he's ever been he's a [ __ ] straight. up killer could watch if you could watch. one last set like this was your last set. before you just. disappeared of anybody alive anybody. alive like it probably Joey Joey I was. about to ask you Joey or your Ron it. either one boy show would Joey and Ron. would be the perfect way to get out of. this world see that yeah that's cool man. that's a cool that's a cool thing to. know well Joey I love him so much you. know it's not just that I think he's the.

funniest guy ever it's just I love that. dude so much I'd probably go out. watching an open mic you know what I. mean go out the way you came in go out. watch the someone bomb I be like this is. horrible goodbye I can't watch open. mic's bomb no I can't I got to get out. of the room I feel like it's contagious. like when I would go on the road and I'd. have a terrible opening act it's always. always in Florida Florida they would. throw people up they like they've been. doing stand up for 5 minutes they had. never done stand up before it's like. they're these people were terrible so.

many of these clubs they they they were. so bad and I would be in the green room. and I'd peek my head out I watch this. dude just eat [ __ ] I'm like oh my God I. got to get in my own head I can't pay. attention to that cuz I would try to pay. attention to make sure that they're not. talking about stuff that I talk about. you know I don't want to cover the same. ground so I'd like listen to the opening. act to try to figure out like oh he. talked about that movie I can't talk. about that movie let me adjust my set. but they were so bad I had to hide I'm. like I just got to be in this [ __ ]. room by myself I got to listen to music.

or something I can't do this man I think. it's contagious like you you start. thinking nothing's funny there's nothing. funny in the world nothing's funny this. guy's not funny I feel that but if. someone's funny then you feel like oh. good I'm loose now they're they're. laughing I'm laughing everyone's having. a good time I also try not to listen too. much to other Comics before I start. trying to write in their voice or. something like. you know what I mean well that was a. real problem in the come up right when. people on their way up a lot of people.

in New York sound exactly like. davel you know there was a lot of this. there was a lot of punchlines I kind of. like Dave and it's just cuz his rhythm. is so funny it's so in he's so he's such. a virtuoso that when he's on stage it's. so smooth and it just it goes into this. he's got this flow to him that's so. contagious and so you want to be funny. too you're like maybe I need to talk. like that I need to talk like Dave.

there's a a lot of guys who get caught. up in other people's I did it for a. while I I caught myself on stage once. when I was an open micer I sounded. exactly like Richard Jenny I was a giant. Richard Jenny fan and I sounded like I. was doing like his timing like his it. was like I was like oh. no I realized it while I was doing I was. like yuck don't do that I feel like a. lot of the comedians I see in New York. would talk very fast and then I kind of.

try to do that but and I and I tried to. do that when I first started doing. standup 2 I'd be so nervous I'm just. trying to get it out already yeah but I. can't talk that fast and some people. will get mad those are some of the like. that's some of the feedback I've gotten. back on standup it's like ah it's just. too slow for me but I can't talk that. fast because I won't be able to. enunciate and I think it's cuz my tongue. is like kind of big like I got like this. white ass tongue so this guy I bet you. if he sees he's going to he's going to.

freak out he loves like the credit. there's a guy named Bobby Goldsmith in. Dallas who would go to the back door. open mic a lot and one time he told me. he was like Hey man you're like you're. funny you have good material he's like. but the audience doesn't know it cuz. you're talking too fast and you don't. annunciate he's like slow down he's like. talk slow he's like talk slow and so I. just I just [ __ ] get like I put the. nerves to the side yeah I just said the. jokes as if I was reading them off of. paper and I started getting more laughs.

and I was just like man like now I'm. kind of finding my timing with it but. like I'll never be able to talk super. fast you won't [ __ ] understand some. dudes Mumble and then when they get on. stage they Mumble like Ari used to. mumble and it was hard to understand. what I go dude I don't know what the. [ __ ] you're saying and I'm your friend I. go you got to clean those words up yeah. make those words real clear these people. don't know you yeah like you're a. professional orator stop mumbling I feel.

like I'm still learning how to hold the. mic sometimes sometimes I'm like 30. minutes into a set and I just angle it. up a bit I'm like that sounds. better oh you switch hands I used to. only have to hold it in my right hand. now it seems like I don't want to use my. right hand anymore I want to hold it. with my left and I switch back and forth. for like years I only it with right hand. but yeah I can't I I have to hold it in. my left that's the other thing about. Joey he's the funniest guy ever that. just leaves the mic in the stand man.

never takes the mic out of that stand. people always like hype up the chair. like don't get me wrong Ali sadik that's. one of my alltime favorite Comics I. think that D is [ __ ] hilarious right. but people hype up the chair they're. like oh so tough to sit in the chair. like you got to figure it out like not. just anybody can sit in the chair you. know it's only Cosby and Ali that could. figure that out but I think like funny. is funny when you're when you're. listening to a comedy album you're not. like oh yeah he's in the chair I can. tell Brian Simpson sits in that chair. all the time and murders right but that. is that is one like [ __ ] thing that I.

feel like I just can't do is leave the. mic in the stand I've tried that I. [ __ ] bomb I don't know what it is I. can't I can't leave the mic in the stand. Joey uses both hands he's got both hands. going on you know so he likes that. [ __ ] mic in the stand [ __ ] some. people got my buddy ha I grew up with. this my childhood best friend goofiest. [ __ ] guy I've ever met to me this is. like the funniest dude of life just some. Goofy goofy nerd like not not to talk. too much [ __ ] on my buddy but just goofy. in the face like just uh we took a I.

took him with me when I did Bobby Lee's. podcast and Bobby Lee was instantly like. who the [ __ ] this guy and just fell in. love with him instantly like started. [ __ ] with him and [ __ ] so I I I know. that he's always wanted to do standup. he's he's a comedy nerd he's the one. that really taught me how to like love. comedy we'd watch movies shows and he'd. be laughing his ass off at [ __ ] that. most people don't realize that that's an. intentional joke like in a show right. we had like a falling out and when. things started popping off for me with. comedy we still weren't talking but then.

we we you know started talking again. what her he's a photographer. videographer back home for like. nightclubs very much in like the bar. scene so I tell him like Hey man like. come on the road with us just take. pictures record my set so I can keep. getting Clips like you know if you want. to he' be like yeah [ __ ] it he'd come. every now and then then he started. coming just every weekend and I would be. like go through five minutes like [ __ ]. it just do three minutes do three. minutes what like tell a story you know. tell them what we did last night when we. went out in Chicago or something and uh.

man just it would just [ __ ] go well. I've never like I'm not even trying to. hype this dude up too much but I've. never seen somebody go up on their first. time and get that many laughs not saying. he had a [ __ ] like just destroyed the. room but to get he like laugh that heavy. on their first time I'm like bro you. know there's something there like you're. a true [ __ ] comedy fan you're like a. comic at heart like just keep [ __ ]. trying it I was like I'll keep throwing. you up on stage that's beautiful but you. know I also told him like is he still. doing it yeah he's been doing it a few. months now but I tell him like you got.

to hit Mike's though when we're at home. like I'm not just going to [ __ ] right. throw you on stage so you can get babied. by my crowds cuz you know what I mean. that's kind of he's got even more of a. lucky break than you got yeah right yeah. cuz you're throwing him up in front of. packed houses yeah yeah but he'll go up. there and won't take the mic out of the. stand sometimes and I get so jealous I'm. like you're [ __ ] you're doing good. this early on and you're not taking the. [ __ ] mic out like a man he was up. there like he look so cool he looked. like [ __ ] nor McDonald with his body. moov he's. like well he's a comedy fan you know so.

if you're a comedy fan you're watching. like uh do you know Elanor carrian no. she's hilarious she opens up for Dice. Clay all the time she was a waitress at. The Comedy Store forever forever we. always knew her as a waitress and then. uh she was a pro wrestler for a while. she did like pro wrestling we all went. to see her she was at the Forum she was. a Easy Rider. yeah yeah yeah bro she was like a. motorcycle lady she would [ __ ] crush. a pool ball in her hand in the [ __ ].

intro video was hilarious she's really. funny but anyway and then she started. doing standup and we were like oh you. were always a comic you just never did. it and she's great she headlines now. [ __ ] bad it's like but we we knew her. for like 10 years as just the cool. waitress she was just our friend our. friend the cool waitress but she was. always like a good judge of talent you. know someone come in from out of town. she was like like the first person I go. to yeah some people know man some people. how was that how was that guy she pretty. good really he's good he's real I don't.

even think I have like that eye like to. be able to see somebody early on and be. like n they I think they got something. or maybe see if they make you laugh if. they make you laugh they got something. you know they be like okay you got. something you got something yeah you. know but sometimes man I don't know you. ever do that thing where you're watching. a comic and even though they say. something hilarious sometimes you don't. laugh you're just [ __ ] thinking about. what they said like dissecting it yeah. but then there's people who do just make. me laugh and I'm like holy [ __ ] I. couldn't even think about it like I. didn't even have time to think about it. it just made me laugh yeah there's some.

guy like when Hicks came along you know. Hicks came along now and all of a sudden. everybody wanted to say something it was. so interesting because before that like. even Richard Jenny he said I remember he. was talking about watching Hicks he goes. every time I watch Hicks I keep thinking. gosh I should be doing more like that. something I should really say something. cuz he would just say [ __ ] and this is. you got to realize Hicks is before the. internet okay this is Hicks was huge in.

like 88 to when did he die I think he. died in like. 93 when did Hicks. die and he was actually 95 because I. think I'd already made my way 94 right. so I'd already made my way to California. when I heard that he died need be. careful with this thing I feel like I'm. now flip the Top push the top up this. thing yeah push that over there you go. now hit that thing there you go. technology it's crafty shout out to.

calbri um but Hicks was uh so this was. like there was no podcast back then. there was no audio books so when Hicks. was talking about [ __ ] he was he had. like a different base of knowledge that. he was working from than most Comics he. was like really well read he would quote. gnome Chomsky you know he would he he. had material that was like who's that no. chsky he's a linguist who is.

uh very famous public intellectual who. used to have like debates with people on. television he's like one of the most. measured and interesting people from. like the 1960s and the 1970s on foreign. policy and all kinds of uh. interesting interesting things but the. point is like Hicks had this he knew. more about more things than other Comics. did and when he talked about things when. he talked about like the scams of war. and you know and what the [ __ ] is going.

on and in society it was like wow this. guy's like super insightful and then. everybody wanted to be so insightful too. so there was a bunch of hick clones so. there was a the punchline in Atlanta. there was a green room and a bunch of. people sign the walls in the green room. and [ __ ] you know you know how those are. and then this one thing just said quit. trying to be. Hicks and I was like oh and when Jamie. moved the club he said he was going to. save that for me but I don't know what. happened with that I'm like that would. be a beautiful piece of ancient comedy.

history you yeah got to be you yeah but. that was there was a lot of hickie. clones a lot of guys who wanted. everybody to think they were really. smart but Hicks was really smart like he. wasn't trying to get people to think he. was really smart he was really smart and. he just like had thoughts that he wanted. to get out and there was no podcast back. then so all his thoughts he had to like. all his ideas and philosophy he had to. get out in comedy so it was like deeper.

than other comedians it was it was very. interesting and you know some Comics. think it wasn't as funny as other Comics. like okay yeah he's not not as funny as. Kennison but he had he had some. fascinating points that made you think. and you left the show and you like you. were more uh you were stimulated in. different ways it was interesting and it. was funny it was very interesting though. that's that's a [ __ ] that's what like. we were talking about earlier that's a. dope part about comedy and watching. different people's style if you're like.

a true comedy fan but you can appreciate. different forms of funny yeah I love all. kinds of funny I love like Jim Gaffigan. funny I love Nate baratti both those. guys are squeaky clean Brian Regan's. hilarious squeaky clean you can take. your grandma to see Brian Regan you know. you never have to worry about nothing. and hilarious and then murder I would. like I try I try not to watch too much. standup I I feel like all I all I'm. doing is stand up I don't want I love it. I'm like obsessed with it but sometimes. you know you still need like other [ __ ].

yeah right but I could sit down for. hours on YouTube watch the same videos. over and over again like the two Comics. that I feel like even if I never got to. see anybody else perform but if I just. these two Comics alone Dave Chappelle. and Mitch Hedberg oh yeah those two are. like that's it that's it for me I well. they both move at a slower pace too. which like fits your style you know I. see that and Mitch Mitch hegberg was he. was so good at non seers you have one.

non seor into another non seor in my. opinion that's like the purest form of. joke telling yeah there's just all jokes. the only information in what he's saying. is for the joke yes like there's no. right there's nothing to even learn from. it nothing just jokes just pure for the. sake of the laugh yeah yeah I feel like. right now in the setup I'm doing right. now on the road my first 10 minutes are. like that and then the rest is me just.

kind of I don't know still working out. the. wrist but some of it could could I could. I could talk about some [ __ ] that some. people take serious but even on the [ __ ]. that that like if I talk about a issue. it's never like a let me like it's never. like a smart thing it it cuz I I mean. I'm still learning a lot of [ __ ] so I. feel like my comedy is very much just me. being like yo I don't know what the [ __ ]. this is about but here's what I think. like I don't know yeah right like Latino. Republicans look weird yeah like that's. just what I think it just looks weird.

man the. [ __ ] yeah you're allowed to have those. opinions man right they need to relax. Cubans are feisty people though people. message me sometimes like you have a. platform oh you got to be careful you. got to use a platform for good oh no you. no I don't my platform's for joking yeah. shut up don't tell me how to use my. platform yeah you you get a platform go. talk to a politician I don't know. exactly you can't tell someone what they. have to use their platform or shut your. mouth people are crazy yeah that's not. your job also like I'm not even saying. the [ __ ] I'm saying is like right or.

wrong I could be [ __ ] up we'll see. you know you're trying to be funny yeah. that's it in the years to come we'll see. the mistakes I'm making but I'm letting. you know right now I'm definitely making. some mistakes out here like [ __ ] get off. my back bro we're still making mistakes. every time I have a new bit I'm making. mistakes yeah every time I'm working on. a new bit it's like where is this thing. going got to try it a bunch of different. ways and some ways you're like yikes. yeah do it that way that's [ __ ] it. sounds terrible back up don't say it. that way I like you that's your that's. your waiting ring yeah so it's uh.

silicone you're one of those dudes you. wear jewelry at all or not um I'll wear. I have a real ring anytime I see a dude. with like those rings I'm like that guy. knows how to fight that guy knows. Jiu-Jitsu or something you know that's. have you ever seen what happens to when. you get your finger caught in your ring. and doing something like Jiu-Jitsu uhuh. it's called sheathing horrible injury. she thing sheathing where it takes the. skin off of the meat of the bone so the.

meat and the skin pull up and the. wedding ring digs right down into the. bone and tears everything apart oh [ __ ]. bro see that that's what happens with. wedding ring injuries what is that white. is that like a string the ligament the. LI a ligament I thought they tied it up. that [ __ ] is gone son and there's a. bunch I know a dude who had that happen. was a wedding ring he was doing. Jiu-Jitsu he has his wedding ring on. shouldn't have got married should have. wore a [ __ ] stupid ass ring should. have just done Jiu-Jitsu mine is uh.

silicone but I have a regular one too. but this is like if I do I could lift. weights with this you know do you wear. the regular one when you go out like or. something like that good Rolex nice ring. yeah I I like I don't know I bought this. little chain I always wanted like a. little gold chain that's a nice size. gold chain it's pretty look I think it's. flexy enough yeah so she got a little. cash you I mean I going to buy a big one. eventually like a rapper like just. [ __ ] huge fat one yeah and I and I. will wear it to like a club one night. and just W let the eagle come out a bit.

but I feel like I feel like I try I try. my best not to let the eagle come out. yeah what's the eagle you know like the. eego like your ego like some I don't. know I guess it depend yeah sometimes. show your feathers I want to show my. feathers I get it I never been like a. nightclub guy like to go out I used to. go with my buddy when we were younger he. started doing the video iography and. [ __ ] but there was a comedy club down. the street from like the club scene in. Dallas so whenever the shows would be.

done whatever I'd walk down the street. just dressed like just left Walmart or. some [ __ ] and I just help my buddy carry. like camera equipment or just hang out. with him have a beer and I I'd see guys. just flexing hard you know local dope. dealers or guys that work n95s but. they're in there just trying to show out. you know and it's crazy it's crazy that. that's the place to like [ __ ] prove. yourself and everybody wanted to be in. there man like that club culture was. [ __ ] nuts to me i' I'd stand outside.

with this guy named Jojo he's a door guy. he looks like a Buddha huge he's a he's. Mexican but his eyes can't even open. anymore they gave him a hoodie with a. Buddha on it and it said JoJo. staff and there'd be guys just trying to. come in like what's up bro like can you. I'll give you 100 bucks you let us in. and they be like all right well you guys. get in and then sometimes they'd leave a. guy behind I remember there was a guy. every like every hour there was one guy. at least for every hour that they'd be. like well not you because last week you. were in here starting [ __ ] and they'd be.

like come on man come on man let me in. and his boys would leave him behind I'm. like first of all why do you hang out. with these people they just left you out. literally out in the cold you can see. our breath I'm like what the [ __ ] are. you doing bro go to another club go find. new friends like that's crazy and and. they sit there like come on man come on. man it's like crazy that they want to be. in there then when they're in there it's. all about the guy who has the section. the piece of floor that's elevated 6 in. higher than the rest of it on the couch. oh like bottle service bottle service. the guy who has a bottle guy showing up.

people start throwing money and the. right and I was in there I was you I was. in there like a nobody just watching. like I just watch like what the [ __ ]. what is it and then one. day uh we started I started getting to. tour like is my sh still L yeah you got. it we started getting to tour of October. 2022 right I didn't go out do nothing. like that if I would go out go to dive. bars I started going to bars in New York. with my buddies out there just [ __ ]. dive bars I fell in love with that [ __ ]. drinking in some place some shitty place.

till 4:00 a.m it was fun but on New. Year's was my first show back home and. it was my first time settling out back. home and just I was like I'm G get it. out I'mma do that what I saw them do and. how they used to [ __ ] on me I'm going do. that tonight on New Year's night I'm GNA. go to a club with my friends I'm going. get a bottle and I'm going just go all. out see what see what it feels like. and it was it was [ __ ] awesome for. like an hour and then people start. trying to like test.

you and I'm like nah bro I'm not I'm not. going to get into [ __ ] over this [ __ ]. 6x6 foot piece of real estate that I'm. never going to own like how are they. testing you oh they start trying to. stand on your section so you're standing. on the main floor right but if you take. one step back you're 6 in elevated on. this other little platform here which is. my section that I paid like 300 bucks. for for the night and you got to like. tell them bro get off my section or you. just get you just get more strangers on.

your section oh no right and they're. doing it on purpose cuz it's like this. ego like I'm the man in here oh no you. know what I mean so yeah so it was fun. for a minute but I'm like nah I'd rather. not do that D I rather not do that so. after that I I if I do go to clubs or. bars I'll never buy a section again I'm. not going to pay extra money for. elevated floor just so people can. [ __ ] try to like I'm the man I'm the. man like if I'm going to go out there. I'm going just get drunk might do some. shrooms I'm going to have a good time no.

matter where the [ __ ] I'm at like I. think you're better off in a dive bar. with your. sensibilities yeah this the the reason. why people do that is because they don't. have other things going on the reason. why someone wants to be the guy with the. corner or the 6 in elevated and wear all. the gold chains and the big watch and. all the jewelry and [ __ ] it's cuz that's. like the way you stand out I'll tell you. what I'm going to do though I'm still. going to go back and [ __ ] on these. people don't get me R but I'll tell you. how I'm going to do it how you going to. do it I'm going to buy the 1989 Michael.

Keon. Batmobile And when they see me pulling. up to that in the club or leaving in. that how can you top that you did. whatever you had to do in the club you. threw your money you looked good for the. night but your girl's probably going to. want to go home with Batman you. know I bet that car drives like [ __ ]. probably but what does that car look. like pull up the Michael Keaton. Batmobile. I don't even remember what it looked. like is that what it looks like yeah. I'll paint it myself too that's been one. of my dreams is to paint the bat take it.

back that looks pretty dope pretty sick. right that thing's amazing that's. amazing does someone make that no oh. someone makes that at the pet yeah but I. bet you get someone to make that what it. is bro that's what you should do don't. buy thata they would never sell that one. it's a 67 impal okay it's based off of. it bro oh [ __ ] I love Impalas I never. knew no wonder I like drives like [ __ ]. you got to put a you got to do something. with that suspension you got to send. that [ __ ] to roster shop I bet roster. shop could make you a Batmobile yeah.

100% I'm down or someone like that like. someone who does like custom work. there's some dudes out there look at. those buttons pure Vision I could see uh. Steve stro making can you go back to the. to the buttons the panel what time what. time it was like my first time going to. Las Vegas and it was also my first like. heavy heavy mushroom trip I got in the. front seat of the taxi cab cuz my. friends are big guys like on the heavy. side so I couldn't fit in the back with. them I got in the front and I was just. tripping really hard the whole front.

looked like all that was tripping hard. the taxi cab in the taxi cab oh so like. the CB Radio and all that [ __ ] yeah it. looked like you were in the Millennium. Falcon almost yeah whenever I look at a. a pilot like if you get to look and you. get on a plane you peek through where. the pilots are see all that [ __ ] they. got imagine if the pilot died you had to. figure those things out all these. buttons up here buttons down there [ __ ]. that's too many buttons too many buttons. how do they I I always like every time a. pilot lands like you can't see that like.

I don't know man Pilots Landing scare. the [ __ ] out of me it should flying just. scares the [ __ ] I do want to learn to. fly though but I want those little boat. the little ones that you can land on. water but I heard those crash a lot I. bet they do I bet they do I've heard. flown in those before you but have you. flown once no no no I've a been a. passenger in one of those is scary is it. bumpy is it a bumpy right yeah we got we. flew into Alaska and landed on a. lake oh [ __ ] yeah we were camping in uh.

Prince Edward's Island I think that's it. is yeah ises there an actual Prince on. that island I don't think so if he is. he's dead it rains there like every day. every day of the year basically every. day of the year I think it raids like. 300 days a year or something crazy like. that do you ever hate when you're like. out and about and it's raining I like. rain but I like it when I'm home well. one thing that rain does do for you if. you spend a week in the rain when you. get back home especially like somewhere. like California where it's like sunny. it's like oh my god it feels amazing it.

feels amazing like you don't know what. the sun really feels like until you've. been like dumped on in a tent every day. for a week all right it's you're so cold. never dry out that I think I need that. cuz right now I'm sick of the sun [ __ ]. the. sun it's because you live in a place. that has great weather yeah California. that's the number one thing people get. spoiled by is that weather that. weather's perfect that's why everybody. moved there initially to do films. because they could do movies out there. and it was never raining you never had. to like if you had an outdoor scene and.

it rain you were [ __ ] you have a. favorite movie a favorite one no we. about a top three I don't think I do at. least for the week you know they change. well this week right now it's high. Plaines Drifter I watched High planes. Drifter the other day for the first time. in years I forgot I've never seen that. got to check it out oh high ples Drifter. I think it's from the 1970s it's one of. them Clint Eastwood movies love Clint. Eastwood bro Clint Eastwood is the type. of guy that when I first saw him on on a. movie like a old movie I was like waa. what if he's racist but even if he was I.

like he's [ __ ] badass he could be. racist all he wants I saw him on like. those old westerns shooting Mexicans I. was like [ __ ] it bro do what you got to. do what is it called again High Plains. Drifter I'm write that put the cigar in. my mouth as I write so I can feel like. I'm writing like big numbers ghost. story it's about a dude who gets spoiler. alert it's a movie from the 70s right. when what year was that movie 73 it's. about a guy who gets whipped to death. he's the sheriff of this town he gets. whipped to death and uh he comes back he.

comes back and kills everybody comes. back as Clint Eastwood oh [ __ ] and they. don't they don't recognize that it's him. cuz he looks totally different kind of. like Chucky but he appears out of. nowhere in the beginning of the movie. there like this [ __ ] heat you know. those uh heat waves that you see when. you look at a highway it's like a looks. like Mirage yeah so this heat wave he. just appeared out of nowhere in this. heat wave rides into town [ __ ] the. whole town up kills everybody and then. rides back out the same way and. disappears goes back to Hell or Heaven.

back to hell he painted the whole town. red hell yeah yeah it a it's a wild. movie but it's also a wild movie because. it's a time capsule like you have to. look at old movies and imagine you're. living in 1973 you can't look at an old. movie from 2020 and think from 2023. perspective 1970s movies are some of the. best films and I feel like if it's a. good movie I will just kind of get. captured in it and when I do go out and. about again I just like oh [ __ ] what the. [ __ ] there's some great movies I like a.

I don't I don't know there's like a. point to this movie or what's like this. is this this is high PL. Drifter the citizens of lgo didn't know. him at. all what did you say your name was. again I didn't. [Laughter]. he's a man with no name I [ __ ] love. that it's a great movie I wish I. couldn't even get introduced on stage I.

wish I could just walk on stage he kills. everybody. bro and they don't understand. it it's a wild movie look at that guy. he's like why are you killing us but. it's a wild movie because it's a movie. from 1973 like that's the whole thing. about it it's like you got to put. yourself in 1973 to really enjoy it this. might be me being too picky with movies. but it is kind of tough to watch like a. western movie these days in such high. definition like I don't know it's a. little weird man I love I love movies. from the 70s I really like um like Dog.

Day Afternoon oh yeah I like that movie. Saturday Night Fever oh man that's a. great movie it's a little it's a little. too intense when like John Travolta's. character is just like what is that what. is her name that that girl that ends up. getting like kind of raped by those dude. not kind of she got raped and I forget. her name and he's all like you see is. that what you wanted all like oh [ __ ]. bro she just got raped like for her or. something and then and then his friend. falls off the bridge and all the. attention goes to that I like hey they. just raped that chick so that part of.

the movie is a little like off to me but. I'm like I don't know I don't know what. it's a depressing movie yeah but the. beginning is dope as [ __ ] yeah well it's. dope as [ __ ] cuz you're also realizing. that those people are doing the exact. same thing that people are trying to do. at the club sitting on that platform. they're trying to show out and they're. trying to show out by dancing I'm just. intrigued by club culture in general man. maybe that's why I like that movie so. much cuz that whole that guy's whole. thing is like was just showing up and. dancing better than anybody yeah yeah. being the man at the club being the man. yeah when you saw him dance like oh my.

God look at him go yeah and you know. what though when I the part that really. made me feel like look at him go is the. the beginning of that movie he's just. like walking and he gets two pizzas and. Fs them together then he sees a shirt. he's like I'mma put that shirt on layway. I'm going to come back for it I'll be. like hell yeah that's life right there. give me some give me some volume. [Music]. This Is The Life Joe Rogan smoking a. cigar watching 7s.

movies look how good he. looks when he walks he's. dancing I mean that dude is dancing when. he walks look at he's like hey hey girl. ah never mind hell yeah that's life you. know what a great song. too oh yeah cuz that's song is really. that song is what the movie is all about. I mean they're just trying. to look how handsome he was back thing.

godamn John. TR two slices at the same time the. little go chain that's what inspired me. to get the go chain of John trola you. know little fizzz little. [Music]. flash it's a great movie but it also. gave me a lot of anxiety what year was. that movie I think 76 I don't know that. 77 I'm guessing I feel like it's uh 77. yeah you ever hear the story oh sorry. what are you say no I was I was 10 years. old when that movie came out and I.

remember getting anxiety about being an. adult yeah yeah because I remember they. didn't know what the [ __ ] they were. doing with their life they just dancing. everybody's falling apart and people are. dying I feel like all all life is is. people just going with it yeah nobody. really knows you know didn't have any. [ __ ] avenues like where do you go. what do you do oh I heard uh I heard h. Honduras Honduras there's no like. addresses I could be wrong maybe they. have them by now but they don't have. addresses they don't have like uh how.

you get mail so so the mailman just. knows where you live you think I'm. making this up I like I is that like one. town in Honduras or the whole country. that seems I think it's a lot of towns I. could be wrong I could but here's like. from the stories I've heard so my my son. I have a four year-old son right his mom. is half Honduran his mom though has. never met her biological father but my. son's Grandma you know obviously knows. who this guy is she would tell me these. stories cool lady man she was telling me. how like when she was I think she was.

pregnant or when her when my son's mom. was a baby she went to Honduras cuz her. baby daddy had gotten deported whoa. yeah and she didn't have Republican now. no I'm kidding uh she Republican I don't. know but she went to hondur to like I. guess be with the guy or at least look. for the guy I don't know she says it's. like crazy dangerous with like the. majority of the people walking around. with machetes whoa um and I could be. getting I could be mixing it up because. I've also heard stories about.

salvadorians I just found a story that. confirms sort of what you just said yeah. really what does it say someone on trip. advisor just says I'm trying to find uh. help for my husband to get his US Visa. needs his mom street address in. cholka and then someone responds and. says very few streets have formal names. it's common to see addresses such as ex. neighborhood red house behind the church. or across from the V SPO so if you know. the name or someone can help you got to. be a skilled [ __ ] mailman right when.

do you think they first like when they. first started making towns when was the. first dude to say this is uh Mike's Lane. it had to it had to be a [ __ ] fed up. mailman it had to be a mailman who just. was like I got to get in charge of this. town to [ __ ] figure out these. problems right what would they do before. a mailman before there was the mail. memory no they had to get letters to. each other somehow I mean I know they. use Ravens oh that's pretty cool send. the Ravens game of thrones you know life.

has gotten way too comfortable these. days man we need to go back to like. where you had to learn to communicate. with Ravens wolves in the street wolves. in the street mushrooms in religion. mushrooms in the church wolves in the. street that's my next [ __ ] special. right there not a bad thought but a lot. of people are gonna die I think we. peaked somewhere in the 90s I think that. was enough technology technology wise. yeah like that was enough Comfort things. were easy enough you know we could. caught people you know.

FaceTime yeah but the internet is the. most important thing that's ever. happened to people think Egypt started. Mail system oh wow ancient Egypt wow. 2,400 BCE when pharaohs used couriers to. send out decrees throughout the. territory of the state the earliest. surviving piece of male is also Egyptian. which dates back back to 255 BCE. recovered from the boy try saying that. word I bet when they did inv Street say.

that word here Ox hus hus oxin oxin cus. Ox. reinus Ox reinus what do you think Jamie. I think the second one he said was. probably the best if you click on it. does it tell you how to say oxus oxin. oxus oxus oxus it might be some weird of. saying it you. know is it like a a Google for the. word okay let's see if you can see how. to say it how do you say.

it does it tell you. oxus. oxus oxar rinkus it's Greek interesting. oxar rinkus yeah taxes though I think. it's the oh wow you think you could. impress like a scholar type girl with. that word nope hey Bab oink you don't. want to impress anybody that's impressed. by big words you don't want to impress. them they're so stupid they're impressed. by big words I I have heard too that.

like the I guess like the most. intelligent people the most polite way. of communication the most intelligent. way of communication is just making sure. they understand what you're saying so if. you say it in the simplest words that's. technically the more intelligent route. the more polite route right because you. know sometimes people are [ __ ] with. you they're using words that you know. are not common words yeah and you have. to go I always ask what do does that. mean yeah you got to ask what that means. you don't know what it means cuz some. people pretend oh yeah I know what that. mean it's like the club [ __ ] they're. showing off the Rolex but there but they.

don't have a Ric they're showing off the. big word you ever see Dennis Miller's. actm Dennis Miller was a killer back in. the day and Dennis Miller like his part. of his comedy that was very different. from any anybody else's comedy is really. obscure references to like you know. ancient literature and [ __ ] early. rulers and like OB Q are like people. were laughing they didn't even know what. the [ __ ] they were laughing at like it. was like weird references like like that. you had to be very [ __ ] smart and.

well read to know I don't even know if. he knew him see what I'm saying but that. was part of the style I like that like. he was a smooth intelligent guy that was. talking down to you that's pretty I mean. but it was funny it was funny material. was good [ __ ] if you got them you got to. flex them sometimes you know I guess but. it becomes a thing right that's what. you're doing and then that takes people. out of like then it's never really you. you're doing this thing yeah you know.

yeah I think I know which is okay too. like it's all okay like carrat Top's. great pull out props is it funny yeah. great it's great but it's it's very. different yeah very different than Mitch. Hedberg it's very different than Richard. prior like it's all great it's it's all. but it's everybody's got their own way. that they want to do it and that's one. of the cool things about comedy is like. you can't tell you can kind of give your. friends advice you can say hey man like. maybe you should slow your words down so. people can understand you but everybody.

does it different everybody does it. different everybody does it you got to. find out how you do it it's got to some. somehow or another match your. personality for real it's got to be the. most the best way you can do it and for. some people it's a character some people. they create a character and they go on. stage with it that's great too it's like. what what do they call it finding your. voice yeah well dice dice be became dice. dice was Andrew Silverstein and his. standup in the early days he used to do. a Travolta impression it was amazing he.

had an amazing Travolta impression he's. an incredible like uh impersonator he. does amazing Impressions but he just. never does them and then he would do. this character called The Dice Man and. this character was the funniest part of. his act it was so funny and that's when. he' do all those Rhymes and [ __ ] and. this guy would be this [ __ ] wild dude. from Brooklyn and then he just became. dice I saw him perform live at hyena oh. nice it was [ __ ] awesome yeah dice is. awesome I was I was a fan of dice when I.

was 19 years old so for me to be friends. with him now just trips me out all the. time whenever I'm around him trips me. out I I was it was I was 19 years old. and I was parked in a car in front of my. house with this girl I was dating and we. were just listening to I had a cassette. player in my car and we were listening. to dice and we were both howling. laughing just howling laughing back then. like a lot of the comedy that I would. listen to I'd listen to girl with girls. I was dating you know it was a fun thing. to do like hey you want to listen some. comedy and we'd sit down there and back.

then you there was no internet man you. had to put a [ __ ] record. on and you'd listen to an old Richard. prior album you know and me listening to. dice with this girl like just how I. never even thought about doing comedy at. that point that was just fun it just to. me it was just like this is hilarious. and so now I'm friends with him so weird. it's F that's a badass feeling though. it's crazy I get a text message from. dice every now and again I'm like Jesus. Christ that's Dice Clay hell yeah it's.

wild I I I feel that I think especially. when you're young like if you're 19. years old you're a fan of someone and. then as a grown man you're you're their. friend is odd I'm a big um I'm a big. Mark Norman fan I love Mark Norman I. always watch his Clips like huge fan and. then um I got to like open for a meet. him he was like super cool as [ __ ] you. know what I mean just hung out whatever. we got to do B's like tour he helped me. write a bit like the [ __ ] was like. unreal I was like holy [ __ ] like just. watching this dude you know right right.

now you're friends with them yeah yeah. hey it's cool right now I just. remembered when we're watching that John. Travolta stuff and you said he did an. impression. um I don't know I I heard this story I. don't know if it's true or not but I. heard that um when John travolto was. like blowing up right right after like. Saturday Night Fever right. um I heard that Freddy Prince like ran. into his apartment with like a crossbow. or something you ever hear that Freddy.

Prince pulled a gun on somebody or maybe. it was a gun maybe I just imagined it. was a. crossbow actor Freddy Prince says actor. Jimmy Walker says Freddy Prince once. tried to kill John travolto Jesus. Christ you got do got it was a crossbow. yeah yeah oh my God oh my God sometimes. you got to do what you got to do you got. to pull a crossball people so he talked. about it during the comedy show uh The. Comedy Store documentary series Walker. claims that Prince called him one day. and announced we got to kill John trol.

he says I'm gonna kill this guy I'm the. biggest star on TV the good times star. 73 recalled I said well a lot of people. are on TV I'm on TV Walker said Prince. shot back you're not bigger than me man. I'm the biggest guy I'm the best guy. everybody knows me I'm the funniest guy. oh my God he was. crazy man when I started going up at. hyena some of the people people that. would work there would be like you. remind me of Freddy Prince so he fired. three arrows into John Travolta's door. oh my. God oh my God that's hilarious that's.

what John Travolta said when it was. happening he said oh my God oh my God. that's crazy he shot himself when he was. 22 years old man Freddy Prince yeah oh. [ __ ] I didn't know that yeah I I knew I. knew it I was a kid back then but my. grandfather used to love that show uh. Chico and the Man he was on there yeah. that was his show that was a show that. blew him up bro he blew up on television. he was like 20 years old years old he. had a sitcom there uh you can find his.

clips on YouTube I like I love comic. here's a good comic what was his uh what. how old was he in um when he did Chico. and the. Man my grandfather loved sford and Sons. Chico and the Man and the and uh um All. in the Family didn't look 22 though he. looked older I feel like back then. people just looked older quicker died 22. he did it that was his third season so. he would have started at 19 holy [ __ ]. Bro wow people used to age faster for.

sure oh yeah you ever seen that thing. when they show like pictures of like. Archie Bunker and Edith Bunker and you. find out how old they really were yeah. he does not look like 22 that looks like. a 35y old man yeah right at least now I. feel like and half away she's I don't. know how old she is but she looks 19. yeah some of those ladies are keeping it. together now yeah even even the guys and. there's all those conspiracies they're. like they children's blood Illuminati. blood I put checkerboard flooring Chrome. on the floor of my special and people.

keep thinking like Freemason like they. got him my God I just like Checker B. flooring bro I went to a satanic wedding. with Duncan. Trussell Duncan Trussell he has this. character called little hobo and little. hobo is a puppet and he brings little. hobo out and he tells everybody that you. know his grandfather just died he left. behind this puppet and he fu [ __ ]. it's a satanic puppet this a it's one of. the funniest bits I've ever seen in my. life it's an amazing bit so he does this. this this guy who is like uh Anton.

L's um grandson I think they're. satanists and so they hire Duncan to do. uh this routine at a satanic wedding I. go to the satanic wedding and I take a. picture with this dude and to this day. people think I'm a Satanist now cuz I. was like [ __ ] yeah like I was like is so. ridiculous they're just silly people I. mean I don't know if they're doing like. real satanic [ __ ] when we're not around. but like I was like I expected it to be. like I wanted to just experience it yeah.

so we went we got barbecued we were off. the rails we were in another dimension. we were looking at life through like a a. a water covered shower door like it was. like everything was very strange and so. to me watching Duncan do this little. hobo routine in front of all these. [ __ ] satanists it was just wild but. it was hilarious it was a fun time but. they were just like I don't know what. their thing is Duncan says they're just. hedonists they don't F any rules and.

that's what they think of as Satanism. but you know maybe they do some creepy. [ __ ] like I bet you even in the religion. of worshiping Satan there's like. different forms of it like I bet you I. bet you even there just like you're not. doing it right this is how you do it. right there's probably like hardcore. satanists who really are out there. murdering homeless folks and then. there's other people that are like you. know just like dressing up like devils. and yeah I remember see some [ __ ] like. on TV one time where they're like. there's rules to it like to a certain. like they're like if you if you're.

Satanist Satanist there's like their own. Ten Commandments like you're not. supposed to kill animals unless it's. like necessary for food oh really yeah. like never harm like children or women. or some [ __ ] like they have like rules. that even the devil's like all right bro. this is even too far I don't know we'll. find out when we get to hell what was. who was the guy that uh stumbled upon. that uh Satanist place in the middle of. the woods remember there's that one dude. that we had on oh and there was a.

there's this guy who used to work for. NASA who was a a real Satanist like in. the Church of. Satan and this abandoned place where. this guy used to do his research at. someone went to visit it who was it but. this guy like. was it python. Cowboy but like what time frame is this. that he works at Nasa like did he he. help get to the moon 1960s 1950s or.

1960s I think the 50s it was in the 19. let's go back and find out I think it's. crazy if this is one of the guys that. helped us get to the Moonlight but bro. this guy used to wear like the outfits. and everything like there's photos of. him like at a real SNS and like some. nerdy glasses he was like an open. Satanist like you could kind of be an. open Satanist still be a rocket. scientist in the 1960s they hadn't. figured out that that was kind of [ __ ]. up. yet there was a lot of [ __ ] that they. hadn't figured out by then well you know.

the the rocket scientists that we got. most of them came from Nazi Germany oh. [ __ ] I didn't know that there's a thing. called Operation Paperclip in an. Operation Paperclip the United States. acquired all of Germany's rocket. scientists including Werner Von braa who. so who's this cat Jack Parsons Jack. Parsons. says his father John Parson so go on. that photo there that's him dressed up. in the all the Satanist [ __ ] lower look. at look at that he looks like Iron Man's.

dad in the movies and the Avengers. movies this guy used to [ __ ] dress up. click on that link cuz that's the story. was this one hold on look at this. [ __ ] outfit this guy imagine this. guy's a rocketry Pioneer that's crazy. from rocketry Pioneer to deviant. occultist Jack Parsons was the ultimate. mad scientist so this [ __ ] was. like a real rocket. scientist and also a Satanist that's. nuts man crazy how do you have all this. knowledge scroll back down such an.

intelligent smart person and then you. dress so goofy me no him. oh this guy this guy well he dresses. normal unless he's doing the Satanist. thing but that's what I'm saying though. like you know how to [ __ ] you know. rock you you're you're a littleit rocket. scientist you know about rockets and. then in your free time you're like let. me put out this goofy ass get up. yeah so the 1930s when The Suicide Squad. began conducting their explosive. experiments rocket science belonged. largely to the realm of Science.

Fiction oh wow so this. guy so they were thinking it was all. horseshit it was mostly science fiction. this guy was like a legit rocket. scientist was also a Satanist so this. guy's place this python cowboy dude went. to this guy's place and he said there's. like blood splatter on the walls there. was like a chair that had like red. puddle underneath it he was like it. creeped him the [ __ ] out and he ran out. of there this is. it that guy went to his place well he. went to the fac space rocket facility.

and people were he said there was all. sorts of stuff on the wall yeah I said. there's like look they got these people. spray painted upside down crosses on the. rocks and [ __ ] I I know he had video. footage of but he said it's really. creepy so this is him when he like he's. stumbling upon like they got Latin. written on the walls and it's weird so a. lot of these places I guess these. satanists had come in and they're doing. like their little rituals in this place. little psychos earlier when I said that.

we like went too far with technology I'm. starting to take it back take it back. now I feel like hey man kill some time. on Netflix or Instagram like don't go. spray paint upside down Crossing stuff. you got yeah don't be sacrificing people. in the woods go get Disney Plus or. something yeah get Paramount plus yeah. go watch the new South Park one the. panda verse hell yeah you don't have to. but you know know there's always been. people that are like doing secret things. on The Fringe you know there's always. been people like that that are doing. like forbidden secret things in.

societies yeah little little penis. people lot that has to be what it is you. know you got you got to find something. to like obsess about you got to like. distract people from your real issue. sometimes I think there's also like. people that are in these like Elite. Circles of like world leaders and [ __ ]. like that I think they probably like to. do the creepiest most deranged [ __ ]. secretly you know like they have these. little secret societies together for. sure I think I think it's always been.

the case there's got to be some weird. [ __ ] going on too much time and money on. your hands can lead to some like how how. do I achieve the next level of being. Elite you know what I mean there was. this um guy in so like when I used to go. work at my Dad's Body Shop we stop at. this gas station sometimes and that area. was a lot of like it's like a hood area. that would neighbor like the Mansion. area so there's like a lot of Rich folk. around there too and sometimes man it'. be people doing weird [ __ ] there was a.

guy this little memory still goes. through my head not like Elite weird. [ __ ] but just weird like there was a. guy who would hold like his paintings. like from his house he had like really. nice paintings the park he he had like a. old school I don't remember what he. drove some was [ __ ] expensive I just. remember this guy's like rich just hold. like these [ __ ] paintings and just. just stand on the street like a homeless. man and he's just [ __ ] just want. everybody to see his painting yeah he's. just nuts he just he's just [ __ ] Rich. crazy guy with way too much time on his. hands and when I saw that I was like bro.

like once you reach a level of money. like you probably just do crazy [ __ ]. just for the [ __ ] out just for just. because you can you know what I mean. especially if all you do is make money. like that's what those dominatrix ladies. always say that their clients are always. these guys who like these CEOs of Mega. corporations they just want to get. pissed on and yelled at slapped [ __ ]. nuts yeah they want to get tied up and. thrown in the corner shut the [ __ ] up. they come over and kick them in the. balls say they want that bro did you uh.

you seen that movie I mean it's like. they made the movie about the movie The. Room yeah that was that Tommy Wu or. what's his name I don't remember his. name I was messing up but there's that. scene in the movie that made fun of the. movie where like Joel Rogan's character. like the director goes to the bank and. he's I want cash his check and they're. like all right yeah and he's like holy. [ __ ] it worked and the the bank teller's. telling him he's just like this guy's. bank account it's like a bottomless pit.

that amount of money has to be kind of. scary though cuz you either go make. shitty movies with your money then you. don't know what the [ __ ] you're doing. like that guy which is funny or you. probably also do scary [ __ ] like that's. a scary amount of money to have so I. know I know people who like you know. struggle financially probably like oh. man if I could just have this money if I. could just have that money like yeah. life would be easier but if there's no. challenge there's no maze to run through. what are you really going to do with. that much free time I'll tell you what. you're going to do you're going to get. in a homemade submarine and die in the. ocean you see what I'm saying like yeah.

those dudes that's exactly what that was. like that was. $250,000 a ticket to get in that. submarine and die why and the submarine. had no windows right well it had like. little small Windows you don't really. see you're seeing things through a. screen he call me old school but I feel. like if I spent $250,000 on the ticket I. want like a luxurious experience I want. see the [ __ ] ocean not through a tiny. little screen I want communication with. the outside world like I don't know I am. I I do want to get rich don't get me. wrong I do want to get rich cuz I feel. like pretty soon there you know what are.

you going to buy what kind of car are. you going to get I I mean I'm not too. worried about all that I really want to. save money painting don't you want a do. I want to go to the Moon oh you're one. of those dudes yeah Elon Musk is. probably going to offer rides soon you. know 250 bucks 250,000 a ticket I think. you could already get into space for. that amount of cheddar yeah yeah I think. you can get into space for like 250 I. want to go to space like the blue origin. don't they fly people into space bro you. want to wait a few years yeah no I. definitely want them to get the Kinks.

out you know work out the glitches you. don't want you don't want to die in a. fiery ball of hell yeah crashing into. the ocean burning alive not yet uh blue. origin for suborbital flights blue. origin typically charges around 200 to. $300,000 per person the cost includes a. 1hour flight and a three-hour. preparation program for those looking to. go into to orbit blue orbit Origins. orbital launch Services range from 50. million to 100 million per. person yo that's a big difference that.

is a giant difference all right. suborbital is that good you go up for I. think they send you up for about a. minute or two and then you just float. back down back down how far do you go. what's the height what's suborbital. suborbital means you're not going out. technically of the range where you need. to go you're going very very high that's. like where they say. shner to I is that where they send the. guy remember the guy who Sky Dove from. the outer layer wild [ __ ] for. Red Bull whatever yeah that's my friend.

yeah that's Andy stump man yeah he's a. psychopath was it Andy that did that's a. different guy Andy did but Andy did. something similar he was on a [ __ ]. plane so there's suborbital right here. okay this is suborbital so they're still. floating so they're above Earth they get. to look down they're weightless look at. William Shatner he's like I'm too old. for this [ __ ] but you don't you don't. get way up there where you're looking. down on the ball I don't even think. that's fun right there cuz are you even. it's like I feel like the Earth is so. bright you can't even see the stars and. [ __ ] you definitely probably won't see a.

star there no you don't see the stars. that's not worth I'm not doing that but. I think to see the stars you got to go I. don't yeah I don't know they even see. them in the spaceship you got to go way. the [ __ ] up there I want to go into like. the abyss you probably do when you're on. the dark side don't you think Jamie yeah. but how many no one's been there for a. long time right but you go over there. for a whiz right like it's real fast. you're going like 177,000 M an hour. right isn't that the space station yeah. I honest I'm I mean we'd have I could. look we have to look into this I think.

the only star you could probably see is. the. sun it's going to have to when you're on. the other side changing my. financial you got to get 100 million. bucks bro you got to go way up I wonder. how much it cost for them to send me to. like a warm hole or a black hole well. you don't want to do that n n no if if. I'm like imagine you come back and. you're in the Mongol days you're like. [ __ ] what is the Mongol days. like when gask Khan ruled the Earth and. killed 10% of the population that would. suck it suck took I don't know I'd hope.

not even to come back though I just go. somewhere else maybe there's like. another planet Another Universe another. dimension yeah yeah I don't maybe. remember when Bradley Cooper went. through it and then he came back and. Earth was like saved but they're like. living in these like cylinder fourth. dimension things or something like that. is it Interstellar you see Interstellar. oh that wasn't Bradley Cooper that was. Matthew MCC right Matthew MCC I always. get this name was confused yeah R Cooper. will get his chance too but yeah Matthew. MCC yeah that was a great movie bro even. he got back in the ship and was like nah.

I'm out so yeah okay during Space Walk. in Earth's Shadow astronauts Can See. Stars once their eyes adjust to the. darkness holy [ __ ] your eyes have to. adjust to the darkness of space but that. space walks in Earth's Shadow I don't. think that's the same they don't go. behind the moon though Space Station. habitable artificial satellite and low. earth orbit that serves a space. environment that ship that trip I've. told you about a few times that uh Steve. aoke supposed to go on it's supposed to. be like one of the first man trips back.

around the moon since Steve yoke don't. die on the moon bro I've said this to. him before let me say it again don't do. it buddy that guy is [ __ ] badass he's. badass he's a cool dude too you know a. lot the moon he's very cool but I don't. on crew for first mission to the Moon. Steve you want to be on the 100th. Mission but by the way way I think they. did a hundred of those submarine Dives. before that one exploded oh [ __ ] I think. they did a bunch of them damn it wasn't. like they were the first people they. probably go you got the Kinks worked out.

I'll try this [ __ ]. out I've done it a hundred times what. could go wrong [ __ ] up even car. accidents happen every day well if you. send the same thing down there a 100. times you also got to think how many. times can it go before it caves in have. you guys pressure tested that. [ __ ] at 30,000 ft below the. Earth that's that is whereever however. deep you're going such a scary thing. about the sea it's the [ __ ]. pressure if you come up too fast you. could like get sick right you got to be. like incubated yeah [ __ ] get [ __ ] up.

are there other things like that. submarine trip available that we just. don't know about I'm sure there are I'm. sure that's not the only one right I bet. the Russians will take you down remember. that that movie where the Russian the. the Odessa files is that what it's. called yeah is that what it's called Uh. the documentary The Odessa what was that. called um but there was a documentary. where this dude they offered to sell him. a [ __ ] submarine this drug dealer. operation Operation Odessa this he goes. do you want nukes too he's like what.

what the [ __ ] nukes they offered to sell. them nukes they offered to sell him. nukes they offered to sell him a. submarine that's true freedom I guess. you know well I think if you got that. drug dealer money guy yeah operation. Odessa click on. that who made that documentary I should. have sold drugs tiller Russell that's. right tiller Russell who was a guest on. the podcast told us all about this this. is a a wild dude who's a real guy a. Russian mobster in Miami sold a Soviet. submarine to Colombian Coke Smugglers.

nice seven years ago uh filmmaker tiller. Russell uh Was preparing to meet the. former Russian mobster at the center of. Miami's craziest true CRI trime True. Crime Caper of the 90s and he was hoping. or more like praying a guard at the. prison deep in a Panamanian jungle. wouldn't screw him over yeah it's a. Amazing Story the documentary is. incredible but it's it's all true like. they really they back then after the. collapse of the Soviet Union they're. like what do you want you want to buy. nuclear bumbs we sell you nuclear bumbs.

hold on I got to write that down I got. to [ __ ] check that out Russian guy. it's a great documentary submarine col. he did an amazing job with that film too. it's like the way it puts it together. you're like what but it's all real. stories I think back then like you could. buy [ __ ] you need a. tank talk to Victor Victor can get you T. that's what I like about you big T. that's what I like about just being here. in Texas I feel like most [ __ ] you could. buy most [ __ ] you can buy Tigers out. here yeah my one of my uncles had a.

tiger but he said he got really. expensive to feed it oh I would imagine. he was down in South Texas also doing. some less than legal business and uh he. said he feeded like a lot of chickens. yeah they eat chickens whole yeah but. that's like a snack for a tiger he was. like after a while he's like it got too. [ __ ] expensive to keep it how many. chickens you got to feed a tiger in day. I would imagine like five or six. chickens at least maybe at least huge. how much room do you give the tiger to. like live you know like right that's got. to be [ __ ] up I'm not get out I'm not.

like a Peta guy or nothing but damn come. on man let the tiger like breathe like. yeah you shouldn't do that you shouldn't. have a tiger in a fence but also a tiger. in the wild is way more dangerous like. that's a dangerous thing so just let. them lose out. there raise it from like M when they're. kittens and then they just have it in. their living room I never trust it I I. know this is like old school old school. way of thinking don't get me wrong like. I have a dog I love my dog I treat him.

right or whatever you know but like it. it's just a little old school but. animals a [ __ ] animal it's a [ __ ]. animal I don't care how much you're like. no he's so friendly and we rais I'm like. bro animal is a [ __ ] animal s freed. and Roy Look at yeah they they had that. tiger forever yeah and then one day the. Tiger's like I think I want to bite bite. your neck there there's like instinct I. feel like biting your neck yeah I'm. tired of just getting fed scraps yeah. bro I want to bite your [ __ ] neck I. barely if I barely even trust my dog I.

mean I trust my dog not in every. situation every now and then I look at. him like hey what kind of dog you got uh. so I have two one is actually my dad's. and I think it's like those like [ __ ]. pit bull bullies or whatever very good. dog very very nice very gentle right but. then I also have a Rottweiler that I. left back at my grandma's I couldn't. bring him and he's sketchy and he's a. good dog I I did so much to train him. right like I read up I asked people like. uh I can I can leave him in my room all.

day he won't bite a thing he won't piss. like he'll let me know I could walk him. without a leash like he'll stay by my. side if he does get a little jumpy runs. after something he'll come back you know. but even him one day cuz cuz and I know. I know maybe you might be like oh well. Rock Wilders tend to have like bip. to them or whatever be bipolar yeah. Rottweilers bipolar they can be yeah. they can be bipolar how do they find out. I don't know I'm not a I didn't look.

that deep into it you know what I'm. saying like who's the Rottweiler. psychologist has to sit down with Rusty. but even he tried to attack one of uh. one of my sisters once out of nowhere. man and he's he's around my sister every. day he's like a year old around this. point he's around my sister every day. and my dog doesn't bark he's he's never. I've I've heard him bark twice but he. didn't bark he growled for two seconds. and then jump and luckily I was I was. already holding him he scratched her he.

didn't get to bite her or nothing Jesus. Christ yeah but like even you kept him. yeah but we just stopped letting them. around like people oh Jesus yeah but I. kept that's a dangerous dog it is he's. you you know Biden's dog bit 11 people. Joe Biden's dog bit 11 people Joe. Biden's dog bit 11 people Secret Service. guys yeah yeah dude I'd be like [ __ ]. this job this [ __ ] dog's biting. people and this is like the second dog.

that he's had that bites people Joe. Biden's dog bites me I'm turning. Republican Biden's dog Commander. involved in more White House biting. incidents than previously. reported this [ __ ] dog secret. Services acknowledged 11 reported biting. incidents involving its Personnel Source. spoke with CNN the real number is higher. and includes executive resident staff. and other White House workers those. bites have ranged in severity from one. known bite requiring hospital treatment.

to some requiring attention from the. White House medical unit to some going. unreported and untreated while the first. family works for solutions to the. ongoing issue CNN has learned Commander. is not on the White House. campus yeah there's a real [ __ ]. solution he's not even holding right on. the leash it's called bullets like you. you developed a dangerous animal that. wants to bite people that's a [ __ ] up. dog take that dog out that's a [ __ ] up. dog somebody did something bad to that.

dog or that dog was ignored or not. trained or something went really wrong. that's a working dog when my dog. scratched my sister right he was able to. get a little CL after that [ __ ] man I. did start to like try to research like. why the [ __ ] do dogs just flip or what. you know could there be another reason. apparently like dogs will remember a. traumatizing moment for the rest of. their lives did your sister do something. to the dog so now I'm wondering right. like if her or maybe another kid maybe. on accident heard it one day when trying.

to paint like trying to pet it or. something they'll remember that [ __ ] oh. really so so if like if a cat scratched. it once Oh They'll Hate Cats Forever or. if like you know what I mean yeah. dangerous dogs are [ __ ] scary man but. dogs I have a golden retriever he ain't. biting nobody he's the worst dog for. like guard dog duty words he loves. everybody he's just a bundle of love. that's a dog you could you don't have to. worry about him around anything except. squirrels he'll [ __ ] he's he's a demon.

to squirrels I [ __ ] with cats sometimes. I know a lot of people hate cats but I'm. not like a super attentive loving person. all the time and I feel like dogs kind. of need that or they get S they. definitely do and I don't have a cat but. if you're going to go on the road having. a dog is rough like you know you're on. the road all the time that dog's going. to get ignored on the weekends also I. don't like to be that guy who like. carries around a little dog I mean. respect to the people that do but I'm. not gonna be so bring a little dog with. you on the road like a little Chihuahua. like no offense to the comics that do.

but it's kind of. girly yeah but if you know truffles. likes it like uh Peter Shaw uh the. brother of Paulie Shaw he was always. bringing his little dog to the ComEd. store dog is adorable but I don't know I. I'm not going to do it but then when I. do see not every comic I don't love. every everybody's dog you know what I. mean I like dogs I don't like. everybody's dog but there are some. Comics that I see their dog I'm like all. right that's a cool dog and then there. other comics where they have their dog. and I'm like that's gay Ron White had a.

really cool French bulldog named. mustard mustard uh got taken by a coyote. oh [ __ ] yeah that's [ __ ] up that's a. cool ass name too mustard yeah coyotes. are that's a weird little animal that. lives alongside people cuz it's really a. little wolf it's a little wolf that. lives alongside people and eat your pets. [ __ ] coyotes they're creepers I hope. the wolf I hope the Wolves got that. coyote well that's why coyotes are so. dangerous not dangerous but one of the.

interesting things about coyotes is. coyotes evolved around wolves but they. evolved around gray and gray wolves kill. coyotes they don't breed with them the. Eastern wolves like red wolves they. breed with coyotes and you get the koi. wolf it's like a hybrid wolf Coyote Not. In The West so the Western wolves they. just killed coyotes so when coyotes. would lose one of the members the female. coyotes would have more babies so when. they would call out and one of them was. missing it would send some sort of a. biological process into the female.

coyotes and they would have more pups. what the [ __ ] and then they would spread. out this Were You Raised by Wolves yeah. I had a man on the podcast named Dan. Flores he wrote an amazing book called. coyote America that I read and it's all. about the history of the coyote in North. America it's a it's in every city. coyotes are in every city in every state. and they didn't used to be they used to. be confined mostly to the west and the. Southwest but because of human beings. like moving in and killing coyotes and.

trying to force them out and then. Agriculture and all these different. things they just kept spreading out now. they're everywhere damn every city New. York City has coyotes in it for real for. real oh [ __ ] yeah we we show you some. photos coyotes in Central Park man I was. watching that movie uh collateral with. Tom Cruz great [ __ ] movie there's. like a coyote that goes in there. yeah I remember when I saw that I was. like I bet that'll happen in Cali cuz. they got like hills and [ __ ] but D now. I'm like d it could happen anywhere well. the first time I ever saw a coyote was. in '94 when I first moved to LA and I.

was staying at this place in Burbank. called the Oakwood Gardens this a place. where you when you move to a new place. they they they rented out pre- furnished. apartments so it already had a couch. already had a bed you just you bring in. your clothes you're good it's like a. hotel but you live in it it's apartment. and uh I was pulling up to the place in. my rental car and I saw song three. little dogs I was like what the [ __ ] is. that what are those things and then I. was like I close I'm like oh [ __ ] those. are coyotes in the middle of Burbank. godamn just hanging out in the street.

yeah that's one on the roof in New York. City look at that how the [ __ ] does it. even get there I don't know you ever see. those videos of uh like bears look at. that thing swimming up on the shore in. Florida oh yeah that's [ __ ] crazy a. lot of bears I'm already like you're. already trying to watch out for sharks. now you got to watch out for Bears too. to much didn't some lady get killed. recently by a bear in. Florida I think some woman got killed by. a black bear in Florida. they're there a lot of bears in Florida.

that's just that's too much I know it's. crazy Florida's got everything man they. got alligators pythons iguanas Bears. that's like getting killed by a bear at. the Mall of America like it wasn't. supposed to happen there you know what I. mean like how the [ __ ] they it end up. there imagine a bear getting in the Mall. of America and just running through. people that's a big mall. but that's M or Minneapolis right yeah. some someone's going to have a gun. someone's going to shoot how many. bullets you think it it take though to. take 9 mm depends on what kind of bear.

if it's a grizzly bear you're [ __ ] you. need something heavy you need a 45 or 10. you can't 9 millimet on enough stopping. power you really want like a 300 wind. mag you want a rifle yeah you got a bear. you want a large caliber weapon to take. that [ __ ] thing out you do not want a. bear wounded that's it's still running. at you and your bullets are going in a. couple of inches and it's just ready to. [ __ ] you up you walk around with a gun. you don't have to answer that I wouldn't. answer.

that uh but if I was around a lot of. grizzly bears I would definitely have a. gun yeah yeah I know people that go in. Grizzly country they don't bring a gun. I'm like what are you doing do you want. to die by the way of being eaten by a. giant wild dog I think it's crazy that. people like go to hikes in places where. there's. bears like I mean I get it you know what. I mean you want to experience well I. think if you live in a place like. Montana or something like that it's just. a part of the world the world has.

grizzly bears in it you know they just. they coexist with them you hope you. don't run upon a mama in her Cubs that's. the scariest thing scariest thing is. accidentally stumbling upon a mama. grizzly bear with her Cubs you ever gone. hunting yeah sure you like it I love. hunting yeah I I've never gotone hunting. but one time we were walk in through. this like [ __ ] Trail it wasn't even. like a trail we're trying to get to like. a river to go fishing mhm and they were. saying that there's like wild hogs out. there that come at you oh and I kind of.

like that like I don't know if I if I'd. want to like hunt like wait for the. animal spotted or whatever I don't I. don't know how it goes but I kind of. like the idea of like I'd have to. [ __ ] kill it if it came at me you. know what I mean then you have to eat it. too maybe I don't know start a campfire. I die if I try to [ __ ] eat an animal. that I kill I'm [ __ ] up somewhere cuz. isn't there like a certain amount of. time you have like you got to skin it. and make sure this is clean and no cross. contamination I can't even cook at home. bro. like it's not for everybody but the wild.

pig thing is is a crazy way to get into. hunting because you kind of have to kill. those they breed so often they breed. three times a year they start breeding. when they're six months old what the. [ __ ] six months old they start pumping. out little piglets I'm not one to judge. I know a lot I know a lot of teenage. parents. yeah pigs are a Scourge it's it's a. crazy animal they're everywhere too in. Texas [ __ ] [ __ ] there's so many of them. here they have to they hunt them by. helicopter there's like [ __ ] they're.

not coyotes but there's a lot of dogs. man out out there where I live out in. the country and I had to get used to. that when I first moved out there wild. dogs yeah or even like even Strays. running around there Strays and and the. people that own dogs just kind of let. them be out yeah and I had to get used. to that because I was I was just living. like in a regular [ __ ] neighborhood. hood and if I wanted to go jog sometimes. or some [ __ ] sometimes I just go out and. run one night I just started running and. I started getting chased by dogs oh [ __ ]. there was a [ __ ] dog just coming at.

me from from the everybody out there has. like a pretty big piece of land it's. like trailer homes and [ __ ] and I just. saw it leave the porch and start coming. at me but I was pretty far where I'm. like bro if I just chop if I just run as. fast as I can I think I don't think he's. going to come that far you know and then. another dog started coming I was like. what the [ __ ] so I just took took off I. took off and I finally got away like far. far and I had to call my sister to come. pick me up I'm like I can't even jog. back like I can't run back man the dogs. are probably waiting for you like that.

dude's going to come back he's tired. yeah I think they were waiting [ __ ]. Country Ass dogs well that's what. happens to people with the mountain. lines too the mountain lies see them. running and they just like where you. going [ __ ] yeah it's like their. instincts their instinct is too even I. see people run Texas appear to carry DNA. of wolf declared extinct oh [ __ ] [ __ ]. it's a Texas dog right there who there. two there were I I didn't see the what. year but there were previously red. wolves and grey wolves in Texas that are. supposedly extinct oh.

wow and so there might be still wolves. in Texas yeah when I was this other uh. is that what they think it said that. there what kind of dogs are in Texas. there's coyotes and packs of neglected. domestic dogs running around wow but. there were also I like how they say. neglected like I know they mean like. nobody's taking care of them but it also. just feels like maybe the dog wanted. attention. they've just been neglected however. Texas was once home to two wolf species. the gray wolf and the red wolf but sadly. they were hunted to Extinction in the. Lone Star State sadly if you're not a.

Rancher if you're a Rancher it's like. good yeah Jesus Christ I have a friend. who lives in uh BC like northern BC. British Columbia and they they'll. occasionally a wolf will just like. they'll have like a pack of wolves that. like takes out a calf and they'll hear. it in the middle of the night just. horrible sounds of like wolves that are. like ripping apart a cow and then you. know other people find out about it and. they have to deal with them and I ran at. a dude once at the airport and uh I. think I had like a camouflage jacket on.

or something like that and he goes are. you Hunter I go I didn't know what to. say cuz he was like a regular dude I was. like I hope this isn't an. argument I was like yeah I was up here. moose hunting and he goes he goes uh we. like to wolf hunt up here he goes yeah. uh we got a real problem with Wolves he. just starts telling me about wolves and. I go what do you do he goes well we take. like a um like a a garbage pail and we. throw scraps of meat in there and then. we freeze it and then we take it and. we'll put that in the middle of a field. and then we hide and uh if the wolves.

get desperate enough they'll they'll. smell it and they'll come to that frozen. meat and then you just take them out I. was like Jesus damn I go how many do you. kill he goes you can't even put a dent. in the population bro imagine that's. your life imagine you have to make time. during the week to go try to to put a. dent in this population can't even put a. dent in the population the Smart Ones. never fall for it cuz they they've like. been got before they saw one of their. pack get killed before that way the. [ __ ] Smart Ones don't fall for it so. wolves are smartening up to this [ __ ].

too oh they'll wait they'll wait and. then they'll have the young ones are. stupid and the young stupid ones who go. in there and get. shot the wolves are only going to get. smarter they're only going to get. smarter and eventually these wolves are. going to figure out how to [ __ ] with. your Instagram algorithm and give you. bad wolf killing techniques so you're. out there get killed by wolves yeah. they're going to do Russian. disinformation wolves are going to give. out yeah they're smart man they're smart. they're they're it's a creepy animal to. bring back cuz for the longest time they.

were like a really terrifying thing that. we had to deal with people in like. Europe they had to deal with Wolves man. I'm afraid of sharks I've never seen a. shark but just just the I don't want. even want to like I don't know maybe I'd. go in that little cage where you can be. around the Shar [ __ ] that dude they go. right through that cage they do yeah. Jamie just sent me something just Jamie. just sent me one pull it up I'm. intrigued by them but I'm also scared as. [ __ ] cuz you you can't swim that fast. want of you want to watch that from a. boat with a shotgun in your hand yeah.

[ __ ] you [ __ ] you monster [ __ ] you you. [ __ ] swimming disposal unit of I'll. have [ __ ] nightmares about sharks and. alligators I'll have nightmares where. you ever been in like where the water's. kind of like up to your knee and you. can't necessarily run too fast it's like. it's like that uncomfortable Gra [ __ ]. gator just chasing me and I'm running. through like the water I don't know what. those dreams mean that means stay the. [ __ ] away from alligator look at this. watch this Go full screen Jamie watch. this [ __ ] this [ __ ] just goes.

right through the. cage so the shark swims into the cage. and busts through the side of the cage. and then comes out the top watch this. [ __ ] is there a dude in that cage that's. the part of why I thought to the end you. have to wait for the end look at that. cuz listen to the the. [Music]. people was there anybody in there was. there anyone in there oh my. God yes there was so is the guy dead no.

the guy got out yeah I can't oh my God I. can't tell if he's bleeding on his side. though I tried to check a couple times. oh my God he seems fine cuz they're not. all reacting extra crazy and you don't. see blood oh my. God oh my God and there's the dude he's. still in there holy [ __ ] staying Cal too. I I feel like if I'm that guy and I saw. my opening to get out I would have flown. out faster than the shark just like a. [ __ ] Fish Out of Water holy [ __ ] that. guy's just calmly climbing out and he's. dressed like a seal there's the shark it.

goes right in the side God that's a big. ass shark boom it just goes right. through the cage someone flipped the top. thankfully for them oh my God look at. yeah was on his toes oh my God that's so. scary and the shark does not want to be. in there oh my god dude [ __ ] that Ralph. [ __ ] that right I want I I still want to. kind of go in one but I just want to. make sure I go around like some [ __ ]. ass sharks like some little ones like. bro I don't think I don't think they.

have any idea what the kind of power. those things have it went right through. that [ __ ] cave that's like someone. building a a fence made out of popsicle. sticks and telling you to stay out the. largest did you see that guy that was. swimming near look at the size of that. thing how big is that. one that's the largest oh my God god. well that's a I think that's a girl yeah. it is she got a booty on her ocean. Ramsey she's a famous uh shark diver oh. [ __ ] on the Instagram this doesn't say. how big it is it just says it's lar. enough Jesus Christ look at the size of.

it with record-breaking largest great. white shark look how small she is. compared to that [ __ ] shark that's so. crazy that's crazy that she's just like. holding the fin oh my God what are you. doing I guess she knows what she's doing. she's still alive Jesus Christ on that. you talk about look at the shark. vag show you the vag look get a closeup. look at that thing look at that some. people have like a commonness man they.

can go around they can go around crazy. animals and and they don't make the. animal nervous I don't have that I I I. tried to ride a horse once when I was a. kid [ __ ] horse started going crazy. everybody thought I was like Devil. possessed or something why is this horse. so cuz you're probably nervous right. yeah the horse probably felt it like oh. this motherfucker's on me he's freaked. me out I'm that guy that if you bring. your [ __ ] dog around your dog's going. to bark or some [ __ ] oh no I'm not yeah. trust me not not my dog all right my dog. will run right up to you hello you're my. new best friend that's a golden. retriever you said right I've never been.

around a golden retriever oh my God. they're bundles of love all right he. loves everybody everybody's just love he. just he'll drop on his back like CRA my. belly okay he doesn't even know you he. he loves everybody n i I hang around. people he'll change your opinion to dogs. all right I hope so yeah cuz it's not. like a Rottweiler the total opposite of. a everybody I hang around with just has. like tough guy dogs those dogs could be. sketchy and then they'll be like nah. he's fine he's yeah until he's not yeah. [ __ ] that yeah until he bites your. sister right yeah you see what I'm.

saying yeah that's what I'm saying [ __ ]. animals yeah [ __ ] animals right if there. anything we could say to end this. podcast I love animals just some some of. them you have to know what they are you. know yeah you can't pretend it's a. [ __ ] teddy bear yeah I love animals. I'm just I'm just not that person that's. going to be like [ __ ] taking pictures. with a snake at the fair you know what I. mean not me bro [ __ ] that not me one. time the fair had this like a large.

alligator though I'll pay money to see. that [ __ ] I was in Thailand once and. they let you take photos with with uh. Tigers but it's sad because there's one. way they treat you when you're with the. baby tigers so if you're with the baby. like you can get in this like pen where. these little baby tigers are and they're. little tiny tigers but but everybody's. like there watching people are watching. everything making sure nothing gets. crazy guys have sticks and [ __ ] and then. you get to like a little older tigers. and they're a little more sketched out. then they're like the people will block.

you can't take a picture sitting right. next to the little tigers you know the. ones that are like 50 60 pounds you. can't do that and then they get older. and you can take pictures with them. because they're drugged up so there. tiger that's on heroin just sitting. there like this and then people are. taking selfies with this Tiger but if. you watch that tiger the tiger is doped. up 100% % doped up that's why you can go. in there and take pictures with them and. I was like oh this is [ __ ] up like. this is sad that is pretty sad yeah it's. not like that's a pet tiger that you can. trust no that Tiger's.

like I'm sitting there just totally. drugged up those tigers are going to get. smart just like the Wolves did one day. and one day they're going to fake the. high or imagine if you cut the tiger off. and they get they start jonesing start. having [ __ ] withdraws withdraws start. getting really crazy tiger start sucking. dick for drugs wa imagine tiger suck in. your deck like please be. careful please please don't get a. flashback oh. that's all right Ral let's wrap this. [ __ ] up we're going to do a show. tonight have a good time at the.

mothership I'm excited you do bottom of. the barrel too yeah I'll do whatever man. I'm yeah do bottom of the barrel too. it's fun bottom of the barrel is uh. Brian Simpsons show so you have a. whiskey barrel and the audience will. write suggestions for material topics oh. yeah I've seen that it's great it's real. fun it's real fun Ralph it's a pleasure. thank you man thank you for having me. appreciate you being here man and uh. congratulations on everything it's. awesome to see thank you all right bye. everybody. [Applause]. [Music].