Joe Rogan Experience #2030 - Protect Our Parks 9
Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe. Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan. podcast by night all. day it starts God damn it the pun gun. boys let's go oh sunglasses they're. options ready Norman doesn't [ __ ] around. he gets here he's got them ready to go. the lights hurt my eyes well you had a. rough one last night huh ah this city. brings out the evil in It's a Party Town. it is always Party Town it's a fun town.
you guys went to see nether hour too. right yeah it was fun those guys are. cool they they're really good I only. seen them after the Vulcan shows but. this was like the first time I saw them. like their own show and they were like. oh you're crushing it Uncle laser yeah. Uncle laser got on and [ __ ] played. the harmonica I just he was a local Coke. Fe phenomenal phenomenal he defitely. local Coke Fe I thought that's all he. was lot of guys who do Coke also are. good at harmonica he's good dude I like. that guy he's Fun's funny he's fun good. energy it's like he ain't Faking It no.
he's not you know I mean that's that guy. he's a wild boy yeah I had like one. heart to heart with him and he pulled me. aside he didn't break character at all. he was like brother let me ask you. something is this go I was like oh man. you're crazy wow what a night Ric Flair. Waka Flaka Uncle laser Flair Waka Flocka. Uncle laser like a mad. crazy it's fun right it's funny too cuz. I my uncle is named Uncle laser he was a. caner hear that. namec your uncle's name was Uncle laser. yeah you an uncle laser yeah is he a.
[ __ ] American Gladiator what you do. he was a holocaust Survivor Nitro bro. did you guys hear the story about those. American Gladiators they got like no. money really yeah they got like no money. they were celebrities I know they got. they got [ __ ] they got royally [ __ ]. the Holocaust is the ultimate uh. obstacle course I was reading something. about Jamie were you the one who told me. about it Jamie yeah a documentary there. two documentaries actually gentlemen. heyy praise Allah so good so good see.
guys be bad what is this number nine 10. n nine let's [ __ ] go n let [ __ ] n. those American gladi bro that's like pro. wrestling job that's a hard ass job. that's like you're crashing into people. and stuff you're taking people down. you're CH you know you're [ __ ]. battling with big Q-tips yeah you're. taking steroids and you're just spearing. spearing strangers they beat the [ __ ]. out of some people but they didn't. really unloaded on those guys too they. were. like those women they barely got paid.
barely got paid it was NBC bro remember. that hamster wheel they would run in it. already I'm. sorry yeah one of those broke and I went. in the guy's back they said he needed 75. Stitches the hamster wheel yeah J Christ. dude damn I I used to love that uh Ninja. Warrior show watch wck fun show bro some. people are really good at that it's very. entertaining like to be really good at. that you got to be a [ __ ] athlete you. know who the best was like the 106b. women oh yeah yeah they could just hold. themselves up forever you know we found.
that on Fear Factor when we did like. these guys had a hang from a pole over. some water and the men broke way before. the women yeah well they're lighter yeah. makes sense the only thing they're. better. at they say hanging is like really good. for you just to hang I mean not every. day. that I do that every day really yeah. yeah I do that every day and then I also. have this thing that I do where I hinge. from my. waist deck yeah it's like it but you. don't go upside down from your ankles. the same company makes it but I prefer.
this one because all the weight is. literally from your waist forward you're. not holding any weight in your legs. which I think makes you more tense and. you might tense your back up with this. you just lean forward what that what is. that thing called Jamie we talked about. a gang of times the decks to the decks. too we have one of those out here that. thing is the [ __ ] that is the [ __ ] for. your back man you can also do like back. extension exercises on it but just to. hang there I hang there in the mornings. wow yeah I get in there and just I feel. everything go pop pop pop you ever put.
the wife in there and really give it to. her he easy this is a family show got. all these positions there yeah you could. do a lot with that you ever just just. like a jumping jack just like a basic. thing do I yeah no I do not do that but. it's a good move jumping jacks are. really good yeah trampoline very good. side to side [ __ ] I used to do a lot of. those a lot of side to side things yeah. till uh my last knee issue jumping jacks. is when I knew we were going to lose the. war in Iraq. videos of those guys teaching the Iraqi.
military they're like all right we're. going to do physical fitness oh like the. terrorist not the terrorists the like. Iraqi police and like the guys that were. on our sides we had our guys training. them and they would try to do jumping. jacks and it was like yeah let's watch. some of that I didn't know that they. can't do jumping jacks Isis does the uh. the bars monkey bar Monkey Bar monkey. bars hilarious the sleep you guys ever. see those videos of like kids in the. 1960s in high school doing physical. fitness yeah jacked everybody's [ __ ]. everybody's like ripped and they're all. doing Chups they're all doing monkey.
bars they're like swinging yeah they're. ripped they have 12 packs what happened. what the video G chilling I think it's. plastic well there's a lot of. preservatives in the F guys this is. ninja in trouble what [ __ ] secret. knowledge the secret knowledge of. jumping jacks has. been this other guy can't separate his. legs at all this guy's hilarious closing. every jump when the Black comic brings.
the white guy on the. dance damn these guys are amazing do. he's doing the Kremlin dance what the. [ __ ] is that what is he doing we're. going to win they doing the YMC it does. look like that it's fun to stay at uh. bro everyone sucks one guy quit he's. like I'm done this is stupid I I'm all. about bar but these jumping jacks are. too much too stupid why am I doing this. when is this going to come up in real. life combat when is this going to come. up oh my body feels feels better hair.
touch a touch of the poison here the. kids freaks dude [ __ ] young young. boys in 1962 well they were scared of. the race war this is all before plastic. hit what the [ __ ] is this preservatives. it's Plastics body shaming Plastics yeah. microplastics so not an of body fat. they're end endocrine disruptors look at. that kid in well there was war in the. air you still had to fight in the war. there was war in the air the the know. World War II had just ended we were.
talking about going to Vietnam D look at. these hot this ninja warrior [ __ ] look. at these kids animals this is sexy look. at this they're all shirtless and but I. bet none of them wrote a good book I bet. none of them sang a song anybody wanted. to listen too that's. fun fully loaded we're hyper aggressive. Americans yeah wow I wonder I think that. the like the microplastic thing is real. if you look at uh there's a woman who. wrote this book called uh countdown her. name is shanana Swan she's a a doctor.
from Harvard right I always ask yeah a. taint lady right taint lady yeah t lady. talk to taints on here she when you. exposure to phades like it's a type of. um it's it's a chemical that's in. Plastics and some other things it they. disrupts her endocrine system and it. [ __ ] up with mammals it makes with the. males it makes their taint smaller makes. their dick smaller makes their ball. smaller sperm count grow down and they. they find them in human beings they like.
these are like studies they've done in. mammals so they did studies one of the. best ways to determine male or female in. young mammals is the M's taint is 50 to. 100% larger so they look at that to see. if it's a boy or a girl and when you. expose the animal to phalates that. shrinks and it sort of feminizes the the. boys they have less testosterone their. penises shrink their taint shrink sort. of a [ __ ] and there's a similar effect. in human beings and she believes that. that's the driving force.
and she thinks that we've been exposed. since people have been using microwaves. and everything's in plastic and water. bottles in your car all all these. different chemicals and then there's. fertilizers and pesticides and. herbicides and all that sh all that. shit's getting into your body and sucks. sucks to be the guy that was dating her. he he was like what are you researching. she's like why is why is everybody's. dick small these days what are you. talking about honey she's a hilarious. older woman she's really funny man she. has a thing on her in stagram called the.
jizz quiz. whoa it's like she's funny like but. she's talking about real science and. she's like it's kind of a a disarming. way to do it because she's such a like. sweet lady and she's so fun but she's. talking about what's going on with. microplastics if you jizz in her face. without telling her it's a pop. quiz God damn it you. [ __ ] God damn it you never know. what it's imagine if that is it and.
imagine when like when they introduced. Plastics to humans it was just. inevitably going to weaken us as a. species and there's no way we could have. known cuz we never had plastic before so. there was no plastic forever and then 19. whatever it is 50s when does it start. where where people start using Plastics. everywhere milk used to come in a jar at. that same time there's a direct drop. like sperm cell count and women are. having more. miscarriages yeah less fertility from.
both the male and the female and the the. males so it's not just like feminizing. it's it's messing up the females too and. it's it's doing something to the males. it's like crushing its uh reproductive. system I think she said we'd eat a. credit card of plastic a week yeah. that's what she said but there's some. dispute about that it's like it's an. average thing like are some people. getting way more of it are some people. getting none of it like is there a way. to avoid it yeah you know what's weird. when you check into a hotel and you see. a family and they bring in like a 20.
case of bottled water and you're like. what are you doing you're going to be. here two nights you need all that. bottled water see you just buy a bottle. of water where the [ __ ] did it come from. was it on a boat in Thailand for a month. drifting across the ocean where did your. water come from do I don't even ask I. just drink it so what if I'm drinking. some [ __ ] [ __ ] chemicals it's. going to make my tank shrink I'm a tap. man I love tap it's really not good for.
you a yeah tap water is not good for. everybody in New York loves saying New. York has the best tap water that's so. Rous zero chance that's saying my [ __ ]. smells the sweetest well that's true New. York it's like it's like they said the. water's good but the Taps are all shitty. so you're drinking like the rust bro. who's cleaning those pip nobody that's. what I mean in those imagine if you. could get like a camera down a mile or. so into those pipes and see the crud I. had a landlord tell me it was normal for. it to come out brown in the beginning. and I was like can I come to your house.
and see if it's like that there what the. [ __ ] are you talking about you're. supposed to drink that you're supposed. to bathe in that the [ __ ] I do the. shower with the mouth open you ever do. that one let it flow right in when I was. a kid I used to chug shower I do I did. it today there's some real disputes. about fluoride and water too to be. honest I'm I'm not super well versed in. it it's good for the. teeth apparently sort of but what's. really good for the teeth is brushing. your [ __ ] teeth it's like are we sure.
that you're supposed to be dumping. fluoride in the water that people drink. it is a bit of ation do you know that. fluoride lowers your IQ no yeah it does. definitely exposure to fluoride lowers. your IQ oh come on FL I me I don't know. what the number is what what exposure to. how much exposure to fluoride lowers. your IQ but drinking for 39 years. straight imagine say [ __ ] imagine how. [ __ ] smart he' be so much less. autistic.
robbed you were. robbed pop jiz I thought everybody say. how much but it says a significant. inverse relationship was found between. the fluoride concentration in drinking. water and IQ it was observed that the IQ. level was negatively correlated with. fluoride concentration in drinking water. it literally makes you. dumber Pop Quiz but then again you're. buying this bottle water from who knows. where that's been sit on a dock y I'm.
not asking I mean none of us are asking. questions no no we're not I don't even. know where Poland Spring is unhooked my. microphone we got to vote for RFK he'll. save us well what is what's the reason. for that is there a real good reason for. [ __ ] dumping FL in the water sure the. company that it was it started so long. ago's the benefit let's Google that. what's the benefit of fluoride it's. barely statistically significant theit. here the benefit was this it was uh it. this teeth strong cavities it keeps.
teeth strong and reduces cavities I. guess the British aren't doing it also. called tooth decay by about 25% in. children and adults drinking fluoridated. water right but what does it do to your. brain and how much of an effect how much. better is it than just brushing your. teeth they say ca communism but what is. what's what's the reason for this I mean. what we're we're we're forcing people to. take care of their teeth and everybody. else is going to lose IQ points like.
what is that the [ __ ] deal is there a. better way but hold on a second like. isn't there a better way can you just. clean your [ __ ] teeth like I don't. have any. cavities what are you doing I was going. to brush but I decided to chug out of. the sink why do they give a [ __ ] about. godamn dude since the mid1 1940s. compounds containing mineral fluoride. have been added to community Water. Supplies throughout the US to prevent. tooth. decay boy that sounds weird Health con. if I wanted to put on a [ __ ] tinf.
foil hat right now health concerns. expressed by opponents have largely been. dismissed until recently now evidence is. mounting that in an era of flu. fluoridated toothpaste and other. consumer products that boost Dental. Health the potential risks from. consuming fluoridated water May outweigh. the benefits for some individuals last. summer for the first time in 53 years. the US Public Health Service lowered its. recommended levels of fluoride in. drinking water boy we're getting started. early.
huh I mean that that if I was making. fluoride I would be like shut the [ __ ]. up that's what they're doing it might. the fluide people are like no you need. it in your water it's shouldn't we. research shut up yeah like the [ __ ] up I. got imagine any other tradeoff like that. imagine any other trade-off that lowers. IQs like imagine if we said we came. along and said we're gonna put we're. gonna put sunscreen and everybody's.
Apples because some people are GNA get. cancer because they're not wearing. sunscreen yeah yeah and okay well now. everybody has to eat sunscreen apples is. that the new rule like that that's what. the [ __ ] this is like this is like. forcing everybody to eat sunscreen. apples like hey [ __ ] I brush my [ __ ]. teeth like don't make me drink this. stuff what's in there well we got rid of. lead paint and when you use one of them. filters does that get all the fluoride. out how gets a lot of [ __ ] you ever put.
High SE in there just see it's still. kind of pink really yeah when it goes. through it's not like clear that's not. good you're a high. SE I'm I'm a high K High K with that. beard he's a [ __ ] B+ in the mountains. I know look at this guy Mountain you're. a man who knows how to start a fire. Moses yeah right you be like I'm. trusting you with the fire like you. shouldn't you look like a guy who knows. where the [ __ ] wood Chucks. are oh these ponds are safe to drink. from I no beavers here.
yeah there's a there's a thing that. people drink out of ponds with it's like. a like a camel back thing yeah yeah you. like put it in there LifeStraw that's it. really yeah you suck through the F you. can drink like anything where animals. have been pissing like if cows have been. pissing in a puddle you can drink it. those brittas are filthy uh brda filters. keep a healthy level of. fluoride what oh god they do not remove. fluoride and it says on their website a. healthy level ofah a healthy level of. dude I'm sick of fluide but who the [ __ ].
decides what the healthy level of a. thing that lowers your fluide big fluide. yeah who's running that whoa that how. Weir if it's Geor Soros I would be. pissed who's running big if you were a. journalist wouldn't this be something. you would. cover yeah no how many just be a nice. story to be like journalists have. covered this in like the New York Times. we got to cover the Black Mermaid first. or or you know some a really good paper. the New Yorker the Atlantic would you.
want to cover this yeah no journalism's. dead yeah there's so many stories about. politics no stories about advances in. medical [ __ ] you know what I mean you. never hear stories about that it's. always just anger and right never. anything good like we're doing better. than we were 20 years ago for sure but I. think that's always how people are dude. people are always extremely dissatisfied. and because of the everyone has access. to the internet everyone's in Conflict. all the time oh yeah so it's so bizarre. to watch people get political about.
medicine oh my God they're political. about everything everything the movies. they're they're getting me dude starting. to work tuer talker going to Twitter is. killing me dude why watching the [ __ ]. out of those videos and be like yo. talker is right about everything he had. Porto on every single one of those I. watch I'm like God damn yeah Tucker. knows now he's calling Obama gay a lot. bro that is wild Michelle that is wild. you ever go down that Michelle Obama was. a man rabbit hole Yeah but it's all.
photoshopped Eddie Bravo sent me one and. then I sent him the the original oh. really send him I need to send him the. original her on Ellen was like a funny. one great arms there's all these there's. all these pictures that exist that are. definitely doctor pull them up so it's. like it's her like tall her with a DI. we've done this every time have we yeah. Jamie help me out on this J we have to. have done big mic before I don't think. we did I don't know if we did Tim Dylan. definitely did we did Big mic with Tim.
Dylan did Tim Dylan's video did that get. removed from Twitter what do you mean. which someone Tweet someone uh put on. Instagram I believe that Tim Dylan's. video where he was saying uh that. Michelle Obama should run for president. if she won she could pull her [ __ ] out. and China would just give. up I was [ __ ] wheezing I couldn't. breathe big mic big mic. big.
mik it's like crazy it's but it come on. tell me it isn't one of the fun things. about the internet of. course crazy conspiracies are fun we had. a cab driver on the way back from like. Dixie Chicks or something and he goes. halfway back he goes Dixie Chicks yeah. he goes where do you guys get your news. I'm like this is about to get real good. what you doing Dixie Chicks manage. chicks were going I was like don't they. just call themselves the chicks they can. call themselves whatever they want but I. don't CH still Candlestick yeah chicks. is is like not lame Dixie Chicks.
demeaning to women it's way cooler what. happened they got people got mad at them. they were one of the first people to get. cancelled because they yeah they said. they were embarrassed to be from the. United States because of George Bush. they're like why are we going to war. with ir rock. yeah shut up shut [ __ ] up yeah it was. rough they were like the first people to. get like severe backlash really well I. mean now in retrospect everybody knows. that war was Insanity sure you couldn't. taste [ __ ] then Rogan did a episode of. uh late Friday a standup show and they.
go no tell me if I'm wrong they said No. George Bush jokes no military jokes whoa. he's the president yeah it was it was a. weird time though man was like it was. this very strange time where looking. back the bush hate was quaint compared. to the [ __ ] now y oh compared to the. Obama hate and and the Trump hate well. you know what it was it didn't get. accelerate thrown on it exactly the. social media accelerate it was always in. the air like everybody was furious at at. Bush for getting us into that war mhm. but it didn't it it was like no one was.
talking about it dayto day it wasn't. like constantly in your face if the news. didn't cover it you really didn't know. about it you know and the News would. they would certainly be slanted the. leftwing news against Bush I mean there. wasn't really was Fox News even around. back when Bush was president I don't. remember it was just more normal it. wasn't as was it normal who was that. white-haired guy that MIT used to love. oh he was on there all the time no no no. I mean like he was Blitzer nah after him.
he had like the Late Night show or. daytime show O'Reilly O'Reilly O'Reilly. yeah oh oh o. [Music]. Ry yeah he was Guy Pop Quiz he was an. interesting guy because it was like what. are you selling he was like. 68 huge damn O'Reilly rules he tuck. precursor youever see when he was. talking about the like I know God exists. cuz the tide goes in the tide goes out. why is that happened you can't explain. it yeah like.
theity I love those I can definitely. explain start using that let me give you. idiot you got chalkboard [ __ ] I love. those guys you can't explain it to a. must be God yeah t goes in t goes out. that's they say the menstration cycle is. due to the tides have you heard this. pull it up really but if that were true. wouldn't all chicks be in the same cycle. Dixie Chicks no cuz the moon's getting. them at different time yeah true in the. same area make any sense that be like. waves of period acoss the country. where's the moon where's everyone has.
their period get out of town oh Michelle. Obama had a b chicks with. dicks oh that one didn't. work you could have just kept Dixie. Chicks oh. yeah Michelle Obama's favorite band I. had damn I'm slow no you're good I think. all these doing great [ __ ] Looney. Tunes conspiracies are fun and that's. what drove me crazy about the old. Twitter it's like I'm smart enough to. know the Earth isn't flat stupid let.
these people talk about it let these. [ __ ] people talk about it I don't. mind listening I like when they get. angry and called people Globe. heads I want to [ __ ] hear it R let. him talk man so dude this cow driver. went from Michelle Obama is a man to. Nancy Pelosi is a man to Madonna is a. man and he goes look it up alternativ. news.com what about Leah Thomas they. wouldn't say that yeah you can't say. that yeah I go what do they have to. stand a game by being a man and hiding.
it he goes well first of all in today's. day and age if they say they're a woman. they're a woman so they're all women so. shut the [ __ ] up bigot. secondly that's very important right. very important Point anybody can be a. woman now [ __ ] open entry Jamie and. but also like how do you explain they. have kids like Madonna's got kids men. can get pregnant yeah but she was like. pregnant he showed me a basic slide. video of a filter there's not too many. pictures of Michelle Obama pregnant just. saying oh [ __ ] [ __ ] you have creeper.
they're hard to find I've been. searching why would they post it how. many pictures of you and your underwear. are there on the internet so many many. I've got a few I can send you saying. like why would anybody have pictures of. them you know or her pregnant isn't that. personal tell that to Ellie Wong I mean. there's a lot of pregnant specials. there's a few there's so many Ali was. the goat she was the go was the original. yeah good her [ __ ] added to it it did.
oh yeah yeah cuz she was like legit she. had a legit reason to be pissed off. carrying a giant baby that's hard to do. isn't it funny that with medical science. one of us could have a baby now you. think yeah they're talking about you. trans people are talking about getting a. uterus this one this one guy you too old. this one person I've been menopause one. person was clearly trolling and what. they said was uh that they wanted to get. a uterus transplant and then be the. first trans person to have an.
abortion and every everybody was getting. angry they're they're getting so both. SES are Ang that that's a good one. that's a good one the only thing that. bums me out is that I could see a world. Maybe not today but I could SE world in. the future where if enough biological. men wanted uterus transplants they do. the resch they would start doing it yeah. people would start doing it I I really I. mean they probably start convincing. people why would you want a uterus. though safe and effective cuz they want.
to be a real woman why they want to have. wom Parts all women Parts yeah the. bleeding the pregnant it's all a bummer. eggs seems like it sucks po sounds like. an insane science. project just qu it sounds like an insane. science project sounds like a nightmare. why can't we all just get along we got. so many great things we got Uber Eats. and all this stuff let's just hang out. why is everybody trying to yeah. somebody's got to drive that [ __ ]. Uber Eats imagine if devil is real. dyamics imagine if the devil is real all.
this chaos in. society why can't we all just get alone. all this chaos in society is just. designed to get us to the point where. we're willing to accept a biological. male getting pregnant and then through. that that's how Satan comes. yeah you [ __ ] you [ __ ] up it was. propes it I wonder if that could be the. end of the world it's like Damian like. The Omen remember that kid sure that's. that's you know the dude gives birth SAR.
story God's gonna come back and be like. all right that's a rap you [ __ ]. dummies start another planet the [ __ ]. are you doing that's when the aliens. would land like you guys are just all. right it's like when you're in an escape. room you got we need help oh yeah you. got to press the button right where's. that kid now where's that kid now that. probably [ __ ] that kid up he went from. cover of the Nirvana album to this looks. like you met Kevin spy. ah dude imagine if you're a little kid.
and you in you're in a huge movie where. you play the most evil mother [ __ ]. that's ever lived and then everywhere. you go people looking at you sideways. now like he's scary how do you cast that. n not evil enough that kid's the devil. you got it all he did was look normal. that's how terrifying children are just. still and be like it is true if a kid's. got like a straight face and looks at. you you're like hello Shane yikes you. know where that's where you got to get. them preemptively you got to go come. here baby you know the only shake them.
the only time when a baby is scary is. when it's at night time in the woods you. see a baby just standing there staring. at you what are you talking about yeah. that's the scariest thinging a naked. baby just in in the trail just standing. there staring at you terrifying you be. like what the [ __ ] is going on you be. like first of all is this a trap are. they like do I go towards the baby and. then they rush me or is this baby a. demon yeah like is this a fake baby like. why his baby naked in the woods at night.
do we found a baby in Northern Thailand. moping around we saw a baby on a road. yeah what the [ __ ] there was a house. like 200 yards up like is this your baby. and it's like oh my God thank you so. much do you guys have cigarettes uh it's. a [ __ ] bait baby. oh a bait b a bait baby so they put the. baby out so people save the baby get. some cigarettes oh my God couple lucies. yeah a couple lucies go a long way if. you they used to do where they throw a. baby and you instinctually catch it and.
then they pickpocket you oh my god did. you have to catch. it. yes how Wild this part of the world I. was in Thailand I was watching this. whole family on a moped there was a baby. it's like a starish baby the guy was. riding the baby was sitting here the. wife was behind him pull it up I was. like this is insane you have a baby hang. on both that's funny we get like. frustrated we're like oh we got to take. our family on vacation these [ __ ]. you're in a giant van. imagine being like all right we got to.
go everyone get on my [ __ ] back we've. got to get this moped we got to with. flip-flop with flip and they're going to. work too s like they're going fun. [ __ ] grapes your ass a motorcycle go. blood on their hands meanwhile here's. the rub everybody over there is really. happy yeah I don't know if they're all. happy but they're very friendly they're. happier than us they're very friendly. some of the nicest people true sure yeah. yeah so like what is that simple wife. what is that I mean I don't know man. yeah like those Indian people who live. poor [ __ ] they're all.
happy holy hell it's a shelf that is. insane oh they don't usually have the. Shelf they usually just hang on that is. insane that is insane damn that's. impressive it is impressive like they're. all. smiling well it's. funny I even they know it's funny that's. so wild that's guy that guy had a giant. basket and a whole family behind him on. a. motorc the guy in the middle does not. seem happy he seems like he seems like. the lost the. link I won't take an Uber pool to save.
my life and these people are getting a. moped with a family Uber pool can get. weird though right oh yeah Co killed it. yeah right gone it was gone for a while. lift Tred to go lift line and you guys. get the newest covid yet it's back baby. I might have it right now's got. C you feel like [ __ ] no I just have had. a cold for a few oh you've had it you. got it you son of a [ __ ] there's no. more regular colds anymore I I call that. that's what I always say I mean I don't.
I don't think if you have the regular. cold like that's not even cool it's not. cool at all it's not cool at all yeah if. you had Co for one day that's way better. than the regular cold for like a week. and a half it's like these rich chicks. Rich chicks who can't just get a. headache they they have to have a. migraine oh yes they always have [ __ ]. Mig always. [Music]. Mig debilitating yeah that's what I was. going to say I think they're. debilitating I think like you're on your. knees. really I'm sure the severity is you know. different with different people I think.
Terrell Davis sat out of the Super Bowl. for a little while with a migrant like. it's that bad that guy like it was his. dream and he worked hard really and he. was like I can't see oh God what causes. those they know J you remember that I. know you remember that J Mo yes dude. debilita Migra almost took him out of. Super Bowl maybe. CTE oh yeah well you got to think that's. a factor great teeth on that look at. that fluoride great teeth that's that's. a late edition that was in his playing.
days these poor football players man so. what does he say here migraine. eventually came on and forced Davis to. sit out of the second quarter of the. game he didn't let it stop for long. though as he was back in the field after. halftime forgot to take his medicine. pregame oh he has medicine for migrain. dur his pregame meal toour hours for. kickoff what kind of preventative. medicine do they have for migraines. Jamie I have no idea I had a friend that. in high school he would if we would just. like start talking about it he would get. one wow what we would play basketball he. be like if you guys [ __ ] [ __ ] me.
today and say that [ __ ] [ __ ] we just. start. sameon we talk about it I'll get one. take a long time. really think about it yeah I don't I. mean that's probably very weird it's a. little psychosemantic obviously but it. would still terrify it would take him. out he have to go lay down somewhere. couldn't see light none of that like. definitely not at a gym that sucks. there's a lot of women like that if you. start bringing up wanting to [ __ ]. them he got a stomach ache. nasty [ __ ] don't lie to me sex is a.
good cure he actually like releases uh o. have you ever had a migraine no no never. I have I have I was getting off uh. caffeine I switched from like six Cokes. a day to six Sprites at The Comedy Store. six c a day yeah and then it was like. the drop in caffeine was like it crushed. me for a while it hurts the the. withdrawals yeah that's one of the only. things that I've ever taken a lot of and. didn't realize I was taking too much of. it and then when I stopped at headaches. yeah I was uh riding this thing and I.
was I was drinking these uh crazy uh. drinks these sodas they were filled with. sugar and like massive amounts of. caffeine they had like skull and. crossbones on them and [ __ ] I forget I. don't even think the company's around. anymore we've talked about this before. rights col yeah I tried to look it up. there was like spicy they were like. spicy sodas and like filled with. caffeine and I was drinking [ __ ]. remember those things that I hadol it. was something else it was like way. cooler squir we were drinking like I.
mean I was drinking like seven or eight. of them a night Jesus yeah so cuz I was. writing like really up late at night and. and they were just [ __ ] my brain was. on fire when I was on those things and. then I got off of it like I finished. this thing that I was writing and then. I'm in my house I'm like why does my. head hurt so much yeah and I was like oh. my God I'm I'm going through withdrawals. that's withraw like. wow addicted to caffeine so how'd you. kick it. I just had a cup of.
coffee turns out this readily available. drug all I did I had a cup of coffee I. was like now I feel good again there you. go I just decided you can never go that. hard yeah you know and I'm I'm certainly. addicted to caffeine I I drink caffeine. I drink coffee basically every day same. I love it I love it love it no evidence. bad for you it's fun I don't think it's. bad for you it's the best as long as you. stay hydrated feel good for 10 minutes a. day little bit nice and [ __ ] T Fletch. say it's like a warm hug GA had a good.
joke about it cuz remember when caffeine. remember when coffee. worked that's true so true yeah I talked. to Michael pollen about that and he said. that he did for this experiment that he. did for that book that he wrote on. psychedelics he took like coolest B in. the world three months off of coffee no. caffeine at all for three months and. then he said when he had a cup of coffee. it was like a drug he said it was like. almost like a psychedelic it was. incredible when I started if I drank. past 10: a.m. I couldn't sleep really 10. a.m. yeah it would hit me so [ __ ].
hard wow but now it's fine now I can go. let's have some coffee most consumed. drug in the world really oh yeah. obviously bro Starbucks figured it out. what a what a baller business move let's. get everybody addicted to coffee he's. already pouring a cup talking about it. you can get really good coffee at. Starbucks if they have one of those. weird machines you know that [ __ ]. that crazy machine that's invented. what's on Arrow Press it's like it's. digital so you pour in the exact grams.
of coffee and they it heats the exact. temperature it bruise it for the exact. same amount of time and then like a. piston goes up and down push the hockey. puck out and the coffee's perfect they. just overcook their beans I don't like. yeah but this one they don't with this. they don't it's it's just they leave it. hot for too long like coffee is not you. know if you do it right like if you. really know what you're doing like my. friend Evan who owns Black Rifle coffee. like they they they me measure their. coffee they like measure the temperature. of the water that's the thing it's.
called a clover machine that's right who. I'd like to eat that so this machine you. you pour the grinds in there and it. literally makes a perfect cup of coffee. I think it's insanely expensive that's a. lot of was at least. $111,000 to much cup of. coffee5 crazy for one cup of coffee at a. time and but the coffee is perfect like. I I had one there was a Starbucks uh in. California where I used to go that had. one of these really I I had a few. different coffees from there and they.
were [ __ ]. Sensational an intant out look at that. what I mean after that coffee 11,000. you're going to [ __ ] blood it's not. strong it's not strong it's just it just. tastes perfect it's not stronger than. regular coffee at all all right it's. just the whole thing is about like real. coffee dorks that '90s emo kid behind. him he looks like he's about to start. the band bullsh that guy could not look. like more of a barista if he tried I. know right. Arista Explains It.
All a deep pull that was a good deep. pull that was a good one those the real. time coffee nerds bring up clear. explains it all they do everything by. like numbers oh really temperat for the. water temperature weight exact amount of. time Brewing are you farting oh Jes sque. the going through me that sounded bad. think that was that was a pop quiz. trying. sorry I pushed it out you should feel.
you should feel proud of that that was. funny as [ __ ] a little too hard that was. my favorite part so. far that's more where that came from I. always feel like a [ __ ] when I go. into my coffee shop really you know. they're all like young cool people like. tattoos and [ __ ] yeah they make you feel. I just woke up I'm in a Philly Jersey in. gym shorts right feel weird I bet you. make them feel weird too though. definitely yeah that's what's fun. with the whole milk then they give me. oat milk and I go I said [ __ ] whole.
milk that's every day we assume you. didn't and I give them eight bucks. exactly then I text five people non-stop. for about 20 minutes yeah you say you're. writing and I go I got some good ideas. exactly you need to hear about it. somebody was comparing there was like. some chart where they were comparing one. of those oatly one of those oat milk. things I don't know which one but they. said they're the same glycemic index as. Coca-Cola what does that mean what's. sugar and [ __ ] it's a lot of sugar I.
heard almond milk is all sugar too. there's a lot Duncan Duncan told me this. stuff is delicious and it's good for you. I go how many grams of sugar in that. thing he text me back. [ __ ] I why tastes good dude you're. drinking syrup yeah what's wrong with. milk milk is good I love half and half. it's bad for you. no Dairy my life had [ __ ] since I. stopped drinking milk dude okay look at. that holy [ __ ] that's a 12 drinking 12 O. of of oat Le you don't drink a glass of.
it you do a splash in your coffee what. glycemic load no don't you think people. drink it drink straight oat milk I drink. straight almond milk I used to I don't. anymore but I used to it's so oat Le for. 12 ounces of oat Le it's 19 what is that. grams I feel like they should change the. name of rape seed oil glycemic Lo. glycemic so the glycemic load that's a. great word rape seed the I see M Lo is. 19 for Oley and 20 rap seed what are.
they coming after that word canola oil. change Wandering Jew but they will leave. rape seed wait what was wandering jew. it's a plant really yeah go now like do. you have any wandering Jews like I. haven't heard that in about seven years. wow with that beard that's you yeah rape. seed's a weird one right like how do. they still have that around cuz I think. it's canola oil what it used to be. Brazil isn't it isn't it the same thing. a good change good change change I was. against theed skins I'm good with Brazil. n yeah fire and Irish is still around.
fire and Irish is great it's like a. drunk [ __ ] oh I got a good I got a. good fight Irish story yeah fit Simmons. talks about that yeah so gra seed oil is. canola oil why they why are they using. that just called canola yeah why do they. have two different. words grap seed oil is one of the oldest. known vegetable oils where the name come. from there are both edible and. Industrial forms produced from rape seed. the seed of several cultivators canola. oils a food grade version derived from.
rape seed cultivar specifically bread. low uric acid content also known as low. uric acid rape seed oil there is the. name for rape seed comes from a l Christ. rape them generally recognized as. generally recognized as. safe look how that's phrased look at. that but look up there look how that's. phrase there's a there's a link you can. click see it says gener. yeah generally. recogniz wikip what that.
means what are you talking about. generally like who doesn't generally. means not completely safe yeah if you. say generally I go what that's like when. they approved Oxy Cotton it's believed. to be non-addictive that was the first. time they ever had that langage that's. crazy yeah I had Peter ber on just who. was talk he's the guy who made that uh. the the most. recent one the no no what it. called painkiller with so good it makes.
me realize any any name drug they're. prescribing it's like they're on the. take it's wild oh yeah they're horrible. people wild wild how they got the. salesman to meet up with the good cases. of like this help me so then they could. sell it better to the to the doctors and. like dress up with your tits out did you. see that they found the dude who. approved it they had this guy from the. FDA would not approve it would not. approve it it was like one guy and then. they lock him in a hotel room for two. days and he comes out and that was the. language that they used it's.
believed first time they've ever used. that language believed to be non. addictive yeah why what are you talking. about Bel fued Fed Up the whole country. up so they found this dude he's a rural. town in New Hampshire they always money. now I mean he he FDA to work for Purdue. wow and they gave him like a $400,000. year job why don't the activists get on. this they're all worried about. everything else kill Guillo out there. well in that show they had the the.
governor of West Virginia was like it's. killing our state we got to do we saw. man goes ah we're good he got a job with. them it's so C the mafia it's so crazy. it's so crazy and and then they was. going to they were going to give these. people of the Sackler family was going. to give up like6 billion dollar and. through that they wouldn't be able to. get prosecuted yeah and then a US judge. what is the story on that was it cour. Jud called somebody who called the White. House and the White House called the da.
and the da called the guy goes n make. the deal 10 million 10 million juliani. on. this what do you mean 10 million what. are you talking about that's they got. almost a slap on the wrist and said we. won't prosecute no no no no no I'm. talking about the new. thing the. sackers Apparently agreed to pay. somewhere in the neighborhood of like. see if you can find the store 6 billion. so $6 billion of their and in return. they they are [ __ ] very clever with. the fin which never paid yeah and so in.
return for that they would not be able. to get prosecuted but apparently they. put the gash on that after painkiller. came out people like what the [ __ ] did. you do good you ever take an oxycotton. though it's pretty damn good that's what. what uh Peter Berg was saying oh yeah. how great it is well remember Brett. Favre was it Brett Favre was like brre. was on it I'm addicted to painkillers I. got to go rehab people like okay but no. one looked into what that means yeah. everyone's like Brett farb is a [ __ ]. idiot it turns out everybody in the. country was addicted to it right at. least there's so much of it floating.
around there's somebody on it right now. listening yeah yeah he's having he's. taking a nap he's like man these guys. are really harsh in my [ __ ] take a. month's worth of painkillers in two. days [ __ ] great dick pick Gunslinger. what a legend dude who good for him y. you got toat I remember he was taking. him before games and [ __ ] 15 vikin at a. time oh my God what a champ take a. little more take a little more took a. little more how does he [ __ ] I mean he's. a packer. look at what he said here you son of a.
[ __ ] a constipation joke how dare you. we got a hit dude that was a good one we. got I tell people all the time that I. took 15 Viking in es at one time and. they're like didn't it knock you out it. did totally the opposite I was up that's. kind of the way addictions too wow way. with addictions too what it's supposed. to do it doesn't Favre said oh wow wow. interesting he's still kicking though it. wasn't just 96 on people knew about it. because of the announcement it was 3. years before he's he was already hooked.
he was in Something About Mary that's. right. interesting wow yeah it's really bad. well it also really impairs. judgment they they [ __ ] lose. themselves they'll steal from their. friends crush it yeah they'll do. anything instantly makes you do hero. well I mean that's always the thing like. if you know a guy who's got a pill. problem you don't just leave them in. your house ambient too amb they they'll. have to steal even if it's your friend. they always sold it to us is like oxy is.
the same as heroin but like yeah but not. exactly like it and that show was like. no no no it is just slow release it's. heroin there's a great scene in the show. that one doctor yells at the girl like. she's trying to sell it to have no idea. what you're selling oh you're drug. dealer with a ponytail Yeah Yeah my two. friends in high school died of methadone. it's no joke yeah we used to uh play. pool with the methoni wow when I used to. go to this uh like the coolest religion. this coolall that I used to play out in. the was right next to these people that.
were on methadone so these methadone. dudes would come in and my friend Johnny. used to call him the methoni they would. come in just playing pool like this it. prob nice couldn't oh [ __ ] sweet. people couldn't were they good at pool. no na they were all terrible they were. all terrible he just leaning on the. table for 20 minutes guys did heroin sh. those guys were good at pool the heroin. guys the heroin guy one guy in. particular was heroin yeah it was steady. as ner getting a Zone yeah on heroin. this guy. World Championship caliber pool player.
heroin wow I mean look at Mitch Hedberg. he was killing he was killing well. there's I think there's a freedom to. that drug just a just to like who. [ __ ] cares when you become a. functioning heroin addict like like not. when you start taking weed but like once. you're like I can be fine on this yikes. the heroin version of that AES you know. the thing is it's like if you know what. it is and you know what you're doing and. you're getting pure stuff like Dr Carl. har you know who that guy is guy from. columia uhuh he's a brilliant guy who. does drugs oh yeah yeah yeah he does.
drugs like he's like I just get the good. cut openly about how he likes to sniff. heroin he goes it's lovely oh it yeah. he's amazing he's colia he started out a. complete straight lace scientist with no. experience with drugs whatsoever until. he became a researcher and then when. he's researching he was realizing like. oh a lot of like the fears that we have. of these things are overblown a lot of. the addictions are from things that have. been stepped on yes looks like a doctor.
were getting a heroin. yeah right if you looking for like which. one's the guy that's you want him as. your teacher I think he teaches at. Columbia the thing is he doesn't. encourage you to do drugs but he says. that all societies do drugs and this. idea that they don't is ridiculous we're. all taking nicotine and drinking. caffeine and alcohol and like people are. doing drugs these are drugs they're just. state approved drugs oh yeah but it's. just for a guy like it's hard to be like.
a public academic an intellectual and to. have that stance like most of them are. not willing to go on that of them are. pro heroin no no he's pretty sick though. yeah he's like Galileo he's making it. work in a lot of well he's a legit. scientist you know he's a legit PhD he's. you know he's for real he studies the. effects of psychoactive drugs on humans. he's detailed his drug use in a new book. titled drug use for grown-ups chasing. Liberty in the land of fear heart who is. currently on sabatical until July is the.
chair of the prestigious University. psych Department he hopes that coming. clean about his drug use will help lead. to decriminalization of illegal drugs. Hart said that he first tried heroin six. or seven years ago when he was already a. tenure professor in his late 4 this. guy's doing heroin and he's smart that's. all is dude he's like no it's actually. all right y all just getting into it to. that's a that's a legit Brave person. that quote was a heroin addict quote. just a little to feel refreshed and. ready to take on another day my sister.
said the same thing really she's like. why I need it yeah but he said when you. get off of it if you're really addicted. to it if you do it a lot and you get off. of it he said it's like the flu he said. just it's people what heib dude I. watched you can die did it though you. die from it you can die from it turkey. there well I don't think very many. people do though they do die from um uh. Xanax Xanax withdraws Danny. Brown kill you fat fat AR he says the.
use of heroin can be as rational as my. alcohol use like vacation sex and the. Arts heroin is one of the tools that I. use to maintain my work life balance. damn Carl Hart they make good Jack rules. he rules that guy rules look at that. other guy judging with his eyes what's. that you like cool scientist like cool. professors what what study [ __ ]. shut up. ah shut up and study no bro that's the. only way those the message gets out.
there although that guy obviously is. cool he's got dreads he's doing heroin. but yeah. yeah a hair went down like where you for. a living I'm actually a tenure professor. of Columbia like shut up I know it's. crazy they [ __ ] believe me it's got. to be the easiest class to pass though. yeah he's nodding off the whole [ __ ]. exactly hey you failed your test you're. on heroin like I need it oh my God how. new is this needle I love that that's. such a funny thing so I can face a new.
day it's like yeah dude face a new day. it sucks he makes it work he making it. work sucks dude yeah but if you're on. heroin is probably fun yeah [ __ ] rules. but the come down got to be. rough well you figure out he's a. scientist so figure out what brings you. back up again yeah her dog the dance. heroin of the dog I'm sure like the. right mixture of adall right afterwards. be. heroin come down and woo adal. we're good baby let's get pizza that's a. great idea next step how many people are.
on that [ __ ] that's another big one [ __ ]. that's going to be a problem speed son. problem speed oh yeah I think Trump's on. it uh same as that uh diabetes. medication too that everybody's. on to be a new one like we really. haven't researched this for weight loss. but just everybody do it bad sign for. our country every doctor is like go. forward it's fine I'll take a shot Brian. Simpson tried it and he had to get off. it he was having gastrointestinal issues. I know people that were barfing a lot. off it yeah not good man not good no.
free lunch you said it once and you said. it again no lunch at all with it no free. lunch so true lunch at all no biological. free lunch more lunch FDA announces. shortage of out all. no oh [ __ ] that was. 2022 still there's still a shortage I. bet China makes it they're like you know. what you guys are getting cocky get. ready for some f you guys are getting. cocky concentrating too much no you're. getting Co you [ __ ] relying on us a. little too much we going to cut back. good we don't like working so much we.
need to cut back let's Coke at the White. House yeah I I wonder where that came. from Imagine you like your son already. [ __ ] up the laptop got out the whole. thing the [ __ ] Jig Is up everybody. knows you're a. crook and then he's like but Dad I'm. clean now I'm boy it's. got go in my room so here's the question. do they have cameras inside the White. House bathrooms I I bet they have it. doubt it well I was going to say they. have it everywhere but it's probably.
like no they say take take cameras out. of how else did they catch for scump. dring and all it was do. peppers I mean but if you're like you. got to think the White House is the most. photographed place in the world tell. that to L you couldn't have like a. loophole where you could just go in the. bathroom and [ __ ] trade secrets with. a spy I bet I bet I bet the president's. like no I need a place where I'm not. recorded yeah you got a [ __ ] that's an. interesting question though right inside. a vestibule oh okay so it wasn't in the. bathroom leading to the lobby area like. it's an unknown substance no you know.
what it is you guys know this is an old. Story the substance was located inside a. receptacle used for temporary to. temporarily Store electronic and. personal devices prior to entering the. West Wing so he just dropped it off. inside of a recept doing Below in the It. Center oh he dropped it like a bag it. was probably attached to his phone gross. right it's like sweaty sticks to your. phone little baggie like a wallet on his.
phone right and and when he pulls his. phone out the bagg's in there he doesn't. even know hun to put the receptacle well. it's probably not a Yonder it's a it's a. receptacle like when you go through a. [ __ ] radar machine right right make. sure you're not packing heat to kill. pops there's no surveillance you don't. need you don't need a gun to kill pops. that's true gut punch you could lick. them to death. Prov please. I bet he tastes all right for real you. got one of those arteries and you press.
down with your tongue long enough yeah I. have a joke about him and I was like I. hope the special like it when I got done. filming it in June it's coming out. tomorrow I was like today today I was. like he might die before the special for. I was for real and then I'd see clips of. him in like Hawaii just yeah like [ __ ]. dude he's going to die I'm might have to. drop this no you made it you made it I. can't believe there it is look. beautiful dogs Shane you look upset.
they're taking a picture of you I was. like come on man I saw said please do. not take pictures oh I said not that's a. good pick love on the spectrum they. always do the worst that's so goddamn. embar stand who wrote this Shane Rifts. on his. girlfriend it wasn't even. that house and being bullied by an. Australian Goths M's why did they do. that I don't know as soon as I saw that. I texted my manager and I said who the. [ __ ] wrote this take that down it should. just be Shane does stand up his new.
stand up special recorded here yeah. exactly 100% yeah like that's who's. going to read that who's going to read. that be like I want to hear about that. Australian gu someone who you don't want. to listen who's going to go this is. terrible hey was this set Rowdy or Cal. oh rowy we had to get like minute Clips. you know you got to like send a preview. I couldn't I couldn't every minute I. said gay or [ __ ] oh my God they like. no no no no that's somebody yeah what. that they let you they got me like they. got like 10 seconds a one hey look we.
were in good company here we and myself. Nate wait see what see what my blurb is. it was even worse than yours it's. something about farting pretty good oh. no awkward lap dances to the intimacy of. letting one rip in front of a spouse. rapid fire rapid fire dud look at you. with that stupid watch on your pict. don't go anywhere without that watch. godamn it you got that right Baby time x. never breaks what time does it say uh. 7:28 it's close same day yeah it's 24.
funny we got in the pool yesterday I was. genuinely concerned about the watch I. was like dude did your watch is it. waterproof look broken is it waterproof. oh yeah do you do the math with the real. time yeah every time so like you just. add to it like look at the time right. now what time is it really uh 351 in New. York no it's 249 I'm New York New York. he's right no's not. York New York time I know I know it's.
just funny that you were off also in the. minutes I went to Australia I use it. every time yeah how could you have the. minutes wrong my make any sense it's a. little slow also Mark Mark his clock 2. minutes fast so we'll be on time and. he's still 40 minutes late late today. [ __ ] I didn't know I said my watch. says 51. to so what did you say did you say 51. you better believe it fatty but but that. was a minute ago. no it was different time that was. different time than what the [ __ ].
time when no I bet this watch lasts. longer than that piece of [ __ ] hey what. do you got there what is that uh it's a. Garmin this thing has a GPS so the CIA. can track me oh they're going to [ __ ]. chew you in the head shut up no it's uh. it does a bunch of cool [ __ ] measures. your heart rate but it doesn't work on. me because I have tattoos doesn't work. through tattoos wild yeah I had that. with other things too yeah the the best. heart rebon is the straps anyway I don't. understand.
anything with what I mean if somebody. told me the watch was reading your heart. but a t tattoo was blocking it like. doesn't hurt talking about it's it's not. that it's accurate but not accurate the. ink it gets in the way it's like it uses. light so if you look at the back of this. thing there's like. a this thing shoots light out and it can. measure if it's over an area that. doesn't have a tattoo it could measure. how quick the blood is moving through. your skin black as hell yeah but it's.
not as accurate as the ones that you put. around your chest they work on something. else they work on like the what does. that work on the chest strap one I don't. want to [ __ ] that up but it's more. accurate how do they do that [ __ ] I. don't want to see you yawn again dude oh. Yonder get a Yonder bag get a [ __ ] go. bong a beer dude yeah we got the eagle. out there get the eagle Jamie I just. clean it you cleaned it you get so. excited for that thing you're so good at. loves a beer bom Joe is Jamie allowed to.
come to Ohio State no aim with me please. please please Joe does have to work that. day yes yes Jamie you're allowed to. sleep over yes oh you have to sleep over. with chain pizza party Joe can J sleep. over at my house. please well who's driving you guys you. can drink at the house only at the house. promise me you're not going to drink in. the park again fine yeah what are you. going to do when your kids are boozing. that's going to be weird huh hooking up. with comics and [ __ ] oh my God Tony.
Hench Cliff's gonna be over. there easy he's gonna say Hello. Father you're my father imag imagine if. one of just imagine one of your older. friends married your daughter that'd be. a disaster what the [ __ ] you you have to. like fight them yeah it's like alucino. old yeah you'd have to go no dude oh God. I a is having a kid right now ain't that. wild what wild MC Jagger yeah let's. [ __ ] go those are like ultra marathon.
sperm them sperms been kicking it in. those balls they' been there since the. [ __ ] cold. war the beginning of the Cold War I mean. when was he born he's 80 years old oh. [ __ ] as B he was born in like. 47 alcino is 83. w0 wow he's born before world is that. the girl that got pregnant in the middle. when did World War II start. 1940 41 for Us's go 41 30 30s he's 5 41.
for us he's 83 years old wow still. getting it up blue baby he's got that. pre fenal coconut sperm yeah also he's. probably good for that lady great. doctors be like dude yeah his doctors. are probably like let's go can you. imagine that ball bag holy [ __ ] my ball. bag looks 83 now imagine when you're 83. what if it just get younger younger. looking like a peach. up I love ball play don't you love ball.
play twisting around yeah yeah you know. oh really what's up with those guys who. like getting their nuts stomped stomped. High Sho those videos are so wild go in. weird directions it's like stepping on a. half deflated balloon just kind of comes. out so scary Yu J can you play that can. you find guys it's not like these girls. I see your mom's house not like girls. are turned on by it it's not like these. girls with the shoes are like trained. experts and how hard not to stomp your.
nuts right you got to get a great. stomper guys lose nuts that way I know. of two guys who lost their balls in. kickboxing out with wild is that what. stomp is one guy lost his balls because. he went one more round with this dude. and he he didn't want to put his cup on. he's like he just he was getting out of. the out of the cage and then the guy was. like one more R he already took his cup. off so I'll just leave it off for one. round boom he takes his shin to the nuts. loses one of his nuts two balls one cup.
oh and another guy that I know of uh was. a very similar situation damn kicked to. the nuts lost one of his balls no no no. guys from a long time ago lost the ball. like it just rupted blew up blew his. ball apart Don fry. bro look at this that guy spiral kicked. down he did like a [ __ ] front flip. and landed with one heel on that guy's. nut sack yuck he was like I'll hit you.
anywhere but [ __ ] it's that exact spot. my bad spot the amount of ball trauma I. took as a 9-year-old oh every we like. middle school every single one of our. friends is socking each other I was. playing Super Mario some guy whipped me. with a RAC track you know like the track. the orange thing and hit me right on one. nut I was out for like 3 days you didn't. know how to protect it back then so you. just walk into like cross bars and [ __ ]. K in the nut at least 100 times DN at.
least 100 times probably way more cuz I. did Taekwondo all the time you're always. getting kicked in the nuts I got kicked. in the nuts over and over again dude I. think in the UFC was allowed for a while. oh that early one that guy punches a row. the Keith hne and Joe son oh yeah Joe. son had him at a headlock and Keith. Hackney just looked at his nut sacking. let's go over over over I'm not to lose. this [ __ ] fight he just punched him. in the he was trying to be like pull. that up keep that's the oldest days and.
the guy held on for a minute right while. he on he was trying to be like this. doesn't bother me you got through like. one or two punches right yeah 10 there. was a fight in Brazil it was a no rules. fight and this dude reached his hand. into this guy's pants and grabbed his. [ __ ] so he's got a headlock and he's. just going right to the sack roone. that's what I'd be doing this is like. little brother. fighting my god let's go that headlock. bro let go of the headlock a tight panty. at this point his body's probably.
paralyzed can't let go of the headlock I. go finger up the butt desperate he's. just taking how many shots to the sack. how many shots are we in right now what. is that Gary Shandling oh this is the. replay in the same scene 20 look at Don. 20. punches shut the [ __ ]. up Wild West oh my that guy went to jail. later for rape didn't he rape he just. wanted to see if it could still work oh. yeah he did Jo guy getting punch in the. ball did wow they still work I guess.
that was a crazy time man these to be. able to wear shoes they could pull hair. they would grab hair and elbow each. other some guys wear ghee other guys I. don't like that grabbing hair I don't. like any of that all goddamn ponytail. yeah you're just forcing guys cut I you. want to look cool but fight in the cage. the NFL in football you're allowed to. tackle a dude they call the horse Color. no really they might have just you grab. the hair yes wow. into your helmet that's crazy they might. have changed that but it looks wild I.
like I love the way it looks dud have. crazy braids coming out of their helmet. that looks dope as [ __ ] Ricky Williams. had that it's like a a good way to shine. a nice way nobody can see your face so. you got to have you got have the drip I. like it what was it Kyle Turley had the. long blonde he like a viking damn Kyle. Turley what a what a pull yeah paalo was. like the famous one pal look but in MMA. man in the olden days you shouldn't. really have a ponytail I know you want. to look. cool. fought allowed to punch you in the balls.
and pull your hair don't get in the ring. also what are you training for all you. have to do is punch a guy in the dick. what are we talking about punch in the. balls none of this matters that's a good. point well it kind of does because in. the early UFC's you were allowed to. punch in the balls and nobody punched. hoist Gracie in the balls because he. knew he knew how to fight it's not that. easy just punch him in theall but if. he's like crawling on you you got to go. for his balls if you get a chance but he. knows you're going to do that almost no.
chance to do that I don't think I could. obviously I know I couldn't somebody. kill me immediately sure but if you were. remotely in shape and a guy was doing D-. Jitsu to you you could probably get his. balls or his butthole pretty Qui. butthole what is that oh he pulled the. hair he scalped him oh boy oh he he. spiked it oh boy look at that [ __ ] this. guy to the groundation you're not. supposed to touch black people's hair. that's crazy who is that that's what. I've heard he was like I'm Sor that's. probably some stuff that's braided in.
there anyway right yeah I hope so I. don't think dudes get extensions how. yeah for sure extension. 100% that's crazy not guys did it but. I'm so where did that come out from yeah. a lot of those are extensions in NFL. really I mean they go away you can't. grow that in the summer what about. you're right yeah yeah it takes a long. time Sumer real but a lot are not yeah. and half of it how long it take you to. grow that beard started in late April. damn son that's pretty good godamn I've.
been growing this for 3. years. crazy a beard like that I'd be so cool I. started in a protest before Shane. recorded a special and I said I'm not. going to shave it till it comes out hell. yeah I grew a full beard once when this. dude Evan Tanner died Evan Tanner was. this MMA fighter that had this full. beard and he was like real crazy dude. like real interesting guy and he died in. the desert you know that story yes we. got lost on a motorcycle right yeah did.
we cover this before I believe I've. heard you say this that's terrifying. yeah so we all hey look at that guy look. at Bert Rogan over. there that's by the way that's me like. shaving the Top If I don't shave my. cheek area it goes like a werewolf it. goes. allil you got a little Hezbollah going. here too some real. Muslim uh but do you ever think about. converting no of you. [ __ ] it really what Islam you thought. about converting you'd have to give up.
the Bud Lights no no no and the pork. what are you talking about you just be. bad at you could just be bad oh you. could be bad yeah but isn't that like. don't they kill you for that no they. don't kill you for blood lights not. American Islam is pretty cool it's over. there Islam is tougher so in American. Islam tell me what the rules are same. rules you just don't do it like Catholic. girls aren't supposed to [ __ ] in the ass. but they still all cath do that dude. shut up that's our people that's all my. people dude my mom and my sisters I'm.
sure they were the cool ones one of the. wild [ __ ] I believe you heroin dude. she definitely didn't do. anal they kind of show one of the same. that was joke none of it's great that. was the joke sorry you got to jar loose. that fav dump. somehow far. dump that's taking a number four come on. Jamie. j so you're you could drink yeah you can. drink you're just not supposed to right. I don't think so and you can't be gay.
what about gay stuff they kill the gay. you can do a little gay stuff you're. drink you can do a little G you're. drinking you can do a little G if it's. on a. boy just long as say salum before you're. you're allow to have a little F you're. allowed to have a little fun have the. [ __ ] greatest scheme ever all you. have to do is say you're sorry oopsies. the oopsy box go that box confess and. they got to tell you do this like 20. times and [ __ ] mean it this time and. like can I just do it 10 times sorry. what a [ __ ] sweet what a Sweet Escape. Clause though to let people look people.
they CU they probably gave up oh I. [ __ ] stole money [ __ ] now I'm out. yeah just tell everybody you're sorry. though it's actually pretty smart. remember when someone does something. mean to you if they come up and go yo. for. real but what about the kid [ __ ]. you're all right man y the kid. [ __ ] seems like that came about when. they made celibacy mandatory yeah it's. an unrealistic uh it seems like before. that there was a time where the priests. were like the rock stars and I think.
that became a problem because they were. probably banging everybody they're the. only ones who could read Latin they're. the ones who are like Distributing the. word of the Lord cool ass outfits. everyone else is in potato sex I'm sure. like can't I just [ __ ] Jews or something. I guarantee how you end up in a well. before it was illegal I guarantee they. [ __ ] everybody oh yeah I like the. Catholic School it was it was prevalent. that's why a lot of gays become priests. because they're like this is an evil. thing let me go into a place where I'm. not allowed to [ __ ] anybody so it's cool. most PR D how about confession that'd be.
a good podcast confession podcast Rec. conf you think most priests are gay. dudes I think most current priests are. gay guys I don't think it's most but I. think it's a big factor of it where it's. like this is the way I can cover up my. evil desire Shane's out there collecting. data I don't know where you're getting. your [ __ ] numbers from Young dude's. becoming Catholic priest now probably. gay super gay do you know there's a ah. man every year there's a. God damn it. more that was a good one that was a.
really good one a second out of 10 I'll. get one you're like seven out of 10 got. two home runs so far bro you're on. fire got to keep drinking man yeah this. get [ __ ] up. huh we're trying I got the I'm in the. The Hangover hole so I got to go back to. normal with like two glasses that'll get. me to zero and then I can get drunk you. can do it yeah I believe in you yeah you. guys didn't go to Catholic school you. got the mo they suck the little dicks.
yeah you got sucking kids dicks giving. them herpes and [ __ ] I was the moral. assistant for a while just for that suck. bet you were you got a little snack you. got the crumbs that sweet that baby. crumbs you waiting like a dog at the. table they say give some kids herpes cuz. sometimes the mo babies have died babies. died died from herpes that they got from. the mo yeah damn that is outrageous it. is pretty.
outrageous Wild video of this guy. explaining why it's important pull it up. and really yeah that it's it comes from. a time when sand would get in there sand. yeah and the [ __ ] Des you got to cut. open a baby's dick that's not your. rucking wind. storms the dick Henry stop the bleeding. I'm not against circumcision that's all. right but you don't to suck the kid's. dick after only for the dick. sucking you want that sweet blood oh. it's so good imagine if they didn't cut.
the dick they just said look we we've. decided that's a barbaric practice it's. rooted in ignorance we're not cutting. dicks anymore but we still have to suck. them we got to suck them the book it's. in the. book the. book it's written down I got to suck. your baby's dick it's the wildest I. wonder if that's what [ __ ] start I. wonder if Hitler heard about that and. was just like what we got to do. something about it that was that was his. personal Pizza gate somebody was like. Adolf you know what they're doing down. there he like what the they told him.
when he was methed up too what what. these [ __ ] Ultra Orthodox reach. deal on circumcision suction ritual Bill. the blasia and made a deal with them. he's the one who killed our Park basio. Administration says moles should no. longer be mo sorry well should no longer. be required to obtain signed consent. forms before the right so say that Ari. this is worse last word Jesus Oh Mata. ma suck with a.
mouth I love getting [ __ ] nothing. better than a. nice yeah bro that's the yeah MAA of. course I got a Jew to write this arle. like hey who's allowed to write this. article Elon you got to write this one. Elon Gad yeah yikes there's right. there's an article saying it could be a. matter of life and death for baby boys. oh because of people dying from diseases. from the world how how prevalent is this. how much is this going on uh when I was.
when I was younger I'd see the the rabbi. just lick his fingers and then do it. like that touch the tip of the kid's. dick just wash it off a little little. [ __ ] up but he wouldn't be sucking it. yeah but he would still get his [ __ ]. herp he's on the kid yeah oh yeah well I. don't think they all had herpes I don't. remember sound rabis don't have herpes. God commanded Abraham to circumcise. himself what I don't remember that part. when Abraham was 99 he was the OG he was. the OG circumcision oh my god when Abra. was 99 God appeared to him and. instructed him what is this website. first before I no it's a religious.
website g-. d.org that the Outreach oh that's right. okay appeared to him and instructed him. to circumcise himself and all the male. members of his household including his. 13-year-old son Ishmael they're all gay. after the circumcision God sent angels. to inform Abraham that his wife Sarah. would give birth to Isaac the long. awaited heir to the Abraham to Abraham's. tradition so this is why the Arabs are. mad this was when Abraham was 99 he had.
a kid he had a second he his first kid. when he was ' 86 yeah but it's right. there it says when his wife Sarah that's. when he was 99 this is why the Arabs are. mad cuz they're like well the firstborn. son that's is this is not real 99 get. out here it's not real of course what. are you talking. about B they wouldn't write down. something that isn't real that's like. months back then it was just like I. don't know something was it Moses like. 800 or something you about that yeah 120. he got to 120 Moses you think Mark.
Norman's clock is bad do you know how. [ __ ] bad. their they had no idea how long a year. was they were just guessing you a fight. it'd be it'd be like yo it's Tuesday be. like dude I swear to God meet me here at. 300 p.m. what the [ __ ] that mean that. didn't mean anything for real via. kabamba Ecuador all these people liveed. to like in their hundreds and they. couldn't figure out why and then one. research went one researcher went down. there it's like how do you guys live so. long is the water or something and he. figur fig out they're just. lying back later they age 10 look what.
this says how do you say that dude's. name Ari methusa no the first guy lak. you say that L beet. Noah lamech begets Noah at age. 188 and Methuselah lives 802 years after. begetting him he was also the oldest of. all figures mentioned in the bible. Methuselah is mentioned once in the. Hebrew Bible outside of Genesis and in. Chronicles 1:3 I love the term be I told. a couple go to get rid of. it oh no what's the age of cons set.
there like. 600 how does that work 99y old dudes. having kids well that's you know we're. getting close now talking about which is. funny 800 they were lying but we're. actually getting a wild thing to do man. because you're not going to be around. getting carded be around you're just not. going to be around God I wish my special. could have been 47 hours I would have. covered all this [ __ ]. do it again do it again bring it back. you got yeah you probably could do Jew.
too just circumcision you could. do and have your nose come out of the. water that was wonderful the the fin. come on. man and then. jwu. J you can do it AR can I just say let's. film something dope I got my bonus. features I'll put out at some point the. like Q&A. I never put I never just didn't quite. make it to the special but can I just. say this podcast protect our Parks as.
some of the biggest specials around mine. was huge last year Shane's is gonna be. huge Mark Norman's top 10 for two weeks. on Netflix we're just waiting for one. more member oh you [ __ ] hack when's. this coming where is it I don't know I. haven't even thought about. it cuz they just been writing new. material and [ __ ] around all right. it's probably a good move I'm so busy. right now I just like right now I like. doing whatever the [ __ ] I feel like. doing well I wish I hadn't put mine out.
I got zero new [ __ ] yeah it's fun though. right is that it's fun but you know you. sell out a a show and people are like. hey we like this guy and then you go up. and they're like oh what. happened but I'll get there I'll get. there takes a while when you take that. stack of notes that you have how do you. figure out what you're doing well at the. the top there's no Oran the top sheet is. the uh the. topet and what are those back sheets. that's old stuff that's show give us a. visual well I didn't bring it today cuz.
I got crucified on the lab just my DMs. went nuts and now every show I do they. go pull out the notes I want to see them. well they're at the hotel in a. case you better put those the broom. server is going to throw those out well. once she see on there she she won't. touch it hi girl. me my M today moved the lotion and the. hand towels to my bed stand nothing. worse than that that's weird she moved. it to the yeah yeah she's like I've. waited on you before you left it on the.
bed dude you left it on the bed yeah. that's what it was you left it on the. bed D left on the floor she cleaned it. up I'm joking oh you left it on the. floor I didn't know she'd come in I feel. bad you're 50 oh you're so gross jacking. off leaving lotion on the ground and if. she saw your beard oh yeah do you have. Little Beard Tears On Your Pillow no but. if she saw you and she knew whose loads. it were God damn it I was hoping it was. somebody hot that's that old Jew load. crazy bearded man who lives in the. forest just whacking off up there came. out of a [ __ ] Lighthouse just jacking.
off I know you tugbo. Jew that. boat all you you studied religion more. than any of us probably I would say what. do you think started at all start a way. to exist for real no joke a way to exist. so we have some rules so nobody tries to. [ __ ] your wife anymore right make up. some rules for [ __ ] like that kill there. a monster up there so if you hit him. [ __ ] you up it's pretty smart it's way. build Society these. are but the problem with that.
explanation is that that would mean that. one person knows better or someone knows. better and they're writing these rules. out for everybody but it doesn't seem. like that's the case it seems like. everybody believed them it wasn't like. there was like a group of people that. didn't believe in the gods they all kind. of believed in it at one point in time. and they were writing like these rules. based on something but where the [ __ ]. did they like what's the real origin of. all those stories well it's like the. media narrative they want to tell you. what they want you to know I think it's.
just like every society was like we all. sort of agree with this so that became. like it's also it's also every H every. civilization does. it so just instinctively it's a human. instinct to be like there's something. else so yeah it's like the reason you. were talking about how nobody's content. which is actually probably a good thing. that way we keep striving there's got to. be there's something inside people. that's like there's something else got. just dying here this can't be it are. other we're not going to build this cool. pyramid yeah exactly so you know what.
bahai says bahai says like the things. you find in every religion like don't. kill don't steal don't [ __ ] your. neighbor's wife the flood that's like. that's probably the word of God. everything else is some church [ __ ]. it up like kosher like that's just you. guys Nah if you could go back if you. could go back at any point in time and. see how people were living oo it just be. like an an invisible bulletproof bubble. you could just exist and watch and no. one would know you were there whoa. that'd be fun if you were like. 1890s not the racist dinosaurs no danger.
yeah anything whatever you want 1930s. Germany no uh occupi occupied France. [ __ ] I would want occupi Wall Street. I'd be like this is so. quaint little you get guys know what's. [Laughter]. coming really good idea but like it. seems like you're not doing a lot with. it kind say dark dark ages plague oh. that'd be a. nightmare bulletproof is a good detail. too yeah you're you are in Another.
Universe okay you're you exist in. another dimension you're you're in a. dimensional sphere that's allowing you. to take place without you can't be. interacted with nothing can touch you. impossible you can't [ __ ] middle-aged. [ __ ] no no you can't go nutty can't go. nutty can't go nutty middle AG hores. were eight back. then everybody died at 15. Jack cougar 8-year-old cougar everybody. was dying they were just dying a book.
called The Great mortality by John Kelly. I was looking at is [ __ ] crazy the. king of England showered three times in. three months oh my God and that was a. scandal everyone was like this. [ __ ] is using up the water he. thinks he is something else no one it. was rare to change your clothes once a. year God well that's what they said. about the Mongols that their clothes cuz. there was. they were literally yeah rats literally. rot off of.
themes were like rotting off with them. there's two places I would go there I. would want to see gingas Kong take over. like cities in China I would like to see. that I'd love to see somebody being at a. pole Pot Village right before he comes. [ __ ] like that yeah imagine the [ __ ]. smell then that's Lou 14th was terrified. of bathing he said to have taken only. three baths in his life I thought it was. in three months. that's. a. consider Lou took the trend for.
perfumery to new heights by. uh commissioning is perfumer to create a. new scent for each day of the week oh. hold on. part thought water spread disease oh it. was thought that water spread disease so. the less you bathe the less vulnerable. you were she probably did y wow pond. water wow BR one those purifiers. [ __ ] into holes in the ground and. not washing their [ __ ] cities were. just say water everyone throwing their.
[ __ ] out of their [ __ ] window dud no. Plumbing slaughter houses. everywhere that detailed when people. were like the beginning of the turn of. the century in America and what it was. like in like the early 1900s in American. cities they couldn't get food up to them. horrible you think like Amazon's. dropping off your produce no like back. then no one's dropping off jack [ __ ]. living in the city no one's growing. anything it terrible Nutri Che this this. is article called the disgusting history.
of Royal palaces hell yeah just the very. like first thing King Henry's Court move. because of so much human waste that was. accumulating they weren't. just they actually did escaped the. disgusting messes large Royal parties. produced palaces like Henry's Hampton. courn had to be constantly evacuated so. they could be cleaned of the accumulated. Mounds of human waste no Plumbing. livestock and farmland also needed time. to recover after supplying food for so.
many people once the tour was over Henry. and a swelling Court of over a thousand. would keep moving for the rest of the. year traveling frequently between the. king's 60 residences in a vain attempt. to live in hygienic surroundings so he. just kept [ __ ] in all his different. houses he's the original sh. he [ __ ] where he ate that's where it. comes from I've been in there [ __ ]. eating poop for 12 years we got to move.
imagine these [ __ ] people didn't know. not to just [ __ ] in your house he's a. hoarder he just kept moving spot this. room's done you go outside you might get. hit with an arrow right [ __ ] [ __ ] in the. bance yeah guy with an axe out there's a. million Jason Vorhees. outside oh my God the hallways would be. become so caked with Grime and soot from. constant ties that they were fairly. black the very Crush of the Court. members was so dense that it made a. thorough house cleaning impossible and.
futile though cleanliness standards were. subpar throughout the the Medieval. Renaissance and Regency eras Royal. courts were typically dirtier than the. average small cabin our home I'll be. honest Europe still [ __ ] stinks dude. does it yeah I was just there last week. those F stink none of the windows are. great [ __ ] de they got the bo bad. they call us fat dude they stink like. [ __ ] I don't care true they do think a. lot oh it's the worst I'm not doing. great are they noticeably um fatter th.
th no they're thinner but I'm saying UK. is catching up big UK's got some chub. UK's on our heels really 10 years 20. years ahead of them all the fast food. and [ __ ] they just got get they're gross. like pasty and red there's nothing wrong. with being pasty red and. fed some people like it dude some girls. like it all right but yeah you know they. said uh in Old New York they'd have to. they had a a company that would just. move dead horses out the road cuz horses.
would just die and they just leave it. there what are you going to push it in a. dumpster oh Jesus who paid for that. taxes in this hor [ __ ] everywhere yeah. oh horeshit everywhere but it's like an. old car it just breaks down you just. leave it and by the way imagine living. in a whole city that's filled with. people who took a [ __ ] boat from. Europe everybody's a gambler dude. everyone's a gambler those are wild. Ellis Island must have SM might not get. there might not get there and how do you. how much do you really know about what's.
over there somebody lied to you at a bar. in [ __ ] Ireland dude the streets are. P getting 15 gold Pence a day and then. you show up and you're like what is this. black guy son of a [ __ ] you show up to. go hey you're going to fight in the. Civil War what the [ __ ] is that wait. we're in a war with Italians here we. even meet them before you got to shoot. it other irish guys right away. weird oh yeah the Donna party like let's.
take a chance on a different. state grandpa just died just keep. walking should we go next year ah we got. to go this year yeah something over. there Curiosity how many people had they. talked to that made that Journey before. them yeah [ __ ] was there anybody no a. couple the one guy was like I know a. better way the guide oh the guy said I. know better also was like you got to. leave by March and they were like May. late may still works. pre oh no they just assumed something M.
literally M literally map they're trying. to make a map they were just guessing. they were kind of guessing they would. eat like leather and [ __ ] yeah just boil. a shoe they were [ __ ] the whole time. well in the back of those wagons they. were all [ __ ] they would have kids. really yeah there's nothing to do you. just stuck in the back of a wagon with. Lady they split up one of the two. parties had one [ __ ] axe for firewood. and they were swinging it and then the. [ __ ] ax handle just flew off 200. yards into the snow and they were like. we're all.
dead he couldn't find it it was gone. what yeah they they had to Le lot of. trees on fire and that didn't work very. well uh did you read that book on the. the indifferent stars above no we were. just nearby there oh really all the. history is everywhere they found when. they found them they were like snow the. snow drifts were so big that they were. in pits of like 20 ft of snow they would. like the people the the rescue people. found them they would like look in the. pit they'd see someone just like yeah. eating humans like they're like oh we. got to just cover this pit this person's.
dead too not to mention some [ __ ]. chock TOS coming at you with a face. paint no they yeah they had a couple of. Indian guides and then they saw them. looking at them like drumsticks and. those. cartoons you guys are on your. own sack of jaia sack. lunch the wild thing is that's not that. long ago no at all it was like the 50s I. I would say it's like 1977 it's three. people ago but this is why we make up.
all these problems cuz look what we used. to have to deal with that's in our DNA. and now it's all easy it's a gravy train. and we got to make up. [ __ ] there's definitely that the the. less comp people like to stay at a a. [ __ ] pretty steady level of. discontent yes and when life gets easier. they find new things to hit that level. get mad about could be gender it could. be the climate. climate is I'm not trying to you know. minimalize it but it is funny to be mad.
about the. weather I swear to God I know it's. getting. hotter we're doing the best we can you. guys turn it down the hikers resigned. themselves to cannibalism and consider. drawing lots for Human Sacrifice or even. having two of the men square off in a. d several members of the party soon died. naturally however so the survivors. roasted and consumed their corpse. hey this gave them the energy they. required and following a month of. walking Jeff.
R seven of the original 15 made it to a. ranch in California and helped organize. rescue efforts wow they got roasted for. someone so pure and tan he sure tastes. like [ __ ] imagine just hanging out with. that dude if he survived. Don not much of a party you would have. done it you would have done it don't J. me please there yeah there was a lady. that was like silent about it she was. like a famous Survivor of it ice please. oh ice ice ice bucket yeah call ice ice.
bucket. challenge there we go thank you the. scariest part of that book The indiff. Stars about was the [ __ ] uh the the. planes were so like that was nuts back. the great PLS was like oh yeah it was. like it was nothing and it was an ocean. and it was terrifying but like a little. a toddler cuz you're with your family. and you would stop obviously but like if. a little kid got off the wagon and. started wandering around they would just. get lost in the Tall Grass oh wow you. couldn't find them coyote would eat it.
just gone there's rattlesnakes of. [ __ ] wow times just lose your kid. like 10t away from you and now I'm like. the Domino's tracker sucks yeah like. this [ __ ] guy didn't deliver my. [ __ ] hog Mohamed that's a good point. man yeah cuz it's not like all that land. was excavated and. [ __ ] there was rumors of easy way. through not like a paved road somewhere. just like there's less trees right there. I think we can get it but is that why.
there's people in Oklahoma cuz they just. stopped there stopped is that it yeah. sick of losing [ __ ] kids some of them. they gave them uh homesteads they gave. them homesteads because they used them. as bait to fight off the kamanche oh. they they couldn't get through Texas. Oklahoma the kamanche conquered this. whole area they they [ __ ] rolled it. because they were the best on riding. horses and they. kill people were real were wild Empire. the summer Moon amazing book but they.
just gave these people these ranches and. didn't tell them and then. all would just show up and just. Slaughter the whole family and then they. would have a reason to go after the Comm. and then there was like you know and it. wasn't until the Texas Rangers came. along and then they started using. Pistols that was the when they had a. revolver so it could shoot five shots. that was the CT 45 I think it was the. cult wasn't it wasn't 45. yeah but whatever the gun was the. original gun that that was the first. pistol and that let him go bang bang.
bang bang instead of bang and then a. [ __ ] musk you got to put the ball and. they're running at you throwing arrows. at you so everybody was getting killed. until they figured out pistols so once. they had a revolver then then the Texas. Rangers started and they also started. cold camping and doing but the [ __ ] is. wild D dude that revolver is like you. know them move with the aliens you like. finally blow up the ship and you realize. oh there's 14 more in the whole movie. was blowing up one like oh we're [ __ ]. they must have been like we're barely. fighting off these whites and then it. was.
like it's over they got us they start. long range rifles that was the moment. where they were like oh it's really over. damn they got a [ __ ] yeah all the. Buffalo Hunters had like basically. sniper rifles all right just give us. some blankets we'll call it even yeah. those guys were getting really good at. making long rles blankets have a smell. on them small. bucks yeah once they had rifles it was. kind of game over but those Texas. Rangers were so tough they're badass. guys that was a wild thing to do man of.
them were bad they oh really everybody. was yeah everybody's bad bad was like a. standard back then is a different. standard sure just a a few hundred years. ago everybody was a murder all you had. to do is not shoot someone in the back. you were facing him at a table and they. weren't reach for anything it was fine. those old west movies they probably. watered it. down you know C Army revolver that's it. single action Colts patented Firearms. manufacturer this is in. 1871 damn that killed a lot of people so.
once they first you know started using. those things the whole game changed. imagine buying one of those you're like. hey I won't die yeah this going to save. my. life yeah and you're running after the. commanche and I think you had to take. the whole centerpiece out change it yeah. you had to take the whole thing out and. you could have another one how quick was. it to change over he had oh it had six. sh shots mhm that's pretty good pretty. good that's well for back then that's. crazy 1871 wow yeah how long did they.
have the first Russian roulette with. that they didn't they had some didn't. they have some revolvers in the Civil. War the American Civil War they had like. carbines and [ __ ] right 1871 but that. would have been before yeah so they. would have to take I think they'd have. to take that whole Center piece out the. original ones you see there in the far. right all right that's it oh yeah so. that comes out and they put another one. in there you had to have a packed one. already right yeah yeah probably had a. few on your pockets you know that you. were you were carrying around with you. cool is that in the Army when they're. [ __ ] talking [ __ ] reloading yeah.
let's go and they get back up there yeah. it's cool that's. fun that's part movies then [ __ ]. colonized pal oh jeez it oh yeah no it. wasn't swamp. before wasn't literally a swamp before. the [ __ ] Jews got there how'd you. guys get there what what on British. ships yeah you need the go yeah the go. gave it to you didn't and how did you. never. mind going too.
hard this is a good clip good oh. microphone oh. [ __ ] don't you have a train to. [Laughter]. catch history is fun it's crazy that. [ __ ] really happened well it's crazy. that it didn't happen that long ago yeah. you just like when I was a kid I would. think about World War II I thought it. was so long ago it's but it wasn't I was. born in ' 67 just got done. God 20 years 20 years so that's from.
here to 2003 2003 was a long that's not. that long ago it's crazy 2003 does not. seem like that long ago that that was. like World War II from the time I was. born that's crazy that's wild you know. what's crazy the kid AJ and Sopranos is. now the same age as gandal in the first. season. W. wild seems like I should be older that. seems like it ended up million years ago. that show was amazing great show killed. gandini killed him got a character too. he ate himself to death is that what it.
was if you pull up what he ate on that. last night he was in Rome just going to. town I think he was also doing blow. probably I think that. partc look at B chryler he's still out. there kicking true first becoming an. actor he like I need the I only take. roles where the character drinks a. lot yes the machine I don't think the. roll killed him no I'm joking that's. what they always said he got so [ __ ]. deep into those [ __ ] murder so he was. like it was a dinner roll Jam G's last. meal included two portions of fried King. prawns fogwa and eight boozy drinks.
that's not bad that's not so bad that's. overblown that's a something out a large. portion of this heart attack well Google. James gandini. cocaine gandini rules great guy he was. so good dude so good he was so good I. think he was only 51 51 51 damn Ari I. know you're done he said to have eaten. the entire meal by himself along with. two rounds of a pina colada and two rums. on the side before having another two.
beers these guys. this dork someone's a rat someone's. ratting on him they're being like he. died from the food it's like no um but. did was he doing coke too or is that. just a r i don't want to say that an. actor he did oh good point he did just. that I don't think it was a panic cloud. and shrimp it is crazy that is I think. he was probably doing a little hey Siri. how many shrimp has kill people think he. was doing something awesome probably. article says chronic cocaine. abuse it's all.
in there you go what is abuse Dr Hart. and what is. enjoyment what is this abuse talk heart. attack why are we using this language. this restrictive language of abuse good. point we'll Coke every now and then I'll. keep you flying right you know the wild. the wildest the wildest number thing. that we were just talking about the. other day that between the invention of. the air from the first flight with the. airplane for wilver and or Wilbur and. Orville wri it was less than 50 years.
before they dropped a nuclear bomb out. of Wow We Like War that's fast how Wild. is that 50 I'm not surprised that's wild. I mean that wild that's insane flying it. off of an aircraft stupid [ __ ] plane. that they had the first. time barely works I barely works that's. my new material trying to get off. eventually it'll get there. it'll be a giant. bomb Oppenheimer they go from that to a. nuclear bomb dropping on Hiroshima yeah.
and the plain part was like the also ran. of the story yeah yeah good times do you. know gay you ever seen the movie Flight. he does a lot of blow to to to stay. straight well the comicazi were all. doing some form of eventure oh yeah it. is pretty crazy when you see a [ __ ] up. guy at a bar they go to the bathroom. come out fine. that's true effective it does do its. job yeah AR's not recommending it ladies.
and gentlemen my observations it's. effective yeah yeah look at these guys I. mean this is pretty wild This Is 50. years after the invention of the [ __ ]. airplane God these guys are that's great. a cockpit from Star Wars so nuts it's so. look at that thing that's beautiful I. mean now go back to the stupid Kittyhawk. one I love these let's look at that one. yeah let me let's see the original open. up a new tab so we can go back and forth. so now it's like can you believe I sat. in the runway for 30.
minutes we lit it's called a Runway cuz. we literally had to [ __ ] Fred. Flintstone Run start. this bro look at this WOW Carolina look. at that. thing that counts that counts if it. breaks apart it kills everyone instantly. right but they go from that that what. you're seeing right there to a [ __ ]. giant plane that can carry a nuclear. bomb America or an atomic bomb we got. the car the plane the phone the radio.
it's so beautiful that. nuclear oh so wild what a crazy. invention and then that's when the. aliens start showing up a squid it's. almost like we were sent to Beacon them. the aliens just immediately start. [ __ ] hovering over big cities and. military bases what the [ __ ] have you. ever heard squids are aliens you people. doing [ __ ] Mexicans you ever heard. squids or aliens squids have you ever. heard that yeah I think I think from him. yeah right that thing looked like a. squid it's a beacon to the [ __ ] call. the rest they never die those octopus.
are like Immortal that's Hiroshima thing. turns into a balloon oh that's a great. one scientists are so horny about it. yeah they are I've watched this one the. scientists are boners watching this has. the flopping ears looks like it has much. longer yeah damn that's. cool and that shrinks too really small. the ocean is just space the other way. well the the it is you're right that's a.
high. thought that looks like tell me that. doesn't look like an alien they're big. bushes wow it's like AIA it's like a. [ __ ] putting on a show for that's a. circumcision look at him stand the mo. stepping in right now I can def I can. defin do my ball skin oh yeah oh my gosh. yeah could you a little to the shoot. that [ __ ] thing yeah what's it doing. that's wild but that to me is not as. wild as. octopus when when octopus can change.
their texture to look exactly like a. instantly when you're down there they. like oh there's one and go back to me. gone I want that explained to me like. how the [ __ ] are they change texture go. go to octopus camouflage. it's and they shoot ink I believe Dr. they shoot Dr not Dame highlights. what they can do is e this volume what. they can do it's so wild is they look. like the floor they they change texture.
as well as color they take texture they. don't just look like the texture no they. they can make their skin look different. they can make it look like rocks look at. that look at thatly that's an octopus. yes man no way yes oh there it is I see. it now. dude oh wait no he had he had the stones. on top of him oh this one did no but. some of go to the ones where they change. colors and that Blended in if if octopi. are aliens they're doing a [ __ ] job.
watch this what here we go watch this. whoa that's perfect texure go back to. that again free look at the tentacles on. it it changes texture so it changes. texture look exactly like what it's on. top of it's like dool so fast it's. within a. second how does it know. dull I mean bro how smart are those. things what's going on that's a m. Evolution look at. that come on adapt here we go look at.
it's look it's figuring out what the. color of the ground isly sh and then. once it figures it out it changes to. look like the ground it's got. transal oh and they're they're gangsters. they grab things and eat them look like. a lion for p it up I mean what a [ __ ]. up way to exist all they do is CRA [ __ ]. off you cra cra crab going to get it CRA. crab crab is zero chance he's in for a. fight dude what are you going to [ __ ]. do those things are.
delicious I do love a crab crabs are oh. look at him going down this hole look at. him go down a hole whoa look come on. that's an alien yeah it's an that that. thing was an alien that's an alien and a. gator is a dinosaur oh for sure looking. like snakes oh he's eating the fish well. Gators existed when dinosaurs existed. you hear me call that Jamie that was a. good call what's that I said he's trying. to be a lion fish hey you're a lion. fish are you going to pee again no I was. getting some ice why are you chastising.
him for peeing I thought he was going to. pee the old man nasty I got to pee soon. when I pee when I pee the bong's coming. back. dude we're turn the Jets up a little bit. then we this octopus [ __ ] it's time. for Mike allad highlights Mike allad. who's that football player football. player who didn't die in battle what. football player who didn't die in B all. right what did you just say about. Michaela he's a football player yes he. didn't die in battles should they no I. don't know how about that Bo Jackson he.
was strong he was yeah he could break a. bat over his knee yes all St let's go. who's this guy [ __ ] white hunk one of. the last. whes the last of the great whites and. mcaffrey well you see Johnny Manzel look. at this dude get off me you [ __ ]. idiot that was a great great little. documentary a white guy breaking out of. a Target. [Laughter]. power. back that is a crazy ass Sport come here.
[ __ ] wait where where you going. can't believe you're actually playing. Mike allot highlights how old is good. job isin't it wild that America's number. one sport is without a doubt the most. violent yeah 100% in terms of like. collisions it's War well UFC it's like. neck and neck with like who's number one. now yeah but UFC has some regulations no. no sport what is the number one sport in. terms of. NFL UFC hasn't passed like NBA I think. it's cornhole top most broadcast events.
of last year it's mostly football footb. what's the flag look at that there's one. soccer game at 38 those like the TR what. is the lighter football Trump dog. college football a college football game. these are all NFL games specifically. it's all football except for a couple. soccer and one horse race one. Olympic the turkey made it in there. turkeys on 40 two or three soccer games. which are probably World Academy Awards. was 77s gays don't support their own so. that is that's the.
number without a doubt most you 82 of. the hundred events were uh NFL games was. a slap in the World Cup those were the. soccer games was World Cup if that was a. different year zero yeah good point oh. Messi amazing oh wow that's that's. America sport baseball's out it is and. it's so violent no not a single baseball. game basball rules though R it's a way. to get drunk but you have to have free. time for baseball yeah yeah same with. football yeah yeah dude they had a.
couple part of the thing time yeah they. had a few $4 Yankee tickets in the. outfit this year you just go there and. chill right hang yeah I would so when. you guys go to see baseball games since. there is a lot of downtime you just. mostly talk [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] with your. friends to talk we go with all the. comics sometimes 15 Comics over there me. and Mark had nipple tassels one the year. just sitting up in the in the [ __ ]. bleachers having a good time talking. [ __ ] we got hammered on that day Jesus I. you usually yeah that's about as drunk. as you get as a baseball game oh yeah a. lot of beers so long and [ __ ] boring.
you're just like be they're going to. close in the seventh we got to get as. many beers as we can right now and you. pregame yeah and then you post game it's. a [ __ ] good sport dude remember Jose. cono he was. fun yeah he did steroids that was sick. yeah he told on everybody Daryl. strawberry. have we talked about John Rocker on here. John Rocker ruled uh J please find John. rocker's interviews dude he was the guy.
he was like the the radio imp impetus. for uh P yeah oh really Muse for Kenny. Powers you got to love that McBride was. a baseball player be a serial killer. there's one there's one quote who he has. he's like I would never play nework you. got to sit next to some queer with. AIDS Jesus Christ the one thing I hate. about New York is the foreigners how the. [ __ ] did they get into this country look. you can walk an entire block and Time. Square out here anybody speaking English.
Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and. Indians and Russians and Spanish people. and everything up there how the hell. they get into this country Jesus Christ. he threw Russian in there that's a way. yeah Jesus Christ look at that yeah it. wasn't race it was just like really. America Sprint out of the bullpen dude. obviously on steroids his neck was this. B come out of the [ __ ] we got to get. rock. dud before the quote before the quote I. remember my dad being like son sit down. you got to watch this guy really yeah.
just him cuz they they're in the same. division as the Phillies so i' would. watch him he was lighted out he was a. great closer yeah he Beast yeah till he. said that thing about he said that one. thing he like easily the first guy to. get canc there he come yeah big dog what. year was this that's a different guy. doing it late ' 80s that's 90s when was. grer early 90s remember IM no rocker was. like 90 mid90s mid90s I was watching it. people used to say crazy [ __ ] all the. time all the time Jimmy the Greek was.
the best oh Jimmy the Greek Jimmy the. Greek and the guy from golf who was like. well women can't be as good cuz they got. these big tit St around well that's true. both both of them were right yeah I like. what do you mean I think they just did. did some chess organization just ban. transgender men or gender women. compe I don't know wait they have. separate divisions for men men are. smarter than women apparently chess is.
not just one sport for men and. women um the Queen's Gambit is not real. uh World Chess body bands transgender. women from women's tournaments what is. there a [ __ ] strength component to. chess I don't understand why there's. separate no it's mental brain well poker. they just got one yeah but it's even. more of an advantage to be a man. mentally that's the only way to say. there two. divisions I bet I bet the federation's. based in like Russia oh yeah I bet it is. hold on no no no this makes sense right.
here change of gender is a change that. has a significant impact on a player's. status and future eligibility to. tournaments therefore it can only made. be made if there is a relevant proof of. the change provided you can't just say. your trans you got to have this surgery. whoa players will have to provide. documentation that the gender TR change. complies with the national laws and. regulations through their own Federation. it then has to be confirmed in writing. that the players familiar with the. restrictions established by these. regulations and undertakes to comply.
with them yeah they're just saying don't. cheat the system this is like when Jews. apply for African-American grants. because they say I'm aaq and. Jewish allowed and everyone's like. that's not what we're talking about yeah. right well the Asians are getting [ __ ]. with the colleges yeah although they. took that law away I think affirmative. action yeah so now means Asians are just. going to fill up all colleges ah hey the. best they're the best look at the NBA. who gives a [ __ ] if they're the best. they're the best yeah let's have them. they're our country they're number one. let's have them without a doubt and they.
keep quiet about it yeah they're very. smart people well if there is a group of. people that's dominating any one. particular field and someone is. competing with them I guess you're going. to have to do better yeah exactly I. guess you're going to have to do better. clearly if you're intellectually. competing with people that are working. way harder than you and it means more to. them and they're more serious about it. than you they're probably going to get. ahead of you that that first week of. college when you see all the Asian kids. like we've been studying oh this is not. weird for us right you're like damn.
you're getting ahead well look at the. Indians with the spelling be they kill. it they crush it cuz their name's are. rash. Mahar VC R Swami yeah there is no way to. [ __ ] they really know phonetics they. been spelling that crazy [ __ ] for their. whole. lives it's vake it rhymes with cake. apparently vake vake rhymes with cake it. was that one it's so funny hearing these. names and not knowing anything about it. just hearing like a name of like a. political guy well that's fascinating. for you Pro like for me to know you too.
cuz you don't pay attention to anything. so it's interesting like what gets to. Ari what what is what does something. have to be like so interesting or cooky. in the world that got to me yeah. espe uh yeah submarine like what gets to. me what else lizo you hear rumors lizo. you hear rumors of things I heard this. music like. there's like a. thing a good way to approach life cuz. only the really serious stuff gets in. there right the only news I need is.
weather report right you don't want to. be sitting around wondering what the. world economic forum is plotting who. gives a [ __ ] to you yeah none of this m. you heard about Hunter Biden and all. that heard about it a little bit yeah. big things you hear about okay what. about The Queen Is Dead you hear about. the Queen Is Dead Capital Riot Capital. January 6 yeah I was in Ecuador on that. I sent a text everyone was talking about. it I sent a text to to my view is a meet. on a hammock looking at it like. beautiful woods and J goes oh yeah. you're winning this. nice you want to be here for this [ __ ].
show did you hear about. barisma what's barisma don't worry about. the place Hunter Biden worked oh don't. worry about when is Will Farrell gonna. play him in a movie that would be. amazing o cocaine bear too yeah yeah or. McBride either of those guys do a movie. will farell could kill it could kill it. he's a little too old though I bet. they're close. although back when Hunter was really. killing it back when Hunter that's he's. you got to get a younger guy yeah James. Franco there you go true The Return of.
the King he's got a little stank on him. yeah that might work that dude leaving. baggies at the [ __ ] White House wow. he didn't give a [ __ ] allegedly might. not be him aror reper do know it is the. White House true how do we know we don't. know honestly I bet a lot of people. doing cocaine there I would hope so such. a sweet to do cocaine obviously if they. like if you're if you don't do Coke and. then Obama or Trump or Biden was like. line it up you'd be like I'm doing coke. obious you think Obama did coke with.
people is that what you're saying I. think he did krack and at gay sex with. his Chef Jesus Christ. shut is here Jesus Christ I don't think. that for real whatever happened to that. Chef by the way uh he ended up he. drowned in a pond oh 2 feet of water. yeah that's a weird one you. know I get you boy but imagine though if. the chef really did drown Obama be like.
[ __ ] no one's going to believe this guy. no chance guy [ __ ] this guy yeah 100%. And then you got Tucker Carlson saying. he has gay sex oh yeah he keeps saying. over over fired up Tucker is wild now. that he's on Twitter you can say. whatever the [ __ ] you want so funny he's. not right or left swe oh really he's not. right or left you see that that the. worst thing he does though is he does. this thing so I was watching the. interview he did with like the Hungarian. prime minister you guys see that one. uhuh I'm telling you I'm watching all. these [ __ ] things it's very good if.
it it's I mean maybe unless the. Hungarian prime minister is a [ __ ]. nut job which you know could be he's a. [ __ ] Hungarian prime minister yeah. HPM but the whole time they're talking. about like the war in Russia and all. this very serious stuff but occasionally. [ __ ] Tucker will just be. like the Laugh is bad he does this. [ __ ] dumb ass laugh who he was was. Gomez when Gomez was on there and he. goes uh and he goes uh what how do you. feel about Apex Gomez just goes Lewis. just goes uh polius is gay you hear who.
Tucker really is he just goes like he. hasn't had someone speak honestly for a. while he literally laughs like he's yeah. he's like Royal yeah he's like. what who the [ __ ] laughs like that. there's an old video I saw him pack his. in and I was like this guy's a fool oh. he in he's trying to be cool no you. don't need to pack these he literally. was. like in sometimes Shane hates people for. frat. reasons how do you pack it you don't.
yeah you just he players beer prong and. lets it bounce that's skull you could go. that. way oh you look like a downsy he's just. shaking that like a monkey with a stick. has nothing to do with the c yeah I took. shrooms the other day uh penis envy the. the strongest shrooms on planet the. worst but I went and saw a concert and. they weren't kicking in so I kept eating. them and my buddy was doing a Zin I go. let me try one of these put it. in shroomed my face off it like kicked.
it up it was not good pretty neat I. missed the whole concert they they do. that in certain ceremonies they blow. tobacco smoke on people no you snort. tobacco it kicks it way up it was a huge. mistake both yeah there's people snort. tobacco that's like mixed with a bunch. of other [ __ ] too oh yeah yeah there's a. stuff called I think it's called. and they [ __ ] blow it up each other's. nostrils snuff. like yeah like you stand over there and. I have like a bamboo shoot.
WAOW and apparently it's nasty and your. [ __ ]. nose you and your boys shooting [ __ ] off. each other's [ __ ] find whatever that. [ __ ] is you're going to go nose see if. you can find that stuff they shoot up. noses it's like a a blow gun filled with. a drug I think it's called K but I don't. know how to spell that K those guys were. having a good time having a good time. they figured some stuff out take it down. stuck in the jungle you got a leaf over.
your dick but I know how to get high as. [ __ ] bro and this river is filled with. fish let's go think of figuring out how. to get high back then [ __ ] Hut in the. jungle you're like yo we're getting. ripped dude this one rap rap it's more. rap what the [ __ ] it's a shamanic snuff. it contains niia Rustica type of tobacco. also known as maacho it's different from. the tobacco used in cigarettes which is. nio Tiana tobacum although it contains.
tobacco you don't want to smoke rape. Jesus Christ Yik instead it ministered. to your into your nose it's like that. cat Williams Show he's like this shit's. called rape it also contains other. medicinal and sacred plants including. parts from tree bark leaves seeds and. various plants once collected the. components become pulverized with a. pestle and strained through a mesh the. result is a fine light colored powder. different combinations of plants provide. different uses and effect and the exact. recipe is often kept secret by the.
shaman that's how bad people want to get. high yeah they'll try anything remember. when they were licking frogs backs I. think they probably still are they still. are yeah they still are they they get. their secretion and they smoke it the. secretion off of the Frog they'll like. put it on like a glass like a window. pane and they they rub it all over and. the Frog freaks out creates juicy [ __ ]. to keep people from eating it and then. you put the Frog back in his little frog. box and then you uh let the [ __ ] dry in. the Sun and you scrape it off and smoke.
it how do you figure that out how many. other things did you try stuck in the. [ __ ] jungle yeah I guess so crazy. people you got no you got nothing going. on all you do mushrooms and the trees. talk to you now we're talking man cuz. that's the simplest one imagine the. first guy's like can I eat that yeah you. can you know you can eat it you know. people try it they don't die so they. know which ones they can eat but imagine. some of them you're [ __ ] starving. trees will speak to you bro you're. starving you're starving you're you. literally your family might die and you.
stumble upon a pound of mushrooms and. you scoop them up and you bring them. back to your family and you're all. eating these mushrooms just blown out of. your [ __ ]. mind blown out of your mind empty. mushroom and empty stomach pounds of. mushrooms so say there's like an open. field and it just rained you get up in. the morning dude everybody's doing toad. now I keep hearing about. it that's what they Mike Tyson calls it. the toad the toad it's that dud looks.
like the kind of guy that would get you. DMT oh yeah he totally does look at that. guy's is like the the unnecessarily. necklace but waking waking up I mean you. would have been that would have been. like a religious experience if you took. mushrooms saw no one ever took mushrooms. before that you talk to I saw God be. like Y no explanation of it well that's. what Terence McKenna thinks created. people he thinks it's it's called the. stoned ape theory he thinks that people. started experimenting with mushrooms and. that was responsible for the doubling of. the human brain size over a period of.
two million years yikes it's a. fascinating theory that his his brother. who's like a legitimate scientist is. look at what is this. guy a toad son whoa whoa he's out. wow that dud in the center of the. universe right now trash all over the. Beach it's not it's not a beautiful. beach at all holy [ __ ] look this dude. [ __ ] with his trip banging gongs and. [ __ ] wow oh imagine these dudes standing.
over you while you're tripping balls. this guy is having up [ __ ]. blast he's in heaven yeah probably. literally yeah that's probably what it. is. whoa they're having a good time it's. Margaritaville rip yep the buff. and Smashmouth I thaty on the way out. right he did die you for that Smashmouth. guy died he's an allar what's that jam.
he. died no I didn't deserve it on that dude. did too I went to mine I got mocked for. get it's Jamie Jamie Jamie he he's. thirsty I did the guy from Smashmouth. die J yes he did passed away today yeah. right yeah liver kidney yikes [ __ ] he. had a good run a great run dude that was. a great song a very tiny run what are. you talking about that song's incredible. got one. song don't do it you might as well be.
walking on the sun was that that was. good wasn't that them yeah that was good. they got some [ __ ] bangers dude. Smashmouth. rules [ __ ] Hipp hippie [ __ ] you. listen to two songs you listen to. [ __ ] yeah what do you go. furthermore just listen to gu. Smashmouth smashing oh he's bringing it. to Jamie son of a [ __ ] can you play. music on here or is that a we could play.
some okay kind just do then we see what. happens I can't get enough of you. Baby good dude oh you look at you're. defending smash M they they were't also. ran shut up and also ran Jesus Christ. are oh it's very cold right so cold it's. so cold oh my God. so cold it's hard to drink the pissan I. already pissed be I pissed I snuck out. you beat right I beat everybody Joe.
you've been pissing a lot lately dude. I've been clocking it I'm worried about. it you got soft ever since you. challenged me dude your Chin's been. rocked your chin been you're. weak oh hey we should plug it's very. cold y j I'll be in Oklahoma City. tickets aren't moving come on out and. I'm in Europe Mar comedy.com Portugal. huh oh yeah going straight from here to. Portugal which going to be a Nutty coach. plane ride that's fine that's how. everybody lives oh yeah what do you got.
I'm Ari shafir I'll be in Philadelphia. Minneapolis Minnesota Chicago Kansas. City Iowa City Indianapolis Louisville. St Lewis Louisville Tempe Tucson Boston. Foxwoods and Albany and watch all our. specials r.com yeah today is Shane's. special yeah watch it on Netflix yeah. the killer notch on Netflix for sure. make it number one make it the most. watch special of all time yeah that'd be. really cool beautiful dogs spoiler alert. beautiful dogs references one of the. bits that was Adam Adam OT really he.
said you got to call it that cuz naming. a special is [ __ ] lame it's hard they. like I say live in [ __ ]. Virginia was cool yeah beautiful dogs. Adam. egot go e gets the best Good Egg great. guy I love that guy he's trying really. hard nothing I love more than trying to. get Dr he's trying really hard not to. get [ __ ] up oh you get to him too. Holocaust mdal he does deny the. Holocaust yeah it's fun to wave Coke in.
his face cuz he's like he starts. twitching soad he wants it we all did. mushrooms one time in Joshua Tree we had. to just went late night from The Comedy. Store like let's just get out there and. IG was wearing his manager suit so we're. wandering the desert he's wearing a. [ __ ] full suit I think hinchcliff me. Edgar and him and then it's like he's. just crossing a road and some car comes. by he just sees a dude with a black suit. with a black. tie what the [ __ ] at 3 a.m. Jehovah's. winess shroom to the gills shroom to the.
gills wandering around the desert shroom. to the Gillis hey. hey woo Smashmouth Smash Mouth. everybody's dying [ __ ]. vaccine CO's back and nobody care I know. three people who have it and they don't. really give a [ __ ] I think you're about. to have it for real probably I think I. might have it. super I think I might have it I've had a. cough that won't go away for about a. week again are you lying [ __ ] that he. didn't even tell us I confessed my co.
you know right away it's going. off [ __ ] stupid [ __ ] 321 what do you. do when you do shows in Europe and that. [ __ ] just goes off it happens all the. time and I I hear audience going the. watch that's the watch they love your. stupid watch oh yeah I tell you this. thing take why you just said it to the. right time if I knew how I would Jesus. got four buttons it's a fun watch I like. it it must be so easy to figure out hey. you want to try yeah you [ __ ] throw. in the trash yeah I can figure that out.
for sure not if you're thinking about. puns all day drink. this you got to watch what you say here. we go it's. cold it's an ice bath you can cff it out. oh he's got so cold come. [Music]. Ono I feel like we could I feel like I. can talk you into doing things I love. you I love you a I love you for real but. love you for real too if I feel like I. think you're the man to bring Bud budl.
back I think you and Tim Dylan pair up. if budl has some balls throw some real. [ __ ] money at a campaign malan's got. balls funniest guys two of the funniest. guys on planet Earth one of them is. straight sober and you're just drinking. Bud Light the whole time talking [ __ ] I. mean that would be it. put if they had they [ __ ] put out a. series of really funny ads about people. go all right it's been enough time Tim. sober but he's like all right they paid. their dues when I'm done ripping ass all. day like stuffing kids.
butts Jesus Christ when you say kid you. mean. 19 for sure for sure for sure college. kids for sure hopefully I don't know. rookie rookie NBA kids he's got good. taste and twinks no yeah he's got good. he's got good twinks yeah yeah twink. Master to me that's the thing we just we. were just in I was in a college town for. a month yeah you see 21 22 year olds. you're like that's a [ __ ] kid and you. see the mirror while you're walking out.
of the [ __ ] bar you're like holy [ __ ]. I'm I'm just an old man I'm just a gross. piece of [ __ ] you are to them what I am. to you for real that is the age. difference yeah and I'm the next step up. above that yeah yeah but you look you've. got that alien blood yeah you're a. [ __ ] alien you're an octop post dude. how cold is it Mark keep don't don't. halfway it don't halfway mark this is. for the troops dude so for the troops. did he.
halfway finish it I got three four. Russia's going to win dude three four. Russia's going to win this is for. Ukraine dude measures that like he. measures his dick 3 from the ball every. 34s of an inch counts I go from the. taint all the way up give me an extra. two Ines what are you guys those that's. funny you're like biblical you're like. yeah he was about 800 years. old my dick about [ __ ] 5T long yeah. what kind of what kind of goofy calendar. did they have in the year zero no cget.
about it they were just going dude they. like didn't we just have a winter like a. like a couple months ago right are we in. the wrong spot did we stay in the wrong. spot like if you [ __ ] up and you moved. to Alaska you're like what is this. [ __ ] no month Nightmare and you just. thought that was normal you know how. during the summer you forget what it's. like to be cold yeah you know what I. mean they must have been like they must. have literally been like ah [ __ ] it's. never going to be cold again yo you know. when one of the dopest vampire movies. ever is yeah let me hear 30.
days days don't get me started on hard. dude you got to avoid them love that. movie that was Josh har in that big Josh. har was one of the alltime greatest. white Josh's yeah he's the best very few. what happened to that guy she was in. Blacks where did that guy go he's still. around he's around. was but he rules in this movie start to. talk over each other that means it's. good give me some clip give me give me a.
[ __ ] trailer for 30 days night I've. never heard of this. movie vampires land in Alaska right when. there's going to be no sun for 30 days. mean Land wait not vampires in a boat a. boat wait wait I thought it was people. in homes which one was that no 30 days a. night is the vampires that come in there. was another one in Vampires Alaska here. this is the trailer that ain't no. vampire this is the trailer this all. about vampires is this a comedy you. stupid ass holy. [ __ ] you probably thought it was just.
your. relatives cuz you're Jewish oh Viking. that's what I. mean this movie [ __ ] rules I've never. heard of that what year 2007 yeah 15. years ago look at these jewi cool. vampires too they're freaky. looking but what year is it set in today. oh Alaska.
sucks the time is. com yikes I am Nando the. Relentless such a good show I thought. that was mat there's look at how heart. net is dude especially bundled up I'd. love to shack up with him oh in the cop. outfit Ben Foster [ __ ] rules he rules. in. everything he's so good in everything H. high water H high waters he's so good in.
this and he's like the perfect vampire. familiar you know someone wants to be a. vampire so bad G G's top five familiars. all time was great. familiar Sam. rayy can you handar me a beer please yes. sir vampires you know vampires it's time. for me to release my hellhound Doug. Peterson so they like it cuz there's no. sun no sun they don't have to go to.
sleep at all. approach oh a lot of blood they're. tearing through everyone's home this is. terrifying I'm not gay but when I was a. young man heartnet was my guy really. yeah when I was a young man I was like. that's the hottest guy possible I go. Paul Newman young Paul is pretty hot The. Hustler so hot yeah but you were no now. now no but I'm saying when you were a. young man like hardnet was the man he. was a hard drob yes when I was very.
young it was jtt he was on the cover. oft Jus good he quit the business. Jonathan Taylor Thomas get yeah yeah. yeah he [ __ ] everybody people got a. hold of him if Jason mimo is in the room. they all have to sit down oh a little. too beefy for me I don't know man I'm. not into I don't like muscle guys I like. a good heartnet really yeah give me a. you don't like muscle guys muscle guys. I'm like dude take it easy Jason Mo the. one in uh in uh take it. easy you know what I mean see who's mine.
who's mine who's your hot guy Paul. Walker was pretty hot but he's kind of. girly n that's why ick. himly pretty face you stopped one. quarter of the way through a. beer you're talking about girly Japanese. never fck you talking about he looks. like a flat chested lady bro that was. 1947 1947 dudes were going over there. and running up on the beach to get. gunned down beginning of Saving Private.
just keep sending troops eventually. we'll get to those turrets Jesus Christ. man that was not imagine any requiring. any of that from a 20-year-old kid today. we would all go well requiring that for. many of us we would all go for real no. for real no I'll just leave you're going. to have to kill me here I'll just leave. no way well just the OT seeing that. Omaha Beach and just seeing everybody. get mowed down and you got to go towards. it they got a so r that whole ship ride. there and then the thing opens and they.
just yeah guys were getting gunned down. you couldn't get closer to the [ __ ]. beach brutal isn't a ubot to submarine. uh yeah those things those [ __ ]. Landers are something different but I. thought they were OTS too oh how many. American soldiers died in the Battle of. Normandy how many American soldiers. thousands and thousands that I mean yeah. like 4,000 12,000 it's way less it's way. less it's like two or three there's a. that's a so what do they call those. those are Hues it wasn't a ubo so that.
was in World War II yeah how many people. died on sub looked like in World War II. yeah probably way less probably like, 1800 how did they get rid of their [ __ ]. what do you mean dumping mental torpo. torpedo the sh torpedo [ __ ] out yeah. 2400 what do you mean oh get rid of. close to 911 was America suffered 2,400. casualties out of 3400 34,000 Allied tro. casualties too that's not even deaths.
sounds kind of nice. casual the beach thir so 34,000 of them. made it 2500 that's pretty good odds oh. dday itself yeah that was The Landings. and [ __ ] man 4,000 Allied troops were. killed on dday itself including 25001. Americans check out the Battle of curse. cuz how many people died oh this is. [ __ ] the downer section of the night. F bong and beers talking k Mark Normy. see how many tanks. died that's like fine Machin if you go.
back yeah you check out kers pretty wild. huh whoops 800,000 Soviet million people. million what the Red Army defenses held. firm but a great at a great cost of Life. although specific numbers are still. debated amongst historians it's. estimated the Battle of kurur k k k. caused around 800,000 Soviet casualties. and 200,000 German casual I think they.
lost more tanks than we lost people at. Normandy hey all right America that's. just like how many Soviet casual how. many troops do you have where you're. like these are assets we can lose about. this many of them wow there's a lot of. Russians 800,000 how many people were in. the country at the time they saved us. the the Russians Russians won the war. dude they lost 20 million people Wow we. lost. 600,000 that's why khabib's so. tough youever see how big that place is.
on M this sounds like you don't want. Ukraine to win oh [ __ ] hey that's what. it sounds like to me I would love for. Ukraine to win I don't want like what. you're doing it makes me trust you less. I love zinski I want Ukraine to win but. I'll tell you what Joe if ifs and butts. were candies and nuts you all have a. wonderful Christmas you. [Laughter]. know oh my God I don't know what that.
was but I loved it it's been going on. pretty long though huh you didn't expect. it to go on this long what we got a lot. of money UK we can keep that thing going. as long as we want it seemed like it' be. over in 3 weeks it's like an Aerosmith. song bro train it's like a j appow movie. it won't. end we keep it going we lost Maui I'll. tell you that just bro they're making. money yeah that's what it is they're. making there's no money in Maui real. tell you what they got my.
Airbnb huh those [ __ ] that space. laser shot down my. Airbnb what Uncle laser I was going to. Lina [ __ ] I was trying to go me my. this is very this is I no for real. obviously it's horrific what happened. but uh firefest too fire jesz that's why. they should had burning man all right. keep going my friend growing up his name. is Jared shout out Jared we uh we always. wanted to go to the Maui Invitational. the college basketball tournament every. year up South City and.
uh so this year I finally had enough. money to be like yo we're doing it bro. we're going to Maui and I got a sick ass. house in. Lina and uh we already know the ending. of the story show enough yeah they Ed a. space laser and [ __ ] ruined. it is that is that is that the rum is. that funny space laser oh do you get. your deposit back no I'm fairly certain. it was obv trying to do it do you get. your deposit back tournament well I yeah. but I did get my deposit back I was not.
going to ask they just gave it I was not. going to ask for the deposit back yeah. have you been to Maui no yeah I. heard magical place nor I were there. together oh that's right Black Rock. Beach now. black wild conspiracy theories about. what caused everything this is a fire. this is clearly a fire with a hurricane. off the coast with wind well it's also. there's video of the power lines going. down [ __ ] cons never do any repairs I. have no idea what their resources are.
right I would imagine they're probably. depleted after Co like everybody else is. especially a place that relies entirely. on people to show up you know like for. tourism what percentage of that is of. Maui's economy to be massive right no. way the start of fire was caught on. camera no way what holy [ __ ] Show. YouTube channel of course it was a white. say possible cause of first fire okay so. when took the power lines down it. shouldn't be that easy to take a power.
line down. yeah hurricane win is Hurricane win. hurricane but they're ready for that no. they're not they don't get hurricanes. that much okay they don't no it's very. Lush why what do they get what's a big. storm for them uh cuz they get crazy. storms Pearl Harbor so hurricane is. straight to fire damn Jesus Christ they. did get hit with the PE Harbor oh yeah. bro that's crazy Pearl Harbor was. probably around those casualties too. yeah that was up there 911 dday and pro.
Harbor all very very similar m c best. fist fight I ever saw was in that Maui. Fest that we went to who was F it was. like a native Maui Hawaiian guy tough as. [ __ ] those guys are scary as hell and. then like a a white guy who obviously. had training yeah and they just went at. it in a bar and it was crazy it was like. a movie dude actually fighting is crazy. crazy a real fight is like dudes. wrestling and be like if you're in. Hawaii there's a real good chance a lot. of the guys that you're going to run.
into at a bar know how to fight K real. good chance kick BJ pen and and Max. Holloway two of the greatest of all time. Hawaii all time great also one of the. greatest fan bases well there's always. fights in the stand at UFC one of. Hawaiian fights really it's just. standard yeah it's like two to one well. they're living on an island yeah and. they hate Whitey they hate white but. they're just out there like let's go I. think they hate douchy Whitey W they. hate the douchy Whitey that comes in. [ __ ] with their way of life guilt they.
hate they hate white. you everybody though I know there's. tension over there man if you [ __ ]. move in and buy their land and build a. [ __ ] dve Busters they have a small. amount of land imagine what it's like if. you had of an island and people start. just buying up one [ __ ] internet guy. has a whole island none of you can come. just me what a what a baller move but. you know everybody can go there's four. seasons on it. I he just owns like 80% of it no he owns. the whole [ __ ] Island bro but you. could stay on his Island that guy's a.
[ __ ] [ __ ] that guy a [ __ ] let no. one on if you're a [ __ ] man well what. are you talking about if he was a real. man he wouldn't let up Four Seasons. there get out get out tourism they got. to have a Four Season I mean that's. Catch 22 because they hate all the. Whitey coming in but they also bring in. more Whitey who spend money so do here. it's like. slavery God damn what I don't know where. you went with that but well it's a tough.
one cuz you know slaver is horrible but. we got a lot sugar. yeah you know slavery sucked but we sure. did get a lot of sugar and coffee and. cotton Jesus boys no no I was being I. was joking cuz I was the joke was that. sugar and coffee is not worth the human. obious that was the joke oh I don't know. coffee's pretty good the problem is if. you too [ __ ] up to hear the begin of. jokes you're like wait what like no not. [ __ ] this up I would just like to.
explain this for any with a more. critical eye Mae w. we all right all right let's get it back. together all all right sorry. folks hey the Irish were slaves and the. uh the Jews pyramid barely dude. apparently there's more slaves today. than there ever was SL was legal yeah. and the. Wagers and well what's happening with. those folks I don't I hate. wigers we don't even know what's going.
on in Ukraine see he did it to we don't. we don't we don't really know we don't. know [ __ ] lot of Nazis out there how. could you know I think we should be. trying to know who's the one guy that. had a Nazi tattoo and he had his sleeve. covered when he received an award. zalinsky no no no no no no no he's the. guy who played the piano with his dick. what yeah I don't know this guy no. zinski that was zalinski yeah when he. was a comic yeah wait all the single. ladies Dan zinsky was a comic and he.
played the piano with his dick he was a. Pianist but what was the other guy I was. asking about uh the other guy I was. asking with swasa some guy see if you. can find that so some. guy received some award in a cup it was. like I think I want to say like an actor. gave it to him I forget who gave it to. himing. when he receiving his award he had. a this year the winner of this year's. killing. award no surprise here.
everybody a landslide repeat from 1943. what did they name it before. him St I gu so the award was something. they gave him at the beginning the. beginning of the The Invasion where. everybody was on Ukraine. side hey Stuart Ukrainian Nazis were. invited to Disney World by the. Pentagon 2022 DOD Warrior Games Lial. comedian John Stewart even honored a.
former hardcore aov militant for his. personal example I mean there's a lot. more than not sharing the story but this. is the guy so that guy has his tattoo on. his elbow and so he had it covered when. he was receiving his award that's not a. swas tattoo that's a dream catcher you. don't see to many [ __ ] Stu he's. hippie true pretty fun it's cute that's. a whole whole than [ __ ] Mickey Mouse. that's made by Walt. Disney ironic how do we know that's not.
photoshopped how do we know that's not. photoshopped no Mickey mous that would. be a good way if I was a conspiracy. theor there you go I would say i' like. to see the original photo please hey. guys because that's a little convenient. this guy's got teddy bears and also he's. a Nazi one of those two are photosho 10. something's wrong interesting something. wrong isn't it funny we sided with the. Russians to defeat The Naz now we're. siding with the Nazis to defeat the. Russians interesting so when he receives. his award he's got his left arm covered.
is that a. cast yeah it does look like a cast like. somebody tried to break his arm because. they thought it was a Nazi thing and it. wasn't it might be he's just like really. into designs he looks bionic it is. Arabic originally. yeah I went to this uh Indian temple. there's an Indian temple in Woodland. Hills and it has like. yeah backwards swastikas all over the. place I don't buy that that thing a. swasa if that guy's really a swasa guy. he's just [ __ ] making a swastika. what's that [ __ ] high-tech design he. has that's that's not a n he covered.
over it what do you think that yeah what. is that that's a misinterpretation of. what the first thing maybe he's just. worried about the interpretation of it. is that what you're saying yeah maybe. because it's like just get a swastika. what what those. guys guys what he got what he got was. like electric that guy the roeller. center they had. found on piping and valves during. construction project at the state cap. the opposite way right what year was. that why are you confused by that they. bought piping from Nazi Germany yeah.
they were making steel well that's why. they're confused before they did all the. bad things interesting they're making. some cool [ __ ] yeah. Mercedes that's why it isn't German but. Volkswagen oh it's not even. [Music]. German wrong though somebody's just. playing a little joke bro bro he's an. apologist sounds like he's a little bit. of a Hitler apologist right oh [ __ ] they. were making. steel problem it's American made.
according to this oh my God it's. American made and someone put a Nazi but. is the the the symbol for goodlock so it. was PR that hind it's before that 1920s. according to AB the 1920s a best arama. that's so wild this guy IND all your. stock and swastikas you're like it's a. symbol of good luck what what could. go I got the copyright I [ __ ]. mortgage my house I don't know what to. tell you buddy it's like uh Corona.
during Co stocks are going. down no no guys guys guys you don't. understand I owned the swasa you did. nothing wrong but it's over it's like. when Merill Street was like Harvey's the. greatest it's [ __ ] good luck guys you. can't make you killing the Jews it's. good luck it's so funny to just be like. you're never going to believe this the. worst [ __ ] thing that's ever happened. to. people that symbol you like and invested. in and that's your symbol and you put. the worst guy ever we and then like 10.
years later like people are doing. construction on houses and they know. that you put these pipes in there swasti. is on it like hey Mike what the [ __ ] is. this you're like no no no no no back. then the swasti was good luck guys guys. guys guys guys guys guys back then it. was good luck those the same people who. got beat up during 911. not even us here's the other thing like. back then how the [ __ ] would you know if. it was a symbol for good luck what are. you going to go get a book you're not. going to believe this [ __ ] how where.
am I going to get a book where am I. going to get a book in 1947 on what the. [ __ ] the original meaning of the. swasta called Mind comp how much how. much digging do I have to do how much. digging do I have to do to find out the. truth no Google in 1947 you're [ __ ]. that Cil had thousands of years TW. Germans had like. it's amazing a good graphic design what. it used to be a [ __ ] thing that some. shaon karate guys would have on their. geese pull it up J Mo because it was.
like a shodokan symbol shodokan I don't. know what it's I think it I think it. existed in like many different cultures. I think it's the sickest [ __ ] symbol. it's a great design it's on every. motorcycle in Indonesia it's everywhere. really it's so so weird you're just like. what backward but you don't know which. way it's facing in your mind when you. pict you're like I don't. know for you. yeah look how many of them there were.
wow graic so so Germans is right to left. we're back here every on top right to. left protect ourg right to left at the. angle yeah we do one that's the German. one right so good the good luck left to. right no wait right yeah I know but. who's left to right. you know what's really bizarre you 100%. see those kind of things when you're. tripping you don't see them like that. take see swastic you you don't see that.
you see like infinite versions of that. with like squares and boxes and tubes. and [ __ ] but you see that kind those. kind of like swirling moving geometric. patterns it's funny they don't have. German on there like I wonder if the. origin of that was people tripping I. wonder if the origin was like someone. eating mushrooms and seeing these wild. crazy patterns and saying oh that's good. luck hold on wait could you go back to. the Hindu one although that guyy is. hilarious dude that's so crazy the the.
one that said Hindu look at that star. David swasa cuz like I've never seen a. swasa wow it's facing the right way I've. never seen a swastika what I'm tripping. but I've seen the geometric patterns. like that that would be like a I would. certainly see how someone who had. tripped before would think of that as a. represent ation of what you see when. you're tripping and why do those ones. not ever go the the other way oh don't. click it Jamie because you know what it. seems like it's it seems like it's got. motion to it you know what I'm saying.
and that's like what you when you. experience like when you're tripping and. you experience like whatever the [ __ ]. you're seeing good luck they don't. they're not static right right right. they move they're constantly moving and. rotating and that looks like if I was. going to have like a two-dimensional. drawing something could see where you're. tripping balls that's what it looks like. that's what it was it was a good luck. thing for thousands of years and the. [ __ ] nais just took it over that was. the second they second worst thing they.
did and. also it's the crazy thing is like how. good they were at engineering how good. their [ __ ] cars were oh they're very. efficient how good their engines were. dud they suck dude [ __ ] Germany. I'll be in Berlin in one week dude bro. they did some wild [ __ ] they got Rowdy I. mean yeah at this building in San Diego. what is that oh my God it's a swasa. building that's purpose [ __ ] no that's.
the right way but that's the correct way. that's guy went son of a [ __ ] still got. a still got a Jewish landlord that's. Jesus. Christ. absolutely oh my God but we uh we used. to live in the Lowery side me and my. ex-girlfriend and the Jews would they. own the building like a I'm talking. hidic yeah and he would come in to like. fix something they have like a tool belt. so weird to see like a rabbi with a. beard like that a yamaka the tassels and.
a tool belt and he would fix your. plumbing but he couldn't look at the. girl he would look at her that's sick it. was wild that's very nice it was nice. wow got to keep his hair that's the type. of Tool Guy you want you don't want some. [ __ ] Jack taky coming in oh good. point you're sitting there like a [ __ ]. where you're like I don't know how to. fix a shelf some jacked guy comes in and. fixes it he's like that took 5 seconds. and then but the pipe's got a swastic on. it and he tosses inco. pipe I got to replace these pipes.
they're guys guys guys this is my. business this is my family business it's. all fun and games for you but I own the. swasa it's good luck guys that's all it. is it's good luck this is a fat it's. good going pass look it was good luck. for thousands and thousands and. thousands of years slightly differently. you really think that the Nazis are. going to ruin forever I'm telling you. guys I very big on the swas it's coming. back that'd be like if the Horseshoe all. of a sudden became the symbol for.
killing you know Muslims or something or. gay right right right it's a game they. play now. yeah. right there you go things like that do. happen I mean rainbows used to mean. leprechaun yeah oh yeah poles now it. means sucking another guy's ass. let me come in your butt and suck it out. of your butt and that means rainbow any. time I see a rainbow I think about. sucking a guy's [ __ ] dick and nuts so. much of my [ __ ] or someone else's [ __ ] in. your butt that I could suck out guys I.
don't think I think Pride well remember. Pride used to mean something else Pride. was like we have pride I think I'm the. best of sucking out of dude's butts the. proudest I am true Pride but doesn't uh. doesn't the Bible say you shouldn't have. pride is that one yeah so there you go. you can have it sin the Bible top seven. yeah no how everybody got confused and. thought that you shouldn't be gay that. was in the Bible don't be so proud of. your and [ __ ] was proud of your great.
life [ __ ] that nor McDonald joke. about that is so good the pride about. he's like I love that mclusky you old. dog he's like some guy working at a. factory he's like here's my son he. graduated he's the first of the mlus to. graduate from college he's one of he's. like yeah here he is sucking a guy's. dick that's what I'm most. [Laughter]. about anyway it is oh when he was on. Dennis Miller and I saw in it there were.
these old men and old ladies like with. these signs that said we are proud of. our gay son that's an odd thing to be. proud of you know because it's not an. achievement you know it's not like. something you work all your life to be. gay or anything like that hey you know. my oh my God we're proud of him Johnny. he uh graduated from Harvard you know. now he's articling over at the LA and oh. yeah he loves. [ __ ] watch Dennis. Miller that's hilarious that's a great.
bit yeah he loves did you ever see him. to the one about the uh more black p. means more crime yes he's like radio. poor people commit crime the lady's like. no they don't it's like wait what got. show that one they call in they're like. no we are poor yeah no we're poor yeah. it's great cuz the lady keeps calling. him a racist he goes and he goes wait. are you saying black people are richer. than white people like no I'm like well. then what the best what was this on it. was on a like a morning radio show when.
you had to do that like to sell out a. club oh he's just making intentionally. like combative points that are correct. he's like the original Ben airo that's. when he had the uh the teachers put that. on. nor he's like I riled up watch this no. he was being funny yeah he also said. teachers aren't Heroes he's like they're. not Heroes it's just the tallest guy in. the. room Heroes well you teach people to. color Heroes I know we're all such a.
great the Lou the Lou joke about. teachers is so good what is it but just. like you are a [ __ ] loser he's like. you go up to a building and they're like. yeah you got to teach all these kids. math he's like oh do they want to learn. about math like none of them want like. wait well which kids is it it's just. like whoever's closest to the building. going to bring all the kids in I don't. remember that one yeah I think it was. 2017 oh my God open for that was a great. one really you're open for that if you.
see the beginning I'm I'm hugging him Jo. hug teach them that that's what this is. at the uh the teachers amaz daugh of the. American Revolution in DC here's the. worst thing about this country to me is. that there's there's no more noble. profession than to be a public school. teacher it's easily please oh here it. goes you're not going to like it you're. not going to like where it's going I. don't recommend clapping at anything. you'll regret it at the end of the. thing in a democracy there's no more.
noble contribution you can make than to. teach in a public school and in this. country the people that do that they're. [ __ ]. losers just Rock Bottom [ __ ]. loser there's more there's more tell you. what's crazy about like I know I'm going. guys guys oh my God please stop please. stop stop I'm going so dark with it this. is 2017 precancel obviously and me and. Joe liist would run out to do an open.
mic and Lou would go with us open m yeah. just do an open mic at like a bar in DC. oh my God he's a psycho after your show. after the show after filming a Netflix. thing he'd be like where you guys going. I know where he was big hunt Big H was a. good open m big hunt was good and people. went ape [ __ ] when he walked in. obviously obviously yeah oh yeah that's. amazing but then you go out to eat with. Lou and you watch him eat and you're. like oh man you were like my hero. W problem dude I went oh man he's a bad. eater I went to a Yankee game with him.
we got like sweet tickets or something. and it was just all you can eat oh no he. goes sorry sorry but he goes uh Hey man. you're about to be grossed out by this. oh he he knew it yeah he was like this. free burgers I'm just telling you now. it's going to be disgusting for you. let's go sweater gets. ruined [ __ ] mun that guy can. Munch he can Munch please jerk. off as a Jew I was like Yo dude oh it's.
all over the the [ __ ] beard and the. shirt he needs a lobster bib I saw him. one time in the cellar and he was like. doing whatever B he just stops there's. crumbs on him he just goes [ __ ] is wrong. with you [ __ ] on. you brilant brilliant guy but you're. like oh wow you're just like us yeah. yeah those Smart Guys those real. brilliant guys are always they always. have [ __ ] crumbs on them. [Music].
yeah time to wipe myself off after a. meal the yeah the vent diagram of people. with crumbs on. them like the dumbest people on earth oh. they got a wicked booger or something. yeah yeah smartest guys I know are. always [ __ ] disgusting Ein I'm sure. Einstein had skid marks and [ __ ]. Einstein was disgusting. disgusting some guy at at at [ __ ]. Einstein's dining hall was like that guy. [ __ ] suck worst.
godamn everywhere i' bet my life. Einstein had horrible breath imagine. 100% imagine a scientist that look like. James Franco no way unbelievable dress. is slick zero punch him in the belly. you're not going to listen to him anyway. you want you want to do with [ __ ] up. hair look at that guy that guy. he he smoked cigarette butts he picked. off the street. son there you go called it we called it. bro that [ __ ] picked cigarette.
butts off the street and smoked them he. look like Community College walk on well. it's like brilliant guys always have a. like nor McDonald couldn't drive right. you know like they always have something. missing that's why they're so smart cuz. they're not using that brain power for. other [ __ ] I heard nor used to ask. people to go play tennis if they had. cars and on the home from tennis he be. like we should stop at the. supermarket we go to Nick mullen's. apartment perfect [ __ ] squat rack in. a fake race car perfect example the.
smartest guy I do anything never had a. license mear is a [ __ ] [ __ ]. [ __ ] he's one of the quickest. oneliner guys ever [ __ ] it's crazy. genius level comedic brain yeah yeah his. his like him and Jimmy D are a perfect. combination we watched those videos they. do together CT just kind of sits on the. side just chimes in talks [ __ ] it's. great but he said that show's kind of. [ __ ] him up really he goes before that. I never really considered how many of.
these things were real conspiracies like. that that are real like how many. different things a bummer it's like it's. it's kind of a freak out you're into. yeah CU like if you're Bliss free. ignorant just running around having a. good time living your life same result. kind of happens it's the exact same for. the most part you're not going to shut. down the CIA and you're like oh [ __ ]. there's just a period you go through. that's going to save us there's a period. everybody goes through where you're like. oh [ __ ] I realize it's wrong and then. you get over that like it'll never. change goodbye I'm going to have a good. time yeah like Nate.
bergi third stage but he thinks. dinosaurs and people were hanging. out Is that real he's got a bit of about. maybe oh he really believes though yeah. no he made as well he goes I know this. is lame but I don't believe dinos are. real that's hilarious I get that it's a. joke that's why I'm saying it but like I. actually don't believe it he doesn't. believe it yeah w i get it yeah oh I've. talked multiple people who don't believe. dinosaurs are real Neil degrass Tyson. thinks gay is a. choice what no because he decided not to.
he's clearly gay Jesus Christ well we're. not allowed to talk about sexuality I. don't care there's nothing bad about. being gay so I can call people. gay Mak sense now you must be a bigot if. you think that that's bad listen I'll do. better I'm going to do better I'm going. to do better this is a [ __ ] learning. moment this is a teaching moment thank. you appreciate if I called Neil degrass. Tyson a big [ __ ] gay guy that's a. compliment doesn't matter what do they.
think dinosaurs are NE to ass people. that when they find dinosaur bones what. do they think they are test from God. [ __ ] fake [ __ ] a misprint from. God s you off the path big dogs you guys. hid that we hid that [ __ ] didn't Bill. Hicks have a bit about that what about. dinosaurs like the Gods was [ __ ] with. us wasn't there I think there was a bit. like that fact check dinosaurs are real. not invented in the 1800 fact that's a. good fact check that's oh journalist. that you wanted to [ __ ] believe in.
something that's a good story you wrote. bro I know people who have been on. ranches when they found dinosaur bones. they like that's a big [ __ ] dock I. knew this why is the ranch Irish this. dude in. Montana this dude in Montana they found. osur ho hock. look at this the. dinur dinosaur hoax apparently there was. some hoaxing going on by people that. were claiming to have found dinosaur.
bones but not the The hoax is not that. dinosaur bones are real cuz there's a. bunch of shyers throughout history. there's always been said all dinosaur. bones are replicas from China I love it. I love it I love. it do you know birds are fake believe it. know birds are fake you know the new one. Helen Kelly wasn't deaf or mute oh wow. she's just playing dumb she was just. playing dumb I guess so that's the new. one telling Keller is the lie so is. Frank no they don't do that oh there's. got to be someone out there a an Frank.
nonel there's got to be let's be got to. be an an Frank there got to be Jewish. propaganda and. Frank Tik Tok thing troubling Tik Tok. conspiracy theory questions whether. Keller was real she lived a long life. she was real she's hotter than most. hookers I [ __ ] oh what and. smarter wait Helen Keller was alive in. 54 wow Helen Keller didn't hear.
Elvis so this is just some wild Tik Tok. [ __ ] is that what this is yeah I mean. she's a terrorist what say she's a. terrorist Helen Keller is the Nazi guy. she's a terrorist Helen Keller was the. blind and deaf person who was fake what. who what these are the comments that. were on the video comments here's the. real thing about Helen Keller she. thought [ __ ] people should be put. down that's not even fake yeah wait. really how you know how do we even know. that she thought that that was that's.
[ __ ] she thought she thought. [ __ ] people were like an Abomination. to be put down but imagine if Helen. caretaker was someone like you who gets. into people's emails and sends fake. emails does that. kind why you [ __ ] assle caretaker. into her [ __ ] ERS like you guys are. heaping all this Praise on her let me. tell you what she thinks about people. with Down Syndrome she's actually a Nazi. terrorist then you drugged her na. terrorist guy a Nazi Terrace guy like. what is the [ __ ] literally deaf and.
dumb literally what is the [ __ ] he's. going again oh now this one's funnier. hey we're back long be that one's funny. that one sounded like you stepped on a. frog. just I [ __ ] out a toad stool hey. that's pretty good guys I got a good. story for you we got a story it very. funny so I was at not Dame or Notre Dame. Navy this last week in Dublin you.
Hunchback yeah I am a [ __ ] Hunchback. that's why it worked you just got back. from England from Ireland yeah wow and. uh anyway the first night we're down. there we did a show Thursday then we're. down there might I brought my Father. which was very funny to see all right so. this guy comes down Phil's down there we. go to this. with Brady Quinn he's one of the Notre. Dame alltime Legends J Mo knows him I. know him J Mo you know Quinn he's duin. Ohio boy yeah let's go hell yeah but. Buck guy we're at this bar we're.
drinking after the show this [ __ ]. Irish kid shows. up he is Conor McGregor Skin Tight Pants. [ __ ] button down no offense to him. coked out of his mind you've never seen. someone this high in your life like. so he swipes we're sitting there. drinking he swipes all the beers off the. corner of the bar reaches over Brady. Quinn's shoulder and is to me he's like. big [ __ ] fan man and I was like oh.
thanks man and Bray Quinn just gave one. of these like [ __ ] who the [ __ ]. this guy damn this guy's crazy yeah and. when he did that he bumped him a little. and the guy immediately was like you. don't [ __ ] bump me he started [ __ ]. doing his whole UFC thing so he's. spazzing we all have to break it up we. have to break up this fight for 20. [ __ ] minutes Jesus I turn around my. father is back there. going his fist turn around he's ready to. goil [ __ ] are you going to do all right.
Phil Phil tried to fight him too Phil if. Phil would have died defending Brady. Quinn in Dublin OH I'd be a hero Vikings. death that is how my dad should go. totally I mean that's Legend anyway yeah. so we break this fight up the guy's a. fan he's like ah let's do a [ __ ]. Jagger bomb let's have a [ __ ] let's take. it easy man [ __ ] I was like all right. I'll do it we [ __ ] we get [ __ ] face. this guy's on a Coke rant for like 15. minutes of just straight like. [ __ ] Quinn so you can DN Quinn Ru Quin.
he's the man so he's a handsome dude. this guy's full UFC he's genuinely an. MMA guy he trains with McGregor yeah oh. really allegedly he was on cocaine he. might have been fabricating sure it's. Patty pimp but you know how these guys. go he just shadow boxes the whole time. you're talking to him and he's like yeah. [ __ ] bodyy shot shot liver liver bang. straight to your [ __ ] face back out. this guy sounds like a nightmare hell. and you can't you can't move you can't. like Flinch to the body CU then you'll. literally get punched in the.
[ __ ] and then we're like oh we're. going to get killed and he's like ah. you're a [ __ ] Nate Diaz guy aren't. you and I was like no way that's what. this is about this guy's going to beat. my ass in Dublin for being a Nate Diaz. guy right anyway the the whole night the. guy leaves everything's okay the next. night get done with the. shows Brady's in the green room we're. all hanging out we're having a good time. that [ __ ] Irish guy just walks. straight into the Green Room what what. of the theater yeah what and Bray Quinn.
looks at me like what the what why would. you invite this guy I did not invite. this [ __ ] guy he walks in he's. like [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] I was like. dude this is the whole time he's just. he's still Shadow Boxing still bothering. everybody in a good way though this at. this point it's fun yeah he's bothering. everybody we start walking we start. going to a bar he's like ah we go to. this [ __ ] bar I'm like dude all the. bars in duin Clos at midnight he's like. nah this is duin this isn't [ __ ] gay.
New York the bars stay open every bar we. go to his. closed dude Dublin sucks New York rules. he's like you know we don't have in. Dublin [ __ ]. pronouns the next three people that walk. by us are gay interracial couples. holding hands. I like D's. gay we finally get to a bar this guy by. the whole time all he's been doing is. trying to fight everybody we get to a. bar we start to get to this bar and he. kind of is like a let's go to that bar.
you're a [ __ ] Legend at that bar. let's go to that one not this one I'm. like let's go we're going to this one so. we go into the bar as soon as we start. walking in a. bouncer a just a bald fat bouncer walks. out and is like. you just beats the [ __ ] out of the ey. this whole time he's been like I [ __ ]. knock out anybody no problem why thr a. regular he must have had a problem with. he knew the whole time he was like let's.
go to another bar the second we get to. this bar five boun or swarm start whing. that's what he didn't want you to go to. he's like no no we're good here now this. is how cool this [ __ ] guy was he gets. his ass be he's bloody split open he. gets out of all five of them runs down. the alley and then turns and looks at. all of them. goes He squares up and runs off again it. was like damn that guy. ruled Jesus proba does that every. weekend it's a hell of a drug anyway.
that was the best guy I've ever met that. duin hilarious in duin he's like I. [ __ ] run d man we [ __ ] you do. vicker Street yeah what yeah vicker. Street [ __ ] rules great V the the. Irish crowd is like their [ __ ] they. yell out the whole time having time. though they're [ __ ] funny funny. people I had my beer on a [ __ ]. speaker and it fell off and they go. nuts all you have to do is hit a [ __ ]. up the ra anytime they're giving you an.
Applause break go up the raah what's. that mean up the IRA. [Music]. oh wow you're getting political in. another country up the up the raw in. Dublin's fun up the ra he's we went to. Belfast anyway shout out Danny you're. the [ __ ] man we went to B fast you. know Northern Ireland for the UFC once. and they cars that are covered in like. steel plates no way for bombs wow is. that the. cocktail I don't know I don't know what.
they were doing like what kind of bombs. they were using but I know that they had. armor plated cars it was wild to see it. was wild to see we saw more than one of. them it just shows it anybody will fight. anybody any difference it's not racial. or anything it's just like oh you're a. Protestant I'm cathic British then oh. that was British still unite the Island. School him please yeah that was the. British I thought the Irish hated the. Irish no no no it's Northern Ireland.
still not Ireland oh really yeah still. not yeah yikes Dublin is Dublin is. Belfast is still UK yeah Dublin's. Ireland remember the DOR joke about uh. Ireland he like a country worth only. white Christian Catholics and white. Christian. Protestants racism will find a. way that's what I'm saying yeah no. that's a British it's like The Hoots and. the tootsies yeah it's like we'll find a.
way to fight human beings are always. going to find something Republicans and. Democrats it goes on and on non-binary. and regular gays there you. go there's a lot of that going on yeah. yeah you're not one of us you're not. like. us like we're fist we're the number one. like no you can't be above us we're. number one right and trans women and. real women are fighting or or biological. women. whoops it's a weird time kids it's a. weird time it's kind of fun all comics.
and [ __ ] regular real Comics going at. it yeah yeah all Comics are dying to. last there's no more coms it's not even. that they're done this. is from the grave yeah their whole thing. was they made fun of doing standup yeah. now it's like just do it you can just do. it try to do it just try to do it it's. kind of cowardly yeah that whole thing. of like delivering a joke dumb on. purpose can you believe this thing I'm. I'm writing and saying yeah how about. you stand behind it you que que it's too.
hard it's too hard and I have too much. plastic in my system they do have small. tank they do have small it's proven old. Comics have tiny dicks classic and why. is everyone mask [ __ ] I'm an old comic. your mask back on everyone dude how. funny is that all the writers now and. the actors are like oh there's a strike. let me go back to standup and it's like. [ __ ] you've taken 15 years off welcome. back to the G you're not this anymore.
it's a it's it's a thing welcome to H. hell oh it's 18 people on a Tuesday [ __ ]. it enjoy yep we've been here the whole. time yeah and this is what you have to. do stupid yeah but best job in the world. yeah it's the greatest there's nothing. even second best yeah you mean you see. that Norm clip you're like I want to be. that guy well it's just the most fun. thing to do when cuz everybody's having. fun you're having fun they're having fun. we're all having fun together doing. shows imagine just being an actor and be.
like oh I think this but I can't say it. yeah let me try to find a role that kind. of aligns with My Views may also. whatever also Marvel it feels like a lot. of them are starting to crack a little. yeah they're starting to crack like go. bad and like crack like they're in the. wrong environment going bad is just like. I'm a. republican people like oh my God this. guy's crazy yeah I know right the gold. post keep moving they do Jennifer. Lawrence just do a speech did you see. that where she said like hey we got to. chill out this is getting out of hand.
damn she's so hot she's so hot and then. uh basically makes her a Nazi that's so. hot damn Jennifer Lawrence would be. hotest Nazi can we just chill out as. like get out she would be. my James Franco is Hitler they would. have won messed up [ __ ] messed up. who's playing sty I'd like to see little. Mel Gibson sty actually yeah he's. halfway there a beard he could pull it. off pull it off oh yeah come on bro' be. gay [ __ ].
him oh yeah Eva Bron was kind of hot not. kind of dude that's a good pick dude. [ __ ] number one guy in the country. you want that that is photo filter she. got a filter. on she had filters way back there yeah. the one just to the right of that the. one all the way on the right of that. it's like one above that Jamie the black. and yellow one right to the right to the. right of that one. jie. Jamie next one the next one. Jamie that's a weird yeah you already.
had it up she's partially elf that's. when she knew she was going to die her. dad was an that's like that's like. President yeah yeah dud she [ __ ] the. number one gu he pissed that's pretty. funny like the end of World War II years. has got to be like President years times. 100 look how scared she is. Bo heard bad news she's literally dating. Hitler I just like I just liked his. art and in the beginning the parents are. probably proud yeah oh leader h oh. you're dating the leader does he have.
his own sword very good it is weird that. they have to have small talk at dinner. like oh hopefully he will make good. decisions for our country Hebron uh did. you feed the dog average dude Hitler. suck dick so how was Exterminating the. smartest hot take. he's running trains Hitler sucks dude. Hitler sucks does suck I like how you. just take a strong stance it's really. important that you not just be funny but. also take a strong stance look into. Hitler you can find out how big of a.
[ __ ] tool that guy was he suck only. vegetables and he farted all the time he. was a [ __ ] dork dude he got what he. had coming another wrong with farting. and he's a painter yeah that's about his. [ __ ] lame as a good you kill a lot of. people like painting they do they like. like. really enjoys oh yeah Jim. joh Jim Cary that's the drip though. Hitler looks cool as [ __ ] there that's a. pretty bad out that's a not bad outfit.
at all that's pretty [ __ ] cool before. the [ __ ]. hit right now he was just starting to. use Liquid Cocaine intravenously really. just starting to plot his future he was. like some of these Jews are good tailor. one ball one nut he only had one yeah no. way kick boxing like d same birthday no. Hill and dun one nut one nut bro Two. Nuts Dunc was imagine if Duncan is what. Hitler would have been with the right. parents and the right just the real.
problem is determinism it's like where. he was born at what. time happened to him at a young age if. Hitler got way into burning man it. really did have only one test to go. researcher claims but that's what I. would say too once he's dead and he only. had one nut that piece of [ __ ] he was a. one nut Wonder d if Duncan went through. World War I maybe he'd be a little. different he had an undescended right. testicle it said undescended perfect. that's it's Evolution it ideally that. both of them in there to protect you. from nut shots W it would protect you.
but you would overheat bring. on you ah my knuckle it's about the. sperm count the daily storm what the. hell was that bring M conf back in the. schools we need it the sack that's what. the article say always surfs sound bite. you know one of the things they found. out with monkeys is that the size of. their testicles is directly attributable. to how many promiscuous females are in. the area no interesting it grows bigger. they got more more.
jiz they're just around some dick that. sucks I got huge balls that means my. sisters were that's chimpanzees Hitler. himself believed to have two forms of. what happened what is it penile. condition two forms of genital uh. abnormality an undescended testicle and. a rare condition called penile hypos is. crazy dudus which the urethra opens up. and the underside of the penis oh he had. a he could come out of his ball sack no. this is wow.
what what my least favorite thing he he. sucked his own dick while he nutted and. it [ __ ] on himself you have to [ __ ] on. for him to get. hard us he [ __ ] in his mouth while he. sucking his own wow what a weirdo weird. dick Harvey weird dick I'm seeing a. pattern here of really brilliant. men y you're a. Columbo the worst thing though for real. it's like Hitler Hitler was bad enough. dude we don't have to make up lies dick.
later yeah let's keep making up lies I. like it here's something like [ __ ]. [ __ ] I like that he killed that. [ __ ] mustache yeah he killed that. thing killed Adolf the name adol no. Adolf is still around is still around is. still around yeah there's a lot of like. white power third worst thing he's ever. done some ad offs are out there some are. there yeah pretty funny [ __ ] name but. that mustache is a rap that's a rap for. that stash you're pretty close and the.
other guy Charlie had the best chance of. keeping a going I know Char ad off was. tooo strong yeah but people forgot about. Charlie because of the mustache I think. 2010 article New Jersey loose couple. loses custody of son named Adolf Hitler. but they named him the whole thing. article by Barbara. Goldberg Barbara of course Goldberg has. a problem with this Joselyn ARA Nation. Campbell she she might have a really.
good point oh these these people are. wild these people the thing the thing. you imagine like no one's really like. that that's actually these people those. are real obviously they're obviously not. smart also test positive for meth right. now if you could if they're not in jail. you could grab them [ __ ] get a sample. 100% they're methed out their kids are. rooms decorated with posters with no. frames people oh I'm not wrong what. unusual decorative features including.
skulls and. knives wow wow Jesus Christ children. were strapped to their booster seats for. unusually long periods of time amid. ongoing domestic. violence you stay in here for a minute. me and my dad got a beat on each other. for a little bit. get. Hitler don't forget our son hit that's. the real problem with calling everybody. you disagree with a Nazi yeah cuz. there's [ __ ] real about those aren't. real Nazis those are just those are for.
real genuinely they're lers [ __ ] no. they're [ __ ] people but they might. follow it seems they pretty [ __ ]. committed to it they naming their kids. after it you can't just assume without. knowing them that they're not like. homicidal [ __ ] man too smart Nazi. wouldn't name their kid hey we're Nazis. I'm not saying they're smart but they. might be real they're I think they. they're never going but they lost their. kid the government was instantly.
everybody in the community was like uh. no yeah you're obviously a bad parent if. you're even trying that right. Welling the kids to the booster seats. while they beat the. [ __ ] that like that's a bigger problem. than the words yeah and they didn't take. the. booster yeah they've got mental. disabilities how come everyone's at. trans is mentally problematic but like. Nazis are like no they've made a. decision yeah but who supports that who.
says Nazis made a decision only [ __ ]. interesting point yeah nobody says that. interesting point Jewish man yeah nobody. says that those nobody's Pro Nazi those. are obviously not a Nazi just Kan you're. either a Nazi or you're anti-nazi. nobody's pro- naazi that's not for if. you're dude today with holding up a. swasa like on the side of a highway yeah. people pull just drive by and go that's. home get him in the special dude or some. some people will pull over and beat the.
[ __ ] out of you there you go but like. that's just the guy with Tourette's who. has the that's also a dumb guy yeah yeah. beat their. ass stupid they could be like really. like handicapped yeah that's what they. are that's what they are to do that same. Stolen Valor people it's all just like. homeless people I don't I found a a. green shirt well that's how they end the. the Salem Witch Trials how because uh. these two women just kept calling out. everybody like they witches they're. witches and eventually they were they're. witches and the people just kept walking.
the ruined everything even ruined the. Salem witch even the greatest moment of. our history that was pretty sick dude. you got to ignore it you imagine how. nice that' be to [ __ ] chick and be. like nah [ __ ] kill her yeah I don't. want her I don't want that secret. getting out burn that lady Jesus bur. that [ __ ] oh jeez that girl blew me so. well she's a. witch you know what the cause of that. stuff was right what yeah the [ __ ]. grain Urgot yeah what yeah there was. early froston there was an early Frost.
and sometimes when they have an early. Frost they'll they'll have high. concentrations of Urgot which is a. psychedelic chemical so these uh people. are essentially eating tainted grain. tainted beers all there stuff at Urgot. poisoning and Urgot poisoning can kill. you but it can also make you trip trip. balls so like it's very similar. apparently to like LSD so these people. were like drinking beer and and eating. bread [ __ ] up taking some soup and. then your wife flies out the window wow.
and you don't know what's going on you. think witches are real I love it can we. replace stain stoned ape theory that. we've heard for 20 years with this new. [ __ ] this is the same it's the same. exact thing it's real similar because. this is like you know when I I was in. Greece recently I told you about this. right went to uh a couple different. places uh we went to uh necropolis yeah. and the the side of the ucini Mysteries. that was the wildest one that's where. they were doing these psychedelics and. this is what Brian M rescue's book uh.
the immortality key about so we go to. this place where they invented democracy. they invented everything and they did it. mostely while they were tripping balls. very funny to admit or invent democracy. be like look maybe everybody in this. room should decide what we do maybe we. can have a [ __ ] system no way where. everyone gets an equal sex what if. there's five of us here. one fifth well how does that exist. without yeah we have Ching balls like. wait but I own land like I know I know I. know like but yeah I could kick you guys.
we're like all right know that's how it. was done forever until these guys. started tripping balls and no one who's. not tripping balls is going to come up. with a system like that and that's our. number one problem with politicians. today is no one trips balls no one trips. none of these people are triers trips. none of these people are Trippers so. none of these people have this. idea it's more like a stumble a. face yeah you know be funny if Joe you. should get every presidential candidate. in here and trip [ __ ] balls oh that.
would be big lock the doors who do who. would you like to get um do mushrooms. mushrooms with the most well Trump would. be I don't want to watch anybody no yeah. but you going to do mushrooms like do a. breakthrough dose a giant dose with one. president oh [ __ ] who would it be. Lincoln Lincoln yeah but alive like. someone who like exists right now like. you could actually make it happen I'd. like to talk to Bill about what he did. yeah bill would be good bill would be.
cool demons. living with him Bill might be cool he. might hit you with some knowledge I. would do Obama cuz I think W you'd cry. yeah both of you C W would break down. and go W would start thinking about the. war he would he would see the bodies. 100% if you tripped they would be. marching to a Pink Floyd song We Don't. Need No. Education mushrooms will will take you. out if you've got some secret like that. in the back of your head mushroom like.
you you are just trying to paint [ __ ]. pictures of a dog and Meanwhile your. Administration was responsible for how. many unnecessary deaths how many what's. the number get you know haunting that. [ __ ] must be just been with the Rangers. if you Obama and you go like hey man so. when you had this like plan going in and. then like what you did going out do that. like bug you at all and are you gay but. yeah he'd be like yeah man yeah I had to. shut up a lot of [ __ ] I think they say I.
don't think he was that good of a guy. that's part of being president he was in. on it from day one brother he was like. I'll do whatever hated gay drone strikes. let's go I think he's a very smart guy. and I think the only way to be. successful as a president is you have to. run that game the way everybody runs. that. who dies at overseas you try bucking the. trend you get the Trump treatment so you. get that old Trump treatment it's all so. crooked for sure that's part of the the. beauty of this all yeah you know what. you say about my president dude Bob.
Dylan's thinking about the same [ __ ]. that's happening now oh I blocked that. there like there's crooked and then. there's like legal crooked right. exactly but they're like we can't they's. didn't crimit a crime we can't can't. prute there's a lot of legal crooked. we're all aware like Congress [ __ ]. insider trading yeah it's legal crooked. you can't charge him for it because it's. not illegal but Jesus Christ's. controlling whether it's illegal and. it's like oh they're also buying stock. when they know that they're going to.
pass decisions so crazy this why I don't. get why anybody votes it's a [ __ ]. crooked system you're entering into they. they put why even bother unless are are. two evils I guess it's all people. they're giving you they're both [ __ ] I. it's like just do you live their life. I don't want Trump to win just cuz I I. don't want to talk about Trump for the. next four years he likes Biden better. cuz like I don't have to talk about it. as much yeah I don't want to talk about. politics that's a good point yeah bro. they put Martha Stewart in jail for what.
what did she. do but what did she do it was like she. knew about something and she goes I'm. investing anyway what I said. when money after you signed your Spotify. deal on every podcast was like yeah he. told me he was going to sign it so I. invested D like most of my money in it. people. like like if you think I even know who. to call to invest you're crazy that's. hilarious but that's what's great about. America Obama two terms he has a Spotify. podcast canell would be ins hey this is.
a good question would have been insider. trading if I bought Spotify stock of. course really Pete Rose [ __ ] cuz you. have an idea why it would yeah for sure. seems. cocky uh one of the founders of the. company Dr Samuel wa was arrested for. advising friends and family members to. sell the stock oh the other way before. the FDA made the announcement and the. stock price dropped in price yeah but. wait hold on why would it be weird for. you or illegal for you to say oh I'm. about to join this company yeah let me.
buy a bunch I myself it's not it's not a. guarantee the stock will go up that's. just an inside or knowledge right it. could have gone down yeah you could have. been like [ __ ] that dude I'm not using. it's obvious from retrospect but at the. time there was no like guarantee that. would go up no and you know true and no. one expected it to did do better than it. did on the other platforms people were. like hey that's a bad idea a lot of. people like this is a bad idea it end up. being way better but like it wasn't like. a guaranteed thing so why would it be.
illegal for you to go I'm going to. invest a bunch of my money in this. company bet super slippery I did I bet. it but I bet it's super slippery yeah. well I made over 7.2 million investing. in. that clean up appreciate it I stay away. from all that stuff I when people ask me. to invest in things I'm like uhuh I. don't have you don't even have to do. anything like oh but I do because then. I'd have to think about it think about. it just deal with it just deal with I'm. not interested in thinking about. anything other than the things I enjoy I.
just want I don't want I don't like any. sort of structure like that where you're. just constantly thinking. about crypto seems like a lot of during. investigations of I'm clone authorities. discovered that Martha Stewart had sold. 4,000 shares of IM IM clone mclone stock. she owned the day before the FDA. decision was announced avoiding a loss. of around 45 Grand why don't you just. charge her 45 Grand you [ __ ] cuns why. you got to put her in jail you [ __ ]. [ __ ] and meanwhile how much money.
did [ __ ] Congress make insider. trading and you put poor all Martha. Stewart away for 45 Grand we talk double. standards bro we're talking Insider. trade we're talking crooked legal [ __ ]. we're done for she went to jail but now. she's back and doing pay 195,000 as a. penalty wow for 45 Grand what a badass. she took it like a man just went and did. her time 45 Grand but really if it's. only 45 Grand you're really supposed to.
just take that hit on the stock market. there's some weird [ __ ] like that yeah. like 45 Grand to Marthur SC that's a. wealthy lady I'm sure she doesn't give a. [ __ ] about the 45 her she's fine so. maybe was it her it had to be her call. yeah well this is why somebody went with. a hammer at a Pelosi's house. true no no no that guy was just a crack. that dude's insane guy did you ever. watch the video I did it was wild it's. pretty scary very scary ballp Hammer I.
thought it was a I thought it was a gay. hooker at first so did I cuz Paul's gay. but Paul well that's the [ __ ] 4chan. influence Paul held his own pretty he. was like no everything's good but he. kept his drink that's where he [ __ ] up. you got to go two hands on the hammer. when you sense resist two hands the. hammer but that's a real alcoholic he no. he was just trying to like hey. everything's good don't nobody spaz. everybody relax that guy's eyes looked. crazyy Hammer that guy looked crazy you.
got to go two hands on the hammer if. that guy hits you in the head with a. hammer Paul's got no shot there he's old. as [ __ ] yeah but that guy wasn't in any. good shape either it was a tactical. mistake but he was straight two hands on. the hammer if even if it's someone was. weaker than you like look at that big. dog look at that guy he's just struggle. with him immediately the cops jump in. and separate it just like grab it with. cop the cops were like yo what the [ __ ]. what his other hand on a drink cocktail. Dam that guy [ __ ] rules imagine being.
lit out of your [ __ ] mind just enjoy. a Netflix show you know what I'm going. to have a pone tonight what a nut and. dude he was snoring hard when he got hit. oh yeah he's gone how many you guys have. seen you guys seen people get knocked. out and snore it's a weird it's a weird. sound. SC see it from a guy that old is really. scary cuz that's an old man that got hit. in the head with a [ __ ] Hammer never. be the same he'll never be I mean I. haven't seen him since I don't know I. mean maybe he's okay I saw my mom get.
knocked out like that Jesus what Jesus. she was snoring and I was like oh [ __ ]. she's dead what happened she fell down. the steps holy [ __ ] drinking God she had. a couple. cocktails God Thanksgiving will get you. have you seen people fall in face plant. on Instagram she dud from the top of the. steps fell there's a wall at the foot of. the steps and her head hit the wall oh. my God you pushed her thank you leader. no no and uh she was eating some Oreos.
and drinking some red wine it'll do it. so her mouth her mouth was purple and me. and my sister were there and my sister. looked at me and was like you got to. give her mouth to mouth and I was. like you got to give her mouth there was. just a one moment where I like looked at. her mouth and she was like it's a lot of. Oreo CRS I was like for real somebody. else is doing that Jesus chist I was. like my mother's life I thought for real. I thought she was dying and I was still. like no what no chance I'm doing that.
wow I'll tell you speaking of night I. made a lot of money on Ali yeah hell. yeah what the [ __ ] does that have to do. with my mom Jesus Christ what what does. that have to do with. his mom I feel weird making fun of her. no it's funny she's all right okay she's. cool now she's good. be mad about me saying this on this. podcast dude fun night we had a fun. night yeah oh you want know the funniest. part so when you get we called an. ambulance yeah CU we like oh [ __ ] mom's.
dead I was the only one keeping my. composure my dad was upstairs he didn't. see it so my sister was like Mom's dead. and he was like what no what it was kind. of sad to hear my father like that horse. you know what I mean that. like and uh he called an ambulance. ambulance came and she was she had. already woken up by then and everyone. was like surrounding her like you're all. right and she was like yeah I'm fine my. [ __ ] hand hurts though her hand was. shattered in the fall it was like she's. like I'm just really embarrassed you.
guys are here but my hand. hurts even the EMD was like Jesus Christ. that's her Oreo eaten hand yeah yeah she. was going for an Oreo and fell down the. she got that Oreo though she did get. that Oreo hell yeah shout out Barb yep. did you guys see Rose nunes's broken. finger from her last fight no you see. that guy's leg [ __ ] go yeah I did see. that guy's leg go two different guys J. One Russian guy and one other guy his. UFC his uh MMA debut wow deut it's a.
freak accident freak accident his leg. his leg got destroyed got destroyed yeah. it just fell backwards oh I can't watch. this show me the plan it's horrible I. want to watch it it was worse than still. it was wor his leg exploded no don't. show it Jamie oh godamn it come on Jamie. this is rude Jamie show him the. Louisville basketball players fem. the it went under him and it just blew a.
it blew apart hey you know what nobody. everybody sleeps on now Joe thyman the. original of. this other out that's right that's right. that the original one of these yeah he's. he's this. oh th this the first real leg break in. the wrong. place Lawrence Taylor shout out fle. flicker action no no you got to show the. closeup they ran a Flea Flicker that's. funny that's Lawrence Taylor called in.
[ __ ] an. airlift oh here we go. oh shout out Jamie Freeze. Frame. God that's. you know it's funny that wasn't you. didn't pronounce his name like Theisman. they changed it at no a so he could win. the Heisman yeah he was thean yeah Joe. oh my God that's so and he didn't win. the he he didn't win it broke his. [ __ ].
leg so did he come back from that and. how long did it take no he was done for. it did he come back at all no he was. just like he walks now what's that. famous no UFC fighter other than. Anderson Silva's had multiple fights. with like having that surgery. and been successful and Anderson wasn't. really how was W one fight right we. don't know you don't know until he. fights like Chris Weidman there was a. lot of Hope for Chris Weidman but he he. looked like he was having troubles you.
know it's it's hard to say it's hard to. say how much was bradz who's a bad. [ __ ] damn H 85 thyman suffered. th compound fracture of the tibian and. the fibble in his right leg when he was. sacked by. line career ending injury so that's it. that was it ouch yeah he doing now shout. out. wtm I think it's it's a real hard one to. break and come back from Tyrone Spong. broke it in a kickboxing match against. Goan saki it's another rough one I bet. you still sort of feel it every time you.
plant you're joking right. sh okay that's a great one I'm. saying he kicks him right yeah he kicks. him and his leg snapped in half that's a. famous one and he's come back and he's. done some boxing but and I think he did. one MMA fight but I I I don't know how. many kicks he threw he got taken down a. bunch there's also an NBA one that's. pretty. wild it's like it's just I think that. leg bone down there is just real.
vulnerable man and when they they put it. back together again I I don't think it's. ever quite the same here we go oh no. don't make me [ __ ] keep seeing. these how does that happen where right. oh J the worst one dude did he ever come. back I can't do it he did come back he. did come back he came back oh nobody. even hit him oh my God he just fell back. what a [ __ ] loser just want to lay. down for the rest so crazy like how. weird your your body's so vulnerable. basic like no chance block noral [ __ ].
he's probably done that 100,000 times. yeah no don't keep doing this Jamie jie. jie that's enough Jamie have respect. Humanity oh my god dude over over wow. what I cracked my little one not the. tibia but the fibula I cracked that one. once. I got kicked I got kicked with a heel. that like dug right into that thing and. I had a hairline fracture of it it. lasted for a while and I I fought in a. tournament with it I put uh soccer pads. on it those hard soccer pads I put those.
over and taped it on yikes I was at the. first Anderson one it didn't make sense. it was it was horrible the Anderson when. he he wraps around like a wet sock like. that and you're like what the crazy. thing is Anderson did that like it. happened to Anderson two Chris on Chris. Weidman and then Chris Weidman did it. onah Hall like two it's such a rare. injury and for one guy to be involved in. two in his whole career it's kind of. nuts it's kind of like nuts the. Lincoln yeah JFK shot Lincoln but.
Lincoln was shot at Kennedy Theater hold. on for. theater drove a [ __ ] drove a Ford. Ford [ __ ] Lincoln who killed yep I. thought if anybody was going to have a. real good shot at coming back it was. going to be Weidman cuz it was like cuz. he's such an animal just such an animal. if anybody figures it out it might be. widman it wasn't his speed also it was.
just like is [ __ ] good keep it going. put your headphones on oh yeah you're. going want headphones for. that they had a they had an assistant. named Kennedy an assistant named Lincoln. there's all types of but he was in a. Lincoln when he got shot hold on. they're not all accurate oh some of it's. [ __ ] ah [ __ ] of course it is damn it. back before the internet but the CIA. didn't kill Lincoln CU he wouldn't go to. Vietnam hey what's the greatest [ __ ].
story what's the greatest [ __ ] story. before intern oo probably. the that one's amazing his name Rod. Stewart with the uh pacum bonjovi no. that one wasn't all the same person I. like that one but I heard B stomach. pumps Yeah Lil K that cuz there was too. much C everyone knew Richard gar in the. Geral he must hate that he must get that. all day long [ __ ] he's like how did they. find out I'm so glad people are still. talking about me Fame is Fame I was the.
number one yeah why don't you go [ __ ] a. what's the um what's the primary what's. the primary source of that cuz I had. heard that like funniest kid in Middle. used to be did he used to be a. Scientologist yeah and when he went out. like we'll expose you that's one theory. that but was that real is that like one. in Scientology you got to reveal all. your dark [ __ ] we know that but was. Richard Gear Scientologist yeah but even. then he did the Buddhist and then he did. the Buddhist movie and and and he became. a Buddhist and right after that it came. out so that's what they're saying.
interesting so wait do you think he. actually shoved a ger up his yes what. AR's taking this to a whole new level. according to that theory he's like let. me tell you everything I've done I. thought they made it up to smear him no. no no exposing is real [ __ ] oh it'd be. like if you were like I actually did get. the vaccine imag can you imagine if that. that's nothing can you imagine if that's. what got the vaccine Jo got the vaccine. dude take the vaccine get boosters get. boosters get boosters yeah shout out to. CIA dude they're giving me 50 [ __ ].
thousand you're not getting vac it's. literally like holding a loaded gun to. someone's head it really is and you get. a free Shake Shack from deasio if you. get a booster yo what's up what's. up but yeah that was the first viral. before viral yeah Marilyn Manson's ribs. so was he definitely um a Scientologist. Jamie Richard Gear what do they got on. [ __ ] Tom Cruz then he's a. Scientologist running that show over. what does he have on them yeah he's.
running that show over there shut it. down he could shut it down he's probably. the number one reason why new people. walk through the door that's true I want. to be that [ __ ] guy from Mission. Impossible he looks great I want to wear. braces when I'm 50 let's go. so many my friends love Tom. Cruz I just don't have I don't have the. love for him like go watch Interview. with the Vampire no I understand there's. greatness before Tropic Thunder come on. TR Thunder is hilarious he's amazing. first try a comedy and nailed it nailed.
it the dance everything bro he's [ __ ]. great I'm not saying he's not great I'm. not saying he's not great I'm saying. he's slightly over I think if he was a. Catholic you'd [ __ ] love him I mean. obviously but then he'd be Dan D Lewis. so what does it say Richard Gear is one. of the most outspoken religious. celebrities and religious choices. Buddhism gear was raised in a Methodist. home and studied philosophy in his short. live college stin but it seems religion. is always interested him but it became. en raptured with Buddhism on a trip in. the Paul in the late 70s okay so he was.
never in Scientology no you got to look. up Scientology and Richard Gear Dam it. sucks you get so. H Bo I did first a list comes up that. says there was people that quit and then. he wasn't on the list okay so you it. says he never officially converted okay. so officially. hold on hold on that was not him that's. just the type he was [ __ ] Cindy. Crawford too wow he fbody dude Wasing he. [ __ ] Madonna didn't he [ __ ] Madonna. Tracy he also [ __ ] a Geral but if.
he's I mean the ger [ __ ] theal dud and I. me that guy rules but if he like dabbled. in Scientology and then left that might. have been enough they they already had a. they already had them day one they got. you as soon as you do the [ __ ]. clearance test cuz a lot of people dab I. think. he did that's how Richard G. hamsters they get to live did you talk. to Seinfeld about it no what about what. he dabbled in Scientology for a while. way yeah he tried it you know what it is. like I I was watching an infom mercial.
in like. 1994 and they had that dianic book I. didn't even know that was. Scientology hero how to [ __ ] improve. your life Gateway so I order it and bro. they never stop sending me [ __ ]. they were sending me [ __ ] I didn't even. read it I. bought went out and played pool you're. Tom. Cruz yeah um they just had you they're. like well if you show her get they just.
kept sending me [ __ ] man every time I'd. get the mail it'd be like more [ __ ] from. Scientology more invitations to. conferences this is the same why I am. with your dumb [ __ ] ior Mecum. recommendation I old story they don't. stop calling you Stallone's Stallone did. it supposedly that's what Richard Gear. thought for a while thinks that Richard. Gear still mad at him for starting that. whole gerbal in that well you know story. my has denied it though but that's what. as far as like some resarch how Doone. started it says gear believes that Sal. started the ridiculous urban legend.
about gear uh and the Geral here's the. deal gear and Stallone were on the set. of the 1974 Lords Lords of the flat Bush. and the two actors got into a tiff over. lunch one day something about chicken. grease Sly thigh and a hot dog whereupon. Stallone embowed him elbowed oh elbowed. him and the side of the owed far. different far different elbowed him on. the side of the head the tension between. the two actors became so fevered that. gear got kicked off the film which still. angers him today apparently to this day.
he seriously dislikes me says Sly who. adds for the record that it did not. start the rodent rumor hey you know he. shoved a [ __ ] dble up his but say for. the record I didn't startop that rumor. Gars rep had no com sure started that. rumor for sure 100% he started that. rumor I didn't start it right how strong. was that rumor it was the strongest one. that rumor made it to me in Boston and. made it to Eddie Bravo in La dude only. Sly could have done this yeah it has to. be you have to have a.
high God how do we all get it it was. true it had to be true met have that. theory if they started Ru about you that. you're gay it wouldn't catch on same. thing with you wouldn't catch on would. catch on with but if it's always like oh. it caught on it's like cuz that's a gay. guy that's why it catches on. if it's like oh this guy did this like. doesn't catch on this guy oh that one it. sticks to I gota be honest with you guys. me and Jamie kissed at the mothership. last night nice didn't see I made out. with him at. M I grabbed him by the back of his. [ __ ] hair and we kissed the Richard.
Gear caught on cuz it's true you're. being nasty I don't think it caught on. cuz it's true I think it caught on cuz. Sly made it up. is made imagine better than rocky how. you would feel assassin knowing that the. body of your enemy really did fly by in. the water. mhm wow he really did get him got him. with that one I wonder what they argu. who did he tell how did he get. lence how did he get that out started it. was it a [ __ ] foreign policy. conversation for real though if that.
argument was just them in a fight and. then Sly went around telling everybody. that he shoved the gerbal up his ass. yeah that's genius yeah that is that's. like actually that's so smart that I. don't think Sylvester out of nowhere. stup he wrote obviously. smart but he did gay porn before that or. porn true he did porn not gay por no. offense no offense Rocky no offense he. did like softcore it was like soft core. Yi also National inquire gossip colonist. said he never worked harder in his life. trying to confirm that.
story nothing more than an urban legend. referring to not only the r gear story. but gerbling as a. [Laughter]. whole Falcon. there is no there is no. gerbling oh my God RFK junor is a. falconist really yeah is he really pull. it up J I don't love that how cool is. falcony oh wait well the bir as cool as.
Gering there's a lawyer that next parag. goes on there's a lawyer that insists. it's real oh of course it's real while. it's colloquially called gerbling the. actual name for it from a medical mental. health point of view is formi. which involves not just Geral but other. kinds of small Critters as well this is. a form of beastiality which essentially. deals with things crawled on you or in. you started this I saw a video of a. snake being pulled out of someone's body. and I wow squids squid dude this is.
better than any [ __ ] Eric wiin. podcast if you were a girl if you were a. girl wouldn't you want a snake inside of. you trying to get out trying to get out. you're like you're not good no. [ __ ] no dick moves that many. ways this what you just tape that little. mouth up so it's not eating your insides. out just [ __ ] solid secure it and up. there it's called snaking let's.
go gerbling is if I was a woman [ __ ]. yeah combat boots in a [ __ ] cage full. of snakes you a woman you'd be a menace. LIF side supply of duct tape just. [ __ ] duct tape their little faces up. shut your [ __ ] mouth mama's going to. get you a rabbit oh yeah just give you a. rabbit after this I'm going to be like a. 90-year-old grizzled old lady with a. [ __ ] house full of snakes be a. trailer [ __ ] jelly black mamba jeez.
you'd be in a trailer [ __ ] snakes if. you were a lady what animal would you. [ __ ] you could [ __ ] any animal oh man no. doubt Shin Pony oh good one good one. they kick though you got to watch out. Jamie toss up sh bony tell me you guys. try to [ __ ] this [ __ ] a mermaid [ __ ]. mermaid that's animal that's animal you. kind like more animal. than hot [ __ ] lady you're not trying. to [ __ ] that that's cute looks like. Nikki glaz I would just hold it hand. walk it home you're not trying to [ __ ]. that thing no it's too sweet too sweet.
looking at you please give it to me oh. cutie beautiful hair dude that's what. did we do to a [ __ ] Majestic we're so. gross we took a wolf and turn into a. Chihuahua you know horses were small. they used to be really donkey like how. small medieval time they were like. closer to ponies look at that riding ble. they were riding sh ponies I'm going. sheep all day whoa she's got some giant. balls I've seen U mountain goats with. giant balls Steve Rella pointed out to. me they're like church bells really.
giant balls by the way I was just. [ __ ] around about [ __ ] those. horses you know what's crazy about. horses i' [ __ ] a brown bear all horses. came from North America but then they. all got wiped out but they had already. taken them to other countries so all the. horses like yeah they all started out in. America America went back to other after. 1492 and then they got reintroduced by. the Europeans that's not true it is true. repeat it repeat it yes horses evolved. the species of horse evolved in North.
America the saying [ __ ] that's wrong. he's talking and he's incorrect and they. were ex they they died they they went. extinct in North America they them the. bearing stra Asia on boats they got. something about 1492 so horses in a lot. of places where they were using horses. horses didn't come from there they. literally came from North America. originally after tens of thousands of. years we're talking about so what does a. horse come from after col no stupid. [ __ ] not after Columbus came no well.
before tens of thousands of years but. then they came back after Columbus back. post colia the earliest recognized. ancest of the horses here G uh IO pipa s. [ __ ] what whatever that word is. angens known as the dawn horse a small. North American animal amount the size of. a fox which lives in forests and ate. fruits shoots and leaves around 55. million years ago how cute is that yeah. over the following tens of millions of.
years horse ancestors uh grew in size. his grasslands expanded around 20. million years ago so they think that. they a lot of them died off uh you know. like I think around the same time as. like what was the year that they died. off in in North America around 10,000. years ago they think it was was a part. of the whole younger D impact and all. the the the idea that most of North. America's Wildlife like 65% of it got. wiped out around 11,000 years agoing. saber-tooth tigers all these Willie. mammoths everything got wiped out why.
firsty we got hit by comets and they. think that that's a myth 11,000 years. ago yeah 11,800 that's what they think. it's it's called the younger dri impact. that's the Graham Hancock Randle Carlson. [ __ ] the end of. just on the Western Hemisphere no it was. all over the world survived other places. yeah they survived in some places it. depends on how bad they got hit you know. North America comprehending any of this. North America got North America got. pounded and so did other parts of the.
world got pounded we killed the Buffalo. they think it [ __ ] knock still here. is it think I thought we extinct San. Francisco Park no Buffalo are still real. we still have bual buffal I thought we. got rid of them all they were just on. the field against DCU yeah Buffalo Bill. that's what bison is dude when you buy. bison buy Buffalo yes what's the. difference between a bison and a buff no. difference same word male female no no. it's the same animal you I don't know I. think they're different bison and. buffalo are the exact same they got to. be different no it's definitely the same.
same exact thing I've eat bison meat. buffalo wing that's buffalo wing what. the [ __ ] dude you went that far for that. joke no I just popped in he's looking. for a Lifeline the whole way. [ __ ] I had one earlier I. forgot yeah they had [ __ ] North. American cheetahs there was North. American Lions there was Lions living in. North America I believe it according to. who dude according to uh the study lion.
bone anybody that's like hey anybody. that's like hey 55 M million years ago I. go dude shut the [ __ ] up I don't know. what happened yesterday I went on Safari. and those elephants with the we saw. Lions we saw cheetah we saw leopards the. elephants were the scariest cuz they'. come right at the they're smart they're. smart as [ __ ] and they hate you they can. just end you oh yeah at any time you can. see them just pushing up against a tree. Ro are coming up end you the Rhinos were. no joke either I watch an Ellen elephant.
absolutely [ __ ] Rhino really not. in real life but on the internet but. like literal butt [ __ ] no he just. murdered it in a oh really you think. they set those fights up I bet they do. right no Nature's metal it's always just. showing you [ __ ]. I'm not saying all of them but I know. they definitely did set some fights up. they used to set yeah they used to like. put like a bear and a tiger together. yeah and like let them both out and then. film it it's basically Roman it's like. bum fights you know about Ed shocking.
Jamie did we ever cover this before that. there was like some place that was taken. like a they took like a bear and a tiger. and they released him together to watch. him fight that's Russia or China. something either the way it rules either. the way it rules supposedly that's the. whole deal with all that like [ __ ]. Rhino tea is like super Elite people. like to be able to drink [ __ ] that's. like completely forbidden like they. don't even really believe it gives you. br they're just like no one's supposed. to have this I got some I've seen Tha I.
got Rhino son so this tiger is out how. do a tiger and a black bear wait we. should Place Forest Safari Lodge it says. let me see is that a nice sloth tiger. face off with a sloth bear oh sloth bear. this is India this is this is totally. reasonable I'm going bear this is crazy. so they put these animals together in a. cage oh no I've seen this sth bear holds. his own dude oh [ __ ] that's a mom. defending her cub oh wow sal sal bear. fights it off you can't [ __ ] with the. Cub defending salt bears are nasty dude.
I watch they Jack people who's that. behind it I've watch a video of a sloth. bear killing a guy it sucks pull it up. yeah no it's the wor you don't want to. see it watch that imagine if that was at. like look like [ __ ] too they're like. hair is all [ __ ] up like long and L. killed by an ugly mean just tears a guy. apart like would you feel better if you. were killed by a beautiful Grizzly it's. beautiful beautiful I mean a Grizzly. would at least [ __ ] yeah just go. quick Grizzly Man no they eat your ass. first just start eating you dude they. hold you down like a sand swipe you're.
out no you're not out they just hold you. down they eat your leg you down and tear. you apart well if he was holding me down. and tearing me apart I would be upset. about it I would imagine you. would knocked me out I'd be like sick. great the next the best part wouldn't. that be a great way to sell tickets just. bear vers Lion The Garden they literally. did that at the Coliseum I would go to. that we're getting close kids yeah we. are I used to say that when I was. hosting Fear Factor with we're about. four years away from the running man oh. yeah it's coming that's coming something.
like that's coming I think I've we might. have talked about it before but how sick. is it they used to oh Jesus Christ don't. don't that one they used to fill fill. the Coliseum look out he's going to. throw it again fill the Coliseum with. water they have crocodile fights. boats theum you could fill with water. and then they would have boat fights and. fill the water with crocodile gangster. did you have to be to catch a crocodile. back then with no guns bring it back and. bring it back.
guns casual fights you can't kill it you. can't tranquilize it either and people. were all tiny back then they're all. eating spaghetti. 51 [ __ ]. too probably how do you keep water in. that place they could apparently they. could they developed a system I've been. there yeah they developed a way to do it. it's like Engineers have actually. studied it and the floor lowers and. raises so that animals can come through. the floor yeah there like the really. sophisticated system that they had where. they had animals in cages for the games.
underneath and they would lift them up. through the floor and everybody would. cheer holy [ __ ] what crazy is the really. baller people would be in the [ __ ]. front row and they would get jacked by. the Tiger. raise the wall cuz people were getting. jacked it like it was like 10t up it's. like that's not good enough be like. going to UFC g match and then a guy. jumps out and starts whooping your ass. if it's like a MOS pit we're all holding. hands trying to keep for just hops out.
and knocks you out did you remember that. zoo in San Francisco where the kids were. throwing pine cones at the tiger and the. tiger jumped over a 14ot. fence they gave a reason they gave him a. reason like a Mexican these kids were. throwing pine cones at this [ __ ] time. and the tiger they they had a 14t high. fence they're like yeah good enough and. this [ __ ] jumped over the 14t. high fence J you imagine on video I'm. pretty sure good for that I don't think. that's on video Mark's asking me to pull. it up I don't oh no I don't think I.
think that was just a random day at the. zoo where some dudes got they got merked. damn pine cone that's a I mean obviously. a scary way to die oh yeah holy [ __ ]. would you know you provoked that [ __ ]. thing it was in there for years you how. scary that thing looked while it was. flying in the air angry knowing you're. the. cause you know he's going to make it. he's going to get down on the down slope. in of the up like a. [ __ ] that don't matter that's two.
pounces yeah you did have a bit about it. I remember you really yeah had a bit. about talking monkeys in space victims. taunted tiger for a killed Zoo visitor. yeah 18-year-old and 17-year-old two. kids wa his brother was 23 and was 17. they died in the tragedy Tatiana got. killed by a girl that Tiger's like yeah. whatever man I did it wow the three of. them got killed is that what it's saying. some other person holy [ __ ] could jumped. over that wall according to an affidavit. attend by the San Francisco Chronicle.
the trio stood on top of 3-ft railing. but had not thrown anything into the pen. to provoke the cat they were drunk the. men had also been smoking marijuana it. was a PO related toxology test showed. that W been twice the legal alcohol. limit for dver damn they got high and. drunk and [ __ ] with a tiger yeah they. taunted agitated by its eventual victims. uh police believe this factor. contributed to the tiger escaping from. mid enclosure and attacking the victims. God damn it man yeah damn just young. imagine that's your kid just some young.
dumb kid with his friends [ __ ] off. wonder the one 23y old loser and he's. probably starting it all it's probably. that Irish guy had marijuana systems. this probably isn't the best joke but. each had a couple shots of his name was. cool beard do never mind n life of pie. never mind we' probably cut that part. it's just funny his last his name his. parents were probably like watch out. Tigers will get you you ever see how far. those [ __ ] can jump there's a.
video of this guy elephant there's no. way no way come on you ever see the guy. on the elephant that gets jacked by the. time yeah that's best TR his whole hand. is a [ __ ] Jack yeah his whole hand. got just torn apart just shredded like. razor blades they had razor blades for. claws and they weigh you know 600 lb. flying through the air slashing that's. [ __ ] watch this video Bullit I love. no I love you're [ __ ] [ __ ] that. just sucks dude and you're on top of an. elephant like why don't you go after the.
elephant though no it doesn't no it's. looking for the person he knows that. person being an [ __ ] sh oh what a. dive I love the seeing the elephants in. the background like oh oh I like how. they're still filming cuz the the cats. know they're trying to kill them tall. grass dude there's a place called The. Slender bands where over the last 200. years hundreds of thousands of people. what a shot oh my God got his he got him. got him right in the. [ __ ] D almost almost bit his head oh.
that guy shredded bro hand your mom when. you fell down the stairs oh Jesus Christ. my head's all right but I'll tell you. what oh my God reach his arm out and. just ah dude fuer those things yeah good. with they were tiger hunting they were. [ __ ] trying to kill that guy they. yeah they're trying to hunt those things. down they do it all the time down there. on Safari they know they find the ones. that kill people some of them they. develop a taste for people oh good tast.
everyone was like America sucks go there. yeah you heard that old tale about the. uh the guy who would help an old man you. know he would go over to his house every. day feed him hang out with him a little. bit you know and then one day knocked on. the old man man's door no answer huh. I'll leave comes back the next day knock. no answer next day knock and eventually. he's like this is weird so he tries to. open the door the door won't open and. he's like what the hell so he gets his. shoulder in there and he's doing a. running start finally the door pushes.
open the old man was blocking the door. dead dogs ate him and now they had to. put the dogs. down dogs ate him dog cuz once a dog is. a taste of human flesh it's over ho. there hippo starting to climb out of the. the cage no no no no it doesn't attack. this just doesn't attack they're the. most deadly animals oh yeah I'm I'm. terrified this guy. slapping Nick. Diaz mask yeah yeah this guy is insane.
this guy is nuts he insane his only. weapon is a walkie talkie this guy is. insane and he's reaching for it look at. the mouth on that thing wow you better. get back in there wow that thing could. crush a moped you want to know something. wild about you want to know something. wild about MTH guess what they're. closest related to in the main family no. damn it what the whale I can see. that and wolves I was watching uh.
there's a hippo documentary on Amazon I. was watching oh yeah yeah they spray. [ __ ] at each other they're [ __ ]. terrible dude hippos suck they're so. scary I thought I thought they were fun. and funny they're not hung Hipp they'll. R you down we do that with every animal. that's terrifying yeah but they like. when they fight each other they spray. [ __ ] at each. other [ __ ] but they're Hungry Hungry. Hippos they are hungry [ __ ] polar bears. the cocaa whenever they're.
fighting hilarious that's a original ah. spit in somebody's face fertilizing it's. probably Nature's figured out a way. ground get them to spray their sh no but. they do it like face to face in water. there's really they're mors spraying it. with a tail polar bears are at least. cool they're cool they used to be brown. God look at that thing. oh damn it's going to be me tomorrow on. the flight home imagine bad night of. doing. blow die you come back you get to live.
as every organism on Earth hippo would. be nice that'd be a fun run. though around you in the pond all day. yeah even the crocodiles get the [ __ ]. out of the. hip leave them alone yeah they'll Jack. crocodile you go after them [ __ ] them up. they just break them in half all those. African safari things where they go down. the river and the hippo's like oh we're. going in the water chasing a boat it's. the. scariest they have no they're so fast. they have no mercy you can't believe how. fast they.
are coming out of like it's got a motor. in its [ __ ] it's using that [ __ ]. tail that tiny tail bro they're moving. so fast yeah you ever seen it how does. it go let me see let me see it well. they're smooth they're hair it's bizarre. how fast it how do they that fast all. they got is a butt I know man but. there's something at that [ __ ] guy. going to pick up speed too it's like. lizo a buffet if you were running away. from that that would be a problem if you. had to run away from that that's a. problem that's like a person running.
really fast Su ass dude holy [ __ ]. [ __ ] thing it's like Star Jones and. by the way it's not even getting tired. mouth isn't even. open show the hit boo chasing the boat. that's the one it's just hard to tell. he's so big God so watch they start. moving that's terrifying they're just. filming it it's [ __ ] coming after him. man look at it shoot that [ __ ]. yeah shoot it shoot it dead yeah kill. that who's. filming Monster look at that monster.
your iPhone is worthless in this fight. that's such a [ __ ] monster. wow what is this in a. Tampa where is he where is. he there he is. wow holy [ __ ] they're. quick got to pick up the motor no. there's actually does not look that fast. in that video might bead it stopped in.
that one the other there's some other. ones where they're actually chasing a. boat I think they take boats out every. now and then too definitely and then. Chomp Chomp Chomp they can move I mean. they're running for sure the water. they're like big pig in the. whales the other one's like you got it. you got it right cool W Africa. freak that's my screen. name this is one angry oh I hate these.
narrated videos whoa they can dive like. that they do the butterfly stroke that's. like a dolphin yeah they whso I guess so. do they have a blow hole no no they just. have nostrils. wow Jamie I've never felt more let down. dude how do you not find hippo chasing. boat wow he got. that I'm just [ __ ] J Mo 16 years old. give that guy another Eagle J I think. you found it there it is no there's a.
better one another one oh I like this. one they got cute ears that might be the. one bro I think they chase after we. talking Lake Chad the one that was. jumping up and down was the one that. freaked me out oh yeah I didn't know. they could do that cuz that's like. dolphin type mov exactly they can pick. up probably a lot of speed doing that oh. yeah yeah yikes you ever see swamp tours. or uh Swamp. People that's one look at that [ __ ]. thing. Jesus look at that [ __ ] thing man.
wow I thought we were done is that it no. Jamie you did great don't oh yes dude. play the [ __ ] Coastal Carolina Coach. J [ __ ] shot like a man Co Carolina. Coach what is that it's just might have. done it on here before it's my favorite. this guy he's like we got too many cats. on the team we need more. dogs we got guys looking in the mirror. like oh I look pretty I look pretty we. need more dogs trying to get our two. boys ready to carry them to golf. tournament for practice right 12 cats. live across the road our Do's open.
screen's broke we need to get a new. screen door but the screen's broke so. you come in through the screen but you. can't get back out of I turn and look. there's a little kitty cat in our in our. kitchen so I said what are you doing in. here little kitty cat by that time. cat turns tries to get back out that. screen won't go that way cat starts. going all crazy I told our players we. need more dogs B's barking in the back I. have to go shut B up kind of AIT what's. going on I said there a cat in house cat. in the house I said yeah there a cat in. the house so I told our players I tried.
to let it out the front door he's on the. verge of Hitler he's on coke for sure I. told our players you need to be more. like a. dog it's good to meet theon's Dad I look. good I got my extra hands on I got my. other shoes be a dog chant cleair Pride. we don't need no meow. chant we need more dogs we need more. dogs there you go he's not lying if he's. a football coach lying more cat people.
to get after it dogs that's true Deon. Sanders had a good speech he's a cat man. no he's recruiting cats Dion Sanders. Dion recruiting King his son's a [ __ ]. quarterback that can throw oh [ __ ]. he's what he's talking about is dogs. dogs do you seen Dwayne W he's talking. about no wristbands no swag. dogs Dwayne way son yeah cat that's a. big cat big that's a big cat.
yeah but anyway that's fun any who you. keep it warm in here 74 my hotel room. was at 74 that's the. temperature but it's hot as [ __ ] in here. dude I told you it was hot at the. beginning went up to 75 Is that real. that's uh Nation 711 to 68 all right 75. it's 105° outside you guys really it is. hot as [ __ ] outside that sucks dude I'm. moving here and that sucks that sucks. it's September it's already a weekend of. September official.
I'm have a great time here yeah listen. don't be a [ __ ] get in the sauna the. the heat is nothing get the I'm not. going to get hotter people get mad about. the the heat I'm like it's just hot it's. just hot. I shoot arrows out in the heat 3 hours a. day sometimes I hear you me and E went. to see the uh Pixies in the Coliseum. here Amphitheater you guys kissed. hottest day we did. kissx beside the story yeah we did kiss.
but that's not the story we kissed we. hard we hard we hard it was the hottest. city on earth here for two days hottest. did yeah they we got we kissed be hard. this was the hottest city on earth yeah. when two days in when the Pixies play. was Ariz how long ago is this June of. this year yeah no yep no Death Valley. gets way hotter City oh that's not a. city don't point at him and look away. like that dude that's so disrespectful. and rude it wasn't that Phoenix is hot. Phoenix oh the hottest in this in this.
in the country that day in the world in. the world in the world more than. in it was 112 that day city was hotter I. know. right it was 112 something like that it. it became below 100 at like 9:45 p.m. this is when I go into my climate change. is not real R oh [ __ ] why it seems like. the. opposite the CH is real yeah I I don't. know I I'm I'm interested I'm interested.
in both sides turns out science can be. wrong a little bit sometimes yeah seen a. uh but that's all right you know what. someone scared me though they said that. the the real scary thing is global. cooling what global warming is scary but. global cooling. that's when everybody dies what do you. mean Global is kill you Ice Age like a. real ice age it's way scarier than. everything getting hot wait but is that. what's happening now Mitch Connell keeps. freezing listen it's all dependent upon. who you talk to cuz like at some point. in Earth's history there were no. polarized caps but now there is and now.
there's you know Green land no polarized. lenses we got them things change you. know the [ __ ] shifts yeah man that's the. thing about the whole climate thing just. like it's never steady it's never like. the climate's always going to be this. it's like gender it's fluid it's fluid. yeah right right right it's like never. in the history of the Earth been steady. it's always done this if you look at. charts and graphs the question is like. how much are people influencing it but. the real problem I think it's pretty. clear right it's pretty clear humans are.
definitely China and. India also it's Greener now than it's. ever been before what do you mean. Greener that's true CU it's warmer do. mean it's warmer there's more green oh. it's interesting more jungle more that's. like a kind of like a don't get involved. you I got one for you know there's more. trees the thing I heard was there's more. trees in Canada than there are stars in. the galaxy no incorrect incorrect why do. you think it's incorrect because it's in. infinite in the. galaxy galaxy not the Universe I don't.
know the difference well the the. difference is 200 billion Dum guy of all. time yeah and Canada doesn't even have. the most Canada's not Canada has 200. billion. trees the whole world I mean the whole. existence what's that called on say. again Jamie 318 billion trees 318. billion trees in Canada well nobody. lives up north there's over. 6 I'm go ahead and say nobody actually. counted those you hear what he said 650. billion in Russia man Russia has the.
bigger number most uh most Bears Russia. wow a lot of land mass out there 318. billion trees and wor about Brazil we. need those trees trees cover 40% of the. country they're all. Canada's forests account for 30% of the. world's Forest wow wow I didn't know the. Canucks had the trees 30% of the world. for in Canada that's insane Canada's. huge dude Canada is. gigantic people in California than.
Canada yeah in the whole country. many most of it's unlivable unbelivable. yeah it's freezing the tundra don't be a. [ __ ] yeah go up there dude go go on go. if you care so much good show you won't. Joe you should go on alone Russia look. at that Tre. million I have no interest in being. alone 650 billion trees in Russia Russ. Jesus Christ 641 billion 6 brail got.
hella what's that country in the middle. of Africa they got a lot what is that. one down there Congo. con that's where black panthers from uh. good. dance that's K oh 318 what's that island. is Canada off off off Alaska what island. off Alaska what does the Amazon have. Jamie what's in the Amazon R 300 million. 300 million oh they're close they're. coming up Russia is bigger Russia has. more trees than the Amazon how bigger. sou America com have you guys ever seen.
that documentary Happy People life in. the tigga nope oh my God it's a [ __ ]. amazing wner Herzog documentary about. people live in Siberia I will not show. you the tipe of him getting killed yeah. he didn't have recording what yeah you. only have the recording oh my God this. is horrible destroy this destroy this no. one should see this the greatest that's. selfish unintentional comedy in the. history of the world Grizzly. Man unintentional comedy of all time hey.
just hug wild bears your life will be. great oh sing in I see the mistake that. guy was gay right so gay seems likees. Bears well he was saying he wasn't so. he's walking around with a camera going. I'm not K if I was K it would be so easy. guy but I'm not gay like that's not. something not gay people there's a fox. that steals his hat it's a very very. funny momentz he goes from like this is. cute and then he gets really mad like he. Shadow that's my hat just a gay guy.
screaming at a fox mdle stole his hat. and took it into his den and he can't. get it yes that's a good Fox but it's. funny that the fox became like his. friend like legitimately like a dog man. cute there it is dude what you doing to. that hat it's his Pirates hat he's like. that's M [ __ ] shout out the. Pirates Pirate see that fox has no idea. like what possession is like this is his. now so he doesn't think that's his hat.
that's my hat [ __ ] I just found. it like so when this dude what's trying. to take it back hey who's stealing that. hat hey who's stealing that damn hat. what man get so. upset okay you doing with that hat what. you doing that hat okay that hat is a. important. hat now he's serious oh godamn.
it ghost that's it where's that [ __ ]. hat freaking valuable for this trip GH. you come back here with that freaking. hat you gave it to a wild dog dude yeah. exp where's that hat what's it's not you. to steal it. n. man man oh God South Parky and you think. this is the worst part of your trip that.
dude is never getting that oh it's going. to get bad get ready brother although. maybe he wasn't gay didn't he have a. babe with him when he got [ __ ]. munched and she was probably super. confused he was calling him babes and he. was like yo check this [ __ ] out yeah he. had a with him while and she got killed. too she got killed she got out she got. killed too she was apparently on video. or you know the the lens cap was on it. but it was running and she was. apparently like hitting the bear with. like a frying. pan you understand like they're so big.
that's nothing these are enormous Bears. it's like a cartoon I mean she and they. killed apparently the video is the audio. rather is really long I've heard I've. heard one but I many many minutes long. yeah there's there's a fake audio that's. out there but the real one is apparently. pretty long have you ever had no I. haven't I would though I love that guy. this is what this is the lady's playing. it for him this is her ex his. ex-girlfriend playing it for him okay he. doesn't. say that's her that's his ex-girlfriend.
so this is a different exgirlfriend not. the one who got killed is this real. Jamie yeah this is this is in the. documentary so she's she's playing it. for him and I don't even know if she had. ever listened to it I don't remember. just a taste no they don't they're not. going. to okay yeah but it's. uh you know that's heavy it's a heavy. movie but it's also hilarious it's so. funny at the same time it's very funny. it's just so crazy that this guy thought. he could live with.
bears just like hey dude you're food I. how this lady's Legacy is the the dude. she dat she dump because he was gay she. was like that's not who my personality. is I used to date him h I don't know I'm. [ __ ] up dude the human ego [ __ ]. Eagles ego is not your Amigo it was for. you the human I'll do the next one so. many Ari how many of you had are those. all yours to one. slacking come on jojo rabbit get up.
baby ter dude we're done [ __ ] around. ter ter stop already ter could you guys. cut it out over here trying to have fun. dude I know right dude Rog is on the. scene stop sorry about CIA dude that's. not us that's not us we're mostly cool. most of us are chill dude stop already. Terrace Russia Ukraine cut it the [ __ ]. out dude what's your guys problems I. know trying to have fun over here people. trying to chill dude things are just. starting to get good get Maui. back's coming back be back dude American.
Spirit M be back hell yeah don't [ __ ]. with the maues what do you think they're. going to do with the um all that. situation with like people's land there. give it to. Oprah will come. in I think that's the right move she had. property yeah Untouched by the space. laser oh Uncle laser oh Jesus ch's. Uncle no I think it was a pretty serious.
tragedy yeah for real oh for sure it was. crazy how F you watch those videos how. don't I thought Mark was getting ready. to take all right fine I'll shut off. about real tragedies ready Mark chug. that freezing cold beer bong it. America don't focus on me do it for the. troops otherwise focus on you Russian. troops Russ going to win if you don't do. that come on you have to do it in one. shot are. you my throat don't be a communist up. you [ __ ] come on quick before song Runs.
Out song runs. out bro Mark Norman Mark. normanu [ __ ]. [ __ ] fu green blast that nice Marcus yes. Marcus Marcus you got to open it Marcus. open the throat how much is left in this. how much I don't want to pour hold on. how much is left. uh little Swig but may as well do it if.
you're going to do it though I thought I. had it sorry don't give me one no. pressures those last few seconds were. hard it's so cold it hurts your it's so. cold F [ __ ] sorry I'll do another one. but we do it for the troops for the. troops it's all for the troops Al Qaeda. yes J don't get me started you're up. next there dickas I already did one. greatest greatest guitar solo of all. time this No Diggity yeah this can you B. it up greatest guitar solo of all time.
you know where it. comes this is video titled the only the. best part of. Freebird. this it's true though it's true it gets. to this point. [Music]. y I can't change like let's run we're a. couple [ __ ] up white. guys fre. birger from Florida like run bro no the.
greatest thing to ever come out of. Florida they're from Florida. yeah B more than Li biscuit. Jacksonville they're from Jacksonville. Jackson bck Jackson. B come on man this the greatest guitar. solo ever yeah this is insane this. RS still holds. up no one plays instruments.
anymore except for Oliver Anthony yes. this is guys having fun dude this is the. United States of America. dude hell. yeah put it right in my ass Russia cut. it out enough's enough Putin Russia. we're done [ __ ] around dude cut it. out we're sick of this war knock it off. dude you Joe bid get your old ass out of. the way dude we're still [ __ ] shut up. deal with your own no name dude win a. National Title dude [ __ ] go Saints [ __ ].
this Clemson communist [ __ ]. VC dude how F would you guys be if no. Dame won a national title wo W Hershey. PA October 13th come on. out come on man this is insane still. going it's got to hurt the. fingers just sorry here's the. question it's not even half over this.
might have been going through Grizzly. man's head at the. [Music]. end wow that rips this guy got laid. wait for. it wait for. [Music]. it come on how much of this can we. [Music]. play woo these guys died the plane.
crash some of them did. yes so. good. damn wow still going. [Music]. This Guy's in the. zone. shredding look at us look at us just a. couple of honkies bopping honky honky's. bopping.
[Laughter]. [Music]. dude God damn this is good they just let. him run. oh man I'm about to [ __ ] it's one of the. only songs ever oh want a [ __ ] where the. music is better than the song yeah yeah. it's like go who needs the. lyrics I like autotune. [Music].
myself it's crazy all right yeah crazy. that's that's what that eight. minutes step back like let let him. go Jesus this guitar's got smoke just. imagine. yeah it's almost over woo I hope not.
right into the sunset till the wheels. come off God damn this is good oh my. [Music]. God know it's. fun introducing black people to Freebird. o we'll be in the car now it's 10 just. show your black friends this song and. they like what God damn I didn't know. you guys had this in you just imagine. being everybody everybody likes that.
song imagine being the Rolling Stones. you got to follow these guys like oh. [ __ ] and they went out on the tongue. then they weren't supposed to go out on. the tongue and they're like [ __ ] this. we're going out on the tongue they went. on the tongue for what that they had to. follow this yes really the Rolling. Stones had to follow what Stones SK open. for the Rolling Stones I didn't know. that yeah this is it holy [ __ ] it's like. when. Mar this is it what's the tongue the r. play this tongue so we can hear oh the.
tongue what was the order they to order. don't walk on the T some British. [ __ ] lies. jerking back around these [ __ ]. going. off they're all over that. tongue well we went over and how we. broke their Only Rule don't go out on. the tong wow oh they're feeling it.
well yeah take that you British like. just play in the back don't do the. tongue we can't reset the stage Rolling. Stones following James Brown James Brown. he go watch that one right he says. welcome to America [ __ ] got off. stage to really no you know that St you. know that story Jason Brown goes hey we. got you follows me you got you then the. Rolling Stones he goes no I'm last I'm. James Brown and he goes well that's not. the order we have it's somebody huge. then you then the Rolling Stones he goes.
I'm leaving [ __ ] goodbye he gets down. the block and he comes back and he goes. actually you know what let the Rolling. Stones go after me hell let's do that. then he went nuts and he's like I'll put. it on the best show I've ever put on my. life wow go that [ __ ] yeah. really dudee I saw the killers at [ __ ]. in Delaware and they killers in Delaware. talking about James Brown they second to. last and they were like do that oh there. he is is this it right here oh my God. let me give us here this yeah it's the. literally I skipped through it yeah he.
was going he's doing. push-ups is this him leaving no he keeps. pretending to. leave oh my good who that these crackers. are nervous. the rolling ston now wait go back cuz. the Rolling Stones actually kill. also that's how good they. are oh he's bringing the.
heat yeah look at those feet the. shuffle you're in the back you're some. British guy in a sweater turtleneck oh. yeah this is amazing I mean this is. athleticism this isn't just like dancing. like you have to learn how to do that. well they're all on crank how do you. know got got bued he's on serious what. were they on coke whatever they could.
find Hunter bid bro look at his feet. yeah it's. insane damn. woo bam what is one black lady is that. Michelle Obama. look at that no he wasn't. there Mike she was gaged that lady that. lady's entrenched she's entrenched by. James Brown look at him well he's a he's. hypnotic he's the best oh my God he is. the best hey Jamie yeah play wa wait.
wait wait Jamie Brown play the zier one. all right zier yeah when he fought when. Ali fought George Foreman James Brown. opened the. show thr in Manila oh my God it was an. extravaganza that was in Manila ah it. was and it was also and Z the beginning. of the downfall of Hunter Thompson I. like you said fear and zier because.
Hunter Thompson went there and didn't. want to watch Muhammad Ali get beat up. and so he stayed in his hotel and just. drank and floated around in the pool. with a Nixon mask on and he didn't even. realize that he he missed he got s over. there by Rolling Stones to miss like the. greatest he over to watch the motorcycle. rally he didn't do that either yeah but. this was important what a hor this. important this is James Brown live and. watch. this will make your blad.
splatter who's this guy this man will. free Barack. Obama if you will let's all welcome the. world's God. brother number one J Brown there you go. damn F watch this [ __ ] son what an. outfit Zanzibar [ __ ] stash on. this guy holy. [ __ ] right into it baby let's go why.
even wear the outfit out there great. head of. hair come on sonow. Wow with the mic in the stand [ __ ]. Godfather of. Soul Jesus God damn he was good. [Music].
zier. Damn built like a running back dude he's. like thick dude you had to be he's so. ath ath you had to be an athlete to do. what he does on stage yeah crank just a. movement. crank I mean that's a lot of [ __ ] lot. of in America it's a man's world yeah. look at them they love it it's fun.
Imagine that's the opening for a fight I. know right it's not like chenade doing. one song right I mean this is James. Brown opening for the this is Roa do I. mean opens for rid do yes that's crazy. everybody thought Ali was going to get. killed George Foreman was a destroyer. yeah he was just Flatline of people you. just couldn't stop him he just moved. forward just mowed you over with body. punches he was such a he was so scary.
George was so he knocked out Joe Frasier. and was like he lifted him up in the air. when he knocked him out but then Fraser. got beat up by oh this is when. Jay oh here we go. a sex machine baby he's yacked up he's. trying to [ __ ] this. [Music]. lady no do what to do nothing wrong. nothing wrong at all you're not in any. difficulty but you're out on bond no I'm. not no I'm not Char has been dropped. yeah I'm out on.
love are you out on love or out of love. which is it out on love Ione from night. to night you find me now. he's amazing work this out let's talk. about some music you want to talk about. music and you don't want to talk about. what happen no it's all over well let's. talk about your tour when are you. leaving we're leaving tomorrow. Rio Rio Rio de J and S PA Brazil now.
your your fans will have read all about. this James aren't you concerned about. that. guys. no I'm concerned because there's nothing. wrong. and Jesus Christ oh man he's yacked up. never like he's having a good [ __ ]. time damn she's talking about like. allegations of like what is it domestic. violence domestic she like no that's. [ __ ] baby well do you remember when. he got arrested because someone was.
using his toilet he chased him with a. [ __ ] shotgun and then he had a. shootout with the cops the [ __ ] cops. chased him down they shot his tires out. cops shot his tires out bro wow. good TI I don't think he shot at the. cops I shouldn't say shoot out with the. cops but the the cops definitely shot. his tires people still part like Richard. prior shot his own [ __ ]. car cuz his wife tried to leave oh wow. yeah that's right he had a whole bit. about it yeah Jesus that was like the. slap with Chris Rock but it was because.
it was all over the news they shout out. two of his tires and he drove on the. rims for six. miles 1988 highspeed Chase through. Georgia and South Carolina. he tried to Ram police cars with his. pickup truck that's when that interview. was was from 88 so it was the same. because of that oh he's. like bab that was nothing. 1988 love I can't believe he got out you. ram police amazing got out of there wow.
good lawyers wait wait no that was later. that year cuz that Artic you going back. in after that interview after the. interview yeah hold on let me see he. learned nothing interview says April 4th. 1988 and the our arrest this says on. this day December 15th. 1988 he began serving a sentence then. hold on sorry how long did he do so he. got mad cuz someone used his. [ __ ] that's what it all started from. somebody used his he had a personal. bathroom someone took a [ __ ] in it he. got super. mad going think of being that.
guy had dude I'm pretty sure that was. the origin of it think of being that guy. you're around James Brown you've been. around famous people you're like [ __ ] I. don't want to piss him off I don't want. to piss but God damn I got to take. there's no way he's going to be mad. about. this his shotgun gets on a highp speed. chase bro could you imagine your. boatley [ __ ] Terri Bert kryer [ __ ] in. James Brown's toilet he definitely would.
do Fu reporting with James Brown oh my. God I got to take a [ __ ] and then he. would come out oh my God I took a [ __ ]. James Brown be like what [ __ ]. PCP habit PCP what is a habit and what. is you just. enjoy it he's just trying to get through. the day they're framing it this way. stranger bathroom I can see that. bathroom I got a w a shot strangers. using it strangers were using his. bathroom the police arrived Brown LED. them on a highp speeded Chase Georgia.
and South Carolina he was like I'm going. past state line I don't give a [ __ ] damn. dude taking PCP and someone takes a dump. in your toilet and you got a gun you're. going to want you're going to stay on. your ground oh Brown went to jail at 15. for breaking into cars nice he sang in. the prison choir and started a ban when. he got out. wow this when rock stars were rock stars. oh bro he was the rockiest of rock stars. rules he was a bad [ __ ] yeah the. movie wasn't bad about him the guy. killed it the actor who I forget who's.
done the best like biop pick of a a. famous musician was Phoenix Kilmer doors. oh that was he actually kind of went a. little crazy. walk walk the line was Walk the Line is. pretty. great you know what I don't think. there's a a number one cuz there that is. Walk the Line is pretty [ __ ] amazing. Back to the. Future Dewey Cox Dey Cox rolles yeah who. else cutting who else was there speak. English doc we ain't scientists um who.
else was there B Kilmer [ __ ] killed. it he did kill it Jim Morrison though. Morris suck in a as a human as a. human he's so annoying it's like it's. like okay it's deep but it's like oh my. God can you imagine being around that. guy but also but What musician you like. they're all that you want to hang out. with that guy but. also this is the end he was 27 wow good.
point he was 27 in 1969 nobody knew. anything we were all Moon beans Sun of. horizon couldn't get it up yeah that. does suck obviously come on dud can we. just drink we are. tempor of tell you know who killed it. was Jim cary's caufman that was pretty. impressive not not a musici another guy. who kind of went a little crazy doing a. rooll a little yeah man how good is that. Chappelle joke what oh never mind say it. that gu I don't want to ruin the joke oh.
is he's doing you edit this out no don't. all right we'll talk about it afterwards. it's so good remember oh it's a new bit. new one got you all right the biopic is. tricky cuz like did they really say that. do you know if they said that for sure a. biopic like how do I know what he said. right but that was not a musician but. again we don't know if he was actually. like that he looked exactly like that. though good job. [ __ ] is the [ __ ] man he man he's.
the best he's the Irish Catholic actor. theat the goat he's the only guy that. I've ever seen ain't no scientist I. ain't no Scientologist ain't no goddamn. [ __ ] Buddhist he's just a good. Catholic there's there is no talk about. Jamie good Irish man J Mo Jamie speak up. boy don't just sit back there. smiling he was the best boxer ever like. actor turned boxer for a movie he looked. he looked like a real boxer he he spent. like a whole year training out a legit. boxing see that's the thing you know. fighting so like when you watch Rocky.
it's like comical if I watch a football. movie it right destroys me or a comedy. movie A comedy movie like there's no. lockers. lock actually we were thinking about. putting in lockers at the mother sh it's. not a bad idea I mean you should but. there were none Hurt Locker we actually. yeah let the door guys have lockers put. their shirt in there we do have lockers. those guys but um we have oh yeah leave. some scars in there some cigarettes or. something yeah yeah yeah stuff like that.
shut the [ __ ] up some need some need of. cocaine cocaine some need of cocaine for. me it's pool when people pretend they. can play pool drives me [ __ ] money. video and color money's okay because Tom. Cruz is look the guy's amazing Tom Tom. Cruz is a wizard like he doesn't really. look like a pool player but he kind of. does it's enough where it's not. offensive but Paul Newman was a little. offensive white man can't jump both. Woody and Denzel were [ __ ] they can.
playk another one you see a guy shoot a. jumper this is terrible I would imagine. if. like did you ever see will frell in in. that uh whatever PE PE. but yeah Rocky you see him swing and is. like a foot and a half between him and. the guy and there's also there's also. just nothing but Haymakers to the face. exactly exactly go pull up Daniel D. Lewis and the boxer it's pretty. impressive because it looks like youever. heard of the boxer it's it's a guy about.
an IRA guy right yeah um but it's like. when you watch the the film like he. looks like a real boxer and and he. wasn't you know the [ __ ] guy just. figured it out he's a gay actor is he. gay he's just following no but actors. are gay Daniel gay if you're this good. at acting is there any boxing footage in. this there it. is7 underrated good-looking guy Daniel. gay leis so here's the so look like when.
you're watching this like this looks. like a real boxing match really from the. 50s no no it looks like you're right. you're right it does he looks like a. boxer I mean obviously they're pulling. their punch punches but he looks like a. real boxer he's using head movement he's. not just waiting in throwing power. punches they're they're ducking under. this is legit it's a lot of a lot of. action yeah you know but that looks. legit that looks legit to me that's like. non it's a lot of action there not much.
stopping there but sometimes there's. fights like that every now and then a. fight breaks out like that especially. like amateur fights in irland yeah I. mean there not going to be a lot of B. ass now man good days indeed yeah I. don't think it was but it was still you. know like that's a legitimate scenario. that could I've seen that happen in. fights before Kevin CER that pitching. movie was pretty shitty but as a golf he. was pretty good yeah you remember Paul. uh you know um as a golf when did this. go away remember this why did that go. away oh yeah well had a style that beat.
I can tell you if you want to know black. people yeah let's see because they had. didn't have gloves on and when you don't. have gloves on one of the things you. realize really early on is that you. break these knuckles you swing wild. punches you catch people in theirs you. catch people in the foreheads you're. going to [ __ ] your [ __ ] hands up like. almost all the time so a lot of guys. learned how to just kind of jab at you. with these Knuckles so they were hitting. at each no no this is the way you. punched people they would jab at each.
other with these Knuckles so they stand. there like this and they jab at each. other with these Knuckles cuz these. Knuckles can tolerate and these Knuckles. can't these Knuckles break these over. here break these two these two right. here if you're going to break bricks if. you're going to break bricks these are. the ones these are the ones okay. breaking bricks yeah I cracked this one. once and I didn't even have to have a. surgery on it they're thick it's like a. thick bone it'll heal up but a lot of. guys they break these down here they. break this down here so what guys.
figured out how to do is to kind of jab. each other with these bare Knuckles and. if you watch like bare knuckle boxing. like they're kind of doing that now a. little bit they tense up and they throw. big punches like a box or two but. they're also kind of jabbing each other. every now and then with Knuckles cuz you. want to catch them with just these front. two those are really your primary. weapons in your hand if you hit someone. right here with the pinky on the. forehead it's touch and go man you could. shatter your whole hand and then you. have one hand that's why I stick to.
slapping was that the but this is. different cuz these guys have their. hands. the this is a different story here. because their hands are very w. like their Knuckles are covered so their. hands are protected damn on concrete. what what they're doing right here is a. different thing damn these guys have. like some thick ass hand wraps on you. see when he's making his fist with his. right hand see how thick that is that's. a padding that'll allow you to punch.
harder see this is the thing this is the. rub against gloves that truly. unrealistic [ __ ] blows whatever that. was look how Bloody he is though yeah. this is much more realistic so these. guys have things. wow wa play that back oh my God how oh. man he just walks away love the walk. away look at the [ __ ] oh this is GRE. he's in the coffin got stiffened. up that is a perfect punch perfect. Viagra this guy's stiff RI Morse woo.
Hatchi Mai so this is black guy got over. there and started wailing on us no he's. not black what is he yeah you're done. you're done bro I don't see color it's. over for you you're. cancelled is he black oh my Good's like. Ethiopian bro that guy fought with jeans. on oh my God they P that guy sweats bro. they pulled that guy off a horse and. gave him a sixpack you're time to throw.
down slap off but that fre fre bear no. huh the slap won't catch on bro here's. the crazy thing about the slap is that. it's weird Smith they [ __ ] drug test. those dudes the slap boxes they should. never that's like like drug T. snowboarders drug test for doing drug. for everything don't don't test for meth. it's SLA let the boys do math let the bo. do what they do they it's sanctioned by.
the State athletic commission I mean. that's I mean what is treated like it's. a sport what how what yeah it's like. guys it's joke fighting who cares what. let them do math let get. yeah let let him do a little PCP let's. see let's have a PCP [ __ ] division. they would let him have guys only just. [ __ ] that would be fun this has to. have been discussed before but a drug by. drug division by drug only Dr the Pod. champion champion the heroin one's going.
to be real boring yeah we could you. could totally have like a meth Champion. meth Champion would be you have to do. math before the fights maybe angel dust. or PCP that's the one it'd be every khib. McGregor every he'd win and be. [Laughter]. like right. out next person Jesus Christ yeah it's. kind of wild that we let people fight. but we don't let them fight on drugs. yeah go for it do whatever you want I. mean ultimate Freedom the ultimate.
freedom is you could fight on drugs do. whatever you want that's what the UFC. was based on do whatever you want fight. we guys know about high rollers right no. high rollers is the weed competition. where they do Jiu-Jitsu when they they. get high first and then like Elite. Jiu-Jitsu guys have Jiu-Jitsu matches. slows everything down yeah not really it. it actually makes you focus yeah I mean. like that guy's about to shoot okay well. it just makes you like much more focused. in what's going on for some strange. reason I don't know how you guys do it. like you guys perform High.
crazy yeah I can't think of anything. that's Joe Shilling oh you just don't. know Joe Shilling May the number one man. yeah he's an elite. kickboxer yeah it's um you do it because. it's fun Mark Norman it just slows. everything down where you're like I see. everything going on very SL it's almost. like the Matrix you're like oh wait hold. on for me it always gives me Revelations. that I didn't know I was going to get. you fight High you roll High yeah I used. to always roll high it was like we never. I haven't rolled in like over a year.
wait wait likey I I'm I was starting to. do it again but I've got a elk hunting. season and I'm like I don't want to [ __ ]. my seat my knees up before I go uh elk. hunting fair so around November I start. doing again okay yeah I had a knee. problem like like was very re I tore my. MCL I tore it going on stage at stubs. what stage no I tore it going up the. stairs was so stupid dude because we. were it was doing the Chappelle shows.
and we were just [ __ ] obliterated. backstage and uh I had to go up the. stairs and I was turning my I was like. oh I'm going up now and I was turning my. uh phone to airplane mode and I stubbed. my [ __ ] foot up these stairs like. this these concrete stubs I and I. twisted my knee like B and then when I. was on stage my knee was shaking like. shaking cuz it's in physical pain like. it's like yikes it [ __ ] hurts did you. mention it you pushed through I should.
have mentioned it but then I didn't know. what to do with it cuz I I hadn't done. standup in a long time and I was just. starting to do standup again CU it was. during the pic pandemic now I would. definitely mention it wait do you. there's like you must think jit is kind. of like your life to a degree one part. of your big life but like you must know. an a you're not going to do it in 90 so. you must Gracie did okay but you were. like there's going to be a time where. I'm like I got to stop that yeah you. could still do it as long as you do it. with people like you that have good. control the whole idea is you don't want.
to get like a [ __ ] Young quarterback. [ __ ] jacked super athlete to [ __ ]. throw you around and hurt you yeah but. uh a lot of guys there's there's like a. lot of guys that roll like deep into. their 60s wow yeah they just do it with. smart people Bundy yeah yeah yeah yeah. Al Bundy yeah yeah Ed O'Neal Ed O'Neal. is a legit black belat shut upow yes he. is no way yes he is yes he is he looks. like a dad like he's that a sh Ed Ed. O'Neal absolutely is a legit Jiu-Jitsu. Married with Children.
yep roll some people yep there he is. holy [ __ ] he's legit I just randomly by. chance was on a flight with him once no. way totally randomly he sat right next. to me and we talked about Jiu-Jitsu the. entire time get out of here yeah we just. talked about Jiu-Jitsu wow you got to. love it a couple of black belts chilling. in first class are you BL Bel yeah I've. been black that little McGregor Bravo. BL no I'm John jock Machado jock ma wow. G and G and no yeah wow we got in a pool.
with Vincent denafo yesterday so I don't. know what the [ __ ] you're talking about. true is still. around Hotel Vince is jacked by the way. really he [ __ ] big dude pull up. Vince's age how old is that guy cuz he. was [ __ ] Jack I just got him conf. confused you said Vincent Deno for some. reason Vincent Gallow very different. remember the Buffalo 66 guy bunny brown. bunny no not so tough oh that guy he's. jacked now he's jacked bro I was jacked.
he was jacked bro but he's he's like. hanging in there for an old guy no no no. no I saw him get out of the pool he was. [ __ ] for real he was Jacky [ __ ]. stronger than any of us bro how good was. he in Full Metal ja how old are we. talking. T 64 he's [ __ ] strong he looked good4. he looked about 64 he's got some hair. still yeah gray but full dude how good. was that guy in Full Metal he looks. better than that now you know what else.
he was great in what the [ __ ] alien. movie Men in. Black it was [ __ ] amazing I'm not an. alien I'm just running about. dega rules is [ __ ] great that movie I. mean to have a guy who's like a serious. actor go hard in on being a bug inside a. human suit also Kingpin holy [ __ ] good. Kingpin he got. F Kingpin in the new one newer ones. hey rules dude did not forio rules I.
told you we were at the pool you were. trying to be a nay that's AR though. disgusting being I say once he started. doing TV like all actors the career goes. pretty downhill that's crazy talk all. his great stuff was before. CSI C being nasty though it's a rough. one for a decade I'm now a TV guy. instead of a film did it for a decade. he's back in movies yeah but it's just. the thing about those those shows are so. shallow shallow in comparison to the. movies that he's done when you've done. full metal jacket and yeah I get it I.
would look guy who hosted Fear Factor I. know about sing out yeah but the problem. is like when you're doing that when. you're that good yeah TV's a different. TV's chaff TV's good now though you got. your breaking. back those that's true too that's true. did the best he could for CSI but after. that 2001 he wasn't is about like what. are you talking about you don't know. [ __ ] about. his you saw person you didn't know I.
said you're dating out of your. league thing is she he we looked over. there was a lady sitting not next to him. but a chair over I don't want to put any. smut on Vince dude you're the man shut. up shout up V shout up from Mi dude we. love. you but but I looked at these guys I was. like yo you see that yeah and he was. like yeah. not that's his age that's the same. sheing together I was saying yeah do you.
think that's the guy from [ __ ] full m. I was going no that guy's not like an. older guy young woman you guys are the. same age we are you guys are dude what. you and Bug early 7. like that makeup job killer that [ __ ]. movie was fun would whooped. your every m is good dude they're all. good we need a we need a good [ __ ]. alien. movie Attack the Block who Attack the. Block [ __ ] rules what aliens attack. black people yeah that's hilarious. pretty much it yeah in.
England yeah black attacked the [ __ ]. ghetto in England what for real they. hold their own what year was this like. 2012 something like that right around. there what Attack the Block it's like. some teenagers in London and they like. they [ __ ] fight the. aliens white guy in there W it was the. guys it's guys from uh he was just in it. but he it was pretty [ __ ] Star Wars guy. well jumbo OA oh yeah before that's. another Tom Cruz movie war of. Worlds he was back in that rules War of.
the world's rules yeah pretty [ __ ]. good I think Tom Cruz rules he rules I'm. just I look I've got a deep seated. argument with my friends that he's not. he's not. top 10 no he's number one by far um. Blockbusters no exactly that's where the. argument changes where it's like. Superstar Blockbuster he's the it's by. whose definition is for know this is why. it's a good bar argument fores he was. it's oh the new Tom Cruz movie okay Brad.
Pit. no Leonardo DiCaprio behind him n Leo's. good not as long not as long here's the. thing about Tom Cruz Tom Hanks not as. big Jack Nicholson nobody car jack n k. Nichol Tom's huge Tom who a lot of. movies but he's like not as respected as. Tom Cruz lot of movies a bunch of I. don't know I think he's more likable the. vampire was so long ago here's one thing. you have to. consider Minority Report great Vanilla.
Sky great Mission Impossible all of them. listen interview. wither all of them Mission Impossible is. Vin Diesel that is Fast and Furious dude. if you like. like Fast and Furious sure. sure the. vampire but how many missions imposses. are we talking that's fast and furious. how about collateral how about. collateral. collateral he's amazing he's better than. all those. guys Tom Hanks you don't know anything I.
yeah I don't watch movies and waste my. time he's in Gold Member too oh oh you. say not right all right get DiCaprio up. fire diio no one goes out also here's a. new DiCaprio movie there's a. Tom stupid you go I'm going to see Tom. Cruz movie schwarzer movie [ __ ] like. that Jango no no you like I'm going to. Taran that's a Tarantino movie that's. not re sure but five six movies top okay. AR is a hater this is crazy not a hater.
I'm just saying Tom Cruz Schwarzenegger. there you going to see them he put out. hold on hold on he put out gangs New. York I think within the same week he put. out catch me that's great but you're not. going to see a DiCaprio movie Yes areel. was bigger than God of New York G York. is the director you're going to see the. director's movie. drunk if you going to see g New York who. are you going to show movies wait who. are you going to show up for Scorsese.
scorsi exactly you're going I'm going to. see a new scors movie C movie if you. going to see aliens who you going to see. yeah but people do go to see the. DiCaprio movies too rley Scott yes. exactly so but Tom Cruz Tom Cruz going. I'm going to see Tom Cruz movie Schwarz. Egger when time you went to a movie and. said I'm going to see the Tom Cruz movie. every Tom Cruz movie this is also like. Steven Spielberg though so there's a. little bit of there's overlap there's. overlap yeah for sure people always go.
to spiel spiels movies it's crazy always. no you go see it's Tarantino movies if. somebody's in the Tarantino movie you're. like that's great did it still going T. movie with kindergart with Kindergarten. Cop you're like I'm going into the new. Schwarzenegger movie okay nobody's. comparing Kindergarten Cop Le DiCaprio's. career I know and I'm saying it's not a. two I'm saying leard DiCaprio you're not. going to see his movies yes you are no. you're going to see movie in you're not.
but some people are why is that so hard. to understand I'm saying more so you're. going to see a Tom Cruz movie to go see. a Tom Cruz movie you're going I'm here. to see the Tom Cruise movie no way what. is it Mission Impossible 7 get what. guess what dude they get away with it. the the mission was possible for the. seventh [ __ ] time dude there's. another crap movie here's an. interesting he does his own stunts who. gives a Fu generated 4.7 billion who do.
you think going to be right below him at. Fourth Place who they know DiCaprio. DiCaprio if it comes to the top three. are all Marvel characters so this one is. not. the top three is not the fourth one's. not so top Cruz has been the leader for. like 30 years um who do we guess yeah. yeah I'm saying decaprio schwarzeneger. oh Chris Pratt schwarzer's a b did. Jurassic Park in okay who is it where's. T up Tom. Tom [ __ ] what do you mean.
he's all the Star Wars It's not that any. of these guys aren't good just Indiana. Jones you know it's a great Scarlet. Johansson movie it's what it called. Under the Skin Lucy was fun too but. there's a there a movie where she plays. an alien she plays an alien that takes. over like a a human form starts [ __ ]. dudes up I wish she would take me over I. bet she. would uh who are the top ones it was SE.
Jackson was number one but that's. because of the Marvel. movie adding up the profit of movies and. then Robert dowt dowy knew it it should. be guys who were leading the movie I. mean Marvel movies what what happened to. us that that's like what we really want. to see more anything a superhero it's. just a guaranteed lock a lock is that a. weird [ __ ] it makes sense though. Uncle Glazer what is that about our. society we made all these movies over. and over again and then it just.
condensed down to the perfect all Dorito. we made a Dorito the third Dorito hey. there we go I like that seen guys she HS. up with these guys and they [ __ ]. spish oh species was the same kind of. plot line right yeah um species made me. rock hard as a child Natasha. hrid she was on Fear Factor once no did. as a nobody or as a celebrity as a. celebrity okay really nice lady very. pretty you're taking Tom Cruz over Tom. Hanks yeah for sure bro yeah Tom Hanks.
is Tom Hanks had a great career I'm I'm. saying there's different categories of. how you judar me out on this Tom Hanks. had a run Tom Cruz had a run Tom Cruz. had a crazy run it was insane when was. taking care of business hold on Risky. Business risky business when was that. care of business 1986 86 86 till still. now no no no no no headlining movies let. me 40 years all right let him speak let. me speak okay they had they I'm talking. about like specific runs where both of.
their like it was just hit Oscar runs. Tom Hanks was. amazing Oscar runs Tom both came out in. 94 Tom Hanks had a run of Tom Hanks for. Oscar runs was crazy Tom Hanks had a run. of like Saving Private Ryan Forest gum y. [ __ ] Green Mile you forget about Toy. Story he had all the cast away he had. like such a [ __ ] thing you do but. then he now he stinks now he's doing. nothing but turn hoop even the BS and. punchline all that [ __ ] what's he doing. now that you don't like scroll down wait.
till you see his recent [ __ ] it's crap. dude man called audio best he. was wait wait a minute he was great in. Elvis not. really he was he was just in elv Rogers. Ari he was just in Elvis it wasn't his. movie said he was really great he was. the like the co-star of the movie he was. the the colonel also you cited Tropic. Thunder is great literally all Tom Cruz. did is Scream and dance and that for.
five minutes fair enough fair enough so. show your [ __ ] [ __ ] assou that movie. rules rules maybe the last good minity. report is great Jerry Maguire Jer. McGuire was yeah all these were great. Interview with the Vampire I'm not. saying Interview with the Vampire no. one's saying any of these guys aren't. that's the problem you say one guy's. better than the another guy everyone. like you think this guy sucks like. they're all amazing that's the point of. having a fun argument yeah exactly Jack. Reacher the whole Jack Reacher series. Jack Reacher still a [ __ ] action star.
the Jack Reacher thing doesn't even make. sense I thought Jack Reacher was good. yeah when it came out now recently I. showed my friend Chris oconor who loves. Tom Cruz Road dog shout Road dog Bro. you've never seen Jack Reacher this is. so good we watched it within 10 minutes. I was like dude for real my bad I didn't. know I was [ __ ] when I watched this. what isck this is for [ __ ] the new. Reacher show on Amazon is much better. dud it's so funny watching movies that's. what Reacher was supposed to be Reacher.
was supposed to be a giant guy you know. heat [ __ ] in the books heat heat. sucks yeah rules it's so [ __ ] I got. I got a piss during this guy going on. one Big Heist I got one Big Heist to me. but oh [ __ ] the cops are actually. trailing me right now well I guess we. can't do the ice no do it anyway you got. to do it the cop so stupid it's Psy. stupid he has a dinner with the cop he's. like I'm never going to stop looking at. you he goes well I'm going to keep doing.
this [ __ ] Heist that's. great it's so [ __ ] yeah it is. [ __ ] you just wouldn't do it and. then [ __ ] with the Mexican like I'll. go it for it I know. I respect you enough to not go for it. now based on the Hollywood shootout but. if somebody was like Hey so you know. we're watching you don't rob a bank and. you were like well I definitely can't. now but that's how big of his ego no. yeah but that's and he still almost got. away with it it's so dumb it's like it's. hard enough to do a heist yep also every.
love scene he have with the chick better. dairo is. better n i meano is the man yeah it's. actually that one's acceptable if you're. talking about best acting ability sure. I'm talk best acting ability Tom Cruz. isn't even close biggest star I'm saying. Tom Cruz 40 Phil SE Hoffman butt [ __ ]. Tom Cruz died could hand heroin like a. real man Tom butu him Tom a better all. those absolutely I'm saying biggest star. for many years I'll be honest we're. coming off like dumb asses obviously.
we've been St they're all great two. drinks dude I've been putting these. traces down you do this every time we do. this dude me this every time we do it. and you have two sips I'm pretty bottle. still. full on look around look at what we're. doing you sit around these are this is. water this trans trans fluid coward man. coward look at that coward and I've been. doing the the the the eagle we all doing. it way more another one a we got to we.
got to go on soon Shane there's only two. more left let's [ __ ] finish this uhoh. look at short shorts coming in is that. Daisy. Duke Jo ready to KCK be hanging out of. that thing what's. that [ __ ] what' you say he said America. [ __ ] yeah oh let's go Norman does this. every time we do this he doesn't get. [ __ ] up I'm going. liquor you had. two yeah it's good point yeah no one.
ever gives for weed all homos over there. not smoking weed R and I are holding it. down for the weak Community you guys. want to do real drugs I'm high as [ __ ]. let's do some ketamine let's get it from. Duncan the Connie made his tub. D you just got to make sure you got the. right you got hurry up you mus I don't. know I [ __ ] completely froze way a. bail on that McConnell I'm [ __ ]. completely froze m is better than Tom.
I whatever happened to M didn't he run. for mayor rules no no he he was going to. run for governor and then he said he to. run the MLS yeah why would I want to be. a politician Jesus. Christ he can help people just like. talking yeah just being cool he's so. [ __ ] did he get hair plugs go I hope. so. yeah you guys want to know why I hate. Tom Cruz why do you hate Tom Cruz.
Valkyrie I love. Hitler CH that's why he was an. anti-hitler I was watching that movie I. was like get this treachery Norman going. for the whole thing one time Norman. going for the whole thing this one time. Norman please mark please. mark good job good for you good for you. boy yes and then the watch goes off this. is always fun we have a fun time it's a. good time for comedy we have a great.
[ __ ] time everybody go watch Shane. Gill special on Netflix right now Mark. Norman specials also on Netflix you ring. it up I guess so decided to [ __ ] out of. here or should we keep rolling that. [ __ ] Eagle after you. bro get bite I haven't eaten today we. did like here's a lie oh you know okay I. did eat I forgot we ate that was 12. hours ago it. was kill Tony kill Tony never existed.
it's 8 o' we got an hour and 15 minutes. but we can show up late that'll start. late tacos have you guys talked to Tony. has anybody talked to Tony I haven't. looked at my phone today about what. about whether or not he knows you're. coming he knows you're 78 guests Ric. Flair the other guy post Malone yeah who. knows anymore post Malone that's what I. call the years after. cheers that was a deep one Jesus.
Christ that one one Eagle put me over. the edge you know what I do like getting. into a deep bar argument about who makes. the best actor or something post Malone. yeah screaming about something oh my God. people will scream at it is Barry. Sanders EMT Smith better some dumb [ __ ]. like that but screaming because there's. no right or wrong I know that's what. happens it's the best you get a little. drunk I've been in several bar fights. about Tom Cruz have you seen suro great. movie yeah great movie you know what I'm. saying that's like a kind of bar scene.
argument you seen Sero. alino lines and screams gibberish all he. does is Scream oh I know where you like. it cuz she's got a. big sensible woman that's a [ __ ] movie. sensible woman driving a Ferrari Ferrari. blind yeah doesn't hit anything Irishman. you can watch him [ __ ] up a line and. they just kept it well no one made it to. that he's in the middle of a speech and. then he's just like you're.
[ __ ] you're [ __ ] keep [ __ ] like. I appr keep it just like trying to be a. really frustrated guy no no no that's. what I mean I think I think they kept it. as far as like this is how people. actually talk right but I you think he. [ __ ] up I I don't know anything but I. will say I think Pacino and Jack have. been making up their own lines for a. while big early on good set and then. they went and leave if you watch The. Departed and pay attention to anything.
Jack says that entire movie oh you Che. this is gibberish start to finish City. tick no laundry yeah he throws cocaine. on the girl's [ __ ] he's like don't move. until you feel numb. [ __ ] they let him go no never in a. million years of someone do that when. the body's in the M that's the best part. the accent's horrible must have been a. big [ __ ] dog let me hear this we got. a cheese eating rat eating [ __ ].
rat and it brings up questions Cruz. couldn't have done. this coke out of R could have never done. this I would love to see Cruz coked up. Leo. rules why don't you stay in the bar that. night I got you oh the accent's bad bad. Social Security. numbers everybody's [ __ ] num still. such a good performance movie fun movie. great. movie Internal Affairs one of the best.
I'm not the [ __ ] rat okay he looks. young not the [ __ ] rat he was would. you there is a rat see in growing pce. there is I base most of what I do on the. idea that your he was still hot he's. gotten a little. bloated yeah cuz he's old now he's. ancient who no he's oh yeah I'm talking. about Leo he was an easy writer he was. great yeah Five Easy Pieces but oh I. I'll go Matt Damon Matt Dam's pretty all.
these guys are great all these times are. all these guys have great rules he's a. fun hang I bet Matt Damon rules but come. on. no he's not in the running he's not in. the running he is great he's not in the. running what about Johnny de about. Johnny Johnny has it he obviously has it. what about Christian Bale oh maybe best. actor maybe best actor The Machinist. it's like who the [ __ ] is this guy. Christian Bale destroys Tom Cruz yeah.
absolutely acting ability for sure I. don't give you acting ability. Starck Batman Jesus Christ Batman. [ __ ] Vice VI is one of my favorite. great uh. great dick jie without Prosthetics. without Prosthetics same guy that played. American Psycho played Dick chain Mach. was the best to me he was gone in that. he sucked that the M wasn't that. good so good he was good the movie was.
he was great the movie was like what's. really funny is uh every every time I've. had this drunk Tom Cruz argument yeah. this is how it goes you keep drinking. and you're like Christian Bale. who else was good you settled down I who. else was good yeah look at that that's. an actor he went from bone thin to. [ __ ] Bert fat yeah look at him that's. we we might have talked about this on. here before no he didn't Vice is one of. the vice is designed to like make you. maybe not like him and in reality it.
just makes you be like damn change the. man I saw in the. theater dude it's so good there's a part. where he. there's an underrated Dell's an. underrated Destro Tom Cruz but [ __ ] Tom. cruzo that movie shut up they crazy. what's that movie we played was. only fo Tom Cruz not a big deal that's. [ __ ] Easy Money Mo wow these are. strong words but you're supposed to not.
like the movie and then uh there's a. there's a part where Amy Adams is is. like you better change or I'm going to. leave you and he's like okay I'll I'll. just oh yes I'll be pretty good he just. his wife is like you just got a DUI and. a drunken fight you're a big loser I'm. going to leave you if you don't become. great and he's just like okay yes and. then he just takes over the entire world. oh yeah what is that he just becomes the. most powerful man on Earth pretty sick.
he's like I hear you look at that acting. I'm the CEO a large. company and I have been Secretary of. Defense Ste. Phoenix. Phoenix. Tom the Napoleon trailer put on the. Napoleon. trailer I haven't seen the trailer. bonart you haven't seen it I haven't. seen it oh I've been [ __ ] rock hard. for. Napoleon watch this trailer you guys are.
acting like there's no [ __ ] top shum. Top Gun Top over. [ __ ] stupid but he's so cool watch this. look at that that. [ __ ] this is a real. film Ridley Scott Best Director he's. great his brother. died. scre. 1793 in the streets fired up this is a.
[ __ ] flick must make an example our. France will follow this must be a huge. budget oh what would you do if this. assignment of defense was transferred to. you. Jesus I promise you Brant. successes wow great director director.
number one what is this costume you have. on this is my. uniform. Banger bro imagine being alive. I know. right he wasn't that short by the way. what is your name Napoleon as the course. of my life just changed. Napoleon been there I'm destined for. greatness but those in power will only. see me as a. sword what do you think that is I.
suggest you take the throne as a king. guys like him Alexander the Great they. just have. a an urge to take over shall we vote. yeah made himself the. king yeah it's got some. drive this Berlin has held the world. hostage with his egotism and his lack of. simple good. [Music].
manners you think you're. great you are just a tiny little brute. is nothing thing without. me I don't get the lady to involve. isting forces against me what's the. outcome of this if you don't. succeed Your Majesty we are discovered. good I'm the first to admit when this a.
good pod right. here just my God I simply never. do wow oh my let's go finally a movie no. more Marvel hor [ __ ] or mermaid whatever. imagine Thanksgiving Napoleon rules. being a lot they made him look like he. rules Napoleon does rule I mean mean now. after that movie A lot of people like I. like it J did he was buried in a tomb in. [ __ ] Paris they said they made the.
the awning lower so you had to Bow your. head before you got to see his body and. Hitler goes no build a series of mirrors. so I could look at his tomb without. having to bow my head well then that. actually makes H the rule yeah he. respected him but he goes I do not. comply with your rules that actually. [ __ ] also rules he said he wouldn't. go in when they occupied France to like. build the series of mirrors and he goes. there's the thing look at me not buying. my head take him down wow yeah damn meth. talk Dam that's meth talk it's that. cocaine talk I ain't bowing for no how.
tall was Napoleon I think he was 5'6. that's not bad which back then wasn't. that bad but he was always surrounded by. grenadiers who were those big tall hats. and they they were like the biggest guys. in the French army everybody thought he. was shorter than he was. imagine back then man when people are. shooting muskets at each other just. running at each other shooting. tanks each other [ __ ] ladders coming. up on the wall [ __ ] man Warfare is. handson no planes no tank no computer.
gam to [ __ ] blow up a village no no. drones riding animals they're all riding. animals oh yeah not to mention the. bo you imagine what is this Jamie it's. him looking at Napoleon's tomb yeah wow. where the mirrors look down on yeah. where the mirrors yeah I think you heard. urban legend dog he brought to it he. said he what it says he brought air to. it ah urban legends God H also uh he was.
a big obviously he was a big Napoleon. guy obviously yeah and he was. desperately trying to avoid what. Napoleon did in Russia and then sure. enough there you go repeat did the exact. same thing that Napoleon did wow anyway. shout out to battle of K let's go that's. the big one I never knew the one that. was one turn the I had no idea going. we'll do this now we'll take out one. massive superpow right now and he like. you didn't and you're [ __ ] I don't. know if you got that right I don't.
definitely don't I don't Mari just can't. stop talking all he's just giving did. you take adal or something wasn't the. Battle of curse the one that was like. this kill Tony's going to be sloppy no I. don't think so I think I'm I think I'm. all right how are you feeling I'm a. little wonky yeah in a Rowdy standup. sety I love how he's like riffs on his. girlfriend's Navy CLX no you didn't he a. bit about it I did this for two straight.
years know every word of. this let's wrap this up boys good night. everybody. bye everybody let's go to the Mothership. tonight comedy comedy bye. [Music]. [Applause]. [Music].
