Joe Rogan Experience #1984 - Brian Redban
[Music]. by night. what's going on how you doing good nice. nice space suit you have a nice spacer. whoa cool why did you choose blue I. don't know the silver one's a little. intense yeah it's a sweat box it's weird. or warm they get yeah it's like one of. them um emergency blankets you ever seen. them those little thin silver ones like.
how can that help you yeah I guess it. does somehow maintains Heat. so what's it like being a club owner. what's it like to be a club owner to you. sir. it's weird who would have ever thought I. know that makes no sense well we started. doing this podcast that one day we'd. both be club Owners right next door to. each other that's what's hilarious yeah. and people like do you does it bother. you the Red Band open up a club Three. Doors Down I'm like no it's great it's. great because it's uh you know what it's.
like uh you you have two rooms uh with. like you have your beautiful big boy or. whatever but that to me is the main room. yeah and then your other one I think is. the or and I feel like mine's kind of. like the belly room because it has the. same like you know the same kind of. shows that are in the belly room the. same kind of like the comics are. experimenting with new things over there. so yeah it's it's kind of like the main. three now I always I think it's kind of. cool well we have so many good spots. just on that one street I mean Vulcan is.
just a few doors down Creek in the cave. is just a block away it's crazy it's. like and when you're in town when. different Comics are until like Vos was. at the Vulcan and then he came by did my. club and then you know all these. different people are doing that just. going back and forth it's great yeah. it's awesome yeah I [ __ ] love it yeah. it's it's and I think it's because. there's no major sports teams here right. you know so there's there's music and. comedy are the big things in this town I. think the music uh set everybody up for.
going out to see live shows yeah because. it's like a culture of going to see live. shows in this town that was established. by people going to see music this is so. much [ __ ] Alice Bullard got ripped. off do you see that [ __ ] they're in. South Carolina I think [ __ ] [ __ ]. what happened dirty thieves they stole. yeah the broken nose trailer stole his. guitars amps everything and now he's got. three more shows and no equipment I saw. that so uh is it Ellis Bullard music on. Instagram I think he's gonna put up a uh.
GoFundMe. he's got to go out and buy guitars look. at that oh look at that guitar too [ __ ]. [ __ ] you know that's the kind of guitar. though that when somebody tries to sell. it it'll probably get back to them like. well hopefully because of this we'll. tell everybody but it's uh what is a. 1979 guitar is that what it said a dobro. yeah. bro two telecasters and a custom. [Music]. that couldn't happen to a nicer guy uh.
he's the best. talented as [ __ ] too yeah there it is. 1979 dobro yeah man that's ugly there's. some scumbag musician that'll buy that. knowing it's stolen right. yeah desperate people it sucks yeah. thievery is just so gross it's amazing. how little there is though you know I. was thinking about that the other day. about car accidents people suck at. driving but God it's amazing a few car. accidents there are most people every. day just moving around no car accident. it is weird and you always you have to.
have trust in everybody too like there's. sometimes when you're driving by the. semi and you're like okay I hope you. hope you see me yeah bro it's all phones. people need that Apple carplay it's the. [ __ ] it you don't you can do anything. that you need to do without ever. touching the phone you just say hey Siri. call Red Band bam hey Siri text my Mom. what do you want to say and then you. just say it it's like you can you could. say Hey Siri navigate to and you go. wherever the [ __ ] you need to go you.
don't have to touch anything it's the. best it's a real bummer that Tesla uh. won't do that you won't do that because. they said that theirs is better than. Apple it's not it's one of the worst. things I've ever used they get some. things right and something's really. wrong really wrong is the fob what is it. called it's not called a fob what is it. called uh the [ __ ] the car key thing. that's the stupid handle the yolk oh. it's so dumb yeah it's just no no with. the yolk give me a goddamn steering well.
now you can now you can now they give. you the option you could probably get. yours retrofitted with it back on now. because they now it's an option when you. order a car now can I get the horn in. the center please exactly that's the. dumbest thing ever it's a [ __ ] and. they also sell third-party steering. wheels that actually is a yoke but they. see the one on the bottom right where it. makes it a little bit better that's. actually cool yeah that's third party. they did a nice interior in that car too. yeah the like the interior is like I was. in the interior of um a Porsche electric.
car it's very nice very nice that's the. new one that's another aftermarket but. do they have it as an option can I like. go to Tesla and say hey get rid of this. black ass steering wheel yeah. yeah if when you order just go to. tesla.com and act like you're ordering a. car and one of the options should be a. model S. one of the options is you can get a. steering wheel yeah from what I. understand it's just for driving for. actually like turning and parking it's.
stupid yeah the yoke is stupid it's. funny because when they first uh. when they first uh. very Rick steering wheel yeah you can. choose regularly give me a goddamn. steering wheel yeah when they first. announced it though I was like that's. the coolest thing ever I want that so. bad but just like the little thing I'm. not putting the horn in the middle and. the turn signals it looks like the horn. no no the horns back in the middle yeah. yeah definitely yeah that's what I need. Elon why would why wouldn't you put the.
horn in the middle are you sure yeah. look what I'm seeing is when I change it. from yolk the buttons all stay the same. it's just the outside stuff yeah because. the you the new yoke has the horn in the. center as well oh that does yeah okay. yeah yeah they fixed it the mine doesn't. yeah it sucks the dumbest some guy cut. in front of me and I was like Jesus. buddy just looking for the in the turn. signal do you constantly hit the turn. signal oh it's always wrong so. accidentally hit left right this is the.
the the stalk is the way to go yeah it's. so easy it never gets in the way there's. nothing back there right your hands are. never back there so it just go dude left. right we know how to do it it's perfect. yeah there's even that second stock that. I even forget that that's even there. sometimes because I didn't even see it. yeah the one in behind this left stock. well that's the adjuster right right. yeah but there's like a whole thing. there you never see you know in doing. everything on the screen it to make. things simple they make things way more.
complicated like if you have to adjust. your mirrors Jesus Christ right you got. to get in there and and then lift for. the left and lift for the right. stop you're making me think too much. when my car I don't even have to look at. it yeah I just reach over I press the. button and I can adjust it I just do it. real quick easy it's better physical. buttons are better always always slide. to reverse the worst is when the car has. their volume knob and adjustments on the.
screen oh you're terrible am I touching. up you want to be able to do it where. you can keep looking at the road just. reach over grab the knob turn it to the. left turn to the right you know volume. we know how to do it temperature Easy. Button yeah button go high button go low. come on just make the buttons look. sexier yeah prettier portion doesn't do. it yeah Porsche's got all buttons they. figured it out I looked in their. interior I'm like that's a better. interior they know how to do it they've.
been doing cars forever everybody tries. to like reinvent the wheel yeah some. parts like blinkers click click click. click keep it like that don't be putting. on the steering wheel like an [ __ ]. and companies are coming back to it also. look at the latest MacBook Pros They're. bringing back the SD card reader They're. bringing back all the ports that they. got rid of you know yeah but then you. hear these rumors that the iPhone is. going to get rid of buttons and it's you. know it's going to have zero buttons the. whole thing is what disturbs me is going. to all wireless charging like why are. you doing that you know it's slower that.
doesn't make any sense like just making. that everyone has to have a wireless. Port somewhere everyone has cords man. keep the cords just go to USBC see that. I saw Lou post this yesterday it's like. uh the new prototype yeah who knows if. the South's gonna be it's going to have. the new USBC Port which is the deal this. is the ultra yeah it's basically the. same but I guess that's like the ultra. watch I think probably with the titanium. so what is maybe different the screen. border is uh a lot smaller uh it has a.
USB SC Port now. um and the volume rocker is not it's not. two buttons anymore it's one long button. um and the mute button the the clicky. switch to mute that never works is now a. button that's going to be used for like. an action button I guess so how will you. mute it now you probably hold that down. for a second or so that makes sense yeah. look at this top comment I will never. use an iPhone Android people are.
hilarious they are so in a cult they. really don't like they're we're Against. the Machine Man literally your phone is. used by More Humans than any other phone. on Earth I send them photos to a group. chat last night and half a second group. chat without the Android person so they. can get the photos uncompressed and they. look good because in that group chat. they're all [ __ ] they can't see the. photos I don't know if you know that oh. oh if you have an Android person in your. iPhone group chat they get the photos.
good that Android will get them but. everybody I really I find will not get. them good why oh because it compresses. and then it goes to everybody else you. have to like leave them out make a new. group chat be like sorry but is that why. it always says like uh message failed to. send and then I'll send it like 10 more. times and people are like why is he. sending me this 10 times because it. keeps on saying it failed yeah so it's. like if you text message from an iPhone. it's inferior with if you text message. an image which texts.
stop trying to talk [ __ ] on my Androids. but that's why they'll see it perfectly. fine and be like what are you talking. about I see it looks great on my phone. look I'll send you photos but it gets. compressed to the iPhone yeah when it. goes from that Android to the network. again it'll be dog [ __ ] on those [ __ ]. Androids or on iPhones I'm sorry. especially video especially video that. it's very frustrating that you can't. just go back and forth that they've. created this Walled Garden with Apple. because like one thing that Android does. that's really good is they're always the. first with like foldables they're the.
First with crazy zoom lenses they're the. First with they they figure out. everything first they have way better. screen real estate there's much more. screen to an Android phone than there is. to an iPhone you know that stupid. [ __ ] what is that thing in the top. that nobody really cares about right the. Island the island yeah. I was using that Island Android has. better fake moons yeah do you think I'm. so busted with that fake boom you can't. sneak things past the internet yeah when.
those guys figured out that you could. take a blurry photo and put it up on a. laptop and then zoom in on it and your. your phone will make it look perfect and. I always wondered about that because. when you got the Galaxy S21 you sent me. a phone a moon photo and I was like holy. [ __ ] and I it made me want one so bad. you sent me that it was pretty cool but. now I feel like a loser. what are they saying it is because it's.
clear it's clearly whatever that process. is it's not a photograph no it's like AI. it's pretty much it knows what the the. Moon looks like and it it uses yours as. a reference to find what angle you are. at and then it just kind of fills in the. gaps so stupid it's not a photo it's not. a photo that's not a photo like how do. they not get in trouble with that that. seems like that's a real like violation. of trust I think it is in the writing.
somewhere people found out somewhere. that it is in like the terms somewhere. yeah what was their excuse was Samsung's. excuse. I don't know what the [ __ ] you guys are. talking about their response was very. Bud Lighty you should. dude has there ever been a business ever. in the history of businesses that got.
hit with a boycott like Bud Light did. who [ __ ] saw that coming who saw that. coming. I mean he fired two CEOs right yeah. that's crazy. they're down something like 21. which is wild. that's so much man. like there's bars that refuse to sell it. that's ridiculous there's bars that. refuse to sell it because it's causing. fights because if people drink it guys.
will [ __ ] with them totally which you. totally could see some [ __ ] in a bar. bro drinking a Bud Light you wearing a. [ __ ] skirt bro. you support Dylan mulverney. who. yeah I could see that a lot of 100 I can. see that happen that's a Surefire. scenario and some more on bar yeah. you're drinking a Bud Light. Miller Lite and all the other beers need. to like jump on this heart and just have.
like bikini beard commercials like. non-stop right now dogs tits and guns. hunting and. yeah the problem is like light beer is a. true alcoholic beer because it's it's. something you could drink all day long. that's like a guy who just likes to work. on Transmissions he's just back in the. backyard just drinking Bud Light yeah. all day long I stopped beer I used to. only drink beer and I haven't I'll have. a beer once a year maybe but I I just.
stopped drinking beer tequila is better. yep tequila seems to be the best in. terms of like how you feel afterwards oh. yeah and all of its poison oh alcoholics. absolutely but. tequila seems to be the best poison like. your body absorbs it the best the better. there's no really hangovers as much with. that also yeah now when I drink whiskey. if we would drink a tequila a lot lately. now when I drink whiskey I'm like yep. tequila press you ever have that that's. uh that's uh it's tequila with soda and.
a splash of sprite it's it's just it's. it's great. I just like the taste of tequila I don't. like I mean I'll drink stuff like at the. bar downstairs we always have those wild. Childs those are good they're tasty but. I like I like booze to taste like booze. I like to know what I'm getting into. yeah like this. smell the [ __ ] evilness in it. I don't I mix my [ __ ] with like Kool-Aid. and stuff like that yeah you gotta Prime.
yeah this is [ __ ] this is like the most. sugary drink that doesn't have sugar in. it what are they using for uh of. sweetener uh I don't know I haven't had. the hydration one but I had the energy. drink one it was pretty good yeah I mean. they taste amazing but they also taste. like like Kool-Aid for like with three. times the sugar in it really so it's. really good I mix this with like vodka. and stuff it's a good mixer but. yeah it's too much it's too strong well. that hydration Market all of a sudden. everyone's realizing they're not.
hydrated. yeah. some products on now and all those. hydration products uh the sodium content. in those are out of the control I don't. know if you ever looked at like just. like one of the hydration products. sodium levels because I've been drinking. like two or three of these thinking I'm. drinking water like doing good for my. body but then you look at the sodium. levels like 1 000 milligrams or you're. like I don't necessarily think sodium in. and of itself is bad for you no no I.
think that's the electrolytes and stuff. they're adding yeah some of that you. want yeah you want some particularly if. you're exercising like if that's an. athletic drink then you definitely want. some sodium you want all kinds of stuff. this only has 10 so that's not bad at. all I don't think so I think that's one. of those things where there's like a lot. of common misconceptions like salts like. people worried about salt bad for you. Salt's an essential mineral like you. actually need salt like it's I don't. necessarily think Salt's bad for you I. think we've got a lot of wives Tails.
floating around and people you know had. some information at one point in time. that seemed to link sodium to certain. diseases but now I don't think they. think that anymore let's let's find like. is sodium bad for you like sodium and. sports drinks yeah Joey Diaz used to. always sodium yeah but that's just Joey. monosodium glutamate. I heard that there was a salt that was. bad for you this was another one of. those Tales like Himalayan salt or pink.
salt is really found out there's. something bad in it now really yeah I I. might be wrong but. I thought that was supposed to be the. salt that's exactly yeah that might I. think it's like brown rice maybe it's. because they're not getting it all from. there and they're saying it's that oh. that's right oh like they're getting. some [ __ ] salt but yeah they're like. saying it's that it's just I don't know. yeah dirtied mine pouring Kool-Aid on it. right turn it pink. sodium and Sport how what am I looking.
like how much or yeah is sodium bad for. you Google is sodium bad for you well. yeah I think it's like everything else. is the quick answer it says I should. probably ask chat your body needs a. small amount of sodium to work properly. but too much sodium can be bad for your. health diets higher in sodium are. associated with the increased risk of. developing high blood pressure which is. a major cause of stroke and heart. disease you know the problem with that. is diets high in sodium those people are. probably overeating too.
who is that Source FDA FDA yes you can't. trust them they're bought out by the. pharmaceutical companies. they are [ __ ]. do you know what's Wild when you see. um have you ever seen like different. people that were the head of the FDA and. then where they go after they leave yeah. they're major corporations it's always. they go straight to drug companies that. should be illegal that seems insane that. seems insane that you you literally.
could be the regulatory body that helps. these pharmaceutical drug companies and. then join them. and get millions of dollars my. girlfriend just went to an allergy. person where she had to get like a. thousand shots and find out what she's. allergic to and she's allergic to. everything and they she doesn't have. insurance so they uh and they she went. to the doctor and they were like okay. we'll work with you not having insurance. and they finally prescribed her her pill. and it was like 1200 a pill or something.
like that like she went to go pick up. her prescription and it was thousands of. dollars and she had to do it like every. two weeks to get it filled up look at. how would you ever like one pill is a. thousand bucks for allergies yes I I. wish I knew what it was but like. it was the most ridiculous thing ever. like how would you expect anyone to pay. for this and you have these pills at HEB. right now like that's what that Martin. shkreli guy whatever his name was that's.
what he got in trouble for right jacking. up the yes yeah so what's uh what's the. story with the Sodium uh so I got. answered from Chad GPT it basically. started off saying the same thing but. down here it gives you like a. recommended okay sodium is an essential. nutrient the body needs in small amounts. to function properly it helps maintain. the balance of fluids in the body and. supports nerve and muscle function and. helps regulate blood pressure however. consuming too much sodium can have. negative health effects the most common. concern with consuming too much sodium. is that it can increase blood pressure. which can lead to higher risk of heart.
disease and stroke high sodium intake. can also increase the risk of developing. kidney issues and osteoporosis. recommended daily intake of sodium. varies depending on age sex and other. factors but in general adults should aim. to consume no more than 2 300 milligrams. of sodium per day that much. you know foods that are high in sodium. include processed and packaged Foods. fast food salty for snacks see that's my. point it's like all that stuff like it's.
associated with it but is it causal. right is that what's causing it because. the thing about people with high sodium. diets is that usually their diet is. [ __ ] they're just eating all kinds. of crap like if you have regular food. like healthy food but you put salt on it. is that bad because I'm I'm betting it's. not that bad I'm betting whatever the. [ __ ] is in the other stuff is what's. getting you you know it's like whenever. they do those uh epidemiology studies. where they study like your your diet.
based on like a um you fill out a form. like how many times a week do you eat. meat how many times how much cancer you. have and then they like pull all that. information together and they go meat is. associated with cancer well it's like. what else you eating are you eating. grass-fed steaks are you eating some. shitty Burger that's. in a [ __ ] processed bun with some. goofy ass Mayo with salt or in sugar all. over it and fries and shakes like how do.
we know it's the meat. you're it sounds like your diet's. [ __ ] like there's like so many. people have [ __ ] diets yeah that. said like salt can kill you like if you. like eat a pound of salt you're [ __ ]. dead as [ __ ]. they used to think MSG was like this. horrible monster and people are still. anymore huh I don't think they think. it's bad anymore right it's not bad. anymore yeah monosodium glutamate used. to be the devil right and there was a. reason for it and it was something. really stupid it was like like.
legalization of marijuana is stupid like. really it was never bad for you I forget. what it was. always told me it wasn't bad for you. it's like no it's essential it makes. food taste way better especially like. that kind of old school East Coast. Chinese food with monosodium glutamate. it was the best yeah the best it's. delicious the best put in more MSG just. don't eat it every day. for imitation crab do you know imitation. crab is actually really good like have.
you ever seen those imitation crab legs. at the grocery store and they look real. but it says imitation it's it tastes. exactly like crab legs but what's in. there it's just fish yoga mats it's just. yeah that's what I thought I thought it. was just like yoga mats and like like. wheat or something no it's fish it's. just a different kind of fish. oh Alaskan pollock okay and it made. ingredient Pollock tastes good though. oh wheat that's it wait it is wheat and. egg white yeah binding ingredients yeah.
that's why because uh one of my kids. cannot have uh imitation crab meat. because of that holy [ __ ] there was. wheat in it for real. but you get some like hot butter those. things are just it's amazing look at. that word. transglutaminase. enzymes. that's a coagulation binding agent. oh that [ __ ] ain't good right just just.
eat the regular Pollock. with not doesn't have wheat [ __ ]. binding agents in it but it tastes good. it tastes exactly the same yeah like if. you get like uh there's certain Chinese. food they give you a fake fake crab. sushi some sushi has it also it's good. though tasty but it is wheat you're. eating a lot of wheat it is crazy that. there's wheat in there I was just joking. about having a pizza. it makes sense because it's like dough. you know they have to take all that fish. meat and just smash it into a shape.
there's a chef in New York at a. restaurant that used uh transglutaminase. treated shrimp and made pasta out of it. this is pasta made from 95 shrimp wow. sounds interesting I mean we have those. like uh. like I've seen chicken. like pizza like as the bread kind of you. know they do it cauliflower yeah I've. never seen it done with chicken the. avant-garde restaurant wd-50 is chicken. made with that stuff it's probably the.
same thing huh meat glue meat glue. never mind. it's meat glue I wonder how that feels. going through your colon. uh I found this place that's up where I. live and it's called Taco Casa and uh I. went to it once and it was like holy. [ __ ] this is the best white shitty tacos. I've ever seen you know like white. people tacos like your parents used to. make found out that back in the 60s this.
guy was friends with the creator of Taco. Bell and he had a couple franchises and. then that guy that owned Taco Bell sold. the company to Pepsi in like the 80s or. so and the guy that had like all that. was friends with him had all these uh. his own Taco Bell restaurants and he's. like [ __ ] Pepsi you know I'm just gonna. rename my uh franchises to Taco Casa but. keep the exact same menu that Taco Bell. has and all the ingredients Pepsi then.
changed all the uh the recipes for Taco. Bell and that's why Taco Bell when. you're a kid seemed like it tasted. better and everything was better it's. because they changed all their meats and. they changed all their ingredients Taco. Casa is Taco Bell from the 60s 70s with. the original menu items it even has the. color scheme as the old advertising of. Taco Bell really yeah and you go in. there and you're like holy [ __ ] this is. the best tacos ever and it's just Taco. Bell from the 60s and it is amazing wow.
highly recommend and they're fans of you. uh they uh because I always Instagram. and tag them and stuff place it that's. crazy it's weird that's kind of cool. like if there was a McDonald's you could. go to that was a real McDonald's from. the 50s where they cooked all their. fries and be fat yep exactly the same. yeah. I just got it again for the first time. recently maybe three years McDonald's. the Big Mac was so [ __ ] small yeah oh. they're all small now it was the small.
it was like a regular burger size. everything's smaller now yeah the the. quarter pounder is the only good meat at. McDonald's also because that's the only. one that's not frozen so if you want a. Big Mac you ask for a Big Mac with. Quarter Pounder meat. that's the way to do it. um oh yeah I guess they well they did do. this but still it was so small like they. made a bigger Mac at one point but it. was a [ __ ] it was so tiny really yeah it. wasn't filling at all it was like five. bites and the whole [ __ ] thing was. gone well Whopper also I don't know if.
you've had a Whopper lately they're. smaller it's it's just [ __ ] it's. like it doesn't even have that that you. know how it used to taste like smoke and. everything yeah flame bro I don't have. that anymore and I guess Burger King. just uh announced their closing like. like 250 stores like they're on the way. out I think how do you gonna [ __ ] with. in and out. I had it last night you can't you can't. you can't like there's a reason why that. has a giant ass line not where I live. there's you just walk right up to the. counter there's not one car in the.
drive-through it's the most amazing. thing ever I shouldn't tell people about. it I know I'm [ __ ] up if there was a. Five Guys near me I'd pick that that's. my favorite that's right next door to. Five Guys they're the best yeah I think. that's the best because you can get. jalapenos and bacon and they're so. expensive though that's ridiculous one. Burger's like 13 I guess it's not fast. food though you have that's what you. have to tell yourself yeah yeah they're. cooking in front of you. fries are better they have the cajun. fries and a DC burger after talking to.
him they're using awesome meat that like. you can't get everywhere else yeah. they're using wagyu ground beef it's so. fatty yes that's why it's so good it's. so good yeah those nadc Burgers it's. like it's hard to [ __ ] with that. but golden tiger is pretty goddamn good. too yeah you still have to wait a while. that place is the bomb diggity. yeah a good it's funny how like thick. Burgers used to be the thing but a Smash. Burger is better than a thick Burger I. agree double Patty Smash Burger that's.
the crispy ends and stuff like that you. know yeah that's the way to go I just. love when you get a guy like Philip. who's a Michelin star Chef who just. concentrates on making the best. cheeseburger with American cheese like. that's the idea yeah and he's like. American cheese is the proper cheese for. a cheeseburger like this for a proper. Smash Burger I wish you would tackle. pizza I want to see his take on Pizza. yeah. right flat Pizza what would it be what.
kind of style would it be. does Austin have good pizza is there one. place that has like really good pizza. there's one place up by me called uh San. Giovanni's or something like that it's a. Distillery during the week uh vodka. distillery and then on Friday and. Saturdays they have a legit Pizza Oven. uh in the pizza and it's so amazing have. you had good pizza out here it's a hit. or miss that's not I mean Ohio pizza is. what we grew up on yeah so we have very. high standards for it.
it's so true. this place that I went to in the Bronx. that the Italian deli that made us a. sandwich GNR Deli that place if they. moved out here that they would make a. [ __ ] killing if you had a place like. that that made sandwiches like that out. here Pepper Place. stuff yeah it's important oh okay it's. all important from Italy then yeah [ __ ]. I mean how what would be the difference. I think it's important to hear the thing. they've always said like we were in. California it's like it's the water the.
water sucks out here that's why you. can't get the right dough and it's like. I don't know if that's really it in Ohio. a lot of it's the oven like they've made. these ovens they don't use everywhere. else kind of like that was always the. thing about California that the water in. California sucks that's why the bagels. suck right right everyone always said. that I mean maybe can't you just ship. water like how much water do you need. yeah you know like is this prohibitively. expensive it's impossible to do like. what is wrong I don't know it doesn't. make sense I feel like I've heard it. busted like a myth busted but yeah maybe. it is but what do you think is in water.
other than water that would make your. pizza well the thing that makes sense as. I'm saying it out loud now is the yeast. because that's in the air isn't it is it. not wouldn't that come from like the. environment yeast is like well it's a. fungus right yeah or spores that changes. the dough yeah right right like they'll. have different yeast because of. different water what would be the. content into the water that's the. question it's like water's not a mystery. you know water is not like some strange. compound from another planet that we. have to analyze like we kind of know.
what's in water it's H2O so and minerals. right so can you add minerals that would. sort of recreate whatever the minerals. yeah you should be able to increase a. little bit of rat hair in there. a little bit of [ __ ] ssris floating. into the we're gonna open a bagel shop. yeah sounds like pizza pizza's the move. pizza and bagels we need like a real. legit pizza place here maybe there's one. we don't know of yet I've I sampled them. frequently yeah if not once or twice a. week yeah.
well I did ask him so the place he went. to I'd never heard of it's called like. samaturo or something like that I've had. it now and it's pretty good it's just. it's not my style of pizza I don't think. it's his style of pizza either right. it's a little more uh. if it's way too nice kind of it's really. kind of thick bready uh crust he likes. more like a New York style crust like. New Haven Connecticut Pizza yeah he. hasn't found a good one here in Austin. and then like last week he said that. Houston is the worst city in the that. he's ever been to for pizza really so.
it's all on where the guineas go yeah. you know if the Italians go to you know. California they'd have great pizza out. there and some of them did there's. there's some good pizza in California. oh regardless of whatever he says but. the bread does taste different bread in. New York really does taste different. Italian bread from New York tastes. better. it's like there's something missing when. you get bread in California like there's. something wrong with it just something. just like an imitation like it's pretty. good but it's missing something.
maybe it's easy I'm gonna google and see. if there's a quick answer well you know. like there's like where Cuban cigars are. grown it's a very small area where they. grow the best cigars it's very small and. they Supply them to the whole world so I. was just explaining to me oh Bill Burr. was explaining to me how um. most of the cigars that people buy when. they they buy Cuban cigars are frauds. yeah okay it just happened to him a. bunch of firemen gave him like uh like. 25 uh Cuban cigars and he was like I got.
these cigars and then like a week later. he said on his podcast that he found out. they were all fake how do you find out. you know get them genetically tested. yeah how do you know. yeah but it makes sense because it's a. small area this area in Cuba where they. grow the best cigars it's not that big. and they supplies the best cigars to the. whole world. it's weird that like soil can affect. stuff so much. like this the mineral content that's the.
100 article I'm reading right now it's. talking about how they changed the what. they're putting in the soil to grow. wheat and whatnot that. makes the air better but makes the food. not as good well this throws off. everything because La has the worst air. ever so right less acid rain is good for. the environment but potentially bad for. bread but I don't think they're growing. the bread in California is the problem. so yeah. the Wonder Bread factories aren't out. there Wonder Bread is that even bread oh. it's so good it's so good Wonder Bread. with peanut butter and jelly is about as.
like is that food or is that dessert. yeah that's a squishy sandwich Sunday. night it might be just it's more dessert. than it is food like a Wonder Bread. peanut butter and jelly sandwich it's. Wonder Bread grilled cheese sensation oh. yes Sensational I agree but is it really. bread no that's more like a pastry right. it's a pastry pastry but I I just. recently went back to white bread just. because I accidentally bought it once. and it was so amazing like that peanut. butter jelly it's so much better when. it's just shitty white bread yeah like.
if you're gonna eat peanut butter and. jelly peanut butter and jelly is not. good for you anyway let's stop playing. games right I have it on a piece of. white bread it's not good for you but I. also don't feel bad when I eat it for. some reason you know when we were in New. York we stopped at Katz's Deli three. o'clock in the morning had a Reuben oh. my God it was Sensational yeah it's that. high it's just oozing with sauerkraut. and David do you think that's. unnecessary though like you don't have. to have that [ __ ] communist.
yeah that's just crazy it's amazing look. it was so good dude wow it was so good. and it's just the fact that it's the. same place every time you go back this. guy that we've been going to every time. we go to this one meat cutter like the. way uh canters works or excuse me the. way uh Katz's Works cancer is my. favorite spot in your life but the way. cats is works you get a ticket when you. walk in and then you get a bunch of. things punched on the ticket then you. pay on the way out the door well when.
you walk up to the the meat cutter then. you give the guy your ticket tell him. what you want he writes down the ticket. he gives you a little slice of pastrami. to try and. this guy's been the same guy we've been. going to for a decade and finally we had. a conversation with him and he goes I'm. celebrating 33 years here I'm like 33. years when he started there when he was. a kid wow yeah what a life could you. imagine your whole life working at the. same like food place probably long ass. hours too that's the place that's so.
crazy it's classic nice it's so classic. and it's been the same interior since. like you know the [ __ ] early 1900s. it's just an amazing place. it's a real like New York staple and all. those guys that are working behind the. counter the the meat Cutters if you see. the meat Cutters in there yeah those. guys are all like classic New York. characters. I could already imagine what they look. like yeah oh it's not a picture of them.
it's just the food and people eating. there. whatever it's awesome. old spots like that of the [ __ ] there's. just been there's something about old. places like that's one of the things. about uh the club that we have it's. there's something about that old ass. building it's amazing that building's. got like a personality I was watching a. documentary about that place your place. a couple weeks ago when it was still a. movie theater and like they were in the. projection room and I guess that. projection room would be where around.
where the Green Room is yeah yeah and so. it was really cool seeing it and seeing. the differences and stuff one thing did. you guys put in the spaceship when you. walk into the lobby or was that already. there yeah we put that in well it's. weird because I just played the other. Almo theater the other day they have an. amazing little room in there and they. have almost an exact replica of that. spaceship uh on the second floor like. that it's crashed right or you know it's. like the the round the rounds oh yes. it's because uh is that's Richard too.
right is that Richard wise did he design. that I believe he did recycling. oh it did because it's like it's so. familiar to you that's because that's. the recreation of the Close Encounters. of the Third con scene which is amazing. scene remember that scene see if you can. find that scene I [ __ ] love it that's. a good scene God damn that was good when. that big UFO just showed up and it was. near Devil's Tower and took people. aboard and Aliens got out the mothership. that's what it was yeah yeah.
so when um we started wow look at that. oh give me some volume because it. [Music]. is. [Music]. six Quavers then pause. [Music].
a group of five. [Music]. thank you this is such a good movie. [Music]. foreign. [Music]. [Music].
why would they play the tuba though if. you're an alien it would I think if they. were to make that movie today it would. be like very synthetic sounds like EDM. or something yeah for sure even be like. trumpets back then they never predicted. DDM the closest they had was disco yeah. it was kind of edmish yeah a bit better.
that [ __ ] movie was definitely sound. like Skrillex. keyboards and piano I wonder why they. decided to do it this way to have. language be communicated through music. and lights yeah. that's the 70s yeah it's the 70s man. they didn't know any better. isn't it funny that even in today's. science fiction movies no one's on their. phone yeah. I want there's a article I read about.
that I wonder if it's true they said. it's not interesting to watch people on. their phone so they just definitely not. but it's also not realistic to not have. people on their phones I can visit a. movie or is it on a movie you know. that's true only TV shows people are on. their phones I just rewatched the Top. Gun the other day have you seen the. original Top Gun in a while that doesn't. really hold up very well man there's a. part where he's hitting on a girl and. then he finds out that the girls with. the got her husband or wife or boyfriend. or something like that and so then she. he just starts watching her and she goes.
to the bathroom and he follows her into. the bathroom and starts talking about. how he wants to [ __ ] her on the sink and. it's just like holy how creepy Tom. Cruise is just going into women's. restrooms and then talking about [ __ ]. her on a sink and [ __ ] wow like it was. weird it was one of those movies my. girlfriend so young she hasn't seen so. I've been like oh you got to see Top Gun. and halfway through she's like this is. the cheesiest movie I've ever seen in my. life I'm like yeah it is those are the. cocaine days they were doing cocaine in. writing yeah you know that's like the.
show Girls days oh yeah for sure. Showgirls is the best okay movie of all. time she's with her husband herself he's. like oh he's drinking his Bud Light by. the way he's a regular Budweiser oh and. he goes into the ladies room and he's. gonna follow her oh my God give me some. volume on this. matter he just met her. what you want to do just drop right down.
on the tile and go for it. counter in line. okay that would be very very comfortable. yeah it could be. actually I came in here to save you from. guy. really. so I could go onto a bigger one with a. young guy like yourself.
no swimming sucks. and this is the woman's restroom he just. met her two minutes before before this. this is so weird. it's so weird that she's not get the. [ __ ] out of here you creep and then. other women aren't in there [ __ ]. yeah you know like the whole thing is. just like what the [ __ ]. kind of writing is this and she went. into the bathroom just to like like look. at her lip or something like she didn't. even do anything in the bathroom if you.
noticed I just want to reapply reapply. makeup. yeah the writer strikes happening right. now right so are all those late night. talk shows [ __ ] there's like things. are showing reruns and stuff yeah yeah. that's hilarious they can't operate. without writers. I would just do the AI I'd be like how. about just interview people yeah exactly. you don't you have to have writers did. you see the South Park episode they did. with that no they think they had chat. gbt right an episode oh they did at the. end it says like co-written by Trace.
Parker and shot GPT oh no it might have. been a joke making a joke about the. whole thing or we might have actually. yeah. you could have Chad gbt rental on a. monologue for Jimmy Fallon oh yeah. come on that would be easy. you should do uh you should type in the. chat gbt make a romantic story uh. summary uh between Joe Rogan and Jamie. that would be easy do it Jake doesn't. know who I am I've tried oh really it's. sort of yeah it made up three people.
asked who worked on the show before it. made up three names Michio Kaku had a. very good point he's like it doesn't it. scours the entire internet so it's like. people write nonsense yeah and lies it. Scoops up those nonsense and lies and. throws it in there too like it can't. discern. but it will be able to eventually. supposedly I heard that there's people. that work behind the scenes on like Chad. gbt and they're just like uh minimum. wage like McDonald's workers what yeah. there was an article that just came out. yesterday about uh chat gbt uh employs.
people to forget what they do but they. kind of like fact checked or label uh. the responses and they end up they're. only paying getting paid like 15 an hour. or something like this was the uh this. might not be the same article but I. think this is how they were using it to. program it maybe open aiu's Kenyan. workers for less than two dollars per. hour to make chap GPT less toxic. less toxic. yeah there used to be a service a while. ago a long time ago I forget what it's. called but people you would ask a.
question and people would do that they. would answer for you and then respond. sort of like Cha-Cha or some [ __ ] like. that there's there's something super. creepy. about the fact that it's become totally. normal for companies to use. people in other countries that make. almost no money to make things that they. sell for thousands of dollars like. iPhones yeah it's so weird it's so weird. that no one has shifted to manufacturing. something like an iPhone in America no.
one has shifted to manufacturing all. these things you see these [ __ ]. creepy places where they're digging. minerals out of the ground to make your. phone like wow. one just one company one company make. everything here pay everybody well make. everything make me not feel like [ __ ]. for buying a phone I've tried to like. find is there a phone you can buy that's. the most ethical phone yeah not really. not unless you want a [ __ ] cord. plugged into the wall right.
look what's the most ethical phone. yeah there used to be another one Fair. phone is that like one there you see. that one aren't they whack though the. problem is they can't compete yeah you. also have to use Android. yeah I'll never use an iPhone is there. anybody that's more in a call than the. Android people. talking to Brian Simpson I would have to. agree with that. I work on himself oh you work on him. yeah. just get him an Apple Watch do it 100.
just to [ __ ] right through it. I'm like come on bro come over to the. blue uh no you don't want to send green. text anymore he's like well when they. come up with a USBC maybe I'll do it I. thought we'd have to change all my. Chargers like oh yeah that's the time. that's the time you'll never go back. like once you airdrop someone of a video. in like five seconds and you realize. like oh this is like perfect resolution. it went through Bluetooth I don't even. have to have Wi-Fi on oh great that's.
the best Bluetooth airdrop is the [ __ ]. yeah and the fact that they can't share. back and forth with Android that alone. keeps me from you know I mean how many. times do we take photos and just air. drop into each other yeah it's airdrop's. amazing it's amazing I use it all the. time to do it to my computer but oh did. you they just announced yesterday that. they're bringing Final Cut Pro and logic. to the iPad which is insane like you. could edit prores video on an iPad now.
while the processing power's so good now. yeah it's crazy that that thin little. thing has amazing battery life crazy. processing power Final Cut Pro on an. iMac yeah or on a um iPad but the bad. thing is I think about like you know. when I edit kill Tony and you know all. that stuff there's no way that that has. enough storage space on that iPad to do. all that they have a terabyte yeah. I guess one's two maybe maybe and I. don't know if you can plug a if plug.
just put it on the cloud Brian no put. everything in the cloud we'll take care. of you up here. now now come on all your dick pics. no instead I have a closet of hundreds. of hard drives number of ways to take. them to the range and shoot them yeah. that was fun dude that was a lot of fun. I need to do that again I need to still. need to get a gun I'm going tomorrow oh. yeah. let's go shoot guns yeah. yeah what kind of gun you want I'll get.
you a gun I I was thinking a Glock like. it's 17 or Glock 19. there's a [ __ ]. John Wick gun I said John wicker do you. guys see a badass gun I don't really. like guns that much but that gun looked. [ __ ] sweet the pistol you mean yeah. yeah I got one of those what is it. Terran tactical. sweets Instagram oh I want to see what. that is it's a 211. and why is it when. girls shoot guns at gun ranges they're. always hot as [ __ ] like like they're. like touch this on Instagram if you go.
to the place where I go there's some. Burly ladies okay there's some uh Stout. women yeah there's also the shotgun yeah. that's the Glock that's the 34. so. that's the uh he take what what Taran. tactical does that's the pit viper. that's the one that I have that's the. issue that looks great that is the. smoothest flattest shooting gun that. thing is so nice. in action not no spoiler alert but the. shotgun in the movie was cool yeah I.
can't wait to see the movie it comes out. on streaming sometime in June apparently. so I'll wait yeah. dude I didn't even see Avatar yet oh. Avatar I Saw You Avatar in the movie. theater I took my kids though we were on. vacation and went to see it it was great. yeah it's great we didn't even see it in. IMAX we didn't see it 3D it was awesome. wow those movies are great it just sucks. it takes them 15 years to make one but. he's on the process of uh they filmed a.
bunch in a row right yeah there's. another one coming out like a year or. two or something like that I thought. yeah I thought he didn't want the kids. to age weirdly he's a crazy [ __ ] that. James Cameron but he knocks it out of. the park. you see the Mario movie no was it good I. heard it was fun it's a fun movie. anything that's in the movie theater I'm. not saying yeah I wait till it gets on. streaming it's not that long yeah I can. wait a few months there's plenty of [ __ ]. to watch me too are you watching. succession no do you watch anything I. don't watch any of those [ __ ] I watched. uh that new Asian show with uh uh.
Margaret beef yeah yeah that David show. David show yeah that's amazing yeah it's. [ __ ] great it's easy to watch it's uh. the characters are all awesome David's. awesome in it yeah I've heard it's. really good yeah Dave is this [ __ ] I. love that dude he's so nuts yeah he's. great man he said he was thinking about. moving here last time yeah it was to. move here yeah. yeah I brought him to the club and. toured him around he's like God damn my.
cat's Paradise yeah. he grilled my girlfriend because she's. Asian he goes yeah who I want to talk. about yeah yeah is this good for an. Asian place he's like where can I get. real [ __ ] kimchi real [ __ ] dirty. you know buried in the backyard kimchi. he loves that kimchi yeah kimchi and. meat what a [ __ ] great combo that is. elk meat and kimchi I've never had elk. meat and kimchi but I love it have you. had Alchemy before uh just that one time. you gave me some it was amazing did you.
cook it or did I cook it I think you. cooked it for me I brought it that would. have everybody over for a barbecue it's. getting hot we should do a [ __ ]. daytime Comics barbecue at my place yeah. that'll be fun you know who can cook. Donald Rawlings yeah Donnell can cook he. can really cook like I haven't. experienced it perfectly but I've seen. some of the photo uh personally rather. but I've seen some of the photos and. Dave talks about he's like he can. [ __ ] cook like really barbecue you. know [ __ ] like he gets like real intense. about it too [ __ ] I'm like okay.
I believe you I believe you he's. hilarious yeah we should do that we. should have like a comedian's barbecue. that's what I want to do one of these. days the the ultimate goal for the. podcast is a ranch. to have a ranch we can go and [ __ ]. launch missiles and drive ATVs and have. a pond to fish in and I want to have an. outdoor Amphitheater I want to have like. a place where we can go and we can do. all kinds of wild [ __ ] like not just sit.
down and have a podcast but like have a. podcast on a fishing boat have a pot you. know like just [ __ ] around have some fun. that sounds awesome yeah. we need to [ __ ] around more. yeah like we're getting older Brian not. much time left I failed my eye test at. the DMV the other day did you really. yeah oh no so getting your license out. here or getting anything done with the. DMV out here is completely insane you. have to get your car inspected every. year even if it's brand new even if it's.
electric there's all these extra things. and the DMV was no different I had to. like do all this stuff and finally I get. down to the eye exam test he's like all. right read the bottom line and I. couldn't [ __ ] read it I said like and. he goes there's no numbers in this and. I'm like oh [ __ ] because I was like one. five H you know you would just blurry. yeah and he goes do you have glasses and. I'm like yeah I have glasses at home but. they're not that powerful when he goes. you have to go home and get them so he. made me drive all the way home like 30. minutes and come all the way back and. then I put on the glasses and this other.
guy takes out this other piece of paper. and doesn't make me read the bottom. makes me read the middle and he goes I'm. like oh I just have to read middle and. he's like yeah and I passed immediately. and I was like wait why did this guy. make me read like the very bottom from. like he doesn't like you yeah and he's a. kill Tony fan he's mad at you yeah maybe. he's on the Reddit Forum. yeah the um the regulations out here for. that are a little stricter it is weird. I hate the inspection thing because they. look at your tent they look at.
everything yeah it's okay that doesn't. bother me that much yeah there's it's. it's weird how much more free you are. with other stuff though. like even in the city of Austin like. getting the club open was a breeze. one I mean there was like some stuff we. had to go through but everybody was. really Pleasant to deal with no problems. yeah. they're like people are excited that. comedy's here that's one of the cool. things about it it's like the the town. itself like I met the mayor the other. day he's cool as [ __ ]. and uh they're all excited that we're.
here it's fun it's great it's like it's. a new thing you know to have like a. whole comedy community to set up shop. you know like literally like a giant. chunk of the comedy stores here just. setting up shop holtzman's here now my. my favorite thing is every week like. who's in town this week it's like it's. kind of like you know like like we get. our own Comics coming to us uh it's kind. of like it's fun yeah it's like our own. little Festival yeah yeah so we're. flying people in like Ian Edwards was. here last weekend and it's like Russell.
Peters was here the weekend before that. it's [ __ ] great Harlan Williams is. here yeah he killed it yeah he's. hilarious he's such a good dude too. if you don't like Harlan like who. doesn't like Harlan have you even heard. a bad word said about that guy ever no. never no never because he's the good. kind of funny he's the sweetest guy on. Earth he's so nice to everyone always. always has been I've known Harlan for. like 30 years he's always been that guy. hey Buttercup he's always been like.
super friendly to everyone managers. waitresses staff it's just a nice. [ __ ] guy funny as [ __ ]. always been that guy too so nice that. someone could like make it and show. business and just be the sweetest guy. you know no worries at all. yeah so having guys like that like come. in every week is amazing Jessica Curson. was here the other day she did a couple. of shows. Joey came by was Joey would have stayed.
longer Joey's so crazy he only did one. set he's so it's so funny like Joey was. supposed to do the Eagles I'm gonna do. the 10 o'clock show I go two [ __ ]. seven two come on Joey go up there and. [ __ ] these people up come on because he. hasn't really been doing that much stand. up and so he had to get himself worked. up right he got worked out really angry. at us you know and he [ __ ] loved the. fact that his quote is on the wall. though in neon yeah together [ __ ] yeah. how many times did he say that to us.
get together he [ __ ] probably said. that a thousand times every time you're. about to go on stage get it together Red. Band Come on get it together [ __ ] let's. go. let's go [ __ ] science yeah so he. was here Dave Smith was here you know. the boy Ari and Shane and Norman are. coming by this week oh my god oh that's. great next week brother we're gonna have. so much [ __ ] fun. it's been amazing man it's made it's. like a dream like when you're in that. place you're hanging out in the Green. Room like this place is perfect yeah.
everything's perfect yeah I've been. hanging out a lot more now ever since it. opened I was like this is what I missed. you know they're like this is this hang. is what I I missed the clubhouse the the. getting the Talk Shop like me and Tony. and Sarah and cam were just sitting in a. booth last night just laughing and. talking chop she's talking about gigs. and bits and this and that and travel. and remember this time and that time and. oh my God it's [ __ ] that camaraderie.
that you get from a home base is what I. missed so much and now I feel like we. have it more than we ever had it before. if more than the store even you know. it's like this it's like the store's. back bar on steroids and then when. everybody goes down there and the music. is awesome and everybody's happy just. such a great environment man and why. don't you guys have one of the best. staffs also there's not like one bad. staff member everyone's pretty just. solid no they're great they're well. because we brought so many people from.
the store and then Carrie just took care. of all you know she just knows how to. handle stuff yeah she's the best it's. just. it's just amazing it just feels like a. dream like while you're there like how. is this real how did we do it and. especially for us because we talked. about doing it for like two [ __ ]. years you know it's like for two years. everybody was like mocking us the. Windsor Club opening like it takes time. it takes time okay it's not that [ __ ]. easy. it takes time and you've done so much to.
that place though you know there was a. lot of construction you lowering the. lowering the ceiling I heard took an. extra two months just for that you know. it was some time well that was after. Louie came by yeah Louis came by and um. he gave me some really good uh pointers. a really good piece of advice I should. just say Direction because I just did. everything he said you know he's like. this stage is too big should make the. stage smaller I was like you're right. why is it so big yeah okay so like this. is like while construction was going on.
they had to cut into the bar the rebar. and [ __ ] okay we're gonna make this two. feet shorter on each I think maybe four. feet shorter on each side of the stage. yeah the little boy a little room and so. then um he said in the ceiling the. ceiling was already low in the little. room it's like lowered even more because. all the ceilings the way the Alamo. Drafthouse was it was a movie theater so. it was set up like a movie theater with. like stage you know like concert stadium. seating and so what we did is we lifted. the floor up. in both rooms so uh it was no it's flat.
now flat across and then we'd lower the. ceiling as well so we just made it just. cozy best sound system ever yeah it's. perfect so amazing it's perfect and it's. like one of those things where when. Comics experience it they realize like. oh this is the optimum environment for. doing the art for being around the. comics having fun all [ __ ] around. together and having a really good time. and the audience has a great time it's.
magic it's like everything I could have. ever hoped it would be really is and I'm. glad that you're right next door too. it's [ __ ] awesome it's awesome to. have so many clubs because like even. people that are staffed there they're. like those those folks that work the. door those those folks are all stand-ups. so if they have a spot like at the creek. in the cave and like 9 30 they can punch. out yeah and go do their spot and then. come back and punch back in yeah and. that's it's amazing because like you.
know I did The Secret Show and half your. staff is on the show when they're. wearing their comedy mother like. everyone's wearing the same staff shirts. you know uh and that's a good thing. because that's I that would never that's. never heard of of any comedy club like. in LA they would never let you like. clock out at the Laugh Factory to go do. a spot at the Improv are you kidding me. you know that would never happen so. that's what there almost needs to be a. position that all the clubs pay for like. a Yoni or somebody that goes in between. each one and goes hurry you have three. minutes to go back to work right. [Laughter].
well it's we were trying to set it up. for new Talent too like the the big. thing that uh you know Burr and I. actually talked about this is like the. big mistake that a lot of these big. clubs did is they stopped doing open. mics because you don't you don't ever. develop any local talent you gotta like. bite the bullet on those nights and you. got to have two nights of amateurs I. think two nights is the way to do it. because that's how the store did it and. I think you know the development process. here is probably going to be more.
accelerated because you have more. opportunities for sets or sets all. around town There's sets all around that. block and you're going to get to see. like Top Flight Comics who come into. town which is big for like young Comics. to see good Comics it's very important. for me like uh growing up in Boston. especially starting out there I was so. lucky to be able to see guys that are. already like really good. because if you're in a spot like you. know some City where there's not that. much cotton you start your own open mic.
night like who you who are you working. with like right there's no one there. it's like it's hard to develop if unless. there's other Like Comics to sort of. compare to and watch absolutely and that. doesn't help happen in a lot of these. corporate clubs and cities where they. just have like you know a wacky Comedy. Club you know you can't just hang out. there you know like they want ladies. just hang out there as a young comic and. watch also people kind of know what. you're doing you know they'll come in if. Shane Gillis is in town they'll come in. if Rich bosses and look they'll come and.
pay but they're not going to be there. all the time you know it's like. but to set it up the way that we set it. up like who the [ __ ] gonna do that. yeah nobody's gonna do that. we also at Sunset that we have uh open. mics on the day of kill Tony we'll have. before kill Tony starts we'll have one. minute mics so people can go in there. and you know just try a minute real. quick before they go sign up for kill. Tony that's good because as you if you. do get a chance to do kill Tony you.
already warmed it up yeah yeah that's. good and to test out the timing too A. lot of people think of minutes you know. well you have a good place too of a big. comic wants to come too because you have. 500 seats yeah yeah we can go up pretty. pretty high in that place right now we. only have it like a 200 300 if we need. to but also you have it like modular. yeah we have it so they take the seats. out so and make it how many ever tickets. are are so oh no make it a little bit. more intimate and stuff that's good. spread it out it's a good space though. it's a good space for stand up.
there's a speakeasy right below it which. is so weird there's this light in the. alley and if the lights on that means. it's open and it if you go down our back. stairs you'll just see this door and. it's like what's in that door you open. that door and it's just this underground. bar that like looks like it's in the 80s. and it's really trippy and it's so. interesting that there's really yeah how. big is it it's pretty decent about the. size of like a you know like a Subway. sandwich place or something you know. what I mean it's like.
yeah it's interesting though there's the. Speakeasy uh business in this town is. very there's a lot of secret bars yeah. how does that work it's like they're. private clubs so they can get away and. staying openly right yeah there's one. down the street from us called like VCR. repair or something like that you know. what I'm talking about floppy disk. repair and it's it looks like a computer. store or something like floppy disk. repair gotta get the code to get in. every day they change it yeah really. yeah like going to a different bar I. think it's like The Garage bar which is. in a parking garage it's like what why.
is there a bar in the middle of this. [ __ ] parking garage yeah whatever and. you go inside you're like hey what's the. code to the other bar like yeah they. might tell you they might not there's. another way to get it to I read but like. I don't I've never been what's in the. floppy disk bar oh show the picture of. it if you can uh I've never been inside. of it because I always thought it was. like what is going on here this is like. a rug store in Glendale this is a money. front like who's going to get floppy. discs. yeah like look at that it's like what. that's a bar oh wow there's the secret. door kind of thing huh that's a bar it's.
like swings and so it's just a bar with. special weird drinks um. okay. all righty. okay there's a lot of those in Austin. though it's weird it's fun down yeah. there you go a lot of Secrets like. swings as the seats you've done. um the what is that spider Ballroom oh. yeah you do stand up there Tuesday yeah. yeah they do a lot of shows there it's a. that's a nice little stage that's a dope. looking room yeah they they sold I think.
they owners sold it to in like a new. owner and so it's not the exact same as. it used to be it used to have like a lot. more charm like there was an old piano. outside that had been weathered down by. weather and they used to have this. really cool Courtyard with all this. really cool stuff and it looks like. somebody's just kind of cleaned it up. now so it's still pretty cool though. have you tried done the Velveeta yet the. no velveeta's across the street from. like Vulcan kind of Ron said there's. another room across the street too. called The Green Room said it's like 70.
seats oh I haven't even heard that yeah. for 20 years what. yeah this is apparently another another. spot there too all those ask the locals. they there's all sorts of mics that are. going on all over the [ __ ] place yeah. I showed you pictures of that Alamo I. did the other day it was like being in a. circus it was the coolest room ever I. think Richard did those too the guy who. did our place we got the same architect. who did the remodel for the Alamo. Drafthouse so the same guy that did the.
close encounters thing that beautiful. thing like that all these Alamos are all. themes and they all have different. themes like the theme from The Shining. you know when there was there's the one. with the carpet or the with the big. wheel in the middle of it he did all. those that's awesome yeah kind of like. fries remember fries exactly like fries. he also did um the Rizza has a bar in. Staten Island called The Flying. Guillotine and it's uh it's it's like a. Kung Fu themed bar.
like because you know wu-tang's and like. they're all in the Kung Fu right so it's. all like and that's why it's called the. flying Guillotine because I think the. flying Guillotine was a kung fu movie. have you been to that Wu-Tang inspired. restaurant here in Austin no what is it. ah you know what it's called Jamie uh. Danny Brown took me to it and it's uh. something Wu Tang it's a restaurant and. like everything's they only play Wu-Tang. the whole time you're there and stuff. but it's like a Chinese restaurant uh. what yeah.
Wu-Tang inspired that's what that's what. Danny Brown told me about that Danny. Brown yeah yeah he's because he they. played it like the whole time yeah no I. don't know I'm Danny Brown's truck yeah. maybe he was or maybe I misheard him but. uh that was a while ago but uh yeah he. took me that place is cool I like yeah. Wu child's great that's uh TK's Place CK. is uh he also owns that um uh Omakase. sushi place. toshikan have you been there no oh my.
God it's amazing there's some good spots. yeah there's I mean maybe his CK was. there and there's playing Wu-Tang yeah. maybe because last time I was there they. were playing all kinds of music but the. Chinese food here is legit too yes if. you're eating it Lynn. no Lynn is legit Lynn I think she. started at Wu Chow and then left to. start her own place where's it at it's. yeah it's uh off sixth yeah it's great. yeah I'm up there man I'm up North so I. don't really haven't gone to a lot.
you're out and where you hear gunshots. at night yeah oh yeah we wear there's. there's a bobcat that lives in my. backyard. yeah coyotes don't howl and there's neck. of the woods they get shot yeah. sidetracked old video I saw but maybe. it's new there's a family walking. through the jungle I guess in a like a. mountain lion or Jaguar whatever it pops. up right next to them little kids two. little kids guide mom they just freeze. have you seen that no okay. where is it I don't I couldn't tell I. was like I thought as you were saying it.
I was like maybe this is a really old. video I felt like I had seen it before. but also just watched it yesterday it. was a fox in my yard the other day. that's cool cool they're so cool looking. their faces are so interesting they're. thinking they're looking at you they're. thinking like what do you have all right. family walks through the jungle.
oh [ __ ]. I wouldn't be that scared of that yes. you would. you would be scared as [ __ ] take that. little kid so fast it's lowered it's. stance look at it. thinking about pouncing. and that's it that's it that's it it. just ends right there I don't know where. are they that doesn't say it's like a. Reddit what the [ __ ] happened yeah. because that's a mountain lion it's a it.
could be a Florida panther. could be a mountain lion maybe they have. them like that and they have mountain. lions in Mexico. I know they have Jaguars. they have Mountain lines in Mexico. I don't know I would think so. I don't think if they have Jaguars the. Jaguars [ __ ] up all the mountain lions. probably. um. do you still have a cat no I'm taking I. miss having a cat you gonna get another. cat I don't know I was thinking about. getting one of those big cats uh big. fluffy ones oh servalls no not that big.
though those are scary the ones that. look like they're like a furry mask oh. yeah have you seen those like those. servalls when they like feed them. chicken wings they growl no. yeah it's so scary those are Primal man. those those cats are real close to a. wild cat the people have them they put. them on leashes and [ __ ] Mary Lynn rice. Cub has like a huge cat too that's kind. of doesn't she have like a sphinx cat. yeah those are those hairless ones. apparently those are super affectionate.
because they're cold all the time so. they want to snuggle with you no it's. not that it's it's a. I think it's one of those giant cats. you're talking about like a serval yeah. yeah those are. yeah like one of those yeah those are. crazy cats yeah. look at it whoa. Jesus if you get too close to its food. it'll [ __ ] you up. look at that thing.
yeah I think I think that's the kind of. catch she has one of those yeah well I. need uh Jon Jones used to have those. things. yeah those are um they're real close to. Wild. you know I mean how much of a pet is. that. do you can you like cuddle with those. things. and wouldn't it just [ __ ] your furniture. up like oh yeah you wouldn't have any. furniture destroy your couch yeah. yeah that's not the same thing I don't.
think no that's just a cat she's got a. cat but it's a huge cat though yeah oh I. don't know man that kind of looks like a. Servall too that looks exactly like. those yeah. yeah these things are when they get big. they're they're like three times a. regular cat size yeah [ __ ] that yeah. what are you doing like are you allowed. to have those everywhere. are those like the kind of cat like can. you just does that count as a house cat. or is that some sort of a weird exotic.
that you can only get in certain States. I think you're allowed to happen you. can't get them in California. you can't even there's like a bunch of. animals you're not allowed to have a. license in Texas to go oh you have to. have a license it's illegal in every. other state except for like these whoa. interesting so they are pretty okay so. they're illegal in California so you. need a license in Missouri Oklahoma. Indiana Pennsylvania Rhode Island Maine. Mississippi Montana Idaho North Dakota. and South Dakota in all other states.
Servall ownership is illegal yeah those. are barely pets. can you have a Servall cat as a pet. Servall cats aren't legal everywhere in. the U.S yeah she's got one that's that. is one she's a criminal Marilyn you're a. goddamn criminal huge how dare you. you're not allowed to have that I'm. sorry I'm sorry but they have to ruin. your life what was it would it what else. did it say about did it say like how. dangerous they are to keep his pets that. just said like the same thing as the. thing so Google are they dangerous or.
serve all cats dangerous. I bet they're dangerous I bet they [ __ ]. people up every year depends how they're. raised I guess right yeah they don't. okay the strength is much higher than. out of a normal cat and even if they. don't mean harm they can cause it uh. simply by playing serviles have a bite. force at the canine teeth of 172 Newtons. whereas feral domestic cats have a bite. force of 56 Newtons wow wow. that's a lot that's a big [ __ ].
difference man. that's more than three times stronger. that's crazy it would be cool to have. them until it's standing over your bed. decided he's gonna kill you yeah. how many people get bitten by those. things every year. you think anybody ever has ever died. because the serval cat killed them no. well I'm sure yes yeah I bet one shitty. kid yeah. you know one kid was a kid with a stick.
or something it just [ __ ] them up all. right their throat. how many times a year do people get. injured by serval cats. right it seems like one happened at a. zoo. oh yeah that's where it belongs uh well. it belongs in the wild let's see there's. a video and officials looking for owner. of circle catch shot kill oh this was. killed over the weekend. yeah if they get out you got it I was in. Columbus Ohio oh. Fairfield County which didn't seem like.
that was on the list where are they from. places. where are they from originally. people are so weird like a regular. domestic cat's not enough for you yeah. this monster wow native to Africa some. Saharan countries except rain forest. regions. now now Google serve all cats getting. crazy video. there must be something like that yeah. sure what cat versus Pitbull oh Jesus.
yeah yeah. angry Savannah catness angry Savannah. cats in someone's house let's see what. it does it doesn't do it is I don't have. not a good one crazy looking cat on the. loose that's not Servo cat playing with. kids that's not gonna miss how about. serval cat attacks. let's see. I'm getting crazy.
oh boy. it's just a new story oh they could have. it on oh that's whoa oh oh gosh just a. quick bite a little scratch not good. though not good. what are you doing though right hanging. your baby yeah why why would you have. your baby anywhere near that thing what. was the first video there was another. one that's not much of a tag video it's. just a Servo attack.
vicious uh. sorry we're in trouble please. so maybe they're uh holds itself with. that cheetah. whoa. oh this is out in the wild. yeah why is the Servall kept [ __ ]. with him. get out of there bro yeah.
there's a Face-Off. cats be crazy. yeah but you see how big that cat is. like why would anybody have that as a. house pet that seems so ridiculous. what's the video we've seen before. there's two animals just like this. screaming at each other. oh that was two lynxes that was crazy. you ever seen that no Lynx is yelling at. each other they're trying to like fight. over territory but they don't want to. injure each other right they don't want. to get injured so they're like reluctant.
to engage so they're standing in front. of each other. yeah. oh awesome. look at their faces. okay someone put captions on it. [Laughter]. this way. how weird that is weird it runs into. this.
that's so cool it's interesting how they. both like are in agreement that they're. not really going to touch each other. almost look at the back legs on the one. on the left it looks like a really big. feet oh they do have big feet man. because they they run in snow they're. cold weather cats. it is interesting when cats live in cold. weather like that. whoa.
it sounds like two little kids. [Laughter]. it's interesting how they just they both. know not to get after it because they. can get [ __ ] hurt. so they're just like bluffing even. understanding right in front of each. other you ever seen a snow leopard yeah. it's another cold weather cat yeah like. you always think of cats as like a. jungle creature well it's a lot of cold. weather cats Siberian tigers big furry. ass tiger.
that's what everybody ran from for most. of human history. running away from big cats. that's the cleanup crew of nature. anybody with a limp. anybody that can't figure out a spear. anybody doesn't know how to get to the. top of the tree that's a wrap have you. been watching uh chimp Empire no it's. that it's really good man chimp Empire. yeah it's a documentary series that's on. Netflix about these chimpanzees and.
these folks like got embedded with these. chimpanzees the footage is [ __ ]. insane it's it's absolutely insane and. these camera people are just accepted by. these Champs because they've been there. for so long The Chimps just act normal. around these camera people and they get. to see them their social hierarchy how. they have wage war with neighboring. Clans they control territory. like the territory that has fruit is run. by this one group of Champs these other.
ones came in and killed the champ and. it's crazy oh man I want to watch this. it's really intense when did this come. out just recently it's pretty recent. yeah it's really really good man and the. footage is like unprecedented I mean. they use drones they used uh camera. people they did all kinds of stuff to. get incredible like Treetop footage. like up there with the they kill a lot. of monkeys a lot of monkeys like that's. their favorite thing to do they kill.
monkeys and eat them yeah and when you. watch it happen over and over again. you're like oh boy that's [ __ ] up oh. this little like legless monkeys like. they're just eating his guts oh God. I just had that happen to me uh two days. ago I have this toad and I nicknamed him. Jeff he just lives in my front yard and. he just sits underneath the light at. night and waits for bugs to like fall on. the ground underneath the light and I. came home the other night from. Mothership it was like two in the. morning I get dropped off and I I'm.
walking to the front door and there's a. possum with half of him in his mouth. with blood just splattering out. everywhere and I didn't know what it was. I was like is that a rat wait what's in. his mouth what's it and it's all I have. all my ring camera and the Toads just. half missing guts hanging out and still. go up like frogging and uh just blood so. much blood everywhere dude and one of. his legs uh was just been sucked off the. bone just sitting there one of the most.
goriest things I've ever seen in my life. Possum's a ruthless little [ __ ] [ __ ]. them I hate possums now they're weird. yeah they're like if you see their mouth. like uh Marshall got one the other day. it was actually a while ago he got one. and uh I don't know if it was dead or. just playing dead he's like right but. like you see them with their mouth open. and their [ __ ] teeth what a creepy. looking animal they are and what a weird. defense mechanism it just plays dead. yeah like I don't get like it has like. some sort of a panic attack right and.
can't move did I told you when we lived. in Burbank Janice called me once and I. was at the comedy store and goes she. goes there's a hurt possum I brought him. in he's in a box and I have them wrapped. up with a towel and I'm like he's not. hurt God oh my God you got a possum in. your house My Crazy Girlfriend That. doesn't understand Wildlife the [ __ ] is. gonna get ready yeah. yeah I was like throw it out then right. now oh my God I was holding it like a. baby oh my God it's hurt.
because she know what playing possible. she's never heard that before. Oh my God I have pictures somewhere I. will send them if I find him why do. possums lock up like that I don't know. was there a reason for that. white opossums play dead why do possums. play possum yeah well I guess that is. like hey I don't want to fight I'll just. act like dead because but then things. just he's gonna eat you I guess yeah it. is weird unless something is not trying. to it's just trying to neutralize you.
right then you just pretend you're. already neutralized. it says it's an involuntary response to. the system it's so yeah the distance its. only defense mechanism I guess it's like. a feigning goat then yeah involuntary. defense mechanism that somehow or. another. impart some sort of yeah. they want to kill it oh so yes they just. act dead it's like a numbers game. ugliest animal in the world they're. [ __ ] mouths oh. toad eating monsters yeah that's.
probably the only animal that when it's. a baby it still doesn't look cute you. know what a [ __ ] creep oh. it's gonna have a thumb like a raccoon. take a raccoon any day over that. um I want to send you something Jamie. this is [ __ ]. this uh this guy had this photo of a. wolf mouth on his Instagram and I was. like holy [ __ ] like you don't realize. what the inside of a wolf's mouth looks. like who.
um. I'm So Close Up Is it okay all right. closer than that whoa. that's pretty crazy. that looks like your your statue yeah it. looks fake yeah well their bones are. designed to crush I mean their teeth. rather designed to crush bones. well I can't find it okay I'll find it. later I'll send it to you. yeah [ __ ] them [ __ ] all those things.
that's one thing's about Texas like the. coyotes don't howl out here as much yeah. because they get shot yeah they figured. it out it's still I'm close to think no. it's not what looks like a fake photo no. it's really no no I know but I've seen. so many mid-journey and fake like AI. photos like it's all starting to look. yeah like it's not real no that's a. there's a series of uh photos of that. wolf. that's nuts yeah. yeah that the AI stuff not being able to.
know if something's real or not like. like Alex Jones was just on the news. yesterday about being trolled by AI in. these like some guy from Canada yeah. someone like called him yeah with. someone else's voice right it was like. Tucker Carlson yeah it was pretty funny. yeah that's the world we live in now. dude you're not going to be able to tell. within a year. there's no I mean there's no notice I. mean who knows what's real what's not. you're going to be getting news stories. that are fake and they look completely. real like attacks and I mean the ability.
to pull off like a false flag attack now. and think things along those lines like. you just fake them let's whack the dog. I mean they're going to be able to do. I mean within a year every person that. has ever recorded anything they'll be. able to get your voice and have you say. anything like they have people calling. up their parents yeah it's a fake kid. it's already happening kidnapped yeah. scary [ __ ] now is that a real because I. heard that also there was like a. Facebook post about it like uh watch out.
for this new scam they have ai and you. know and like there was a story about. like somebody thinking it was their mom. or something and getting a loan out and. like I've heard of this happening Way. Beyond the AI stuff which I find weird. that it's because now it seems very. capable of going on but I definitely. have heard this as a Facebook post story. going around for a few years like a. grandparent was called in a ransom thing. and they didn't paid it without calling. I was like how did they do that then no. idea I've but they didn't have to do it. with a fake voice back then they were. the claim was that it was of it sounded.
like the grandchild or whatever like and. how are they doing that is beyond me. five years ago now it seems very easy to. do obviously I believe it I I don't know. of a first-hand account I've talked to. someone like this happened to me I've. seen a lot of videos of people saying. this happened to me to use my voice so. I've told my parents I'm like hey don't. believe anything you hear anymore call. me first code word but yeah I don't know. I don't know well you have to like send. out a preemptive strike yeah if you get. anything don't believe it call me first.
I'm reminding my mom every week just in. case she forgets like it's all fake yeah. just remember it's all fake. yeah we'll leave it we're real close. real close to it not having any idea. what's real yeah and then with AI. the fact that AI is going to be able to. answer any kind of question but it's. also programmed so there's you know AI. is very woke like if you ask AI one of. the things that said uh is it okay like. should I be proud to be white if you say.
that if you ask AI if it it's like well. you don't have any control over that. Chevy proud to be black yes of course. it's one of those deals wow it's like uh. say something positive about Donald. Trump it won't say something positive. about Joe Biden it will yeah yeah that's. [ __ ] up well that's also it seems like. human uh controlling this is something. cool I saw yesterday I think meta is. open source the tool they have and. here's an explanation of what it does so.
be careful for your videos check this. out most AI models only work across one. or two modes but our new image bind. model Works across six text audio images. and video 3D thermal and motion data you. give it input in one form and it can. relate it to any others it works more. like our own imagination. if you give it a picture of a beach. you can find the sound of waves. if you give it a photo of a tiger and. the sound of a waterfall.
it can give you a video that combines. both. this is a step towards AIS that. understand the world around them more. like we do which will make them a lot. more useful and will open up totally new. ways to create things. we're open sourcing image bind so. everyone in the world can access and. build on top of these state-of-the-art. models I'm excited to see that guy has a.
Tech Guy voice like a strip club DJ DJ. voice you know there's a Tech Guy voice. you know I almost seem real don't I you. know what I mean is he imitating Steve. Jobs because the job sort of more like. Zuckerberg sounds more like Zucker that. was Zuckerberg. it does sound like I thought you were. just saying that about him I thought. someone was imitating something okay. well that makes sense. um Zuckerberg does have the ultimate. Tech Guy void the one that drives me the. most nuts is the up voice basically what.
we're doing here you know that up up. speak yeah that's like a tech sort of. upspeak I hate vocal fry oh come on the. girls do each other. yeah it's like yeah. [Laughter]. yeah how long before you can't trust. anything in the news. I don't think you can right now right.
yeah right now it's already a little. sketchy yeah. yeah I mean how long how long before we. have no idea what's real. good how long before the debates start. up or whatever it's like a year yeah. like that news cycle is going to be. intense. very intense daily. when you see AI like when you see. Zuckerberg's thing right there with AI. doesn't it seem like the beginning of a.
movie that like like 12 years ago like. you know you see scientists work on. things this is so exciting cut to. present time in Terminator yeah. hunting down the last biologics you know. it's weird how all the stuff that we. thought was sci-fi it really is coming. true it really is. I mean we're real close away from robot. companions real close like a decade a.
decade away from people having real. dolls that are their actual girlfriends. they're talking to them and having. conversations with them and rubbing. their back while they watch sports. foreign. who's going to get married then. you know if a real doll is like. indiscernible from a human being and she. just wants to [ __ ] all the time she has. a perfect body and she doesn't even eat. food. how many incels are just gonna like just.
get a job so they can pay for their. their robots do the scene from. Terminator 2 where he explains what. Skynet is it's exactly like what's going. on now let's see it. he's working on it still in this part. yeah just trying to get some. hey you're gonna work all day I'm sorry. baby but this thing is just kicking my. ass look how they're coding.
um. I'm Gonna Roll It. miles you got to go to Raging Waters bro. trying to kill this in the world baby. this is going to blow them all away it's. a it's a neural net processor I know you. told me. neural net processor and thanks and. learns like we do it's super conducting. at room temperature other computers are. just pocket calculators by comparison.
why is that so goddamn important miles I. really need to know because sometimes I. feel like I'm going crazy here. knock knock. it's just close to ruined life. that's the thing yeah imagine a jet. airliner. with a pilot that never gets tired never. makes mistakes never shows up to work. with a hangover.
why did we get married miles why did we. have these children you don't need us. your heart and your mind are in here. but it doesn't love you like we do. what kind of inner button was I yeah. explain more of it honestly right there. but that's. what his explanation and the guys are. making open AI to do right now.
Drive tassels for us and. yeah look happy family about to [ __ ]. kill Humanity as we know it yeah they. all die in that right after it right. there. you've seen that before is Sarah Sarah. uh Conor's going like I need to find. this [ __ ] guy tell me everything. about me that's right he gets shot. those [ __ ] movies are it's so odd. when you go back and think of what they. thought the future was going to be like. then. nobody predicts it right nobody gets it. right and that's why I wonder like what.
we're getting wrong. like when we're thinking about what the. future is going to be I have a feeling. it's going to be we're so off base. I have a feeling whatever they invent. whatever starts getting implemented. whether it's neural link or something. that changes the interface between. humans and and the web and Technology I. think it's going to be bigger than all. the things we've ever experienced. I think our future like we're gonna look. back and we're we're The Last of the. Mohicans because we're people that grew.
up without the internet and then had the. internet when we're adults and then. we're seeing kids grow up with the. internet. and then then there's going to be the. next thing and we're going to be the. people that went through the whole thing. together. where everybody from the future is just. going to be some weird cyborg. yeah. yeah that's when comedy's gonna die. that's where Fun's gonna die. no more entertainment everyone's just. locked into the Matrix. and drones are going around shooting. people drones are telling you go back to.
your place yeah there's a new disease. out there's a new variant you need your. booster. I think there's gonna be that that. version's gonna happen but some place I. I don't know pick a city is gonna stay. the same they'll be adverse to. everything Pflugerville yeah. no computers are here yeah it's all. manual it's all be like almost like. Amish Country like there's nothing left. but yeah you can go there or you can go. to you know. whatever San Francisco becomes if it's. on for a while by robots and [ __ ] for a.
while but there's no old west Towns now. anymore after a while they'll die off no. more wagons no more horseback. I'm not sure even using cell phones. that's true. they're using cell phones never looked. that up that's right we're talking about. yeah they're doing Molly and having. Raves yeah what is that called Rumble. still skin or something. they get off they go Rubble still. skinning out they do drugs and [ __ ]. they're only allowed to do it once.
though right like one they and then they. go back to being an Amish yeah but they. can last as long as they want right they. can only do it once you can't go back. and forth right you can't Rumple still. skin like when you're 30. why would you. ever go back. they miss the community you know that's. what it is like you miss what you know. if you're used to living in a place. where everybody makes their own houses. and people [ __ ] pass butter around. you want to be in that group.
you don't think you could do it [ __ ] no. I grew up in Ohio so we already kind of. delivered our worst penalty is getting. shunned by the community he's like what. yeah get the [ __ ] out of here it's like. okay all right yeah but I bet they have. very little crime because of it. everybody chips in but they're also a. cult. you know. I mean it's kind of a cult yeah what is. their uh what are they basing it on. I believe I don't know which is. different kinds of Amish Amish and then. there's like Mennonites and there's.
Mennonites aren't the same thing I don't. think I think they're more Mennonites. are more strict or less strict. [Music]. I'd like to buy a lot of Mennonites and. they were hardcore yeah stunk they stunk. they don't bathe no they don't they. don't smell like they do they they don't. wear deodorant or anything like that. maybe the ones you were around yeah it. was special thank you special stinky. Mennonite yeah. they would stink up the zoo isn't it. weird that there's like rules that you. have like no electricity.
know this know that yeah got to keep it. pure. so stupid meanwhile kova didn't affect. them at all. those people just [ __ ] skated right. through it. well first of all they're out in the sun. all the time they're working all the. time. I would imagine if you're a person of. that lifestyle you'd probably be pretty. pretty healthy because they're not. eating processed foods right right they. grow their own Foods oh you're super. healthy yeah probably mountainous you.
know they probably don't have vitamins. or anything because they don't take. supplements. they're probably. potatoes and you know corn every day oh. dude. I couldn't imagine living like that but. I bet if you did live like that it'd be. normal I think people just adapt. difference between Amish and Mennonites. holy share a common uh anabaptists. Heritage Amish and Mennonites have been. separate groups within the anabaptist. family since 1693. Amish and Mennonite.
this [ __ ] has been rolling for. that long Amish and Mennonites migrated. separately to North America but often. settled in the same areas both migrated. in several ways first in the 1700s and. the 1800s yeah those [ __ ] people that. came down here in the 1700s how gangster. were they I mean you're just taking a. chance. taking a chance of coming to America and. trying to figure it out in the woods. there's nothing here yet. I mean what was here Boston.
Philadelphia. like what was here in the 1700s. there's a few places couple like which. part the end of the 1700s I was thinking. watching that Ben Franklin documentary. like he left and went to live in London. for a while like you really did yes. Thomas Jefferson left and lived in. France for a while really yeah [ __ ]. Traders we were in London I went by Ben. Franklin's house. he he was living there for a long time. he left his family in Pennsylvania it's. like see ya I gotta go make America. better over like and like be an advocate.
I don't know if he was officially like. uh probably had a girlfriend I think. that's what it was I think that's what. they said like yeah. boyfriend what are you talking about. yeah back then you have to send a note. that you wrote with a feather get it on. a boat to get to them. how long would it take you to write a. letter back then. Jesus Christ you tried to use cursive. lately no I don't know how you know you. don't remember no. no I can write my name. like if I had to write a sentence in. cursive it's going to be very confusing.
right I tried to remember how to do Z. the other day I couldn't oh how do you. use it yeah. what's that Billy Madison should make. some get up on the in front of the class. and write uh Rizzo on the board in. cursive oh really yeah he's like gonna. make your favorite baseball player he. just does these little scribbles they're. like what does that say bill is it rero. or something. I don't remember how to do these yeah. cursive is on its way out are they still. teaching no they stopped they stopped so. yeah that's a good way that we could use.
in the future to contact her just talk. to us like. well cursive AI doesn't pick up. so if you want to like write a note and. put it on Instagram and get by their. filters. what which ones right here he doesn't. know how to do it. what is a real Z though what's a z yeah. cursive I could draw let me see if it. just shows I'll just type it cursive z. cursive. particularly what it looks like oh oh.
look what I did I guess look what I did. wow. wow I would have never got that right. there's another one again. I would have never got that right. there's another one that's weird too. like. I think I stopped writing a curse of the. moment I got out of high school though. yeah my mom still writes me cursive. letters like once a month and sends them. to me I'm like Mom it's take it's taking. me an hour.
I still haven't forgiven you for the. Edibles you gave me. you ever slip your mom an edible no how. do you think she'd handle it she would. she would call the she would go to the. hospital definitely yeah yeah she she. would panic and think it's like a. religious thing yeah. [Laughter]. I I gave my dad a long time ago when he. uh came and visited me in L.A he drank.
some of my wine weed wine and oh no yeah. and he got he got [ __ ] up did he knows. weed wine no he just thought it was. regular wine he still doesn't know well. you probably knows now but what happened. uh he got very happy and laughy and he. was having a great time like it did. exactly what it should never tell him no. why didn't you tell him you drink a lot. of it and I didn't know or I did know I. can't remember it seems like he would. enjoy it yeah I don't know I'm still. weird about that some old folks they.
start finding Edibles and they go hey. yeah they love it it's pretty nice yeah. Ric Flair's an Edibles yeah we got his. woo-choo's over there oh that's. hilarious yeah he's got his own edible. brand. we'll choose. but Edibles are nice you don't have to. worry about smoking it's easy on the. body. yeah hook your dad up. if you want something you can have them. send him a crate of that one. do you have some Delta nine dad.
the uh the weed wine is a weird. combination like they make weed Soda. Weed gummy bears weed bubble gum weed. breath spray. yeah weed wine. remember back in the day when like weed. was not really legal yet in La they had. like the first Edibles like I remember. people to always give you like the weed. wine and like yeah these weird like. inventions there was a lot of weird. stuff yeah it was during the the medical. days yeah when you used to have to have.
a medical card that doctor you had that. sold as like the zinc or something like. that we were spraying like zinc in our. mouth or like some metal the dog was. very odd. you remember you had that thing that. attached to your ear to get you to quit. smoking oh yeah [ __ ] that is not gonna. work. bought it for me and I'm like thinking. Joe don't buy this what does it give you. like an electrical yeah I tried bro. maybe this will do it for you that was. so ridiculous he showed me a book on how. uh Tesla energy was used to destroy the.
twin towers and I'm like what. what are you saying do you see the. planes hit them like it was just it was. the most crazy conversation I'm like. well this is the type of person that. gives out medical prescriptions for weed. like you're not getting like the best. Minds yeah you know those guys were out. they were taking chances like some of. those guys got arrested went to jail for. it like in the early days of medical. marijuana it was it was weird because. you would get arrested and then.
um when they would bring you to court. you weren't allowed to say medical. marijuana because medical marijuana was. only a state thing in federal. government's language it was just. marijuana so literally you couldn't say. you had a license to grow it for medical. patients like your trial you were not. allowed to tell the truth yeah it was. like the federal government doesn't. recognize States laws when it comes to. schedule one substances. so all these people that are making.
money off of weed it's like you're. dancing this little weird line because. federally it's super illegal and yet. States I think now it's like 19 States. or more have made it legal. it's like at what point in time are they. going to let that go how many [ __ ]. people have been in jail for marijuana I. mean it's a. it is a wild thing that we have so many. drugs that are available that can [ __ ]. you up and they're easy to get. prescriptions for and marijuana is still.
illegal. federally. didn't they were they going to change it. like it wasn't it Biden or somebody yeah. they're full [ __ ]. they don't change [ __ ] dude they don't. change [ __ ] they don't change [ __ ] like. that those are those cultural War. subjects that they like to like bounce. back and forth they'll like the left to. get upset give us our marijuana and the. right wants their guns and then the. right doesn't want you to have an. abortion the left wants to have. abortions and these cultural War issues.
never get cleaned up because there's no. benefit in cleaning them up there's no. benefit and just settle them and resolve. even Roe v Wade like I thought we had. that worked out and then all of a sudden. they take that like it's a culture War. issue like they want people to be upset. like they took away our abortion and. then the the left is less likely to. cross sides and join over to the right. even though they believe them fiscally. and economically. that right to abortion is a big one I. think there were some really wild number.
like. with uh women's right to choose like how. many that whether that's a deal breaker. for uh Democratic Americans it's like. some high 60s high 60 percent. see if that's true. how would you Google that. um Democrat. um yeah believe in it yeah what Democrat. right to choose deal breaker 64. something like that it's [ __ ] up that.
they're outlawing like Plan B though. that's the [ __ ] that impressed me you. know think what you want about abortion. but Plan B come on yeah like right after. someone drops in you yeah you can't take. a pill and like stop it right the other. day I nutted in my girl and there was so. much lotion I couldn't tell if I came or. not have you ever had that where you're. like I think I came what are you doing. what does your bedroom look like. I just imagine blasting sheets lotion. everywhere I'm a tarp hun like what are. you doing. well we can't tell if you came or not.
well I got this i got this CBD sex lube. and it just like numbs you so hard. it's numb and it's warm it's pretty cool. why do you want your dick though I don't. like we just got it we tried it and it's. it was pretty good don't they they do. make like desensitizing cream so people. can last longer yeah I think it's I. think it's it's CBD version of that oh. my God. it's great but you know sometimes it's a.
little much I don't know what's going on. down there sometimes. [Laughter]. the ghost that you use I just keep on. squirting like 10 times. shut the [ __ ] up what's wrong with you. what is the [ __ ] floor of your. bedroom look like just oil puddles. [Laughter]. [Music].
okay. ever you ever come you don't even know. if you came because there's so much. lotion like what. [ __ ] is wrong you're doing it wrong. everything I've always liked a lot of. lotion like I would always get like a. second bed and you know one to sleep in. and one to [ __ ] up like at a hotel room. and we'll just get like baby oil like a. whole thing of baby oil and just like. become like like aliens in like a little.
it's great it's slimy it's slimy tits. everywhere. yeah it's cool it feels good. laughs. oh my God I'm just a magic you don't. knock it. yeah yeah I'm actually you coming back. from CVS the plastic bag filled with. baby oils 100 I've done it multiple. times.
that was like mostly more of a high. school thing we used to just love doing. that imagine those maids to get a hold. of sheets. [ __ ] happened here cheese. oh they know I'm sure a lot of people do. that I guess that much baby oil I don't. think that happens very often you always. everybody cocoa butter yeah a bunch of. cocoa butter no he's got baby oil all. over the place I bet it I bet it's more. known yeah Ryan goes to Home Depot. brings back a [ __ ] car construction. Hefty bags lays them over the bed heck.
yeah the slip and slide slip and slide. that's what you're into just covering. yourself up oh yeah it feels good when. you if it's like tits imagine huge tits. and butts like that's just it's like. slippery yeah it's fun you don't like. that sensation what's wrong with you. guys I mean it's not too bad I just have. never committed to it so far oh you got. to it's fun. Jesus Christ. what a weird way for a maid. to discover your nighttime activities.
yeah [ __ ] just baby oil over your bed. it would suck to be a maid huh you just. claim it all comes stuff everywhere. how many people are gross too yeah if. they know they don't have to clean they. just live like animals mm-hmm. it's not a good job have you seen the. [ __ ] wave of migrants it's making its. way across the southern border now that. title 42 is about to it's about to.
expire or pass or whatever the [ __ ] is. happening. we should Google that just so we get a. an accurate description of what it is. but this the the migrants that are. making their way across the border it's. crazy. like the just the sheer number is insane. uh title 42 end of the chronovirus. restrictions and asylums. restrictions are often returned to.
referred to as title 42 because the. authority comes from title 42 of a 1944. public health law that allows curbs on. migration in the name of protecting. public health so it's because of the. pandemic the end of title 42's use has. raised questions about what will happen. with migration at the U.S Mexico border. the blind Administration is preparing. for an increase in migrants. okay so what should just go to Google. what um it looks like on the border.
at the end of title 42 and Mexican. border but like um there's some videos. that show people making their way across. making my way young crash. it's it's really crazy because the the. just the sheer numbers are insane but it. makes sense I mean if I lived in. Guatemala and I knew that there was some. jobs in America. there's so many people making a cross. It's Just Happening all day long and to. be fair like our whole country is going.
through a problem with people not. wanting to work anymore because of covid. like kids are not going back to work. like McDonald's is closing early because. they don't have enough workers so there. is jobs for certain kind of people that. I think have opened up since covid right. yeah and then there's also criminals. yeah that's a problem when you let. people in illegally you don't know if. they're cartel members you don't know if. they're you know terrorists from another. country you have no idea like that's the. whole reason for legal migration is you. want people to.
be able to have a background check on. scumbags and murderers. I mean just but the [ __ ] sheer bulk. of people that are coming across here. if you um you lived in another country. this is the promised land that it just. shows you even today as [ __ ] up as we. are it's still a place where so much can. happen you have so much Freedom there's. someone you start your own business you. can get things popping. and you don't even have to have an idea. to vote you could vote forever lets you. in you can come over here.
fake it. there's places that want illegal. immigrants to be able to vote is it what. they're trying to do that in New York. City. we're lucky someone or our ancestor took. the trip. it's funny though that a certain point. in time we're like stop no more no more. new people right well it's just it says. it got struck down. oh they were trying to do it but again. yeah they're out of their [ __ ] mind. illegal aliens voting no the whole idea. is like you got to become a citizen okay.
you got to be all in on this you can't. be from Saudi Arabia and vote in America. right shut the [ __ ] up. legalization of oil. what no meaning like people from other. uh you know countries could get together. and then like try to pass things that. will benefit their country you know you. have to I'm sure that's already happened. yeah I'm sure there's spies yes probably. Russian agents working in the white. house right now probably we probably. have ones over in China it's probably. like I bet there's operatives that work.
in all sorts of different foreign. countries that are deep undercover that. are sneaking around they get busted all. the time I think what it's saying it was. only going to allow them to vote in New. York City elections local ones when they. struck that down yeah just imagine. what you're doing is just like you're. playing to the illegals you just like. saying look if I could just get them on. my side like think about the bulk of. this I have so many people and then the. Liberals are all going to vote for me. anyway so let's get these all these like.
people that shouldn't even be voting now. I have a new group of people to harvest. votes from. if they really wanted voting to be fair. they'd make everybody would if like. if you 100 couldn't [ __ ] with voting. machines you 100 couldn't [ __ ] with like. you couldn't rig mail-in ballots you. couldn't do any of that like what would. be the best way I would imagine it would. be like your face ID wouldn't it. connected to your Social Security yeah.
like you pick up your phone face ID if. you have an Android you're [ __ ] you. can't vote because you're stupid. I heard something recently about that. that someone's doing a project I have to. look into this a little bit more but uh. it's called like the doppelganger. project he's doing research that there's. something like a thousand people in the. world that have facial features that are. similar to yours and I think close. enough that they could even unlock your. phone really yeah well that Chinese Elon. Musk I bet he could Elon unlock elon's. phone that guy's cool he uh I saw an.
interview with that guy oh yeah yeah. because a lot of people think he's fake. and like AI generated but he had did a. uh he did an interview and what was he. saying he was just saying like I got a. huge fan. banging all these hoes. yeah yeah I don't know about. doppelgangers if that's real there's the. Chinese Elon Musk fake Elon Musk angered. Chinese fans who wanted to meet the real. deal oh what happened there.
oh that's a fake Elon Musk oh they oh. boy. what did he do was it. he's an entrepreneur hosting an event. his magazine says that he was expecting. Elon Musk to attend but he never. guaranteed that they never guaranteed. his presence. fake Elon Musk at event so that's the. fake Elon Musk that guy that's not him. that's a really bad that's a bad Elon. Musk that's so fake. bill. yeah that doesn't even look a little bit. ridiculous yeah but what about the.
Chinese one go to school that's what I. thought I was looking at no it looks. different that's him right there yeah. Jesus that's close it's good that's. pretty goddamn close. I think Elon said that he wants to meet. him he's probably his son. imagine. yeah. [Music]. if you went over there on a jaunt at one. point in time. could be could be. yeah that was a deep figure it's not a.
deep fake no that's what I'm saying. people yeah people think he's a deep. fake that's what was cool of uh come on. Randy doesn't sound like it but no hi. everyone. I'm Yi long me ma money he wants money. I was going to use the money to light. his cigar. ette. wow he does you think you knock unlock. elon's phone huh I don't think he could. but you know I think it's but has there.
been proven cases of someone being able. to unlock someone's phone I think so I. mean my my girlfriend saw a photo of. another girl the other day and thought. it was her you know and. I know but that's like a stereotype. buddy I know but she couldn't tell she. couldn't tell and I was like she's like. I think that's me and I'm like no it's. not. there's like two people that look. various Mothership yeah there's one girl.
that came to one of her shows they got. pictures together it's really creepy. here's some of these doppelganger guys. like these are people I don't think they. even live in the same country. dudes two women they have the same face. not the same here oh wow. whoa. that's similar pretty close man those. two look pretty similar wow. the fact they're not related I go to 100. oh you're her sister. well there's only so many variables with.
facial features right right it's. probably another Ari shafir out there. believe it or not it's probably time. over there how about that cat that looks. like Ari oh that's the best one I found. a new one the other day uh those are. great. Camp Michael lair's son unlock his phone. he looks so much like him uh I don't. know I think I heard that I don't think. they pay for that phone anymore well. even if uh it could be unlocked even if.
you have an evil sibling who looks close. enough to you really be a doppelganger. and is this with Apple phones or with. Android phones with iPhones I'm. interested I mean sometimes my phone's. like on the like the table over there. and it unlocks I'm like how did you even. see me from over here right you know. like it's weird how good it works yeah. like bam let's open right there yeah. here's even on Apple's website my sister. can unlock my phone and we are not twins. whoa oh. so maybe test it I don't know. interesting.
interesting huh I know that um Android. has an unlocked but it's not nearly as. secure because it's not like a 3D image. of your face right so you're probably. unlocked with a photo it's definitely. not as good as face ID but don't you. think like fingerprint's the best. yeah well the face idea I think I never. even think about it you know right. because it just works yeah that's true. yeah I think a finger fingerprint is I. mean they have I'm looking at my. computer right now there's a camera. looking at me they could put face ID on.
it but they have the fingerprint scanner. on it why yeah yeah it's weird. I mean maybe there's another sensor in. there they can't put in top in here I. guess but I don't know what does it it. is annoying though that with iPhones it. takes up so much of your screen real. estate. that island and face ID yeah it's like. that little strip is it's well kind of. whack they're just waiting for the under. uh camera technology to catch up so in. like two years I have a iPhone we'll get. rid of it and what is supposed to be. going on with this Ultra like if they're. gonna have an Ultra phone like what's. the purpose of that.
it's just a bigger one I think that's it. yeah I think that's it it's it's like. better specs because it showed that it. has better better screen right right the. screen has less bezel right I think. that's what that they're just doing what. they're doing right now like the big one. always has a little bit better features. a little bit so they make people buy the. most expensive [ __ ] possible it's Ultra. wide just a physical mock-up yeah so. they could you know make cases and [ __ ]. I don't think that they've leaked any uh. yeah. uses useful use cases or anything but if.
you think about people and like their. desire to always have the latest. greatest most expensive [ __ ] they're all. going to get the ultra that's probably. gonna be the number one selling phone. people I can't believe a 2500 phone is. selling so well especially if they put. one of those like the M1 or M2 I guess. it's M2 Chip that allows you to do Final. Cut or logic if this is what unlocks the. new headset the virtual like the AR. headset then 100 that's going to be like. is the virtual AR headset a guarantee. that's definitely happening supposedly. but yeah next month yeah they have that.
w whatever that thing they do once a. year where Apple releases new stuff and. supposedly it's going to be announced uh. next month and it's going to have like. an external battery pack which is kind. of weird you know you have to wear. something around on your belts or. something. um there's not much really known about. it this is a picture they've shown. that's yeah the best picture I guess. everyone's agreeing is this is what it's. going to look like I gotta piss we'll be. right back do you do the the tea. injection yourself yeah.
I talked to that guy about it the other. day he's like you need to get online you. know you just get it sent to you oh. you're getting your ejections at a. doctor Studio yeah I go once a week. that's ridiculous yeah but that get. tested once a week you know he's making. sure everything's cool and stuff that's. good and I have to get. uh I have to bleed they make me bleed. you know they bleed yeah because there's. like a level in your blood that you have. to get below and you know a lot of blood. it's an extra blood it has something to. do with I don't know what it's called. it's like blood cells like you have to.
like too much white blood cells or one. of the cells that that happens from tea. okay why do there's a video that's gone. around a lot blood I think it's. bloodletting right where they pop. something in your forehead and let the. blood squirt out have you seen that and. I don't know why people do it because. they're dumb maybe but you know what I'm. talking about no no bloodletting from. your forehead yeah okay I thought. because I only know of it I thought it. was somebody talking about here. bloodletting from your forehead that. sounds like leeches that sounds like. some old school [ __ ] yeah bloodletting.
you know what uh what is it called. trepening well they drill holes in the. heads to relieve pressure yeah yeah. Spirits would get in there right I mean. that's [ __ ] it might not be called. bloodletting but this is the video I'm. talking about hold on. oh but that's like [ __ ] Voodoo [ __ ].
why can that why would that be good to. cut your forks out uh why are we. watching that I'm not sure. boy that's a lot yeah and I'd like it's. one of those things look how they have. it blurred out where the blood hits the. pan I can't handle it you can handle it. squirting out of his head but you can't. handle it hitting the pan. yeah that's stupid it's. okay all right I think that's probably. just stupid if I had a guess. I don't know something about recycling.
your blood though right isn't there. that's not recycling yeah this is doing. it into a urinal like what is what is he. doing he's peeing peeing blood out of. his head it's quite common used to treat. pain swelling or other disorders related. to blood congestions. yeah it's like the LA traffic in your. veins. blood congestion so like. so like bloodletting is actually a real. medical procedure I think in the case we. just watched it might have been to. reduce eye swelling.
hmm. yeah I don't know I do know that ever. since I started doing tea I haven't had. hemorrhoid bloody hemorrhoid anymore it. went away and for a year I haven't had. one and I think that was my period from. all the estrogen. like I think I was really having a. period it wasn't a hemorrhoid the whole. time don't you think that some of this. comes from sitting on the toilet reading. your phone yeah but I haven't stopped. doing that. maybe the testosterone has made your. butthole muscles muscles yeah maybe so.
they can handle I thought it was weird. though it seems weird to talk about it. no because I always joke that was my man. period And I think it really was I think. it really was. that's a good thing that's weird. yeah Ari went through that for like most. of his life he still goes through it. okay why I I thought the same thing what. is that about maybe his estrogen is high. maybe it makes sense it does only freaks. out sometimes.
yeah his uh his butt's been bleeding. since he was in high school yeah I. wonder if he gets his butt checked. though because I mean he's gotta had a. lot of a lot of stuff going on there. yeah it can't be good. he's not going to the doctor no you. think so no I don't think so he's always. in [ __ ] Asia yeah backpacking weird. go on his walkabouts not for me yeah. yeah yeah with a bloody butt. bloody butt walking through Asia.
your mom's house he's already explained. like he didn't want to poop because it. was like a waste of time. what when he was younger I don't even. think of that young so he just held his. poop in yeah he just like forced himself. to be constipated she's like once a week. or something oh my God I love pooping. yeah. I'm gonna leave out the rest of the. details of the story that are worse. but yeah it's just all right it gets. re-fied how do you how can one even hold. your poop in I don't get it how long can. you hold it in like if you have to take.
a [ __ ] you have to go right how are you. doing it for days. he's like forcing constipation but that. doesn't even make sense it seems. impossible it also seems really deadly. and we can talk about it next time he's. here but if I remember. why are we even talking about it now. came over here promote red band's Club. I'm not talking about Ari's butt. how many nights a week you guys open. right now we're open every night uh we. have a lot of shows but we also have a.
lot of open mics and we have a lot of. karaoke we've been doing karaoke so it's. fun watching all the comics get wasted. at the end of the night and just get. drunk and do karaoke and uh I. embarrassly did it the other day what'd. you saying so that's the problem my. karaoke song has always been a Creep. Radiohead but that now Chappelle says. that that's his and now I feel weird I. don't want to do it anymore that's like. what do you mean because it's like. because he's known for that he sings it. I know uh it makes me feel weird now. singing it really so I tried Radiohead I.
know I know it's just weird I don't know. okay how about another one so I tried uh. doing lump by presidents of the United. States of America and I [ __ ] up. because uh I forgot how much how fast. that song is and had like lump sad alone. in a buggy Marsh totally motionless and. like it's like halfway through I was. like ah why did I pick this song did you. just bail no I changed my voice to a. high-pitched voice for some reason like. a woman's voice because it'll move yeah.
so I started singing like she's up she's. in my head. it was the most embarrassing thing ever. but karaoke's like that right do you. have do you you just do Kiss songs or AC. I've only done it a couple of times the. one time we did a kiss song at the. Allison yeah no name yeah Morning Show. yeah uh with Sarah no name yeah yeah. what's this house in the morning yeah. what was this oh it was uh love gun love. gun. yeah there's something funny about. singing bad yeah but I don't do it very.
often I'm not interested right it's way. better when you're drunk uh it's the. only time to do it yeah if you're. singing karaoke and you're sober you're. a [ __ ] psychopath. you know you're really into it you're. serious yeah that's true man what's. wrong with you God especially if it's. like a romantic song there's no one even. there like what do you think you do. you're doing Islands in the Stream both. voices there's something weird about. people singing karaoke if no one's. paying attention uh-huh you know yeah.
you know it's like three people at the. bar this one person's by themselves all. serious singing did it start like in the. 90s. well I guess it had to start with. technology right because you had to be. able to see the scroll right I think it. started in the Asian country probably. right karaoke it sounds Japanese yeah. but uh dimples the karaoke place in. Burbank was the first one that moved to. the United States and brought karaoke to. the United States really yeah and then.
they tore it down and made Whole Foods. [Laughter]. yeah karaoke kind of fell out of favor. and then came back into favor like with. Nostalgia right because there was a time. period where karaoke bars were dead yeah. and nothing came back. yeah and now you can get like private. rooms so you could just like you and. like five people have like like a. private room with your own karaoke so. you don't have to like be embarrassing. around everyone else imagine that's what. you want to do with your time.
imagine imagine that's your favorite. thing to do I can't wait we're gonna. karaoke tonight it's my favorite thing. you know. there's a karaoke video game in 1985. right yeah really the guy I was just. looking the history it got uh. there's a the first machine was made in. 1971 and oh wow look how popularized I. think like through the 70s and then 1983. or 86 a Filipino man patented the.
karaoke machine what do you think is. embarrassing what do you think about. things that we do today is going to be. super embarrassing in the future. oh selfies and all that stuff or. why selfies though I don't know like. taking I don't know they're gonna do. that forever you think they're never. going to stop taking pictures of. themselves. it's just hilarious watching people like. try to find the right angle and. right podcast we might look back at.
podcasts like really I don't know. this wouldn't be embarrassing this was. like no enjoyed by millions of people. why would that be embarrassing yeah I'm. trying to think outside the box what you. know like what would be carrying around. a phone is probably going to be it yeah. we're gonna probably think that was. stupid oh my God they just carried her. on the phone they had to type with their. fingers they want the implant how often. do you do text to type or talk to type. not as much as I should I do it all the. time really it's so good. they're so good they're so accurate I do.
it in my car yeah I do it in my car too. but I do it a lot just like it's so much. quicker than than typing it and then as. long as you're not saying something. weird right where it doesn't know what. the [ __ ] you're saying like some weird. name of something or something like that. my problem is like oh you do it for. notes when I think of a joke and I want. to write it down real quick and then I. won't proofread it and then there's like. some weird words in it and it totally. makes me not remember what the joke's. about like wait what you know sometimes. it [ __ ] up too much well apparently.
Google's version of that is better yeah. Google's voice to type is better have. you used it yeah I've used Google do you. still can't you still have a Galaxy yeah. two two galaxies or two uh have the flip. the fold yeah the flip one the small oh. you get the flip one yeah and then I had. the s23 ultra which one do you [ __ ] with. the most uh the s23 ultra yeah that's a. good phone it's great yeah. yeah. yeah hammers are [ __ ] incredible it's.
so amazing that you could film a movie. off a phone now like legitimately film a. movie if you do it right like you could. watch it on television it'd be a great. movie like that's that's completely. possible now and if they do put Final. Cut Pro. on your phone how many movies are going. to be made where it's shot and edited on. an iPhone yeah that's what they're. showing the the Apple trailer for The. Final Cut Pro where they're showing them. use the iPad and film it then edit it. and with the apple pencil like you can. now draw on the film so you can make.
effects like if you want to have like a. pal thing you could like draw the pout. and it will animate the the effect it's. like taking Final Cut Pro to another. level where you can draw on it now and. do effects using your apple pencil oh so. it actually makes it better than having. a computer kinda yeah kind of kind of. unless you have a computer attached to a. tablet like a Wacom or something right. right. what's next it's the neural interface. right that's next yeah absolutely that's. going to be the big big game changer.
um. that's that's going to be weird man. because we're all going to want to do it. because the people that do are going to. have a big advantage. they're going to be just completely. connected to technology. and then who's going to be in control of. that. what. oh because who's going to be in control. of it. I think the wearables you know you know. like this AR VR glasses that Apple's. going to do but not having a phone. anymore and just having glasses on is.
definitely going to be the thing think. about how locked in people are to their. social media you know to their Twitter. like when people get banned from Twitter. like back in the day they were. devastated that was like an exile from. the community but imagine something like. that but that's your brain. like you're locked into this community a. rigid rigid Community where you have to. think and behave in a certain way or you. get exiled. mm-hmm. that's what I eat about oh oh yeah yeah.
I did see this so play it new gameplay. uh proves unrecord is real is this the. name of the game the game is called. unrecorded correct so this is a guy. clearing a room so he's got a pistol in. front of him it looks insanely real yeah. it's like body cam footage angle is how. it's supposed to be designed that's what. it looks like so yeah this trailer came. out and it freaked a lot of people out. they're like this is too real yeah you. guys [ __ ] up this is crazy.
give me some volume. I mean everything from the brass you can. tell it's fake right there that smoke. from the gun but yeah this. this is crossing a line of realism that. is like what are we doing is this a game. or is this a training simulator and they. blur his face is what a fun little. thing they do. this is body cam footage this is.
incredible man. it did recently they'll make a new. version of like a trailer to show people. that this is a game this is made in a. like unreal this isn't footage from a. real cop or someone clearing a building. so this is the unreal four engine this. is five so this is five feet what. they've been doing since we've been. talking about a few times now it get. it's been getting updated probably. monthly with new features and new. additions and new add-ons that are. making the unreal five even better like.
exponentially better all the time. it's a free tool so like I don't know. how much time someone put in this. probably a lot but it could have in. Theory been made by a small group wild. man yeah because a lot of this is just. assets like I want a tire image I want a. keg image. yeah almost like how people was. explained to us he just goes in and. finds assets online and makes stuff you. can start doing this listen I would have. a real problem. [Laughter]. I'm having a real problem just watching.
it yeah and I don't know if it's going. to be in VR which I would imagine oh yes. but it will be this kind of gameplay you. can easily make VR why is the person's. face blurred because it's supposed to be. a body cam footage and you're supposed. to be watching you know uh the the the. the look of like we're watching this in. court you know you know what I mean it's. like what it did look. it's a little not as clear. oh it sounds like updated in a 4K wow. which means that like yeah the trees the. sky the the building textures why do you.
think the metaverse didn't take off why. was that a colossal failure uh well it's. because it's I mean look you know the. Zuckerberg's version of the metaverse is. that none of no one has legs like. everyone looks like Nintendo Wii. characters and stuff and it's goofy. where you look at like something like VR. chat which I use we you could be. anything you want you could have a scan. of you and make it look super realistic.
so when you're talking to somebody you. look like you're talking to a real. person but but like that see that's a. actually a woman that used her phone and. scanned Her Image into an avatar and it. that's the stuff that's cool and. unfortunately Zuckerberg and all those. guys have been pushing this like. ridiculous Nintendo Wii now this was to. be just so this was sucker this is. meta's right right right right right. right right but but that's the metaverse. that you know he's not selling this. metaphors right you know he's selling.
this silly version of it so what's the. silly versions the fact you have to. headset could you just type in like like. you know the Oculus yeah or whatever. this is. that's the stuff that what he's showing. is more closer to what I'm using right. now and that's you know VR chat this is. see like look at all these goofy. characters. like. see you have no legs you look like a. little cart it looks like for kids you. know and what you were just watching. like with that uh other image that is. coming sooner you know that's the kind.
of stuff that's already out there and. and uh that I use you know I I could be. a realistic person I could be a cartoon. character I could be anything I want I. have legs this is just like I don't know. for kids it's very kids is this is not. the only thing that was available right. correct like this is just to like hang. out and talk to people I guess right but. this is what Zuckerberg like the. metaverse this is his like where you're. spending billions of dollars thinking. this kind of thing's gonna take off and. you know so here's something that I. asked someone over a year ago that I.
didn't understand because we hadn't seen. the AI stuff. um. there's spaces like this where I'll try. to pull it back up on the screen when. this guy is like floating around in here. this is not how they did it I'll be. honest with you but this always explain. to me when you're when you're in that. world you could it shows like a missile. silo or something you could be like nope. don't make that a missile silo I want to. be on a beach you just say that and I'll. go okay yeah I got a beach it's like no. it's too cartoony make it more realistic. right and it'll be like more realistic. Beach and that's how some of the.
metaverse stuff is supposed to be it's. not here yet though and I don't know how. long it's gonna take to get here but. isn't a barrier to entry just the. putting on goggles. that's a lot of people don't want to do. that right well it's also makes people. sick uh and also you know a lot of. problems and that's mostly based off uh. uh frame rate uh so like if you're. you're using something that is poorly. made like software like a a nap and you. put it on and it's the frame rate's [ __ ].
then you're just gonna get sick. immediately or is it too low a frame. rate yeah too low a frame rate you start. getting sick so it just confuses you. yeah it just makes you feel like uneasy. like you know when you're spinning on a. carnival ride or something and your. stomach starts getting that makes sense. where if your mind if your eyeballs are. seeing something that's blurry and. [ __ ] your mind might say oh my God. you're sick you should throw up exactly. you ate something bad you're dying right. yeah yeah and here's something I'll show. you it's tough there's not a lot of. content and Facebook may be [ __ ] up.
by not showing the stuff more so Canon. made this dual fish eye lens I'm pretty. sure it's the only one that's out there. right now right that allows you to shoot. content to be watched in these headsets. and when it's done right which hasn't. been done right very much but when it is. done right. It's [ __ ] amazing it is wild how cool. it looks but there's not a lot to look. at right now and you have to put the. headset on to see it right but it's. things in front of you look like you. should just Reach Out And Touch them and. they're in high definition quality it. seems like every iteration of these.
things we're always waiting for the one. that's like that's it like if you go. back to when VR was first talked about. was like the 80s and 90s remember they. thought that that was going to be a. thing you put on the goggles you're in. another world but technology wasn't. really there and then all of a sudden. with oculus and with the HTC Vive okay. we're getting real close now we're. getting real close but it's still like. not quite that's what that's what yeah. that's what they think apple is going to. do with their headset it might that it's.
going to be that cool supposedly so this. is a VR in the 90s yeah they probably. thought this is the beginning we're. getting ready and this is this is going. to be the future to use this you had to. be in a big pod like those pods we. almost want to use now but the Pod was. just to track you like if you went out. of the Pod it wasn't reading you. anything inside the Pod it read and you. had to have all sorts of cables and. wires and things connected to you still. though where did they have this at they. did a Cosi okay so this is in the 90s. and here we are 2023. it's it's still.
not quite you would have thought that. would have taken off I forgot about that. that's what the guy that's what the. headset looks like. which they still have these things and. you know arcades all over the place the. graphics got a little better but one of. the things they think they're going to. be able to do is recreate psychedelic. experiences they think they're going to. be able to make a VR psychedelic. experience so you could trip balls. without having to do any drugs and it'll. have the same effect on your mind I do. it a pretty good version of it like all. the time yeah yeah the thing I play all.
the time I have a character that you. could do DMT acid mushrooms and stuff. like that and you take it and you start. you start seeing a little bit of trails. on your hands and then the more you. start seeing more Trails like it's. pretty good and you can do DMT where. there's like [ __ ] like Buddhas coming. out of the ground like like that look. like lasers and [ __ ] yeah it's sometimes. we'll just listen to music get high and. just do that for hours. and what what what are you using what is. this looks like unreal but someone's. made of a shrimp trip yeah.
oh wow this just goes on for a few. minutes yeah there's just different. visuals and stuff how many grams did you. say that yeah see oh I love that. lighting effect where it's like clouds. Shadows maybe this is a real video then. they've [ __ ] with it yeah I think this. is a real dog yeah yeah this is a real. video. the dog knows you're tripping that's. cool. so what are you using I I'm using VR. chat which is like the good version of.
what Zuckerberg's trying to do and VR. chat is connected how like you're using. a PC it's free you can actually use an. Oculus for it you're not going to get. that great of Graphics but I'm using. like a really high-end PC and a valve. index headset and uh it's a VR chat's. free and it's kind of like you know you. just download it you make your character. or whatever and then you go hey I want. to go to Disneyland or hey I want to go. buy on a beach you know and you just. type in beach and it's like Google and. they'll show you all the worlds you can. go to and then you go there meet up with.
your friends you know do acid on the. beach or whatever and the graphics are. really high-end oh yeah it's there's you. know it's it's each level is made by a. different person so there's like good. versions of it and bad versions of it. realistic versions of it so this is like. the real Cutting Edge yeah this is what. this is what. you know this is way more popular times. a lot you know than Zuckerberg stuff. really and this is how many people are. using this uh it's one of the largest uh.
the user base of a multiplayer game on. Steam there is another thing which I. don't like you're you're hung up on that. headset you don't maybe today you do but. you're not going to have to use the. headset you'll be able to play with me. and Brian if we have our headsets on. just through a browser like this like. you oh you can do that right now yeah. you don't have to put the heads up yeah. oh so you can play it like a video game. yeah or a chat room now what is the best. version of Graphics like these things. are all made by different people right. so what's the best version so if if I.
were to uh play this right now with you. I have bookmarked like all these worlds. so like I have the best world to go to. if you want to be in a beach best world. if you want to be on the moon best you. know so uh like look at this bar you can. this kind of has good lighting and stuff. but you know it almost looks like a nice. realistic bar uh and look at that. character see like that's somebody that. scanned themselves it looks like yeah. obviously yeah weird. and so now you look back at what we were. just watching with Zuckerberg's you know. metaverse and it's so silly compared to.
this you know like graphic Wise It's. like. it could be anything in your wine yeah. but isn't the metaverse stuff the the. Zuckerberg stuff capable of doing things. like this yeah it's just it that's why. people why it's not working though like. look at that that looks like a real ice. bin for popsicles you know like at a. convenience store you know that's not. the graphics you're seeing on on. Zuckerberg Zuckerberg's it's very. cartoony very kids kind of feeling yeah. but is that for all of them or just. different software applications well.
like you could play this on the headset. you know but the metaverse is the. Facebook like they're trying to get you. into that metaverse world and that's. what's failing but it's other stuff in. the metaverse like with those the Oculus. that they're hap that they have um they. have these virtual tours yeah yeah but. that's not that's not like the metaverse. that's like you can you can play the. headset's just like a computer pretty. much so you can download anything on it. you know that we're so the metaverse is. like a Walled Garden metaverse is like.
what we were just watching in your chat. where it's kind of like a chat that's. the real metaverse but what what. Zuckerberg was trying to do you're. saying is like a Walled Garden like they. were making it very specific to these. apps they were going to have these kind. of cartoony things right it's it it's. the metaverse is. doing it through all these characters. and stuff like that. I don't know. it's hard to it's so hard to explain. because it's uh they made it confusing. as [ __ ] you know but if anybody can't.
explain if you can't explain it nobody. can expect right that's a lot of the. problem you know. it's vr's taking off the metaverse is. just not taken off because. Facebook wants you to live inside their. world you know and it's a world that. they create right so that's what I mean. by right yeah well yeah yeah so it's all. their stuff and it's also a very. stylistic I kind of feel like if I've. been having the problem if I haven't. come across anything yet that like Brian. and I couldn't explain or show you in. less than three minutes.
so like I'm like I don't know it seems. close but it seemed close for four years. so yeah that's what I'm saying like with. every iteration of the virtual reality. world it's like this is gonna be it but. it's not it's not I don't know how much. the pandemic would have slowed down. production I feel like it did [ __ ] up. some stuff well they were all working in. offices doing stuff messing with these. headsets because they have shown some uh. behind like uh there's a video of. Zuckerberg has I think on 60 Minutes. they were showing someone behind the. scenes prototype headsets they have a.
thing that's uh it sticks out from the. head like the eye area it's ultrasonic. sound waves that are pointed at your. mouth. and the the lady that they had tried me. was a guy they said they could feel. raindrops on their on their mouth Jesus. and that was recreated with sound waves. yeah physically touching like touching. you but that's not anything they have. commercially available it's just like an. in-house demo. and that sounds [ __ ] cool too but it. seems like it's the neural link it seems. like it's some sort of neural interface. when that that hits then all this [ __ ].
is going to make sense and that's even. scarier because you don't know what. you're seeing is real or not you know. that's a sci-fi movie Shoot you're gonna. walk right off the top of a building. exactly yeah you get hacked somehow or. trolled and like you go into traffic you. know yeah. that's scary as [ __ ] well I mean the. future is always going to be scary when. it comes to things like this things just. technology in general there's going to. be some mistakes they also announce new. Black Mirror episodes coming that are. going to get priced guaranteed somewhere.
I can't wait. I haven't watched all the ones that. exist same I can't get anybody to watch. them with me I have to watch them by. myself. [Laughter]. I got a truck out to the woods yeah. are you gonna move closer or anything. I'm going I think I might get a like a. studio apartment downtown or something. yeah just because there's just why not. just have like a nice little Studio. and uh friends in town they could use it. you know but then I could also like hey.
it's two in the morning might as well. just stay here I have to be here. tomorrow you know yeah that's a lot of. people love that like Tony loves living. down there yeah he loves it I don't know. if I want to live there all the time. though some people love that urban urban. sort of experience yeah I mean you've. always been a suburb guy me too yeah my. neighborhood's so quiet everyone's. working or you know at nine o'clock it's. pitch black like it's quiet and Pitch. Black I could just go out there and hear. nothing except animals you know yeah I.
like that me too I think living in the. city is probably fun but you know Tony's. like he just wants to do stand up every. day just wants to just yeah roll out of. his place go to a Starbucks get a coffee. yeah some people are like that you know. I'm more I like relaxation and uh every. time I go to New York City I always. imagine could I live here I'm always. like I don't think I would like it I. could never live there some people. that's the only thing they love they. love it more than anything they love. like Ari he loved the energy he loves. being around all the people I I also.
don't like living in buildings like like. you know like we live in like a tall. building stuff I don't like that feeling. you know birding Inferno the time when. we were in the hotel fire. oh yeah yeah [ __ ] that [ __ ] [ __ ] that. [ __ ] that's a scary moment yeah and. people are walking too slow down the. stairs and you're just ready to go over. the top of these [ __ ] dude I. was panicking yeah should be remember we. went down to like the second floor and. we saw that smoke and it was just the. fire extinguisher or something yeah that.
was weird yeah that's what it was some. jackasses got drunk and set off a fire. extinguisher and then. get everybody out of the entire [ __ ]. building enjoy it is I took the elevator. dog I don't care. like a doctor. I would probably take an elevator too. probably doesn't seem like the worst. idea as long as the power doesn't go out. right you know it seems like that's some. kind of myth that they don't want. everyone to pile into the elevator or. something or I don't know you get stuck. there if you lose power or something.
yeah you don't want to get stuck you. don't want to get stuck in the elevator. if it loses power that makes the most. sense yeah and then the building's on. fire you can't get out oh Jesus yeah. maybe that's it. did you see the video of the elevator. the counterweight. [ __ ] up no you know instead of going. down like a lot of elevators you're. afraid of yeah [ __ ] it went up at a high. speed really show the video it's [ __ ]. up I hate elevator even in the elevator. at the mothership I refuse to go away.
yeah I don't even if it's any kind of. elevator elevator the mothership is so. slow it seems broken right if you got. that [ __ ] checked maybe we did it got it. totally fit it's all totally replaced. wow eight years old I don't know if this. is I think it is it was an old video. yeah it is it is it just went viral. again yeah. it gets on and look it's just [ __ ]. going out of control because it goes up. 30 floors in 15 seconds. oh my gosh there's no sound. show the crazy part.
that would freak me the [ __ ] out. what was the crazy part uh that like you. see it crash. they're not going to show the garage. part here I don't know why. I can't handle it there's another one. oh baby. boom oh Jesus. so it gets all the way to the top and he. gets oh [ __ ] he got wrecked [ __ ]. is that guy alive I don't know this has.
been going around there's a lot of. people standing near trains I've been. seeing they're like walking next to a. train they just get jacked by the train. like they're walking too close to it for. social media posts they're saying look. how the door opened but the elevator's. still moving [ __ ] bro. no. I wouldn't even know what to do. I would probably lay on the ground what. can you do boom when you hit the top. that that dude must be dead ah. so I've never seen that to happen before. that scared the [ __ ] out of me after I. saw it elevators are [ __ ] terrifying. solar escalators people fall through and.
get chewed up by the gears I never. thought about that but then that one. video came out the woman falling through. oh that's why regulations are important. kids you need regulators. when it comes to that kind of [ __ ]. inspectors. all right Brian redband let's Wrap This. [ __ ] Up. um tell everybody the club name Sunset. Strip Comedy Club it's on uh Sixth. Street next door to Joe's club and it's. Sunset Strip ATX we have the roast. battle now uh we have a bunch of shows I.
bring in my secret show there starting. the 18th of this month. um we have a lot of people from out of. town and this [ __ ] and friends tonight. Sarah weinshank nice they were just on. the podcast yesterday yeah oh yeah. holtzman's going to be there Saturday. Casey rocket and David Lucas nice. beautiful. it's awesome it's awesome good luck with. that thanks buddy uh let everybody know. what's the website uh Sunset. stripatx.com okay and.
um Red Band right on everything yeah on. Twitter Instagram do you still use. Facebook. uh about politics no I don't really use. Facebook too much once in a great while. just use it to check in on it are you. [ __ ] with any of the other ones like. what's your profile on Truth social I. try to get truth but their servers were. down really yeah and I never got it blue. skies are what I'm trying to get an. invitation code hey suck that's the. Dorsey one or no no yeah yeah yeah. Dorsey give me that invitation code what. are they doing with the blue sky is that.
blue skies Twitter have you seen the. screenshots of it it looks just like. Twitter and I'm down I'm down yeah I'm. down I like Jack what is uh what is he. doing differently with it I don't think. there's anything different I think he. pretty much just it's the way the back. end Works remember how one someone was. just sitting here explaining that you. could take all of your [ __ ] with you I. forget maybe I'm mine Adam Curry no uh. right that whole back end stuff that was. way over my head yeah something like. that as they have ability to take all.
your content with you if you want to. leave interesting try to find a picture. of it but it's not showing on there yeah. it's supposed some sort of decentralized. uncensored. version of it yeah see it looks exactly. like oh my God yeah and it has a repost. thing the graphics are the same and I. think you know I think Jack uh changed. his tune on Elon and I think that's why. he's doing this really yeah. yeah a lot of people soured on Elon he.
announced yesterday that Twitter's DMS. are gonna turn encrypted starting like. today or something interesting takes so. no one not even I could see it if. there's a gun to my head interesting and. that's something about phone calls or. he's a fan. it's a trap yeah I don't think he's. afraid I think he's an alien yep if. anything all right um that's it let's. wrap it up. um sunsetrip atx.com Red Band on social. media yep check out Secret Show it's. moving there next Thursday the 18th.
beautiful everything all right bye. everybody. [Music].
