Joe Rogan Experience #1973 - Joey Diaz

Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe. Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan. podcast by night all. day at Jamie looking. yolked like a. [ __ ] hitting balls across the. [ __ ] desert yeah he's addicted to. that golf you should see him out there. with the simulator just he told me he. was out in the back good for him man w w. you still won't hit a golf ball I've hit. a couple golf balls I just going to play.

golf okay I'm scared of what get. addicted to it they're all addicted Ron. White Tony hinchcliff him all these guys. they just they're addicted look at him. he's over there Jones got the bug they. go every day you guys go every day he. he's on the simulator every day theing. [ __ ] can whack a golf ball it's. like shooting jump shots though you got. to practice the jump shot yeah you got. to practice the jump shot wet. yeah tremendous tremendous how long does. it take you to do 22 [ __ ] years.

Jesus and then I hooked up with Erica. Florentine Jimmy's niece and she put it. all together for me I'm happy I did and. got it over with nice I got all that. [ __ ] off my [ __ ] chest Joey Diaz is. an author look at. this I bet this is great I've heard most. of these stories I'm. sure but I don't know what you you know. you I always think I've heard all the. [ __ ] stories and then another one. pops up you're if you really could like. document everything you've been through.

in your life like no one would believe. it they don't believe it people still. sometimes don't believe some of those. stories yeah we're oh good to see you uh. the one thing that writing it and. reading it I did the audio book oh nice. I did the audio how was that good and. everybody said it's going to suck BL. blah I go give me three hours a day give. me a space in between and I'll go in. there and just knock it I knocked it off. in two and a half weeks nice but once I. read it like you know cuz it's been on.

your head for a long time and [ __ ] once. I read it I only got one thing out of. this book I got my money's. worth when they picked me for a life I. got my money's worth whether it was good. or bad you know what I'm saying whether. it was good or bad I got my money's. worth out of this life if I get hit by a. plane tonight I'm good and that's what. seriously that's what I came up with. Adventures [ __ ] stories how many I. was The Biggest Loser how many times I. started over if you read that book I.

must have started over 60 times you know. just move pick up move and go to another. town and Rob them blind and then pick. them up and go back and for I was like a. [ __ ] yo-yo man yeah I was very. unsettled you were unsettled when I met. you very it was so funny because I. remember I was I was talking to some. guys the other night in The Green Room. about when I met you I was like I had. come to LA and I was just so not used to. actors I was so not used to those kind. of people but I was so used to like.

comics and degenerate phoh haul people. and then I met you and I was like oh I. know you I knew you I knew you right. away you and I became friends like that. quickly like that I remember like. there's so many people that got weirded. out by you it was so funny when I bring. you around like news. radio with the love jacket Joey would go. with Joey was build like a football. player back then and you would go into.

the [ __ ] The Green Room where all the. the executives and you eating all the. shrim cocktail and they were like they. were scared to say anything because like. the that room was separated from. everybody else's green room so they had. their own thing where they go in there. and everything was catered and beautiful. and champagne and and you just strolled. in there and started eating shrimp. cocktail they're like who is this. criminal looking fellow who's eating a. shrimp cocktail well they had the table. with the the regular food and I remember. they had chili M I'll never forget that.

they had the best chili in the world I. was broke I was hungry and I must ate 10. bowls of it and then I looked over and. there's all these little white dudes. with you know haahaha you know I'm like. what the [ __ ] and they had the jumbo. shrimp and the thing so I walked right. in there right past them they're like. and I just started mingling with him. great show great. strip tremendous actor Andy Dick and. that was it and then they came to you. and you would dying a laugh you're like. Joey you can't they just won't and then. the time with the man show oh yeah yeah.

we had some times with that. one I think the first like eight years. you were like I don't know if I can. handle this guy what are you talking. about I did my best do you remember. stand up New York with susman when I. went off on the. owner you remember that oh yeah during a. for Fear Factor we went in there and. he's like you're not going to get a spot. tonight I go I didn't ask for a [ __ ]. spot you [ __ ] he just looked at me in. susp was like what the [ __ ] [ __ ] Joey I.

didn't like that dude so uh but no at. the beginning I know that you were like. shaking your head a lot this guy's not. yeah but it made me comfortable I I love. being around you because you you I I. know people like you I understand you. like I didn't understand actors it was. it make me so uncomfortable cuz I never. knew who they really were I never knew. what they really thought they were never. like present with you not all of them. you know but it was just like there was. enough of them out there that were. trying to make it in Hollywood and there. were putting on a show for everybody.

everywhere they went so you never really. knew who they were you know with you I. was like right away I was like oh I know. guys like you like right away it was. rough those couple years because I would. go to meetings and stuff and people go I. don't know yeah you were rough you were. rough rough I was like I don't know and. then I remember I went to. HBO somebody got me a meeting at HBO. like in. 98 and I had no success at all like I. wasn't having any success at all except.

for the comedy store and I went to that. meeting and something like I went with. like actors and agents you know how. proper they are like this is an idea. about the future this show and I could. just take it for so long and I just. went and I talked about growing up in a. funeral parlor picking up bodies going. to [ __ ] a JFK and bringing the bodies. back and slinging them in the mouth the. guy's body the mouth would open on the. body cuz my friend had a funeral par and.

they were like hold on one second this. is stunning and I just started going off. on them and they're like we want to hear. more put these together in notes for me. and I was like okay and then after the. new year I gave him the notes and I was. on fire like I didn't tell anybody about. this some guy hit pocket at me and took. me to a meeting and that was six feet. under oh so we were on like I was like. okay okay and they were like we don't. know if this going to work but then they. turned me down they go we like the idea. funeral ideas haven't worked after this.

went on for like two months and then 6. months later [ __ ] six feet under came. out they just took your idea I don't I. don't think they took my idea that. happens all the time I thought they had. in development but my idea was. completely different it was about two. huls who worked at a funeral Paul right. it wasn't about whatever that show. turned out but I think this the concept. is just constantly handling dead. people there's something about that that. never was really covered before that's. got to affect the way people see life I.

remember the first time I saw my. grandfather was in an open casket and. the first time I saw his body I remember. immediately it was very interesting. because one of the first things I felt. was like oh he's not there you know like. it's not just that someone's not alive. anymore like he wasn't. there I that was when I I I started. wondering I wonder if a soul is a real. thing I wonder what that is that that. that concept of what is the force inside. of someone that causes them to be alive. you sense it when you're around them cuz.

the strange thing about dead bodies is. not just that they're a human body. that's dead it's also there's no one. there you know what I'm saying like you. have a feeling that's very intangible. there's a feeling when you're around a. person like there's a person there when. the person is not there it's like well. he's not there anymore there's no energy. there's nothing coming from the body. there's no nothing it's not as simple as. the heart's not beating and the lungs. aren't catching oxygen it's something. more it's like you feel it you know I. don't know if it's real and it's also.

when you're looking at a a body that's. um in an open casket it's been drenched. in from alahi and covered in makeup it's. very odd very odd now they say that when. you die you lose how much pounds that's. I don't think that's real that's 21. Grams I think yeah 21 gram that's a. movie that dude made Let's see if that. is that what was that based on that was. based on some sort of a study but from. what I understand it's not. real I don't think your soul would weigh. anything why would it have to weigh. weigh anything it's just a spirit yeah.

like it's just an energy does. electricity weigh anything you know you. want me to tell you something man I grew. up going to a lot of wakes early on when. you watch The Sopranos they go to a wake. every other week New Jersey you're in a. wake every other week I've been to I've. been there three years and I've already. could have gone for like 18 wakes I've. been to maybe two or three of them but. in three years that's wakes are big but. you look at the whole process of. awake I would never let my daughter to. go to awake now until she's 18 just.

because the effects it did to me I don't. remember my father's wake but I remember. my friends wakes from grammar school and. I remember my mother's wakes and those. three wakes [ __ ] me up to the point. where somebody else died when I was like. a a junior or a senior in high school. and I didn't go to that wake like I was. like I'm enough with I've had enough. with wakes I don't think it's healthy I. don't know for me it wasn't I got. exposed to it at a young age and it just. it wasn't healthy man it [ __ ] with me.

for a long time I watched The Exorcist. it didn't [ __ ] with me as long as those. as much as those caskets [ __ ] with me. so when my buddy had the funeral po. years later I volunteered for the job. because I didn't want to have that. creepiness between us and that. eliminated I saw how he responded to it. it was like an everyday thing it was. like you lifting kettle bells him. picking up a dead body putting him down. you know I saw how he you get numb you. numb to that yeah that's that's the you.

know but it's so weird how it's like the. number one career to get into and no get. into think about it it pays off the bat. like off the bat if you go to to school. for uh EMB bombing School whatever they. call it it's like a funeral director. whole thing they cover everything it's. like a year if you don't go to college a. year a year to make hundred and. something. thousand think about it that's not bad. yeah if you're want to work with dead.

people if you want to work with dead. people my friend fop paa had a fireman. that did the. embomb so he would just come in and do. the. embomb you know 400 a body whatever I. don't know what it's done during the. embomb it's very sacred I know they. break the spine they drain the blood. they fill you with from Malahide and. [ __ ] but that whole process and then you. go back and look at like the. Aztecs and how they did the Chinese they. put you on a boat and they float you. away they celebrate this the Vikings did.

it right the Vikings did like that. [ __ ] on Fire Light them on fire. everybody had their own thing which is. very interesting every the Aztecs this. that everybody had their own way of. dealing with it yeah so we were on the. right path I just don't think of going. in there and sitting with a dead body. for 3 hours and looking at him is. healthy and then I heard stories from. Cuba where they had no inbombing fluids. and you would have to bury uh your body. would die and you would have to wake at. your home.

oh like in the 40s 20s they had wakes of. people's homes yeah without the. inbombing fluid and at one point the. [ __ ] hand would pop up and you'd have. to break the arm to put the casket down. because once that rig of Mor sets in. that arm that's a straight that's. [ __ ] straight strength you're not. you're not just going to bend that arm. in and and and do an arm bar or a camora. it's not going to [ __ ] happen so they. have to break the arm to put the arm. down so when I was a kid my mother would. always go over your mother your arm pops.

up and you green your [ __ ] casket so. I decided I'm not going to hit my mom. [ __ ] that I'm going to walk into [ __ ]. hell with your arm up like Hitler you. know your mother [ __ ]. you you're the first person to tell me. about the scams of the whole Mortuary. industry about how much money they get. you for like no matter even if you want. to get an bombing you still or even if. you want to get uh someone cremated you. still have to get them in balmed you. still have to film up withal you were.

explaining the caskets so they like. guilt you into getting a nicer casket oh. yeah what do you want you you want to be. buried in four pieces of wood or you. want the Cadillac of caskets how weird. is that I got one with a sunroof it's. you know they got everything now but how. weird is it that people give a [ __ ] what. the box looks like that they bury you in. so strange the what the things that. people do to show that they cared when. someone was. alive buy a fancy box to put him in.

like if that's me save your money me too. yeah I remember I had that joke just. buried me in the yard my friend that's. how you're his uncle died and they. wanted 15 grand and I'm like you got a. yard that's huge that was an old joke in. you know you got a hard 15,000 not only. that then then the person gets cycled. back into life you become a part of the. Earth again cuz like what we're doing is. very unnatural we stop the body from. decaying so you stop bacteria from. eating it you stop the soil from being.

enriched by it it's all a natural part. of the cycle of Life of all living. things and we've removed ourselves from. it we've removed ourselves from it you. know and you could say well was a good. thing because you ever watch that HBO. show with Dr Michael badden autopsy. sometimes they exume people and they. find out that the wife really did it and. you ever watched that show [ __ ] yeah. that [ __ ] show was amazing we've had. numerous conversations in fact they took. Biden that that what was his name. Michael Bowden Michael bden B he was. retired they took him back to get the.

autopsy for on Epstein that dude and. they found out that he has a he had a. fracture in his neck that was indicative. of being strangled with a ligature like. or like some sort of a [ __ ] cord yeah. and that that this wasn't like when. people hang themselves when they hang. themselves the weight of it goes up cuz. your body is hanging down so it's like. you're getting pulled this was down on. his neck like low like someone strangled. him from behind and his throat the Bon. in his neck were fractured which is also.

like a ligature. strangulation isn't that weird how that. just went down it's still going down. like disappeared like it g they put. galain in jail and they never released a. client list that that is. insane the fact that that's okay with. people and you know everybody's freaking. out about Bud Light okay you care about. Bud Light care about bu light you should. really care about that cuz it's showing. that people that are in power can. probably have people killed and probably.

hide evidence that they did something. that people would find atrocious like. that and we just never questioned it. yeah he died we know was he know we knew. was the [ __ ] mystery man I think it's. good there more of that the more of that. [ __ ] that's out there the more people. realize how [ __ ] ridiculous it is to. think that these people that are in. positions of power give a [ __ ] about you. they don't that's why I don't [ __ ] with. politics don't [ __ ] with politics I. don't it's not necessary I don't I don't. because at the end of the day don't. matter it don't give two [ __ ] about you.

I just went off at a restaurant Sunday. some lady I don't know why people do. this some couple asked me if I was a. [ __ ]. Republican a couple asked you that yeah. I was at a restaurant you know you had a. bar and you're eating there's a couple. next to you and you're talking you're. watching a game and she goes uh are you. a Republican or a Democrat and I looked. at I I'm a felon and she just [ __ ] she. goes what are you talking about I go. listen I don't play that [ __ ] okay lady. I go oh you [ __ ] [ __ ] have. gotten too political the last 10 years.

everybody's a political analyst I go I. got hit in ' 66 and I always paid. attention to elections and what people. said I always did and after by the time. I was 18 I realized you know what these. people come along every four years with. the same [ __ ] story and nothing gets. done so I chose a different path for my. life instead of focusing on that call me. when the president who says listen you. don't have to go to work and you're. going to get your balls licked all day. that's what I'm voting for until that. [ __ ] time I could care less because. still got to get up and be a thief every.

[ __ ] day I still got to get up and. hustle every [ __ ] day so what what. good is it every day they're going to. lower taxes they're going to do this. they're going to do that and I'm still. getting up busting my [ __ ] hump hump. every [ __ ] day what who gives a [ __ ]. I think a bad president is very bad but. I think a good president you just take. for granted and you don't think anything. you just go by OB was very good there. was a lot of great presents to we had. you know but but it makes the country. safer if someone makes good decisions if.

someone's a good figurehead the problem. when someone isn't whether it was Trump. or whoever it was when when people mock. them and are angry at them it's just. it's bad for morale it's bad for. everybody I saw all that [ __ ] you don't. I saw at the last two or three. presidents how much as Americans we. backbite when I was a kid we didn't. backbite that much didn't back bite like. the president like the Pres attack the. president yeah attack the president that. much there was a lot of people that. hated Kennedy right like that was one of. the things about when he got.

assassinated there was a lot of people. that were very. happy that's one of the kinkiest things. in our history oh my God who was happy. for sure the Republicans there was a lot. of Republicans that did not like him it. was after the Bay of Pigs there was a a. lot going on with him and you know he. had all this talk about secret societies. the being abor and he wanted to disband. the. CIA that [ __ ] wanted to get us. out of Vietnam like Kennedy was a.

different cat he was a different cat and. you know for all of his uh sexual. proclivities and all you know all the. documented things of him being a freak. they're all freaks that's why those. people became presidents in the first. place that's why they wanted power there. were men who wanted power and men who. wanted power were all like you know like. your stereotypical man in power like. that's it's there's a reason why that. stereotype exists but when you look at. what he was trying to do for the country.

and trying to unite people and the the. speeches that he gave to this day. they're [ __ ] incredible civil rights. every he pissed off a lot of people even. talking about going to the Moon just the. way he phrased it we choose to go to the. Moon not because it's easy because it is. hard like he talked about that like like. he wanted it it to be like a symbol of. American excellence he wanted to like. set a tone for the.

country they shot his ass he dropped. those be he [ __ ] you know those Cubans. feel like he [ __ ] them yes the Bay of. Pigs Cubans feel like I think there was. I don't understand that story totally. I've been told several different. versions of it that he was double. crossed that they pulled out support. they pulled out their support at the. last minute yeah he I don't know you. know I've heard I've heard he was an. idiot and I've heard he was a piece of. [ __ ] and I've heard no he got [ __ ] so.

it's like I would have to go do a deep. dive you know it's very difficult when. you're reading um some versions of. History because there you could read a. lot of versions of history that treat. the Lee Harvey oswal lone assassin story. as if it's plausible you could read a. lot of versions of that well you go oh. yeah I guess. so but then you'll read you know David. lifton's book best evidence and you'll. be like there's no [ __ ] way they. killed him they killed him they killed. him they [ __ ] just get that out way. they killed him they didn't just kill.

him Joey for sure someone in the CIA had. something to do with it because of Jolly. West's involvement Jolly West was the. guy that was the head of NK Ultra he was. the guy that dosed up um Manson and he. they ran the um hate ashbery free clinic. the CIA ran a free clinic in San. Francisco for [ __ ] decades and then. they ran operation midnight climax where. they would dose up J's with acid these.

guys would go into brothel they dose. them they think they go to have sex and. the the woman would give them a drink. and they're drinking acid and they just. get dosed up and then they'd study these. guys they did some wild freaky [ __ ] and. one of the things that he did when he. got when Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey. Oswald he went to visit Jack Ruby in. prison and from that moment on Jack Ruby. lost his [ __ ] mind he was hiding. underneath the bed saying the Jews are.

being incinerated they're coming to kill. us all he was tripping balls I think. they just dosed that guy into a [ __ ]. coma and then after they dosed him into. a coma they gave him cancer and he was. dead like within a. year wow and they're all it's all. connected it's all connected and the the. idea that no one was involved in that. assassination other than Lee Harvey. oswal that doesn't make any sense even. if Lee Harvey Oswald was the only one. who pulled the trigger even if that Lee. Harvey o was traveling back and forth to.

Russia he lived in Russia he's married. to a Russian woman like the fact that. this in the middle of the Cold War. they're not investigating this guy. they're not get the [ __ ] out I he was a. py bro I think they set him up from A to. Z somebody was giving them money letting. them know it's interesting cuz when. listen you don't want to base yourself. on stupid things but remember that. speech that that dude gave Kevin Cosner. which one and JFK. yes what was the guy's name he was he's.

the guy Donald Sutherland Donald guy. from Invasion of the Body Snatchers the. guy that [ __ ] got offered a deal. for animal house he would have been like. $1 million he took the $10,000 one. payment really yeah I read that. somewhere I still love Donald. southernland Donald southernland was a. bad [ __ ] but that speech he gave. southerland's dad ke for how they. already had information on he go that. guy got shot in within 10 minutes they. already had a whole background on this.

guy MH you know and then he showed him. the newspapers how could the paper come. out in Brussels I don't remember the. whole thing but all that made a lot of. [ __ ] sense yeah newspapers were. already reporting stories on him on him. on him who he was what his background. was yeah I think he was a py and very. interesting thing I started listen you. know when people tell you to watch your. show yeah and you're like I don't want. to watch that [ __ ] show but people. tell you constantly watch that show. watch that show I recently put on a show. I didn't know what to expect Joe Rogan.

un [ __ ] real what is it Godfather AR. o what's that not about I haven't heard. anything not about what you think it's. that dude that played uh Fast Times of. Ridgemont High the brother that goes. after Shawn Penn the big dude Forest. Whitaker the okay [ __ ] great. actor uh Nigel is they're already on. season 3 prequel to American Gangster I. think I just oh this show so it's about.

that guy that Denzel Washington played. yes so this show but it's not what you I. don't want you to think oh Joey showed. up here with the this show first of all. the first season basically by bohamad. Ali in. Harlem how he hooked up with uh what's. his name Ma uh K ma Malcolm X and they. really told him listen you are G you. your name is Muhammad Ali but we're not. going to change it till you win the.

championship the title because you'll. lose the white sponsors the white devil. and all this [ __ ] he was already with. them but not only that story it talks. about civil rights it goes through when. they shot Kennedy what they saw like in. Chicago how they knew for sure it was. the mob in the CIA that killed Kennedy. they talk about how when Malcolm X was. going to meet I didn't know about this. he was going to do a speech at the at. the United Nations with shab.

Malcolm X really in 1965 they were going. [ __ ] nuts and it all ties in because. what and they kind of explain in the. beginning you have to tie a gangster in. with political because then he blows up. that poot something really interesting. you know I'm a [ __ ] [ __ ] I can't say. that [ __ ] and that's what they try to. show you that all these. gangsters had something to do with this. history yeah the guy who played that. [ __ ] dude that blows his head off in.

Full Metal Jacket what's his name. Vincent Denio Vincent Denio he plays a. VTO. genev that your [ __ ] head will blow. up something completely different I like. how he casted I like the way he casted. he casted outside the box again like. Tony Soprano was casting the last B Vito. the guy that plays veto he's very. political in this and that guy Gian. Carlo Esposito who's a [ __ ] G he. plays a congressman and he's always.

meeting with presidents but Bumpy's wife. works for him so it's very interesting. what's it on so it's MGM Hulu the first. two seasons and MGM plus the last season. MGM plus is like is that a new one it's. like Paramount plus there's so many of. them there's so many of them you know at. the end of the week you pay for so money. but it's an interesting show you know. that's the most interesting show I you. learn something it's not about shooting. and just heroin it's all this little you.

know the Cuban dude how all he wanted. battle that dude that we talked about. with TJ English all he wanted he was. selling coat just to take Cuba back like. that guy was can you imagine you coming. to me going Joey we're going to do this. this this but the but the the [ __ ]. final result of this money is me going. back to palmo to take my grandfather's. Village. back this is what that battle dude was. into he just wanted to go back to Cuba. that's it I don't want no problems I.

just want to kill Fidel and go back to. Cuba so they tried they they get with. the CIA and they show how many times. they tried to kill operation Mongoose. the [ __ ] wet suits the [ __ ] cigar. that explodes all those were failed CIA. attempts how many times they try to kill. Castro watch that documentary 101 times. that's remember when that [ __ ]. walked on the subway in New York. remember he came to the UN and he walked. on that's what they showing then he. walked on the subway in New York goes. you got a bulletproof vest and he low as.

it he goes I got nothing. on 101 ways to kill Castro wasn't that. the name of the documentary I don't. know Forest Whitaker's a [ __ ] great. actor isn't he Forest Whitaker was in. The Color of Money he played the guy. that hustled fast Ed he Felton yes. remember he had is that you mad yes. 638 he hustles him out of all this money. and at the end he goes can I ask you. your question do you think I should lose.

some. weight the guy was like completely broke. he shattered him fast dead he went in. there with a big ego thinking he was. this man this big time pool Hustler from. the 1960s and Forest Whitaker plays this. guy that's like super eccentric who. hustles him out of all his money and. then that's his [ __ ] you at the end let. me ask you a question think I should. lose some. weight barus would has played some. [ __ ] good roles too Amin and that.

[ __ ] uh what the last king of. Scotland I don't know that's the same. Great Ghost Dog Ghost. Dog and denofrio godamn that. [ __ ] that guy has been around. look his ass off dog he plays a good and. not like hey oh no he seems like a guy. would be a nightmare to have political. talk with though yeah no he's like if. you sitting in the craft service table. and he starts braking about the Biden. Administration new plans for this or.

that you be like can I run out here and. pee real quick yeah go run out here and. pee real quick hold on one second we'll. be right back ladies and. gentlemen brother no worries got you pee. before we rocked and roll no I saw you. went to the bathroom I'm like I should. go I'll hold it [ __ ] you you're going to. hold it those holding days are over with. I got to go Jack I got a bottle in my. [ __ ] car you got a bottle you peeing. yeah the one from surgery from my knee. surgery 3 years ago I just took it home. left it in the back seat that New Jersey. Turnpike [ __ ] you I go to the gym at. 10:00 you go to the gym you're drinking.

and then I go let me go up North for. something a meeting or something dog I. got to pull over like three time I just. pissing that thing out of light I got it. down to a science I put the Cuban egro. on the bottle I pissing it I put in the. drink holder I just drive like a mile. and at the next the brakes oh no I don't. y you know mean I pop the door open I. dump dumped the little piss I put paper. toweling I wipe it out I take it in the. back filled it with water and I that. keeps me going that turnpike's a. [ __ ] yeah that traffic is insane.

that Turnpike Parkway is a [ __ ]. that the traffic in and out of New York. City is probably the worst traffic I've. ever experienced no that [ __ ] that we. left in La had his moments too when the. 10 goes to the 405 at 4:30 that was the. worst there's some ways into the city. though where it feels like there's only. one way whereas if you're going down to. like Orange County there's a few. different ways you can kind of skirt. around up until you get deep in once you.

get near San Diego you're kind of [ __ ]. you're kind of [ __ ] those are the. rough days driving from La remember we. would do like La Hoya Comedy Store we'd. have to leave at like 100 p.m. you would. leave at 1 I would leave at 6:00 and do. 90 on the shoulder the whole way because. if you left at 1 it was still 4 hours so. either you had to leave at 6 or you had. to leave at at like 6:00 in the morning. or you had to leave at like 6:00 at. night which would give you a 2hour. window bar and I was featuring oh God.

and I would [ __ ] make it all the time. tell him to go long and you get down. there and then I know do you remember I. used to make it back from San Diego. in I think like an. hour it had to be more than that was it. 117 miles I think I would make it I. would leave San Diego La Hoya at a. quarter to 12 and I would make it to my. Coke dealer's house by 1:00 a.m. what is. that what is uh you going 100 miles hour. hour Joey what is uh the distance.

between Los Angeles and uh 101 miles I. think it's more so I would get on the. 110 okay I would get on the five okay I. had the this is it get on the five do. 75 once you're like five miles away from. immigration where they ask you to stop. for fruit I would kick it to 100 118 I. would kick it to 100 and then once I'd. pass the fruit I'd SL I slow down to the. speed limit and from there to Irvine I'd. do 100. and next thing you knew it said La 29.

miles Jesus I used to [ __ ] I remember. I got stopped a few times yeah and the. cops pull me over you know how fast you. were going but because I wasn't drinking. on Fridays and Saturday nights were you. drinking not at all offic I'm better. than that okay slow down next time [ __ ]. you I got a Coke guy to meet by 1:00 I. got [ __ ] to do my coke dealer would. close at one aren't you glad your Coke. days were before the fenel problem yeah. Jesus Christ Joey this is why I only do.

anything I get from who I know yeah I'm. to a point now where I just deal with. laughing guys that's it I eat their. mushrooms I eat anything from them. because I know where I'm getting it from. yeah I feel a lot safer in La now you. got to be really careful with anything. you touch even if it's prescription you. got to be [ __ ]. careful when I heard that people were. buying testing kits. for cocaine.

yeah I know it's crazy right you kind of. have to do that you don't have to do. anything why snort coke you know snort. and Coke was always a [ __ ] uh Ro. Russian Roulette right right but now. it's even more a Russian Roulette now. you can either die of a [ __ ] heart. attack or fenal them yeah you know so. now and that goes for everything that's. heroin that's prescription pills that's. [ __ ] reefer they're putting the. Edibles in LA that's everything look at. didn't somebody just die again from.

fentanyl Coolio or something just coio. died from F you know this this doesn't. end so you got to really if you you. really got to be careful what you're. putting in your now yeah thank God I. wasn't doing any of that [ __ ] now thank. God CU yeah you're you're going to die. it's very scary they're putting that. [ __ ] into this country I mean that's all. you read about how much venol is coming. in and how many people are dying from. that [ __ ] so didn't they say now they're. giving you Naran at home you can buy it. CVS or something like that I don't know.

if that's the case but I know a lot of. people are buying Narcan and sending it. to their kids at College it's very. scary scary [ __ ] man because it's like. this is not something that anybody had. to deal with before like this level of. uh contamination was something that's so. deadly when you get like I think it was. like 100,000 people one year died of. overdoses like what the [ __ ] man from. fenel. Tom Petty died from that too right yep.

Prince Tom Petty now what is fentanyl. fentol is synthetic opioids it's a very. potent synthetic opioid and the amount. that can kill you is so small that if. you look at a penny it'd be like a tiny. little piece on a penny like there's a. an image that's online like a famous. image of the of a see if you can find it. Jamie there's a mount of uh fenel that. could kill you and it's next to a penny. and you look at you go holy [ __ ] is the. tiny amount so it's super super super.

potent so you know in medications it's. used but they know what the dosage is. when you're getting it from the cartel. someone's mixing in a bathtub and Tijana. like look at it look at that amount next. to the. penny how crazy is. that that'll kill. you that mean that's nuts man it's. basically the amount of coke the amount. of fentanyl that's in Lincoln's beard if. you take that amount from Lincoln's. beard if you're looking at a penny.

that'll kill you that's crazy that's a. that's a potent [ __ ] drug and the. fact that they mix that into. everything it's [ __ ] nuts. man I'm out that scary [ __ ] man it's and. it's scary how they just hand out pain. pills to people nobody just deals with. pain everybody's got to just be zonked. out all and I got to tell you something. I learned a very valuable lesson from. those pills with my last surgery I.

learned a very valuable lesson the. lesson is I learned that I think those. [ __ ] uh oxycotton promote more. pain I really do I really [ __ ] do I. could tell you this now after the. surgery because I had when I had the. right knee surgery okay number one I got. to give it to New Jersey though New. Jersey listen I know a pharmacist and. she tells me that she used to work in. Staten Island when somebody goes in. there for pain pills now they give them. a. 100 Jesus you know how many they give.

you in Jersey how much. 19 they would give me 19 for the week if. you're going to take them for pay every. six hours that don't add up they didn't. give you enough from the beginning New. Jersey does not [ __ ] around so they're. worried about you becoming addicted wor. about da went into Jersey and you can't. get none and you know I know everybody. you can't get [ __ ] in Jersey [ __ ] not. the way it was in LA but Staten Island.

it's open yeah because New York state is. different prescription thing so when a. doctor prescribes Roxy cotton in New. York or Staten Island or for Five. barrows they gave you like 90 of them. you know and New Jersey they give you 19. talk I thought the pharmacy was robbing. me like I would get home and go where. all the pills go and I would sit there. that I take no I just got him my wife. would give him how the [ __ ] this they. don't give them to you to drive crazy no. more but I had one prescription and then.

it took me 3 days to get another one I. just suffered and then I took another. prescription and by the end of that week. the pain had gotten worse and it gotten. to the point one day where it was that. bone by my ankle I guess they screwed. something in there I don't [ __ ] know. and I said you know what I'm not I got. the prescription I threw him away and. the pain went away so I think the pain. was promoting. the pill was promoting my pain because.

once I threw the pain pills away I have. no more pain and what was the decision. to throw the pain pills away just deci I. don't like how they make you feel you. know listen you go to the dentist I'm. happy for two hours they either give you. a viking or something I could live off a. viking I go to a little Dodge a game or. smoke a joint I'm good if I want to do. that it's when you do those things every. day like when you get a surgery and they. give you those things every day that's. when I think it's a problem because when. I took the fatball out of my thing that.

was horrible at the end of that. prescription and I was a full junkie. then I did not feel good Papa I did not. [ __ ] feel good it took me a couple. weeks and it was you know not the you do. the probotics you do all that [ __ ] now. let's take it back to the Xanax when I. was on the Xanax it was basically during. the. pandemic I had 10,000 of those things at. the house 10,000 because he was sending. me 90 a month from. 2012 on automatic monthly I wasn't.

takil they were just going in a closet. they were just going in a [ __ ] when. did you take it 2012 was when I got it. prescribed when I had my little. situation at The Comedy Store that we. goofed about that was none of that's not. that was not good there's no way I. should be in a standing walking 10 count. that's what that was that night when I. had to follow Morgan Murphy a standing. walking 10 count do I went up to I asked. Paulie Shaw I told you this story and we.

laughed about it but dog now thinking. about it I should have done something I. went to The Comedy Store I'm in the back. you weren't there I think you had you. were coming in later yes you were coming. in later cuz on Saturdays I used to do. the close the original room uhhuh. talking bullshitting with Paulie. everybody's in the back no refill maybe. a joint before I got there you know. Saturday night just look the girls I get. there they say Co Joey you're up next I. walk to the thing and as I'm walking I.

walk up the steps to the original room. and Morgan's on stage and Paulie. standing there laughing at her and I. walk up and I'm like damn I don't. [ __ ] feel good like this is not. working I was starting to get. anxiety I couldn't breathe I couldn't. breathe but I went to look at that. window for years whenever I had anxiety. in the original room I had a. window when I'm on stage I got a window. on the right remember and we can look. out the sunset I was always good that. day particular when I went in there I.

didn't see a [ __ ]. window so I was waiting for Morgan to. get off and all a sudden I got this. anxiety Jo I couldn't breathe I couldn't. [ __ ] breathe so I walked down the. stairs just to look at the door to get. and I got worse it got worse I couldn't. breathe I thought I was going to [ __ ]. have a heart attack I go Paulie I can't. get on stage I'm having a horrible. anxiety attack he goes I just went up. dude and I walked up there and I told. you but I didn't explain it to you. correctly because I was cracking a joke.

I woke up at the 12 minute. Mark I remember walking past Paulie and. that's it. Joe that's it and then I remember waking. up on stage and people laughing and I. was probably on automatic pilot wow I. had a bit that it was on automatic pilot. that was a little scary that's when you. got on Xanax no it was a couple weeks. out went to the doctor and he goes what. was that I kept having these little. panic attacks. kept having these little panic attacks. little panic attacks but I was okay I.

wasn't going to go to a psychiatrist we. were working our asses off we didn't. know what the [ __ ] was going on so I. started taking the. sanax and it would help it a little bit. I would take it on the road if I went on. a plane or something like that but you. got to remember what does it do for you. you got to remember too it was you. walking contradiction I'm talking about. myself because you said it best I'm. eating 2,000 milligram of THC and. scaring the [ __ ] out of myself. right you're walking around [ __ ]. scaring then the Xanax I would take the.

Xanax to calm me down off the. anxiety come on man that's not going to. work those edible weed sessions when you. do too many of them I do think they make. people very anxious I think they just I. think they did too prise to God I think. they shift the pole of your brain you. know more I brought some more sure you. did but now I eat them more to sleep I. got them on a my big problem Joe is. still to this day is sleep so now two.

nights three nights a week I drink a. bodybuilder uh sleeping thing what do. you do you have a hard time sleeping. because you're not tired do you have a. hard time sleeping because you're. thinking I'm tired till. 9:30 and I look come on man the comedy. timing I don't want to go to bed at 9:30. yeah do you know what I'm saying I never. want to go to bed at 8:00 that's when. you know you're almost done I want to. about at eight [ __ ] you man I'm not. looking to stay till 4: but I'm not. going to bed at 9:30 so I'm tired about.

9:00 but I push the envelope a little. bit I like to read maybe listen to music. 11 11:30 I'm like you I like to read. [ __ ] on the computer 11 11:30 I try to. read at night I turned the TV off once I. go up there. bro I'm thinking about the guy who came. to my house who asked me if he could. take an orange but he took three instead. he took nine he took nine instead yeah. and you're like that was 11 years ago. Joey. I think about the time I bombed in the. original room following D myera like.

does it matter I think about the time I. ate a bucket of dicks in North Carolina. in Chapel Hill does it matter does it. really matter that you ate a bag of. dicks you know I think of stupid [ __ ]. yeah and I fall asleep eventually I'll. tell you what helped whoop I got the. whoop watch to help me with recovery cuz. I was lifting and going into Jiu-Jitsu. and my back would hurt so I want to I. want to figure out what kind of calories. I could do and I won't go over those if. I could do those 5 days a week that's.

fine but I can't go in there burn 800. [ __ ] calories in Jiu-Jitsu and expect. a deadlift the next day I don't have. that so I got the whoop watch the whoop. watch put me on to sleep it's helped me. sleep better because I finally realized. D you slept four hours last night no. wonder you feel like [ __ ] right so now. I'm in contest with whoop so I got it up. from 4 and 1/2 hours of sleep to 8 hours. pretty much last night I only slept like. 5 because of the flight. but I'm sleeping 8 hours now that's.

great yeah now I'm sleeping 11:30 to 8. don't get me wrong once every two weeks. I have a little hiccup I go upstairs I. think of something I go back down I. smoke some pot I read and I go back up. and I'm all right but when I was doing. comedy there was no sleep Joe yeah do. you want me to tell you why why eight. cups of espresso a day you know. everybody thought I would leave the. store because I was going to do. something bad do you know why I was. leaving the store before.

midnight. think why cuz Starbucks was open till. midnight in Studio City and God forbid I. didn't catch my flat white before. midnight God forbid I didn't catch my. Grande flat white before midnight and. then I'll call you tomorrow and tell you. how I didn't sleep last night so you. were drinking coffee lat we would always. have espresso after dinner yeah no we. now I have an espresso at 5: and I'm not. sleeping that's so weird I can sleep. right after having won oh I L it because. in my world it takes you up yeah so you.

catch it on the way. down I eat a chocolate something I can't. [ __ ] sleep that night now really I. really focused on my sleep the last. couple years you know especially since I. got this whoop about 16 17 months ago. that's what's really improved in my life. is as sleep and I've been taking naps. too if I go to Jiu-Jitsu I do the Blue. Bell class I need a nap Jack I need a. little nap from 5 to six you know that's. where I.

am but when I started popping the Xanax. the the high point was maybe May of. during the pandemic like I couldn't. leave the house without popping the. Xanax and then when I get in the car I. pop another one and it would stay in. your system thank God I wasn't drinking. and what was that doing for you though. like what's the feeling like calming me. down I can't take sleeping pills and I. can't take the strong Xanax so I have to. take the little footballs but I was. taking 8 to 10 of those [ __ ] a.

day Jesus and then when I landed in. Jersey what had happened was you know. how you and Tom had that conversation. about my tolerance yeah okay that. tolerance dog I think a as you could. tell I think a lot about this [ __ ] yeah. you had a conversation with me a couple. years ago about y Romero getting punched. in the face and his eye socket and when. he got into the Green Room into the uh. when he went the doctor saw him after. the fight his eye socket was healed it. was healing healing okay yeah I think.

about what you were talking about my. tolerance with the Edibles and stuff now. let's get back to early Joe Diaz when I. was a child the doctor would have to. come to my house two days in a row for. years they' have to shoot me with. Penicillin on Monday and then come back. on Tuesday and shoot me again because I. would never take the. penicillin you know I had a lot of. problems with my throat as a kid and uh. whatever [ __ ] consols and [ __ ] so I. was always in the hospital as as a kid I.

was a sickly kid till I was about eight. all those years Joe they would always. have to shoot me two or three times with. Penicillin the same penicillin they. would give you one shot of they'd have. to shoot me so I don't know always had a. high tolerance always interesting except. for. alcohol and even alcohol cuz I could. drink something with Jamie right now and. I won't fall over I don't want to do it. but that's what's always pissed me off. about alcohol that I could drink a few. alcohol shots. feel okay but then if I push the. envelope that's when I feel shitty but.

my tolerance with alcohol and with. cocaine and alcohol [ __ ] I could drink a. case of Budweiser you know. cans so my friend Johnny who had a Coke. problem I always used to have to take. him to the corner store the liquor store. to get 40 ounces yeah he would calm. himself down with like a big Malt Liquor. iink he always trying to like beers 22. beers and it would calm you down so when. the Xanax finally. but I realized when I got the jersey. that year I got the Jersey August 9th or.

something on your B August. something two days after I got the. Jersey I had something like a weird mild. heart attack my heart didn't stop. pounding and that was because the Xanax. turned on me I didn't realize that till. I went to the knee surgery and one of. the assistants caught it because I. couldn't sleep and they tried to give me. something to sleep and the chick goes. you're you're uh. withdrawing oh from benzo she goes.

you're withdrawing naturally that's why. your heartbeats going up that's why. you're [ __ ] up it's very dangerous for. so she told me you have to flip it so I. had to read a a journal about this about. transitioning you just can't quit you. can't quit alcohol and you can't quit. benzos yeah there that uh you know you. could die so what I had to do is take. whatever I was was eating which was. eight of those things a day and work. myself.

backwards how long did it take you 6. months wow work myself backwards but. Jordan Peterson was [ __ ] up for a year. dog it [ __ ] with your uh central. nervous system you don't have no idea. what life is till your central nervous. system is [ __ ] with forget cocaine. forget all that [ __ ] and you know I've. done it all yeah how's it [ __ ] with you. your heart constantly.

beats I'm talking constantly you could. be watching TV and you could see it. Jesus you know how scary that is you. could [ __ ] see it so your body's just. freaking out that it doesn't have system. fre freaking out I had to go on Cal. support I had to [ __ ] change my diet. so even the six month slowly. transitioning off even that was rough oh. really because I had to break them into. two parts the Xanax so I would get up in.

the morning eat breakfast work out and. then pop a Xanax and then go the whole. day I'm tell you why I did six months I. I would go the whole day without his. Xanax and then pop one at night and deal. with it just to help me go to sleep but. that whole time I would go to the pool. every day I would put my feet in the. grass and try to you know just get me. back cuz it was central nervous system. [ __ ] a lot of tea a lot fell off oh oh. you feel awful awful how was it [ __ ].

with your comedy I wasn't doing comedy. the pandemic oh I was just getting back. into it it was just starting to open up. I went and did a a parking lot I did a. like a it was outdoor comedy yeah Rich. Voss told me to go [ __ ] do a parking. lot me him and Jimmy oh my God they were. [ __ ] bats right when. when he was like in a mall outside of. Jersey there little stage you can see. the bats flapping behind the comics and. [ __ ] and I told Rich the next Way Rich.

what's with all those bats he goes [ __ ]. that I did a gig last week there was a. bear behind us he goes I jump right off. the [ __ ] stage Jesus Christ those. places in northern Jersey jerse those. outdoor shows so when I was going. through all this it was I was I used to. just sit on my bed on my hands and look. straight that's all I could do all day. you couldn't really keep a conversation. I remember Ari came down once I couldn't. wait for him to [ __ ]. leave that's normal though right no.

that's my brother that's my brother I. was happy he brought the dog and the. girlfriend Chinese food it was great but. I couldn't wait I couldn't keep eye. contact I couldn't [ __ ] do much and I. always noticed that after I took the. pill that feeling would start again so. when I went to the gym in the morning. and did all that [ __ ] I was fine once I. took that Xanax I felt like [ __ ] and. once I took that nighttime Xanax I felt. like [ __ ]. and I cut down what's that called when. you cut back trim a little what was that.

called regression regressing doses I. don't know what would it be called I. forget you have to cut off you have to. shave I know what it is it's just like. me Nei I can't this weed is [ __ ] you. have to shave the pill a little bit. that's what I did and then I realized. one day tapering tapering I got myself a. uh I got myself uh what's not a what's. the doctor under the doctor a nurse no.

the a doctor they call him something. whatever they can give you prescriptions. but they're not really a doctor okay I. signed up with one of those and she put. me on this plan like just what to eat. and do all that stuff and one day I. called and I said listen man I got a. funny feeling that every time I take. these pills it makes me feel worse and. she goes why I go because when I go to. the gym I'm feeling great I go in there. I'm talking with people I'm feeling. great and she goes what are you saying I. go I'm I'm stop Tak. cuz I take clonidine already for blood. pressure and that stops Strokes so I I'm.

just going to stop doing it and I. stopped I never took a Xanax again wow. that was it but I'll dog I will never. one the withdrawal the withdrawal the. withdraw was horrible Joe I won't wish. on anybody well that's what Jordan was. saying he had no idea how you no idea. they listen if I was buying this [ __ ] on. the street from some kind named [ __ ]. Pedro or something then I would have a. problem when your doctor gives it to you. you think it's normal I did the study.

and Xanax is only prescribed for two. weeks that's it it's for short periods. of time until they figure out what to. give. you whether they give you whatever the. [ __ ] how long does it take before your. body gets. addicted I don't know Joe I was living. through hell there's so many of these. creepy medications out there Joey that. people are just taken you know then. there's some medications that people. kill thems you know I don't know I don't. know if it's even real I don't know if. it's true well there's definitely.

medications for the side effect suicidal. thought I just didn't want to feel like. this ever. again and uh you know I stopped drinking. like I never really drank but when I. moved to Jersey I was drinking San grias. when I went out and one night I thought. I was bad Joe Rogan I got an Italian. oldfashioned oh my God Joe that set me. back. [ __ ] that was it I was done with. alcohol after that. alcohol is a dangerous one really it's a.

little poison a little Poison every time. but it's fun you know I'm I'm I always. feel bad that I don't drink well I I. feel horrible that I don't drink why I. wish I could be sociable and have a red. wine Joe I wish i' go to dinner with you. yeah but it doesn't matter oh no one. cares it doesn't matter you Joe I grew. up in the 70s where you walked into. somebody's house and people just gave. you a drink they hi Joe do you want. drink they don't have in the 70s they. didn't ask they took two cubes how cool.

were those tables like. Sinatra Dean what's his name do you know. when you do The Tonight Show they would. have a cart they would pull pull a. [ __ ] bar cart into your green room. into your dressing room would you like a. drink when I did The Tonight Show with. Jay Leno he gets you gets you booze. before you go out there I didn't know. that yeah wants everybody to be laughing. rela a little bit what's a joint or. [ __ ] exactly do you see with laughing. gas I'm sure Mah probably smokes well he. definitely Smokes on his podcast does he.

Jesus Christ Joey what do you got there. I said I'm so terrified with that bag. bring it to the Green Room Bill Mar okay. all this [ __ ] and you got your own bag. with The Joe Rogan Experience on it. thank you a beautiful leather bag I got. you some [ __ ] I'm so excited to show. you this club I'm so bro I've heard. [ __ ] I have people that are. non-comics hit me up noncom this is a. just a lot of noise on the microphon I.

know I'm trying to figure out what to. get to smoke next bug let's just look at. this I got bags everywhere come on we're. good what the [ __ ] I join them here here. I know we got a [ __ ] chocolate. mushroom. ball laughing guys got it all Uncle Papa. they're going to open up an AC they got. to fix the laws in Texas the basically. marijuana's de criminalized in the city. of Austin but this the the [ __ ] law.

is dumb and these people don't realize. it's dumb cuz they've got it connected. to leftists and hippies it's about. Freedom there's a lot of ranchers and. Farmers that like to smoke weed it's. great weed's great it makes you love. your children more it makes you stare at. the stars makes food taste better makes. sex feel better you [ __ ] idiots that. are making it illegal are ruining the. world and they say it's going to ruin. people yeah it's going to ruin people. just like cheeseburgers are going to. ruin people and gambling is going to.

ruin people and alcohol is going to ruin. people all those things that are legal. and should be legal because you got to. give people the opportunity to [ __ ] up. their own life you should work on. counseling you should give people advice. you should give people uh some sort of. resources where they could get out of. any sort of hole they're in whatever. addiction they might have but you got to. leave people the [ __ ] alone that's what. this country's founded on this country. is founded on freedom and if you don't. have the freedom to choose what you put. in your own body especially when we're.

talking about something that is. beneficial medically psychologically. physically not physically addictive. doesn't kill anyone the only way you die. from it you literally have to do. something stupid because you're hot if I. haven't died from it ain't nobody going. to die from marijuana okay knock get the. [ __ ] off the only time you die is a. [ __ ] brick of marijuana falls out of. the sky and hits you in the. head but we're still dealing with a.

bunch of goofy laws and I think they. keep these laws Goofy on purpose they. keep the culture war going because it's. an easy distraction from other things. the more doesn't gamble either right. what's that you don't gamble either. right Jamie there's some gambling here. right like poker rooms okay but not like. not a casino might casinos somewhere in. the state magnets for sick. people you know when you go to those. casinos in like Connecticut they're like. Jesus Christ there's so many people that.

they're just sick a lot of people having. a good time just out on a date let's go. to the casino play a couple hands of. blackjack seems like a good time but. there's a lot of just sick [ __ ]. gambling junkies in there just lost when. you see them when they have their. Wheelchairs and they got the oxygen mask. and they're smoking cigarette in the. casino you're like wow you see a lot of. those Different Strokes with different. folks hey you got to let people do that. if that's what they want to do how about. the last week that was winning so much. money she just started pissing at the. casino I saw that did you see that that.

girl just pissed on the [ __ ] seat the. [ __ ] she's playing swap machines BR. she didn't even move she was on the. phone she didn't dry her monkey either. what a crazy [ __ ] that's disgusting. that's a I don't mind if you pee even me. when I pee in the bottle I have a little. tissue to dry the helmet off maybe she. was on Xanax yeah this is her she seems. kind of hot too she look hot from the. side and just pissing so ridiculous that. lady's Wild it's crazy though imagine. that you it's not uncommon not that.

uncommon hold on scroll up scroll. scroll look at this regardless of the. video's legitimacy urinating on Casino. Florence isn't as uncommon as one might. think 2000 oh many people probably did. it oh they had adult diapers this guy. said the Annie Arie Wexler rather a. recovered problem Gambler who operated. New Jersey based gambling hotline and. counil service at the time told the. Louisville cour Courier Journal that. many heavy gamblers dawn adult diapers.

to avoid having to leave a slot machine. or gaming table if they don't come. prepared he said they just pee in the. seat oh my God you dirty [ __ ] you. imagine walking in a casino you just. smell piss you just know so many people. been pissing on the floor you could. smell it. oh I don't know I don't know if I'm. ready for. diapers I don't know I don't know dog if. you pee in your pants you got to leave. that [ __ ] on what would you rather have.

diapers or be paralized I'll dig diapers. you got to just deal with it it is what. it is you know you can only control what. you can control you you going tell me. you're going to [ __ ] in a diaper and. sitting there for two hours I don't. think the [ __ ] thing is as big of an. issue I think mostly it's a pissed thing. in. continence uh you might you might be. [ __ ] your pants a little bit. too depends depends on your your. digestive system in your diet I mean. some people have gastrointestinal. problems it's horrible that's the worst.

there's a lot of problems out there in. the world though little babies die. leukemia you know a lot of problems. we're lucky as [ __ ] we're we're alive. and kicking in 2023 one of the most. interesting times to be alive and you. and I grew up in a time where there was. no internet we got to experience this. whole wave of change over the world the. erosion of faith in politicians and and. media is at an all-time high people are. just starting to wake up to how [ __ ].

insane this world is organized and run. and we're starting to realize that hey. you know this is almost over for whoever. is listening to this if you're listening. to this and you're in your 40s you're. halfway there kid all right if you're. listening in your 20s if nothing. terrible happens to you you don't. accidentally overdose on fentanyl you. got a solid 60 years left if everything. goes great if you're taking care of. yourself maybe you'll make it to 90. Maybe so I'm 55 so how much time do I. have left I'm pretty robust 20 I work.

out a lot 20 20 years that's it damn I. was hoping for like a 100 after that. what I think I do 15 you really want to. be 100 sitting there I think I think I'd. get even better I think I'd get even. better about it at anything I think if. you could stay alive for longer you'd. make less mistakes you'd understand. yourself more there'd be like a value. that you could give to other people if. you have energy like people can learn. things from other people that have. already experi exp erience life that's. why we love hearing stories and hearing. wise people talk about things the more I.

experience life the more I understand me. and and other people and the more I talk. to people the more I understand people. the better I get at it the better I get. at. life I really really really believe that. and I think everybody does sort of every. does in their heart of hearts I feel the. same as long as you don't give up as. long as you don't give up as long as you. don't get cynical as long as you don't. get hateful if you could just stay. positive and stay around loving people. and be a good person and be someone that. people like to be around it gets you can.

get better all the time like you keep. getting better at being a human you get. better at podcasting you get better at. standup you get better at everything you. once told me something really. interesting when you said that your. biggest fear was turning old you didn't. want it you wanted to be in good shape. when you older you. know and my biggest fear all these years. honest to God was not dying or anything. it was not being I hate to say this to. you and you're going to understand what. I'm saying right off the bat people at.

home might not I didn't want to become. one of the comics at the store when we. got there I know what you mean I'd. rather shoot myself I didn't want to. call you when I was 60 and go the dog. I'm taking this cruise I need to come on. the podcast to change my life as we both. heard from people yeah I did not want to. be one of those guys and that is what. I'm proudest of the most I'm proud that. I put a book together I I'm very proud. that I found alternatives that I have to. keep bothering people at clubs to put me.

on yeah and you know well Joe Rogan. sucks MIT Shaw never gave me the love I. needed I blew off kenis and I don't want. to hear that [ __ ] yeah but those guys. they're always going to exist you know. they're they're a lesson for you this. this is a path that you could go down. you see that path and you know it's. negative where we got very lucky Joey is. that we both experienced like you did. movies The Longest Yard we we did a.

bunch of stuff we did a bunch of stuff. but then the internet came along right. when we were like fully developed like. real Comics we were real Headliners. headers and then when everybody. transitioned into podcasting and. everybody transitioned into like YouTube. became like the best platform for. putting out a comedy special and we all. learned who's the great comics from. listening to each other you know people. would talk about have you seen Shane. Gillis holy [ __ ] Mark Norman oh my God. that guy's funny and then everybody here.

and it becomes this organic network but. it all happened we got so fortunate that. we caught that wave every step of the. way at the right time we wrote Every. wave in every step of the way take the. mainstream stuff to use it to transition. into putting your stuff online you. realize online is the real mainstream. everybody's addicted to their goddamn. phone everybody's on social media every. everybody's watching YouTube everybody's. listening to podcasts there's just it's.

we caught that wave every step of the. way and that's the same thing with this. club Joey when this I was not going to. open up a [ __ ] club what did I always. tell you guys I said be nice to club. Owners you don't want to be one of them. we need those freaks we need these crazy. people that are willing to deal with. stand-up comedians every week and hoping. that they don't have a [ __ ] overdose. after the Friday Night Show and hoping. that they show up for radio at 6:00 in. the morning to promote the gig those. people are crazy we know them we are. them we're all crazy anybody who wants.

to do stand-up comedies out of their. [ __ ] mind you don't want to be a club. owner so I was always like be nice to. those people I want them to be my. friends these are people I work with I. want to look forward to see them in. hugging them I don't want to think this. guy's [ __ ] me out of money this guy. my bonuses are short all that I don't. want to I don't want to be involved in. any of that I just want to give. everybody a hug say hi to the weight. staff what's up what's up I want it to. be nice positive experience you don't. want to be a [ __ ] club owner now I'm. a club owner and it came about during.

the pandemic it was this wild series of. opportunities first of all covid me. looking at all the chaos in La going. this ain't getting better we're getting. the [ __ ] out I had liberal friends. calling to borrow guns like what you no. you can't borrow a gun Jesus [ __ ]. Christ there's lines around the gun. stores you remember the lines at the gun. stores Joey I was driving through b I. think it was Burbank was a line both of. them on the. people looking to buy guns they didn't. have enough guns to sell people so I was.

like I'm getting the [ __ ] out of here. and when I got to LA or got to Austin. rather I was like [ __ ] I need a club. there's no clubs here we were working. out the Vulcan which was nice but it. wasn't set up as a community it wasn't. set up that was like where we could all. all be together and hang like we did at. the store I was like Jesus that's so. important for the the culture of standup. it's so important to for the comics to. have a sense of community so and so I. was like all right I got to open it up. [ __ ] club and at the same time. everybody had been fired from the commi. store the Comm store was shut down.

everybody was unemployed so I got all. the best people from the store to come. here when I got Curtis and Adam and Eric. and Jodie and Jesus Christ and Carrie. Mitchell to run the bar like holy [ __ ]. man I was like this is the Dream Team. and imagine how many people ready to. leave bro and Adam eot that that guy's. the [ __ ] man everybody was ready to. leave and then they come here and it's. so beautiful people are so nice and it. all like every step of the way it's like. I rode this wave perfect this building.

that I got this building they didn't. even want to sell the building it was. been one family's owned it for a hundred. years they didn't want to sell it but. they they decided they offered me a. price I didn't even negotiate I said. I'll take it and they were just happy. that it was going to stay a live. entertainment venue they would worried. it was maybe become a hotel or something. or a restaurant they wanted it to be a. live entertainment venue like it always. was I want you to go back what you were. talking about La what your liberal. friends asking you that's a good topic. you brought up because I always feel.

that the beginning of my downfall with. the fear just wasn't the pandemic I'm. not scared to [ __ ] die from a [ __ ]. cold it wasn't the pandemic but the. pandemic was [ __ ] with me the thing. that [ __ ] with me the most was what my. neighborhood had become yeah and not. from you telling me you know how people. tell you [ __ ] no no what I saw yeah and. once I see something that's it I don't. give a [ __ ] what anybody tells me I saw. a guy get hit by a.

4x4 in a train at the bus station in. North Hollywood where we drove by. thousands of times I saw a guy hitting. people with a 4x4 not a 2x4 oh who. leaves the house with a 4x4 Jesus Christ. okay I saw a [ __ ] CVS Studio City I. saw a white guy and African-American. hooker fighting at CVS at 10:00 in the. morning. in Studio City I've been going to that.

[ __ ] thing for 5 years that CVS. that's why I got all my prescriptions. and [ __ ] I saw like three or four things. then I had the glass door in my house so. I kept feeling that they were going to. kick the front door in so I went right. to the Armenian and I'm like dog I need. a gun we ain't got time to stand online. in Burbank and he brought me like a. [ __ ] 45 with a bazook and [ __ ] and I. gave him like two grand I go don't come. back without a gun wow this [ __ ]. came back 3 days later with like a.

[ __ ] AR-15 and a suitcase with a. violin I'm like oh my God so now one. thing I don't like I do not like weapons. I'll shoot you but I don't want to have. a weapon I can't have a weapon want to. have a weapon right you don't want to. feel that you need to have a weapon. though uh no you're worried energy of it. yeah you don't want to feel like it. messed around with weapons for years you. know I got in trouble with a weapon and. I always said that when I put weapons on.

I met more people that had weapons on do. you find what I'm saying to you when I. was a civilian hugging people I never. felt the weapon but when I put a weapon. on in ' 86 for three years after I got. arrested most people I dealt with had a. weapon so I considered a. magnet it was a for me in my mind it. felt like a magnet of [ __ ] bad [ __ ]. those two guns I had in the house didn't. I didn't feel right with me you weren't. going to bust into my house and you know.

hurt my daughter or my wife but that was. having those two weapons in the house. did not feel good with California has. very creepy laws when it comes to that. too I didn't give AEP [ __ ] about the. laws I will get rid of that gun before. the cops even get there trust me I had. 10 neighbors that were cool as [ __ ] take. it like I I like got OJ where where' OJ. [ __ ] go to you got neighbors yeah you. got Neighbors I killed the [ __ ] hide. the [ __ ] shirt. whatever I just didn't like it I didn't.

like having that weapon I didn't like. having her 45 in my car and then on the. day I flew back here I'll never forget. that I had that I gave him back the AR. and I had the 9 M the. 45 and the people called me and they're. like are you bringing a weapon with you. on the plane cuz I flew on a private. plane during Co I had the cats and [ __ ]. you know so uh I go yeah I'm going to. bring the gun with me and that night I. said no and I gave it to Brett I called.

him next morning go come pick up this. [ __ ] 45 from me he still has it he's. holding it for me I don't want it that's. how I didn't like that fear yeah I. really when I saw Latin Kings uh spray. paint on my daughter's school kofax. elementary same school Bert sent his. kids that wasn't good I just saw a lot. of [ __ ] up there that I would never saw. in the valley you see it in Hollywood. you know [ __ ] like that so that's good. that you brought that up because I. forgot how scary it was it was scary for.

a few weeks it got very strange cuz it. got different it felt like everybody was. more on edge there was a I saw a bunch. of lootings it was crazy like someone. broke into this clothes store they. smashed the windows and ran into it and. we were we were um by this Target and. these people had blocked the door of the. target with a dumpster and lit the. dumpster on fire and they were telling. everybody to get out of the building put. put down whatever you're purchasing run. out of the the exit right now it got.

real weird with all that antifa stuff. got very St and people were emboldened. to do things and after the George Floyd. um death when it was the riots and they. lit the cop cars on fire there was this. real feeling this real [ __ ] the police. we're going to do whatever the [ __ ] we. want and no one's going to stop it and. the police seemed hesitant to do things. too and that got that was when I was. like check please I was like this is not. the place these no one here is you you.

got to recognize when things are. changing and when they're not going to. get better because there's no resources. in place there's no leadership in place. there's no if you're defunding the. police that is a totally wrong approach. to deal with an excess of crime like all. what you need is better funding and you. need better training and better people. as police officers and better respect. for police officers you need to have an. understanding that they're very very. necessary and one things that people. found is that as soon as crime starts. [ __ ] scaling up in every city people.

are calling for the cops even. politicians in San Francisco that were. actively like saying we should defund. the police they were tweeting we should. defund the police then the crime starts. kicking up they're like we can't even. get the cops to come out like why do you. think that is that's crazy maybe it's. cuz you defunded them I mean you're out. of your [ __ ] mind like do you think. that somehow or another having less. police equals less crime like that's the. dumbest scenario like how would you what. you think everybody's going to get. Kumbaya on you no you're just going to. embolden criminals and you're going to.

terrify people and then you're going to. things are going to scale worse and. worse and if you keep doing the same. thing to try to fix it it's never going. to get better and that's what you're. seeing in Portland and that's what you. see in San Francisco it just keeps. getting worse and it's chaotic you ever. go to a [ __ ] club like a club and. they're playing like disco music and. also in some fat [ __ ] like me y was put. on skinnard and nobody listens like. people like that idiot when I heard the. term debunk the police that's what it. felt like defund the police defund the.

police put on skinnard yeah until people. sawed saying that's a great idea and. you're like what the [ __ ] and that's. what was going on too many people were. yelling put on skinnard with different. ideas at that point yeah and you're like. what do you mean dog listen let's get. something straight you're going to hear. this from me one [ __ ] time I was born. a nice kid somewhere along the line I. lost my [ __ ] way somewhere along the. line when you suffer a traumatic. experience when you're a young man you. stay stuck for a few years or a young. woman you stay stuck that's why women. become uh you know they have they become.

what is that word Pro prostitutes. no Pro when you when you like the [ __ ]. the proxity whatever that [ __ ] word. is Nom Maniacs no that's not the way. promiscuous you know when you suffer a. dad or a mom or a grandmother you would. tight with you get stalled for a couple. years I'm not making excuses it's it's. these are all proven things you got to. read this [ __ ] you just don't grow. until the reality comes to you of what. happened you're still in shock when your.

mom dies or your father dies and. somewhere along the line I went off the. rails and I'm sorry for that I never. disrespected a cop. Joe in all the stories I tell you you. never hear any disrespect of a police. officer never well you knew cops that. [ __ ] that when I came that's part of it. too you know who raised me when I was a. young kid. p palal. Bel Athletic League on 88th Street in. Amsterdam I grew up in there that's why. I learned how to shoot pool really.

that's why I learned how to shoot guns. they took you to the 25th precin and you. shot at Targets they took you to the. park I was a big p guy then I moved to. Jersey [ __ ] baddest PA boxing coach. Cuban coach Mr gameo I didn't trade with. him he didn't like me but I knew his. sons and his kids you know but pal Mr. Marino that dude used to drive us. everywhere again he didn't like me too. much why did he like cuz I was like you. know something I don't know in once I. got to Jersey I hung out with a rough. crew or something at that age they.

didn't like me in bitty basketball so I. didn't played in Union City but I always. had respect for the pal and all those. years I always knew they had a job to do. and I was trying to be a criminal I. can't take it out on them right I've. never you never heard me say bad [ __ ]. about cops in fact in 60 years the only. cop the only cop I've had a problem with. is one one of the guys that arrested me. in bould in fact the other dude I just. wished him a happy birthday James K it.

was his birthday on Wednesday or Tuesday. on Facebook I follow with friends on. Facebook that's. hilarious so that was the only cop so. for a guy like me to only have problem. with one real cop in all those years got. to tell you something so when I heard. that they bumed the [ __ ] cops the. fund go [ __ ] yourself you're the same. [ __ ] that are going to be. crying for the same cops to come to your. house andu years 100% And then they were. talking about having people come over to. your house and just talking to you like.

during you know two safety. officers and now this [ __ ] that they're. doing with. baales that's crazy it's almost like. they want everything to fall apart this. is like something that you hear yeah. we're going to have bail reform you're. like okay yeah I'll put on skin it again. yeah bail reform so what you're telling. me is right now they have a huge problem. in New Jersey with stolen cars and these. mother [ __ ] got it down to a science. they're stealing them and they take them. right to the port in Newark there's no.

more middlemen you know in La they got. the Armenians chopping up cars no they. just take them right to the port you. could you could see it on the GPS of. your car they take them right to nework. they're waiting for the car they know. they know where you live they know it's. a half hour to Newark the ship is there. and where do they bring them they take. them to whatever Brazil to start a new. currency I don't know where the [ __ ]. they take them but my point is that when. they guys get arrested they're out the. next day yeah and half of the [ __ ]. that's going on people are out the next. day again did you see the thing the the.

shoplifting statistics about New York of. all of the shoplifting it's like 600. people and they've been arrested. thousands of times thousands of times. thousands of times see if you can find. the statistics cuz it's it's so crazy. you can't believe that that's really is. in New York it takes two cops to arrest. you so here it is okay oh I'm Excuse me. only. 327 people collectively they were. arrested and rearrested more than 6,000.

times some engage in shoplifting as a. trade While others are driven by. addiction or mental illness the police. did not identify the 327 people in the. analysis 327 people hey maybe you should. lock those Folks up and you'd stop all. of the. shoplifting well that's the idea that. you shouldn't do that is so [ __ ] do. you understand how cities work do you. understand how Law and Order Works do. you understand how peace works you need. peace officers if you don't have peace.

officers bad people are going to run a. muck and they're not going to listen. this has been the case in all of human. history I mean we know what the [ __ ]. equation is it's not that all cops are. bad is that there are some bad cops and. they should be exposed and they should. have better training and they should be. better funded and this and they should. be appreciated and maybe if they were. more appreciated they would would be. less of this and maybe we should figure. out why the crime is happening in these. cities in the first place maybe figured. out why these disenfranchised.

communities are the same every [ __ ]. year decade after decade with no federal. funding why we ship billions of dollars. over to Ukraine and what did we spend in. Afghanistan what do we SP come on this. is it's not like you can't like make. some real steps to fix this Nationwide. as a country but defunding the police is. not one of them that's not one of them. that's a dumb way to approach it. punishment. is so [ __ ] important yeah I. understand a slap in the wrist I got a. ton of them and what did that do nothing.

what did that do all those slaps on the. wrist that was cool probation a letter. you leg what did they do what did they. do they let me run a muck from. 1983 to 1988 when I got. busted I wish I would have got arrested. once and for all but all those stupidity. things you know that I was doing whether. I was in San Francisco I got arrested in.

all those places but they were dumb. enough to let me out what did you get. arrested. for doesn't matter you know stupid [ __ ]. theft of over $200 possession of stolen. tools possession of disc you know only. one weed possession that was my first. that was my second arrest was weed and I. got a six-month probation which I had a. half bounce on me I get it I paid a fine. a buck and a quarter or something like. that did it defray me did it deter me.

from getting high no no you know I wish. they nail you and that sentence that. that judge gave me that's a sentence. they got to give. people zero to four. years uh reconsideration after a. year if you really do it just to show. you the of what it is if after a year I. don't reconsider you pretty much you're. going to be in there for the rest of.

your [ __ ]. life you take somebody you punish them. heavy the first time and then you see. what direction they go one thing when I. walked out of that prison cell I knew I. was going to still do Coke show I knew I. was still going to steal I just knew I. had to change my ways a little bit I. knew I knew I wasn't going back in there. this goes back to shoplifting when you. shoplift they have theft over 200 and. theft under 200 and in different states. different counties it's all different I.

don't know what it is well now in places. it's like $900 so people are just. walking out of stores and no one. stopping them exactly exactly so it used. to be that I could go to a place a. supermarket and try to rob a [ __ ]. lobster tail for $100 and they give me a. ticket a ticket I'll live with a ticket. all day long I'll take that ticket and. shove it up my ass it's me going down to. the station getting processed. fingerprinted that's what deters you. that's the [ __ ] that deters you Joe and.

that's what they're not understanding. they don't have enough programs for. people listen when you go to prison in. this country all you're doing is. warehousing me and put me back out you. Warehouse me with guys that are smarter. than me and now gave me new ways to make. money to steal if I was stealing with a. gun before now they taught me how to. steal with a computer what do you. think's going to happen m there's no. programs in there they don't talk to you. they don't give a [ __ ] yeah it's up to. you to give a [ __ ] there's no Chinese.

food in prison there's no [ __ ] tons. of things in prison so I didn't belong. there so I didn't I know I wasn't going. to go back knock on wood I stayed out. but think about the people who weren't. as lucky as me the percentages the. percentages are horrible the percentages. of most men who grow up in crimer ridden. neighborhoods are. horrible it's very. it's very hard to get out you got to. find something whether it's music or.

entertainment or sports or something you. might have a wild idea for a business. that catches on but Jesus Christ the. odds are stacked against you the odds. are stacked and what happens when you do. get convicted with that. felony I can't do. nothing still till this day I can't do. anything Joe I can't go get a retirement. job at. Costco I can't volunteer at Costco. I can't get a volunteers job at a. [ __ ] recck Center maybe helping. taking old people out to a movie or.

something like that just to give back to. the community I can't do that can't do. that that that that liquidated me from. anything I found out the last three. years how worthless I really really was. that's why I sell wheed the last three. years why so the last three years. because I was always looking for options. like what else can I do in my life that. would maybe you know whatever just what. can I do maybe go back to school what. anything I don't know I'm always. interested in learning more I I [ __ ].

don't remember any history so you're. just thinking about doing it just as an. interesting thing to do like a new. adventure yeah like maybe go back to. school or something take online classes. something I I need I love to [ __ ]. learn all the [ __ ] I blew away the last. 30 years you know I didn't read what I. used to read as a child I didn't read. geography I didn't read history I read. you know books you know [ __ ] stupid. books so i' love to take classes again. or something like that but anything I.

have no options I can never do anything. with that felony is that the is that the. [ __ ] thing you should be. sending yeah it doesn't mean just if. someone pays their price and does their. time I feel like they should just if as. long as they're not doing anything else. as long as they're not committing more. crimes it should be a regular member of. society now let me explain something to. you in my world for me to get to where I. got when I walked out of that prison. cell I became a regular member of. society but imagine if you're 20 years. old and you do something stupid and you.

get locked up for it and then you are no. longer a voting member of society I was. 25 yeah I was 25 yeah 1987 I'm 24 1988. I'm 25 Joe yeah I got out when I was 27. 20 27 and a half. maybe and God thank God I could sell. thank God I could [ __ ] sell ice to a. [ __ ] Eskimo you know thank God you. have that skill at least you could sell. cars or insurance or whatever I can't.

get registered I can't work at the. stocks I could always be like you're a. stock broker I could always make call. calls for your [ __ ] like that but in my. world I didn't want to go back what was. I going to do what are you going to do I. can't even be an acupuncturist that. probably makes a lot of people go back. to Crime exactly people give up I when I. found out they didn't do background. checks at comedy clubs how [ __ ] happy. was I and I was still skeptical and then.

it was one guy that saved my life Tim. Allen Tim Allen I was just gonna say. that when I heard that Tim Allen did. boom yeah boom I'm like okay and then. [ __ ] got on Disney and I'm like. okay I just want to get to The Comedy. Store I don't want to get on Disney I. don't want to go on NBC let me ask you. this what happened to you where you. figured out how to be be funny on stage. cuz you were always okay on stage but. you would have some rough sets and then.

there was one. day it was one day in the O you were. telling stories backstage you know we'. have that little back parking lot area. you were telling stories and you went on. stage just [ __ ] guns blazing and you. murdered harder than I'd ever seen you. kill before I was like this is crazy. it's like a different person like you. were stiff on stage before you're like. oh you didn't like that joke all right. and you go into another joke and like. you had a joke and a joke and then one.

day you went on stage just guns blazing. and it was not I always tell everybody. it wasn't like it was a slow gradual he. got better it was like you were here and. then. boom bro you get punched in the face one. too many times and after one punch you. go that's it I'm not doing this and I. just want to tell you something because. I talked to Ari about this. if well I'm definitely going to do 10. minutes tonight to [ __ ] around with you.

I have a plan Joe if you know anything. about me you know I always got a plan. you got plans I always got a. plan for me to do standup again I don't. want to travel I'll come down here do a. residency down here for you whatever the. [ __ ] you want Storyteller whatever you. want I got no problem with that I don't. want to hang dates all over me that. gives me a lot of. anxiety and I don't want to be doing. doing anything else for the first time. if I go back to Comedy I told Ari this I. go Ari cuz Ari says you might not do a.

podcast no more and I go you're done are. you so silly I go if you don't want to. do it don't do it just focus on stand up. for the next five years CU he's he's. about to turn 48 or something I go just. to stand up for the next five years. nothing else right no podcasting no. films no you don't have to worry about. anything and he goes you know you got a. good point because I wrote the new. special when I couldn't edit no more. that [ __ ] this is not happening. show you've always spoken about this. just to stand up yeah when I got to La I.

was theread just to do standup but then. everybody started throwing all these. things at me and I got confused and then. I realized I'm at the store I I came. here to do standup and that's what we. are I think even now the standup comic. is too we're all over the place now we. used to just do standup we used to just. do stand up they got comics doing. everything now it's great but it takes. away from who the [ __ ] we really are. well when I was doing Fear Factor I.

didn't tour hardly at all and all cuz I. was really working a lot it was a lot of. hours and I was mostly just doing the. store and I remember hearing about. people that were doing the road and I'd. get jealous I was hearing about people. just doing standup and I would get. jealous but I also knew I was very. fortunate I also knew like hey man. not a lot of people get a hit television. show you got to you got to keep doing. this like this is this is money that you.

could literally do whatever the [ __ ] you. want now you could like literally not. ever worry about money what that's a. giant thing to have so I was like okay. but I remember thinking man all these. guys are just doing stand up it looks. like so much fun I would talk to dudes. after they did Thursday Friday Saturdays. and Sundays they'd come to the store on. Tuesday and I'd be like where were you. like oh I was in Columbus how was it oh. it's [ __ ] great yeah Saturday night. the [ __ ] show was so good they're. telling stories and this and that I'm. like a and you know like oh your hour.

gets so tight you know you roll in. Thursday with a new joke by the time. Saturday late show it's [ __ ] cracking. like yeah but if I all I was able to do. is like do like week nights and weekends. occasionally at the store but I really. couldn't didn't have the time to travel. well at least you did that think of all. the guys that came to La as good. stand-ups got a job on a TV show and say. [ __ ] up [ __ ] stand up yeah and they. got caught up in the TV show and then. they never did stand up again and that's. one thing I always really respected.

about you and I told people all the time. I go in the height of his game this. [ __ ] would still do is 10:45 on. a Friday night after he just grabbed a. huge paycheck all week on some TV show. was was news radio or the other one. you'd never be late for your Friday. night spot and that's character that. built a lot of that made me uh it. inspired me like this guy doesn't give a. [ __ ] because nine out of 10 comics. they'll tell you how much they love. comedy once they got to the TV show it's.

over they're not coming down there again. and I I get it I get it but you didn't. really love comedy the whole time do you. know what I'm saying yeah you've always. and that's what I like about standup I. don't have to travel Joe I could just. shoot into the stand three nights a week. do 15 and you know how you prove it it's. really the standup is cuz like the store. wasn't even giving you any money like. what you 25 bucks. foral for for 15 minute set we weren't. doing it for money we were doing it to.

work on standup I enjoyed being broke it. was accepting I was accepted at that. time as being broke you accept being. broke for the [ __ ] honor to come here. on two four five nights a week that's. what you switch you give away that to. take that and when think about for. people watching this right now how much. does standup mean to you where you you. don't even care about money I didn't. care what happened to me at that time I. didn't care where I slept when I would.

go on the road what you think I had. [ __ ] you know who shows to an open. mic on a. Lamborghini you know what I'm saying. nobody right nobody's funny you know no. nobody shows up to a l an open mic in. Lamborghini nobody one kid what I. started with he had a rich what do you. call those Rich hot mamas he had oh he. had a sugar mama yeah he had a sugar. mama this kid was horrible he did. impersonations but it was all one his. resume you opened it up his bio was a. living 3D resume whoa she had made like. a hundred copies of this [ __ ] book.

that came out it was him as Tony Montana. and him is like Charlie Chan and all. these and that was his name is he's. probably even not in the business. anymore but his name it was like d the. the man of a thousand voices but in. Denver they said but you only heard. one and I still remember him going down. to the comedy work one of the best clubs. in the country at that time this. 94 and him doing an open mic and me. doing an open mic and me like doing okay.

but he just go bomb and he would come. off the stage this is this is how crazy. comedy is and he would have his tape. recorder the old ones and he would be. pounding it and I go what's the matter. he goes this [ __ ] tape recorder don't. pick up the. laughter I go oh my God you know how. many times this guy would call me up. after that like I left I was in Seattle. and he go I got to ask you a question he. goes I just got down to coconuts he. booked me as a headliner and then after.

the first night he booked me to a. feature he demoted me now I'm the MC and. I'm seating people should I stay cuz in. coconuts you had to seat people if you. were the MC you didn't know that no. those chains in Florida I don't even. think they're still open this is how far. long ago it was so when you worked at. coconuts if you were the MC you had to. seat people he got hired as a headliner. when he got there on Tuesday he was the. headliner he ate ate such a bag of [ __ ]. on Tuesday they met him the [ __ ]. feature on Wednesday he ate such a bag. of [ __ ] on Wednesday they met him the MC.

on that's how bad this guy was but he. was filthy rich the chick would get him. suits and lights and. unbelievable he had a [ __ ] he had a a. guy on stage already as an open micer he. already had a sound. guy the people you [ __ ] meet in this. struggle my friend I know it's. interesting when you you stay with them. the whole time like one of the. interesting things about being good. friends with Greg uh Fitz Simmons is. that we literally started out a week.

apart from each other so we were there. for all these crazy show we were we were. there in a car once and we were driving. to this gig and we were with this guy. and we're we're just talking about. different stuff and this guy was this. little feeble guy with. glasses and uh you know we're talking. about like one guy was complaining about. his girlfriend she does this he goes. well uh my woman insists that I put a. dildo in my ass we're like. what you put a dildo in your ass it's.

was like yep yeah she she wants me to do. it and it's not bad we're just in the. car driving and to this day Greg and I. will talk about that and just [ __ ]. cry laughing we're like what the [ __ ]. are you saying she does what to. you like those people they're insane. people you mean like literal insane. people the open mic world is a [ __ ]. fantastic world and it's funny as [ __ ]. too it' be a great sitcom yes it is like. a a single camera like a you know like a.

Louie style come on look at let's just. talk about the Sunday nights at the. store when we were there when I used to. host the 7:00 to 9:00 the open mic yeah. yeah and I quit because there too much. walking up and down the stairs three. [ __ ] minutes I'm up and down at from. 8,000 calories so she gave me 10 to 12. but that helped you a lot too because. you got loose like [ __ ] around in. between the acts and you know making fun. of things and well right there I was. working really close with mity and Missy.

was a confidence Builder you know that. yeah just she didn't have to give you a. note if you went up with her and killed. you got better yeah because the first. couple times in front of mity were. always like kind of gawky yeah so the. more you go up in front of mity on a. Sunday the more confidence you get and I. still remember going somewhere in like. 2002 like uh. Indianapolis uh Notre Dame in Indiana. they used to have a comedy club there a. funny bone and I was dating that crazy.

chick from Mish Walker from Michigan and. I'll never forget like 2000 n maybe like. 2000 and I'll never forget that I went. there for a a [ __ ] showcase and I'm. not the type of guy that would open his. mouth like that he told me come on. Sunday and do 10 and if you're funny. I'll bring you back like okay and I went. down and after I did great great I did. great but afterward he was like well I. don't like and I stopped him I go stop I. don't mean any disrespect I perform in.

front of Mitsy short [ __ ] three times. a week shut the [ __ ]. up you ain't gonna give me no [ __ ]. note Tarzan you he know the Dame you. don't know dick about. Dick I really did he was a great guy we. both laughed about it but in my mind I. had that confidence in my heart like. right save it [ __ ] I'm in front of. mitti yeah say go [ __ ] yourself she was. the ultimate Mentor she was and that she. gave me that that was the other thing. like she just you know when you're in.

front of her a lot and she don't have to. say nothing to you just you killing in. front of her that's it I'm wearing my. dick on my [ __ ] shirt I don't give a. [ __ ] she also was the the very best at. taking comics and putting them in. dangerous spots taking people and. putting them after people that they. really probably shouldn't be following. me yeah with all of us she would put me. after Ira or that [ __ ] dude I've told. you a thousand times I still have. nightmares about that dude what's that. dude the brother with the dreads godamn.

it I just dog I still have this drivve. me nuts you you killing me I can't. remember his name me neither great kid. we'll figure it out I can't even figure. out what to tell Jamie to find him yeah. God damn it it's just weed it's a real. problem these 420 shows bro don't blame. on the weed I could pull his name out if. I didn't have the we on me God damn it. two alpha brains I'll [ __ ] pull his. name out I just saw K Kirkland oh [ __ ]. on a podcast with uh I was dying a. laughter with that [ __ ] Godfrey.

ah Godfrey and TK Kirkland like I. remember TK Kirkland from the store. early days he early days he was always. you always talking about him yeah I. liked him a lot I liked him have you. seen Eddie Griffin when was the last. time you saw Eddie I see him online I. haven't seen him in forever I want I. send him messages he won't return my. messages I'd like he if he was in front. of you'd give you a big hug dog I always. love that listen I think that you and. Eddie and regardless of what you might. say could be a good podcast for three.

hours I would talk to Eddie Griffin for. three hours I think come on dog how. about the night we were behind The. Comedy Store tell these [ __ ]. what he said to you about that Bruce Lee. for a thousand guys I was there with you. so I can't I could you can't you can. repeat this cuz I was there with you I. remember we walked the pink dot we. walked the Pink Dot and you're like I. don't know I don't know about it. remember but he just loved telling. stories and it didn't even matter if the. story was true did Bruce Lee fight a. thousand.

guys I don't know what the [ __ ] it was. it was so ridiculous you heard it too. yeah he mean the whole thing is. happening while I'm working for the. Ultimate Fighting Championship he's. telling me about how Bruce Lee fought a. thousand people and I'm like what the. [ __ ] are you talking about man he was an. actor Bruce Lee is an innovator in. martial arts a hero he was amazing guy. but no he didn't find a thousand people. it was one guy and he hit him with a. punch CU I still remember that speech it. was 3:00 in the morning I was a little. [ __ ] up but I would listen to that. speech all day long man Eddie Griffin.

would describe to you in detail how they. built the pyramids let me tell you about. Eddie Griffin Eddie Griffin was there I. introduced myself to Eddie Griffin the. first night I walked into the originals. the first night I ever walked into the. store was a Monday and Eddie was there. with Tupac not Tupac tumac the kid who. was the last dragon yeah yeah last. dragon okay the show going to Harlem he. was in there with. there was eight people in the audience. Bruce Leroy Don Baris was. hosting Wheels was there and that was it.

on a Monday night and I want Dom Baris. put me up out of a favor to nobody to. himself and Eddie saw. me didn't say nothing to me but then I. got a showcase and Eddie was there and. he told me that night I'm GNA sit next. to Mitsy he's a good dude he sat next to. mitti when I was on stage so no. [ __ ] will talk to her. yeah and you they would laugh the Todd. did that for me people would tell you to. do that too like if guys you knew they.

were going to Showcase you sit next to. mity and laugh he was good to me and. then I I bumped him to on the plane one. time this is before 9/11 when you can do. whatever the [ __ ] you want on the plane. and I moved up to first class with him. and he goes just sit here stay here with. me and that was how I met Eddie and I. gave him a picture of Bruce Lee's grave. I had taken wow and ever since that we. just hit it off and he would always. throw me little bones and he would bump. me for [ __ ] six hours but I never.

really got mad at him for that his set. on Def Jam to this day was one of the at. at the time I remember thinking God damn. this guy's talented remember he had. shorts on do you remember that Alexander. gr Bell invented. the what was theone why because he was. doing coke yeah right yeah to go like uh. how high you got to be. to be like I want to talk to someone. who's not even here that was it I want. to talk to someone who's not.

here that was a great joke bro he had. some great bits man and he was so. physical he was real Lean Back Then real. physical on stage he had all this energy. I remember watching I think I was living. in New York at the time I think I just I. watched it on HBO and I was like holy. [ __ ] is this guy good you know who I. studied a lot who I was a fan of when I. first the comedy and I'm a fan of them. still till this day I just saw he's. doing a. show uh the brothers from St.

Louis the Wayne's Brothers no the other. brothers you're friends with the young. oh the Tories the Tories guy and Joe oh. my God they're great Joe was the warmup. for death cam we were coming up Joe was. the only guy that I ever saw kill and be. yolked at the same time this. [ __ ] would go on stage with like. a vest on built like Mike Tyson just. jacked and he would kill I don't know. how he did it like I don't know he's not. even remotely self-conscious Jamar.

neighbors can do it too Jamar neighbors. goes on stage shirtless and he's [ __ ]. shredded and it's funny it works I miss. Jamar neighbors I love Jamar neighbors. where is he he's back in La I thought he. was down here with you guys no he came. out he spent some time here he did the. podcast like what like a year and a half. ago he's he's I love that dude he's a. legit boxer you know neighbors can box I. didn't know that he showed me video of. him fighting he's at amateur fights. Jamar neighbors can crack no [ __ ] no.

[ __ ] he can. box that's crazy yeah that's where that. body's from he does all these crazy. calisthenics if you go on his like uh. Instagram I think he's got all his crazy. workouts he does that dude's in serious. shape he looks strong as [ __ ] he's shred. you see him on his uh his Instagram he's. got like a video put up of him doing. stand up with a mohawk he glues a mohawk. yeah yeah and he's just [ __ ] ripped. like this is him boxing that's Jamar. dude he's good man he's like a good.

amateur boxer he's very fast too I mean. how old is Jamar he's got to be in his. late 30s right no I thought he was a. little younger than that right how old. is he I don't know I've known him. forever I don't know I he's got to be 35. right 37 37 37 wow I thought he was a. little younger 33 he's a good boxer. though so it's very rare that some but. guy Tory was the first guy that I ever. saw that went on stage with uh like a a.

vest. on I was like what look at him there's. Jamar sh white slavery he's SED Nazi hat. look how shredded Jamar is I mean that's. ridiculous I'm telling you he goes on. stage looking like that and he kills. Malachi I like that name he's just a fun. dude to be around um but find uh find. guy Tori dog I still remember one of his. bits or Joe Tor Joe Tor Jo tor's bit.

when he warmed up him [ __ ] Martin. Lawrence that was a hell of a lineup do. dud that was my worst bombings of all. time when I had follow Martin lawence at. the store over and over and over again. and I'm going to tell who the best. performance I'm going to tell you the. best performance ever on [ __ ] Def Jam. Dio hugley as a host when he got a. standing ovation I never saw anything. like that in my. life yeah how about as a host got a. standing I mean ripped the [ __ ] room.

apart I will never forget that Jo Tor. here you ready for Jo Tor yeah I got a. brother who's one of those save the. whale [ __ ] but I'm thinking. about getting a gun I'm dying to shoot a. [ __ ] man I could see me with a. gun hanging outside a ATM machine with a. tuxedo on come out of the bushes I'm. going to shoot you something about uh. [ __ ] buying a gun and he wanted to. shoot somebody so he would hang out at. an ATM with a tuxedo on every night I.

[ __ ] loved that joke how he and one. night I said it to him and he's like man. I haven't heard that in years that's. great you just reminded me he h his. brother with good dudes you ever think. about dudes who didn't make it where you. can't understand. how like you're like God damn that guy. was good like what the. [ __ ] I always I always use re Reggie. mcfat re mcfaden is like I don't I do. not know I think he got into real estate. or something but Reggie mcfaden in like.

1992 when I was living in New York uh my. friend John John Tobin was opening up. for Reggie at the champagne Comedy Club. the champagne comedy club was this dude. was hilarious this old school black dude. who owned it he was like no. [ __ ] like he had rules he goes. you don't say the [ __ ] had a big ass. you say the woman had a wide behind and. he would like tell guys how to to talk. comedy but it didn't matter with Reggie. because Reggie Zach was clean and I'm. telling you this [ __ ] murdered.

he I I was in this room watched him John. had gone up he brought him up and we we. sat and watched Reggie and he. murdered I mean to the point where I was. like I'm looking at the next Eddie. Murphy I'm looking at the next Superstar. like this this is a can't go wrong. Talent he was so he had this joke about. meeting a pretty girl and she's got an. ugly friend that you can't shake and he. the ugly he has the ugly girl smashed. through his window and he's physical so.

he like he burst through the window on. stage where are you and it was just like. it was he was so funny man he was so. talented and I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened people change. people see things they don't want to do. Cory Miller was one of those guys what. happened with him Zoo little Zoo. remember yeah but what happened with him. he just went back to raise his kid w in. Atlanta he still does comedy still does. comedy in Atlanta I I know somebody saw. him at a college and he said to say. hello to me people just change their.

priorities man it happens all the. [ __ ] time you know you think about. the two dudes who were in Guns and Roses. the one guy Izzy that just left what. does he feel like. today you know didn't you have a guy on. from sound garden here a couple Jason. Everman Jason Everman he was was he. original guy or he was in uh Nirvana. okay and then he got kicked out of. Nirvana he was in sound garden and he. got kicked out of sound garden how do. you think he feels today he was not very. happy no well now he's happy now he's. fine I mean he really he's a very much.

at peace guy very intelligent guy but. he's also had like a very like. fascinating life he's a special forces. guy and he went to did tours in Iraq and. Afghanistan multiple tours in. Afghanistan went to Colombia got a. degree at Colombia he's a brilliant guy. so like uh I think he's a a very. thoughtful person and his path was a. great path for him but at the time he. felt like total dog [ __ ] they just. honored the guy from the original bass.

player from sound guard and he was like. on the first two albums I always. wondered what happened to that [ __ ]. dude and how they feel now that they. were in had an opportunity to be in this. monster of a band you know isn't that. the craziest thing about artists guys. like Chris Cornell who was so [ __ ]. talented and so like you know. universally loved and still takes his. own. life that's that just shows you like how. fragile mental health is and people's.

states of mind and how you know you. could just not see the thing I mean that. [ __ ] was beloved like his voice. was [ __ ] insane it was it had so much. power he's a really [ __ ] tal SPO come. on are you kidding me and the [ __ ] you. and I were listening to Spoon Man. remember I had that Suburban with all. the big speakers in it and [ __ ] we were. sitting in my no it was a denal it was a.

Yukon Denali Denali and we were sitting. in the Denali in The Comedy Store. parking lot just jamming The Spoon Man. Spoon. Man and you were you like you were. screaming if you don't like this song. you're not real [ __ ] you don't. like spoon man are you out of your. [ __ ] mind you were just so into this. song and I still remember the night you. came up to me out of cold and you. go how can somebody listen to The. Beatles after they listen to blow up the.

outside world by sound guard you're like. and I said to you I go you know what's. crazy that you could tell Chris was a. beetle fan when you hear that jam but I. get what you were saying that day like. it was such I changed my perceptions on. that I don't I I became a much bigger. Beatles later on me too but back then. but look blow up the outside world is a. masterpiece. that song's. a it's a masterpiece of sound everything. about it it's like a spiritual.

experience that song that song is a [ __ ]. and if you're high if you're like. sitting in your living room and you. smoke a joint you put the headphones on. you listen to that oh my God that song's. incredible it's crazy how I had views I. hated the Beatles give me some of that. [Music].

especially if you're high and you listen. to this. Joey there's some music that's just. accentuated by weed. [Music]. now. [Music].

for. [Applause]. [Music]. [Applause]. [Music]. [Applause]. everything me all. [Music]. alone give everything. [Applause]. [Music]. [Applause]. and. down the.

[Applause]. outside the outside. world. ooh what a song I Like it towards the. end when they do the drum thing and he. says that he holds that one note yeah oh. my God keep it going Jamie keep it. [Music].

[Applause]. [Music]. going you. [Applause]. [Music]. [Applause]. [Music]. heav we you.

[Music]. [Applause]. I the. out the. outside the. outside theide. [Music]. [Applause]. [Music].

[Applause]. [Music]. what a talented [ __ ] that guy. was. now talking to the. Beatles after we didn't have. appreciation for the Beatles growing up.

not because I didn't like them because. everybody always broke my balls on how. good they were and I've told this story. before I love John Lennon but the day. John Lennon got shot it was the happiest. day of my life because I won the. argument now because every time you. couldn't [ __ ] say nothing with Beetle. people every time you said like oh my. God I went to see the stones last night. what a great album shattered what a. great album miss you is some. [ __ ] would say yeah it's a great. album but wait till the Beatles get back.

together [ __ ] stay away the heavens a. great song yeah it's great but wait till. the Beatles get back together they. always had me I always lost that. argument you had to walk away like yeah. he got a point the day John lenon got. shut that argument went out the window. [ __ ] they ain't getting back together. so shut the [ __ ] up now okay it's Led. Zeppelin who's running. things in fact they had a beetle mural. at my high school somebody put an ex. through John lennin the day after he got. shot cuz we didn't want to hear that. argument no more everybody got sick of. that [ __ ] argument all right and I.

love John I don't want people you know I. love all those albums [ __ ] shave fish. and all that stuff why My Guitar Gently. Weeps oh I love all that [ __ ] oh my God. I love the Beatles from re revolver on. once they did the ass and started. smoking dope I like all that [ __ ] that's. really good stuff before that she loves. you yeah yeah yeah it's okay I get it. but no it was a different time yeah. different time of the World when they. went to India and smoke with that. Maharishi and started playing all that. [ __ ] and opened up the horizons they.

were good man isn't it interesting that. the kids that grew up that were into. like ACDC lead Zepp those were not. necessarily kids that were into the. Beatles some of them were my crew was. all like Jim Morrison was the doors Van. Halen Led Zeppelin Van Halen was current. that was like the current band that. every body was into but it it was old. bands it was always played Stairway to. Heaven or somebody wanted to get crazy. you play Freebird when that guitar solo.

goes on in Freebird when you're 16 years. old and you listen to that song you're. like holy. [ __ ] to this day that that is in my. opinion that's the greatest guitar solo. of all time that guitar solo is [ __ ]. insane there's so much good music so. much good music it's so like you get. caught up with one thing with during the. pandemic I got back into music and I put. on I bought vinyl I got into vinyl again. I [ __ ] love it you know and it's so.

weird how an album will take you back. like I got an album now it'll take me. back for a week like I'll play the album. when I'm writing when I'm doing [ __ ] you. know take you back to those days like. just but you also hear things that's why. I don't like doing music reviews and. [ __ ] because I learn more about the. music the more I listen to it. like every time I put on like I don't. put on lead Zeppelin no more but you're. in your car you head it back you crank. it up you always hear something you.

haven't hear heard and go wow I used to. always crank a whole lot of love when I. was on my way to the store CR all those. all that [ __ ] but that was the song that. was a song that I wanted to hear when I. was on my way to the. store that [ __ ] jam oh my God and and. then there's like a minute and a half of. [ __ ] sounds in that song a minute and a. half it's. like with a little symbols in the.

background Zeppelin 2 is very. interesting cuz it's. dirty it's dirty yeah here we go give me. some of this it's dirty me go shoot a. load. quick. [Music]. honey this is the get ramped up to go to. The Comedy Store. [Music]. song and this sound sucks you got to. listen to this on like real speakers.

something about the way it's coming. through my ears it sounds like dog [ __ ]. maybe I need new headphones no it's some. songs on YouTube for some. reason don't sound great when we run it. through here maybe it's because they. don't want you to be able to do that. maybe they want it to distort so that. you can't like just I think it has to. take the music down could be the cable. I'm using I don't know oh. that's more logical I mean sometimes. some things sound fine and maybe we. should get a better cable that's I just. I don't know why some things sound. perfect and other things don't should we.

replace the cable it might not fix it is. also the thing okay it could be that but. it would it be nice if we could hear it. like really. good that seems like it should be. possible it also could be like I have to. find a good source you know right so. some of these might not be the best. they're probably compressed too right. yeah doesn't not great either keep it. going though let me hear some of. that that's better that's.

better I had a 2002 Toyota Supra turbo. that I got the craziest sound system. ever put into this [ __ ] thing I just. this is like when I was on Fear Factor. and I was like what do you have like. what can you do and they said we can. engineer a sound system just for your. car. and I'm like oh my god let's do it and. they put like there was a subwoofer. under the front seat or under the back. seat like you couldn't push the back.

seat back and these crazy speakers in. the dash and put speakers here and. speakers there and they have that you. put a microphone in your seat so they. can like tune to your seat I don't know. how they did it but when I would play. this in that car the music would dance. around the car like you could hear the. guitar from over here you could you know. what I would really hear it in was seal. when you kiss by a rose there's sound. coming from all over the place in that. song well what's that taping called that.

style of recording cuz that's on that. album cuz even when you listen to it. when you were a kid and you had two sets. of speakers. Ah that's what I was just saying what I. was saying is my do you remember that. Supra that um uh Toyota 911 Turbo that's. what it was that was a super turbo 911. Turbo that had a 2002 911 Turbo I had. that crazy sound system in it yes and. that sound system the sound would bounce. around with that song so that was like. my warm-up song when I was listening to.

that song and I was driving down. Sunset it was like coming and all the. with the humping sounds. like drifting around the car give me. some of that J so when you do acid or. something like that that's what you that. oh it's dancing you start hearing that. [ __ ] those little speakers I've. always thoughted they recorded like. thinking that you were going to do acid. like Pink Floyd I know recorded thinking. that you were going to be tripping oh. for sure they were they [ __ ] with you. like that you know you got it oh I was.

looking for a stereo mix to see if I. could find one that was going to do it. better what was the name of the kid. speaking of with when you got to La you. bought a nice car and then you didn't. want it no more who did you sell that. super to oh comedian yeah he disappeared. after which it wasn't that it was a. Volkswagen I had a uh Volkswagen cado. and he only had a certain amount of. money and I said okay what what was his. name [ __ ] forget his name did he date. Kelly Kiren I don't believe so did he.

but he was uh was a nice kid nice kid I. was just starting to make some money so. he was funny yeah what happened to him. man some of them just the pressure the. overwhelming pressure of constantly. performing it just it gives them anxiety. and they never survive it they just it. cracks them here it is. so this is me coming down Laurel Canyon. I would always time it I knew like when. to start playing it I would start. playing it when you hit that store you. know that little Country Store Laur can.

when I hit that that's when I would. start the song and by the time I'm. snaking all the way down Laurel and I. get to the bottom and I take that. [Music]. turn you're playing two different things. [ __ ] it up Jimmy. I was trying to show you little canyon. oh oh I see. [Music]. it this was the way I would come over.

from the valley if I didn't take the 405. I'd go this way [ __ ] this line yeah the. [Music]. traffic this was just like the perfect. let's [ __ ] go. [Music]. song all right. this song made me smoke pot this one did. that was. it and you think over but it's not.

over you think it's winding. down you hear that I was going to bring. this up can you hear in the background. you can hear his voice yeah that's part. of what happened with the tape that's. like a accident oh no way the tape is. tight stored too tightly kind of. meanwhile it's perfect yeah sounds. perfect it's. [Music].

[Applause]. [Music]. accident. oh here we go co. [Music]. suckers I want to be your back man.

hey. hey. [Music]. hey God damn that's a good. TR and there'll never ever be anything. like this ever again well it was so. unique for the time too that's this the. second this is the second [ __ ] Al I'm. hooked on the fifth album now I've been.

listening to presents lately killy's. Last Stand about the ocean for your life. that's House of the Holy that was the. second album that put me over the top. that A to Z dancing days that my God no. court listen I was such a [ __ ] half a. little [ __ ] when I was a kid that when I. first got Led Zeppelin 2o I would play. Dancing Days oh oh oh oh oh oh you don't. have to go then it's supposed to be uh.

no quarter and then the ocean I would. skip over No Quarter scariest [ __ ]. song they had I only listened to it when. I got a little old I was like okay I'm. ready for this I love the Immigrant Song. The Immigrant Song on three listen and. that's what really shows you every album. they kind of Chang it up they got a. hillbilly song. called [ __ ] Gallows Pole it's a. hillbilly song or a country song Can you. Gallows Pole yeah can you ask Jamie to. put on listen to the beginning of this.

CH and it just picks up I used to eat. quo to this me and de we used to eat. quao with a bottle of poopa and POA fak. p o po oov that [ __ ] liquid and we. would [ __ ] go over and over in fact I. still got a a busted eye thing a vein. from the quao the. [Music].

[Music]. get. some get a. little what did you bring me my de. friends keep me from the. gall you bring me keep me from the. G that's that does have a country kind. of influence speed it up a little Jamie. get here we.

[Music]. go H hang hold a little one I think I. see my brother coming right in many. [Music]. you get a.

little I want bring me my brother keep. from. [Music]. the. everything theow. yes I've you keep it from the. yellows.

[Music]. hang they go full bat Joe Rogan here we. [Music]. go take him by the hand I take him to. some shady flow the of this. [Music]. man please take him s the of this.

man Hang Man Hang Man upon your face and. smile tell me that I'm free to ride. [Music]. ride oh yes you got a find sister she. want my gold she want my blood to boil. in h keep it from the. [Music]. yellows.

yeah my but now. iwing on. my. yeah but now I. laugh swinging on the. [Music]. G swinging. [Music]. little something different beautiful I. used to get [ __ ] and this album's got. Immigrant Song this and the best Leed.

zeppin song after all those songs Jimmy. Pig's best work since I've been loving. you oh yeah [ __ ] I'm telling you they. came up with something different every. [ __ ] album I love music today I I. can't also believe I just saw that. picture for the first time of James. Brown's mug shot yeah yeah is that from. the arrest in 91 yeah yeah that was. 91 he hit her and then they chased him. in the truck and [ __ ] my favorite thing. is when he got in trouble then he was on.

some talk show like right afterwards. with sunglasses. on that's right skirt around it he was. [ __ ] up yeah that's his mug shot. yeah what was uh so the other one was a. different time he got arrested it was a. car it was something else I. think was that something. else this one. that's a different one see if you can. find the interview with him there's a. hilarious James Brown interview where. he's like clearly highest kite and he's.

singing and having a good time it's very. very funny that's it CNN Janice Brown my. brother you in nework next week yes oh. you are coming yes okay here it is give. me some volume of this this is amazing. he's got these incredible sunglasses on. chares that brown denies he was released. yesterday on $15,000 Bond he joins us. for from Atlanta to discuss the charges. and we welcome you James Brown how did. all of this trouble begin Living in.

[Music]. America wrong nothing wrong at all. you're not in any difficulty but you're. out on bom no I'm. not have all the charges been dropped. yeah I'm out on. love well are you out on love or out of. love which is it out on love love alone. from night to night you find me now. James this isn't the first time you and. your wife have had a problem all the two. of you going to be able to work this out.

let's talk about some music you want to. talk about music and you don't want to. talk about what happened no it's all. over well let's talk about your tour. when are you leaving we're leaving. tomorrow and where are you going Rio Rio. de Janeiro and S Paulo Brazil now your. your fans will have read all about this. James aren't you concerned about that. no D I'm I'm I'm concerned because. there's nothing. wrong and what are you going to say to. your fans when they ask you some. questions I'm going to say I feel.

good I Got a Brand New Bag it's a man's. world well that's the second time we've. heard that in two days that's very now. don't leave us James you stay right. there we have more that we have to talk. about well tell us a little bit about. what you're going to be doing on this. tour huh what you say what are you going. to be doing on this tour. I'm going to be doing Pap's Got a Brand. New Bag Living in America sex machine. get up off of that thing I feel good jam.

now I understand that you have already. James I have to ask you one serious. question here I understand you already. have started divorce proceedings does. that mean that you're now eligible um no. yes I'm El I'm singing I want to mingle. you want to mingle now the women when. you get out there why do you think that. is what' you say the women love you when. you get out out there why is that ladies. well I'm asking you huh cuz I look good. that is I smell good I feel good and you.

sing good and make love good. oh well there we are we don't have to. ask anybody else we got that from the. source there you. are now you're involved in publishing a. gospel magazine tell us a little bit. about that the second coming it's uh. it's out of Augusta Georgia an Joseph P. young is the editor and James Ry one of. the. advisers and we're doing a fantastic job. the second coming it features uh on this.

week I think we have the pope and um I. believe the the Williams The Williams. Brothers and last and next week we're. going to have Rend Al shop I think on. the cover M and we'll be doing lot lot. of good things and hopefully we'll get. brother Ted Turner on the. cover Ted where you at James we want to. thank you for having for being with us. today and giving us an opport oh is. there something more you want to say. that we haven't covered lot of thing. okay I love you I love America I love.

everybody feel good it sounds to me as. though you're not troubled by any of. this at all this is a man's world thanks. for reminding us of that every once in a. while we forget get we remembered again. James good luck on your tour thanks for. being with us I guess we're going to. hear lots more. AO there's a guy that didn't give two. [ __ ] clearly he's coked up to the gills.

God knows what else is in his [ __ ]. system look at him look at him he was. good as a talented was that guy though. what was the the concert in zier yeah. the Muhammad Ali one yes Jamie play that. that was. incredible see if you could find that. because that that concert was insane. what year was that 74 yeah wow look at. him he's [ __ ] drenched yeah oh my God.

yeah that's the one with the. cape yeah this man will make your. bladder. splatter this man will freeze your. knees if you will let's all welcome the. world's Godfather of soul soul brother. number one James. Brown James. Brown James. [Applause]. [Music].

Brown God. [Music]. damn you God damn it. you. [Music]. want bab you. [Music].

got you know Joe this guy was the real. deal to it was a real deal what did he. do up in. Boston he has history of boy he did. something he saved he stopped the riot. they going to oh he performed after a. cop shot a black kid and the city was. was in a riot and they told him not to. perform and he goes I'm performing. something he did something the night. James Brown save boss yes very.

interesting thing oh there's a movie. about. it wow two days after Dr Martin Luther. King Junior's assassination singer James. Brown performs at the Boston Garden oh. wow two days that's. insane oh my God yeah he did something. wow okay I'll check that out these guys. I don't know these guys were different. era different world Pioneers real. Pioneers you know they were running.

against different I watched that [ __ ]. thing again a couple weeks ago The Green. Mile whatever the green book you know. that dude's in the South he [ __ ]. wanted to go sing in the South they. wouldn't let him [ __ ] they wouldn't. put him in a green room they wouldn't. let him perform in the eat in the dining. room with other people that was a. different [ __ ] world man and these. guys had so much courage Jackie Robinson. to face that I would fold how about ali. changing his name in the middle of it. and then not going into the Vietnam War.

they won't let him fight for three years. and dur in the middle of his prime it's. [ __ ] crazy it's crazy so you really. got to nod to these guys cuz. man they came up in a tough time then I. I always see those pictures like him Jim. Brown and Muhammad Ali and they all got. together you know. it's pretty impressive man different. type of savages it's a different world. it's imagine being a kid in like the. 1960s when you see Hendrick for the.

first. time there was when and you if you were. 15 years old 5 years before Hendrick. there was nothing like that no nobody. prepared anybody for anything like. that I saw a lot of [ __ ] when I came. from I learned a lot man and I that [ __ ]. is always stuck with me the stuff I saw. you. know hands tremendous and it's. tremendous when's it when's it available.

May May 2nd you could order it now on. Amazon like pre-order it when can you. get the uh audio book May 2nd oh. everything May 2nd nice [ __ ] tough to. write man I'm sure you know how it is. with these [ __ ] things you got to dig. deep and ask questions book is a lot of. a lot of soul searching too I'd imagine. yeah no while I was doing it I was. [ __ ] up as hell that's why I figured. I'd do it then you did it while you were. getting off the benzos yeah well I was. just I just moved I did the knee surgery.

it was like a thousand things I didn't. even know I was withdrawing like I said. until I went to I did the knee surgery. and something happened with my heart and. one of the doctors came in and we. started talking and he kept looking at. me weird he was a Spanish dude and I. [ __ ] he gave me his card and I called. him when I got out and he goes come see. me something wasn't right that night and. he did a. physical and I went back to see him. blood that type of [ __ ] and he goes.

everything was right you know everything. was okay I don't know what he put me on. a heart monitor and he goes your heart's. fine I don't know what the [ __ ] you're. talking about and his assistant said are. you still taking the. Xanax and I go yeah and she goes that's. what's going on with you look at the. charts doc he's been on them since 2012. 12 and I go no I just been using them. since the pandemic started and that's. when she goes no you got to stop. withdrawing I didn't even know I just.

had a horrible [ __ ] feeling how long. do you think it takes when you're on. those things before you're. addicted two weeks maybe really well I. didn't see I would take them and then. forget about them I would put them in my. top pocket and then go to the store and. not take them MH and then I would just. wash them there was a lot of times I. would take them I would bring it with me. and in case I got like a little [ __ ]. you know but Joe the funny thing about. this if I tell you this goes back to. when I was a. kid in the simplest way you ready for.

this I was a little [ __ ] fruit cake. when I came from Cuba do you know I. sucked the pacifier thought I was. six so after like I was three they took. him away from you but I'd hide them in. strategic places and whenever [ __ ] got. danged I go over suck it put it down and. then I [ __ ] go back to what was going. on here so when I lived in 88 Street in. New York City my mom had a juke box at. the bar so every week the guy comes in. he gives you the old 45s is that what.

they call 45s so I don't know what they. were they were all different type. Spanish music you know black music rock. music my mother had a a great taste in. that in the juke box so I would have. [ __ ] boxes of singles I lived on the. third floor and if you go to 205 three. 205 W they even today you pull up to it. you'll see my where I live where I grew. up right there on the third floor but. you see that there's a like a parking. garage there they never really it's like.

an old building now it's redone again. they did something when we were kids we. played back there so whenever I had. anxiety I would go upstairs to suck on. the pacifier I didn't I didn't I wasn't. cool enough to put them on the street. yet I would later in time I would put. them on the street and I would suck on. them when I was playing basketball or. something if things if they called the. file on me and I would. panic I would go upstairs and I had a. window that they couldn't see from below. cuz it was the back of the building so.

it was like an indentation and all our. Windows you can't see that from there so. I would take those 45 and I would whip. them they're like [ __ ]. boomerangs I would just sit there for 10. minutes and just whip them whip them. whip him and I'd hear people downstairs. what the [ __ ] stop it you [ __ ]. scumbag what's going on and then I run. downstairs and all these kids would be. holding on to their heads and [ __ ]. they're like where'd you go and I go I. went upstairs to go to the bathroom you. missed it the crazy guys throwing. records at us do you know how long I did.

that for I did that for about a year I. threw records at those [ __ ] I. cut them I did so many things to those. kids they never knew it was me but back. to it that's how I started going. upstairs to suck on the pacifier so I. always had something you know what I'm. saying like I always had my little you. wanted something to like help you out I. always has something to smooth in the. humps and the bumps I didn't know that. [ __ ] existed I ate those when you did. Coke when you do Coke that's when people. give you those things oh you have a hard. on take take two of these and you'll get.

a hard on you'll fall asleep I never. knew they were treated for anxiety or. whatever the [ __ ] who gives a [ __ ] when. you're on the street doing drugs what. they treated for there's a lot of people. with anxiety that's the problem and. getting off of that seems like it's one. of the worst things to get off. imaginable no man because now I deal. with it's so no I'm talking about the. withdrawal the [ __ ] you went through all. the withdrawals are horrible but it's. funny now when I do [ __ ] I always. remember like I had to do something in. the city a couple weeks ago I had to go.

for an audition as I was putting on my. suit I go insert Zanax now this is when. I would be putting his XX I would my. anxiety would start creeping up on me. I'd lose my breath like my breath would. go away from me and once I'd start. panicking forget I even had to take I. would Tak in Xanax to go to for a while. Jesus because of my anxiety and. Jiu-Jitsu now I have no anxiety in. Jiu-Jitsu now I go to Jiu-Jitsu I just. get beat up that's it it's great I go in. there and I breathe it's fantastic so.

you have to work in anxiety you have to. really breathe I did a lot of breath. workor I slept a lot I went back to my. Boulder roots and I meditated a little. bit which helps I don't get on the. computer in the morning anymore that. helps you a. lot I [ __ ] had a cup of coffee and I. sit on my balcony I look at the. mountains for 20 30 minutes we're in no. rush we got to Nowhere to. be I do a little grateful [ __ ] what I'm.

grateful for I pray for you I pray for. my friends you know I don't pray but I. hope every's all right you know you know. I'm Cuban I got my little faults but I'm. still like that bold the Buddhist [ __ ]. has always I can't cop to being a. Buddhist but sometimes I think about it. you know so so before I do anything I. make sure I'm good in the mornings I'm. grounded I used to get up and go around. on the [ __ ] computer and start doing. bong hits that ain't going to do nothing. come on man come on man you can't do.

that [ __ ] you can't do it yeah and this. is what you were saying before as you. get older you start learning you learn. more about what works and you try to. share it with people you know you're. like listen man don't get up anymore and. put that TV on and don't get up and open. that [ __ ] computer save yourself I. realized something else for the last. year I've been eating a fruit bowl for. breakfast every morning raspberries. bananas pears cherries whatever whatever. I could get on guess what now I don't. need sugar at. night is that the weirdest thing even.

when I get I can smoke 15 joints I don't. need sugar at night no more because I. got rid of that Sugar Crave in the. morning I think I don't know well it's. definitely the healthiest way to get. sugar I don't know I don't think anybody. says fruit's bad for you if they do it's. like for who yeah fruit fruit's great. listen if you take 22 aspin a day you're. going to die but one aspin ain't going. to [ __ ] kill you yeah two apples. ain't going to [ __ ] kill you you. know Jo I got to wrap this up got to get.

out of here where you going got a dinner. we just got here no it's already 4:30. it's 4:30 yeah that's it I'm not going. to see you oh come on you g to see me in. a couple hours okay who's coming tonight. who's doing the show with us U Russell's. here Russell's here um Tony Brian. Simpson um Assan Assan Amad. okay you and me Ron White Ron might come. down Ron was sick he's been sick for a. couple days hopefully he's feeling. better I'll call him up he looks good.

man Duncan call Duncan I'm I like to see. him yeah for sure I want to thank. laughing Gest they send you a bag oh. Christina's coming down tonight too. Christina's coming down good to see her. what do you call her Christina P okay. I'll call her. Christine okay I know it's one of those. that she gets pissed off at I don't know. what her name is yeah she don't like one. okay I love you you very much for having. me on thank you and everybody tremendous. the book is out May 5th May 2nd May 2. pre-order Amazon barondes & Nobles. thrift.com and you save no delivery.

charge you go on thriftbooks.com or. something all right by I love you I love. you appreciate you appreciate you being. all we're going to have fun bye. everybody. [Music].