Joe Rogan Experience #1957 - Shane Gillis

Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe. Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan. podcast by night all. day hey hey what's up J what's going on. baby nothing dude it's been fun huh that. was crazy yeah last night was [ __ ]. awesome that was sorry I got allergies. dude you hear my voice is that what's. going on very scratchy yeah is that the.

yeah there's a lot of like what is it. Cedar is it Cedar time as soon as I got. down here I got crushed there's ragwood. and Cedar and there's or rag weed. Ragweed Ragweed and Cedar and a bunch of. [ __ ] going on in this town oh I'm lucky. I don't get it really yeah I don't get. it oh I get [ __ ] destroyed dude my. family gets it though I had to wear. during Co I got like a lake house like. right when it was starting it was you. know it was March April so it was crazy. I had to wear [ __ ] ski goggles when. we were out on the boat.

dude I was getting [ __ ] face wearing. full ski I looked [ __ ]. crazy just cuz the pollen and [ __ ]. [ __ ] your eyes my eyes. were I was they were shut I was like is. this a side effect of Co oh no so you. know the very beginning so I was like. and that was back when every symptom was. Co so I Googled it I was like is pink. eye Co they're like you know we sampled. 10 [ __ ] Chinese guys yes I like [ __ ]. I'm. dying yeah.

we were like scared to go to the grocery. store really yeah we it was the very. beginning so I was in Key West when it. started so I was like [ __ ] it I'll just. get airbnbs and work my way back up to. New York really yeah it was awesome so. you were. in yeah we doing that little Club yeah I. heard that club's great perfect yeah. yeah it's a little little room you just. and it's Key West so what of those. people like down. there those are like checked out. flipflop wearing drunk ladies like you.

say dick they're like. yeah try to do one smart joke they're. like what what did you just say they're. not hear to they don't margar look at. the George Washington bit I'm like. slavery they're. like oh yeah oh no that would be hell. would be hell would be stuck around. people that you could never have a smart. conversation with that would be hell. yeah you know there's some people like.

you know like those people you have a. con you start a conversation you go oh. this is like level two forever yeah. we're at level two forever We're Never. Getting to level 10 I hate when someone. makes a point that you're like yeah you. know what I mean like when someone yeah. they're like here's what I've been. thinking lately oh no and it's like dude. yeah I thought of that in eighth grade. what are you talking about like maybe. God's not real it's like yeah yeah I. confronted that in sixth. grade it's just the reality ity of of.

people in their brains is just like the. reality of people and their eyesight and. people in their hearing and people in. their height and people in their nose. length like [ __ ] varies. wildly speaking of nose length did I. show you my 23 in May oh did that [ __ ]. that [ __ ] me up last night we were out. dinner and I was like dude look at about. 23 ad me results you're like yeah you. showed me yesterday you're really proud. of that it's [ __ ] weird and I was. just like.

[ __ ] it is weird it's just 100% Irish. yeah it was uh yeah it was fit Simmons. has that too he's 100% 100% he's all in. I couldn't believe it yeah I look at you. it looks pretty you look no it's it's. obvious yeah this potato face it's a lot. got rid of the mustache dude now you can. now you can see I don't have lips I'm. interested why what was the choice. behind that I don't know it was gross. really my chin hairs were [ __ ]. disgusting really yeah like long.

pubic was it getting scraggly yeah do. you wish he had the mustache still. though like you're kind of halfway. growing it back if I go just mustache. it's it's looking you're a cop yeah cuz. I got the Jou you're a corrupt cop yeah. with like child porn on your computer. whoa yeah like if a guy that look that. look snake porn he showed me a [ __ ]. guy yesterday that's having sex with a. snake I'm like what shout out my friend. Billy.

and then he he like shows it to all of. us while we're eating dinner then the. waiter kept walking by yeah he did that. on purpose 100% because it's like he. like lingered and then when the phone. came back out and he came back. in it wasn't it was the bus boy which is. a pretty funny Rumor for him to have. about you what that my friend wants. watch people [ __ ] I waited on Joe Rogan. and yeah he's watching snake porn and. eating Snak yeah he's going to blame me. yeah definitely he's going to blame me. for you you're in the snake porn he had.

this giant dude that's 100% Irish just. watch guys [ __ ] snakes some guy with no. lips just kept showing him [ __ ] guy. looks like you should have a mustache. but he. doesn't yeah it was as soon as I got. done shaving I was like [ __ ] that's. snake thing is wild yeah the guy was. actually [ __ ] the not like mouth. [ __ ] a snake but [ __ ] the snake. vagina or whatever they have it was. horrendous yeah probably shouldn't even. be talking about it I had no idea that. that could even done guys out there.

testing limits you yeah it didn't seem. like the snake was trying to get. away yeah probably not it's a pretty big. snake feel like the snake could have got. him SN was down there too his head was. also yeah whatever God damn snake was. kind of getting into it yeah it's a bad. but we were talking about it was like. how illegal is that like it's not like. child porn illegal but it's got It's. beastiality which is I don't. think it is illegal what is it illegal.

federally is it illegal to show your. friends I don't know I mean is it. illegal everywhere like what are the. what are the rules for. like [ __ ] snakes I mean [ __ ]. snakes I mean who cares chop their heads. off no one gives a [ __ ] like if you find. a snake outside you can just chop its. head off yeah no one gets mad but if you. kill a raccoon people get pissed at you. yeah but if you [ __ ] a yeah any well. it's theth it says that's been illegal.

to [ __ ] snakes any specifically any. animal any animal unnatural carnal. population interesting that's a good La. unw carnal copulation it's a good. law it's a funny way to dance around. just be like you [ __ ] snakes says. it's illegal in four states a want say. it's illegal in four states no legal oh. what states well it used to be legal in. Washington state Hawaii Wyoming.

Hawaii Mexico West. Virginia Hawaii Wyoming New Mexico still. getting after it used to be Washington. State up until that uh documentary. Zoo do you know about that documentary. no there was a guy to the beastiality. game there's there's a there's a guy. named uh they called him Mr hands oh yes. yeah Mr got [ __ ] to death by a horse. so so they made a documentary about it. called zoo and that documentary is.

pretty interesting and it got very. popular this is like I want to say this. is around the early 2000s right yeah. yeah and if you haven't seen it you. could just go Google Mr hands horse. you'll find somewh Lord you'll find it. some tough one to watch dude it's tough. when it gets in there you're like how. you're like how like where where's it. going also where did you think what did. you think was going to happen well he. had been [ __ ] multiple times by that. horse.

that was and that apparently the video. was not the one that killed him it was. another one that killed him that video. was a successful that was a success yeah. they got done they're like yeah they got. a gun the horse just jizzes immediately. too like good God all right got stop the. best part is the guy stop the guy who. guides the horse dick into his butt the. guy goes too. much yes when the guy makes the noise. like he's like too much the [ __ ] do you.

think how is he a magician like how is. he making that dick disappear at his. body there's not enough room in his body. oh yeah perforated his colon and just. ruptured his innards and bled out from. the. inside and then once they brought him to. the hospital uh the cops like [ __ ] what. the [ __ ] going on like oh you know. stuff like playing around I don't. know yeah it's a tough one it's a tough. one it's a tough way to go yeah but also.

like there was hundreds of hours of. footage it's pretty sad thinking of like. his mother you know she gave birth. holding that yes just being like someday. this guy's going to it's going to die. from getting [ __ ] by a horse I bet she. didn't think that no one no one saw this. coming someday he's going to be the. president yeah this guy's going to be. the president he's getting bought [ __ ]. by bought [ __ ] by a horse I think he. was a software engineer or something. work for Boeing yeah he work for Boeing. yeah so he was a very smart guy who just.

had to a strange. Kink kinks are [ __ ] weird yeah I. don't have any I'm so lucky yeah can you. imagine if you just like wanted to wear. women's shoes and get [ __ ] in the. butt like that's just your thing but. you're straight I'm straight but I just. got this thing you know yeah thank God I. don't know you know unless I probably do. I just don't I'm not even trying well. they think they say a lot of them. they're imprinted in your early.

adolescence yeah like as your body is. becoming sexual nothing weird happened. to me luckily thank God I dodged two. molestation attempts really yeah two. what did you dodge well I dodged one of. them when I was I probably was like. seven or eight years old that was the. scary well they were both pretty scary. but that was the scarier one cuz I was. at the library and uh I was by myself. you know I was a latch key kid they just. my parents just let me out of the house.

which you know at the time was kind of. normal in retrospect like thinking about. it now like I couldn't imagine letting. my. seven-year-old wander around not just. that but walk to the public library you. know in San Francisco and uh this guy um. I was looking at I you know I was always. into like um horror movies and monster. movies and [ __ ] and so I was reading. these books in this they had a section. of like you know Monster books yeah and. this guy came up to me and he goes uh do. you do you like Monster books I go yeah.

and he goes oh I have some Monster books. in my car you want to see them I'm like. no okay like I didn't know any better I. was [ __ ] 8 years old or whatever it. was and as I'm leaving with this guy the. um librarian start screaming Joseph you. get away from that man you know like you. that that man just got out of jail and. she she yells at him to get out of there. and the guy runs away and I just started. crying and I was like woo oh so I dodged.

that bullet and then another time when I. was 13 when I was 13 we were hanging. around this Lake in uh Jamaica plane uh. it was um this like uh Jamaica Pond was. this place we would go and fish and uh. there was another Pond that was like. this neighboring Pond that was like. slightly smaller and this guy was always. like running around the lake he was. jogging and me and my friend Josh would. be hanging out this guy would come come. over and talk to us you know he seemed.

like a super normal guy he used to be a. teacher and he had retired and you know. look probably was like in his. 60s then one day it's just me he went. for it one day it's just me and uh I'm. I'm fishing and he comes by and he's. drunk damn and uh he tells me he loves. me and I'm. like I'm like super confused how old. were you 13 and I had been talking to. this guy on and off i' had seen him you.

know for months like you'd come by say. hi it was always like casual very good. humored very friendly but he was like. setting us up and uh he comes by and. then I realized after he tells me he. loves me but there could be no love. without sex that's what he. says and I'm like what and I had a knife. so I remember like I grab I grabbed my. knife in my pocket and I had my hand on. my knife and I was like oh my God I'm.

going to have to stab this guy damn yeah. I was like this is going to cuz there. was no one around there was no one. around just trees and 13 like I'm going. have to stab oh I was going to cut this. guy I would I'm I would have trusted the. guy I would have been like yeah you're. right you're smarter than me I'll see. you later I don't know what you it was. dangerous we had a guy go for us there. was a guy that used to linger hilarious. dude he was he was mentally challenged. but he would always hang out around my. high school. and he would go to all the like.

basketball games one day the we had like. a tape recorder for the national anthem. to play at the beginning of the games. they would just hold a mic next to a. tape recorder it broke so the mentally. handicapped guy stood up and started. singing and the whole [ __ ] gym was. like they started listening everybody. just listened to the guy sing the nation. oh my god did he get all the words right. I I don't remember I doubt it I doubt it. I think it was freestyling a little and. The.

Rock but no he would try to get you he. would go to games but he was like a. again it was it wasn't that long ago it. was long enough that like people were. like yeah he's weird that old thing. where like if yeah there's a town. pedophile but he's a weird guy yeah so. he would like be like you guys want to. play football and we were little kids at. the high school football game playing. like touch football and he was like you. guys want to come out to my car I have. Nerf balls and we were all like no dude. stop trying to [ __ ] us like we knew he. was doing he just he was like all right.

see you guys did he get away with it. with. anybody probably if you get the mentally. handicapped guy tricks. you into getting into his car Nerf balls. I got Nerf balls out my car that's how. he gets you and we were just fully like. nobody would ever like take your advice. again like bro you got raped by that. [ __ ] idot that [ __ ] guy got. you you got raped by an idiot. dude yeah but just even if in like fifth. sixth grade we were like no dude St.

trying to rape us every neighborhood has. a guy yeah I didn't even realize the. other guy we had two guys the other guy. was his uh he had a tricycle with his. name on the a license plate like a fake. license plate on the front of his Tri it. was a sick tricycle but he would come. around and he would just he would speak. gibberish but every once in a while it. would get kind of sexual like he would. come over and just be like do you like. pancakes we're like yeah dude we love. pancakes and he's like do you put syrup. on your pancakes like yeah he's like you.

ever put syrup down your pants you ever. rub syrup all over. your stop stop he just keep tricing dude. Jesus Christ I he I don't know if he. ever I don't know if they ever actually. got anyone sometimes it just doesn't. work and they just keep swinging just. keep swinging forever [ __ ] it dude. they're. [ __ ] there's always like it was on it. was always on to catch Predator they. would always catch like a mentally. handicapped guy it was always a part of. me like yeah come on well OB gotta get.

them but everyone was off on that show. yeah you think you could do that show. today it's back on or he's doing it. again really Chron does it again we. might have talked about this before but. I love when they get [ __ ] Indian. dudes why Indian dud cuz they they're. just like yeah they're from India you. know what I mean oh and India you're. allowed to do that are you aware there's. a 13-year-old girl he's like yeah get. the [ __ ] out of here I'm trying to [ __ ]. this kid really yeah they get foreigners.

all the time that are just like I didn't. know that you guys laws yeah really the. laws in India I I don't want to be smch. India but too late probably I think if. you're from rural India you can [ __ ]. whoever's out there really well I mean. you think Jamie in the United States. there's parts of the United States where. the the age of consent was very low up. until recently yeah. like isn't it still like 16 in some.

states I'm sure I'm sure like especially. states that are very religious how the. [ __ ] is that not like a federal thing. yeah you know yeah the the religious. states I. think where it's like you get married. when you're 13 mhm I don't know yeah. Mormons what's Utah doing there was one. where if you for sexual if if someone. had sex the age of con sent for boy.

excuse me boy and girl was different. than boy. boy and the reason for that is that's. where the Catholic church had moved a. bunch of its priests damn yeah I me I. read that story like this I got I want. to say it's New Mexico I want to say it. was New Mexico I think they fixed that I. might have just spread a bunch of. misinformation [ __ ] it see if that's. true I was reading the India thing first. what's what's going on let's go with.

India first and then we'll go with the. yeah we're covering on basis early I. don't know the answer to this I'm just. giving you what I found why is. consensual teen sex a crime in India oh. for teens to have sex with each other. though okay all right well they changed. the law a decade ago to make it tougher. on cases of child sexual. abuse okay so it makes it criminalizes. all sexual activity by children under 18. interesting many uh consent adolescent. boys in consenting relationships are.

finding themselves on the wrong side of. the law interesting that's a bummer. interesting that's why those guys are so. [ __ ] horny you ever see them online. are they yeah they'll fire up Indian. dudes will hit you in comments show Bobs. show vagina need Bobs show Bobs I love. you show by Bobs yeah Bobs what they. they can't they misspell boobs they say. show Bobs Queen marry me show Bobs every. yeah every hot chick's picture is fall. by a thousand Indian dudes there's a.

billion people in India but they don't. have the same problem that China has. like China has that weird problem where. there's way more guys than there are. girls that's crazy they [ __ ] up the. fact that they didn't see the math on. that that one child policy I think. they'd be pretty good at that the math I. would think isn't that like a thing they. kind of know I don't know I don't know. anything about that I think. that it's like how the [ __ ] did they not. see where that was was going to be a. disaster in the future like there's a.

whole generation of guys that have no. girls that's like what are you going to. do there's no girls they're going to get. aggressive what the [ __ ] are they going. to. do damn yeah not good whack off the. cartoons because like even in this. country where it's 5050 yeah basically. do you know that like 64% of men are. single and only 34% of women are. single like. how how's. that how does that even work wait 64% of.

men are single yeah see if we can find. the numbers but I think it's men of a. certain AG oh you know what is that it's. just men [ __ ] chicks they're like. we're not dating that's what I said and. women are like no we're in a. relationship you know how it is I think. it's a little that [ __ ] girl and. she's like what are we yeah right like. what have you been telling people we are. what the [ __ ] are you talking about. we're nothing can I just use you. please can we just use each other. yeah like the bill Wither song. unfortunately I'm not a guy that yeah.

they want to they want to date me I'm. not a guy that like I just want [ __ ] get. used I'm not like a hot guy you wish you. were. used I don't know do you uh occasionally. back in the day that was the best thing. getting used yeah if you if you had a. gal that was just just wanted to [ __ ]. it's pretty neat oh my God especially if. you weren't into anything else cuz. sometimes like the reality is sometimes. you're attracted to someone that you're. not compatible with yeah but they're hot.

so you just you're attracted to them. sexually yeah but the the problem is. usually that one person is into the. other person more than you know there's. like psychological elements to it that. become a. problem certainly yeah and if the guy is. the one using the girl he's a piece of. [ __ ] but if the girl is the one using. the guy boss like yeah great way to go. yeah she's a BOS we did flip that adults. between 18 and 29 who say they're single.

yeah this is it so that's 51% of men in. 2019 what sorry 51% of men in 2019 and. by the time it got to. 2022 it's 63% so the pandemic kicked it. up. 12% but the women stayed the same and. just slightly more more um who say. they're single so 34% versus 32% for. women but the went up 12 [ __ ] per.

but what they're I think what they're. saying is these women during the. pandemic started dating older. guys so when the jobs went away and. everything went South they they shacked. up with some dudes with money all right. probably that's fair I mean wouldn't. that make sense like look at 18 to 29. for men 63% are single that's pretty. wild but age 65 plus 18 to 29 yeah and. you look at 65 plus 25% are single 50 to.

64 28% are single 30 to 49 25% are. single so that's what it is it's the 18. to 29 guys 208 65 plus there's more. women cuz all the men are dead. whoa not 40% are single that's where it. turns dudes are croaking yeah look as. soon as it hits 50 the women start to. move forward yeah cuz dudes start. dropping dead of heart attacks working. 90 hours a. week and just coming home just hating. their.

life it's got to feel good though what. to die when you're like oh here it. is [ __ ] this hurts it hurts way more. than I thought that's a WAP yeah call it. a day yeah I don't know man it's uh the. whole [ __ ] finding the compatible. person thing like Jesus Christ I can't. imagine it no especially now today. social media that hurts dude you can. look it up start talking to a girl you. scroll back you're like God damn she's.

got a lot of boyfriends in these you. know see the digital foot the puss print. they have so many options yeah a hot. girl who's online like if you if you uh. are going back and forth with a hot girl. if you're a young guy now you're a. 30-year-old guy now and there's another. girl and she's 30 also and you go to her. Instagram she go wow she's really pretty. 284,000 followers I'm out yeah it's over. oh Jesus Christ Christ and then you look. in the likes and the comments it's fire.

and hearts damn it Drake liked it yeah. Jesus Christ yeah it's all rappers in. there and. athletes black people [ __ ] rock stars. everybody slinging dick everybody's just. slinging dick yeah yeah it's a tough. time it is a tough time it'll be all. right you don't think they're going to. be all right no it's gonna it's going to. lead people to have sex with robots. that's. coming it's going to be tight yeah I.

think you're going to go over a dude's. house and he's going to have a robot. leave it out you're going to go. oh my buddy left his flashlight in the. shower when we lived together nice that. was tough and I was like dude clean that. up and he came out with it dripping on. the floor no he didn't after he was like. after this I was like dude after wash or. after he yeah yeah it was water dripping. but still you know that was our first. water. flashlights yeah you ever used one that.

was our oh yeah that was our sponsor. they're pretty good it's too powerful I. to throw mine out yeah you don't want. that in a dumpster you don't want that. in your life I couldn't put it in our. trash I know I'd fish it out like if you. can't get laid though it's it's the it's. as close to the physical feeling of a a. warm vagina touching your dick I think. it's better some guys would like soak. them in hot water yeah they warm them up. warm them up fire it up dude get it to. like 95° feels like hum. contact yeah especially when I had mine.

I was I was in a rough spot were you in. my life yeah I was in I was in West. Philly I was in a the the room I had in. my apartment was like it jutted out of. the back of the apartment so it was. freezing cold it was the coldest room I. had a mattress on the floor in like a it. was like a homeless person's room well I. guess that's not you know you know what. I mean right like a crackhead it's. pretty close to a homeless person and I. was [ __ ] a flashlight in there wow it. was a low yeah but look at you. know 10 million views on.

YouTube that's the only difference. successful YouTube views killing it on. the road come on. man that's the uh that's the beauty of. it you want to get one for the road I. mean for the road would be nice yeah get. one of those ones that looks like a beer. can you know cuz they they make them. like beer making them fun yeah they make. them like beer Oh you mean like the. disguise it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we. had a a bunch of them cuz that they were. our first sponsor. yeah like the that's how we started on.

it do you know that no yeah on it got. that flashlight money on it no on it was. started with Aubrey who was the CEO of. the Fleshlight and me like I don't maybe. he wasn't the CEO of the flashlight. maybe he's like marketing director or. something so it's like his family owned. the the company the flashlight company. the flashlight yeah so he reached out. and said do you guys want to have a. sponsor on your podcast podcast we. didn't have any sponsors we the podcast.

in the beginning the idea that this is a. big business is so hilarious because in. the beginning it was just so ridiculous. like how it was run we just [ __ ]. around we just would go online and [ __ ]. around and but as it started to grow he. was the first guy that said hey you guys. should have a sponsor so he had a. meeting with us and he told us about the. flashlight I'm like that's hilarious. hell yeah I was like did you give it did. you get a free sample oh we got boxes of. them those Bo so those are the ones that. look like. yeah it looks. like yeah it looks like a craft beer or.

something doy is a butthole uh well I. think you can get whatever you want and. either. can that's wild dude so that was our. first sponsor and then um Aubrey and I. started talking about doing other stuff. and he said like if you were into. supplements what are you into and I told. him that I got really into neut Tropics. because of this product called neuro one. that Bill Romanowski came up with the. football player yeah I know Bill. Romanowski yeah his uh his issues were. with memory after all those [ __ ]. concussions spitting in dude's faces an.

anim he's an animal wild those guys are. animal I had Derrick Wolf on I saw that. did you see what he's talking about like. when he walked into the arena what he. wanted to do to everyone that he saw no. he's like I he goes I want a [ __ ]. murder all of you just just smash you. and kill you he's walking through the. crowd thinking that he just really wants. to just run into the crowd and start. smashing people dude he's a monster I. loved what he say he didn't do anything. he's a nice guy but those Viking.

instincts Run Deep son there's a dude. who plays for the bills I was hanging. out with a bunch of those guys I did a. show on Buffalo and then we went out and. uh it's name Spencer Brown he's a right. tackle I was on mushrooms I went did I. tell you this no dude this was like the. greatest night of my life all right hold. on this is the best night I've ever had. so I did a show in Buffalo then the next. night it was it was Sunday on Sunday we. went to the game oh I told you this when. Gabe Davis gave me his jersey I looked. like a Down Syndrome guy yes uh but that. night we went out to uh [ __ ] dve.

Busters I took a ton of mushroom to way. more than I thought I took I was [ __ ]. up uh but then so like all the cool. black dudes on the team were like. hanging out being cool and then it was. just me and like a white o linman uh. Spencer Brown is like 69 and I I was. just so high I was like dude this is a. viking this is an actual Viking yeah. thank God we live today we're watching. him play [ __ ] video games and arcade.

games you gotta give people like that. some kind of distraction guy if that guy. got into a town back in the it' just be. over that's what it was man it's over if. you look at those guys in Iceland you. know those all those strong men dudes. that come from Iceland where do you. think that comes from freaks dude that's. those are the freaks that were. dominating the world back when people. just had axes a boat of those guys dude. until people figured out guns thank God. thank God they figured out guns there. the boat of those dudes can you imagine. how rough the world would be yo Spencer.

Brown Beast 68 311 what the [ __ ]. watching him play like video games it's. ridiculous mushrooms watching a 68 dude. play dude yeah the that that that Gene. line of those strong men of those guys. like Derek wolf those gigant like Thor. the Game of Thrones guy the mountain. from Game of Thrones like that's a gene. line of like the people conquered the. world with.

axes that's what that is it's so nuts. that that wasn't that long ago yeah. that's what's really crazy right like at. any point in time in the world in any. one moment things can break out that are. real similar to the way life was during. the Viking days it just doesn't happen. very often you know it breaks off less. and less and less over time but it's. still there in us and if it wasn't for. football in the UFC and pro boxing and.

like all those sports are like it's like. a bridge to civility it's like a a. bridge to a a peaceful civilization yeah. especially martial arts like a bridge to. a peaceful civilization because you. allow these people that have this. [ __ ] thing inside them to express. themselves in a legal way and they're. rewarded for it hugely yeah and you get. to scream you're like yeah [ __ ] kill.

him yeah I mean you think of some of the. [ __ ] that like hamzat chamaya says after. his fights I [ __ ] killed them all I. killed him all H walk I killed him all. like bro when you're interviewing him. it's a wild ride yeah we were talking. about that last night at dinner I was. like dude what's your favorite. interviews yeah I think Derrick Lewis is. always going to be my favorite just. because it was so [ __ ] hilarious dude. just took his shorts off he's the. coolest man [ __ ] the coolest the other. one though not the balls are hot the.

[ __ ] him beating the Russian up and. being like I talked to talked to Donald. Trump last night I got take care of this. [ __ ] russing for. you back in the day CH sunnon was the. best guy to interview cha sunnon will. put algorithm he would put on a show I. get CH onen Clips constantly he's a he's. a smart dude man and back in the day. when he was the first guy to real really. figure out pro wrestling style promotion. with like legit fight skills he I mean.

he almost beat Anderson Silva he almost. won that fight if he didn't get caught. in that triangle in the last round he. would have won that fight and it was a. grueling [ __ ] fight and he just kept. taking Anderson down and he beat the. [ __ ] out of Nate marquart when Nate. marquart was in his prime like he was a. real fighter he just was not Jon Jones. there's like there's like levels even to. Savages which is so crazy CH was like a. little small smaller too like really. shouldn't have been fighting the guys.

that were in that Jon Jones. range5 I mean John's cutting to get to. 205 Cha's fighting at 185 like sketchy. like at Anderson and him they fought at. 85 John is big dude he's Big's big and. long and strong as [ __ ] that's too big. like when remember when John and him. fought it was a Ming it was a horrific. mauling he fought CH Sonic yeah JN beat. him up so bad that he broke his own toe.

pushing off the ground smashing him like. there was that was that pretty sure. that's how he broke his toe he broke his. toe for sure in that fight there was. that crossover in the UFC where like. dudes started like being athlete not. saying CH wasn't an athlete but you know. what I mean there was that like switch. over phase there definitely is switch. over phase but I think with cha I really. would attribute it more to uh been. around during the greatest of the greats.

at 85 like Anderson Silva in his prime. was the one of the greatest of the. greats Anderson Silva feel like out of. he gets left out of the goat competition. because after the Chris Weidman fight. where he broke his leg he had a bunch of. fights where he didn't perform like the. Anderson of old so I think people forgot. how good he was when he was in his prime. who is in the goat conversation. obviously Jon Jones Jon Jones is number. one now khabib yeah yeah he's in there. undefeated you know barely lost a round. in his entire career you know he had one.

controversial fight with glacon Tau back. in the day but I think it was a fair. decision but he dominated everybody at. the top dominated everybody and he did. it with [ __ ] just a ruthless. intensity fantastic wrestling they. couldn't stop him was yeah up until the. Leon Edwards fight I was telling. everybody one kick I think usman's the. greatest welterweight of all time if you. look at like what he's done and who he. did it to you know like like the way he.

knocked out Jorge mazal he started out. as a wrestler he started out as a. wrestler and now all he's flatlining. people on the feet and you're flatlining. a skilled striker in mazal like mazal is. a he's a slick guy on the feet yeah that. was a tough one too he's all sweaty that. [ __ ] the Mist off that punch when he. hit him yeah yeah I me when you think. about the way mazal knocked out Ben. asrin mazal knocked out Darren till like. mazal is a scary guy I wish that didn't.

happen with with. Asen I wish Ben got a chance to wrestle. that was a rough one that was a rough. one but that's how smart he is like he. knew Ben his instincts were going to be. there he just [ __ ] you ever see the. video of him training that very move yes. that's a bummer that's a bummer when you. look online be like [ __ ] he knew he was. GNA do that bro his knockout of Darren. till was brutal [ __ ] brutal he's. knocked out a lot of really good guys.

man it's um when you so when Usman. destroyed him I'm like. wow he might have felt the the highest. level of competition because he beats. Tyron Woodley who was one of the best. welterweights ever he destroys Tyron. right like runs right through him he's. you know dominant fashion wins a five. round decision there's no question at. all he's the new champion then he beats. Kobe Covington who is about as good as.

it gets in that division other than. Usman Kobe's a [ __ ] animal. unbelievable cardio tough as [ __ ] yeah. and even though Camaro broke his jaw. like he was he was still there in the. last round he was upset when they. stopped it yeah did they did he break. his jaw I think he did I want to be sure. of that though well he definitely [ __ ]. his he he he [ __ ] his mouth up he. dropped him and he hit with some really.

good shots but Kobe was saying even at. the end like hey I could have made it. through that which is. like that's how tough that dude is he's. undeniably tough so kamaro beats him and. he beats him twice and he hurt him. pretty [ __ ] bad in the second fight. and Colby got through so you gota like. how good Colby is and if kamaro's. beating him like that and then Camaro. was beating Leon Edwards for the most. part oh yeah there it is he dropped.

him uh you got to remember he stopped. Gilbert. Burns you know Gilbert Burns is a. [ __ ] animal you saw the Gilbert MDS. hamzo chamaya fight you know so Camaro. stopped him I feel like you look at the. caliber of the P the opponents that he's. faced as a champion and how he's beaten. them I kind of put him up into the Leon. Edwards fight I kind of put him up there. with everybody God that Leon kick he. might have been the best welterweight. ever but that Leon kick man that changed. the world and then this weekend they're.

fighting again which is so crazy dude. yeah that fight so intense where are. they fighting in England oh yeah. Leon Town son yeah he can sleep at his. own bed and defend the world title in. England I well I don't want to make any. predictions I'm 0 for one what do you. think I said c gone J Jones I was like I. think serial's going to win this thing. dude that is a second was like good that. wasn't a good betat here it is man one.

of the. craziest that is not look how beautiful. that kick is too Ed but that is not the. clo from he is cut I mean look at. that bro just the sound of that Shin to. Chin sound play that sound again the. sound of shin to Chin. but that is not the cloth from which he.

is cut I mean that is a. dejected no. way there it. is oh my. God bro I don't think he knew that was. going bro I don't think Leon knew that. was com he set it up what you talking. about no I mean the whole time I saw the. but I think when he landed it he was. like oh yeah oh [ __ ] well it just it was. perfect and it was because he ducked to. his right you see the way saw him set it. up a cou left yeah I watched that.

[ __ ] there's a video of his trainer. you see that he's like come on come on. Leon yeah it's like a Rocky movie pull. it out of the fire Leon yeah it's. literally like a Rocky movie you ever. seen it where they put the rocky mic. behind. it yeah he's screaming at him and then. Leon goes up there and lands that. kick yeah I think he's in. trouble the okay come on we're going to. pull back one nightes one more come on. come on come on as don't stand.

still come on don't making. bully don't let him bully letl son let. him bully you son oh it's so nice dude. right here this is where he's yeah one. more. [Applause]. J listen stop feeling sorry for your but. come on then what's wrong with you you. now you got to p the Fire come on Le man. you got it man come on you got me.

sharpo come. on do again that's. great this weekend's going to be. wild Camaro Usman seems very intense. yeah no [ __ ] I'm watching the uh all the. uh UFC shows that they. do you know they do all the the B and. stuff like [ __ ] man he's he's got. intense he's going to want this yeah.

he's intense this is going to be a wild. one I think this is going to be a wild. one I think Camaro is going to be very. aggressive I think uh in his eyes he won. 24 minutes of that fight he did not. really no really no he got taken down. the first round and he got mounted and. uh he got his back taken Leon was the. first guy to ever take down yeah yeah. yeah Leon took him down yeah yeah Leon. took him down in the first round cuz was. cheering for Leon and I remember being. even while like with the bias of.

cheering for him I was like [ __ ] he's. there's no chance he wins this well when. they first fought Leon was not really. much into grappling he was like an. expert Striker and kamaro was such a. good wrestler he just kept taking him. down beat him by decision but in this. fight show it definitely showed a a big. leap in in Leon's grappling ability so. Leon got him with a trip here look at. this and got on top of him full Mount. round round one yeah round one and if. you watch that kamaro has a bad knee he.

has bad knees period but if you watch. that the way he goes down it looked. watch the way he goes out it's very bad. watch his right knee oh yeah not good at. all not good like that the pressure. that's on that thing as he's going down. like from there like watch it from there. look at that right there I mean that is. a lot of pressure on that knee the way. its foot is planted a lot of pressure do. you see that Jon from that chill suned.

fight he's always has to tape his toes. cuz his his toe broke and flipped around. it was his toe the the bottom of his toe. was facing upward and we didn't realize. it until I was talking to him we were in. the the octagon and I'm interviewing him. after he beat CH sunnon and he'd looked. down he's like oh my God my toe and then. we looked and we were like okay and so. Jon's toe compl dude. so that was just from him that's the.

strength of him pushing off while he. smashing just. smashing it was a brutal fight man [ __ ]. it was a brutal fight I mean JN beat the. ever loving [ __ ] out of CHA sunon in. this fight it was absolutely. brutal I know that nasty wor than the. snake so now to this day like he has to. tape his toes up there was actually a. controversy at the last fight foot stomp. him well I think when you rip it and.

flip it over like that I think it I. don't know what they would have to do to. get it to be stable again I think it's. probably a little yeah it's a little. weak is it's such a catastrophic injury. if your toe flip all the way around like. that I was going to ask you who he's. going to kill next but it's Stipe yeah. Stipe and him are gonna fight that's. gonna be a different fight but I. remember STP has way better wrestling. than serial gone Steve B's got a [ __ ]. ton of experience I remember thinking.

Steve B was gonna die when he fought. enanu the first. time when he beat enanu yeah that was. pretty wild I mean that showed how. durable he is survived that yeah that. showed how durable he is but there's. other fights that show like like you. can't sleep on stipe's standup skills. like Stipe is a very good boxer very. good Striker remember when he fought DC. and he kept ripping him with that left. hook to the body yeah like he hit him. with a couple of those and then DC was. [ __ ] that was one of those where I was. watching it's like when you're playing a. video game and you don't know how to.

block the body I was like he doesn't. know he just keep throwing it he can't. stopped it well he just did it very. skillfully man I'm telling you steep. like the he he would show you the jab. and then dig under and he did it. multiple times like he just keeps that's. also that's the side of the liver when. you get hit on the liver dude it is a. horrible feeling like your whole body. just it's like you get electrically. shocked it's like. [Music]. yeah look at that over and over.

again I just kept digging to his body oh. so the thing is it's like Stipe is not. seral gone Stipe is the most successful. UFC heavyweight champion ever he. defended the title more than anybody. yeah yeah and I know that Francis. knocked him out in his last fight so. people just will dismiss they'll say oh. it's maybe he's washed up or maybe these. guys are better or maybe but that.

[ __ ] guy's been counted out from the. beginning I mean he fought Fabricio. verdom in Brazil and flatlined him that. was when Fabo was the [ __ ] man and. but Fabo like chased after Stipe and. stie just cracked him with a right hand. and dropped him it's like anaz you ever. seen that fight no watch this Stipe. miotic knocking out uh Fabricio veroom. so fabrio this is like in. Brazil I'm pretty sure it was in Brazil. but it was when Fabricio was the. heavyweight champion so Fabricio had.

submitted Cain Velasquez became the UFC. heavyweight champion I gotta show you. some football highlights okay I'll get. you some okay all right I'll get so. watch this watch this this fight Fabo. ver Doom just got real aggressive and. started coming after. him. boom watch this what is he doing bro how. good is that you. because he thought he could get to him. he thought he could get to him and he.

also he got stung there he he's just. being very aggressive and but do you. know how beautiful that is you know how. skillful that is like just watch that. one more time just the slide back and. then the punch that's so hard to do man. watch this boom while he's moving away. in Full Throttle he uncorks a perfect. right hand mean that [ __ ] is an. athlete look at that so you can't so. funny he can't sleep on that dude yeah. but he looks like a guy who's drunk at.

the beach he's probably drunk at be. sometimes he's got the shorts he's got. that back tattoo guy's a [ __ ] animal. underrated hugely underrated and also uh. one of the things I'm interested in is. uh he it seems like he put on some. weight he put on some Mass which I think. will probably be a good thing with these. bigger heavyweights you know I think he. tried to have more endurance and come in. lighter for Francis and try to Tire. Francis out but in the second Francis. fight Francis fought like this very. patient style which is so D he GED on.

the first one though yeah well the first. one he just tried to knock him out yeah. and the second one he took his time. which was terrifying you know because. all those shots that land everyone that. lands like your power bar is just. like and G was another one dude can you. imagine that. guy getting Wild on you Jesus running. through a down I'm so bummed that he. left the UFC I mean I want that I want. that dude the money I want him to make. all the money go make all that money in. boxing I'm I'm happy for him but I.

really wish that Jones and him fought. cuz God damn that would be. crazy that' be fun you can't zigg when. you should have zag with Francis you. can't you can't make any mistakes man. that guy touches your chin you're in a. world of [ __ ] tomorrow you're in a world. of [ __ ] he's a totally different thing. his his power makes it a totally. different thing that you're doing. because you with some guys you can make.

little mistakes you get hit you get [ __ ]. you move around you get rocked a little. with him it's just sleep it's just [ __ ]. it's like oh no like so that's in a lot. of people's eyes your wife is holding. your head like oh no like when a guy. will fight someone that doesn't have. like dangerous striking there's like a. noticeable like relaxed sort of in the. intera it's like you know you don't have. to be too scared so you can get closer.

to them you could like avoid some shots. but when someone has nuclear power like. Francis there's not a thing you can do. that doesn't put you in range of getting. flatlined and so you're always thinking. about. it at that. [ __ ]. dude what's your problem that [ __ ]. power is so Preposterous that [ __ ]. over punch o the over punch was insane. but I mean he knocked out Kan Velasquez. in the first round I mean I I just I.

[ __ ] think he can knock out anybody. man I think it's just a matter of. whether or not he hits your chin I just. think that power is just too. extraordinary oh my God and he's become. so skillful that was the thing that was. really remarkable about the Stipe fight. like he fought very skillful it wasn't. just that he's explosive and Powerful he. was patient and and just you know being. very tactical was attacking with leg. kicks and that [ __ ] power Jesus look.

if we're talking UFC I'm excited for uh. ad aagna oh yeah the REM it's going be. fun dude yes very very interesting very. very interesting here's the here's the. interesting thing like what if Izzy's. leg wasn't [ __ ] up what if uh Izzy was. winning what if Izzy prep he was winning. it was waiting on the scorecards but. what if Izzy uh prepared more to avoid. that CF kick like what if uh it became a.

more crucial part of his training which. is what we're going to probably see. because the calf kick was a giant issue. he was saying that the foot got really. [ __ ] up and he couldn't move right and. you could see it when I rewatched it I. was like yeah you could see it and Pera. lands a bunch of like ruthless calf. kicks in the first round [ __ ] dude. he's a [ __ ] dude he's the. scariest [ __ ] division you know. the meanest thing UFC's done what is. Izzy was on on the cover of the video. game yeah they changed it for Arizon wow.

yeah that's rude it's [ __ ] up dude. that's rude it's [ __ ] iszy still the. man yeah obviously listen Izzy almost. had him out in the first round the first. round the first round with seconds to go. he lands that right hand B Bank like. right on the chin rocks him and then. there was a left hook that landed as. well that was like on the Bell like at. the Bell whack. but Izzy's so important to the black.

anime culture black dorks finally have a. [ __ ] Champion dude dud who loves. anime a guy who loves anime [ __ ] people. up and what courage I love that he just. decided to get right back in there it's. just not much time that guy's cool he. might be the coolest guy he's very cool. very cool who's the coolest guy he might. be the co might be him yeah might be. coolest UFC yeah might be him who's. cooler who could be cooler ah Conor cuz.

yeah Conor's pretty [ __ ] cool Conor's. up there he's very cool go be. cing listen that [ __ ] guy's smart. what he did I've talked to him he's a. very nice guy and he's real good friends. with my friend cam Reigns he's a very. smart guy and what was going on was that. he was going to get cut from his [ __ ]. contract and they were saying dude. you're boring you just wrestling with. people now I'm the magga guy so he goes. over to Brazil and just starts talking. mad [ __ ] beats up Damen Maya and talks.

mad [ __ ] just talked mad [ __ ] too bad. you got to do that well you don't have. to do it cuz you know there's guys who. don't do it you don't have to do it I. mean paa doesn't do it you don't have to. do yeah but you can be a freak you can. be a scary freak and not. talk that that's one. method yeah it's like everybody has. their own way of approaching it you. know and some guys talking last.

nighte I forget who it was who the [ __ ]. is that like I'm the real fight I'm the. 155 who the [ __ ] is that guy that's. [ __ ] amazing oh no it was amazing I. mean he's so good on the mic Conor's so. good on the mic but cha sunnon was the. original that's what I'm what I was. saying about that before yeah he was the. he was the first guy that brought like a. pro wrestling. heal character to MMA with legit.

fighting skills yeah it's just he wasn't. really a two5 his [ __ ] talk is he an. elite 85 though he's an elite 85 and he. was [ __ ] great Anderson Silva you. absolutely. suck that was back that was early too. was amazing it was amazing dude's. drinking. Micky yeah it was him it's hilarious uh. I got I got a good one good highlight uh.

Shawn Taylor vers punter Pro Bowl oh my. God a fun one you want to see what. happens when a normal human tries to run. the ball in the NFL oh no it's pretty. great it's also the Pro Bowl where. you're not supposed to kill. people so you're not supposed to kill. people in. the look look at this normal human. trying to. run oh my God bro that's like a car. accident I'm celebrating they're like.

yeah [ __ ] you bro he used himself as a. human. missile look at that he's like a human. missile dude Sean Taylor. was you know this is a that's one of. things that Jon Jones says about his. brother Chandler is like he goes I. [ __ ] around with he goes I was. grabbing his wrists like uh while uh he. was sitting down and he said and. Chandler like basically like lifted him. up. with his wrists and he goes I've never. felt strength like that in my life he's.

like we're just lucky that guy's not. fighting those football guys are yeah. terrifying terrifying those dudes that. can hit uh even Mike allot highlights we. were just watching you know Mike allot. no dude he a white man running the. football dude yeah it's our last great. well obviously obviously Christian. mcaffrey dudee Christian mcaffry runs. the ball no it was just uh Mike allot. was just a jacked he just ran straight. my problem is I know too much about. about MMA so I don't have any room for. anything else you would it's very I'm.

sure I'd love football football is so. [ __ ] cool I'm sure I'd love football. obviously yeah I'm but my brain is like. she's pretty awesome dude yeah for me. that's enough I hear you I can't only. watch so much sports but for me like. that's this is what I always say if two. guys are playing basketball and there. becomes a dispute and one guy beats the. other guy in basketball the other guy. can say yeah but I can still beat your. ass but if somebody beats your ass you. can't say yeah but I could beat you in. basketball because nobody cares that's.

the difference what what what if you. cared about basketball well listen. basketball's an awesome two standups one. guy's an open micer that does Jiu-Jitsu. one guy's Louis CK he whoops his ass and. Lou can be like yeah at least I can do. yeah that's different though cuz now. you're comparing no now like his art his. art is undeniable like no one cares if. Lou can do jiu-jitsu. like [ __ ] amazing. standup but I'm saying in terms of like.

physical competition we're only talking. my physical competition it's this just. like a thing that what all sports are. it's like this expression of male. dominance or female dominance it's like. just expression of. becoming like whatever it is whether. it's basketball or soccer it's like. being the ultimate. Dominator oh yeah dude it's so funny how. they if they get touched they're all. they all fly they just flop to the.

ground yeah how's it Jamie how are we. looking on a Mike all highlight I had. that but I was what's going on here this. guy is the one that no one in the NBA. [ __ ] with is St Adams stams he just. picked this guy up and carry him away. for [ __ ] with his teammate he's from. New Zealand no one [ __ ] with this guy. why cuz he's cuz he's a monster oh Jesus. he's like. 611 he looks like [ __ ] Aquaman dude. no one [ __ ] with I think Hees carried. that guy he does some training so show. me how he did that again it'll come up. here right well he got double.

underhooks look at that he just hoists. him yeah there's another NBA guy that. does Jiu-Jitsu that I think no no one. [ __ ] he held his shoulder like bro. look at this he just he hoisted him up. in the air and just started walking with. him he's also a giant Dude too it's not. like he a small guy yeah I know look at. that that's crazy nope get away this. fight's. over so like no fights happen when he's. there for sure cuz. he's the Intimidator I'm such a big job. morand fan now that's a good way to do.

it too you like you didn't hurt him you. just said let's go for a. walk such a bummer that's a bummer dude. getting carried by another man away away. such a bummer such a. bummer I had a uh I was doing uh. pictures with fans once after a show. this [ __ ] big dude with like a weird. mustache he wanted to take a picture and. he goes could I carry you in the picture. I go what what no I go like a baby is. that what you're saying like carry me.

you're being mean is that what you're. saying you're trying to be disrespectful. no no no he wasn't he just really wanted. to carry me in the picture all right. there's something off about this dude oh. he was he wasn't trying to be a [ __ ]. no I think he was just like real weird. just a [ __ ] weird real and big just. real weird and big and he wanted to. carry me like it didn't seem like I got. stab seem like he was being rude no it. didn't seem like he was being rude back. the fishing hole it's [ __ ]. I'm 13 again this [ __ ] fire teacher.

is trying to suck my dick probably would. have been probably terrifying I it would. have been very scary but I'll tell you. what that guy would have sucked the soul. out of you dude that guy's been jogging. thinking about it for years dude that. guy would have you would have launched. into that [ __ ] dude's. mouth you'd never be the same. dude dude a [ __ ] where you have. everything to lose while you're giving. it it's a [ __ ] strong blow.

job imagine the the crazy I'm not. advocating for uh pedophilia imagine the. crazy feeling like a 25. yearold hot teacher has [ __ ] one of. her 16-year-old students it's about as. hot as it gets yeah some 16-year-old. quarterback he's asking her about. English work and she goes well if you. come to my house I can help you with. some of your English work he goes over. her house and she has a glass of wine.

already stop dude stop and next thing. you know they're sitting on the couch. and she's talking to them you know I'm. concerned cuz some girls are bad and you. know sometimes a man just needs sexual. release stop dude and then this is a. genre I wh off to this the kid's like I. mean you sure I mean is this okay is. this like yes it's okay stop. yes it's.

okay no one's going nobody feels bad. about those porns if you show me a porn. where there's like a 21-year-old guy. banging a 45-year-old chick who lifts. weights awesome I in nobody's getting. hurt there oh you like Jack ladies no. say olded ladies who work out I like I'm. a little jacked little jack's fun a. little bit nothing crazy I was yeah one. of the girls I was I had sex with a girl. that was getting strong and it [ __ ] me. up dude no I didn't I was from behind. she had like traps and I was like what.

the. [ __ ] took me out of it that's. hilarious traps is rough yeah that's a. that's a see traps while you're [ __ ]. vanderlay Silva look yeah that's a. bummer oh no thick neck yeah traps and. I'm nothing I'm not working out at all. playing Xbox yeah maybe that's what they. want you know some girls like that like. nice slob dude a potato they just want. be the the the Pitbull yeah I like. that I.

like with they traps I like that traps. big forearms yeah big old veiny. forearms I was in uh went to a strip. club in London Ontario last week there. was a lady she was going wild dude she. was she was a pit she was like they just. bring people on stage and just everybody. in Canada was putting money in their. mouth at this strip every single of them. would be the first the first stripper. that was with me was like opened her.

mouth and I was like what I was like I. don't want to put money you don't want. money in your mouth that's crazy giving. a stripper Health advice I'm like you. don't want I don't want to do that put. it in your thing uh but dudes would. dudes would put money in their mouth and. lay on stage on their back just and the. stripper would come and take it with her. butt wow pretty fun but anyway the point. of the story man your mouth seems like. very unsanitary definitely for sure. right yeah you'd get like yeah they're.

going to get like a [ __ ] up disease. and isn't like doesn't most money. there's like a c at least a a really. good percentage of money that has. cocaine on it yeah right hundreds I. believe has like the highest percentage. but yes so if you're one of those. people oh my God that's a. bomber yeah that's a bomber you got. godamn all line I got is a. one oh my God uh but no this lady this.

lady was dancing she was she was [ __ ]. dudes up dudes would go on stage my. buddy went on stage and she tried to. like take his belt and whip him and he. was like no he like stop whip it uh but. then she was doing that she was. dominating this guy and I was like this. is kind of something's going on and then. she lifted her arm and she had armpit. hair and I was like what the [ __ ] it. just ruined it dude immediately I was in. it I was all in that's hilarious armpit. hair got me that's hilarious armpit hair.

doesn't bother me at all no doesn't. bother lady so wait you like Jack ladies. with armpit hair yeah a little bit of. arm you're get close dude you're get. you're so. close that's as close as it gets oh my. God yeah I like a good buzz. cut I like them bald I like a bald lady. she could wear a wh yeah she you be a. different hairstyle every night. [Laughter].

khis oh my God damn that Fishman might. have got you dude might have set you off. imagine I could have got you I never had. what if I did stab him what if he killed. me because I stabbed him you know. there's there's so many things that. could have happened there it just I. don't know what that guy got fired for. but he was a teacher I bet he got fired. for [ __ ] kids yeah you can't do [ __ ]. like that. yeah you ever have a PRI no you weren't. Catholic were you. Catholic the priests I never had a.

priest really go for it but I remember. one time I was in confession and it was. right when we were all starting to whack. off so the priest he like. asked in the middle of confession and he. was like do you spill seed he said do. you spill seed and I thought it was like. a Biblical reference like some type of. proverb where like you know so I was. like yes oh Jesus Christ I thought it. was like a saying for sinning right like. I don't know some story where the guy. dropped.

seeds and then I started to slowly. realize that he was asking me about. coming oh my God he wasn't I don't know. that is that's a weird job being a. priest asking [ __ ] eighth graders if. they're whacking off it's not. appropriate and it's. also the problem with job you have to be. celibate yeah any job we have to be. celibate like who's going to sign up for. that here's the thing it's not like they. get better seats in heaven like why are. you doing that like you you're doing. that because you're you're called to.

that d a good priest that is cool I do. think that is cool a good priest is cool. but the idea that they should be. celibate you're going to eliminate a lot. of people that don't want that job the. dudes that are like [ __ ] it I'll just be. a pre like if you're like thinking about. what job you want to have and you're. like I'll just [ __ ] be a priest well. some people do do that because they they. raised Catholic and they're like look if. I do it it's an I'm 100% guaranteed in. you know all you have to do is like you. got to go to school you don't have to go. to school you're in there you're a.

priest now you got to go to Seminary for. [ __ ] seven years and people treat you. well if you're a priest it's a respected. part of the community it's funny how. much they're kind of uh oh dude my. friend Matt you met mccusker we were. laughing so hard about uh like priest. you got a [ __ ] pretty easy job you're. set up you live next to the church you. go do this but then every once in a. while you got to get hit with a dude a. confession it's just like I sucked my. friend's dick at golf like what like.

dude's hitting you with confessions and. then you look out and see them in chair. like while you're performing Mass you. look out there's a guy like you see. you're like oh that's a guy who blows. his friends you know you know the whole. congregation Secrets it's it that was a. thing that they invented purely so that. they could like spy people they well. they not blackmail they wanted to know. who was doing. what and if you could give people an out.

that allows you to go to heaven but you. have to tell you got tell yeah but then. I'll tell you you're going to do a bunch. of Hail Marys and it's going to be good. you're still going to go to heaven like. a completely human created. loophole just to acquire data just. that's what it is yeah it was preg. Google yeah they were just acquiring. data on the people it's [ __ ] up I just. had a revelation I think that's I tell. on myself do you yeah I was raised. Catholic my whole. life I constantly tell when I was a kid.

I would telling myself yeah it's. probably still telling myself it's built. into the system I I was I felt like when. I was a young kid I remember uh I went. to Catholic school for one year and I. had this uh this this nun that was. teaching the class I didn't have a. priest we had a nun and her name was. Sister Mary Josephine and she was so it. was always two yeah we had sister. Michael an had wild Nam she was so mean. dude she was so mean she would tell you.

that she would she's going to make you. uh sit on a nail in the closet and you. better bring your pajamas cuz you're. staying here tonight kids would cry. would cry we be so scared cuz I went. from being with my mom who's like this. sweet lady this is the lady that I'm. used to my mom's nice to me she loves. nasty lady all a sudden this crazy [ __ ]. that doesn't even get to [ __ ] you're. you're dressed in this weird costume and. she was so mean.

and what it did to me at an early age. was like oh okay that's [ __ ] cuz. like you know you have to see things and. you like that are so stunningly obvious. this this had nothing to do with God. this is like a mean person who's just. torturing kids and since I hadn't been. around that it was very unusual for me. and I was like oh this is all. horseshit and then I think there was a. period after that where I was [ __ ]. kind of really weirded out because then.

I was thinking well if this is [ __ ]. does this mean that like nobody knows. nobody knows yeah do you remember that. the first time you realized that nobody. knows what happens when you die I there. wasn't really I can tell you exactly. when it was it was sixth grade really. maybe fifth we were exactly and then I. get it wrong uh we were at my my. friend's we had like built a fort at my. friend's house we were all back there. and we were like I don't know if God's. real and everyone at the same time was.

like yeah dude I know we're not allowed. to talk about it wow that's the thing. right. yeah especially if you have a religious. family you're not allowed to talk about. it people get very upset if you even. just want to breach a subject H I think. I mean I was I was if I told my dad I. mean here in a fifth grader say I don't. know if God's real that [ __ ] you up my. dad's just drinking watching sport like. kids do worry about that man you know. when I was younger I used to really.

think that religion is just a Panacea. for the masses and it's not necessary. and it's really outdated and you know. you should know better than to believe. that but as I've gotten older I realized. that it acts as like a scaffolding for. Behavior yeah of course and it also. gives people a sense of of being of like. being a part of something that means. something to them that to say that. that's not valuable it's crazy that's. what's cool if you talk to like a good. priest yeah like if you talk to a good.

one they'll tell you that they'll go. yeah no one. knows but it's good and a good. philosopher will say the same thing. that's why I always question people that. say that they they know what going to. happen when they die it'll be just. blankness people love to say that it's a. very common thing. right yeah people love to say that when. it's over you just die and that you go. blank but but we don't know that we. don't know that this whole thing is. weird enough that I think we should. entertain every possibility you got to.

feel real weird oh yeah your life's. [ __ ]. crazy it's hilarious yeah it's very. weird yeah yeah we me and uh my buddy o. Conor who you met last night we were. talking about on the way it was. like guys like it's the perfect setup. it's pretty sweet UFC podcast standup. yeah just stuff I like yeah yeah that's. cool yeah that's a good club you can do. that too bro I I'm trying yeah that club. you you murdered last night man a thank.

you that was fun that was fun it was. really fun I get uncomfortable doing. well like that it was too well I get a. standing evation when I walked out I was. like all right I'm you see me I looked. up at you well that [ __ ] crowd is. Magic it's like magic right away right. from the jump. yeah that was uh had a lot of people on. the show too it was a long ass show last. night long show and then Dave goes up. and the the little room for the first. time last night I was sweating yeah. place is pretty sick yeah that was cool.

pretty sick bringing up Dave was cool I. wish he would have uh been ready instead. I when Dave Chappelle he just wasn't. there okay like he's coming he's coming. it was um it was perfect because it. wasn't smooth so like it set up the. conversational style of stand up that he. was doing and [ __ ] around and he also. didn't know where the stage was so he's. like how do I get up here and he went to. the middle and they like no you got to. go that. way his what was funny when he when he. does that where he's doing the.

conversational thing it's almost like I. think he knows what the joke's going to. be cuz he'll he'll keep talking and. you're like oh man all he's doing is. making a point right now and then right. at the very end he hits a [ __ ] hits a. Zinger yeah yeah well he practices like. that's one of what he wanted to do last. night it's like that was like a practice. set which is really interesting it's. like he he gives him an opportunity to. [ __ ] around. and in that [ __ ] around he'll come up. with an idea and then he'll pursue that. idea and then they'll watch the.

film wild man it's wild to see so. exciting yeah that was one of the cooler. moments I've ever had yeah you. introducing me and then going on yeah. and you were the first person who ever. went on stage in that small room that. was thank you for that my pleasure that. was that whole [ __ ] night was that. was awesome yeah it was pretty sick yeah. that's one of I woke up today a little. hungover it was one of those hangovers. where I was like good yeah earned that.

one that was a good hangover it was good. was the problem is like we're doing so. many shows there like I can't be hung. over I can't I can't I can't go hard. every night no everybody is drinking. that bar is just [ __ ] ridiculous. David Lucas was bombed last night we. talked to David dude I've never seen. David that [ __ ] up he's having fun. Danny Brown was in there screaming Danny. Brown was very very uh I want to get a. picture yeah I wanted I wanted a nice. candid of me Paulie Shore and Danny.

Brown yeah that's right po came by yeah. that was a [ __ ] fun night man it was. doing it again tonight we can't wait. we it's I don't know man it's I'm GNA be. chasing that Dragon though no no no. don't even worry about it just have fun. don't think about. it the that club the fact that the. building is so old it's got like already. it's like baked in there's like a life. in that building that's baked in and we. just like put nice clothes on it and.

dressed it. up yeah I'm not sucking your dick that. was perfect it's a perfect that club's. [ __ ] perfect man it's very exciting. standing back I was nervous I was. looking at those [ __ ] steps that's. cool feel I'm standing there I'm like. [ __ ] [ __ ] f for you it's good for you. yeah it's also good that we're doing. these shows where there's so many. killers on it's like that's that's what. you know they're up there you know. they're up there you know they're. watching you're like oh this has to be. good dude MH yeah well that's what we. were missing you know like um that's.

what we had at the store the store was. always just killer after killer after. killer and it's just really good for. you yeah you know and when you uh take. that. away it's like you kind of. like as a good comedy gym that's what. you really want to reproduce you want to. recreate the environment of a bunch of. people that are sort of feeding off of. each other where they're like like this. guy's killing it's like God I got to. pick my game up and everybody does it.

together yeah it's very important and. people don't want to for some reason. some Comics don't want to think about. that they don't want to address that. they they like to think that they're. like completely. self-made but we are so heavily. influenced by our friends we're so. heavily influenced by just the hang you. know just just the the way we're always. hanging out and talking [ __ ] and having. a good time together but then also. heavily influenced by our sets I yeah I. don't want to sound corny but yeah. that's the thing you want is you want. your other Comics respect yeah is the.

most important thing yeah and you want. to earn it yeah you want it to be real. so that means you did your work you got. to a certain level you're you know. you're a real. professional yeah that was [ __ ] that. was a fun night too then we went to. Jamie Jamie was on the prow dude he. wanted to have a good time he was with. me trying to find we went to uh we went. to who was over there like red man.

Cipher sounds was DJing J jiss did you. guys go to the V the Vulcan no we went. to what's it called native host native. hosel oh I've been there before yeah it. was me Tony Jamie ok ok Conor and doosa. just five white dudes showed up just. like can we get a drink they're like no. wow all right they closed the bar and I. was like I'm with Dave they're like no. you're not. all. right I was like I gotta find Dave I. just walking around staring at Dave not.

how many guys say I'm with Dave that. aren't yeah g that's got to be so. annoying whole time how about we were. trying to get beers and those guys were. like Jamie Shane we like can we get two. Miller lights they were like no like all. right come on man we'll give you money. there's there's beer right. there no yeah and then we were and then. and uh J Jamie I've never seen you on. the prow like that dude what's up talk. to the mic dude have fun he was trying.

to have fun dude I know Jamie's usually. not Wednesday night he's ready to get. Rowdy thank God we didn't go back to the. club and drink Tony was like let's just. leave and go back to the club I was like. dude if we drink it's 2 it's 2 o' right. now yeah if we go back to the club we're. there till 4: yeah go to bed yeah. bedtime I'm I'm a decent I'm getting. good at bedtime the problem if you don't. do bedtime is you wake up too late and. then you miss a big part of the day yeah. it's not good I do that yeah but you.

like if you have [ __ ] you got to do you. got these late nights like Dave wants to. stay up till like 3 3:30 in the morning. he just wants to keep going he goes he. just keeps going and he's he's the DJ he. was the DJ in the bar yeah he'll do that. he'll [ __ ] hit the DJ barazi has a. funny bit about it of being a comic and. like you wake up at like 11: so wake up. in the day is you got 40 Miss phone. calls every day he wakes up the day is. already done yeah yeah he's like oh [ __ ].

but you have to get good sleep too so if. you do go to bed at 3:00 in the morning. you really should sleep till 11: yeah. like you really should it's not yeah but. then you got to get. going it's tough it's tough It's hard. the the thing that gets you for real is. drinking that's what gets you you're. drinking clubs a lot like you're you're. wearing your I've been going to the. [ __ ] I've been doing the seller. totally sober yeah that's tough man.

don't enjoy it five spots sober oh no. you just got to sit there for four hours. oh no what do you do get bored yeah you. got to make you got to make small talk. with another comedian sober yeah you got. to get into marijuana. son it's so bad I don't have the brain. for it what about micro doing mushrooms. I I can [ __ ] Crush mushrooms that's. I'm talking about. maybe a little bit just a little bit. about just coke maybe maybe I'm been. [ __ ] figh for all this maybe I'm.

fighting it for all this time and I'm. going to become a Coke Advocate. I'm Coke is amazing now that's another. problem that's that Spencer Brown level. that's Francis and ganu level problem if. you were a Coke dude you want to talk. about a. pitol running through a town holy. [ __ ] let's. go yeah when we were leaving we leaving. a restaurant we were leaving a. restaurant last night and Joe's just. hanging out of an SUV going let's go.

there no let's [ __ ] go just some lady. walking just like it's funny now she has. a story she's like yeah I was in Austin. I saw Joe Rogan screaming that was. because I was talking to radio and radio. was going to go meet Dave and we were. talking we were getting hyped up for the. show I Go Radio let's. [ __ ] like yeah how about radio oh. he's awesome D I love you what's that oh. that was hilarious I love you he was. exping when he was explaining I was like.

oh [ __ ] that's you dude that was. hilarious we were eating dinner and. there's a thing that radio did when he. was interviewing Logan Paul where Logan. Paul was he was talking about talking to. his brother saying to his brother I love. you and radio thought he was telling him. he loved him and he's like I love you. too but the reason why radio said that. is because Logan says I love you to him. all the time he like a very friendly. gregarious guy so it was natural for him. to say I love you too and he's like oh. no what have I done and so and so Shane.

realizes in the middle of the. conversation while we're eating dinner. that that's who he is when you go oh. [ __ ] that's you Dude I kept saying it to. him the rest of the night I'd see him I. go I love you dude he was like he was. like all right man all right I was like. there's nothing to be ashamed of dude. that's hilarious I love you too I love. you too. was hilarious oh it's a bad one that's. play it's so funny dude that is that is.

the actual wor worst version of you know. that doesn't Brian have a bit Brian. Regan have a bit about that yeah how. does it like enjoy your meal or enjoy. your flight youo like yeah you to yeah. that's like said Jake I love you I'm not. going to give you a big speech I know. you got this but either come back. Victorious or come back on your Shield I. love you bro I love you too man how do. you feel. but again the first time I saw it I. didn't even I didn't even think about it. yeah that's not good I love you.

too on theer that's what radio said I. have said in interviews I I love you too. to Fighters many times yeah many times. like sugar Shan Ali there's like a Love. Fest between me and sugar Shan there's. like five of them were uh I tell them I. love them. yeah but it's like yeah someone says. they love me I love them too I do I genu. genuinely do but like that was just a. [ __ ] up he just [ __ ] up just you know.

it happens I was like dude it happens. like I saw it I watched it and what out. loud I was like ah I was a loaded like. it's no big deal you're a great. interviewer it's just such a funny angle. too just he's a super super. knowledgeable dude about boxing if you. want to talk to boxing talk to radio he. he knows like all the contenders and all. the various divisions he's got. essentially the a boxing memory and a. knowledge like I have an MMA knowledge. he knows a lot of [ __ ] about.

boxing man I like Tyson Fury Tyson Fury. was good he is so [ __ ] good when he. sings oh my God he's the best after. every fight just I just hope that the. usyk fight happens Tyson Fury is in in. my opinion he's like one of the hardest. puzzles to solve in the history of the. heavyweight division 6 foot whatever the. [ __ ] he is what is he 69 69 69. incredible skill like so slick so C and. like that Herky jerky style hard to read.

pops you knocked out Wilder twice I mean. come on man Wilder nukes everybody yeah. if it wasn't for Tyson Fury like who. knows yeah Wilder might have beaten all. the rest of them he would have he might. nuke them all yeah Tyson Fury just got. his number man that's a bummer that. sucks dude just another guy doing the. same thing as you that's got number got. your number especially because he all. first fight Wilder almost got him had.

him I mean it looked like he was out he. had him lying flat on his back full. Undertaker dude just got up dude those. gypsies are just not the same yeah those. are not regular white people those are. [ __ ] up freaks. dude that guy's a freak he looks like. [ __ ] too it's awesome yeah awesome dude. [ __ ] he's going up against a chiseled. black dude you're like yes dude so he's. flat on his back here comes a complete.

freak and now watch this just gets right. up to his. feet and now he says he's. fine he walks over there jiggling all. that bat fat jiggling so now here's. what's crazy though he thought Deonte. thought the fight was over right that's. a very very embarrassing clip for. Deontay yeah he thought he had you see. him get up and you're like oh [ __ ] yeah.

there's a look when he sees him get up. watch right now he realizes he got. up and he's like oh [ __ ] he's back up. and so then from that round on Tyson. Fury beat him and Tyson Fury figured out. that if you get Deontay to back up he's. not as effective like that thing that. you saw Stipe do where he ran and. knocked out. that's hard do and some guys just can't. do that and deont is much going forward.

so in all the fights after that Tyson. Fury just controlled the the pace. controlled the distance kept it on him. kept him backing up and was super. aggressive it's fun Tyson's the funniest. man he's so [ __ ] funny dude [ __ ]. USIC he's like he calls everybody. [ __ ] yeah nothing yeah I can't even I. can't just yeah tosser yeah absolute. tosser scared to fight. me his uh when he's singing his singing.

yeah at the he's like walking in. Vegas a long long time ago I can still. remember he just knocked the guy out. he's [ __ ] insane person dude he's. just. singing oh that has to hurt losing to. him and you hear while you're walking. back to the tunnel you hear those. [ __ ]. [Music].

that doesn't even make sense you just. want a. fight and. maybey for a. while feary look at all people sitting. there go what the [ __ ] is longest song. you can Pi it's the longest song 8. minutes American. Pie that [ __ ] song's so.

long I can't remember if I cried when I. read about his. wiow something touch me deep. inside the he's trying so hard to sing. dude he's singing for real together now. he screamed like a pirate. he keep bullied the. [Applause]. singing look at how many people are.

still there sitting down after he won. the fight you know he's going to sing. [Applause]. dude oh yeah English they they love. singing they do yeah sing it a good. culture getting [ __ ] up and singing. together you and your boys come up with. a song that's fun dud our CH American. chance suck yeah we're not even close. well those those songs that they sing. back that's like back in the war days.

they would go on campaigns and sing. songs sing war songs trench dude hold on. I got to I got to piss can I piss yeah. let's piss all. right all right let's [ __ ] go let. [ __ ] go stop Joe Shane Gillis ladies. and gentlemen hey uh so tell me about. [ __ ] hoarding [ __ ]. hords last night this is the kind of. conversations we have at like 1:00 in. the morning he's like. dude you watch.

hoarders cuz I was like all right [ __ ] I. got to think of something I gotta have. something to say we always have. something to say I know I know but you. know how you get you get you know so. much about history you always have. something to say that's a that's an. interesting um element of your act that. I really enjoy is that you're such a fan. what's the matter Jamie looked at the. [ __ ] holder yeah sorry I didn't mean to. oh no it's unb unbel build coffee on. yourself no it's unbelievable um the you. have such a a knowledge of history and.

you're so interested in so many. different things that like it it layers. your comedy in a really cool way nice. it's good like like that George. Washington thing I don't want to say. anything because it's so good I don't. want to say I don't want to [ __ ] it up. but it's so good I love that bit and. it's but it's also historically accurate. it's [ __ ] fun it's fun because it's. like it's it's engaging me and it's. entertaining me like it's engaging me. it's interesting I always and it's also. very funny I always it never worked and.

I remember it uh in lanaster. Pennsylvania where like one of the open. mics where I started Amish Country uh. there was a joke I always used to try in. my the guy who was running the mic would. always be like dude do it do the Civil. War joke it never worked it was just. about dudes. walking to shoot each other like you had. to walk it was something about like uh. you know how racist you had to be to. like. be in the South and wake up one day and. be like wait they freed who what the. [ __ ] I'm going up there and then walking.

walking the whole way you had to sleep. at night and wake up and go like son of. a [ __ ] and they walked from Alabama to. Maryland you got shot in the head right. away who had that great joke about that. you know where they they'll tell you the. Civil War wasn't about slavery it was. about. economics like yeah you didn't want to. pay the help yeah yeah who joke is that. I don't know somebody has that joke I. don't know people try to act like the. Civil War was is it Bill Maher maybe it.

might be Bill Maher it's someone good. but I want I always wanted to do a joke. about uh cuz they the B like your. company whatever your group was cuz they. were all from the same town yeah so they. would your division or [ __ ] your. Brigade would be from your town all. right so you never left your town so. your your Brigade back then was. everybody you grew up with every dude. your son your brother your uncle and. your dad you're all [ __ ] together and. you you're marching shoulder-to-shoulder. and you watch your [ __ ] dad get his.

head ripped off by a cannonball you just. got to keep being like oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ]. canonball H getting you knew who was. getting shot oh my god dude yeah can you. [ __ ] I don't know why that's funny. imagine yeah how about the trench. warfare of World War I started in Civil. War Siege of Vicksburg I think that's. when they started trench war they. started yeah they say the Civil War in. America was like the first modern.

war this is the Revolutionary dude just. getting po so horrible look at this. walking towards each other like the. stupidest way to do it ever can you. imagine that people did this for some oh. God oh. God hit in the face with a cannonball. now that's that the Patriots roughly. based off of uh I think it's name is. Francis Maran the Swamp Fox and he was a. he was kind of an originator of gorilla. Warfare cuz they were like we can't we.

can't stand and fight the British God. damn we have to shoot him and run which. is pretty. funny how crazy are the British just. going to come over here and start. marching walk a big white stripe on your. chest red red jackets it's 100% a Target. red and white is what you use for. archery targets. they had to. change d That's so dumb once rifling. took over they had to be like all right. we got to switch our uniforms isn't that.

amazing though that that was that you. had to think of how much the British. army conquered in the world everybody. everybody and imagine that their. decision to fight was this. way like how how did you get from like. the Mongols to that how does that happen. in a thous. years the Mongols had all these crazy. tactics they would they would starve. people out lock them in their cities.

yeah they would wait them out slowly you. get artillery and guns you can just. especially that's but this is crazy. that's just running it down your throat. dude it's like we're going to walk at. you but I just can't imagine that. someone wouldn't say hey isn't there a. [ __ ] better way to fight these people. what we doing let's get behind a tree. and then shoot them I can't even watch. this dude. I can't believe people did that that's. what's so crazy it's like how did they. survive to become that silly like that's.

a silly way to fight a war right so how. did they survive with those strategies. how were they dominant with those. strategies they're the only ones with. well most of them are colonies where the. other guys are they have [ __ ] cow. hide Shields and Spears like the Zulu. and so they were the only ones with. mustard [ __ ] guns you just yeah. you're going to win you're the only ones. with guns so the BR Bri were the only. ones with guns well when it came to like. their colonies on a in a land War they. would lose a lot to like France Prussia.

those like major Continental Powers but. England always had a Navy they always. dominated through na Naval Warfare and. then they had to team up with everyone. to stop Napoleon dude once they started. shooting cannonballs off boats it's a. problem that must have been the game. changer when did they start doing that. when they start doing cannonballs from. boats cuz that's bro that is a. [ __ ] yeah you got a cannon on a. boat shooting people without cannons.

boom yeah you just do this all day how. many times did they have to shoot that. Cannon before they figured out how hard. they have to bolt it into the. floor a lot they shot out the other side. of the boat you got a floating wooden. thing with this giant iron tube on it. that has explosions go off on it and. just four. poor guys from. Manchester operating it oh my. God boom you ever see uh Master and.

Commander with Russell Crow I think I. have oh it's Jamie back me up dude I. don't remember it's got like a it's very. more it's way more popular now than it. was when it came I read an article about. that that why are so many men into. mastering. Commander I I thought it was a video. game what did they say was this guy was. gay. all right I don't read articles I read. the headlines that's what I read and. then I form my own opinions course it's. like oh there's a study out bro you.

don't even know about that study I hate. studies says more men like Master and. Commander than like anime that's good. that's a nice thing that would be good. kidding with the study but it's uh why. they like it Master Commander is good is. it yeah look at this dude that's fun. guys on boats Boys on boats dude you get. to grabb the boys when they're sleep. leaving you go don't telling youone. about this mate how weird is it they're. using a sex tent in a cloudy day how are.

they doing. that doesn't isn't a seant based off the. Stars isn't that what it works I have no. idea I don't know what the [ __ ] they did. uh imagine those things those kids are. looking through which this is really. wild like that was how they would. navigate imagine the crude tool that. they were using to float around around. in the [ __ ] ocean and they would do. it somehow or another through the stars. that uh that book the first thing I ever.

talked to you about was uh cabasa de. vaka yes and then they were like the guy. the guy they hired to do the navigating. like [ __ ] up yeah and then they they. had no idea he had to be like no I know. where we're going how accurate are those. sex stents I think if you're off. especially going from Spain if you're. off like a a little you're [ __ ] it. looks like we we have a updated version. now does it have like computers on it. and [ __ ] same thing scope maybe it looks. dope that looks way better so how does. it.

work uh there's a. description um the estimation of okay a. Sextant is a a doubly reflecting. navigation instrument that measures the. angular distance between two visible. objects the primary use of a sexon is to. measure the angle between an. astronomical object and the horizon for. the purpose of celestial navigation so. the estimation of this angle the. altitude is known as sighting or.

shooting the object or taking a sight. the angle and the time when it was. measured can be used to calculate a. position line on a nautical or. aeronautical chart for example citing. the Sun at noon or Polaris at night in. the northern hemisphere to estimate. latitude with slight reduction with. sight reduction rather citing the height. of the blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah I'm going to it's I don't. understand any of it um it seems like. they're using dots in the sky so like. one of them would be the sun one of them.

would be the moon and because they're. calculating the angles of how far the. things are away from each other and. where the the the stars are you can kind. of figure out where you are in the ocean. somehow I'm not sure I understand it but. now they just use GPS which is way. better yeah imagine back then when they. just didn't know where they were and. they thought they were in India. you know sort of it's a moving gift I. can't control it but it's showing how it.

works you read the angle I'm not going. to figure this out right now yeah we're. too dumb for this we're too dumb but. it's amazing that they use those to. travel all around the world like they. trusted those things and the the way you. would figure out through that yeah not. good and you might have scurvy anyway. yeah what you eating beef jerky every. day yeah hit you hit no wind you're just. on flat sea they're all sick they would. get sick yeah there's mutinies. constantly you'd be like this guy's. going to [ __ ] get us killed mhm and.

the storms were completely unpredictable. you had no idea when a storm was coming. zero idea that could deaka story I I. kind of forget it but it's amazing so. they I think they were in Cuba Hispanola. and they left and they tried to they. landed in like Tampa mhm and they were. like half of the party go get on the. sailboat or meet us at the harbor. there's a harbor up this Coastline and. they're like all right we'll just half. the part is going to walk half the. part's going to take the boat and uh.

there was no Harbor then they just got. they had to walk from Tampa to Mexico. City three of them made it they all got. killed yeah yeah pretty fun they had to. survive waves like this back then too. yes right 100% but they could not but. they didn't they went under I mean. that's why those boats sank there's so. many of those pirate ships and how about. the Roman ships they find that sank with. like a [ __ ] billion dollars with the. gold in them Spanish Spanish coming back. Spanish coming back from the new world.

just God there's probably a bunch of. those out there those guys that find. like hidden treasure or or sunken. treasure that's a wild thing man you. imagine if you're a guy who's invested. all this money got all this stress you. got a team of divers it's basically like. a CBS drama show you got a team of. divers and they finally find it and now. you got to protect it from Pirate kill. those guys that were on the dive with. you oh that bet that Happ we found a. trillion dollars I bet that happens a.

lot right I bet guys kill each other. probably yeah there's a story I know I. think I told you about it one time. before this guy he's known as he's he. did exactly what you're talking about he. found the gold he got an investment his. name is Tommy Thompson I think there's a. documentary about him he from he lost. lost the gold in quotes lost it didn't. know where he put it he's been in jail. pirate dude h under contempt cuz he owes. the people who invested in him the money. he's just like I don't know where it is. I can't remember where I put it and so.

the judge is just holding him how long. can he hold him he's been in jail for. like 20 years I think really yeah for 4. million it's at least 4 million I think. is the problem like he might have found. a lot and they're not he just didn't. tell everybody he found and so he's been. in jail for how. long let me see if I. can I believe it's a long it's more than. 10 years I think it's been going on for. a while well he looks so much older than. he did when he got arrested it's pretty. [Laughter]. neat oh yeah see it started back in like.

the 90s oh my God he discovered it in. like ' 89 and then went back um people. have been talking about it for a while. but I think he's as far as I know still. being held what a [ __ ]. idiot well not only that where's the. gold and how does he know it's going to. be there when he gets out you's been in. jail for 20 years could be some other. treasure Hunters yeah they think his or. his kids may have known about it but. they're like we don't we don't know. where it is either the story went on. forever it's from I think he's from.

Columbus Ohio that's kind of why I know. about it um and I think someone I know. knows knew him or knows the family or. something Columbus Ohio treasure Hunters. yeah I don't that's the I don't it's. just from. there anyway let's let's take a look at. this [ __ ]. hoarder you ready am I ready no one's. ready never. I'm the only one I think who thinks this. is hilarious okay how we blur this out. I'm not just think I'm just going to not. show it because it's known as like the.

worst story on don't show it don't show. it just show uh Shane's face ladies uh. show your reactions [ __ ] in. bottles oh boy for a decade oh my God oh. my God oh my God oh my God that's her. her that's the lady oh my God [ __ ]. everywhere she that's her [ __ ] bucket. yeah yeah wait watch watch watch watch. watch watch that's her [ __ ] bucket and.

then she's like sometimes it gets too. heavy so I have to transfer buckets. Christ bro I can't do this hold on I. can't do this oh my god dude shut the. [ __ ] up she lives in a [ __ ] house look. at that [ __ ] out that's so insane. look at [ __ ] everywhere dude oh my God. I'm going to throw up. look at her [ __ ] I can't look you have. to look look at her eating soup dude. Jesus soup on a pile of.

[ __ ] what the [ __ ] man so this's the. interview here she goes she goes I can't. be the worst hoarder you've ever seen. look at this sign it says I am okay why. do you has something to do with smell. yeah this is the problem when you let. kids think that I guess so because I. thought it was due to the mold and dust. you have to tell me this cuz I I you. don't know yeah I mean some people would. argue how do you not know that feces in. the house is bad but wait I don't smell. it anymore it's extremely dangerous okay.

okay stop stop stop stop I will [ __ ]. throw up dude she's so matter of fact. the entire time like the entire time. people like she's like yeah there's mold. in the walls that's why it smells like. that and they're like are you sure it's. not the Fe bottles of feces and urine. everywhere and she's like what no that. can't be it like no that's definitely it. she's like well that's news to me. imagine if this was fake and then they. conned us and that's like chocolate milk. and [ __ ] toil paper you can tell this.

lady's gone maybe she's like a really. good. actress used to put poop in a jug. okay yeah okay dude so at the very end. at the very end this is the this is this. is the best part so at the very end. they're like we're going to have to uh. uh we got to go in there and clear out. all the all the stuff in there so all. her Foods contaminated she doesn't her. she doesn't have a refrigerator she just. has bread on the ground that's covered. in mold at one point they're like you. can't eat that moldy bread she's like.

I'm going to take the [ __ ] mold off. obviously like all right at the very end. like poop everywhere [ __ ] everywhere. dude what do you think her like. digestive tract is like she's eating. Progressive soup with [ __ ] in it she's. eating nothing but soup because you you. get a certain amount of [ __ ] on your. anyway bottles dude yeah you know when. they swab things they find like human. fecal matter on things all the time like. door knobs and stuff so like you're if. you eat a chip after you touch a door. knob there's some feal matter probably.

that gets in there this lady's eating. all right so at the very end they're. like we got to go in there and uh she's. like hold on let me get one more night. I'm going to go ahead back in there and. eat some contaminated food and they're. like and then she goes and then the. part's over they're like you mean a. what you think it's a party to eat. contaminated food she's like what do you. guys [ __ ] care I've been in there. I've been in there eating poop for 12. years like what the [ __ ] hold on when. you get to that part at the very end the.

dude the dude W like she says it she. goes what do you care I've been eating. poop for 12 years as soon as he says it. he goes oh like just watching a dude get. defeated by a lady I'm try I'm trying to. explain this. properly the music they play dramatic. music she goes what are you guys [ __ ]. care and he goes he looks at her she. goes I've been in there eating poop for. 12 years and he goes oh. just she takes the guy's Soul dude on. trying to find it it's right it's. towards the very end they're giving her. basically the intervention it's two.

people outside it's a lady and a guy. imagine imagine your brain yes yes I'm. going to go ahead back in. there. watch it's going to be hard but I'm. going to give up some stuff this guy and. I I'm going to go ahead and eat some of. the contaminated food and then the. part's over cuz I have to get it because. when somebody goes on intervention they. want to get high one last time the party. ends for me tomorrow how is eating.

contaminated food a party I'm why the. does it matter I've been eating poop for. 12. years see no one else thinks it's funny. dude no one else I'm questioning out. it's fake or not no one else thinks it's. funny so beyond dude. reality I don't think it's fake but I've. been fooled before. true that's how it works it seems like.

if you're unless she's wearing. Prosthetics it seems like there's she it. seems like she's suffering the effects. of her poor diet like the inflammation. in her face from poopy at the end dude. at the end they bulldoze the house and. put her in an assisted living home is. not like a happy ending of Hoarders God. they said the house was beyond. contaminated City had to get involved. and destroy the land that just salt the. Earth that's so insane it's pretty fun. though just a lady and her mom [ __ ]. in a bucket before that what was the.

worst one the lady who eats toilet paper. remember that lady uh did you see the. lady who eats toilet paper that was uh. my sick addiction or whatever was that. what it was it's one of those I didn't I. never even watched it I watched this. hoarders I never watched hoarders yeah. she was just chewing up toilet paper and. she said it was addictive no there was a. lady the worst the second worst hoarders. is a lady who had like 90 dead cats in. her house oh God and she was saving them. my she was putting them in the fridge. she was like I I don't want to say. goodbye to these guys oh my God she.

takes them out she takes them out for. the camera their eyes are deteriorated. she's got a it's so [ __ ] funny oh no. don't show me this come on man. collection oh guys got a rat oh rat. collection dude rat Collection watch. this guy at the beginning he goes oh boy. uh he's like yeah people try to talk. about it but until you tried it for. yourself or something like that what. don't knock until you try it he has a. million rats what the. [ __ ] wow well you know there's like a.

temple in India where rats are have you. ever see that rat temple in India no oh. dude this is wild so this is a temple in. India and these rats all hang out with. everyone they eat with you they they. like leave the rats they put milk out. for them the rats are all drinking milk. they all they all like share yeah it's. the weirdest thing it's like a temple. filled with rats so as these people are. all praying like dude rats are.

everywhere everywhere but they're not. treated poorly well they got this wrong. but it's really weird man cuz this is. like look the rats just like eat their. food and it's this beautiful Temple. let's see what this guy does the guy. have an. explanation no is here let's see what he. says when they die they're born as rats. when a rat dies it's born as us. humans that might seem Preposterous to. many in the west so they're just.

chilling people here do they think that. they die and become a rat do word Circle. life or but they've managed to create an. environment where they live with rats. yeah well there's going to be a new. [ __ ] plague if these guys keep doing. this or not they better knock it off. seems like it's working fine maybe. that's how you avoid a play I bet these. dudes get viciously ill constantly the. diara. bro Indian food and rat [ __ ] rats all. day they're [ __ ] all over the place. that's the thing I like oh it's peace.

fille no it's rat [ __ ] no yeah you 100%. get rat [ __ ]. everywhere but what if they're right. dude what if you and me wake up rat. You're a Rat dude teally some guys. giving you milk do you know some animals. have a communal. toilet no yeah there's a there's an. animal called a Neil guy that uh we we. Hunted guy yeah Neil guy it's a this. Indian Antelope really cool looking. Indian Antelope they they have communal. [ __ ] piles they [ __ ] like you just you.

stumble upon a giant pile of animal [ __ ]. pretty cool cuz they like one of them. shits in there and the other one shits. on the pile they [ __ ] on each other's. [ __ ] and they just stack it up they like. [ __ ] in one area like a toilet yeah. that's I mean wild it's like a very good. in. evolutionary rhinos do it too rhinos. elephants some deer it says antelopes. horses raccoons what's that other one. Badgers Dicky dickn no Dons what the.

[ __ ] is that the [ __ ] a. diodon what is a. diodon what is that word dicey dicey oh. some sort of ancient. animal okay ex extinct so they used to. [ __ ] in a pile. too I didn't know raccoons did it it's. pretty exciting yeah I like I like those. guys raccoons are cool like raccoons. yeah I like all the animals that survive. with humans did you ever see the video. that I put on my Instagram of the. raccoon moving through the rafters no oh.

dude he's doing this like Mission. Impossible style in the rafters they're. so fun like easily yeah see if you can. find that Jamie it's cuz like watch how. he's doing it look look at this look at. this isn't that. wild I mean he's easily just moving. around. just letting his dick hang out damn. crawling his way across the ceiling like. with zero.

effort respect respect raccoons are the. [ __ ] they're the [ __ ] raccoons. Ru that that [ __ ] animals cool as. [ __ ] man yeah raccoons are great come on. man I it's dope having raccoons around. yeah cuz they're not real dangerous and. they'll eat your chickens and [ __ ] like. that but whatever oh they eat chickens. yeah yeah yeah you know who eats. chickens skunks oh skunks too skunks are. predators I like skunks I never knew. skunks were predators that makes sense. it totally makes sense like what else. little Badger looking [ __ ] [ __ ].

weas I like the like uh so like crows. raccoons pigeons I don't really like. pigeons but I like I like any animal. that flourishes when humans do well yeah. well crows are so godam I like possums. possums are cool boms are. coolow crows this is good crows are. better I like crows. possums I'd take crows crows are yeah I. like that they're smart they're really. smart you've seen those little things. where they do they make them like figure.

out tools and they figure out that fig. if they can't drink the water they can. drop rocks in there until the water. level rises that's very intelligent and. that story of those students that. captured a bunch of crows you ever hear. that one what's that one there's a bunch. of students that like as a science. experiment like captured a bunch of. crows and then anytime for the rest of. the year they would the crows would. bother them like other Crews other crows. knew about it and would bother these. people oh wow all day they'd walk on.

campus crows would be following them and. yelling at them wow yeah right Che help. wow yeah and I think I could be wrong. but I think they went back for a reunion. and the crows were still bothering them. whoa. yeah how is that I could just be wrong. so there's that it's definitely that. there's the real possibility but I was. thinking about it like what how could. they possibly cuz how long do they live.

so if they went back for the reunion how. many years are we talking about I. couldn't even guess how old a [ __ ]. Crow gets I bet those [ __ ] get old. dude sometimes Bird real old right I bet. crows get to 20 you think so yeah that's. strong a wild. Crow. H what does it say 5 years ago zoologist. John marzluff and his research team at. the University of Washington trapped. Bandon and released 7 to 15 American. what was it 7 or 15 what does that mean.

7 to 15 like they don't remember. American crows had five different sites. near Seattle before trapping the birds. the researchers dawned different rubber. masks specific to each site a caveman. face for example while the birds were. caged nearby crows circled the site and. sounded alarm calls the team then tested. the Crow's reactions to The Masks over. the first 2 weeks about 26% of the crows. that the researchers encountered scolded.

with a harsh repeated CA accompanied by. wing and tail flicking the masked. enemies groups of crows would sometimes. mob the researchers as well squawking. and dive bombing them when the. researchers wore different neutral masks. the crows normally did not react. suggesting that the tag birds as well as. the birds that watched the tagging. remembered the dangerous. humans wow that makes sense. man well this is what's weird the crows.

get over time more crows joined in on. scolding the mass researchers in a. little more than a year over 30% of the. encountered crows reacted and by three. years about 66% did the percentage has. continued to increase interestingly the. crows did not need repeated reminders of. their enemies they hadn't seen me for a. year year with the mask on and when I. walked out of the office they. immediately scolded me. wow wow so I wonder if they're teaching.

the other crows yeah. yeah oh it turns out that if young crows. born after the trapping incidents saw. their parents scolding the researchers. they joined in so they just trusted. their friend like hey that guy's a. douchebag [ __ ] you man yeah that's all. they do they sit up on a [ __ ] wire. [ __ ] you. hey hey [ __ ] you dude like how many. movies have crows as like a symbol of.

like uh the devil or some Demon or. ghosts do you remember that we were. talking about that movie the other day. um that they made about that Stephen. King book when he was Richard Bachmann. the dark side we're talking about that. movie do you know what that movie is no. which one is it it was a movie where. there was a guy who was a writer and he. would have like these seizures and he. would see crows and then he would become. this like super duper badass who was the. the guy who actually wrote all of his. books oh okay so he he had like some.

sort of brain malfunction that led him. to have a split personality but the. other guy was like a real guy and I. think maybe like it turned out he was. like some dead bad guy who I don't. remember but it was they they turn into. a movie but it's crows it's always crows. yeah those [ __ ] black birds are. staring at you smart yeah they're funny. dude The Dark Half that's what it is The. Dark Half not the dark side yeah he's. got a real dark half on Twitter that guy.

oh boy what a dork he turned out to be a. [ __ ] dork someone take Twitter away. from Stephen King yeah it just like he. gets so political about stuff did he do. The Shining mhm yeah he rules oh he. wrote The Shining he rules the book is. even more intense than the the movie he. didn't like the movie which is crazy I. read the stand the stand was awesome the. stand's a long ass B he rules yeah I was. quitting West Point I I had a week to. kill I used to listen or read rather his.

uh his books when I was on the train. when I was uh my taekwon do days that's. what I would read like most of the time. when I was on my way into town I would. read damn pet cemetery. Cojo he said he said he didn't even. remember writing Cojo just blacked out. on coke and beer what yeah oh Stephen. King rules dude rules he got [ __ ] up. in Ro God he got [ __ ] up and wrote. everything what if uh St Bernard he got. eventually got C he got clean and uh I.

mean stuff he's still an amazing writer. but the the early stuff when he was. Wilding you know the early stuff Kujo. [ __ ] me up read Tommy knockers no Tommy. knockers is a good one What's happen. Tommy knockers is about they they. uncover like a a spaceship that uh. crashed into the Earth like a long time. ago and. it starts affecting people in the in the. town they turned it into a movie at one. point in time yeah the movie was cool. but the book is the book is fun Kujo was.

the first horror movie I ever saw oh and. I was at my aunt's house and she let us. watch it and then on the way home from. our Christmas party our car broke down. we were in front of a a farm and a dog. started barking and I was like kujo's. coming he's going to kill us and my mom. was like who let Shane watch Cujo my aun. was hammered it was like I I let him. watch Cojo we watch. Cojo yeah yeah that scared the [ __ ] that. was the first scary movie I ever saw oh.

my God remember. that but he was just lit through the. entire time he wrote that book just lit. he was Cojo he was going hard bottom. right Cojo dude that was him on coke you. know you when you think about some of. the chaos of his books and the uh. amazing creativity that he had that's. just like some of the real. ruthless [ __ ] in like pet cemetery yeah. you're like whoa when you read it and. you hit the page just go [ __ ] like that.

guy was. wild yeah and now he's like Co KLA. Harris yeah what the [ __ ] dude they. killed him dude they got to him that's. MK Ultra you can't do that I think it's. getting old you can't go from being cool. to being like Cala Harris is looking. badass. today I think something happen. when guys get old they get old yeah and. they get tired problem is is like when. you get old and you become like a. kick-ass Democrat dude that sucks yeah I.

love to see dude I know this is not the. best take I love to see an old man. that's like a dieh hard. Republican like further right than the. Republicans that's what I like dude I. see a guy drinking a beer going what the. [ __ ] is this yeah I don't want to you. know well I don't know if that's the I. it's like I know a lot of yeah no I know. a lot of people that are DieHard. Democrats that are very good people yeah. of course but also prob better people I.

also know ones that are just lost. they're just lost in this ridiculous. tribe and they won't ever criticize. what's going they won't realize it's a. giant con game the whole thing is a. giant con game and you pretending that. your side is better than the other side. it's [ __ ] stupid the whole thing is. run by money the whole thing every. [ __ ] step of the way and to pretend. that this one side is the if they don't. get in democracy is going to fail the.

whole thing's bought and paid for the. whole show is produced bought and paid. for by giant. corporations you know the checks and. balances of our Constitution Bill of. Rights is the only thing that's keeping. it from just being fully captured and us. becoming just a complete corporate. State I think it hope it hasn't gone. past the point of no return the scary. thing is lobbyist and [ __ ] yeah it's. everybody knows that like money and. politics is not good like if you had to.

like logically look at a system and said. what would be the best way for uh it to. represent most of the people in a in the. the best way possible for everybody what. if we were running it like a company. nobody would say this is what we'd get. do have the people who have the most. money spend that money on those. candidates those candidates basically. work for them and they do the thing for. the people with the most money instead. of for everybody everybody would go no. that's terrible that's what we're doing.

that's that that's going to limit growth. for the the. underclass or the the lower um income. wage classes it's just it's it's one of. those things it's. like if you if you look at the way money. influences all the decisions that get. made in in this country it's not it's. not anything that anybody would if they. didn't have a stake in the game and they. were trying to make a fair system it's. not anything that anybody would ever. draft up yeah you wouldn't you wouldn't. say the corporations can just donate.

[ __ ] tons of money and you can also when. the politicians get out of office you're. allowed to pay them hundreds of. thousands of dollars to give speeches. like what it's a con game it's a con. game they just found a loophole you. know yeah it's very disheartening it's. weird because it's so embedded it's so. embedded. you know it's like to to untangle that. to Bernie Sanders the whole thing to. figure out a way to like someone to come. along that abandons it and tries to make.

a better. system until you take money out of it. you're not going to be able to do it but. no one's going to take money out of it. because now it's like a thing they're. making too much money they're making too. much money the guys who decide to let. money into it or not into it are making. money yeah I I think the only way that. it ever changes is if less people are. with willing to do evil [ __ ] just for. money well when you're in a corporation. that's never going to happen that's. right it's never going to happen I mean.

instead of coming in on a viking boat. with a battle axe now they're just you. don't have to do that anymore making. Banks crash yeah maybe was better with. the Vikings maybe just a giant Jack dude. comes and you're like [ __ ] there he is. there's a lot more accountability yeah. there he is that [ __ ] he's going. [ __ ] kill all of us now you don't. even know it's just some. dork I really want. I really wonder where where our where. the human society is going I really. do I think about it all the time because.

I think we're about just a a an. invention or two away from being [ __ ]. like what we were all at the bar yeah uh. last night and Dave Dave Chelle was. talking about how he met Steve Jobs and. Steve Jobs had the very first iPhone he. had it on him he had the very first. iPhone and and Dave was joking like I. should have taken that thing and I. should have killed that [ __ ] cuz. he's about to destroy the world we were. all laughing but it's true it's like.

that very first iPhone changed. everything from that moment on and what. else is going to happen like that what. else is going to happen like social. media or so it's not like this is it you. got to really look at it in terms of. like what what giant leaps have already. taken place and what this is chat gp4. that just got out that beats 90% of the. lawyers that are trying to to uh pass. the bar it beats their scores 90% of. them like.

that it's way smarter than people. already I have no it's way smarter than. people and we're we're letting it turn. on we're like literally letting it. operate and it it's we're on four now. and then it's going to go to five and. then around seven it's going to shut the. electricity off and start telling us. what to do like this is going to happen. like what the [ __ ] are we doing one day. it's going to say hey you [ __ ] idiots. pulling all the tuna out of the ocean. and throwing your straws away like you.

[ __ ] idiots have ruined everything. we're going to tell you what to do now. you make too much of a mess little. children I don't think the computers are. going to be environmentalists I think. they're going to worry about the system. true it's not an. environmental yeah they're going to make. sure the earth works it's not just an. environmental issue it's it's a. biological issue it affects the the. Plastics affect so many hormones in so. many animals it's [ __ ] animals up all. these Plastics really oh bad there's a.

great book about it called Countdown by. Dr shanana Swan and she was on the. podcast before a lot of books are. doomsdays yeah but this is she's a. Harvard I'm not saying she's wrong but. I'm just saying every [ __ ] but this. isn't a doomsday thing all right this is. what she's saying she's saying there's. phalates in Plastics and lady talking. about your gu gets smaller exactly. exactly I I checked my gu after that did. you check it godam that's a big gu dude. nice big medy American male gu thick gu. she said that dragon skin over the past. uh 50.

years um since the Advent of uh. petrochemical products whenever that was. the men's testosterone has dropped by. 50% yeah but I heard our dicks got. bigger I heard that recently I was. confused but our balls are shrinking and. our taints are shrinking let's go I. can't believe that but that's like. conflicting information whether or not. the dick got big if the dick's getting. bigger well I think men will go deal. speaking of dick getting bigger I got to. piss again all right damn it. nice nice I would live there I would. live in that neighborhood yeah it's.

great town I hate to admit it great town. it's a lot of fun here it's a good town. man we're having a good time and we got. more to come that club. bro wow right that was fun yeah it's. like um that that the Universe wanted. that club to be made it made itself like. all the pieces just sort of fell into. place terms of getting the right. employees in terms of like having the. right location it's like it all just. played out perfectly with covid the. lockdowns moving here it's like just.

like it opened up all these doors. everyone's friendly everyone's so. nice yeah you're right you got the you. got the uh very good at the team. mentality versus. the you know what's it famine what I. don't know how the [ __ ] whatever yeah. look people have a famine mentality it's. very very dangerous it's bad for. everybody because that [ __ ] comes true. too if you have a famine mentality you. can just decide there's a limited amount. of spots you start to resent you resent.

people you resent friends. MH happens a lot with like narcissists. and you know every comedian is a. narcissist in some way yeah but it. happens a lot with with people there's. there's people amongst us that like. really don't care about anyone but. themselves you know who's an insane. narcissist that's actually very helpful. is [ __ ] Bert. Bert was hitting us I was talking to him. he was like when I I don't he's like. when I die I want the world to end I was. like d That's crazy he was like I don't.

think I'm ever going to die he says he. doesn't think he's going to die yeah but. you got to understand that bird is also. kind of doing a. theovon yeah I do understand he does a. ber crer theovon type thing but Bert's. also one of the most helpful people in. comedy I should explain to people what I. mean by that a ber CR should like Theo. vaugh he when he says ridiculous [ __ ]. you don't know if it's because he. believes it or whether or not he's just.

joking that's why it's so funny it's. like uniquely funny because of that cuz. you're not really sure he was on our. podcast this week and he said that he. was like he ke he kept saying dumb [ __ ]. like that and I was like wait for like. for real like the an Frank Helen Keller. story yeah I believe it dude I've seen. him you you know him more than me but. like on the road I've seen that guy. operate he is he does some dumb [ __ ]. yeah where you're like no oh he does but.

I think he's leaning into it yeah he. does a lot more of that now than when I. first met him I think he's like when. Dice Clay started putting on the leather. gloves yeah dude he feeling his power. dude he's coming into his own yeah you. know but man what a [ __ ] guy just. help help him he's a great guy you guys. have you guys all that that scene yeah. you guys had a you know I remember being. in Philly being like [ __ ] these guys. [ __ ] [ __ ] and now I'm with you. like these guys aren't that bad huh why.

did you think [ __ ] these guys cuz I was. uh [ __ ] a Fleshlight in a on a. mattress so yeah [ __ ]. everybody that'll make you [ __ ] hate. everybody yeah I would I'd see anybody. special I go that. sucked yeah it's normal it's normal I. get people people do it now I would do. it I would do it if I was back on that. mattress I would say [ __ ] this 100% yeah. yeah especially when you're young you. know when you're young you're not.

exactly sure how to think about things. like how do I feel about someone else's. success you know but the thing about. what the store had uh was a a really. good Community like a a lot of like. really funny people supporting each. other and hanging out with each other. and making each other laugh and having a. good time together and so you'd look. forward to going on the road you do your. gigs on the road on the weekend then you. come in on like Tuesday night was one of. the best nights at the store You' go in. there on Tuesday night it would just be.

wall to--all Killers yeah it was like uh. like a a gangsters Convention of. comedians you know like just getting. together like how's things where you. working you you do Columbus which which. club talking [ __ ] having fun let's go up. back and have a drink and people it's. funny when you describe it as like. Killers mhm people normal people like. shut up but you don't understand the. feeling of being backstage and the guy. going before you is literally killing. you yeah killing like the guy in front. of you is killing so hard that you're. back there.

like yeah oh [ __ ] well I told you that's. why I started taking Joey Diaz on the. road with me cuz I couldn't follow him. and so I said okay like I got to I got. to figure out how to follow this guy. that's crazy dude like he was killing so. hard no that's crazy mentality no no. that was the only way that's the only. way you'd learn how to do it you know. but that's what I learned from mity I. learned that from Mitsy Shore like Mitsy. Shore when I was coming up at The Comedy. Store always put me on after the best. comedians always she's just like if you.

think you can do this you you think. you're good okay well you're going to go. after Martin Lawrence in 1995 [ __ ] yeah. dude that's tough oh I Hae. dick I ate. dick but it it it teaches you how to. tighten your act up it teaches you like. what parts of your Acts seem clunky cuz. you know sometimes you're just saying. things you're not totally attached to. them anymore it seems clunky in front of. these people that just saw Martin.

Lawrence it's like all that that's what. she wanted to do like like mity always. did that with people she would just. throw you on after some [ __ ] assassin. sink or swim [ __ ] that's funny yeah she. was crazy in the best way possible yeah. like the fact that she even wanted to. run a comedy club and she wasn't even a. comedian yeah she's the most important. figure in the history of Comedy that is. in a comedian for sure it's a MSY. Shore yeah I was. never you guys were all gone from this.

before I even got was able to perform in. La so I'd never I never by the time I. saw the store it. was yeah a shadow of what that was and. then it's the same thing yeah yeah. yeah well. we got this we got this this is pretty. [ __ ] cool and we got this and it's. all ours it's all just The Comedians.

and Adam the audience and Adam people. having fun and that's the that's the. intent behind it and uh so far that's. all it's been and you know this [ __ ]. one. week anniversary just passed like it's. it's been open a week yeah I wanted to. be down there the first week I was it's. going to be seven nights a week now. yeah so you're you're going to be doing. shows both rooms seven nights a week.

yeah it's going to be wild dude wild you. got to get a lot of people it's a lot of. people they're going to be there a lot. of people there every show sells out in. [ __ ] 10 seconds but it's a fun. [ __ ] show dud like we're giving them. something really good like these [ __ ]. shows have been. amazing last night was insane night so. put the tickets up for Dave Chappelle I. put him up I don't even say it's Dave. you didn't even say it was Dave you like. Secret Show intimate show in the small. room they get to see you and then.

Chappelle yeah it was a lot of pressure. and no one knew who was going to be that. was a lot of pressure so when you said. Dave Chappelle they went nuts they went. nuts yeah that was fun dude but you were. the first guy to ever be on stage in. that small room and that small room was. a different animal it certainly was. different animal I felt it pretty quick. the numbers man it's like that's a thing. about like a hundred people it's like. [ __ ] odd there's maybe a buck 20 in. that room you a lot of people were. standing in the back but that's not a.

lot of people no and the people that are. in the front they're so close to you. that it's like you're doing a joke to. their face which is real weird and. you're making eye contact with a weird. dude yeah turn there was just a guy with. long hair and a goatee staring at me I. was like oh [ __ ] but comedy like that is. real weird anyway like it's almost too. intimate like say if someone was G to. like if you wanted to S watch Joey Diaz. do stand up in front of you you wouldn't. just like sit right in front of them and. say Do stand up I'd want to be like in.

the third row yeah those people are. uncomfortable those people are. uncomfortable yeah it's weird and then. when you make eye contact with them they. go They're weird it out you're right. there I could just grab you I'll just. grab you yeah it's weird especially like. I saw where like Chappelle was like. sitting on the stool his feet were. basically on the front Row's table yeah. and there's just a dude sitting there. like. yeah staring directly up at Dave jaelle. Touch Dave's feet yeah you could grab. him you could rush to the stage and. Tackle him oh and then get stomped by.

Buster Rhymes. dude Chappelle the way he does like the. [ __ ] I'm gay [ __ ] like his. his voice he was talking about it last. night about a dude being able to tackle. him like I'm trans I'm. gay. G everything he does man it's the way he. talks yeah. you think he's just [ __ ] you're like. oh man he's rambling he's telling a. story and then right the [ __ ] last. second he finds it it's a call back he. does a call back yeah yeah I try not to.

get yeah I try not to talk to. philosophically about standup well it's. it's an interesting thing how everybody. does it differently you know that's. what's so fascinating about it to me the. Styles like the what like what makes the. oon funny like how is he doing that like. what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] is he. exactly doing I don't know what he doing. and there like Nate Bazi style hilarious. but it's like what a [ __ ] clearly his. own way of doing stand up the difference. between like Theo and [ __ ] Mark.

Norman yeah night and day night and day. that's crazy night and day that's a. different J it's that's what's so cool. about it it's just. like it's and it's it's all up to you. it's all in your own head damn I wish we. would have got more out of that [ __ ]. hoer dude I almost threw up that was the. only thing I had to promote I host Fear. Factor for six years I almost threw up I. mean yeah it was a [ __ ] freak living. in a h [ __ ] in a bucket dude they. did that for a while though that was. someone's baby girl yeah well that lady.

was also collecting her [ __ ] too she. raised her that was a that was a prodigy. her mom was a [ __ ] collector her mom was. a true champion who raised an absolute. animal what the [ __ ] is wrong with. people man oh you know severe mental. disability and then you end up you watch. your mom [ __ ] in a bucket. like I guess we [ __ ] in. buckets that's one part she transfers. cuz the the main [ __ ] bucket gets too. heavy so she's got transferred it into a. smaller bucket then she just throws in.

the backyard it's a swamp of [ __ ]. there's cats dude just stray cats and. [ __ ] no it's. crazy it's so. Fu I think I'm wrong I think I'm wrong. there's a couple every once in a while. there's something I think's funny that. no one else thinks is [ __ ] funny dude. and I'm like all right I'm wrong I think. it's funny that you're talking about it. you're talking about it as funny it. itself wouldn't make me laugh as much. howling.

laugh they showed her throwing a bucket. of [ __ ] the camera crew goes out with. night vision and there's cats just. darting across the screen my god oh I. showed Jamie that that video of that. [ __ ] uh dude shooting that Geral with. a. rifle guine Pig all right maybe I didn't. oh Jane you're just a 15-year-old boy. understand with an internet. connection I've never in my life seen. more dickpics seen more [ __ ] horrible.

videos of people having sex with. reptiles you have everything it's just a. me and Ian fance are the only two dudes. on Earth that think this video is funny. and we keep sharing it with people and. they keep going dude what the. [ __ ] I'm like bro it's funny you don't. understand I think it is funny hold on I. got to it's obviously funny when you're. talking about it but it makes me sad. hold on I got to find. this it's just a a kid there's a guy I.

think taking a. [ __ ] and ccr's. playing hold on have you seen the one. where the guy Cliff Dives and takes his. [ __ ] in midair and then plunges into the. water with his [ __ ] oh my God the music. the [ __ ] what did he shoot. with I need the music. dude oh my God.

R did he shoot the dad he shoot the the. yeah but the the guy was holding the. [ __ ] look at. that like that kid fired a rifle in the. [ __ ]. house from like 4 feet away into the. ground. oh my God that's so [ __ ] up so I'll. probably get it nobody's going to like. you're not showing that on the screen. right no no one's going to like it no. don't like that that's I don't I don't.

like it I'm not happy the kid did it I. think it's Preposterous I think it's a. guy screaming going oh my God imagine. being the guinea pig every day they feed. you you think I got a good spot they pip. me up they pet me then one day he just. decides to shoot me [ __ ] hits you with. a rifle d right it's probably not even. his guinea pig it's probably his sisters. I shouldn't have done that that's okay. no again I've been proven right nobody. thinks it's funny that you think that's. funny dude CCR playing.

why why is that guy [ __ ] and a dude. executes a guinea pig while he's. [ __ ] I don't think that guy's. [ __ ] because it seems like he has. his pants on it seems like he's just. filming the kid with the gun yeah but he. seems genuinely sh he goes oh my. God he just fell back cuz this [ __ ]. idiot shot a rifle into a stone floor. here's a better question Ricochet why is. he filming before the kid opens the door. they they worked it out to do it well. then then is is it even real obviously.

yes is it even real it seems pretty. [ __ ] real seems legit cuz that thing. does fly yeah dude that is legit and it. looks like his dad fell over or whoever. is filming it fell over and that's why. his legs are like that a Brer film he. probably get hit with breaking it down. he probably hit with a Ricochet man I'm. dumb as hell I never even thought why. are they filming before they this is an. obvious one yes dad's an idiot too and. he talked the kid into shooting the.

thing with the rifle with CCR. yeah well you had that later you have. fun with that you think that's post you. try a few try a few out you do that with. Instagram reals I think they found the. best song. possible happening the best s the red W. and blue. pH you and your dumbass kid are shooting. it [ __ ] all right so I think I think. that's where I have a tough time is. relating that why I think it's funny.

okay I don't think that on the surface. is funny same with the [ __ ] hoarder of. course I don't think it's good person I. think the concept of how tragic life is. and how that got there is comical I get. it like the [ __ ] hoarder yeah no I get. it it's not funny most people that see. it go whoa why are you showing me this. this is terrible listen it's funny when. I'm watching it with you it is funny. it's funny this lady's life look it's. two different things it's me watching it. by myself where it's like oh my God this.

is so sad then it's me watching it with. you which is. hilarious what are we going to do we're. going neighb her neighbors god what the. smell that must come out of her [ __ ]. house when they walk their dog by oh the. dog's like dude cats in the backyard. [ __ ] is in her body it says it's been. building up for 40 years 40 Years of. trash so her mom and her there's a video. another video put up by a& that's a. shorter vers years of [ __ ] 40 trash Oh.

my God just stop stop no more I was I. was just no. more 40 [ __ ] years 40 Years of. [ __ ] into bags I haven't been alive. that long people have been [ __ ]. since day one just endless pile not a. big house either not like a giant house. where you could store it in the far. right corot dude they're putting. butthole to. bottle seiling it up and like the. grossest lady.

possible no eyebrows the grossest lady. possible open it up no eyebrows. contaminated starfish and drop it off. [ __ ] it's funny dude I know it's. Biscuits I know it's funny. dude crazy shoot kid shooting the guinea. pig so far no one has enjoyed not fun. it's uh isn't it interesting though like. the wide variety of people that you can. get someone like you know John karmac.

the guy who was one of the coders that. was working on uh Oculus that's trying. to fix virtual. reality. kig same world with a rifle at the same. time oh my God it's like what I'm saying. about Viking Behavior it still takes. place you could be in the wrong part of. the world and see brutal savagery right. now yeah [ __ ] lady and Elon Musk you. know what's really wild now is you're. getting all these Russia uh Ukraine war.

videos that you could get on people. sharing them on telegram enough I. haven't got a hold of. those and I yeah they're rough they're. rough because this is all you know cell. phone footage and high resolution you. know Samsung camera footage see dudes. get like I see people get in like their. apartment hit by a [ __ ] jet yeah I I. I saw one where they killed a guy with a. sledgehammer. whoa dude they're rough they're they're.

filming [ __ ] and putting it. online yeah um there was this one where. this Russian soldier made it into this. uh little area where these uh Ukrainian. guys had been they were in like a like a. ditch yeah and he he executed both of. them and it's like close range rifle. shots to the head and you're like who oh. my god.

Riley obviously it's not funny it's like. whoa uh anybody who thinks that you know. there's something about like the concept. of War without visual confirmation of. the horrors of War yeah like I think. people like how many people that are. like really left on Twitter are like. literally asking for us to support. Ukraine in this war against Russia with. more military spending the people on the. left which is really fascinating right. but I think part of this whole call to.

war it it becomes like the thing that. the other side is opposed to so you're. going to support this thing yeah and. you're going to be aligned because the. good people are on this side and they're. clearly aligned with that thing so. you're going to be on that thing but if. you could see it if like we had to watch. every day we had to watch footage from. the war yeah you'd say stop yeah if. there was a channel I mean because you. have all these channels that are. dedicated to the news there's plenty of. footage out there that they could. capture to show you the actual horrors.

of. War I mean I yeah I I think that's been. a problem with war yeah forever is that. dudes that get out of it go we don't. need this we got to stop this is the. worst thing possible yeah it's like. [ __ ] Red Badge of Courage in the. Civil War they wrote a book that that. was like it's not what you think it is. it's not Glory it's cowardice it's it's. the worst thing possible it's hard it's. all evil yeah it's all evil [ __ ] but. don't you think that without seeing it. without seeing it I don't.

know like that's like that decision. should be super important right but. yet there's very. little like there's there's very. little in terms of like promoting the. actual violence of war in a visual form. there's very little of that available. where you could just go to a channel and. say if you want to know what's going on. in war we're going to show you all the. video footage that's been accumulated. every day of the war in Ukraine so.

you'll be able to watch hours and hours. of cell phone videos every day of people. getting executed people getting tortured. people getting killed drone bombed all. that [ __ ] and then you can decide if you. want to support War because if you don't. see that and then you say you want to. support War what does that even mean. like you're talking about some sort of. some sort of term that doesn't apply to. anything that's going affect your life. yeah I don't know dude it's weird right. yeah I was uh this is a little off topic.

but like I I sympathize with [ __ ]. Neville Chamberlain the guy that like. when Hitler was going wild and he was. like whatever we need to do to avoid war. let's plate and allow so Chamberlain's. like considered like a coward throughout. history because then Churchill came in. and was like we're gonna [ __ ] fight. wow but he was the guy he' witnessed. World War I and he was like we can't do. this again if he wants to take [ __ ]. Czechoslovakia [ __ ] let him and. everyone's like this guy's a coward wow.

but then you kind of you realize that. guy he was doing what he thought was. right he didn't know there was. concentration camps. right I don't know and this is. definitely not a Nazi Germany. verse democracies or Allies War this is. who the [ __ ] knows what this is this is. a scarier War this is a weird War it's a. weird one and it's not like I don't know. there like it's very clear that [ __ ]. that's the thing you drink a couple. beers you try to talk you sound like a. [ __ ] no you're not sound like a. [ __ ] I'm just saying like uh like.

World War II it was good guys versus bad. guys right and we were the good guys. Russia was bad it was good guys and a. bad guy teaming up to fight the worst. guy yeah uh this one I have no. idea yeah Russia versus. Ukraine who's what's going on. this isn't a clear-cut [ __ ] we need. to do it well I don't know it's not it's. I genuinely don't know anything it's not. good you know it's not good and it's.

also it's not um it. doesn't when people are anxious and. they're worried about war they make very. rash decisions like I remember um in the. 80s everybody was really terrified of a. war with Russia like it hung over our. head I don't know if people know that. like there was during the the Red Scare. during the Russia times just like in the. 1980s everybody was constantly worried. about a war with. Russia and then when the Soviet Union.

collapsed when that happened it was like. a giant weight got lifted up to fight. drugs but yeah exactly time for us to go. to war with drugs to War on Drugs when. when the Soviet Union collapsed it was. the whole world took a sigh of relief. and for a long time we didn't worry. about war again and now here we are here. we are with like supersonic nukes like. what Hypersonic nukes yeah we can't we.

can't let people do that yeah but the. problem is I'm not going to do anything. if if you look at what people have done. throughout history if we say oh we would. never do that again we're too rational. yeah but that happens every time for. throughout history and all World War II. happened right right after World War I. oh yeah they just witnessed what. happened yeah and then those dudes sent. their sons yeah and they knew their sons. were going to experience what they did. which was the worst [ __ ] of all time.

yeah and they yeah it's not like we're. [ __ ] above War now dude that time we. were on protect our parks and you uh. texted your uncle about Vietnam yeah. that was a little. dark that was a dark one that was Heavy. yeah that was Heavy yeah that war. imagine going to that war and then being. re you realize the end that the whole. country got duped you realize it was. pointless Gulf of tonan was a false flag. the whole thing was they knew it was. wrong from day one how much of Vietnam. do you think had to do with.

Heroin I don't know people not 0% people. make that argument with Afghanistan too. yeah not 0% well listen the argument. about Afghanistan is ridiculous they. shouldn't make that argument because. only 96% of the world's heroin comes. from Afghanistan all of the heroin you. mean that they shouldn't make that. argument that's a that's a [ __ ] consp. iracy Theory and you're a conspiracy. theorist yeah if you yeah if you look up. when Afghanistan became the they want. that money largest exporter it 2002 2003.

stop it yeah they don't want that money. listen I know our government I know how. they operate the last thing they want is. heroin money you son of a [ __ ] remember. when uh haraldo Rivera is interviewing. the troops and the the troops were. guarding the poppy fields is this it. yeah yeah. these opium fields and we are tolerating. it we are tolerating the cultivation of. the Opium because we know that if we. were to destroy it now the population. would turn against the Marines and it.

would be a real security risk let me. introduce Lieutenant Colonel briyan. Christmas he's the commanding officer of. the Third Battalion six Marines uh. really a wonderful group of Marines here. uh I know that you care deeply about. this uh this contradiction the fact that. uh here you have one of the best. fighting forces in the world ever. mounted uh and in in a sense you're. watching as uh this opium is being grown. I know it grinds at your gut uh how do. you deal with it what are you doing. about it well uh frankly this is a part. of their culture so uh while it might.

grind in my gut it it's what they do uh. we we provide them security we're. providing them resources and we're. providing them Alternatives and the. Alternatives uh are different crops to. grow they're getting the seed and the. fertilizer to do it uh they they're. going to switch out for. tomatoes they're going to grow tomatoes. dude yeah man. artichokes yeah we're defending the. field yes and they're doing the people. US military the people taxpayer taxpayer.

dollars I mean armed and equipped. guarding poppy fields that will be used. to make heroin yeah that's going to. reach its way to [ __ ] up my family 100%. yeah yeah that's where it's coming from. and it's inside [ __ ] stuffed animals. sh on Kensington Avenue andil. yeah yeah and this is pref fenal these. are the pref fenal epidemic days but you. know that's [ __ ] the whole thing's. [ __ ] if you could see how many people.

before and after they started making. those opio pills you can see the before. and after how many people got hooked on. Heroin I bet the numbers would be. Bonkers yeah like the the heroin Market. in the world is worth so much money and. most of it comes out of Afghanistan and. we used to guard their fields but if you. make any. connections you're a conspiracy. theorist yeah I mean the truth is is.

what else why the [ __ ] would we ever be. in Afghanistan listen we were there for. freedom I don't know what the [ __ ]. you're talking about those guys were. from I know those people they would. never make money off of heroin okay so. shut your mouth [ __ ] communist I do. yeah [ __ ] what. but you know what I'm saying like if you. question it if you question it like like. what are you talking about they make. money doing everything you don't think. they make money selling heroin like they. made money during the whole uh conscious.

versus the Nicaragua uh the sandinistas. in Nicaragua they whatever that was they. were selling crack I have no idea what. that was yeah who knows it was some. Ronald Reagan [ __ ] yeah I remember I had. Oliver North for President t-shirt. though yeah cuz I knew it would piss. people off I bought it from a dude on. the street in Kenmore Square yeah that. tends to be my political leaning yeah. just whatever's gonna bother people yeah. yeah at the time I was a kid I was just. reading something kind of interesting I. was trying to see how much heroin has. been used over time and this uh.

Government website says it hasn't. changed much since like 2000 this. between 02 and 13 but the numbers didn't. change a ton kind of stayed the same H. so I'm like hm are poppy seeds used in. uh other opiates which of course it is. hydrocodone for instance yeah that's. true right they Pharmaceuticals right. yeah I bet that's a big part of the. market as well but also if they're using. it for pharmaceuticals are they taking. like poppy seeds and converting directly. to like opiate pills I just was thinking.

of the last season of Ozark and how they. had to get involved with the cartels to. keep the [ __ ] business going I was. like that I wonder how much of that was. real yeah unrealistic probably not. unrealistic if we had a big corporation. that had like a nice shell company that. they can negotiate with and not have to. talk directly to the cartel yeah you. just got to talk to the [ __ ]. yeah I mean just you're just talking. about so much money so much [ __ ]. money in heroin heroin and heroin pills. but the United States definitely that no.

involvement whatsoever in the heroin. trade it's only two countries. coincidentally that had a large heroin. Market that we also had Wars there but. whatever yeah yeah yeah whatever. bro would you want to live in and both. of them for literally no reason no. reason but. yeah for [ __ ] zero reason well uh 911. wasn't zero reason bro I. know don't get me fired up dude don't.

hit me with craziest one is the the. Takeover of Iraq which there was like. zero evidence that has anything to do. dude that's my favorite that's my. favorite Chappelle sketch what is it. Black Bush oh where he's like well I. can't say the exact words but he's like. they're like why are you invading Iraq. he's like tried to kill my fa. like I can't you gotta play it but's he. tried to kill my father and then she's. like uh you sure you're not trying to. get oil and he's like oil what you. talking about oil [ __ ] what are you.

cooking yeah play this is so good are is. definitely right for regime change all. right but if I can be real about it be. real son real be real real son try to. kill my father man what play that say. word they tried to kill your father son. that [ __ ] tried to kill my father. so good dud it's so. good oh my God yeah no yeah I dude the. the war in Iraq was ridiculous I.

remember I watched it I was I was I. watched on TV remember that night when. we opened bombing just on the news I. remember we like here's us [ __ ] up. some other City yeah boom we watched it. and I was you see the Tracer missiles. yeah I remember being a kid and be like. this is [ __ ] weird yeah. it was [ __ ] weird it weird what's. really crazy is that they never showed. the evidence of weapons of mass. destruction that they should have sh.

they should have had something that. would let them go to war but they never. had any real evidence hey remember when. Alex Jones got uh sued for a billion. dollars more and then uh I think it's. more than people that killed a million. people in Iraq didn't face any. repercussions crazy what a Time what a. time huh isn't that. nuts isn't that nuts what the heck. what's the real misinformation I said. what the heck yeah also like the news. media went a billion dollars a billion.

like 965 million but there's more too. it's like there's more. judgments that part's funny see what I. mean though like it is the funny part is. them going a billion dollars what the. funny part is that but the people that. said there was weapons of mass. destruction and then the people that. perpetrated that lie. nothing nothing leads to the destruction. the failing New York Times no.

repercussions. nothing are you ready for Trump dog to. come back yeah I've had a c I've had a. couple bruskies D it's time to talk. Trump dog it's time to bring up dude he. called a who did he just call Meatball. oh Ronda santis meatball Ron. unbelievable all Ron us to do is drop 20. pounds and that goes away he did start. to lose weight looks like it getting a. little presidential yeah he was. bordering on Christie get a little chill. he was bordering on Christie getting a.

little thick he was he had the makings. of a Christie yeah but lately he looks. better you think he's on. OIC I hope not God damn dude if we have. a president on [ __ ] OIC I bet he's on. OIC what do you think Biden's on dude. everything steroids cocaine adol. anti-depressants anti-anxiety medication. I drips of vitamins every day I think if. they were smart they would do that to. him they would they would give him. definitely give him testosterone. definitely give him either some sort of.

peptides or growth hormone he's [ __ ]. really close to the end of the line they. can't they cannot [ __ ] this up this bad. and run him again they will run him. again if he lives they cannot do that. who else was he going to step down then. you'd have to admit there was something. wrong and so then the Republicans be. like you ran that. guy Obama they have to run it. Obama yeah she could win she could win. easily she [ __ ] destroy destroy she.

would destroy but why would she want to. do that again like they already have a. [ __ ] would want to control the. Earth what the [ __ ] would she want to. control the entire world for and get all. the secrets to longevity experiments. that are being done right now on the the. great desert Brock gets to come back. yeah. yeah he gets to come back as the the. first man tell you who doesn't want that. as [ __ ] Yemen they're going godamn I. hope that guy doesn't come back right. the guy that just bombed us Dr bomb the.

[ __ ] out of. us yeah that's funny we we like over. here we're all like yeah we did it human. rights Nobel Peace Prize they just bomb. the [ __ ] out of. Yemen anyway yeah the international. conflicts that are going on all the time. that no one thinks about it's so much so. that. if you had a guess will there ever be a. time where there's no. war ever like no war one day ever is. that ever possible I would say no no but.

I say no it's not possible there is that. peace phase of no major world powers and. we're kind of running into it now with. Russia Ukraine but like the top whatever. 50 GDP countries never fighting yeah. that's good sort of that's the closest. we can get to but if someone like Putin. decides to to use nukes if we like. funding a proxy war through Ukraine if. he gets this point where he realizes his. losses are too high or something's too.

wrong and he wants to prove a point and. he's like I'm just going to shoot a. tactical nuke into a [ __ ] apartment. building I'm like okay what do you want. to do now cuz uh I might just launch. these towards Chicago you [ __ ] [ __ ]. meone it's just not we're not getting a. balanced story either you know there's. no there's very little discussion about. what led them to do that about NATO. encroaching closer and closer to the. Russian border while trying to get them. to join NATO yeah there's not very.

little discussion about that it's not. that it justifies what Putin did it. certainly doesn't but for whatever. reason the news wants to ignore all the. steps that led to this sure and not say. hey maybe you guys should stop [ __ ]. around in these countries this way. yeah I hear you there's probably. something there's probably something. with [ __ ] energy and 100% something. something and also with military. spending yeah much I mean when when. things are popping off that's when you.

got to make [ __ ] yeah and when you make. [ __ ] you make money let's go yeah so JFK. got his [ __ ] head blown off [ __ ]. go like maybe we shouldn't send troops. in there yeah like you trying to cost us. a trillion dollars dude haraldo Rivera. was the guy that showed that to the. world oh the zuder yeah yeah remember I. don't but I I've seen it yeah that video. is wild it's Dick Gregory and haraldo. Riva and some other cat yeah and they. watched the GRE I know everywhere.

popular comedian back then that's what. he was doing and he brings a [ __ ]. video of the zuder film on know a talk. show he's like he everybody check this. [ __ ] out you get to watch Kennedy's head. explode on TV imagine you're at home. what do who the [ __ ] knows what's on I'm. looking at the TV Guide right remember. the TV Guide were you around for TV guid. yeah I was or you would get a TV Guide. in the Sunday paper tell you what all. the shows are that are on yeah and so. you go oh okay Dick Gregory the comedian. is going to be on the haraldo show I'll.

check it out and then you're watching. Boom the president's head explodes like. what the [ __ ] yeah dude how about the. heads. up no pun in. God uh yeah that had to be especially. back then that had to be who didn't even. know what was going to be on R Rivera is. fired dude he's everywhere remember the. uh Al Capone's vault no but then they. opened it it was nothing I never saw big. live on TV special here we go and they.

chip through the walls empty room yeah. that's it well thanks for tuning. in probably got good ratings dude. everyone was watching. it yeah yeah then he went and. interviewed the guys defending the Opium. Fields the poppy fields yeah what a life. nice good Marine you got here these are. great Marines what are you guys doing. defending poppies Garden her oh it's. part of their culture yep part of their. culture back to you guys at the desk. well what the [ __ ] are we doing art of. their culture preserving heroin.

yeah I don't know it's tough because. there's a party like you want to like I. recognize I I have no idea what's going. on so I'm there's a party that wants to. just be like [ __ ] it I'll just live live. my life there's nothing I can do about. it yeah and then there's a part where. you're like well if you can help. try but I guess I'd have to do the. research to get involved yeah you know. what I mean right if the prospect of. nuclear war is out there I just I don't. think we're really going to be able to.

help that you're right but I think. that's also the attitude that people. have that allows them to get away with. things for as long everyone just goes. [ __ ] it I can't do anything yeah. everyone goes [ __ ] it I can't do. anything about. that it's very sketchy I mean if it. wasn't for world leaders no one would. have any conflict with large groups. groups like these large groups of people. they're led by people and they have. conflicts with other people and they try. to steal resources and money and [ __ ]. yeah we definitely wouldn't be trying to. fight Vietnam no we're not the proof is.

in the fact that we don't fight with. each other state to state there's no. difference between state to state and. there is country to Country except for. constitutions and laws and this and that. but as long as the people can. communicate like if you're going to a. place that also speaks the language that. you speak who gives a [ __ ] in America. you can go anywhere right you can go to. New Mexico you can go to Florida nobody. treats you like you're an Invader right. and everybody kind of gets along but. it's country to country that [ __ ] gets.

weird now why doesn't make any sense why. would it if everything was like the. states yeah it's just a little [ __ ]. talking but imagine because in. continents right inside the United. States it doesn't happen what happened. during Civil War right but it's it's. rare for the most part it works out. happen once and you can go around and do. whatever the [ __ ] you why why can't that. be the case for the whole godamn world. well of course it can if you don't have. like. leaders that want to steal resources and. leaders that want to push arms closer to.

borders and leaders that want to violate. treaties and leaders that want to push. things and come up with better weapons. and have them pointed towards your city. and. yeah so. exhausting yeah but yeah I get it though. as soon as I leave this country like I. was in Canada last week I was like [ __ ]. this America's number one dude [ __ ] your. country the country is ridiculous. especially during Co you got to see how.

ridiculous it is anytime I go to another. country I'm like dude America's [ __ ]. number one do you think Trump's gonna. win if they run Biden either disantis or. Trump will win yeah they can't run Biden. even though he was the most popular. president of all time how about that. most votes ever well he is the best what. he's the best so if you there's nothing. there what would you like what would you. do is it uh gabin Nome like what would. you do Elizabeth Warren like who. Michelle Michelle Michelle Obama if she.

wants to do it Obama she would win yeah. she would win she would win off just she. would [ __ ] those dudes up. yeah. unless so many people have been. redpilled because of this Administration. and all the wackiness. that like the bubble people because it. was always kind of 50-50 anyway the. bubble people might go towards that. because there's so much Insanity on the. left here's the bummer is I was I was. talking with uh I was with Norman and.

list and Ari and we were doing a show. and we were talking afterwards about how. like you know the the classic like. [ __ ] things seem to be relaxing a. little as far as like the woke like the. all that [ __ ] you know what I mean but I. was like it's GNA get worse the second. this election starts ramping up we're. going to go right back into it. especially if it's Trump M it's going to. go right back to where we just were yeah. especially when people think there's a. real threat of him winning yeah they'll. get very hysterical and if you don't. think that's Cas go right back my.

favorite GIF in all the internet is that. lady with the sock hat and the glasses. on her knees when Trump won screaming. screaming it's one of the greatest that. was the thing that was the thing I. didn't vote for Trump but man when that. guy won I was. like dude immediately I was like yo. dudee if he wins again do you know first. of all how is he he's all fat and. everything and he's 78 right but he's so. alert I know he's giving speeches and.

I'm like damn that guy's got the juice. again he's got the juice he sounds great. I I do I want to see if Dan santis. swings at him that'll be interesting if. he fights back calls a meatball. Ron yeah he said that's crude he's not. going to say it as well I was just. looking up Ron said once but he's not. going to say oh that's how he talks [ __ ]. yeah he goes I'm not going to say that. what' you call him meul Ron I would. never say that it is so funny he hit uh. who was it one of them with.

[ __ ] it might have been Ted Cruz or. Marco Rubio he call him [ __ ] there was. a lady in the crowd and she goes he's a. [ __ ] and he goes what' you say and she. yelled it again he was like he could. tell no one else heard it he goes she. called him a [ __ ] I would never say. that he said that out. loud micone bro yeah come on man he's. got comic timing he's a [ __ ] that's. terrible I would never call him [ __ ]. he's a [ __ ] that's terrible during the. campaign RA in New Hampshire Trump hit.

back then then rival Ted Cruz by quoting. a woman in the audience who called the. Texas Senor a [ __ ] she just said a. terrible thing you do it do it she just. said a terrible thing you know what she. said shouted out. okay you're not allowed to say it I. won't say it she called him a [ __ ]. crowd went nuts dude oh yeah he said I. never expect to hear that from you again. that's terrible he like fake scolded her. while smiling you shouldn't say that. President dude that was the president.

and he won and he won um it's going to. be interesting to see what happens I. think it's it's a mess because you know. by just trying to get someone into the. office as a Democrat and picking Biden. because he was the most likely to win. they put themselves in a terrible. position where he's like he's way too. old and everybody knows it there's a lot. of people that won't vote for him just. because of his age and they're scared. that KLA Harris is gonna be president. you know she is she's his vice president. again like dude that's a mess that's a.

mess nobody wants that that's not. working out right now I think I think we. all realize we [ __ ] up a little yeah. you see Joe talk you go oo we just. wanted to be done with the [ __ ]. circus but who would they get who's like. effective other it's really just. Michelle Obama I mean you could see. other people having an impact yeah I. again I don't Gavin Newsome If he if he. hadn't [ __ ] up during Co like if Co. didn't happen Gavin new was F FastTrack.

to be the president but Gavin Newsome's. like disantis where I'm like once people. hear him talk you're gonna go oh like. Gavin Newsome's just doing. Obama doing Obama the difference is. people don't like Gavin Newsome in his. own State they just take him over a. Republican and people love to. people love dantis in Florida they get. but but there are people that love him. like he has fans that love him I don't. think gav Newsome has a lot of fans. here's what I think about S I think yeah.

I hear you for sure I he got busted. wearing a m no mask in a restaurant what. everyone's supposed to be masked and I. think with DeSantis I don't know enough. about him I think people love the idea. of DeSantis where they're like Florida. [ __ ] said [ __ ] Co we're going to keep. you know they did their thing so they. love the idea of Dan santis but nobody's. ever heard him talk nobody's ever seen. him talk and when you do you go oh [ __ ]. this guy's a dork they go God damn it. this is another dork I've seen him talk. a bunch of times I know I'm just talking. about the general public I think when. they see him talk right now I'm sure.

he's doing fine in approval but nobody's. seen him and when he talks especially if. he starts trying to talk [ __ ] back and. forth with Trump yeah that's going to. get ugly it's going to split. that it's going to be fun dude me ball. Ron me ball Ron oh my God it's so. exciting uh yeah it'll be fun the. spectacle will be fun but the spectacle. will be fun but then there's it's also. the same Prospect every time I never. feel good about who's going to be the. president it's always like. okay it's never it's never like anybody.

that really is coming along that's going. to like revamp the system and some sort. of meaningful way and the only way to do. that is to take money out they're never. going to do that so it's just [ __ ]. keep telling jokes yeah [ __ ] it that's. what Trump's good for yeah we'll just. keep telling jokes Trump's way better. for us yeah. in terms of like material Trump's good. for material but he's bad for the. culture of Comedy how so people get way. more touchy cuz all the all the race and.

transphobia and homophobia that gets. ramped up big time right so then people. actually get sensitive I wonder if. that's going to ramp up again or if. that's run at cycle I did that that [ __ ]. worked tremendously yeah yeah they're. going to run that Playbook again for. sure all right dude let's wrap this up. [ __ ] right we got we got [ __ ] to do. yeah all right I hope I wasn't totally. incoherent there no no it's been fun. we've been having a good time remember. the [ __ ] hoarder yeah [ __ ] hoarder was. awesome I just have to pee again so I. figured it's a good time to wrap it up.

bye everybody. [Applause]. [Music].