Joe Rogan Experience #1641 - Matty Matheson
[Music]. [Music]. for anybody else would be a real issue. it's on brand so i'm i'm on brand yeah. you're always on brand i am a brand. dude speaking of on brand you uh you. [ __ ] this podcast up because you.
stepped in here with some franklin's. brisket. my god sir oh you you made everybody. put everybody into uh a sedated state. franklin's brisket by the way may i say. that was my first time eating it. and the [ __ ] hype is real the hype is. real it's beautiful thing. aaron beautiful person beautiful brisket. you're welcome. i'm trying to slow you down slow me down. i'm i'm i'm trying to slow you down a. little bit bring it down to my level i'm. a slow guy i like to move i'm like a sea. turtle. you got a lot of energy though i got a. lot of energy packed up in here.
i watch your show i'm like a sugar. packet i'm a fan of your program i. enjoy what you do cheers hey cheers to. your health to yours. that is a boiling pot of [ __ ] coffee. got me. coffee boys okay. so um the best brisket i've ever had up. until today is. terry black's yeah and franklin's is. just as good. it's not better it is not better it is.
amazing. i don't think there's better i think we. were talking about this better isn't. always best. there's a level of barbecue you just. like holy [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah. and there's quite a few places like that. there's a lot of holy shits there's a. lot of holy shits and i think there's. like ones is holy [ __ ]. franklin is holy [ __ ] holy [ __ ] franklin. makes you want to like [ __ ] your pants. rub your feet. and juicy juicy crispy the barky. the the the the rendered fat within the. molecules. and i only had two pieces but i'm like.
you're sleepy are you don't you we gotta. bring you back you gotta drink some of. your. your hot [ __ ] coffee piss black black. rifle. that's a [ __ ] shout out yeah that's a. shout out. um i just want to ask you a quick. question this is an easy question. okay have you ever listened to my. podcast. i have a podcast called powerful truth. angels no. okay i have a podcast called powerful. truth angels the name's amazing. it's incredible you have a t-shirt i. made it this is our first one we've ever. made. i sharpied it because i was like i'm.
going on like the biggest this is like. this is like the uh what is it the oprah. of podcast. ropra the bro the bropra so i i was just. like i need to wear. a shirt because i have i have a podcast. with my my co-host two tone. and um i just wanted to quickly i know. this is a big podcast it's doing well. it's doing pretty good he's doing well. and so i just wanted to take this chance. to just shout out your own channel shout. out my own show because i just thought. that this is hor. this is uh you know i'm trying i won't. talk about it again but. i want a picture of you with the angel.
wings and maybe some sort of a weapon. yeah like a crossbow bazooka grenade. launcher. grenade launcher flame laser eyes and. maybe some of them. um the old school runners goggles. runner goggles you know those what the. [ __ ] is that guy's name what larry. enticing the bosworth brian bosworth. remember he used to have those goggles. from back in the day terminator goggles. the terminator oh like just like that. little oakley guys yeah like stripes. tactical tactical yeah.
if you were yeah if i was a tactical. person shooting guns in the mountain. range. and i would have those to protect me. because anywhere i looked i would be. protected from the sun. always a perfect pitch in temperature of. color maybe like a. yellow tint no no no no no no no no no. no. is he there steel what was his movie he. was in like a biker movie. he was a famous football player who blew. his shoulder out look at that guy then. he became a movie star for like one. movie. what a handsome bastard though huh oh my.
god look at that. my deck was as nice as that those right. there those goggles. okay dice clay has some of those too. yeah the dice man. but those kind of goggles like you with. those kind of goggles and a. grenade launcher look at the flat top. flat top's great did you ever have a. flat top. i feel you were a flat top guy um like a. little one like a crank cup. crew cut i had a crew cut i never got it. flat though no yeah never truly flat no. it takes a lot to go all the way flat. yeah it's a weird look. the flat top i feel like uh black guys.
can pull it off really well. chris rock had a nice last time. great guy kid and play remember he had. the real big one. that's the biggest one that's the one i. feel that is the one super high top. the super high tops it's so nice but the. uh. you know i'm glad you acknowledged. powerful truth angels are you a graffiti. guy. are you into graffiti i enjoy it if it's. consensual. yes i think there's a problem with. graffiti it's like i have amazing art. that i'm putting on your [ __ ]. building. hey dick don't [ __ ] spray shirt on my.
house. or my building or my alleyway it's an. [ __ ] move it's an [ __ ] move. but sometimes they're super talented. artists yes so my partner. alex on on the podcast he's a he's a. he's an iconic. graffiti writer like og venice. yeah like a og dude from venice and uh. and that's all i want to say graffiti is. uh you know. problematic because you're destroying. property but it is a beautiful art form. yeah if you have like an abandoned. building and someone gives you the green.
light. [ __ ] yeah go do it yeah no i think. there's a lot of really dope graffiti. artists they make amazing stuff. wasn't there an issue where it wasn't. really graffiti it was more of a. mural someone had painted a mural and. then someone bought the building. i think it was in brooklyn and they just. like [ __ ] this and they painted over. and like. and everybody [ __ ] their pants they're. like what the [ __ ]. that was art yeah it was art that was. art you just took down the picasso of. the graffiti but that's the question. right if you buy a building and the. building is covered with beautiful art.
are you. obligated to keep it looking exactly the. same because that doesn't seem very. [ __ ] american. no i think you can do whatever you want. when you buy a building yeah just take a. picture of it and send it to the guy who. made the art. yeah take a picture and ft it treat it. like it's a sand castle. good job but when it rains it's over. it's a wrap me buying the building is. when the rain comes i like the notepad. this is such a nice i really am excited. to be here. i'm excited to have you here you know. and i want to say. when i was a young kid and at the. beginning of the ufc.
uh my family were very into the ufc at. the beginning. and they still are to this day uh but me. and my friends it was amazing my parents. used to we would watch them at the very. beginning like the hoist gracie and the. tanks and the. early [ __ ] like you'd have like a 500. pound sumo guy fighting a karate person. that's 120 pounds. and we used to fight my parents used to. like our all of our parents friends they. would have all the kids and we would. have to. after the ufc we'd all have to fight. each other it was like battle royale. and and me and my two brothers and then.
all of our friends would always be over. there. and we'd have to fight each other after. we were all ramped up my parents would. just be all around drinking having a. good time. watching their kids beat the [ __ ] out of. each other and that seems very canadian. yeah it was nice you know a 10 year old. just fighting like a 16 year old. and you're just like you know after. watching. you know hoist gracie choke hold. somebody i don't know do you. think maybe think that some of that. early head trauma is responsible for. your outrageous behavior. i think there's there yeah there's just. a lot of there's a lot of damage up here.
there's a lot of damage there's a lot of. shakened up i'm like a bag of milk you. know a canadian. there's a lot of stuff inside and wants. to get out but it moves around. i think i've never had as i um. i've never had a black eye in my life. really and never. and i've been in a lot of fights and. i've been punched in the face a million. times. and for some reason i've never had a. black eye that's pretty crazy. it is and i remember one time. uh a new year's eve party i was hammered.
before. you know this is early [ __ ] and and i. got. so drunk and i was so funny and i. started i was like. i want a [ __ ] black guy and i told. everyone at the party. was allowed to punch me in the face as. hard as they could jesus christ and i. was like. line the [ __ ] up you losers and i was i. was like you [ __ ] losers. you [ __ ] losers you guys don't know. how to punch. you can't punch you can't punch me in. the face and i would like [ __ ] [ __ ]. with them and then i'd be like punch me. in the face. and then at the end of the night i had. all these welts all over my face.
but nobody still got me clean in the. face where i got the [ __ ]. black eye wow and i don't know why i'm. just going. i'm just jumping joe we're jumping i'm. fine with jumping. we're gonna jump around for a little bit. and i used to give my friends black eyes. for their birthdays unbeknownst to them. so i would sneak up if it was your. birthday back in the day i would sneak. up and [ __ ] pop you in the [ __ ]. face. and then you get a black eye for me for. your birthday this is what happens when. you grow up in the woods. people get really bored the kids beat.
the [ __ ] out of each other in front of. the parents while they're drunk. you're asking people to punch you you. punch them when they're not asking for. it. what is this no what's happening yes. look at that i almost did a backhand. look at that wow. well the problem is those [ __ ]. headgear they can't see [ __ ] with those. heads i can't see anything. look at that oh my goodness big overhand. to kick to the groin. look at this oh this is just spinning. around like a top look at that. like that oh it looks i think he fell. down see look at that the spin.
kick and the backhand see these kids. these kids. so they should take the [ __ ] headgear. off so they can at least see what. they're doing they should because. they're not hitting hard they should. take everything off there's your bare. knuckle. you can't hit hard enough my son is five. and i swear he could break my nose. well the thing about hitting off like. with the the you could poke some in the. eye. that could be yes that's bad so i don't. think they should take the gloves off. but they definitely should take the. headgear off because. those are like [ __ ] 10-ounce gloves.
these kids weigh 20 pounds. they're not gonna hurt each other that's. like me fighting it now. jesus christ that's how i would fight. that's the guy laughing look at the dude. the dude is the traitor is laughing oh. my god. that's it that's like these kids are. going away. get the [ __ ] up get the [ __ ] up again. one more time. white helmets [ __ ] helmets got some. moves he's got. look at that i like that spin that he. does boom he's got some talent and he's.
shorter. look at that guy white helmet's my guy. wow look at that. that's perfect it's a good time to learn. because you can't hurt each other. and so like you accustomed to getting. hit because if as you get older and. bigger and stronger. faster it's scarier so you're hesitant. and you you don't learn as well. no you don't take in a lot when you're. older and you're stuck in your ways. and you're i'm slower i feel like i'm. slower but i have dad strength now. i feel the dad's strength is real with.
the children i have three kids now and. i'm just like well if your kid's five. it's real. yeah they're little tiny people you. gotta grab them and mac is a thick boy. and i gotta grab him and. he's like i call him a stack of pancakes. he's like he's got a big butt. too and i grab him and i'm like what the. [ __ ] because he gets all ramped up you. know and i got to pick him up shaking. like a bag of potatoes or something do. you make him fight around drunk people. no no i don't we keep everyone no no i. don't i hate drunk people now. it's just like there's some people i'm. yeah when did you get sober. joe joe joe when did i get sober.
that's not a great question guys like. you get so 12. have a wonderful just this year no no. 2000 what's like nine years ago um 2002. two nine years ago in 2002. i knew there was a two jr with the. mathematics. let's go yeah i'm like. two nine years ago 1997. i'm living in the past yeah no like nine.
years ago i had an intervention to stop. the brutality. that i was putting on to myself what. were you doing what was your drug of. choice am i drunk. cocaine. i just wanted i wanted everything i was. a garbage head. i would do mdma i would do shrooms i. would do acid. i would want it all at once i would yeah. everything. whiskey lot of whiskey make me. thirsty i could chug a 26er of whiskey. in like two poles.
really oh yeah that's not a smart thing. to do though right we could agree. no no you drank the second one isn't. smart at like. 7am but the first one at like midnight. when you. do like 10 sh like you would drink at. the end. my drink of choice so my drink of choice. was a pint glass. so a 16 ounce pint full of ice filled. with vodka and three limes. so then i would drink those until i was. feeling like. swirly real swirly so i'd drink like you. know six seven. eight of those then i'd be like let's.
have a beer. crack a beer and i drink like [ __ ] a. lot of those. and then i'd get into the whiskey and. then but. on the second vodka i'd probably do a. couple bumpers. and then i just start bumping and then. i'm bumping and then i'm bagged in. and then i'm deep in the bag you're. hunter s. my bones were outside of my body. and i was like my i was like two people. i was like my skin.
and the muscles and then the bones were. over here and i was like buddy let's do. a bump and then you're talking to your. buddy. and it's just your bones it's your. skeleton so i would want to do. everything i. i'd want to because i started early like. i wanted the first time i did. i started like early 12. yeah like grade. eight was the first time i did acid whoa. which is scary. and my parents like uh i was like 13. yeah like 12 13 13. so like i drank the. first drink i ever had the first. alcoholic beverage i ever had was. southern comfort and.
me and my friend kylie got wasted in. like grade seven secretly. and then i started like smoking some. smokes. stealing you know from the uncle's. drawer steal a pack of carton a little. carton of smokies. and then and then you know yeah just. worked it my way up. wow yeah just work your way up and every. day. uh at the end yeah so like at the by the. end of it. you know like high school party boy you. know like super party boy high school.
like. you know uh fun fun. my house was the hub my house was the. hub my house was the open door policy in. the neighborhood. me and my brothers were like two years. apart so we were like the full crew my. older brother was a psychopath. i was a psychopath my little brother was. a psychopath so we were like the. mathison brothers. and so my house was and my parents are. beautiful. east coast loving food on the table kind. of family. you know not like this like demonic. psycho toxic. they're happy to have everybody coming.
up our place was the place. you know every sunday there'd be you. know football games on and barbecue and. cooking. and but it would just be like you know. everyone was there. yeah and um you know. smoking weed and doing shrooms and acid. and all that. fun stuff you know it was like the seven. like dazed confused you know. and then dark side of the moon nine. years ago in 2002. yeah he just decided he decided that's a.
wrap. no so you know the journey the journey. is so long. you know going to college getting into. like. chef school doing all that stuff chef's. party hard chef's party hard. i learned that from partying with. bourdain yeah i bet he would go so hard. well it's just a maintenance thing and. it's like a constant thing and it's just. like it. you build it up and it's part of the. culture too it well. the thing about it is valhalla we want. you. to we want to take care of you we want.
you to be in heaven. we want you to our idea of hospitality. is that you are 100 taken care of we're. feeding you grapes we're shoving meat. into you. we're shoving you know meat inside of. you we're doing everything. drink drink grapes the felice. you know whatever you need and and i. think like that's. the um and you get caught up you do. you really get caught up because it's. every day where some most people go out. and have a saturday night on saturday.
night we have saturday night. every night um so it is one of those. things. where uh you can get lost. you can get lost in you can get stuck. into it you can get [ __ ]. you you become kind of the the thing the. monster a bit. you know and i am so. obsessed with everybody having a good. time. but sometimes my idea of what a good. time is wasn't really the good time.
you know and and i was so young like. when i. opened my first i was 26 when i opened. my first restaurant. and in 27 when i opened my second one so. when we opened up parts and labor. it was crazy parts of labor was a giant. old warehouse. big 14 person tables like a. hall and we would it was. insane people like food reviewers didn't. know what was happening because we were. young we were cool. we played really loud music and we. served really good food and people just. didn't know.
you know it's like one of those things. where you like tr and it was in a part. of town that wasn't really built up yet. and and it was just like it was chaos. and and my partners were chaos. and we all loved partying and we all. were like. riding this wave and and the wave. sometimes you get [ __ ] barreled and i. think it's this like. but you keep going and you know and and. it is that pressure of. making the best food that you can having. the best experience for those. people that are coming into your.
restaurant and at the same time. partner party excuse me what's happening. over there i'm getting like mucus from. the coffee the coffee's like rattled my. mucuses. um was it like were you wrapped up in. the party because everyone's having a. good time and you want to have a good. time too. was it i was the last guy at the party. kind of thing you know where. it was this like after about two years. at parts and labor. it kind of died the hype died down and. it was you know it was just kind of one.
of those things where it's like every. day we partied. it wasn't like it was and on the days. off all of our staff would party. together. and and it was just like one of those. things so at 29. i'm 39 now so at 29 i had a heart attack. right so i had a heart attack after. about a three day binge no. sleep big [ __ ] work. you know just like 15 years my whole. life of. of being a maniac being a psychopath.
being like. i'll do anything on the table whatever's. on the table i'll do it. no problem no questions asked no like. demons even. i just want to have like literally i. just wanted to [ __ ]. get so [ __ ] up and i didn't even know. why i wanted to get so [ __ ] up. and then um and then the heart attack. happened. and it was like a crazy kind of moment. that was like a crazy thing. because it happened like in my sleep and. i woke up. so it was like after i crashed after.
three days. so i'm at home and i wake up at like. five in the morning and it's after like. a saturday night. shift and i was like i'm done i like. haven't slept in three days i'm just. going to [ __ ] bed. see ya and i go home and i wake up at. like 5. 00 5 30 in the morning and. i'm a big dude so i used to do this. thing like if i was partying like really. hard and i get like palpitations. i would do this thing where i'm like. doing like almost like jumping jacks i. would like.
cough out the palpitations that i would. feel and i thought that was doing well. i don't know if you do that when you're. working out you feel your heart rate. getting to where you feel like your. heart's going to explode. but i used to do this like jumping jack. thing and i'd be like at a party just. shoveling cocaine in my face and i was. going to be like. and like doing this thing and everyone's. like what's he doing and i'm like i'm at. the level now now i'm at like the good. pace. and uh like a [ __ ] goddamn cheetah. and and then i you know.
and then i woke up and i was like i. think i'm gonna have a heart attack. what was it feeling like okay it was. like an uncompromising. vice grip on my heart so it was like. this thing that. was getting tighter and it. wouldn't stop if i moved or anything and. i. would stand up and i was like stretching. and i was doing all these things i was. just like. this is just it's just clenching and. it's getting tighter. and it and it and it hurts like. something i've never and i'm like.
third degree burns cut my tendons off. break my [ __ ] like i. unders i'm covered in tattoos i. understand pain i understand levels of. pain. i understand you know all that kind of. [ __ ]. and i was like this is something i've. never felt before and this is something. that i'm like i know my palpitations i. know like. you know coke boy [ __ ] psycho [ __ ]. and i'm just like this is not that this. is like and i was like trish. take me to the hospital and try she's. like okay yeah. it's go time and i'm like it's happening. it's like we're having a kid i was like. you got your. your drug addict boyfriend like.
overnight hospital bag let's go. like did she anticipate that this was. eventually going to take place. i don't know if you asked her maybe we. were i was so sad. take me to the hospital like if i said. to my wife take me to the hospital yeah. she'd be like why. yeah i would have to explain like i. think i'm having a hard time. what the [ __ ] are you talking about. exactly my i i wore. i wore my my drug use on my cell phone. so she was like. this is not outside of what's possible. let's go she's like you stupid piece of.
[ __ ] let's go hospital. don't die don't die we're like three. blocks away from the hospital though. which is like. shout out to saint joe's so i go to the. hospital and when they take your blood. so i walk in and they're like. into the er like i think i'm gonna have. a heart attack and they're like what. what's happening okay. do you do this do you do this dude and. i'm like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. let's go. let's go i'm having a heart attack here. and they [ __ ]. so they take your bloods your enzymes. change and they find broken glass. they're like there's broken glass. there's elastic bands there's [ __ ].
there's there's tampons they're like. there's just. a million little ziploc bags inside of. me you know i'm like the ocean. i'm the ocean there's that much plastic. inside of me and. and um and they're like you had a heart. attack four hours ago. and i was like yeah and i was kind of. like sick. okay so i had a heart attack four hours. ago and i'm still alive so i'm good. and they're like no you're not good and. i was like okay. so what do we do and they're like we're. gonna bring you to the er and we're. gonna lay you down in a bed and you're.
gonna calm down i was like okay can i. call my parents i. think i need to call my parents and. they're like okay call your parents. and i like went outside like how to. smoke you know like of course. yeah like i just like i'm gonna have a. [ __ ] smoke go outside in the parking. lot i'm like. hey mom dad i don't want to stress you. guys out but i think i had a heart. attack the doctor says i had a heart. attack four hours ago. um i'm walking around right now so i. feel pretty cool. uh but i feel relief you know what. exactly is a heart attack. like what happened so i had my like one.
of my valves just like closed up like. it's a matter of literally. yeah it's seized up and um. yeah just seized up i know what i know. about heart attacks what do you know. richard pryor explaining about his heart. attack. yeah during one of his specials oh my. god that's literally about what i know. about heart attacks that's it prior. him going yeah you weren't thinking. about that [ __ ] when you eat that pork. yeah well that's the thing i don't. remember i. i no i'm old i'm young i know prior.
not that bit though yeah well it's a. good bit classic it's a classic bit. yeah to see it um so what do they do. when you go in for a heart attack do. they give you liquids in an iv. form yeah all of a sudden i get laced up. i get like laced up. i get covered i get all the patches on. me i get the iv. i get the thing i'm in the hospital bed. things start mellowing out. things are clicking and really kind of. settling my adrenaline is going down i. start. you know getting sad start thinking. about life. i put on my headphones put on explosions.
in the sky. and i'm just like it's friday night. lights in my head and i'm just like. start crying. and then i'm not a big crier i'm not a. crier. but in that moment i didn't cry like. when my children were born i didn't cry. i feel like i'm. still there's too many broken pieces. yeah you have a heart attack song that. brings you back to the moment you had a. heart attack. maybe just like explosions in the sky. just like friday night lights the. beginning of friday night lights if i. watch it. yeah if i watch friday night lights for. some reason it like triggers and i'm. just like it makes me just want to party.
really it makes me. hard to make me think of audio slave for. some reason. chris chris cornell i would think like. uh i am the highway you know that song. i am. [Music]. i don't know i'm just expressing myself. jamie i don't. have any understanding i don't know why. the [ __ ] i think like this did he have a. heart attack how did chris cornell he's. suicide suicide yeah that's. sad it is sad the ultimate yeah super. sad.
it's sad but the uh so heart attack. we're in the bed. you're in the bed you're all covered in. electrodes and [ __ ] electrodes and [ __ ]. then i get up to my room and they're. like you have to stay. in the hospital for until your enzymes. flip. your cells or whatever flip back your. white cells or whatever. could take five to ten days i'm like. okay cool whatever. uh because in canada once again shout. out to canada the one. really cool thing healthcare so it's. just like i'm in the hospital for. end up like seven days and.
i get a i got a bill for six dollars. because i had my a phone in my room. so i had like a phone a live whatever a. [ __ ] old school phone. and so i had to pay for the phone line. wow yeah they don't cover that that's. pretty tight. yeah that's nice and so i am in the. hospital. hooked up to everything the guy take my. blood every two hours 24 hours a day. and i'm [ __ ] fat covered in tattoos. so they have to find a vein. yeah it takes for i'm getting it's.
[ __ ] it sucks but. i get out and um. you know i got to think about a lot of. things you know i got to think about. what i'm going to do. i got to think about who i am i got to. think about the scariest thing is like. one of the scariest things is your. identity. my identity was if you came to toronto. you were going to come to parts and. labor and party with me if you were a. chef. if you were like you know a cool. celebrity if you were like a thing. you would come to parts of labor and.
like party you know kind of thing. yeah and i was so fixated on this like. persona. this thing that i'm like this party boy. and it was really scary because i was. just like am i really that you know or. am i really this. genuine like am i this sweet little boy. still like. am i am i this monster that i've kind of. created how do i get back to like this. place of like. sanity how do i get back to this place. of um. just realness like where i can be me.
people. like the fear of people not liking you. is pretty heavy with most people. yeah you know and all of a sudden i was. just like no one's going to like me no. one's it's going to affect my. restaurants it's going to affect my. business. it's going to affect my my my contract. with with. [ __ ] vice because i at the my very. first thing i did with vice. was a show called hangover cures where i. would take a chef and get them as [ __ ]. up as possible. then the next day that chef would have. to cook me a hangover cure and so it was. just like. at the very beginning i was so afraid.
that it was my whole identity was drugs. alcohol it was me and to separate that. and to do the work and to get into. [ __ ] all the [ __ ]. was very scary because it didn't even i. didn't even get sober for two years. after that wow so or a year after. how long after the heart attack do you. start partying again three it took about. three months for me to like spruce my. goose up enough to get nuts. and that is the turning point when i i. where i truly believe that i turned into.
like a [ __ ] full-blooded like addict. because then all of a sudden. i had an out you know i had a safe out. you know i had the. story i had the love of all my friends. we're like maddie we're with you you. know so much beautiful support from. all of my my crew's deep and i was just. like so much good love from my friends. and then all of a sudden i started. hiding going to different places. different bars different little drug. homes i like to call them. you know little travel houses yeah.
little places little little. critter critter little homes is that a. trap house no no. trap house where you dance trap house. [ __ ] checks. what happens in trap houses. you can say it the drunk business. happens the business happens. and then you go to the other house to. use it usually oh okay you don't get. high at the trap house. just business no joe. hey never get high on your own supply.
take crack show the biggie the um. you know i think that's when i really. was getting [ __ ] crazy. and that's when i started turning like. less fun and more of an addict yeah i. got very violent. really yeah like i got i got banned from. our own nightclub. i got banned from like you know i got. walked in on and i was trying to like. rob pretty much this drug dealer i was. like i swung on. like i would be blackout drunk trying to. fight my friends.
and like being like you can't stop like. because people would try to stop me. they would like i would walk into a bar. and like because i'm in the hospitality. group. like you know i'm in the crew so it's. just imagine. imagine like being a comedian and. somebody gets almost like blacklisted. but we still love you. but you can't show up here but we love. you you can do. your comedy like by yourself out in your. car but you can't come in here. right and i'm just like well i want to. still go into the bar i go to the bar. every day the bar is my that's my safe.
place. you know i want i want to go into the. bar like let me in and everyone's like. you're not dying here. you're not dying at my [ __ ] bar so. then i had to start going to these like. deeper darker places and push myself and. and and before when i used to do drugs. i never had to say [ __ ] it in your head. you know when you're about to jump. and you gotta be like [ __ ] it let's go. you know so those moments when you. often have to be like you have to push. yourself i was doing that with drugs. where i'd be like i know now i know that.
i could die. before my ego was like you'll never die. maddie. you're the [ __ ] man but now all of a. sudden my ego. is a little bit shook but my ego still. is like [ __ ] you. you're gonna keep doing this and so i. had to keep doing it and i had to keep. saying [ __ ] you. to myself so every time that i started. doing drugs. i would be like [ __ ] it let's go and. then that was the moment when i was just. like. that's when [ __ ] got dark and so there. was like a year of that.
and then by the last time i ever drank. the last time i ever did any like. [ __ ] anything. was uh you know nine years ago. the weekend of november whatever 12th. and my friend was visiting from. england a chef and we were doing a big. dinner. and i got so [ __ ] drunk. and i i brought i walked in friday. service mid-service. didn't even show up for work took this.
chef out and. and was just like you know didn't tell. anybody i'm just like bringing my buddy. around town. being a host and i show up and all the. partners were sitting at one of the. chef's tables so there was like. in the big kitchen at parts in this. warehouse there was like three chef. tables so. the vips the homies all the people got. to sit in the chef tables. and all the partners were sitting there. and i walked in and they're like. what's up you don't have to show up for. work bro you get to do whatever you want. to do. kind of thing like what the [ __ ] and i.
was just like. what the [ __ ] do you want and i was just. like and i was like what do you want. your restaurant's packed. this [ __ ] look at this i walked out. into the middle of the dining room and i. was like hey. everybody who the [ __ ] is having the. best time ever. and everyone's like and i looked at all. the partners i was like. [ __ ] you these are this is my crew this. is my [ __ ] world. that didn't go well. ego i was such a psychopathic young.
psycho well those two things booze and. coke i mean they are like. accentuated i got a little pee-pee i got. to make it up somewhere you know like. it's. it's it is it's it's so hard to to. to you know fill the void you know and i. just. i found that with that and then you know. the next day. one of my partners was like hey let's. meet for coffee i want to fire you to. your face. i was just like okay yeah fire me you. can't. like i was like what are you gonna do.
with your restaurant bro what are you. gonna do with all your restaurants. i'm the face of your company i'm the guy. and i showed up and uh. he was like meet me here i'll pick you. up we're gonna go for a coffee i was. like okay. let's meet up and i knew that i could. manipulate and talk to him and. you know be like we're cool you know i. won't do it again [ __ ]. yeah yeah just manipulate manipulate. manipulate money. and [ __ ] and uh. he drives me and it's like oh my god he.
pulls up to like my homies house. who's like straight edge vegan warrior. oh boy and i'm just like oh. perfect and then like four of my dudes. come out. and i'm just like okay let's see what. you [ __ ] losers gotta say. you know let's hear what all my best. friends got to say about. me how much you love me and how much you. care about me let's see what you [ __ ]. like losers gotta say. you know like instantly going into like. hating these people that are trying to. like help me.
and uh you know the veils that can come. when you sit down in front of your best. friends. your true your your your true inner. circle. the people you can't lie to the people. that you can't there's no facade there's. no media there's no nothing it's you. and your friends and i sat down and i. listened. for like four hours and um. you know and the next day one of the. guys there. goes to meetings and he's like we're. going to a meeting and so the next day i. walked into a meeting.
and um you know the miracle happened. and i had a meeting yeah what what what. made you. hit the switch you go from is everybody. having a good [ __ ] time to. all right i'm done yeah because i think. the lying. within that four year four hour period. that transitional period. i that was my out i could stop lying. because i was lying. the lying is what really broke me about. whether.
where i was going the people i was. hanging out with lying to trish. another thing i've been with trish for. like 21 years. you know she's a [ __ ] saint she's a. hard-bodied. italian irish woman she's [ __ ] you. know three home births. she doesn't [ __ ] around she likes she's. she's [ __ ] real damn birds. bruh i'll birth the child right now. jamie you got a baby in there. let's go i'll birth you so the [ __ ] i. was like why. isn't trisha here and she's like she's.
out. it's up to you she's got nothing left to. say she's out. it's up to you now and i was like huh. i don't like that and even now like. you know like i feel i can trigger. that feeling of this is real. this is it this is this is a time where. i can stop this is a time where i can. ah i don't i can stop okay i accept you. know i accept.
that i'm i i i have a a chance at not. ever. having to lie i have a chance i don't. have to do that again. you know and uh you know. and then and then a lot of hard work a. lot of years a lot of listening. a lot of taking suggestions and doing. things that other people say. and listening you know a lot of. suggestions. were crucial the way i was living my. life was not. the way i should live my life the. insanity doing things.
repeatedly thinking there's going to be. a different outcome you know. insanity it's just amazing that you went. from [ __ ] everybody. to one meeting and you're like. okay yeah and that was it no more. drinking no more drugs. no no relapses that's it that's it. that's incredible. so you just you hit the shift i hit the. shaft so you kind of knew. you were going to have to get off the. ride eventually well yeah because. the thing is is i'm not not i'm more.
good than bad. in the ego in the drain you know yes i'm. more aware than unaware i'm not a. [ __ ]. idiot right i have a nice life i love my. parents. i love my family i love myself. yeah you know i have a lot of things to. live for. and you know that was the thing where it. was just like am i gonna be. you know a loser right am i gonna be am. i gonna not have a job. am i not gonna like i i don't come from.
money. am i i'm not going to be taken care of. there's no one to take care of me. right i need to like figure my [ __ ] out. that was. that was a good run you know i i was. i was call it high school college. [ __ ]. my entire career everything i wanted to. do perfect. i got to do everything my way and it. ended up here. almost dead friendless jobless [ __ ]. from the most popular cool dude you know. in my head.
to an almost dead guy to an almost dead. guy that that that nobody actually. really liked anymore too. because i saw you know i wouldn't shower. i was a psychopath wear the same clothes. every day just like. ah like maniac so it's just like nobody. wants to be around that guy so how did. you deal with the shift in your identity. because like this is that's an issue for. a lot of people when they stop doing. something. it's a big issue for fighters when. fighters retire from the sport. their identity is wrapped up in fight. that's why so many fighters make. ill-advised comebacks later in their.
life. um what did you do about your identity. like how did you. release this hold that you had on this. idea that you're this party animal. and that that was why you were that was. part of who you were well i think. the thing that helped me truly was make. shifting from a chef. it was at that perfect moment shifting. from one career to another. i was a chef i was a chef like i was i. only cared about chefs i didn't care. about tv. [ __ ] you [ __ ] anybody on tv bourdain's. you know. cool but [ __ ] everybody you know like i.
was like the punk. chef guy whereas like being on tv is for. kooks like. oh yeah you're gonna have [ __ ] food. network go [ __ ] yourself right you're. [ __ ] losers. or sell out yeah [ __ ] yeah that whole. thing. and then and then vice at the exact same. moment. was doing a lot of food content and so. was i and so. all of a sudden that was that thing. where all of a sudden i could leave that. chef persona behind all of a sudden i'm. just in front of a camera.
and all of a sudden the the the feelings. i was getting. wasn't from real people it was actually. from like you know comments and like. being like oh people [ __ ] with me. i can i can make content and people it. makes people happy. it [ __ ] you know people [ __ ] with what. i'm doing yeah. and all of a sudden i was just like that. really helped. me just be able to be myself i took. myself. out of i made a lot of different rules. even. where i wouldn't be in the restaurant. past 10 o'clock.
so i would never even finish service so. service would finish at 11. but it was triggering for me for the. first year. so like i would that's when everybody. partied well at clean like okay. you know uh we're last hour big push. we're going [ __ ] down. let's [ __ ] amp it up big like finish. [ __ ] strong [ __ ]. and then we scrub down and as soon as we. scrub down everyone gets a beer. saturday night i would buy whatever. cocaine for everybody whoever wants it. here's cocaine here's beers let's go. [ __ ] party boys you know.
and uh you know all of a sudden i didn't. have a crew. so did the other people stop partying as. well. um a lot of my a lot of my cooks did. there was really there was a lot of solo. at the beginning there's a lot of. solidarity. oh that's cool and and we it was an. interesting thing because. also i'm kind of the last of this like. you know bro chef [ __ ] like psychopathic. dudes that like i'm like i was tattooed. because i was punk not because i was a. chef. you know i think all of a sudden there's.
like all these like cool chef bros. but i was like i was like a hard-bodied. like french trained chef. and [ __ ] you know now. everyone's running and jogging and. running. i don't think people like saying jogging. but you know everyone's like being like. active. and eating well and doing meditation and. all this stuff so i was like my crew was. like a transitional time too. right within the last 10 years within. the last you know. seven to five years was a big transition.
and just the mentality of chefs. to be like instead of like eating. chocolate bars and smoking cigarettes. and. getting drunk and [ __ ] up every day. we're gonna meditate. jog or run and work out and be peaceful. and like talk about like different books. that help us and check in on each other. and all of a sudden there was like this. big transition with me. and our team and all that kind of stuff. too even more so. now it's a full like thing across our. whole company about all that kind of.
stuff but. you know there was like it was one of. those things where we were just like it. was kind of like maybe they were hiding. it from me but there was definitely like. we wouldn't drink at work anymore you. know like nobody would drink online. uh nobody out of respect for you yeah. like it was like a thing like we got you. chef that's nice yeah like. well it's like that thing where it's. just like you know maybe they were doing. all the drugs and partying. to like people please me you know maybe. they didn't want to go as hard as i was. pushing. everyone to be like let's [ __ ] go we. cook hard we [ __ ] show up for work.
and we [ __ ] party till 6 a.m and then. we're at work by 11 a.m. you know like that's not a sustainable. anything no that's not sustainable. and i did that every day you know like i. did that you know five six days a week. for 15 years you know like i i went to. bed at. my bedtime like when trish would start. blowing my phone up. was like 601. so like my bed like i had. to be home by six. because then she would be like okay now. you're getting like crispy. you know from that six a.m to like 8 a.m.
is when you're like. calling the drug dealer for the 15th. time and you're doing like the crispy. [ __ ] then. so like my bedtime was like 6 a.m so. then i'd go home sleep. from six to like 10 30 and then go to. work. four hours yeah bro just a [ __ ] that. alone. heart attack yeah i guess so drink a lot. of water though. well that's good but. yeah shout out to water i like how that. cancels things out i drink water. yay but yeah like it is that's i asked.
him earlier do you take vitamins he's. like no i took a lot of water though. one booger a day one booger a day just. to make sure the immune system. yeah the immune system's rocking so one. booger a day and then. and then just [ __ ] 16 liters of uh. h2o. well it's good to drink water i agree. with that we can find common ground. that's our common ground drinking water. yeah water's good for you i like that. joey. you need more than four hours sleep but. that's just my point now i go to bed at. 9 30. and wake up at like six oh well that's. great yeah.
yeah that's really i'm like at 9 30 10. o'clock latest guys. wow so you're getting a solid you know. nine-ish eight-nine. yeah yeah tuck in i got my sleep apnea. mask. do you have the cpap machine yeah i got. a cpap machine but then i don't use it. half the time. it's too gnarly you get i get up to pee. like five times a night because i'm such. a great water drinker. yeah so then you know um yeah. putting the machine back on at like 4am. it's not good. yeah but i sleep good i sleep good i'm. happy you know.
joe this is a heavy story man but i love. the fact that you realized like when. your friends were all like you were like. [ __ ] what the [ __ ] you gonna say. and then you're like oh i really that is. really it. well it says like you take the you put. so many veils on. you lie you lie you cheat you [ __ ] do. everything that you need to do to get. whatever you need. because you want it because you're. trying to avoid it because the void. filling yeah you know you're. i need it i deserve it [ __ ] the world. why why do why does he have that. i want that [ __ ] i'm not even gonna do.
anything i'm just gonna go do coke with. somebody i don't know for six hours. you know like it's just like what is. that and then when you're with your real. friends. and they're really being sweet and. they're telling you like the real [ __ ]. and you and you just take off the facade. and you take off the facade and then. eventually you're like. there you are there you are peter you. know hook the movie robin williams great. film. and they're like there you are peter. but yeah i mean like it's a [ __ ]. messy man it's. messy to be a person and it is and you.
can get. wrapped up in that kind of partying yeah. you know especially if you're involved. in something like you were involved with. where. you are entertaining right that's part. of what you're doing is like you're. you're the beast and then i became the. gesture yeah you know. and then you become like that's the. thing is like the party's over and you. become the fool. yeah you know and and it's like that's. the thing is like now. i just want to have a thing like i just. want my life to be. normal yeah you know i just want to have. my i want to go to work. monday to friday i want to have weekends.
with my family. and that's it you know like i wanted. because you got the best of both worlds. like you. had the experiences that you could talk. about and you have these. you have the chaos in your past ah but. yet you still are having a good time. best time yeah i can't i i i the best. time. this is like and that's the thing is. like my identity. is now i am me you know and it's like i. finally get to just be. be yourself be myself and i'm like i'm. i'm a weird. loudmouth kind of [ __ ] spazz yeah and.
it's just like. and i you know i i i got mad atd and i. just want to [ __ ] like. grab you and like i really want to feel. your muscles right now that's all i'm. thinking about really i want to be like. i want to feel his traps. or his biceps i want to just grab it and. like like but that's my head. right and then i'm like talking about. this vulnerable [ __ ] and. i'm just like i'm going to grab his. bicep in like two more hours. but it's just like i think you know but. i i get to be me. i get to get a dm from you being like. hey come on the show and i'm like. what world am i living in you know and.
i'm just like. i'm i'm like still my brain is like i. live on a farm in. ridgeway ontario you know i'm like i'm. out here with my kids and it's just like. i'm so disconnected actually from. yeah should we say how you do it how you. get over here or should we not say that. yeah yeah no no everything is cool no no. no no everything's cool yeah yeah. you can talk about it because canada is. [ __ ] right now. canada's juiced they're so locked down.
and i don't understand why they think. that's good. i don't understand why they think that's. the solution yeah you know. i mean we're dealing with an america in. weird spots right like america has. states and each state has a different. approach. and florida's got one approach. california has another opposite side of. the country. like literally polar opposite sides of. the ideologies. and florida's doing [ __ ] way better i. was just in florida. and it's like nothing's happening like. maybe you'll get sick. maybe you won't but we're out here with. no mass on 15. 000 people in the [ __ ] arena for the.
ufc fights it was madness it's crazy it. was powerful it was really good. but i'm like hey guys take your vitamin. d sleep drink water. let's go that's great oh let's leave it. you can't do canada you can't do what. you're doing where you have [ __ ]. gestapo. pulling people over for your papers why. are you out why are you out of the house. they're doing a lot there's a cold. floating around why you out of the house. there is there's a lot of um you know. overreaction. there's a lot of overreaction there's a. government like. you know shout out to doug ford you're a.
piece of [ __ ] you know he's the brother. the guy that died he was my favorite he. would dude he was my hero. i was like that's the way there's so. many people uh uh rob. rob ford you know rest in peace dude rob. ford. but it's just like that's the guy i'm. like that's the guy i wanted to party. with i was like i want to party. i want to do crack and like smoke crack. with that guy and remember when he was. coked up talking about how he was like. mike tyson and he knocked the. [ __ ] out. i was like yeah it's that is such coke. talk he has. he didn't even have big forearms he.
couldn't knock anybody out he was just. like a big jellybean. that's it shoulders what's it what is it. i think more shoulders. more shoulder than forearms yeah tommy. hearns had big shoulders he didn't. really have big forearms oh well they. were from. relatively large i'm getting hot joe. getting hot show that shirt bro powerful. truth angels. i mean i i just stenciled drawing one. pencil i guarantee you someone listening. to this show is going to create you some. fine art. that will represent this podcast when. did you start the podcast. um you have the aco the uh big dog. sweating.
well this coffee this is this what is it. what's it called black rifle black rifle. coffee let me tell you something this. this thing is [ __ ] legit coffee she's. making my foreskin [ __ ] wrinkle up. evan hay from matt best hey god bless. this coffee yeah the podcast we started. the podcast me and two tone. uh i don't know like two years ago. how often are you doing the youtube. shows okay so the youtube shows. are great we're doing i have like three. different little studios now.
and i'm doing when i get back from this. trip i'm gonna start doing a weekly. a new cooking show and just a dash is. like i've only made like 24 episodes. that's expensive. you know i pay all my dudes like well. and. that is expensive to do just a dash. we're trying to figure out some funding. and what's the difference between i. don't know what the names of any of them. are i just find you. yeah and then i watch your videos i love. that's okay i love watching cooking. videos. as weird as that sounds i've oh i don't. like cooking television shows. for the most part other than bourdain.
i i really got into him with bourdain. and i'm like okay no i don't really like. cooking. person shows like i don't care where you. come from what your story is [ __ ]. tell me. he was you know uh yeah he was people's. peoples. he was a very unusual dude i really. enjoyed hanging out with him i can. imagine. i was so afraid of meeting him me too i. was and i never did and i'm happy that i. because i was never met him i never met. him and i even. anytime he came to toronto i would make. sure that i didn't go because. i don't know i was just i was like i'm.
gonna [ __ ]. ruin it yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna walk up. there and be like hey. tony let's do a bag of you know i. wouldn't have done the thing that he. makes fun of. exactly because i was too young and too. [ __ ] psycho. and two into medium yeah where i was. just like i can't meet him because i'll. [ __ ] kook it. yeah i was uh i got a super. like star struck when i met him don't. have a few people does it happen often. not that often right now occasionally a. little bit. yeah occasionally like if i meet a rock.
star like when i met stephen tyler i was. like i can't believe that's really him. david lee roth weirded me out. i was like this is really daily that's. him his face but he's so. [ __ ] cool he's so easy to hang with. you know david lee roth doesn't even. have a phone. like he has a lady that is like his. handler. and uh you have to contact the lady yeah. and the lady will drop dave off and she. will say let me know if there's anything. wrong or. you need like it's like a baby it's. crazy like dave did. i don't even know if he had a wallet i. paid for dinner i don't know if he had a. wallet. he just there's no way he hangs he.
doesn't he just hangs. and he's that's a good vibe though but. he's the nicest most easy going. he's always laughing yeah and i was like. because when i was a kid. my sister's boyfriend had a van halen. license plate right like v-h-n h-l-n or. something like that like we were van. halen fanatics in high school. so for uh you know from running with the. devil to like all of a sudden i'm. hanging out with david lee roth like. dude it's just it was too strange. there's some gods it's very strange. but meeting board game was an odd one.
and then becoming his friend. was an odd one and like a text each i'd. text him about stuff and ask him. questions like if i was going to a play. like i went to japan. yeah i was like where are the best sushi. places he gave me like. some chat he would always give me like. detailed suggestions of where to go and. this is the spot. to go there and yeah and i ate with him. a gang of times because his. uh ex-wife was a a ufc fanatic. and so i met him at the ufc she was. she's a beast she's really talented um.
you know just really cool. period but uh so she was really into the. ufc and then. he got really into the ufc too and so he. started coming to some of the ufc's. came to some of my comedy shows we hung. out we came buddies i did his television. show. and then you know where did you do is. which one what you had pheasant hunting. in montana that's nice and that's when i. realized how hard he goes. yeah because we were out there in the. middle of the woods camping and this. just pounding i brought i brought a vape. pen we're getting blasted on weed and.
he just kept drinking kept going i'm. like you can drink it forever. like that's the thing is i could drink. forever yeah i could drink. like forever you know just days. like not stopping and i think it's just. like that's the thing is you just. you can't stop because then that's when. it the machine breaks down you know. well that is the thing about alcohol too. right you got to keep it lubed. well no the alcohol and benzos and. alcohol the only thing that really. or one of the rare things really kill. you if you jump off them that's what.
they say about amy winehouse. right right she died from withdrawals. yeah yeah yeah this is. benzodiazepines and and alcohol. apparently the. most common for people to die from. withdrawal like. a heroin apparently just makes you. really sick and you feel. like [ __ ] but it doesn't kill you no. it's when you start it that's what. doesn't always kill you yeah like that's. the thing it's it's so scary. and that's a thing too i think most. people like if i do stop there's. repercussions too what happened when you. did stop. nothing killed it.
yeah i did cold turkey i wasn't i wasn't. doing opiates i wasn't doing anything. yeah it was just alcohol but alcohol. alone i i just. i don't know i didn't get the dt's no i. i. was just kind of like i'm like a [ __ ]. giant baby moose. you know like i was just like i'm like i. don't know i broke my foot literally in. like four places like. six weeks ago and i'm just i had a cast. on and everything i'm walking around. like a [ __ ] freak and i'm just like. i don't know it's like one of those. things i feel like i heal differently or. something like i just i'm just like.
maybe if you lost weight you'd be a real. athlete. well if i let me tell you something tell. me something please let me tell you. something about losing weight yeah big. man. okay one day i'm going to get there why. don't you go with action bronson. go party with that dude bronson is is. such a. impressive [ __ ] out of me he he's he's. he's uh. he did it he did the damn thing he's 130. so far and he's going to keep going. so he's going to lose well now he's. going to tune you know like that's the. thing is like. it's so sweet truly like he.
he he gave me a call we've had our. differences over the years and stuff. like that. and then he gave him a squabble we we. had like small squabbles. we had some squabs but i think it was. just like. uh you know two too many cooks in the. kitchen with vice and i think it was. just like there's a lot of different. little things you know. and uh but he gave me a shout and i was. wat like it was crazy like he started. popping up and i was just like. he's doing it and i was just like he's. [ __ ] doing it and i think it's like.
uh you know it's v like i even hit him. up like. uh when his book came out i like hit him. up and i was just like hey man like. we have the same publisher too and i was. just like congratulations on public. location day like you know. third book big one and this one's like. meaningful you know. sure your other books are but i was like. this one's like a real one you know. and uh you know it's just very inspiring. but. i think the thing so this is attic brain. ego. now during the pandemic i had to figure. out how to take care of my family.
so i've been trying to figure out and. these are excuses. how to figure out how to truly take care. of my family because when the pandemic. hit. i was only playing defense with my work. i was flying around the world just. getting checks. collecting checks matty madison come. here to australia matt madison come here. come here come here come here pandemic. hit i had. you know six months of booked out travel. paid [ __ ] dialed like here's my year. half a year gone instantly then. lost you know a lot of stuff i had to.
and then i was just like wait i'm a. [ __ ] tool i'm a gadget. there's no way that this is [ __ ]. going down like this so i had to figure. out how to make my own money and so then. that's when i transitioned back into. restaurants. so with maker pizza i was just a. consultant. now i'm a partner but at for the last. five years i was just a consultant. so i was like i don't even have a. [ __ ] restaurant i'm the chef. traveling around the world being a chef.
i'm not a chef. a chef isn't a [ __ ] md you're not a. [ __ ] doctor. a chef is a person that trains other. cooks how to [ __ ] cook. if you're in front of your team you're a. chef if you walk outside. i don't believe you like you're not a. chef you're just a person you know chefs. aren't these. [ __ ] monolithic things i have to be. in action. yeah i i strongly believe that like if. you were in a kitchen you're a chef if. you are. leading a team teaching them how to cut. better sharpen their knives. cut vegetables take care of things build.
stocks build dishes. understand the ergonomics of a dish then. you're a chef but i i was just like. i'm not anything now because i'm i'm. only as good as my last paycheck. right so i'm just like there's no more. paychecks so. i had to was like you know i had some. restaurant partners. and i was like we're going to activate. we're going to build out some things. we're going to build up some concepts. we're going to start doing some [ __ ] and. we went into action and we started doing. those things.
and it's taken up a lot of time and a. lot of mental capacity. and and i believe after this foot. breaking. that i truly i have this gym that i've. built in my barn. and it's a great gym i got the trx i got. squat racks i got the kettlebells i got. the [ __ ] balls. i got the [ __ ] bands i got all this. [ __ ] in my barn. and you know i just got out of my boot. like uh. two weeks ago and my main concern. shortly is going to be that next level.
because it's just like right now i had. to figure out you know i'm not the rock. you know 5 a.m wake up i got my reg to. build a new routine that. i've never had a routine i've been a fat. kind of kid my whole life. you know i played sports in high school. [ __ ] lacrosse and [ __ ] but it was. like never like um. i was never like an athlete athlete you. know i was always like a fatter i was. like the fat brother my brother abs big. dick way to go steve. my younger brother like bigger than me. [ __ ] massive. strong [ __ ] 20 000 steps a day.
psycho pack. concrete backpack walking around the. [ __ ] neighborhood like a psychopath. my brother is [ __ ] ripped me i was. always a fat kid so i always have that. ego too. where i [ __ ] [ __ ] them they just. their dna is better than mine. so i fought with you know being the fat. kid. fought with being this you know whatever. it just being this shape you know and. now. i've built to a level where i feel. comfortable. with my team that i can start focusing.
my energy and time. more on you know my physical self which. will help my mental self. which will now help everything else so i. think i'm trying to like. build my own swiss clock of my madi. world. and right now i had to set up a. financial foundation. of businesses which i have and now i'm. going and i have my home with my family. taken care of. and now i can kind of tend start tending. to maddie a little bit. does that make sense yes long.
journey of words to get to you're going. to lose weight. yeah joe i guess joe you know i. worked out a day in my like look at. these pumps i got pump ups. you wanna arm wrestle what are you like. what do you i think i need to. you know joe i would like to lose weight. but i also think it's like [ __ ] i know. that my cardiologist. my cardiologist i don't have high blood. pressure i don't have high cholesterol. that's amazing it's incredible i don't. understand it and my cardiologist was.
like i'm the best cardiologist in the. country. you don't need that but it's canada yeah. yeah okay what does it even mean. they're [ __ ] they're getting slave. labor no they don't get penalties. hundreds of millions they get loonies. they're hundreds of millions of loonies. they she definitely has a range rover. she's doing fine. you know and yeah dude when i. it was so funny the the thing about. healthcare in america versus canada. perfect example i break my foot in la i. break my foot in la i.
break three metatarsals on the top of my. foot how'd you break it. slipped off a curb and i like. my foot got stuck almost like on the. curb and i like the way that i. compressed or fell. it like snapped the three metatarsals so. i was like yeah. because in la the curbs are high because. of the water like in canada our curbs. are shorter. so my my my agility my agility we have. great drainage. sandy soil and my [ __ ] my.
my i was like literally it was the. stupidest thing i fell down like a baby. i was like a turtle laying in the middle. of [ __ ] melrose i was like melrose. and myrtle. and i was like at my homie you do not. want to be hurt on melrose these days. either. no it's like a mad max movie dude it's. crazy out there right now isn't it weird. dude i was i did a photo i'm doing this. thing and i had to do a photo shoot they. wanted to do it. just on hollywood belt boulevard yeah. and i was just like. yeah let's go let's do it it was just it. was like. you might as well be on skid row yeah it.
it it's there but it's. [ __ ] whatever so you broke your foot. so i broke my foot joe so this. all this gym that you have set up you. haven't used it but you set it up it's. the beef barn. are you gonna get a trainer that's what. you should do so i have i have some. i have so many beautiful people around. me so many knowledgeable people around. me. and that's the thing i'm friends with. like because of like pat from like ruka. and like i've have access to so many. amazing athletes now that like they're.
all like let us know. any time and uh you know i just gotta i. gotta mentally get to that place. just do it listen all this jabber jabba. jabber do you have her. jabbering too much about it i know this. is the same thing i said it was excuses. joe. i know i know you did say it i said it. i'll excuse you all day. i know you will i i think we can help. you i think we can make this push happen. okay you're gonna produce. i wanna do a a movie no okay. i'm busy i'm busy i'm not producing any.
movies. don't produce a movie i'm not doing i'm. just going to do work anytime anybody. says. i want to do something no i'm not doing. [ __ ] hunt. dodging more than i'm already doing what. i'm doing it's a perfect amount of. things. what i'm doing i have three jobs i don't. need any more things. three jobs is a lot that's a lot of. stuff it's a lot of stuff one of them is. pretty easy. yeah you know which one's the easy one. ufc ufc is the easy one that's pretty. easy. because i just have to watch fights is. there any kind of like um. the prep or like you you know everybody.
watching fights. there's too many fighters now i can't. know everybody so what i do is. leading up to fights now i'll watch. everybody that's on the card i'll watch. some. some event they've been in maybe. something so you have something to talk. about. yeah they're punches or something i want. to be able to watch like maybe they have. a tendency. maybe they have something that they're. really good at and something like some. guys like uh. alexi olynyk he's like a really good. grappler but not. the best striker like more plotting. right you like some so you see. oh he's fighting this guy this gets very. light on his feet it's going to be a.
problem. i think i sort of pieced together what i. think would be like. situations that could possibly occur in. a fight and what to look for. and that ufc that just happened whoo. special ufc right am i crazy so that was. just a special ufc it was special. in every in every way yeah it was. special in that it had been a year since. we had a full crowd. and so literally the first fight these. two girls were uh. getting ready to walk to the octagon the. lights went down. and it was probably only like 25.
capacity at that time they hadn't all. showed up yet. because it was early it was like first. fight was like 6 p.m right. um as soon as the lights went down. everybody. went [ __ ] mad house. i took my headphones off and i looked. around and. we were like whoa and me and john and. daniel cormier. look at each other like boys this is. crazy and we took a photo there's a. photo that's on my instagram of uh. john anik megan o'leavy me and daniel.
cormier right before the fight started. we were so happy we're like beaming. it was just like it felt so great. because. we had been calling fights over the past. year but we had been doing it. uh with no audience at the apex center. like there we were so. happy there yeah like look at megan look. at that smile. we were so happy it's just you know. that's the pay-per-view. crew and we and also we could do this we. could hug each other. and when we did the the pre-fight stuff.
we're talking about the bouts that are. coming up we're standing next to each. other because before. at the apec center we were like. separated and. i couldn't interview the fighters inside. the octagon it was all so. weird yeah so you go from that to. florida that florida's like. covet is oh. but i think their approach is healthier. than california that acts like it's a. demon. and you have to be protected by the. governor right you know like in this. this [ __ ] guy who doesn't protect.
himself. doesn't even follow the rules the guy. who gets busted eating at the french. laundry. indoors you know and lies about we were. he was outdoors. teddy cruz [ __ ] going to mexico. a little cancun. bruh yeah but that's not that bad yeah. that guy was just trying to get away. because the [ __ ] state was frozen. yeah like i get it maybe he should. suffer with everybody else you should. have suffered a little bit but. that's maybe not bad yeah it's not as. bad as telling people not to eat. outside or not to eat indoors and you.
eat indoors. wear a mask in between bites of food he. was telling people to do that. so it's like california's approach is. way worse than florida's approach. and florida's approach is way better. than canada's approach too. canada's approach is ridiculous they're. arresting people for going to church. there's 200 cops showing up that thing. was crazy that's interesting. it is like it's so sad because there's. just like what do we do like. we're it's so tough because we are. like we want to take care of our staff. at our businesses.
and we want to like no one goes into our. buildings. like no one like we all wear our masks. we do everything that we can do. and it's just like for how long and for. how long do we have to do this for. for if you're a government then show us. the real plan. of getting to that place that's not what. they're there for. they've never been there for telling you. whether or not you can work. you know why because they don't lose any. money that money keeps going. it doesn't have any effect on them. whatsoever it doesn't have any effect on.
them whatsoever. if everyone's out of work if everyone's. business crumples they get the exact. same amount in their paycheck. that's what's happening in california. right you know and this is like the. difference between unfortunately because. i'm. liberal but there's a difference between. the way republican. states handle things versus democrat. states democrat states just lock. everyone down. we have to protect you you can't go. anywhere you can't open up you can't do. this. and florida was the most reasonable. believe it or not. when this is how you know the world. we're living in the upside down where.
everybody's like florida is great. they should everyone should just do what. florida's doing then that's rock florida. was a joke. florida was a choke just two years ago. nobody wanted to be in florida you know. i just don't want to it. it's one of those things i'm still such. a like um. you know i do want to just do the nicest. thing like in my mind i'm like. what's the easiest nicest thing and i. just wanna like if we're just gonna wear. masks and wear masks. i don't know like that's the thing is. like i am a little bit just like i want. to make sure. people are safe locking i don't think.
locking down does anything. it's worse it makes things worse because. people go inside. they go inside they're trapped inside. and that's not good for people. that's where it spreads and i just don't. think it's good for humans it's not good. for your mental health and that's not. good. that's not good for your immune system. and you know again. there's no [ __ ] instruction on. telling people how to get healthier. because that's what's significant. the only thing they've done is given us. a [ __ ] mask so if all we've given a. mask is. i'm like it it's one of those things. where it's just like.
if you go out of your house then the. variable is there. it doesn't matter how many interactions. or how many things if you've chosen to. leave your house and. leave a quarantine situation then that's. your decision to [ __ ] rock. and i just think it's just like the. thing about it is. is is we just don't it's still. so early and it's so stupid and it's. [ __ ] up and you've got to give people. personal freedom. you can't take that away from them. because then you're not you're not what. we signed up for what we signed up for. is elective.
elected officials who represent the. people. you're not supposed to run the people. and tell the people they can't work. and if you're saying you're doing it to. protect them and it turns out. not only does it not protect them but. it's less effective than letting them be. free. and you don't course correct and you. don't adjust then you're a piece of [ __ ]. and we have to take you out of office. and that's what's happening in. california. right that's why they're recalling the. governor in california are they getting. them out of there. they're recalling them out of there. there's good there's another election. he'll probably people are eating inside.
again now. they are now because he's being recalled. he opened everything up. he's like he listen he's like everybody. wants it like it's not showing the covid. science anymore right they're not. showing the numbers anymore. because the numbers wouldn't be enough. to indicate that they should. open everything back up again right but. when the governor's getting recalled. he's got to turn the [ __ ] economy. around. that's when things change i just don't. understand them man i don't understand. them. because it doesn't make sense what was. the tipping point for you to be like i'm. moving my family. like i'm moving the thing like i saw.
where it was going yeah i was like. they're telling us. first of all they told us we're gonna. lock down for two weeks yeah and i'm. like well that's really reasonable. everybody will stay home for two weeks. right but then after two weeks it's like. we're going to keep going and then it. kept going it just kept going and. nothing ever opened and then they were. saying you can't go outside without a. mask which didn't make any sense because. ultraviolet rays kill covet right like. it doesn't make any sense you you. shouldn't be able to run. outside without a mask on like you. you're you're treating it like it's a. demon you're not treated like it's a.
virus. right and then it's just i saw how other. states were handling it i'm like well. they're much more reasonable. they believe in personal freedom and. they also take into account the fact. that people have businesses. you can't just let people's business go. under because you tell them they can't. work. you got to give people the option people. need to decide for themselves and then. once we got the numbers in in terms of. like. what the disease was actually doing. right unfortunately. maddie 78 of the people that are in the. hospital from covet are overweight. that's the number one thing right the.
number one morbidity factor. is obesity it's number one they don't. say [ __ ] about that because they don't. want to understand. isn't everybody obese no not everyone oh. there's a lot of people that are not. obese. okay the other you know thirty percent. yeah. okay well thirty percent twenty eight. twenty percent it's not a lot of people. telling people to lose weight and be. healthy and but they are telling you to. stay home and be scared. to be home and be scared thing is is not.
good the internet's not good the [ __ ]. doom scrolling is not good the mental. health is a. real like the sadness the cloud of. sadness oh my god the suicides. it it the the cloud of sadness is not. great. and it and it's not if. yeah there's a lot of and there's a lot. of president. times we're just in unprecedented times. we're in unprecedented times and there's. a bunch of different ways to handle it. but the thing that drives me crazy and. it drove me crazy and got me out of. california was i was looking at the way. some states were handling it and i was.
like that makes more sense and i was. looking at how california. you're representing it the way you want. to live well they were doing it in a. more effective way because their case. numbers were lower. but they had more freedom and the. economies were way better in those. states. so even though people were catching. covet everywhere every [ __ ] state had. coveted right. in the states where they were open the. businesses were staying open. and there wasn't a significant. difference in terms of like. these states the businesses are open but. look way more people are dying. that wasn't the case yeah in fact. florida has less deaths.
let's go florida they have less deaths. they have less covet and they have more. old people. it doesn't make any sense if you look at. it statistically but they have. hot weather and they have sun and so. they're outside they got the uv. the sun and it's better for you for. vitamin d as well. it's [ __ ] huge it's a hormone man i. love it it's like suntan. i like sun tanning well that's. guaranteed that's good for you do you. like sun tanning do you sun tan. i go outside you go outside sun. like jogging i feel like if i lay down. i'm sleeping yeah yeah.
you only lay down when you sleep yeah. incredible. i don't know where to go from there i'm. just like that's it. oh my god the good thing is i can sleep. anywhere i could sleep on a moving train. i'll just. lie down i can fall asleep instantly. anywhere but maybe that's just because. of the. the gravity pulling my soul the um. but i'm saying i don't suntan no no no i. like to suntan when i garden. if i go to the like if i'm on vacation.
i'm at the beach i'll have a couple of. margaritas where does joe. hawaii that's my favorite place which. island i like all of them but i like. lanai because no one's there right and. you can bow hunt. at night so you know what we do night. vision no. no no not at night in the afternoon okay. because uh it's windier. then it's okay it's easier because. you're sneaking up on these. they ruffle your noise yes yes the axis. deer are super [ __ ] tuned in because. they evolved to get away from tigers.
yes they're the fastest deer i've ever. seen in my life access deers is the ones. where you went hunting. with the man-eater guy or the meat-eater. no no no no no. that's steve varnella yeah i didn't go. hunting for axis deer with him. no no no i've been hunting with him. before for white-tailed deer. okay where was the one when you were in. like a mountain range like a little. mountain like a hilly kind of almost. looked like deserty. i watched. no that was mule deer mule deer yeah. axis deer. are there's they're they're roaming. around texas the ones that didn't die.
from the freeze off right. like i know a guy whose friend owns a. ranch set and he had 2. 000 access to here freeze to death wow. it just. stacks of deer 2 000 that's like a. concert full of deer yeah. that's a big that's a lot of dead deer. you just put that in a freezer and then. you butcher them up i don't know how. they handled it. i i imagine that i hope so i would hope. so too because access deer are really. delicious. but anyway lanai's great because we. would go and you could stay at the four. seasons. and then in the late afternoon you go on. bow hunt.
we just do it in the morning the thing. about it in the morning is like it's so. quiet. in the morning it's it's i hear you yeah. i've been telling you even though you're. stealthy. i bet you're stealthy yeah you have to. be you take your shoes on your toes you. take your shoes off. how nice is the first time i went to i. went to oahu. the the grass on the feet was so nice it. is nice. and um the uh i i still want to do uh. some wild boar hunting there. i really really wanted to go wild boar. hunting here's the spot right here all. sun. john hennessey that dude who was here. earlier yeah john hess he was telling me.
that between houston. and i forgot what other spot it's. apparently like this. insane wild boar area where they they. mostly hunt them. uh night with night vision goggles and. rifles dude i remember. my my dad had a [ __ ] a vhs. vhs tape called ferocious tuskers. and it was a it was a bowie knife wild. boar hunting. video the dogs or the dogs the dogs like. they would like climb into like. their their burrows or whatever they're. dens or whatever.
and it was this like it was so scary it. was like there's like a bunch of like. little freaks running around but it was. like a vhs tape that we used to watch it. was like the wildest thing. but i think like the man cooking that i. cooked a wild boar. over some coals for a bunch of surfers. and it was like. incredible like cooking right on the. like pipeline. we should do something we'll film. something like that for your show i. don't do stuff i don't do stuff i'm busy. i have six jobs i have six jobs that's. what you just said. what do you mean you just asked me to do. something for your show.
okay i said for your show okay for my. show that's what i said okay. i thought you wanted to know you wanted. to give me a new show i think he said. for our show no no no for your show. joe and maddie no you have a cooking. show you know yeah yeah well. how about we get a wild boar and cook it. for your show that's all i'm saying okay. you got so aggro on me well no because i. i asked you about the movie and then you. came at me. joe i don't even think you asked me. about a movie i think you talked to me. about a movie and i said i'll say well. not a movie like a mini series like. transitional me doing like different. martial arts and then i and i lose.
weight it's like a you know. a documentary on me becoming whatever. who cares just work in silence just work. inside. work in silence. you don't have to do those i don't want. to do burpees you don't have to i like. doing bulgarian split squats. i'm a bulgarian split guy guy okay i. like doing deadlifts. i like doing a lot of towel work uh with. grip strength. okay i like doing i'm like uh i have a. good fresh out to ben. do so he he does a lot of like breath.
work and like resistance training and. just like. holds and stuff like that like really. intense buddy stuff. you know if you just do like some cardio. with a movie on. here's the thing man i got a peloton i. bought the peloton photons are great. bought a shadow can i get another one. those are so good. they used to be a sponsor back in the. day they had a at the old studio. wow um the thing about peloton is so. great is you're going along with people. like you're watching a video yeah. they're just talking about like x5 stuff.
it's. incredible they're [ __ ] getting after. it and you're getting after it with them. you get carried up in the momentum. super effective i was eating a pizza. watching my roommate. that's do it you can't that doesn't help. but but one thing that does help is. watch a movie. and get on like an elliptical and just. put a movie on it predator. yeah go put a movie on that's enjoyable. crank it up loud so. yeah you hear it over the sound of your. voice yeah and just get on an elliptical. and watch the movie. it's a great thing it goes great right. [ __ ] you i love the elliptical it's. so loud i love it yeah i love an assault.
i love a salt bike i love assault bikes. the assault bikes are not casual and. they're really loud. i like doing like 30 seconds about. bursts. yeah i do bursts see i've i've started. and stopped i would say truly. like four times so maybe it's like the. attic thing like you just need to just. decide. no i think i i honestly i'm mentally. getting there. where i i got the f i'm like there's no. other excuses now the thing about it is. you can talk about it to the end of time. and that's what people love to do.
you just have to do it the only. difference between doing it and not. doing it. is doing it joe holy [ __ ] that should be. on a fortune cookie. it's a it's a good saying this is being. a meme. it's a meme someone's meme page do you. have a meme page i bet there's a joe. rogan me page. there's all the pages how many different. pages are there for joe there's a lot of. fake ones i know uh. so many fake losers but i'm just saying. that like just for activity it's. when you watch a movie with an. elliptical machine or something like. that. it's like it's not even happening no. you're just doing the movie and you're.
doing. just walking 40 minutes of exercise. walking's great. walking's great breathing movies get. jazzed up. sometimes you get excited about like if. you watch john wick that's my face john. wick just breaking arms he's the new. stephen cigal right. and he's shooting people more he's more. shooting people yeah he does break a few. arms. i like i love i love the stevens to go. arm break like an elbow break. or like like he's always just snapping. yeah like that shit's the best. oh yeah oh dude above the law that's. still a great [ __ ] movie go back and. watch above the law.
where sharon stone was in it hot as the. sun. back in the early days of sharon stone. wasn't she was the movie what was the. movie where you. she moved her legs wasn't sharon stone. in that sharon. but sharon stone was in one of those. movies she was in one of the early. stephen seagal movies. and she was march for death perfect film. early days like a hot sweet chili heat. cheeto. wasn't it sharon stone why didn't her.
name didn't come up. because she was a small character yeah. steven seagal was the [ __ ]. and she was the she was a new one she. was just his hot. hot and in hollywood new to hollywood. there she is. oh back in the disney son look he's out. there doing aikido and she's looking. like keto she's looking spicy is he real. he's very good at aikido he's very good. at the keto yes aikido how does. not a lot of aikido going on nowadays. listen akito is good if no one knows.
anything. right the other guy doesn't know [ __ ]. you know you got a kid. that's good yeah but the reality of. aikido is it's. designed to disarm someone with a sword. it was an art for like when you're a. samurai. right and the scent like this let's see. your samurai this is miyamoto musashi. moto musashi he's a famous japanese. samurai. from the 1400s okay he. killed 62 i think 62 men.
in one-on-one combat yeah and he wrote a. book called go written no show the book. of five. rings wow and it's all about strategy. and i read it when i was a kid yeah i. was obsessed with this guy when i was a. kid. because when i was fighting i was always. looking for something to give me some. sort of a psychological edge. right and his book was all a book on i. was like who better to teach you. about psychology of fighting than a guy. who beat 60 men in [ __ ] sword fights. and wrote about it those were strong. swords well he wrote about it in a. really fascinating way. his approach was that in order to be a.
great. sword fighter in order to be a great. samurai you have to be balanced. you have to be an artist you have to be. great at calligraphy you have to. get poetry you have to have all your. [ __ ] together. you can't be all right yeah his his. thing was and this is one thing that he. said that i always. bring up that applies to everything i. think in life once you understand the. way broadly. you see it in all things right and he. felt like doing all those things in some.
way was like cross-training for life. yeah like doing art and swordsmanship. and and. learning i love that all these different. things yeah so it wasn't like. you would think you just got to be the. meanest. fastest baddest [ __ ] and that's. how you beat all these people. his approach was not like that you need. to know how to like trim a tree or. grow a flower you had to be right in. control of your ears. you had to be artistic and you had to be. in control of you. yeah in all ways not just in the hard. way but in the soft way.
in this in in you had to be able to be. outside of yourself that's incredible. yeah so that was that's my dog yeah. that's a good dog to have well i've. always been obsessed by. japanese culture period but his his book. was just like a. a massive influence on me when i was a. kid what why did i bring that up what. was i. talking about before above the line. from stephen cigal to somebody who's. killed 62 people well aikido was. designed for. like a samurai was it a sword fight.
right and the sword would go flying. and the guy was coming at you with a. sword you had to be able to take his. energy and use it against him that was. the idea of aikido aikido is not really. designed to be the best. one-on-one fight style like that's why. the japanese had karate and judo. and and jiu-jitsu that was what they. used all those arts for right aikido was. pretty much specifically designed the. art of taking away. yes it was designed to to disarm someone. but steven seagal was a legit. aikido master like absolutely 100.
legit in fact he was the first american. to run a dojo in japan. wow speaks fluent japanese and if you. look at the yeah man. i didn't know that i think there was i. think it's michael eisner or one of. those guys. decided to make him a superstar and to. put him into movies and make him a star. and did he start like doing like like. the stunt stuff first no he just did. above the law. above the law was his first movement. you ever see him run no what do you mean.
the way he runs is the weird. does he have like little he does like i. think the weirdest [ __ ]. run people make fun of his running it's. a good one well he's a tall guy. like a will ferrell could do a ghost. stealing look oh oh he's like right. it looks like he's running oh [ __ ]. what's his arms doing i don't know. exactly what's happening. is that good for his arms well it's not. the worst running but there's something. about the shortness of the movement. but i think it's because he's so used to. using his arms for. aikido he keeps them tight this is just.
a weird listen to the way he runs. like look he's looks like he's rowing. yeah he's does this look. like he's doing nunchucks but i think. he's like revving up yeah. there's a whole it's like he runs like. he's like speedwalker. you're totally right that's right he he. runs like a speedwalker look at him. running up the hill. dude hiking yeah well he's got little. baby steps. for a guy with such long legs he takes a. little bit little baby steps. a lot of little fast steps go yes yeah. but as an aikido master pull up um.
video of him doing aikido in japan in. the 1980s oh my god. yeah what about like stick fighting and. like that bru like. yeah that's legit i mean there's it's. certainly there's done any like weapon. fighting stuff i've. learned how to do it in classes if. someone's taught me how to do. like some sort of calorie in a screen. but not right i'm you know i'm a white. belt of that stuff i don't really know. much about it. and you are you're like what jujitsu. you're like full black belt. i have a black belt in ghee jiu jitsu.
and i have a black belt in nogi jiu. jitsu. right i have a black bone from. jean-jacques machado and the ghee and. eddie bravo with no game. okay calling the head of black belt in. taekwondo taekwondo i took that one. when i was a kid i gave up it's good for. kids like the little kids throwing kicks. and punches. i want to get my kid into that i bought. him like a punch ball like a punch thing. yeah mac. loves it he puts the boxing gloves on. okay 93. great here we go. perfect so this is right before he. became famous or. it might have been like right around. when he was this is in japan. this is in japan and i'm telling you.
dude if you watch any kind of. like legitimate aikido demonstration he. is as good as any you'll ever see he's. absolutely legit. i love it see the thing is like most of. this [ __ ] is not going to work in the. real world. right it looks like though these look. like those videos of those people just. like. doing the flips this isn't the best one. there's some from his dojo. this is just a demonstration these. people are like five foot versus like a. six-five guy well it's you know the. traditional japanese folks are thought.
to be like a. smaller stature except for a few there's. a few odd guys that are really giant. right but he's just throwing this dude. around like. clotheslining them and [ __ ] but i'm. telling you he's a legit aikido master. right right and i mean he's a silly man. in a lot of ways. right a lot of his stuff is silly but. when it goes to his okay here he is. now this is him and that's his this is. this is him in his dojo. in japan see he's significantly younger. here so this is literally looks like. it's. like shot in like the 1630s or something.
well. someone probably [ __ ] with it to try. to make it look look at that like all. that [ __ ]. this is all legit stuff like come at me. come at me. okay so that's much better that's what's. up let's see how he just did that the. guy came out with a knife. and he disarmed him that is the whole. purpose of aikido right like right there. right. that was what aikido was designed for. and this is like. the way he's doing it this is legit this. is about as legit an application of. akito as you're ever going to see. because that is literally exactly what. it's designed for and.
he is masterful at it what is the oldest. martial art. they don't really know and maybe kung fu. you don't really know. right you know it's so hard to see. because it's like you know you can. there's some ancient. drawings of uh of people doing some sort. of kicking and punching and. china is probably the birthplace of most. martial arts right. because it's probably the oldest culture. but japan refined it. right right japan took uh like it's like. japan is maybe before brazilian.
100 no no okay so it did start in japan. yeah count myada. came to brazil in the early 1900s and he. taught carlos and elio gracie. they took brazilian jiu-jitsu they took. jiu-jitsu and turned it to brazilian. jiu-jitsu they refined it. and made it much more about leverage and. much more about technique. and they concentrated more on the ground. like japanese jiu jitsu has a lot of. throws in it. it's almost like it's like niwaza from. judo which is like the ground fighting.
of judo. right right but the brazilians took jiu. jitsu to a whole. new place and they completely changed. the art form. but they learned it from japanese from. count maida. and there's a guy named kimura who came. to japan. came from japan that's where it came. from that that. submission came from him using that. submission on ilio gracie and breaking. his arm. wow yeah there's a map you can watch the. match it's a black and white match from. the early 1900s. where kimura who was much bigger than. elio see elio was a small guy he was.
like 147 pounds okay. and he was you know going against these. guys were like 200 pounds wow. and he had to use like leverage and he. had to wait till they get tired. he would wear them out and then. eventually catch them in submissions. that was his sting. that was his thing right but it's like. martial arts have gone through this. crazy evolution and then thailand. they had a totally different evolution. like they figured out kicking the legs. and they figured out a much more. effective style of kickboxing. and then they figured out a style where. they gambled on it so they had all these.
people in the ring. and then they had everyone around they. would be like making better thai is. bananas bananas man it's wild carnage do. you know. you know [ __ ] carnage oh yeah corn. corvette. yeah so you can just say his nickname. and i know him. i'm just like carnage you know carnage. nate yeah psychopaths. bad [ __ ] dude i i like i met him. once again like through the rooka dudes. and it's just like like watching his. highlight reel like i'm sitting with. this guy so once again i i love that i. don't really know too much.
so that you can meet people on these. genuine kind of pla like right you know. these these good. starting grounds so i'm like first time. i went to hawaii i cooked for. everybody for ruka and surfers and mma. people and like all these people are. there. i'm like i don't know who anybody is i. don't know who kelly slater is i don't. know. who [ __ ] shout out to my boy kelly. there you go bring him to the ranch. get me on a 14. i need a sup or. something bring me to the ranch okay. what ranch doesn't he have this the surf. ranch oh okay okay. oh any ranch i'll go to any ranch i'll. go to any ranch i thought we were back.
to the wild pigs. anyway i'll bring the wild pig to the. store anyway but i'm. like sitting across anyway we're after. whatever we're just literally just. hanging out. i'm just like like what do you do and. i'm just like i love because i was like. i love going to australia i've been to. australia like seven times. got a big you know a good crew down. there and he's just like oh. man he's like i'm i'm like a muay thai. kickboxer. i was like oh crazy i was like oh yeah. your face is kind of okay. i can see yeah just like okay and he was. just like yeah here check out my. little highlight reel yeah he cuts a lot.
of guys up. bruh his elbows oh yeah that was his. famous work he fought in glory for a bit. but the thing about glory is they don't. allow elbows. and i'm like sitting across the table. from this guy and i like watch this. thing. and you're just like oh you're an 11. time world. champion sitting across from me talking. about [ __ ]. and i was just like and and i was just. like oh you're a psychopath. well he's a competitor yeah he's a. champion yeah he's a change well.
champions are. most of them are psychos yeah right like. you have to like i remember. at a young age my dad teaching us how to. like box a little bit and fight. and i remember he he always would say. he's like punch to like through the face. he's like you want to punch like you. want to like extend through the face. yeah like punch he's like think about. like punching the back of their head. yeah and uh you know shout out to big. steve. but uh that's what kamaru usman did to. jorge mas vidal this weekend. and he punched through his face he was a. perfect example.
the chin into the shoulder he put him to. sleep he put him to sleep but but. the way he hit him he went through him. yes i mean that was that was it was. that's a freight train the probably that. was probably the best one-punch knockout. i've ever seen in my life was that the. first strike. no no no no it was the second round it. was the second round okay yeah i think. i was in bed i was in bed yeah but the. thing. it was a perfect punch like the per if. you wanted to google the perfect punch. that is the perfect one that's. the perfect punch and then what about. rose rose's kick it's a perfect kick.
perfect kick. perfect kick yeah didn't see it coming. landed right in the jaw. put her out first round early in the. fight. and not only that a woman in that lady. zhang wei lee who's thought to be the. most durable and physically aggressive. girl in the sport she's like a monster. right you ever watch that lady train. no oh my god do you want to train crazy. watch. zhong wei lee train yes like it's like. hot. all day all day oh my god i mean just. the intensity and the.
the physicality like she's so strong and. aggressive. yeah she's all seniors she's all senior. for rose to kick her in the face like. that. that interview in rose after the fight. was the first time i ever openly cried. while i was interviewing somebody like. tears were coming down my face. i couldn't stop it like it's real rose. is special she's special. rose is special she's a super sweet. person too she is. i couldn't believe it she's one of those. people that like she followed me on. instagram. like years ago and i dm'd her and i was.
just like. why do you like sometimes i'm like. amazed i'm just like why do you fall. like is this like you or is this. like a thing and she was like i love. your videos you make me laugh me my. husband like love watching your your. videos i was just like crazy. like this is amazing you have imposter. syndrome sometimes when you don't 100. every day are you kidding me i do too. every day why am i here. yeah why are you here dude why am i here. why are we all here i don't know when. you dm'd me um. i was in a quarantine situation getting. back into canada.
and i'm laying in my bed and you dm me. it was like about midnight my time. and i'm just i got back from la and i. was like. i was so stoked i did tiger belly i did. whiskey ginger. and i was just like man i'm [ __ ]. doing like big podcasts. and i'm like everyone like i'm friends. with these dudes now and i'm like i'm so. stoked santino's been such a good friend. and bobby is such a [ __ ] homie and i. love both those guys. and santino's here tomorrow dude. incredible comic. incredible person he is i love him.
[ __ ] funny. he's really funny he's [ __ ] i i. really like watching him [ __ ]. do stand up and when i got that dm i was. like. and it is like one of those things where. you're like huh crazy and then i'm like. getting pumped up like coming down here. i'm getting like. i'm like okay uh i'm like it's it's like. you know you're getting ready for like a. fight you're like i'm gonna do this. and i'm gonna do that and then i'm gonna. say this joke and then i'm gonna rev him. up and then i'm gonna like grab his. nipples and then i'm gonna like. i'm gonna get him to [ __ ] talk about. like my podcast on his podcast.
and then i'm gonna do all these things. and i'm like i'm [ __ ] i'm gonna talk. about how i did. jitsu once and we'll get there and i got. tired out the shrimps the shrimps got me. just doing shrimps was like tough on the. big dog did you shrimp on the ground. i was doing shrimps on the ground and i. was just like i was in philly i was in. philly with some dudes you know mark. vetrie and those guys. out in philly italian chef great chef he. just became a black belt. with precision out there and he's. teaching you. how to shrimp well we were doing it like. a chef conference with like a bunch of.
the internet chef conference but like. an event um alex's lemonade stand oh. okay so we were doing like a big cancer. for kids thing. um and he was like hey open call. anybody that wants to come do jiu jitsu. we do it every morning and i was just. like okay i'll go like 6 a.m like i want. to try this and i went. and we took it was so funny i was just. like warm up i was dusted. and then i got a ghee on the ghee barely. fits me because obviously they don't. have any large. geese because they're all in shape and. then the one guy it was so funny.
there was no bell set for me so the one. guy had this big purple belt and he gave. me like a purple belt. and so we took a photo after the thing. and my instagram was like you're a. purple belt we knew it maddie. and they're like and so many people were. just like oh my god they're like and. then some people were like there's no. way this guy's a purple belt. and like it was just like so and then i. was just like i'm not a purple belt okay. anybody. but i did jiu-jitsu there but alex who. do i do. he just became a blue belt and he's. doing it at the. undefeated gym uh in l.a oh nice.
and uh so he he just got his blue belt. and we were talking about imposter. syndrome he was just like. because we always make fun he always. says he's a tough white belt and so. he's like but now i'm a [ __ ] blue belt. you know so he's like it's always like. that humbling moment. and there's always like that moment in. time where you're like i don't why do i. deserve that he's like i should have. worked hard. i should be a better white belt to get. that blue belt actually he's like i. could still work harder. at being a white belt to get that blue. and i think like that is the thing where. most of the time.
like my brain is always saying no why do. you have this. why why why do you have uh you know. restaurants why do you have this. why do you have books why do you have. all this [ __ ] you don't deserve this. you're a [ __ ] loser. and i'm just like i'm not a loser you. are enjoying yourself i'm not a [ __ ]. loser i gotta pump my own brakes man. or pump my own tires whatever the [ __ ]. i'm pumping but it's just like. your gas i'm all gas baby i'll pump my. [ __ ]. i'm gonna rev up i'm gonna rev up you.
wanna rev. up let's get some more [ __ ] rifle. we are revved up we're revved up what's. going on joe how are you today. i'm good i think that's the reason why. you have that yeah sure thank you. i think the reason why you have that. feeling that imposter syndrome. most sane people that become successful. do have that. right you know because it doesn't make. sense especially like when you're young. you never thought you'd be successful. and then all of a sudden you are you're. like is this even real. i remember i wanted to get to a.
financial point. where i didn't want to check my bank app. to fill up my gas. that was a big moment in my life me and. greg fitzsimmons you know greg. fitzsimmons i don't. hilarious stand-up comic we started we. started out together and one of the. things we always talked about. was that one day we would get to a place. where we could pay our bills with comedy. that's all we wanted to do yeah we want. to be professionals yeah i. just oh imagine you didn't have to have. a regular job you could just pay your. bills with comedy. oh remember you don't even get paid. right until you're like what a headline.
like do you get paid for five minutes. yeah well you get a little bit depending. on which club it is it you know it. depends on where you're at. like uh clubs in new york they'll have. people do shorter sets and clubs in la. sometimes you do 15 so you make like 25. bucks at the comedy store if you do 15. but if you do it's incredible it's. ridiculous yeah. buck a minute buck buck 25 a minute you. know there's a difference to go up there. and just die. it's a different thing because it's a. place where like the comedy store in la. was always our gym. it's a place where we worked out so it.
wasn't really about making money we'd. make our money on the road. right like that but when you go on the. road you know if you're. lucky you'll you'll get a guy who's a. headliner he'll take you with him on the. road. so like say if you're starting out and. you're a host or an opening act. someone will take you with them and then. they'll let you they'll say hey just do. 10 minutes and then bring up the middle. act and then you'll get to watch the. middle act and go some day someday i'll. be the middle egg and then one day. you're the middle act and you watch the. headliner like someday. and then some day one day you're the. headliner and then one day. people are actually coming to see you.
and one day they introduce you and. people cheer and you're like what is. this real. the cheering is crazy right bizarre dude. i. what two years ago two years ago i guess. now. um i started doing like a spoken word. tour oh boy. and did a lot of those he loved doing. those and. once again very afraid to go to those. you know just. i was like i'm gonna yeah [ __ ] he he's. such a beauty. and you know i was like i'm gonna go on. stage. and i wanted to start doing tours and.
and. nobody even knew what the [ __ ] they were. and i started like i started in like. small bars. and by the end of like i did about 50. shows in a year. and it was great like it went from like. 200 people. which is still amazing no openers no. nothing no but nobody if people thought. i was gonna do like cooking demos. and i went on stage and did like a. spoken word for about an hour and a half. wow and did you plan it out no really. first. night was the first night i spoke on.
stage no planning no [ __ ] notes. how many people in the audience 200 wow. maybe more probably more it was sold out. the whole thing was sold out. it was just the smaller venues we. started at small venues to amp up. was it what does it feel like like how. did you start. i was just like i walked out i was like. you [ __ ] like i just started like. chirping the crowd a little bit. and like working the crowd and being. like where the [ __ ] are you from i'm. like i'm in. my first show was in boston in this like. little dive bar. and it was so incredi i was just like. what the [ __ ] is up with boston.
you guys are [ __ ] all racists you're. [ __ ] losers you all sound like you're. from southie i was just like whatever. making jokes and i was just like and. then and then i was just like okay who. thought i was gonna cook. and everyone's like this and i'm like. why would i cook you stupid [ __ ]. why would i cook what am i gonna come on. stage and make an. omelette and share it with everybody i. said it's like no we're here to [ __ ]. i'm here to [ __ ] figure out what the. [ __ ] i'm doing here. and and i honestly like we we built out. by like show three i had a solid hour. and a half really.
and and i just started and then i. started doing it and. the big i think i did like a 2000 cap. room. and it was like crazy wow and i was just. like. this is so wild i was like with no prep. and i was like this is great. and i had a three-month tour booked one. of the one of the. part of the six months i had booked was. i had a three-month world tour booked. wow so i was doing so you're just going. to do this kind of stuff but do it all. over the place. yeah well i did australia i've done. australia i did new zealand. i did you know now when you do 2000.
seats do you have. it prepared like the stories you're. going to tell the things you're going to. talk about no. we're going stage i just started talking. ridiculous but i i have a bass line. that i work on and i go on and off and i. have tangents that i can run off of. and i've built out this timeline of my. life and i tell these stories throughout. my life. if you just tell the drug stories i feel. like bro i have this one story that's. incredible where we. we we stole 16 000 from my parents. which they had some they my dad was an.
entrepreneur at one point so we had a. lot of money. and then so i stole some money we gave. it to my friend who drove. to vancouver bought a pound of cocaine. then. what a uncut brick one pound of cocaine. how much does that cost. it was 16 000 that's it at that time. this is like 2 000. give her more more no. 16 000 yeah it's about six yeah i think. he's like it changes that yeah it's. about sixteen thousand. coke you've never done cocaine that's.
incredible. because i find it very fascinating to me. people that haven't done cocaine. coke that's incredible. have you never nope see i think that. that. it's an interesting thing to me for some. reason. because i'm just like weird you never. wanted to [ __ ] like crack it when i. was in high school. yeah when i was in high school one of my. best friends had a. cousin that had a real problem right and. i watched him fall apart from coke. it's scary because i had a couple other. people around me that also had coke.
problems. and i was back then like super straight. edge. yeah like i'm gonna be a winner and get. my [ __ ] together like my biggest fear. my biggest fear in life was being a. loser yeah my number one the only reason. why i went to college yeah so that. people didn't feel like i was a loser. stay home stay home guys stay i'm gonna. stay home for uh yeah this summer i'm. gonna take a year off. i did the same thing i took i took a. year off and that was a humiliating year. whenever i would win you were a loser. for that year that was the only year. they. well i was a loser after that too i was. broke even though i was like.
if i had to explain to people like what. are you doing i travel around the. country kicking people in the face yeah. like there was no money in that yeah i. was going. i'm i'm getting paid nothing to go and. fight people no health insurance and i. was kicking people in the face for fun. that was my my number one and then i was. like okay i gotta figure out what to do. with my life. but that fear of not being a loser. was why i never did coke because i saw. this guy be a loser. lose his life he lost lost weight got. real skinny and pale and him and his. girlfriend just. probably wasn't doing too much coke he's. probably doing a little meth and stuff.
too there was no meth back then. no oh yeah it was the 80s yeah nobody. had mastered in the 80s unless they. didn't weren't telling anybody yet i. don't know there's some around in the. 90s they definitely had pills. yeah people had amphetamines for sure. but i don't think they had crystal. no the uh yeah drugs are bad but the uh. okay. okay i had this bit about [ __ ]. about the pound of coke i'm sorry i. interrupted you no no joe we never. interrupt. okay there's a pound we got a pound of. coffee how big is a pound of coke it's.
like. you know it's like one it's like a moo. it's like a movie it's like a thing. we had this like [ __ ] like a movie. scene yeah it is it's like a pack of. [ __ ] [ __ ] so he had to go buy it. then he had to drive back and it was. back when we had [ __ ] flip phones so. like t9 texting and [ __ ]. razer motorolas and [ __ ] [ __ ] and so. nobody could communicate still even with. that communication was very [ __ ]. right and so we were like text us every. day it's a four-day drive. back from vancouver so texas every. [ __ ] four days for the pound.
coke in his car door in his car door so. he's like unscrewed his car door put the. you know duct tape dead in oh my god. it's it it's. me and my friends in college we all got. this like whatever we there's like was. he. going the speed limit well this is the. best thing so like on the last day he. texts us and he's like i'm. i'm leaving thunder bay thunder bay is. about 18 hours from toronto. so it's northern most northern part. right borders like winnipeg. and it's like the northern part of. [ __ ] ontario 18-hour drive home and. we're like. it's coming home and we're all like.
cheerleaders we're like let's go let's. go. boys boys you know like just like we're. all just like let's. go and and then and i the the amazing. thing was. all of a sudden we're all getting ramped. up we're like tomorrow it's gonna be. here it's gonna be here [ __ ] tomorrow. we're all [ __ ] dropping out of. college this is going to be the greatest. decision of our lives. about a pound of cocaine we're gonna but. the idea was to sell it because we're. gonna make like 30 000. we you know we. step on it like three times. sell little baggies we're gonna make. we're gonna get rich you know.
he texts us just got pulled over and. we're just like. what the [ __ ] are you talking about and. i was just like. we're gonna have to kill him we're gonna. we're like instantly i'm just like we're. gonna have to kill him if he says my. name. or if he says we're gonna have to kill. our friend he's gonna rat on us he's not. strong enough. he's not mentally strong enough to get. the fuzz off his back. and he's like i just got pulled over. then we're like. okay nobody texts them because then. they'll have our numbers and we're like. why did he even text us we're like [ __ ]. we're all like freaking we're like do we.
like boil our phones what are we doing. here jesus christ. then all instead he's like he calls. our old roommate dougie and. [ __ ] it he literally like dude i got. pulled over. and there was like a snowstorm kinda and. my windshield wiper flew off and i was. using my arm. driving like half the speed limit and i. got pulled over because the cop. is now gonna drive me to a uh like a. garage so i can fix my windshield wiper. good cup and i was just like hey okay.
okay. still got the cocaine in the car he's. like cocaine's great just following this. police officer to a garage. to fix my windshield wiper and i was. like why won't you just pull over. the windshield wiper's gone you got the. pound of cocaine why don't you bring it. back to the [ __ ]. god get off the road right you know it's. a snowstorm. driving a 94 camry like what the [ __ ] is. going on you know like it's just like. one of those things. and i was just like when he showed up. we had this plan we were gonna have his. name like.
like football painted on our bodies and. we were gonna be standing out. because where his parking spot was his. name his name was dustin. did you have enough people yeah we were. gonna have a welcoming party. so we were gonna have dustin and we were. all our we were on the second floor of. this building. right now at islington and dixon shout. out to [ __ ] rexdale. and we're [ __ ] we were all gonna line. up. and then he called us about the cops and. all this stuff and we were all gonna. have dustin. and and he showed up. and uh it was the craziest we we.
did all the cocaine in about two weeks. and we didn't sell any of it and none of. us left. and if i'm. i'm like if you in culinary school. so like everyone's pretty crispy you. know like at that point you're just like. and it's pure cocaine pure cocaine. it was so we broke off this little piece. and i could still remember like i. remember everybody that was there.
you know i won't say their names because. one of them works at the airport so. [Laughter]. i remember man and he broke off a piece. and we took it and we it was like a rock. and he just took it and like hit it on. the table. and just dust fell and we made like. fresh lines out of that. and we just did it and we were like it. was like. it was a movie it was like euphoric it. was like this is a drug. see this is a drug the [ __ ] we're doing. with like with like laxatives and. [ __ ]. stepped on 10 times that's not a thing.
this fresh cocaine. that's nice that's what it should be and. that should be illegal. yes pure cocaine legal it should be. illegal all drugs should be legal who. gives away. uh should be legal all drugs drugs are. perfect humans are the fuck-ups. but the problem is when you're getting. something they call it cocaine and it's. really a bunch of other [ __ ] like. fentanyl. yeah fentanyl [ __ ] babe most of the. time i'm just [ __ ] like if i look at. a dollar bill i'll take a [ __ ]. you know like it's just like man i can. smell like that's like why do they put. laxatives in it i don't know because i. think you can snort it and it like burns.
your nose. kind of like i don't know because okay. doesn't really burn your nose either. i don't [ __ ] know man yeah just yeah. there we go that's the big yeah it's. just white is it right. it's the same consistency they put. vitamins sometimes too right. yeah they're [ __ ] they're [ __ ]. and if you think you can't even test it. right. no because like even like even if you. want to like cook it and like. you know take it and like [ __ ]. freebase it or anything it just turns to. glue most of the time. or like even like you get like chunky.
you can get like chunky shitty coke and. like sometimes i would take like a micro. a plate put in the microwave and heat it. up. then you pour the coke on there and. it'll dry it out kind of make it more. crispier and. nicer to sniff this is too much. information this is a lot of people. watch this. eh yeah there's a few god. stop my mom's gonna be like what the. [ __ ] are you talking about. cocaine she's like maddie she would be. like you're so sweet you figured it out. anyways my. joanie's so sweet shout out to joni love. joni she's the best. [ __ ] ace a pound of cocaine would.
land you in jail for a long time. i feel so yeah yeah because they would. assume that you're selling it. they would not just doing it like a. bunch of college students not just for. personal use. it's personal use but it's good that you. didn't step on it that's good you. maintain your integrity. well yeah that's the thing was just like. because i wasn't a drug dealer but it. was like. i lived with a couple drug dealers so. and then we just it was so good that we. were just like this is crazy we have. like the supply. we're like this will last us like a year. you know no it lasted as literally two.
weeks. and then i get a phone call from my. [ __ ] my dean my head chef. and he calls me and i was just like. who's this number and i answer it. and he was like maddie and i was like. yeah. and he's like there's a chef and i was. like chef chef who like what chef. he's like whatever his name was and. i was just like oh my god chef hey how. are you doing he's like. what's going on you haven't been to. school in [ __ ] two weeks. and i was like we got a pound of coke.
yeah and i kind of was just like you. know i'm mentally fragile right now chef. and. and i don't really have anything no. [ __ ] real breakfast in me anymore and. i. i you know is there any way that i can. just come back i've had a rough little. couple weeks. and uh you know i i i like how can i get. back in the program. and he's like you know we really like. you you've done really well up into this. point he's like come in and talk to us. i'm going to have all our chefs here and. we're going to assess and you came in. like ray leota and goodfellas looking. for the helicopter. just like so yeah imagine me like just.
thinking i'm looking like real chill and. professional just showed up haven't. showered in like two weeks. just like bloodshot eyes pale skin yeah. just like haven't been outside a sheen. of sweat over your whole body oh. mamma mia man i just smell like. chemicals i smell like bleach. i just smell like [ __ ] and bleach [ __ ]. so gross and i walk in all my chefs were. there. and and i was just like. and they're like so what explained to us.
and i was like okay. here's the deal we bought a pound of. cocaine. they're like excuse me i was like me and. my roommates bought a pound of cocaine. and we've done it all it's all gone. and they're like excuse me and i was. just like. chefs i need to come back to work. my parents you know i need to finish. this program. and they're like you are telling us that.
you. and how many people and i was like. there's like a core group of four. and then you know sporadically up to. maybe seven we kept it tight. and they were like maddie. and i was like chefs they're like you're. gonna be a good chef one day. i was just like what and they're like. you don't lie to us and i was just like. i'm not lying. and i just like they thought you were. lying oh yeah they were just like what. are you talking about and i was just. like well. okay well [ __ ] it you know [ __ ] it.
and i was just like well i i i want to. be a chef you know i got the chef whites. here. i'm [ __ ] you know how good like you. could see me i [ __ ] up for two weeks. like let me back in i'll rock. you know no questions asked i'm like. because you they lock the door. at quarter to eight a.m so you have to. be there at seven you have to be a half. hour early. to like your [ __ ] cooking class or. they lock you out. and so they're like okay you miss one. day you're out. and then literally i was like no problem. and they're like we're going to let you.
back in this is unheard of. and stop like they're just like so sweet. and i was just like and i had a good. relationship with them. and i was like it was like a very. interesting cooking. you know situation and and i was just. like okay like i'm in. i want to be a chef like because they. were they were like do you want to be a. chef. because if you don't like [ __ ] off right. and i was like i want to be a chef i. want to go work in french restaurants. i want to i want to you know i want to. work on my skills. there's nothing else for me this makes.
me feel happy i am lucky that i have. found. something that i can do i wasn't good at. lacrosse. i wasn't good at skateboarding i wasn't. good at [ __ ] anything. now i wasn't going to anything in high. school and now in college. i get [ __ ] like 90s because i can. [ __ ]. debone a quail make a borderlays i can. make hollandaise. i can make a stock i'm not an idiot i. can hold the line. i don't fall during service and you. enjoy it and i love i love it. cooking is i love i love it you can tell.
i do that's one of the things about your. videos it's very infectious. i love i love it when people love what. they're doing it's very infectious. well because you can't i'm not an act. like the thing too is like i'm not an. actor. right you know like i'm like i i i don't. know how to be anything but. like i'm just a [ __ ] i'm this you. know and. and i was just like i want to be a chef. i'm going to be a chef. and and they're like okay and it was. amazing because like literally i get. back. you know i'm like i go back to school. you know take a shower.
brush my teeth you know get ready and. shave my face. and um and then like two weeks later. it's almost like the end of the year too. and i [ __ ]. i just dropped out to go on tour with. like a metal bit with my buddy's like. metal band. and i'd like to drop out and then like. my punk because i was like you know when. you're. i feel like i got caught by doing drugs. but then me being like punk i was like. oh my friends like death metal band is. touring canada they're like do you want. to come with us i was like yeah okay. that makes sense i don't need a piece of. paper. i don't need my diploma to say that i'm.
a chef i learned everything what i'm. gonna learn in the last two weeks of. this course. so i ended up actually dropping out and. and i felt like. it's one of those things where i was. just like you know i never talked to. those chefs again. i never saw like who sees their college. student or you know who sees their. teachers from college really. and then years down the line it's so. incredible. my chef chef anthony. i'll say his first name but chef anthony. [ __ ] hit me up on facebook he's this. big irish [ __ ] red [ __ ] big.
michelin. psychopath and he was just like. he like whatever he like facebooked me. or messaged me on facebook when i. still had like facebook and he was just. like i'm really proud of you. he's like you you have multiple. restaurants like you [ __ ] pulled it. out. this is incredible he's like i remember. who you were and he's like to see your. rise like in the city. is like really incredible he's like. there's no other chefs from your. graduating class. not that you graduated but there was.
he's like you're the one. he's like just think of that like all of. the chefs in that class. in that in that [ __ ] whatever. that was you know whatever you call it a. class or whatever there's like you are. the one. and i was just like that's so crazy he's. like there's no other chefs he's like. you are the only chef from that program. so no one else became a chef no they all. just go into the they go into the thing. and they get burnt or they get. pushed out or you know like it's a tough. thing it's tough it's like i'm a tough. light belt how long does it take to.
become a. black belt not that i'm a you know it is. what it's like i'm more like of a. business person now. like i'm not like technically i'm not. the best chef but. i'm definitely like i have. well-roundedness. i understand most chefs most great chefs. are just great chefs they're not great. operators. or they're not great business people and. a lot of chefs also. aren't really like they don't own the. business right it's kind of ironic is. what made you big was not just. your cooking skills but it was this big. personality.
and this big personality which is. originally connected to drugs and. partying. and then yeah you know that kind of like. got you in the door. yeah well it it there wasn't many doors. i couldn't walk through. you know there wasn't many doors that i. like you know i either kicked him down. or i was welcomed with. you know open arms but it it it's still. like. it is interesting that no one else from. the class made it yeah like. and and and i don't even mean that to. because i'm a i'm a firm believer of. like going to school and i think.
going to school taught me that i liked. school i hated high school. i didn't like math or science or gym or. whatever. english you didn't like doing things you. didn't like to do no i was a very. [ __ ] cute guy a lot of kids is that. they don't find a thing. they think that they're never going to. be good at anything because they're not. good at school. because they're not interested in school. and then they find something they're. interested in they go oh. that's not what it is i'm not a loser i. just. like what i'm doing and most people. don't use the tools that you learned in.
high school. like high school is mostly just a social. experiment you know for like building. keeping kids away from their parents and. like doing stuff and building social. [ __ ]. you know awareness kind of yeah but i. think it's just like like the amount of. things that. i don't know like that like i i i think. the thing that. clicked with my with going to cooking. school was. i realized what self-esteem was i never. felt self-esteem like that before where. all of a sudden. if i did if i showed up with my clean.
chef whites. and i did what the chef said and i did. my mison class. and i cooked a dish and i did everything. to [ __ ] the speck of what was put to. me. i get a good grade i i was a 50. percentile i was always just. what do i have to do to pass right i was. very much like and i was funny enough. in high school that i could work with my. teachers on what do i have to do to just. get through this [ __ ]. right i'm not going to be a. mathematician i'm not going to be a. teacher i'm not going to be [ __ ]. anything that's going on in this [ __ ]. room. you know and and i think a lot of. teachers even like were like well.
you know i was one of those kids that. they're like okay good luck with. whatever the [ __ ] you're going to be. doing too. you know because i was a verbal you know. i was like a [ __ ] or i. i wasn't afraid to say [ __ ] you to. somebody or be like yeah send me to the. office okay cool thank you. or like fight with my vice principals. and like all that kind of stuff like i. was like in the office every day. you know like a fun person yeah yeah i. remember when i switched because i i got. kicked out of my first high school. for fighting and my older brother was a. fighter too so they're like we're not. dealing with another matheson you got to. get the [ __ ] out of here. so then i went to a catholic high school.
and i remember like the first. week i walked during like morning prayer. i like was just like and just like. walked out of the room because i saw. like my homie walking down the hallway. and i was like yo what's up and i like. just left during prayer. and like the teacher like almost like. choke slammed me and i was just like. what's happening and they're like. it's morning prayer and i was just like. no i saw my butt like i was just like. and catholic school was just another. whole thing because i was like. i was brought up i was brought mormon. really so i was brought more sam was.
mormon well my family's mormon. were all ex-communicated what happened. my dad got us all taken out. of the thing so it was just like we were. like deep we were deep. and then when we moved provinces the. church wasn't good. here in ontario so in nova scotia. big big fellowship we mormon world. you know then what my dad was like a. high deacon or whatever the [ __ ] it was. or like. we always like sat next to like the. bishops family like front row [ __ ]. because it's all like. the families whoever's like up on the.
stage or whatever like the family sit in. the front rows and [ __ ]. and so then when we moved to ontario. i [ __ ] you know uh. like when we were about 12 or 13 right. around like that time when we started. all of a sudden doing like drugs and. drinking. is when we stopped going to the church. because that's maybe a part of it too. right. where like we were like i never had a. coca-cola i never saw a pg. rated movie we only watched g-rated. really. i never saw the simpsons until i was you.
know like things like that like we were. allowed. so once you got excommunicated from the. church they just well we we took. ourselves my dad i don't know if. x communicates the right word left the. church we when we left the church but. because they have so much information on. you. and your family like [ __ ] family tree. stuff. like it takes a long time to actually. get your like your. [ __ ] out of there what do you mean like. uh your infra like. i think they just have like a lot of. information on you and your families and. they do a lot of ancestral stuff. right so i think they do like a lot of. and you you know the pen you got to give.
all. like even like i would get two dollars a. week for my allowance and i'd have to. give 10. to the church so we would all be my. brothers we would have to take our. nickels. or whatever our dimes and we'd have to. give our our 10. to the church really yeah yeah so that. was training like just saying like that. training of like giving the church the. money. from day one and all that kind of [ __ ]. so it was just like. and then you know my parents are like. they were young and it's great. they were like the the young the young. couple that got knocked on and my dad. was like come on in like drink.
like you want a beer and and all of a. sudden my dad was just like. and it was one of those things where i'm. like why you know we were so. like you like when i found that out. later on i was like you literally just. like somebody. knocked on you let a missionary in here. you know like where it's like so funny. how old were you when you're asking them. that question like like later like in my. 20s. yeah like when i had like some balls to. like you know dads are so scary. so i was just like you know like huh. yeah just why you're asking him why. yeah just like some quite like where i. was just like you know like he would.
come visit me in college and. we'd go have like lunch you know my dad. would drive up to the city and you know. having those father-son kind of. conversations like. hey like this was kind of crazy back. then they're like why was this or like. like why why you know why were we never. allowed to like sleep over at other kids. houses or like. you know like things like little small. things that i don't think are. you know crazy but i think it's. definitely like one of those things that. like. you know never having like a coca-cola. and then all of a sudden i'm like doing. acid. you know i'm all gas you know like it's.
just like i was like. oh cool we're not mormons anymore let's. do some blotter acids sometimes that's. what triggers it right it's the. repression. there's so much repression and then all. sudden they take the. reins off you well and the idea of. heaven just like at a young age. i strongly felt like there was no heaven. and i strongly felt. i didn't believe it from a young age. because i also and. there's three levels of heaven in the. mormon in the mormon or in the book of. mormon right there's like the celestial. the [ __ ] whatever and. whatever so i was just like this does.
have three levels of. there's like three levels of heaven so. there's tears there's tears right. so the thing that i was i was a klepto. as a kid. i would walk into like you know a little. store and like grab a little thing like. i remember i stole a jackknife once from. like this like you know hardware store. like i would just like take things you. know a little klepto and. in my head at a very young age i was. like i'm never going to be. eternal with my parents at a very young. age i was like my parents are like you. know they did the whole thing with the. underwear and they're married forever.
and like. [ __ ] underwear is wild daddy i think. they had to give it back or they had to. get rid of it i don't [ __ ] know that. i don't know let's facetime steve and be. like what the [ __ ] did you have to give. the underwear back. i still don't understand like they have. information on you like why does that. make it hard to leave because they tell. you hey we know things about you. like no i don't think it's like weird. like that kind of stuff i just think. like just to get our [ __ ] out. to be like stricken of the books right. so you don't have to pay them every week. you don't have to pence or just like you. or i think it's called pence but i think.
it's like once again there's probably a. lot of mormons watching this that are. being like manny doesn't know [ __ ] and i. don't know [ __ ] okay. i don't know [ __ ] i just lived it right. but i just think it it is. um i remember it was just one of those. things where. i remember my dad and my sister it was. crazy because she had a child out of. wedlock. she's gonna love that i say this but she. had like a child out of wedlock. and so that was like a thing where i. think it was like i don't even know i. think there was like a thing where she. got like a piece of paper saying she had. to go in front of like a tribunal.
oh boy and like you know explain herself. or she was getting or maybe she was. getting excrement i. still forget it's kind of fuzzy but i. think it was like one of those things. where. i remember when the missionaries showed. up and it was almost like they served. her like papers or some [ __ ]. and i remember my older brother almost. like beat the [ __ ] out of these. missionaries. was like get the [ __ ] out of you know. one of those kind of things like get off. our porch get the [ __ ] out of here. serving you papers you violated i don't. know. like that's the thing is like i don't. like a lot of uh that is the wackiest.
religion. it's the wackiest right yeah i know of. course i'm a part of it. it's like other than scientology i was. baptized it's the wackiest one. it's the wackiest one right right they. know the guy who made it up and he was. like. we used to go we used to go to the hill. where he found the book of mormon and. they used to redo the event. and we would visit the jail where he was. like murdered. how old was he when they killed him in. his 20s. that's in that wild john smith john. smith. um joseph joseph smith he invented it.
when he was 14 years old. let's go that's incredible that's like. now that's like. a tick tocker you know everyone just. follows tick tock same [ __ ]. well i just can't imagine a 14 year old. that's not full of [ __ ]. yeah you know like a 14 year old that. tells you a story like that and. everybody's like wow. he's like let's go you've met angels. what are they like they were beautiful. you have uh golden tablets i love a. golden tablet with the last work of. jesus. jesus there was a guy that was angels.
a mormon he was a higher up in the. church he was a wealthy. mormon guy and he decided he was going. to do this is back. before 23 and me way back in the day he. was going. to sequence the dna of native americans. to prove they were lost tribe of israel. yeah to prove that the book of mormon. was correct. turns out no no false yeah turns out. they're from siberia. yeah full circle well it's like the.
world where the world was all together. well they always thought that you know. scientists and. archaeologists thought that uh people. came down from the bering strait the. wearing landmass. but there was also people that lived. here as well yeah you know there's. they see there's a lot of confusion. about that they're not really exactly. sure. they think for sure some people came. here by boat but they don't know when. they don't know how long ago they anglos. no not even the anglos man there was. pacific islanders were traveling. thousands of years ago right. and they think maybe some of them made.
it here and they think that for sure. some people came across the bering. landmass and they think you know. some people might have come up from. south america like the. olmecs and yeah you know they don't know. they don't know they don't know how long. people have been here there's a lot of. guessing. there is i i appreciate the guessing. they can prove like a lit. like there was a guy um was it. can a wick man can't wake me is that it. there was a guy that they found they. found a body. that had a spear tip or an arrow head.
against bone in the bones like fused. into the bone. and so they knew that this guy had been. killed. there right and they knew that he'd been. killed by a i think it was a clovis. point. wow but i think they they did they. carbon dated his body back to like. five thousand plus years ago and so. they're like trying to figure out like. was this. and oh that was the thing about this. okay that's where i heard about this. this was on the. meat-eater podcast steve rinel's podcast. right and they had um.
thought that he was uh an anglo-saxon. they thought that he was a white man. based on. his uh bone structure right which is. nonsense. right yeah like it doesn't work like. that and so as they. you know started to do some examinations. on his dna they found out no he was. in fact uh of native american ancestry. but they don't know they really don't. know like when people got here there's a. lot of guessing. you know until they find they'll look. that's what happens with. paleontology like they'll find an old.
bone. and they'll go well here's a human bone. now we we push it back to. twelve thousand six hundred years okay. now we found a new one. now we push it back to fourteen thousand. years i love that yeah. what's that they're like [ __ ] it is wild. [ __ ] do you think they're gonna know. when they come. what's going on with the aliens well let. me let me. fill me in okay i want to know because i. have a funny story about aliens. oh i love to hear it okay on my wedding. day. my wedding day it was incredible we.
found. uh this we had all those like lanterns. and we had a bunch of people and we lit. them on fire and we put up the orbs. right and they float you know. about two weeks after our wedding. there's this viral video in canada. of an alien invasion and it's this. little. little group of people maybe they're in. trailers maybe they're not. maybe they're on meth maybe and they are.
freaking out of the invasion that's. happening right now. and there's video and it's like come on. there's. there's more there's more there's more. and it's literally like you know 20. miles down the road from where we were. right and so it's your stuff just vice. wrote an article about it. like all this stuff was happening about. this alien invasion and this video. and i had to be like i emailed like the. editor and i was just like hey. i honestly think that this is from my. wedding.
[Laughter]. and it was like this incredible like. thing where. and they took it down on their facebook. because it went viral it was like this. huge thing where people were like what. is this. like what are all these orbs like. they're floating over. and it was like this incredible thing. where we were like. and forever like our family is just like. remember the aliens. that came to your wedding and floated. down there because you just put them up. it's just like lighting trash on fire. and letting it go. are they um it's just like a candle. inside yeah it's like one of those like. little like tea light things.
from the thing and it's just like this. but they flew forever. and we were on the water we were in like. port dover and so it blew it down the. [ __ ]. it just like the window danger of that. causing a forest fire. no no no no never. but it's a candle that's floating yeah. anywhere. yeah like a bundle of pine needles no. there's no bundle of pineapples in. canada it's all wet. we're moistured we're well moistured all. the time. yeah all the time but you have fires up.
there you do have fires up there. some places like up north kind of but. not really okay nothing that's like. really special it's not a problem. okay yeah we can you know a bunch of. white privileged losers. setting firebombs up into the sky yeah. no problem but the [ __ ]. but aliens i'm interested i'm i'm. genuinely because i'm like. obviously there's like it's ignorant. right to think that there isn't stuff. out there. something that's happening very soon. isn't the pentagon releasing something. didn't they have some sort of uh. a press release scheduled 180 days.
no there's something that's scheduled. very soon. that that jeremy corbell was discussing. because they just released. excuse me i got a cough button now watch. it actually says cough yes it's real. which is great because i used to cough. i used to clear my throat into the mic. and people got super annoyed um. but there's been quite a few sightings. that they've confirmed that the. pentagon's confirmed the navy's. confirmed they're like well yeah.
this is real footage we don't know what. the [ __ ] it is we have no idea. this did you see the pyramids there's. these floating pyramids floating. things i haven't seen it this is a. reason when there's these three. there's a cluster of them that they got. on video. they're floating above this uh. installation they have no idea what the. [ __ ] they are. incredible they don't know how they're. operating they don't know what they are. so you're thinking like if we can't. handle a whole. coved we're gonna do really good against. the aliens well that's what we're built.
for. we're built for extraterrestrial. problems. no we're [ __ ] man there's no way we're. gonna handle it we're feeble right or. we're. fragile we're fragile we're bags of milk. we're not just fragile physically more. importantly we're fragile in terms of. our ability to overcome adversity our. ability to handle things and keep our. composure. look a bad cold which is essentially. what coronavirus is it's terrible. kills a lot of people but yeah it kills. people it really exposed people's health. problems more than anything. right right that was ever the average.
person that died from coveted. uh 2.6 more bit comorbidities okay so. that's that means. more than two and a half other problems. whether it's uh. heart disease right cancer and. that's and then covet and then covet. killed him right but. that's uh it's not that it's not that. we have a hard time with that it's just. that we fell apart. in terms of the way we communicate with. each other like people went into a panic. you know people uh people started.
attacking people and becoming. way more negative online and also their. identity and their time was way more. wrapped up in having these twitter. battles. yeah were twitter battling with each. other rather than like. trying to establish some sense of. community getting your life in order. getting your health in order and using. this time like some people like action. bronson. uses time to lose 130 pounds and become. a fitness fanatic. you know and some people use this time. like you did to build your businesses up. and.
some people didn't do [ __ ] and some. people just freaked out the internet and. some people. just paralyzed they got more and more. fearful and more and more paranoid and. more and more angry. and more and more aggressive and it's. just weird. and i think if something like the aliens. came the only good thing that would come. out of it is we would realize. how foolish a lot of the arguments a lot. of the anger that we have well it goes. away once the big dogs come down yes all. of a sudden. if they all of a sudden they roll up. will smith is will smith here to help us.
i think will needs his own help he does. he needs help. he's good at content is he making a lot. of i feel he makes a lot of content that. he's making content right now. but the content the our real problem is. that. we are we don't know how to think. and we don't know how to talk and we. don't know how to communicate and so. many people are just. dumb and lazy right and they're hoping. that someone else is going to clean up. the mess. they're hoping that someone else is. going to come along and then.
there's the reality of just getting. hundreds of millions of people. fed and heat and air conditioning. and infrastructure yeah well here yeah. you know like it. is one of those things where we're just. not prepared for whatever like we're so. used to being in our own. you know world we have a narrow window. that we can operate in and. anything that goes outside that narrow. window would fall apart do you think. like lazy. laser weaponry would help us or do you. think bullets would like. nothing will help us this is gonna be. like us. showing up in tanks and dealing with.
chimps. right like what a ch what are champs. going to do we roll up in tanks they're. going to do [ __ ]. no they're not going to do a goddamn. thing they just go like this that's. going to be what it's like if they come. here. if they decide do you think they like us. pentagon. they ignore whistleblowers the reality. whistleblower says luis elizondo. on blockbuster documents on ufos. yeah this is the show the video of the. um. the [ __ ] cv what is it is this the. pyramids yeah these. these are these things that are flying.
the sky yeah they're flying you see this. three of them. they were flying and these guys filmed. it and there was. what was it over um it was over. something some. it was some navy footage but they're. using night vision they're filming it. through. a cell phone they have no idea what. these things are and they're just. floating and flying around uh through. you know they're obviously controlled. they have some sort of they're piloted. or even like things like this like this. is like. that should be triggering to some extent.
of like what what's going on like i'm. sure they've been like preparing. some kind of like uh they don't know. what to do they don't this is the. reality of it if you talk to anybody. that's actually in the. in the government they'll tell you yeah. they don't know what to do. because these things are moving i. interviewed this guy. he has the most compelling story his. name is commander david fravor right. and he was uh in 2004 which was 80 years. ago right right you know. that's my mouth no 76. 2004 was off of. the coast. it's four years ago it was off the coast.
of san diego. and uh he encountered this thing. they saw this thing that looked like. there was a ship under water. and so as they closed in on this they. saw this thing that was about the size. of this room. like 20 feet 30 feet long something like. that and it was shaped like a tic tac. and it was somehow intelligently. controlled. it faced them and it blocked their radar. which is technically an act of war right. and then it moved off. at such an insane rate of speed that.
they couldn't watch it. and then it went to their uh their they. had an established. destination point that they were. eventually going to go to that was 30. miles away. and then this tic-tac thing flew to that. spot so they took their information. yeah it was like you're going here i go. there it went directly there but it got. there in a second. 30 miles away it went from 80 000. feet above sea level to one foot in less. than a second. they have no idea how fast because the. radar blips like one second. yeah in that time it went from eighty.
thousand feet to one feet. above sea level they don't know what. difference there's so many different. ufos right well i think this is. a place where they go what's going on. here are these idiots. i still joke that i think earth i think. earth is the tijuana of outer space. right i think they come here when. they're [ __ ] up and they want to see a. show they're like what are those crazy. pink monkeys with bang sticks up to yeah. yeah and they come down here and they. watch us be stupid. they love it they're like wait give them. social media.
give them social media i think they're. probably aware that they're on. we're on the verge of destroying earth. we could. at any given moment with the wrong set. of decisions in the wrong set of. circumstances. we could blow up the earth yeah we. shouldn't blow up the earth the earth is. great. it's a pretty [ __ ] awesome spot it's. a great spot we got to stop some things. there's also. we need a lot of people to do small. little things there's also the wackiest. theory okay is that we are the product. of accelerated evolution. right that's the wackiest theory okay.
they came down here. you know with uh whether it's. australiopithecus or some of the lower. primates. right and they intervened and did some. genetic experiments and created us. right now one of the reasons why that's. so interesting is because. scientists recently just came out and. admitted. that they've made human monkey hybrid. embryos. yes so these are real things they've. done they said they did it under the. guise of harvesting organs because we. need organs so they're going to make. these human. just organ donors or yeah exactly like.
kfc making chickens with like five legs. yeah but. if you're gonna have an organ that a. grown adult can use you got to make a. grown adult. that means you got to make a grown adult. monkey human hybrid. so that you could take its liver out and. you're like what that's one. that seems like a lot for a liver i. don't know doesn't it cost like a. hundred thousand dollars to break your. arm in like america. like what what like how much is that. liver how much is this super quick. expensive but. maybe they can make it cheaper if. there's a lot of hybrid monkey people. but the thing is like. what if this thing gets out like what if.
it's a human what if it gets out like a. loudly. what if it gets a gun and you know these. monkey human hybrids go straight planet. of the apes on us. like the idea of us interfering with. lower animals sounds arrogant and crazy. so when we think about someone doing. that to us like an. animal like some some being from another. planet coming down here and introducing. its dna. into ours into what we used to be to. lower high. primates and creating a person sounds so. arrogant and crazy yeah but then you.
think of what we're actually doing. yeah with you we're doing that and. monkeys why aren't we we're doing that. so clonage. that is the oldest theory. right about the missing link with human. beings they're just like somebody. came down put a needle in yeah in fact. that was like one of the big uh that was. one of the big theories that this guy. zachariah sitchin. used to uh write about zechariah hitchen. is a guy who wrote. he wrote a bunch of books on the. sumerian text right sumerian text is the. oldest.
known you know cuneiform some of the. oldest known written language and it's. really fascinating [ __ ] because they had. the double helix. of dna uh they had they drew that in. their. depictions for medicine it represented. you never seen that. you know the thing when they have uh the. two snakes that certainly yeah. that represents medicine yeah yeah yeah. he believed that that was. representing the double helix of dna and. there's images of that. in a lot of their ancient stuff there's. images of these gigantic.
beings that are holding these weird. little monkey people on their lap. and he thinks a lot of evidence well. it's not evidence it's just about. drawings right okay you know it could. have been just someone making a comic. book. right 6 000 years ago but it could be. they were trying to tell a story. and they also had a detailed depiction. of the solar system. with all of this 6 000 years ago right a. lot of people thought the world was flat. they had it and they do today too some. people i enjoy watching people. explain that stuff that's amazing but.
they had a detailed depiction of the. solar system six thousand years ago. with the sun and all the planets. including pluto and we didn't know about. pluto until 1930. right somewhere around then they knew. pluto yeah. they drew it they had a depiction of all. the planets. jupiter mars saturn venus they we can. see it. see if you find the uh the original the. um. depictions of uh so what they think. what this guy zechariah sitchin and his. believers think is that.
they were trying to tell this story of. how some beings came from another planet. manipulated. human dna and created ah look at that. that's pretty wild so this is from. there's the sun and there's all the. planets. and that one planet all the way over to. the right in between them they. think that is this planet that they all. came from. it's called nibiru and their story. again this is a kitchen story right. right is that nibiru was on an.
elliptical orbit. and every 3 600 years it would come near. earth. and they would come around and hop off. and see what the [ __ ] we're up to. and then go back see if you can find the. depiction of uh ancient sumerians. with monkey people monkey people hybrid. because there's these weird clay tablets. that show. this like god-like creature with this. little human type. person with a tail but the person has a.
tail. oh um. which one that's an animal that's a good. question there's. so many they had a lot of wild [ __ ] they. got so many things. you know it's heart what is that that's. like that's [ __ ] you need that. that's something you can have i don't. think that's from uh sumer. but it's [ __ ] cool whatever it is. find out what that is and let's get that. for the studio look at that there's a. better one bro look at that. where's that from ancient america wow. that's [ __ ] killer that is the other. one.
what is that one right there that's the. one i need for the studio what is that. a computer image you know i don't think. it is i think it's. i think it's a sculpture an actual. sculpture. get a bookmark here's a better idea get. a bookmark of that and take that. image and make it a photo on on metal. and put it in the studio right yeah come. on son. yeah but the actual thing's probably. seven thousand years old we'd have to. steal it we'd have to steal it we could. we have the technology.
we have the technology we'd have to hire. daniel craig to sneak into daniel craig. oh my goodness i love daniel craig he's. so he's in good shape. he's in very good shape he's the best. james bond of all time agreed. i believe so come on there's no belief. well there's i think. he's the only one that sees well connory. no connor he's no good no i think he's. the best one. he's like he's the realest back then but. it's like when elvis was doing karate. yeah it's like okay yeah you know it's. like okay i think i think daniel craig. is the realist.
who's the new one who's the new one they. don't know yet they don't know someone. said daniel. ratcliffe the harry potter harry potter. is oh that would be horrible. that's what i'm that's fake news he's. horrible. but it's like that can't be after daniel. craig daniel craig looks like a. straight-up killer like. you believe that he was an assassin but. that's the thing double07 has to be able. to kill yes. you have to be he has to be in this. modern age you need. i want to go to the casino and like a. magic door. beautiful women talk to me you know like. a guy with the tinfoil teeth and the hat.
weapon. yeah bladed hat that's what's up yeah. imagine a secret agent are you a secret. agent no that seems like a lot of work. and it would be really annoying and. you'd hardly sleep. there's no sleep then you'd have to be. on sleep meds and those aren't really. good for you. get a body pillow travel with a body. pillow just to sleep well how about. those ones where your arm goes in a. tunnel. oh i need an arm tunnel just like that's. supposed to. be like seeing those things no i need. one yeah i sleep like yeah. it's like i feel like i sleep like that. cuddling with someone because it's like.
it's the idea is that it protects your. shoulder oh that's good because you. sleep. do you sleep like that how do you sleep. i just sleep you sleep do you sleep just. on your back no i don't lay on my side. you're a side sleeper i get uh sleep. apnea if i sleep on my back. yeah i snore how many times have you. have you had your nose broken oh yeah. yeah yeah but i've had it fixed you've. had effects yeah. it works great breathing not until i was. 40. right when i was. younger i mean i broke it so many times. it was basically useless. but then when i got it fixed it was like.
the world changed for me yeah i tell. everybody if you have a deviated septum. if you're not [ __ ] up oh my god get it. fixed my nose is good. all that coke cleaned it out and i. didn't i didn't burn through it somehow. that's amazing breath work is important. right oh yeah. you know brian mckenzie do you know him. no dude breath brian mckenzie. he's a breath guy what do you think. jamie oh jamie. i thought you said something i was so i. was i was trying to find that monkey. person thing. i think it's a depiction of the monkey. king from bali. no no no no no no i know that one too.
it's um. look for the different one that looked. similar but different. and then that says oh that's pretty good. that monkey king is [ __ ]. dope as [ __ ] but it's it's not that. that's a difference monkey king's tight. [ __ ] that monkey king is bad ass what's. that one in the lower right now. with the red the lower right yeah oh wow. there we go. there we go monkey king mask that's. pretty tight. no that's not it it is um anunnaki.
just google down the other path i was. trying to find out what this thing was. oh okay i found a different picture but. it's also said it was like an anunnaki. monkey hybrid. oh yeah no no no. no no there's that's that looks very. modern to me. if you can just google clay tablet. annunaki. with monkey so this website took me. pinterest as printers first just just. google. clay tablet retile your kitchen on. pinterest. sumerian tablet right right sumerian.
tablet anunnaki. oh yeah um let's save it oh what is this. site. ancient astronauts wow that's good this. africa is woke. it's like a bunch okay. um. ancient mesopotamia mesopotamia yeah. mesopotamia seems nice. it's just a bunch of articles though so.
that's why okay. if i could go if you can go back in time. anywhere any place. and and see what it was like to live. back then where would you go. joe oh that's a good question. [Laughter]. i would love i don't know i'm always so. fixated on like. like braveheart and like highlander. and just like like claymore [ __ ] and. just being like i just want to be like i. want to be like. i want to paint my face wear kilt and.
like chuck a claymore at somebody. um you know and just be like live in the. mud. yeah just run around yeah and just like. run around the highlands. i think like that kind of stuff would be. interesting and i'm like i want to just. like get my. my friends together and we're just like. we're gonna we're gonna fight the. british. we're gonna we're gonna free our country. maybe that kind of stuff where it seems. simpler like that kind of war seems like. simple. you know a battle's like every six. months yeah you gotta walk. you know a thousand miles you know and. you just chill out and relax and then. and then you're like. okay there's 300 of us four or 500 of us.
we're going to fight a thousand of you. you guys got more arrows but we're gonna. run we can run fast. you gotta planned out yeah i think i'm. just gonna go back to. braveheart i'm pretty much i'm just like. braveheart yeah braveheart. i don't know i think that would be like. why not like we have all the techno. technology in the world let's go back to. like what was what was facebook what was. the world just before facebook you know. yeah well where would you go where would. you. it would i think i would go to one or.
two things either i'll go. ancient egypt and see what it was like. when they were building the pyramids. like what was civilization like because. we lost so much of that. and like the aztec stuff yeah well the. mayans i would definitely go and the ass. test. i would i would check that out but you. know people were there. and they have some pretty detailed. depictions of those people back then. like when cortez came and. the spaniards came and yeah i would go. to. i think i would i think if i had to. choose one it would be ancient egypt but.
if i had to choose another one. i think i might want to be i might want. to see what it was like when the. settlers first encountered the native. americans when they were making their. way across north america. yeah yeah like when they first got to. texas they met the comanche right. i would i would love to have seen what. it was like back then yes. people were just riding around on. horseback shooting buffalo and then also. these. pale face [ __ ] show up like. what was that like what the [ __ ]. what was the first encounters like. between these. these did you love hostiles that movie. hostiles i didn't see it i don't think.
no no yeah dude it's amazing like um. it's about you know like two adversaries. kind of like. um one one chief is going to be brought. back to his. uh what was this what year is this dude. 2017. no [ __ ] christian bale oh yeah dude this. movie is incredible. so so so you know west uh study here. he's like you know some some like iconic.
warrior. and then versus you know uh christian. bale's character. and it's about them bringing he has. cancer so the chief has cancer. and it's about being like i'm gonna die. anyways my. i have no like no fight left i want to. just be on my land when i die i want to. die in my home. and that woman's in it what's her name. rosamund pike she's really good too. she's from like gone girl. she's a great yeah yeah she's. she was also in uh i care a lot yeah did. you see i care a lot.
no [ __ ] crazy what's the one with the. ben affleck movie too she's the one who. kills him yeah gone girl. okay she doesn't kill him right no no no. she [ __ ] what kills a bunch of other. people yeah she's good in that [ __ ] as. [ __ ] yeah she's full on psycho she's. like the new show. yeah but like more intense more intense. yeah she's and i care a lot and she. plays a psycho in that movie too she. plays a great psycho. this movie she she's like she's crushed. because her family. gets murdered they get murdered by by.
you know some native americans and and. then. they find that troop find her when. they're bringing back the chief. they come across her who's like shook. holding her like you know. shot baby still it's so heavy but that. movie is like. just slow rolling move like it's two old. kind of warriors coming to terms and. like fighting the war at the end. but they have to return like one warrior. has a return. this chief to you know or a soldier and. say. but like a soldier returning a chief to.
his land that they just. had this great war you know the horrible. [ __ ] war but it's just like you know. like. it's a great movie hostiles hostiles. because i know that. you're really into all that yeah the. native american stuff. yeah i'm just into ancient civilizations. i'm into ancient. egypt ancient africa those people would. hate us right. yeah they wouldn't those ancient like. like egypt would be like [ __ ]. slaughter. losers like what are you idiots doing. you're [ __ ] all over the place and. ruining the earth and. and they're not doing good everywhere. you go eat vegetables polluting.
just make gold necklaces and have nice. times yeah i don't know i. just would i just would have loved to. have seen what their culture was like. because we just we just guess about that. you know thousands and thousands of. years ago making these. insane structures that still hold up. today yeah just hundreds of thousands of. people just building these pyramids. pulling the stones stonehenge where they. come from where'd they come from. stonehenge is. crazy but it's not as crazy no like what. that's just a couple of rocks. the great pyramid of giza is 2 hundred. thousand stones.
and they came they didn't come from. there some of them were from hundreds of. miles away. the ones inside the king's chamber those. yeah have you been to the pyramids no. you've never been in the mirror no the. closest i've been to is uh. i've seen the mayan temples at chichen. that was pretty [ __ ] wild. that's pretty wild like you just imagine. what it was like. just being around these these structures. when they were filled with people. these people running this navigating. that life back then like in that space. yeah they were living in this society. where their their buildings were.
they were uh aligned to constellations. like they were so tuned into the stars. that well that's how they had. yeah there's earth and then the sky. right the sky must have been magnificent. you could see everything there was no. light yeah you know there was no light. you could see everything the canvas was. there let me ask you something okay. where was like. the scariest place where did you feel. like in the world traveling around where. was the place where you were like. the most scared for a person who.
can take care of himself you know like. where was a place like where you're. traveling like this is sketchy this is. like a place where i'm like. [ __ ] like you know like where was the. place where you felt most scared well. the scariest place is always the woods. yeah because you're so vulnerable like. you know if you encounter a bear or a. mountain lion or. you know that's the scariest yeah but. it's also in some ways. like the most humbling and peaceful and. and and enchanting right there's.
something about. the purity of nature where nature. doesn't give a [ __ ] what your plans are. no like when you're out there on a. mountaintop and you're out looking out. part of what's amazing about it is the. the humbling. of yourself that that comes about the. you you gain. this intense humility because you're. around. this inescapable beauty yeah and and. also this this the vast. spans of ground and the mountains and. and then you're looking out there and. these elk are fighting to the death and.
the mountain lions waiting to jack them. and then the bears waiting to scare the. mountain lion off the catch and. just too much it's scary it's wide you. just you feel so. vulnerable but it's also ironically the. most beautiful and like the most. have you gone have you hunted alone like. have you done the thing where you're. like. i'm gonna i'm gonna go out there alone. and like do like a weekend. no i've never done that no no is that. crazy town that's crazy town i have a. bunch of friends who do it all the time. like my buddy shane dorian he's a big. wave surfer he loves going on those uh.
solo hunts. he'll just go on like pack a [ __ ] go. away he brings the satellite phone in. case he breaks his leg. right and then he'll go out there and. then that's something you really have to. think about you break your leg in the. woods you're [ __ ] dead. oh my god you know and if they can't. find you by the time your phone runs out. of battery you're dead. you're gone you're not getting out no. you're dead and something's gonna eat. you. yeah and now they're reintroducing. wolves into places like colorado. and get them back in there let's bring. them back and so then you're dead even. quicker. yeah the wolves are getting lots of. coyotes we have big coyotes where i am.
and they're like it's not like la. coyotes these are like big like they're. eating boot moose and [ __ ]. they're eating some some some mooses and. some deers like. the other day we found like a whole. carcass like a. half-eaten carcass of like a whole deer. in our front yard. so we got you know whatever a couple. acres yeah. and um we got about six acres of. like forest on our property attached to. other people's forests and stuff like. that. and there's so many it was incredible. like mac was just like.
running around our front yard it was. like started like screaming like wow wow. check this out like he was so stoked he. was like check this out he's like can i. touch it. i was like whoa what's going on and then. all of a sudden as i got closer i was. like no. don't touch this yeah i was just like do. not touch this and it was just like a. [ __ ]. we didn't hear anything or anything we. just like it was just like. they ate it was incredible like they. still hadn't eaten. one of the legs and it was so weird. because it was still snowy out too so. this is like. uh you know about a month ago when there. was still snow.
and it was crazy because i i i'm. watching looking at the. you know the half-eaten deer and i'm. like there's no blood anywhere. and i was just like where was this taken. down and then so now i was like mac we. got to find like the blood. he's like what's the blood i was like. well when when animals are eating or. when we cut ourselves or whatever even. like when you get a paper cut you know. the blood that comes out it's like yeah. i was like well when this is. when this was eaten by these the coyotes. there was there'd be a lot of blood. somewhere. so there's gonna be a lot of blood on. the snow so we're let's walk around the.
property. and so we were like walking around it. was like my daughter my wife. and my son and we're just like cruising. around and then trish was the first. she's like it's over here. and then there's this like all the fur. all the blood. and mac was so interested it's so crazy. he's five. and he's so obsessed with eyes and if. people are alive or dead. like if he was to meet you he's like are. you alive and you're just like oh i'm. alive. but he's just like he's like have you. ever died and it's just like he's so.
like kids are so funny with the [ __ ]. that they say. and he'll just be like he's like let me. see your eyes he's like you got a lot of. blood in here because he's obsessed with. like these. blood vessels like he'll always be like. take a closer you know you can just keep. zooming in on your phone. he's like i'll zoom in on his eyes and. he's like let me look let me look. he's like and he just like loves like. it's so weird what kids love. and what they're interested in seeing. them learning things too right. well the thing too is like we're. bringing them up it's funny because like. my wife is italian uh irish right.
and so her mother very religious you. know and. and none of our kids are baptized we're. not bringing them up with any kind of. religion whatsoever. and it's an interesting thing because. like. he'll watch like tv shows and they'll. mention like things about god or i'll. say like. oh my god or whatever i'll say things. like that and and he's just like what is. all that and i was just like well some. people believe in that there's like a. higher power and like there's like a. soul. and there's all these kind of things and. i was just like. um you know it's an interesting thing to.
talk to like young kids about that. because they really soak it up right. and i'm just like learning like not to. talk too much about stuff. some stuff but like but like the trisha. she loves talking about everything with. them that's such a it's so interesting. to see her. like really engage and like describe. like what like murder is. or describe like you're watching. something he's like what is that and. like tricia would be like well that's. when like somebody like kill somebody. and they don't they didn't like them and. then they killed them and it's not good. to kill anybody though. and you're just like what's happening.
what's crazy is like you're. he's only been alive for five years yeah. just think about yourself five years ago. you're basically the same guy yeah you. know there's not much difference between. me five years ago on me today. no you know it's but a five-year-old kid. five years no person no jack [ __ ] and. now he's asking you about eyes and are. you dead. yeah you know he's like putting it all. together yeah it's wild. it is like i just love like the i don't. know they're so. funny kids like i'm just like i really. enjoy.
like just hanging out with like you know. like it's one of those things where i. was just like. i always knew that i like wanted kids. and like wanted this stuff. but i was just like i don't know how it. will fit in with my you know. whole thing right like it's such a. different thing where like you're your. own individual. your relationship with your wife and. your partner and then like your children. and how does that all work and like. louis ck gave me some real good advice. once about that he said just let it. change you. yeah it's a wisdom in a sentence. just let it change you yeah yeah. i always that's what happens too it just.
changes you it's a wave. but it's like you were talking about. before were you trying to hold on to. your identity of being a partier. yeah you know that was your identity you. know there's a lot of people that have. this idea of who they are. and then all sudden they have children. and then it they change. it changes you it it has to it makes you. like so hard and so soft at the same. time. you know what's really sad when it. doesn't change you yeah because i know. guys where it doesn't change them. and those guys are sad and they they. they drift away from their family they. get divorced.
they don't raise their kids and it's. just like there's a. disconnect i can't imagine that it's. just unimaginable yeah it's unimaginable. i can't imagine. not love it like yeah not loving the. kids. it's like it's it is a crazy thing. because it's like the. the craziest thing too now that we're. just talking about kids but but it's. just like. the one of the things that makes me. crazy or not crazy. but the the the the growth of the love. yeah and the connection because it's. like one of the i said i mentioned.
that earlier where it's just like when. and we did very intense home births. beautiful very lucky to have like you. know no breaches or no nothing and they. were very. you know trish did all the work but what. do you do if there is a breach if you're. doing a home pregnancy do you just get. her to hospital quick. yeah like we we have like one midwife. and we did a doula for the first one and. then we. literally didn't have anybody it was. just like me and the midwife for the. the for rizzo and aussie and then so. yeah if something goes down then you. just ha you call the ems.
and then you have a thing yourself close. to the hospital still. uh no well at the farm we're like 45. minutes. oh yeah yeah [ __ ] that what if like the. umbilical cord is wrapped. [ __ ] unwrap it unwrap it get in there. with your fists. i'll [ __ ] i'll [ __ ] do anything. i'll take it out. but the the yeah [ __ ] kids but the. thing that. the thing that i was trying to say is. that the. you know like the magic of television. and like our brains are like. the second it comes out you have this an.
eternal love where you do have that. eternal love. but the love really grows where like. instantly. i felt very like connect i was like oh. my god this is a baby. and it's like one of those things where. you i it was so weird like you have to. teach yourself to. because i grew up i didn't really have. pets so i'm like i had to i was like oh. my god i have to like. what's the name of the like for the. first few days i was like what the name. is our kid again macarthur okay. macarthur you know like i was just like. had to like get into this thing of like. naming a child and like being like it. was it was just such a it's such an.
interesting ongoing thing where you're. like. now mac is is is such a [ __ ] you know. powerhouse. but it feels surreal too right oh my god. it doesn't feel real like even to this. day. you know i'll talk to my 12 year old. we'll have a little conversation i'm. like are you [ __ ] real. yeah like are you you really come out of. some my dna and. dude how's that possible yeah it's. possible talking and laughing. and then they exhibit personality traits. that are real similar to yours and. you're like wow. nuts my son my parents are like it is.
eerie. how mac is like you he is a he's a. fireball. and he's so sweet and he's so like it's. just like one of those things. from coke yeah i know well everyone's on. their own path too like because i. i was so i was just like you know i've. put so many like intentions. into just being like i just hope he. doesn't have that like addict blood. and i'm like he's got all my blood he's. he's me this guy is a psychopath i was. just like. hopefully you know we just give them the. tools. to to be able to make the right. decisions you know yeah like that's the.
thing is like i'm not. caught up in like you know i i i like. i'm like i want my kid to be this and i. want my kid to be that i'm like i just. want my kid to be a good person that can. make good decisions. good i think that's the best you can do. you just want your. kids to be happy human beings you know. and they don't have the the saddest. thing is when someone has. expectations for their children that. aren't their children's. hopes yeah and dreams and they force. them on their kids it ruins both. the poisons it [ __ ] up the relationship. that you have. i've seen it with with friends where. their dads are upset at them because.
they're not living the life that the dad. want to form like hey [ __ ]. you know like you're my dad you're not. you don't own me you're not my owner. yeah i didn't have to be here. yeah i didn't ask you are you here you. got to let your kids be who the [ __ ]. they are man. yeah and you can't help them too much. either no you got to you got to stay. away. you got to let them find their own. little path well that's the thing if you. do. you know if you hold their hand too much. not good i even said. i was like trash yeah i really want you. know like 19. they're out they're out of the house.
like whether go buy your own coke. yeah go go crash your own cars do. whatever you want to do but get out of. here because i was just like. that's my biggest thing is like i want. them to live their life i want them to. make mistakes. i want them to fall down i want them to. be able to learn how to pick themselves. back up. i want like where it says like i come. from you know. we make a lot of mistakes you know and. there was no one there i had a lot of. beautiful support mentally but like. there's no like. financial support from my family or.
anything like that really you know so. stay up there in canada what if they. lock down harder what if they keep going. the rest of the world's free. i don't know like [ __ ] my farm's pretty. tight i got enough land. like [ __ ] i grow vegetables it's pretty. [ __ ] tight like it's pretty cool. dude i'm like so like that's the thing. yeah like i can grow enough vegetables. to feed my family. all year round you have animals up there. too not yet do you wanna. i i don't know it's a lot of. responsibility and just with my time. yeah just like one bison i don't have.
that much property a couple bisons or. something you have a couple bison and. then you can feed those [ __ ]. you could eat one of them for two years. dude bison is so incredible. i [ __ ] did a show where we went to a. bison ranch. and we got to ride four wheelers. alongside like a herd. and it is thunderous like to to ride on. these four-wheelers with this bison. rancher. and it was like the most beautiful thing. ever and all of a sudden he was just. like just. you got to stay they will come at you. because you're a moving target too.
right so like there's even a threat yeah. well it's just like you're a machine. they know that you're not a bison and. but but riding along. it was like 250 bison oh my god and like. he was like check this out he's like. just follow me. and he and i was like okay and he's like. getting closer and he starts going. faster. and all of a sudden they just start. start running and start running. and then all of a sudden he's like and. he [ __ ] has this big noise making. thing and he lets it off and all of a. sudden it's like. and they're going they can run like 60. miles an hour almost holy [ __ ] so it's.
just like they're. it's so fast like i had to like reef on. the four-wheeler just like. keep up with these bison this pack of. bison or heard of bison. and it was like the most intense why'd. he keep saying bison. what are you saying bison bison bison. bison. i say bison it's not a there's no e-y-e. in there. i'm from canada what do you say i say. i'm a bagel guy too oh. boy you got problems yeah see no i say. bagel. i'm a bagel guy you see it's a [ __ ]. bagel man i know.
it's bagel i said the exact same way. you get a bat you put a i'm a milk i'm a. malcolm you put your bagel in a bag. i can't you buy three of them at a. [ __ ] time milk milk. milk mal mao like malcolm. i don't know i got like a speech. impediments you don't have a speech. there's no a's no take off eh [ __ ] a. [ __ ] get [ __ ] straight [ __ ] well. dude we're uh we're at the three hour. mark believe it or not. this is three hours yeah we did three.
hours. i have to piss so i know you guys can. tell i see you shifting around. my little [ __ ] pecker is just. bursting out my foreskins like tied. up oh my god well it was a lot of fun. man. joe rogan i've been experienced is that. what they say at the end. no but now that you did i hope nobody. else does experience. dude we talked about it dude we talked. about a lot of [ __ ]. i appreciate it i enjoyed it very much. hey. i appreciate you man good dude you're a.
fun guy thank you. and uh tell everybody how they can. listen to powerful truth angels and how. they could see your youtube stuff and. all your jazz well you know you could go. to maddie maths and. i think just just google maddie madison. in the sub youtube. subscribe like [ __ ] you know is that. on youtube as well powerful powerful. truth angels yes. its own page we always got 10th oh no we. just beat yeah we're over 10. 000 subscribers joe congratulations yeah. well we're going to get a plaque soon. probably. uh yeah i'm doing really well actually. joe so thank you so much.
yeah i don't know how to find me google. me i don't [ __ ] i'm the worst plugger. i'm the anti-plugger i don't give a [ __ ]. i'll plug you because i think you're. awesome i really do enjoy your shows i. i enjoy your cooking i enjoy your. enthusiasm and personality. you're fun dude man i really enjoy it. we'll do this again we'll do it again. we'll do it again we'll come back soon. we'll do it again we'll come back soon. [ __ ] it we'll do it live. i'm [ __ ] let's go.
[Music]. you.
