Joe Rogan Experience #1547 - Colin Quinn

i had a move to texas. to get you on this podcast i tried. forever to get you in la you said no. chance. not true oh okay every time we see each. other we just. yeah i was always like i'll get out. there one of those days. i'm glad i waited this long it's kind of. i can save her i can appreciate it. ah i'm savoring it right now if i was on.

one of the first podcast i'd be like. yeah i was on joe's and i was on this. one this is like you know. you're getting you're getting the. respect you deserve now i see. um wha what is it like in the lockdown. for you. you still live in new york yeah i live. in new york is it weird. yeah i mean it's i i was telling. everybody it's uh you know it's. it's very it's not like new people like. oh it's like new york in the 70s now the. 70s was a whole different vibe. and but now it's all boarded up stores. the store in my corner like the corner.

bodega basically. just closed and it was uh you know it. was around for a long time. and you know it's it's depressing like. you're on the subway there's only a few. people on. and it still smell it smells as bad. they've been cleaning it every day and. it still stinks. it doesn't even smell bad that's how. ingrained it is. and um you know the. the pigeons are homeless because antifa. took down all the statues so they have. no place to live. and um yeah it's a very it's a very.

uh weird place you can't say like people. that say it's like the 70s like no the. 70s it was like. it was the 50s and the 60s and the 70s. like it didn't change much it was. seedy and weird but it was always like. that. this is a drastic change from six months. ago. you can't say it's like the 70s because. it's not it's like a. something's deteriorated there's a. collapse right and then there's. all this weirdness that comes along with. that well the 70s was kind of a collapse. but it was a different type so. like in the 70s all the stores at night.

would be locked up but they were open. during the day. so at night if anybody was out after. night at night that was on them. but i mean but it was not like now it's. just 24 you walk in that deserted. streets there's nobody out you know what. i mean. have you always lived in new york. depressing yeah yeah so it so it was. sketchy in the 70s oh my god yeah i mean. i did a whole. i did a whole show about it basically. but i mean it was basically. like we impart one of the jokes from my. own new york story was. that and it wasn't a joke it was if you. walk down your block. because there's no cell phone so if you.

walk down the block from the train after. nine at night. people would lean out the window and be. like genuinely surprised like good for. you. you made it home if you if you stayed. out after nine like times square. people would go to broadway shows by 11. o'clock. it was deserted except for criminals. because people would. leave broadway show they wouldn't go out. for a drink or dinner they would get in. their car and get out. immediately and giuliani's the one who. cleaned all that [ __ ] up giuliani. cleaned it up yeah isn't that amazing. that guy gets no respect now no i know.

you know he went a little crazy but. he really he he did what no politician. has ever done in any. in history which is he said i'm going to. transform this and he did. he turned it around yeah he really did. he really did maybe a little too far. like it may have been a little too full. time square became like a mall. yes times square is very uh uninspiring. it became like a big applebee's but. that's yeah. that's exactly that's exactly what it's. like and. you know even though like now i look.

back and i'm like oh taxi driver new. york it was edgy it was fun. but at the time it was no joke people. you know. i glamorized it through rose-colored. glasses but it was serious yeah that's. the thing about. crime in crime ridden areas like people. always glamorize it after the fact but. if you're living there while it's going. down it's [ __ ] terrible. yeah yeah i mean most people love new. york once he took over in the 90s people. forget that. yeah that everybody was just like oh i. can go out at night oh i can work i can. you know i'm in before that. it was it was crazy and i used to. bartend around times square.

and i mean i the stuff you saw you know. was just brutal you know what i mean. well one of the things we're finding out. from this lockdown is that it really is. important who your mayor is. it used to be important he didn't really. care people didn't. care who the mayor of l.a was half the. people didn't even know that's right and. now they're like who is this. [ __ ] that's keeping everything. closed. yeah yeah and the same thing with new. york oh yeah. from day one a lot of people like and. now everybody hates it. but this is his second term yes he got. reelected.

oh he swept both elections that's. hilarious you know. and now we're finding out yeah oh he's. he's a [ __ ] yeah just took. it took something where is a crisis. where you realize like this is not a. leader. and everybody hated bloomberg for. running a third term they wish to add. him for a fifth now. yeah remember he's like oh he's forced. himself right for a run for a third. nobody misses you know a guy like him. could he go back. can he run again because he can't be. president no one's. not going to vote for president but um i. don't know he was so terrible in the.

debate. it's so funny because the thing about. bloomberg that disappointed me as. president was when he was mayor when he. first got elected mayor i was uh. daryl hammond had to bail on some show. he's supposed to do so at the last. minute they asked me to do a favor and. do. a guest shot at the show which i go up. really didn't go that well but it was. you know i did what he was asked me what. kind of show what was it a stand-up show. but it was just a show for bloomberg. yeah bloomberg was trying to get the uh. the olympics here or something the only.

i think he was the olympics. so he asked me to you know the daryl. supposed to show and he had something. else. so i ran over and i lived in midtown i. ran over literally ran over. did the show in front of the olympic. committee or whatever the committee was. i think it was olympics. and you know like 30 people in this. uncomfortable room. and then afterwards bloomberg shook my. hand and i knew he was already a. billionaire and he goes i owe you one i. go thanks thanks he goes no no no. why don't you say that i always repay my. debts. i owe you one so i was kind of hoping to. be president and then i could call in my. chit because i never did the whole time.

he was mayor. i realized he was busy i let it slide. but he still owes you though huh. yeah you got it on a ledger somewhere no. but i just have my oral. i i believe in the or i have the oral. history oh yeah i mean i thought it. it came right out didn't it yeah yeah. it's not like i got it oh yeah. so maybe if he becomes can you become. mayor again how does that work. can't be president again can you be. mayor again i guess you can yeah why not. there's probably no lawyers well. governor california. that jerry brown guy he became governor. again that's right. yeah so if you can be governor you've.

got to be mayor like he was governor. in like the 90s like the early 90s i. think. i i think in the 80s because i think. johnny carson used to make those jokes. for smoking crack didn't he win again in. dc for being mayor yep. yeah yeah marion barry yeah there you go. i wonder how many terms he did though i. wonder if there's like a limit on how. many terms you could be. you're more politically minded than i am. like do you i don't know that kind of. stuff though no. how many terms can you be a mayor. because someone like bloomberg has got. to come back in and clean new york city. up.

because it's you're not going to get. there with this social justice warrior. attitude that de blasio has it's just. going to lead to. more complete deterioration of that city. yeah but it may. it may be too late you never know too. late. you never know i mean nobody likes to. think in new york that way but it's like. a lot of people so many people moved. that i was shocked moved to the suburbs. that i was like wow this is serious. like i didn't really believe it just. because i'm so new york like. i just i don't even think in terms of. leaving new york even even though you. know.

it's irrevocably changed to me before. any of this happened but so many people. moved out i was like this is getting. serious what did you think about that uh. altitude jerry seinfeld little. feud about new york is dead [ __ ] you. know it's yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean. look. you can argue either side of it and be. right you know what i mean like i don't. want it to be dead. but at the same time i'm not going to. pretend it's not in deep trouble. yeah so i mean i don't know how it gets. out. that's what my worry is i know unless.

kovid gets. cured and then ari shafir thinks artists. are going to start moving in again but. that's. he's one of those guys right he's got. that you know because you need to be. gritty or. new york city needs to be creative right. and now these guys. yeah but never been mugged that's why. never really had the [ __ ] beat out of. them. yeah you do need a couple of those in. life you just need to know that it's. possible you need to be like. ow what does gritty mean to you let me. tell you it's it ain't a [ __ ]. it's not midnight cowboy that's a movie.

yeah real gritty is you get stabbed and. then it gets infected. yeah and then you're in the hospital for. six months yeah you need to at least. ever. had had regretted laughing because. you're holding your broken rib at least. for six weeks in a row. you're like is this ever gonna get. better. yeah it's um that gritty [ __ ] is like. boy yeah. i see what you're saying i kind of get i. know yeah some places. are gritty they're fun yeah no it's it's. fun and like i said when i'm watching. taxi driver i'm like yeah i miss new. york. but i mean i would work i remember.

walking through times square. we don't have to ask what i was doing at. 12 o'clock at night by myself 1980. 81 and literally they had like. thieves dens above the porno theaters. they had thieves dens. so like they go through they had a. little turnstile i went in one once with. this kid. he was taking me if i forget we were. trying to do something shady i'm sure. and he went we went up and it was like. 50. like thieves like like like oliver.

only new york like a gang of people with. you know illegal goods trading illegal. goods right on 42nd street. wow it was crazy so you see gangs. running down. if if anybody was they just swarm. somebody. take their stuff leave them on the. ground and just keep going the thing. about it is though. the the disrespect to the police right. now. right it leads it to a very difficult. situation of trying to bring it back. it's like that didn't that wasn't the. case in the 80s and 90s people respected.

the police. like when they when giuliani brought it. back there wasn't this. overall nationwide resentment of the. police force like we're having now which. is. pretty unprecedented well i mean there. sort of was in new york. actually at that time there's a couple. of incidents where you know but yes not. like this. this is a difference this is a a luxury. that people are labeled to indulge. themselves by by putting all. you know lightning rod sort of you know. what i mean like. the police to me it's like a proxy war. you know what i mean everybody knows.

cops. everybody knows cops are nuts we all had. the friend that you grew up with you're. like whatever happened to him. he became a cop he became a cop but. but you know no one denies that part i'm. even cops know that. yeah about themselves but that being. said it's easy for everybody to just go. okay like i say proxy war so all. the bottled up racial resentment in the. country. and it's like the people that have to. actually go and say hey listen here's. what has to happen. they're going to be the they're going to.

be the fall guy for that and that's. you know i mean that's what this is in. my opinion well you know what it is it's. like social media only captures the. things that are viral right with the the. things that you're going to watch are. only going to be viral. and the ones that go viral are the ones. that are really bad. yeah i mean nobody wants to see no. there's no viral videos of a cop pulling. a guy over and having a laugh with them. and. so uh listen man you're going 63 and a. 55 just do me a favor slow it down all. right sir i'm a big fan of the police. thank you sir i appreciate you. appreciate your hand bye take care.

no you instead you have some yeah. [ __ ]. grabbing some black woman and pulling. her out of the car and body slamming her. and. like these [ __ ] they keep doing. this right but you could have. millions of interactions with cops yeah. and you're only going to see. one and you decide that all cops are. pieces of [ __ ] when there's. these hundreds of thousands of cops that. are great guys they're just doing a. really difficult job and trying to keep. it together. but one or two a week yeah is gonna go. bad and that's all you need to know and. everybody thinks that the world is.

falling apart because you see those. videos. and those videos get two three four five. million downloads and. and everybody just thinks that all cops. are terrible people it's just it's not. the case. right no exactly but try telling people. that and they think you're a comp. apologist yeah they said you're a piece. of [ __ ]. yeah you're a white supremacist right. right right yeah stand down and stand by. that's right what the [ __ ] was that. what trump did i tell the white. supremacists to stand down and stand by. and it's one of those moments where.

you're like you know. it's basically the like the one thing. you wouldn't. it reminds me like not like nero. fiddling while wrong burns i feel like. it's when. all the roman center is going so what. are you going to do now nero and he. starts taking the fiddle out of the case. and like no he's not going to [ __ ]. is he going to fiddle right now this is. he's really [ __ ] kidding right but. you were saying earlier we were talking. outside that he had just called the kkk. what did he just i didn't say that. somebody else oh somebody else was out. there saying that he called him a. terrorist group.

right didn't didn't he say that like i. don't know is that the case. jamie someone out there was saying. someone in the law i forget who said it. he called the kkk a terrorist group like. the week before. or labeled them was that truth i don't. know about wording it that way is. correct. i don't think he called them that let's. see what he said he again he didn't. he didn't call them that the white house. label oh the white house labeled the. materials. he didn't say it somewhere or whatever. right yeah but that opportunity it was. so funny like he's telling joe biden. i want you to say law and order you. can't even say it you can't even say and.

he didn't say it. right and then he said you know i want. you to denounce white supremacy and then. chris wallace is like. mr president do you denounce white. supremacy i i tell them to stand down. and stand by like. uh people that were like his strategist. probably like what the [ __ ]. yeah he's like he's like stand by. he's like whoa hey come on i don't wanna. go that way what about yes. all you gotta do is say yes i denounce. white supremacy of course that's all you. had to say. see but that's why you should be. moderating this debate because you could.

be. physically grabbing both of them and. saying listen here's what's going to. happen now instead chris wallace like. excuse me guys what what up. you know i mean he's not you need alpha. you have to be able to physically walk. up to the podiums and. put people well that's what i was saying. they don't want big john mccarthy. they need the ufc referee big john. mccarthy the famous big giant dude he. could handle that [ __ ] he would tell. people to sit the [ __ ] down he was a cop. yeah he knows how to like control i did. i would be laughing. the problem with me i would be like oh.

my god what a [ __ ] show i would turn to. the camera i'd break the wall i'd be. like ladies and gentlemen. yeah you just got a real [ __ ] problem. there yeah. folks you may want to tap out on this. country yeah i'd be like jesus. canada doesn't look so bad right now. yeah i know that justin trudeau is kind. of a [ __ ] but uh they said a lot of. what do you mean he was a boxer. was he yeah well i already was. i played basketball a couple times i. don't call myself a basketball player. well maybe he's the kind of boxer where. they're like hey listen that's the prime. minister's son so. if he hits you just flinch don't hit oh.

one of those i don't know yeah there's a. lot of that going on. yeah i've seen that before no i'm sure. he actually i do. he did have a boxing match he's a little. too handsome for my taste. yeah i don't like it either beautiful. man it did blackface at least 30 or 40. times that's right. didn't he in canada it's different i. think it played like indian people or. something. oh that's right black it was like. brownish. yes it's indigenous faces yeah it is. kind of funny like. first nations white faces like no. problem at all right. good luck yeah you know you could be.

white face no one cares. can you play a redhead if you're not a. redhead is there any shame in that. well would you want to is the first. question but second of all. if someone had to do like the andrew. santino's story but i don't know andrew. santino he's a company. very funny yeah but pilbar is uh he's. baldness it's too ball to be called yeah. it's like it's hard to call him a. redhead now who would like character. okay. carrot yeah that's a that's the most. famous. like clearly i mean it's in his name. carrot top yeah.

right could you be is there any shame in. that. no no no why nobody ever owned redheads. no i did because there were a lot of. irish slaves right. yeah back in australia the whole thing. was irish yeah. yeah yeah were the original red heads. well it's probably from the. scandinavians the vikings had a lot of. redheads like eric the red. oh right that's the only reason i think. vikings had redheads the guy's name was. eric the red. hmm probably had a red beard and blonde.

hair probably covered in blood too right. oh my god those [ __ ] you ever. go to you see those people in iceland. that win those strong wind competitions. yes they're the remnants of the vikings. they are. enormous human beings that live in the. frozen north where the vikings lived. the only thing i know is the word. berserk comes from them berserkers. yeah they used to come down and go. berserk you know what they used to do. they just take mushrooms. they did yeah that was their big thing. they would take mushrooms and. slaughter now wait a minute where they. get mushrooms up there.

i thought mushrooms are from south. america no mushrooms are from. all throughout europe mushrooms all. throughout north america. they're native to a lot of different. climates well. they would preserve them too they would. get them in the summertime and then. they'd preserve them in the wintertime. but. i'm 99 sure that was a part of the. history of the vikings is that they. would uh they would take a lot of. mushrooms. well when when i was growing up i mean i. consider myself the early. here we go uh fly all garrick mushroom. yeah that's the amanita muscaria the.

first account of vikings going berserk. because they ate magic mushrooms was. hypothesized in 1784. by a christian priest named oddman he. came. to a conclusion that connected the. berserkers to the fly algeric mushroom. because he read that siberian. shamans did the same thing when they. were healing. hmm that that show vikings yeah you see. that show. fun show they take mushrooms in that. show but the um. did vikings eat mushrooms let's see that.

see that that's they connected to the. amanita muscaria red and white mushroom. so that's not the same mushroom in the. viking. movie or the viking television show it. looks like they're taking. psilocybin some scholars proposed that. certain examples of the berserker rage. had been induced voluntarily by the. consumption of drugs. such as the hallucinogenic mushroom. amanita muscaria. or massive amounts of alcohol but here's. my problem. is that when i was growing up we ate a. lot of masculine which is basically. mushrooms and organ you know.

it was like chemical what's that sort of. masculine is. yeah but masculine is that's i think. it's more it's in the stimulant category. even more so that's going to prove my. point when you're eating masculine acid. any of this stuff mushrooms. you don't tend to want to get violent. that's true but. if you live in a completely violent. world. right and you took mushrooms i don't. think it would turn you peaceful. no an attorney peaceful but you might be. like i'm just going to stay in the forge.

you know these guys are going on this. stupid trip you're going to go on an. 18-hour trip to go and rampage through. some civilization. here's why i disagree it's become a. thing with fighters. to take mushrooms and fight what yeah. it's it's actually really common and the. thing is they're not really testing for. it. so there's certain fighters that are. taking mushrooms and then. competing in kickboxing competing in mma. on mushrooms on mushrooms that's the. hilarious. that's one of the greatest things i've.

ever heard well they say it makes them. way more effective and they almost can. like read things better they're locked. in better i can see locking in but you. also get trails and stuff like that this. goes on you know maybe it's how much you. take. like maybe just take a a dose that's. also you got to realize these people are. like their adrenalines through the roof. like the the effects of the mushroom is. probably very different. if you're about to go into a fight my. adrenaline was through the roof when i. was 17. now listen doc ellis of course took the.

acid that was a famous one right yeah. but that's. a good game oh yeah he's pitching no. hitter he pitched you know. yeah pushing no hitter on acid ah but. there's real there's real evidence that. though. in some circumstances psychedelics can. enhance your performance well i'll tell. you uh. i'll tell you a story when i i'll tell. you probably the third time i took acid. maybe. i was 16 and this is a fight it's it's. got violence in it but. it's not that i was uh so i was chicken. i was at a sweet 16 in brooklyn it was a.

mob it was a mob. one place by the way so you do sweet 16. this has a lot to do with. my whole life when i really look back on. it so 16 i was in love with this girl. she wasn't dating me but she was at the. party. but the way they set it up so it's like. here's a sweet 16. here's an office party they're all in. the same room. and then there's a stage down at the. bottom and here's you know. some guy that you know just got his you. know you retired from the. you know job whatever his job then you. have you know what so it's like.

15 different events of two tables each. at this place palm shores club it was. called in brooklyn. so i'm at the party with my friends and. there's this girl i'm in love with but i. haven't dated yeah. we ended up going out for a couple years. of this but so. she i'm tripping on acid and then. the one of the other groups that was. with our group. because the girl eleven sweet 16 had our. other friends there too. one of these guys sold pot to the girl i. loved.

she sold her bag of wheat so she's like. you know brooklyn she's like. look at him he beat me on the suite he. saw me like four joints. so me uh [ __ ] night in shining armor. i mean i go up to him i don't know the. guy there's long tables two. three look excuse me tap him on the. shoulder you know. excuse me um she feels like you shorted. her i'm not dating i'm just you know i'm. in love with her. she's short of john uh you showed it. around this weed so you know you might. want to. give her a couple more joints guys like.

no i didn't. turns away. listen excuse me you know. she feels you did you gave her four. joints whatever in those days you get. like six joints for a bigger five dollar. big right. maybe seven you know i said yeah i kind. of shorted it i'm still not sure to this. day if he showed it up by the way i. didn't count the. you know he was just being a white. knight i was just being a white knight. so he goes. no i didn't get [ __ ] you know just. basically like you know he has to show. his pride too he's letting this guy tap. on the shoulder a couple of times he's. with his friends.

i'm with my little friends and i go and. he goes. get the [ __ ] out of here like you know. just you know now i'm i'm starting to. annoy him you know and he's like was. this bad. he had to do that so i was like ah. jump on him stop punching him. in the middle of a giant event oh no. you're jumping. punching him that would you know a. ruckus erupts you know it's like a. a whole place so our table's going crazy. screams. you know fights and uh the grandmother.

my friend wrote a song about it by the. way the next day. and because the grandmother kicked me in. the ear my whole blood. my whole ear was caked with blood. because i'm ruining a grinder mother. kicked you in the air yeah the. grandmother while you're scrambling on. the ground i'm on the ground. he was cake with blood because you know. i'm ruining a granddaughter's c16 i. don't blame her you know. and they're breaking up but meanwhile oh. so anyway long story short i'm still i'm. tripping. so like this is like the third time i've. tripped maybe maybe the second i. i on acid i had done mescal and. everything else so.

i'm tripping so finally they dragged me. out i'm picked up like bodily. it's a mafia place remember downstairs. in the basement these two guys a couple. of young. the young mob guys you know like i could. tell they were like young thing you know. guys they didn't look like to me like ma. and stop punching me. and then they just look at me i could. tell they were just like look at this. guy is so. pathetically [ __ ] whipped they could. just tell in my eyes i was just. they're like get him out of here and. just toss me onto evans avenues a big.

street in sheepshead bay. and then my friends drove by like i'm. walking you know stumbling along. like three minutes later my friends. drove by because they left too they had. to leave. and they just could not stop laughing. i'm just standing. but here's the weird part about the. story is that. on stage was this old man who. at that moment was doing stand-up comedy. and to this day anytime i have. like hecklers i'm like that's karma. because i was the guy that ruined his. [ __ ] and he's going. come on fellas calm down i heard him say.

that and at the time i noticed because i. was like. why is there an it gets so old doing. stand-up but he's probably a guy. you know doing it at that time and she. said some knock-around joints getting. paid. getting paid and then an idiot ruins his. whole show. with a brawl over a five dollar bag a. week over. a bag of weeds which may or may not have. been shorter. and when you think about that like have. you ever done gigs like that did you. ever have to do. like a like a kid's party or anything. like that.

oh my god yeah i mean did you. you mean gigs where you just where you. just don't i mean sure haven't you ever. haven't had bachelor parties i did a. couple of those but bachelor parties. they suck yeah but at least. it's not like you ever do a gig where. you don't when you're first starting out. where you're not. you don't have enough clean material and. you walk in you go i can't. i have to cut every curse out and you. have nothing left. you realize i have nothing to say to. these people oh yeah because my act is. for nightclubs and this is not a.

nightclub it's a daytime club. yeah i've done a couple of those like. just small. events where just you feel like it. exposes every floor in your comedy it. does. it does so does small shows it does. small [ __ ] that's the beauty of small. shows they're like. a cleansing agent yes all the fat in. your act. all the fat all the cheat all the. momentum that's. just based on them all the horseshoes. curses yeah that's just all right there. and these people are looking there and. they're dressed nice and i did a car. show when i.

i think two years in it was like an. afternoon show like. 200 bucks which in those days like oh. 200 bucks an afternoon show. i went there and it was just maybe 50. and i was too. new to know that i was walking i didn't. even real like now if you walked in. people like okay this is a nightmare. here's what i got to do. that was like a really smart thing that. chris rock used to do a lot. is he would show up at the store. unannounced late. so he would go there where there was the. audience was down to like 15. 20 people and then he would go up with.

his [ __ ] that he was working on and he. would find out what's good and what was. bad. yeah because when there's 15 people and. they're spread out there's like three. here two in front of this five over. there yes. you really know what the [ __ ] is good. and what's not if you're there in front. of 300 people like oh my god it's chris. rock. everything he says is amazing you're. with your date like wow we got lucky. tonight chris rock's here yeah. but if you're there there's [ __ ] 15. people it's one in the morning like then. you find out. how much of your materials nonsense oh. my god yeah no of course i mean that's.

that's where you really. expose and it's the best any of your. best sets yeah but uh but the. negative side of it is then you listen. to the tape and you're like a lot of. that was. free association you'll see it like that. wasn't that great well that's the thing. about comedy like i feel like comedy. to really develop a good set it's almost. like it's like uh. cross training like you need to lift a. little weights but you also need to do. some jogging like you need to. do a bunch of different things and you. need to you have a big crowd. so you see if this is a set that you.

could that's really worth filming. or and then sometimes you have to have a. little crowd where they're not impressed. by you they're not there to see you. absolutely and you see if they can if. you can if this stuff it really can. resonate with people that don't even. know you. absolutely absolutely i mean that's the. the beauty the reason we're all still so. obsessed with comedy is because of these. little that it could still surprise you. every time. and still challenge you every time yeah. there's a million things where you're. like. i can't believe i know so much and i. know so little after all these years of.

doing it you know. well the the beautiful thing too is. every time you do a special you become a. beginner again. because even though you know how to. craft the material the material you have. is dog [ __ ] yeah and that it's like. it's it's on bambi legs and you gotta. you gotta. figure out a way to get it moving again. and that's why. my new theory which you're gonna like. this for the for the uh. austin comedy club is that it's down. south now because nobody can work out up. north. once it gets to be winter so it's gonna. be like baseball how all the dominicans. became ah.

well the south is where all the great. communities around here year round. because the cove it's going to hit in. new york city and shut everything down. again. yeah once flu season kicks in yeah it's. already it's never opened. comedy clubs haven't opened but they're. open outside right a few of them outside. yeah but you know how are they doing. that they on the street like what are. they doing they have yeah. or something on the street well most of. the com one comedy comes on the street. but most of them are in like parks or in. like parking lots there's a lot of parks. yeah so how do you get people to pay to. sit in a park. yeah i don't know i mean because.

otherwise i mean people could just walk. up. i mean that's stay on the outside and. listen they don't have to pay. yeah and the parking lot you always just. the problem with you in the parking lot. is. you know you could be doing great you. know there's some idiot outside the. parking lot. that could start screaming yeah like. when i was 16 i would have done you know. like. for sure yes guys. oh my god or just play andrew dice clay. really loud in your car. yeah just something to distract you give. him a good idea.

yeah i did a uh gazebo a couple of weeks. ago benefited up in uh. connecticut and uh like a wedding gazebo. yeah like an outdoor. yeah he's doing in ohio it's well it's. like a wedding chapel. outside wedding chapel that's where he's. doing his shows yeah i don't know. it's in the town square i was just doing. a benefit and uh. yeah a couple of kids drove by when the. guy before me was on and just talked and. screamed yeah ruined your joke. do you know bert kreischer sure your.

bert's doing a lot of these drive-in. shows. i know i know he is of course i go home. what was the show like it was it was. great it was 700 cars. like 700 cars now that's a lot of cars. yeah i just did it for hbo max i did. like a comedy outdoor special with a. bunch of comedians from new york. and 30 cars and it was. it went back far how did he get seven. he's doing giant players this was 30. cars and it was way back.

yeah this must be like i mean i can't. imagine how far back it must go. it goes far and they all liked their. lights and honked their horns and [ __ ]. that's right that's what they were doing. yeah. oh my god 700 yeah i'd like to now i'd. like to see that. yeah but bert's hammered too right so. he's like barely aware of what's. happening when the lights are flashing. people are honking he's having a great. time. yeah there you go video of it like this. is by the way this is. i'm 99 sure so i'm just going to say. this this is all his idea look how big.

this is. it's huge wow wow there's in philly. and he did it all across the country. takes his shirt off every show because. it's important. oh my god yeah yeah and now he has to. yeah and now he has he's like ellen. trapped right. right she has to dance every show he's. trapped. so um this is how he did it so he would. go out and do these crazy shows where. he's in the parking lot they'd set up a. stage with lights and everything oh look. at that. he's been touring the bird he's one of.

the only guys that through this pandemic. has been regularly touring. in a pretty safe way look at all those. [ __ ] cars. yeah that's crazy pretty safe way that's. kind of cool. it's actually really cool looking he. said he enjoyed it he said it was great. he enjoyed it but yeah but bert's the. kind of guy that enjoys things like that. yeah yeah you know what i mean like i. could see myself getting aggravated by. this and bert's like what's the greatest. you know he. he'll be this is all right he'll jump in. their car start making out with them you. know what i mean like.

road enjoy stuff exactly exactly yeah i. i just um i you know i miss. real comedy like mark norman said it. best. he's like this is all methadone he goes. we're all doing methadone he goes i want. a real. shot he goes i want the real hit right. in the veins. i don't want to take this methadone. these these park shows and these outdoor. shows and. and the virtual show is the worst like. that oh my god yeah that's crazy. i've watched good comics bomb on zoom. and i'm like stop.

yeah stop doing that there's no one. there you can't do that no it sounds. like it sounds like. pigeons like you don't hear laughter you. just hear this weird look. is that a laugh what's going on it's so. bad it's just not a bad. it's it's a terrible way to do comedy no. yeah it's. it's but that's again what i love about. it. is that it makes us really like you. realize. a lot of people are gonna fall by the. wayside too yeah because. the money's gonna go down thank god yeah. thank you the money's gonna go down this. time prep.

prepping people for low salaries at. austin comedy club the money's gonna go. down. you're gonna design austin comey club. for me i would love it but i'd like to. really in the room. i'd like to curate the audience how are. you gonna do that already we had a. conflict when i was telling you i don't. want those drunks in the audience you're. like i'll let them have a few drinks i'm. like no joe. you want to test them all to make sure. they're not drunk yeah because i don't. like. you're like well some drugs don't heckle. i know but then they sit there like this. and you think they listen to you and. they're also aggressive. once i when i was in cleveland i was.

yelling at the whole crowd because they. were drunk and just horrible. and it was this beautiful couple up. front guy and girl. blonde dressed expensive like i mean. they just looked like model. movie stars and i was like these people. people like this come to see a show. pop up i just yell at the crowd because. it was like hecklers is a late show you. know. and then i finished in like five minutes. later the couple got up. to go to the bathroom we'll leave one. and they both face planted. and passed out they were so hot they. didn't even know i was talking they. didn't know where they were. we finally have a rapid test so here.

like we got tested. we got the same test that the white. house uses so if a machine. do a nose swab and get a result in 15. minutes so you could conceivably have a. show. where people would show up say 40. minutes early everybody gets in line. gets tested when you get cleaned you can. get inside and have a drink. so you could do a comedy club and have. everybody with no mask on you can't you. could conceive. yes things people like even if people. get tested wear a mask like everyone's.

so. mass conscious now like when we do the. ufc. i can't do in-person interviews with the. fighters right. but i'm tested in their test that. everybody's tested you have to be tested. to even be in the building you have to. be. clean the day of to be in the building. but yet still they want everybody to. wear a mask. like that doesn't make any [ __ ] sense. no but it's also because when you live. in a. country that's built on lawsuits. everybody's like whoa that sounds like. there's 80 people going don't wear a. mask i want to see what happens. just so they can try to sue you but.

that's yeah well you'd have to sign a. waiver. well like if you're gonna get to austin. comedy club you'd have to sign a waiver. well it wasn't comedy club. i hate to say this it sounds like i'm. already abusing the system but. i think the mc should have to do the. testing they should have to be. registered. you have to be a nurse to be an emcee. you want a host you got to be a nurse. you got to get there early do that you. know a few bucks yeah you know like. host would have to like pitch chicken. wings at some place you know try the. wings. in this place well i used to bought them.

when i started coming i would bartend at. the comic strip and he would they. wouldn't let me on. because they were like no it's a. conflict of interest it was a big. ethical problem really. you had to quit your job as a bartender. to be i quit before i could audition. yeah oh. that's ridiculous but the store is the. opposite the store all the people that. work there are comics. everyone the doorman but they they. actually. like ari when i met him he was a doorman. he was yeah it became. and then there was a beautiful thing was. he eventually filmed his first special. at the store his comedy central special. so it was.

like wow what a full circle he made yeah. he's he seems more like a comedian than. a doorman if i may say. he's disappointed he was a i don't give. a [ __ ] where you sit. sit wherever this place is gritty this. place is crazy. yeah but everybody tony hinchcliffe. everybody that works there. they they well everybody that works. there as a dormant is a comic. everybody that works the cover booth is. a comic a lot of the people that work. behind the bar comics. well you guys's uh crew uh really turn.

that place around. because i was there in the early 90s and. the comedy store. i was there working you know i can't i. didn't work that much when i was in l.a. but. it was a [ __ ] well not only was it. [ __ ] monday was considered. gang night and it wasn't like um it. wasn't an inside joke. like everybody knew gang night the. gang's note was gang night so they would. have. gangs it was just this crazy atmosphere. like this. tense atmosphere every monday night was. gang night yeah it was not good when i. got there in 94. yeah i got there in 94.

it's pretty rough but occasionally it. was good like occasionally like damon. wayans would stop by right or martin. lawrence would stop by like someone good. would be there. and you'd go wow okay now i get to see a. real comic. but a lot of it was like half empty not. even. yeah yeah there's some tough use a lot. of bodaks oh yeah that's right. yeah a lot of guys that really just. shouldn't have been there and my theory. was that like. kennison had left there somewhere around. 86. right and when i got there in 94 eight.

years later it was just still. like because before that it was booming. right there was kenneth and letterman. and all these guys were there. and then when he left and he was banned. from the store. i think he took everybody with him and i. think. when i got there in 94 it was like he. was already dead and it was like the. echoes of that. that his generation had already kind of. died off. yeah well i was when i was in now i was. in l.a in 89 i guess of 90 or something. 88 89. and the improv was the respectable club.

it was what the store became. and the store was already crazy you know. yeah. and uh it was like that in 94. yeah the. agents wouldn't go there because they. couldn't get in for free. right right right because mitzi was like. i don't give a [ __ ] where do you work. yeah like if you if you were an agent. you wanted to get a table she's like pay. tell them to pay you know what i don't. believe because the whole town was an. agent she wouldn't have made a dime. yeah yeah and not only that they didn't. pay attention she would say they would. talk in the back. they did i remember i went to see a.

showcase once and they for whatever. reason. william morris had a showcase at a. nightclub and there was the downstairs. where they had people seated and the. upstairs was like this little balcony. was a bar. and it was filled with agents and they. were talking full. blast while the show was going up and i. said i'm not going up. yeah i told my age i'm like i'm not. going up there's no [ __ ] way and. depalo was on stage. and depaul is on stage and he's yelling. at these [ __ ] people that are up in. the balcony like he's he's talking [ __ ]. about them. it was terrible yeah it was like the.

worst atmosphere for comedy. and the agents didn't give a [ __ ] it was. agents assistance a lot of them they. were drinking and talking. yeah they just have to yeah they're. having a social time they're having free. drinks you know it's like this is. their opportunity to chit-chat so while. the show was going on. i mean full blown bar. level talking yeah yeah it was terrible. so that was what mitzi tried to avoid. she was like get him out of here no she. had the right. [ __ ] definitely had the right spirits i. don't know i don't even know kenneth was. i remember kennison was there one night.

rich jenny told me well you know. rest him in peace too love that guy yeah. great guy god he was good. but he knew uh he knew kennison and. kennison owed him a hundred dollars. so he went by the comedy store to get. paid he was in town he's like you know. the guy's doing great now. he's making a lot of money and it's like. 1988 89 and he goes i'm going to get. paid from i'm going to go borrow them. and he goes to the mc when kennedy gets. off i'm getting 100 bucks he owes me 100. bucks he never paid me. he's rich i'm just you know working the. road and then just then. sam you start screaming at somebody like.

okay you know that but he used to do. where he goes i'm gonna take this napkin. i want you to write down the names of. all your all your loved ones. your dead grandmother that will always. treat you know you go through the whole. you say to somebody in the audience and. go write down your dead grandmother was. always there for you. write down your uncle that paid your way. through you know. and i want you to write them all down. and then i want you to hand it back to. me because i'm gonna wipe my ass right. and he said that he said the guy just. exploded. attacked him sam's bodyguards just.

started punching you know. it turned into like a brawl at the. comedy store the guy was so mad you know. and then the mc goes to jenny maybe. she's asking 50. yeah he was uh i i missed all that i. missed the kenneth. i saw him live a few times when i was an. open miker. when i was in boston i went to see him. uh. three times while he was alive one time. was at great woods. uh and one time was uh down the cape and. then there was one other time and it was.

just uh. it was just it was interesting to see. because it was like he didn't have new. material. and he was trying to do some of the bits. from the old stuff and people would call. out the punch lines. and so then he had he had to kind of. write new [ __ ]. while he was touring you know and the. hbo special had just come out because it. was kind of a new thing back then. like there weren't a lot of hbo specials. it wasn't no no. real common thing no and he had. developed that act over years and years. and years. yes and then all of a sudden he's this.

hugely famous comedian they come to see. him and he doesn't really have a lot of. new material. yeah no that that definitely happened a. lot of guys back then where they'd just. be like. they weren't used to people knowing. their act yeah and people like i don't. hear. that's the thing about comedy musicians. people are calling out for their best. hits. yeah if you do something new they get. mad yeah comedian's just the opposite. i know it's crazy it's such a hassle but. you know it's the way it is. and especially sam's act because it was. all built up yeah and then the big punch. line so there was no.

in between yeah yeah so i got to see. like his. b level material i never got to see the. a material live. i got to see it on tv but when i saw him. live it was all. kind of like half-assed stuff yeah it. wasn't. wasn't really that good but it was also. because his crowd. was so uh annoyingly like screaming at. him. that he ended up having like you almost. couldn't develop. yeah because like you said he should. have been what chris did go in when. there's 15 people.

yup he should have done that well he was. just touring right he wasn't. yeah like he developed his comedy by. going up. late at the store right that was the. thing like going up late he put that act. together over years of struggle. and then all of a sudden he was huge and. now he's got to do these thousands of. seats. and it's not the same you can't develop. an a it's just you can but it's god damn. it's hard to develop and act in front of. thousands and thousands of people. and how about i know yeah i don't know i. don't know how you could do i mean uh.

how about the fact that him and prior. are both from peoria crazy. isn't that wild weird but he started in. houston. they said sam in houston you know him. and bill hicks all of them. did that and they said sam one time he. like tied himself to the uh. thing outside yeah the annex because. they they censored him they wouldn't let. him go up. yeah they those guys they had developed. a real scene down here in texas. they really did hicks had a real scene. in austin. hicks started out here and then. eventually went to. went to houston yeah yeah maybe he.

started in houston and went to here. eventually. that's right i think he started in. houston did houston and. austin and then he went up when he came. to die he died out here. wow yeah yeah you should call them the. houston comics that hate god. well it was odd because texas is often. thought of as being. that's why they're so obsessed with it. you know but of like i think garofalo. came out here i think she came back. during that time too right and i had a. bunch of but. because it was like a scene like i.

remember hearing that she was coming out. here because i knew her from boston. i was like wow that's kind of wild like. texas is that like it made me rethink. what texas is in my head yeah and brett. butler. was here and this was during the 80s and. this is during the kinnison era. and that was when they had uh ron shock. you remember him yeah. yeah and do you remember andy hinton. jimmy pineapple yeah. i worked with jimmy pineapple one of the. first times i ever did the houston. laptop i work with jimmy pineapple. that's crazy yeah those guys speaking of. the laws of comedy.

andy hinton used to have a joke which. you know he. goes so uh these girls having sex. younger and younger these days. i overheard my sister's friends talking. about they're they're 14. and they're having shoes having sex i. pulled her aside i said first of all. what we did was wrong. second of all telling people about it's. not going to make it better. [ __ ] today you get cancelled oh my god. yeah you'd be in real life. all female comics would start twitter.

threads about you yes. expose him but andy hinton him and ron. shock once today i said. t shawn shannon you know him he's in. there too and he told me the story about. ron shock and andy hinton were tripping. one time and you know ron shaw was you. know. he just was like kind of breaking her. and he goes. there's and then andy and goes ron. you're going to make it when they first. started he goes i know. and he goes he was waiting for him to. say it back to him you know because your. two comedians are new so you say it back.

to each other right. sure and he goes and then finally andy. couldn't take him over because. i'm gonna make it too ronnie goes sure. you are andy. they had a great open mic night back at. that last stop that was one thing about. the lab did you work that place in. houston. yeah the last stop yeah yeah it was a. great club but they had. the bar area was an open mic night and. then they had the main showroom area and. i remember i came in to do. the show there i did two shows and.

from the moment i got on stage they had. the open mic going and then when i was. by the time i was off stage the open mic. was still going. so the open mic would go to like two. o'clock in the morning they had guys. still going up like it was a real comedy. community there they really. worked on their crowd they didn't. tolerate any hacks no. no [ __ ] there they were a serious. thing it was a great place. it was a great great scene yeah that. crazy mark babbitt ran it. right that crazy fun yes yeah yeah he. was a he was a a. nut but he really loved comedy he loved.

comedy around yeah. you've got to have a nut he's like like. people think well you know that guy. wasn't the best business man like you're. not gonna get the best businessman to. run a goddamn comedy club you're going. to get nutty. people yeah yeah i know exactly mitzi. shore was a different kind of nutty. person mark babbitt was a different kind. of nutty person but all the great club. owners were all crazy. well the reason boston was a good scene. too was a great scene when i started you. know yeah i came in like 85. let's say to boston right first time. ever was because mike.

lenny clark and mike clark mike clark. the money they paid in boston was like. three or four times more than any other. place. three or four times like a gig in new. york by 80. to be the middle in boston would pay 290. or something. because lenny and mo mike was not. ripping people off like yeah mike's a. great i'm still good friends with him to. this day. i was texting with him yesterday but. perfect i love that guy. and he whatever his thing was he was. just this guy that was like yeah you.

should get paid. and it was like this valhalla you know. this and. what was regulated it was also the big. four you know what i mean. it was like the mount rushmore of boston. sweeney gavin. and rogerson yeah and uh and they were. just you know they just set a tone. everybody's up whoa you know you just. and they were big guys too they were a. big guy. lenny clark's a [ __ ] gorilla of a man. yeah these big dudes. oh yeah it was it was an interesting. play because they were men. like we thought of comedy as being like. these dweeby.

like interest but those guys were doing. coke and punching people. they were wild [ __ ] all those guys were. hammered all the time they're all a. bunch of wild people oh my god they were. insane. they brought me up to be sweeney one. afternoon at nixon he was just in the. back like this. you know like you want to be sweeties. and after it was just him in the dark. and uh just looking like it was this you. know audience with the pope. were you there during the coke days. where they would try to pay in coke. yes well not me i was already clean but.

yeah they tried they paid people in coke. all the time. it was crazy it was psychotic out there. what's the only way you get great comedy. i think it's like it doesn't last. because it's not sustainable that kind. of a business model. and then the comics never pay their. taxes they all wind up getting audited. and you stop writing because you're. coked up or you're just waiting for the. coke deal yeah yeah when they had the. the guy on the side i mean they're dylan. coke in uniform and it was nuts. yeah well that was a famous him she. heard that sorry when i went up there. and they pulled the old uh thing where.

sweeney and uh. chance went on before me and just. destroyed me. uh destroyed on a friday second show and. then i end up. literally because i remember i'm from. new york so i don't understand it's 1985. or 86. so i don't understand the culture so i. see a bunch of guys in. polo shirts with with blonde hair. deck shoes white pants i'm like oh these. must be some. spoiled kennedy guys like they look like. yuppies like they look like they're rich.

bank robbers from chelsea yes. yes but i'm looking at this audience. full of these guys in pink eyes on. shirts. well paul you know and that's exactly. and then these badasses they're savages. yes so i'm like oh sorry go cursing them. because i'm bombing so. you know we get into it they're like i'm. like i'm for you [ __ ] you. and just i go god [ __ ] [ __ ] yourself you. know i'm just giving him the thing i see. his [ __ ] [ __ ] get it go back to. you know hyannisport and go play touch. football you little. um and these guys and i start to notice.

then finally i start to notice wait a. minute. some of these guys have tattoos back in. the days when you know. i'm like these guys have like share my. tattoos i may be misreading it because i. didn't know anything about boston as far. as the. neighborhoods i don't know what's going. on there you know i just want pink eyes. on shirts and you know. facial scars crooked noses some of these. guys are pretty muscular too you know. and then long story short it got so ugly. that joe yanetti had to come on stage. from the back of the room they just go. joe go up there save it.

because they're getting ready to rush. the stage and beat the [ __ ] at me. the whole crowd but it almost felt like. and joey and he goes on stage. and he goes folks i'm from eastie. this is my friend we're going off stage. now you leave us alone. we're going and you have to explain to. them i'm from east he's from one of the. neighborhoods so. you know i'm a legitimate person and. then we just had to hide in the kitchen. until the whole crowd emptied out well. if you were a new york guy you already. had three strikes against you go off by. the stage yes i knew none of that but. yeah. they set you up too they would i saw set.

up billy crystal. well i i walked in after the fact. i didn't actually see it but i walked in. after the fact they were all bragging. about it. they set up billy crystal with like. sweeney knox. gavin boom boom boom they just had a. murderous assault. of local humor you couldn't follow you. couldn't. they're talking about [ __ ] cape cod. going down the cape. yes having khan they're talking the. boston accent everybody's dying. and then you would go up and like i'm.

billy crystal. hey how's that do you like the emmys and. they're like get the [ __ ] out of here. they did it to everybody well guess what. it's funny you say that because of the. local references. the last thing i remembered before i. went on stage i mean they're ripping. is chance sweeney. sweeney's got a mop in his head like. dreadlocks chance is playing guitar and. they're singing a song called. come back to jamaica plain. that's where i lived i lived in jamaica. plain.

yeah it was all local stuff that was a. real problem when i started doing the. road i had so much local material. because they loved local material. it was like a cheat code like you can. you can get a laugh you didn't deserve. with local material well the same in new. york you're doing that subway stuff. you're in. north carolina would just people be like. what is this so what are you talking. about the subway. so we know what it is but but it's funny. you said the after i was there for the. aftermath. because i pictured the room when an. aftermath when. you know sometimes you go into one of. those clubs in new york too but in. boston.

next and there was just broken shot. glasses thrown around the room. just chairs turned over and you're like. whoa. what happened here but it was just a. crazy business model. they would set up these headliners for. failure on purpose. all the time yeah all the time yeah and. if you didn't know. like if you were a guy from new york. that was doing the tonight show and. you're starting to do movies and you. thought you were the [ __ ]. yeah and they would let you go on stage. and they would like oh yeah we're gonna. have this guy headline he's been on a.

tonight show. and they would set you up with four. murderers yeah would go on in front of. you i don't blame them. that's how you when you're making that. much money locally you don't want a. bunch of people come. horning in and you're making you're then. but by the way i wasn't a headliner. i was just up there visiting i was. staying at tony v and dennis leary's. house. i was in the headline but they just did. it for whatever for a sport to be. keeping [ __ ]. no other place would do that if you went. to houston they would give you like a. local act would be an opener. it would be normal i mean to have good. comics but they wouldn't have headliner. after headline after headline trying to.

blow you off the stage right they did it. on purpose yeah they did it oh yeah i. know they wanted you to eat [ __ ] these. guys would do their best 20 minutes. just [ __ ] it and you would go on stage. an. hour and 15 an hour and 20 minutes into. a show where the audience was. beaten into a pulse and then these guys. would buy it. it happened to me that's exactly what. happened and i wasn't even the headliner. and here's what happened by the way i. just remembered it i was the middle. but chance goes i'd like to get home. early colin would you mind if i went. ahead of you. oh and i was like yeah okay quick dirty.

trick because i. froze show had been fine yeah so i was. like yeah fine go ahead. dirty i didn't know him i didn't know. anybody oh it was really funny dirty. trick. they did that on purpose yeah of course. yeah but it was but you know. do you really bla look here's the way it. is you're in the city you're making. great money. you know you're doing getting paid in. coke everything's set up correctly. plus you're irish so you're like who. these [ __ ] think they're gonna come. in here and big shot their way around. it's the perfect irish arrest to just go.

we're gonna show you. what a [ __ ] big shot you are the the. pleasure they got. in their souls out of watching that week. after week of course they did it. constantly. the only person i saw survived that that. gauntlet was damirera. he murdered he went up there and he was. famous enough. at the time that the a lot of the. audience was there to see him. yeah and he was working so much he was. cool as a cucumber he would go on. and his material was so goddamn so funny. so solid yeah. he went up there and he killed and i.

remember at the end of it he goes uh he. goes ladies and gentlemen i i've been. down here i've been great you guys were. okay. he went a bad audience like he just had. this. casual confidence and just yeah he he. survived the gauntlet. he tried i tried to take him out i could. see it. one of the other they set people up i. saw some crazy show i saw bill hicks get. set up there. oh wow billyx gets set up there cleared. the [ __ ] room and never stopped. never stopped swinging it was me and. greg fitzsimmons.

we were open micros at the time and we. were sitting in the back of the room at. nick's comedy stop. and and hicks started out with 300. people and he was down to maybe 40. maybe 35 40 people at the end and. everybody had just gotten up and left. and it was a row of comics in the back. laughing our [ __ ] ass off oh. it just like he he was looking up he had. some. bit about uh someone taking a [ __ ] right. so he's like. grunting over a toilet bowl and he looks. up he goes this. usually clears the room and people are.

just getting up. and and just the crazy thing about it. was. the calmness of his bombing was stunning. always like he's so relaxed while. bombing. yeah no i never saw anybody who. literally would just be a little. like he he had such a uh a zen like. attitude about. because he didn't since he was like 15. or whatever yeah yeah. and t shawn speaking they all knew him. when he first began. and they said his whole act was joke. jokes hilarious joke jokes.

like he had all this material but it was. all like one-liners. when he's 16 and 15. yeah there's a. video of him when he was really young. yeah he was real smooth and the video is. him before he's 18. he's [ __ ] smooth. and then he was like hey guess what i. want to do this a different way and i. mean he was just a. searcher you know and also when i caught. him when i saw him i saw him live a few. times he'd already quit doing drugs. yeah like he was already clean and he. just this really strange. introspective thought-provoking act.

right. and people didn't know what to make it. he really changed comedy in a lot of. ways because a lot of people imitated. him. because they they they would see him and. they would go you know comedy can kind. of be profound. it doesn't just have to be funny like. this guy made me. feel like what i was talking about was. stupid that i was done right. you know and then so a lot like i. remember in the back uh. green room in the atlanta punch line. right there was a. uh the green room had a graffiti on the.

wall. and one of the things that said uh quit. trying to be hicks. because there's so many guys that were. trying to be hicks yeah it's so common. yeah people would like tell the audience. how dumb they were. and how dumb america was and i know they. were trying to be profound. without doing all the work first that's. right that's right oh yeah i mean how. many people masquerade. uh as as you know freaking out the crowd. with their brilliance when it's just. that you're not that funny yeah you just. i mean you know.

first be funny like doctors first do no. harm. first be funny yeah if you could be. profound that's. great that's another level but don't be. up there going. hey you guys don't get it i'm bugging. i'm i'm ruining your middle class. bourgeois mentality he's like no you're. not stupid. when lenny bruce did it yes that was. shocking and he was groundbreaking don't. be acting like. yeah i mean hex with lenny bruce i would. have loved to see hicks with a podcast. god damn he would have had a great. podcast yeah he would have had a really. interesting podcast.

yeah right and he had some there were. some really interesting interviews with. him. where you know he would do an interview. and he wouldn't really try to be funny. like. that was the thing in these interviews. guys would be like half doing their act. and. sure you know he did a little bit of. that but for the most part he would. actually talk about [ __ ]. now yeah i'm going to do that for the. second half of this going to my act like. that's. that's what i was getting to i'm trying. to try to work you into that but uh. you don't have to be funny remember they. used to uh they used to do that radio. when. in the 80s at least i thought they go.

listen tell us what you set you up for. oh yeah dude the 80s i had someone try. to do that to me in like 2014. i did the bomb and tom show back then. they're like i was like what. yeah i'm talking about set yeah what do. you want to do is 2005. but it was it was the 2000s yeah in the. 80s that was the normal that was the. thing. if you said no they'd be like oh my god. this guy's going to be terrible. in bob and tom's defense they didn't. care but the producer was adamant that i. need to have specific things to talk. about to go into. right i was like what i don't i'm not.

just gonna go that go have fun. these guys are fun i'm fun just relax. yeah exactly say you flew out here how. was your flight. oh well it was pretty good but there was. a guy next to me. yeah the morning radio thing there was a. lot of guys would do their act on. morning radio sure. because nobody was recording it because. it was like yeah you know there was no. internet back then. and comedy was so new yeah that people. drive and go hey this guy's pretty funny. let's get out there i mean it was it was. there for a reason you know guys would.

do routines in. the morning yeah and it worked yeah they. got people to come out to the club and. then they would hear the same jokes. yeah at the club yeah that was the other. thing too is that nobody wrote new. material back then. nobody i know so many guys it was so. funny and they'd write. maybe 40 and that was it and they were. and they were as funny as anybody yeah. forever forever and then you fade away. but i mean uh yeah and they had fun it. was it wasn't that the material was. dated.

it was just once you stop writing that. stuff. something about you becomes dated well. their. act would get so polished it would be. like a samurai sword they would hammer. it down to just a perfect sharpness. and they would like don gavin his. [ __ ] timing was so precise. and you'd be crying he was so confident. and loose yeah. but they never left they never left. boston they stayed they had that 40. minutes and they were. they were as good as any comic that is.

ever as anybody. ever yeah and people didn't know but in. new york too. there's a bunch of guys in new york that. were just great in the mid 80s when i. started like. these guys were so funny. um i was. i was afraid you're gonna say that um. well like a guy like john heyman. hilarious. he became a writer but i'm saying he. would get up and just. so funny and he was just he was the guy. that would just sit at the bar.

only the community just clever witty guy. you know i mean he could have been one. of the greats. and everybody knew it new york had a. different thing in that the clubs were. smaller. because space was more limited so yeah. people were on top of you. so you had a lot of guys work in the. crowd because they were so. close to you you almost felt like you. had to yeah you know. yeah well i mean yeah most of the clubs. in new york were it was a lot. it was a lot of crowd work yeah which. was good and bad. it was good in the sense that you know.

it's funny to watch somebody be. you know what i mean it keeps it but. it's bad in the sense that you a lot of. people just became great at crowd work. i mean how many guys that are just great. at crowd working crowd works fun. and it's funny but you got to discipline. yourself. if you're not writing when you're going. to do a show and the stage is up there. and you're talking to imaginary people. which a lot of people do. yeah and you're like hey that guy and. then after the show when you start and. you're like. hey that guy wasn't fat hey. she was hot tits worn out why is he.

saying she was dressed like a hook. this is fake crowd work. yeah there's a lot there's a lot of guys. that do that well the crowd work is like. it's like local material it's a cheat. code. right when people think that you're. coming up with it on the spot they think. this guy's brilliant. yeah well the part i object to is when. somebody does. something every night spontaneous and. then they pretend. they stumble into it and start laughing. at themselves oh that's ugly. the fake laugh at yourself sometimes you.

will laugh at yourself yes but the. audience knows when it's not real. yeah they know they know unless they're. [ __ ]. some people some people don't know but. most people. know yeah they they might go let you get. away with it but when you're laughing at. the same the same joke. for the 50 000 time yeah. no it's great it's i mean it really is a. uh. a great thing about modern comedy is. that everybody knows you got to keep. putting out new hours. that's the great thing about modern.

comedy yeah with specials. yes well you've done an interesting. thing where you've done these. theme shows yeah now what led you to. want to start doing that which is just. you wanted to you had ideas that he. wanted to do that way like a one-man. show yeah i did i did. i remember seeing one-man shows when i. first started i saw eric bogosian do you. know him. yes i remember him he did these one-man. shows and i was like oh my god. this guy's the coolest guy yeah he's. being funny doing these characters. so i wanted to do like that kind of. stuff so i did this.

stuff in the early 90s just one minute. chose all my my free time you know. and um and then i and i watched lily. tomlin did one. whoopi goldberg did a really good one. back then and i'm watching these. one-person shows and i was like i want. to do that. and i did this one called irish wake. about growing up back there but then i. just went back to stand up because stand. up is you know how it is. it's so it keeps you from being. out of the loop mentally and so yeah. that you can't.

because it's just you know i just talked. to jerry about it all the time and. it's it's like going into the water and. just getting hit by a wave. because all the theoretical stuff like. even now here we are talking. stand up this and that it's all theory. once you're on stage with the crowd jack. ah ah you you're surviving you know what. i mean. yeah so it's like yeah i'm gonna do this. all my strategies. but now you gotta you know it's a fight. when you watch a guy. like jerry who's been doing it forever. who's such a polished pro and he's. having a tough. spot yeah it's weird it's weird to see.

we like up yep we're all still just. comics. we're all still comics it's it but. that's the beauty of it. is that the crowd is just like a wave. they'll give you a couple minutes. yeah if you oh look colin quinn's here. yeah hey he's funny. they'll give you a couple minutes and. after a while like. come on yeah they're like the three guys. i never heard of were making us laugh. and the guy i know he's not. what they're doing i paid money to laugh. exactly. and that's the beauty of it yeah because. whatever you want to say like we're. talking about bill.

whatever you want to say that's great. yeah but you still have to make them. laugh or it's not definite by definition. it's not comedy right you may be a. philosopher. you may be the most brilliant or ted. talk as they say today. but it's not common that's the. importance also of showcase clubs. where there's a bunch of comics going up. and they're not just there to see you. because if people are just there to see. you they'll laugh at things they if like. they're. just a giant fan of whoever it is uh you. know jim gaffigan yeah they go to see. jim gaffigan and jim gavin's a very. funny guy.

yeah but they will laugh they will laugh. at him but jim gaffigan will go to these. other clubs to work out too. because you have to do that as well you. got to go to a place where they don't. necessarily come to see you they come to. see a show. and you're on the show but you got to. perform yeah. yeah no exactly doesn't know their art. form like that. no musicians don't have to do that no. there's no other art form where you need. the audience. to help you write edit yeah yeah you. literally need them that's why this.

coronavirus is so brutal for community. because. without the audience you're going to. ramble on and on you know what i mean. yes. you'll go into long setups right with. little punchlines and you won't even. know. the audience will be like no no no get. to the job like you're like oh i forgot. to end this thing how can i do this for. this many years and forget. you need an ending did you did you see. cosby. at all before he won up going to jail. did you ever see him live. no i never saw him live i mean i saw him. live once. when i worked at great well i was.

actually working as a security guard. when he was there live. uh but i didn't get this i did i wasn't. a comic back then i was 19. i didn't get to see the whole show or i. really paid attention to it but. he never worked out he and he talked. about he said i i know what's funny. i know how to how to do funny like i. don't need to work out my material. so he would just kind of write and then. he would go up and do these. and from all accounts like chris rock. said it and burr said it they went to. see him they said it was. [ __ ] brilliant brilliant yeah and he.

didn't work out. like i would i would like to see what. that was like i would like to see it too. yeah jerry seinfeld. chris rock they always said they went to. see bill cosby and loved it you know. what i mean. yeah i mean i i wonder about that it's a. little hero worship too right like. you're like how much of it is. you're supposed to love it how much of. it you you love it because it's great. yeah i guess i mean if they here. worshiped him yeah. before he got oh yeah arrested everybody. hero worshiped him. i didn't he didn't i never liked it i. didn't like his act that much i mean i. thought he was.

one time i uh i did a big benefit a big. carnegie hall show was after nine right. after 9 11 and cosby was on. and it was a it was it is an interesting. night for two years but one of them is. we he asked to meet me after my set he. was here worshiping me joe in my opinion. but wow. he brought me up because he wanted to. meet me because i said so i go up and i. brought my girlfriend at the time. very you know pretty and. he i walked in with her and she had a. certain look that i could i mean you. know like very exotic looking too.

and you know dressed up and cosby. was there in sweatpants smoking a cigar. in carnegie hall. which you know only certain people get. away with she's in some dressing room. carnegie with a cigar. and he's talked to me for 20 minutes he. looked at me. for about eight seconds of the twenty he. was literally. looking but he made it a joke but it was. dead serious but he was. looking at her while he was talking to. me the whole time and we're all like. laughing like he's in on the joke. but it was so like she thought it was so.

weird. but the same night tom poppa was there. with his wife cynthia. and bill clinton was there too it was. like a big you know right at 9 11. and clinton was shot he walked around. the room he just he was so smart you. know. everything they say about him but then. he starts talking to tom papa. he starts flirting with cynthia right in. front of everybody and we're all. laughing. but he's like hey i love it. it was one of those nights fascinating. in retrospect right it was a me too. benefit in retrospect i remember i. called. bill cosby a douche bag on your show.

when i was on tough crowd because he was. uh. ahead of the time he was uh being. interviewed by. wanda sykes right and wanda was. interviewing him and he starts. chastising her for the way she's talking. right and he had sunglasses on i go that. guy's a [ __ ]. douchebag that's true and that's great. and i remember thinking like geez who. the [ __ ] am i. called bill cosby a douchebag i mean. this is like yes. i mean when was tough crowd what year am. i talking about how could you take down. 2004 yeah and i was like he's a [ __ ].

douchebag. that's hilarious i remember that when he. was like yeah you guys were amazing yeah. she was just having fun. yes and talking to him she was just. trying to be funny. and uh he chastised her for the way she. was speaking. it was crazy it was like it was real. weird like who the [ __ ] are you to tell. her. how to talk especially on tv and. especially everybody loves wanda yeah. and she's walking around the crowd. yeah and she's just working she's a. comic yes. it wasn't was nothing she did was.

offensive it was just. her talking yeah and i remember being on. the show and then i remember leaving. going she's actually. called bill cosby a douchebag like. probably. i probably shouldn't do that i feel like. a lot of people left the show saying. something like that about time. how was the show that show would not be. possible today no i mean it really was. like a podcast in a lot of ways yeah. yeah you know. yeah it really was it was it was a. [ __ ] great show though. thank you it was a great show thanks it. really was and you were the perfect host. for it too because you were.

loose enough and light enough with. everything that you can kind of keep the. glue together. yeah i mean i took as much abuse as. anybody on that oh yeah but it was. it was a rare moment where co like in. perfect name too tough crowd was a. perfect name for it. has there ever been a talk about. bringing that back oh god yeah. everybody talks about it but i'm like. where you know what i mean what about as. a podcast. ah people say that i don't know i'm not. i mean. because first of all i resented. at the time that i was like yeah they. didn't want it you know i mean like.

right who knows what i'm presenting. i'm fighting against something it's not. even part of the podcast world right and. um but then i was just like. i don't know then i'm gonna you know i. mean getting everybody together. and you know people's careers would fall. left and right. if we did it oh yeah i mean anybody on. there. would they be able to really even speak. honestly today. kind of you know you gotta have. a career that's pretty locked in already. or you gotta be on the on the come up.

where you got nothing to lose. it's the guys that are on a television. show that are [ __ ]. yeah like the guys who get a tv show or. you're really worried about losing it. right those guys can't they can't do a. show like that but back then you could. oh back then we did but there it is. colin quinn. tough crowd there it is look at that. that is that patrice. oh my oh he was the star of that [ __ ]. show well norton was great on that show. the paulo was great on that show. everybody was great in the geraldo. there's geraldo ronaldo.

and when geraldo and leary went at it. that was one of the great moments of. that show. 10 years geraldo's dead two days ago. yeah him and larry that was that was a. good one and lenny clark was there it. was just a great. setup like the way you had it it was. just a great setup patrice literally. it was basically his show as you can see. from that footage. i was a guest he was the host little. chubby jimmy look at jimmy. now in the chubby bunny looks like a fat. fool but um.

this was a great [ __ ] show man yeah. how many episodes did you guys wind up. doing. uh 200 i think wow 220 or something. i have no um can we get you to do it as. a podcast. i don't know because you could get guys. like me guys like. establish comics would do it and it. would be wild. you could still do it it could still be. done as a podcast it gets to. because like you have a guy like joey. diaz on he doesn't give a [ __ ]. you can have those guys and they will.

talk freely. yeah and people would love it oh my god. they would love it. yeah it might i don't know i mean over. the years obviously people have brought. it up to and i was like now because they. could never. do you own the name be free today no but. i got a better one. the original name which everybody took. me off of. which is the expression really more than. tough crowd tough room. and i think i can find the name yeah. anyway ooh. either way tough room's better tough. room is a podcast tough room.

why not i don't know. maybe look how many guys in new york. would do it. a lot yes easy yeah norton would do it. for sure 100. well he wouldn't be invited on but. you brought up the one name of someone. that's not welcome. on the show there's plenty of comics. that would do it. joey diaz is in jersey now oh yeah a lot. of people he's out there in the east. coast yeah he got the [ __ ] out. most people are leaving la's just a. sinking ship.

yeah everybody's leaving yeah it's sad. it is. but it's also good things move on like i. said comedy. i'm not even kidding what if it becomes. this you know. he outdoor thing everyone's gonna move. down south it could be an outdoor thing. but i think more than anything it could. be a thing where. you just i think they're gonna have some. sort of a treatment for covid sooner or. later. and it's just a matter of like look the. reason why. la was la was because everybody came out. there to do tv and movies.

right and then they wound up doing. comedy as well and then they did comedy. while they were doing tv and movies but. it was always. when i started in the 90s in in l.a it. was a means to an end. like when i came out there i came out. there to do a television show and there. was a lot of people that were doing. stand-up hoping they would get a tv show. i came out there with a tv show right. hoping to get passed as a paid regular. at the store. right and then once i was there i was. like this is weird because like. i don't really want to i was doing tv. for money and every time a new tv. project came up i was like okay. but really i had this dream my dream was.

like i would really love if i could just. do stand up. like i'm i'm doing all this stuff so i. could make a like stanhope said it best. he goes. basically we're doing tv to make sure we. have an audience so that we could do. stand up absolutely. but now that doesn't exist anymore. nobody gives a [ __ ] about tv nobody. cares. for a lot of comics if you get a tv show. it's like ah poor guy you got a show. it's like now you're now you're [ __ ]. you're right you're gonna get less money. you can't say what you want you can't. talk wild. and you never know when you're scheduled. you can't go on the road right. right and you have to deal with all.

these weird politics of. of sets now yeah it's like every set has. to be diverse you have to like the. casting is weird it's all. fake it's like you don't you're not. casting the best people you have to make. sure you have an asian character. this character where where's your gay. representation. urban gang they have to all look like. greg kinnear. but it's just nowadays you don't need.

that hollywood environment anymore it's. actually an impediment because. it comes with executives and it comes. with agents and it comes with all these. all these people that can get their. greasy hands on the formula and [ __ ] it. up they're going to tell you what to do. and what not to do they're going to pull. you aside. they're going to give you shitty advice. that their creative input's gonna be. sure dog [ __ ] well a place like this. colin quinn out here in texas you don't. have that i know. i know i love it you gonna move here. i don't know i don't know i'm such i.

mean i do. love it i love the idea of moving here. yeah and i love. i love it i'm trying to get everybody to. move here if you ever i know that's half. half the goal of having people on this. podcast yeah well i'd like to. you know if i move here i'm gonna do it. i'll be one of the i want to be one of. the early ones. i don't want to be one of the guys that. comes in like oh and now he's jumping in. the bandwagon fifth year. right yeah yeah no i don't want anyone. if i do it it'll have to be in the next. year because i can't be one of these. guys that's. you know coming in late well you're.

going to help me design the club right. maybe i come down as the designer slash. manager of the club. and uh well maybe i secretly book the. club. and people go who's the practice book in. this club right you never know like you. leave your. your we both have a person yeah you. can't have a single person that people. can call to get booked. or i've always felt even as much as i. love comedians and i. i love comedians so my favorite people i. always feel sorry for bookers. yeah because having a deal with us. people don't understand the mental. disorder you have to have to be a.

successful community. which is you have to think if i was up. there right now. no matter who is up there i'd do good. too i'm as funny as anybody. yeah and if you don't think that you. can't last it's just the sad thing. is people that think that or no one else. thinks that the other comics know. they're not good. yeah and they're like i don't get the. respect i deserve like no but you do. here's the thing about comedy everybody. gets the respect they deserve. yeah they all anybody who says you know. i didn't you know they made they made it. seem like i had to earn their respect.

you do yeah you do have to earn their. respect yeah and you get. what you deserve in this this is a. meritocracy it's the closest thing to a. meritocracy that could exist. yeah and i agree it is out of any job in. the world. it's the closest thing to a meritocracy. whenever you see a comic saying i'm not. getting the respect i deserve you're. like oh yeah no that's not true. yeah you do get what you deserve yeah. you know it's all the re. because when people are murderers. everybody everybody bows down. everybody that guy's [ __ ] great or. she's amazing right everybody does it.

well unless they're real hacks there's. hacks. it's hacks that murder yeah but this. hacks that i'll never follow. right that's killers and i i bow down. to the fact that they can be that they. can do that even though i hate them for. it. but i'll say i give them a little bit of. credit i know he's saying i know what. he's saying like. they figured out a way to juke the. system yes but in terms of like. a great comment right a comic that the. audience likes that we all respect. whoever whether guy girl gay. straight absolutely white black no one.

gives a [ __ ]. are you a killer yeah are you a killer. that's right yeah. and if you're not a killer and you think. you are it's a rough road yeah. oh yeah i don't get the respect i. deserve from this club. but you do no yeah but you do yes if you. were laying it down every night. they would all be like god damn he's. killing it but this is what i'm saying. bookers. everybody thinks they should be at that. place right then. everybody thinks she should be on stage. all the time yeah so to be a booker. you can't you're gonna make a lot of.

enemies yeah yeah. and then there's people that think that. they should be like there should be a. certain amount of women. there's right there there should be more. women on this lineup right no they. shouldn't. no if they're funny they should be oh. yeah but i look i've always said and i. still maintain this day i think it's a. difficult road for a woman i think. there's. women uh there's a lot of men that don't. want to hear women talk about politics. there's a lot of men who don't want to. hear women uh tell them. things that maybe they don't know or say. comedy in a way. like they're explaining things to the. men because a lot of men are sexist.

i think it's harder sure harder for them. to talk about sex. they they like christopher hitchens. had a uh a whole article he wrote in. vanity fair about this. back in the day it was very. controversial it was called women aren't. funny. and all these women got really upset at. him but he was basically saying. they were saying he was saying if you. want to be a woman and be comedy and. be a comedian you kind of have to adopt. male characteristics. you have to either act like a [ __ ] or. act like a guy or be butch. well i don't agree not true but it's not.

true because he's not a comedian he. isn't no no. it's not true but what is true is it's. harder. it's a harder path for a woman you have. to be. yes it is yeah and you have to be uh. undeniable a dying you have to be a. dominant personality. yeah i'm saying like a roseanne like. roseanne came out. and she was not playing right i'm gonna. you know i mean like you have to have. that energy i guess. or sarah silverman right she's carried. out her path through it she was cute. but you know it was like her she would.

shock you with her takes on things well. it was like well-crafted. yes it was she was almost like a. different out totally different but like. sam kennison. and the fact that you'd be like oh this. person's saying this and then you're. like. whoa whoa whoa you know. it was like a joke yeah yeah and she was. pretty so i would throw you off. she was charming yes yeah yeah and but. roseanne was interesting in the same way. kennison was interesting because. she became that person after she had a. brain injury. what yeah she got hit by a car just like.

kennison. i didn't know either one of them yeah. before they did stand up. yeah they their personalities changed. it's really interesting. they both got really hurt bad and when. you get really bad brain injuries one of. the things that happens is you become. ridiculously impulsive and wild and and. oftentimes violent. like that was the thing with kennison. like his brother wrote in uh the book. uh my brother sam right his brother bill. wrote a book about sam and what sam was.

like. before the accident and then after the. accident he was hit by like. i think he was hit by a pickup truck but. like really. [ __ ] up like brain injury and then he. became different person. like he was like quiet and reserved and. then just became. wild and uncontrollable same thing with. roseanne she went to a mental institute. for nine months. after she was hit by a car how funny is. that that people. have to get hit by a truck that's what. does that say about us. what does it say we're [ __ ] yeah what. does it really say.

yeah well because i believe in. in this different vein but the same. psychologically i believe you have to. be at a place where you're just it's. almost like a a existential crisis yeah. where you're like i don't care. if i bomb i don't care about. i don't i don't place enough value in. this planet that i give a [ __ ] i'm going. up and i'm talking about what i want to. talk about. it's almost like a a a level of. depression it's not a.

it goes beyond where you're just like i. don't care i really don't care because. people care about this. it's public speaking so much that there. has to be something with us that's. off where we're like i don't care or you. have to develop it over time. you have to develop that callousness. about the way people feel. about you eventually yeah yeah or you. gotta get so. good that you can no you know. that even though it's so terrifying to. bomb you could slip through those waters. and ride the wave of success well i.

would always tell people starting when. they. when they ask uh even when they don't. ask i tell them but. is you can the audience can hate you but. they can never feel sorry for you. the one thing you're not allowed to have. in comedy in my opinion. is the one thing you're not allowed to. indulge in is you can't. ever be uncomfortable right you can be. anything you could be an. [ __ ] you could be a psycho you could. be offensive you can never be. uncomfortable you're not allowed to be. isn't it weird that you could feel it.

yeah you feel it when someone's. uncomfortable you're not allowed if. somebody if you paid somebody to come in. right now and do a set for us. three they're not allowed to be like. well it's a weird setup they can say. this setup sucks you pay me for this. [ __ ] they can attack us and we'll. probably love them right. but they can't be uncomfortable right. you're paid to not be uncomfortable. right no matter what yeah you can't be. ashamed and you can't be uncomfortable. anything else you can be it is such a. strange. art form it's like they feel you they.

feel. how you feel even if the words come out. perfect with the perfect timing. they feel how you feel and they won't. laugh if you fee. if you seem uncomfortable yes yeah it's. it's it's like alchemical or something. it's just it is. it's and it's such a it's such a uh you. know. i used to always hate this even though. it's true as people decide how they feel. about you the first 10 seconds i was. like oh what the [ __ ] is that yeah. judge me 10 seconds but the truth is. when somebody comes on stage. and they they don't make eye contact.

like with the cr like they're like. either looking down or looking above yes. right away the whole crowd knows. and they're like what's this part they. are they uncomfortable you want then why. are you being a comedian and get off. stage. yeah you have to be like i don't give a. [ __ ] just like with a heckler. like people had tried not to ha ha the. heckler. it's like no no you we're living. vicariously through you in the audience. the [ __ ] at work that we can't say. that to because we'll get it fired or. get our ass kicked. you have to say that too yep you know.

yeah even if you don't say the greatest. thing doesn't the most clever thing in. the world. but it has to be basically [ __ ] you you. [ __ ] idiot. come in here trying to [ __ ] ruin this. girl [ __ ] this people love it because. they can live vicariously to that you. know well it's such a classic. person too yes the heckler such a. classic person the person that thinks. their opinion is more important than the. entire audience. gonna stand up and put a stop to it that. their ego allows them to literally. yell out to the person with the.

microphone yeah. nice shirt yeah yeah oh. it's so yeah something that was a. another beautiful thing about the store. that was terrible but. also beautiful there was no crowd. control oh yeah. no one no one took care of the crowd no. knew how to develop. the ability to handle [ __ ] yeah when. things are going sideways no one stopped. anybody no one kicked anybody out no and. then eventually they did. like in the you know like the new. version of the store. like 2014 on when i came back.

they would [ __ ] clean it out man they. wouldn't they wouldn't let anybody. like heckle anymore and i was like this. is interesting it's like these young. guys coming up. this is good but it's also bad because. yes. you gotta learn how to handle this chaos. and if you would go somewhere else. one of the things um you would go on the. road and if you would go on the road and. people would heckle you're like. like do you think i'm not used to this i. get heckled every night yes like it was. it's so. it's such a normal part of the.

experience it has to be a normal part of. the experience i agree because there's. nothing. even as a guy has been in forever when. somebody. when you watch a comedian somebody. heckles them and you see their faces. like yeah. whatever like they're star startled by. it yes what you want to see is like. okay [ __ ] number six thousand in my. life listen to me you [ __ ]. yeah you don't really want it to be like. that outraged you want to just be like. oh you [ __ ] you're like. it's part of the thing you know exactly. exactly is that great bill hicks set. where he's doing that with him you know.

that. recording remember he's like yelling at. the whole crowd like oh yeah. oh you you think and he just you reads. him the right actor you just tell he's. been doing it forever. yeah there was a lady yelled at him and. he goes he goes oh i'm a [ __ ]. he goes i got a i got a [ __ ] so i get. carte blanche. i heard a a recording of lenny bruce. from 1959. there was this guy hal william who just. died and he uh. he had all these old great recordings of. music and everything but.

this was lenny bruce recording from 1959. and he just let me listen to it once. and it was lenny bruce at a club going. just stop. listen to me here's what bothers me they. always put you people. at that table too because you're always. at that [ __ ] four four. you know four top and and you could tell. there's a couple of couples he goes. you're two couples that wanna you know. you think you're clay you're drunk. he goes and after the show you're gonna. come up and go we were helping you and i. was like that was in 1959 isn't that. crazy. because that is what they say yeah hey.

we were helping you we yelled out if we. didn't yell out you wouldn't even have a. show. yeah if you hadn't if you didn't show up. tonight i would have been screwed i. wouldn't had a show. it's funny that people actually do think. that though it's like a. comedy's kind of like a form of hypnosis. that's what i always say like when a guy. is on stage killing like if you're on. stage and you're killing and i'm sitting. there watching even though i know. i'm a comic right i let you think for me. you think it for me so you're saying. things and i'm just i'm i'm empty i'm on. i'm on the ride with you right it's. letting you think for me yeah and the. whole audience does it together like.

it's a such a weird art form where you. you we're tapping into these states of. mind. that aren't really available to other. people this this state of mind where. there's a person on stage and they're. they're. they're crafting an experience and. everyone else in the audience is sort of. going along with it if it's going well. and you and it's accentuated by the. people next to you who are also laughing. at it. i know and speaking of covert that's. what makes you nervous you're like [ __ ]. people have to be next to you to really.

to really make it work for an. hour yeah you know i think we're gonna. look past this. i think they're gonna come up with some. sort of a treatment or something. within two years we're gonna at the very. least have a. a real appreciation for what it's like. to lose this. well yes and i think that austin comedy. club. uh is i'm a little too big to just run. one club. so how many are you going to run well i. mean a chain of southern clubs. okay you know anywhere else where else. nashville yeah i've watched probably.

50 episodes of bar rescue like most. people so i understand what to do when i. go into the place i understand the. culture. of yeah not nashville because they have. zanies that's so. i'll respect a real institution like. zandy's. maybe you could be comedy club rescue. and come in with like you have to have a. hook like a polka dot suit or something. crazy. all right um. i was like i didn't like it then i was. like yeah why not. maybe blue velvet how about a chain of. like where this.

where the ceiling like in case covered. or something comes back. with a retractable ceiling so you can. have a skylight come the sky like. oh okay it's gonna be expensive but i'm. sure it's a lot cheaper than i think. outside only works in the sun the thing. about their saying about. being outside of the only good thing. about outside outside is the circulation. like people aren't breathing in your. face. like the air is not trapped but the real. the way. that outside works is like uv light and. sun is supposed to kill kovid.

well i'm going to say something i don't. care if people get sick from cold i'm. just. i want to market it so people think. they're safe i don't really give a [ __ ]. cover how about a fan this is a goddamn. business blows all the bad air away. you know what do you the guy that's. working for you know. rj reynolds in 1950 hey listen. cigarettes are bad. do you think you would live outside of. new york city ever though seriously. i mean you seem like you're inexorably. tied to that city. i mean i feel like i am but i like i.

said. a lot of my family is moving a lot of. people i know. are moving to the suburbs in the past. six months. seven months and sometimes i'm like yeah. this is. it's kind of there's something there's. something not there in new york. sometimes where i'm like. it's not it's not how i used to feel. about new york let's just put it that. way maybe it's me but i think it's the. city. how long did you go without selling. stand up how long did you go. during the covet oh four months five. months and then would you what was your.

first show. um was the uh. was the yeah the one with the cars at. the uh parking lot one that was the. first hbo max yeah. the first one was a recording yeah. really christopher stefano was on there. if you know him and he goes yeah this is. great we used to work our ass out now. you're like. working out on hbo max wow so you. you didn't warm up for it at all you. just went up and did it yeah. wow i didn't warm up but like you know i. listened to my. tapes and [ __ ] a few times you know.

that's kind of crazy. it was crazy but it's you know stand up. is it. after you've been doing it for that long. you kind of you know you can still bomb. but you're not it's a little different. plus the crowds you're not doing an hour. if i was doing an hour it's a different. ball game i did um. the houston uh improv and i did a. weekend there. after i think i did it in july so. four months five months whatever it was. four months in it was weird. me tony hinchcliffe and brian moses and.

uh. it was so strange it was like but it. felt so good and. like doing an hour is a different. ballgame it was headlining i mean i was. doing it i don't realize. what headlining yeah means yeah i mean. they paid to see you. it's a different yeah i was lucky though. that i actually. had already worked out this hour over a. year or so. so it was a real hour i had recordings i. could listen to recordings i had all my. notes. i'd go over my notes the first show was. like can i do this. and then once i did it i was like i. remember all this [ __ ] and the second.

like i might have [ __ ] up a few tag. lines or something like that but by the. end of the weekend it was like a real. show i was rolling. so did you how many times you listened. to yourself before you went on a lot a. lot. me too i always do you don't play games. i yeah i don't either i record all my. sets and i listen to him usually i would. listen to him i would drive home from. the store i would listen to on the way. home. but this is the difference between. people that really want to last if you. if you don't respect. you have to respect it enough to go hey. guess what these people in houston.

paid to see yes i'm gonna do my best it. might not be perfect. it's gonna be the best i put all my. effort in yeah then you really. you know you're doing it you might be a. little clumsy if you haven't done stand. up in five months but you're gonna do. the work that's required to get it done. and they're gonna know that you care. that's right. yeah the worst is when someone pays to. see you and. you see the person on stage with like a. notebook and like what else what else. and they don't give a [ __ ] what else oh. it's the worst. it's the worst because it's that feeling. that you don't have a sense of urgency. that these people have paid to hear you.

talk yeah and a lot of people it's like. a little defense mechanism for them like. yeah i don't give [ __ ] just to show. like i always called the joe dimaggio. principle. like when i saw uh this article once. where uh joe dimaggio was. he's like 40 years old or something he. was already in the hall of fame. and he slid into third base and there's. this kid said. you know you play so hard like why are. you doing this like you're already in. the hall of fame and this and that and. he goes. because somewhere out there there's. someone who hasn't seen joe dimaggio.

play. and i don't want to let him down yeah. it's great i remember reading that and. going. that is a great way to look at it that's. a great way to look at it. like if people are paying to see you. they're paying money. do you feel like he used that line on. marilyn monroe first time. he's probably like i don't know marilyn. but you know i figured somebody she's. like what a nice guy. cut to an hour later well his thing was. always kind of sad right like she left. him and she was banging all these other. guys and. they said that even after his after her. death he would always show up at her.

grave and leave flowers. that's sad [ __ ] yeah yeah but i also. already treated like [ __ ] didn't he like. smack her or something. did he i could be making up some horror. i'm slandering the name. of the great american hero i'm calling. joe dimaggio a wife beater. based on something i may or may not have. read i don't know maybe. i feel like you're right i just feel. like he is italian i feel yeah well. that's part of it. and i feel like he beat her and then. arthur miller emotionally abused her and. the kennedys killed her. and kenny well yeah that most likely.

that kind of stuff you do wonder you. know what i mean i wonder. you know if i had a hundred thousand. dollars on a bet. yes or no red or black i'm going with. they killed her. it certainly was a strange one wasn't it. well she was apparently she had loose. lips and she [ __ ] both of them and she. was. drinking and like i [ __ ] this yeah i. [ __ ] bobby. those are the most jack yeah but it was. like yeah. yeah but here's i don't understand if.

they killed her. they had the mob do it for him right. somebody yeah because. but the mob hated them so why would they. do it for well what doesn't necessarily. have to be the mob. i mean you think hillary clinton's using. the mob to whack all those people. no. but there is there's people out there. that'll kill people for you colin. yeah i guess they're 100 yeah they exist. yeah and they don't have a problem with. it because they've killed people before. it's not that hard it's it's shockingly.

easy to get someone to kill somebody for. you. yeah i guess for you know for money why. not if you're a president of the united. states and you got some. lady who won't shut the [ __ ] up about. blowing you in the. rose garden well or whatever nowadays. though it's a lot harder. you know what i mean because everything. gets exposed on you know. social media but i mean yeah back in. those days you get away with it i'm sure. say it to epstein. i'm sure being they killed that guy when. he's in prison yeah well in prison it's. easier well yeah they turn up the camera.

they turned off all the cameras but. still but if that was in the street 80. people have cameras epstein. hey jeff that's true maybe it's easier. to kill him in prison yeah i think it is. yeah well it's just one game that he's. dead. yeah i miss him everybody's like oh my. god. yeah the guard was just one was asleep. and one was just uh yeah. and all the cameras are broken i don't. know what happened weird. he broke his own neck strange i guess. he's really really feels bad about. having sex with all 16 year olds you. know.

yeah but i mean the minute that list. well what about jose and maxwell what's. going to happen with her that's a good. question because she doesn't go to. i don't think she goes to trial until i. want to say next month. i think she goes to try well this month. now we're in october jamie when is she. supposed to go on trial. you don't hear a word about that right. no she's getting the jack. she's in the jack ruby cell i read a. fascinating book next year next year. what the [ __ ] are they waiting for oh. yeah i'm trying to figure out how do you.

know what they're waiting for that is. crazy next year when next year. next december yeah when are they gonna. do it. why would they wait that's so weird. look they put harvey weinstein right in. the court why. why are they waiting for her that's so. strange hmm. there was a report recently that bill. clinton had a uh. an intimate dinner with her a couple of.

years back. she zane we got a talk yeah. you know is there a ledger she's just. denied bail recently. and current trial date is set for july. 12. 2021. that's a long time. that's a long time live that's the. seventh. month of july of 2021 and here we are in. october. yeah that's crazy that's so much time to. kill her. yeah well i mean nowadays it'd be easy. just you put covet.

on the side of one of the surfaces and. wait for it to sniff it not good enough. what about um it's not gonna kill her. what about uh. you were saying about the kennedy about. jack ruby oh yeah there's a fascinating. book called chaos. written by this guy tom o'neil i had him. on the podcast and. it's all about the cia and the cia's. well it's about the manson case but how. this guy. tom o'neill who's actually greg. fitzman's neighbor it's an amazing book. he researched this book over 20 years he.

started writing it. and then as he was writing it he was. writing it as an article and as he was. writing the article he kept uncovering. more and more and more information. and he connected the manson family. to these cia operatives. that would give people lsd and they. would run these experiments on people. and they think that they used the manson. family. to uh to discredit the hippie movement. and to uh experiment with what they. could do with lsd and they did it with. him while he was in prison.

and the guy that was involved in this. cia. lsd operation this is all like heavily. documented. was the same guy who went to visit osw. excuse me jack ruby when he was in jail. after he killed oswald and jack ruby. like. from this guy visiting him in jail. immediately went crazy. was hiding underneath the table was. saying that they're burning jews in the. streets and like. he had a meltdown and they think this. guy. dosed jack ruby while he was in jail.

and might have dosed him previous to. that to get him to shoot jack ruby. or to get him to shoot oswald in the. first place wow. it's crazy they connect this cia. mk ultra mind control lsd. experiments that they were doing with. this guy what is his name. jolly what was in jolly west jolly west. who is this. this operative for the cia they ran a. thing called midnight. operation midnight climax where they.

would run brothels. with two-way mirrors and they would hire. these hookers to give these johns. lsd and they would watch to see like how. they would react to. you know they would give them a drink. and inside the drink they would be acid. and these poor guys. thought they were going you know have. some sex with a lovely lady poor guys. they get. they get sex and they get a free acid. trip they don't know what see what's so. bad about it's not bad if you. know you're gonna have an acid treatment. well um what about the uh. it's a great book though it's called. chaos chaos because uh you know.

uh gabe kaplan you know he was a. comedian and uh poker player. yeah and he worked he told me one time. he goes yeah i worked for jack ruby he. worked for uh. the carousel club whatever the name of. the clubhouse he worked in the dallas uh. like what was he like because he was a. real thug because he was just like hey. get out of here like you just shoved me. you know just it was a real a mob. well dallas mob i mean did you read that. book about the. dallas mob and lyndon johnson and his. and the. no what was that book i have it on my.

phone. but i mean um the uh. it was it was basically it was like the. most compelling argument i felt like wow. like the dallas mob being involved with. whoever they were involved with. to go out and to go out and really kill. uh you know kill the guy. you know it completely makes sense here. it is jamie's got it here. betrayal and dallas yes that's it oh. goodness. jamie you know what betrayal. lbj the pearl street mafia and the.

murder of president kennedy yeah. good stuff oh my god it's great because. it connects uh. the lieutenant governor like who was not. gonna get reelected and it was all like. lbj. stuff it was really good i gotta take a. picture of that so that i can. get it later so i don't forget but but. uh. but the manson thing is um the mansion. thing's crazy. tom o'neill documents all the times they. let manson out of jail they would arrest. him. while he was on parole right where clear. parole violations. and one of them was uh that's the book.

right there. i can't tell you enough good things. about it but they kept releasing him and. one of. one of the sheriffs said that it was. above my pay grade like they told him. the cia came to them and they'll let the. guy go and they wanted him. to go out and keep doing all this crazy. [ __ ] and one of the reasons why they. wanted to do is because they wanted to. discredit the anti-war movement like the. cia. and the government at the time was. involved in a lot of like really shady. [ __ ]. right and one of the reasons why they. were doing that was because they were. trying to stop.

what they thought was this subversive. movement. sure to try to get us out of vietnam. right right. and this was a part of it i mean the. candidate thing was a part of it too i. guess really yeah you know. for sure i mean they just happen to have. the happy uh i mean this book i was. talking about is more. like the dallas mafia but i'm sure the. cia said hey if it's going to help us go. you know i mean they weren't together in. the bay of pigs so why do you want to be. together. well it's really crazy that the video of. the kennedy assassination the zapruder. film was actually put on television by a. comedian.

dick gregory dick gregory brought that. to geraldo rivera's tv show and i think. it was. 10 years after the murder something it. might have been 12. no tv show was like 74. i remember yeah. it was back when people had bell bottoms. on and [ __ ] yep and dick gregory brought. that film there it is. good night america 75. there it is wow. so let's say 75 yeah yeah march 6 75. look how blurry it is yeah.

good night yeah and so. they played the kennedy i mean because. dick gregory. what a fascinating guy he was yeah great. [ __ ] comic great comment like a lot. of people. don't even know how good he was well. time life had. this cop they had purchased this you. know uh. after the assassination in 63 and they. held on to it. all these years and they played it on. television and i remember geraldo rivera. telling people this is going to be very.

disturbing. and you could see him getting shot you. see his head going back into the left. and everybody was like wait what the. [ __ ] is going on. that's the first time and seeing him. grab his neck where he got shot in the. front in the nest. and when they tried to in the autopsy. they. they had two different versions of it in. dallas they said it was an entry wound. and then in bethesda maryland when they. looked at him there they said oh no that. was a tracheotomy. they shot him in the neck shot him in. the back shot him in the neck shot him. in the head. they were shooting at him from different.

angles yeah he was more than one person. oh yeah. yeah i guarantee yeah i mean i don't. guarantee but i'm a lot of my life. don't think that's that's the weirdest. argument when people. think that lee harvey oswald acted alone. that is one of the weirdest arguments. that. the the weird mental gymnastics that. people have to play. with themselves to to get to the. position where they think lee harvey. oswald acted alone. yeah well i'd like to see a movie i mean. jfk was good for what it was but i'd. like to see a movie about. all the people that got killed in the.

aftermath oh a lot of people. that would be a good movie there's a. book called best evidence by this guy. david lifton and david lifton was an. accountant. who was hired to do something with the. kennedy assassination i forget what he. was hired to do but he went over the. entire warren commission. and you know it's a huge many you know. many many many many pages right. and he found all these inconsistencies. and all these things wrong with it and. all these things that don't make any. sense and he realized like. they put this together to try to wrap it. up tight. and and and make it seem like there was.

an. obvious conclusion but it wasn't an. examination like an objective. examination of the assassination. because in those days the the mob and. the cia were. as powerful as any and they were not. playing. they would just tell you look man if you. do this yeah don't do this. they wouldn't even have to tell you what. was going to happen you knew what was. going to happen they killed the. president like don't do this. if we kill him you don't think we'll. kill you and so many of the people that. were witnesses wound up dead. so many of the people there's some i was.

thinking hit list. in-depth investigation into the mystery. ah belzer belzer is a nut. how funny is that how funny and he's a. conspiracy guy. always so deep but how funny is isn't. that title of his book you know because. he. lost the testicle of cancer did he his. conspiracy book is called one. lone nut that's pretty funny. it's pretty funny he had another book. called uh. ufos bigfoot and flying saucers i think. elvis. bigfoot and flying saucers that's it.

thank you that's another book that i. read of his that is an all. uh conspiracy theory book yeah no he's. all about conspiracy theories. i had a conversation with i only met him. once but we had a long conversation. about ufos and bigfoot and. aliens and he's up he that [ __ ]. believes everything. right he's like he's all in yeah some. people just predisposed to be. they love them i think they just he. knows another one like that. dan aykroyd oh really oh my god i had. him on the podcast.

he believes in everything ghosts. psychics you name it. really all that extraterrestrial all of. it everything's real. he probably thinks that crystal skulls. all of it everything. he's all in well i was like really it. was it was a weird. conversation i was like like he didn't. have any skepticism but. it wasn't like who [ __ ] knows there. was none of that. it was none of that he was all in all in. all in on psychics. all in on bigfoot all in on ufos.

he was all in he was this he was the. oldest 23 year he was on snl he was 23. was he really yes he seemed like he was. like 40. yes but i like this great guy though. i'd like to say yeah but i like this. idea of doing this uh. all the people that got killed after jfk. yeah you know i mean nothing i'm not. discrediting belcher's book but it. doesn't look like the kind of thing i. was envisioning. i wanted it written by some. investigative reporter not by a stand-up. they all got murdered parked their cars.

on train tracks. jumped off of buildings on my days off. at austin comedy i'm gonna drive to. dallas. two days a week and start researching. for the movie. one thing you do if you do drive around. there there's another thing that drove. me crazy everybody's like well the scope. on the rifle didn't even work. like what are you talking about how do. you know it didn't work right. like what does that mean because when. they've got it didn't work if you have a. scope on a rifle you just drop the rifle. that scope doesn't work. really yeah like a scope on a rifle is a.

like if you fall and this happened to me. once on a hunting trip i. fell and my rifle was off and we took it. back to the range it was off by. six inches at 100 yards with a like on a. rest. where you just squeeze off rounds it was. it was. when you knock a rifle like if you fall. down. and the rifle drops it's gonna adjust. the scope. and you're shooting a bullet you know a. couple hundred yards or a hundred yards. any little wiggle like if it's a an. eighth of an inch to the left or the. right.

you're going to be way off by the time. it gets to the target so when all these. people were saying oh the scope on the. rifle didn't even work well. like what do you talk you don't know. that right like they found this thing. sitting he could have dropped it after. he shot jfk. i think lee harvey also was probably in. on it i think he was probably you know. he's probably one of them. but i think they definitely like when he. said he was a patsy. yeah like yeah most likely. yeah he's a patsy he came in by the way. what was a better description of the jfk. assassination than full metal jacket.

that was a great one yeah my best. outstanding yes. so yeah that was really beautiful it was. the way he said it like. it was just like hey guess what yeah. life is life is hard. here's what i say about this thing also. letting. prepping these guys to be killers. and that what you're rewarding is. someone who's really good at killing. even if you shot the [ __ ] president. yeah. it's like i don't give a [ __ ] what. happened i'm just telling you this guy's. a marine. what is this guy emery lee emery really. emery.

god damn he was good he was so good in. that role well didn't they say he was. there to advise and then they just hire. a scene. play that let me hear that yeah. it's not working what we got here. is it no audio in the the actual. so sad this is a professional show here. that was. spotify yeah but look even the way they.

shot it like there's clouds overhead. yeah. dreary i bet he loved the fact that it. was dreary that day too. you got it we'll know who charles. whitman was. none of you dumbasses knows. by the cowboy sir he was that guy who. shot all those people from that tower in. austin texas sir. that's affirmative charles whitman. killed a brain tumor from a 28-story. observation tower at the university. of texas from distances of up to 400.

yards. anybody know who lee harvey oswald was. private snowball sir he shot kennedy sir. that's right and do you know how far. away he was. so it was pretty far from that book's. depository building sir. all right knock it off 250 feet. he was 250 feet away and shooting at a. moving target. oswald got off three rounds with an old. italian bolt-action rifle in only six.

seconds and scored two hits including a. headshot. do any of you people know where these. individuals learned how to shoot. private jokers sir in the marines sir. and the marines outstanding those. individuals showed what one motivated. marine and his rifle can do. and before you ladies leave my island. you will. all be able to do the same thing.

that's great dialogue kubrick was so. good what one motivated individual. he's like doesn't matter what it means. in the grand scheme of things. we're marines i'm just telling you. something for here training you but it. was such a great scene too because. kubrick is really. highlighting like what has to go on when. you're taking a regular kid and turning. him into a killer yeah. yeah like you're you're really. brainwashing them right now that was. brainwashing. yeah oh absolutely yeah they all say. they always say so good his movies were. so goddamn good.

you know he used to do like complex. mathematics in his spare time. he did yes for fun well i don't. understand what complex miss mathis is. but one time was an elevator with no. mcdonald. and we were in the elevator with these. guys because knowing donald in an. elevator is very. you know he'll just just he will. literally say the worst thing you could. say about somebody and then leave. and you left it with all the people. that's his thing one of his things. but these two guys were talking about. some complex mathematic things in the. late 90s at 30 rock and they're saying.

these. like we i don't even understand what. language it was it was a really deep. mathematic thing and then norm macdonald. who had never brought up math. or any anything like that to be in his. life goes. that and start speaking to them in this. like what sounded like tongues. and they're like oh you know uh but and. they start speaking the binary up. and he goes uh by and he starts speaking. this mathematic talk and then they leave. and then he goes to be like yeah yeah. those guys are nerds or something like. that and i was like. how do you know that how did you know.

what they were talking about. how did he know he's he's he's like oh. you know he's a nerd too. see he knows something deep like he. knows these things sometimes he's a very. smart guy. really smart yeah those guys are just. you know just pretend not to know. something. yeah that's like and then you're like. well anybody walks in a room he just. he knows what they're talking about you. know yeah he's a guy. that really should have had a podcast a. long [ __ ] time ago and i know he's. doing something now. he sent me a text message the other day. that he's just starting to do a podcast.

now. doing a podcast doing that thing we. talked about. he should have done a lot because he had. that show on on netflix but yeah he kind. of they muzzled him. when he went on the howard stern show. right and he was saying. something and he didn't want to say. [ __ ] so he said you'd have to have. down syndrome i believe that. he thought that'd be a better thing to. say. but here's the thing about norm i'm i'm. still not sure if you thought that would.

be a better thing to say. right you know because he's so smart he. might have been doing it as a double. troll. yeah no norm is capable of the double. troll was like yeah i don't want to say. [ __ ]. down syndrome eat the double troll. exactly. yes he's the master of that stuff i. randomly. wound up sitting next to him on planes. twice. on two different occasions just like i. go norm. like out of nowhere he's sitting next to. me and one time he's we're sitting there. we're talking and we're having a good. old time. and then he's talking about oh i quit.

smoking he's telling me how he quit. smoking and [ __ ] yeah. finally quit smoking and he's telling me. all these things that when he lands. he literally like he can't stop himself. runs into the airport store and buys. cigarettes. and he's lighting it as he's leaving i. go i thought you quit he was i did. but all that talking about smoking makes. me want one and he's like before he even. got out the door he's lighting the. cigarette. he just couldn't stop himself but like. he goes. all that talking he's the one talking. about all that talking.

he always puts it on you that's what's. great about it but it was he's like this. guy he talks about smoking he got me. back smoking but it was so crazy because. i was like that's great norm it's so. great you quit. and he's like [ __ ] i want a cigarette. no you always feel like with a game you. know i don't drink and i quit drinking. and it was like oh really did you drink. a lot yeah i quit i. finally had to quit you know it's hard. but i did it and they're like oh. he goes yeah because i got [ __ ]. wasted last night and i said i'm never. gonna drink again i was drunk and people.

like wait i think you quit yeah i quit. that's what i'm saying you know. last night it's like an elaborate like. abbott castella who does. exactly well the gambling too he [ __ ]. loves gambling yeah. loves it oh yeah yeah but that's a thing. like a lot of these great comics are. like really impulsive. yeah it's like something about like the. ability to say some of the. crazy [ __ ] that he says yeah it's you. have to have this. this like hot wire yeah it's just like.

yeah. you just want to touch it ah yep. oh no he's he's one for the books yeah. the the conspiracy theory thing is an. interesting. it's an interesting little uh obsession. that. a lot of people have yeah like the. wanting to uncover. these secrets they're wanting to to know. get to the bottom of things find out how. it all works who killed epstein who. killed canada right. yeah because while the kennedy one is so. it really was so amazing too is you see.

the country change. because almost like subconsciously the. whole country knew. that this was something else that was. kind of the beginning of. the destruction and downfall now you. know maybe 57. [ __ ] years ago too that's what's. crazy and there's still. yeah there's still still mystery and. it's like they got away with it whoever. did it got away with it. it's long gone yeah this idea that. everybody gets caught for things like. not not everything is an episode of law. and order no and they talk to all those.

anytime they interview those mob guys. you know they all say that stuff you. know i mean they all say yeah. well i heard this i heard that i don't. know but this is what i heard. yeah you know and i'm sure it's you know. it's a badge of honor to go yeah i know. it's happening but. still you know yeah well that was the. other weird thing about. new york for years and years and years. right is that new york was essentially. run by the mob. and gianni helped clean that up too oh. yeah he busted there well. i mean he he helped clean it up in the.

80s yeah when he was the d. he took he he did that commission case. you know what i mean crazy how this one. guy. giuliani was responsible for a lot of. the improvement in new york city yeah a. lot. oh yeah sometimes it takes one guy like. that. he was he's like the beaufort pusser of. new york city the um. because the uh taking that. taking the fish market down was i was. everybody was going he's going to get. killed. really when he went after when he became. mayor he went to explain to people the.

whole. well like you know the mob ran like like. joe saying. sanitation like even things like i was. in the restaurant union so i didn't know. you know and i just paid my dues i'm. like an idiot. and then but like all they ran the. restaurant but then. when you run the restaurant you don't. just run the bar tenders and the waiters. you run the linen supply like the mob. was linen supply. and the liquor distributors like all the. my. you know mob kids when they weren't you. know when they were just related to. somebody they'd be driving the liquor.

trucks you know it was all. it was you know and the food the meat. you know remember they had the famous. thing with uh frank perdue. and chicken and stuff so they really ran. like you know they'd run an industry but. there's like. 20 jobs that are close to that industry. where they're. involved you know and and a lot of guys. had no-show jobs. and all this don't show joe's in the. chat i had a buddy the java center. exactly you just said it. yeah i had a friend of mine who had a. no-show job at the javits center oh yeah. i knew a few people that worked over. that javits what is that look at. giuliani.

back then right right yeah. and they said the mafia put an eight. hundred thousand dollar bounty on his. head. sure it was amazing that they didn't. kill him. it's amazing that they didn't yeah i. guess i guess there was still a few of. the old-timers that like we don't do you. know what i mean. it was still that thing about the united. states like we don't kill them doing. their job i guess you know. i guess but it was interesting to try. they just couldn't get to it maybe yeah. but it was also that law that was uh.

you know that guy that it all came from. that rico. there was some professor just came up. with this law and somebody. in the da's office or somebody goes. that's a great we could use that law. i forget how it worked that was an. interesting story racketeering yeah. there's just some guy that had this. concept of a law but he wasn't it was. like upstate new york or something yeah. i mean. and that's how they got them all and. that's how they all that ended up taking. i mean they're still around obviously. you know but you ever hear that guy. michael franchesi you know who that is. i've seen him be interviewed and just. fascinated charismatic guy right well.

it's fascinating that he's just. out there running around yeah but i. guess he didn't write anybody out or. something you know. just like and i said you know that. generation is gone so they're probably. just like oh the hell with it but you. know. and what the [ __ ] was the guy's name the. the hitman for. uh for gotti that oh sammy the bulls. tammy bill gravanos. right yeah he's out too like people have. interviewed him too like long. interviews long form interviews they. said talk to him about. you know i mean he's a murderer just out.

there wandering around. yeah and he even got arrested later in. his life. for selling ecstasy yeah. well he was trying to get you know he's. trying to keep young he said it was his. hitman sammy bill garvano is now a. social media star promoting his own. podcast and showing off his cozy new. family life in arizona. 35 years after turning on the gambino. family and john gotti. wow he's 75. and he's just starting his. play he's like norm he's he's just. turning the pot they should do a podcast. again look at him there. two guys that should have done one he.

looks great he does look good. he looks great he's 75 he looks [ __ ]. great. well they always said about him was he. would go to the gym the other guys would. go out he wouldn't stay out late at. night. you know that's kind of crazy and he's. doing a podcast just like hillary. clinton. yeah murderers doing podcasts. look how good he looks though that's so. weird uh joe it doesn't look that good i. don't know why you keep saying go back. to that. go back to that picture come on if i. look that good at 75.

come on look at that he looks [ __ ]. good there you got to admit. for a 75 year old guy yeah i mean he. look. he looks using the same microphones we. use jamie coincidence he looks 65. no they're very good he looks good oh. it's just because you show a nice smile. like that. he's about 62. he looks about 62. 13. years younger than he really is that's. what i i say for that picture. yeah do you think his podcast any good. yeah would it be just i bet it's uh.

i don't know i you know i don't go on. that many i don't like going that many. podcasts. how many have you been on plus what. would he ask me let me ask you you know. these mob guys they're gonna kill. they're not the best they're not the. best comedy. maybe yes maybe him michael franchezi. could tell stories well well for jay-z. seems more like indeed you know like he. was like a. you know yeah more like a guy like we. would understand he is a very. charismatic guy. yes yeah but um. who knows sami might be you know i mean. he's got that street he's got that. street intelligence you know how many.

guys are in jail. for life from selling pot they're. watching these guys doing these podcasts. they've killed nine people go what the. [ __ ]. kind of [ __ ] is this yeah what kind of. lawyer did i have. the lawyer's like listen where's the. hundred million the bad. franchisee is 100 million missing oh. he's got 100 million buried somewhere. he's gotta look at it. nice see he looks like a former mob boss. look at that nice suit he's wearing yes. really well dressed and how did he how. was he out.

how much time did he have to do i don't. know but he did i knew he was in jail. but um but he wasn't in there for murder. he was in there for some kind of. that remember that gasoline there's a. big gasoline thing in the 80s i don't. know how they did it but it was like one. of those you know. things with the russian mob i think he. was involved with them and so yeah they. sold. billions of gallons of gas the family. would collect the state and local gas. taxes but keep the money instead at the. same time. they were often selling the gas at lower. prices. than legitimate gas stations the mid.

1980s fortune magazine listed franchisee. as number 18. on its list of top fifth top 50. wealthiest and most powerful gangsters. in the world. that can't be good for you he made. billions of dollars over the years. not only for himself but for the five. families as well by 1984. his greatest net worth was a staggering. 20 billion dollars making him one of the. richest companies of all time. wait a minute nobody's worth [ __ ]. nobody's worth 20 billion.

nobody is worth 20 billion dollars in. 1984. wikipedia is lying yeah even bill gates. wasn't worth. 20 billion dollars in 1985 franchisee. was indicted on 14 counts of. racketeering counterfeitering. counterfeiting and exhaustion extortion. in the gasoline bootleg racket. 1986 franchisee pleaded guilty on two. counts he was sentenced to 10 years in. federal prison. with 14 million in restitution payments. the guy's worth 20 billion they need. [ __ ]. so that's where the 100 billion 100.

million is so what is he doing now. first of all if he has 20 billion why is. he why is there only 100 million. buried i would have buried ten good. questions keep scrolling down on that. page. try to find the 20 billion what does it. say at the bottom i want to find out. whether that was me. when did he get out he's a motivational. speaker now. this is how you steal what is well he. got out in 89. i got re-sentenced for violating his. parole terms ah what did he do to get. arrested for tax fraud in l.a sent back.

to new york whoopsies. he started making the balance of the. court order restitution payments earlier. that year. prosecutors also said franchisee was not. considered by the government to be a. cooperating witness. that's why he's alive he was released in. 94. wow wow yeah interesting. oh yeah so he he made an autobiography. well he sounds like a [ __ ] hustler. right he's been interviewed by jim rohn. he's obviously a smart guy. he persuaded new york yankees players.

who owed money to the colombo loan. sharks to fix baseball games. for betting purposes holy [ __ ] 2003. franchisee. published blood covenant and updated. expanded life story. he's out now because i i mean he's out. out there. for 25 years but i mean he's out there. doing things i saw him being interviewed. by somebody recently on. on youtube yeah yeah because i'm sure. you know like you said he didn't. if he didn't cooperate and most of those. guys are dead anyway wait a minute. they contacted me yeah really recently.

i got a request to have them on instead. bring them on i don't know if i want him. to know where we are. good point just in case you piss him off. yeah there he is okay he's being viewed. no he's yeah but that valuetainment guy. that guy. does a very good show he's on uh on. youtube. yes he's he's very oh yeah yeah he's. very good. he's gonna have seen him yeah he's got a. bunch of uh youtube show look how. confident and comfortable this is out of.

jail. looking good nice little pocket scarf. yeah. gentlemen like it looks like a real. mobster. yeah or whatever he's at the palm shows. club that night i'll never know. when i uh was friends with fitzsimmons. fitzsimmons lived. in uh little italy and he lived right. above. the social club where uh john gotti. and and all those guys used to go he. lived right there. when i went to visit him i was like. jesus greg like he was right there.

hilarious yeah he like he he rented this. place from like the this old italian. couple. oh that's really yeah he was right there. like right now you see those guys. walking down the street. walking to the social club oh my god. they probably had him checked out make. sure he wasn't you know. like kim could be a federal agent you. know but this is simmons how's that look. if they saw us acted no there's no way. it's too funny. it's also like the those days like when. the mob ran new york it's like the mob.

ran vegas like everybody has these. romantic notions. those days but again it's just like. gritty new york city sure as long as. they weren't [ __ ] you over. exactly yeah it's all fun until you're. trying to you know. get paid like that great richard pryor. routine remember that one. what was that we're trying to oh right. right trying to get paid by the mom. you guys just laugh when he pulls a gun. out. the good old days yeah yeah. but i mean uh but yeah of course you. miss new york whatever. flavor you know you take that's what you.

miss is whatever that. other intangible thing was yeah the. madness. but uh it did get like you said times. square cleaned up it was the worst. time square was horrible i mean i hated. time everybody hated times square. and then it got cleaned up and right. away we're like yeah it looks like. disneyland. it did get to be like a big apple. because like we were saying it really. did get real. it became like uh like just real. chain yes chain restaurant i feel like. that was one of the downfalls was.

changed but. they're the only ones that could you. know i mean like small business owners. weren't going to be in. do you know they weren't able to afford. the rents yeah the small business owners. were all porn stores before that. well that was also when you got there. like caroline's changed. yes caroline's was right on broadway and. i remember caroline's at one point in. time was like you guys none of you. people are from here. like caroline's became like this tourist. trap right. you know yes like if you want like if. you did. gotham you got new york city people yeah. but if you did caroline's.

you were kidding like all tourists yeah. it was weird. from kansas and [ __ ] yeah first time in. new york well people would say that if. you want to. a good uh test of your act to see if it. would work. nationally was caroline's that's what it. became yeah because like you said it was. really tourists yeah but it wasn't. always like that. when i lived in new york caroline's was. like a real new york club i know. yeah but because they cleaned up times. square they cleaned up caroline's too. yeah because people didn't want us to go.

to times square in the old days i mean. in the 80s nobody wants to go to times. square unless you're up to some devious. behavior there's no point to be in there. is dangerfield still open. then he feels exactly the same this is. possible that it's still open. uh well maybe talk to fred chazy. he's selling gas in the back. danger feels has not changed in 35 years. i was there like three years ago i was. laughing so hard i used to. love that club no i love it you thought. because you do you could really work out.

oh nobody was there. nobody's in 30 minute sets yeah do you. remember bobby the doorman yeah of. course. bobby big old [ __ ] scottish guy power. lifter. i saw him pick a man up by his neck some. guy was heckling he grabbed the man but. he. bobby was an enormous human being. grabbed the man by his neck and lifted. him up in the air. carried him out like he had one hand on. his belt one hand on his neck. because he was such a tank he picked the. guy up like the guy was an empty. suitcase but even that's an old-school. technique for a bouncer by the belt and.

the neck just. is that the great yeah bobby yeah bobby. he he goes uh. you'd get off stage even you killed he. goes oh you tricked him again with that. bag of shite for an. act. it was a great place because i knew i. knew that kinnison. had performed there and ronnie. dangerfield did those uh dangerfield. specials there. you know i mean it was it was his spot. it was amazing but. you would go there and it was like why. is this place empty yeah i don't. understand.

yeah they made all the money in prom. season and i guess. i did prom shows there i did them with. otto and george oh otto and george and i. did prom shows. uh those were fun they were wild they. were wild. they never they never rotated the show. they would just put in. more people like and they told you they. told you to never change your act. because they wanted people to leave. so folks don't know what prom shows are. prom shows are you would get there and. this is no [ __ ] you might do a 7 p.m. show and you might do five shows a night.

so your last show might be like two. o'clock in the morning. yeah and you would leave there it would. be light out. yep i mean it was crazy it did it was it. really didn't make me. all 17 years old high school kids and. they're they're leaving their prom and. they would. get them in there on limos and pump them. into the club and. the kids were hammered and drunk yeah i. saw a kid go on stage took the. microphone away from owlu bell and blue. cigar smoke in a fit in his face i was. like jesus this is. rough this is a rough show it was wild.

man. and they were so dumb these kids they. were so stupid otto and george was on he. was [ __ ] hilarious this kid's like i. could see his lips moving. his lips are moving he was mad that you. could see the virtually. slip suit oh. he didn't even care that it was some of. the funniest [ __ ] material so. funny do you remember when uh he had a. kennedy head. did you ever see when otto and george. had a kennedy hat he you know. george the dummy he had rigged this. thing up where george's head would flap.

back and it would like expose his brain. and he was working on this thing we. would have like a kennedy head. and he said he goes yeah i want to get. it so it squirts blood so i could get. blood to squirt out of his head. i mean it was really i mean i guess. they're all like that but he has such a. sick relationship with that goddamn. george oh it was weird it was like an. episode of the twilight zone. it really was yeah it was yeah a couple. of people told stories about the time. they'd be out and. you know somebody would say something. and then otto would just go crazy and.

attack them for. you for verbally abusing the dummy well. a puerto rican guy stabbed the. stage that's right that's right i don't. remember where that was but i remember. the story i remember the story. you would sometimes have to check on the. dummy like go like open the trunk i. gotta check on george. yeah it's happening girl he was a girl. one time i forget that story but there's. something with the girl and she said. something the dummy goes he stays. with me and he went crazy and she just. ran out of the house she was like he's a. cycle. i don't really blame him do you remember. that episode the twilight zone where the. guys dumb.

talking to him yes yes yeah there's. something about. dummy acts there's some duncan trussell. used to have this dummy and someone. stole it his dummy was little hobo. and little hobo the the act in the act. the dummy was his grandfather's dummy. and his grandfather had died and his. grandfather's dying wish. was that duncan would bring little hobo. on stage one last time before he buried. him. with with his grandpa so he'd have the. dummy on stage and then the donkey would. start talking to him he's like wait a. minute how the [ __ ] are you talking it.

was like this crazy thing where the. dummy would take him over and he would. play. pink floyd he would sing along with. there it is. that's duck in a little hobo and people. did. i i took him with me to the uk and they. did not know what to [ __ ] expect. wish you were here so he would play that. song pink floyd song wish you were here. yeah and him. and the dummy would be singing at the. same time two different voices. because he had like it synced up he had. like a whole. setup with recordings and everything it. was amazing.

that's great living in a fish bowl. year after year and his eyes would roll. back in his head and the dummy would be. singing. it was amazing and people it was amazing. people believe it oh no they would. they would love it it was so good it was. such a good routine. and then someone [ __ ] stole little. hobo someone stole it. and so he had to get a new little hobo. and the new little hobo was even. creepier. he hasn't done it forever i would love. for him to do that routine. but would that be his closer yeah oh. yeah you couldn't follow a little hobo.

is it in there give me give me some. volume. we got a problem with our system i i. just thought of it i have to mute like. five different things but one last. chance on stage and dedicate a song to. my grandfather is that okay with you. guys if i do that. let's not wish you were here oh oh oh. oh that was that was that was when. someone was getting married. that [ __ ] satanist was his name. stanton levay. anton levine yeah i took a photo with.

that guy and. uh nuts online are convinced. that that's the evidence that i am a. satanist. because uh the guy took it he was doing. like the devil horns [ __ ]. and it was he was getting married and. duncan performed at his wedding and i. had to go. because he was the craziest [ __ ] [ __ ]. ever duncan was there. and they hired him to do his little hobo. routine. at this guy's uh satanic wedding so he. couldn't use what you were here he had. to use they're like you know we're more. into this kind of like heavy metal.

no no he did wish you were here that was. that was the program. the uh uh because uh yeah it's hard to. it's hard to take a satanist seriously. when. he does this the devil horns yeah you. know but he's. the father didn't go for that kind of. stuff i think he was the grandson. or the son of a fame of anton levay. i forget what it was grandson but. it's their idea of what satanism is a. little different. like you know you think oh he worships. the devil. their satanism was like hedonism.

really what it was like it was like. giving in to your carnal. instincts and this living for the moment. doing whatever you wanted to do. but i don't necessarily think now i. sound like that's the grandson. that's what the grandson said the son of. the grandson would say an apologist. they were trying to explain it to me i'm. like so you believe in the devil you. worship the devil. like what is this well they just said. it's like you know the grandfather. probably was a real deal i think it was. just they're being silly. yeah dylan versus jacob dylan jacob. dylan's talented but you know bob is it.

just it's a different. different kind of talent yeah jacob's. like pop. he's he's got great songs yeah yeah but. he's not like anton. levay where did that guy where the [ __ ]. did jacob dylan go. i don't know i met him back in the day. when uh i was filming fear factors kids. were like. fear factor fans right and they came to. watch one of the uh. episodes i met kenny g that way too you. did. they came to the episode yeah they came. to watch me film and the episodes were. like outside. yeah yeah they came to watch yeah they. came to watch like people eat dicks and.

stuff. wow yeah. there's duncan what is this. it's the evolution of oh yeah that's two. little hobos it was a wild night. oh okay so he he did some experimental. work. i see that that was like that painter uh. i forget his name but it's like yeah i. see what he's doing he had different. phases of his yeah his career. well that's the problem when you have a. closer like that then you just. you just you can't really get inspired.

to keep working because you're like. this clothes is gonna change it was. weird to follow because i brought him. with me on the road oh my god. you should have made him come back up. and do it at the end no it was awesome. it was fun it was fun that's so funny so. colin clinton what happens with you now. where do you go where do you go from. here that's the question you need to do. stand up again where do we all go from. here well. maybe um i don't know like legitimately. i don't know i mean i write you know i'm.

writing i write every day. i'm writing scripts i'm writing books. i'm doing all that stuff you write every. day. yeah do you do you sit down at a. specific time and do it or. no i don't have that discipline you know. but i make sure i write. you know but i'm like i'm sure like. every comic like i'll write. like five days in a row and i'll be like. i'm a beast i'm really i'm a disciplined. person. and then the next day i'll just be like. i just start eating and you know. watching like any like any narcos. offshoot show any show that's related in.

any way to narcos. is the greatest show to me on netflix. why do you like narcos. i just love all those shows i love fowda. you ever watched that one. the israeli one no powder that's another. netflix i only watched the first. two seasons of narcos once it wasn't. pablo escobar anymore i kind of lost. was that guy not well they did it in. mexico it was great too i heard nobody. was as good as that guy to play. papa basketball he's incredible because. most evil like even when i expected to. see pablo esquebail.

was like this guy that's like uh and. he's just playing this other thing. this dull kind of banality of evil guy. yeah who's just like looking. and then just oh boy was he an actor i. believed it though me too that's what i. mean. all in all in when he confronts those. cops. yeah on the uh on the bridge yes and. remember there's like silver. lead it's your choice and they're like. oh. take the silver oh [ __ ] the [ __ ]. yeah that's a great it's a it's just a.

again. like i had a a huge photo of pablo. escobar in the old studio huge of his. mug shot was big smiling face yeah. and people would see it in the photos. because i take pictures with the guests. in front of the werewolf with this pablo. escobar photo. and people get mad like you're. celebrating this guy like he was. terrible to colombia. like for me as an outsider who loved. that narco shows like look at this chaos. this [ __ ] guy who. controlled colombia for so many years. made so much money selling coke. but for the people that had to deal with. it it's the same as like the romantic.

notions of times square. exactly yeah it's like all and even me. who knows better. that photo but oh my god that huge mug. shot we had like a five foot version of. that at our podcast studio in l.a. that's funny because that shot and he. probably loves that shot and probably. hates that. other shot where he's as fat as a house. that that can't be himself. yeah that's not him that's him all those. pictures are yeah. he let himself go full apart well he's. just doing coke and drinking.

i mean what a party that guy led until. the end i mean he never really got the. hair under control you know all that. money. you should wear a hat what kind of hat. yeah how about that in front of the. white house. wild it's weird when you go by the white. house how close it is to the street. yeah i know it's confusing it's crazy. how is nobody [ __ ]. shot that place full of holes no they. probably bed was probably in the back. well even if it was still it's just. weird how close it is because back then.

you know you had muskets it wasn't i'd. like the bedroom up front wouldn't you. so you can look out and say hey people. don't realize the president's looking. out at you because you live wild. you live on the edge yeah right now yeah. live in the back of the white house. that's why you're never going to be. president. that's once one of the reasons yeah you. might be able to be president. you know a lot about politics probably. more than any comic i know thanks to. dave smith. i feel like i feel like i i i would be a. good president but that's. that's the first step you have to be too.

narcissistic enough that's why i'm. saying that book. you were a good president yeah to think. i could do this i have two copies of. that narcissism book if you want it. uh i like the idea better that we shave. into the green room. just to watch the fury and then we film. i mean joe. i hope we're gonna have some cameras in. this thing we filmed the anger in their. faces when they say he's gave this book. to me. i feel like you're honestly considering. moving here. yeah well i do love i do love the idea. of it do you really feel like. legitimately no all [ __ ] aside. you would move here i don't know ron.

white lives here i don't know if i would. move here. do you know ron white sure yeah he's. here but i i don't know. i don't know ron white well enough where. it would influence my movement i can. introduce you to no i mean i know him. get drunk i don't think he'll sweep my. feet no. ron white's lifestyle in my lifestyle. would not be yeah you could just hang. out while he drinks. oh no both of us i'd rather no i'd. rather do i'd rather watch. you do like like whatever violent stuff. you know like throwing spears i don't. know what you're doing on the ranch but. [ __ ] like that is more interesting to me. okay you know what i mean like all that.

i'm sure you got like archery. i'm sure you'll do fun stuff to do my. old studio i had an inside range. at a 45-yard indoor range you did oh. yeah yeah. i had a rubber elk that shoot i shoot. arrows into. are you going to get all kinds of stuff. like that of course yeah 100. it's kind of cool yeah yeah yeah the the. next place where we have a studio will. 100 have a range oh i did you meant in. the house. uh i have it in my house too right yeah.

right. no i have it at my house but i mean the. next studio i'll have a range. i like to do it after shows it clears my. mind that's good have you ever practiced. archery. yeah once really i tried it it's fun it. was fun. just something about hitting a target. suck did you like something about. letting it go yeah yeah it's like seeing. that arrow hit its mark. yes cleansing for the mind i feel like. that was i feel like there. i feel like gut the invention of guns. took a lot of the purity out of war you. know what i mean. right yeah in the old days or so but.

even archers really. think about it you're fighting with. sword you're used to a certain. and suddenly all these [ __ ] arches. that are thousands of yards back. just you know release the archers you. know and then. well the craziest [ __ ] was catapults. right yeah this launch a. ball covered flaming tar flying at you. that's how they took constantinople i. was watching this thing on that and i. was like man. those goddamn catapults they didn't. expect them you know. and they just yeah flaming ball they. just took it down they were like what is.

this. so when i do open up a club out here i'm. gonna i'm gonna send out the signal. i'm i'm gonna let you know but honestly. i would love it if you came by at least. and worked of course i would and i will. test everybody now that we got the rapid. testing we can get results in 15 minutes. i think we could do a whole crowd. in in an hour i think if you have i love. that show. and tell people to get there at seven. yes 200 people. you could do it inside an hour easy get. a staff of nurses. everybody's massed up until you get.

tested wouldn't be that hard to do. i mean yeah if even if you even have to. by then but i mean. i love the idea yeah and people want to. get there early. plus it'll get people there early. nothing worse than a bunch of latecomers. exactly then when they come inside. they can have a drink once they pass and. you can take your [ __ ] mask off and. live like a person yeah you're inside. you don't have to worry everybody's been. cleared everybody's been tested. i love it i love it too i love the fact. that right now i'm clear. you're playing about something i know it. i know it feels great it does feel great. yeah. today i think was my what did i say 37th.

test. i think today is my 37th test yeah. yeah i think it can be done i just want. them to come up with some sort of a. treatment where we could just. get but i am gonna [ __ ] appreciate. things now. i mean i do appreciate things but i'm. really gonna appreciate stand up again. when we get back to it you're gonna. savor it yeah right because sometimes it. gets to the point where you're like. i want to do good it's not that you. don't enjoy it you can't help but enjoy.

it if you're a stand-up. but you're not say you're like trying to. get to the goal. i want to kill instead of the whole. journey of like like sometimes i'll do. an hour and i'm like. i feel great afterwards i want to feel. great during it too. what if we lured you here by producing. tough room. producing and promoting tough room i. don't know. what do you think about it i'll think. about it for sure thank you really well. because if you did it as a podcast i. think it would be [ __ ] giant. i really think it'd be giant i think if.

we take the time and really think about. it and organize. really good guests like organized guys. like joey. diaz guys like greg fitzsimmons funny. [ __ ] people have them come in. they're gonna do stand up at the place. yes they'll do stand up at the place and. and do it just like you did cut tough. crowd when you have subjects in the news. you bring it up and you have a table. full of great comics talking [ __ ] yeah. like a podcast yeah i'll think about it. for sure please. think about it well i will all right.

that's great listen man. i'm glad you made it here thank you it. was an honor it was it was a pleasure it. was really yeah. we we do it again we'll do it absolutely. okay we'll do it again and when the club. opens. i want you to be there like one of the. first weeks please great i would love it. all right yeah i love it all right all. right do you have social media do you. have all that jazz yeah twitter. but i mean my instagram i haven't even. promoted my book oh uh. tell everybody about your book my book. is uh called overstated it just came out. it's a roast of the 50 states basically. so it's basically talking about the.

united states right now. and we've all been to i've been to 47 i. haven't been to 50 maybe i've been to 50. i've been to 47. i haven't. i've been to the dakotas in wyoming i. was just to say that i haven't been to. the dakotas of wyoming. wow that's exactly what i was going to. say i've been to alaska in hawaii there. it is overstated coast to coast rose to. 50 states i haven't been. to um i guess i've been. everywhere else i kind of think nope. never been to new mexico either. yeah i mean i think i drove through when. i was a little kid but that's it.

i just don't think i've been anywhere. else yeah i did shows in new mexico. and we went to the hotel i was like well. i like it here in albuquerque. i'm lying there in the room i'm like. this is nice. it's like a drive-by next door it was a. nice hotel. albuquerque's that's a wild west that's. a navajo country yeah yeah. tap tap tappy remember johnny chappie. yes i do. that [ __ ] big uh what was the the. the mother uh virgin mary. guadalupe that's right virgin of.

guadalupe honestly he was a great he was. a bad [ __ ]. yeah he died that was awesome yeah all. right colin quinn you're the best i. appreciate you brother thank you so much. uh as soon as austin comedy club opens. up you're in yes. goodbye everybody see ya.

you.