Joe Rogan Experience #1450 - Brian Redban
yeeha how you hanging in there fella. great man I think these things are going. to annoy a lot of people if you're. listening we're wearing aluminum. foil we're we're wearing space suits. yeah God they're so crunchy there's not. many left for me to get this is the now. I'm getting yeah this is my favorite one. I like the orange one for some strange. reason the white one just seems like I'm. a cleanup person you know like you're. doing some NASA clean up like there's.
alien bodies you're trying to get rid of. but this feels like we're about to do. something special yeah about we're. protected yeah I just hope it doesn't. start making us sweat and we lose like. 100 pounds well that might this is the. same [ __ ] that's on the outside of the. lunar module land that cheap looking. aluminum foil oh yeah looks like it was. stuck on there with gum heat shield yeah. the heat shield heat shield whatever it. is yeah whatever that [ __ ] fake stuff. is or the alien you ever see the alien. where he had to put that big sheet that. was made out of this material at the.
very end you ever see that movie was it. predator or alien no no the alien the. one with Matt Damon and he's like Lost. in Space the Maran the Martian Jesus oh. yeah these are well they have these for. people that get like lost hiking like. their blankets they'll keep you alive. you won't be cozy but they'll keep you. alive they're like these real thin. aluminum foil looking blankets yeah I. guess they just retain heat pretty good. right pretty good you know like you're. not getting a good night's sleep but you.
might stay alive yeah how are you. holding up I'm all right yeah yeah you. know um look there's people that got. rough the people that got it rough are. number one medical workers anybody you. know much love to anybody that's working. in hospitals right now doctors nurses. everybody interns everybody everybody. people working the desk God damn you. guys have it rough you know those are. the people number one number two H any. anybody in the hospitality industry.
people serving food uh restaurants bars. grocery store workers Jesus yeah they. have it rough but they have jobs you. know it's rough but they their jobs are. still open the the thing that drives me. crazy is there's so many restaurants. where these people you know employed 50. 60 people and you know restaurants are. hard it's hard to stay open when things. are great you know restaurants are a. [ __ ] what are this it's one of the. number one businesses that fails like.
what is the see if you could find the. statistic but it's something crazy like. 70% of all restaurants fail within the. first year cuz just [ __ ] imagine Running. a Restaurant especially what kind like a. chicken restaurant like everyone has. chicken restaurant remember that great. restaurant that was right next to the. ice house we used to go there all the. time yeah it's gone now we got fog ra. there oh it was good and the place that. just replaced it just closed down look. at this they have a high failure rate. but knowing why can help the prospective. owners uh around 60% of new restaurants.
fail within the first year and nearly. 80% shudder before their 5th anniversary. wow 80% in five years so if you get a. restaurant like dantana that's been open. since like the 60s or something like. when is you ever eat at dananana Jamie. have you ever eaten you don't know where. dananana is oh my god dude we need to do. a dinner at danant Tanana anytime a post. store dinner at danas because dananana. is open the kitchen's open till like. midnight it's phenomenal some of the.
best Italian food in all of La wow and. it's on Santa Monica Boulevard like on. the border of boy toown wow it's next to. the trador right hey yeah the trador. where I saw um I saw Everlast recently. and Sturgill stur sson played the trador. too trador is dope I hope Everlast is. doing okay with his daughter his. daughter has you know he's being real. smart staying the [ __ ] away from. everybody they're hold up and. everybody's healthy last I spoke to him. yeah there it is D Tanis bro that place.
is the [ __ ] they have phenomenal pasta. they have excellent steaks it's a really. good old school restaurant that you go. in there like it looks like they haven't. done [ __ ] to that place since 1970. everything's perfect like that that's. what it looks like inside I have seen oh. it's amazing dude it's so good it's so. good I love that old school Italian look. you know with like the red tablecloth. and I ate there with uh Suzanne Suzanne. and I went to see uh Sturgill and then.
afterwards we ate at dant I was like. dude I feel like we're real. Hollywood she got hold you know some. Suzanne from honey honey she got holed. up in North Carolina oh gosh yeah you. know her folks are down there so she. went down there and she's hold up I know. so many people are hold um Nick. schwartzen he's H up in uh Michigan you. know or Minnesota rather where he's from. you know one of them mward right one of. them cold places yeah my friend David uh. Minnesota kill Tony he was stuck in New.
York and he got out like the day before. they just banned it like all travel out. of New York but now no hanging out with. David for a little bit yeah right give. him 14 days hey man got to take your. temperature Jam's got somebody in his. building m y got an email yesterday I. was going say they have a checkpoints. they're showing videos of in Florida. blocking people coming in from like New. York yeah so many people flew down there. to baale and they brought that [ __ ] down. there yeah I was reading an article I. think it was in the Atlantic about. people who are on the cape like cape cot.
in Boston and they're mad that uh people. who own summer houses out there are. going to stay in their summer house like. hey you [ __ ] this is where we live don't. bring your coties over here yeah but. they live there too man they just they. own two houses they still own the house. you know just if you own two H like how. does that work you know like people want. their isolation right because they live. in their town but if somebody bought. that house this is still America that's. their [ __ ] house yeah I get it you.
don't want a bunch of people coughing. around you but they don't want a bunch. of people coughing around them either. which is why they went to the cape in. the first place yeah just everyone's. scared Burbank had like two cases and. then yesterday just a retirement home. right next to my house uh somebody got. it and gave it to like 17 people so we. just went up with. like a ton in Burbank oh it just makes. me wonder if like any of those people. went to my grocery store cuz now I'm. thinking about that now I'm like. overthinking like I got to the. overthinking where like now I'm thinking.
about Postmates I postmate so much what. if the driver sneezes on my food or. Amazon box like the cardboard box what. if the yeah you got to think if you. postmate that guy's going all over the. place right they have to yeah they have. to and I doubt Postmates is giving them. like spray and gloves and all that this. is like the craziest way to try to stop. something from spreading in massive. cities where everybody travels where. everybody's connected to everybody so. even when you have everybody on lock. down it just it's like you got fingers.
in the Dyke you know like trying to hold. up the holes in the dam but water's. still squirting through for sure it's. not like you open up the whole Dam right. but you got to think of all the. different people that have to work just. Hospital workers them alone man they. have to work the other thing I was. reading the Atlantic is another I've. been reading the Atlantic lately. apparently uh another another article. was they were talking about these. doctors that can't even test people they. can't use the test on them and unless. they meet certain criteria and the.
doctor was like he said when these. people come they have a fever they're. they're coughing and if they didn't have. Corona virus before they got here they. probably do now I was like oh my. God Jesus Christ and we're not even to. the supposedly the middle part of the. all. this yeah and it's. also um like whose fault is it is it. anybody's fault it seems like no one has.
any idea what's going on and to blame. anybody definitely bad decisions were. made whoever ate the first bat oie. whoever did eat bats for a long time man. they're just like the be's down there. trying to stay alive I was reading the. article about they said the lady who was. patient zero that got it first she. thinks she got it from being in a uh. stall next to it somehow she didn't say. she ate like a bat but like she was in. that market and like she was selling. something else in there and like being. near it oh man breathing bat air all day.
20 other people got it to around her or. something that's what the explanation I. read yesterday was don't know how true. that was but that's should we ex like is. there any reason for a bat to be a a. species still like can't we just wipe. out bats well they were talking about. doing that with mosquitoes but when you. play God with an ecosystem you don't. know what the unintended consequences. are there some good examples of that. like you can't just do that like we even. bring in a new species to a place where.
there's you know it seems like the. species going to be fine has disastrous. results most of the time if it does it's. not a part of the system like it's weird. man like systems they they they exist in. nature and there's like all these. strengths and weaknesses that balance. each other out these animals that eat. other animals and those animal animals. eat certain plants those certain plants. they [ __ ] those plants out and helps. fertilize other plants and they got it. down they know what they're doing and. you throw a buffalo into that and. everybody's like everything gets [ __ ].
up I mean that's that's what happened to. Australia you know Australia and New. Zealand are both crazy examples of that. Australia in particular because so many. people live there I mean as many almost. as many people as live in LA live in. Australia which doesn't seem like a lot. isn't Australia they're not letting. anyone leave they yeah I think they got. I don't know is that true I thought I. read that they were locked down prob. should but anyway Australia has wild. cats like house cats that they put out. to kill some other thing that they put. out to to to to live over there they did.
a bunch of stupid [ __ ] like that like. they have all these animals just roaming. around they have to kill them they have. to chase them down and kill them all. these deer and all these different uh. Stags and these different animals they. they sometimes they have to do with. helicopters they fly over and just gun. them down because they don't have any. Predators so these things just get to. these Preposterous proportions look at. Japanese beetles you know they came from. Japan and they they [ __ ] up our country. what every seven years they come in town. and just you guys ever had Beatles in La. I don't know like where you have to get.
well they get those bark beetles that. [ __ ] up Big Bear those you know those. bark beetles they yeah they kill a. certain large number of those trees and. because we're scared of fire for good. reasons we never let fires happen so. those trees in nature they're supposed. to burn down and it's supposed to like. everything's supposed to recover and the. burn actually helps the trees grow you. know again it's a system right that's. been in place for a million years but. we're we're like we're better than this. we're smarter we know what we're going. to do we're just going.
yeah some Beatles got over there on a. boat who gives a. [ __ ] some plants got in someone's boot. the seeds were in the cracks of. someone's Boot and wound up in the. forest and this new invasive species. crops up and chokes out all the native. plants it happens all the time what's. that stuff that's in the South we talked. about at one time it covers everything. some crazy growth that uh I believe it's. from Asia originally and it made it down. someone was explaining it to me and I. remember I was blown away cuz i' never.
never heard about it's like a mold like. an uh no it's like a like a Vine that. covers everything it's like trees that. cover other trees they choke out all the. life they take away all the oxygen and. Sun not Ivory oxygen trees don't even. breathe oxygen what am I talking about. kudu yeah that's the stuff pull up a. picture of that [ __ ] takes over a whole. Forest Jesus yeah it's weird I never. even heard about it until like three or. four years ago someone on the podcast. brought it up and I was like what I. wonder if I've seen before look at that. dude that's just that stuff just takes.
over oh so it's growing over trees grows. over everything wow that's like looks. like ghosts yeah it's like it's like an. alien thing that decides it's going to. like overcome everything in its. environment and completely take over. other. trees at least it looks okay it looks. dope it looks dope but it's it's weird. dude it's things like that are weird cuz. if that was an animal doing that to. other animals we'd be freaked out if we. like let these rats loose and the Rats.
were like chasing down you know people's. cows and killing all these people's cows. we'd be like what the [ __ ] is going on. oh these rats just live around cows and. consume them but we we see trees getting. consumed like if you've never seen these. photos the stuff's spelled KU. DZ um and it's that was was that in the. Mississippi was that that photo was from. that last photo I think so y somewhere. in the South and I don't when this [ __ ].
see see if you could find the history. when it was introduced oh it's in. Portland Oregon too yeah that name. sounds like it's it came from Asia like. Kad Japanese Japanese God damn you one. was brought over here with that stuff is. just dominating wherever it is it's. weird it's when especially when. something like this is going on like. we're dealing with Corona virus and you. stop and think about the things that get. 1876. Cent Centennial Exposition in.
Philadelphia that's when kuu was. introduced from Japan into the United. States at the Japanese Pavilion 1876 so. from 1876 that [ __ ] took the [ __ ] off is. there anything you could do like eat it. or cook it or smoke it well I don't know. good question that picture that Jamie. had the last picture about Portland was. talking about an eradication they're. trying to eradicate it but how do you. eradicate all that stuff there's so much. of. it just. camo to cover up uh tanks and [ __ ] yeah.
in World War II that makes sense yeah oh. my God you'd hide in that stuff perfect. You' never be able to see what the [ __ ]. anything is there we go you can kind of. eat it you can kind of eat it it says. it's can be made it contains a starch. and the flowers can be made into a jelly. whoa It's been used as a food ingredient. in East Asia in Vietnam the starch. called say that band day what do you. think b band. day it's FL flored with pomelo and then.
used as a drink in the summer huh yeah. there you go but um it's a life form. that's killing another life form taking. over massive swaths of land and uh it. makes me think about this Corona virus. you know this is that's that's it's. another different I mean it's not a life. form it's a virus technically but it's. obviously a thing that grows and wants. life and. kills and consumes bodies and takes over. and it's so easily to pass I get like.
people were talking about how like if. you let somebody pet your dog like if. you're walking your dog and somebody. goes oh and pets your dog stays on the. dog and then it's on your dog Jesus. Christ or like these Jewels you put your. Jewel down on a table you don't even. think about it then you put it in right. in your mouth you call it a dirty straw. the other day exactly you're just. holding dirty straw you that you have. that dirty straw in your pocket all the. time it's always rubbing up against your. lint right you're ging yeah luckily. these things are the the ends are. replaceable so you're kind of throw it. away every five minutes yeah she have a.
giant gym bag of them my girlfriend just. got one of those phone cleaners where. you put your phone in and has the UV. lights so now I'm putting everything in. I'm putting Jewels car keys it's a good. move it's a good move I had heard about. those before um I I didn't know there's. there was a thing that I found out about. called a ster stick and uh they use it. when they uh go back country hiking and. stuff and camping and it it purifies. water with a stick like it's an. electrolyte band and you stick it in. into this uh. U it's UV light and you stick it into.
this the it's like a straw looking thing. the life straw yeah like a lightsaber. remember those kids life that's what it. looks like with the clear on the outside. and you just spin see if you can find. one of those [ __ ] things I wouldn't. trust that apparently the light kills. all the bacteria but it doesn't filter. The Taste still tastes like donkey piss. yeah you still get little grits of yeah. I mean if you get lucky you get a a. clean stream you just run that through. it and it doesn't alter the taste of the. water which is nice. I don't know how it's working yeah those.
other ones the life straws where you can. just sit there and drink urine through a. straw and it cleans it as it go now I. would trust that more than just a light. well those get clogged up man and. sometimes they leak sometimes people get. jaria from those filters they don't. clean them good enough and they get. clogged up with poo which is what jaria. is you're you're basically getting a. disease that comes out of go for [ __ ]. they call it beaver. fever. yeah I wonder if this Corona is going to. kill joint circles like now that seems.
insane to just go out in the back of the. comi store with 20 dirty comics. and so that [ __ ] thing that little. lightsaber thing stere stick that can. see what does it say as far as how how. quick it does it this is an article. about this versus the straw like this St. pen a small pen-like electronic device. that emits an ultraviolent light and. purifies either half a liter or one full. liter of water at a time the device. operates on batteries works with clean.
water by killing the DNA of harmful. microbes and bacteria what how weird is. that I wonder how long it takes though. because I know the the phone cleaner. takes like 10 minutes one minute later. that doesn't seem right what so once the. water's safe to drink about one minute. later the light turns off and flashes. green one. minute that's insane I wonder if they. tested it they should test it yeah you. drink it [ __ ] I remember there was uh. this one executive and he was talking.
about how safe G uh glyphosate is that's. Roundup that that stuff that they're now. proving causes cancer proving and. lawsuits have been settled and you know. it's it's a it's not good for you to. consume this guy had a glass of it he's. like you could drink it and so the guy's. like go ahead drink it he wouldn't drink. it yeah ex he's like you could drink it. he brought a glass of it like [ __ ]. drink it did you see the guy that they. just arrested for selling the Corona. virus uh p that supposedly kills the.
Corona virus he reminds me of that old. bodybuilding Guy what's that Dan or. whatever that used to sell fake uh one. of the back of the book guys yeah yeah. uh but if you look at this guy he looks. like he's selling well there was some. preachers that were selling it like Jim. Baker was selling a Corona virus virus. cure they straight up arrested this guy. though yeah he looks like a meathead. what they say there's nothing but the. the Chlor Queen there's no ST. right there's no definitive tests but.
they're still letting people try it is. that what's going on with that I think. so like the the couple that died took. the wrong [ __ ] they they took like. poison they took algae or um uh bacteria. killer it's it's for [ __ ] koi pons. yeah it's poison they took poison they. died from taking poison they misread or. misunderstood or something dude the. media today is is kind of spooky with. their hatred of trump is getting in the. way of the accuracy of some people's. reporting of the news and that's a.
perfect example by resorting to. clickbait and saying that they heard it. from Trump what that's not what he said. what what he's talking about is a. different kind of chloro Queen there's. more than one different kind of it right. right but if they just said real. simply that these people died please be. careful there is more than one different. kind of chloro Queen and chloro Queen. hasn't been shown definitively to work. yet. and it's not necessarily safe to take if.
they said that that would be great but. instead they had to say the president. told people to take it but that's not. what he said what he said is that. there's hope and we're hoping that this. could be a cure or this could be a. treatment that's what he said but that's. what everybody's saying like if you go. and read articles about that when. doctors are talking about potential. treatments there's a bunch of different. ones there's IV vitamin C there's. chloroquin there's uh so it's this. corquin which is like an old school.
malaria medication and then zacs they're. talking about what is that called zrsin. how do you say that I I don't know you. know but that antibiotic they're saying. that that may have some effect but these. are may you know that's what they're. saying like it's people who are. scrambling for an answer who are trying. to help people not not sure if this is. you know definitely going to work or not. going to work but it shows some promise. that's what Trump talked about like you. can't give him a hard time for talking. about what doctors are talking about. because legitimate people are talking.
about that combination of things like. just CU you hate Trump you can't distort. this and make it seem like Trump did. something irresponsible by talking about. this hopeful disease medication and. these people took the wrong version of. it and died like that's a cautionary. tale it's not a chance to [ __ ] on Trump. but everything's a chance to [ __ ] on. Trump it's so exhausting it's just it's. it's [ __ ] weird man well have you. seen his ratings I don't it's silly he's. silly there's no doubt he does silly.
[ __ ] but he's gotten a lot better at. handling um. confrontational conversations with. reporters you know I was watching this. one uh yesterday and this reporter was. uh asking him question she asked him. about a few things but she asked about. people dying because of the economy. failing and him talking about like is. there anyone that could speak to this. she says it's and she's playing a game. right the game is she knows there's no. real data that shows if they do that.
this will happen if the economy crashes. the way they anticipated crashing and. all these people are out of work for an. extended period of time x amount of. people will kill themselves but we for. sure know that economic despair is a is. a reason why some people go into. depression depression is a reason why. some people kill themselves these are. all facts that we all know like maybe. you can't pull that out of your ass when. you're standing in front of a Podium and. you're addressing people and they're. calling you out on this and what she was.
saying correctly is we can't put money. ahead of people's lives so the correct. Thing by most people's account is for at. least some period of time separating. everybody maintaining this this distance. and putting a stop to the the number of. dis you know viruses or number of people. that get infected but what he's saying. is there's also a factor that we have to. consider that all these people out of.
work could lead to Suicide it could lead. to drug addiction and he's right and you. know he's right we all know he's right. that's not that's irrefutable When. people's lives fall apart through to. unexpected circumstances some people are. hanging on by a [ __ ] thread and that. comes along and it doesn't end that does. happen to people we all know that to be. true just because you hate Trump you. can't pretend that this isn't going to. be rough for people or you can't pretend. that him saying that this can cause a. loss of life too I think the problem.
might have been he might have said maybe. more life there's no evidence of that. that's true there's no evidence that it. might cause more loss of life I think. also we grew up always listening when at. a stressful time when the president came. on you felt comforted like you like his. tone of voice how he how he acted you. always kind of felt safer and I think. when when when it comes to Trump you're. just like hey hey [ __ ] you you know this. kind of [ __ ]. get out of here that's the wor Trump.
impression ever AA [ __ ] you he does kind. of remind me of like you know like a you. know like a New York or New Jersey guy. like you know get this you know [ __ ]. well I mean he kind of is he's a New. York Real Estate Mogul you know you have. to have a certain amount of that to. thrive in New York City yeah you New. York people are unique breed bro who got. hit harder than them they've already. lost more than a thousand people as of. this morning yeah that's that place has. got it bad cuz they're all stacked on on. top of each other you know it's one of.
the things unfortunately that makes New. York awesome New York you're just. immersed you know you're immersed in. people you know you walk down the street. in New York and there [ __ ] people are. everywhere man they're coming at you. you're coming at them it's wild it's a. different kind of way of living I get it. all the people that love it you know my. friend Jeff he's Liv there forever since. I met him he's my manager and uh he. [ __ ] loves it loves New York just. loves it loves knowing all the good.
spots you know loves knowing how to get. around the subway he doesn't even need a. m he loves it he loves it I go there I'm. like Jesus Christ I just I I just go and. I go. wow and let me jump off that ride y. That's how I feel about New York me. too but it's great it's great and I get. it that you would want to live there I. get it if you especially like creative. types but Judah freedlander was telling. us it's it's like all Bankers now he. said he goes it's so [ __ ] F expensive to. live in Manhattan it's not like this you.
know this giant artist Community anymore. it goes everybody's sort of been pushed. out to Brooklyn and pushed out to the. other Burrows it's so expensive I looked. up somebody like a celebrity. accidentally put out his address the. other day and I like oh I want to know. what he look you know he lives in that. little two-bedroom uh apartment $3.7. million and I was just like what that's. so crazy because yeah he's been blogging. from it and it just looks like a basic. apartment 40 minutes out of Nashville. 2.7 3.7 you said how much 3.7 $3.7.
million will buy you a goddamn Farm you. can have a giant ass farm with like 400. acres of land and a beautiful house with. a view maybe have a Creek in your. backyard that's what you get for $3.7. million yeah you're not supposed to get. a [ __ ] apartment no a basic apartment. it's in that Chelsea District so I think. that's is that a good spot I I guess I. don't know anything about New York yeah. I know um that one spot that was really. good that everybody's trying to convince. me I should move to flooded what's that. one spot down in the the the base of New.
York what's that one place where they. all love it Financial District down. there yeah there's like a but there's an. area down there that's like real ritzy. the meat packing district oh yeah but. they don't call it that it's got another. name Hell's Kitchen no no no okay I. don't know you sure it's not Chelsea. it's not no it's not that I know people. in New York are screaming right now. there there's some I'll remember later. but it flooded like real bad like my. friend's elevator had 7t of water in it. oh God yeah like your your lobby you go. into the lobby was filled with water.
starts with a t god damn it it's driving. me crazy trist [ __ ] cry back yes thank. you oh my God it's pretty it's all in. the same area it's pretty close I barely. made it through away but uh so we went. there a visit once back in the dis when. my older daughter was going to college. and when we drove around like to see. what it'd be like to live in New York we. were like you guys are. high I gu you can't even Park there's. nowhere to park if you want a parking. spot it cost you like 2,000 bucks like.
that's kind of it like maybe if CU you. if you don't like cars you would like. New York better but like if you have a. car yeah well there's Freedom that we. have there's a freedom of just being. able to get in your car and just you. know drive down to a deli at 1: in the. morning and park and get out with your. friends and does that freedom that you. have to just go wherever you want with. cars once you get used to that and you. get used to not being on top of people. like the subway you get just like you. get spoiled you get spoiled but there's.
a benefit to being on top of people too. New York is way more diverse in terms of. the way people interact with each other. like you you're walk like rich people. are walking on the street with poor. people are walking up the street and. everybody's together there's no. everybody together in La you know there. no time where everybody just. intermingles it's like people stay in. their neighborhoods or they go out to. bars and restaurants and they go back to. their neighborhoods they're not walking. past each other for prolonged periods of. time to and from work you know in the.
neighborhood going from place to place. just walking around it's kind of ironic. that the most urban place is the place. where the people walk the most kind of. ironic right yeah I mean any place any. place that's less Urban everybody just. drives everywhere because it's easier to. just get in your car and drive somewhere. but there it's so hard to park everybody. just walks no imagine if everybody in. New York had a car that would be the. most ridiculous thing ever you you. actually couldn't do it right no how.
many million people are in New York well. in Manhattan just Manhattan that live. there yeah what do you think a couple. seven no it's less than that because. like Brooklyn's way bigger really yeah I. mean most people driving into the city. work for the day and then they. leave let's let's take a bet I bet it's. more than that I bet it's five Le I just. heard a discussion about the other day. you hear on that like some guy's talking. about how Brooklyn if it was on its own. not part of the Bur it would be like the. fifth largest city in the country is.
this guy just someone hanging out with. you or no no no like there a podcast. discussion about they live live in New. York they're just talking that's the. problem I heard this I heard [ __ ] let's. Google it I say five million what do you. say uh 3.7 oh that's a good hedge your B. move people live in Manhattan yeah yeah. full res million wow holy [ __ ] that. doesn't seem right there's not that it's. not that big Manhattan Manhattan like. the burrow or all of New York City no. just Manhattan just man yeah. yeah I bet it's bigger than that so it's.
like a Burbank at night everyone leaves. there's no one actually that lives there. a million there's no way it's a million. there's so many people that live. there 1.6 wow oh my God that's Bonkers. is that in the 30s. 2020. 1930s 1.6 and how many visit there to. work every day that's that's got to be. [ __ ] stupendous what do you guess uh. every day.
3.7 um I'm saying five 5 million. visitors how. many 65.2 million tourists in a year oh. me but that's tourists I mean uh. commuters work there yeah how many. people do you think commute there every. day. 3.7 it's uh it's an interesting life man. and those people that love it when they. go somewhere else 1.6 to 3.1 commute. every day so it doubles oh that's it huh. 3.1 wow I would have guessed it would be.
I would have guessed that Manhattan was. like 7 million people what is like the. whole of New York City all the Burrows. together that's what it all it's like. close to like 10 to 11 12 you get. everything all together but but. Manhattan itself is yeah was a lot of. [ __ ] rich people see some of the. places that are for Saleem Manhattan I. uh I don't know what happened but I got. on a YouTube thing where I started. watching these ridiculous apartment. buildings in New York City that they. build where they build them specifically. for like you know some crazy Arab oil. dude who's got a [ __ ] ton of money wants.
the dopest [ __ ] house on the planet. Earth or some hedge fun guy who's about. to get busted before he want he wants to. go out with a bang and right spend all. his money but they have elevators and. [ __ ] theaters and huge home spas and. they have some of them actually have. garages you can actually Park in a. garage in New York City and they they. show it's like the crowning Jewel of. this building a garage you actually can. park your car in New York City I'm like. wow what is what is wrong what did you.
do. yeah it's it's weird being on Facebook. my friend's a realtor and he'll just. post like like hello here here's a eight. bedroom unit in Texas $200,000 and. you're just looking at like that's. scarface's house like I want to buy. that yeah you'd have to if you lived in. Texas would you go Austin there's two. moves no there's three moves really. right there's Austin if you're like yeah. I want a hand tattoo I want yeah yeah. love uh I love uh craft beer and uh I.
like I like going to see live bands or. your Houston where it's like you really. love oil money or Dallas I would. definitely not do Houston because of the. weather too funky yeah it's too humid. out there summer gets hot and it's too. much drown like flooding lately they're. out of control like my my. ex-girlfriend's house her parents house. got flooded like four times they rebuilt. it and then it got flood rebuilt it. remember that one time when we were we. were at the laugh stop and uh after we. left the entire city went underwater.
like the hotel where we were staying at. doesn't exist anymore cuz it went. underwater. yeah sad Dallas is the move I think miss. the laughs up yeah Dallas is my my. favorite because you could always drive. to Austin then you can get out before. anybody just annoys you and Dallas is. pretty close to Los Angeles it's got a. lot of money and it's very rich and so. everywhere you go it feels very LA and. they have less healers per capita yeah. you know what I. mean I don't get me wrong I [ __ ] love. Austin. I love Austin but there's there's a high.
percentage of Knuckleheads that are like. uh wrapped up in the spiritual sort of. aspects of nonsense takes one rock store. to ruin that though one Crystal. Store oh my God one person who's a. Channeler who's doing seances at their. house you think their business is. picking up right now no protecting. people no people need money people need. money they they're not going to spend. their [ __ ] money on some nonsense. that in the back of their head they know. it was nonsense you're hearing way way.
way way way less people complain about. nonsense right now you know you don't. you don't hear the the standard outrage. at stupid [ __ ] what you're hearing now. is people really concerned about. people's lives you know and I'm I'm. hoping that this is going to last that. this feeling of understanding that we. are really vulnerable we are we we're in. this together we really are you know and. sometimes it takes something like this. to happen where you go oh [ __ ] but no we. really are we're in this together we.
just didn't realize it because it was. easy it was easy to get by it's really. cool seeing the the neighborhood aspect. of it like I've been I don't know if. you're on next door I doubt you're on. next door that'd be hilarious but uh. next door is like you know like it's a. Reddit thread for your neighborhood and. just hearing people like hey does anyone. have toilet paper and somebody's like oh. I'll drop off lemons My Lemon Tree you. know just like helping each other out. it's like it's pretty pretty beautiful. it didn't happen before this you know. yeah it's very cool it's funny you say. lemons my next door neighbor she was. handing out lemons yesterday she had a.
bucket free lemons come take some lemons. just set it out in front of the house. yeah it's um there's good parts to being. scared you realize you know people get. cocky man it's one of the reasons why I. like weed one of the like I've talked. about this and people think I'm kidding. but one of the reasons why I like weed. is it makes me paranoid I like it I I. can get cocky people get cocky you get. confused you know you can you can start. believe some pretty stupid things about.
just life in general if you're not. humbled by a little fear sometimes just. a little nervousness just a little. anxiety just a little look up at SK the. sky what would we do if an asteroid. shower just came down unannounced and. just completely wiped out the power grid. you want to talk about death and disease. what we're experiencing now is this is a. [ __ ] dry run for a real apocalyptic. event this is nothing nothing this is. nothing in comparison to stuff that.
could happen we got cocky we didn't. think it could happen cuz nothing had. happen in so long and we'd find these. craters and be like huh huh look we. found out the spot where everybody died. in U you know 200,000 years ago oh look. here's a spot where the dinosaurs were. killed 65 million years ago there's all. these spots where they keep finding. these gigantic [ __ ]. craters here's where no's AR crashed. yeah. exactly people people that are really.
just looking for Noah's Arc you miss the. point remember that guy from a long time. ago and made the video Noah's Arc I. wonder what happened to that guy didn't. that guy want us to go look at it yeah. you're like what are you going to show. me a big. boat I'm like bro but if you're coming. to me you already [ __ ] up you know. you're coming to me to to release your. Noah's Arc information. this is I don't think this is real sir.
but I think the Noah Ark story is look. you just have to put it through the. filter of time right we're talking about. thousands and thousands of years ago and. we're talking about people likely. telling a story for hundreds if not. thousands of years before it ever gets. written down and all these different. versions of it get tossed around but the. heart of the Noah's Arc story is a. cataclysmic event happens and this one. guy collects a bunch of.
animals and he restarts. civilization that. is you could easily put that through the. filter of interpretation and say I bet. what happened was there was a small. group of people that. survived some sort of massive. cataclysmic event and one guy convinced. someone or they made it up that he knew. it was coming and that God been talking. to him so that's why he was able to to.
lead everybody and then after they tell. the story 3,000 different times it gets. all whacked out and you know God comes. down and tells him no you got to build a. boat so he builds this boat and. everybody laughs at him and he brings on. two of each animal you know it's the. dumbest story ever it's a but it's a. story that clearly it's not a real story. right cuz I you know I had that bit. about if you told that to a 5-year-old. kid with a mental handicap. he would be like there's a lot of holes. in that story you never had that yeah I.
love that bit that bit was but the. accuracy of is like animals eat other. animals you can't just have two of each. animal in a boat that's ridiculous that. doesn't make any sense that makes zero. sense like what are you doing why you. lying to me something else happened but. what they're trying to say is some. animal survived and civilization. restarted they didn't know how big the. world was back then people 4,000 years. ago or whatever it was when they first. wrote these stories down or even had.
these ideas those people had no idea how. big the world was they were in their. spot if some [ __ ] went down in your spot. you thought the world was ending you. know can you imagine if you're living. near Pompei when that mount vvus blows. and the whole [ __ ] town gets covered. in Ash and everybody dies imagine if. you're living anywhere near there you. would think that hell just broke out in. in the world you wouldn't think oh in. you know Thailand right now they're just. chilling on the beach you wouldn't think. that you would think it's over like this. for everyone everywhere meanwhile on the.
other side of the world in [ __ ] New. Zealand they didn't even know it. happened they had no idea they're just. hanging out meanwhile these people are. dead as [ __ ] covered in Ash over in New. Zealand they're just hanging out you. know like that's how the world is the. world's huge and if if some [ __ ] goes. down in one part back then you didn't. know so if you one of the people. survived when some [ __ ] went down you. would write about it and then people. would talk and they'd tell that story. and they'd pass it on to people and they. pass it on to other people and somewhere.
through these stories they figured out. there's like a framework in here for. telling people that [ __ ] could go down. and that we have to work together and. that we have to believe in a higher. power and that if you believe in a. higher power and you believe there. something else that's bigger and better. than you you'll do better things while. you're here you know that's it's so. obvious obviously I could be wrong too. but my that's that's my take on it and I. think we've just had this giant stretch. where none of those things happened you. know we we've had a couple of hundred. years of pretty easy life in terms of.
natural disasters you know you got your. occasional hurricane again if you were. there you would think it's hell if you. were were the tornado hits when we're. chilling here in LA and a tornado hits. Louisiana we feel bad you see all 36. people die in a tornado we feel bad but. you don't feel it you know you don't. know the sky monster is coming to take. your loved ones but if you're there that. Sky monster is a real thing it's a sky. monster just cuz it doesn't have f hangs. just cuz it Doesn't laugh at you while. it's ripping your family apart and.
throwing [ __ ] ba bathtubs in the air. and you ever seen there's one video of a. semi like a semi truck spinning in the. sky was it Twister the movie spinning in. the sky no no no no it was real it was. real you son of a [ __ ] yes yeah it hit. it hit that's hilarious it hit a uh a. parking area for semi trucks and these. uh semi trucks were literally getting. flown around in the air [ __ ] yeah I.
think we found this before dude it might. be. twister was Helen Hunt no no no there it. is okay look at this look at it's flying. the air oh my God just like twister it's. just like twister but it's real and it's. metal TI doesn't [ __ ] probably. several thousand pounds and they're just. getting flown through the air by the sky. monster now imagine if a huge dinosaur. came through town and did the exact same. amount of damage killed the exact same. amount of people like [ __ ] Godzilla's. real oh [ __ ] it's a [ __ ] lizard.
monster but we're not scared of the sky. monster the way we are of the lizard. monster you would never live in the land. where the lizard monster comes and he. just disappears he just goes back up in. the clouds you see him in the over the. mountains you know he's coming you're. like [ __ ] we got to get out of here. that's just like the sky monster but he. doesn't chase you Sky monster is blind. he just whatever's in his path if he. gets lucky and catches the town he just. rips that [ __ ] apart but if he just. goes through the swamp and sends. alligators into the air either he. doesn't give a [ __ ] Sky monster is just.
doing Sky monster type [ __ ] he's not. targeting specific individuals but the. lizard monster would that's the only. difference are you talking like if. Godzilla is real yes if Godzilla's real. and he only went to Louisiana who the. [ __ ] is gonna live live in Louisiana. imagine if Godzilla's proven Godzilla's. never gone outside the boundaries of. Louisiana you go to. Louisiana everybody's running from. Godzilla well no one in the movies. leaves Tokyo they stay there they're. just like hey Godzilla's back have you. ever been in Tokyo. Bri Brian and I went to Tokyo It's. pretty dope I miss hope I can go one day.
maybe if it's still there if it's still. there that' be fun to edit Godzilla into. all these tornado movies but if you. think about it man this virus I've been. saying this about all viruses the. diseases are like demons you know and we. we just if we were losing like have you. seen the numbers too this is something. that uh my friend Steve who's a doctor. sent me and this is a [ __ ] c a series. of crazy. statistics but um the crazy statistics.
about how many people die like it puts. it into perspective I mean and all life. lost is valuable all life lost is a. tragedy I'm not saying anything other. than that but what I'm just I'm not. diminishing anyone's loss of life but. what I am saying is I was stunned when I. saw the actual. numbers so 2017 to two uh to. 2018 uh H2 N3 pandemic killed 61,000.
Americans did you know that I didn't. know that I know that did you know that. James I've heard numbers like that. recently yeah but not before 2017 to. 2018 hospitalized. 3,453 and estimated affected was. 8947 people by that flu that's crazy. overall death rate was. 7.5 with a peak in January 2018 of 10.8. again I'm a [ __ ] not a doctor reading.
you a text message maybe I shouldn't be. doing that maybe someone should look. into this 2009 pandemic now this is the. one that Bert said he had he said the. H1N1 it killed. 83300 Americans jeez death rates range. from 4% to 33% for. Pediatric 0 to 22% uh for 18 to 64 for 0. to 4% for those over.
65 man this is crazy us case is 60.8. million 274,000. hospitalized. 12469 deaths in the US like I'm just. going over all these different ones that. happened flu of the year of 2020 cases. reported 45 million hospital. hospitalizations 415,000 deaths. 48,000 that's for the 2020 flu this flu. season there's so many people that die. of the flu but obviously this when you.
see healthcare workers freaking out you. know this is different so what is. different about it that's it's all at. the same time yeah it's all at the same. time it's new it's a new virus people. don't they don't have immunity for it. they don't really know how to cure it. and it attacks the respiratory system. and it seems to have a real quick. turnaround from I'm not feeling so good. to I'm dead you know it's uh it happens. very quick for some people shockingly so. some of these and and it seems to affect.
different people in different ways like. there's a lot going on with this one. that has smart people going we need to. [ __ ] stay home for a bit just. everybody chill no large Gatherings yeah. just chill do you ever get the flu shot. every year I mean like I I feel like I. get the flu almost every year but I I. never do the flu shot like maybe you. should do the other thing I don't know. like I didn't get it last year I don't. get the flu shot yeah yeah is is that a. bad idea it seems like it's a I've. survived and been healthy but just uh.
eating well and not getting the flu shot. and then making sure I'm in the sauna. and I exercise well and sleep well and. I've been able to shake it off but uh. it's a good move it's probably I. probably should get the flu shot and if. I got the flu again maybe I'd be like. [ __ ] man I should have got the flu shot. let me just get that flu shot but I mean. whether it's diet or whether it's um all. the [ __ ] I'm on all the different. vitamins and hormones and the fact that. I'm in the [ __ ] sauna for 25 minutes.
every day but I rarely get sick it seems. like you would get it more just because. you're around like you know gyms and. saunas and like places where there's a. lot of sweat and the only cooties I've. gotten in the gym that scare me is Staff. yeah I've gotten staff a couple of times. that scares me did you ever get ringor. yeah I got that a bunch of times I got. that twice at least maybe three times. which is not that bad you put Lamisil on. it stay off the mat for a little bit and. then the products that I started using. um prevented or saved me from that a. company called defense soap yeah you.
know it's the [ __ ] because it's all. natural stuff it's all tea tree oil and. eucalyptus oil and it's it's not. antibiotic in that it doesn't kill off. all the good bacteria it just coats your. body with this soap and it's all like. natural it it it kills the bad bacteria. but it doesn't kill good bacteria I. don't understand how that works folks. but people have known that forever the. tea tree oil and eucalyptus oil are good. for infections and preventing infections. I use it I'm a like a yeasty boy I'm. very yeasty are you yeasty yeah you get.
yeast infections I give it I give them. you give them out yeah give them out. you're lucky if you get one for me he. don't them out like. Awards yeah I've been I've been lucky. with diseases knock on wood yeah um but. it's uh you know this is a weird one if. you're if you're compromised you know. people that have uh lung issues or. people that have had uh like. I hate to say it Brian but vaping vaping.
yeah I think cigarettes and vaping and I. wonder weed smokers though because I. know it's always like definitely not. good for you right right yeah it's like. how bad is it for you Tommy Chong still. going I mean I'm gonna he's my canary in. a coal mine right cuz Willie Nelson's. out of the game Willie Nelson moved over. to the edible game 100% yes he did. couldn't take the smoking anymore wow. yeah smoking was [ __ ] him up so he. moved over to the edible game. still [ __ ] your lungs up still coughing. making psychedelic songs at.
90 sing Tommy Tong doesn't have to sing. right it's true so Will's sing songs so. yeah and the uh just the just the smoke. just the hot smoke and apparently the. number of you know joints that that guy. can put away is supposed to be. terrifying Toby Keith wrote a song about. it I'll Never Smoke Weed With Willie. Again he wrote a song about getting high. with Willie like everybody says that. like you get high with Willie Snoop. versus Willie who do you got I got to go.
with Snoop yeah I just got to go with. Snoop I go with Snoop all day yeah out. of respect but Snoop is such a g he. might lay down he might take a dive just. for Willie so Willie feels better you. know what I mean it's like it's true I. can win another day this is Willie. Nelson he you know Snoop Dogg might he. might uh take a dive in that one but if. they really wanted to go head-to-head. snoop's gonna be awake for days just. still smoking you think Willie smokes. blunts though I'm not that he can't but. you think he does like Snoop [ __ ].
tears down blunts yeah I don't know what. well Willie used to smoke cigarettes. right so I bet he avoids blunts or he. loves them I know a lot of people that. quit smoking they're like no I'm a blunt. guy okay we know what's going on here. exactly well I know a guy who used. cigars to get off of cigarettes started. smoking cigars and got his nicotine fix. but you know was felt better because he. wasn't inhaling and just you know you. just keep it in your mouth so your. breath stinks smell up the place. wherever you're at yeah you don't like.
cigars no I I don't mind them I just. like when you go to a place like that. say You're The Comedy Store front patio. and five people are smoking cigars it's. kind of like Get me the [ __ ] out of here. that's a little obnoxious that's a. little of a little dick swingy yeah you. know yeah cuz you're pretty much just. taking over yeah you're making people. smell you like if you go to one the best. place to go is one of those cigar bars. cuz there's a bunch of other cigar dorks. in there you got guys can all get. together and apparently is this true are. cigar bars essential is that one of.
those essential businesses that are open. I mean if pot shops are I can imagine. yeah because here's the thing people do. get addicted to Tobacco right so what do. you do about that do you say hey now is. the time to quit right sorry you can't. you can't go anywhere or do you let them. if that's how they get their tobacco. fixed do you let them what do you think. I would say they're non-essential but I. mean pot shop surpris look at gun shops. man I my studio in burbank's buy three. gun shops I did had no idea but there's.
three right next door to me and there's. lines going down the street like a mile. long just to get a gun you have a 10day. waiting CR yeah but still 10 days later. you got a gun a lot of liberals Chang. their [ __ ] tune I have quite a few. friends who would never consider having. a gun I had a conversation with one of. them yesterday he's like I've never had. a gun in my life never considered a gun. I have a gun now I'm like yeah that's. probably smart yeah you know better to. have it not to need it then to need it. not to have it right and you know I'm.
hoping people come together I'm not. hoping this turns into some crazy. shootout in the. streets but uh I am I'm happy that. people understand why people wanted guns. in the first place you know because. these things can happen and right now. nothing nothing has happened nothing. really bad but we're in a state of chaos. and states of chaos deteriorate or they. go away they don't you know it's not. like this is the new normal I don't. think if it's just like this then great. we don't need any more guns basically. you know it's like we got a good amount.
of guns it's not like everybody needs to. go out and get a gun who never. considered it before but if it gets. crazy then you should have a gun right. like if you don't want to have a gun I. don't think you should have to have a. gun but what are you going to do if the. whole thing completely falls apart. imagine this scenario how would you feel. if there's only a few people in your. neighborhood with guns and there was. people that were coming in and robbing. killing people because we had gone. Walking Dead because the power had been. off from the asteroid shower for 6.
months there's no way to even tell these. people are coming but there's only two. people in your block with guns but. there's 30 houses well what the [ __ ] are. you going to do you only have two guns. and there's 30 that's not good see. that's what people are scared of what. people are scared of and maybe they're. wrong but the Preppers right now are the. ones laughing their asses off the people. with you know [ __ ] Jarred peaches and. [ __ ] those people that you see on TV. with their own well they're laughing. right now now they're laughing they're. they're hoping it deteriorates even. further cuz they could take over they.
could be the. king yeah I I uh wish I had a gun right. now like I I have like a bunch of fake. guns and think you know you you never. thought about having a gun before well. yeah I mean I I'm one of those guys. though that you know I didn't grow up. with guns so they're kind of. intimidating and I feel like I'm. somebody that one night would be wasted. and like I'm going make a funny YouTube. video oh no. there are a lot of dorks who do that. flash guns on Twitch went up shooting.
trusting yourself you know it's like. it's just you you you know the problem. is you can just buy a gun if you're not. a criminal right if you want to drive a. car you got to take a test but a car is. not specifically designed to kill. someone it can kill someone accidentally. it's not specifically designed to kill. someone a gun is specifically designed. to kill and you don't even have to. [ __ ] show you know how to use it. right that's that worries me too because. that by my house was a lot of. middle-aged Karens you know like like oh.
God did they train you there like I. don't even know the the process it seems. like you should go through like a. training gun course you definitely. should and better not pull a prank on. Karen right Karen might be locked and. loaded on. ads you know pissing in her carpet. because she's too scared to get up and. she's sure that that. sound is a serial killer making its way. up her stairs it's her cousin coming to. check in on her that kind of stuff. happens yeah people are nuts man and you.
can just get a gun if you're not a. criminal you know you don't have mental. health problems you can just get a gun. and uh you definitely should know how to. use it and it's just there's two schools. of thought the Texas school of thought. is a well-armed society it's a polite. society and guess what they're right in. a lot of ways that's right too another. school of thought is wouldn't it be. great if no one had a gun and you never. had to worry about getting shot yep yep. that's good.
too also wouldn't it be great if the. government was awesome and you knew they. would never turn tyrannical on you yeah. that'd be good yeah that'd be good but. that's not true right because the. government's made out of people and look. at China you know what what's happening. in China happening here right we all. agree to that we don't want to live. under military dictatorship I don't care. how good it looks that sounds terrible. for us we don't want that so we know. that's real it's happening right now. other people trapped in a country they. can't even use the real internet right. they can't even they can't even get on.
Twitter they can't get on Facebook Brian. call did a movie there they took his. phone away they gave him a new phone. with Chinese uh social media on it. they're like you could use this this is. it they wouldn't let him on Twitter you. couldn't go on. Instagram yeah he needs a VPN you can't. work it doesn't work they block dude. they block everything over there. apparently some vpns work in Hong Kong. but Hong Kong's not you know it's sort. of a different situation than mainland. China bro it's it's weird that people.
can live the way those Chinese people. are under the fist of a a government. that like pulls people out of did you. see those people that got dragged away. because they tested positive for Corona. where are those where are those people. going you know landfill yeah who the. [ __ ] knows man that's happening at the. same time as us as we have so much. Freedom that people are like looking for. [ __ ] to get a upset about you know like. taking some of trump and Trump no doubt.
has said ridiculous [ __ ] that's not my. point it's not it's not that he's. infallible and he's always right it's. that you're wasting time playing. gotcha with the president of the United. States in the middle of a pandemic like. why you know yeah he's gonna say dumb. [ __ ] get used to it but don't don't harp. on that let's figure out what the [ __ ]. needs to be done that's what we need to. figure out and I don't think anybody. knows you know they're waiting in New. York for it to Peak and so that's why.
they wanted all those ventilators and. they're going to set up they're going to. set up some things in parks and [ __ ] in. the javet center apparently they're. going to set up uh uh some sort of a. temporary Hospital unit like this is. crazy man it's really cool seeing all. the manufacturing plans like Tesla and. stuff making ventilators and converting. their factories to make hand sanitizers. and stuff like that people who know how. to make masks and [ __ ] printing masks. J's like brother her friend Jord uh. fromed Central yeah he uh I think it was.
his brother is the one printing out uh. the mass that's very cool there's quite. a few companies that are doing that. that's very cool yeah yeah it's. um bro weird times to put it mildly. right yeah nothing feels normal you wake. up in the morning like how am I supposed. to feel wake up in the morning what are. you I mean like now it's like I go. tomorrow I'm like okay nothing to do. tomorrow at all uh well I guess I could. just stay up all night and you know go. to sleep when I want to the other night. I went to bed at like 9:00 in the.
morning I just played VR all night and. ate. mushrooms like right now eating. mushrooms is a little too crazy though I. wish uh like halfway through I was like. this is like I'm the where you're going. and thinking you know uh it was a little. little rough we just have to know that. this now we know that this can happen. now we know we didn't. know we we weren't getting all the. information. but just the things that also are deadly.
that also affect so many people like. that list that I read off is that right. is any that [ __ ] I read right what do. you. think it seems like it would be but I. mean nowadays like you get all these. like doctor list on Facebook you never. know what's real and what's not this is. from a a friend of mine who's a. legitimate. doctor is that correct those numbers. correct we should probably say Let's uh. let's Google the numbers again so what. did I say we start off with the first. one the first one was um Michael Yo.
apparently put out a video today oh did. he yeah he's back okay let's look at. this one the 2017 to. 2018 H2 N3 virus pandemic that killed. 61,000 I was looking at up the hardest. part with that right now is those. numbers have been accumulated over a. year plus and we only have had a month. or whatever to collect these numbers. right now yeah I mean it even says 20. 2017 2018 but over a year it killed.
61,000. people now the other one was the big one. at the end the flu for this year for. 2020 the flu cases reported 45 million. wow hospitalizations 415,000. deaths 48,000 H that's worldwide no. that's the United States oh really yeah. wow I know that's what I'm saying. haven't even heard about the flu this. year well that's the thing it's like. it's not sexy cuz it happens every year.
right you know it's like the sky monster. if the sky monster never appeared before. and then one day the first tornado hit. and tore apart Nashville we'd be like. what in the [ __ ] is God's mad at us. right that's how they used to feel back. in the it's just one person's case I. read remember last week I read someone. that got tested for the flu and they. tested positive and then weeks later got. tested for the covid-19 and then tested. positive for that but they weren't. tested for Co at the time they're tested. for the flu because they didn't have a. test right so there could be a lot of. people that tested positive for the flu.
maybe that never had a covid-19 test. yeah could be yeah I. mean do they I mean it I guess it. depends on whether or not they have the. tests available in different places too. right I'm just now reading to there's a. new new test that just got made today. that's faster results oh yeah yeah. there's a five minute test like it's. like an Easy Bake Oven of testing Jamie. what are we going to do if you test POS. positive oh yeah I don't know yeah. you're in contact bro I already have it.
then means I because I'm testing. positive doesn't mean right could be you. know mean you're out there spreading it. carrier get out of here son of a [ __ ]. don't pet my dog you [ __ ] oh that's too. late I didn't even think of that I don't. they sent the email out what was. yesterday Saturday I guess so like it's. too late they when the [ __ ] did they get. it that's when they got to the hospital. and called the apartment building and. said hey you might want to let everybody. know are you washing your hands a lot. you guys doing the whole thing oh yeah. I'm washing the [ __ ] out of my hands my. hands are annoyed at me dried I'm lucky.
I got some uh hand sanitizer like oh. before the the crash right before it. happened the crash uh I was uh opening. up for Tom Green in San Diego and Tom. Green was the first person that I knew. that was kind of like panicking a little. like he he's like I just bought a crate. of Lysol mini LOLs and he was spraying. the microphone down on stage and like. and I was like he's taking a little uh. overboard literally like a week later. everyone's doing that Tom Green the head. of the curve. yeah [ __ ] it's uh it's spooky dude who.
was it that had a friend was it Tom Papa. whose friend was warning him long in. advance no it wasn't Tom Papa it was ber. kryer ber kryer had a friend who was. warning him way in advance listen you. need to isolate you need to get your. family out and he was like what it was. ber right put your shirt on yeah take. your shirt on put your shirt back on. you're uh just you need need to isolate. quickly get away from everybody cuz it's. going to spread right through America.
and he was like what and this was. apparently in February and he was like. this lady's crazy wow and then he texted. her like in the beginning of March when. it was on and popping he's like you're. right my point about uh showing those. numbers was not to diminish the impact. of uh this current pandemic it was just. to highlight the fact that uh we live in. a war zone we live in a a virus war zone. that takes out thousands of people every. year in this country and I don't think.
most of us are really keeping our eye on. that you know like you hear about deaths. by the flu and you know they're never. they're never shocking deaths by some. new thing for some reason even if it's. the same number of deaths or less even. right so far less freak us the [ __ ] out. seems like it's happening more though. like if you go on TMZ is like somebody. dies every day like this old you know. philosopher or this old poet or this old. musician and like you never hear that in. the past like oh he died of the flu that.
guy died of flu that guy died of flu. here we go Jamie just pulled something. up a total of. 19543 laboratory confirmed influenza. Associated hospitalizations were. reported bl by flu serve dnet uh sites. between October 2019 and March 21 2020. 41,100 were associated with influenza A. virus. what's that that's only 14,000 14,000. what did I say 41 oh whoops what am I.
dyslectic um influenza okay. 5,335 27.3% with influenza B that's true. too right if you get an influenza A shot. and it's influenza B you might catch it. anyway that's annoying um so that's a. lot of people right so we got. 19,500 and. 5,300 and 4,000 14,100. yeah my theory is that you you born.
sucking your thumb you were supposed to. suck your thumb your whole life and it. was supposed to keep your immune system. strong so that it would fight all these. look at the hospitalization rate was. 67.3% per oh no 67.3 per 100,000. population Which is higher than all. recent. Seasons except for the 2017 2018 season. rates in children 0 to 4 years old and. adults 18 to 49 are now the highest CDC. has on record for these age groups. surpassing the rate reported during the.
2009 H1N1 pandemic hospitalization rates. for school AED children are higher than. any recent regular season put lower than. rates during the pandemic what so what. happened in 2009 when the H1N1 kicked in. and killed all those people they didn't. shut anything down when I think what. I've been hearing is like after a. thousand people died is when things. started changing and I don't I don't. really remember what was changing back. then I don't remember I don't either do. you remember no we talked to bird again. bird had it he had the H1N1 he did yeah.
he did yeah he he said it is the sickest. he's ever been in his life um and it was. 2009 when it was all going down and he. said he couldn't sleep he was so. uncomfortable he was in just constant. pain and aching he said never never felt. sicker ever in his life and that killed. a lot of people I've had a flu like that. before where you know you're just puking. [ __ ] you can't hold anything in. you're sweat you're waking up you know. is that 2009 I don't think it was I I. feel like it was like 5 years ago or.
something like that six years ago they. can get you they can get you I hope. another thing that comes out of here is. people take their [ __ ] immune system. more seriously yeah support your immune. system you know I mean if this makes a. big just a little shift in the number of. people that get healthy little shift in. the number of people that start taking. vitamins and exercising and you know. just do something man something put a. heavy backpack on go for a walk do. something listen to the podcast oh I'm. listening to this Aaron Hernandez.
podcast Wonder has this podcast called. Gladiator about Aaron Hernandez holy. [ __ ] first of all it's a great podcast. you ever listen to wry they know what. they're doing man they they it's like. really good editing and sound editing. and they they put depth to it with all. the different sound effects and stuff. and different just different people's uh. interviews and discussions people that. knew Aaron Hernandez holy [ __ ] what a. crazy. story did you watch you watched the. tiger thing obviously I have only. watched one part of one episode okay I'm.
saving surprised I went through all. episodes in one sitting last night you. got to understand I have gone down so. many tiger rabbit holes I'm terrified to. start another one you remember that. whole bit that I had about Texas and. tigers from triggered dude I went on a. rabbit hole of tiger owners and and. people that own tigers in their backyard. because you're to love it like you love. the wild west wrot that b yeah I know. bit's done I know but you to see this. it's every person's and there's so many. twists and turns you're like this is not. real life this is not this didn't happen.
like but it did yeah yeah listen I have. all the faith in the world that white. trash people could be unbelievable God. yeah but there's so much more to it. that's like insane that we haven't heard. of this guy before like I don't like I. know right like he also had an internet. show for during all this like an Alex. Jones type internet show I feel like I. would have seen it cuz his name it was. like Joe TV I'm like of course back in. the day Jo exotic TV right is that what. it is yeah now did he have it on YouTube.
or did he only have it on his he had it. on Ustream back in the day like we did. that's what I'm saying like how did we. not see this I could be wrong but uh. yeah people didn't care that much back. then about people living with tigers. uh1 Lou you might have already seen some. of the stuff and not known yeah he did a. documentary with Joe exotic Oh did Joe. Exotic have his legs back then or no Joe. had his legs the whole time that was one. of the guys that worked for his legs but. yeah oh he does a whole hourong like. full documentary with him oh no [ __ ].
yeah I'd like to see that yeah I got. obsessed with him last night I just you. know added him on Instagram looking back. at all the photos and Lou THU is the. [ __ ] his documentaries are so good he's. absolutely one of my favorite because. he's got this style of talking to people. that eventually annoys them and yelling. at. him whether it's whether it's the U West. Barrow Baptist Church church or um my. favorite one was this uh he was at this. Wild game Park in Africa where people go.
over there and like shoot rhinos and you. know they they they they pay x amount. for that and Y amount for this and he. interviews these people in these Wild. game parks and he stays there for like. three weeks and eventually just annoys. this guy to the point where the guy. snaps and is just ran about Africa about. the only way that these animals are ever. going to survive is if there were. something he's like Africa is [ __ ]. and the way he was saying it to him was. like this really intense speech that he.
gave to th like all th's Annoying him. for all those days and standing by him. like so you're about to feed the tiger. oh God it wasn't Tigers but he had lions. and they were throwing they like a dead. cow and they threw it overboard they was. throwing these chunks over the fence and. these Lions would just tear it apart and. I'm like oh my God and he's there. standing there watching us through like. two fences with then there's a pickup. truck and you look in these things eyes. they look [ __ ] ferocious and so angry.
they look so angry that they're in that. cage and so angry that they they have to. get their food this way and he was just. pastoring this dude pastoring them it's. it's great it's one of my favorite. documentaries ever on. how perplexing that situation is in. Africa they have more animals there than. ever like all their different animals. that were on the verge of Extinction are. now thriving but they're thriving. because they're valuable and people go. over there to shoot them so it's like.
oh what do you make of that that's. people that's people we're so messy like. we never do anything like like these. animals were on the verge of Extinction. but now due to the generous donations of. the millions of people in the world. these animals are healthy and they're. they're thriving and numbers greater. than we've ever seen before we could. just go out in a car and watch these. Lions take out these gazel there's no. way they'd pay for it that way for if. you want if you want to make real money.
you got to make it valuable for people. to go over there and shoot those things. and eat them that's just [ __ ] it's. kind of crazy because it's the only way. that that it works like we're so. selfish but on the other hand I heard. kudu meat is delicious really yeah I. heard it's the best if you want to go. shoot a kudu you go over there with your. friends enjoy a nice nice cooked meals. it's kudoo everywhere you go out you. shoot one take a picture with it hey we.
had a good time in Africa you eat it. yeah we atte it it was awesome brought a. bunch of it back froze. it I mean you're eating burgers anyway. isn't it better to just go out there and. shoot a kudu with a rifle and have a. crazy story behind it and a memory that. you'll never forget and also a respect. but we don't think about it that way we. think God damn it they're only worth. something if you could shoot at them it. would be nice if it was both. maybe there's competing conservation. efforts like one conservation effort.
like the people that want no animals. getting shot look you guys can have this. Ranch let's see how you do and then the. people that want to pay to shoot animals. have the other Ranch and that that ranch. has a fuckload of. money how which one's going to do better. the one that operates on donations or. the one where people fly from Cincinnati. to shoot. audu I bet the one where they fly and. they pay to shoot audu I bet that one. does better lot of similarities with. this tiger movie man what you just.
said well Texas does I mean it's another. place where Texas is like they don't. give a [ __ ] that's a that's a whole. different kind of America remember Ohio. when we they had to change that law and. I think was Zanesville where the guy. yeah he let all his animals out and. there tigers yeah yeah we watched that. we watched clips of that in the Joe. Exotic the that the Tiger King when you. see the beginning of it that's it's. really disturbing to see all those. animals those cops how of shoot yeah. virtual reality hunting is probably.
going to be the future actually did you. ever see Tyson when he's explaining to. me where why he got a tiger. yeah I love Tyson man have you been. listening to his podcast he's great he's. he's great he's so genuine he's so. genuine like that's what we all want you. know whether we agree with you or not. agree with you we want you to be there. for real like you might maybe you're. making mistakes maybe you're looking at. things the wrong way but I want you to I. I can't listen unless I know that you're. really there Mike Tyson is really there. when he's talking about anything he's.
not bullshitting you he's not an actor. putting on a facade he's he's Mike Tyson. and there's something about that man. that especially in like these [ __ ] up. times where everything is confusing it's. very refreshing to see someone's. authentic Take On The World and be. honest about their journey in life and. whose journey in life has been more. strange and out of thee ordinary and.
spectacular than Mike [ __ ] Tyson I. mean Mike Tyson has had one of the most. extraordinary lives a human being has. ever had ever you know and people they. might try to diminish that in some way. because he's had some run-ins with the. law or because of uh the nature of the. way he became famous by being the most. violent man on the planet the you know. know the best heavyweight boxer of his. era but he you to get to be someone like.
he is you have to have some. extraordinary horsepower inside your. will like your will is a supercharged. engine there's something about that. guy's will and his mind he might not be. the the most articulate most well read. most studied man on Earth he's not that. but he's. extraordinary he you have to be. extraordinary to do what he did there's.
no way around it he was so much better. than anybody else when he was coming up. and you could only maintain that kind of. power and that that kind of ferocity for. a certain amount of time I feel like a. person at that kind of pace that he was. at you can't really maintain that very. long he was such a destroyer but if you. go back and watch him knocking out. Michael Spinx and knocking out Mar. Frasier and just smashing Larry Holmes. when Larry Holmes was still I think. Larry Holmes was in his 30s he was still.
he wasn't in his prime but he was still. Larry [ __ ] Holmes he smashed. everybody I miss those days like. watching TV the old Tyson fights that. was like a Super Bowl every time like. they just getting right it was a family. affair you get the whole family around I. know everyone would get together but you. get mad if he was going to fight someone. who was going to be like 15 seconds like. [ __ ] Bruce Seldon come on man you get. mad did you did you see this little clip. of him before the fury Wilder fight. where he meets Chad Johnson in the back. of the Arena oh no [ __ ] and he all right.
watch what the interaction why this went. big is cuz the interaction when he. notices the cameraman behind Chad. Johnson are we going to get pulled I'm. not going to play the whole thing on. it's only like 10 seconds okay it went. it went pretty viral though so it's like. newsworthy is what went viral about it. watch his here we go. oh that dude's filming he's like what. you doing with that phone he got right.
in his face [ __ ] his pants probably oh. how would you not [ __ ] your pants yeah. Mike Tyson is tired of people filming. him I I found him to be very sincere I. really enjoy his company like I enjoyed. talking to him uh before the show it was. it's kind of surreal I met him at the. com at uh excuse me at the UFC I met him. at the UFC a few years back I got a. photo with him and he's like you're that. dude who smokes all that weed. [Laughter]. and I started laughing I what's up man. Mike Tyson knowing who I was was just.
strange him wearing that biker jacket. the old black classic biker Jack yeah. kind of kind of like that looks cool I. want to go back to yeah he's an. interesting guy man for sure I I love. that he's got his podcast he was gonna. um they asked me to be on it um through. Skype I'm just going to wait I want to. be there in person man where's he. recorded at wait till that [ __ ] blows. over and then I'll go visit look at that. he's yeah he's great. man yeah he's um he's he's getting. really good at this him and Eminem oh.
[ __ ] that's Eminem. yeah yeah yeah very interesting how did. Eminem get a black beard what happened. didn't he use that blonde hair he died. his hair he died everything his face. hair I don't think he had face hair no I. think he bleached his hair when it was. blonde right is that what it is yeah so. that's his real hair color yeah that or. he oh okay he probably does what I do. put a little Just For Men on it in the. beard yeah that [ __ ] can [ __ ] your face. up man I uh did a rabbit hole one day on. the Just For Men and I saw this guy who. had his face burned yeah he had like.
burns like chemical burns on his face. from maybe wasn't Just For Men but some. kind of beard hair dye probably you got. to wash it out you can't just leave yeah. just for men but he wanted it really. dark yeah he wanted to really freak. people out see but Google like uh hair. Dy face burn I mean it's a [ __ ]. chemical man shake my head last night. because of George Greg Fitz Simmons man. you like Greg went he got rid of the. sides I needed a haircut I'm not it's G. to be a month till I get a haircut yeah. there's something about the sides that. hold you back if you're a bald man with. the sides unless you're doing a lot of.
ass even I just were thinking about this. you're supposed to like test any hair. dye on your skin just to make sure you. don't have any sort of bad reactions to. it bro who's reading that no one's. reading that you almost have to but like. no one does I know but no dudes don't. read when I bleached my hair you know I. used to bleach my hair like once a year. it would there would be Burns there. would be scabs in my hair I would just. peel out scabs cuz it I mean it just. fried my head well they said that. there's a uh a link that they're. exploring between women dying their hair. and breast cancer have you have you read.
this yeah there's always a link of. something that's a scary link though man. but if you think about it if a woman is. dying her hair on a regular basis how. often the chicks dye their hair every. two months every two months it's gray. imagine if you take in Poison every two. months cuz your skin is you know the. dermis of your skin the epidermis your. skin absorbs all kinds of stuff I mean. your skin absorbs magnesium through the. float tank it's one this study says it's. for permanent hair dye and chemical hair. straighteners so that's not quite the.
same as like what most people use most. people use like a semi what is what is. for permanent hair dye the researchers. say women use permanent hair dye and. chemical have a chemical hair strainers. have a higher risk for breast cancer oh. okay so it's not the temporary hair dye. that most gals get so all these chicks. going great need to cut it. out I'd like it if you pretend you're. not aging please yeah go back what would. you rather have though a woman that had. long gray hair or just shaved her head I. don't listen man I don't want to answer. these questions however experts say.
women shouldn't give up hair products. based on this study alone what experts. say who the [ __ ] I hate when they say. that experts say who experts in what. well I'm really good at par cheesy. National Institute of Health yeah what. do they. know nothing. right I don't know don't trust anybody. man I'm going Eddie Bravo on this [ __ ]. they're all lying Liars they're all in. bed with the [ __ ] die company um for. chicks the head shave is a SC scary move.
yeah it's a scary move some girls pull. it off though some gangster gals have. done that during isolation they've. they've shaved their [ __ ] heads gone. with a crew cut start wearing wigs girls. can wear wigs man yeah girls can wear. wigs guys cannot nope nope I got a. pretty good wig right now girls can do. whatever they want we'll still [ __ ] them. imagine if guys had fake tits girls. would be like what are you doing those. he didn't even real muscles they're way. more picky than we are you know if they. have fake boobs we're like awesome we. don't even care if they're fake we know.
they're fake it means nothing it's not. like we need to be tricked we're so. stupid we're like oh look you got water. bag make them poke out more I like. better we like the fact that they look. fake as Fu it's like there's a shape. burned into our DNA and that shape is. plump tits and whatever you need to do. to get to that but if a guy has some. plastic rod and it's [ __ ] that that. stretched it out and made it harder if.
women found out about that they'd be. like. e. yuck yeah dudes are not allowed to have. fake. Hogs do they like any do would a woman. prefer anything fake on a guy H do they. like anything that anything at all I'm. sure some women yeah attention spam they. want you to pretend they want you to. pretend you give a [ __ ] about their dumb. stories you got to sit there oh and then. she said that. huh that's what some women like and some.
women don't even like that see you can't. generalize don't be a sexist pig Jamie. so embarrassing asking questions so. embarrassing to be on this podcast and. you say something so sexist that's. there's dudes that'll do that they'll. throw you right into the bus be very. careful of those people very careful of. those gender traitors those guys who. they know you're [ __ ] around they'll. throw you in front of the bus right in. front of the ladies why will they do. that because they're weak [ __ ] and.
there's a lot of them out there and. those are the ones that don't have guns. I bet right now those are the ones those. are the ones that are 13th in line at. the gun store and it's 10 to5 and they. know they're not going to make it [ __ ]. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] I need a gun [ __ ] did. they did they close them does gun gun. stor they hear that no they're 24 hours. they give away guns they drop them out. of helicopters through the roof and then. they just distribute them evenly they. were supposed to close them and then. they in Burbank and then they said they. were going to just raid the place if. they don't close them and then I think. Trump just said yesterday or two days.
ago that it's consal yeah essential. essential and I have a Pista but Burbank. Police are like we're not even going to. like mess with this we don't we don't. care they're not arresting anybody for. anything just we're over here just let. us know if [ __ ] gets really. crazy Mad Max did you play the new Doom. yet scared oh my God it's scary I got to. say I was a little little disappointed. that they didn't have Death Match they. didn't have one-on-one Death Match no. they don't have like you versus a bunch.
of people in a room just killing each. other I thought they had that no right. they don't right you have to it's like. two working again new type of. multiplayer mode I hope they come to. their senses it could it could be a. downloadable content L I just got the. new halflife uh you were big in the. halflife back in the day right yeah I. heard it's in VR now oh my [ __ ] did you. get in VR I got in VR and I got the. finger tracking so I can sit there and. pick out like a single single bullet and. put it in you know like type [ __ ] it is.
it it's gloves you have gloves it's no. it's just like these uh flip slip over. the finger controll yeah it's yeah and. and what's weird is that it's uh I got. the uh Vive index which is like the. highest end uh one you can get uh and. it's so real that it's like the first. time where I felt like I was in a room. before it's always like I'm in a room in. VR now this was like this is too. realistic like there was a part where I. had to open this old elevator I'm like. I'm not walking in this elevator is that. good how's the definition I mean it's.
it's it's amazing you're both nodding. very vigorously no no it's it's like. it's so real that I couldn't I was too. scared to walk in the elevator cuz I. hate elevators I'm in it's scary though. well I'm hoping that Doom does that and. then look the the the what we did see at. Doom looks [ __ ] amazing it looks. amazing I mean the [ __ ] Graphics are. off the chart the gameplay looks really. cool the weapons look [ __ ] totally. badass but but if they did that in VR oh. my God they do have a doom in VR yeah. it's not quite there yet close to that.
they did Doom Eternal in VR and you you. put it you put that [ __ ] in a warehouse. and you run through the game in a couple. hours too much cowers you would burn the. world would be ripped we get people in. such good shape cuz if you had something. like Doom right and you're in a. warehouse like like I told you they do. with sandbox sandbox has a bunch of dope. games like that but they don't have. anything that goes on for like 3 hours. or like if there was a place where you. could go we could get blocks a time like. yeah I reserved uh you know Warehouse 4.
from 9 to 12 and it's you and like five. friends and you have three [ __ ] hours. three. hours with fake guns and resources and. you drink real water and you're. wandering around this. Warehouse you got to try half life what. if they had a virtual toilet you don't. even take your VR off to piss. you walk up to a toil it's a real. toilet they have these suits now you. yeah they have these suits now you could.
buy that you put on that vibrate so you. feel things and like you could be like. in a game and you could feel water like. like water drops hit you and stuff and. they have all these trackers now that. you could put and you can do that with. doom I mean with um half you could. almost do it to any game if you know. what you're doing that's a problem man. there's a lot of PC [ __ ] involved with. having VR you know like I wanted like. the the Vive Quest I think it's called. where it's you don't have any PC you. just put it on you know that's the. future because you know but right now.
you still have to hook it up to a nice. PC dude we got Oculus and on one of the. Oculus ones it's the the the one that's. really dope cuz it's just a headset and. it works off of an iPad right and the. one where you walk the plank you walk. out there oh that's the scariest [ __ ]. ever yeah I have that [ __ ] up but this. the the new stuff like I have. unfortunately still have cameras. everywhere tracking but like uh you. could lay down it it and like it knows. like if if you see something you could. lean in and pick something out you're. you know it's room scale so you're.
walking dude yeah yeah it's the future. the future is you're not going to have a. life you're going to get sucked into. those things and you're going to be. playing them all day long because it's. going to be way better than life you're. going to be working your [ __ ] job at the. Amazon warehouse can't wait to go home. and you're going to get home strap that. [ __ ] headset on and party when you're. trapped inside it gives you more space. to explore which is like probably a. little bit of a mental Escape well I. think this is also going to open up a. lot true I think in the future a lot. more people are going be going to be. using like video conferencing and stuff.
like that instead of meetings because we. realize how way better this is instead. of meeting and getting you know going to. this business and working you could just. sit there and talk nowadays I don't know. why people don't Skype more or use this. you know technology that's well I think. people want to go outside and experience. life and still want to meet in a. building to work. together I think people still like that. you think this is going to change. anything like that yeah man everyone's. going to be afraid how long is it going. to be before you can just hug a stranger.
D college is going to change cuz like. how many kids are learning right now. they're like ah what the [ __ ] was I. going to [ __ ] lecture for so dumb. scared everyone's going to be so scared. the concerts but meanwhile the last big. concert that I saw was um who the [ __ ]. was it in Denver they got in trouble. always. tired always tired tattoo post postow. this weed is too strong I just had four. extra hits for some strange reason uh he.
did a show in Denver he was like one of. the last ones to do it I was looking out. and it was like you know 18,000 people. or some [ __ ] the Pepsi Center I looked. out there I'm like wow it's a lot of. people that could get it. mhm all those Spring Breakers stacked on. top of each other after that did you. like someone made they Ed some computer. program to track cell phone data and. they showed all these people like on a. little teeny part of Fort Lauderdale. Beach over like two-day period and then. watch their cell phones disperse across. the country and see where the disease. they [ __ ] took off everywhere not.
that everyone there had a disease. showing you how fast disase they're all. stupid they're all young they're all. infected with young yeah it I didn't see. that but I'm not surprised what's weird. like April 1 was like you know when this. first [ __ ] first started happening I. think like the comic story like we're. going to be closing to around April 1st. you know now that's not going to happen. it might be may I think the Governor. said he wants two months right yeah did. he say two months from now or two months.
total I don't know two months from now I. think it's from now from now yeah so. June [ __ ] I don't understand like if you. were like a waiter I know when I was a. waiter for 10 years I went paycheck to. paycheck you know if I the real problem. is unemployment if they were I mean they. have to be honest too about the uh the. tips and so these are all their cell. phones yes this is zooming in on a like. they combine two data sets to show like. this is like what companies actually use.
for tracking advertising stuff normally. but this company's tried to show how. fast [ __ ] can spread so they're they're. showing a little heat map of cell phones. on a little piece of uh Beach here in. Florida and then they take all of those. data points and then he he makes the. timeline go ahead a couple days and you. just watch them spread from there wow. and it's [ __ ] nuts so it's not even. that many of them it's probably a couple. thousand think said it was 6,000 of them. or 5,500 of them maybe and then he just. let's timeline go ahead a little bit wow.
and those that want to see this you can. look up a Twitter account called. tectonics Geo how interesting and you'll. see the video there but they all over. everywhere I mean it's half the country. wow you know what's also crazy it really. is a cell phone because the cell phone's. so dirty who cleans their cell phone you. touch your ass you touch your cell phone. you touch your dick you touch your cell. phone you touch your nose you touch your. cell phone you put your cell phone on. the table or someone else's cell phone. was you put your cell phone in your. pocket you fart on it.
put cell phone in your car your car is. disgusting I mean and even when dirty I. know that like if I have something. crunchy on my screen it's not like I'm. clean I'm just like it's annoying. scratch it off there I'm not washing my. cell phone but I'm going to start. washing it one thing good is uh I got. the iPhone 11 it's a ip68 MH so if you. don't have a phone that is uh that's. waterproof do you have the green one. yeah I got a green one bro I'll bring. him in I have some Windex uh. specifically for electronics wipes thank.
God but it's too late get that get that. phone cleaner I got man yeah maybe. that's a move everybody puts their phone. in a heater a microw what is it what. kind of light is it ultra violet same as. that thing yeah how weird is that kills. their DNA that seems really malicious. why don't we just all replace our light. bulbs with these lights and. dude well some guy was saying that we. should uh carry around these ozone. things if you there's a thing that deer. hunters have been using forever and it's.
a ozone spray so you stand there and. this ozone bath washes over you so even. if deer are coming up wind right so. they're walking into the wind and your. smell is blowing in their face your. smell is covered by this ozone ozone. spray that's what Stoners used to buy. from water beds and stuff and spray in. like rental cars after they're returning. them that was real ozone but that was. the name of the brand o it's pretty. close yeah o yeah but real ozone it.
actually does on some levels mask your. scent like you could see a deer smell it. they get confused like because if a deer. smell you they just get the [ __ ] out we. stink to Deer really that's the number. one tool that they have to get away from. humans is smell because they don't see. you from like 500 yards away they don't. pay they're not you're not an immediate. threat you're all the way over there. you're moving they might go what is that. let me get the [ __ ] out of here but. they're they're generally confident that. at 500 yards away from you they can kind.
of get away from you quick enough but if. you're close to them and they smell you. they [ __ ] run they run dude they run. like if you're in the close meaning. realistically they could smell you a. couple hundred yards 300 yards the wind. comes to them it catches them they see. it and they just start bouncing away. they run away we stink we smell like. meat we smell like something that eats. meat you know we smell like a predator. we smell gross so they're like [ __ ]. imagine someone you can smell the way. you smell skunk wow if you smelled a.
person like over the top of a hill like. a wind gush you like you smell that [ __ ]. we got to get out of here that's what. it's like to them it's like if skunks. were murderous animals looking to shoot. at you or being in India in India why in. India CU you could smell people in India. oh especially now yeah they can't even. leave the house they get you see in. India where they're attacking them if. you're in the streets they're just like. beating the [ __ ] out of like the police.
so there's a bunch of different. countries that are going to do that yeah. the China One was the scariest way when. they're dragging those people away I was. like what is going. on I guess there's photos uh of like. outside of our hospitals here in Los. Angeles of just semis filled with bodies. I somebody posted the other day well how. many people have died in Los Angeles uh. not that much so I don't know you sure. they weren't C. I think it's because they're they have. to cuz they have the virus and they died. to the virus they have to keep them like. separate from like.
regular I don't know. bro what's your take on this give me the. Brian Red Band take when do we get out. of this uh I think it's we're in it for. a lot longer than we think I think like. a good two more months maybe Max uh and. I think we are I think this is just. [ __ ] weird does this a precedent do. you think I think there's a lot of. depression issues I know a lot of people. if if I was single right now I would not. be able to take this disturbing video. shows dead bodies loaded onto truck.
outside New York City Hospital New. York say it's a freezer truck though but. yeah still but here's here's my question. are they G what if the flu next year is. particularly vicious are we going to do. this all over. again this is the question like so this. could come back in the fall that Dr FY. gu saying so like beak in the summer and. how long are they sing on The Cure well. they don't even think they can come up. with a vaccine for 16 to 18 months right. that's what they said because of how. they do the testing and whatnot I think.
they said 18 months it's like they're. hopeful for a year and a half can't they. do like what China did when they built. those hospitals get like every single. person in the world together and be like. let's all figure this out in a month I. don't know if they can I don't know if. they can man I know everyone's donating. their computer processing power right. now to get try to find a cure for it I. don't know if you saw that there's that. where you know could install that thing. on your computer and so when you're not. using it it's using your computer to. help you know cloudbased like find a.
thing and I want you know I wonder if. everyone did that well I mean if they. they need to do clinical trials and. clinical trials take time so if they do. this Chlor queen stuff or some other. things that they come up with they have. to try them on animals they have to. figure out whether or not it would work. on people and then they have to try it. on people there's a whole process that. they have to go through it's not like. there's some miracle that they're. holding back on that's what's so scary. about this. [ __ ] when we were at the CDC um in uh.
Galveston Texas Duncan and I went down. there and I think it's the Center for. Disease Control I think that's what it's. called this building where they house. everything that'll kill you ebola all. all kinds of [ __ ] that'll just kill. everybody Jes in this big ass building. with super thick walls and vacuum they. were explaining how they suck all the. air out of the room with they have. vacuum hoses and these guys are built. like you know they have these suits that. are built like astronaut suits like. they're on the moon and it's crazy. protection that they have and then.
they're working with these viruses and. these deadly diseases I'm like like a. bad idea oh my God it's so terrifying. talking to him me and Duncan both. freaked out because at first we were. thinking what if Russia came up with. some kind of crazy disease and turned it. on the world you know we were scared of. that like what about weaponized viruses. what about that and they were like yeah. yeah that can happen but you know what's. happening all the time new viruses. they're like we're what we're really. scared of is [ __ ] like the Spanish flu.
or H1N1 or all these different flu that. just show up and wipe out people in a. different way like the Spanish Flu. particularly killed young men like. really healthy men with really good. immune systems for for whatever reason. those are the ones that got jacked a lot. of them it was a weird like this one. kind of for it's not as bad for young. people but it's much worse for old. people some some of them vary some of. them really bad for young people yeah. some of it's random yeah and those he. was really scared of that he was like. this is what we're concerned about we're.
concerned about nature itself we're not. concerned about people making some sort. of a weaponized virus he's like that. would be terrible but what we're. concerned with is what's happening all. the time these viruses are mutating and. morphing and changing and becoming more. powerful and resistant to antibiotics. and. like bro he scared the [ __ ] out of both. of us we walked out of there and we're. like. man it just made us realize like oh this.
just hasn't happened in our lifetime. like you know in a way that's we're. confronted with it until now you know. now it's. happening there's some new thing that we. don't have a cure for you know then you. add Internet and social media to that. and it's just panic and you know you're. not just seeing the news every. night and there's value in it if you. freak people out they'll click on links. if they click on the links you get all.
the ad Revenue if you writing some. sensationalist story that's real click. baity with a click baity title people. jump to it and then you get those ad. clicks so you're. encouraged to make these sensationalist. stories that are interesting to read and. I'm as guilty as anybody if I see. something ridiculous I'm like what what. did he say what what did she do where. did she get that money and I'll go click. on it too and then when I'm disappointed. I'm like oh how many people read the. whole. thing you know yeah I've read something.
the other day that was I think was. clickbait not real about how meth might. fight the Corona virus did you. read think me and Eddie Bravo used to. always joke about how there's no one. who's like a a meth proponent like a. weed. proponent there's no one out there. because there's [ __ ] people try to. evangelize with weed right yeah oh tons. yeah and mushrooms oh yeah mushrooms. yeah me I'm guilty of that all of us do. but you have something that you you.
think it's spectacular and you want. other people to try it we were like does. anybody do that with meth yeah if. anybody's like dude you want to clean. your [ __ ] apartment yeah there's cads. that that that do that doesn't seem as. bad like there is uh medical purposes. for cocaine but yet medical purposes. there's nothing for bth what medic. there's well there is ader all's pretty. close was going to say if you called. meth Aderall then you definitely have. lots of proponents for it yeah dude. Aderall is real close to meth yeah and I.
know multiple people that have a real. issue with that stuff some of them that. have completely lost their. mind Aderall is like any other thing. where you're perturbing your natural. state all the time like your balance. gets off you don't know where you are. you don't know what you're doing you. don't know what you're saying you're. saying things then realizing that you. said them after you said them you're. talking constantly like you know what. happens those [ __ ] Aderall heads they. get real weird they get real weird they. get angry at people that did nothing to.
them they think there's conspiracies. they think there's helicopters flying. around looking for them they get methy. they get real methy especially if. they're abusing it and most most are it. seems like yes a lot of them are taking. it off label a lot of them are just. taking it. recreationally they're just taking it. because they they want they want a. little juice is there any ice in there. yeah there's eyes in there and cooties. probably cooies in those eyes don't. reach your hands in.
there these are pretty good these little. oh they're the [ __ ] CBD 25 milligrams of. CBD in each one of them I'm super. addicted Mango Tango kill Cliff yeah. this is the new this is the new flavor. the Mango Tango flavor it's weird I a. bunch of new ones I like mango and. things but like raw mango I always get. feels it feels like like new carpet like. chemical taste see that's just cuz you. smoke is that why yeah opens up some. murdered your taste buds Mango's. delicious how often do you smoke. cigarettes though not much I mean this.
jewel is my favorite thing ever look you. got a little Jes oh my God we're going. to die. uh yeah that's just sorry about that no. worries uh don't put that back your. glass oh I'm not going to drink that I. was like you're a [ __ ] Savage he's. got cigar butts in there and. [ __ ] he's like we're back on Fear Factor. um what were we saying uh no like these. Jewels I mean I got I got really into.
the jewels and it seems you know I used. to when I smoked I would wake up in the. morning and like breathe like I could. feel the cigarette in my lungs and like. I don't have that anymore but I also. noticed I suck on this thing all day. like it's a lollipop you know and that. cannot be good well I found out from. Adam Curry what the [ __ ] Lowdown is. Adam Curry you know uh the original guy. who came up with podcast he's the the. mac daddy the OG he's like our Lucy like.
Lucy that that was that was that fake. was Lucy faked Lucy do you know what I'm. talking about Lucy's the first fossil of. mankind humankind a woman that they. found who's like one of the um the first. recognizable Homo sapiens I think or one. of our ancestors one of the first. recognizable ancestors but someone said. that there something faked about it that. there was a recent controversy and I. didn't look into it but I'm remembering. it right.
now was Adam before Leo remember Leo. well he was on that show well Leo was on. that show screen I [ __ ] Lov that show. I love that was my super nerd days too. when I was that was the days when I was. actually making computers you know I. would I would go and buy all the parts. and put computers together and [ __ ] I. love that show but Adam started his [ __ ]. I mean he gave us the whole timeline on. the show but it's super clear he's the. first he he wasn't the first he's the.
the first that survived it's still. around today for sure right he's he. preceded Us by many years yeah but uh he. was uh he had an idea to do this [ __ ]. back when he was on MTV he just happened. to be beautiful he's like a super long. nerdy guy who just happened to be. beautiful when he was young you know cuz. you you would kind of dismiss him as. being a pretty boy but he's a genius. brilliant guy and I really really dug. talking to him like he's really cool you. would like him too man he's super cool.
and super [ __ ] smart and super tuned. in to all aspects of privacy and the. internet and you know he's telling us. about phones that are that are they're. making these new phones that are Linux. based phones that are completely private. they don't send any data to anywhere. he's into that kind of [ __ ] he's into. those laptops that Snowden uses that. have kill switches on them so you can. kill the microphone and kill the like. with an actual physical switch kill the. webcam yeah I like all those old MTV.
like Matt Penfield remember him the the. guy did Headbangers ball the bald guy. and like all those old MTV we grew up. with those were our DJs or video DJs you. know remember Kennedy yeah she's a Fox. News Republican P yeah did she look same. she like the sexy glasses she looks. great she looks really good considering. how long she's been on television for. you know I mean she's got to be at least. my age she definitely looks better than. puck right I haven't seen that poor guy.
he had a rough go of it yeah what. Kennedy is on she's still on MTV right I. mean on uh I mean on Fox News Right was. was she's not anymore currently on. Hiatus on Hiatus did she get in trouble. no coronavirus programming it's oh it's. all webcams and [ __ ] they're all going. to just give up and start doing podcasts. they're going to realize you [ __ ] up. that that all that Fox News stuff and. with all that all that being in a studio. come on news is so stupid like I love.
how they're sitting farther apart but. they're like sitting like 2 feet away. like all right come on you're not social. distancing responsibly the local NBC. channel like they're all over at. somebody's house and you can tell it's. the same house CU it's the same lighting. and they're obviously not going to have. a cameraman at three different houses. you know so they they they have one guy. in the living room one guy in the dining. room and then like the B reporter guy. he's like sitting in front of like a. garbage can in the kitchen imagine if. the Corona virus Corona virus forced. everyone into doing podcasts and all. regular television died it's close I.
hope it's close but people still rely on. those big names to like I want to hear. what the BBC has to say about it you. know I want to see I want to see what. NBC says it's pretty amazing how much I. I watch YouTube more than I watch TV. nowadays like everything's YouTube now I. subscribe to people like every day I'm. like oh I want to see the latest episode. oh yeah for sure I I waste a lot of. [ __ ] time on it too looking at car. videos like looking at old hot rod. videos and stuff um Richie builds what.
were we just talking about [ __ ] I was. gonna ask you a question everything's. going on podcast Kennedy Gone In and Out. in and out of my brain it had something. to do with uh with the these shows what. they oh I can't how many people are. doing podcast now I was doing a podcast. switching everything it's not you're not. helping. I got way too high but I needed that. like on a day like this it's just too. weird I don't want to be sober right now.
yeah I'm watching car videos though I. love watching Love car videos I love old. cars that I'll never own I don't even. want them but I like watching them some. dude driving old Fiat the other day on a. Mountain Road I was like oh look at that. that looks cool I don't want to do. that I I just think there's something. about mechanical things that people. create and work on that's my favorite. part about it I like these new car or. these cars these companies are taking. like old classic cars and then gutting a. Tesla and putting all the Tesla stuff.
inside of it there's a Russian car car. company that's doing that now with a. 1967 Mustang wow but they're building. the Mustang out of pure carbon. fiber yeah so it's going to be really. light and they estimated a 0 to 60 of. 2.2 seconds so you find this it's like a. it's a really new company that's coming. out with this what do you have to do. when you get when if you buy that and. you need to get it fixed you have to. take it back to them you got to send it. to Rich benois yeah send it to Rich. rebuilds yeah to Electric Garage.
Massachusetts where's this place give. him a shout out think Massachusetts. sounds right he so yeah but I mean we're. in Massachusetts he's great right he. just put a video up. about nipples and this little kid I love. him did he where did you get this did he. give this to you he give it to me yeah. he added to the collection I love his. videos he's uh he keeps Tesla honest he. keeps everybody honest hates a lot. though on the model X and that kind of. drives me crazy New Hampshire no he. doesn't live in New Hampshire hey man. the electrified garage comes it's in New.
Hampshire huh weird newshire I I thought. he was in M maybe open the garage in New. Hampshire um but uh he's on this uh. thing lately where he's talking about. superchargers C Brook New Hampshire CBR. New Hampshire is that the near the the. ba the border to Massachusetts cuz a lot. of people did that they like got places. I had friends who got houses in New. Hampshire cuz it was cheap. and you can get like a [ __ ] yard. filled with bears yeah New Hampshire's. the woods bro is it I did a girl from. New Hampshire yeah it's just over the. border from massachusett yeah Woods.
people Woods. people real woods people are main people. there was one story that I was reading. about where um these [ __ ] guys were. working during construction in Maine and. they rented a house and the neighbors. had decided that uh these people might. have the Corona and so they've been. there since September they had they've. been in the [ __ ] town since September. working on a construction site was they. they chopped a tree down and blocked. their [ __ ] driveway and threaten them. with guns they they have to quarantine.
them they're forcing them to quarantine. look at this group of local Vigilantes. try to forcibly quarantine Out of. Towners that's Maine for you that's. [ __ ] up that's Maine for you dude. Maine is a strange place it's a strange. place you ain't never seen drunk oh God. you never seen drunk to you seen like a. bar and Bangor. those people can throw down and they're. all in that you know they're in that. brutal brutal brutal cold brutal cold.
for a long time they went to the. mainland were targeted because their. license plate when they arrived back in. vinal Haven vinel Haven an exchange. between roommates and some local. residents apparently didn't go well she. said adding that a group of local. Vigilantes decided to take matters into. their own hands and barricade these guys. into their rental prop property. God Mrs McDonald called the commotion a. tremendous waste of resources noting.
that it had drawn a response from. several. officials so silly but that's Maine. there's a lot of dummies up there a lot. of nice people don't get me wrong but. you know there's a lot of dummies up. there they call them maniacs and they. get real mad if you make fun of maniac I. had a guy screaming at me I was telling. main jokes in. Maine and he was screaming he was. standing up and he was an old dude too. pointing at me screaming like he really. identified with Maine and I was trying. to understand I go I go do you identify. with Maine do you think I'm talking. about you what's going on here man why.
you mad I was making fun of the uh. number of people that were shot by deer. in Maine shot by a deer or shot hunting. deer and mistaken for a deer sorry shot. by a deer that's. hilarious and I was making this joke. about it like I mean how many [ __ ]. people live here and this guy got up I. [ __ ] live here screaming at me oh God. I was like whoa buddy these are just. jokes it doesn't make this a lot better. but this thing in Maine it's a very it's. a small island town oh even worse.
they're [ __ ] trying to keep that's. why they're saying Get Back to the. mainland I was like why are they saying. Mainland cuz they're thinking someone. came over there with the coties yeah but. those guys have been there since. September Jesus these people are just. [Laughter]. idiots dude islands are weird man I did. a gig once on Block Island Block Island. is like outside of uh Rhode Island I. believe it was the worst gig I ever did. I mean even to this day I think back I'm. like you can't get worse you'll only get.
different the place was they were. sedated what I mean s i mean like. everyone in the bar was plastered like. at a level where they couldn't even. communicate wow it was the it was one of. the weirdest things I've ever. seen me and this kid Scott. papuri He booked it me and him went. there he was the opener and I was a. closer we both sucked and it was like. 1989 and we were sleeping in a storage.
area like with containers of like. [ __ ] green beans and cans of peas. storage right there wow so there's like. racks and on the ground there was like. these beds and we had to sleep in these. beds that were in a storage unit I'm not. bullshitting there was no hotel room. there was a toilet you could take a [ __ ]. you could wash your hands there was no. bathroom no shower I was like this is. the craziest gig ever and they were mad. at us cuz uh I forget what he had said. but by the time he had gotten off stage.
the show was basically over they had. shut the show down I don't even remember. if I got to tell a joke wow I don't even. think I did I think I I might I might. have like started my act and they. stopped everything like right as he was. getting off stage and I didn't realize. what was going on but they didn't like. his language or subject matter or what. it was for sure mocking the drunks. because they were like. this this [ __ ] show sucks I mean they. were so drunk dude like no one could sit.
up straight everyone was like s that's. why I'm saying they were like sedated. they were like oh and there was only. maybe 20 people in the whole in the. whole bar I hate bars and we came over. there on a ferry to do this terrible. comedy show that's I was going to ask it. seems like a place like put and Bay put. and Bay yeah we got stuck man we. couldn't go back we had stuck we. couldn't go back until the morning and. we went back in the morning I was like. whoa that was a that was a rough one but. that's an island like you get those. people that just live on this little. island and they just get hammered.
together yeah there's a few of those. islands it's not a happy Island you. think of Island life you think of like. Kawai you know where lared Hamilton. Kawai is that Kiwa is surfing C I know. cold islands are not the same no cold. islands are different you don't get no. Gabby Reese on them cold Islands. I heard Hawaii didn't have any any coron. virus and they closed off Hawaii is that. true they should good move for them shut.
it down if you can afford it because. people coming over they're going to. bring it the question is what if they. bring just you. know what if they bring it and uh it. doesn't affect them the way it affects. everybody else they have a few they have. a few cases two 175 you heard about. Germany No exceptionally low ality rates. like less than somewhere in the. neighborhood of 110 to 1% less than. everywhere else really yeah and then. there's I believe Sweden and Sweden in.
an experiment they're not shutting down. anything they're not shutting down yeah. they're not shutting down restaurants or. schools or anything that could go bad. fast or not yeah how are they doing. right now maybe they're looking at it. the same way Germany's looking at it. yeah but the the whole thing is. overfilling the hospitals all at once. and not being able to treat people right. and that's why they die because they. don't get the right treatment right yeah. yeah 100% I mean it's there's no [ __ ].
real answer to this. thing it's uh it affects people so. differently some people get it and it's. almost nothing and some people. apparently in Wuhan are testing positive. again so they test negative they they. get it they get over it they test. negative then they test positive again. but they're asymptomatic they're. asymptom atic but it's it's still active. that's what people were scared of that. it's going to be a certain percentage of. the population for whatever reason.
aren't going to show any signs of this. virus and those people are going to. spread it to everyone around them and. not even know they're doing it but in in. a sense we kind of all are doing that if. you're around any people that go. anywhere other than at your house like. if you go to the store like if you're. going to the store and we're all going. to the store bro you don't know what. you're running into you're going to the. store you know I mean you hopefully are. not going to catch anything at the store. but this stuff lives in the air people. are breathing if you just I don't know.
how much it takes how much particulate. matter has to be in the air before it. can get into your mouth oh look at you. got a Bane mask and it has the filter. you wear that when you [ __ ] don't lie. not. anymore sounds sexy. anymore I was lucky I bought these. things like before the virus because of. allergies and are those good well this. has like the the filters in it the. charcoal filters and all that I don't. know if it does anything oh I'm sure the. charcoal filters do a lot yeah it's. replaceable filter sounds good but it it.
makes me feel better when I'm in public. just like the other day I was at the. grocery store and of all people an old. Chinese lady starts coughing ridiculous. and the whole grocery store was quiet. all looked over at once just stared at. her cuz she was not even like covering. her face she was just coughing up in the. air oh my God and I was like thank God I. had this I pulled out and it at least. makes me feel better like but I think. think the particles fall directly to the. ground like they're a thicker water so. it doesn't even matter like I was trying. to get my family to watch World War Z or. 28 Days Later they passed on both of.
them you got World War Z is rated PG. PG-13 really yes shot of the Dead's a. good one yeah but World War Z is. ferocious you remember that that scared. the [ __ ] out of. me I was listening to a podcast where. they were talking about this guy that. got bit by a mountain Li that was rabid. and uh. any animal that's rabid will be like. real aggressive and they'll go after you. like just think about that because it's. kind of like what it is to be a 28 Days.
Later zombie type character right you. just want to bite people to give them a. disease and that's kind of what like a a. rat who has rabies is trying to do. chasing a cat yeah or you you know or. you something like a raccoon trying to. bite these people that I was reading. about like turned out the raccoon had. rabies like oh they they when they have. rabies they want to give it away they. want to give like that's what the the. the virus is doing or the disease is. doing it's trying to get in another host. so it makes you like go get him I want. to jump into. him imagine if something like that rage.
[ __ ] from 28 Days Later gets. out that's scary so much scarier than. what we're dealing with now folks again. we have it good in comparison to how it. could be asteroid showers and rage all. at once rage gets out of the. lab the chimp bites the trainer the. trainer bites the doctor the doctor. bites the nurse the nurse bites her. friends and everybody starts biting. everybody. and it's 28 Days Later bro that's rabies.
that could happen why couldn't it happen. it can happen no power asteroid shower. grid goes down no internet people start. lying again Jesus and then. rabies I want you to feel good about. today right now we're doing good man we. can still get gas we can still get food. yeah but like there's our Internet's. already stressed they have to take down. all the Netflix and video games are. going down like 720p and there's a thing.
called books I want you to look into. them I want you to start reading come on. bro [ __ ] that [ __ ] that [ __ ] that both. of you internet went out for half hour. last night and I almost freaked out I've. uh set some good fitness goals that's. what I decided to I set like a real good. schedule of [ __ ] that I need to do that. I'm definitely going to do x amount of. days per week and I've been on that and. I [ __ ] love not traveling you know I. mean yes I'm I'm sorry for everyone. that's out of work don't get me wrong. I'm not being insensitive here I'm just.
telling you my my life the the positive. thing about not traveling is you feel. way better your body's not getting beat. up all the time yeah body gets beat the. [ __ ] up when you travel every weekend. you fly on a plane every weekend that's. positive because like I we had to cancel. obviously a bunch of shows and just. being at home you God I love it no. stress no stress it's nice P petting. your dog yeah going for a walk in your. neighborhood all that shit's important. for people and you um you know you don't.
realize because we have this crazy life. where we're always flying around you. don't realize how unsettling that is. until you're home for a period of time. we should do residencies in La the way. they do residencies in Vegas to I guess. we kind of do already at The Comedy. Store like set up shop at a small. theater just like I'm not going anywhere. anymore he want. yeah you want to travel we're doing. shows in Burbank you know we'll buy a. 500 seat theater in Burbank do shows. there every weekend there's one right.
across the street from Bob's Big Boy cuz. you can travel I don't have to travel to. you you can travel I'll make the tickets. cheaper airlines are going to be so. cheap when we get back and running. everyone's going to be like please fly. please we're hanging on by a thread je. last night the cheap as [ __ ] cheap as. [ __ ] right like flying neck this weekend. you could buy first class for under 500. bucks that's crazy round trip to China. was 400 I mean that's round trip should. be $400 in your bank account they should. pay. you they should give you foot massage. the whole way and say they're sorry do.
you think that's going to come though. they might shut down the airlines cuz. that seems like a dumb thing flying. around that's what I'm was saying I mean. look this if you look at that cell phone. map I mean we're doing a better job than. those [ __ ] kids are those kids on the. beach are doing the worst job CU they're. 17 and they're horny and they're drunk. and they have a phone but if you just. look at people people that are traveling. for a business or people that are going. to supermarkets you just if you just. look at it. honestly there's there's so much room. for it getting out I definitely think.
it's a good move to stay in as long as. possible and get as many people that are. testing negative as possible so that we. can save as many people as we can don't. get me wrong but I am saying they're not. really stopping it they're stopping some. of it you're not 100% stopping it and. they're they're not going to be able to. either you know they were talking about. quarantining New York City and Cuomo had. an interesting quote he's like it's. almost like the federal government. declaring war on States and War on. cities I was like whoa like if the.
federal government comes and says nobody. leaves and nobody goes in like oh. [ __ ] Christ are we really doing that. and Cuomo is like look that's not this. is not a good thing to do like to bring. in the military and have tanks and [ __ ]. everybody's freaking out about next step. right what is next level when you say. quarantine and now Trump is given into. this idea that it's going to take until. April 30th so he's given up on his. Easter idea and now he's saying you know. that doesn't look realistic it's looks.
more like April 30 just for the uh. personal space guidelines June 1st right. after that he's like June looks like a. great it'll be a great time like what. about May yeah what about May yeah I. think I think it's June 1st sounds like. a way more realistic thing then dude if. imagine if everybody's out of work for. three months do you know how nuts that's. going to be. all these people that had thriving. businesses and through no fault of their. own they lost all that they worked for. for decades all these people that are.
taking care of their families all these. people that are raising kids putting. kids in school you know putting kids in. daycare while they're at work all that. [ __ ] there's so much of a disruption. here and no one knows what to do no one. has a solution and but people are. blaming Trump like look man what if he. was right what if what if we were on the. bright side of this thing and they. caught her early and his Rosy. predictions proved true that would be. great they weren't but no one's were no. one knew I mean some people had a better.
idea than him for sure but no one really. knew what was going to go on and we're. really still puzzled by some places like. I was talking to this guy that was. saying there's a real issue with uh. Italy because Italy's numbers are so out. of whack you look at Germany and you. look at Italy Italy is crazy numbers and. they they're trying to think lifestyle. they're trying to think um close. proximity to family members they're. always on top of each other they live a. lot of people to a place and they they. social gather all the time and then. they're smoking they smoke a lot of. cigarettes lot of smoking yeah and then.
there's a very also very high population. of old. people yeah so then they look at Germany. and this is why I always tell you if you. have a choice between an Italian car and. a German car you get a [ __ ] German. car all day because Germans are very. very [ __ ] disciplined and they're. structured and they they they think. things out and and they engineer things. well and for whatever reason whether. it's because their hospital system is. better whether it's because it's a. genetic thing whether it's because more.
people over there uh have better health. care and they get treated quicker their. mortality rate is really low it's weird. have you read about Sweden did you find. the thing about Sweden yeah I about it. uh they have closed colleges and. universities they've limited restaurants. to like 50 people but they saying like. people can eat in them schools for kids. under 16 are closed but they haven't. it's like voluntary for everything else. like voluntary lock down expecting.
people to make the right decision that's. their that's their take on it what's. that little thing you got there fella uh. just charger Oh I thought that was maybe. one of them weird phones you know how. they have those little baby ones well. they have those foldables oh I want one. so bad do you though I do I want I want. the the the not the razor but the uh. Samsung one that that one looks well. they did they have two Samsungs one that. folds like a clam shellam that's the. move right yeah but you think you could. be okay with Android I think it would be.
good as a second phone the thing about. Android man is those iMessage group. chats. and uh FaceTime and airdrop air drop's. huge they're so wise like apple did such. a clever move and sucking us into their. net I like it man we can't get out like. this H where the spiders. web H cuz I have a a Samsung phone I. have a Galaxy Note 10 it's a great phone. I like to use that for uh looking at.
stuff like watching YouTube videos and. stuff like it's a huge screen it's got. no bezels basically yeah and one little. tiny hole punch in it you know it's. killer and the 5G is nice it's nice but. it's never I've never used it once it's. nice that it's there right but the thing. about it is it doesn't get air dropped. like if someone wants to send me a. picture they have to text it to me I. might not even get it the Samsung does. or I mean Android does have like their. version of airdrop but I can never get. it to work and you can't I don't think. you can do it to Apple and apple can't. you can't do it to them yeah it's [ __ ].
off no I like you know I I have no. problems with the iPhone but it's just. interesting that they figured out a way. to do that to rope us into their net. because if they didn't rope us into. their net then it's like you could get a. really good Android phone now you know. like right now they have that Samsung. Galaxy uh s20 ult ra have you seen that. yeah that looks great that thing is a. tablet you're carrying around an iPad. it's huge that camera dough oh my God.
what is it 108 megapixels something like. that that is so ridiculous and then it. has a 100x zoom if you go to digital. Zoom it's like 3x Optical and 100x. digital I don't even think it's 3x. Optical I think it's something like 30. or something like that yeah cuz it uses. a uh like a periscope not Periscope uh. telescoping lens yeah it's like a Mir. we're both morons listen to us you know. we both know each other yeah I know I. know what you're saying but it's so big. I don't like I switched to the little.
iPhone I went I went to the little now. that's something I think in the future. I'm going to start cuz I bought my. girlfriend the smaller version of the 11. Pro or. whatever it doesn't it doesn't like sit. weird in my pocket that was the other. thing like the big one in my front. pocket it was like first of all what. kind of radiation am I getting on my. dick yeah lots yeah making some weird. [ __ ] Doctor Strange kids but the. other thing is like this thing fits it's. big enough like if I'm looking at [ __ ]. it's [ __ ] big enough but it fits. perfectly in your hand you know it's not.
too heavy I've been wearing my watch a. lot lately and just leaving my phone at. home because I have you're a daredevil. because the number is connected so so if. somebody calls me or texts me I get it. on my watch except Android people you're. [ __ ] oh that's right they can't even. they probably can call you you have a. cell phone they can't they can text you. but they can't IM message you or does it. get SMS as well oh I guess it does work. on SMS yeah what am I thinking my sister. sends me these voice to texts uh checks.
and I guess she does it while she's. driving and I'm I'm like do you ever. read these like they're the worst. interpretation of what you said there's. no periods in any of it and I look. through it I'm like what are you saying. she just Rambles into the her phone and. then sends me this text message it's. hilarious yeah she's busy she doesn't. have time to read it I get it I'm not. mad at her but I'm like what why in the. hell and then I sent it to her I go did. you read this and she she laughs at me. but it's it's so bad you know like you. can't yet leave a whole conversation.
with somebody you can say a thing it's. pretty close pretty close you can leave. a note but when you want to make like a. long story first of all my sister's from. Boston right she's a Boston heavy Boston. accent you. know you should post I had it when no I. had it I had that acent when I was 19. till I heard myself on television when I. was 19 I I fought in the Bay State Games. and this local news station interviewed. me and I had this terrible accent I was.
like oh my god listen to me I'm a. [ __ ] do you have that on video that'd. be hilarious to I wish I did I don't. have it anymore there's a bunch of my. old taekwondo Day stuff that I used to. have that I just wanted to shed when I. was uh moving on with my life the only. reason it was a video of me fighting at. all even online even though I had videos. was cuz is uh this guy that I knew from. back in the day he was on another team. and we we knew each other back when we. were both young and competing sent me. this stuff M so this one the one video.
of me sending some guy flying through. the air that's he that's from him he. caught that in 19 I want to say 87 us. Cup in. Connecticut yeah so I don't I have the. medals I have a bunch of medals just. sitting around I look at them every now. and then and it seems like I'm lying. they didn't even look like they're mine. fake they seem fake like I think about. uh the Taekwondo days and I look at. those things and I'm like is that really. those mine is that really mine it's a. planted memory Joe that didn't happen I.
don't have real video of it other than. that one video the only time I know it's. real is that when I like kick the bag. like I'm like oh yeah I can do this like. it's some weird thing that I can still. do you know like like you ever seen. Chappelle do backflips Chappelle Lacy. not Dave Chappelle Chappelle Lacy Dave. Chappelle can do a back flip Chappelle. Lacy like three Dave Chappelle in the. same height if you like took Dave's Body. and and packed in through I mean he's a. [ __ ] Savage he's so jacked and uh.
he's got ridiculous athletic ability. because of years of being a cheerleader. he's a world champion cheerleader dude. he throws himself through the air and. you you cannot believe it cuz he's he's. a tank he's probably 230 somewhere. around in that range Solid Rock and. flips through the air throws himself. through the air does back flips in the. the backer look at this watch this this. is him replay oh okay it'll replay watch. this watch watch oh that's him go watch.
this watch this this is ridiculous. dude holy [ __ ] it doesn't seem possible. to do that but if you're tiny if you're. a 135lb person that's one thing he's I. mean a no [ __ ] a solid 235 240 built. like a brick [ __ ] house look at he. throws this girl up in the air and. catches her wow over his head look at. that that's. ridiculous dang it's. ridiculous he's a he's a cheerleader he. was a Prof well I mean was a not there's.
no real professional but he was a. competitive world champion cheerleader. what were we just talking about why did. I bring him up uh Chappelle God damn. this weed backflip back but before the. backflip Dave Chappelle no before that. God damn it we're talking about people B. State games no no past that we're. talking about people who can do crazy. things physically that's probably what. it is that you wouldn't expect like what. how do you do that but but it's the same.
thing with him like he started doing. that when he was really young so his. body developed throwing itself through. the air but a normal person his. size it's so hard to get air when you're. that heavy those guys who get air if you. see them at like a like a gymnastics. event they're like 160 170 watch this. that's crazy dude I mean he flies. through the air it's like you kicking a. bag like like you know it's kind of like. that in that he's doing this because he. developed his body while doing this and.
when he was real little by himself he. used to practice like doing back flips. and [ __ ] so by the time he got into. cheerleading he was already like. physically capable of doing that he he. grew up doing it and when your body. grows up doing something we used to say. that about Strikers some Strikers some. people learn how to strike they can. learn how to strike later in life they. still pick up pretty well just cuz. they're real fast and explosive but. there's a thing that like guys have when. they start out striking at a very early. age like Floyd Mayweather is a perfect.
example they the really Elite of the. elite seem to all start out when they're. young and sort of develop into fighting. as their body matures like Tyson like. sugaray Leonard like a lot of these guys. had extensive amateur backgrounds and. then you know developed into a male. professional with you know some of them. a 100 plus fights in the amateurs like. vasil lomachenko had hundreds and. hundreds of fights in the amateurs and. uh won I think two Olympic gold medals.
before he ever became professional and. those guys that they they they're just. head and shoulders above everybody else. because like. developing as your body's maturing and. you're being coached by world class. coaches like Floyd Mayweather was like. you just get this sense of the sport. that other people are never going to get. they're never going to get to your level. you're just on this crazy level the only. way they're going to beat you is if they. catch you with like a perfectly placed. punch with anybody can get hit with and. you get knocked out but other than that. if it's just like boxing for boxing.
Floyd Mayweather is like he's a zen. master he's got this sense of the sport. that most guys just will never have like. when you if you watch him fight a lot of. people like they hate on him because he. talks a lot of [ __ ] he's got a lot of. money and wants everybody to know it but. that's also how he sells pay-per-views. dummy right like he talks a lot of [ __ ]. you get mad you want to see him get beat. but nobody can beat him when he fought. Canelo Alvarez that was a real wakeup. call for people because Canelo is a. monster he's a terrifying boxer and Foy. Mayweather just pieced him up pieced him.
up just pieced him up just put on a show. put on a boxing clinic and you walk him. you're like wow that's uh he has a. special understanding of that sport that. I don't think you get if you start when. you're 30 I don't think you ever get. there I think you need to be already. Elite in your 20s if you want to get to. your Peak as a 30 32y Old athlete. somewhere in that. range at the top of the game at the Apex. you kind of need to learn as you're a. baby you know yeah it's a [ __ ] weird.
thing man when we get old we suck at. learning things you know it's Nature's. Way telling you [ __ ] pick a lane yep. pick something Tick Tock get out of here. like have you when was the last time you. tried to learn a new thing like a new. skill uh sh well or a language read. learning PC are you relearning PC to to. play games virtual reality and it's I. tell you it's frustrating as [ __ ] like. just I had to download a program the.
other day just to put a 3D model in just. so I could upload it into a game and. like it's like just the you know it's so. not like mac it's it's it's it's you. have to actually dig in and like do code. stuff and do you have to enter Doss you. go into dos I was cheing ter whatever. their teral yeah I think it is Dos yeah. you did that I did something like that. yeah the Comm in Unix or whatever it's. called Unix is uh that's what program. Apple's based on is it yeah Apple's. based on Unix right Mac osix is but.
windows isn't Unix right you're talking. about a different program download a. program just to put this 3D model in and. I think it's Unix so you can download a. Unix program on uh Windows yeah and Mac. I don't do [ __ ] with my Windows computer. other than WR right it's my writing. computer that's your writing computer. yes yes so it's to me it's you know it's. so. much sloppy there's so many windows. popping up still there's so many like. dumb things like why are you asking me.
this you know wants to update all the. time and when it updates it'll take like. 20 minutes I'm like you [ __ ] you. didn't tell me how long it was going to. take now I'm sitting here my dick in my. hand yeah trying to. write I've heard a lot of people. complain about the Apple update thing. too cuz most people don't hit the update. now and they it's like no tomorrow no. tomorrow no after you those people. stupid hey well it's a different animal. we're talking about morons yeah I always. keep but for writing man you cannot if. you want to just have a laptop you can't.
beat those thinkpads those Lenovo. thinkpads the keyboards are so much. better it makes such a big difference. it's the whole difference it's the whole. difference because if I looked at it in. terms of like the quality of the screen. and uh the the with the Mac ecosystem. once you're in that ecosystem like. everything's sort of connected to your. laptop top but the the keyboard on those. Lenovo is like telepathic like you know. where every key is your fingers fit in.
that little Groove and when you push. them down there's like this satisfying. amount of travel and you know where you. you know what you're doing I make so. fewer errors than I do even with the new. one I got that 16inch one the new it. still sucks yeah it still sucks it's. better for sure than the last keyboard. it's way better than the last way better. way better but it still sucks why. wouldn't you make the keyboard ever why. why would you make a keyboard that still. sucks when you know that those Lenovo. keyboards are out there you know they're. out there somebody must have told you. somebody must have told you that there's. a ThinkPad keyboard that's literally 500.
times better than your shitty keyboard. or just the one they had two years ago. like I can my exf yeah I gave my. girlfriend my old computer and and I was. playing on that keyboard I'm like this. was way better than the the 16inch like. why aren't they using key travel yeah. back then you had more key travel dude I. have that 17 in that that has ref F load. yes has a [ __ ] load of key travel I know. where every key is and I press them they. took the guts out and put a new gut in. oh that SSD drive yes but when you press.
those keys man there's a satisfying. amount of travel it lets you know you're. pressing it and that's more feedback for. your finger so you're more confident. when you're typing when everything's. flat the same surface like ew yeah ew. like how good do you P type on an iPad. when you have to open it up as a. keyboard and you do that ew e I hate it. get out of here that new iPad keyboard. have you seen that that's different that. looks sick that does look sick but then. what is that is that an iPad or a. [ __ ] computer right what is that well. it's faster than their their Mac uh airs.
or whatever yeah I guess I guess it's. faster I this is my my thought when. you're going to use a computer shouldn't. it be comfortable and shouldn't it be. most effective to use like aren't those. two you think about the amount of time. you spend entering things into a. keyboard shouldn't it be the most. comfortable keyboard you can get and the. keyboard that responds the best. shouldn't it be okay well how is that. not a giant priority for you you want.
everything to look pretty but you want. it to feel like [ __ ] and so even when. you know that More Travel is better for. people that type especially if you're. touch typists and and people who write a. lot and creative people you know that. why don't you do that well I think. that's kind of what the uh why people. like iPads cuz you could bring your own. keyboard and you could do that with a a. laptop too for sure but it's still why. not do it right like Lenovo does you. [ __ ] and by the way metal doesn't feel. good like why is it metal why am I. putting my hand on metal why is it cold.
metal digging into my wrists why is it. aluminum why you want to make it pretty. like why don't you make it out of like a. softer plastic with curved edges so it. doesn't suck yeah so it doesn't feel. weird on your skin curved edges for sure. every we want everything why you. laughing you're so deep down in like the. design discussion meeting I'm like. picturing of like what you do you want. you want it to be thinner want I want it. to be a think pad think pad X1 Carbon it. weighs nothing that one was curved your. your the old 17 in curved is when they.
made that unibody design that edge will. still cut you up that edge when you're. typing that edge of the bottom that cuts. you up it's stupid the first thing I. would cut if I was just like hey we need. to make a new design I would just shave. the keys in half because they're. probably taking up making the the double. you know when you close it I think. that's what they're trying to shrink. down right when you close it shave the. keys in half how would you do that what. do you mean like the piece of plastic. that they are that you're saying that. made them so much better when you're. shrinking the size of of a laptop's. profile well that's what happened cut.
that so you can close it that's all I'm. saying like they just probably did that. first and no one give a [ __ ] well they. came out with a patent that they haven't. implemented yet of a keyboard that has. uh keys that lower or raise and this was. like something that was being discussed. like they were thinking oh that would be. great if Apple had it like you can get. it up to 1.5 mm or down to like 6 mm. that or 6 mm if that's what you want but. it's still going to be not as good as. the Lenova one Lova one is curved the. Lenova one there's like they're little.
C- shapes so your fingers fit right into. them and you know where each one is it's. just better like why don't you know it's. better anyone who Types on it knows it's. better you know uh Lewis from uh unbo th. onbox therapy oh yeah dude as soon as he. started typing on one he's like what. have I been doing with my life you. should get one of those Lenovo laptops. and Hackintosh it oo um I don't use it. for enough it's like what do I need I. need Microsoft Word I need uh I used to.
use WR room a lot but now I find I can I. could do all the same [ __ ] with. word and uh then I upload you know when. I uh I I share it with myself so that I. have it on my other computer but that's. all I'm doing with it I'm writing you. know like it's okay and I know the the. operating system is more clunky it's. weird but I don't do anything with it. you know if I was running a bunch of. different programs and I'm just using it. as a word processor mostly it's just way. better it's way better to write on and.
it weighs. nothing these [ __ ] they they they keep. giving us the same thing here's your. choice aluminum or aluminum I think it's. going to get worse too I I think the. future is having no keyboard having it. like an iPad with the haptic feedback I. feel like that's probably going to be it. yeah well think people there's still a. group of people that like really want. those mechanical keyboards you know and. a lot of people hook up mechanical. keyboards to their main desktop computer. anyway you know they just feel better.
there's more travel you know where you. know what's going on once you get. accustomed to that God damn it you don't. make any errors you know where each key. is your fingers sort of fall into place. I mean if you're a way better typist. than me and many many many people are. maybe that keyboard's not as bad but for. me that keyboard sucks you know. especially the old one the new one's. better the new 16 is better than the old. 15 for sure no doubt about it but it. still sucks they had they have a lot of. questionable design like one of the. biggest design dumb things that Apple's.
ever done like I thought they would have. fixed it by now but their M their Mouse. uh how you have to charge it on the. bottom the plug to charge it is on the. bottom of it so say like you're out of. battery you can't just like plug it and. use it like a mouse while it's charging. yeah it could it pretty much uses it or. makes it you can't use it at all you. have so you can't use it while it's. charging no look right here yeah the the. plug well I guess this is an old one oh. it plugs under it so you have to open it. up and get in no no you have to plug it. right here so it's on the bottom so you.
can't even use it like if you just need. to hit enter or something or whatever. it's the dumbest design ever made they. still have it like that they still have. why don't they just have it at the end. so you could use it like a regular Mouse. when it's charging they want you to be. responsible and charge your mouse they. shouldn't ask you to be responsible for. that like what if something's important. you want to enter it right away you. can't do it yeah and why does iPad not. have multiple users like a computer so. if you want to give your wife your iPad. you could log let her log into her own. accounts so you don't have all your [ __ ]. open oh it doesn't no oh I didn't know.
that how how how are they not added. multiple laptops but they do it with. laptops well that's the difference. between Mac OS and iOS right iOS Ed. fixable yeah but they worried they're. about to be all the same thing soon I. don't know when but Jesus hope so be OS. do you think you would ever see the. thing about Apple though they're way. better with privacy way better with. privacy than Google phones oh yeah you. know like I was reading this thing about. Android phones where there's some apps.
that send information to other apps they. have an agreements where apps contact. other apps and let those apps know what. you're doing yeah that's how they got. all that data for that thing I showed. you it didn't come from nowhere well. that that yeah good point that new Zoom. software everyone's using like even if. you don't sign in using Facebook or say. anything about Facebook you're still. getting your [ __ ] sold to Facebook like. how crazy how is that possible it's. crazy well it's a commodity yeah you. know it's a commodity and there was a.
great guest on the Sam Harris podcast I. wish I could remember it but this guy. was talking about privacy and this very. thing he's like there became a commodity. that we didn't know was going to be a. commodity and we all sold our our rights. away to it we all signed the user. agreement yeah yeah yeah click agree. send it come on let me get going I just. want to use it I don't I don't want pay. attention to what that [ __ ] usual me. on seven eight pages of legal ease. you're like what am I agreeing to yeah. you know and those n user agreements man. those are one of the sneakiest things.
that people have ever perpetrated on. folks that's South Park episode by the. way don't you wish South Park was going. on right now I know if I was Trey I. would be like dude let's just do this. you know he's probably writing yeah he's. probably constantly writing anyway he'll. probably have like five episodes ready. to go by the time everything gets. running I hope so five Corona episodes I. wish going the most [ __ ] up oh my God. Comedy Central think they had a hard. time when they were drawn. Muhammad how what kind of a hard time. are they going to get from the Corona. virus.
yeah yeah and how bad is comedy going to. be for a couple months when people. Comics start getting back on stage. because you know out being no one's been. working out you know this it'll be fine. in a week yeah not even depending if you. listen to your recordings recordings. right yeah if you listen to your. recordings you could you could get. going I had a dream that I was in the. middle of a bit and I forgot how to do. it oh [ __ ]. yeah it was like a bit that I don't do. anymore so it's even weirder but it was.
in the middle of a bit I was like God. damn it how's this bit go I forgot but. if I was going to go up when this is all. down uh and we're back up and running. I'm going to do short spots at the store. and get the legs under you again every. you're down for a couple months yeah. stand does it all the time everyone. everyone's gonna have Corona uh jokes. though it's gonna be so gross it's GNA. be gross that's why South Park needs to. come out right now beat him to the. comedians are going to have the the hot.
take is going to be so similar like. what's the hot take going to be mhm it's. going to be hey don't eat a [ __ ] bat. there's going to be that one there's. going to be jokes about uh dois or. Modelo there's going to be jokes about. that those are the real obvious ones. yeah there's be going to be uh there's. going to be mean people. that that are going to make jokes about. headed to work [ __ ] granny toilet paper. like I need to you know I need to pay my. [ __ ] rent how about you stay home.
granny you know there's going to be. those people that have that take on it. it's going to be. fun it's going to be interesting to see. like if anybody has a perspective that. you didn't think a lot of comics are. hitting to like IG live right now and. it's it's God awful watching I cannot. stand it the weirdest thing Comics that. thought it was a good idea to do stand. up with no crowd in front of the Laugh. Factory oh do you see those yeah or. Flappers who's charging $5 a person to. go on their pay site or some yeah.
Flappers out of control as usual some. virtual Open Mic five bucks to get on. their virtual Open Mic yeah that they I. charge for screwing people digitally got. to do what you got to do in a way I say. hey they got to stay open you know. nobody is more willing to give you money. than some crazy open mic that wants to. be seen right. right especially some with a legit job. like most of them have a job and then. they do stand up on you know their spare. time they got a little disposable income.
probably because they're crazy and they. have no friends right so they're not. spending on anything other than. medication and next thing you know boom. five bucks for Flappers and they hit. what if it was like one dude who bought. the whole block oh that's hilarious yeah. one open micer who bought the whole day. we could just Al go on YouTube and do it. all day probably get more no no he wants. the prestigious Flappers brand behind. him and so he does it he just dominates. Flappers website all day there was a a a. standup video game a few months ago it I.
don't know what happened do you remember. comedy night or something like you can. go into a place and like take take it. your turn doing I think maybe if you got. boot off like uh the Apollo you're done. and next person goes up well I think. Grand Theft Auto was supposed to. originally have that be The Comedy Store. be a comedy club that you can go into. that would be cool I wish you would do. that hey did you see those uh people uh. singing along to Biggie in Brooklyn that. was not real it wasn't real no yeah. thought so my wife is the first person.
to noce nobody's leaning out the windows. no this is a crowd voice you could hear. it's like from an arena God damn it tell. it right away what was sons of [ __ ]. they pretend Dana White they got. him jie fo every yeah I was like that's. pretty cool if they did do it if someone. was blasting Biggie and everybody starts. singing along oh but nope that's. hilarious POS these [ __ ] well it's. because the Italians actually did do it. you know in that apartment complex they. all singing into the did they well they. you could see them singing though but.
this one lady came outside she was. playing the recorder and her husband. [ __ ] smacked it out of her hand they. did a con shut the [ __ ] up with is a. thing on Fox Fox News something it was. like being broadcast live but almost all. of those videos are being lips synced. and whatnot some of it was real but like. I was watching you could see it was fake. I'll Never Smoke Weed With Willie Again. [Laughter]. yeah that's what that's got to be a. bummer man imagine if you went on stage. to you stand up and they wanted you to. lip sync your old.
[ __ ] imagine if they had like a an album. that you did and you had a lip sync to. the album including the ad libs you has. anybody ever tried maybe because they. lost their voice or something and got. you know like the way Ashley Simpson did. it on SNL and got busted I never heard. of it can you imagine Comics doing that. that's so. happen that's what he's that's crazy. yeah I could imagine some crazy people. doing it like some people that are. really off people do some dumb [ __ ] I.
can imagine you know. what we have this random thing I forg I. don't know if I ever told is on kill. Tony where we'll have Joe Rogan calling. in and uh and it's just me on Spotify. going all right uh what are we talking. about gays all right click on Gaye and. just go let's go 10 minutes 10 seconds. into the and just press play like Joe. what's going we just r L hit you saying. things and when it works It's the. funniest [ __ ] ever oh that's hilarious. that's I'm a soundboard no random.
sometimes it doesn't work so you guys. are still do you're still doing kill. Tony yeah we're doing it tonight uh. we're doing it a lot of phone inss and. Callins you know it's mostly just me. Tony and Jeremiah it's a good move to. keep doing it man because these are. going to be first of all when people. look back they're going to look back at. these shows where you guys were on you. know down time when you're like for. these [ __ ] are committed to. this show that even though they're. completely quarantined you can't do any. live shows they did all their shows by. themselves with no live show and you'll. keep all your audience yeah yeah it's.
very cool too that when they made this. stay-at-home order they included. podcasts as being essential so which was. very cool we're media media we're very. important yeah and you know yeah we're. all safe we're we're not high fiving and. kissing each other like we normally do. but uh and it it does feel good to do. like me and Holzman are doing uh the. podcast and it's people like it cuz you. know they're so depressed at home and. you know seeing us not freaking out and. just having a talk conversation like.
we're doing right now it's like oh maybe. I need to chill out a little bit you. know chill out they do but also some. [ __ ] needs to change yeah I don't know. what can change though man I mean what. can you watch that video of those. [ __ ] cell phones spreading across and. think about the virus is spreading. across like how can you lighten things. up and still keep people from getting. infected that's the great question and. why do some people have almost no. reaction to it why are some people. asymptomatic that's the scary thing. about new diseases man you know when. something new comes along they're all.
they're all like what is this it's one. thing I like about. this I don't have to give anybody my. joint just hold on to these I think. that's the future or glass tips get your. own [ __ ] even glass tips who knows what. kind of spittles inside that [ __ ]. disgusting thing blue light sucking in. through the new glass tip. [ __ ] out of here yeah the [ __ ] out of. here bong hits e how about the [ __ ]. remember that vaporizer bag we used to. have the volcano volcano oh my God will.
we get obliterated with that thing that. was funny you still have that yes kept. it storage did you see have that bong. that was like 10 feet tall that was yeah. I gave that to somebody [ __ ] did I give. that to I don't know I I gave it to. somebody maybe Tony's got it or someone. I get a I had too many bongs and I never. used any of them I think it was. beautiful though oh that crazy sculpture. one I I used that one cuz it was so. beautiful so ridiculous was like a piece. of art yeah but they just happened to.
get you. high that was nice Eddie and I that was. like the early days of my pot smoking. too and I thought it was a good idea to. have some. ridiculous sculpture some ODed to weed. in my living room yeah he had that cool. media. room with the gold Buddha. such a weird time right now that I I. keep. thinking of what what it's going to be. like on the other end you know instead. of just just living which I never really.
do I never really think what's it going. to be like on the other end I always. just do stuff you know like whether I'm. doing a Netflix special or whether I'm. doing podcast or doing stand up I just. do stuff I don't think like oh I do it. like this one day it'll be that that and. then maybe people will like this and. maybe they I just keep doing it but now. I'm like what is going to be here like. what what is society going to be like. with no restaurants what is society.
going to be like with 50% unemployment. what is society going to be like if that. disease kicks in. again and what's going to survive so I'm. wondering about the future now I never. wonder about the future I always just. kind of do I'm I'm so lucky now I. realized so so lucky that I can do that. that I could just concentrate on the. [ __ ] I enjoy doing and that the big. advantage of that too is it helps you be. good at that thing because you have less. stress you have less things you're. thinking.
about more sleep for everybody but now. everybody's got to be a prepper. everybody's got to be a little paranoid. everybody's got to be a little a little. whacked out by this everybody does even. people like you and I that would want to. just blow it off and they live in the. moment now you can't now you have. especially if you have people you love. that are relying on you like have to. have food now you have to keep food at. your [ __ ] house fine toilet. paper that was a weird one it is weird. I'm glad to have a a day why didn't. everybody go crazy for food why. everybody worry about wiping their ass.
why is that the the number one thing. that seemed to be the issue more than. water like yeah water makes more sense. in toilet paper water makes a ton of. sense and so does food like dry food. bring get oats right get oatmeal [ __ ]. like that Rice stuff that lasts a long. ass time you need pasta you need stuff. that you could just make with a fire and. a pan and some water you need to be able. to just have stuff that'll keep you. alive for x amount of days that's what. you need you don't need toilet paper you. need a rag and a sink and there you go.
you got a clean [ __ ] Tada you know or. get one of them ones that we got in here. squirty up the booty hoses thing love. woo they have a new one that was a. sponsor that you can uh attach to the. back of a toilet it's like it's not. expensive either oh yeah yeah what that. called you called it tushy tushy right. yeah how much does that cost it's very. Reon start off at. $79 yeah so for 80 bucks you get a clean. [ __ ] and you save a million dollars. on toilet paper and it takes it takes. like 3 minutes to install and it's the.
same water that you brush your teeth. perfect goes right into the sink after. you clean your [ __ ] no no it's not. that water no no no I mean it's the same. water I know it's real water it's not. that was on the re and that was my. favorite thing to say it's the same. thing that you it's cleaning your. butthole the warm water one is only $30. more oh Splurge folks unless you're a. hard ass unless you're one of them Navy. SEAL type dudes likes to suffer yeah. yeah you could and if you decide to get. a more expensive one you can skip the.
the air drying one because it just makes. the whole plate smell like your [ __ ]. it's disgusting I don't like that air. dryer I went over this person's house. once and they had a bedet and inside. their bedet was a a bar I was going to. take a leak there's a bar of soap and a. wet rag and I was like ew what ew gross. ew because that's how you use it you get. in there with that soap you wash the old. poop shoot and that water shoots up the. bedet is like the most unergonomic. friendly thing that's ever been designed. ever it's basically if you fall and slip.
if something happens and you got like. slippery socks on or shoes you you fall. that pipe is going right up your [ __ ]. that stupid pipe it's in the mid how do. you fall people fall all the time. Jamie people die trying to climb fences. you know that those spikes on fences. kill people every year coconut there you. slip you slip on fall and fall in the. Beday and it punctures your [ __ ] like. a robot dick think about what that thing.
looks like that that that it looks like. like the top of a hammer the one we got. it doesn't come out until you hit the. button it's like a little robot arm so. it's all that's different but it's not a. bedet I'm talking about a bay like a no. no no no that's a bedet seat a real bed. you don't have you're like what what you. that's why it didn't make sense to. you go like you're talking like the. real you're imagining Joe like don't go.
my ass these folks it was a French it. was a French doctor and his wife we were. over their house they were French and uh. they had this. bedet and it's uh looks like you know. like if you slip like you're you're. getting your butthole cleaned by this. little little [ __ ] pipe that's. sticking straight up with little it. sprays water and you're supposed to get. up in there with soap wash it down nope. that's the way to do it though better. than the way we do it I'll smear in. everything there it is so that one's a. that's a safe one some of them some of.
them have a protuberance used to have. one like that right yeah some of them. yeah no no J what is that that's a. broken toilet that is not a bedet Jesus. Christ. son I'm trying to find one yeah I'm. trying to find one sticks out more all. right I'm going to give up here what at. that Circle look at that that the. drawing to the left with the red circle. click on that oh wait you talking these.
look small that they're a little maybe. someone's a cruel person that had uh the. house that I was yeah maybe it was one. of those douche sticks I know when I. used to date that porn star she used to. have the anal douche uh pole maybe it. was that's a lot of work right here. Jesus that's a hose look at this one wow. I was in New York once and I posted on. Instagram the [ __ ] had not one but. two hoses had a hose on either side I. didn't get it I didn't get it either so. someone explained to me that some. because it was a very fancy hotel and uh.
some people from other lands prefer to. wash their hand um wash their ass rather. with their left hand so they Lefty style. so for you to ask them to grab a hose on. the right hand side and hose down their. [ __ ] they'd be offended you're not. supposed to do that with your right hand. you're supposed to do with your left. hand. H had like that right like it had like a. hose off of it yeah two and one on each. side like a industrial strength oh I see. I think I made a YouTube video or uh.
Instagram. video. huh yeah it's um it's a better way to. clean your ass that's for sure like the. way we do it with toilet paper is really. disgusto it's [ __ ] gross you're just. smushing it around like if you had that. [ __ ] on your eyebrow not your taint. hairs but your eyebrow hairs how how. much rubbing there it is one on the left. one on the right what the [ __ ] dude look. at that I like that did you try it out. yes with much shame there poop juice. every that one man that one's that one's.
for a big [ __ ] H what maybe once for. a [ __ ] and one's for an [ __ ] maybe. you double Jam I thought it was toilet. right hammers the [ __ ] cuz my pet has a. [ __ ] mode the butt in an ass mode yes. girls probably use that thing feels good. on your butt oh yeah I'm not a shamed to. admit it that warm water squirts up on. your butt I guess it's a smaller little. thing than I remembered so I don't think. you have to worry no the bedet there's a. bedet on the other side of the room too. look much if you see there over there.
there's a bedet so there was a bedet see. that's what I'm talking about see that. little robot dick that's sticking up did. you see it in the. Beday watch see watch when they turn it. around or when I turn it around whether. after I grab a hold of these two things. I was super. confused the other side has a thing that. pokes out in the middle and that's kind. of what I was talking about and some of. them are a little higher than others but. they're these weird. little there it is I just I don't what.
kind of shits are these people take this. this is not a shower this is a regular. toilet and then a bedet there that there. it is that little robot dick not that. part the other one the one earlier see. it doesn't. matter it really doesn't you don't have. a touch bar on that laptop do you no. touch bar is the [ __ ] cuz even in an. Instagram video you can back it up and. Rewind it just going to say they need to. add a [ __ ] play bar dude touch bar. yes you can I turned all that [ __ ] off.
oh no no no it's great that's the only. good thing about the uh 16inch U MacBook. that I appreciate is that touch bar with. for YouTube videos you scroll back and. forth it's so much better than having to. keep your finger on this one area on the. trackpad and hold on to the thing move. it left and right or click on this click. that it's so seamless like you know. exactly where your finger is it's a more. effective way of navigating like YouTube. videos cuz you your your track of. landscape that you're navigating in is.
very defined right so you just get your. finger on it you just move it back and. forth It's the [ __ ] nobody ever uses. them there's a bunch of keyboard. shortcuts on YouTube to use which are. great and helpful but like I couldn't. tell you what more than two of them are. like I can skip frames you can skip 5. Seconds yeah they're listed a bunch of. places but you can jump to all sorts of. parts in the video just by hit certain. keys I didn't know that yeah save a. bunch of time but no one's going to ever. remember them or use them. right they should open up. gyms when do you think they should do.
that let people work out with social. distancing and proper cleaning it seems. like they should be able to do that they. should only open up gyms for people who. never contact anyone who contacts old. people to sign a contract cleans after. thems at the gym no one seems like. that's the dirtiest. people spitting on the floor they want. to go back yeah sweat I mean what what. kind of a disgusting virus carrying. solution is sweat from some dude who.
didn't shower today went straight to. Golds [ __ ] popped up ready to get my. PR in or PB personal best personal. record PR personal record right yeah you. got to know those terms bro have you. thought about uh doing anything special. it's like now you know you have to be. locked down like it's a good time to. work on something well I've been really. getting into broadcasting VR I I'm I'm. learning how to do it the best way and.
and I'm into VR man I think that's the. future and and these new games coming. out and just let me ask you this can you. broadcast you playing halflife yeah I do. it i' I've done five broadcasts on my. YouTube page uh and I'm trying to get it. so I could have my whole body in there. maybe in the future but that takes a lot. work dude. broadcasting. HD VR in halflife in a game like that. would be [ __ ] amazing you think about.
how many people play games if they could. figure out a way you know you watch. someone play and it's real similar like. if you you remember back in the Quake. days we'd watch. demos like if a really good player was. playing oh I'd watch like there's this. dude named thresh I've talked about him. on the podcast before I watch all his. demos cuz he was just such around he's. around yeah. he he he and I exchanged. messages um way back in the dip but it. was obviously before this Corona step. one of what you're saying yeah this is.
like step one but you could see her butt. and in real life you would be her yeah. this is what I'm trying to do at my. house right now and it's hard to do. because you have to have a lot of green. screen crap that's cool this is cool. like that is it would be interesting to. see someone walk through in third person. but what I'm talking about is first. person I know I know dude that would be. the [ __ ] this like this is this game. allows you to place a virtual camera for. the purpose of doing this in there so. like without doing that you can have the. headset V vision of it oh you can yeah I. did the headset V version yeah that's.
the what I'm saying is like when when. people watch you play a game they're. going to want to watch you survive some. crazy VR like Fantasy game like halflife. yeah like that would be really. captivating because it's one thing to. watch a guy play a game but if you could. put the VR goggles on and watch with him. and you're looking around round and I'm. seeing what you're seeing holy [ __ ] dude. this guy's on started commercial sorry. oh Jesus scared me I'm like that's. really really realistic super. realistic there people doing that though.
I think what are the good what are those. other good uh other good series that are. out I know Amazon has some good series. now people were saying yeah uh well I've. you know that tiger thing I highly. recommend but yeah I'm definitely going. to see that but I want to see something. that's fake devs devs oh that's right is. that Amazon that's Amazon right no. that's hululu Hulu really good that one. actor the guy from Parks and wck what's. his name uh that comedian guy he is. great man he's Dev yeah he's one of the. main guys like he's the Steve Jobs guy.
and uh that's really and West world's. back I don't know if you ever gotten. dude I I liked westw world but uh the. wife got a little grossed out and. started pulling people's heads up I know. don't stay away from the spoilers. they're everywhere well yeah Westworld. not in the west anymore though no no not. Westworld I mean Ozark Ozark spoiler I. haven't Oar people are binge watching. like instantly people are so greedy they. use up all the toilet paper and they sit. there watching. Ozark but um oh the other one is the.
expanse I heard the expanse is really. good have you ever seen. that a bunch of people that I respect. that like sci-fi told me that the. expanse which is a I think that's an. Amazon. show you see that yeah it's uh Four. Seasons in the season coming soon. Amazon know about it no I haven't seen. it at. all Brian no I've never even heard of it. what I heard it's really good there's. too too many shows oh there definitely. is and they never stop yeah they never. stop they never go we we're just going.
to keep the shows we have and make them. better NOP I really watched that tiger. show too because I was so annoyed if. people ask me if I watch it I'm like I. got to just watch it so I could say yes. and know what people are talking about. I'm tired of hearing about it yeah dude. I was watching regular TV and uh it was. uh you couldn't for some reason fast. forward through the commercials what. yeah there was something going on where. you couldn't fast forward through. commercials I was going in and out of uh. this room with the TV and I couldn't. figure it out but while I was watch I. just stopped and paused watching these. commercials on regular TV for these.
upcoming shows that they have and it's. like it's almost like they're trying to. put you into a coma like they're trying. to put you into a state of mind like. like some fake ass Norman Rockwell. painting of America some weird like. they're trying it's a it's a calm down. easy to predict version of a drama you. know we're all in this together and this. per perfect music and we're all about. God and family and and they're all. hugging and smiling and like what are. you doing to me here it's doesn't work.
on me anymore I can't watch that [ __ ]. anymore no you can't watch it it's it's. but that's what I'm saying it's so. strange when you compare that to some of. the [ __ ] that we watch now like if you. watch Game of Thrones or if you watch. Ozark or if you watch you know the. outsider all these crazy [ __ ] shows. you watch a show that's made like a 1980. CVS drama and you're like what is this. and then you realize oh my God they. still make them they still make them. they make them just like that gry's.
Anatomy has been on TV for 15 plus 20. years I don't know how long is that. still on it's still on yeah is uh Dr. dreamy still on that main girl still on. it I don't know who else is still on. that show is he on it he might be he. talking about uh Dr dreamie Patrick uh. yeah I met him once store he was a very. nice guy. yeah I like what sports is doing now. because there's no Sports so they've. been doing NASCAR like video games and. it looks so real like a real NASCAR race. and I guess Madden in like next week is. going to have a football game but it's.
going to be a video game Madden football. game so that might be the future of. sports he's not on anymore but they are. talking about doing uh like the NBA. might do a whole their whole tournament. in the uh Vegas this summer because just. like they do NBA Summer League they. can't play any they all they're [ __ ]. they're [ __ ] right now they've now. taken two weeks off wow I saw LeBron. said they might have to he might need. like 10 games to get warmed back up to. even start going they have no preseason. again all these guy there's a China. League that's starting up soon all. there's players from America that are.
going to go over there they have to just. work out on their own just like some UFC. fighters who can't fight right now. they're gonna go and play in China yeah. son nah n get paid a lot Stefon Marberry. is a big star there and he's trying to. get some ass sent back to Brooklyn where. he's from but he's a huge star in China. now damn yeah interesting things. happening the whole Premier Soccer. League team all in Europe they're going. to like have like a World Cup event type. thing a huge TV event they're getting TV. Partners in place they're going to have. like quarantine everyone put them in. little camps all the team like I don't.
know 30 teams maybe 25 teams who's. buying up all the stock now that the. Market's crashed because you know that. shit's going on a lot of people people. that barst Sports guy well I mean all. sorts of people right. M that some people say that's a good. thing to do I don't know if it's still. crashing so I don't know well you got to. wonder because the people that can buy. the stock are the people that have the. most money already M grocery stores this. could be a giant change and like who. owns what yeah somebody could buy they.
speculated that like uh what company I. think Apple could just buy Netflix or. something crazy like that or Disney it. was Disney I think they said it was. Disney Disney could buy Netflix no apple. could just buy Disney oh yeah they. definitely could they definitely. could they have so much money they're so. weird like the amount of money they have. is weird you know like what a amazing. move like what company has that kind of. cash no one Amazon's close and they're. going to maybe be the first two trillion.
dollar company but it's a very different. thing they sell everything right they. sell toothpaste and [ __ ] bubble gum. and Nails you know they they'll they'll. sell you everything but Apple just sells. you computers phones watches SI [ __ ]. mhm that's. it it's amazing right now it's amazing. but no no one has loyalty to like Tech. products way people have with apple they. didn't even have a store 10 years ago is. it 10 years I don't know but it's not. been that long there's no Apple Stores.
you couldn't you had to go to like a. Micro Center or think it's more than 10. years but you're right but dude that. [ __ ] Genius Bar that was the ultimate. like calling it a Genius Bar like really. they're not come on man I need these are. just people that work here why you. saying Geniuses these aren't Geniuses I. want to be you you're you're making. these people operate at such a. exaggerated standard right like they. have to be Geniuses right can't just be. a guy who uh understands batteries oh.
yeah man we'll run a test here no it has. to be a genius excuse me Sirah what's. your IQ yeah Gateway we just call him. tech tech support wasn't it The Geek. Squad no that's or Best Buy Best Buy. that's right yeah that's hilarious Geek. Squad geek somehow or another is more. offensive than dork to me oh yeah nerd. is the top of the food chain nerd is. like you could say it proud but geek is. like you're a little [ __ ] up right and.
dork it's not so bad it's endearing kind. of D DK's cute DK's cute yeah geek isn't. cute geek is like you're [ __ ]. freaking out keep it together [ __ ] yeah. yeah dork is like you [ __ ]. dork yeah. geek is like a more you can geek out and. that's geek out that's a good point you. can geek out in a good way yeah that's a. good. point yeah no one's complaining about. language right now notice that yeah all.
that [ __ ] went away but it's so much. Corona it's just tiring watching exha. yeah well that's the other thing that's. going on with people is the fear man. when you you have a hard time dealing. you you have anxiety you have. apprehension you're just fearful of the. future and fearful of the disease some. people had anxiety before this this. going to accelerate everything that's. going to be real hard for just for. mental health of people going to be. people that are going to have a really.
hard time um also accepting that this is. just something that. happened to them this is not something. that they did wrong you know when. something goes bad and you did something. wrong it kind of like ah I made a bad. decision I should have done it that way. I [ __ ] up and we should have had that. meeting and then you know you might know. why your business fell apart but if it. falls apart now it's like you didn't. even do anything wrong yeah and the. government gets to tell you they have to. sit back now if you were a conspiracy.
theorist and so many of them are you. would think what would be the best way. to gain more control of the people the. best way first of all to accelerate. Despair and accelerate uh unemployment. you would do all the things that are. just going to happen from the what. naturally happens in a disease people. are willing to give up certain civil. liberties if they if they think they can. get more safety and it's true we should. stay home it's true it will be better.
for everybody it's true that we need to. take precautions it's true that we need. to self-isolate all those things are. true but it's also true that you're. giving a certain amount of power to the. government to lock things down and. control you they're giving people. tickets in New York if they catch them. walking around they give him $500. tickets and they're doing it in other. places too I'm sure and that's where it. gets weird man because who are these. people these people that are telling you. you can't go anywhere they're just the.
government they're just people they're. people telling. people that they can't go somewhere. which is fine if we need to do that like. right now but what if it just sort of. stays that way what if it stays that way. to a lesser extent what if they side you. know how we're going to stop Corona. virus from really taking place I want to. know where you going I want to know. where you're going I want to know I want. when you go through each state we're. going to have checkpoints we're going to. pull you over it's going to be a. heightened police date sir have you been. tested for the Corona virus and you put.
a [ __ ] thing on your forehead what if. what if this thing really does start. coming back the way it has in Wuhan. where people tested negative and then. they later tested positive if that. happens here are we going to keep this. lockdown thing going on what if it's. something that we all have and it comes. back like like when Jon Jones had those. steroids in his system and the peagrams. and it just kept flashing back what if. that's with this stuff what if we test. positive for Corona virus every couple. years what if it's like herpes what if. you keep it for life what if we're.
assuming we got rid of it we're going to. just accept martial law we just going to. accept tanks in the streets what are we. going to accept it's a real good. question so if you were a nut right now. you would be [ __ ] going crazy because. you'd be saying all the pieces are in. place for like a hostile take over and. they're in place because they really. truly are the best ways to save people's. lives like it's all it's all smart thing. to do but if you were a conspiracy. theorist you'd say this is exactly what.
I would do if I wanted to take over and. that's what we have to be really careful. of we got to be careful of somehow or. another walking that very fine balance. of protecting people from a a disease. this Invisible Killer and preserving our. freedom and preserving rights all those. things are very important that we don't. just give that. up because it's it's not the way to go. it's just not we have to figure out our. way through this disease and then we. have to figure out some way to return to.
normaly and that's got to happen we. can't just stay like this where no one. works anymore we can't just not ever. take risks we can't just not go out so. once this does get rolling again it's. going to be real interesting to see how. much if any control the government. retain contains how much if if any. restrictions get get imposed how much of. these restrictions we just absorb and. they become newer uh new things like a. normal thing rather where you just go to. the airport you have to take a. temperature test you go to the airport.
and they want to test you or we're going. to have to start wearing suits like kind. of like Star Wars like these kind of. suits with helmets and breathing. apparatus and everyone that works at the. grocery store is going to be robots you. know and imagine that you get to the. hotel and. you you decompress and unzip and you can. enjoy new City from your balcony look so. pretty out there with all the murderous. viruses swarming around killing people. what if the viruses got together made. virus tornadoes and started just. throwing people against walls or virus.
babies if you born listen man if a. [ __ ] if a wind can pick up a semi and. make it fly through the air like we've. seen why can't a virus tornado just slam. you into a wall imagine if like viruses. accelerate billions of times and they. they form colon. and they become intelligent and they. realize if they move quick enough they. can actually like they can knock you off. your feet and they go down your throat. like a. demon I know that's not happening.
already it's crazy for sure but so was a. regular virus so it was a regular virus. I mean just what we were reading about. the H1N1 and all these other flu that. kill so many countless thousands of. people not countless they counted them. they're actually pretty accurate right. we had a double check I mean just think. about the the sheer numbers of people. that have died from those things if. those were demons instead of diseases. how freaky would that be if we be like. look we're going to lose a certain. amount of people every year to Demons no.
matter what we do why is it better to. lose to a virus than a. demon little. [Laughter]. Godzillas di from a little Godzilla. little Godzilla's just running up into. your window and killing your grandma. baby God [ __ ] God damn it you go in. there and she's just bones just White. Bones sticking up there's a horde of. little Godzillas just chewing through. her.
meat why would that be more. horrific than a. virus the silent thing that chokes you. to death I need to know I've been. thinking that like hilarious there's. been that talk when we've talked about. UFOs that all all the world needs to get. to come together is like that alien. invasion this is not too different than. what that would be it is an alien. technically it's not it is it's foreign. to us Action Bronson had it right the. whole time just get high and watch.
Ancient Aliens try to get so high you. just try to sort through what they're. saying he figured it. out it's interesting to think what if. this did come from you know space like. this whole they're sick of us yeah. imagine yeah this try to some something. to the the real fear is that they're. eventually going to have something that. you can't fix you know I had this guy. on uh that was talking about with my. friend do you do you remember that guy's.
name with Doug Doug Duran the uh the. scientist. Brian his uh scientist friend who came. in with uh my friend Doug Duran from. Wisconsin to talk about chronic wasting. disease Brian Richards Brian Richards. thank you and uh he explained how this. is not made to jump to people but if it. does it's going to be horrific and it's. like it's in Deer and it's made to jump. to mice and it's spreading through the. Midwest and like this is something you. got to keep an eye on like this is not a.
this is not a a safe thing like if this. does make the jump to people and people. get hit with this preon disease that's. called chronic wasting disease in Deer. if that spreads to people we're [ __ ]. we're [ __ ] it's going to be like a. zombie apocalypse if that gets into. people it's like they 100% of them die. deer they 100% die they don't live for. very long either and it's a horrific. death their body shrivels that's why. they call it chronic wasting disease. they waste away and they're like.
vomiting everywhere all this like stuff. is coming out of their mouth and their. nose and this stuff that's coming out of. their mouth and nose is highly. contagious and then other deer come. along and eat the grass that they spit. out this fleem or this body fluid. whatever the [ __ ] it is and they get it. from that and they get it from sharing. food sources and they leave it. everywhere too when the deer are dying. they this this stuff comes out of them. and they leave it everywhere it's like. the virus knowing it's losing its host. and it decides to just land on Plants.
bro it's scary as [ __ ] because it's like. mad cow disease they just reported uh. the other day I read something in China. where they found a guy on a bus that guy. like a version of I don't know if it was. Corona that usually has never traveled. from um or Mouse to human it was the. first time ever like so there might be. already another Corona that when did you. hear about this this was like two days. ago oh no I found a guy in the bus and. they said don't worry this has never. happened before these patient zeros are.
really pissing me off yeah. uh what the [ __ ] Jamie is one- handing. it let's see who gets. it antivirus antivirus damn Jamie won. six days ago yeah you can't [ __ ] with. him man who died on bus in China test. positive for Hana virus. [ __ ] this is how many days ago. six oh make this a little larger so I. could read it with my shitty eyes a. passenger who died on a bus in China is.
tested positive for a completely. different virus than covid-19 one more. fatal that often produces very similar. symptoms according to state-run Media. the unidentified woman from uan yunan. Province died while on a chartered bus. heading to his workplace. place in Shandong Province the state run. Global times announced in a tweet on. Monday he tested positive for #h. antivirus other 32 people in the bus. were tested the outlet stated offering.
no further details oh [ __ ] the new virus. starting just as China starts lifting. its strict quarantines from. covid-19 Jesus. Christ it's been around for a while okay. however experts were quickly to point. out that it's not a new virus. and is only rarely thought to have been. passed between humans oh that doesn't. make me feel good yeah it's only recent. that this is starting to happen yeah. this is not good listen to this the Hana. virus first emerged in the 1950s in. American Korean war in Korea hon River.
it spreads from rat mice if humans. ingest their body fluids human human. transmission is rare rare is not a word. I like when it comes to a disease that. kills the [ __ ] out of you please don't. do do not panic unless you plan to eat. rats and a a billion Chinese people just. went [ __ ] yeah well at least dogs are. okay well how many of them eat rats they. they eat they eat what they can eat. right those wet markets are just that.
whoa after exposure to Fresh urine. droppings or saliva of infected rodents. hey symptoms may occur up to eight weeks. after exposed after exposure to Fresh. urine droppings or saliva infected. rodents okay well that that that can get. a rat to a person so it can't get person. to person yet but what if that thing. morphs they're pretending like things. don't morph you know like [ __ ] they got. to a person in the first place because.
they made a jump all these things right. Aven flu swine flu all these flu they. they jump from an animal to a human God. if imagine if this starts going out God. damn it well this is what I'm saying now. what if it does and then they keep this. level of of security and this level of. restriction and it restricts your. freedom man it makes you really realize. how well we had it before this we just. do whatever you wanted you just right. now you could just drive to Vegas let's.
go to Vegas let's go see Britney Spears. yay you go down there have a nice dinner. that's what we do go see. Britney Britney [ __ ] you know not. anymore [ __ ] now no one's going on. anymore if you wanted to take over the. world isn't that the way do. it I'm not saying that that's what's. happening but I'm saying if you were. writing a book on a takeover of the. World by another Nation what better way. to do it than that what if North Korea. was behind all this well I don't think.
they have the resources China since it's. in China it's much more likely look it. started from China whether it was. intentional or unintentional that's not. beside the point I don't think it was in. intentional but I think that when things. like this happen people do take. advantage of opportunity and you got to. be real careful who gets the better hand. when they're taking advantage of. opportunity it's just it's an a it's new. ground it's weird for people they know.
where it came from they they they have. isolated that this thing did come from. this Market in. Wuhan they. know it's. just it's the way things like this can. play out if there's a bunch of these is. almost just like someone starting a. conspiracy it's not it doesn't have to. be done like it just actually naturally. exists and the same people that would. benefit from a conspiracy or who would. engage in a conspiracy to defraud people.
or [ __ ] people over in the first place. they're the ones who are going to jump. in and take advantage of it the quickest. That's What's So Scary About It. totalitarian ideas Thrive when people. are scared they want someone to take. over the Reigns they want someone to. take over we're going to block the. streets No More Travel we're going to. block this you can't go to work can. block then you're going to be poor and. broke and scared I'm not saying that. that's what they're doing what I am. saying is if you wanted to do something. to really take over a. civilization it would be this way that's.
how you would do it you would do a. diseases I'm not saying they're doing. that I don't think they are I think this. is just a a horrible natural disaster I. want to be really clear on that but we. might come out of this different than we. went in that's real. there's tanks driving down the road in. California tanks and they're like oh. they're just getting supplies or. something like what are you there's. tanks rolling through New York City my. friend John Joseph wow he sent me a.
video from his phone of Tanks rolling. down New York City like armed Humvees. and tanks it's ridiculous yeah freaky. like military vehicles in camo like. where you hiding you're in New York City. what are you hiding from what kind of. camo is that is it weird that they even. when they use him in cities they camo. them up yeah seems so rude it is it's. like to let you know they might hide in. the bushes too [ __ ] but they drive. through the cities to lock everybody.
down they had those murdered out Matt. black paint jobs instead it would be a. little bit more intimidating maybe I. don't know pieces of pizza slices and. stuff well it's at least with camo if. you have your car is all camoed up and. you're not in the military you know. they're going to have an eye on you. anyway like what are you doing. right unless you're in like West. Virginia dudes who have like camoed up. H1s Hummers and they're driving those. real military style Hummer around like. please check that guy's house you know. please please read his Facebook please.
he's driving around with an armored. vehicle all camoed. out you don't do you really need an H1. Hummer in in La they're so wide do they. still they don't still make those they. don't still make them but people still. have them yeah not only do people people. have them but people um they do these. mods on them cuz they're really slow. like a Hummer is really slow and I'm. pretty sure they're a diesel engine it's. like a slow shitty stinky engine it's. not it's not good it's not optimal so.
they take the engine out of those [ __ ]. boxes and put like giant American. engines in there and turn them into it's. a company in Florida I forget what the. the company is but they make custom. Humvees like the real military Humvees. but they deck them out inside with dope. andar and they put ridiculous like. thousand horsepower turbocharge engines. in them and [ __ ] look if if there is. even like if you have even one wacky. idea in your head like maybe maybe.
someone could do they already did it wow. their coron virus pandemic Hummer that. they made oh [ __ ] they just uploaded it. probably today what's the uh company. predator or something yes that's it yeah. last week so they made a Corona virus. that's what it says I don't know umv I. was making a big assumption see that's. that's the [ __ ] that they make they make. things like those but then they put. these Bonkers engines in them have you. ever written in one of those they you're. real far from the person we would be. like this that's how far we would be.
like if I was driving and you were the. passenger there would be almost this. much space in between us real they're. real real weird but dude you don't worry. about [ __ ] when you're in one of those. things you're like run me over [ __ ]. good luck [ __ ] they just feel like like. a a real tank. you could run over a wall in them right. that's the thing I remember when I was a. kid go like a three foot wall or some. [ __ ] oh over a wall yeah the whole. Underside is completely protected like. you can scratch over all kinds of [ __ ]. in it everything's inside that's why.
there's that big hump it's because the. drivetrain is all protected underneath. the chassis so you get this. extraordinary um uh travel in terms of. uh how far like a you go over a rock. like your your height what is that. called there's a term for. that going over how much travel space. you have underneath the vehicle. clearance that's it yeah so you have a. [ __ ] ton of clearance and uh you know. that's a military designed over.
engineered vehicle for the streets yeah. but if you're like super paranoid I like. how my car you could do the clearance. you could like raise it you know or. lower it it's pretty nice yeah those are. the future right cyber truck yeah all. those electric cars are the future. they're just going to get better at. charging them it's the future especially. if we could really get um solar down. here in La if we really nail solar yeah. I mean they the technology needs to. change for sure because it would be nice. to have solar on your car but right now.
I think I've read like if you had all. solar panels on top of your car it still. wouldn't do anything yeah isn't that. crazy though like you have a source of. power that people use to power their. homes and big buildings solar but you. can't utilize it in a car which is. always in the sun yeah especially out. here right Fisker figured it out you. know Fisker did they had a roof they had. a solar roof that powered the. radio yeah it only powered the radio. though but that's better than nothing.
you think it it would still be like hey. if my car is sitting out all day at. least it gave me 20 miles you know. something like that right right sitting. in the parking lot all day it should be. sucking up some juice yeah I think. that's coming too I think just the. technology is just not 100% there well. they need a battery technology jump. right they need a big jump and how much. power gets stored and how quickly you. can get it in there cuz right now it's. still a little clunky yeah well the the. Tesla wall the battery pack over the.
wall you know that's pretty badass where. you it's pretty badass but what I mean. is it takes too long to charge a car and. then it doesn't have long enough of a. range right well that's when the. wireless charging on the roads or you're. just driving on a wireless charger you. just got to give up a micro they put a. microchip in your hand and you're fine. and it's also it doubles as a Corona. tester so you make sure that you never. get mistaken for someone with Corona. they just have to scan you hey you going. into this bathroom can I have your hand. please up green go ahead and urinate.
with peace and Harmony go. ahead we're putting those UV lights. everywhere am I freaking out I mean. really I'm trying not to sound like a. conspiracy nut because I'm not accusing. anyone of creating a conspiracy but what. I am saying is if if I was a conspiracy. not or if I was a country that was. conspiring to take over the world this. is not a bad way to do. it I don't think that's happening right. now I want to be real clear but it's. kind of the same result that we're. experiencing right now where everyone's.
being forced to shut down with who knows. what. consequences but it's also the right. thing to do so we're all like whoa how. do you you know it's another one of. those things about being a person where. the right thing to do still feels crazy. still feels like all right we're just. going to sit around yeah I guess that's. what you have to do you know and it's. kind of in one way encouraging that so. many people are willing to stay home and. people aren't rebelling they're like.
[ __ ] you this is my country I'm going to. go to work I'll take a chance it's. everybody's going to get it anyway [ __ ]. you there's way less people doing that. and when you consider that the. government is controlling 320 million. people pretty crazy almost everyone's. complying with staying home there's only. a few essential. businesses yeah we're going to have to I. think really have space suits to leave. the house and work God damn. it they're going to probably be like.
this this metal plastic thing that could. wash off really yeah they're all going. to be padded dudes are going to put. socks in their space hits it's going to. be a. mess are you worried Jamie yeah I've. never seen you this worded because I've. uh everything you're sort of saying like. I I look into the future and sort of see. where we're headed and I don't see a I. don't really see much out there cuz I. don't know what it is but it's not. anything good because there's nothing. there I don't see like going to the. movies again seems like that's probably. close to out movies were already dying.
anyway yeah they might not survive this. they've already opened up the ability to. like put those right into your house for. 20 bucks perfect way better sweet so. winter movie theater's going to open. again all right what's next yeah. concerts sporting events yeah I don't. know. that's just those are all the fun things. we used to do so like [ __ ] it's also. once everything's in place where they. can treat people effectively and they. have the adequate number of.
ventilators then are we going to go back. to the way things were or we going to. have new standards in place I don't know. I don't know man that they look they did. an unprecedented thing they locked down. the entire country to save people's. lives never happened before we're in new. territory and you know it's dangerous. when a [ __ ] like me is making sense. when I'm when I'm one of the people was. talking about something like this try to. find it I just read yesterday I don't. know if someone shared this was of F.
Scott. fgalantai you're not you're told not to. go anywhere but some people don't. believe it forget he was talking about. another writer friend of his who wasn't. taking it seriously and like whoa so it. was like real simar sound it sounded. very similar to this. yeah I guess that's how people always.
have been right especially back then. when it's real hard to get information. imagine people are dying and everyone's. just like what's going on you got to. read the newspaper like [ __ ] son of a. [ __ ] what happened it's. fake how' they get you I just I just saw. that note was going viral during the. pandemic and a lot of people have been. falling for it and son of a [ __ ] guess. I was one of them well what a good way. to. end everything's fine everything's fake. yeah um I'm glad you guys are still.
doing kill Tony I really do I think it's. an awesome move it's a way to go just. keep keep pumping out the content let. people know you're there and you know. they'll be psyched when when everything. gets back up and running again you guys. back up running to your live shows I'm. hope we're all on the road again in uh. at the very least this summer I really. hope so yeah it's been fun though having. this podcast definitely good times good. times fun times um give everybody your. Instagram uh redband re DB an Twitter.
same yeah redband and check me out um to. check my VR out I'm doing it almost. every night I'm doing a VR can they join. in there and [ __ ] with you imag they're. in the chat room I had the chat room. open right now but no no no I mean like. in the game uh they can when I'm playing. VR chat which is uh my second thing I've. been playing a lot VR chats like an old. chat room back in the day oh so you can. see it when you're in VR you know Ready. Player one where everyone's a different. Avatar that's how it is it's it's like. you come up and SpongeBob's talking to. you we in a [ __ ] movie man oh so you.
actually talk to the people and you see. them oh you see them you have sex with. him in the game it's great so check it. out and red ban on YouTube oh they're. going to all [ __ ] you now all. right bye. everybody that was a good one dude yeah. a lot of Silling. [Music].
