Joe Rogan Experience #101 - Adam Carolla (Part 2)

like there's a whole network of them you. know I've done Doug Benson's and Duncan. Trussell and Duncan will be on the show. tomorrow at 3 o'clock you know and did. Marc Maron's and it's I'm kind to Eddie. if and Jim Jefferies so I'm doing all. these podcasts it's like you know it's. like there's this cool network of radio. stations that's happening organically. you know instead of like above the love. sponge and you know the Pharrell show. all being you know stuffed into one. thing by a corporation like everybody's. kind of found themselves and become like. this network sort of organically you.

know it's cool you know like fans of one. will hear about the other you know like. Duncan Trussell got some fans when when. you know he came undid this podcast and. I came and did his and you know we you. know share each other's listeners and. stuff it's it's really [ __ ] a very. unique thing you know this podcast thing. and as we said it probably wouldn't. happen if it wasn't for Adam you know. him and also an Anthony ku Mia from Opie. and Anthony because Anthony was doing. that live from the compound thing about. serene and Tom Green yeah yeah.

absolutely yeah yeah can't forget Tom. Green yeah Tom Green doing his his show. on Tom Green Comm which he does anymore. yeah I'm not really sure what he does. anymore I think he went to some kind of. subscription-based thing so I kind of I. don't know. did you hear are completely getting off. subject did you hear what happened in. Afghanistan well the the Taliban. escaping out of the prison no I haven't. dude some guy tweeted me this thing and. the guy who tweeted it was really funny. he said in rocking was his exact quote I.

don't want to [ __ ] up this guy's quote. because it was such a funny situation. they they dug 450 Taliban fighters will. escape out of here's what he wrote he. wrote four and fifty plus prisoners. break out of jail by digging a hole in. the ground an homage to Bugs Bunny and. raising Arizona. the guys name is Gary with two R's. whoever and so i retweeted it and then i. read the the link and it is pretty. [ __ ] fascinating these guys dug a.

hole in the ground like a [ __ ] movie. and went under the prison and got all. the guys out of prison Wow. yeah did did they catch them no no I. mean not yet but just the whole thing in. Afghan. Danis I mean who's the [ __ ] bad guy. over there they don't escape they were. all murdered these [ __ ] guys are. running around with sandals on in the. mountains and you know we got drones. flying overhead taking pictures of them. shooting missiles and hundreds of. thousand oh how many thousands of. [ __ ] soldiers over there who's the. bad guy I don't know it gets a little.

[ __ ] blurry right you know I don't. know I mean you know they're they're. they're they're evil terrorists and. they're attacking the Americans what are. we doing over there you don't think you. get you think you just come into. someone's neighborhood they don't. [ __ ] shoot at you you can't just take. over you know when you take over people. fight back and when they fight back well. who's the [ __ ] bad guys it's some kid. who was born in Afghanistan and this is. all he knows and this is the. neighborhood he grew up in and all. sudden he sees these [ __ ] helicopters. fly overhead tanks rolling around the. ground what would you think you think. you're being invaded who's the bad guy. it's it's very very tricky man I mean I.

obviously never would want anything bad. to happen to any of our troops overseas. but I also don't want them to do. anything bad so these [ __ ] people. either the whole thing's a [ __ ]. who knows how many people have become. terrorists because of all the [ __ ] that. we've done overseas who knows how many. people lost family members who knows how. many people who would have been like. sort of a moderate person who really you. know wouldn't get into this kind of. stuff got drawn into it because a. tragedy got drawn into it because you. someone they'd know or they get to watch. you know video footage we deal with [ __ ].

like what's going on in Iraq dude. there's like a million dead people over. there over the course of the nine years. of this war whatever it's been million. people have died right that's an insane. number of people I mean if you stacked a. million bodies up in in the middle of. like Washington State Park and had. everybody look here's everyone that's. dying Iraq maybe then it would sink in. maybe then people would really kind of. realize how crazy war is in fact this is. really how we have to do things in 2011. you know what's crazy is that I didn't. know about that it would seem that.

that's something I should know about you. know a million people died in Iraq no no. no about this another story you did buy. the other day I'm eating and it's like. we have breaking news here and now we're. gonna go live downtown Los Angeles. Lindsay Lohan is going to jail let's. let's interview the sheriff and blah. blah blah and then it was like wow this. is crazy why is it worth they spent like. five minutes on it and then they go. alright now for another tot in this news. story today the wedding of the century. and it's those people that are getting. married in the UK the the prints or. whatever have you heard about the [ __ ].

I've very it's really song it's all. about it every single news channel here. in the United States and I why do I care. about some prince getting married like. why is this because people love gossip. the news has become like People magazine. I mean when you're talking about with. two wars going on plus Libya plus. actions in Pakistan with drones there's. a lot of crazy [ __ ] going on every. [ __ ] day of the week a lot of it if. you're hearing anything at all about. Lindsey Lohan and she hasn't killed 50. people I know there's something wrong.

and I know more about Lindsay Lohan than. I do about [ __ ] let me ask for this. do you think that that is because that. the networks are trying to you know make. the the easiest to digest sort of. program except the people are tired from. work and just give them give the dummies. what they want is it because the dummies. want this or it's because that's the. only thing that's on the air is it do. they have a mentality that people are. dumb and in pushing all this Lindsay. Lohan [ __ ] look here's the thing man I. can get into it too you know I.

understand it I mean I don't judge. people like mrs. Rogan likes the gossip. magazine sometimes she likes like. reading about things every now and that. and you know and I don't I I make fun of. it I make fun of it but I'll [ __ ] if. I'm taking a [ __ ] I'll start reading it. you know and I'll start reading Tammy. just left her like that and what is she. doing oh man she's [ __ ] that guy now. whoa this is crazy and now she's got a. baby I bet he's mad you know it's it's. easy there's we have instincts to gossip. and we have instincts to follow you know. silly [ __ ] stories in the news. whether it's about the princess or.

especially when its royalty that's when. it's so squirrely it's like that Prince. that guy doesn't do [ __ ] he doesn't do. [ __ ] he's a prince I mean he hasn't done. anything he hasn't been elected he. hasn't written some awesome books that. everybody loves this guy is only famous. because he's a prince. I mean that's just [ __ ] completely. insane that's that when you get into. royalty it's the ultimate form of. celebrity you know an entitled celebrity. for no reason at least Kim Kardashian. sucked some dicks. you know they mean they just can.

masturbate to that yeah well you know. everybody talks about how Kim. Kardashian's become famous over nothing. but sore. but no no so you became famous because. she left that black guy [ __ ] the [ __ ]. out of her on camera yeah but she's now. making millions and millions and. millions of dollars and then you have. like these girls working like jenna haze. that's not making millions and millions. of millions of dollars and she pretty. much does the same [ __ ] but if she did. it once she did it once and it was her. boyfriend and then it gray got out who. knows we have as families making 17 what.

million a year who knows how long it's a. lot of month they're making a lot of. money they're making a lot of money. she's everywhere yeah but you know who. knows who the [ __ ] put that video out. you can't really maybe she did maybe she. did maybe he did who knows. maybe someone else got ahold of it who. knows but the point is if we even if we. knew like that you put it out on purpose. it's okay still it's like your guess as. long as you say that you didn't put it. on purpose you get a pass but if you do. put it on purpose if you make a porno.

video on purpose you [ __ ] on camera on. purpose you don't get in isn't that. strange. no he's not gonna give you a [ __ ] TV. show you know you're not gonna get. nothing unless it's a TV show on porn. and it makes you want to cry right you. know but they keep it up with the. Kardashians doesn't make you want to cry. you know you watch like one of those. inside pieces on belladonna did you ever. watch that show oh yeah yeah right yes. it made you might cry right definitely. yeah I'm glad she's retired now. hopefully maybe is happy maybe she's. happier was just taking baseball bat. something else probably Hey look it.

takes all kinds of people dude yeah but. for it is a weird thing though that. you're allowed to do it as long as you. at least claim that you did it on. accident. that it got released on accident but if. we suspect that you put it out on. purpose you actually made your own sex. video and released it I think or I think. it's pretty easy to get a video out. nowadays because I've been realizing how. many recordings now I have made of. myself that I just accidentally tweet. the other day I accidentally tweeted.

something that I thought was a direct. message out to everybody and then I was. like wow that's close I caught it right. away and it wasn't a video baby a video. was a video yeah some sexy time video no. no it was a video oh it could have been. sexy time it was cheesy video like a. cheesy like this make it. and accidentally put it out you know the. guy was trying to delete it huh yeah. delete it right away there was only one. person supposedly that commented on it. but like 170 people solid and I'm like.

[ __ ] you there's just one person in. there that grabbed that video that would. have been an awful how embarrassing is. the video it's not that you you liked. submitted to yourself you crawled inside. yourself it creeped me out when I sucked. when I realized I did it I was like. we'll give us the the Cliff Notes.

version of what's on the video being we. did I didn't want to play it at least I. don't have it I deleted it once I could. get it off everything I can embarrassing. will give me the cliff notes Wow. it was like I'm laying in bed at 7 in. the morning and my girlfriend's like. laying on top you don't know how to deal.

with maybe that's the best way to do. actually just pretend you like in a Tom. Cruise movie I did we did a another. blackout podcast and it was we started. drinking at like midnight right we got. we drank a whole bottle of vodka and two. huge glasses of grape vodka. oh [ __ ] and an hour and so it's me and. Veronica Ritchie and it but with so. hilarious it starts on Veronica Ritchie. girl is a penthouse yeah yeah but the. beginning of it was really awkward. conversation because he's super shy and.

then they can see what super shy super. shy. her whole purple family's really shy. plural just [ __ ] each other right is. that what I asked that that's how drunk. I became and then there's one point. where she she she's went to stand up and. she fell and did like a backflip so with. me you've known this chick for a while. and that's the only time you've ever. talked to her about molestation you did. it on a pot yeah yeah I was pretty. pretty great did she respond.

just give me what happens she's been. molested dude please. you remember I blacked out she says. she's been molested I remember I blacked. out. that's ridiculous you're the worst actor. ever no I swear to God I haven't. listened to read listen to it cuz I. listen to me sit around sit around. listen to my [ __ ] self again cancel. all the soap poppers man I know they. cancel two big ones the other day at 180. M cancelled a hospital one last year.

seat why do I know about this soap. operas might as well be opera it's awful. it might as well be opera like what are. you doing something that's old and. stupid all right and the idea that. you're gonna have this crazy running. drama every day and like what's can. happen and she comes home and finds him. with her and just every day there's. drama and crazy music and what a weird. way to live man [ __ ] stone Joe hell. yeah you are the two volcanoes got back. in dot you'd overripe back in Sun we.

drove in just an hour ago and you dove. right back in have you ever tried one of. the fake volcanoes that's like a copy of. it like a generic copy of the volcano no. I haven't it's called like the wave or. so I forget what it's called but I just. wondered if you because only $90. compared to whatever the volcano is like. four dollars I don't know oh no I. wouldn't go budget on vaporizers now. yeah it seems like complicated man seems. like there's a lot of [ __ ] going on. there and electricity and it's heat and.

any time this heat I see you gotta get. the best thing because you don't want. things burning through the [ __ ] cord. and blowing up in your house or whatever. some cheap piece of [ __ ] would do just. get that's get the stuff that's gonna. work that volcano thing what we're. talking about is a vaporizer and what. vaporizing is ladies and gentlemen sorry. the health conscious amongst us the. stoner said don't want any of those bad. nasty spits that you take in from. burning smoke which apparently is not. nearly as bad for you as tobacco smoke. but it's gotta be somewhat bad for you. it's just smoke I mean I don't know if.

it does it has some health benefits it's. an expectorant and apparently it's very. good for people when they have asthma. people have asthma at least some of them. reported that they have a benefit from. from smoking from smoking the pot but. what the vaporizer does is it cuts out. all the health problems it just it heats. it up but doesn't burn it so and it. blows air through it and it releases. this THC mist and that is collected and. one of these and what this is is you.

hear it with itunes folks it's a plastic. bag at the end of it it has this little. novel and you just suck out the pure THC. and if you suck out enough you can see. aliens and by the way the volcano I've. tried every single kind of vaporizer. known to man and the volcano is the only. one that I recommend if you're gonna get. one get the volcano because that [ __ ]. works where the other ones you have to. you're trying to adjust the temperature. right and sometimes your feels like. you're not getting anything then other.

times if you got too much dark smoke for. some reason all that shit's just too. ridiculous just the volcano does it yeah. it just figures out but I see how people. don't want to pay that money much money. together yeah yes I was on Craigslist. looking and there was a lot of those. generic ones on you know the only reason. why all this [ __ ] cost so much because. it's illegal the only reason the only. reason everything cost so much because. it's illegal marijuana should be cheap. as [ __ ] it's a plant it's easy to grow. it's a goddamn weed it doesn't even get. sick it doesn't rot you know you ever. like look at some trees and there's also. bugs [ __ ] them up box don't [ __ ] up.

reefer step back [ __ ] you have a chance. bugs don't have a chance. reefer doesn't need pesticides like. people who say whatever did they put. pesticides you weed man you like DDT. poisoning bro that's what's wrong with. weed no you don't need it doesn't need. pesticides it doesn't get sick it's not. like all these [ __ ] ass plants it's one. of the toughest plants that's ever. existed it's the best fiber the fiber. that you make at a hemp like when you. make hemp jeans or clothes or but it's. not it's like so much more sturdy than. cotton and the paper like hemp paper is.

so superior to cotton it all became. illegal most people don't even know this. but we came illegal back when they. figured out a more effective way to. process the hemp fiber it was legal. forever but it became like something. that people stopped using because cotton. became so much more easy to process they. came up with the cotton gin and instead. of just having slaves pick the cotton. which was a huge pain in the ass. then they could run it through this. [ __ ] machine and it made it way. easier and so people are like [ __ ] this. hemp cuz hemp fiber is like really tough. stuff and you got to break it down if.

you ever watch like manual breaking down. of hemp fiber it's a laborious process. man because the [ __ ] stalk of this. plant this is like an animal or an alien. plant rather it's an incredible plant. like it's the fibers like super [ __ ]. tough and strong you make the best rope. out of it the best cloth out of it it's. like so superior but it takes a long. time to turn that fiber into cloth or. paper it's really difficult to break. down and then in like the early 1930s a.

guy came out with a machine called a. décor decatur and what the décor decatur. did was allow them to process it just. like the cotton gin processes cotton. allows it to smash it down into this. this pulp and make it more much more. usable like almost immediately and then. that's when they said [ __ ] this and. that's when pot became illegal pop. became illegal entirely because of hemp. which has nothing to do with the. psychoactive properties it became. illegal because of William Randolph. Hearst who was running newspapers and he.

also had paper mills and they were gonna. make people start using hemp paper that. was gonna be the [ __ ] because you could. you could take like a forest full of. trees and you chop them down with your. [ __ ] because you don't have anymore. trees yeah it takes a long-ass time for. those trees to grow back but hemp you. grow it every four months you'd have a. new [ __ ] crop I mean you could use. the same property over and over and over. again it's renewable and you get much. more paper pulling so this [ __ ]. was gonna have to spend millions of. dollars so them and DuPont William.

Randolph Hearst and DuPont they got. together and they said hey well [ __ ]. say that pot makes Bob blacks and. Mexicans raped by chicks and that's all. he did that's what they did that's. literally what they did they started. printing stories William Randolph Hearst. did in the paper of this new drug called. marijuana and what marijuana was had. nothing even to do with pot the original. name for marijuana was a slang for a. wild Mexican tobacco so they call it. marijuana and then say blacks and. Mexicans are smoking marijuana so when.

Congress made hemp illegal when they. make marijuana illegal didn't even know. they were making hemp. illegal as well they [ __ ] everybody. and they get it in 1930-something. it's amazing that that [ __ ] is still. going on it's still illegal in the age. of the internet where all the. information is at your disposal. everything you can google search every. [ __ ] study ever done on pot and you. can see right away that most people want.

it legal who's stopping it all people. with money why they stopping it well. because they're making money on. marijuana being illegal and they're. using that money they're bribing. politicians and that's how they keep it. in place [ __ ] really in 2011 you can be. that open it's that open where you can. see so clearly yeah it's so sick man. it's sick it's sick that we live like. this it's sick that you can put people. in jail for one let's smoke a joint and. kick back and listen to some good music. and you know eat some food and have some.

great conversation with friends and not. hurt anybody and yet cops can come and. lock you up in a [ __ ] cage for that. it's ridiculous we know what drugs are. bad folks we know we have to stop. letting people tell you that the drugs. that are good or bad because they're. [ __ ] wrong this one's are bad don't. do math don't do heroin or if you do you. got to be a musician or something you. know heroin seems to be okay for. musicians kills you though did you see. that guy bat what's his name Batista.

those Strikeforce guys yeah did you see. he has a thing on TMZ the other day no. he was talking about how his deal got. cut you know from when it's the the. merger with the UFC and the Strikeforce. yeah like that do you think that's. something do you know anything about. this guy or no I don't know anything. more than I saw there was a headline on. MMA TV or mixed martial arts calm yeah I. saw that but I didn't read it it's not. interesting to me not really I mean he. seems like a nice guy I wish him well.

but you know I'm interested in young. guys they're coming out but I mean. occasionally a guy like Lester you know. I mean but legend was or to a serious. wrestler you know yeah like you're. serious amateur wrestler like that's. what made him exciting it wasn't just it. was a big guy is this guy like I don't. believe so I don't know though I really. don't know his background right he's. just but I. feel like I would have heard about him. the way I heard about Lesnar when last. name was a wrestler that back when he. was doing pro wrestling I had heard. about what a freaky was right like. people were we're talking about what a.

crazy specimen this guy was dude there's. a [ __ ] video of him we've talked. about on the podcast before but it's. worth it's worth repeating she's so. ridiculous. he was 300 pounds solid muscle right he. gets on top of the [ __ ] turnbuckle or. whatever the hell it is stands on the. ropes and flips through the air and. lands on his head yeah lands. iins [ __ ] head he flew through the. air and landed on his head and he was. still conscious and he climbed on top of. the guy and still got the pin and you.

watch it if you watch it you watch him. do that you know that's supposed to kill. people how did that not kill him. who is this guy how the [ __ ] of that guy. survived that it's supposed to snap your. neck and break every [ __ ] bone in. your spinal column it's supposed to be. just chaos for you after that meanwhile. he like finishes the match it's. ridiculous so he was already this guy. where people are like this Brock lesner. guy man you ain't never seen a. heavyweight move like that guy you know. we had heard about his [ __ ] times and. that was like one of the things they. talked about during his wrestling days. was his times in the NFL Combine you.

know the NFL Combine is you know it's. like I actually can pull up the numbers. because it's so ridiculous it's worth. reading but the NFL Combine is when they. take athletes and they you know they run. them through these tests like the. 40-yard and you know see how fat let me. find it real quick here Brock and Shane. here it is yeah this is his crazy. [ __ ] numbers the 40-yard sprint 4.6.

seconds he's 200 and [ __ ] 90. something pounds okay 4.6 seconds that's. like eight times faster than you can do. stop and think about that forty yards a. four point six seconds that's a fast. forty 225 pound benchpress forty three. repetitions 43 of 225 what the [ __ ] is. vertical jump 35 inches his broad jump. 10 feet he hurls 300 pounds. ten feet through the [ __ ] air that's.

ridiculous [ __ ] dude that's a freak you. know so we had heard about that [ __ ]. like when when he was around we'd heard. about that long ago and so when I heard. that he was gonna go into MMA I was like. holy I was never his first fight I saw. his first fight live it was that LA at. the Coliseum it was for k1 it took this. [ __ ] dude down just smash them and I. remember looking at that going who's. gonna [ __ ] with dad like that's a. dangerous [ __ ] some freaky guy. who can get on top of you and just punch.

your brains in and try stopping it good. luck you know took of course you know. Cain Velasquez eventually did stop it. but he was another another freak. specimen yeah when is it when's the. rematch for that well it's not gonna. happen unless Brock gets by Junior dos. Santos that's gonna be in June Junior. dos Santos and him or coaching this. season of The Ultimate Fighter and then. they're gonna meet up in June how does. Brock's training right now have you. heard anything about it but heard. anything other than he's back with Greg. Nelson who is the guy who runs Minister. of Minnesota mixed martial arts and he's.

awesome I'm a big fan of that guy a big. fan of his his coaching and his you know. he does great work he's got formulates. good game plans he's a real student of. the game and you know he's fighters are. always well trained you know all of his. guys very smart and well trained he. handled shirk and he's got you know a. couple the young guys coming up like um. the [ __ ] his name like I just want a. decision [ __ ] I hate that they opened up.

a Gracie to Kearney what's up they. opened about Gracie jiu-jitsu in Burbank. right down the street from me didn't ya. are you gonna join no why not I took a. photo of it that's pretty dude get in. there take a woman's class take a spin. class cuz it's a Gracie spin have you. been a Gracie spin yet take the ones. close dude step aerobics. they have ribbons remember those ribbons. with the sticks in the shape girl used. to do that used to tell me all the time. used to get in shape girl by the way. have you seen this that guy did you ever.

watch that guy's animation that he did. for Bert Kreischer 'he's staples video. no or when there are bars oh no when he. used to work out in the basement of that. bookstore somebody put it to animation. the same. did the first one's [ __ ] brilliant. you gotta watch it really yeah the guy's. great what's it about you gonna do. women's classes that's been getting. shake a pink kimono on and and just look. like a dyke shave your face that's what.

my dear just go and say you're a dyke. it's what my dad do they allow. transgender in women's classes like if. you were a man and you decided to become. a woman do they allow you to take. women's classes well you're allowed to. when you get post-op or whatever even if. you're not fully you like to go to the. woman's restroom are you really yeah. post-op or whatever you know no that's. what the supposedly was behind that. woman getting beat up in that McDonald's. oh my god yeah [ __ ] crazy closely. that's a transvestite really yeah that's. a man who dresses like a woman I that's.

that's crazy that we know about. McDonald's well I've been seeing the. video you haven't seen it now it's. pretty ruthless let's go beat the [ __ ]. out of that girl and they keep going. back they keep kicking her and then a. girl kicks her when she's down kicks. boots her in the head and the girl. starts convulsing oh god yeah it's. pretty rough it's pretty rough and. people are called it's so fake that. looks so fake tell you what wasn't fake. that big gigantic kick to the head yes. [ __ ] was real you know it's very. possible people don't know people go. into convulsions it's very possible that. someone can have a seizure from heavy. brain trauma like that very possible.

don't think it's not you know if the. girl really kicked her in the head like. it was really stomped her head you know. it was pretty rough and you know the. managers trying to keep the girls off of. the II can't he's ineffective everybody. got fired the whole thing it's pretty. crazy but the idea was that she was a he. she and she was going in the woman's. room that's what I read whether or not. that's true I haven't I don't know if. they've interviewed her and got the. whole full deal see this is like another. form of soap opera antoine dodson got.

arrested for marijuana possession did. you hear did he yeah running total at. home home homeboy somewhere in Alabama. Wow. what's he doing an Alabama probably. where he lives no I thought he moved. back to LA I heard that he was living in. LA now and they were filming a new show. with him and really yeah maybe he went. back home and say hi to the homies and. he got busted hi homies oh oh. yeah back then man you still can get. busted back. rather back there is back then that's. funny because I said back then you know. meaning like Alabama but it is back then.

in time as well you know I mean that's. really what it is I'm saying back then. because I'm thinking of it is it being. in like the 50s you know I should have. said back there. but back then is more appropriate they. live in a [ __ ] time warp yeah. stupid ass place where you can get. [ __ ] arrested for oh do you hear but. the Rhode Island guy here's another one. I love hearing about politicians to get. [ __ ] up this guy who is a he was a. anti marijuana House Minority Leader. Robert Watson he was arrested for. alcohol and drug charges they Co homeboy.

over and he failed the field sobriety. test so then they they grabbed him and. they searched his pockets and they find. out he's got a plastic bag filled with. pot and a wooden pipe so this [ __ ]. dummy who is this anti pot guy is gets. busted with pot you know and that to me. you know you you that's like a gay guy. who secretly gave votes against gay. marriage and that they should be they.

should be locked up that's like that's. like god you're like a traitor you're. like a traitor for humanity like you're. a bad person like if you really want to. lock people in jail for pot and yet you. enjoy pot you're a shitty human being. you're willing to put your own personal. gain ahead of the betterment of the. people you you're willing to take. something that you know is not right and. push it because you think more people. gonna agree with you because it's the. the contemporary opinion you know and.

that's a that's a really shitty human. being that guy you know I hope that guy. is ostracized from the political. community for life I hope they never. allow him back and it's sad but they. probably will he'll probably eventually. show up somewhere else and apologize or. become a Christian or something stupid. and and they'll they'll suck him right. back in enough people will believe in. him that he'll get some shitty job at. some shitty little [ __ ] community. where they won't bother Google search. and what a douchebag he is you know. hopefully gets eye herpes I are you know.

that should exist where you can get. Arby's on your eyeball really yeah and. it breaks out like once once a month or. whatever. never happens I heard of a story and I. don't know if it's true so Internet. do your research a wrestler was on a in. the middle of a match his contact fell. out put his contact back in his I got. staff from the Kanto lands and died is. this true. I have no idea this could very easily be. one of those urban myths but I heard the.

story and I was like that is the. scariest [ __ ] thing I've ever heard. in my life you know you eyeball staff. that winds up killing you just because a. contact lens fell on the ground and the. ground is so [ __ ] polluted you know. there's so much funk and [ __ ] human. slime on that ground that staff is some. scary [ __ ] man remember how scary like. websites like rotten com used to be yeah. there was the one the other one that was. really bad not rotten comput the one I.

had like the red and black and it was. yeah I don't remember and we thought. your talk I remember I would that be. scared to go there yeah there was a. there's a few sites to this day that I. won't [ __ ] with yeah but somebody's. posted up a video the other day of a. Mexican lady cutting some dudes head off. now I watched the whole thing. I don't know I've done what's that was. weak it was weak you should have done it. they would she didn't just cut off his. head she did a lot of other [ __ ] to him. too there's a video of it they show the. guy dying I mean they show her and I'm I.

was amazed at how the hell much I've. gotten over the impact of those things. you know it used to be I would watch. that it would haunt my dreams like the. first time I ever saw faces a death and. I realized these are really bodies like. faces death some of the faces death were. I don't know if it was exactly faces of. death but one of those type of videos I. remember one of them was super. disturbing it was in some Middle Eastern. country where they were killing a guy by. tying him in between two trucks and. pulling them up oh yeah remember the.

blood orgy that was completely fake. right I don't remember that the blood. orgy was they had a body in the middle. and they were like oh yeah that was like. that looked fake as [ __ ] right yeah dude. the Train chick was always the one that. scared me the girl steps it for the. Train yeah smash omadi fries towards the. kid yeah. oh my god that's hard yeah my alright. forgot about that train one man I forgot. about that train one whoa monkey brains. monkey brains is rough yeah. but I'll tell you what that's a monkey I. don't really care that much about a.

month see I mean I'm not happy that a. monkey dies but you want to see monkeys. get [ __ ] up watch the chimps [ __ ] up. the monkeys yeah you know that's the. most disturbing monkey [ __ ] online much. watching chimps eating monkeys while. they're alive yeah so monkey brains I. don't even know if that was real yeah. who knows I used to have the face of the. death I've talked about this I'm maybe. not in the podcast but UFC do UFC. because and that was our scary tape like. I got us seat number two in fear or. whatever though phases of death yes it. would go and you know watch that [ __ ]. and yeah they used to disturb the [ __ ].

out of me like that video the guys. getting pulled to get pulled apart by. the trucks that [ __ ] haunted me for. days but now I can watch and it's like. it's so much easier to digest my. favorite one was not my favorite the. most disturbing one that where that guy. gets like shot in the stomach and good. oh yeah yeah or whatever was and he. falls down I don't see that you didn't. oh that was one of the best of the I. think which faces a death - it was like. he goes oh yeah yeah he falls down and. we used to always say that.

oh but Dwyers the most disturbing I ever. was that's the guy who got he was uh. some one of those [ __ ] things might. not even face it down I got a couple of. other ones too yeah I should have never. watched those though that's so I don't. know do you think that it's bad that you. become desensitized because I'm not. desensitized to in real life you know. what do you think I don't think it's. good for your soul like I think I think. after I saw the that beheading video the. famous Iraqi beheading guy. I think after seeing I'm like you know.

what I am cutting myself off of that I'm. just not gonna do that anymore there's. no reason I don't need to see it I see. what it looks like yeah yeah I'm in. agreement. yeah sure watch it not all the time most. of the time I'm most the time I'm. avoiding it but every now and then I'll. get stupid and I just get weak because. that the more gravy to you well is a. little bit of that a little bit of I. don't have anything particular that I. need to be looking at so I just decide. hmm let me see what the [ __ ] on this. hmm let me see what's on that page and.

then I'll see it I. alright let's click it let's just click. it let's see what what it is you know. what I think the best movie for you ever. is if they made like a horror movie kind. of like a Friday the 13th but it was. like Friday 13th but the porn mixed in. with it like there was like there's like. six girls staying at this hope you know. you're projecting your own fucked-up. weird [ __ ] on I think that would be your. favorite movie ever. no I don't like Friday's werewolf yeah I. like werewolf movies I've made to figure.

out why what the [ __ ] that is I guess. somehow or another knowing that deep. inside people there's some some sort of. an animalistic nature that there is. almost like a wolf you know you're a. werewolf no not just in person but [ __ ]. is wrong with you exist stupid I. remember when Twilight was Big East. always say you're a werewolf brand. you're gonna give me a bad reputation. with these lives I don't think that's. cool man we're friends you can't just. [ __ ] push it like this put it and.

next thing you know be on my Wikipedia. page that's the next thing on the. Wikipedia page I'm not saying that you. should put in that during the Twilight. days Joe Rogan often said that he was a. werewolf I'm not saying you should put. that on there what if it's on there. I ain't hatin you know I'm sayin I ain't. mad at you I'm already on some man [ __ ]. you know because really Clinique jail. right said that you want some man [ __ ]. said something about putting it on on. Wikipedia apparently it's up there man. that's hilarious.

I don't [ __ ] with my Wikipedia so if you. want to write I got banned from wicked I. support your fake writing [ __ ] about me. on Wikipedia as long as it's funny you. know just be funny with it just have. some fun look it's a [ __ ] man you know. that's it the whole idea about those. things is silly you know you're you're. gonna allow everybody to just contribute. [ __ ] how are you gonna know I could ever. know are you gonna ever know that's. someone corrects a once they don't. correct it what did you get banned for I. don't know my IP was banned and I've. never I don't think I've ever used. Wikipedia and then one day just start.

being medicine now I'm thinking like an. ex-girlfriend was like at my house going. oh I might see Britney Spears is not as. hot as mine first of all you let chicks. use your your computer or they did it. with their own computer didn't like. their own computer you. you guys stay off my IP address when you. when you have a chick over your house. when she starts [ __ ] with your email. do you go ahead well I'm [ __ ] you. doing I'm pretty good nowadays it's like. I'm not like some crime happen though. yeah in the past yes you're always into.

all kinds of weird [ __ ] and dating all. these weird girls it's mostly an. ex-girlfriend talk like hey what's this. email come with your ex-girlfriend or. something look through your emails to. find that [ __ ]. I don't know yeah I had to I had to be. looking to your emails how else would. she know yeah so she goes in your. computer looks through emails because. what [ __ ] is this yeah and then what he. gotta say. you just tell him the truth I mean like. it's just them overreacting on things. you know like hey look and there's my. ex-girlfriend you know I dated her for. seven years I can talk to this person.

you know then the music starts playing. it's the beginning of a beginning of a. music video from the 90s you know like. orange juice Jones and him walking in. the rain this weekend Toronto is. basically sold out the only tickets that. are available for the Massey Hall show. it might be amazing Hall all right yeah. makes you all Massey home whatever the. [ __ ] it is Friday night the only tickets. that are available are like single seats. by themselves and I'm [ __ ] super.

psyched I'm super psyched to get to. Toronto and I'm super psyched to be. banging my man Sam Triple E with me Sam. the Slayer him jay-z oh yeah shady Sam. triply he's awesome and then the UFC of. course is the next night so it's gonna. be the [ __ ] son I can't wait we are. doing Sal's comedy hole tomorrow night. and that'll be at 8 o'clock yeah 8. o'clock in Hollywood Wow Ronnie oh I. didn't know that I haven't put together. any you know all right call so tell no.

telling what before they asked me today. if we were doing a 9 in her day no yeah. I'm now I might be doing a show at a pot. shop in in Toronto on Thursday night to. Tripoli and I there's apparently some. underground pot thing going on in. Toronto and. they have shows this much so that might. be going down on Thursday night - I'll. keep you posted. Doug Benson get ahold of you he's gonna.

be on the podcast May 11th and tomorrow. tomorrow which is April 27th Duncan. Trussell is coming on three o'clock so. that should be awesome [ __ ] I can't. wait yes thank you to the fleshlight for. sponsoring our podcast and if you go to. Joe Rogan net on the right hand side. there's a link for the fleshlight if you. click it and enter in the code name. Rogan you get 15% off the number one sex. toy for man is awesome Brian and I have. both [ __ ] it on numerous occasions and. we give it two thumbs up kepta jenna.

haze 1 in support of jenna haze cuz she. was on the desk watch podcast and she. seemed like she was very cool she's like. a nice person right she did a she was. nice but she did it he would it sounds. like when she has an orgasm on it and it. was like a minute long or something that. it was [ __ ] beautiful literally. amazing she's uh she's funny you know. like she just embraces being a [ __ ] you. know and and talks about how funny it is. and like a whole thing how she controls. everything no music while the sex is. going on and she doesn't like big long.

stupid scenes she just likes it. it's got 30 she's won more Awards and. porn than anyone it's amazing she's like. she's an OG that Hicks and Gracie little. porn [ __ ] yeah is that what it is yeah. she is right yeah so you like that it. was an amazing interview well maybe. we'll get her on this show - it. definitely [ __ ] will have to do at. your place yeah thank you everybody and. we will see you all tomorrow and Oh may.

may something another San Francisco. tickets are on sale I'm already more. than half sold out so all my friends. that want to come to the shows in San. Francisco it is May 12th 13th and 14th. and like I said the tickets are all. there they're selling very fast so I. don't want to get anybody to get left. out and that'll be Howie. yeah that's at Cobbs and that'll be Joey. and I think Ari's gonna do it - and. you're coming - all right yeah what yeah.

all right my friends we'll see you. tomorrow with our pal and one of the. Podcast guests ever Duncan Trussell as. always I love you [ __ ].