Oprah & Intuitive Laura Day on The Prism: Seven Steps to Heal Your Past & Transform Your Future

Hi everybody. It is my pleasure, delight, joy to be with you here on the. Oprah podcast and I know your time is. very precious to you. So my intention. and my hope is to have conversations. here where you can actually hear. something that enhances your life in a. meaningful way. And let me start this. episode by asking you to think about. this question. You know that little. voice inside you? you the voice, the one.

we all have that makes you go, "Huh?". and take a pause. You may call it a six. sense or a gut feeling. I call it your. life speaking to you. Uh, and I. recognize that your life always first. speaks to you in whispers and then when. you don't pay attention, it gets louder. and louder. The question is, do you pay. attention to that voice, to the. whispers? Maybe you have a life dream. that hasn't come to fruition or a. relationship that failed. Or if you're.

still struggling to cope with a painful. past, I'm actually excited for you to. hear from worldrenowned practicing. intuitive Laura Day. She uses her unique. abilities to help people, some who are. really famous, some who are not famous. at all, and also billion-dollar. companies, make better decisions and. achieve their goals through her inuitive. skills. When Laura Day's breakthrough.

New York Times bestseller, Practical. Intuition, hit bookshelves back in 1996, it helped demystify a complex concept. and bring it into the mainstream. What I. love about intuition is everyone has it. and what you have to do is sort it out. from the rest of the mess of our human. mind. She has been called the psychic of. Wall Street. Laura has spent 40 years. using her intuitive abilities to help. guide individuals, billiondoll. companies, and celebrities make better. decisions to achieve their goals. When.

the intuition comes in, it just touches. your knowing. You don't have to believe. it. You don't have to try to make. yourself get it. It's just there. You. know it. Laura's intuitive gifts were. born from a dark family history. She and. her siblings were largely abandoned by. their parents, left to raise themselves. Laura was also abused, raped, and often. starved as a child. Later in life, she. lost her mother and then two of her. siblings to suicide. I was 10 or 11. My. mother had taken a massive overdose, and.

it was really the first time my. intuition was clear to me. In her new. book, The Prism, Laura shares how her. intuitive gifts saved her from the. darkness, and she reveals seven steps to. heal from the past to create a more. meaningful future. and Laura, the exact. conversation you're talking about five. months ago, I know exactly what you're. referring to and helping me find my. voice in leadership. So, this is this. has been an entire conversation of ahas. and oo this it it resonates very deeply.

[Music]. So, welcome Laura. Thank you. I am so. happy to have you here in our tea house. This is where I normally come to read. Beautiful. Yeah. I normally there's a. sofa there and I come to read but we. bring this all in for the podcast. It's. a really sacred space for me. You know, we first met you all on the Oprah show. uh 30 years ago and we met with your. good friend Dei Moore. We're talking. with Dei Moore. and her good friend, author Laura Day.

And we're talking about intuition and. how you can be more in tune with yours. to make decisions in your life. Demi is. going to be joining us later. Uh, but I. just want to first say you work for. decades on this new book, Prism, Seven. Steps to Heal Your Past and Transform. Your Future. And I really appreciate. that word prism. And I have to say it is. a remarkable read, y'all, because it. gives you actual tools that anybody can. use to change or expand their life. So.

intention is a principle that rules my. life. What was your intention for. writing this book. after um uh the. fourth, fifth, sixth suicide happened in. my life? My mother, my sisters, my. uncle, two of my dearest friends. Um I. really asked myself the question um what. allowed me to survive? And brother and. sister. Brother and sister. Brother and.

sister, mother, uncle, my two best. friends. Um, and of course, um, we will. probably get into this later, but. intuition is a double-edge. So, I tend. to to bond with people who are. struggling because I feel when I say I. feel your pain, I actually feel your. pain. Yeah. And I I asked myself the. question, what allowed me to survive? Now, a lot of people over mystify. intuition. They think, oh, it's. intuition. You had the answers. But. actually, having the answers doesn't.

make you survive. Having the data. doesn't make you survive. There was. something else. And I realized that as a. small child because of intuition, I had. been given a system. And because a. system of survival a sur of survival and. thriving because surviving in pain is. not is not surviving. Enough pain and. you can't do it anymore. And I was. surrounded by the can't do it anymore. And it it because I got this system as a.

small child intuitively it didn't really. have words. but a after my brother's suicide but. before my sisters the words came up and. they came onto a piece of paper and this. allowed me really to survive my sister's. suicide and it also gave me the. explanation of what it takes for all of. us to survive. When I was reading uh the. book Prism, I was thinking wow that is a. lot of people to committed suicide in.

your life and you write it and it's a. sentence and I read it and those of us. who are reading the book you read it and. it's a sent sentence but that is a lot. of sorrow a lot of grief a lot of pain. for you to get through that's capsulated. in in in one sentence. How did you. survive it? Well, you know, I I think. that first of all, I think that the. story of life is we do we do experience. these hits, but some of us Well, that's. a hit and another hit and another hit. and another hit and you have to at some.

point say, "Oh, is this is this a part. of my destiny, too?" Well, I'm not a. believer in destiny. I believe the prism. is the message is you create today, right now, in this moment. you create. your destiny. I didn't really have an. ego and ego gets, you know, ego uh has a. terrible rap, but ego are all the parts. of self that allow you to take that. universal energy and take experience and. create your life. That's what the prism.

is. Yeah. I didn't have one. So, I had. to work really hard to to develop one, which I really didn't develop until much. later in life. This book is what what I. was given as kind of a prosthetic ego. until I developed one. And it really has. the we're mechanical beings in a. mechanical world. And this is these are. the rules. Um and those rules really did. save my life. So you write, "I've been.

raped, molested, abandoned, beaten, hungry, shamed, criticized, and left. alone.". As I was saying, that's a very intense. childhood trauma. And you say your. intuition is what saved you. How can you. explain? Well, you know, part of what. saved me was that my brain was so. damaged that I didn't really experience. the present, but what I did experience.

were almost instructions. Not. instructions that I knew, but guidance. that came through me. So, I'm not wise. They didn't become a part of me. Yeah. They came through me. So, when I was a. 5-year-old alone in an apartment with. three children for really most of the. time, um I and learning to do diapers at. 5 years old and taking care of your. siblings and all of that. Yes. Which. which it which is, you know, isn't.

unlikely in many communities, but I had. no model for it. Yes. And I had no. adults really. My mother was a manic. depressive. You had to I adored her, but. you had to remind her to put clothes on. to go out of the house. My father was a. very violent um physician, wonderful. physician, very violent parent who and. they lived next door. No connection. So, so because Explain what you mean by next. door. They there was a separate. apartment. You had to go out in a. hallway and you had to ring the.

doorbell. It was locked and maybe. someone would answer. Maybe someone. wouldn't go. The children lived. separately from the parents. Yes. The. four of us. And we were four children in. four and a half years. So when my mother. again entered a mental hospital when my. And you all were put next door. We were. next door. Yeah. Uh when we when my. mother was hospitalized for the first. time in my baby sister's life, she was. six months old. So I was I was five and. the youngest was six months old. And.

when I think I remember those yellow. ducky pins because yellow was my. favorite. I when I think of the number. time of times I stuck that poor child. putting on her diaper and you know. because you were left to take care of. your child because your mother was. across the hall sometimes not being able. to get out of bed and sometimes in a in. a institution I mean so and you know. it's interesting because I and I think. this is true of many children I didn't. experience it as traumatic you know. these were my siblings experienced it as.

home this was my home my mother who I. loved. Um, sometimes there was food, sometimes. people forgot, you know. Um, sometimes, you know, I had a thirdderee burn on my. hand because you used to heat the bottle. of water in a pan. Um, and you know, the. water spilled because I was little. I. was I was still little, but I was really. little. And and something came through. me and people came around me, people who. nobody else could see. And although it.

didn't become a part of me, it didn't. become part of my prism, it came through. me and just guided me to survive and. help them survive. How long were you in. that house taking care of your siblings. with the with your parents across the. hall? Well, I mean, I don't know if I took. care of them as they got older. I think. everyone got independent very fast. Uh, so anyone who wasn't a baby pretty much. took care of themsel uh in different. dysfunctional ways. But we lived like.

that till I was 17 years old. And then. my father met someone and none of us had. a place to live anymore. Really? And um. because your mother died at 14. My. mother killed herself two days after my. 14th birthday. Mhm. And um and everyone. my youngest sister when he got remarried. was 12 I think. And we all found. ourselves pretty much without a place to. be. But there was a time I don't know I. can't remember how old you were where. you talk about in the prison there was a.

time when your mother had gone in the. hospital for trying to commit suicide. and you willed her back. You were. communicating with her when she was in a. in a coma. Yes. She was in a coma and it. was really the first time my intuition. was clear to me. Um I uh my father was. out of the house. The police had come. I. think I was 11. I never remember. I. always in the book I actually had to. trace it back. Um I was 10 or 11. My um. my mother had taken a massive overdose.

Uh. she was in the apartment next door. It. was locked. I didn't have a key. My. grandmother had come because they had. had a big fight. The police had come. My. father was out of the house. The other. kids went to camp. I of course never. left my mother's side. You know, that. was my job was to take care of my. mother. And I woke up and I thought to. myself, "She's dying." I went to the. phone to do what I'd learned how to do. by then, which was call the police. And. they knew me at the precinct. They were. like lovely. They would give me. lollipops on the street. They were like. really, you know. Um, and was it your.

grandmother in the house who said, "Don't make that call because then the. people will know our business." Yes, my. grandmother. My grandmother said, she. was furious and she said, "Don't do. that. You know, every all the neighbors. will know." And I looked at her and I. didn't even realize this consciously. I. said, "Grandma, the neighbors know. The. neighbors already know." Yeah. I mean. like and and frankly it wasn't even. embarrassing to me. These were my. parents. This was my family. This was my. life. So I I called and they knock they. either knocked down I don't remember the. details. I either knocked down the door. or got the super one or the other to.

open it up and literally she had just. stopped breathing. And when they say. people are blue, she was blue. They took. her out on stretcher. She was blue. They. took her to Belleview. My grandmother. disappeared. Didn't even show up. I. followed on foot. It was right up First. Avenue from my house about 12 blocks. Sat in the emergency room in Mittens for. days. And the staff would always say, "Who's your adult?" And I would say, "Oh, my mom's here with me." But tell us. about you willing your mother back. You.

could feel your mother was dying. I. could. So, and you were speaking to her. while she was in the coma all the time. And we had always telepathically spoken. to each other. And I didn't think this. was weird at all. So they finally call. the chaplain. and I said and I was very you know. you're strong when you're a when you're. a survivor and I said where where is my. mother? Why does she have a hole in her. throat? You know why is this machine. doing this? What's the beeping sound?

And he was he was like who let you into. intensive care because you're not. allowed in at that age. And I said. nobody said well how do you know that? Who told you? And I said I see it here. which for me I thought everyone saw it. there. I I didn't realize I was really. different in any way. So you prefer to. be called an intuitive rather than a. psychic. What is the difference in your. point of view? I think the word psychic. magicalizes a very useful, verifiable, simple human ability that is lifesaving.

And when you mystify something, it's. great business. Spirituality is a. billion-dollar industry. It's not great. for people. Everybody has this ability. A tiny bit of information, a tiny change. can change your entire life. And it's so. important to engage in that change. And. you can't find it inside of you. That's. the great myth. If you could, if you had. the answer, you would have answered the. question. It's outside of you. It's in.

community. It's in self-help. It's in. what you did for me the first time Dei. dragged me 30 years ago out of my very. isolated comfort zone and said you're. going to do this show and I didn't own a. TV at the time. I mean this was. completely out of my realm. I really. want to tell that story. Go ahead. So I. had written my my first book which I was. practical intuition practical intuition. which I was very in conflict about. because I had been a test subject for a. lot of research on instt intuition. So.

in the early 80s, universities probably. military funded were very interested on. extrensory perception. So the way that. the human mind can travel into another. person in time in space go into the. future. They were interested in how the. mind works and also how healing works, how focusing on something physical can. change it. It started in Italy. It. started with a man named Bruno Del Roso. and he uh gathered a whole bunch of. other people and then world got word got.

around and I was kind of passed around. because I was in my early 20s and didn't. really have a life unlike the you could. locate things. They could give you. coordinates. You could I could predict. things. I actually predicted. many things in his life that came to. pass. And the problem with prediction is. you don't know you're right till it. happens. But for me, I didn't realize. that other people didn't do this. I. thought everybody experienced it. You. know, when you're 20, you think everyone. experiences life the way you do. So, the.

bottom line is you were always guided by. this instinctual. feeling and that instinctual feeling, that intuition allowed you to save. yourself in a family. Yes. And it's so. interesting. I I I really appreciate. what you say in the book. One of the. things I'd underlined was when you say. our pathology can lead to our potential. a potential. Our pathology can lead to. our potential. And it's so interesting. and those of you who are listening and.

watching us right now, you if you've. been successful in your family or. haven't been successful in your family, you're the one who was successful and. other people were not or the opposite. It's so interesting how people raised in. the same environment under the same. circumstances, some can make it and some. cannot. Why is that? Well, I think, you. know, I because they learned how to open. the prison and others did not. I think. that um part of its birth order, part of. it is, you know, my parents got sicker.

You, you know, first birth orders often. the ones who survive. Yeah. But also it. is the the way your brain is structured. It's the luck of the draw. My brain was. not structured. I could probably walk. into a wall and not notice it, but my. brain was structured to get if I had a. question, the answer came through me. And and does that mean you have a. special gift that the rest of us do not? It doesn't mean I have a special gift. It means that my pathology is that my.

brain is not good in the moment. I can't. remember things. Um. but it does it can get that the. universal knowledge that most people. don't you are more attuned to your sixth. sense than most of us are. I am not. attuned to my physical senses but they. move around in time and space. So I have. to really work hard to enjoy the. pleasure of being in this interview with. you and you know seeing you after all. this time but in a second if you asked.

me a question my attention would go. there no matter where it was in time or. who it was about and I'd be able to get. all of this information. It didn't help. me in life. I mean my gra my brother. who's dead graduated from Harvard and. Stanford and UVA all with degrees. I. mean, he was the most brilliant math. student at Stivver, a school we all went. to that's math and science. But but he. he wasn't able to move out of his. reality. And I think that that's true of.

many of us. Um some of it really is um. the pathology being my potential. The. fact that I can be not present. I don't. have a solid prism in the moment, a. solid eye. But but I can get any. information I need is is is a gift. Everyone has some of this. And you know. what really helps it is when we're in. communities, when we bump up against. each other. Yeah. What De did for me in. dragging me literally, she dragged me to.

your show and you you aren't going to. remember this, but I was shaking like a. leaf. And what you what you didn't know. was I was in the middle of a terrible. custody battle with no skills because I. was I had been 16 when I met my husband. So I was shaking like a leaf and you and. me body heat sandwiched me and you went. out on stage. I don't even know if I. said a word. You and me were a light in. my prism. And that is why kindness is so.

important. That's why community is so. important. we bump up against each other. and even if it's a hard bump at least it. shatters for a moment our old paradigm. and if your old paradigm isn't working. for you it's important to bump up into. something new or you don't change you do. the same thing over and over and over. again you were my change and that book. first time book became a bestseller. allowed me to pay for my uh custody. battle of my beautiful 30 year.

three-year-old done, you know, allowed. me to buy back my home, you know, really, you know, and to have a voice in. the world and be able to offer something. to others. I would say some significant. things happened after that. As I said, we met on the Oprah show. Dei was a. guest and she introduced you and Dei is. joining us today. Uh, people still talk. to me about that show. Hello. She love, by the way, I don't know if you've had. this experience of her. Yes. But you. will be, you know, with a face mask in.

bed during a stomach virus and she still. insists on FaceTime. I believe in it. Hi ladies. I'm just. sitting here with wrapped attention. I'm. listening and enjoying your. conversation. So, thank you foring me to. join. I want to know how meeting Laura. uh changed your life to me. Well, first I'll just say, you know, as. a kid who moved around a lot, I didn't.

have a lot of anchor. Like when people. say, "Oh, I've been friends since. elementary school." I didn't have that. And you know, you you guys have been. talking about, you know, the connection. people make. Well, you know, I think. Laura and I as we got to know each. other, we both realized that we had. parents who died by suicide. Um that we. were motherless daughters and in our. forging of a of a friendship, I think.

that we were creating an extension of. family. We were sharing in, you know, um. the growth of our family, the ups and. downs of relationships. I want to know. though what knowing her has taught you. about tuning in and trusting your own. intuition. I I mean I think that that was one of. the things that first of all moved me so. much in practical intuition is that you. know Laura has a very targeted gift. which is why she does so well in with.

these big corporations with really high. stakes. But where her real heart and. soul lies is actually in helping others. to develop their own to empower them um. to connect deeper with themselves and. their own ability. And I think a lot of. you know what's emerged for me is really. that idea. Laura said to me long ago, you know, when you take your intuition, which in fact we do have, we may not.

have it to the level that Laura has, but. we do all have it, and we put that. against fact and logic, we will have our. strongest, you know, um, answer the the. and so I feel like that that a lot of. times, especially now, it's really it's. taking what my own gut, my own intuition. is, and sometimes. and being able to check that with. someone else almost being able to. exercise it like a muscle. It really is.

like a muscle. I really have to um you. know and in the early days when my kids. were small we used to play intuition. games. sometimes over football which of course. I didn't know who any player was. I only. played based on the games colors. Who's. the team? What's the colors? So because. I had no stake in it. so that I could. then see how accurate I was. And Laura. does a lot of that work with her.

students. And that was a lot of kind of. the the the give and take. Well, have. you ever ignored Laura or your own. intuition and later regretted it? Because I asked that question because I. I am where I am in my life because I am. guided by that intuition and every. decision I ever made that brought me. progress or success came from my. intuition. I mean, I remember when I was. a young girl, the first first time I. heard it was when I was I remember.

hearing it. I was a young girl watching. my grandmother hang clothes on the line. and she had the clothes pins in her. mouth and it was cold and I could see. the breath and she said, "You better. watch me do this because one day you. going to have to learn to do this for. yourself." And in in I didn't know it. was called intuition. The voice inside. me said, "No, you won't." The voice. inside me said, "No, you won't." And it. was so strong that I started to listen. to that thing, that voice. And that.

voice has guided me. That voice guided. me to Chicago. When everybody else said. I would fail by going to Chicago, that. voice said, "No, you won't." And so the. only time I have ever been unsuccessful. in my life is when I did not listen to. that voice. I I feel the same way. And I. think the only time. that I haven't listened to my intuition. really speaks to what Laura what the. prism is all about which is when I.

didn't value myself enough that that my. my own vessel was cluttered and thereby. I couldn't trust what I was getting. I. didn't have a enough sense of myself to. trust what was coming in. Yeah. And I. think, you know, I'm so grateful that. I've had the opportunity to work with. mentors, work with people, work with. Laura. And for those who don't, I feel.

like having this road map that allows. you to kind of get in there because, you. know, once your container is clear, once. you've, you know, untethered from those. traumas that are clouding your. perception, the clarity that comes. through, it it it. becomes so it's like almost things move. with just absolute ease and grace. Yes. It means you're literally in the flow of. life. Don't you feel like it's like.

you're in the stream of life, you're in. the flow of life rather than struggling. against the tide of your life? 100%. It's like that if if you're if you're. working like if I've ever been working. on something and and it's like putting a. square peg in a round hole where it's. just not it's not about not working hard. because working hard feels great. Yeah. But it's when something then it's like. the signs are saying to you maybe this. isn't where you're meant to be because.

you're out of alignment. Yeah. Yeah. But. I also think that one of the ways that. you're such a good example of the prism. is that when when you haven't been doing. one thing, you've been doing another. You haven't neglected the prism of your. life and your being, all of the. different parts. So, because you're. public and I know you very intimately, sometimes publicly they'll think, "Oh, what's she doing? Where'd she go? It's. been a while." But I know you're doing a.

million things you wanted to do, you. needed to do, you had to show up for for. other people. And and I think that that. is such an important part of the prism. and part of the things that people don't. see in celebrity. They see like when a. magazine covers you or a movie comes. out, but they don't see how much work. and how much achievement you do and have. done in so many other parts of your. life, including a New York Times. bestseller. Well, well, New York Times. bestseller is one thing, but may I say. this, I say this every time I encounter. Dei.

Dei changed the way the world saw. pregnant women and I don't even what. year was that Annie Liwood's coming? Let's see. 9091. It before 1991, y'all, all of you who. are watching, who are younger or. listening to us, women wore maternity. clothes. There were like you would cover. up your pregnancy. You were not allowed. to not you didn't feel like there was a. still sense of there was still a kind of. a a shroud of shame that you had had.

sex. Yes. Yes. Yes. I always I always. said it used to be like you were. celebrated when you let everyone know. that you were going to have a baby and. you were celebrated once the baby. arrived. But there was a point in that. and and as your as your body grew that. you were then supposed to cover up and. if you think about it like going way. back to the 50s and literally up in. really I would say until the the.

beginning of the '9s that they had these. like Peter Pan collars. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. You're like trying to portray. virginity. Yes. Yes. So tell me what. caused you to instinctively know that. that was the right decision to make. because at the time it was a gasping, bold, bodacious move that you're on the. cover of Vanity Fair with your entire. belly out. I think it goes back to what you were. saying about that moment with your.

grandmother, which is in that moment it. was really about like for me life is all. about transformation and and growth and. that everything else is in service to. that. And so for me it was a moment of. really wanting to. just authentically express how I was. feeling as a as a pregnant woman. Wow. that was that I didn't understand why it. was supposed to be hidden or not.

celebrated or and so um it's not like I. set out to go I'm making a big feminist. statement or it was really about my own. I think it was about trying to claim. more of myself because as I've shared. and as Lauren knows you know I didn't. come from having a a a lot of me, you. know. So, everything was in trying to. find that and then express it as. genuinely as I possibly could. And, you.

know, it's like it came in and you know, when we did the photo, by the way, it. was done for me. It was not for the. magazine. Really, that was for my. family. Annie had photographed me my. first pregnancy and we were grabbing it. at the very end of the shoot. And so when they called me two weeks. later and I had said when we were. shooting, boy, wouldn't it be amazing if. they if they had the courage to do this. and and she called me two weeks later.

saying, "Hey, would I how would I feel?". And it it you know, it just it felt. right. I It's not like it's like some. when the intuition comes in, it just. touches your knowing. You don't have to. believe it. You don't have to try to. make yourself get it. It's just there. You know it. Yes. So, you weren't going. through should I, should I not, should. I, I don't know, could I? What are. people going to think? What? That's. because you're right. When the intuition. is right, you know it. You know it. You. know it. Well, I you know, again, I say.

you revolutionize that. And I don't I. don't know if you know, younger people. understand that you that it all started. with you in that cover. So, we have you. to thank for that. Well, I'm grateful. Like it's like one of those moments. where I'm grateful and and the gift of. what it gave me, the of how it enriched. me by kind of taking ownership of kind. of who I was, what my experience was. And every time, by the way, now that I.

see someone do a picture where they're. celebrating Yes. their body, I like it. just fills me with such joy. Yes. Really, I feel so deeply humbled by it. You say that she's an intuitive for you. How is that? Well, you know, we have the. reason I write self-help is we don't see. what we don't see. We live in our blind. spots. Yes. And she will fracture my. prism. I mean, she is one bossy girl. She will say the same way she I didn't.

know what a talk show was when I went on. Oprah 30 years ago. I She will Did you. know she was that that that frightened. about being there? I mean, I have seen. Laura grow tremendously. When we first. met, for Laura to be out in the world. was very difficult. Like, like to be out. was, you know, it it's almost like. imagining like what it would be like for. us to go out with our skin off. ah like. navigating so much information, so much.

you know energy that was kind of coming. and so getting her out of the house uh. you know getting her out into the world. was not an easy task. Um, and so and so. to have this book and I think what. motivated her is that she really wanted. to share this message of her book and um. and you know and so no honey I wrote the. book in the comfort of my bed. What. motivated me is you showed up at my door.

and put me on a plane and took me to. Chicago and got makeup on me and you. introduced me to this fabulous woman and. you guys literally tag teamed me and it. was it was amazing. But you knew that I. I was going to not just wither but that. I was not going to get my message out. And also to be honest, I was going to. lose my son if I didn't make a huge. amount of money to be able to fight for. his safety. You knew you you're you knew.

that intuitively. And so you made me do. what I didn't have the vision to do for. myself and made me is I'm not using that. euphemistically. She literally made me. Well, you knew that she was pregnant. with her second child before she did. And see, I have no memory. part of my. ADHD. She has me said, Oprah, so I was. working on a film and I was a and you. know, I was asking her some questions. and um and she said she just stopped in.

her tracks and she said, "If you don't want to get pregnant, you. better be really careful because I see. this coming." And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's off in Italy shooting a. movie.". Bruce was not. And then literally a. month later, guess who? But it was a. shock. It was I It was not I wasn't 100%. expecting that, but it definitely 100%. came true. Thank you so much. Thank you, Dei. Thank you. I always love talking.

with you. So, let's talk about um the. ego. You've learned that it's possible. to actually change our ego. Yes. Our ego. is our structure. So our ego starts at. conception with our genetics and our. inutero experience and you're locked and. loaded by age seven. And your ego is. anything that says I I want I love I. hate I choose I direct. Yeah. So that.

structure that really is you but also. what how you create your life you can. change that from the moment it's set and. it is set at age seven. And that's. developmental psychology. I didn't come. up with that but working with tens of. thousands of students I have observed. that that is true. Sometimes. we bump up against people and. experiences that impact us in a way that. causes change like me dragging me on.

your show. Um and and sometimes we are. forced to look for it because. something's missing in our lives. Because if your ego was properly formed, and that is true of some people, then. you're resilient and you're adaptive. It. doesn't mean bad things don't happen, but it means you bounce back because the. parts of self know how to use what's. around you. If it wasn't properly formed. by age seven, then you need something.

outside of yourself to guide you. But. you, the good news is not only can you. choose, but because we are intricate. systems within another intricate system. of our world and relationships, a tiny. little change, and I always use the red. dress example since I wrote that article. for you, just even wearing a color you. never wear, a tiny little change changes. the world's response to you and you. change. Change is much easier than we. think. So, when we shared on the Oprah.

podcast Instagram page that Laura would. be here, we were flooded with questions. for her. No surprise there. Sabah is the. mother of an 8-year-old daughter joining. us from outside Chicago. Hi, Sabah. What. is happening with you? Can you tell us? Hi, Oprah. Hi, Laura. Thank you both for. allowing me the space to share my story. and for talking with me. Um, my partner. and I have been together for 10 years. and we have a child together. Um, and I've done a lot of inner healing.

work like what you were a little bit. talking about before recently over the. past few years. And so I'm a little. torn. Um, uh, for years I've carried the. emotional weight and the financial. responsibility. And I encouraged my partner to go back. to school and to grow and meet me. Um, and to his credit, he has. in this past. year, he has gone back to school and. he's also stepped up um and contributed.

financially more than he ever has. Um. but the truth is it came after years of. like waiting, hoping and asking. And. although I celebrate all these things, um I also feel emotionally drained. Um. and this isn't about him being enough or. not. It's it's not. But I do feel like. we're growing in two separate. directions. And so my question for Miss. Laura Day is how do I distinguish.

between. intuitive truth and fear when. considering to uh stay in hope for. growth or to lovingly let go and create. a new chapter for myself and my child? Before I speak, I want to say this is. one intuitive's perception and you. should never give your power away to. anybody. One of the ways I use the prism is I. look at what is this really about? And. my sense is that what this is really.

about is that you want a passion, a. creativity. You want the reward for your. hard work. and that it is really okay. and sometimes very healing to be. lovingly done and done because I see. that at the second the second ego center. right below your navl is nourishment. creativity and abundance and I think.

that you are tired of wearing navy blue. you want to wear some pink you want to. dance in the tutu you want to be alive. and that by the way is not only okay. it's healthy life sustaining ing and a. very good example for your child. I I. don't think the issue is whether your. intuition intuition doesn't tell you. Intuition just gives you data. Your what. your what what you know. is that you're done. And now how can you.

be done in a way that's nourishing? You. don't have to sit in your grief. Let's. make this into a goal, which is what the. prism asks you to do. Sitting in your. grief just gives you more grief. What is. the goal? You clearly value this person. You value your family. You value this. relationship. You value also the support. to be able to be a go-getter in the. world. Like there are things also if you. think of them and this I never do in. public. If you think of them, there are. things you value that you are getting.

So what I would do is switch the target. to should I stay or should I go to. how do we evolve this relationship in a. way that's supportive for this family. we've put so much work into and I would. do the second ego center and the second. ego center is about the the one of the. healings for the second ego center which. will build abundance and build your. creativity your ability to take what you. have and make what you want which is.

what you want to do is pleasure. My suggestion to you is in everything. including your interaction with this. person, your daughter, your whatever, get out of that paradigm, that thought. paradigm, where is the pleasure, go. toward the pleasure, healthy pleasure, you know, uh go toward the pleasure, but. also embrace that. you've already when I sense you. intuitively, you are you love this person, you love.

your family, you care, but you have made. this choice. So, don't keep yourself. stuck and you don't have to do. everything tomorrow. I I sense you have. a partner who's willing to work with. you. They just don't want to be cast. into the snow. So, you know, you'll work. together and there'll be bumps and I. think he needs to find his ego center. and he needs to find that for himself. And it shouldn't be attached to what you. need from him because actually you don't. need any of that. It should be attached.

to who he wants to be or doesn't want to. be. So separate that out. You cannot be. in relationship if you're merged. Right. So a different relationship but in. unmerging. Yeah. How do you evolve this. relationship? That's how does this sit. with you Sabah? It just it's it's incredible like just. hearing Laura's story and like I just. even after hearing her story and how she. read me, it feels like she knew what I.

already knew. deep inside and I just. want to take that action. Um, and the. creativity part just speaks volumes. because I have kind of put myself in a. box um, for a very long time. But you. know what? Your box has not been a. mistake. Your box has been lifesaving. Yeah. Thank you so much. I really. appreciate it. Oh, you know what I. wanted to say too, just in reading about. your story, I think you've been stuck in.

the guilt of the shared history. The shared history and hard to release. that in a way that allows you to do. exactly what Laura said. But you should. see the way your face lit up when she. said it. You knew it was the truth when. she said it. When she said the question. isn't, you know, whether or not you go. or stay because you already know that. you are done. You already know that. you're done. Look at you. You You know. it. You already know that you're done. with the old paradigm, but not with the.

new one. Yes. You And that's So, how do. you evolve this relationship into. something that is great for you, your. daughter, and for him? That is the. question. How do you all evolve? Not on. you, girl. Not on you. How do you all. You are on you. Your daughter's on you. He's on him. And I think he I think. he'll rise to that challenge. Don't. tolerate anger. That's what a therapist. is for. You deal with your stuff. elsewhere. You don't bring it under your. roof. Okay. Right. Thank you, Sabah.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Laura. That was great. That was great. I could. feel that. I could feel that that was. true. Alex is a recent Harvard graduate, but feels like she's going in the wrong. direction. Hi, Alex. Tell us your story. Hi, Opra and Laura. Thank you so much. for having me. Um, yes, so I graduated. from Harvard last May. Um, I'm currently. an investment banking analyst and I'm. wrapping up my first year of a two-year. program. Um, prior to finance, my. background was actually mostly in. writing and reporting and I studied. humanities at school. So, I mostly.

worked with that side of my brain. And. the reason I actually went into this job. was exactly to for that to push myself. and to try to use that other side of my. brain and build a new skill set. Um, and. I do feel really good about my initial. decision to to come here and I actually. think I followed Whispers to get here in. the first place. Um, but I recently, now. that I've kind of adjusted to the role, I started to feel um, yeah, what could. only be described as just a strong itch. um, just to kind of switch gears and, um, perhaps do something more social,

creative, and missiondriven, you know, more connected with my strengths and. passions. Um, and I I do use the word. whispers, intuition interchangeably, um, language I of course got from you, Oprah. And as the whispers kind of get. louder and louder, I'm now really paying. attention to them. And my questions are. more now the what and the when. Uh what. to how how to kind of look at what I. should be doing next and you know how to. look at timing. And I've been seeking. and honestly praying for clarity. Um so. I'm just really grateful to be here. today.

So um. again um this is one intuitive's. experience. Never give your power away. Um, when I look at your prism, I go. right to your first ego center, the base. of your spine. That is really I think of. it as welcome Earthling. You are home. And the what you get from it is power, but it references your structure. My sense is that you've kind of never.

felt you were home. You you have you you. have so much drive and knowing and. excitement that it even with people you. you've loved and who've loved you, there's always been a little bit of. standing out and feeling it wasn't okay. to stand out. Like you want to be in the. structure. You want to be, excuse this. phrase, a good girl, but there's so much. in you that's so vibrant and wants to.

explode it all. My sense is that this is a a great. impulse, a wrong interpretation. It's. very you are a structured person. As. much as you want to be free, the one you. know flying and dancing, you are a. structured person. And that structure. ultimately is going to give you the. power to do whatever you want. I also I. think to not finish what you start is a.

very bad example for your energy. I. think my gut is that finishing the. program, it'll be over before you know. it. Finishing the program is something. that's important to do. Do I see you. doing this as part of your future? No. Do I see you being like the agent who. went to law school but didn't become a. lawyer and using this as part of your. bare skin to make the rest of your life. easier in what you want to do next? Uh,

absolutely. For some reason, I see you. doing something very public. I see you I. see you like in the public eye, not as a. not as what you would think a Harvard. graduate does, but but having a very. public life. I think this gives you the. gravitas and the structure to feel then. like you can do that in a couple years. So that would be my gut. I think that if. you don't do this, you will find, you. know, I think a a lot of this there it's.

more than just this question. You're. questioning everything. You're. questioning relationship. You're. questioning what kind of family you. want. You're questioning where you want. to live. You questioning maybe your old. vision of certain people. There's a lot. of questioning you're doing. And by the. way, that's a sign of intelligence and. courage. Go you. I would do the first. ego center which is all about am I in. the right place with the right people. which not should I change the program. but literally in where you are right.

now. How do you finish your program in a. way that edifies you that makes you feel. at home? How do you really use your. power in different situations that are. right in front of you? And how do you. also use your discipline to work on what. you think might be this dream or might. be that dream? I wrote every book except. for this one in one hour a day before my. son woke up. You know, anything you want. to do, you don't have to throw the baby. out with a bath water to do it. This.

will be helpful to you in the future, but also changing it brings up a whole. host of problems you don't need to deal. with. Is that helpful? Yeah, I know. That's that's fascinating. Thank you so much. I really appreciate. that advice, especially what you said. about uh finding home. I think one more. thing. I think someone a couple years. ago who you really cared about and felt. very connected to laid a judgment on you. that tarnished a little bit all the. things that are strong and fabul that.

you're warrior. You. warriors are sexy. Warriors are. beautiful. Warriors are fabulous. And. people's judgments are just people's. judgments. Thank you so much. Wow, that was. fascinating. Fascinating, Laura Day. Thank you, Alex. Thank you so. much. Thank you so much. Crystal told us. she's at a crossroads in her life. Crystal, what's going on? Yeah. Thank. you, Oprah. Hi, Laura. Hi. So, I guess. first, let me start with some context. I.

grew up in a really small town in. Mississippi, one stoplight, had amazing, supportive What is the name of the town? What's the town? Um, Collinsville, Mississippi, right outside of Meridian. Oh, I know where that is. And so, grew. up with parents who are the byproduct of. the deep south and all that comes with. that. They worked one job their entire. life, like my dad who worked at a plant. to be able to provide for my sister and. I. And I was the first daughter. I was. the first granddaughter. And so, first. everything. And so, they were really, really supportive, but also very.

protective. And so this manifested like. when I was getting ready to go to. college, I proudly told my family I was. going to major in business finance. And. I remember my grandmother sternly. saying,"Well, if you major in business, make sure you get your teaching. certificate because schools will always. need teachers and you'll always have a. job and make sure you keep playing the. piano because churches always need organ. players." And then when I graduated, started in corporate America, I I was. accepted into business school four years.

later, excited to go to Duke. called my. parents and they were like, "Are you. sure about that? You got a good job. Don't you leave that good paying job. with benefits." And so they were really. loving, but they were safe and they. prioritized practical over purpose. And. so now 15 years later into my career, I. feel like I'm at this inflection point. where I can see where I've laid down my. passions like girls education and. leadership in the South. And on top of. that, I am turning 40 this year. And if.

I'm honest, I'm a little scared because. I see two paths. I see the the safe. path, prioritizing financial security. and retirement. And I see the go for. gusto path. And I just really in this. next season of my life want to walk in. purpose and what God has for me. And so. my question is how do I honor my parents. and grandparents who have um who have. now passed but I am trying to develop my. deep sense of intuition because I've.

lost my voice. I can't hear it anymore. And she took you took my line away. You. know yourself so I silence the noise. Yeah. You you know yourself so much. better than you think. First of all 40 I. could have birthed you twice. that that. you so I again I I don't hear the. stories because of the way I process but. I looked at you in my way and I thought. this isn't a job this isn't a decision. about path or job or what this is a.

decision and you named it you're so. intuitive trust yourself and I don't. believe in trust but you have proof now. I'm about to give it to you this is a. fifth ego center issue the issue of. voice conversation and leadership. So the way you know we often foil. ourselves by decisions. The I think part of the problem and I. want to take this apart for you. Part of. the problem is on the job you don't. actually feel you have an authentic.

voice on the job. You have a voice. You. are able to accomplish things. You're. effective. But there is a way that you've adapted. your voice, frankly, in a way you didn't. have to or you don't have to anymore. that that that. doesn't sit right with you. And I think. that this comes up as an issue. This. came up as an issue in an interaction. I. I'm not good with time, but I think. about five or four, five, six months.

ago, this came up as an issue which has. galvanized this for you. Um, before I address your situation, I want. to say the first thing you need to do. just to heal at the Fifth Ego Center is. you need to find a way to change the. conversation. We don't leave those. conversations. We're women. We're. warriors. We change them. And you let a. conversation go, which was not okay, should not be let go. And you actually.

can change it. So, if you're going to. take the risk, you take the risk first. by changing that conversation. I think. it is. So that's step one. Okay. You and. you're going to do you're going to do. the fifth ego center in the book. Step. two, fifth ego center still. is I agree with you that you are ready. to embrace leadership with people that. you want to be in conversation with. And. you know what's lovely about you is you. are a leader and a teacher. You want to.

be in conversation with everyone. But. then when people don't converse in a. appropriate way or respectful way and. you are unable to use your leadership. and your voice to correct that that's I. mean that's woo I can feel that issue. It's like a porcupine in my hands. So my. suggestion is that you a address that. conversation address the other. suggestions in the fifth ego center. Just pick one. And I always say, pick.

the one that doesn't res that makes you. laugh. It's like, oh, really? That. because that's outside of the box of. your prism that doesn't change, right? That one that you ridicule as long as. it's safe. That's the one to do. I also. think though, and I think you've already. begun to do this, you should embrace. leadership more, both by addressing this. situation and take that risk. And if it. blows up, it blows up. and you've got. your answer right but but also by.

because I do see ultimately you will be. a leader but don't be a leader by giving. up your power you know be a leader. within your power so I bet you you can. address this you can keep what you're. doing you can be head believe me you're. a head hunter's dream head hunters dream. I would actually get in touch with head. hunters before you address them we know. what I'm talking about, right? Um, before you address that, I would get in.

touch with the head hunter. But I think. you should also notice in every place in. your life, including in like making. dinner, where can you exercise your. leadership? Because it will when you. have that energy, it's interesting how. those opportunities come to you. It's a. kind of active telepathy in the world. It's what people call manifestation. I. hate that word because it's a very. magicy word, but you make things happen. by being what it is you're doing. So. that's my suggestion. Thank you. Thank.

you. I just wanted to share with you. too. I come from a similar family, raised in Mississippi, raised in. Nashville, raised in Milwaukee by a. single mother and for my whole life uh. even. in in in Baltimore when I was a young. reporter in Baltimore making 22 then. 25,000. then $50,000 a year. My father said, "Girl, don't you ever give up that job. Don't you give up that job." Cuz. nobody's ever got you. Nobody's ever. going to pay you $50,000 a year, you.

know, for for for going to a job and you. work working, you know, a week and you. you get paid $50,000 a year. Don't. So, if I had listened to that voice, his. voice, not my own. If id continued to. listen to his voice and not my own, I. never would have taken the leap to. Chicago. So what I know is that our. parents, our grandparents coming from. lack and a. a desire for a life that they couldn't.

even imagine that you're living right. now. They couldn't even imagine the life. that you're living right now. They laid. the foundation for your dreams and for. you to soar. But they're words that are. still ringing in your head. That that's. their words. That's not your life. That's why when my grandmother said, "You better watch me cuz one day you're. going to learn to do this." I knew I. felt instinctively, "That's your life, Grandma. That's not going to be my. life." And so being able to listen to. the voice inside yourself that allows. you to live you their life and you by.

living your life and being the best and. greatest and fulfilling your potential, you you have served them. You have. honored them. You have done that. Amen. you have well this is a lot I um this. entire episode both of you talking about. your grandmothers. um there and and Laura the exact. conversation you're talking about five. months ago I know exactly what you're. referring to and helping me find my. voice in leadership so this is this has.

been an entire conversation of ahas and. oo this it it resonates very deeply we. don't know what y'all are talking about. but that's okay but you know the other. okay we're in. I don't know what she's talking about 5. months ago We are private. But one of. the other things I want to tell you is. interpersonally. if you deal with voice there, you'll. also be able to deal with voice in that. other situation which will take you to. your fourth ego center of value and. being valued and having dignity.

because you do know how to deal with. grief. And it's often it's interesting. when we deal with that grief how. sometimes what we're grieving comes back. to us. But the valuing ourself is really. important. And I think the I agree with. you Oprah. The best way to honor all. those people in your history is to live. your life. Is to live your life. Live. your life. Thank you. Thank you. Thank. you. Thank you, Laura. So Laura, what is.

one step that anybody can take today to. use their intuition in order to change. the course of their life? I you know the. most important step is such a simple one. which is have goals. I start the prism. by asking you to just define three. goals. Yeah. And then to document you. know we live in this mishmash like a. stew that's been on the pot too long and. you can't tell the carrots from the. beef. Mhm. You It's really important to. notice that out of the blue things all. of a sudden you see the same poster 20.

times. What is it actually saying? Um. the the person pops into your head that. you haven't thought about in 10 years. Do something about it. It's not about. thinking differently, knowing yourself. differently. It's about doing one little. thing differently and it can change your. entire life. A miracle does take a. moment. H I love that. And I also love the. pathology is your potential. And it.

really is. I make my my son laughs at. me. Yeah. Because he says, "Listen, ma, you make a great living doing something. half the world doesn't believe in from. your bed that you don't like to leave.". Like that's a good life. That's a good. life. I was going to ask, what's the. definition of a good life, do you think? What is the definition of a life. well-lived? I think it's different for. every single person. Um, it is being. separate, being a real eye because we. are spirit. Spirit is regressive. We are.

one. It's much harder to be a person, a. person, and to then find your place. where you both where the world has needs. what you want and you need what you're. given. So find your place in the world. That wonderful that wonderful exchange. Thank you, Laura Day. The book is called. Prism: Seven Steps to Heal Your Past and. Transform Your Future. It's available. anywhere you buy books. A heartfelt.

thanks to you for spending time with us. here. I hope you'll be inspired to pay. close attention to that voice inside. you. And I'll talk to you again next. week. Go well. You can subscribe to the. Over Podcast on YouTube and follow us on. Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you. listen. I'll see you next week. Thanks. everybody.