Oprah and Ina Garten Share the Secrets to a Successful Life

everybody thanks for being with us on. the Oprah podcast around this time of. year there's nothing I love more than. being comfy and cozy at home maybe with. something delicious bubbling on the. stove I hope that all of you are. surrounded by those you love or maybe. getting some much needed alone time to. decompress that feels just as good too. when I think of my guest today I think. of comfort and warmth just the recipe we. need right now she is one of the most.

beloved Cooks in the world opra AA how. are you I'm so good and so so nice to. see you so nice to see you the Barefoot. Contessa Miss AA Garten and I go way. back I had a column in your magazine yes. which was so much fun today we're. talking about the resilience that has. defined her journey if you're really. true to who you are if you believe in it. so fiercely um somebody out there is. going to believe it's it's true she has.

a profound truth about how to turn your. pain into Power certainly people have. done worse childhoods than I did um but. I wanted them to know that you can make. a decision with enormous determination. and change your life AA is a woman ahead. of her time she's here to remind us how. we too can build the life of our dreams. if you do what you love if you love it. you'll be really good at it three stores. 13 best-selling cookbooks six iies three.

James Beard Awards and her hugely. popular TV shows on the Food Network. smell the garlic and the tomato have. made AA Garden a true household name oh. that looks fabulous isn't that great. it's a whole dinner in one dish dinner. sered dinner serve thank. you so everybody thanks for joining us. on this podcast I have to tell you I am. just thrilled to be joined by a living. legend the be fooot contesta herself.

Miss AA Garden AA so good to be with you. from you Oprah that's unbelievable thank. you I'm good I've done everything I need. to do in my life now thank you oh it's. so true AA you just you are all those. things you're an icon you're so beloved. and you feel like a part of our lives. are you zooming in from the your famous. kitchen we love so much I'm in the. kitchen and samton exactly yes that's. what I call the barn but a few people. have said Barn isn't exactly what comes.

to mind when they say it no that's some. kind of special Barn thank you for. actually doing it there it's like oh I. know this kitchen we know the kitchen so. your Memoir AA be ready when the luck. happens is a New York Times bestseller. so I appreciate you taking the time out. of all the things are you kidding I mean. it's just a thrill to talk to you yes. thank you so much how did you know you. were ready to tell this story I know. that on page 293 you right I spent so.

much time avoiding the painful periods. in my past especially my childhood that. I wondered if I'd be able to open those. doors and what would be behind them and. I have to say I've read a lot a lot a. lot of books read a lot of a lot of. Memoirs this is one of the best written. best um exposed vulnerable generous. gracious Memoirs I have ever read it's. just wonderful. just sit with that for a second thank.

you yes and I read a lot of them but. this just I know you do yes this just. feels like you did the work to make it. real you did the work to bring it home. and make it so relatable I have to say. it is so much work that I've I have not. done it I have not written a memoir yet. because it is so much work and I read. that you did research on your own life. to write this book you even went to Old. homes you lived in and you went through. 50 years of letters to and from your.

husband Jeffrey that we all adore so. much I you know I think I never really. made a decision to write it um I just. decided I would start and I was working. with a friend of mine whose name is. Deborah Davis and she's an amazing. researcher and she would interview me. and record what I was telling her the. stories I was telling her but she took. me back to places I'd been and asked me. about it and I recalled things I didn't.

remember but I think when I started I. said to her let's just start this I'm. really not sure it's going to be. interesting because it's you know it's. my life I've lived it I never look back. and I said at any point that I think. it's not interesting enough for people. to read then I want to just pull the. plug and she said fine let's just start. I think she knew it was going to be more. interesting than I thought but the. process of doing it changed how I feel. about my life it was just quite. extraordinary tell me how so um I.

thought well you and I are going to talk. about this I'm sure because I always. thought I'd been incredibly Lucky in my. life oh and I also thought I did this. and then I did that and I did something. else and I I figured it out but I don't. know how I did it and and when I had to. go back and look at the whole my whole. life I realized that connecting the. dots were was really easy I continue to. do the same thing over and over again I. kind of challenge myself it each time. but at the moment that I started doing a.

specialty food store I realized I had. already figured I taught myself how to. cook so I actually was ready yes when I. I didn't think I'd done the work but I I. actually had and so writing the book. made me realize that I was I I I was. prepared for each stage that I got to. well what you just said about connecting. the dots AA is something that's so. powerful because I believe that you know. a lot of people are looking for purpose. in their lives and most people think.

that it's some big thing that that. you're going to find out there somewhere. when really every day you're creating. purpose and if you look back on your. life and connect the dots of your life. that thread that connects the dot would. have been your purpose you know even. though you may have never defined it for. yourself there is a thread that connects. the dots of all of our lives and that is. so evident and be ready when the luck. happens I was so uh when I first heard.

that this Memoir was coming out I. thought hm that's an interesting title. coming from Ina Garden be ready when the. luck happens because I remember years. ago us having a discussion about you. remember yes about I I didn't remember. where it was I didn't remember that it. was The Matrix Awards but I remember. having a discussion and I didn't. remember slapping you but I did remember. having maybe was love tap it was a love.

tap I I I don't remember slapping you. but I do you were just like whoa wait a. minute you you make your own luck and I. was like yes no I've just been really. lucky because you were in my mind you. you in my mind you were already an. iconic figure this is back in 2010 this. a long time ago yeah and and and a. powerful woman and you were you know in. your speech in your acceptance speech. over and over again you mention luck and. luck and luck and luck and I come from. this Bel believe that luck is.

preparation meeting the moment of. opportunity so anytime I hear anybody. saying I was just lucky I was just lucky. unless you just fell upon on you know a. pile of money somewhere I think huh yes. so where did the title come from um the. title came from a very dear friend of. mine Rob Marshall who's the U Broadway. and movie director um was when he was on. Broadway when he I think he was 23 or 24. he was the dance Captain for Liza. Manelli show and Liza said to him be.

ready when the luck happens and he never. forgot it and what he she was saying is. do the work so when the luck happens. you're ready for it preparation and I. was almost done with a book I didn't. have a title I was just coming to terms. with the idea that I actually yes I'd. been lucky but I was ready when it. happened I'd done the work so that I was. ready when it happened and I I thought. oh my God that's what my life has been. about is getting ready so I'm there when. the luck happens and that's why so I I.

asked if I could use that as a um as a. title that's a great great perfect well. I think you know T titles really help. Define a story and I think that having. that title is what has caused you to be. yet again a number one bestseller. because just picking up the book with. that title you think wow I wonder what. this is about and then what you've. revealed in the pages I love in the. beginning where you say I was trapped in. a cycle of neglect and abuse my parents.

didn't believe in me or my potential but. they held me to impossibly high and. arbitrary standards nonetheless if my. father told me to do six things and I. accomplished only five there was hell to. pay and it's what's interesting to me. about that is even the trauma and the. challenges in our. lives they affect us and can be turned. into Power later on in our lives is that. what you experienced I that's why I told.

the story I know you have the same. experience it's um in in a different. format but but still we have the same. experience it's um I I I wanted people. not to know that I had terrible. childhood certainly people have had. worse childhoods than I did um but I. wanted them to know that you can you can. make a decision with enormous. determination and change your life and. not make that the definition of your. life and I just remember when I was 15 I. remember making that decision. I wasn't going to live like this that if.

I was dating somebody who so much has. raised his voice to me I was out of. there um that I I wanted to be with. somebody who was supportive and positive. and I wanted to surround myself myself. with you know people that were positive. yeah and what's so interesting about. your story is that you know I was raised. up you know in dire poverty and never. having enough and all that and if I were. looking at you from the outside I would. have thought yours is the perfect life.

and that's the family I want to belong. to and that's the way your mother and. father wanted it to seem and yet what is. so important I think in you sharing. these stories is that nothing is ever as. it. seems and and you know it's interesting. because when Jeffrey came I met Jeffrey. when I was 17 and he thought I had the. perfect family yes yes and he thought. you know my father was a doctor my. mother rants a real estate business um I. mean it all looked perfect we're very.

you know upper middle class we I went to. Great Schools and you know everything. looked great and yet it was as an when. the more I look back and I think as a. child I didn't understand that it was so. diff that it was so wrong I just thought. this is the way people grow up and I. think it took me until I was maybe 40 to. really sort out how stressful that. situation was and how wrong it was yeah. and you so it takes time and you've said. too.

uh you say many times in this book and. you show us first of all I love the. pictures too thanks for including the. pictures than you I love I love most. most Memoirs have the pictures in the. well yes in the middle and you have to. sort out where's that picture. from my my book designer Mary Sarah. Quinn and I decided we wanted it to be a. picture in the you know the beginning of. a chapter and a picture at the end of. the chapter and maybe even a recipe from. the story yes that's why it's so. beautiful you've said many times that uh. Jeffrey help you find your voice how.

so um Jeffrey never told me what to do. which was so the opposite of what my. upbringing was where I was told to do. how to do everything um he just made me. feel like he believed that I could do. anything and that. um we would talk stuff out and he would. say have you thought about this and if. you thought about that and and I and we. would have a conversation about things. so he just made me he right from the. beginning he would say to me do what you.

love if you love it you'll be really. good at it because he KN knows I have a. lot of enthusiasm and energy for things. he was so ahead of his time though I. mean nobody was saying that then nobody. was saying that in the 70s I mean when I. was you know in when we got married in. 1968 he said to me you need to do. something with your life otherwise you. won't be happy and it's funny the other. day when when I made number one on the. New York Times fella list he turned to. me he said you know you really need to. do something with your life.

just it just reminded me of where it. started it it was just great after all. these years he he just thought I was. very capable and I I would be happy if I. if my life was you know productive yeah. if I did things I love doing he was a. man ahead of his time and in 1978 you. were working uh writing nuclear energy. policies at the White House how crazy is. that how crazy is that you I.

know I think they left it to 25 year. olds I can't even understand it AA. Garden was writing energy policies okay. and then you see this ad Drew ad in the. New York. Times. and what about that ad struck you I have. no idea I think when I was working at. the White House actually the whole time. I was in Washington I was teaching. myself how to cook just cuz I thought it. was fun and I was buying old houses and. renovating them because I always thought.

it was fun and I you know I think my. work was serious but uh it wasn't really. fun and um so I did these other things I. always thought I'd either go into the. food business or I'd go into real estate. and I didn't know which one it was and. so then I saw this ad for specialty food. store for sale in a place I'd never SE. been before it was in West Hampton Beach. and I thought God that sounds like fun. and I went home and told Jeffrey about. it and I I said to him I really need to. do something fun I really you know my. job's just not fun. but you know what's so interesting to me.

you your mom didn't you weren't even. allowed in the kitchen and she didn't. like carbohydrates and only made you. know your first carbohydrate meal it was. when Jeffrey came. to when I married Jeffrey and I started. baking bread yes yes and so this is. great I can make anything I want it's. not like you grew up in a home where you. were learning to cook by with your mom. and your mom was teaching you different. recipes I think I was starving I was. starving for flavor I was starving for. fun I was starving for connection I was.

just starving and then Jeffrey came. along and he just encouraged my craziest. whims so you see this ad you see this ad. in the New York Times and you describe. the moment that you walked into the. doors of the Barefoot contestas standing. in that adorable little place you write. named after an Ava Gardner movie. surrounded by beautiful baked goods what. tell us what you felt when you stepped. into that well I I had driven Jeffrey.

and I had gotten in the car in. Washington and and driven I don't know. like 6 hours um to this small town in in. the Hamptons and it was April so it was. dead I mean there was nobody in town. there was there wasn't even a cat. walking down the middle of the street. and I I turned into this little store it. was like 400 square feet and they were. baking chocolate chip cookies and there. you know there were there were specialty. cheeses and there were smoked salmon and. they were there were dinners for sale.

and I just walked in and just inhaled. the fragrance of it the cookies baking. and the cheeses and and it just looked. like so much fun and it just looked so. pleasurable and I just walked in and I. thought oh this is where I want to be I. you know I want I want to come to work. in sneakers and and and an apron and and. um and bake cookies and if they sell. great if they don't sell we'll bake. something else and it's like a it was. seemed to me like a big puzzle to figure.

out and I love that you weren't afraid. at all of taking on something that you'd. never done before you weren't I remember. thinking at the time this is crazy I. like I don't know how to run a specially. I don't even know how to run a store i'. never had an employee before I didn't. know anything so I made a deal with the. owner that she would stay with me for a. month and teach me what I needed to know. and she was a great teacher um and I. remember thinking do I really want to do. this and Jeffrey said um if you if you.

do what you love if you love it you'll. be really good at it and I thought okay. I'm going to go for it and looking back. behind me at running you know writing. nuclear energy policy papers just that. wasn't an option anymore so I thought. this may not be where I end up but it's. I'm going to start the. process and you know who. knew who who know that's where we're you. certainly didn't know that a $20,000. investment would put you. times on the besteller list and that you.

would create this Empire from what did. you expect to happen it gave me a life. that was just so much fun surrounded. with people that I love to work with um. doing something I really care about um. taking care of people I mean in the. store we made dinner for them which was. taking care of them but but writing. cookbooks I feel like I'm giving people. the tools to make dinner for people. around them so they create a community. for themselves I love the fact that your. first catering uh opportunity was was a.

drug dealer and you didn't know that and. then after that you learn you so you. learn from your you learn from your. mistakes all right check out who your. customer. is I think a lot of women AA are. responding to your Revelation that in. the early days of Barefoot Contessa that. you had ask Jeffrey for a separation. what was going on well I think you. remember we we got married in 1968. and the 7s women are kind of sorting.

things out and when we got married it. was assumed that he would be the husband. and I would be the wife and I would make. dinner and he would do the finances and. we would have kind of prescribed roles. and I think those roles kind of annoyed. me when in the 70s um even though. Jeffrey thought you know thought of me. as an equal I just feel like I I don't. know we just had had roles that we were. playing and then when I bought the store. and I found I had my own business and I. had my own you know my own life um I.

found those rules really confining and. so I just said to him I just feel like I. need to be on my own for a little while. and he and he I mean as Jeffrey would he. said if you feel like you need to be on. your own you need to be on your own and. so we kind of took a break for about. four months and he was to the state. department he went on this big trip. around the world and um and after. afterwards at the end of the year we met. in Palm Springs and and um we just.

talked we just sat and talked about what. he wanted and what I wanted and and he. always has this great attitude let's. just figure out what each of us wants. and how we can do both of them it's. never about what he wants to do or what. I want to do how can we do both of them. wow sounds like the Perfect Mate sounds. like the per the best he's the best he. really is he should be a role model for. every every guy yeah I know you did a. book cooking for Jeffrey we should have. all of Jeffrey sayings we need jeffre. Jeffrey's philosophy really is so wise.

he is and so it's never his advice is. never um this will be good for me it's. his advice is always you know this is. this would be good for us at one point. you were working so hard you described. this in in in the book that you decided. to see a therapist and you say that it. was one of the most important decisions. you've ever made how did therapy help. you and why did you need it at that. time um I think I was working all the. time yeah and I wasn't having fun and um.

I remember going to her the first day. and I said I just I'm not having fun I. mean it's just I work all the time and. it's you know it's easy to get wrapped. up in that and these were the days and. it was true for us for a long time when. Jeffrey would leave on Monday and if he. was an investment banker he'd go to New. York or Zimbabwe or Costa Rica and or. when he was in the government he'd go to. um Washington on Monday and then come. back on Friday so the weekdays I pretty. much had on my own and um I would just.

work all the time and so I went to my. this therapist and I mean we did a lot. of really good work but the first day. she said to me what would be fun and I. was like I don't know I really don't. know maybe a convertible maybe a a. masseuse you know just I needed. something that wasn't work that would be. fun and she said go do it and so that. that that week I I I rented a um a red. Mustang convertible which was so much. fun and I had Muse who literally has.

been coming every single Sunday at 6:00. for 40 years wow is that amazing yes I. still have a convertible not the same. one but I have a convertible and it was. you know when I think back very often. when you can't you know when you're not. having fun you can't figure out what's. fun yes but I knew those two things. would be fun and they still are wow you. know I think this is a really important. lesson for um young women in particular. and I read where you fought like hell. you say to protect your image when you.

wrote your first book that's now a. classic the Barefoot Contessa cookbook. and the Publishers the Publishers were. trying to change you but you stuck to. your own vision and wouldn't let them. because I think they were trying to make. you like Martha Stewart or Martha does. it this way and all that what did you. learn through that. experience just trust your vision I. think the thing that works is um is if. you're really true to who you are if you.

believe in it so fiercely um somebody. out there is going to believe in it to. it's it's true it's not um I'm I'm going. to become this perky whatever it is. person that people will love just do. what you just who you are just put out. who you are and do the best job you can. possibly do and I think people trust. that they they they honor that they. believe in that and I I always see see. it as like I'm on a train and people are. trying to pull me off the train and I.

just keep it right on the tracks I just. um I if if I feel like I'm so sure what. I'm doing is right um I don't let people. pull me off my game does it not how do. you discern then the difference between. I feel that I am right and this is the. right vision and being able to take in. other information that could be helpful. to enhance your vision that's a really. good that's a really good question what. what I tend to do is I talk to everybody.

in the beginning and I get everybody's. point of view and I hear and we talk we. kind of build something together but at. the end of the day it's my job to choose. and once I've got all the information in. um and I love surrounding myself with. really creative smart people um once. I've got all the information in I know. exactly what the right thing to do is. you feel that way I feel exactly the. same way you take in all the information. you get everybody's ideas and then. instinctively you will yes and build yes.

absolutely and but instinctively you. know what's right AB and it's right for. you it may not be right for somebody. else that's right somebody may be able. to say something that adds onto. something that you were doing or change. your perspective I'm certainly always. always always open to that and what I. love about you too is that you. understand that one of the secrets to. success uh and I found this too is. treating your people well and I loved in. those early. days uh when everybody was working.

22-hour days so hard so hard they were. college kids yes I mean they weren't. even professionals I mean when they were. but they they were young yes and that. when when you would close at the end of. the summer that you'd have a big party. and celebrate them all yeah I would I I. think it's and it's really important to. me I love working with happy people and. you have to invest in that so yeah yes. it's you share a few lessons at the end. of the day I want to come to work to and. have fun yes you want the people work.

yeah you want to surround yourself with. happy people so you share a few lessons. that you've learned from I think your. Decades of barefoot business experiences. can you give us what are your top two. that you want our listeners and viewers. to. know um I think one of the things I. learned from writing the book and I. hadn't really thought about it before is. that I always. do what's in front of me today I do do. the best job I can possibly do on it and.

then at the end of the day I decide what. I'm going to do tomorrow I get. everything organized so that I can do it. tomorrow I don't have a long-term Vision. I and I don't have a goal I don't think. oh I want to get over there in in a year. um I don't have a fiveyear plan I never. I just do the best job I can do now and. then tomorrow I'm going to do the best. job I can do then and things happen. along the way and I think if you're up. if you're looking at your goals first of. all the goals are the wrong goals. because things happen along the way that.

you would never have imagined um like. television coming along I mean I would. never have imagined being on television. it just wouldn't have occurred to me and. it turned out to be a great thing so um. so I don't have those long-term goals. and um I think it leaves people it left. me at least to be to do a really good. job because I'm not busy looking around. I'm just doing a good job on what what I. have in front of me and it also leaves. me open to what things that might come.

along I love that too I never had a. five-year Vision plan either I never yes. I am just living that that is My. Philosophy you live this moment as. powerfully as you can and that leads you. to the next one and to the next one and. you do your best in every single. circumstance and it leads you to the. next one so no I never isn't that. interesting I never I never really. thought about it until I wrote the book. and actually I was talking to Stephen. coar and he said he has the same. philosophy so it's obviously working for. some people well it works for some. people and then you know there are other.

people like stemman has visions and. vision then yeah has all you know. operates from a very different kind of. strategic kind of driven uh force that I. that I never have been it doesn't work. for me you reference a quote that I. think I counted around five times in the. book it's something that Jeffrey had. said early on to you in your. relationship he said you never know your. good breaks from your bad ones isn't. that a great quote Oh that Jeffrey.

Jeffrey does it again he really is that. Jeffrey um I mean it really it really. means something bad happens and you. don't know whether it's bad it could. turn out to be the best thing that ever. happened that's right it opens to. something else opens to something else. that wouldn't have happened and it um. it's I mean in my show be my guest has. it's been really interesting um because. so many of the people who are guests um. have had something really horrible. happened to them and um and they didn't.

let it stop. them they they pushed right through it. and they figured it out and they kept. going and it was um their success. wouldn't have happened if that bad thing. hadn't happened that's right and it's. it's so interesting to me to see that. happen over and over and over again well. I have to say when you were able to take. everything that it I I believe that we. all do this and that the people who do. it the most powerfully end up being. successful is taking everything that has.

happened to you in your childhood the. good things and the bad things the. things that you wish for and didn't get. and the things that you did and using. that as a force in your life you know to. create the luck for yourself can you see. how you did that I I don't I think my. the force was that I was determined not. to recreate that yes and I think a lot. of people um say I'm not going to live. in that in that world I'm going to. create a different one and then they end.

up marrying somebody who's EXA like. their parents am I right about that. that's I think yes most people do. because it's comfortable I think the. thing I learned from it's comfortable. and familiar that's the reason why it. happens because it's so familiar yes um. I think I learned from a difficult. childhood when I was uncomfortable I. learned to sound strange but be. comfortable with being. uncomfortable and I um I kind of use. that to push myself to places that I you. know are not comfortable like starting a.

specially food store when I don't know. what I'm doing I I love the challenge I. love to I love to decide what I'm going. to do as opposed to somebody else. deciding it and then really challenging. myself to see if I can do it and every. time I think there's no way in hell that. this is going to work out but I'm going. to try doing it anyway and it always. turns out better than I thought which is. I don't know I I just keep doing it over. and over again so there must be. something there what I found so. interesting about you from the book is I. was surprised to learn that uh your.

hobbies and jobs and I think it was also. Jeffrey who encouraged you to try. different kinds of things including. those early years when you working at a. place called The Body Shop and you. thought it was a they were they were not. repairing cars yes no it turned out to. be a strip club I had no idea yes yes. yes but that job lasted a week yes but. you were an airplane pilot you worked in. a bookstore where you got fired you were. an analyst at NASDAQ back a secretary as. you say at a strip club uh and so you.

were just always open to trying new. things until you found the thing that. landed with you yeah I um my therapist. actually um described it as a lot of. people stand on the side of the pond. convincing themselves there's something. you know that pond is dangerous that. things bad things are in that pond but. you can't figure out what you want to do. until you jump into the pond and then. when you're in the pond you figure out. where the stream is where the stream is. carrying you along if you're knocking.

against the Riverbanks then then you're. you're not in the right stream but if. the stream is just carrying you along. that's the right stream for you and I. think that's why we have to try. different things it's not like I want to. be a lawyer I want to be a doctor you. just try different things and see which. one works and which one feels exciting. and that where you feel like you know. it's carrying you along and I think. that's what I've been able to find at. each point in my life and it's just been.

it's just been amazing what I also love. about the book is that it is a food. Adventure you share recipes and take us. into your creative process uh and I love. what you wrote on page I love this on. page 148 and when I read it that is true. you said one thing I learned and. continue to learn every day is that the. food we enjoy most connects to our. deepest memories of when we felt happy. comfortable and nurtured that is true so.

what what are yours what are those foods. for you well I I really created it since. then because I have none from my. childhood I mean nobody would say bred. chicken and canned vegetables that's. right peas and fish at your table I. recall yes exactly PE and. fish um I think that I probably was. always craving that and I think in a. funny way if um if when you're a child I. mean this wasn't me but you're forbidden. candy all you want is candy yes so I.

think since we were forbidden things. that were delicious and and um and felt. good you know if I ask my mother for. something you know for a cookie she. would just go oh just to eat an apple. she was always annoyed wow I was like. nobody thinks an apple is an appropriate. substitution for a cookie. yes um so I think I I as soon as I got. married I remember getting um Craig. clayborn's the New York Times cookbook. and I was making you know Hala I was. making you know mashed potatoes I was.

making um you know stews and chili and. things that were just. satisfying and um and I you know that's. I think one of the things in my books is. that my first requirement is does the. title tell you what it what it is it's. lemon chicken with Oro you think well. that sounds good that's a good. combination absolutely and that's that. sounds like it would be satisfying to. eat so my first requirement when I'm. writing a recipe is what is the title. and then the second one is what is the. photograph look like does it look. delicious wow I love the fact that you.

bring us into that process and that. there recipes just coming out of you all. the time that they ideas coming out of. you all the time still it still is that. stimulating for you it is I mean after I. finish a book I think the my team is. always like you're going to start right. right away I will make a list of 50. ideas of recipes that I want to work on. and every morning I'll get up and think. or at night I'll decide which one I'm. going to do tomorrow so I have the. ingredients for it and I'll just go you. know it's a it's a it's a hot summer day.

and you know I'm going to make a a salad. or I'm going to make some um grilled. thing or if it's a cold winter day I'll. make you know I I feel like I'm making. like some kind of a soup or stew a stew. and I'll take something off the list and. just start working on it and I think one. of the reasons why you've been on the. bestseller list obviously 13 times is. because of exactly what you were saying. is that every recipe feels like coming. home to yourself in some way yes it.

feels and also I'm very conscious of um. the person who's reading the book yes. it's very important to me um the kind of. the user experience like does is. somebody going to want to make this um. and then I literally Give the recipe to. um my team and I just say can I watch. you make this so I see if they're going. to have any problems making it um do. they make questions about the the text. um are they going to cut the carrots the. right way um I I'm really conscious um.

that I want somebody at home using the. book to feel good about it and to know. that they've they've got the recipe. right do you still like hosting a a. dinner party does it bring they do but. they've gotten smaller and smaller. really I used to like to have big. parties but now I like really small ones. like six people around a round table. what kind of parties do you like to give. I I like. 68 6 to8 68 10 Max cuz once you get to. 12 it's hard to manage everybody in the.

same conversation at a table it's also a. lot of dishes and a lot of food and it's. a lot of glasses and a lot yes I'd. rather do like two parties of six than. one party of 12 you're absolutely then. you really can connect with each other. absolutely absolutely and which is at. the end of the day why we give parties. you're doing it to connect yes you're. doing it to connect and do you have any. tips for keeping everybody in the same. conversation yes I do actually it's. funny I've I've um developed this over.

the years if I know all the guests I can. do this in advance but if somebody. brings a guess you know bring somebody. and I don't know them I always assess. who the two most talkative people in the. group are and I make sure they see that. I always have a round table so I have. them seated at opposite sides of the. table because if the two talkative. people is sitting next to each other. they end up talking to each other and. everybody else is left out but if the. talkative people are opposite each other. and the quieter people on the other you. know on the other quadrant um. everybody's part of the same.

party that is a even it's a rectangular. does that does that sound right yeah. that's absolutely a good idea yes. because you're right the two talkative. people end up just talking to each other. and then everybody else is in their own. conversation yes yeah yes so I I always. I always kind of um choreograph the. table how where people sit by that tell. me this what brings you Jo the greatest. joy now do you still get the greatest. joy from creating the recipes being a.

part of the Empire that you've created. talk being with your team every day what. brings you Joy it's a very small Empire. yes I mean my team is like um the three. three of us we meet at my office every. day and we decide what we're all going. to do um so it's um I I what what I like. is very Hands-On I like um I don't like. um doing a million different things and. not feeling like I'm doing them well I. like doing one thing at a time I like.

working on recipes and writing books and. then doing TV and then going back to. writing books I I I really like that um. I also like having things that are not. work that I that are creative that I do. so I love working working on the garden. I'm not in the garden myself but. designing you know what the garden's. going to be I like I always have some. kind of construction project renovating. the house or building something um I. just like to feel that I have a life. outside work that's creative as well as.

having a creative work life can you I'm. sure you did think about this and we. talked you you handed at it earlier in. our conversation that once you do the. research on your life and you take the. time to do a serious Memoir like this. one that you have a different kind of. assessment of your life and you see your. role and your purpose differently what. do you think your purpose and your gift. to the planet has been I think writing.

the book has really made me realize this. yeah is I think the the the thing that. we can do is matter to each other is. that my work matters to other people and. and and it can be as simple as um as. I've given somebody a recipe for coconut. cake and they've made it for their. family and their family goes you made. this yourself so it makes me feel like. um what I've done I've given them. something that makes them feel good and.

that matters to me and the thing about. mattering which I a very good friend of. mine Jenny walls talks about mattering. and she's writing about it um is that is. it's so. actionable that we can do things that. make us make other people feel they. matter to us um and that makes them feel. good and vice versa and it's it's it's. as simple as bringing a pot of chicken. soup to a friend who's sick you're. saying to that person you matter to me.

and that makes them feel good and it. makes you feel good and I feel like my. books have mattered to people and you. the TV show people so many people said I. taught them how to cook which is just. amazing to me and I you know I did it. because I thought it would be fun to do. but to have that as the the the legacy. of it is just fabulous yes and I think I. think that really is everybody's Legacy. is is is did did my work matter to. people yes as as yours obviously has. done for decades well Maya Angelo shared.

with me my favorite quote of all time. and that is that your legacy is never. one thing it's every life you touch and. in your case it's every dish you've made. it's every recipe you've shared it's. every person who's now made that recipe. and shared it with somebody else that. becomes your legacy so that gift. continues to unfold as an offering of. you know Wonderful dishes parties people.

coming together with oh yes thank you. that that that is what that is what. you've done that is what you've done and. one of the reasons why I wanted to do. this podcast is to talk particularly in. these times about what matters to us all. so I end this question with you what. matters to you now most what what mostly. matters to you well what matters to me. is say Tak care of people and that I. give people the tools to take care of.

other people I think we just need to. stay connected I think the world is very. stressful and I think the more we can. create a community around ourselves and. take care of the people around us um the. more we can deal with the difficulties. and I think cooking brings people. together and it makes us feel good about. ourselves and and the and it's about. it's not about being with with people. that love us it's about being with. people that we feel love for and so and.

we can do that with cooking I love that. so much all right tell us how to be. ready when the luck. happens do the work I think a lot of a. lot of people think say how can I have a. show on Food Network well you know what. you Bobby play said to somebody first. you have to wash the dishes in a kitchen. and then you have to learn how to chop. vegetables and then maybe you go to. culinary school and you need to do the. work you can't just go directly to um a.

a show on Food Network you need the the. experience and the knowledge and the. information that you can share with. others and the truth is had you not had. that. experience uh and learned what it means. to run a kitchen to have employees to be. able to you wouldn't have been able to. be prepared when the opportunity for the. show came along and an opportunity which. you turned down multiple times you. thought years for years you thought you. weren't ready you thought you weren't.

ready I really I thought who wants to. watch me cook on TV I guess I was wrong. turns out millions of people do AA turns. out millions of us do AA garden thank. you for the gift that this book is and I. know a lot of people feel it's like a. blueprint actually for building the life. of their own dreams that's what you've. done be ready when the luck happens is. available now anywhere you buy your. books and you can also download the. audio version to hear AA tell her own.

story so if you're listening to the. podcast and you can head over to my. YouTube channel to watch the full video. thank you so much AA thank you for being. with us thank you I'm just such a such a. joy to be with you oh a joy to be with. you from your. kitchen you can subscribe to the Oprah. podcast on YouTube and follow us on. Spotify Apple podcast or wherever you. listen I'll see you next week thanks. everybody e.