How to Get Along When Every Generation Thinks Differently

For the first time in history, [music]. we are living in a society with seven. different generations who don't seem to. see eye to eye. Who here has experienced. [music] a Gen Z stare? >> Well, it takes us a second to kind of. maybe buffer it. >> And kind of. >> Like your brain is doing this. It's a. little. >> Like loading. Literally loading. >> Look at her little brain fog. >> On the flip side of Gen Z, I hear that. the boomers are partying. They're having. sex. They're smoking a lot of pot. The.

boomers [music] had free love in the. 1960s and now they have free love in. their 60s. >> [laughter]. >> We, as the older generation, aren't. [music] prepared for a generation that. actually grew up in this technological. age of being on their phones. They don't. know how to connect. >> They're not out playing with their. friends. [music] They're not solving. problems on their own, developing that. resilience and toughness. I had one of. my girls who started working as an. architect. She's calling me about. work-life balance. And I'm like, "What.

the hell?". >> [laughter]. >> This is, by far, the biggest. generational difference in work. attitudes. >> If one generation has expectations, the. other generation doesn't care. Then how. do we ever find middle ground? >> Hi everyone. I am delighted to be here. with you on the Oprah podcast for the. first time in history. Did you all know. this, that we are living in a society. with seven different generations.

Generations who don't seem to see eye to. eye or even speak the same language. sometimes. And how is that showing up in. our workplace, in your school, or within. your own family? I wanted to ask the. audience what do you all think are the. stereotypes about your own generation or. other generations? So, Tanya, you're a. millennial, which is ages 30 to 45. Now, y'all are getting older. >> [laughter]. >> Y'all are getting older. What do you.

want to say? >> It frustrates me with um Gen Z. I think. their communication style is just a. completely different style. It kind of. lacks respect sometimes, whereas I feel. like millennials, we take a bit more. care and respect in how we communicate. >> Okay, so you think millennials are more. careful in their respect Okay. Thank. you. I need a boomer now. Ages That's. ages 62 to 80. That's my group, Brenda.

>> Hi. Um I'm an educator, and one thing. that I see or several things that I see. that are missing from generations, because I've been doing this for a. while, is work ethic, accountability, and toughness. So, the type of toughness that I grew up. with or. accountability that led to toughness, I. don't see it. I have a lot of students. who don't meet timelines and. >> Don't respect timelines.

>> They don't respect timelines. >> Yeah. >> And they have a lot of excuses for why. they can't get things done. >> Mhm. >> And they show up whenever they want to. to class. And that's a problem. And so, and the. work ethic, they don't always give their. best. um work when I know that they can do. better. So, definitely. >> Okay. I see a lot of Gen Z'ers here. Hello. Thank you all. Ages That's ages. 14 to 29. Madeline, your thoughts.

>> With Gen Z personally, I think that. there was two events that really. impacted how we kind of changed our. behavior and kind of influenced how we. moved forward. And I think a lot of. technology advancements and COVID really. impacted majority of people of my. generation, and we kind of got left in. this space where we weren't getting a. lot of guidance from other generations, cuz I don't think the older generations. knew how to teach us how to navigate. these things, because that was the first. time anyone was experiencing it. But, I. really think it did impact and change my.

generation, cuz I think we are. associated with a lot of negative. stereotypes, but I think we were kind of. expected to go through go through these. things without knowing anything, and. we're expected to know everything. >> Okay, so there's a lack of leadership, you say. What about what Tonya said. earlier? Do you think that there is a. problem in the level of respect? >> I think there's a divide in Gen Z. I. think there's a lot of people who do. lack respect, but I think there's also a. big part of my generation who does have. that respect. I think that kind of comes. down to a lot of external factors, but I. do notice that there's a big divide in.

my generation with how we act and how we. speak and how we behave. >> Okay. And Gen X, I hear Gen X feels like. they're the ignored middle children. What do you want to say about that, Kim? >> I'm Gen X, and we're the forgotten. generation. There's uh so much said in. like the media and the cult our culture. about pitting uh Gen Gen Millennials, pitting Millennials against Baby. Boomers, and it's like we don't exist, and we're right here, front and center. So, what happens is we get looked over.

for jobs, for healthcare, all sorts of. things. Um but, we're right here. >> Yeah. And so, what what is that age. range for Gen Xers? What is that? >> So, it's uh Gen X is those born between. 1965 and 1979. >> Okay. Well, thank you all so much for. your comments. To help us unpack all. this, I'm joined by psychologist, professor, and best-selling author Jean. Twenge. She's the author of Generations, The Real Difference Between Gen Z,

Millennials, Gen X, Boomers, and. Silence, and what they mean for. America's future. Welcome, Jean. Thank. you so much for being here. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. Can you briefly tell us what. are the general traits of the. generations, not stereotypes, or maybe. they are stereotypes. Yeah. >> Yeah, so either word generations was. traditionally used to mean generations. within a family. So, grandparents, parents, children. But now we talk about. social generations. So, that would be.

the silent generation born 1925 to 1945. So, their name is really a misnomer. They really changed a lot of things. Two. famous members, Martin Luther King Jr. and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. >> Okay. >> Then the boomers born 1946 to 1964. So, silents changed the law, boomers. changed hearts and minds in terms of. just a lot of outdated social rules. going away. >> There were more boomers for a long time. than any any other generation, right?

>> Right. That's where they get their name. from was the huge baby boom after World. War II. So, very very large generation, still a very large generation. >> Okay. >> Followed by Gen X, a much smaller. generation. 1965 to 79. That's where they're the. middle child. >> Ignored. >> Ignored and skipped over. But, you know, Gen X brings their own strengths, very. practical. Um, really arguably the last generation. to have a unified pop culture. experience. I'm a Gen Xer, we love our. pop culture. Um, my favorite part of the book was.

talking about the very strange Saturday. morning cartoons that we watched that I. think were written by a bunch of boomers. who were stoned. As far as I can. [laughter] tell. That's my guess. >> Yes. >> Yeah. Uh, then we have millennials. So, born 1980. to 1994. And they've become known for kind of. breaking down institutions. So, marriage, religion, things like that. Having a lot of self-confidence and. optimism, although that's uh, curtailed. a little bit in the last few years. Then uh, Gen Z. So, born 1995 to nobody.

knows yet, but uh, we're kind of getting. a consensus around 2009 maybe for the. last year. So, Gen Z is the first. generation to spend their entire. adolescence in the age of the. smartphone. So, and that's had ripple. effects across many areas of their. lives. In terms of their experience with. social interaction and lots of other. things. So, after Gen Z, that's another. one where we don't really know yet, but. there's consensus forming around alphas.

So, after Gen Z, we have another younger. generation and to name them we have a. problem because we ran out of letters. So, what are we going to do? >> We'll go back to the beginning of the. alphabet call them alphas is what a lot. of people have said. >> Ah. >> Mhm. >> That's the baby children coming up now. >> Yes. Yes. Um yeah, exactly. So, that younger group. is still in elementary school, middle. school, maybe the beginning of high. school. >> And this is what you write I found so. interesting that the generation we are. born into.

impacts every aspect of our life. Think. about that, y'all. It impacts our attitudes, our values, our economic conditions, our. opportunities, even our well-being. Uh some people have challenged this. idea. How so? >> Yeah. Well, I think pretty much everyone. agrees that growing up now, living now. is completely different from what it was. like to live 100 years ago, you know, or. 50 years ago, or even 20 years ago. There's just so many changes in.

technology and the way that we live, the. way that we relate to each other, and. everything else. Where you get the. challenges is people will say, "Well, why are we putting people into these. arbitrary 15 to 20-year groups?" Well, because that's really an easier way to. study people. Otherwise, how would we. have the language? Would we have to say. each individual birth year, people born. in the '70s? And there are some reasons. to group people that way. It allows us. to just understand more about each. other, which is really the point, you. know, not to point fingers or. stereotype, but to try to understand.

each other better. That's why I got into. doing this in the first place. >> Okay, so you write about a phenomenon. called the slow life strategy. What is. that? >> Yeah, so it explains so much about how. things have changed over the. generations. So when you have a society. that's just more technologically. complex, people live longer cuz we have. better medical care. And then education takes longer to. finish. So it slows down the whole life. cycle. Like not day-to-day, but in terms.

of years. That people take longer to. grow up and longer to grow old. So in. childhood, kids are less independent. Teenagers are now much less likely than. say Gen X was at the same age to have a. driver's license or to have a paid job. Yes. Much less likely. >> And why is that? That they're less. likely That's what I hear. That. teenagers now don't have driver's. licenses. >> That's right. >> Nor care about driving, right? And why. is that? >> Well, there's a couple reasons. So one. is the parties on Snapchat or Instagram, but.

>> Yeah. >> that's that's one element. Um but it's it is also this slow life. strategy. Um they just are not as eager. to do adult things in the way that Gen. Xers or even millennials were at the. same age. They look at having a driver's. license and they're like, "Mm, you. know.". >> Oh, see, I thought it was cuz of Uber. >> Well, until really recently you couldn't. take Uber until you were 18. Plus we see. the decline in driver's licenses even in. rural areas where Uber isn't around. Uber's expensive, too. So and it's also. not just a driver's license. They're.

less likely to have a paid job. They're. less likely to go on dates. They're less. likely to drink alcohol. >> So nobody's getting jobs at 15 and 16. anymore. >> Not as much. >> Yeah. >> Not as much. It's much less common. So. all of those adult things, those happen. later. So they're just taking longer to. do those things. >> That's why it's called the slow life. strategy. >> Yeah, that's right. And then it shows up. in young adulthood, too. There's this. reluctance to become an adult. You know, it's now a verb. It's adulting. Right? And that's And And ever says.

adulting for all of the the fun things. about being an adult like being. independent. It's things like doing. laundry and paying your bills. >> Yes. >> that focus on all that's no fun. But. just on the practical matter, young. adults um take longer to settle into. career, to get married, to have. children. But it goes on because middle-aged. people look and feel younger than their. parents or grandparents did at the same. age. >> Thank god for hair color. >> Yeah. It's actually biomarkers, too. They've. looked at it and we actually are younger. than a few decades ago.

>> just hair color. >> Yeah, no. It isn't. >> Nora Ephron once said that hair color is. the greatest gift ever given to to. women. >> Lady Clairol. Yeah, yeah. It is It made. a huge difference because, you know, it just did. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And I will always color my hair. I will. be in the casket colored. >> [laughter]. >> So, so go ahead. >> So, that's middle age. And then um I. just as people get older, they enjoy. more years of health and more years of. life.

>> Yeah. And so all of that has contributed. to the slow life strategy. >> Yes. >> [music]. >> Everything I do begins with intention. >> You become exactly what you believe is. possible. >> Especially the Oprah podcast. >> You're doing good, ain't you? >> I believe when people share their. personal journeys with authenticity, [music]. >> Never thought of it like that. >> I love that you've never thought of it. that way before. >> And with intention, something beautiful. happens. We.

>> [music]. >> recognize pieces of our own lives in. theirs. We realize. >> That actually helps, right? >> we are not alone. Life is a journey. And how we navigate it matters. That's. why I am so excited to welcome our. friends at GEICO as the official. insurance partner for the Oprah podcast. For 90 years, GEICO has been there for. the highs and the lows, with people. through life's exciting moments, and. supporting [music] them when the road. takes an unexpected turn. GEICO's.

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[music] you with insurance designed to. keep you covered through it all, because. life happens in ways. we can't always predict. [music]. And with the right support, we keep driving forward. And that, dear. listener, is everything. >> So, Amanda Schneider is a researcher and. writer, and her upcoming book is called. Work for What's Next: Why Workplace.

Culture Is Failing and How the Next. Generation Can Fix It. Welcome, Amanda. >> Thank you. >> So, I'm so happy that we're having this. conversation because I hear all the time. the, you know, differences between the. generations in the workplace. And you. say work is broken. How so? >> So, I think we are actually changing the. vernacular when we think about work. And. I think unfortunately right now we're. focused on the wrong problem.

When we hear people talk about work. today in the media, especially, it's. around return to office. But we can't. fix a how problem with a where solution. Bringing them back won't matter if. there's a problem with how we're. working. So, the next generations, who. are naturally digital first, meaning. they see the world through a digital. mindset, can really help us figure out. how to evolve work for this figital era, meaning blending physical and digital. work. >> Right. And so, I know that some Gen. Z'ers say that they've gotten a bad rap.

Do you think Gen Z'ers have gotten a bad. rap in the workplace? >> Definitely. Definitely. >> People say. they don't want to work as hard as their. parents. >> Yeah. >> Uh they demand work-life balance. >> Yeah. >> Uh and believe in don't really believe. in loyalty to the company. Are those. generalizations true? >> They're true, but there's another. perspective there. It's. >> Okay, what is it? >> So, if we want to look at their. perspective, we have to understand how. they think, and I think that we have to. do more to bring these generations. together.

So, if I had to summarize kind of what's. shifting, work used to be a noun, and I. think some older generations think about. work as a physical place. Meaning, when. my dad said he was going to work, it. meant he was physically taking his bag, and he was going to an office, right? >> Yes. Yes. >> When these younger generations think, "I'm going to work," if you look at how. my kids hear me when I say, "I'm going. to work," it means I'm going to open my. laptop somewhere. Might be in an office, might be at home, might be somewhere in. between. >> That's a fundamental difference in the. way we perceive the languaging of it.

>> I think it's a fundamental difference in. how these different generations see the. world. >> Okay. >> And so, to fix work, we're going to have. to really understand and fix the systems. that are evolving from a noun to a verb. >> Jean, you even write that Gen Z is. skeptical of the need for hierarchy in. the workplace. You call this flattening. Explain. What that is. >> Yeah, so it goes along with. individualism. Just more focus on the. self and less on others. It's been. another big change in the culture over. the years that shaped generations. So,

in the workplace, it just means a lot. less hierarchy. And we've seen this. across many decades that it used to be. people would call their boss by their. last name, you know, Mr. Jones, Ms. Patel, right? And now it's it's Mike or. Priya. You call them by their first. name. Sometimes you might even call them. bro if you're if you're in Gen Z. >> Yeah. >> Uh. just much more casual. And we see this. in dress. >> boss bro? >> I don't. Yeah.

>> But you would call you some people call. their bosses. >> My kids probably will. My kids call me. bro. >> Okay. All right. >> [laughter]. >> I am from San Diego. >> Okay. >> Explain some of it. >> Okay. >> Yeah. But it it comes out in dress, too. That it used to be people would wear. suits to work and really dress up to. work. And then it was oh, in the '90s we. had casual Friday and now every day is. casual Friday. >> Yeah. >> Uh and again, for my kids, maybe people. looking at them, I'm kind of wondering. if in the future people will end up at. work wearing pajama pants. Maybe we're.

already there. >> Yeah, I think we are already there. >> Uh. and it also just comes in how people. relate to each other. That it used to be much more common for. bosses just to you tell employees, "Okay, this is what you're going to do.". And they would go and do it. And now. it's much more of a team mentality and. much more of the manager working with. people uh rather than ordering them. around and talking more about why we're. doing what we're doing and why it's. important rather than just go do this. cuz that's what I told you to do.

>> Well, the baby boomers are pushing off. retirement and you know, Congress is. even considering raising the the. retirement age from 67 I hear to 70. And. today's college graduates have been. described as trying to merge on a. freeway and nobody is letting you in. >> Mhm. >> So, uh I would like both of your reactions. to that. >> Mhm. >> What do you say? >> I think it's definitely a challenge. today. We need to think about new. systems, meaning um. more consulting options. You know, the.

gig economy is actually growing. That's. very attractive to Gen Z. I think it's. also very attractive to, you know, maybe. boomers that are ready to retire but. don't want to step totally out of the. workforce. So, I think there's a real. opportunity to re-look at some of these. systems around this evolving perception. of what work needs to look like for the. future. >> So, how do you think this is impacting. the younger generations? >> Well, I mean, there's there's some good. news here as boomers are a very large. generation. Many of them are retiring. That opens up a lot of opportunities for.

young workers. We think we really saw. that a few years ago right after the. pandemic. It opened up a lot of those. opportunities. Um it's just now the at least perception. is AI is taping taking a lot of those. opportunities away. So, there's a real. reconsideration. >> I I there was a time when everybody was. talking about quiet quitting their jobs. And now, I think the thing is job. hugging. Uh I mean, what changed? >> Yeah, I think it's this era of risk. aversion. You talk about the slow life. I think we're shifting from an era of.

kind of slow life uh lots of friction to. a fast life with not much friction at. all. I think it's why we're hearing. about this. uh not a lot of grit from younger. generations. Maybe because they haven't. had to develop it kind of in the same. way. Um that is really going to have us. rethink how we're looking at all of our. systems. >> And so, all of the stereotypes about. generations, we've had this for years. Have we not, Jean? Everybody stereotypes. generations. >> Yes, but I mean, that's one of the. reasons I got into the field in the. first place looking at surveys where you.

look at what young people have to say. about themselves because then you're not. stereotyping, you're listening. >> Mhm. And what have you learned the most. about the Gen Z'ers? >> Oh, so many things. Um but if we're. going to focus on work, some of those. ideas around work ethic, that is what. they say themselves. They are less. willing to work overtime. Um they're. less likely to say that that work is a. central part of their life. Um they also are more likely to say that.

they want a job where they can help. others. >> More likely to say. Yes. Yeah. And. And that's because of what Amanda was. saying, work doesn't mean to them what. it meant to our generation or to the Gen. X generation. It actually doesn't mean. the same. >> Maybe. Maybe not. >> We should ask them. Jodie is Gen Z and. moved to New York to pursue a career in. fashion and she works for a luxury brand. and says work-life balance is very. important. Jodie, tell us why. >> Yes, so work-life balance is very. important to me because of the way that.

I grew up. So, I grew up in a Filipino. immigrant family. So, they work to survive and to support the. family. So, work-life balance wasn't a. priority for them. So, for me, when it came to my career, I. had a dreamer mentality. I took a. different career path than them. I moved. from California to New York to pursue. fashion and styling. I worked multiple. jobs including retail, worked my way up. the corporate ladder in luxury fashion,

and it gave me stability to continue to. build my business, but also still have. that stable income. So, work-life. balance is really important. I set hard. deadlines and hard boundaries between. myself and work and sometimes that may. be perceived as like. um. I'm not working as hard. But, I am. I'm just doing it. sporadically. >> Yes. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. Okay. So, I think this is so interesting.

because I have, you know, mentored a lot. of girls from South Africa who were at. my school and now I think I think I. don't know what generation they are, but. anyway, I had one of my girls who. started working as an architect, tried. very hard to get a job as an architect. right out of USC and got a job with the. architectural firm here in New York. Really prominent architectural firm. Started working. 4 months in, she's. calling me about work-life balance and. I'm like, "What the hell? >> [laughter]. >> What the hell? You got the job. There's.

no such thing I mean, my generation. there was no such thing as work-life. balance and I think it. we this pendulum was way over on the. other side and we swung too far. But the. idea that you're supposed to have. work-life balance when you first start a. job is. just a foreign concept to our. generation. But you believe that is your right. >> I believe it's my right. I know there. are certain times like I'm not afraid to. go ahead and stay later during busy.

times, but normal times where work is. manageable, I'm off the clock after. >> And you. and don't call me on the weekends and. don't call me past all that. >> But I also do work in a business that. has a good work-life. >> It's great. I love it. I'm very fortunate to work in. in a company that has good work-life. balance and most of us don't work on the. weekends. >> That's great. >> Yeah, I mean this this is by far the. biggest generational difference in work.

attitudes when you take age out and. career stage out of the equation. So that work-life balance piece. So this. is the one of the biggest generational. divides because there's a lot of baby. boomer and sometimes even Gen Xer. managers. who look at this and say that didn't. exist when I was starting up. and when I was coming up in this job it. just it just wasn't there. And they see. that they see it as a lack of work ethic. yet Gen Z says, "Look, I want to have a.

life. I want to get enough sleep. I want. to have mental health and wellness." And. they have a point. >> They do have a point. >> get that divide. And one place where the. divide really ends up coming up a lot is. the idea of a mental health day. So there's a lot of older managers who. are like, "You want a mental health. what?". >> Um yes. >> Really? Um but then there's Gen Z who. says, "No, of course of course that. should be completely acceptable just as. it's acceptable to take a day off when. you're physically sick. >> Uh yeah, I know I had somebody who told.

me that someone in in the Gen Z. generation had said that to them and. they they said as the employer. the weekend is your mental health day. Yeah, which is the way we all grew up. So is is. the reason why we have this divide is. because there needs to be a shift in the. way we, the older generation, thinks. about the younger generation. >> That could be one way to think about it. or it could be that both both have a. point and we have to meet somewhere in. the middle. >> If one generation has expectations, the.

other generation doesn't care or thinks. that your expectations are completely. unreasonable, how how do we ever find middle ground? >> Yeah, I mean we can find things that are. are the win-win solutions for giving the. generation what they want in the short. term that's also good for them in the. long term and for the organization in. the long term. And there are there are. some of those solutions like you know, more coverage for mental health care. might be one of those examples. >> I know, but then I would be wary of the.

you know, lots of people talk about mental health. days and mental health days for a lot of. people is I don't feel so good. >> Right. And that that's why that's why. those those are are hard. The mental. health day piece is difficult. But yes, bring more attention to So like some. companies are doing this cool thing. where they give starting employees a. wellness grant and they can spend it. however they want. They can spend it for. therapy, they can spend it to buy a. better mattress or a or a expensive. pillow or whatever will make their life. better. So Susan is Gen X and was an elementary.

school teacher for 20 years and she. wrote to us saying, "If you want to know. what the generational divide is like, come sit in a public school staff. meeting.". >> [laughter]. >> Oh boy, I can only imagine what that's. like. Yeah. >> Well, you can tell the generations. without even having conversation yet. The Gen X and the boomers will be in. their corner with a stack of papers. grading, heads down. Um, and there was a. lot of the Millennials that collaborated.

and talked. And then at the end of the. meeting, you know, the younger. generation would have their hands in the. air asking why we're doing this. And. then you see like the glares like. because we're going to do this. You. know, that was our way is you were told. kind of what to do. And we did it. And. the younger generations of teachers are. coming in and talking about it, talking. about how we're going to fix the. problems, especially with mental health. After COVID is where I saw the largest.

generational divide happen. Kids came. in, the Alpha came in to my classroom. and they are so used to being behind. screens that normally when you say let's. get a partner, the kids want to get. partners and I was seeing 10 kids not. one to have that peer interaction. They. couldn't. They didn't know how. But the most interesting part to me. was the adults don't know how to teach.

that. We were never taught to talk about our. feelings or emotions. We pushed on. I'm just fine. I'm fine. When you're crumbling. And now these. kids are in front of you and they're. talking through body language, through. reactions, through anger. And the older generations we and I told. my students. I don't know how to help you.

But I'm going to find a way. I told my daughter Madeleine one day, I. don't know how to mommy you through. this. I'm going to Google it. She said, did. you just say you're going to Google it? I didn't know how to help her. That. never happened to me. But I think that. what was so. wonderful in my classroom was I gave. them transparency and vulnerability. And they want that, but there's so many. adults we all know. We didn't learn how to parent. We didn't.

learn how to get through conflict. >> Yeah. Well, one of the things I I I I. gathered from reading generations. generations There is there are distinct. differences and we. as the older generation aren't prepared. for our generation that actually grew up. in this technological age of being on. their phones and that we just aren't. prepared. >> No. >> We just aren't prepared. And so, what. are you suggesting? >> I really think there some great social. and emotional curriculum coming out.

Um teachers kind of white knuckle the. book because when they're trying to. teach these um ways to communicate, they. aren't used to doing it. So, teachers. are kind of famous for if we don't know. how, we're not going to do it. >> Yeah. >> So, we have to teach them how to do it. >> and haven't you found in those staff. meetings or in general, too, uh and certainly you have Jean in your. your writing that every generation's. resistant to change? >> Oh, absolutely, but.

in schools right now, it's crumbling. Schools are our future and they're. wanting to have a connection. They don't. know how to make it. >> You mean the older generation with the. younger generation? >> I even mean just the younger generation. with their peers. >> Okay. >> Because they're behind because they're. always on their iPad. >> Yes. >> And so, they don't know how to connect. >> know they don't know how because they. don't have as much experience. I mean, building social skills takes thousands. and thousands of hours.

And so, the children are just they're. not having that experience growing up. They're not out playing with their. friends outside in the way that previous. generations grew up. They're not solving. problems on their own, developing that. resilience and toughness they came up. earlier. It's just it's not happening as. much, and then it's not happening when. they're teenagers, cuz instead of the. iPad, then they have the phone. And so. again, and we know this from tons of. data, they're not just hanging out with. their friends, going to parties, going.

to the mall, any of these things about. just getting together with friends in. person, those rates have been cut in half. They're just not doing that as much as. previous generations did. >> Cuz they're just on their phones. >> That's primarily what it's replaced. Yeah. Yeah. >> Thank you, Susan. Well, last summer you. all might recall that the the term Gen Z. stare took off on social media. Who here has experienced a Gen Z stare? >> Mhm. >> Okay. Okay. You want to explain to us what it is?

I've never I had never experienced it. I. didn't know what they were talking. about, but go ahead. >> The basic idea is often, you know, in. some sort of like service interaction. with someone, the employee will just. do like this, kind of a blank. expression, as if, you know, we don't even I don't know. I don't. think the rest of us can really figure. it out. >> Okay. >> but what's going on with it, but that's. what it usually looks like. >> Okay. So, 18-year-old Demetrius posted. this response on Tik Tok to the older. generations. >> We have the Gen Z stare because most of. y'all are just clueless. >> Can I have a cheeseburger with no.

cheese? Some customers make you question, how. are these real people? It says remove my. card. Um do I remove my card? Most of the time it's us trying to. figure out if you're being for real or. not. Item says that it's out of stock. Um do you have any more in the back? But then somehow we're the mean ones. >> [applause]. >> Demetrius, is it really that bad? >> Yes. >> It's that bad. >> Yes. >> Yeah. Okay. What do you want the older.

generation to know about your. generation? >> We didn't choose to grow up in such a. digital like social media-based society, you know, this is what we were grown and. raised into. So, something that maybe. the older generations might call. insensitive or even sensitive in some. cases is just a natural result of how. we're experiencing our environments. and whatnot. >> Yeah. And so, [snorts] when you when you. have those kind of encounters,

what is the reason for the stare? >> [laughter]. >> I'm not saying for you specifically, but. the reason that's become a thing is why? >> In social media, everything's. fast-paced. We're you know, we're so. used to instant gratification, instantly. getting scrolls, text messages. So, we're used to. fast-paced whatever. So, when we're. doing the stare, when something slow or. maybe confusing in our life, it's. it takes us aback a little bit. And so, it takes us a second to kind of.

maybe buffer. and kind of and kind of figure out what. is what is going on. Are you. >> Your brain is doing this. >> Literally loading. Yes. Loading. Yes. >> That is funny. >> Yes. >> That is funny. You're taking a second to. buffer. >> Yes. >> [laughter]. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> Yes. >> Is it because you think that. is it you think we're stupid? Is that Do. you really think [laughter] we're. we're stupid or you're irritated or. what? The stare is like. >> A little bit of both, kind of.

>> [laughter]. >> Maybe not stupid, but a lot of the. times, we're just. when we view work, we don't see work as something that's. enjoyable. Especially with now with. social media, there's content creators, influencers, where they're making tons. of money just doing whatever. That plays. a really big role in how we view work as. well. >> Yeah, because the new aspiration is to. become a TikTok influencer, right? Yeah.

>> Which is kind of I mean kind of like. back in the day, you know, you played. middle school basketball and you said, "Okay, then I'm going to be in the NBA. and make millions." And that that's the. problem with that dream only a very few. can do that and really make a living off. of it. >> Yeah. >> Um but that that's kind of that that new. dream. Um and it but it's true. It's. like it feels like it's winning the. lottery and that you can just make all. that money doing that. Um and there's. data to back up that too that uh Gen Z's. a lot less likely to say at the age 18.

they're less likely to say that they. expect their chosen work to be. satisfying. Cuz that had actually been. going up from boomers to Gen Xers to. millennials. Like there was a lot of. optimism and then it just plummets. A. lot more pessimism in general with Gen Z. but especially around work. >> Do you feel that? >> Yes. >> You do. So your goal isn't to find a job that. fills you with meaning and purpose or is. it your your your your your goal? >> I think the issue is that the older. generations, they maybe view work as.

working in a physical place 8 hours a. day. >> Yeah. >> Whereas for us, we see work as something. that's fun and enjoyable. >> what Amanda was saying in her book work, yeah. >> And content creating or influencing is. probably the closest thing to that in. terms of having a job that's both. financially stable and also personally. satisfying. >> But I'm like if you're going to live in. a world where everybody's an influencer, who's left to be influenced? >> Well, that's true. >> [laughter]. >> After a while, right? I don't know.

Thank you, Demetrius. Thank that at. least that was a cute video. Let's talk. about love and relationships. When the. silent generation was in their. 20s, seven in 10 women were married. So. the silent generation, what what. generation is that? >> Born 1925 to 1945. So they were young in. the 50s. >> Okay, they were young in the 50s and so. seven in 10 were married. For Gen Z, that number has dropped down to. one in 10.

Elsbeth Wimpy is a self-proclaimed. dating journalist and interviews singles. in her hometown of Dallas. Let's watch. these short clips. >> When was the last time a guy approached. you? >> I literally can't remember. That's how. long it's been. >> When was the last time you approached a. girl? >> Honestly, never in my life. >> Normally, I I do not approach men. I. will smile and do like a little finger. wave and then that's that's my approach. >> So, you're not into boss babe. >> No, I just think that bossing a man. around is outside of woman's nature. >> Are you on the dating apps? >> Reluctantly. >> How is that working for you?

>> It's not great. >> It's just becoming too much of a slot. machine. The gamification of dating, I. was like, ah, this isn't going anywhere. >> If she's open to coming back on the. first night, for me that's uh. >> Oh, that's a red flag. >> That's a red flag. I'm not opposed to. it, it's just it's not going to be a. long-term for me. >> Have you ever ghosted someone before? I have. Have you been broken up with? >> I've not. I've never been in a. relationship. >> How's it dealing with 20-year-old men? >> Oh, it's rough out here. >> The bars in hell? >> Terrible. >> The bars in hell. Welcome, Elsbeth.

>> Hi. >> Okay, what is uh what why is Gen Z not. dating, do you think? >> I feel like we're having an identity. crisis. A lot of people don't know who. they are. The comparison culture is. rampant and the dating apps is can. creating a really competitive. >> culture is rampant because you're. comparing yourself to everybody else on. your screens. >> On the dating apps, yes. >> Okay. >> And average-looking men are virgins. later in life, like till they're 30. Because they're getting rejected all the. time.

>> Okay. >> Yeah, and the confidence is just not. there. >> It's not there. And so, when did you. start to notice this happening? >> I So, I started Elsbeth on the Streets. May of 2025 and as I've interviewed so. many people and that's the thing that's. come up is people just don't know who. they are anymore. >> Okay, well, how are you how how are. people going to know if they're on their. phones all the time? >> No, exactly. It's just they don't know. how to communicate like you said. previously. The you said it takes hours. for thousands of hours of hours to.

develop social interaction. No one knows. how to do that anymore. Like approaching. a woman is just weird now. >> Yeah. Is and and and many got the the guys. that you were asking on there saying. they never had a date before. That's. shocking to me. >> [laughter]. >> Was that shocking to you also? >> Yes. >> Well, a recent poll asked 100,000. college students about their sex lives. and 35% said they scrolls on their. phones during sex. How's that working for you?

And some even admitted to stopping sex. to text their moms. >> [laughter]. >> Jean, what is going on? What is going on, bro? >> [laughter]. >> Addiction? I mean, that's what that. feels like. I mean, that that's so often. the the narrative that I hear when I. talk. I give a lot of talks at school. So, from middle school students, high. school students, even you know, college. students, even a lot of older adults. say, you know, I just can't I can't I.

can't put it down. I can't put the phone. down. I can't close I can't delete the. social media apps because they're. designed. They're designed to be that. way. That's how they make the most. money. And so, they're going to have. that element of I don't really want to. be on this thing, but I feel like I have. to. It's very much an addict's. narrative. >> Wow. On the flip side of Gen Z, there's. the boomers. And I hear that the boomers are. partying. There's a there. There's a reported rise in drinking not.

with the Gen Z'ers, but with the. boomers. And [clears throat] and. boomers are drinking, they're having. sex, >> And they're smoking pot. >> They're smoking a lot of pot and they're. having sexually transmitted diseases. like gonorrhea has increased more than. six times with boomers since 2010. So, what's going on with the boomers? >> Yeah. Well, the boomers had free love in the. 1960s and now they have free love in. their 60s. >> [laughter]. >> That's what's happening with the.

boomers. Yeah. >> [applause]. >> But but but how does that fit into the. slow life strategy theory? What what. what's actually happening? >> I I do think a lot of it is generational. that that's what boomers really. pioneered. Um you know, they were the. first generation to to to smoke pot at. such a high level. Um they did drink a. lot uh when they were younger. Uh they. did pioneer uh in many ways the idea of. yeah, let's have sex outside of marriage. and that's cool. So, that has continued.

as they've gotten older and they just. many of these things they've seen no. reason to give it up just because. they're getting older. >> Yeah, and we just recently did a podcast. on gray divorce. How the greatest number. of people who are getting divorced in. this country are not people under 40 or. people 40 or under 50 even. It's people. over 65 because people are recognizing. that you're living longer. I've been in. this marriage, not doing it for me, and. I'm going to go smoke some pot and have. a good time,

you know? >> Right. And hopefully not scroll on their. phone while they're having sex. >> on their phone while having sex. So, for. women of a certain age, I'm talking. about boomers, Gen X, and now the elder. millennials, I know you've seen the. explosion on TikTok over the we do not. care club. Here it is. >> Hello and welcome to all new and. existing members of the we do not care. club. We do not care if our hair is. thinning on our head and thickening on. our chin. We do not care that we clean.

our cell phone screen by rubbing it on. our boobs. It works. We do not care if you hear us. talking to ourselves and occasionally. answering ourselves, too. We are having a staff meeting. Leave us the hell alone. >> Hi Melanie. >> [applause]. >> Welcome Melanie, head of the We Do Not. Care Club, Melanie Sanders. When did you. realize you didn't care anymore?

>> You know, I was sitting in my car one. day. I had a hysterectomy. And with that. hysterectomy came perimenopause. I was sitting in my car one day and I. was looking in the rearview mirror and I. just I was I was putting so much. pressure on myself and I you know, you. got to go clean. You got to go cook. You. got to go do this. You got to do do do. do. And I just said, you know what. Melanie? You do not care much anymore. You got to. stop it. I am at capacity. And that was that was the moment. I.

said, we do not care. >> And then did you realize once you posted. that that there are a lot of other. people in that club? >> Oh boy, I had no idea. >> row going. Members of the We Do Not Care Club, really? Okay. >> Yes, yes. It's being at capacity, you. know, it's it's the pressures of. especially in the perimenopause. menopause. space. Like we're tired and Demetrius, you were saying. buffering. We [snorts] call it brain. fog.

>> [laughter]. >> We can stand there so while you're. buffering and a little confused, we're. standing there and we're we're just as. confused. So that you know, our we're we're. different. Our bodies are changing, you. know, and we have to reprioritize. our level of cares. >> And how has this this this. declaration or affirmation of attitude, has it helped you? Is it working for. you? >> It it is. It really is because it's the. pressure's gone. No more pressure. You. know, I think we all of us, you know, especially like with social media and.

all the different, you know, things the. comparisons and the the judging. ourselves, judging others. But when you. just say, you know what, I just don't. care. You know, I. not in a bad way, not in a bad way where. you're being a mean girl or anything, but just really understanding that I am. not the same girl I used to be. I don't. move the same. I don't think the same. You know, things are different and I'm. not going to put that pressure on myself. anymore. >> everybody nodding behind you, so it. looks like you spoke for a whole. generation. >> She's being herself and being authentic, which is something that resonates a lot.

across generations now. So, let's talk. about family life. >> Pamela Liebman is the president of a. real estate firm here in New York City. What are you seeing among the. generations? I mean, most generations. can't I mean, younger Gen Z's can't even. afford to buy their own homes. >> Yeah, I mean, it's a real bummer and uh. I think Gen Z gets a really bad rap as. to why they can't buy and um it's so. interesting. I've learned a lot today. just even even hearing this, but you. know, back in 2007, 21% of home.

purchasers were first-time home buyers, right? Uh I'm sorry, the average age was. like 20 27, okay? It was 21% of the. market. Now, the average age is 40. 40. years old before you can afford to buy a. house. And Gen Z, I mean, they're just. coming out of a different situation. They're loaded with student debt. Prices are so high, so it's so hard to. save money. There was a survey done, they said, "If you could have one thing. given to you, what would it be?" And. they said a 20% down payment for a home.

>> Mhm. >> So, they just can't afford it. The rents. just came out today in New York. $5,000. average rent. Median home price in the. United States, almost $420,000. It's not a level playing field from. where it was. >> So, it's. you you have seen a trend even in your. working of older versus younger people. being able to afford homes. >> Absolutely. I've been in the business. for a long time and I remember someone. could come out of school, they didn't. have a ton of student debt, and they. would be able to buy a house. Maybe they.

had a little help from their parents, but maybe they were spending $200,000. or, you know, a minimal amount of money. Today, to buy a studio, if you're living. in one of these really expensive cities, for a million dollars, you're buying a. studio apartment. One of the saddest. things for me having seen this is the. American dream, a lot of wealth is built. on home ownership. Yeah. And if you. can't buy that first place and then sell. it to get another bigger place and. another one, you just never get to build. that. And we've seen historically what's.

happened when people are blocked from. doing that. >> Yeah. Thank you, Pamela. Thank you so. much. The Census Bureau has tracked a. rise in three or more generations living. under one roof. That's up since the. 1970s, and this video went viral when a. woman surprised four generations of her. family with a home for all of them. Take. a look at this. So great.

>> WELCOME. >> [screaming]. [screaming]. [laughter]. >> UH ALEXIS, THAT'S GREAT. >> [applause]. >> So tell us what made you decide to do. that, first of all? >> Yeah, um as a young person, I grew up. living in the same apartment complex as.

my family, so we all had multiple units. in the same building and we would bounce. around having family meals every night, watching, you know, the big games, and. uh sharing holidays together. And so, you know, it was all fun during the day, but then when it was night time, then it. was time to retreat back to our. individual units. And I just kind of. felt even as a young person, why are we. not just all in one house doing this? And so, um I made it a a life goal of. mine. >> [applause].

>> I I I I I love surprising people. So, how did you do it? What did you tell. them? Where were they going? Where did. they think they were going? >> So, my cousin, who was the one leading. them into the the house, um told them. that he was thinking about buying a. something that was a fixer-upper, told. them not to touch anything when they. went in there. He kind of just scooped. them up and asked them to come visit and. see this property he was interested in. And so, reluctantly, they were like, >> What? >> Yeah, I mean, I guess, sure, we can go. see it, but little did they know they. were literally on the way to their.

forever home. >> So, how are all the different different. generations. >> Yeah, honestly, it's very great, and I. think it, you know, is a bit different. than most people would expect. I'm sure. I'm in the minority of someone who's. able to live and exist in one house with. my family, but we have a close-knit um. family structure. Everyone kind of knows. their place. Everyone has their own. respective areas that they kind of own. in the home, which is why I'm It's. important to have a larger home for. these purposes. Um and everyone kind of. has their own responsibilities that they.

manage. >> And how has everybody living together? Has it Has it Has it helped uh everybody. financially? Has it helped. >> Absolutely. I think that, you know, the. big thing for me, just the older that I. got, at first, you know, as a young. person, it was more so just why why are. we doing this? Why are we all separate? But as I got older, I saw the financial. opportunity that there was of like, okay, there's not multiple sets of. utilities being paid. When you. consolidate, you know, everyone wins on. the back end financially. >> And everybody gets along, and it's going. along.

>> gets along, surprisingly. My brother's. out there right now grilling. We're. still. >> [applause]. >> So, all right, how do we make it better. in the workplace, Amanda? >> In the workplace, I think we have to. treat generations as prototypes, not. stereotypes. That means trying to bring. these groups together. They communicate. fundamentally differently, right? Um one. group is analog first, another group is. digital first. We have to get them. talking together. When you prototype. something, you keep what works and you. help them iterate on what doesn't cuz I.

think a big problem right now is. >> Well, how would we fit How do you. physically do that? It's one thing to. say, "Let's bring the two generations. together." So, as a Gen Xer, does she. invite the Gen Zer to lunch or does she. invite I I How How does that actually. happen in real life? >> I think it's about getting them to talk. about norms in a new way. Because we expect Gen Z to just know. these norms that we've all grown up. with, but they don't always know what. they don't know. So, as we shift from. this work as a noun to work as a verb,

really giving them space to kind of talk. about what normal looks like to them, what better could look like for all of. us. >> Okay, so is it important for the people. of the older generation, the Gen Xers. and the Boomers, and even now the. Millennials, y'all are getting older, to understand that the noun-verb analogy. is real for Gen Zers? >> I think it's important for everyone to. understand. I think it's important for. the Gen Zers to understand that. noun-verb analogy so they understand. their predecessors and it's under It's. important for us to understand them so.

that we can have more dialogue. >> Okay, so how do you get along when you. have expectations. for the generation. and as Brenda was saying in the. beginning, as an educator, those expe- expectations are just not. met. You don't follow the rules. You. don't show up on time. You don't turn in. your papers. You don't So, how how how. how are we going to bridge that divide? >> I think we got to name it to tame it.

So, we got to call it out and make sure. everyone understands how these each. generation see it. And then, I also think we have to kind. of ask all of ourselves the question, do. you want to be right or do you want to. make change? >> Okay. >> And I think that's especially important. for older generations. I gave a. presentation earlier in the week and I. had a gentleman come up to me afterwards. and say, "Oh, where is the presentation. for the Gen Z'ers? Like, this is all. these ideas from the Gen Z'ers for us, but who's telling them what to do?" And. my response to him was, "Do you want to. be right or do you want to make change?".

>> Got it. I like that. Jean, you end your. book writing about the future of the. economy, religion, race, politics, family, and work. What's your hope for. future generations, generations, generations, generations? >> I would say a couple of things. So, first, uh I do have a lot of hope for. Gen Z remaking the workplace in some. ways that are really good, that should. have happened decades ago. >> Like what? >> Um the mental health and wellness piece. I think especially bringing awareness to.

that, um bringing awareness to hey, you. know, we probably shouldn't be killing. ourselves to work. We should have some. more of that balance. We do need to. preserve um that mental health and. wellness. And maybe we should also cover. care for mental health just like we. cover health care for for physical. health to bring those equal. Um the. other thing that gives me hope is. a lot of my fellow Gen X moms and others. bringing attention to these issues.

around screens and phones for kids. So, bringing forward the idea of no phones. during the school day bell to bell, which has really started to sweep the. country. And then the next avenue after. that is. >> Even Demetrius is shaking his head. >> Yeah. I mean, this is the thing when. when when it's instituted even a lot of. high school students say, "This is. great." Sometimes they're reluctant at. first, but then they're talking to each. other at lunch. And they're doing all. things they're playing cards. They're I.

went to one school where they they were. bedazzling things together at lunch. So, I was like, "You got to tell me what. that is." It sound sounds really cool, but they're interacting face-to-face, developing those social skills, which. which need to have. >> we have Jonathan Haidt to thank for a. lot of that in the anxious generation. and also what's happening in what. happened in Australia. >> Yes. >> with the with the banning of social. media for kids under 16. Yeah. >> Exactly. Uh and then the next frontier. is maybe we should not be handing. kindergarteners iPads. >> Ain't that the truth. [applause].

iPads as babysitters. >> Jean's book is called Generations and. Amanda Schneider's. >> book is Work for What's Next. Uh and all. three are available now wherever you buy. your books. Melanie has a new book now. called The Official We Do Not Care Club. Handbook and coloring Oh, there's a. coloring book, too. >> It's coming. It's coming. >> [laughter]. >> I want to have coloring book parties all. around the US and we just color and talk.

and forget what we're talking about and. talk about something else. Thanks to all my guests. I'll see you. next time. Go well. Thank you. >> If you are interested in learning more. about how all the generations [music]. compare, compete, and connect with one. another, get a copy of Jean Twenge's. book Generations: The Real Differences. Between [music] Gen Z, Millennials, Gen. X, Boomers, and Silence and What They. Mean for America's Future. Her research. helps us understand how technology. [music].

is the driving force between generations. and explains what we can expect of each. other in the future. Scan the QR code. right there on your screen [music]. to buy the book. >> You may be surprised what you learn. about the different generations in your. own life. >> Amanda Schneider's book [music] Work for. What's Next: Why Workplace Culture Is. Failing and How the Next Generation Can. Fix It explains [music]. how America's outdated norms in the. workplace are holding us back and how to. move past generational stereotypes. >> [music]. >> To buy a copy of her book, scan the QR. code on your screen now.

>> Melanie Sanders' New York Times. bestseller The Official We Do Not. [music] Care Club Handbook: A Hot Mess. Guide for Women in Perimenopause, menopause, and beyond who are over. [music] it. It's available now. Scan the. QR code on the screen to buy Melanie's. book. Our listeners tell us [music] that the. podcast is resonating with you and is. serving as a bright spot in your day. That means a lot to me. So, >> [music]. >> here's the thing. I would really. appreciate it if you like and subscribe.

to the Oprah podcast on YouTube or. wherever you podcast. It's just a quick. tap of the subscribe button and that way. you [music] won't miss an episode in. your queue. You don't have to pay. anything. I know subscribe usually means. you're paying something, but this time. it means you just are notified [music]. when there's something new. There are. many more to come that we're excited. about. So, thank you for watching and. listening.