Elizabeth Gilbert: "All the Way to the River" | Oprah's Book Club

HEY, EVERYBODY. ELIZABETH GILBERT! >> [cheering]. [screaming]. >> YES, ELIZABETH GILBERT. >> [cheering and applause]. >> HELLO. HELLO. >> Did y'all believe this book? Whoa, huh? Wow. I said, "Elizabeth, [music] honey child, >> [laughter]. >> what you been doing in there?". >> My 118th book club pick. It was written. by the brilliant. Elizabeth Gilbert.

>> [applause]. >> And it's called All the Way to the. River. All the Way to the River. It's about. love. and loss and liberation. And it may. shock you with some of its surprising. revelations and it's raw honesty, but it. will cause you to look deeply into your. own psyche, your own consciousness, and. examine why you do the things you do and. why you've made the choices you've made. That's how you know you've written a.

Because although it's about you and your. life and your life with Rayya, it also. causes everybody to think about their. own and their crazy-ass choices you. might have made [laughter]. a- along along the way. >> Oprah, to make everybody think about the. crazy-ass choices they made [laughter]. along the way. >> Many people have the idea that you have. already eaten. and prayed. and loved your way through your demons.

You have you have f- it all figured out. >> Mhm. >> But this book is so revealing and. gorgeously written. It's an account of. what happened after your second divorce, when you fell in love with your partner, >> Yeah. >> Rayya. >> In 2016, Elizabeth announced to her. followers on social media that she was. ending her 9-year marriage to the man. she met [music] and fell in love with at. the end of her best-selling memoir Eat, Pray, Love.

Two months later, in another social. media post, Elizabeth revealed she was. in love with her best friend. >> [music]. >> of 15 years, Rayya Elias. At the time, Rayya was diagnosed with. pancreatic and liver cancer. Doctors. told her she had 6 months to live. >> [music]. >> In 2017, the couple celebrated with what. Elizabeth calls a simple, spontaneous. ceremony of love. >> I might not be that long that I'm. around. But I'll forever love you.

>> Rayya died at the age of 57 [music] in. 2018. >> It's so interesting because you talk in. the beginning of the book about Rayya. coming to visit you on your 54th. birthday. Tell us that. >> Okay. Yeah, we'll we'll start with that. Um so, on the morning of my 54th. birthday, I woke up and I felt that. Rayya was in the room with me. This isn't going to be shocking to a lot. of people who've had people that they. love die. >> Right. >> I feel some nods in the room happening. already. >> Right.

>> Sometimes the the line between death and. life is very thin. These thin places. And spirit comes through. >> She'd come to you before, though, right? >> to me before. She'd been very deeply. present in the immediate aftermath of. her death. I felt like we were in. constant conversation. I felt like she. was living inside my head and the. conversation had never ended. And then. as the years went by, that that was sort of lost, you know, um. and and I couldn't feel her as much. But. I I woke up and she was in the room and. she was in the room with this very. commanding energy. And those of you. who've read the book know that Rayya had.

a very commanding energy. And she was. like, "I've got something to tell you. and it's extremely important." And I. grabbed my journal that's always by my. bed and I started to transcribe what I. was hearing. And what she was saying was. >> Okay, did could you see her? Do you see. her? >> can't see her. I can hear her. >> Okay. >> And it's the same, actually, my. relationship with God is very similar. I. don't see things, but I hear. I hear a. voice that I know is God. I heard a. voice that I knew was Raya. >> And you knew it was Raya. >> I knew it was Raya. And I I just grabbed. this notebook and as trying to keep up. with her. >> Yeah. >> started writing down, which is the.

beginning first chapter of the book in. which she says to me and at that point. she'd been dead for five five and a half. six years. Yes. She said, "It's time for. you to write this book. It's time for. you to tell this story. It's time for. you to tell the entire story. Don't hold. anything back. Go in her words full punk. rock with it. >> punk rock. >> all on the table. >> Uh-huh. >> Don't protect my dignity. Don't protect. your dignity. It's time to write. >> cuz I don't need dignity. I'm dead. >> I'm dead. I don't need dignity. And she. said, "But you don't need it either.". >> Yeah. >> And and actually it's going to help.

people. And and I knew it to be Raya. because when Raya was in her right mind, when she was sober and clean, there was. nobody who loved the truth more. And. there was nobody who was more willing to. put the truth out on the table and say, "Let's just put this out on the table so. that we can deal with it cuz we can't. deal with it unless we see what it is, right?" That was her great talent was. for deep truth. And so I started writing. the book that day and I didn't want to. write the book. I mean there was a. reason that six years had passed since. her death and I had not written this. book despite a lot of people saying.

>> You should write it. >> you to tell the story the love story. about you and Raya." I'm like, "I don't. know if you can handle the love story. about me and Raya.". >> Yeah. Yeah. >> like I like if I'm going to put out. there what actually occurred, it's very. dark. It doesn't reflect well on either. one of us at multiple points and and I. also didn't want to relive the trauma. You know, I was like this was the most. traumatic thing I ever went through. >> Yeah. >> Talk about that. >> to say considering who you are in the. world and the world's impression of who. you are in the world, this is the. bravest thing I've ever seen.

>> Mhm. >> It's just the bravest thing. >> Mhm. >> Because you could have just kept this. story to yourself and allowed people to. think that you had eaten and prayed and. loved and everything was still just. perfectly okay. >> Mhm. >> But instead, as I said, you have opened. up your soul in such a way. This book is. going to free so many people. I think. that what Raya had said to you, like. write the [ __ ] out of this thing, that. you actually did do that and did it in.

such a way that. I I I remember years ago on the Oprah. show trying to explain what love. addiction was. And it's so hard to. explain it to people because. our culture tells us that's what we're. supposed to be. You're supposed to be in. love and you're supposed to give all and. you're supposed to do all of that stuff. This audience has read the book and I. hear you all devoured it. So, why did. you love it, Tawana? >> Hello. Well, I loved the book because. I'm the daughter of. mother who struggles with the substance.

use disorder and I think it really. impressed upon me the importance of. grace and how deserving everyone is, including those who struggle with the. substance use disorder, how deserving. they are of love, of deep love. And. there is a tendency to want to fix it. But I think this just gave some insider. information to the depth of emotion and. the ups and downs and consequence, but. also joy and happiness that we sometimes. can't understand because we're so busy.

trying to to fix. >> To fix it. >> How about you, Cassidy? Where's Cassidy? >> Hi. >> Hi. I I have to say I didn't read books. before this and I have never felt so. connected to a book as this one. And I. just want to say I myself have gone. through journeys of addiction and love. and. grieving a loss right now. And being. able to understand really the truth of. where I've been and how codependency. really has shaped the way of where I'm. at in life and how to embrace it, but. also it's helped me understand how to.

put some boundaries in place and to. embrace the fact that yes, I. understanding my own addictions to love. and sex and codependency and being able. to see where I'm at today and. um with my inner child and showing her. what's coming up next is very exciting. So, thank you. >> Thank you. Thank you. >> So, you'd been best friends with Raya. for many years. She started out as your. hairdresser. >> Yes. >> Uh she was my hairdresser and then. became a social friend and then became a. neighbor and then became my best friend. and then became something I no longer.

had words for because I didn't know that. I was slowly falling in love with her, but I was also slowly giving my power to. her. Um I was you know, over time I came. >> came to But you wanted to in the. beginning. >> Oh, all I've ever wanted to do is give. my power to somebody, Oprah. >> Yes. >> You know, all I've ever wanted to do is. be like who is who is who's got me? You know, like who do I have to give. this to so that they will take care of. me completely so that I don't have to do. it. >> One of the one of the headings in the. book I love is uh will you be my home?

>> Yeah. >> Because remember Babe the Pig when he'd. go up to all everybody and say, "Will. you be my mom? Will you be my mom?" And. your will you be my home. >> desperate. >> is like the desperation. >> Yes. >> of Babe the Pig. Will you be my mom? Because you just want somebody to love. >> Who's going to take care of me? >> Who's going to take care of me? >> Right? Now, here's the irony which some. of you may also recognize in your own. lives. Every single person I ever. thought was going to take care of me, I. ended up taking care of, but only 100%. of the time. Right? >> [laughter].

>> Every woman in the room is like, "Yes, I. know." You know, like you know, I'm. looking for like who's the hero who's. going to rescue me, right? And then I. give myself to them. and then I end up having to take care of. them and I end up empty because I've now. emptied myself into somebody. The I have. a my friend Emma who's who's British. says, "It's bad maths, Liz. It's bad. maths." The maths of of codependency. goes like this. I'm going to take all. the love and all the resources and. everything that I have and everything I. am and I'm going to pour it into you.

and then I'm going to stand outside of. you like I'm standing outside a pawn. shop begging you to give me some of it. back. Right? I'm going to beg you to. give me some love. Meanwhile, I've just. emptied myself of all that I contain. into you, and now I'm going to beg for. scraps. And And I've heard it called a. crumaholic, too. I'm going to beg for. crumbs. I'm going to beg for scraps. Now, that's bad math, right? It's like, what if we cut out the middleman? And you just pour all of that love and. resources into yourself, right? But I.

didn't know how to do that, and I didn't. think I was worthy of that. And I was. taught by my culture that what you do is. you you go out and you know, especially. women are taught this. >> Yes. >> You know, you get loved by pouring in, and then you hope that you get some. back. >> That's right. >> and and and you give up and give up and. sacrifice and sacrifice for this person. >> This is why we write later in the book. that women who are married. uh end up being unhappier because. they've given, given, given, given, given. Where on the other hand, the men.

who are married are just fine because. they're the ones who are being taken. care of. They're the ones who everybody. is pouring everything into. >> This is called the marriage benefit. imbalance. And marriage is a very good. deal for men. It's not a good deal for. women. I don't know what the statistics. are in same-sex marriages cuz I don't. think it's been studied. But But the. question remains, who's playing the. traditional role of the wife in this. relationship? Meaning, who's overgiving? Right? Who is overgiving to somebody. with the hope that they will maybe give. love back to them? And I think the.

reason that it's so hard that love. addiction and sex addiction have not. really gotten the prominence that. alcohol and substance abuse is is. because first of all, it's really. working for men. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> It's like, it's really working for them, you know? And it And so I think the. stories that keep being fed to girls of. like, you're going to find your prince. and he's going to take care of you, um. continually keep pushing girls and women. into this dream where the reality is. you're probably very likely going to end. up taking care of him.

>> Yes. Now, you write on page 35, "I've caused tremendous harm to myself. and others through my decades of sex and. love addiction." Now, we all know that. there are amazing manifestations of how. this shows up in everybody's life. But. for me, that sentence and the passage that. follows is the fundamental reason for. everything else that follows in this. book. And I wanted you to read the text. passage for us from page 35. Begins with. "There are not a lot of women.".

>> There are not a lot of women out there. who will publicly admit to being sex and. love addicts because it sounds pretty. gnarly. In fact, it is gnarly. I won't. get into salacious details here, but I. will say that my addiction manifests as. a sincere yet deeply misguided belief. that somebody outside of myself will. miraculously be able to heal me on the. inside, thereby making me feel safe, cherished, and whole at last. In real. life terms, this translates as a. desperate need to have my existence.

constantly authenticated and. reauthenticated through a romantic. partner's touch, eye contact, verbal. reassurance, acts of love, or mere. physical presence. My desperation to be loved is certainly. outsized, and it has caused me to act. out in ways that are undeniably insane. Yet I suspect that parts of my story may. feel familiar to many of my readers, especially my female readers who, like. me, may have been socialized since birth. to believe that they did not possess. much inherent value, but were estimable.

only in so far as they were capable of. making themselves attractive enough to. be chosen. >> Mhm. >> Failing to succeed in this massively. important project of proving yourself. worthy of being chosen meant that you. were a failure, and that nothing else. you ever manifested would have much. significance in anybody's eyes. >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> You believe that you suffer from what is. known as process addiction. So, what is. that? which is different than substance. addiction, which is what Raya was was.

>> Right. >> afflicted with. >> So, substance addiction addictions are. addictions to chemicals that you take in. through alcohol, through drugs, um. nicotine, you know, your body becomes. dependent upon these substances and and. you're physiologically need them, legal, illegal drugs. Process addictions are addictions to. certain behaviors. Um but what happens. is that your brain chemistry actually is. changed by these behaviors. And so, people who, like me, may have a very. insecure attachment disorder, um or may.

have had traumatic incidences in their. childhood that led them to have a lot of. trouble knowing where boundaries are or. knowing who to trust or knowing how to. find safety. It's been estimated that. people with process addictions get. approximately 10 times amount of the hit. off of various activities that other. people do. So, gambling is a process. addiction, shopping, spending money, um overeating is a. process addiction, sex and intimacy and. deep need for connection is a process.

addiction. So, where you a normal. person, whatever that is, might feel. some warmth and some tenderness when you. have physical touch with somebody, I get. high off it. Like I get a dump of. oxytocin into my blood system that is so. high that my my system then. kind of acclimates to that and then it. needs it again. Um and then it needs it again and then. it needs, just like any addiction, it. needs a higher and higher dose. >> by your need to be loved is so out. sized, so out sized? And falling in love.

for you is like a drug cuz you said on. page 38, "I don't need alcohol and drugs. to alter my consciousness that other. people might experience pleasurable. sensations. I get wasted.". >> wasted and I lose my judgement. I lose. my dignity. Um and very soon it will end up with me. begging. Right? I'm begging like and I need you. to look at me the way you used to look. at me. I need you to touch me the way. you used to touch me. I need to get high. off of that and I will do anything to. stimulate that. I'll do anything. So, I.

will give you all my money. Um I'll buy you presents. I'll I'll. abandon my responsibilities for you. I. will throw my entire life away. completely and immediately, right? So. quickly, like so quickly. I will. disappear like and I'll be looking into. your face. What do you need me to be? Who do you need me to be? So that you. will give me back what I just gave to. you, which is all my power. >> Were you this way in your Were you this. way in your relationship with the man. you married at the end of Eat, Pray,

Love? >> A little bit, but um I I want to be. careful not to talk about that much just. out of respect to somebody who I still. love so dearly. Um but but it didn't get. triggered as hard. It it It mostly and. more gets triggered by unavailable. people. Um and and there's. >> [laughter]. >> Let the church say. The church went amen. when they're not available. >> really get high off someone who will. probably destroy me, right? Like that's.

a little bit of a But but but there's a. reason for that and I was taught I was. taught this when I when I first came. into recovery, a very wise older woman. said. and you can all play this game at home. List five adjectives to describe your. childhood. So, I you know, I'll throw out creative, fascinating, cold, difficult, withholding. Now, if I meet somebody. who is a description of those five. things, that smells like home cooking to.

me. That's home. There's something in my. nervous system that's like, oh, that's. home. >> Oh, somebody's withholding, you are. going to be drawn to that. >> 100% creative, stimulating, dangerous. Yeah. That's That just feels like home. And I think karmically what it is, to use a word or maybe there's a. psychological reason for this. What I'm trying to do is I'm trying to. recreate home, but this time it works. >> Yeah. >> Right? So. >> This time it's really going to be. different. >> This time is the two favorite words of.

an addict. You know, well this time is going to be. different cuz this time Like this time. and and what I'm trying to do is I'm. trying to control a trauma response. >> Yeah. >> So it's like if I can find somebody to. play that out with who is brilliant and. creative and dangerous and with. >> I'm withholding and scary and exciting. >> Now I as adult I'm like, well my child's. self is like, well let's now do this, but this time we're going to figure out. a way that they're going to love us. >> But the way. >> So then when they do it's like the child. is healed. Until they don't. >> Until they don't. >> And then we relive that trauma all over.

again. >> The reason why all the way to the river. was such a shock to me and I'm assuming. you all too is cuz we thought you of all. people had it all figured out. >> [laughter]. >> We thought you had it all figured out. >> And then to come to find out not only. did you not have it all figured out. >> I didn't have any of IT FIGURED OUT. >> [laughter]. >> NO, BUT EVEN WHEN THE OKAY, SO let's. talk about this for a moment. Talk about.

this this when fame hits you like that. >> Mhm. >> Cuz Eat Pray Love was this phenomenon. It really was. And Julia Roberts is. playing you in the film and the checks. are coming from the book and the movie. and all of a sudden you have all of this. money. What did that do? The fact that. you couldn't receive it and accept it. Tell us the story that you share in the. book [laughter]. about going down the street giving away. your money. >> Okay, so.

here's what I want to say about Eat Pray. Love. I was 34. >> Okay. >> right? But I was precocious, but I did. at the end of Eat Pray Love feel that I. had healed, that I had landed on a bunch. of things, but also look what I did. I. left a man for another man. >> Yeah. >> And then I was heartbroken by that, and. then I went out in the world and I had a. few adventures, and then I met another. man. >> Yeah. >> You know, um so when I watch Eat Pray. Love now, and I love the movie, and I. thought they did be And of course we. love Julia. >> Yeah. >> I look at that film and I'm like, look. at this woman, it's 2 hours long, she's.

with three different men. Right? Look what you're doing. >> I love that part about that part. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Right? >> Uh-huh. >> The answer that I the best solution I. could always come up with was find. somebody better so find somebody. different. Who's the person who's going. to who are you going to take care of me. now, right? So so some of the people. that I chose for that role in my life. were better at it than others. The man. who I married was was very good at. loving me. >> Mhm. >> Um so so that kept me sort of sedated. for a while, but that didn't mean that.

my central core wound was healed. Right? I was I feel like I was I was. being nicely sedated by somebody being. very kind and loving. But to you ask. your question, the the addiction was. always there. An addict is an addict is. an addict. Right? The addiction was. always there. >> Okay. >> Um and the deep what they call in the. rooms the god-sized hole was always. there. It's a hole that is so big that. it doesn't matter what you put into it, it won't fill it. >> So. >> Fame, you can pour fame into it, it's. going to go right out the back. You can. pour money into it, it's going to go.

right out the back. You can pour. somebody's true love into it, it's going. to go right out the back. >> Yeah. >> There's a hole. The only thing that's. going to fill it is God. >> Yes. >> The only thing that can fill an infinite. hole is infinite source. Right? So we'll. get to that later, I presume. >> Yes. Yes. >> but but I suddenly became really rich, and I had such a low sense of self-worth. that I was like, well, I this is a. karmic accident. I'm not I was never. supposed to be somebody who was rich. I. was supposed to be a starving artist. I. can't even hold this money without.

feeling deeply uncomfortable with it. It's not mine. Like the feeling I had was it's not. mine. It's coming to me, but it's not. mine. It's for whoever wants it, which. is also how I've always felt about my. body. >> Wow. >> It's not mine. It's for whoever wants. it. So, the. >> So, you opened yourself up to that. >> So, the incident that you are discussing. [laughter] is that I walked down the. streets of my small town in New Jersey. and started just giving money to people. I started walking into local businesses. It was after um 2008 after the stock.

market crashed and I was like, "Oh, these people need Like when wherever. there was a need, I was like, "Oh, they. need it." You know, and there is a I. believe I'm a deeply generous person. >> But, this was crazy. >> Yeah. >> Like this is crazy. I was walking up to. strangers and being like. >> person, too, BUT I'M NOT THAT. >> [laughter]. >> YOU KNOW, I THINK I THINK responsibility. comes with general You have to be able. to give money to people who know what to. do with that money, and they're going to. use that money in a way. >> I going to know how to do that? >> Okay, okay. [clears throat]. >> Right? How am I going to know how to do.

that? >> walking down the street and going like. >> Whoever, whatever, anybody. >> Anybody. >> need any money? >> Who? >> Does anybody need anything from me? You. know, and and then Time magazine is. like, "We're going to name you as one of. the 100 most influential people in the. world." And I'm like, "Okay, now. everybody needs me." Right? So, I'm just. going to show up as the giver because. that's part of my Like that's what I'm. going to do. I'm going to over give. That's all I know how to do. I'm going. to over give of my love, of my heart, of. my pocketbook, of my wallet. >> just give people money and you say, "Here, take this." People would be happy.

about it, but you ended up in lawsuits, you ended up with people being upset. that they didn't get anything. >> Yes. >> A stew of resentments and problems and. issues and you know, some of those. people I'm still friends with, but they. were still the people who loved me. before I had money. They loved me anyway. I was just. throwing money at them because I have a. psychosis, right? But, like they were. just like they loved me anyway. Some of. those people cross the street when they. see me coming, you know, because we got. into such resentment and difficulty and. codependency. One of the my favorite. lines of the book is my definitions of.

codependency and one of them is um the. codependent's motto, you you break it, we fix it, right? Um and and so if you. give a codependent a ton of money, you know, all I'm going to do is try to. use it to fix everything cuz if I can. fix the world and make the world okay, then I'll be okay. >> Okay. >> In the same bad math as if I can love. you so much, then you'll love me, and. then I'll be okay. And meanwhile, someone in here is not getting taken. care of at all. >> So let's get to Reya's. uh cancer diagnosis and what happened.

after that. So she's diagnosed with. cancer. >> Yeah. So she was diagnosed with terminal. pancreatic and liver cancer and given 6. months to live. By that point, she was. firmly established in my consciousness. as the most important person in my life, my ground of being, my foundation. I now. see I had made her into my higher power. Um and I've heard addiction described as. false worship, right? You make something. into your god. You make the alcohol into. your god. You make the drug into your. god. I made her into my god. So now I'm. losing my god. Like it's not just that. she's dying and my friend is dying. It's.

like I won't The feeling I had was I. will not survive this. This is a world. not living in without Reya, and it I. don't know how to take care of myself. She's the one who makes me feel like I'm. taken care of. And in the aftermath of. that, I finally found a word for what it was. that I was feeling for. I was like, "Oh, I'm in love with this person.". And and I can't let her and I still see. that there was no other way this was. going to go given who we were and what. the realities of our spirits were.

I couldn't let her die. without letting her know that you are. not just my friend. You are the love of. my life. >> Right. And so you told her? >> Yeah, I told my husband first. >> Yes, good. >> Um but I told her and and very quickly. my husband and I separated, and I went. to be with Reya. >> Had Is she She had moved into your house. by that time? >> I had a couple houses, and she was. living in one of them. >> Yes, she was living in the church house. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Yeah. So here's here's an. interesting thing cuz I thought, you. know, so many of us do this. You know, I live.

by this principle of intention, understanding that whatever you intend. is actually going to determine the. outcome. So, I love this moment where. you've invited her to come and to stay. at the house, and you've invited her for 9 months, and. then that time is up. You wanted her to. continue to stay, so you offer her the. opportunity to write her own book. You. make her an offer that she cannot. refuse. >> Yeah. >> Cuz who's going to turn down that? And. if you stay here, you can just live. here. You can just live here for free. Who's going to turn down that? But, the.

real reason you were doing it, your real. intention was you had a fear of losing. her. >> Yeah. >> And that I'm going to hold you to this. contract of writing a book, and it's. going to look like if you're writing a. book, but really it's keeping you in my. life because I'm I'm too afraid to lose. you. >> And that was when we were just friends. Yes. So, she had come out and lived at. this church that I had that I was. offering to people to use as an artist. residency for 9 months. And at the end of that 9 months, I had. realized who she was. And what it did to my nervous system.

when she walked in to the room was that. I calmed down when Reya was there. I felt this absence of something that. I'd felt my whole life, which was this. low-grade terror that I've always had of. everyone in the room. Cuz Reya handled. people so well that when she came into. the room, I felt deeply safe. And that. sense of safety that I could not provide. for myself, that she was able to. provide, made me completely dependent on. her. And what I did when I said, "Why. don't you stay?". was a little something we call.

manipulation. >> Yes. >> And I feel like this is the part of the. book where. perhaps I most reveal. the parts of myself I don't want anybody. to know about me. But, it was like, I. can't live without you. I don't know how to take care of myself. I'm terrified of the world. Your. presence makes me feel like the world. isn't scary. What am I going to have to. do to make sure that you don't leave? And you're not my romantic partner and. I'm married. Right? So I was like, oh, I'm going to. generously offer you a a writing grant.

Um it's just so that you can stay. Then. this is me pulling the strings of. somebody else's life to get what I want, which is what addicts do. Right? You lose your integrity and you. start manipulating people, places, and. things to get the drug that you need. because at that point I was using her as. a sedative. >> Okay. When she starts to. drink the bitters or take the bitters. and you look the other way.

and you realize, oh, the bitters are. like what? >> 47% alcohol. >> 47% alcohol. She's not supposed to be. taking alcohol or drinking alcohol and. she tells you, comes to you and says. babe, do you mind if if if I have a. glass of wine because other friends of. mine have said that I should have some. wine and you say yes. But inside. yourself you know that that's not the. right answer. Or do you? >> I I was pretty I'm pretty good at. compartmentalizing.

>> Yes, uh-huh. >> [laughter]. >> You know, I often think, I don't know if. you all have this, but like I think. there's things that some parts of us. don't allow other parts of us to know. yet. >> because we can't handle it. So Raya was. an addict in recovery. She had at that. point 17 years sober. >> Mhm. >> She was a heroin and drug addict. In the. rooms of 12-step recovery, it is an. acknowledged truth that there is no. difference between substances when it. comes to addiction and although she was. a drug addict, she should not be. drinking alcohol cuz that is also a. mind-altering substance and sobriety is.

I do not take mind-altering substances, right? So if when she suddenly said that. she wanted to start drinking. you know, there was like a little part. of me that was like, is that a good idea. for somebody who like lived on the like. a low bottom addict, like jails, institutions, that like sort of good. idea, you know, but she was also very. convincing that it was fine. And the. bottom line was I I say in the book I. overlooked it rather than looking it. over. Because I couldn't have there be any.

flaws with my God. >> Yes. Cuz by this time you've made her. into a god. >> Yes. >> I love what you say early on in the. book, page nine. What we commonly call. an addict, I believe, is just an. exaggerated version of all of us. Just a. person so desperately in search of. relief from the sting of life that they. will use anything or anyone to soothe. it. I hope for your own sake that you've. never fallen quite as low as Rhea and I. fell at some point during our journey. together, but even if your wheels have.

never fully come off, I suspect at some. level that I might be you and that you. might be me. And that all of us might be. Rhea. Can you expand on what an addict is? Just a exaggerated version of all of us. >> It's extremely uncomfortable being a. spirit in human form. >> Yes. >> I don't personally believe that we come. from this planet. I think we visit here. And I think we make this decision to. come to what I call and many people call. Earth School.

>> Yeah, I believe that too. >> And I believe it is the toughest. curriculum in the It is a highly. accredited school. I don't care how. privileged you were, you know this and I. know this, there's nobody who moves. through the experience of Earth School. without trauma. And. and then there are these magical. substances. >> Yeah. >> that you can take that ease that pain. And then there are these amazing people. you can meet who seem to be able to ease. that pain. There are these activities. that you can do that can make you numb. out. There's ways that you can escape. your curriculum. And I think addiction is what happens.

when the escape. that first it always feels good at. first, right? It's like, okay, here's. relief. When the relief becomes a. problem. >> During Reya's last year of life, award-winning filmmaker Mark J. Francis. followed Liz and Reya through some. extraordinary moments of love, loss, and. their search for meaning. >> I'm just asking. for a little grace, a little mercy.

So. Please help me. Okay. I'm like a chick that likes to keep me. drugged up. Yeah, that's. that's me. Little Miss Connie Sachs. >> The film titled Here I Am will be. released in 2026. For more information, go to www.speakit.org.

[music]. >> So, how soon after she moved in and you. all were together, did it start to. spiral? >> Uh I'm pretty good at holding things. together, but but I would say that I. became aware. pretty early on that. Oh god, it's like it's I'm watching my. mind go back and forth between denial. and realization. Denial and realization. Denial and realization. I mean, any of.

you who have ever been in a difficult. relationship would also probably find. that question hard to answer. When did. you know? Well, you kind of always knew, but then you also kind of never knew. I. don't know but it's almost like having a. head injury. >> Mhm. >> Um like honestly, you know, it's like. what was I doing? Um but but I will say. this, very quickly she became somebody. who I was deeply reliant upon. Um and. very quickly that reliance started to. create anxiety in me. Like what am I going to do if she goes?

Like what am I going to do if I lose. >> And was the diagnosis still six months? You still working on a six month or. we're talking about right after she was. >> Yeah. oh sorry. So right after she was. diagnosed with with cancer. very quickly I left my marriage to go. and be with her. The diagnosis was 6 months. And we kind of went on a bender. together. I mean there was also there. was the trauma and the drama of you've. got 6 months to live, but there was also. we've been in love with each other for a. long time and we've both been keeping.

our hands to ourselves and been very. good. You know, she had also been in. love with me during that time as it. turned out and so we had all the heady. excitement and joy of being newly in. love at the same time as the terror and. the trauma of death. So it was a very. heightened time. Something I've learned a lot about in. recovery is addiction to excitement. And addiction to drama. And when you have a unregulated nervous.

system and you don't know how to soothe. yourself, addiction to drama can be a. way that you act out. And what I've learned now is that I was. always afraid of being bored, so I've. always had a very high drama, high. octane, high excitement life. But somebody in the rooms explained it. to me that. excitement and boredom. are just two sides of the same coin and. that coin is actually called anxiety. And when Yeah, so when serenity's not on.

the menu. when you don't know how to regulate. yourself, when you don't know how to. feel well, when you don't know how to be. okay and you feel the anxiety that comes. with that, you've got two choices. You. can feel restless, irritable and. discontent, bored. or you can go override the feeling of. anxiety by piling on a whole bunch of. excitement, adrenaline addiction, cortisol addiction, right? If you grow. up with a lot of drama and trauma, your. body actually gets used to very high. levels of cortisol and adrenaline and.

that also feels like home. >> That's right. >> So, we went on an adrenaline ride. >> That's why some people just thrive in. chaos. >> Yes. Yes. >> Seemingly, they thrive in chaos. >> Yes. >> There was a point in your relationship. where you write that you were trapped in. hell. >> Yeah. >> Right? And you said you could see no way. out. The apartment that you were renting. became a dungeon of misery and and and. danger and degradation. >> Yeah. >> And this was like in New York City. >> Yeah. >> a two-bedroom.

>> apartment I rented for my. >> Yes. >> partner so she would be happy in the. last months of her life, and then she. started taking all the opioids for the. pain, for the cancer, and then that just. triggered fully an addiction that. [music] I think had been getting. triggered for a long time since she'd. started drinking. She added cocaine, she. added cigarettes, she added trazodone, she added methadone, she added I mean, suddenly there was like a cocktail of. drugs in her, and she became a full-on. junkie. >> And then I honestly bring a cigarette. and then I smoke it.

>> Do it. >> And she wasn't a very nice one. Um her nephew at one point said to me, "I wish I wish Auntie Rae was a nicer. drug addict." Um but she wasn't. She was. a really mean drug addict. >> of things would she say to you? >> She was abusive. She was abusive and. degrading and demanding and entitled and. and you know, I'm a little good little. codependent, so you know, you started. using me, I'm going to work harder to. make you happy. And so we got into that. cycle really, really quickly. >> point, you were going to the free clinic. for needles. >> Oh, yeah. And I got recognized there,

Oprah. I went to the free clinic to get. needles for my drug addict partner in it. down in Chinatown at a New York City. needle exchange. And I walked in and the. woman went, "Oh my god, it's" and then. she remembered it's an anonymous. program. >> [laughter]. >> You're not supposed to be like, "I know. you" when people come in to get needles. for their drug addiction. She hands me a. clipboard and I fill it out that I'm a. heroin addict. And the whole time she's looking at me. like, "I love your books." You know, and. I'm like, "I'm a heroin addict and I. need some needles." And she's like, "Okay.".

Um but I didn't want Ray to have to go. down there cuz that would have been. shameful for her. So, I'll do it. Like that's how good an enabler I am. I'll do that for you. I will go get your. needles. >> you What did you feel when the woman. recognized you and you were there to get. free needles? >> a funny story. Actually, it is fun I. mean it is it is objectively a funny. story. I mean she she looked at me and. she was like, "Oh my god, Elizabeth. Gilbert." And then she was like, "Oh my. god, I'm so sorry." And then there's no. there's no like playbook for what do you. do when you're at a needle exchange. getting. You know, and you're like a best-selling. author and like somebody meets their.

hero and it's you, but you're picking up. needles for heroin. Like there's no So, this is how I handled it. I just went. >> [laughter]. >> What is that? I'm like, what am I even. telling her? >> [laughter]. >> Like I'm like a little wink like a. little kissy. I'm like, I don't even know what this. means or why I'm doing this, but I'm. like, "Hey, we're just you know, doing. this." Um. yeah, and I was paying for her cocaine. and I was um taking you know, I was.

giving her whatever she wanted so that. she would love me again. >> Uh when I got to the chapter titled. Plotting, weren't you all just like I thought, "Whoa, what is going on here?" You. reached a point where you actually. thought about murdering her. >> Yeah. >> And also killing yourself or murdering. her and. >> I was going to kill her. And then and then I realized I couldn't. because she was too cunning. She kind of. smelled it in the air. And then I was. like, "Oh, oh I could just again cut out.

the middleman and I could just kill me.". Um and that was my rock bottom. >> read the beginning of this chapter for. us? >> Yeah. I say in the book, "I'm the nice lady. who wrote Eat, Pray, Love and I was. going to murder. I was actually going to murder. Uh it. was in July of 2017 that I came up with. a really good idea for what would save. me from the nightmare that I was now. trapped in with Raya, I decided I would. kill her. >> So, how low had it gotten at that point? >> That's how low it had gotten.

You know, um and I hadn't slept in. weeks. I was absolutely in the lowest of. my degradation of codependency enabling. Like my life had become sort of Sid and. Nancy. >> Mhm. >> You know, just this this I I was acting. in ways and doing things that I never. imagined I could have done, but that. wasn't why I was upset. I was upset. because she was being mean to me. I was. upset because the person who I had. created as my god, who would take care. of me, was being abusive um and had. taken her love from me, which I was now.

the end game always of codependency. begging her, begging a junkie to give me. right? So, we were both in. >> Begging the junkie to give you and to be. nice to me. >> Begging a heroin addict who was shooting. cocaine between her. toes and into her neck to give me. safety, nourishment, and. >> love. This person is going to give me. safety, nourishment, and love. >> Wow. >> Right? That's where we had gotten to. And there's a moment where. you know, when I tried to kill her and. then she kind of figured out I was.

trying to kill her and she was like, "Don't you start plotting against me.". Um I mean, she was a street start smart. survival. Nobody was going to kill Raya. >> Yeah. >> But there was a divine moment of. intervention there where I heard God's. voice and I was very far from God at. that point. When you're deep in. addiction, you're very very far from. being able to hear God's voice, but. God's voice penetrated that insanity. >> Tell us what God's voice said. >> said, "If you have reached a point in. your life. where you are seriously considering. killing yourself or somebody else, you have very likely reached the end of.

your power. That being the case, perhaps you should. call somebody and ask for help.". >> And you did. >> And I did. And I spent the rest of that. day sobbing, sitting in a dog park in. New York City. calling person after person, anybody who. had experience with drug addiction, and. just pulling wisdom down. And what was. really interesting was that I was trying. to get them to figure out how to help me. get Raya off drugs. But what they were saying to me was, "You have a problem.". Somebody said, "You need.

>> occurred to you that you had a problem? >> No. No. I had a problem. Her name was. Raya. I had to fix her. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> You know, but I didn't know I had a. problem. I'm the person who takes care. of everybody and fixes them. So, what I. was being told, and what a friend of. mine very gently said was, "I've watched. you now, Liz, for 30 years do this. And I think you really need a different. kind of help. And there's a program, there's a 12-step program for people who. have sex and love addiction, and I think. you might want to go check it out.". >> So, then did you decide that day that.

you heard the voice from God that I'm. going to now go back and tell Raya that. I can no longer be a part of this story. Tell us about that moment. >> I actually ended up leaving and going. and staying with a friend for a few. weeks because I was so out of my mind. I. mean, I was also so sleep dep- I was so. far from myself. I was so completely. lost. >> She's been awful. And she's in such a rage. But I just couldn't do it anymore. And.

other people have had to step in and. take care of her or I just said, "Look, I'm living at my sister's apartment. I'm. 10 minutes away. My phone is always on. Whatever you need is taken care of. Chunky's needs are taken care of. Like, I'm still 100% providing for you in. every way. I said, "Whatever you want to. do." And she was like, "I don't want to. see you.". I started going to 12-step meetings. during that time um for codependency, for, you know, people who are fam-. Al-Anon, people who are family members. of of addicts. Sex and love addiction. Like, I I. started I I got what they call smart.

feet in the rooms, where I started. taking myself to a couple meetings a. day. >> it occur to you that you had a sex and. love addiction up until this point? >> I mean, I knew I was a little I mean, no. one's going to look at my relationship. history and say that is an emotionally. stable person. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You know what I mean? Like if I if I. laid it all out and I. >> That's why I think the book is going to. be so freeing, liberating for so many. women who are going to recognize. themselves in your story. >> They're going to say, "Oh, I've done. that." Or I do that. I've gone from.

boyfriend to boyfriend or partner to. partner, girlfriend to girlfriend, and. haven't really assessed it. You're just. like looking for the right person. >> And culture's telling you keep looking. >> And culture's telling you to keep. looking. >> Right? And all the movies are telling. you like he's out there, she's out. there. You're going to find it. Your. magical love story, right? So So we're. being sold this at the same I don't want. to blame culture for myself, but it's. also part of it, you know? I mean, if I. had been acting out with alcohol and. cocaine and heroin the way I acted out.

in relationships, my friends would have. had an intervention for me years ago. I. mean, they kind of did. Um, you know, but I wasn't going to listen to anybody. You know, I mean, people were always. saying, "Do you want to take a break? Do. you want to pause before you go into the. next This seems a little sudden. Do you. really want to get married? You just met. this person." I was like, "Yes, I'm a. I'm a passionate person.". You know? And I am a passionate person. Um, but I was abandoning myself again. and again and again. And for me, what. emotional sobriety looks like is no. abandonment of self. That's my.

definition of emotional sobriety for me. No abandonment of self. And I was. constantly abandoning myself and. undermining myself and selling myself. short. >> What did Raya do when you said I can no. longer be a part of the story? >> She went back home to Michigan. Um, so. the day came where I finally did say I. can't I can't be in this story anymore. It's too degrading. And she an old. friend helped her to get clean. And she. got off all the illegal drugs. Miraculously, she was a hospice patient. She had no motive. I mean, that was part.

of the reason I couldn't threaten her. because how do you threaten a hospice. patient? What if you keep doing these. drugs, you're going to die? She's like, "I'm already dying, [ __ ] I can do. whatever I want." You know, like. [laughter] she had a full past. Like she. got a big case of what they call in the. rooms the fuck-its, right? She got a big. case of the fuck-its. She was like, "I. can do whatever I want because I'm dying. anyway.". >> In six months. Um and and I was sort of. like I can do whatever I The prognosis. was six months. How long How long. >> A year and a half cuz she was made out. of titanium. And she lived on drugs and. alcohol and like ring-dings and hot dogs.

the whole time. It wasn't like she was. like doing anything nutritious, you. know, but but she was really tough. You. can't even pancreatic cancer had a tough. time killing Raya. >> Wow. >> tough. So she went She got clean. Um she. got clean. And so we never got back to. the intimacy we had had. But I did get. to have a sober Raya at the end of her. life and she did die clean. And we were. able to have a conversation about what. had happened and a little bit of. reconciliation. >> Well, I have to say you write. extensively about your own recovery. journey. I I really want people to read.

the book to find out how you did it. It's. >> It's It's It's a long process. >> Yeah. >> It's always ongoing, right? >> Yeah. >> You're You're entirely now off of any. mood-altering substances. >> Yeah. Yeah. Um and for me, of course, that's people. >> Um Which means you're still celibate, too. Can. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that is not a. requirement of recovery in my program, but for me, my higher power. um a lot of times when people come into. the recovery program I came into, it's.

suggested that you do not, you know, 90. days of no contact with anybody you're. involved with or a year of celibacy. A. year of celibacy and 90 days is nothing. for somebody who's been deep in the pain. in this addiction for 35 uninterrupted. years. I have been abandoning myself. into other people from the minute I. could, right? I have never given myself. with the exception of 9 months of Eat, Pray, Love when I was on my own. That's. the only time in my life I had ever been. on my own. Before I met a man who then. showered love on me, I was like, "Okay, I'll marry you." You know, like but but.

never had I been on my own. Always. enmeshed and entangled in one person. after another. So for me, I put it down when I came into the. rooms. I was like, I this is a living. amends to all those younger versions of. myself who never had the opportunity to. know who they were, to learn how to. thrive. So for me, this has been the. period of my life where I'm I've been in. this blooming. You know, like there's a. stunted emotional growth if you're. constantly in relationship with other.

people, you never get to learn how to. provide for yourself. >> Mhm. >> Um in a deep emotional and spiritual. way, and that's what my journey has. been. >> What do you want to say to anyone who. may be listening or watching us who may. be feeling powerless or certainly. ashamed? I think first of all, you read. this book, you will not be ashamed. anymore. >> That's true. >> To admit whatever is going on with you. because you have poured out your soul. and showed us that there is love for. yourself on the other side. >> Yeah. >> So what do you want to say to those. people who are in a situation right now?

Obviously, there are people who are. watching us. and listening to us who are in an. unimaginable situation. >> Yeah. >> What do you want to say? >> Well, first of all, you you aren't. alone. And part of the reason that I. think I wanted to write a book that was. so. raw and so honest was it's like, look, I'm the Eat Pray Love lady. And look what I got into. You know what I mean? Like, I'm the Eat. Pray Love lady with 20 years of a. spiritual journey behind me, 30 years of. therapy behind me, all the resources in.

the entire world, the admiration of the. entire world, and look what I got into. Right? So it's okay. We all end up at. various times in our life very, very far. away from ourselves. It can happen to. anybody. So that's the first thing that. I would want to say is you are my. sister. I see you. I see you. I know. you. I am you. >> Mhm. >> So come and hang out with with me. Like. like if you're feeling ashamed. And the. second thing I want to say is that. there is a.

dignity. that awaits you. when you put all the things that you've. been using to not have to feel. when you put those things down and you. sit with yourself through the worst. feelings of your entire journey and you. lay comfort upon yourself and you be. with yourself and you say to yourself. the words that you always so deeply. wished that somebody else would say to. you. Right? That's what I started doing.

was writing myself these letters from. love from unconditional love where I. would pour into me what I have always. wanted to hear. I knew what I needed to. hear cuz I've been trying to manipulate. people into saying it to me forever. What I want you to say to me but I. started to say it to me was I will never. leave you. That is the primary thing. I. will never leave you. I am not going. anywhere. I have got you. I am with you. You don't even have to get well and I. will never leave you. I see you. I know.

everything you've done and I love you. and I will never leave you. I believe now, I've come to believe that. God, what I call God, higher power, the. great mystery, gave me this spirit to. steward through life. This soul, this. being and I like to believe that it was. given to me because God believed I could. take care of it. If God didn't think I. could take care of it, they wouldn't. have given it to me. It gave me me and I don't think I'd ever. fully taken responsibility for me and. when I was first told in the rooms of.

recovery that you have to take. responsibility for yourself, I was so. angry cuz I've like I've been told that. since the day I was born. I want someone else to take. responsibility for me. And they're like, "Okay, go back out there and try that. again. Try that again. See how it works." Or. you can pick up that child. and say, "You're mine. I've got you and. >> And to walk through the rest of this. journey with you. And that's what I'm. doing. That's the relationship that I'm. in right now. So, the reversal of obsession, obsession. is that person that comes first, I come.

second, God comes last. That's what love. addiction looks like. The healing properties for me is you. reverse that. God first, me second, everybody else. Right? That's now the new the new mental. that. >> And the hair? >> Well, the hair was I've been dreaming about. doing this for years. I think it's. really cool when women have shaved. heads. And. and I was always like, I can't do it. I'm a public figure. I've got to look a. certain way. I've got to be media ready.

I have to And I also am a love addict. I'm trying to get people to love me. So, I'm always trying to look pretty. >> Yeah. >> Right? And somewhere about 3 years into. being celibate and being on my own, I. was like, I just want to do this. Like, I just. want to do this. And the final moment of. it that made me do it was that I was at. an event in New York City, um a media event with a lot of people. around my age, our age. And I looked. around the room and every single one of. the men had buzzed hair, or they were. bald, or they were graying, short short. short hair. They all had natural faces,

and they were all wearing comfortable. clothes. And every single one of the. women had some kind of pretty girl hair. that I know how much it costs. I can. price it out. Like, I know how much it. costs to get that straightened, to get. that blow cuz I used to do all that. stuff. >> Colored. >> Colored, they all had very expensive. hair. They had very expensive faces. Like, I could see what they were doing. to their faces, and I know cuz I did all. that, too. And they were wearing very. uncomfortable clothes. And I had this. moment of rage where I looked around the. room and I'm like, why are men allowed. to be comfortable? Why are men allowed.

to age naturally? And why are men just. allowed to be at ease? And then I was. like, well, I could just sit here. complaining about unfair beauty. standards, or I can just claim that. entitlement for myself, and just say I'm. not going to wait for the culture to. change. I'm going to be as comfortable. as a man. And so, I just went to CVS and. got some clippers and I buzzed my hair. and at that point the decision I made. was like, I'm going to be post beauty. I. don't care. I just don't care. I just. want to be comfortable. I want to jump. into oceans and lakes and rivers. I want. to be free. Cuz so much of my sobriety, my emotional sobriety, my recovery is.

about this growing feeling of freedom. Like this lack of dependency. I'm like, I just want to celebrate this freedom. I. don't even care if it's ugly. And then I. shaved off and I was like, I think it. looks good. I think. >> [laughter]. >> Like I have the head shape for. >> You have the head shape for it. >> Well, every single woman I have met when. I. talk about my hair says, I don't have. the the head shape for it. Is that true? Do we all have weird. shaped heads? >> [laughter]. >> Or do have we all been told that there's. even in this regard something. fundamentally wrong with us?

Right? >> Maybe I do have the head shape for. >> I'm just saying. Because I also for. years didn't do it cuz I was like, I. don't have the right head shape for it. And now I can guarantee I can count. down. What happens is a woman will say, "Oh my god, that must be amazing. It. looks so free." And then I hear five, four, three, two. I don't have the right. head shape. >> I have the right head shape for it. >> And it's like, you have been told that. every single part of you is wrong. From head to toe, every single part of. you. >> Yes. So, let me ask you this. Do you feel cured or do those urges.

still show up if you were to meet. somebody? How how. >> I'm an addict. Okay, don't get me wrong. You know what I mean? Like I've had I. just for today, let's just stay in in. 12-step recovery language. Just for. today, I'm doing really well. You know, like I have a. deep respect for my addiction and the. power of it. And that's why I go to a. 12-step meeting every single day. Uh in. various fellowships that I belong to, I. sponsor people, that helps me stay.

sober. I have a sponsor. Um I turn. things over in the rooms that I don't. want people to know about me. Like I. work a program. And I work a I work a. very very disciplined program. But the. main thing that I do is that every. single morning when I wake up, I open my. notebook and I do this thing that's. called two-way prayer that the original. founders of AA actually said was the. most important thing that an addict in. recovery can have is a direct communion. with the higher power of their. understanding.

And they gave a lot of liberal concept. to what your understanding is, whatever. that needs to be. But I open up my. notebook and I write these words, "Dear. God, what would you have me know today?". And then I download from my higher power. what I need for the day. I like my life has become, and I know. you get this, all I want to do is be of. service. >> Mhm. >> So, if I stay well and I stay sober and. I don't throw my life into somebody. else's life. and I communicate with my higher power. every day, then I have the opportunity.

every single day to be of service. And. in this morning's two-way prayer, God. was like, "You're going to go talk to. the nice lady." That's what God calls. you. >> Mhm. >> "You're going to go talk to the nice. lady.". >> Yeah. >> God said, "You're going to go talk to. the nice lady. and I just want you to answer the. questions. This isn't about you. This. interview isn't for you. It's for. whoever is listening. >> Yeah. >> So, whatever questions arise, I want you. to tell the truth and that's how you'll. serve me today.". >> I thank you so much. >> I thank you.

>> you so much. I thank you for this book, All the Way to the River. And I I love the way the title was. chosen about who's going to be the. friend that walks with you all the way. to the river and not just to 34th. Street, but all the way to the river. I. hope you all have all the way to the. river friends. Uh it's about love and loss and. liberation and it is your soul on the. pages as an act of service to everyone. who reads it. >> Thank you so much. >> did that thing, Elizabeth. >> Thank you.

>> that thing. It's available wherever. books are sold. Audience, thank you so. much. Thank you. >> everybody. I love you. >> [applause]. >> Before we go, I want to share a quick. thing with all of you readers. I. recently published something I'm excited. about. It's called a book lovers. journal. And here's what's great. Has. over 100 prompts like the first book. that made you feel seen and the book. that reminded you of what matters most. All designed to enhance your reading. experience. It's a great gift for book. lovers and I hear book clubs are using.

it when they meet, which makes me so. happy. I write about some of my favorite. books and for sentences and it is. available anywhere you buy books and. audience, you're all going home with a. copy. We can journal all your favorite. quotes. >> [applause]. >> And I have here you have a giveaway of. your own. What is it? >> So, um. I make these stickers. I design them. with my friend Margaret and the designer. is a young woman named Michelle Musli. who just graduated from design school. Says you are loved. I make them in. thousands and I give them away to.

everybody I meet. Any human I encounter. anywhere, I hand them to them. So, I. brought one for all of you today. So, these will be in your bags as well. Um. >> [applause]. >> I think my uh. My part-time job is writer. My full-time. job is handing stickers out that say you. are loved. >> loved. You are loved. >> to everybody in the world because I. think that's what we all so desperately. need to hear. >> Well, thanks to our phenomenal partner. Starbucks for welcoming us here to. Starbucks headquarters today. What. better place to enjoy good books, good. coffee and good company? The pairing.

this month is. >> the pumpkin spice latte. >> [laughter]. >> Perfect for fall. Go well, everybody. Thank you so much. >> Thank [applause] you.