KevOnStage Teaches Marco to Read, Talks Musty Church Days & Homeless Bald Man Allegations
[music]. >> Marco featuring KevOnStage. Marco, KevOnStage. Marco, KevOnStage. Your turn. Marco, KevOnStage. >> No, say your name first. KevOnStage. >> No, you got to say more about you. Like. who you are. KevOnStage, comedian. Hype. yourself up. Stuff you got coming out, everything. KevOnStage, comedian,
father, husband, friend. Yeah, dude, you. got to start with that camera first. Oh, I didn't even see that one. I'm sorry. KevOnStage, comedian, father, husband, friend, uh Church of God. >> Hold it out more. Down? Or down. That. one you hold out. Oh, out. Yeah. KevOnStage, comedian, father, husband, friend, Church of God, brothers, successful failure, the rapture. Good job. That's good. Okay. Yeah, we. got gifts. I appreciate you for coming. on the show. Thank you. And we sponsored.
by people, so it's like why not give. back. Um. this is first [music] gift. If you like. it, it's a mask. I do like it. Yeah. You. can wear it in church. I don't know if I. would do that. Uh. >> [laughter]. >> cuz you know what I'm saying? They. probably would rebuke me. I'll try it on. here though. Yeah. [music] KevOnStage, evil clown, rhinestones. Gang gang, twin, slime. Can I say slime? Yeah. Okay, I don't really know what it. means. But I know all the cool kids be like. twin, slime. Whoop-de-do.
That's the new thing you say. >> right there. Me in here too? Yep. Double bubble gum and a Starbucks gift. card. Yeah. I appreciate that. >> That's all from Amazon, so Shout out to. Amazon. Yeah. Appreciate y'all. Thank. you. >> that. I know you got kids, that's gift. for them. You can stand up and give it. Okay, cool. Different. My real dad is. not in here. >> No, it's not. Are you sure? No, like who.
I don't think your daddy would be big. enough to fit. He he could fit if he was. crouched down. See, and that's a [ __ ] in there, man. >> [gasps]. >> It's a [ __ ] woman. Oh, [ __ ]. Sorry. I didn't know she was in there. What if I would HAVE SOCKED HER, MAN? THAT'S WHAT I SAID. WHAT IF I WOULD HAVE. JUST SOCKED HER OFF THE STRENGTH? I. MEAN, I'M NOT A REAL STREET [ __ ] BUT I. COULD HAVE. AND I BE GETTING SCARED. SEE, WHY WOULD. YOU DO THAT, MAN? CUZ I BE getting. scared. >> I thought you like Stone Cold Steve. Austin. I do, man. But I just like the. shirt. But I.
How long was she in there, man? You got. black women in boxes. We supposed TO FREE THE PEOPLE. YOU GOT. BLACK WOMEN in boxes at work, man. That's her box though. But it was still, MAN. WE GOT TO LET THEM OUT. >> NO, BUT that was her creativity. Her. creativity was boxed in? See, Marco, man, he going to box you in, black. woman. No, she No, NO, NO. THIS YOUR. SHOW. YOU RESPONSIBLE. >> YOU WHAT HAPPENED. SO, she create boxes. Hold on, is there a smaller person in. here? No. My heart is stopping. >> [laughter]. >> They going to make a little clip out of.
that AND BE LIKE KEV ain't no real. [ __ ] But real [ __ ] can be scared. >> Yeah, I know. I don't want you to be. confused. You know what I'm saying, [ __ ]. >> cuz you never know what's going to. happen. Can I say [ __ ] Huh? Can I say. [ __ ]. I'm I don't know. I don't That [ __ ]. [ __ ] dead. Don't be speaking on [ __ ]. here. Don't. [ __ ] We don't do no. [ __ ] I appreciate it. You a punk ass [ __ ]. Yeah. I'll make sure not to cuss. Yeah. And I. won't say [ __ ] no more. That was the. last [laughter] one. That don't count cuz I was just telling. you I'm not saying [ __ ].
>> Yeah, you said it again. Yeah. [ __ ]. you're done. >> And then there's the boom mic, so the. >> [music]. >> that's how we talking to it. So, that. camera. I just [laughter] had to get up. I'm done. I'm done. Okay. Say no more, Kev. This is dope. I love Kev. Uh Kev is. a open book. Uh as [music] you see when the box came. open, he was really scared. Uh really funny, a great comedian. And just sitting [music] in this. interview, you know, right now, it's just I don't know, Kev just [music]. got this godly energy. So, I know I'm protected. I know I'mma.
live like 3 more years extra. Um. he went bald for [music] a reason. And. you know, just keep watching. Uh you got so much coming up. Um I'm a. fan. I love like that you do videos and. then you be like, "Oh, let me try it.". Those are really good. And what what. goes through your mind when you do. create. and you just like, you know, do you try. new stuff or do you be like, "I wonder. how they going to react to this?" Or you. do what makes what you feel is funny? >> I Man, I just honestly, Marco, I don't.
really put too much thought into it. My. allergies are very bad too, so if I. sneeze, just don't mind me. What I think about allergies, you can't. you know, you just got to let it happen. >> You do. Yeah. >> So, [clears throat] get back to it. Yeah, um But boy, this sneeze going to. come. Ooh. I expect somebody else to pop out. I. really don't I don't feel safe. You. good. There's a lot of hustling and. bustling around. I'm on a swivel. No, you know I'm from the streets. I'm crying and [ __ ].
>> Are you Is this really allergies or you. I don't know. I miss my. >> you, really. >> my grandma. >> this is what it is. >> What? I don't trust you. I feel like there's some dark arts. Yeah. Are you really Are you having an. allergic reaction? I don't know. I miss. my grandma. I miss my grandma, too. Yeah. She's. alive. I just Oh, [ __ ] She lives in. North Carolina. >> Mine's dead. Oh, okay. Yeah. My brother's dead. If you want to. >> Dead for dead. You know, can we go bare. for bare? Yeah, she can go dead for. dead. Sure can.
Hello, world. I want to bring you a. message. Brought to you by PrizePicks. And also me, cuz I'm the one talking. It's football season, and guess what? PrizePicks is the best place to win. money while watching football. The app. is easy to use. All you got to do is. pick more or less on your favorite. players going over stats. And they also. show you their last recent games. It's. easy. For new users, all you got to do. is put down $5, and you get $50 in. lineups. How close you going to get? Okay, back up. This awkward. Back up a. little bit more, a little bit more. And.
when you use this app, don't forget to. use Funny Marco as your promo code. Come. a little closer. Come a little closer. So, look. Watch out. Just get the app. Play. Win. You play to win the game. PrizePicks. Play $5, get $50 instantly. in lineups. Use code Funny Marco. So, the video, right? We just going to. it cuz you created I am creative. And. how you getting to like the church? Like. I took that Them shows are going really. well. And that's why I wanted to come to. one. Why did you come? Uh I don't know.
It was in Atlanta. And then I was What. happened? I was coming in late, but my. boy went. How was that experience? Do you want me to talk about the videos. or. the current question? I'mma go with the current question. It was a great experience. What makes it. a great experience? The jokes, man. You. have a good time. >> What jokes? Tell me one. One of the jokes from the tour? Yeah. I. was like, um. "Hey, man, YOU KNOW, GOD. >> [laughter].
[laughter]. >> THAT [ __ ] WAS FUNNY. OH MY [ __ ] GOD. YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY, [laughter] MARCO? I SEEN the show. I thought I was ready. I wasn't ready. Oh, man, that was funny. >> I don't know what's happening, but I. don't feel comfortable. Ooh, that was. funny. just feel like somebody going to. come in and like choke me from behind. >> Not that. I don't want to get seen. All. right, come on.
>> [laughter]. >> I don't even know if you made yourself. cry. >> Let's skip. Skip. Listen. Listen. Listen. Send it short. No, let's talk about it. Yeah, he do it. like that. Come on, Skip. You know how. you going to do that when you can't do. anything. The old show. You know how it be on your. ass. You know what it is. I'M ALWAYS. SAYING IT. THAT [ __ ] CRAZY. You don't. WANT NO BREAD. YOU WANT THE BREAD. WHAT. YOU [laughter] THINK ABOUT THE YOUNG. THUG CASE? I DON'T KNOW. IT GOT NOTHING. TO DO WITH YOU. You go to prison, whoop-de-do. THAT'S WHAT I. >> [laughter]. >> SAID. WHOOP-DE-DO. WHOOP-DE-DO. WHAT HE. DOING? WHAT HE DOING? THAT'S CRAZY. What. he doing?
Come on, man. >> [laughter]. >> I didn't know it fell out of your. wallet. It was a phone, bro. Okay. It. could have been a blicky. You don't know. me like that, Marco. >> know. They don't know I got that hammer. on me. Ain't nothing about construction. Hm? >> [laughter]. >> I just want to open your brain and just. look in there for a little bit cuz I. know them wires is mixed up. Something. supposed to be plugged into the red, it's in the blue back there. You know, remember that the. red and the white thing back in the day? Yours is plugged to HDMI. They didn't.
even have that then. Yeah. And with the church tours, how did it. come about? Like how did you get And is. it still going on? No, it's over. Oh. Oh. >> [laughter]. >> I just You know, I I started doing. comedy in church. The first time I ever. did comedy, I was in church. Oh. I was. 16 years old. I did it for like a little. youth group, you know, a little talent. show. And then I just kind of went back to my. roots. Oh. So, that's how I started.
That's how I separated myself. When is. the next one coming out? I don't know. My wife said I shouldn't go back into. churches. She was like, "You need to. challenge yourself.". So, sometimes it's not good to leave. something that can be so big. And somebody else pick it up, you like, "Damn, man, you could have ownership of. that.". Of church comedy? I don't I You could have it. Anybody could have it. There's all kinds. of people. There's plenty people. >> I wasn't expecting you give it up. Nah, man, you got it. I was in church I was. in a choir. And the thing about me being in the.
choir, they separated me because. it was. I was different. Were you Did you have. the diapers on? No, I No, I was old. I. was like 10, 11, 12. I had a odor smell. They said odor. Smell? Yeah. What did you smell like? I didn't wear deodorant for real like. that. Mhm. So, you was musty in church. I Me, I just feel like I was a kid. Now, kids can Can musty though. >> Yeah, that's how I was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then that's what I said, I got. a letter. put on me a sticker and my grandma read.
it and she was like, "Either you going. to have to stand off to the side or you. going to have to come sit with me.". I didn't know what that meant at the. time. And she probably broke it down. It. was a older smell. Musty don't really have no age, though. Yeah, right. Cuz kids be musty and they. smell like adults, but it's not like. older must. It's just must [music]. as a classification. >> Talk about your musty times. Right here, right now. I think I'm musty. right now. Yeah, it be happening. It get. salty.
>> Bro, it's really salty. Like this is my. fourth thing today yeah, and I I just. know if I was going to dig my hand right. here and smell it, It's bad. That's man. check. Man check. Yeah, that's a man. check. It's It's not crazy musty. Uh. they got man diapers, too. If you need. I've seen those. A pad. I've seen What I. seen the pad, I've seen like the men. depends. >> Yeah, so and that happens when uh what. did I say? Certain drawers. You got to start. learning your texture of drawers. I. learned the older you get cuz what are. you what? 49?
How old are you? 42. Okay. Same thing. I mean not really. 49 is. very much older than 42. That's almost. 50. 42 is closer to 40. No disrespect. I I see you with your. little hair, your little judge. Look at. me and not your hair. I got a twist out. Look at me. I got hair everywhere. I'm. Marco. I haven't got a beard and a. mustache and hair. I'm young. Everybody. likes it. I I feel the judgment from the. hair community. And I feel like bald men we But you got. what? I never seen a bald man homeless.
Bald men are very successful. Think. about anybody. Shaq, Michael Jordan, everybody that's bald. >> Those are just two bald people. I mean listen. It's all kind of Steve, the dude I was with Jerry Springer, Steve Wilkos. He's He's successful. Michael Jordan. >> naming random bald people. There's homeless I'm sure there's Have. you ever seen a homeless bald dude? Not personally. Exactly. But I know. they're there. No hair. I'm not checking. the hair stats of the homeless. Ain't no. hair. Okay? I'm not like, "Hey man, you. messing up the bald stats.".
>> [laughter]. >> So either got to give you a home or save. you. I can't I don't do that, man. I. just make sure they're okay. What if the bald stats are really low? >> That's what I'm saying. Like I don't be. doing that. I'm not hairist like that. Yeah, it happens. Yeah, but people with. hair look at you. Look at this little. curly twist. You think you Elvis. Presley? >> I mean what you got good skin. I had a. lot of good skin. It was beautiful. So. you got it. I do have good skin. >> did you go bald? Like what happened? And do you miss your hair?
I don't miss my hair. I I'mma tell you how I went bald. This. is what happened as a black man. The. sides were going, okay? I can see. Yeah. So my wife was like I was like, "Hey, is. it going bald?" She was like, "Nah, nah." And the way she would say nah, I. knew it was. So I was like I was going low even. I. was like, "Give me the bald fade." You. know, you would hide the fact that my. line was trash. >> Mhm.
I want you to look at me. Okay. I see. you looking You're looking at the bald. I just want you to know that I'mma just. stare at the camera. >> fine. Cuz you can't look at a bald man's. bald. >> Okay. Do your thing. >> If you going to look at me, talk to my. eyes cuz I saw you looking off and I. didn't feel respected at in the moment. Okay. So you know, my brother was a. barber. dead now, by the way. Mhm. So like when. he was alive, he used to cut my hair. All right. He hasn't cut it since he. died. Um. He was like, "Yo, it's time.". And he put his hand on my shoulder. And he was like, "You got to go bald.".
Because my hairline was trash. Mhm. So that was like Your first bald cut. How did you feel going home? >> [laughter]. >> It was trash, Marco. It hurt. Mhm. I. looked at myself. I said, "At least I. won't be homeless." Yeah. That's the one. thing I knew. I said, "I'm guaranteed to. have a house now." Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> So my wife looked at me and my kids were. like, "You okay?" Yeah. And I was like, "I'm not sick." Yeah. And they had seen. bald people before, but they hadn't seen. me. Yeah. But you know, we lived through. it.
>> Yeah. You are you living? I'm living. You happy? I'm happy. You out there, you. know, doing your thing. >> Yeah. I. I like the show. I actually watched the. trailer. >> The hospital show. I liked it. I. actually watched it before it got on it. So I seen the pitch. So it's dope to see. your vision come. So. I can know that you're happy because. not because of a project, because you. got something done. If you said you was. going to do it, somebody seen your. vision and it's more to come. So what This is what's tricky about you. I felt like that was genuine. Mhm. And. then you going to be like,
"You bald and 49.". >> Yeah. And then that's why I can't gauge. you cuz I want to say thank you. Then. you'll be like, "Hey, are you going to. the hospital to get new hair?" And. that's why I don't want to say thank. you. But thank you. I had to beat you to. it. Yeah. No, it's good. I don't got a. curveball. I You do. Like I said, one thing about you, you. don't let [ __ ] go. We weren't supposed to cuss. You did. You let it go, though. See? You talking about the bald again. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, that's what I was just saying. But. thank you. I appreciate that. Means a. lot. You're very funny. I've seen you go. from Walmart to.
Kevin Hart was here. Mhm. And you. haven't really changed. >> mean I haven't changed? Like I look. better, right? You haven't changed. No, I mean like I look better. Don't I? Am I attractive? I don't think. so. No. Oh. We got dinner. Uh let me ask Do you see You see his. hairline? No. You don't see it? Can you show. your hairline? Do you see it? Okay. Can you try to find it, please? I don't know if you can Like here. You. know if you rub it, you get good luck.
Let's do it. Let's say something right. there. Yeah. And how do you call it? If you don't. mind, can we We mind saying a prayer? Dear God. For us. Dear God. I can't do this. Okay. Well, it's okay. Let him do it. He's got prayer for us. Dear God, we we we we. we call you right now to take the hair. from the people who have it, God. Strike. [snorts] them down. Let them and their. luxurious locks just fall down in the. mirror. >> [music]. >> So they'll know the pain and the. judgment that the bald community feels.
Not to the lady, but just other people. Uh maybe the host in powder blue, God. Strike it down. Who needs it? In Jesus. name, amen. Amen. Amen. That's one thing about your prayers, they work. They work. Thank [music] you. so much. >> Thank you. I would really like you if. you leave my assistant alone. We have a special meal for you, Marco. Thank you. >> [music]. >> Thank you. And very special meal for you, Mr. Kevin. I get messed up. All right. Okay. There you go, Mr. Kevin.
You know, like when you're in church, you get the chip. Y'all got some. cranberry juice? Don't worry. I got. something for It's like in church when. you get [music] the chip and cranberry. juice. Don't worry. You do not touch a button, Mr. Kevin. What accent is that? Sorry I'm your phone. There's a couple. of different things happening. You got a. regular glove and a ring on top of it. Sorry, Mr. Kevin. Why would. You got a little glove on. >> ring if you're going to have the glove? Okay. Come on. Thank you. Enjoy, Mr. Kevin.
Enjoy, Mr. Marco. >> [snorts]. >> I don't I don't know what to do. right now. You eating a loose gyoza. with no sauce. That's a dipping sauce. thing, man. Am I all right?
You gave me one chip. What they say? Bet you can't eat one. This is bit It don't even have the full. triangle. Where is the rest of the. I already ate. Thank you. Oh. What accent was that? I I don't even think it was the same. sentence to sentence. You talk That's how you talk. >> I don't believe that. Battery 76%. Sorry. Sorry.
This is I'm a you know, but we got fans. They. call and they ask for advice. Okay. >> [music]. >> Hi, Marco. My name is Elena. I live in Brooklyn, New York. And my problem is that I have been on. and off. um in an entanglement. >> It was clear. with my ex. Someone I just. cannot get rid of. And I feel like.
yes, I need to stop listening to him. when he makes appearances. I blocked him. on my all devices, every platform, and. even silenced unknown numbers that come. to my phone. And he still. months later will just show up or try. and like catch me in route to work. So. it's a annoying cycle. And I feel like the only solution to. this is for me to move. Like I really.
want to move and buy a house. and. give myself some space. Like the best. thing in the world would be for him to. come knock on my door and it's not me. here no more. And I think you can help. me with that. If y'all want to help come. up with my job Kevin for this house so I. can get up out of here and start. spending my time gardening instead of. dealing with. uh regurgitated relationship. It's. annoying for everybody and especially.
for me and my heart. I need a break and. I feel like you can help me. If you. care, hit me back. My number is 443-60. >> I'll keep She can get help from. somebody. >> Oh, wow. That's No, put it up That's her. real number. To me, that he sound like. Michael Myers. She say he pop up anytime. he want. And when you can't get rid of Michael. Myers. You're on your own. What do you. got? Uh you know what I'm saying? God got you. Look in the camera and tell. her. God got you, sister.
Amen. Amen. Hi Funny Marco. My name is. Raya and. I need discipline two badass kids. They. in the back. >> Thank you. Bye-bye. She couldn't get 10. seconds from them kids. >> [laughter]. >> They was in the background of that. little video. She couldn't even find 10. seconds on her own. I don't think I like. this food.
It wasn't good. Tide missing. Why don't you eat yours? >> I [clears throat] had ate already and I. don't like loose chips. >> [laughter]. >> I need to see where the chips. That's the deal. Yeah, see and that's. that that's that that's the [ __ ]. voice. What happened to all that? What happened. to all that concierge stuff? >> Cuz he will wanted to it was a service. Yeah, I don't want I can't I don't trust. stuff that comes in bags and I don't see. the bag. Mhm. You know, that's the part. of the blackness in me. >> Yeah. You can't just serve a loose. Dorito. Where did it come from?
>> with me? I feel like you only get three. prayers a month. So, use them wisely. Cuz God is busy. He work overseas, too. Yeah, China, Asia, Africa. USA, different states. [laughter]. One God. >> [laughter]. >> Marco, man, you are sick. Like for real, man, you got to talk to. somebody. I'm talking to you. No,
professional, man. They got to they got. to go inside cuz I don't know how long. you even thinking that. Like what's the time from thought to. mouth? It's got to be short. God work overseas, too? Yeah, of course. He's like Santa. He got to work. west to east for all the children's. gifts. >> me ask him for it. You know what I mean? Some people sending prayers up just like. asking. Come on now. Like you know? Like. give me some gas tomorrow. Like God, please. Like like we and it's people. that really need. You know what I'm. saying? So, that's why I say you only. get three prayers a month. That you get.
answered or that you should even pray? Like pray. Yeah. No, man, I need more. than that. >> To him. I'm saying. Well, don't ask for. too much. Just do. >> [laughter]. >> Don't ask for too much. >> Yeah, he's just like he blessing us. already. We woke up. Yeah, get your life, [ __ ] Just go do. some good good [ __ ]. >> would say it just like that, but Yeah, I. feel you. Yeah. Was he overseas with it? Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> He got to deal with some stuff. >> Yeah. What's going on in Morocco? You. don't even concerned about Morocco. >> Yeah. You know, what's happening in Morocco?
They praying, too. China? Africa. All over the place, man. Abu Simbel? Yeah. That's in Egypt. Daddy house? Oh, sorry. Sorry to bring up dad. >> I told you about my real dad. Yeah. I. told you off camera. I didn't know if. you going to have him in a box or just. had a regular black dude. >> to meet your real dad yet? I met him. You did? Yeah. He bald? No, man, he actually has hair, which is. really confusing. >> Yeah, he might not be your daddy. Oh, see I don't need that. Yeah. I don't. need that. When it comes to marriage,
what is something that I need to like. check about myself to accept marriage? Uh. the guy community. What guys got to fix. like first in us? That you did. >> [clears throat and cough]. >> I think you have to make sure you are. like not worried about what other men. think. Good one. Cuz I feel like a lot. of times we more concerned with men and. how they going to think about it. Mhm. And it's just.
>> [laughter]. >> Yeah, you loud. What's going on? Yo, can you wrap this up, man? We trying. to go. Wrap this up, man. Finish the interview. with this and wrap this up. I can hear the person with my regular. ears. I think the whole point of. walkie-talkie is to be further away. I. can hear him first before And that's not. even clear. >> talk to me, please? Okay. I'm actually going to the store. You need anything from the store? I'm. heading to the store. Was that the chef. dude? >> [laughter].
>> He's just talking regular on. walkie-talkie, man. Yeah, do your thing. I'mma handle this. All right, hurry up, man. You messing up. my parlay, man. Trying to go watch the. game. All right, sorry. Okay, so number one. um not worried about other men. Number. two. And number two, anything that happens. between y'all is fine, you know what I'm. saying? Mhm. Whatever you like. Mhm. You can do that. Mhm. Number three, treat her with respect. Mhm. I think those are probably the main But. everybody got their own definition of. respect. Like and you got to learn your.
person what they respect. Yeah, for. sure. For sure. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like loving learning her love. language, she learning yours, how you. like to be loved, what feels like. respect to you, what feels like. [clears throat] love. Those are key. things, you know what I'm saying? That's. really important. Me, I'm learning. through a relationships see what you do. wrong first, too, sometimes before you. point the finger at the other. So, realize what did I do first to get this. treatment even if it is a treatment. Cuz sometimes stuff happen and people. like, "Why me?" And it's like, "What? You want somebody else to get it?".
That's [ __ ] up. I know, I think that's fair, actually. Yeah. Like I don't deserve bad things. Yeah. I. >> Other people should have them. >> Yeah, that's not bad. So, I don't use. the using a phrase "Why me?" is selfish. I agree. Like you get flat tire like, "Why me?" And like, "What? You want. grandma to have it?" I mean, if it ain't. my grandma. Oh, wow, you don't give a. [ __ ]. >> No, I mean, that's not my grandma. Oh, he sneezed. He's coming. Get ready to bless me. So, you really do have allergies. [ __ ] bless me. Bless you. Bless you.
Thank you. [ __ ]. >> I I'm confused. I don't know what's. real. You know that saying when they was. like you sweep my feet, I got bad luck. Is that [ __ ] real? I've never heard that. saying. You sweep on my feet? Sweep. When you. sweep somebody's feet. I've never heard. that. Oh. Where are you from? >> What about one sock rule? Walking around. with one sock give somebody bad luck. I don't know. Yeah. I don't believe in bad luck, though. Me, neither. Do you believe. I'm sorry. Let me cut it off. I'm. I. This is crazy. I cut it off.
Um. Uh where was I at? Uh you sweep my feet, bad luck. >> Yeah, yeah. One sock, bad luck. Yeah, so. you don't have Uh what about splitting a. pole? Do you feel like that's I don't. feel like that, but I be my some of my. homeboys be like, "Come on, man, don't. split the pole." But I don't be really. on that. Me, neither. I don't get it. Like some stuff I just don't live by. I. believe in reincarnation. What about. you? Royal carnation? Reincarnation. Oh, no. I don't I I don't think so. >> you been here before? No. I I feel like.
>> Not consciously. I'm saying you been. somebody else before. You was a white. man before. No, I don't think so. I. don't think so. No, you was. I wasn't. Yeah, you was. This is my first time. Being black? Being alive. No, you just don't. remember. You just like me. I was a. animal before this. I wasn't I wasn't white man. >> So, if you can't come back and be. somebody else, what would you be? Platypus. A platypussy? Puss. Oh. Cuz I want to have that tail. I want to. do stuff with that tail. I think the.
tail would be fun. Okay. So, you want to live in water. Yeah, but really it's mostly about the. tail. >> Oh, you probably get to see SpongeBob, too. That'd be dope. I think it's a. different type of water. Yeah. I think. platypus. I don't know what's plural. Platypusai? Platypuses? Mhm. Platypi. I think they're fresh water. I think. SpongeBob is. sea water, salt water. >> Thanksgiving, how do you feel about it? I'm so excited. Mhm. I've been looking. forward to it all year. I got pumpkin. pie coming. I don't care what the blacks. say. Mhm. I eat pumpkin pie for. Thanksgiving and the blacks are very.
upset with me, but Wait, we not supposed. to eat that? I think we can, but we don't like it. >> a rumor. I didn't know that. >> No, no, black people be like sweet. potato pie only. Yeah. But you can't. control my dessert intake. Yeah, I can. see. You. eat all your dessert. Um. Oh. >> We got time. Yeah, cuz I want to get him back. Yeah. I can call, too. Yeah. Yeah. What. happened? This [ __ ] don't go one way. Oh. Yeah, hold on. No, no, no. Let me call somebody. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Flip the table on you. All right, that's. good. [laughter] Yeah. Only thing is we. flip tables over here, I call the. police. All right, well, well, you know. what I'm saying? Come on, brother. You. understand as a black man. It is what it. is. Yeah, now you nervous. How does it. feel? I mean Yeah, now you Yeah, you. ain't sneezing. Hey. Babe, I'm live with Funny Marco. Hi Funny Marco. Who is that? It's my. wife. Can I talk to her? No. Listen, I. got to go. No, let me tell you. something. >> are you going to be able to take JoJo to. soccer? No, no, no, no. I don't You. can't talk to Marco. Listen, he's crazy.
There was a small woman in here. It's a. black lady in a box. Oh my god, I wish I. could have been there. You don't want to. be here. I don't know what Marco would. do to you. There's a a [ __ ] chef. [clears throat] who was using an accent. and then he was just a [ __ ] voice. I. just want to know. if you take JoJo to soccer, can I can. pick him up? Uh. okay, that's fine cuz I got to get out. >> get out of here. All right. Oh, yeah, okay. Bye. See? That's my wife. All right. >> Okay, who is the most famous person in. your phone? Celebrity that you met.
What is fame? Uh fame is where. um. if somebody died, they'd be like, "Oh, man, he dead?". You know, that's my worst fear, actually. What? Like dying and people. thinking I already died. Yeah. I feel. bad for people. They're like, "I thought. he been gone.". >> [laughter]. >> That's the worst. >> How do you say that over again? Yeah, when people be like, "Man, he he just. died. I thought he been gone." Oh. That's I want everybody to know when I. died. All right. I don't want it to be. like, "Really? He was alive?" Yeah. Cuz that's just like, man, come on, man. >> Flavor Flav. I think that's how it's. going to be with him.
I'm sorry, Flav. >> [laughter]. >> That was in fun. What? >> I didn't mean that. Good Flav. We haven't met, sir. I didn't. mean that. But we will know when Flav. goes on. Nobody will be surprised. Oh. But some people they be dead. >> You I don't. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Don't clip that part out. either. Life seems nice, man. He was. doing water polo and. >> bad. I mean, everybody live. Everybody. live. >> Everybody go. Everybody go. >> Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> Go in fashion, too. Ain't nothing better. than going in fashion. Absolutely. That's it. Yeah. Mhm. Are you happy? In general? Yeah. After this is over I feel like I'll. >> Oh, you got one of your books with you? I do have one in my backpack. >> Can I get it? Can I see it real quick? >> Yeah, you want to go grab it? Can y'all. Can y'all get his book? Yeah, it's in my. backpack. >> his book? It's in the front. >> the book about? Uh it's called. Successful Failure. Mhm. It's all my. like. failures that led to my wins. Mhm. Like. everything in my life that brought me to. this moment here. Mhm. Like cuz you.
probably wouldn't even want to talk to. me if I was a nobody. Mhm. >> just a homeless bald man, you would step right over me. You'd be. like, "You're homeless bald." No, I. wouldn't. >> be like you'd shake your hair all. luxurious and curly like. >> do that. I'd give you some money. And. then step over me. >> No, and I'd say, "Go clean your ass. Get. up. Get up. You [ __ ] up my community.". That's what I do. I'm like, "Go get a bath. Go and get. something down there. McDonald's hire.". So, we would have a conversation. I actually rather you step over me. What? >> I'd rather you just step over me than.
chastise me. Keep your money. >> What? I've been hungry before. You think. you're better than me cuz you got a. house? Whoop-dee-doo. Wow. >> to prison for the rest of your life? Whoop-dee-doo. [laughter]. The thing is about being homeless, you. ain't got to worry about [ __ ] That's. the good thing about it. >> You do though. What? Roofs. Oh. Food. Oh. Rain. Yeah. Dogs. Okay. [laughter]. All kind of stuff. Hair. Okay. Judgement. from the hair community. >> freedom of speech. Everybody gets that.
Oh, well. It's different cuz you out in these. streets for real. Yeah. That's why I hate when like my uncle and. them I'm a street [ __ ]. They can't find my backpack? Oh, I. didn't bring it. That's right. I ain't really trust the. whole setup here. >> No. So, I left my stuff in the car. >> Yeah. I'd rather get stolen. I don't. know what you might have done to my. backpack. >> is it in your phone? You got a IO book. of it? I do. Can you open it up? Sure. You want to see a PDF or you want to see. the cover? I mean, whatever. Is it a.
page or something? >> I got a page. Okay, go to a page. All. right. Say something Say me your success while. I'm looking for this. I was successful. at stealing but I was a failure cuz I. got the wrong [ __ ]. Ouch. [laughter]. >> [gasps and sighs]. >> Uh okay, here's my book. Let me see it. Okay. It's uh how many pages? Like 300. Okay, that's a lot of reading. >> Yeah, you could do the audio book. It's. me. I'mma read it to you. >> Contents contents content introduction.
First saw. signs as a child. I can't remember when. >> [snorts]. >> Uh hold on. Ooh. You don't read good. I know I'm good. It's the writing. When I happened up on the first No, no. I can tell by the cadence. What you mean? >> when I do do like this, that means you. don't read good. People who read good. just they read like they talk.
>> know. I like to hear every word. >> Yeah, I see that little ball. jumping over them words when you read. It's helping you. You might as well just. run that finger along. I see it in you. You really want to. You're kind of using. your thumb. There go the allergies. coming back cuz you're nervous about. this reading. That sneeze coming out. Anything to get. you out of this scenario. Yeah, that sneeze coming, them tears. coming, anything. We need another box. All right. >> Cuz that reading aloud I know you you're. getting triggered. >> I'm getting it. As a kid barely older than 10, I knew.
precise. precisely. >> There it go. You're crying. Don't do. this. You're about to Your nose is about. to start bleeding. I don't even know what you said. Precisely? Precisely. >> Yeah. We. what those signs meant for me. Yeah, see. when you went up? Yeah. That's where you. were surprised you knew that word. Yeah. That's how people don't read. That's how. that's how their sounds go. Read that. line. They Yeah, read the whole thing. See, I'mma tell you how. All right.
>> They signaled that I was. pre- Oh, okay. All right. >> I think it's the lights. >> Yeah. They signaled that I was. preordained to be so much more than what. the world expected of a little black boy. from working-class West Texas. I'll. finish the rest. All right. I was meant. to be big. >> [laughter]. >> And each time I saw signs on TV or. family trips or print I grew even more. convinced. >> Even? Okay, even. Uh this sign The signs called me. consistency.
What consist Yeah, you know what I mean. You wrote it, [ __ ] I know. Okay, so I. think they're actually returning the. books as you read. What? >> I think people are just like, "Man, I'm. good." What you mean? As you read, they're just taking them back to Amazon. And you know they return fast. Amazon. give you your stuff as soon as you go to. the mailbox. >> I like it. Yeah, thank you. >> One thing I learned about it is take. your time. Like. You learned that that quick? >> Yeah.
Basically, I already know what that. book's about. It's about you being able. to. learn things about you and your family. and it started off with you as a little. boy a little black boy that was so crazy. and racist. Um like white people can't read it. So. >> [laughter]. >> Okay, big. Um. And you know what's crazy? I probably. get clipped. They'll be like, "Why he. just call him that?" They ain't going. No, no. >> They going No, Tik Tok. Yeah, they. >> The Tik Tokers going to get it. They're. going to be like, "Damn, he just called.
him that." And then they ain't even. watch the whole interview. I just. clipped myself. >> Yeah, you did. >> Um. Yep, and here we are towards the end. I. got to read the book. Uh. I think he think I'm trolling about. reading, but I read that book. And I I don't think he know it. I think he's going to be the first book. like maker that doesn't He's just lying. I think he got them from Google. But y'all go make sure y'all get the. book and figure out. And thank you. Kevon Kates. It's Okay, sorry. Sorry for [ __ ] your.
name up. Kevon Stage. I don't know what name. names ass. Uh. Like this is just like just Kev. I'll. just call you Kev. It's only one Kev. So, I'm just call you ball head, man. Thank you for coming through. And hopefully, you know, you come back. again. And I'll unfollow you on Instagram after. the interview. Oh, yeah, baby pictures. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, we got it. Okay, we got. celebrity babies. and then I want you to guess the.
celebrity babies. >> Okay. All your heart. All right. It's going to pop up on episode two so I. know not to. >> Beyoncé? Huh? Yep. That's Beyoncé. Is. it? Yep. Who is it? Yep. >> don't want to say nobody. LeBron James. Yep. >> LeBron James. That's his son. How you. know that was him? I seen that picture. on ESPN before. Ray J?
You? Wow, you're seeing all black. people. Tevin Campbell? No. I don't know that child. It's ASAP. Rocky, right? ASAP Rocky. >> ASAP Rocky? Yep. Oh, shout out ASAP. ASAP Mob. You just called him Ray J. Yeah, I didn't know. I've never seen ASAP as a child. Ah, Ashanti. Yep. It got to be Ashanti. Yep.
I don't know who that child is. Trust me. You got ears like him, too. Think about it. Is that Washington? Keep going. Ray J. Another ASAP? Travis Scott. His name start with a B. B? Yep. Brandon. Tyler the Creator, dude. That doesn't start with a B. Where's. your baby picture? I don't. Probably on the phone. You got. it on your phone? Actually, my house.
burned down as a kid. See, I don't like. I don't like that. What? >> Cuz I don't know if your eyes genuine. You you say it so fast it feels. disingenuous. >> Uh we'll start over. Do it again. I don't have baby pictures. My house. burned down. Aw. I was a little late. Oh. Let's try one more time. All right. My. house burned down in a fire. >> Oh. Too quick. Oh my god, dog. >> You're a little early. You got to like. let it sit and then. >> My house burned down in a fire. Damn. No. That was good though, but there was no.
concern. That was good for like. blackness. Like, "Oh, snap." But I. really need concern in this moment. Okay? My house burned down in a fire. >> Word? Okay, that's not. See, word invites more of the story. >> Yeah. Okay, that's That was the right. timing, wrong word. We're getting there. Mhm. Okay? And you sat back. I was like, "Well, that's crazy." Mhm. My house. burned down in a fire. When? You see it? >> Didn't hate it. Didn't hate it. >> Yeah. Not the right feeling cuz remember.
it's sadness. I lost my baby pictures. You're forgetting that part. >> Mhm. Lost my baby pictures pictures. And. everybody was safe, right? >> Everybody was safe. Nobody died. Lost my. baby pictures. Some Capri Suns, too. Mhm. My house burned down in a fire. Okay, first off, uh who started the fire? My brother. Aw. THAT WAS GOOD. >> PERFECT! >> [screaming]. >> GOOD. YES! >> YEAH. Told you. All for the Capri Suns. All for the. Capri Suns, man. >> Yeah. That was really good, Marco. You. got a future in acting. Yeah, I actually. do. I got a couple movies coming out.
>> Really? Mhm. When? Bounce it. What is that about? >> [laughter]. >> I think you need to bounce up out of. here. I think uh Okay. All right, cool. Cool. Uh what would you like to tell the. world? What was you like? >> Uh I'm Kevin. KevOnStage Fredericks. Thank you. Follow me on Instagram. >> No, no. What you got coming up? Mostly. shows. I'm on tour right. >> on. Say it with confidence, man. All.
right. >> [clears throat]. >> All right. My name is Kevin. Masculine. More masculine. >> Hey, [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> Come to my shows, [ __ ] I'll kill you. Yeah, that's it. >> gun. >> Yeah. That has bullets in it. >> Yeah. Bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. >> No, don't do that. >> do that. >> You did. >> No, I was It was very straight. >> Keep it straight. Bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. That was Madea. Okay. All right. Now you you really good. with kids cuz that was a kid one.
Oh, wow. Racist? No, it was a shotgun. Not racist. I like a racist joke. >> take the weapons out of it. All right. Hey, [ __ ] Come to my shows cuz I don't. need dead homies. It could be whatever. >> dead homies you got? Just one. I don't think you got dead homies. My. brother my dead homie? He He my homie. That's your family. Dead homies are. family? No. They're friends? They're family. >> Oh, okay. On the dead brothers. Come to my show. I ain't got a dead. brother yet. Keep living. Yeah.
Do you have any brothers? Mhm. One of them died, too. I thought I was prepared. Yeah. I was. not. I don't think you can be prepared for. this. >> The show too as well streaming on BET. Make sure you catch it. It's going to. still be on there. We need to blow it up. so we can get season 1, 2, and 3. And. I'll let her come on there and be uh let. me be Let me be a janitor. I would love. that. >> you don't have a janitor on there. We. didn't have a janitor in there, but you. could be. Yeah. I think you'd be great,
actually. You got a bright future. Uh. yeah, especially with all these lights. on. Yeah, you're doing good. I'm very. proud of you. You got a You got a thing. that nobody else can do. Yeah. What's. that? I don't know how to classify it. Yeah. But it's yours. Mhm. It's that Nobody. else want it? I don't think so. It's all yours. Yeah. But you killing. it. Yeah. >> You know what I'm saying? You're doing. your thing. >> You graduated, right? I did. I did, too. How long was your graduation? Like an hour and a half. Uh mine was. what? 10 minutes.
It's them diapers, probably. No. It was. what? Three of us. We got our. diplomas one by one. And we got some snacks. I got to take my son to soccer. Okay. Well, world, thank you for tuning in. Make sure you like, comment, subscribe. on this YouTube. Make sure you go. comment under his uh. page Baldy. Uh. if you watch this episode,
[clears throat] we would know that you. came from here. So, comment Baldy under. his last picture. >> [laughter]. >> So, you going to be all, "Damn. People. really watching it.". They going to do that, man. Yeah. They. going to do that for a long time. >> Well, it's time for us to go bounce our. ass up out of here. Bye, world. Okay. >> [music].
