Karlous Miller Argues With Santa Claus, Shares Favorite Bedroom Words & Offers Marco a Bad Tour Deal

over him and let him know. >> But but you got to start another lie to. cover that lie. And so. >> that's where he leave your beard on. That's where your creativity comes from. >> Show who he really is. >> Every lie you tell, you should be. working on a better lie to go. Uhuh. Put. it back on cuz I thought you was a young. [ __ ] but you really are. Put that [ __ ]. back on, man. >> Actually, I'm young. I'm 55. But yeah, >> you not get [laughter] You're not young. at 55. >> I am young at 5. Put the beard back on. Put the hat off. Show them how you. coming. Let me [clears throat] hear. Let. him know. I do have hair.

>> But I'm saying like put the beard back. on. I'm scared now. I was comfortable. >> He got white beard under the white. beard. >> Yeah. [music]. [music]. >> I mean, is this when it's over? >> She going. >> Are we going right now? >> Yeah, we roll. >> Yeah. They never stop rolling.

They never stop is what I was saying. >> Uh, welcome to the Christmas uh. Christmas [music] episode. I said what I. wanted for Christmas and I got it. He. right here. >> What [laughter] the [ __ ]. >> What? >> What do you want to do an episode with? >> No, I wanted you for Christmas. >> What the [ __ ] kind of [ __ ] is that, Marco? You can't say [ __ ] like that. >> No, I'm saying it's normal. >> People not going to receive that. Well, >> what. >> that you saying that? I don't receive it. well cuz I don't know what that mean. >> No, I'm saying I want you for the. episode. here. >> Oh yeah. >> Well, say that.

>> How you feeling? >> I'm good. >> Yeah. >> Hell yeah. >> What was like where you at state of. mind? What does your real look like? I. feel like you like a open book. [music]. >> What that mean? >> Like you just real like I feel like. [snorts]. uh [music] it's no like you got no. filter. >> I don't need one. >> Yeah. And that's what Do you come from. like pops, daddy? Mama? >> I think probably my mama and my daddy. are both very outspoken. >> Is he y'all close or he just like you? He just got married. >> He did. >> Yeah. That [ __ ] happy, too.

>> So, when you getting married next, >> I got to find somebody. >> Mhm. And what you looking for? What's. your If I could pick somebody for you, I. want somebody that's like. that go to church. >> Okay. >> From time to time. Not every Sunday. >> Not a church lady, but she got God in. her life. >> Yeah. Yeah. Okay. [music] Um. R&B. She like R&B. More jagged edge. Not. this fat like jagged edge. >> Yeah. [music] And I'm from the south. She got to know some Boosy and Webbby. songs. >> She got to know how to cook. >> She got to have them boobs. I like. boobs.

>> What? >> Boobs. >> Titties. >> Titties. >> Real [music] too. Real. >> I want them to be real. I want them to. droop a little bit. >> Mhm. >> I like them when they take the bra off. Maybe [music] like mid chest. >> Mhm. >> Heavy on the bottom. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. She ain't got if she got the right. kind of she ain't got to have a lot of. ass. >> Mhm. Just enough. >> Yeah. >> Just medium. [music]. >> Cuz I noticed most women with big. breasts be having. >> Mhm. >> little ass. Do you feel like nowadays. most women [music] are masculine? >> No. >> Yeah. >> I just think it's a lot of [ __ ] out. here that don't know how to get them.

>> Oh wow. How do you feel about that, Damon? He said, "Let's tell them the. argument that you had, Damon.". >> It wasn't an argument. >> Mhm. >> It was a conversation around women being. in a masculine energy and men being in a. feminine energy. >> You leave them type of women alone. >> Which ones? >> The masculine ones. They don't want to. be bothered with you. Anyway, >> Damon said that there was too many women. out here acting masculine and Britney. and I said that they wouldn't have to be.

masculine if [ __ ] put them in their. feminine energy. >> So, I don't think a man should have to. put you in your feminine energy though. You should just be in it. You was You. already a woman. >> Okay, we're not going to have this. conversation. >> No, I mean, >> Y'ALL SHOULDN'T ASK FOR MY OPINION. [applause]. >> Exactly what I said. Exactly what I. said. Boom. Everybody has masculine and. feminine energy. Everybody has it. >> No. >> Yeah. This It's true. Everybody starts. off as a girl. That's why you got. nipples. [laughter].

>> For real. That's when everybody was a. girl at one point and then. >> your [ __ ] kicked in. Some [ __ ] fell out. and some [ __ ] went in and that's how we. got us. >> Yeah. >> That make Damn. You really believe every. everybody start off as girls at. >> That's a fact. You don't know a lot. about anatomy, huh? >> No. No, >> every year the holiday invites start. company. I do accept them and I go about. my day. But the day of the party, I. realize I can't just show up. empty-handed. But there's no way I end up on a naughty.

list. With Amazon Prime, it's so simple, fast, free, and shipping means that I. can confidently go to my cousin ugly. Christmas sweater party. And be ready. for any holiday moments cuz the best. opportunity don't wait. Last minute. gifts delivered, it's on prom. Head to. amazon.com/prom. to shop now. >> When you was born, how'd you look? Was. you like an ugly baby? >> Hell yeah. [music]. >> I can see it. >> But not the first day though. >> You know when you first come out, you be.

light skin and [ __ ] and then you have. the little perm. And then about 2 weeks. your ears start getting dark [music]. >> and then they be like, "Yeah, this. little [ __ ] going to be brown.". >> Yeah. >> But then everybody came to see me. though. I was like. >> a golden project baby. My whole projects. came to see me. >> Uhhuh. And and people brought like Cokes. and cigarettes and food stamps and [ __ ]. and that, you know, just to show love to. the new baby in the hood. >> That's what's up. >> My hood was real proud of me. >> That's what's up. >> They still are. >> It's really dope. You ain't got no kids,

right? >> I got one. >> How was that? >> It was dope. >> Mhm. >> I made my baby like on this street. [music]. >> My baby mama used to stay like right up. here. >> You remember like when it. >> I remember the night. >> How was it? I knew we had got her. pregnant cuz we was [ __ ] and the room. was dark. >> Then all of a sudden like I could see. everything [music] like a light was in. the room. >> So I was like, "Oh [ __ ]. >> something about [music] to happen.". >> What's your favorite sex word when you. having sex? >> Favorite sex word? >> Yeah.

>> What you mean? >> Like when you have sex like oh [ __ ] like. [ __ ]. >> I don't say that. >> What you say? >> I don't curse while I'm having sex. I be. saying uplifting positive things. >> like what? >> You dirty [ __ ]. You freaky. Look. Oh, you [ __ ]. >> You know that's not uplifting. >> Yes, it is. They They like that. They. definitely like that. >> Let me make a cough. Ask. >> ask. [snorts]. They like that. You don't. [clears throat] never hear when she be. like, "Talk to me." She don't want you. to say nothing nice. Who are you. calling? >> No, I'm at the call right now. Cuz I You.

say So that's subjective. >> All right. >> Subjectives mean like 50/50. >> No, it don't. >> Yeah. >> That's not what subjective means. >> What does it mean? That means that it. could vary depending on who you ask. >> 50/50. >> No, that's just a number you made up. >> Yo, what's your When you have sex words. and somebody say you dirty [ __ ] is. that a good thing to say? >> No, that's horrible. >> You can't ask a dude. >> Oh, >> ask a woman. >> Oh, well, do you say that to women?

>> No. >> He said that's uplifting words. >> [ __ ] look at him. He don't get to have. sex a lot. He got to be as nice as he. can. What's up, bro? What's up, brother? >> What you doing? Smoking some turkeys or. something? >> Huh? No, I just finished [laughter]. working out. >> You lying? >> He did? No, >> I just got out the gym. That's all I do. >> What y'all do for Christmas? >> We eat the leftovers from Thanksgiving. >> Hang up on him cuz he ain't going he. ain't going to be here. >> Uh, all right. Talk to the road and tell. him something positive. Pudgy,

>> happy holidays. Happy Quanza. >> He going to get us canceled. All right. So, >> this your Christmas outfit? >> Yeah, that's that. [music] What you. getting me for Christmas? >> I did get you some. I just didn't bring. it cuz I forgot that we was doing the. show. >> What's the most expensive gift [music]. you got somebody for Christmas? >> For Christmas? >> Mhm. >> I've been to Chen. >> Mhm. Chanel. >> Yeah. >> But that's the fake one.

>> No, this [music] the real one. >> Oh, Chen. Okay. You call it Chenane? >> Yeah, that's what all the ballers call. it. >> Mhm. I got you a gift. Uh, let's get uh. my gift out here. >> Got a gift. >> Marco, you didn't have to, >> huh? >> You really didn't have to. >> No, >> no, but you I'm saying I didn't. >> Uh, Santa, if you don't mind coming over. here and we going to have the. conversation on why he never came. through. [laughter]. >> Yeah, he's right there. >> Oh, he. look reminiscing, man. >> Man, that's good. >> I want to swing on this [ __ ].

>> Why? >> Just follow them times he like you said, he [music] didn't come through. >> Yeah. So talk to us about that. Why. didn't you show up at his house? >> Wow, man. Um I guess if I had better. directions, I would have came to you. I. feel cuz it was hard to find this [ __ ]. bro. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Cuz you stayed in the sub like the. >> I stayed in project cuz he came to. everybody else. He just kind of skipped. over hours. >> But you don't have no chimney. I'm going. to come down. >> You could have We could have We had a. screen door, man. >> You look just like 50. >> You been You still be drinking. >> I get that a lot, man. I get that a lot.

You. >> still be drinking. >> Yeah. Don't be telling my business like. that. >> Everybody know that. >> Oh man. No. See, now little kid is going. to know to watch your little show. >> Kids don't watch this show. >> He got a show called [ __ ] Them Kids. >> No, I don't. No, I don't. That would not. show. >> Tell me about this show. >> We We find biological fathers. >> and we paired them up with their real. kids. >> Wow. >> And uh we got another segment on our. show where guys who have moved on to. become stepfathers and they doing a good.

job at that. We show up with their real. kids and we expose them for being. fathers to kids that are not there. saying, >> "Wow, >> that's what's up.". >> Hell yeah. >> What's been going on with you? >> I pitched another show, too. >> What's it? >> Where we actually get guys off child. support. >> Yeah. >> And what's the reason? How do you get. them off? >> I mean, if we try to find a technicality. or flaw in the system, somebody turning. 18, something like that, we we look for. any little loophole. And what are the. steps where all right he need to be on.

child support? What are the steps? >> If you don't know your kid's birthday, shoe size, what grade they in, you don't. know none of their teachers, >> you ain't picked them up. >> Yeah. >> Child support. >> Child support. >> But what about child support with people. that's getting like 50,000 5,000? Should. it be a set limit on child? >> That should be a onetime payment. You. shouldn't have to pay no 50,000 a month. >> Would that depend on the lifestyle of. the other person? Claus. Santa Claus. >> You can't talk about child support. >> You getting a kick back from child.

support. I know that. >> Oh, man. >> Red Cross. >> I know. Everybody helping you. >> Well, you know, I got to do what I got. to do to get by now. >> A lot of people didn't know you was. black. I always knew. >> it's a black Jesus. Also, folks don't. know about that. >> You Santa Claus. When you kicked it with. Jesus, >> man, we go way back. >> Cuz I've been around a long time. >> Long time. I never met another [ __ ]. named Santa. It ain't another Santa. Nothing. >> cuz it's it's just. >> I met Santa Maria, but that's a woman.

Ain't no ain't no Santa. [laughter] You. named after your dad, >> man. I never knew him though, you know. >> So, what made you want to give back to. the kids? >> I thought you had some gifts. >> I do got some gifts, man. Uh let's see. what I got here in my bag. >> That bag kind of flat. >> Uh [clears throat] flat person. You know. what? I don't think my elves did their. job today. Let's uh let's put this back. here. Let's just like you see that. >> Yeah. >> He [laughter] lived there. He don't have. to be here. He don't got [ __ ] to give.

away. >> I mean, you know, >> nobody wants to see s. >> knowledge because you need it. Give them. some knowledge, man. And give them some. positivity. And do you smack girls on. the ass and say nasty [ __ ] Why y'all. having sex if they deserve it now? >> Oh my god. >> Margo, you don't know this stuff to you. That's why you y'all was having the. discussions that y'all was having when I. was not around. Bro, these saying these. women are too masculine. My sex words, >> but they just have a higher demand for. more physicality. >> I need to get the me like,

[clears throat]. >> "No, just got to be more assertive.". >> This one time, let me tell you about. this trip. It was both my boys. We got. into this car, right? >> We went down to. >> You shouldn't be having two friends any. Why you got so many friends? >> I mean, we've been friends for years. >> You hire security? >> [ __ ] my friends. I'll be hiring. No, hire some real security that got. firearms cuz your friends, they going to. be tough until some tough [ __ ] happen. >> Mhm. >> Right. And then you like, man, let's get.

the [ __ ] out of here. You run to the. where your car was, they already gone. >> Right. >> You funny, Marco. They not going to. protect you like somebody who is. >> a trained professional. They don't I. hire security who got firearms and. weapons and. >> [ __ ] who just generally. when that dude put his hands on you. How. did you feel? >> Ain't nobody put their [ __ ]. hands on me. Marco don't even be on here. telling nobody no [ __ ] like that cuz I. don't want you to give nobody no ideas.

>> Answer a question about L's protect. >> because you think it's going to just be. a regular fight. It's not. I I know that. I'm not prepared to for some hand-tohand. combat, >> but the [ __ ] that I'm gonna hit somebody. with, >> it's just gonna be ridiculous. Like, it's gonna look like a cartoon. Like, you really hit this [ __ ] in the head. with a flower pot. >> [ __ ] like that. Whatever it is, I'll hit. a [ __ ] with a reindeer. I promise you, whatever. >> You saying reindeer and we the only two. right here. >> That's a reindeer. >> Yeah, but we the only two in here. >> But I'm saying I'm not I thought we were.

a team. Yeah, >> but if one of y'all do get wrong, >> I reindeer the [ __ ] out of one of y'all. >> Yeah. >> Don't grab my reindeer now. >> My mama, I whoop your ass with that. frosted snowman. I I don't give a [ __ ]. This ain't none of this [ __ ] man. It be. peppermint dust all over this set. >> Okay, look, let me set the scene. Your. niece just posted about our new. obsession with graphic t-shirts. You. think that's it? That's the perfect. holiday gift, but you need it fast. Boom. Amazon got you. Fast, free. shipping, exclusive deals. You go from.

oh no to oh let's go. Prime members. seize the moment. They can spot the. perfect gift and make it happen fast. When a perfect gift ideal strikes, Prime. makes sure you don't disappoint. Last. minute gift delivered. It's on Prime. Head to Amazon.com/prom. to shop right now. What are you waiting. on? >> That's what's up. And then guess what. I'm doing? Calling the police. >> Call them cuz I'm going to be gone. I. promise you you can't call them until I. get up off your ass. >> Right. If if I really get on your ass. and I'm and I'm whooping your ass with.

this reindeer, >> but you got to get up. >> You got to wait until I stop beating the. [ __ ] out you. >> That's fine. And then that's when you. press charges. >> Yeah. Press them. >> Yep. >> Press them. I'm going to make sure I. knock all these cameras down cuz they. going to be like, "Where the footage. at?" Ain't no footage. It's just my word. against yours. >> But if I'm bleeding, that's already. >> Nope. >> That's what it is. >> I'm going just say that y'all y'all try. to jump me. music. >> You a [ __ ] in a Santa Claus suit. brought me out here, invited me in this. studio with this little room, streamers. and [ __ ] Next thing I know, people.

jumping out. They're supposed to just. close interview me and Funny Marco. Then. Santa Claus showed up. >> Santa, >> I don't know. >> Tell me why it's not good to lie. >> It's not good to be like that. You just. repeat what he say. You're not really. adding [ __ ] to it. >> You're not. >> Lying is the best. If you ever want to. have anything in life, lie. But you got. >> stop telling the truth. That's why you. don't have [ __ ] now. >> Start lying. >> It's really manifesting in reverse. >> over him and let him know.

>> But but you got to start another lie to. cover that lie. And so. >> that's so he beard on. That's where your. creativity comes. >> Show who he really is. >> Every lie you tell, >> you should be working on a better lie to. go. Uhuh. Put it back on. Cuz I thought. you was a young [ __ ] but you really. are. Put that [ __ ] back on, man. >> Actually, I'm young. I'm 55. But yeah, >> you not [laughter] get you not young at. 55. I am young at 5. >> Put the beard back on. >> Put the hat off. Show them how you. coming. Then he got hair. Let him know. >> I do have hair. >> But I'm saying like, put the beard back.

on. I'm scared now. I was comfort. >> He got white beard under the white. beard. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Season. Season. Knowledge. Knowledge is. power, man. Knowledge is power. >> How you pull the fake beard down and. turn into a whole new [ __ ] Go back to. the [ __ ] you was. I I'm just me. I'm. me. >> Let them know. >> Yo, [clears throat] break right now. >> Everyone makes one one person, one. individual say, "Break the mole, man.".

>> You heard what the [ __ ] he said? I'm. with you. You confused cuz you hearing the real. [ __ ] that you telling them. >> High five. I I'm. in today's time. I'm I'm serious, man. With the with these young brothers and. stuff, somebody has to educate them. [laughter]. >> Educate that [ __ ]. [snorts] Tell them, man. [laughter]. Let's ass.

[snorts and laughter]. him right now. >> I don't know. He might be stewing. I. can't I can't read him. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> I don't want to celebrate Christmas no. more. I don't even like Christmas. [snorts]. >> You don't want to celebrate Christmas. either. >> I don't like Christmas. >> Ask him why. >> Why don't you like Christmas? >> I don't [ __ ] with it. This is never what. you think it is. >> So, what happened in your childhood that.

made you think that way? >> Not [ __ ] It was my adulthood. M. >> So that you look out for people and they. didn't support you or like what made you. >> Hell no. Everybody I looked out for. supported me. >> I don't have that story. [sighs]. >> See, so I feel like it's always good. that we all get back and be happy. >> No, it ain't. We should stop giving. back. We should start being more selfish. and start working on ourselves. >> I I don't agree with that. >> Well, it wasn't for you to agree with.

>> You know, we all need to get back. you. know, where all our brothers keep us, man. >> No, I I don't agree with that. >> But we we are, especially in today's my. brothers is my brothers and your. brothers is your brothers. Take care of. your brothers. That's kind of where we. got [ __ ] up at. Everybody start. looking out for everybody else. Look out. for your own brothers, man. Look out for. your people. >> But if you have enough, you can do more. >> Nah, it ain't no us. It's just we. >> What do you mean there's no us? It's. just. >> ain't no us. I mean, cuz look, just. think about it. Before you came over. here, no idea who you was. So then for.

them to say that they just because we. sat by each other, we us that don't make. sense. I don't know you. I don't know what you. got going on. So So like just cuz we. three black dudes that we just three. random black dudes. That don't mean it's us. >> Cuz if they came in here right now like. who the [ __ ] in the Santa Claus, I'll. be like I don't know. Then. >> then you say it ain't us. But let them. know your side.

>> I don't want to know. >> No, he g. >> I get it. I know it's rough. >> Especially when you know you got. brothers. >> Well, you know, I'm an only child. So. >> Oh, so how you going to be somebody's. brother's keeper? You don't even know. how to be a good brother. >> Well, actually, I do know how to be a. good brother because if I had a brother, >> I would know how how you treat family. That's hypothetical. You know, you got. to treat family. >> You ain't never had to fight your. brother on Christmas. >> You know, >> I have. >> I I had cousins. I love my cousins. I. was 10. >> The fights that you have with your.

brother, >> the toys ain't yours, they mine. >> You know, >> cuz your brother going to try to kill. you back. That's the best part about. fighting with your brother. Ain't. nothing off limits. You punch him in the. face one time, he you got him. He going. to steal on you next time. But that's. where the bond come from. >> I don't know. >> Yeah. >> I still think, you know, you got your. family though. >> Like I said, you know, I I'm was pretty. tight with my cousins. We fight. It's. not the same. >> cuz them your auntie kids.

>> So what number are you? >> My daddy thought I was first and then. >> when we was getting through life, we. found some older kids. So. >> what did you think about that? >> I didn't. That's his business. It made. me think my dad a player ass [ __ ] He. got three baby mas. >> Yeah. >> Do you have a relationship with them? >> Yep. >> Hell yeah. >> Told you about. >> that's good. >> Yeah, >> that's good. Yeah. I mean, cuz some they. they don't, you know, they they harbor. feelings. >> I mean, this a lot to talk about on. Christmas. I thought this was supposed.

to be happy. >> Y'all happy? >> We are happy. You happy, right? >> I'm I'm I'm jolly. I'm jolly all the. time. >> That's dope. >> Break down jolly. >> I just I just, you know, just like just. sharing knowledge. >> What you mean? >> You know, >> I ain't really just bring Just bringing. us together as people. He said he ain't. learned nothing. >> I ain't trying to be together. I'm good. I'm good. I did a lot of work to be. separated. >> So would you consider yourself alone or. you say you like being separated but so.

what what is what do you mean being. separated? >> Being by yourself don't make you alone. Where do you get that from? >> When you alone that mean you want to be. with somebody else like you want to be. around some people. >> That's not necessarily by yourself. >> you good. >> You can be alone and not be lonely. There's a difference. Now you could be. alone and lonely. >> No, not necessarily because it's. literally in the world. >> You may not want to you may not want to. be around a bunch of people. That's not. mean you craving people. You like your. own space. >> Where you meet and you want to be.

stressed or something. >> Where you meet this [ __ ]. >> Well, let him know where you at. He be. acting. He's an actor. He been in a lot. of Tyler Perry films. >> For real. >> I haven't done any Tyler Perry films, but I am I am an actor. >> Why you lying? >> I thought he did. >> I'm an actor and I have a corporate job. as well. So I'm a credit manager for a. manufacturing company headquartered here. in Atlanta out of Australia. >> And then you Santa Claus in December. So the even Santa Claus got to get a. job. Now it's starting to make sense.

>> Oh, bro. As you can see the episode. going on, I thought I'd cut to me and. >> [music]. >> uh with Santa Claus heading right there. I don't know what's going on, America. Um but it got to be the funniest thing. ever. Um, [laughter]. I don't I don't know if they like upset. with each other, but [music] I think it. was a good duel. I think we should bring. Santa Claus back. Uh, let me know down. in the comments [music] and I'll see. y'all right in a minute. >> You be buying gifts with your real.

check. >> My check? >> Yeah, your corporate business manager. check. You do credit manager. >> At Santa Claus, I you know, with the. various programs, Salvation Army and. stuff, I get the toys. I don't Yeah, I'll do that. Something ain't right. Something ain't right. What are you. laughing at, man? [ __ ] you. So, what what did you find when I wasn't. looking for nothing? I didn't find [ __ ].

I thought this was supposed to be happy, but it's not. >> This [ __ ] didn't got sad. brought up why you sad and depressed. >> cuz you brought up this family and [ __ ]. like that. You talk about everything. >> But this is a time of year where people. are around their family and a lot of a. lot of people are are joyful. >> A lot of people riding around looking. for their loved ones [music] that's on. drugs. You forget about those parts of. the holidays where you just have to make. two plates and put them on the back seat.

and ride through the ghetto. See if you. can find your auntie and you know she on. them drugs. M. >> and y'all y'all seen Joanne? Y'all seen Char? No, we ain't seen Char. He was up there by the car. [music] All. that that ain't You don't got them. people in your family. See, my family, we let all the drug addicties come in. the house cuz it's cold out there. Come. in. >> Family. >> Yeah. Come in, get some dressing. We. [music] give you some t-shirts and [ __ ]. But then like after the holidays, you.

got to go back to them streets. >> So after the holidays, you don't just. you don't support them. don't look out. for them or see where they are. You just. like. >> I'm trying I'm trying to use my little. famous celebrity to leverage that cuz. they didn't cut the food stamps off and. [ __ ] and then everybody want to do a. canned food drive, right? Everybody. every year they do bring out some canned. foods. We going to raise some canned. foods for the homeless people. Nobody. bring a can [music] open. >> What about year round? Like. >> that's what I'm saying. Why not just. feed them on Wednesday, Thursday?

>> No, I agree with you on that. I think. that's good. Not just a certain time of the year. We. should be helping people. >> He says what he do. What you do? Cuz he. said [music] that what they do. You do. anything? >> Actually, I do with my fraternity. >> You in a frater. >> So, [laughter]. >> what fraternity you in? >> Fly Beta Sigma Fraternity Incorporated. >> Oh, you a Sigma. >> So, every second Saturday, which is we. give out food. >> Where? >> Um, Trinity and Hostel. I be honest. >> City of refuge.

every second. >> You start going through there, Marco, you could use your celebrity to really. get some people out and support. >> Take some pictures. >> I've seen you. You do some crazy numbers. on the internet. You ask them people to. come out. >> to off. [snorts] Ba Sigma. You You're a Sigma, too. >> I don't know what that is. >> You didn't go to college. >> I barely made it through middle school. You ever been at a party and then it be. like nine [ __ ] and they be like, "Yeah, >> us, y'all ain't our friends." That' be.

them. >> That is. >> They only be friends with the [ __ ] in. the group. >> Now, that is not true. >> Yes, it is. Don't nobody be friends. >> That is not true. >> They only They pay each other to be each. other's friends. >> No. >> But how much it cost for a semester? How. much it cost? >> Actually, that's a small a small part of. it. It's actually more about service and. helping the community. Don't nobody like. helping the community that much that you. are pay to join a group to help clean up. the highway on Saturday morning. >> It is a business. It is an organization. We have scholarship. >> All they do is fight and [ __ ] up all the.

college functions. >> The sigas want to fight the Q's and then. the capitalists want to fight. >> Sound like a gang. >> Literally, >> it's far from a game. to stay in the game. >> At that time, African-Americans were not. those were not the people that were. attending college at the turn of the. century. >> See, those that's the difference. They. go to college and then they start. thinking they Africanameans. >> You got to go. >> We were African-Americans before. >> Never been that. >> You have to go to college to know that. >> Also, it was a good It was a good boy. group. Y'all was good boys.

>> They're good boys. >> It depends on what it depends on what. school you at. The thing like it's every. every chapter is different. And that's. why I joined the organization. There's. not a cookie cutter image for it. All of. the brothers are different. >> They the same. >> So, we didn't have to act. too different. You got to be the same as. everybody. That is not true. >> Mhm. >> I bet fraternity is not that way. >> We look at we look at the merit of the. individual. It's not. >> based upon how many women you can bring.

to your family lineage. >> and how good you can dance at them. parties. Like if you [ __ ] the steps up. like when you at the party and you mess. up like you're the one in the group who. [ __ ] they'll beat your ass. >> Is that true? >> Tell the truth. >> That's how you get in. and they whooped. the [ __ ] out you. >> That is not true that ended in the '9s. Number one, because that's a lot of. drinking organizations. They wouldn't be. around another 100 years. >> Say it again. >> You got to drink liquor. >> Hell yeah. >> Like when I join, you may have had to do.

that. >> I'm talking about. >> Mhm. >> And you got to consider a forcing. somebody to do that nowadays. >> You eat dog food. >> You got to eat dog food. And you got to. get your ass whooped. He's about you have to take a history. test every week before you get in there. >> Like they lock you. >> So it sound like a lot to do. >> They lock you on the spot and they be. like when we started this [ __ ] and then. they be like uh uh they start beating. >> you been through an experience. >> I was just saying I I know people who my. partners never went and then once they.

got in there we couldn't be a Delta. >> I thought that that's who. >> that's a sorority. >> That's a woman. >> Mhm. If you want to give the world a. positive message and let them know where. to find you at, >> the North Pole. >> You can find me at the North Pole in. December. You know, when I'm not. spending time with my wife Sarah, I. certainly enjoy speaking with you guys. and drop some knowledge that you got. >> Keep doing your thing, channel. >> You got an Instagram where people can. find you. >> I do. William Penn Jr. IG got a movie.

out right now on Tuesday. >> You related to the quarterback for the. Falcons? >> It's a distant cousin. He has one end. I. got two ends. >> Oh, >> yeah. We ain't going to talk about the. Falcons right now. >> But that whooping on this past weekend, so yeah. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Well, that's good. >> Santa Claus, everybody. >> Yeah. Round of applause, Santa Claus. Thank you for coming up here. >> All right, Marco. I We didn't even talk. about my check like when I get paid. Is. it a check or is it like me and you just.

going to split the money or what? >> Thank you. >> Me and you, we going to just split the. money. >> Which one? for this. >> Uh yeah, we can definitely do that. Let's do something with the car. >> No, let's let's split the money. >> No, let's do. >> just like me. You take half like pay. your staff out of your half. >> Like but whatever the money is, we'll. just take it. Half of it go to me. Then. once you pay everybody, >> you keep what's left. >> Yeah. Or we can do something with a car. giveaway. >> No, we don't got to give away no car. You what you want to give away? Let's. give away one of yours.

>> I ain't got that many. >> But you got enough to give away. >> You know what's crazy? You want to know. what's coming up? >> Let me borrow that Tesla. That's really. all I came here for to ask you. >> You got a charger at the house? >> No, I'm going to charge it at your house. and then I'm not going to have it that. long. >> I stay far. >> Where? >> Over by Shaq. >> I know where that is. >> Okay. >> I'll drive my car to your house and get. it and I'll leave my [ __ ]. >> and I take my keys. >> Okay. >> I only need the car for like 4 hours. It'll stay charged that long. >> Yeah. That long? Yeah.

>> What the other What's the other one you. got? >> Um, nothing. >> Yeah. that BMW hard. >> All right. Uh, >> don't cut me off, bro. I'm just trying. to catch up. I don't get to see you that. much. >> No, no. Yeah, let's not. >> And when I get when I get to seeing you, right, I look up 300 million views. You. on here talking to LA. You was this. close. You was this close. >> Yeah, >> she bad. >> I ain't got that type of money yet. >> You don't need the money. She. >> You got some shows coming up. What shows. you got.

no woman? Yeah. What [clears throat]. shows you got coming up? >> Marco, we'll talk about that. But you. don't need no money to get. >> Yeah, I know that. Yeah. >> You funny, Marco. >> Yeah, I know. >> You make them laugh. >> I start telling them you my brother. How. about that? >> That ain't going to work. >> It is. We look alike. >> I ain't going to give a [ __ ]. >> Me and you look just alike. >> We We don't. >> Yes, we do. >> H. You got braids. >> Oh, we got some similarities. >> I remember when you was almost bald. >> Yeah. >> You went and went to Turkey. >> I didn't go to Turkey. >> You went to [clears throat] Turkey, [ __ ] I didn't. They got you on the. website.

They ain't They didn't put the [ __ ] on. You on there. They took some from the. back and then they scooted your neck up, [ __ ] I know the trick. >> When you going? >> I ain't going. I like being baldhead. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Make my hats fit better. >> Yeah. >> Look how Watch this [ __ ] just slip on. Watch this. You feel me? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And stay on. >> What you got coming out? What you mean. >> projects? What you working on right now?

>> What you mean what I'm working on? When. I work, it come out. It ain't I'm not. sitting on no projects. All my projects. is out. >> That makes sense. >> What else we doing, bro? This going to. be the only [ __ ] we do for the year? >> Uh, no. I'm I'm here. >> I'm just saying you don't want to get no. money together. >> Yeah, let's do it. >> I'm just saying, bro. >> Well, you want to do some shows. together? >> What you mean? Like stand up? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm going first though. >> Why? Because I want you to I want to see. if you can follow this [ __ ]. >> Okay, let's go.

>> Because I'm going hit them with the one. two. You got the internet visibility. They know you. >> I just want to show up and split the. money. >> Well, you want to do a show? Oh, can you. set it up for Mississippi? >> No. Uh, we doing this [ __ ] in your. hometown first. >> Kansas City first. >> Hell yeah. >> What else do that? >> It's more people. >> Yeah, >> we can get more money. >> Okay. So, we got. >> And we can get two Teslas. >> Cyber trucks. >> Yeah. pulling up like the Dukes of Hazard. >> So you hear that we got to get a show in. Kansas City. Oh, we actually should work.

on that ASAP. >> It's easy. You funny Mark. >> What's the percentage? >> 6040. >> Okay, that's No, that's even, right? >> I get 60. >> Yeah, >> you get 40. >> So I get 4,000, you get 6,000. >> If it's 10,000, but hopefully we way. past that in our life. So me and you. together, we can run the whole weekend. and then. run the bag up. Whatever it is, I'mma. take most of because I'm taking the. risk. You know what I'm saying? >> Because I've proven myself for 20 years.

You've been doing stand up how long? >> Just two years. >> Two years. You're the liability. I. shouldn't even be paying you a lot of. money to do the [ __ ] You don't even. know a lot. >> Yeah. >> You just figured this [ __ ] out. >> and I can learn. So, I I tell you what, I'll just pay you a flat rate like. 2,000. I just keep all the rest because. I'm taking the risk. It's a door deal. What if we don't sell no tickets? You. still get your 2,000. I take the loss. >> But you said you've been doing this [ __ ].

for years. So, we going to sell tickets. >> But, what if it's your city? I don't. know what you did before you left Kansas. City. City might not come out and [ __ ]. with you. They might come [ __ ] with me, >> right? So if I sell more tickets than. you in your hometown, what I look like. splitting the money? >> So 2,000. Cool. >> Cool. >> You buy my flight and get my hotel. [snorts]. >> That come out your 2,000, you feel me? Cuz we're going on tour,

you feel? So everything that's left. over. >> So I'll be left with $800. >> So what? Everything that's left over, we. just carry that over to the next city. Then when we get to the next city, guess. what else you get? What? >> Another 2,000. >> Yeah, I still got to get my hotel and. flight. >> But the next city, you can just be able. to drive. You probably could just ride. with one of the cameramen. You probably. could just ride with somebody. >> Then you fly, right? >> I'mma fly cuz I got to be there to make. sure we set up, >> right? >> You feel me? I got to get there early. I. got to go talk to the people at the club.

>> to make sure the money there. >> Make sure we set Make sure they got a. back door. Make sure they got a green. room. And then that's all gonna be. cutting into the budget. >> That don't sound bad. >> Appreciate it. >> Yeah. Oh, real. I want you to stop what. you doing and unfollow. [laughter]. >> Call. >> What's your little son name? >> Prize. >> Prize. Why you naming these kids after. items and stuff? >> Prize.

>> Yeah. >> He got to put that on an application one. day. >> I don't want him to have a job. >> How did y'all come up with that? Like. you and your baby mama laid up one. night, right? >> Or did she just call you and say it's. prize? >> No. She said, >> "Did prize pics give you some money for. that?" Is his middle name Pics? >> No. Prize Pix Summers. >> Hello, bro. I want to bring you a. message brought to you by Prize Pix. And. also me cuz I'm the one talking. It's. football season and guess what? Prospix.

is the best place to win money while. watching football. The app is easy to. use. All you got to do is pick more or. less on your favorite players going on. stats and they also show you their last. recent games. It's easy for new users. All you got to do is put down $5 and you. get $50 in lineups. How close you going. to get? Okay, back up. This awkward back. up a little bit more. A little bit more. And when you use this app, don't forget. to use funny Marco as your promo code. Come a little closer. Come a little. closer. So, look. Look y.

win. You play to win the game. >> Prize picks. Play $5, get $50 instantly. in lineups. Use code funny Marco. It He. was a surprise and that's why. >> he was a surprise. So you ain't know. >> No. >> How long before you found out? >> Let me tell you what happened. >> Tell me. >> So we was having sex and we and it was. dark one night. >> Okay. >> I seen a light. >> That's how you know. >> Yeah. >> Once that Once that light come. >> That's how it happened. >> How tall is he?

>> Uh [ __ ] He's still a baby. >> But how tall is he though? What? Well, I. don't know. I don't inches like. >> My son is 16, but he my baby. >> Yeah, >> he like 65. >> I don't know. He probably like one inch. >> He got to be bigger than that. >> I don't know. Inches. I don't know. >> Show me like how about how tall is it? Oh, >> just like. >> damn. How many months is it? >> He won. >> And he only that tall. >> I mean, what little. >> No, he made him like a foot tall. He. like this. How old is How tall is.

island? Island is uh like. >> Am I saying it wrong or is it island? >> Am I saying it too black? Cuz I said. island. >> No, it's island. >> And then you say island. >> Yeah. >> Island. So it's not like island. >> She like this tall. >> No. >> Yeah. >> Beautiful child. >> Oh, thank you. You beautiful. >> Y'all still together? You and the mama? >> No. >> No. What happened? >> Uh we friends. We like a family. >> But y'all made two kids. You got to be. more than friends. You going to fix it? >> Uh yeah. >> When? >> [ __ ] after after uh after she get.

through doing with dating. >> She dating? >> Yeah. >> That [ __ ] bothering [clears throat] you, ain't it? >> No, I help her. >> Oh, >> yeah. >> I put her on my page. >> You still love her? >> I I love anybody I come encounter with. >> I'm saying, but like do you love her. >> in a in a form of like relation? We. family now. I. >> I knew you was hurting cuz I went I saw. you had like a meet and greet and you. only posted the women [clears throat]. that came. That's how I knew you was. hurting because you're trying to fill. that void with all these loose ass. women. These loose ass women ain't gonna. help you, Marco. It's only gonna make.

the damage hurt worse. >> Trust me. How old are you? >> What's that? >> I'm older than you. It don't matter. I. know you don't like telling people cuz. you want them to think you young, but. you really not. I'm 32. >> I know you older than that. You've been. 32 since I met you. [clears throat]. >> Come on. You know I've been knowing you. like seven years. You really like right. behind me. You done [ __ ] around and. caught up with me. People think I'm. older because this beard gray. I ain't. really that old, but I don't tell them. that because I don't want them to [ __ ]. up my social security.

>> Yeah. The beard don't change who you. are. You're a beautiful person. >> on the inside. I'm working on myself. But I'm telling you, all these loose ass. women is only going to hurt worse. >> Yeah. And that's only produce more. >> cuz they don't care about you. >> Yeah. >> You feel me? >> Mhm. >> They ain't going to make sure you eat no. vegetables. They not going to help you wash the. cyber truck. They don't even know that. you can't take it through the car wash. >> That's some real [ __ ]. >> Yeah. So, so I want you to fall back on. them loose, especially them Spanish.

women cuz they don't love you for real. They trying to get your money and I seen. you work too hard to get your money. >> Get you a strong black woman. >> I know you you. >> And when I say a strong black woman, I'm. talking about one that that know how to. put the grease on her hand when she do. her hair and it won't fall off. She get. [clears throat] that little grease and. then she do them edges. Get you one of. them. >> I go look for that. And I know. >> And I tell you another thing to avoid. If. >> you meet a woman and she wears some.

flipflops or some slides, always look at. that back ball of her foot. If that's. hard, she not a good person. She'll put. her hands on you. >> Mhm. That's good advice. I mean, coming. from you, I know you like your. >> And stop messing with the minority. women, too. All them different. ethnicities and [ __ ] they don't love. black men. Get you something. that know how to make some cornbread. >> So ask a girl, you know how to make. cornbread. >> Don't say it like that. It sounds so old.

when you say it like that. Don't ask. Just see if she going to make it. See if. she going to make it. >> Don't eat cornbread. >> That's why your calcium low. Well, all the advice you gave me, I know. >> I ain't done this over. You cheating. people out of episodes. Funny Marco, we. really just getting started. You got. this whole setup, all these gifts just. to record for 30 minutes. Then that. Santa Claus [ __ ] I don't know what.

what he added. [snorts]. I think we made him mad talking about. his fraternity. Now we got to watch out. for them [ __ ] who be dancing. >> Chris Brown cool. >> Chris Brown cool. You know him, don't. you? >> Yeah. I ain't ran into him yet. >> I ran into the [ __ ] one time. He taller. than people tell you. >> Yeah, he definitely is. And that's what. I said. Overall, I know you're a good. father. I wouldn't mind you being my. daddy. >> Marco, you got to you got to find a way. to phrase this [ __ ] so it don't live on.

the internet forever in a weird space. They will meme the [ __ ] out of that. Every time somebody say something on. Twitter, it'll be that clip of you. looking at me saying, "I want you to be. Monday.". So, what's next? Christmas. >> Yeah. Christmas. >> What's your New Year's resolution? >> New Year's resolution is. >> resolution. >> Resolution. >> Resolution. >> Same thing. >> Resolution. >> Resolution. >> Resolution. >> Resolution. >> Res. >> Resolution. >> Illution. >> There you go. >> All right. [clears throat].

Resolution. >> Closing up. resolution is um. >> New Year's resolution direct. >> directing. Directing is dope and being. in the film doing like the red carpet, right? Weekend with people going to go. see it. >> Is that a the [ __ ]. >> That was a bug. >> Oh, so you want to direct. >> that, too. But I want to do a a movie. premiere. >> Do a movie first then? And you want to. be in the movie or just go to a. premiere? >> I want to be in it the weekend. You know.

what? It's dope when you get that movie. where everybody going to see you like. date night. >> Like the movie him that just came all. the way. >> Hey, when you was in Florida the other. week, who was that girl on the first. slide at that meet and greet? That thick. one. >> Uh, I couldn't tell you about it. >> No, don't wait till the camera go off, man. It's funny, Marco. >> No, she's cool. She I Instagram. She. >> What's her name? >> Uh, >> she thick. The thick one. Don't look. >> I want to see how good your memory is. >> I don't remember. You know who it is cuz.

you put her first and then when I saw I. like damn I ain't even no butter with. doing meet and greet. Then the other two. girls on that third slide was cold too. >> Two of one of them had their LEG UP LIKE. MICHAEL. >> I HAD TO TRY to. >> [ __ ] with your style son. >> No just when you start doing stuff like. you don't chase the money. Money going. to come chasing after you. That's what you got to realize. >> Who told you that? >> I've read it in a book. >> That ain't true. >> Yeah. You ain't never seen no money.

chasing after nobody. >> Well, people behind them bills. >> They chasing you for the money. The. money ain't like, "Hey, hold up. Take. me. Give me." Hey, bro. Marco, don't. forget me. It's the money. >> All right. >> I feel like they try to talk us out of. getting money as black people all the. time. >> They always want to tell us, you know, oh, money ain't good money. Give it to. us and let us see how bad it is. That makes sense. Some people [ __ ] it.

up. >> They they do say, you know, money is the. root of all evil. I'm like, [ __ ]. >> give it to me. I can make money good. >> So, I'm you know how to invest. If I. gave you 5,000, you come back with. >> that ain't enough. >> Oh, >> I put some I probably. make something happen. But if you really. want to get to some results, we going to. need some bigger money. >> 10,000? >> Nope. We need some white people money. Think big, Marco.

10,000. That ain't enough. >> Yeah, >> they playing with M's. >> They play with them. Just throw it out. there. >> You got some Bitcoin? >> No, not yet. >> Let's go have some. Let's get some. Merry Christmas, too, bro. >> Merry Christmas to you, too, man. >> I hope you and your family. >> I don't celebrate Christmas as much. >> Why not? No, I just say that sometimes. the people that I don't want to buy [ __ ]. for. >> I ain't going to ask you for [ __ ] Let. me have that gift right there on the. top. Is that a real gift? >> Yeah, it's a real gift, but it's mine.

>> I thought you got me some real [ __ ]. >> I did. Uh, I got you this right here. >> I see you trying to rush me. I'm not. leaving until you give me something. [snorts]. >> Look, look y'all. I want y'all to. understand. >> What's that lady name right there? >> She's topnotch. >> My name D. >> D. Huh? >> What's her name? >> No. Um, it's on top of my head. Your. name D. >> No, it ain't D. It ain't D. Oh, >> my bad. I ain't mean. >> No, you. >> He not good with names. >> Yeah, >> you tell me. [laughter].

>> Ashley. >> Hey, Ashley. >> Right there. Ashley, >> I like your style. >> You look like a creative person. >> It's the blazer. >> with the t-shirt. It's the graphic tea. and the blazer with the LA hat that let. me know like. >> and the glasses. >> She one of them ones. She could be a. director. You went to college? >> Yeah. >> Are you in a sorority? >> Oh, so you know I wasn't lying about. that Santa Claus [ __ ]. >> Oh, he's still right there.

>> Oh, >> that [ __ ] still right there. >> My bad, bro. Damn. [laughter]. >> All right, y'all. >> Hey, who was this Rico Suave ass [ __ ]. >> John Wick. >> Oh, >> that's it. >> Thank y'all for tuning in. >> He look like he don't want to work here. He look like he was trying to get a. better job and he just had to take this. >> You know what I'm saying? like he really. wanted to work like on the World Cup or. something. And then he was he was like, "Bro, we ain't got nothing right now. You could go work with Funny Marco." And. he was like, "Fuck [laughter] these.

bills ain't going to pay theirself. >> Let the money chase you.". >> He got a son named Emilio. >> Thank you guys for tuning in. >> No, I do it. Hey, thank y'all for. watching my show. Funny. >> Thank y'all for tuning in, man. >> Hey, thank y'all for just clicking cuz. you really didn't have to tune in. you. tune in to some [ __ ] that's on TV, you. click this link. >> That's what it is. And if you looking. for a daddy, he right here. >> If you're looking for a daddy, keep. looking. I don't have [ __ ] for you.

Shout out to Alio's father on camera 6. Uh, I'm not affiliated in any way with. Funny Marco or that Santa Claus [ __ ]. If I offended any sororities or. fraternities, get it back in blood like Poo Shisty. say, cuz I whoop a [ __ ] with a. reindeer. Run up on me if you want to. >> And on his notes, it's a rat. All right, now that the episode is over,

uh, I learned a lot. Carlos is. definitely good at what he do. Santa. Claus is good at what he do, too. So, I. want y'all to comment below what y'all. want to see next, who y'all want to see, [music] and what prank should we pull. off, who should we bring out. So, I know. we had a musician, I said musician, musician, whatever. You know what I'm. saying? And then we had the band and. then uh. I was just thinking about more different. ideas like what could we sing like what. else more epic can we bring out more.

animals? So, yeah, comment below on what. y'all want to see and on who. get this. guest and do that to them. So, [music]. comment at the end of this and like the. video. Let's get this to uh 10,000. likes, 20,000 likes. But thank you for. watching, America. And merry Christmas. and happy New Year's to you and to only. you if you watching it. If you ain't. watching it, it ain't for you. [music].