Jack Funny Speed Dates GRANDMAS

Wave. I'm going to whisper something in your. ear. >> What you trying to whisper in my ear? You want this. Don't you? It's just a simple yes or no question. I'm in the middle.

Well, that's a good place to be. Right in the middle. >> [music]. [music]. >> Hello, world. This is uh Funny Marco. And I'm here with Jack Funny. Known as a comedian.

Slash one that's put a lot of projects. together. [music] Thank you, brother. Uh. creativity. Father. I got yes. Two boys. Don't go to church. [music]. Somebody that does not go to church at. all. Um I pray. Yeah, but I'm saying you don't go to. church. I talk to God. But I'm not this. you don't go to church. >> go to church? Again, this is somebody that just. doesn't go to church. >> Don't worry about me. You worry about. the wrong thing. No, I'm saying he. doesn't go to church. >> Okay. You can keep saying that all you. want. Do you talk to God? Yes. [music].

Do you talk to God every day? You know. what's crazy? He live through me. He just float me. Keep going. He live. through all of us. How are you feeling. like at this moment? Just with. everything you got. coming your way, just pounding at you. Uh. It's a lot of pressure. Mhm. You know. how it is, but I always end up managing. to keep it coming. You know, out of the blessings from the. Lord. What made you drop out of school? >> [music]. >> I ain't drop out of school.

The hell is you talking about? What are. you saying? >> You you completed school? Yeah. >> All the grades, first, second, third, and fourth. Who told you this [ __ ]. I'm just saying how you carry yourself. >> Well, I ain't not saying like I. graduated or something. You. >> [music]. >> That's [ __ ] up. What what what like. why why. >> So what are your jobs that you have. worked? [music]. Huh? What jobs have you worked? Oh, what. jobs have I worked? Well, my first job. was Foot Locker. Exactly. That's where.

people go when they struggle through. school. >> No, this is after high school. >> Right. So why did you graduate and go to. Foot Locker? That's a kid job. >> [music]. >> Let the kids work there. >> Uh because I needed some money. I'm. saying why didn't you do anything like. be a doctor, a pilot? Why didn't you go. like I'm saying if you are. >> I didn't want to be a doctor. >> [music]. >> Pilot? A pilot for what? Flying planes? Nah, I didn't want to do that. You. wanted so you grew up to work at Foot. Locker. [music]. That's not the only job I had. What else. other one? >> Where did you work at? What's the other. job? Foot Locker. [music].

Then after that, I worked at Walmart. At least I had a job. Let me see. Where was I at after that? >> 7 Up, too? Yeah, 7 Up. Yeah, but that. was later on. So kids. >> later on, man. I'm kids as you can see. >> a lot of jobs, like Tommy. Okay, kids. Kids as you can see, no matter what you. go through, getting a diploma, you still. [music] can end up working. at 7 Up. >> Man, [ __ ] what you talking about. Get. Oh, get you some money. No, no, no. Chase your dreams. Straight If you can't.

Chase your dreams, get you some money. What are you You don't want to be around. here broke. No, you It's okay. >> Like him, like how he was. Uh you can go. You could be broke for a little bit. No, listen. You can It's okay to be broke. for a little bit. Manifest money, [music] and that's when you talk to God. And God going to get you paid. If you. sit down all day and say God, bring me. some money, he going to bring it to you. Yeah. Just sit there. Okay. Yeah. You. got to talk to God every day though. That's what I'm saying. >> Ask every day. >> Not just when you want a job. No money. Not when you just want money. Hey, you. ever had a link card, food stamp card? A.

link card? >> Food stamp card. [music] Oh, yeah. Uh. well, my mama did. Mhm. I never had one. >> Do you think your mom ever sold food. stamps? I feel like she probably sold. something else. Snitch. >> [music]. >> I know it. We got shots. Come here we go. You got a. chaser, too? Yeah. Appreciate you. Thank. you. Oh, we need to. >> Oh, you got me, too? It's Sprite. >> What you trying to do in here? >> Hold on. What is it? Oh, you mixed it. Oh, you mixed it. She trying to get me. drunk. >> Here we go. What's this right here? [laughter]. [ __ ]. >> [music]. >> Woo.

Cheers to success here. >> And working at doing. >> Friendship. You know, we going to cheers. >> Brotherhood. >> [music]. >> We going to cheers to being at. >> And all that Graduating from high school. and going straight to 7 Up, working at a. warehouse. >> [laughter]. >> So what did you would do after high. school? Man, let me find out you trying. to did it me. >> [laughter]. >> Then you gave [clears throat] me two. cups. What type of [ __ ] is that? That's. a shot. You going to drink it all? Huh? You going to drink it all?

Why you so concerned, bro? >> I'm just asking. >> to drink it all, is you going to drink. all your [ __ ]. >> Yeah, I am. I like the pants, brother. Appreciate you. Do you think you is. Michael Jackson? Who you think you is, Powerpuff, bro? But hell no. I used to watch that. You. did? Who's your favorite character? Oh, okay. Was Patrick your favorite character in. SpongeBob? Why you saying that? Why you say that, bro? >> I'm asking. Was he? >> Why? Why? Cuz he was a special.

>> Cuz he was slow? What you trying to say? I'm slow? No, the kids are watching. Patrick was very. smart. So what you trying to say? Okay, let's. do a different character. Character. [music] Tasmanian Devil. Taz. You like Taz? That just run around. >> No, I really didn't like him. I like the. Bugs Bunny. Uh Yeah, Bugs Bunny. Mhm. That was my dog. >> Uh Buzz and then what else other Stitch? Did you like [music] Stitch? >> Stitch probably. The one that couldn't. talk for it. You kind of look like. Stitch.

You kind of look like him. Don't I? Yeah, a little bit. Just a. little bit. >> up a picture of me and Stitch. Pop it. up. Put it next to his face. Thank you. In real time. See what I'm saying? [ __ ] you ain't see it? Huh? Cuz I know. it's going to pop up. >> So why did you say see what I'm saying? Like it's a kid show. I'm saying cuz I. know that's how it's going to pop up. You feel me? >> [laughter]. >> Uh you ever got beat up in school? Uh no. So what. >> I did I did lose a fight though. Why? What happened? What was it? I forgot.

what happened, and I didn't fight back. cuz I wasn't a fighter. Why Oh, I think. I was about like 8 years old. >> All right. That's what you want to say. And then my mama whooped my ass cuz I. ain't fight back. >> So you ain't never got into a fight when. you was 15, 18? >> Nope. I never had no beef with nobody. >> Nah, you [ __ ] I was always I mean I'm. [ __ ] Did you ever get into a fight? Nah, I wasn't fighting for anything. Nah, a lot of people they like Jack. cool, man. You know, he cool. But he. don't do nothing to nobody. >> Have you ever stole? Like was you like. Well, I know you stole, but when you.

used to steal. >> How you know I stole? What I stole, bro? You look like a thief. >> Why? How would a thief look like? >> A hat tilted to the side. You stare You stereotyping me. I like. stereos. What have you stole before? Then I go. next. All right. No, you go first. I'm not a smart. criminal. Criminal? You mean criminal? Yeah. Yeah, say it. Criminal. No, criminal. Criminal. Yes. I'm not a. smart criminal.

You a slow criminal. >> [laughter]. >> I'm fast. >> You a slow huh? I can run. I ain't slow. I'mma race you after this. Growing up in. Detroit, what do you feel like people. like to see you They see you now. What. do they feel like you think they say? Like your teachers and everybody that. went to classes with you that you. switched up on it. They can't get on the. phone with you no more. I switched up on. them? Why you keep doing that? What are. you talking about? >> like all right. The people that's in. high school. You ain't talking to. everybody in high school. Who is? >> No, I'm not. >> So you switched up on them. No, I didn't. switch up on them. You not talking to.

them no more. I ain't got to talk to. them no more. Everybody grown as hell. But they probably still. >> Everybody got their own lives. Right. So. when they think about you, what do you. think? >> a couple of people that's my friends. Yeah. >> From uh high school I still I know. So. what about the ones you switched up on? The ones you switched up on. What do you. think they think of you [music] right. now? Why is you keep saying that? Switching up on who? People I never I. said something to. >> school with. Like who? My friends? 10th. grade. You not cool with everybody that. you was in 10th grade. >> Hell no. Did you go to 10th grade? Yeah,

I went to 10th grade. I went I went past. the 10th grade. Uh [music] I went past. the 11th grade. When did you get to the. >> And I graduated. What year? >> [music]. >> 2012. What what what grade? 12th grade. Uh Ain't no more grades. after that, right? No. I'm just. checking. >> [music]. >> I can tell you ain't pass. I did a. little bit. What about college? How was. college for you? >> College I went to. uh. Wayne County Community College. >> How long you go there? About.

>> Wayne? Is that a [ __ ] Wayne County. That's the county. >> like a jail. That's. >> [music]. >> I mean that's a jail, too. That's a jail, too. >> So it was a Wayne County Community. College. [music] Community Oh, community. mean anybody can go. Easy. I mean Yeah. >> Yeah. Like community [ __ ] everybody. had it. >> Yeah. Mhm. So it wasn't special then. >> Yeah. You Did you graduate? No. Aw. Did. you go to college? Nah, I can't [ __ ]. Are you what? You know I didn't go to. college. >> [music].

>> Why you say that? I mean you I don't. have to go in deep in that. I just don't. I just feel like I was too advanced for. college. I just had bigger dreams. >> [music]. >> So after high school you just went. straight to work? >> Nah, really I went to be a construction. worker. So I did. >> [laughter]. >> Why you laughing? [snorts]. That was at 18? 19? >> When you No, you graduated at 23, didn't. [music] you? Mhm. I'm in age 21. That's insane. >> No, cuz my birthday was late June 19th. >> That's. >> That's crazy. No, hell no. Because my.

birthday [ __ ] my [clears throat]. birthday was in June 19th. >> [music]. >> You was one of them. kids in school with a full beard. in school [music]. and was dating a ninth grader. I mean Who you calling? No, my brother. see how old I was when I graduated. That's crazy. I don't know that [ __ ]. You. Hey, how old was I how old was I when I. graduated? Like 22 or 21? I was 21. All. right, I'll be right back. How is that normal? That's hell. You was.

a grown ass man legally. graduating high school. That was normal. >> That's normal. >> No, it's not. >> What age you supposed to graduate? >> Like 17, 18. That's childish. What? >> [ __ ] I stayed in the Let me tell you. why I was in school. They fed you and. there was benefits that came with it. What the [ __ ] I look like getting out? >> Oh, that's crazy. I remember my. teacher asked when I was in elementary. school, she had asked you she was like. [music]. That's what the slow kids do. They laugh. before they get to their story. She was.

like, "Why do you think people come to. [music] school? It was really to learn, right? But I. told her [ __ ] for the school lunch. Right. You was hungry? [music]. Cuz that's your cuz your mama sold the. food stamps, right? Yeah, I struggled. We struggled. Yeah. We struggled. I ain't going to lie to. you. It's not necessarily struggle if. that's all you know. >> We struggled in the hood. Yeah. So what. do you what is your advice to the kids. in the hood right now that's watching. you uh look in the camera and tell them. You said what? >> The kids that are watching you right now.

that want to be you when they grow up. >> You said what? Talk this way cuz I can't. hear you when you keep turning your. head. >> I'm talking about that's your camera. Huh? So what do you the kid the people. that are. >> kid at? The kid over there. No. >> Oh, right there. >> [music]. >> No, yes. I'm saying any grown up like me. anybody my age talk to me. So you a kid. [music]. I'm saying anybody my age. How they can pursue their dreams. >> 32. 32, okay. >> So people that's 32 tell them how they. pursue pursue their dreams. Tell them. how to pursue You got to learn how to. talk first. [ __ ] I tell them how to.

pursue their dreams. >> Yeah. Shoot, I'll just say man. >> Look at the camera. Stop telling me what to do. I [music]. look this Don't look at me when I look. at the camera. All right, I'm going to. look straight. >> Look that way. >> [music]. >> Now if you got a dream and want to. pursue it. all you have to do is go do it. That. rhyme, didn't it? That was fire. That was fire right there. All you have. to do is go do it. If you want If you got a dream and want.

to pursue it. all you got to do is go do it. >> of that, you single. So I got somebody. for you. Uh can I bring somebody in? >> [music]. >> Huh? Single. You single [ __ ] I got. something for you. >> to put me on a blind date? What are you. doing, man? >> You ain't blind, [ __ ]. You about to see what the [ __ ] coming. your way. >> [music]. >> And you better hope she want you. >> I ain't ask for this. You didn't ask for. it. She didn't either. Who is this again? What up, though? >> [laughter]. >> Do you know this is right here?

Yeah, that's Jack Funny. Oh [ __ ] I'll. call you back. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Uh why you hating? >> Man, I'm right now I am. Yeah, that's my. man, [ __ ] Oh, that's your man, too? >> Yes. Damn, my bad. Sorry. I ain't do. nothing. Because you don't know him, right? >> me. Oh my god, let me get you right back. >> girl from Detroit? >> Yeah. Let me get you right back. I'm going to call you right back cuz. there's some [ __ ] going on. I mean [ __ ] you can't help that [ __ ]. [ __ ] with a [ __ ] Hello world. I'm.

going to bring you a message brought to. you by PrizePicks and also me cuz I'm. the one talking. It's football season. and guess what? PrizePicks is the best. place to win money while watching. football. The app is easy to use. All. you got to do is pick more or less on. your favorite players going off stats. and they also show you their last recent. games. It's easy. For new users, all you. got to do is put down $5 and you get $50. in lineups. How close you going to get? Okay, back up. This is awkward. Back up. a little bit more. A little bit more.

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Oh, you got to know who this is. He. right in your face. Where? I'm saying guess. Oh, you? Is this me? [ __ ] that's Usher. Oh, he not even. here. What are you talking about? >> he always around. You like Usher. >> I ain't never met that man. Who is this? How the hell I'm supposed to know who. that is? You can't even see that [ __ ]. good. Why you squinting your eyes like they. squint? >> Cuz he squint his eyes. Uh-oh, there we go. >> see. Took too long. All right, got you on.

your date. Don't [ __ ] this up. Oh, that's why you tried to get me lit. Hi. Hey. Yeah. See? That's what Yep. She on Okay, are. you a single woman? Um at the moment. Yes, okay. Well, this. is a man that's looking for a date. He's. desperately trying to figure out how to. get women and can you tell him how to. get a woman like you? >> fine. I'm not. >> He doesn't look desperate. No, [clears throat] I'm not desperate. He. doesn't look like he should be desperate. at all. Yeah, but it is a. >> How you know my name is She don't do She. don't do that.

>> don't? No. No, I I do elbows. Oh, yeah. There we go. Exactly. Yeah. Okay, I like. that. Right. >> Yeah. Uh Uh So if you could tell him what he. could do to get like, you know a woman. like you and just figure out his mind. Can you pick his brain for me, please? >> Oh, you don't want a woman like me. Why. not? Cuz I'm a lady not a woman. Mhm. Oh, okay. A lady is a well-behaved. woman. So you don't want a woman. Okay. >> You want a well-behaved lady. Do I like them? Yeah.

Is your heart good? Yeah. Then I [music] like them. Yeah. What? You racist? Is you racist? I'm not. Would you talk to her? Huh? Would you. talk to her? Would I talk to her? Do you have a heart. of gold? Yes. Well then, that's all that matters. Yes, I have a heart of gold. Do you? That's what matters. Uh [ __ ] you have a heart of gold? Do. you have a heart of gold? I got a heart. of. just a heart. Oh, yeah. [ __ ]. ain't gold. Uh tell her three things that you like. about her that you find beautiful about. Oh, she's beautiful. Tell her that No, be specific. What you mean? [laughter] Her eyes is.

beautiful. Okay, eyes. I can see it. >> Yeah, her hair is beautiful. Hair. And um I could just tell her soul is. beautiful. You got to say image. [music]. What you want me to say? Uh. her her eyes, her hair, her face. That's a good one. >> It's what's in here that counts, though. >> Yeah. What about him? What you find. beautiful about him? Well, he's uh. up front. >> [music]. >> Mhm. >> Huh? Oh.

Well, goodness. Well-behaved fellow. I. like the pinky. Yeah. >> He's a alcoholic, too. No, I'm not a. Stop lying to this woman. She's a liar. >> You was the alcoholic. You just got out. of rehab. Now tell her that that you just got out. of rehab. >> What's your thing say there? What, this? >> Uh-huh. Oh, Jack Funny. Oh, that's good. >> That's Yeah, that's Oh, that's That's my. stage name. >> Well, that is the way to do it. I mean, there is no other way. If you really. want to get someone that. you'd be compatible with that you would. really like forever.

all you got to do is pick that person. Mhm. and decide to be funny. You right about that. And it doesn't. hurt to have a really good heart. >> being funny and funny looking, they love. you. He know. And that's you. >> It doesn't matter because people see the. heart. >> That's you. They they actually see. through They see through you. They see. the heart. >> us two if we had to pick somebody? He. look better. Why would you. >> I'm just Okay, let's say like you had to. be with just if if one of us was to take. you on a date, you can only pick one. >> That's easy.

Please. >> you see you shouldn't ask that question. because as soon as you ask that. question, that means I have to pick him. because you're putting me on the spot. That's not. >> No, she said I got to pick you. >> No, I did not. >> You lost, brother. You have to be easy, you know, and not. not make demands, not make. not put people where they have to. choose. >> not going to be a masculine? Tell them. Tell them. You got elbows, [ __ ] He. don't listen, see? >> [laughter]. >> See, he don't pay attention. Well, as. long as he's trainable. People just got.

to understand like at the end of the day. when you wake up in the morning and you. and you wake up and you you yawn, you. like, "Damn, I'm alive." That's all that. matters. It's the best revenge. [clears throat] Yeah, it's waking up in. the morning. Yeah. >> That's it. And uh talking to God as soon. as you wake up. What's the first thing. you do you wake up? Uh I thank God for. waking me. And then what else? Then go wash my ass. And after that? No, first I look in the mirror. Okay, that's. all. And then what else? Then go wash my. ass. Brush my teeth then wash my ass. Okay. [laughter]. Yeah. What you do?

Same thing. No, you don't. I don't think you do. You don't talk to God, [ __ ] [ __ ]. I'm sorry. I had to say it. I talk to him every day. I meditate. You don't know what meditation is? Meditation is easy on your mind to go. and you talk to God, you asking for. [ __ ]. >> [snorts]. >> I don't need nothing but him to love me. and love everybody else that I love.

He sounds stupid, don't he? No, he does. not. >> Thank you. He sounds spiritual. Thank. you. That's what he is. >> is all a front. No, I ain't. Everyone is. a front. Everyone is a front and the. thing is to not be. an affront. Yep. Mhm. Many years. A couple of decades at least. >> Yeah, a couple of decades. Yeah, you a. vintage piece. So [laughter]. How was John F. Kennedy? I don't know. I was a little kid when he. died. Oh, you were? Yeah. Oh, damn.

Who's somebody you know that died that. we probably know that you got to meet? That I got to meet? >> Yeah. Michael Jackson? No, I never met Michael Jackson. Oh, I would have been amazed. Yeah. Let's see. Who do I know? Have you met Seal? Seal, but that's not Seal. Seal's very. handsome. Oh, but handsome man. Talented. handsome man. >> Yeah, that's his brother. Yeah. Have you ever met Will Smith with Down. syndrome? No, but he doesn't have Down. syndrome. My daughter was My daughter.

was crazy about him and I watched him. I. was like addicted to that show that he. was in. Have you ever met Whoopi. Goldberg from The Color Purple? No. No. >> Have you ever met. Celie from The Color Purple? Mhm. No. I. didn't see The Color Purple. No, I don't know. It's amazing that you been here for many. years and you're able to see life in. your healthy. and you understand what's going on. You. like driving still? Do I like what? Driving.

Driving? Yeah. Well, I don't know if I. like it, but you have to drive. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean. otherwise you're not independent. >> you feel about strangers? Uh-uh. How do. you feel about strangers? Like nowadays. remember they say don't talk to. strangers. No one's a stranger. We all. are the same. Thank you. That's what I'm trying to say. What you. going to How you going to get mad at. What's No, I'm saying thank you. Oh, okay. I thought you was getting mad at. her. Don't get mad at her. What you're. saying is right because everybody we. didn't already met a version of somebody. like that before. It's just coming in. different shapes. And it's just like you.

didn't met a liar before. You didn't met. a cheater before. It's just now they. look different. You didn't met uh like. a man that's light skinned that really. don't You know what I'm saying? Just. [ __ ] up. >> [laughter]. >> You mean like lawyers? Okay. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Okay, you need these nuts. But. what I'm trying to Sorry. But what I'm. trying to say is in life. >> See, that's that Diddy [ __ ] I don't. care about your nuts. No, I'm fat. You. know the saying, "These nuts," right? You heard it before. Like knock knock. Say, "Who there?" Who. there? These nuts. You heard that. before, haven't you? No, >> [laughter].

>> that's a new one. I don't quite understand it, but okay. Okay, sorry. Sorry. But that's what my. cousin do to me, so Oh my god. My. respect. Yeah, that's just like a little. jokey joke. Black community. joke. That's just like She don't see color. She see soul. That's just like That's. just like That's just like you know you. know the white. What? You know the white? The what? The white around your lips. The white around your lips? So, that's. just like a little joke. It's I don't.

know. I see that your teeth are really. white and let me see yours. They're pretty white. I think they're. pretty. But. well, yours has more um the light is. making it very light. Mine are not nearly as white. His [ __ ] like lemon. No the [ __ ] they I got my [ __ ] done, [ __ ]. Your [ __ ] lemon. No, it ain't. Let's go. back. They're pretty white. Yours are super. white. But then again. when you when you Oh, yeah, they're. white. >> Thank you. When when you talk When you talk, you.

can see your teeth. They're just very. very very clearly obvious. When you talk, it's just that your lips. cover your teeth a lot, so Cuz I'm I'm. human. I'm human. Yeah, God took time with me. >> [laughter]. >> He got him out. You see he got him out quick and hurry, hot and ready. Still I'm out there. He going to recooked your ass a little. bit. He did. You undone. You a little. seasoning. He well done. [clears throat]. Well, I am. He well done. He left you in. there a little bit too long. I get it. Just a little bit.

>> Thank God for that beard cuz that's the. only thing that's saving him. I do not think your braids are saving. you. Cuz I like them. >> [laughter]. >> I like those braids. Let me see. Do you. have any braids up there? She wants to see them. Oh, okay. [laughter] Well, Hey, give me. some uh-huh. All right, [snorts] what's That's your. time. That's my time? Yep. Well, okay. It was nice meeting you. >> It was a nice chunk chunk of time. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. I enjoyed it. Thank you. Well, I'll Well, see you later. Can I get one of the guys to walk one of.

the beautiful lady out? Yeah. Thank you. so much and bring the next contestant. Is there somebody else? Thank you. Appreciate you. I like your feet. Oh, it's another contestant. Yep. Man, what is this [ __ ] Come on, [snorts]. what's going on? How you doing? You can. sit right here. Great. How are you? How. you doing? How you doing? Great. Nice to. meet you. How you doing? Fine. That's some new [ __ ] I just. learned that. My name is Treat. Treat? Treat. Oh, okay. What they used to call you that. back in the day? No, my given name is Patrizia. Nobody.

can pronounce it, so I just said the. treat is in the middle. Oh, that's. what's up. So, he's single and he's. looking for to like Can you give him. some wise on how to get a woman like you. some game and just pick his brain about. what he could do Why you keep telling. everybody that? >> Come on, calm down. See, he's. aggressive. That's what's wrong with. him. He's like a pitbull, ready to go. Okay. Okay, he's not aggressive. Let's. start with that. Oh, he look like a. [ __ ] He's No, no, no, no. He's like. cotton candy. He's soft and fluffy. Yeah, he's soft as a [ __ ] All. right. Well, first the first thing you. got to do is you got to look me in the.

eye. Look you in the eye? Yeah, because. if you want to get a woman's attention, you've got to look her in the eye and. you've got to hold your gaze. And you. have to be a good listener. >> Okay. Well, right now look you Look you. in the eye right now. And how [music] does that feel? It's doing something to me. Uh-huh. Upstairs or down? Upstairs and down. >> Okay. Well, then now now we we got a. place to go. So, what's upstairs? I What's in the room? >> know. Let's find out what kind of an IQ.

[music] you've got. Let's find out. Are you smart? Mhm. All right. So, [music] uh. A man walks into this apartment. building. Why are you slurping? >> [sighs]. >> Oh, stop that slurping. That [ __ ]. doesn't look fly. >> like that slurping. You eat. >> what misophonia is? A A man walk upstairs. Get him. Come on. I want to hear this. So, a man walks. Is he's looking to get a new apartment. He walks into an apartment in Manhattan. Mhm. It's on the seventh floor.

Lots of windows. There's no furniture in there. Mhm. Hardwood floors. There's glass. and water on the floor. And Fred and Ethel are dead. Who killed them? This is called a brain teaser. >> her and he killed his self. And so the water would be explained how?

Huh? The. Should I speak more slowly? >> about water? Yeah, I said that there's. water and shattered glass on the floor. He poured water on the floor before he. killed her and bust out the window. before [clears throat] he killed her. Well, the windows only open this high, so okay. He lifted the window up. to get fresh air. Is that before or after he killed her? Before he killed her. Okay. You are so. far off. Really? Uh-huh. What you think? This is for him.

>> [laughter]. >> Scaredy cat. Scaredy cat. That's cuz you. looking at him. So, can you. [clears throat] tell him what happened? So, I'm a little slow. Oh, you heard that. He [laughter] was 21 years old when he. graduated. He's got good hearing when he. needs it. I know you ain't talking. All. right, come on. He was 21 years old when. he graduated. Ain't that bad. >> That's normal. Graduated from what? Kindergarten? No, I. No, I graduated from high school at 21. You were late bloomer. Thank you. My birthday. That's No. 21?

Hey, some kids don't graduate at all. I. mean he got a little off. Yeah. Okay, this is not about him. though. This is about you. You want You. want to find out how to get a strong. woman, Okay, baby. All right, baby. All. right. All right. All right, baby. Let's get it. All right. So, okay. Fred and Ethel are goldfish. The window was open. The wind blew in. The wind blew the fish bowl up. Uh-huh. That's called a brain teaser. So,

when you're dealing with a woman, all of it's a brain teaser. Mhm. You know, like when you say. "What What's up, baby?" and she says, "Everything's fine." When a woman says. everything is fine, you could not be. more. on the wrong side of the the law and and. what she's feeling. All right. If you really want to get to know a. woman, you've got to ask her questions that are. meaningful. Not, "What's your favorite. color?". "What's your favorite movie?". >> he be doing.

He be asking like, "What's your favorite. bra size? What kind of panties you got. on?" Let me ask you. Okay, let's go to. bra size. What you want me to ask Tell. her what you did last night? No, no. Hey, kids. Time Okay, do I have to smack. one or both of you? No, I'm going to. shut up. I'm going to shut up. Okay. Is that going to be hard for you? Okay, just checking. All right. Let me ask you. something. Have you ever felt real breasts or have. they all been store bought? I felt real breasts. >> Okay. So, like and chicken breasts when.

I cook. Okay. >> You know when you sauteing up that. chicken breast? Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm a chef. Throw it in the grease or put it in the. oven. Are we in the same room? Okay, what's your story? What are you. looking for? Don't Why are you looking at him? You're. supposed to look at me. What am I looking for?

Um. I don't know. You can't handle the truth. I don't know what I'm looking for. But I. feel like he can get a good woman. because he got his head on his. shoulders. He's Well, everybody's head. is on their shoulders, otherwise they'd. be decapitated. >> Yeah, you're right. Well, here's a. slightly off. Here's his turd sideways. if you can see it if you stand up too. long. It's like a banana. But, what I'm. trying to say is Oh, we're talking about. bananas now. Ooh. Do you like. >> to eat a banana. Do you do? Oh, I'm a.

good banana. >> bananas? I love bananas. >> [music]. >> Now you're talking his language. >> Mhm. You like oranges? Sure, why not? [music] What's wrong with. oranges? >> Watermelon? Watermelon? >> You drink watermelon? A woman is like a. papaya. >> You drink watermelon? >> I've been drinking watermelon. He's he's serenading me, everybody. Uh. love making. Does it stop at a certain. age? Does it stop at a certain age? Or. does it always go on? >> keep going? Yeah, I always wondered. that, too. Do it keep going? Do you keep.

going? Yeah. I don't know. I have no experience with. you. I don't even know if you can handle me. Do I keep going? It doesn't matter if you keep going as. you've got to keep going in the right. direction. Sure. They be trying to tell me to stop. Look at you drinking dainty and [ __ ]. Yeah, I keep going. Let me Let me read. your palm.

You want to I got. >> this palm. Oh, you want this one? He's ashy. I I put lotion on, but it. dried up. What you doing? Just reading your palm. Oh. Reading your. energy. I feel the energy. Yeah, you're what. >> [laughter].

>> Oh, now you're looking in my eyes, aren't you? Let me I'm I'm going to. close them cuz I'm I don't know. I don't. know. Do you want to close your eyes cuz. you just can't see and you can't Want to. see this? Or do you want to unsee this? >> It don't matter. Mhm. You're at a loss for words, aren't you?

You got some soft hands. Uh-huh. Has anybody ever done this to you. before? What, touch my hand? Like this? Mhm. Uh-huh. I could do this for an hour. and make you suffer. Make you What you mean, make me suffer?

I'm going to whisper something in your. ear. What you trying to whisper in my. ear? You want.

to die. It's just a simple yes or no question. I'm in the middle. Well, that's a good place to be. Right in the middle. I ain't got [ __ ] going. >> I ain't got no girl for me. It's a. woman. >> [clears throat].

>> They look good though. I'm happy for. you. This is what real [ __ ] do, get you in. real situations. See that? How long you going to do this. for? It's called a spider, [ __ ]. It's a spider. Can you sing to me? Can you sing me a song? Mhm. All right. Want to hear something I wrote? >> Mhm. You already bought me. and I don't like your way.

If you don't know the story. but you better turn the page. No one's going to change me. No one ever could. It would do no good. Ba ba. da da da da da. It's like It's like It's. like this. It's like a tongue with no kiss. It's like popcorn without butter.

Coffee with no cream. You like that. song? That's a nice song. >> Mhm. I write [ __ ] You do? I do. Mhm. Mhm. I don't want you to sing to me. every day then. Do you now? Sing me to sleep. What did you pick up from his palm? You get me It's not sweaty, which is a. good thing. Okay. That's. That's cuz I. >> Big bonus points.

>> [laughter]. >> Mhm. I do this. Big bonus points. I like your kicks. >> Thank y'all. I appreciate you. Appreciate you. >> uh college I want lipstick that color. >> do? I do. He went to college for those. shoes to get a check. He bought some. gear. No, that was hell no, man. What are you. talking about? >> when you bought those. >> his pants? These are pleather. Cuz I don't. Well, they're pleather. See, that's not. real leather. >> It is. This This real.

We know your legs sweating under them, [ __ ]. It ain't leather. Oh. Well, they was $300. >> Check this out. It's $300. Well, do you like his shiny. pants? Do you feel like men should be. wearing those? If he's comfortable with them. if he owns them Okay. >> I think he should I think he should wear. You been hating on me ever since I got. in here. >> That's what the [ __ ] I'm trying to do. Why? Why are you so mean to him? Oh, man. Right. What's the story here? Like.

Wait. Hang on. Let's switch places. What's the story here? All right. >> [sighs]. >> What's wrong with you two? All right. So, I'm going to tell you about him. So, basically [clears throat]. >> Give me your hand. Okay. Give me your. hand. >> Can you read his palm? Look. He's got a hot palm. He do? He got a hot. palm? Yeah. >> He been playing in his ass. That's why. it's hot. Not recently. Smell Smell his hand. I just smelled. mine. No, it ain't Ain't no Ain't no. recent at all. I don't like wiping my ass at all. I.

don't even like using toilet paper. >> That's insane. I don't like using toilet. I don't like [ __ ]. Does that mean you're full of it? No, I'm just saying I just If I could get. surgery, I I'd I'd stitch this. [ __ ] Oh, that's why your breath. stink. Cuz you [ __ ] going up. >> are like taking this off the You guys. are taking this off the rails. Okay. What is this relationship between the. two of you? I feel like Dr. [ __ ]. Phil. >> Yeah. No. Okay. Number one, it's a. brotherhood. I'm going to tell you that. It's a brotherhood. >> We cool. I'm trying to get I'm trying to. get him together and tell him.

Hey, you need to You not trying to get. me to do [ __ ]. >> one of you let the other finish a. sentence. Okay. You not trying to get me to do. [ __ ]. >> She told you to go first. Why you keep. stopping. >> I Because you keep talking when I'm. talking. Damn. I damn back. >> simple question. I feel like I'm. watching Chinese ping pong. See it. Come on. All right. >> Come on. So, what I'm trying to say is. he's somebody that's very successful and. I'm telling him he can get in a. relationship and find love. And the fact. that he's making so much income, he just. feel like I could be single. No, bro.

Get out of these streets. Oh, wait. Okay, I'm sorry. Why you worried about. me? Sorry. Okay, I know nothing about you. Okay? I'm talking about him. >> No, no. We're Don't pull that on me, [ __ ] Okay, I'm I'm the moderator now. I'm the moderator now. Just hold. Hold. [clears throat] on. All right. That's a very mature standpoint. Thank you. >> He's He's got game. He's making money. She heard that? >> [clears throat]. >> I got game. >> one, you don't have to find love. >> saying he got game? Love appears when. you are ready. When the teacher is When.

the student is ready, the teacher will. come. And here I am. Um. [ __ ] it. And. And. he is smart enough to understand that he. has these resources. that he can do whatever Can I say the. [ __ ] Yeah. He can do whatever the [ __ ]. he pleases. And instead of squandering. And instead [clears throat] of. squandering it on. useless interactions.

he he prefers to sit and wait because he. has to settle into this beingness that. he has now. >> You feel me though? >> Yep. Thank you for your time. >> this? >> Thank you. >> Yes, I'm loving it. Thank you. >> Thank you so much. Thank you for your. time. Thank you so much for your time. Yeah. Thank you. So beautiful. Yeah, thank you. That's so really nice. Give. me a hug. Thank you. Give me a hug, too. Watch out. Man, come on. You go first. That's all me. Thank y'all. I appreciate you. I. appreciate you. Well, oh, he hugging me so tight. Oh, this.

All right. It was nice meeting you. Oh, she don't want to let me go. He don't. want no [ __ ] hug. He don't [ __ ]. She don't want to let me go. Come on. Where we going with this? >> I don't know. There's something coming. between us. She don't want to let me go. [laughter]. All right. I'll see you in a minute. >> Okay. Just go and wait. I'll just wait. Just wait for me. >> I'll just wait for you. I'll just wait. for you. What, no hug? Yeah, it's all. right. Oh, yeah. Come on, dude. Come on. Oh, hell no. I don't want you no more.

Thank you so much. >> You're very welcome. >> want you no more. You chosen. You choose You can't be chosen. That's. what a woman wants to be. She doesn't. want to be picked. A woman wants to be. chosen. Never forget that. Peace out. >> chosen. What you learn from that? Cuz you should have learned something. Can't trust these women. You want to say hoes so bad. >> I did, but I just I want some respectful. [ __ ] You know what I'm saying? Respect to my elders, you know? Yeah.

You working on your. YouTube series. Are you dropping a lot? >> Yeah. What has made you be consistent. with I'm laughing at life. Make sure. y'all go watch that. It's crazy right. now. What's the story behind it? The story behind the episode? >> No, what made you get into the series? Like what like what's the meaning behind. it? >> What made me get into it? >> Yeah. You told me to do YouTube. >> I know, but now what made you like make. it a series and like and be serious with. it and be continued? Uh.

I was watching. uh Corporate. You know Corporate is. You. had him on your show. So basically he. was doing something like that in Chicago. with the series like everyday life in. Chicago. So I'm like ain't nobody doing. it in Detroit. Let me do it in Detroit. You know what I'm saying? Let me be the. first to do it. So we end up doing some. episodes and it end up being. big. So like but overall you see. yourself as a director. Is it something. that you want to help? Cuz you got many. people that pop up. Do you see yourself. being like a director and putting people.

on the game? >> Yeah. I want to do my own movies and. everything, man. What would be your. first right now you get a like I say. like a. $10 million budget. What is your first. movie going to be about? What movie you. going to film? Uh what it's going to be. about? >> Yeah, right now you [clears throat] got. to make it right now. >> That's a good question. Comedy for sure. What would be the plot? Man, I got to come up with that right. now? $10 million you get it. Phew. Um you ever seen Set It Off? Mhm.

It'll be probably like. some bank robbery bank bank robbery. stuff. Mhm. Um after that probably go to. my baby mama house get into it with her. with the kids in there Uh-huh. not. taking care of the kids Mhm. go to the. spot where we meet up the meet up spot. Mhm. after I'm done with her. Cuz I'm I'm going to be broke. This. sound like real life. I'm going to be. broke. Me and my mans going to be broke.

I probably had two other people with me. >> Mhm. You know what I'm saying? We at the. spot chilling. smoking. Even though I don't smoke, I'll. play the role. Add a movie sound to. this. You know what I'm saying? I'll. play the role. You feel me? Boom. So that didn't go good. Oh, no. I. say it did go good cuz we got about. $2,000 up out of there. So we going to. split the $2,000. How much? >> Down. Out of five four five people. And I'm going to get the most money. >> $2,000. What's that? Huh?

Four people get $2,000. >> that right now. $2,000 out of four five. people. I'm going to get the most. >> the cut? What do you walk away with? Why. you worried about that? >> I'm trying to get the movie. >> about that. I'm trying to get the movie. out of here. But how much do you walk. away with? >> I'm trying to get the movie. >> You got four people Sound it out. >> [laughter]. >> You got four people. >> Uh-huh. You got $2,000. How much do everybody get? You get the. most. Add it up. So we going to uh.

split the $2,000 between all of us. And. then boom, we going to try to rob. another bank. Well, I probably wouldn't. say another bank. I we probably try to. rob. that um. old ladies at bingo night or something. Something like that. >> The ladies do you just bet? Yeah, something crazy. Something crazy. Cuz I want to be different. You know what I'm saying? That's.

different. I want to be different. >> You want to scare the death out of them. I might. So we going to rob them for their stuff. And then we going to go to the spot. again. The same spot. We going to hear a knock at the door. Boom boom boom boom boom. Oh [ __ ] it's the police. Police here. We open the door. It's my cousin from down [music] the. street. He trying to sell me a VCR.

and a PlayStation one, the gray one. Mhm. I'm like man, you want this or. that? Man, I don't want that [ __ ] Man, I can't do nothing with that. Get the. hell up out of here. I don't know on the on the low he really. trying to peep the scene to see what I. got up in there cuz he a crackhead. Mhm. You know what I'm saying? So I. leave, he come in. I'm not looking. I'm. not I got a big ass It's a big ass trap. house. You know what I'm saying? So he come in, he end up stealing some dishes or. something while I'm not looking some.

antique stuff. And you know, a pair of. shoes or something without me looking. Boom. I mean I'm going on all day about this. Do you want me to keep going on? Cuz I'm. trying to say the whole movie. What's going to happen in the whole. movie? Mhm. And this ain't nothing been. done before. This is sweet as hell. Mhm. I mean the movie already coming out. people right now taking ideas you. speaking on it. So that ain't going to. come out. No, it'll come out. They ain't going to. do it like me. >> sign it do not just They do not just Do.

do do do do do do do. Do not the what? >> Disclosures. Huh? They doing the DMP. You ever thought about going back to. school? That's lame as [ __ ] No. I'm a grown. adult. You used to skip a lot, didn't. you? It didn't hurt me. It did. Cuz you graduated at the age of 22. And that's [ __ ] up.

That's [ __ ] up. That's bold. That's bold as hell. Think about that. [ __ ]. Grown ass man in high school. Grown ass man. Just think about that for a minute. You talking about a movie? No. I'm. talking about your life. Mhm. Graduated at 21. You should be a damn.

Well, at least you graduated. I guess that's what all that matters. It. matters. >> Everything. So this is where we tell people. >> some suede. What the [ __ ]. These ones Steve Madden. Mhm. >> [clears throat]. >> Oh, they Clark's. They is? >> Yeah. I mean I just tell people that. But um. Them ain't Clark's. >> I know, [ __ ] I just said that. Oh, okay. All right, I want you to stop what. you doing. And subscribe to the YouTube. So how. many. >> Subscribe. >> subscribers you have right now? >> Subscribe. >> How many subscribers do you have?

>> Subscribe. That's what I'm saying. >> I have. 600 and. Let me look at that [ __ ]. >> Okay, you got over 600,000. >> Hold on, wait. Let me look and see. so I can tell y'all the right number. >> [snorts]. >> Back the [ __ ] up. All right. 649,408. Okay, so let's we need to get to at. least 800,000. So we need y'all to stop what y'all. doing and subscribe to his YouTube.

>> Subscribe. See you don't know how to say. man, that's bold as hell. You can't talk. and nothing. [ __ ] I'm sitting here promoting and. you over [ __ ] me up. Is you sleepy or. something? It's the liquor. Something [clears throat] knocking on. the door. Um subscribe. Thank you guys. >> No, tell them the YouTube channel. >> Oh, my YouTube Jackfunny313. Sad more. sad cuz when you just sound too happy. you got to really go on like man, I'm. down bad y'all need to subscribe like. this [ __ ] [ __ ] up.

>> I lie? Because that's where people going. to come and support you. If you seem happy they going to be he. doing good. Tuck the chain and do that. Tuck the. chain in. Let me see the watch. You can't do a ad. with all this looking good. >> to see my watch? >> Yes, just for the ad. Just I want them. to see it. Is it going to get broke? No, it's not. Don't take my [ __ ]. >> I'm not. Why I look like a thief? All right, talk to them. Um.

Oh, you can fit. Yeah. All right, tell. them, man. Tell them about the YouTube channel, dog. >> [snorts]. >> Tell them about the YouTube. >> [clears throat]. >> Tell them about the YouTube to. subscribe. All right. You guys can. follow me at Jack. Can you what? Tell them please?

>> Yeah. Okay, can you guys please follow me at. Jackfunny313. on all platforms. >> just like like man, can y'all please, man. I'm telling y'all. I'm working. hard. I'm busting I'm dropping episodes. every Tuesday. I need to get a million. views on all of them, man, cuz this is. something that I'm doing. I'm taking my. time. Not only I'm Jackfunny, man. I'm. out here. I'm looking bad. Beard patchy. Like tell them more about you. Got it.

So you want me to say okay. Guys. Add sad music. Sad music. Okay, thank. you, Trey. He's the editor. Guys, [music]. can you please follow my YouTube channel. Jackfunny313. It's not going very well. So. How many episodes [music] get it out? How many episodes do you usually post?

How many episodes do you usually post a. week? Get it out. >> [music]. >> I post like once every 3 months. No, no, we going to get but you going to speed. it up and do more. >> [music]. >> Yeah. I really need it. Need this job. real bad. Right. Cuz that's how you. going to feed your kids. Feed my kids. Yeah. Mhm. I'm going to feed my kids. [music]. and. you know. You going to have to buy a new. watch. >> [music].

>> What you mean? I'm saying just everybody like new [ __ ]. I'm glad. What you mean I'm going to buy. another watch? I'm saying. >> My watch right here. You can't say that, [ __ ]. They [snorts] don't know that. This [ __ ] fit me. I don't know why it. does. Hey Johnny, go get my strap. Get. my strap? >> All right, guys. Go get my strap. Thank. you. Thank you, guys, for tuning in. Thank you, guys, for tuning in. You got. me [ __ ] up. >> sure you like, comment, and subscribe. Everybody give a round of applause y'all.

for having Jack. Give me my [ __ ] right. [applause] now. Hey, I'm telling Hey And that's what. back to you, Paul. Johnny, go get my. strap. Hey. Cut the cameras. >> GO GET MY STRAP RIGHT NOW.