The Year Since Oct. 7

[Music]. from The New York Times I'm Sabrina. tavernes and this is the. daily one year ago Israel suffered the. worst terrorist attack in its. history the conflict that followed has. become bigger and deadlier by the day. killing tens of thousands of people and. expand ending from Gaza to Yemen Lebanon.

and now. Iran but as big as October 7th still. Looms in the world its most powerful. Legacy is on the ground with the people. who lived through it and are still. enduring its. aftermath today we return to two men in. Israel and Gaza to hear how their lives. have changed.

it's Monday October 7th. [Music].

hello hi goolan this is Sabrina tavernes. from the daily from The New York Times. Daily podcast last October I spoke to a. survivor of the October 7th attacks my. name is Golan. abitbol my age is 44 I live in kibuts. Berry and I was born in the kibuts. golan's kibuts in southern Israel was. one of the hardest hit places in the. country we woke up to the sound of.

launching. missiles he described the attack by. Hamas that day as unfolding like a. nightmare you could see murder in the. eyes he saw men going house to house. they took babies they killed his friends. they took kids his neighbors they took. elderly people people he'd known all his. life the best friend of my son the most. adorable gentle kid and just ripped him. away from the hands of his mother it was.

more than 7 hours before help. arrived by the end the community had. been. devastated 101 of its roughly 1200. residents had been. killed 10 hostages remain in Gaza but. only three are thought to be alive. people from Gaza they were our friend. and we donated money to them many of the. people who lived in the community. believed in peace with the Palestinians. the mother of a friend of mine she used.

to go once a week to one of the border. crossing with Gaza STP and pick up with. her car children and take them to get. dialysis in Israeli hospitals some of. them had even made it their life's. work we are liberal person we don't. believe that all of the people in Gaza. are evil we don't believe we didn't. believe I'm. sorry we didn't believe I don't know.

what I'm thinking. [Music]. now but Golan said that for him what. happened on October 7th threw all of. that into. [Music]. question Golan. hi Hi how are you I'm very good I'm glad. to see you.

sorry for the quality of the selfie. camera no worries last week I called. colan is he and his family were living. in the coastal city of. hia they had moved there from a hotel on. the Dead Sea where they'd been living. after the. attack we've been to the. hotel for five. months they were. great the people did their best to.

to help us cope but uh it's hard it's. hard to live in a hotel we we had three. rooms for all of us and you you go out. and there is all the. grief and. basically one of the girls didn't took. it very well and me and my wife thought. that it's not a good solution for us and.

our family and we went to Kaa was that. your daughter what was she experiencing. it was very hard to take to make her go. to the to the schools they made in the. Dead. Sea she took the bed like a half a meter. away from the wall and put some pillows. and put on her headphones and just. stayed there and so she kind of shut.

down yeah and we decided we need to. leave when you moved into the apartment. in. hia what did that feel like did that. feel like going back to normal in some. way it's it's a mixed feeling because I. I consider my home in kibuts Berry from. my one side we are back in Civilization. but it's not my civilization because I.

used to be in in a kibo kibuts. it's it's a hole you know it's a. you can you can't get anything you can't. get anything delivered over there you. know I'm just I'm not used to this. scenery of cars and people I don't know. and in the beginning it was a kind of. felt like kind of a. betrayal how explain that because it's.

the community it's to go outside and. walk Barefoot and pick lemons from the. neighbor tree and know everyone else and. go and sit and drink coffee with the. other neighbors and wherever you go you. you know everyone and changing this it. took me time. but but I I know it was the good. solution it was good for the kids to. live the hotel and come here do you feel.

like you found some peace now after all. these months after that roller coaster. have you settled a bit. emotionally. no no it's. all it's all mixed. together it's all mixed together it's. it's so it's I I guess. I'm better than the last time we talked. but well I'm not okay I'm not.

okay I have a lot of. sadness and a lot of anger that wasn't. there before not I'm not a sad. person not a angry person not vengeful. person I. wasn't not. a warmonger person I. wasn't it's a different situation I'm. not we are not the same none of us is. the same man I.

can't put my hands exactly on it Golan. when I talked to you after October 7th. speaking of anger you didn't mention you. were angry you I remember that in your. voice and you just felt like the sense. of disbelief that it had happened and. and anger you know you. said there were kind of some closeness. is between the kibuts and Gins there. were Gins who worked at the caboots. there were people who helped gozin get.

to cancer treatments there were. donations but that October. 7th had changed things do you still feel. angry how how are you feeling on that. front I think my thought of the. Palestinian people Chang and not for the. best I I'm not saying I was a left wing. ER but I had all for a solution peaceful. solution solution which I don't have now.

and I have a lot of disappointment of my. government that still didn't find the. way to bring my friend back and they are. dying over. there I'm really disappointed that this. is the same Army that didn't so what is. going on behind the fence just 4. kilometers outside of my house.

I'm I can't believe it's the same Army. and the. same. intelligence. operations it's hard they had an. obligation for us and they neglected us. and now they need to return our friends. and family back and for the last year. they didn't do it they didn't do it do. you think the government is making. Mistake by not making that the.

priority yeah yeah this is the priority. we we don't have time they're dying. there we need to make it a priority we. need to make it first priority and. but I can't change it yeah. yeah Goan you said that your view on. Palestinians had changed that you've. lost hope for a peaceful solution.

yeah I don't believe there is any way. that us and the Palestinians are going. to be in some kind of a. mutual agreement that that have some. kind of a. coexistence I believe that in the end I. don't think there are any good people to. do peace anymore. with I don't I don't like War I don't. like to see the Palestinians the way.

they are but I haed I really hate that. they made me change my mind on. them I hate them for showing me that the. worst of them the worst things that can. do they can be. and I will never for forgive them I will. never forgive them for what they did I. will never forgive them for the. slaughter and the ways they they.

murdered my friends I will never forgive. them but isn't the answer that it's not. a monolith in Gaza either right that. there are different people there there. are those people who did October 7th and. then there are also other people and. it's just pretty. complicated I don't think anymore that. way I believe that we should alienate.

ourselves from the Palestinians I think. we should not be near them I think we. can't trust them I think the solution is. just to build the big wall and they are. here and we are there I don't think we. can ever trust them to. annihilate the urge to kill us I think. it's always was there somewhere in the. back of their head maybe there are. people are not thinking like that but.

the majority of them they can say they. are peaceful but I believe that. somewhere in the back of their. fundamentalist. head they want to kill. us Goan it feels it feels. very hopeless to me and it feels. different because as you said you didn't. have this view. before October 7th in the in the past I.

thought we can do it we can do it in a. peaceful solution but we we can't do it. we can't and and we tried to do it in. Gaza we tried just to take everything. and go out and you saw what happened we. took everything and went out and they. slaughtered us and if we do it if we go. outside and leave. them they don't have the. maturity and. enough uh Humanity inside of them to.

just let us. live and and let us stay here I guess. I'm curious how you think about this. I've had a conversation with a man in. Gaza who had sent his kids and his wife. to Egypt because he felt like it was. very dangerous in Gaza he very. much disagreed with what happened on.

October 7th but has kind of been caught. up with everything that's happened since. namely the invasion of Gaza and the war. there do you see that there or. acknowledge that there could be people. there in Gaza who weren't party to what. happened and who were. suffering though they did. nothing I'm sure there are people who. didn't. I'm sure I know there there are a lot of.

innocent persons and I don't like to see. them die but I really really want my. friends back and I really really want. the Hamas regime to be gone after what. they did to us and if you keep terrorist. organization if you let terrist. organization build a tunnel under your. house. you are part of.

it you are part of it this is the the. regime they have and we have to. annihilate them after what they did to. us they and they said they're going to. do it again but what about those people. you said who were not part of it I don't. wish for Palestinians kids and and. innocent people to die I really don't. but I don't think there can be any.

peaceful solution to Asen Zen I. think that you you can't do such an. horrific Massacre and it's not affecting. all of the community over there you they. are part of. it this this is the price of. War but there are innocent people that. suffer as a result of course. but it's a war and we need to finish it.

and we need to finish the Kamas and. Kamas is still there we are all inside. Gaza now we are all inside this fight we. whe whether it's our ER friends that are. fighting there or whether it's my. friends who are being hostaged there all. you have to do is bring the hostages. back and stop trying to kill. us and this is what really bother me. about all the International Community.

they can give really a lot of critic on. Israel because we are not being Humane. and not. being give pressure on the Hamas to. bring the hostages back be give pressure. onal stop shooting at us the last years. they have been shooting at us okay if. you if the International Community would. have stopped kbal from shooting we. didn't had to inv inade I don't want to.

invade Lebanon I don't want it in in the. other side also I don't want the. Lebanese and the Palestinians and the. htis in. Yemen I I don't want them to die but. it's time for. war we can't sit on our hands. while they are slaughtering us we can't. sit her on our hand while after a year. of nonstop. bombing from the north we can't we can't.

we have to go to. war Goan what do you want people to. understand about you and about Israel a. year later we don't want this. war we were dragged into this war by. force by brute force and. Terror and we don't want to keep on. doing it we don't want to keep on.

killing our. neighbors and it's that. simple just stop stop trying to kill us. and maybe in a few decades we can have. some kind of reasonable peace after we. forgot after the pain will be a little. more numb.

Golan thank you for talking to. me yeah thank. [Music]. you when we come back the story of. Hussein a Palestinian man living in Gaza. [Music].

I first spoke to Hussein in. February. Hussein hello hi my goodness it's very. difficult to get. through yes thank God there is kind of. connection right now the day the War. Began he was waiting for a furniture. delivery to fill his newly renovated. home in Gaza City was very beautiful. actually. we had a big balcony and we we were.

thinking that this big balcony would be. a place to sit in drinking coffee and. tea and leaving fresh hair that home was. destroyed in the war's early weeks and. in the months after that he moved four. times each time further south in the. Gaza Strip a lot of clouds here imagine. there is more than a million people are. here in this small City. eventually Hussein ended up in Rafa the.

Southernmost city on the border with. Egypt what does it look like it's dark. and a lot of crowds of people just. walking trying to find food water just. walking around us with no Direction with. no destination for them at the time. nearly half of gaza's population had. taken shelter there and Hussein was. trying to decide whether he should send. his wife and three children to Safety in.

Egypt I just remember the silly. questions we used to play in our. childhood who will you choose to save we. never imagine that we can be in a real. situation where we got to. choose it was hard unfortunate living. without them he said might be too. painful for him but staying in Gaza was. too dangerous for them now I'm thinking.

about evacuating my kids to save them. from the hill we are living. in a few days later Hussein paid to get. them out but he stayed behind to work. off the dead he incurred to send them. away and to care for his elderly parents. [Music].

Hussein Hussein can you hear. me yeah I hear you yes Hussein hi I'm. glad to hear you me too you sound you. sound clear yes thank God actually I got. a good connection right. now Hussein where are you right now. where am I catching you right now I'm in.

in the middle area of. Gaz it's I guess the fifth or six. displacement or location I am in through. the last. year when I reached Hussein last week he. was living in central Gaza with his. parents and siblings I'm living in a. house I got the financial ability to pay. but even though that I am in a house I. got got to fish water I get to do this.

because there is no water reaching the. houses yeah uh and imagine I pay monthly. for this. apartment. 3,500 CHS which is almost. $1,000 wow and for me I am less than 1%. of the community who are almost a year. without work they don't work they don't. have income so imagine I have a good. income and I'm facing this problem to.

secure my basic. needs I can't get clothes shoes of food. anything I've been wearing the same. clothes for a year right. now the same shoe I'm wearing for a. whole year which is falling apart and T. out but there is no no choice even. though got the financial capability to.

buy a new pair but there is nothing in. the market it became so strange if you. see someone who looks well or who are. dressed. well all the people are looking. miserable you can see the pain the. misery the struggle on their. faces uh the loss it's obvious the loss. and due to the lack of cloes most of the. people are wearing the same thing as if.

they are in a uniform but in in a dirty. uniform the same misery over their faces. all of us are kind of losted you know. what of us are lost. here and Hussein what's an average day. for you what what's your life like from. day to day try to avoid thinking to keep. myself busy. each day I wake up early.

morning I check on the water and try to. get a couple of. buckets to just wash my face and to. brush my feet Etc which is literally sea. water when I wash my face actually it. bends wow it's sea water yeah then I try. to go to my work we got electricity and.

internet on the walk and when I go back. to. home I try to keep myself as much as. busy I try to walk on this street for. hour or two hours cuz staying alone is. very hard for me far from my kids and my. wife but most of the day I try to keep. myself busy walking yeah not to thing to.

walk you said that you try not to think. what do you try to avoid thinking about. where do you not want your mind to. go about not seeing my kids. again yeah Hussein tell me. about how you talk to your kids how.

often do you talk to them how do you. keep in touch with. them uh over whats yeah when I got. internet I talk to them sometimes we. have video calls Etc voice calls and I'm. trying to follow up their life and to be. with them and they share videos with me. uh what have they done and the places. they are going to the about their beams. what they do yeah and thank God.

alhamdulillah that they got food right. now they got proper cloes right now and. inshallah they are safe there yeah and. this release me at least that they are. safe are they back in school uh yeah. online just because they don't have. residency papers and they can't enroll. on. schools yeah so just online their.

teacher is in Gaza or in Egypt on that. online school uh on West Bank on the. West Bank wow so they're in Egypt and. they're taking online school with a. teacher in the West Bank yeah wow that's. quite an arrangement so complicated life. very very what about your wife how is. she doing alhamdulillah she's doing well. yeah and I know there is a lot of thing.

over her shoulders and and it's very. hard on here but alhamdulillah she still. can can do it and have the strength to. care yeah and actually I never imagined. that I can survive this but it seems. that we are surviving I've seen people. out theread I've seen people are P up I. see rockets falling in front of me I saw.

my house which I've been working for all. my life to build being destroyed and to. be bombed I've seen a lot of things but. I'm still surviving I guess the humans. got huge power we don't know about. it Hussein are you surprised that the. war is still. going I'm surprised that the there is. humans doing these wars why they do.

it how could human became this Evil. killing others. imposing Collective punishment on over. two million people with no reason what. are they going to again why why they are. doing. this how could human do this to other. humans what it's. actually yeah I'm I'm still shocked how. people can do.

this yeah and why to do Wars from the. beginning why to occupy other people. land why why to do all of these things I. wanted to ask you. Hussein you know on the question of why. the war is still going there have been. many efforts to try to get a ceasefire. and a hostage deal but until now they. failed. what do you think of that what do you.

think is. happening I think that I'm a hostage. actually I'm a hostage um for me. alongside with around two million people. we are. hostages what's the difference between. us or any hostage do we have our freedom. do we live normal. life do we get to do our. decisions no we are for for in this. situation via guns and weapons yeah and.

I wish that someone would try to do a. deal to release us not me. only the whole nation of palestinia of. of hostages in their land and outside. their. lands Hussein you said you want them to. do a deal but but they have been trying. to do a deal it hasn't. worked do you feel that one particular.

party is at fault here are you mad at. Hamas I'm mad at Humanity at all at the. all of the humanity not on Hamas Israeli. whoever on humans who accept this. situation it's not a matter of Hamas. Palestine Israel whatever it's matter of. humanity we are talking about more than. 50,000 people were killed around 20,000.

kids what's their fault to be killed. what have they done told me I I I really. believe in human life and. Justice and equality between all the. humans but do the world. do because we are not only seeing we are. facing double standards that we are. imposed to to all the world is watching.

us sieged killed. humilated and no one is doing. anything are you worried that as this. conflict gets bigger that Gins will be. forgotten will be less on people's minds. out in the. world actually what I'm worried about is. this will alter the mentality of people. even though the people who are believing.

in peace and resolution between the. Nations when you lose your kid when you. lose your brother when you lose your. house and you know that this party that. that this side have killed them has. displaced. you put Collective punishment on. you and they are the reason of the dire. situation you are living.

in I guess people would seek. revenge won't believe in peace again. you're worried this experience will make. people not want peace yeah I'm I'm. wondering how this world can be. unfair and how am I going to believe. again in human rights in equality in. Justice. when I see that it doesn't apply on.

us I'm still believing on this but I'm. afraid that this this picture would. collapse due to What's Happening Here in. Gaz it will encourage other parties and. other nations and other. countries to offend to humilate kill. other people when they see that some. countries are doing this and it's fine.

we can do it it's okay. to kill anyone. to put Collective punishment on not one. or two on two million people it's okay. to keep it for more than 10 years it's. fine so it would encourage people to be. uncivilized it would encourage. Barbarian violence to the whole.

War Hussein remind us how old your. children are my children nine seven and. two nine seven and two the littlest one. is now two yes and when they travel. before he didn't use he didn't start. talking yet but right now he's talking. he's talking. yeah so hard that your son is growing.

far from you especially these times and. this AG yeah yeah yep do you feel like. it was the right decision to send them. to. Egypt. yes for. sure are they happy in Egypt they are. they are half happy with the chocolate. with the coke with the chips with the.

toys and with the cloths I remember the. first two weeks they were kind of insane. that they find chocolate and potato. chips and Coke to drink and Etc they. were so super super heavy and they just. kept telling me that we got this we eat. this they were happy to. eat they were happy to find food. yeah do you think you will see them.

again in yeah we will reunite inah see. each other again but each night when I. talk to my kids they are crying and. saying you shall come to. heal when are they going to open the. borders when not you going to come and I. don't have answers actually. [Music].

Hussein thank you very much for talking. to me thank you Sabrina I'm sorry for. talking a lot no it's okay thank you. foring it's okay I really I really. appreciate you sharing you sharing your. thoughts and your life with me okay okay. thank you bye-bye okay bye-bye Hussein. bye. [Music].

[Music]. we'll be right. back here's what else you should know. today in Gaza on Sunday the Israeli. military carried out air strikes and. issued evacuation orders for nearly all.

of Northern Gaza ahead of what it called. a new phase in the war there it also. ordered residents in southern Lebanon to. evacuate over the weekend while Israeli. air strikes hit daha a neighborhood. south of Beirut where Hezbollah holds. Sway and where heavy bombardment has. already forced many to flee in Israel. efforts to Mark the anniversary of the. deadly attack by Hamas are constrained.

by security concerns and the ongoing. conflict Israel has yet to hold a. national day of morning for the people. killed or taken hostage a year ago. today today's episode was produced by. Diana win Michael Simon Johnson and. relle Banja it was edited by Mark George. with help from Patricia willins research. help by Susan Lee and and yonatan Ray. contains original music by Marian Lozano.

Alicia beup and Rowan Nimo and was. engineered by Alysa Moxley our theme. music is by Jim brunberg and Ben Lanser. of. wonderly special thanks to yon Ray and. Patrick. [Music]. Kinsley that's it for the daily I'm. Sabrina Tavern see you tomorrow.

[Music].