Marriage and Sex in the Age of Ozempic: An Update

Hey, it's Rachel. This week, we're. revisiting some of our favorite shows. from the year, listening back, and. hearing what's happened in the time. since then. Today, we return to the story of one. married couple's experience with GLP-1. drugs and how the use of weight loss. medications like Ompic can impact how. people see themselves and their closest. relationships. It's Friday, December 26th. Lisa, I don't think it's an. understatement to say that we in 2025.

are in the middle of this what feels. like kind of a weight loss revolution in. the United States. And of course, we're. talking about these drugs that. everybody's probably heard of. Ompici. Monaro. I think most people know somebody who's. been transformed by them. Maybe a lot of. people themselves have actually had some. experience with them. >> Yeah. It's a revolution in how we look. It's a revolution in our health. It's. got gigantic potential to help people. who have not been able to be helped.

before. The data show that one in eight. Americans. >> has tried one of these drugs. Like I. have a friend who takes the medicine and. he says, you know, if you are able to. eat just five French fries. >> and you used to not be able to eat just. five French fries, it gives you. grounding in the idea that you can. control. things in your life that you didn't.

think you could control. >> So what else can you control? >> [music]. >> Can you control. the way you relate [music] to your. children, the way you talk to your boss? And what really interested [music] me. was this question of how the GLP1 drugs. affected a marriage, especially when one. partner is on the drugs and [music] the.

other partner isn't. How did you go about trying to find the. right people to talk to to to satisfy. that question? Right. Well, we at the. times have a thing called a call out. where you ask the public a question. >> and then we get responses to that. question and the question was this. Has. a GLP-1 drug like Ompic and subsequent. weight loss changed your relationship? Um, and I was getting all of these. responses and one jumped out at me. He.

wrote, "I believe it has changed a few. things. Less alcohol consumption, smaller meal portions, improved health. outcomes, but I believe GLP1 has. affected my wife's libido, no interest. in sex, >> perhaps due in part to image issues, also increased mood swings on her part.". And I thought, there's a lot between the. lines here. And so I called them up and. they agreed to participate in the story.

as long as I used their middle names. >> Javier. >> Javier. So he is Javier and she is Jean. >> J E A N E. >> They live in New England in sort of a. nice suburb. >> We celebrated our anniversary a few days. ago. >> They had been married for 15 years. And. I think maybe it's helpful to talk first. about what their relationship was like. before the drugs. And it goes back to. high school. >> Junior year is when I met her. So that.

takes us to 1987. >> They both grew up in Sacramento. >> What did you notice about her? Like what. what made you like her? >> Her personality. Very outgoing, great. smile. >> Well, I I thought he was cute. Um, >> but she was like in a bigger body and. excruciatingly self-conscious about. that. >> So, always felt awful, never felt. attractive. >> And he had a crush on her. >> You know, there have been times in my.

life where, you know, someone was. actually flirting with me or trying to. you come on to me and I I just don't. register the signs because I feel so. uncomfortable in my own body. So even though she had a crush on him. too, she wouldn't believe [music] it. They were unrequited high school. sweethearts. and they each [music] married other. people. >> What happened was that um my first.

marriage was coming to an end. >> My first marriage had just ended. >> and then. >> our 20-year reunion was coming up that. fall. >> and I told her that it'd be great to. connect and have a cup of coffee. They. told me about their first date. >> The cup of coffee ended up being a. dinner and some beers and then. >> and they both told me about the first. time that they had sex. The way he talked about it was just as.

this unbelievably. magical. >> uninhibited. interaction. She didn't say, "Don't look. at me." Or, "I'm ashamed at this," or, "The other," or, "My boobs are too big,". or, "My butt's too big.". >> There was never any talk of that. So, >> I I kind of thought that she was happy. in her body. >> Mhm. And other women that you [music]. had been with like that. >> And I'm running the story by the both of. them. [music] And she was like, I don't. exactly remember it that way.

Now, we know that they eventually get. together, right? They get married. >> Yeah. They move to the east coast where. she gets big jobs in corporations. She's. the earner. You get the sense that they. fit each other's romantic fantasies. and they're extremely sexually attracted. to each other. It's a big part of their. identity as a couple. They have a child.

They settle into a life where they both. love food. They love wine and they get a. big wine fridge in their dining room. >> Living the dream. >> Totally. They're doers, you know. They. like to embibe in life. But throughout. this, you know, Jean struggled with her. weight. >> I was obese um from a BMI perspective. >> after she had her baby. She was heavy. She hated it. She had postpartum.

depression. She. could not lose the weight. >> Mhm. >> And she would say she's gained and lost. 70 lbs multiple times in her life and it. just felt like an endless. struggle to her. Did she tell you why. she was having so much trouble keeping. the weight off? She talked about food. noise. >> Yeah, food noise to me feels like a. constant need to eat. I don't feel.

hungry. I don't feel full, so I don't. have those physiological triggers to. know when to eat. >> And the feeling of self-loathing that. she describes of not being able to. control that, like it's a failure of. will. >> and then being embarrassed about the. food that I was eating. So sneaking food. when I was home by myself, having a pint.

of ice cream because I could and I could. hide it just. >> eventually this bleeds to health issues. >> Um I do have um other chronic conditions. that it developed over time. I had. non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. >> and she says to her doctor, "How about. one of these GLP1 drugs?". >> And he wrote the script. And can you. just remind us, Lisa, how do these drugs. actually work? >> Well, it they work by reducing your.

feeling of being hungry. And because of. that, people lose a ton of weight really. fast. And people who have been dieting. their whole lives and struggling with. their weight are able to keep their. weight off as long as they're on the. drugs. And, you know, she starts losing. a lot of weight really fast. You know, 10 lbs, 20 pounds. I mean, she lost 60. pounds inside of eight months. And then, you know, she notices that like people. start treating her differently.

>> Well, and even at work, >> you know, she's a successful. professional. She's always been a. successful professional. >> But I feel like the marketing team is. putting me out there more. Now suddenly. at work she's getting these outward. facing opportunities where she's being. put forward as a talking head to talk to. the media for example. >> in a way that she hadn't been before. >> But I feel like there's this different.

perception of me. I'm the same person. I'm just 60 [music] lbs lighter. Now, this is a thing that others have said. too about these drugs that doors open. and a lot of the people I talked to for. this story talk about the opportunities. that get presented to them, promotions. and dates. And if you're married, it. presents a whole world of things that. you have to suddenly start figuring out.

that you didn't anticipate at all. [music]. And that was definitely true for Jean. and Javier. [music]. We'll be right back. Lisa, I'm so curious how these huge. changes that Gene is going through, both.

physically and emotionally are affecting. her relationship with Javier. I mean, one of the first things that happened. was that she totally lost her appetite. for alcohol. >> And for Jean, the loss of appetite just. changed. her whole approach to having fun with. her husband. I mean, no longer could. they sit on the couch and unccork a. bottle of wine at the end of the day or. go to the local brew pub and try out the.

new beer. None of it felt good to her. anymore. >> We go over to a friend's house and we'll. have a game night or something like. that. I mean, we'll still go. I just. won't drink. >> And. that's fine. >> Yeah. In fact, >> she had an introverted side that hadn't. been able to express herself because she. was so busy being a pleaser extrovert. cuz she was in a bigger body and she. wanted people to like her. >> I am not as much of a night owl as my. husband is. And I like to read my Kindle.

a little bit before I go to sleep at. night. And. >> once she was in a smaller body, she. could assert herself and say like, "Actually, I like being at home." But. she's also telling Javier she doesn't. want to do the things that he thought. that she loved and that they loved. together. >> They love together, right? How does he. respond to all this? How does he. >> He does not like it. >> No, no. I like going with the flow. I. mean, living in the moment and enjoying, you know, whatever's going on the in. social aspects or social events. Yeah. I.

>> He was like, "No, this is not how we. are. We are the people who do these. things.". >> I think he misses his drinking buddy, the person who is going to stay out. late. It sounds like the lifestyle stuff. led to a lot of tension, >> more than tension. I mean, I think they. had a really, really, really hard time. And when I met them, they were fighting. a lot. >> Um, before it was a conversation and you. know, and now it's a fight and one of us. is going to walk away angry um because.

we're not seeing eye to eye on something. >> and their fights could be loud and ugly. So I started really um wondering who I. was with. Bottom line is it became very. confusing to me as far as as far as how. to manage our relationship. I would even. comment to her and say, you know, I need. I don't recognize you. I need a road. map. I need I need a road. >> One of the biggest things that changed. is that they completely stopped having. sex. >> I used to love.

feeling her body, her big body next to. me in bed. the softness uh of her body, you know, the extra tummy and the extra. booty, you know, next to. >> They both talk about the loss of her. butt. >> Are there things you miss about your. previous body? >> My butt. >> They both loved her butt. >> So, I I miss that.

that voluuptuousness. Uh being able to lean up next to her and. feel her. for lack of a better word, draping over. me. That's no longer an option. Now it's. it's cuddling and it's cuddling as tight. and closely as we can or as I can. And. that's that's the extent of the. intimacy. I I'm at a loss for why there's no. physical intimacy. >> or hasn't been any. this like physical.

connection [music] that they had has. completely. changed [music] into something else. And. neither one of them knows exactly. how to. find it again. >> And [music] this new body. I haven't really been able to touch or. or explore or anything like that. >> It's not as accessible to you. >> It's not. No.

Why haven't they had sex? Like, was that. just another appetite that the drugs. reduced? I mean, that's what Javier's. theory was. Is maybe. >> Jean has different theories of the case. She's gone through menopause. She's been on anti-depressants for a. really long time. And both of those. things are known to suppress sex drive.

But I think there's actually something. bigger at work here. >> I haven't said this to him. I just didn't say no before. Mhm. So, >> she started to be able to draw. boundaries between doing things for. other people because they want them and. being able to articulate what she wants. >> I'm setting the boundaries. I don't want. to have sex, but before I would, >> but he very much wants to be her loving. partner. >> Mhm. It sounds like the drugs kind of.

unearthed something. They unearthed some. kind of dynamic in their sex life that. Gene had only been maybe vaguely aware. of, but certainly had not been in a. position to act on before she felt. differently about herself. Yes, I think. that's true. I think they were both. completely blindsided [music] by that. >> I felt that we were always on the same. page and going on, you know, we're on. the same [music]. >> We weren't two ships in the night. crossing paths. we were one.

>> one ship. >> So you're empowered in a way to take up. space to say what you want. and that forces you to have to. figure out what you want. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Beyond just like I want to leave the. party at 10:00, you know, that's in a. way that's easy. Like do I want to have. a sexual relationship with my husband? Do I want to leave my corporate job? Do.

I wanna like like these are much bigger. questions? >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, and kind of sad that. at 53 that I'm starting to have those. thoughts. Aren't those the kinds of. things that [music]. most people think about when they've. graduated from school? Right. I just I'm. the good girl and I do what what's. expected. >> Mhm. In a certain body. And now you have. a different. >> in a certain body. >> Yeah.

>> I still feel very strongly that this is. the one of the best things that I've. done for myself. This is it. [music] you know, I I have. lost the weight and I will maintain this. for life and. I'm just so grateful.

[music]. [music]. >> [music]. >> After the [music] break, Lisa calls Gan. and Javier back to see how they've. handled the changes in their. relationship since the episode. originally aired.

>> Hi guys. Hey, how's it going? >> Can you hear me? >> We can hear you. >> So, we met approximately a year ago. >> Yeah. >> Tell me what's changed between you since. then. >> I'm not a virgin anymore. [laughter]. >> What do you mean by that? Are you having. sex? [laughter].

>> Yeah. >> Not often, but yes. >> Yeah. We've Let's just It's no longer a. dry spell. Let's just say that. That's. amazing. Jean, what prompted you? What. was the change in you? >> I'd had a mommy makeover. Um, I had a. tummy tuck. I had a breast reduction and. lift. I had the arms done. So, removing. loose skin. So, I was just feeling. affectionate and appreciative. >> Yeah. Out of the blue a few weeks ago,

Jean said, "Hey, I just want to thank. you for being so supportive through my. my adventure with my body image issues. and and fears." And I'm thinking, "Wow, okay. Well, you're welcome." Like, you. know, I love you, baby. You know, and. that's that was the end of it. >> So, break it down for me. Like, where. were you? What happened? What made you. in the mood? [laughter]. >> Okay. No, I mean in the morning and at.

home, >> Jean said, "Hey, you know, we've said to. the effect that we we have some time and. I'm I'm feeling I'm feeling amorous. Uh, do you want to. >> Yeah, I'm I think I'm I think she said. like I'm I'm open to it." And I'm like, "Okay, no clothes are coming off.". [laughter]. >> I don't even think you said that. They. were just gone. >> Boom. got out of bed, locked the door, clothes came off, and and it was, you. know, it was wonderful. >> Amazing. Amazing. I feel that I've been.

on this long journey with you guys. >> It has. It's been a It's been a It's. been a journey. [music]. >> Um, all right. Well, I'm so happy to see. you. We'll keep in touch. Thank you so. much. >> All right. Take care. Bye. Bye. Bye, Lisa. >> [music].

>> Today's episode was produced by Nina. Feldman [music] with help from Anna. Foley. It was edited by Ben Calhoun, Jodie Becker, [music] and Lindseay. Garrison with help from Patricia Willins. and Lexi Dio. contains music by Marian Lozano, Dan. Powell, [music] Pat McCusker, Diane. Wong, and Leah Shaw Dearron, and was. engineered by Chris Wood and Rowan. [music] Nisto.

[music]. That's it for the Daily. I'm Rachel. Abrams. See you [music] on Monday.