Listener Tales 113: 90's Sleepover Edition

Hey weirdos. I'm Ash. And I'm Elena. And. this is Morbid in the9s at a sleepover. [music]. [music]. It is period. I decided to go with me in. the 90s who was like a 12, 13year-old. I. like that. like who can't do their.

makeup. You keep saying that, but I. really goes for like the like high. contrast [ __ ] going on. That's what I. went with. >> It's very of the time. >> I was going for a Pam Anderson eye and a. Y2K hair. >> That's And honestly, you nailed it. You. look really pretty. >> Thank you. >> You look like you would be a cool girl. >> You look pretty like as 12. >> Yeah. Like I look like I'm like. >> You could be on the cover of like Tiger. Beat. >> Hell yeah. >> Yeah. >> Or I could be holding a Tiger Beat and. pretending I was on the cover. That's. >> No, you could be on the cover for sure, you know. Yeah, >> I also did a zigzag part. You did? Which.

is really iconic. >> It took me six tries, I think. >> It always took me a lot of tries. So, I. don't think I ever mastered it. >> The secret, I think, is that you do it. tinier than you think. >> Yeah, that's true. >> Yeah. And you really have to keep track. of where that hair goes and then you. pinch and you separate. >> That's That's that. >> And that's zigzag parts in case you're. wondering. >> Yeah. You know, so these are listener. tales and they're 90s themed and they're. brought to you by you, for you, from you. and all about you. I wish it was the '9s. again. I wish I say it all the time. I.

wish I got to experience more of the. '9s. It was I know it wasn't like a. better time overall. Like I know that uh. like the nuance of it all. >> Yeah. I mean, no no time is that. >> the time before the internet I think. personally was better. Yeah, I think so. too. But now you have like 11year-olds. doing get readys with me to go to fifth. grade. Have you guys seen that [ __ ]. It's so disturbing. It's honestly. upsetting to me. Like, stop letting your. children be on TikTok and like. >> doing get readies with me while they're. cracking open an Alani, which is going.

to make their heart explode at like 7. a.m. before. milligrams of caffeine in Alani. I. question I am the I'm a 30-year-old. woman, which I still can't get past. >> What did he say? >> I am a 30-year-old married woman. >> He said, "Don't forget you're married.". >> He said, "Bet you got [laughter] a Drew, but I I question drinking an Alani." I'm. like, >> you know, >> do I do this today? You've never drank. an Alani because I'm too scared my heart. will explode. >> Here's the thing. Don't because you'll. take that risk. >> Yeah, I won't. I'm not going to do it.

>> And of course, like they're not going to. like your heart's not going to explode. >> Yeah, we're not saying Alanis are going. to make your heart explode. I drink. them. >> But like. >> I'm just scared of energy drinks in. general. Drinks freak me out. I'm scared. I'm going to get like heart pelt. You. >> ever had an energy drink? I've had I've. literally taken like a sip of a Red V. Red. >> Oh my god. >> But I don't really like the taste of. energy drinks. And if I don't like the. taste of something, it's why I don't. really drink either. >> If I don't like the taste of something, >> yeah, >> what the [ __ ] is the point? >> My entire thing is like I want to enjoy.

what I'm ingesting. >> That's why I like a mocktail to be. honest. >> That's the thing. I love fresh. >> because they taste like juice. >> Juice. >> And they don't make me feel yucky. And. they don't have that weird like alcoholy. taste. >> Yeah. >> You know, that's why I used to like. Schnops cuz I liked the taste of. Schnops. >> Yeah. See that? I'm a Shirley Temple. gal. >> Yeah. >> I don't drink anymore. Did you say. share? >> Chair. >> Share. >> Okay. >> Pull up a chair. >> Share. And I was like, I'll share my. Shirley Temple with you, Nicholas. >> I'd love a Shirley Temple. I also love. what a hot commodity it is when either.

of us orders a Shirley Temple at an. event. People are like, a Shirley. [laughter] Temple. Does it have gin in. it? We're like, nobody knows what to do. And I'm like, guys, it's yummy. That's a. fun drink. Like, if you haven't had a. Shirley Temple, wo, go get one. And. also, if you haven't had one in a while, You got one. It's nice. >> And you don't have to put gin in it. >> and you won't feel like [ __ ]. >> That's true. >> It's nice. >> It's just a Shirley to enjoy a pretty. little drink that tastes yummy that. doesn't make you feel shitty.

>> I don't even know if we acknowledged. this and like fooy on us if we didn't. We might have. >> Fooy. >> Fooy. Uh, Canada Dry sent us a bunch of. their exclusive flavors. This is not a a. paid ad at all. You talking about Tril. Temples. They sent us like the cherry. fruit splash and then there was a. strawberry flavored one. The strawberry. flavored one tastes like a Shirley. Temple. They just sent us those and they were. really good. >> Yeah. I didn't even know that they had. flavors. >> So, thanks Canada Dry. Yeah. So, you. could get a Shirley Temple or you could. get one of those. >> Yeah, go for it. Yeah. Um, do you.

>> did he say you're funny? Then you. [laughter] are funny. >> Oh my god, Nicholas. I think that I I'm. going to take that because I feel like. he said it to me and I feel like he. never says [laughter] nice things to me. >> I have that one. You can take it. >> Okay. >> Thank you, Nicholas. >> I'm so I'm elated. I love that. >> I'm over the moon. >> Thank you. >> What if he literally said, "Not. >> not not you. Not you, [ __ ] [laughter]. >> You are not the one.". >> Also, on the book tour, we met so many.

people that were so pro- Nicholas. >> I'm starting to believe that the people. who are not our [laughter] boss. Yeah, >> you're boss. >> I think you're fake if you don't like. Nicholas. I think the the the Nicholas. lovers outweigh the Nicholas haters. >> Wasn't there a Nicholas a shirt that. said like justice for Nicholas or. something like that? >> No, it was it was a justice for someone. from the book. >> Oh, okay. We won't spoil it cuz I did. spoil it as a New York event. Sorry if. you were there. [laughter]. >> I'm still I'm embarrassed to this day. You know when you wake up at 3:00 a.m.

thinking about things? I'm like, >> sorry I [laughter] spoiled that. >> That was hilarious. Rough. Oh. All. right. I feel like you always read the. first one. >> I'll read the first one. >> Do it, girl. Let's go. All right. Let me. let me make sure I'm speaking into the. mic here. >> Speak into it. >> This one's called A Dreamy Discovery. Listener Tale. >> Oo. >> You are more than permitted to use my. name and all names in this story as I'm. just a real ass [ __ ] and keep. >> It's okay. I'll help you, Nicholas. Uh, I'm just a real ass [ __ ] and keep.

things authentic. I already love you. I. started listening to you gorgeous ladies. a few months ago and I've literally not. turned back. There's something You. should turn back and look behind you. Make sure nothing's there. >> That's my dad joke. >> Uh there's something about the both of. you that is so damn comforting to me. I. don't know if it's your love for all. things spooky. The dark humor. I love. it. Your authenticity, love for fbombs, or just the fact that y'all are boss ass. [ __ ] but you guys are my literal.

soul sisters. I love you. We just became. best friends. >> We did. And I love you so much. I love. you so much. What did he say? >> Pathetic. >> He always said that. He says that when. we get too excited about something. >> He does. >> Nicholas might be Jenz. [laughter]. >> He's like cringe. He's like, "That's. cringey. Shut up.". >> Okay, >> I'm just kidding. Nicholas, um, let's. see. >> What if he turns on you? >> He will never. Uh, I love [laughter] the. confidence. He will never. >> He will never. I know that about. Nicholas. She said, "I cured this.

[ __ ] way.". >> Uh, I drive a solid hour and a half to. and from work as a direct support. professional for an adult with autism. Oh, >> and this podcast, >> what did he say? >> Yes, I can. Um, I drive a solid hour and. a half to and from work as a direct. support professional for an adult with. autism, >> and this podcast keeps me [ __ ] going. I also turned my ever stoic, muscular, muscular, stone cold tattooed hubby on. to you guys and now we listen together.

I love that. >> That's precious. And now he's gonna hear. that you said that and it's going to. give him a little boost. >> It's true. He's going to love that. >> They love a compliment. So, let's begin, shall we? We shall. I want to tell you. some about the time not too long ago, actually, where my dreams were helping. me to find a longlost childhood treasure. of mine from my now deceased mother. Stay with me here. And honestly, there's. so much more to all of this that I might. circle back one day to write more tales, but this one just gives me the gooseies. I like that. >> I love gooseies. And please write more.

other tales. >> Yeah. All of them. >> Um, I am the youngest sibling of three. and the only girl. I was also born into. a very Italian family from a very. Italian mother whose name is Gina. >> Gina. >> However, I have super fair skin, blue. eyes, and blonde hair. Naturally, my. older brothers, four years between the. middle brother and I and six years. between the oldest brother and I, used. to rag on me that I was adopted and. seemingly found enjoyment out of. watching the life the life exit my. eyeballs as I looked at my parents, specifically my mom, who I look just.

like and contemplated life. >> How do I look [laughter] if I'm adopted? >> I would have many conversations with my. mom asking her if I was actually. adopted. And she would always laugh and. provide provide me with reassurance that. I came from her veg. My words, not hers. Sorry, mom. She proceeded to tell me. that she was going to keep she was going. to keep having babies until she had. quote her girl. >> Lo and behold, I was born on a Friday, May 10th, 1991. '90s gal for life. Whoop. whoop. And my mom got.

>> hidden. >> Hidden. All right. And my mom got to. bring me home on Mother's Day. Oh, that's sick. >> Oh, that's like gorgeous. >> That's awesome. >> That's beautiful. >> She told me that I was the best Mother's. Day gift she could have ever received. I. could cry typing that. Needless to say, as the baby and the only girl in my. immediate family, my mom and I had such. a special relationship. That woman was. my entire being and soul, and I like to. think that I was hers. You're going to. make me cry. >> I was going to I'm going to lose it. I. was definitely spoiled, but come on. I. was her only daughter. [laughter].

Sometimes it's not a bad thing, you. know. Oh. >> During this time, my mom opened her own. preschool called the Lane Day School. I. was a year old when she started, but. apparently was always in the mix. My. great-grandmother aka me mom. Real name. Mildred. And my grandmother aka Noni. Or. is it Nani? Yeah, it's Nani. That's. Italian. Real name Joy. I love that. Lived in a very neat and definitely very. haunted home in which my mom little by. little began turning into said. preschool. Eventually, my Mi mom and.

Nanie relocated to a new home very. willingly. And my mom converted their. old house into a fully licensed. preschool. I attended the lane day. school during my preschool years and was. a [ __ ] terror. # seeparation anxiety. from my mom. >> What did he say? >> I don't like it. [laughter]. >> He said I don't like that you were a. terror in preschool. >> # seeparation anxiety from my mom. Been. there. >> I've had it. My kids have [laughter] it. Spoiler. She was always in the same.

[ __ ] building, but I would cry my. little eyes out on a daily basis for. her. Anyway, the lane day school became. such a significant part of me and my. brother's lives due to how much time we. spent there. As we became elementary. age, we would carpool with a family. friend who would pick us up from our. local Catholic school and take us to our. mom's school where we would do our. homework, raid the pantry for snacks, and help my mom with little odds and. ends of closing the place up. That's. adorable. I know. I love that. I loved. being there. Despite the eerie feeling I. would get when walking up the stairs.

from the dark, creepy basement to the. main floor, >> I always felt like someone was behind. me. Not necessarily anything bad, but. scary enough that I would haul [ __ ]. ass up those steps so fast that nine. times out of 10, my legs would give out. and I would trip and fall only to spring. right the [ __ ] back up my on my two feet. and continue hauling ass until I was in. the clear. I don't know. There was. something slash someone/ others in that. place, but from the other side. I swear. as I got older, I learned from my mom. and my nanny that they used to wear they.

used to hear what sounded like women. talking and clinking glasses from the. basement. >> I'm obsessed with. >> I love that. >> Uh, no [ __ ] thank you. I mean, >> you're not obsessed with that? I mean, they sound lovely. Perhaps having a. little ghostly tea party, but I'll take. a rain check, ladies. >> I would totally haunt my basement. somewhere and just have a tea party down. there. >> Just clinking glasses. [ __ ] yeah. Shirley Temps. >> Yes. >> Yeah. Shirley Te's. >> because of the significance of uh the. school building had on my whole family. due mostly to my mom building a damn. empire from the ground up.

>> We not only spent a lot of time there to. help my mom, but we would also have our. birthday parties there. It was perfect, spacious, kid-friendly. Son's the tea. party ghosts in the basement, a. playground, and a lot of land to just be. kids and have fun. On my fourth. birthday, we were there celebrating and. my mom, dad, brothers, and party guests. led me to the garage for my birthday. surprise. I remember walking in and. seeing the most gorge 90 batterypowered. Barbie Lamborghini with a big bow on it.

>> Iconic. I'm so jealous. >> Iconic. >> For any '90s ladies or gents listening, if you know, you know. The Barbie Lambo. was the actual tits. I wanted one of. those so bad and I never got one. >> I'm surprised. >> I didn't get one. >> I always wanted the Barbie Jeep. That. was big when I was little. >> I also wanted that but that Lambo. >> I never got any of the Barbie cars. >> You want to hear about it? It had a. [ __ ] car phone that you could pick up. and [ __ ] chat with Barbie on.

>> And had the most '9s color scheme going. on. See attached photos. Oh, I'm so. excited. I [ __ ] loved that car. And I. loved it even more because it was from. my mom. Oh, I can remember riding the. Barbie Lambo here and there at my. childhood home, but the last I ever. recalled seeing it was at my mom's. school. He said, "Back off my Barbie Lambo.". Fast forward a bit, my parents. eventually sold the Lane Day School and. a big piece of our childhood, but it was. time and we were all okay with it. I was. about 16 years old, so my mind was on.

teenage life and making questionable. decisions. Happens. My mom ended up. selling the building to someone we knew, so it wasn't too far gone. In October. 2017, I gave birth to my first child, my. son Jay. My little guy had a tough start. with a heart condition and an 86day stay. at our local children's hospital. >> Oh my god. >> Damn. But he pulled through and we were. finally able to bring him home for the. very first time on January 10th, 2018.

>> Oh. During those 86 days, my mom only. missed one day to come and sit with me. and my son while we battled with heart. medications. several cardio versions, a. brain bleed, and premature lung disease. amongst many other health ailments that. my little dude plowed through like a. champ. He is. That woman pulled me. through more than I can even put into. words. All while beginning to quote, "Deal with the signs of pancreatic. cancer, unbeknownst to all of us.". Without giving all the [ __ ].

devastating details, my mom passed away. on January 15th, 2021. Not from cancer, but from [ __ ] co. >> Oh my god, >> that pisses me off. >> I'm so sorry. >> I'm so mad for you. >> It was a lifealtering moment for me, my. son, my husband, and my unborn child, whom I was 7 months pregnant with, and. was a girl. The girl that was to be my. mom's very first granddaughter. >> Oh, that just gave me chills. God damn. On March 11th, 2021, almost exactly two months after losing.

my mom, my second child, my daughter. Ella, I love that name. >> That's such a pretty name, was born, little did I know this little girl was. going to heal me in ways I didn't know I. could heal. Specifically speaking to. losing my mom. Handing down little bits. of your childhood to your children is. healing in and of itself. I did it with. my son and could do it even easier with. my daughter since we were both females. Soon enough, I began thinking back to my. Barbie Lamborghini and its whereabouts, and the dream started. >> I began incessantly asking my brothers.

and my dad where we thought that car. was, which no one had answers to. My dad. told me it was stored at my brother's. house. That brother told me he last saw. it at my mom's school. The other brother. told me he had no idea. We weren't. getting far. In the meantime, I enrolled. little Ellen into daycare. Where would. she be going, you ask? To the new owner. of my mom's old school. >> Oh, that's so special. That's awesome. I. was not able to send Jay there because. he left his 86th day stay at the. hospital when he was a baby with um. moderate to severe bilateral sensorial.

hearing loss. Wow. >> Oh my god. >> And was enrolled in the early learning. program at our local school for the deaf. when he was 18 months old. If you ever. want to be mind blown, come watch my. six-year-old fluently bilingual and. spoken English and ASL. But that's a. story for a different day. That's so. badass. >> That's incredible. I took ASL in college. and it was it's hard. I I ended up like. not being able to continue. >> How incredible is that? >> To a six-year-old being completely. fluid. >> Fluid in both. >> The kid is [ __ ] unreal and amazing.

And I swear he's a little earth angel. Like I said, maybe next tale because my. boy sees some [ __ ]. >> Send it. >> Anyh who, my daughter attended what was. now called Learning Lane where the new. owner was smitten with the idea of life. coming full circle and my daughter now. attending the same school I attended as. a little girl. Sadly enough though, two. years later, the new owner decided to. sell the building and learning Lane was. no more. But the dreams, I'm a little. afraid, Nicholas, >> cuz the dreams. >> cuz she said the dreams. >> The dreams.

>> I would say they started around the time. I enrolled my daughter at the school, which is eerie when you think about it. Sometimes the dreams would just be me. walking around the building, but exactly. as I was when I was a little girl. other. dreams. I would be in that same creepy. basement, but every single special. childhood item of mine would be down. there, and I would be rumaging through. said items looking for something. But. exactly what I was looking for in the. dreams was unknown. Soon enough, the. dreams were happening almost nightly. Specifically, when the new owner. announced to all of us parents about her.

selling the school and closing down, I. got the sense that my dreams that uh I. got the sense from my dreams that they. were trying to tell me something and. each time I woke, I wanted to go back. The dream soon enough started talking, taking me to the two sheds on the. property of the school. The same two. sheds built by my dad when my parents. started the business back in 1991. There. were times I would walk into one of the. sheds and it would be empty. Then other. times I'd walk to the other shed, but it. would be locked and I couldn't get in. In this same time frame of those dreams.

becoming more and more persistent, the. school building itself uh landed itself. a for sale sign on the front lawn and a. new buyer purchased the building. >> About a week or so later, one of my. friends who knew of my connection to the. school building texted me a Facebook. post. It's important to note I was not. on Facebook at this time. So if it was. if it wasn't for my friend, I would have. never known anything. The post was the. new building owner secretary. >> What did he say? >> Ira.

>> Iron. >> The post was the new building's owner's. secretary holding essentially a garage. sale for all the items left behind from. the previous school's owner. It was. noted in the post that the owner. essentially shut the doors and left. behind most everything. The post. proceeded to give an announcement that. the that that upcoming Friday and. Saturday between the hours of 12:00 and. 4:00, people were allowed to come walk. through the building and buy what was. left before they gutted the entire. building to turn it. >> turn it into the new owner's living.

space and realer office. What did he. say? >> On no account. >> On no account. I figured, hey, why not? That'll be fun. I called my grandmother, remember the very first tenant along. with my great-grandmother, asked if she. wanted to join me. And that Friday. afternoon, I picked up my na nana and we. made our way to the school. When I first. walked in, everything seemed to be the. same as when I last when I last saw it. from bringing Ella to school when she. attended. The building smelled like. pencils, crayons, and bleach with a. little hint of an of an apple smell. >> Very specific, I know. Eventually, I got.

to talking to the woman who organized. the whole garage sale and told her of. our family's history with the building. Her mind was blown, and she pretty much. said, "Go look wherever you want in. here." So, I did. Something was pulling. me in to go. >> He keeps saying that. >> I know. He said that twice now. Something was pulling me to go into the. basement. So, I told my grandmother. where I was going and I made my way down. the very steps I used to haul my ass up. to get away from the tea party old lady. ghosts who were probably actually very.

nice. Lo and behold, the [ __ ] lights. for the basement didn't work. Oh no. So, I whipped out my phone and used the. flashlight and began walking through the. cold, dark, but very full basement. When. I say I felt like I entered a time. machine and went back 29 years, I [ __ ]. you not. I felt like I was back in time. As I type, as I'm typing this, my entire. body is full of goosebumps and my hair. is standing straight up. It's weird, though. The fear I used to feel from the. basement as a child was gone, and I was. on a mission to look through every piece. of my childhood history that I could.

find. Soon enough, I came across an old. classroom and mounds of old papers with. my mom's handwriting on them. >> Oh, that's so special. old classroom. newsletters, class crafts and projects, staff newsletters, all folders in. folders labeled with my mom's writing. >> Wow, >> I love that. Even old photos of previous. students. It was wild. I felt like I. stepped back in time and I could not. stop looking through all these items, trying to find anything I could relating. back to my mom. I don't know how long I. was in that basement, but soon enough I.

emerged in somewhat of a days. I found. my nanie with a handful of items she was. ready to bring with her. And we were. about to say our goodbyes so that the. garage sale lady uh to the nice garage. sale lady when something quite literally. screamed at me to ask about the two. sheds. So I did. I first asked about the. larger shed to which the woman said. there was not much in there, mainly old. chairs and law lawn equipment. Defeated, I said, "Ah, damn. Okay." To which she. said, "Is there something specific. you're looking for?" The words, "I used.

to have a Barbie lamb," were all I could. get out of my mouth before the woman. smiled, grabbed a set of keys, and said, "I think I have something to show you.". >> When I say I [ __ ] myself, I actually I. didn't actually, but I wanted to. So, I. [laughter] followed the woman down the. drive to the old dilapitated blue shed. As soon as she turned the key to unlock. and open it, she warned me she might be. totally wrong in thinking she knew what. I was about looking for. But as she. opened those two squeaky, splintering. doors, my heart fell out of my [ __ ]. There, leaning vertically in the left.

corner of that shed was my [ __ ]. Barbie Lamborghini from 29 years ago. >> How cool is that? I began sobbing, then. trying to explain why I felt so strongly. about this piece of plastic sitting in. this shed covered with nests, spiders, and dirt. >> My naughi was sobbing when I was finally. able to tell the woman. [laughter]. >> Did he say, "I don't understand.". >> You can't understand. That's weird because she's basically. saying you can't understand like the. significance of you don't even know. >> He's like you can't even understand and.

this was her dream. That first shed had. basically nothing in it and the second. shed was like chocolate locked. >> Um it was such a moment I could relive. it a million times. I asked the woman. what she wanted for it and through tears. she said I don't want money. Take it. >> That day it hit me why I had has so had. so many dreams of the school building. Something someone was trying to lead me. to this very place to find the one thing. that was tormenting me that I thought. had been lost all those years. I took. the car home that day.

>> He said, "She's not here.". >> Damn. I took the car home that day and. began cleaning it up for my little Ella. That Christmas, the Barbie Lambo sat in. our living room with a big bow on it for. her as if it had been presented to me 29. years before for my fourth birthday. What a [ __ ] moment. As a mommy. That's next level. >> Shook by this. I like. >> What are you doing here? >> We're just doing our job, man. >> This is morid. >> Welcome. [laughter] I like to think my. mom knew how much I was trying to hold.

on to as much. >> Always. Always. >> He's like, you're always doing tales. It's always morbid. >> I'm always here for listener tales. [laughter]. >> I know. We don't bring you up for. anything else. >> I know. I would love to. Maybe we will. [laughter]. Uh, I like to think my mom knew how. >> energy. >> Energy. >> Damn. >> All right. Are we giving you a lot of. energy or we taking it? >> He was doing the like Beyonce like and. nudging. [laughter]. >> I like to think my mom knew how much I. was trying to hold on to as much as I.

possibly could of her and was using my. dreams to direct me. Or perhaps it was. the lovely old tea party ghost ladies. trying to help a sister out. Maybe both. Whatever it was, I've not dreamt of the. school building since that very day when. I finally found found that Barbie Lambo. Now it sits nice and snug in my garage. and both of my kids like to tear it up. and down the street while I quite. literally fill it with warm fill with. warmth watching them enjoy something I. did as a child and creating memories for. them just as my mom did for me. You're. going to kill me. Please enjoy the.

attached photos of my sweet family, my. mama, and an oldie but goodie of me in. the Barbie Lambo the very night I got it. with a current photo of my daughter in. it just last winter. Oh, thank you both. for always keeping it weird, but not so. weird that your old ghostly lady self. resides in the basement of a preschool. and has tea parties with other ghostly. old ladies who then help this very same. girl they used to scare the [ __ ] out of. out of find her long- lost childhood. Barbie Lamborghini Power Wheels car to. help her cope with the grief of losing. her mom, who in fact ends up being the.

very woman who used to run the school. building and hear those ghost tea. parties. Me too. Shoo. I love you both, you spooky [ __ ] with the most love. Lori. >> Oh, Lori. That was the sweetest. Oh my. god. >> Barbie Lambo. >> Look at that thing is tricked out. What. a badass car. >> Look at your '90s outfit. [screaming]. Oh. Oh my god. And you like souped it up. for her. You're Oh my god. >> Also, you and your daughter could be. twins in those photos. That's crazy. >> Oh, and there it is like stacked against. the shed.

>> That's crazy. I love this. >> Oh, look at your face. >> Oh my god, you're all adorable. Oh my. gosh. Stop it. >> Oh, mama. >> Oh my gosh. Such a heartwarming story. >> You know what, too? I I know that. feeling of like being able to share. something that you loved when you were. little with your kids because I had. these um like uh what are they? Big. wheels. >> Oh, yeah. >> And we I got to give one of my dad. bought. >> one more for one of my other kids and.

then they both will big wheel it still. big wheel it down the driveway. Y. >> and it's hilarious to see them big. wheeling it in 2026. >> Cuz it has the little thing you pull. that like makes you spin. >> I love that. >> So you would big wheel like crazy and. then you pull that and you go. >> just like skirt. >> Yeah, skirt. That's the original skirt. >> Skirt. [laughter]. >> They have loved those things. >> Sorry, I don't want this to go unheard. on the table. >> He said, "Uh, but on the table, [laughter].

>> Nicholas, nobody's butt is on the table.". Hello. Buttocks on the table. [laughter]. >> Buttocks on the table. >> Is are Is your buttocks on the table? My feet are on the table. Buttocks [laughter] on the table. That'd. be a good band name. We are buttocks on. the table. >> I just love how proper that is. >> Buttocks. >> Buttocks [laughter] on.

>> I wish I wish he said upon buttocks upon. the table. >> Nicholas, I love you. Our next tale is I. met a murderer. >> Hey. >> And we changed a couple names just in. case. So it starts with I am not a. longtime listener but found you in. January of 2022. Which like now you kind. of are a longtime listener. >> Was it going to be 2027? Yeah. [ __ ]. >> I know. >> Well, that's when I realized I needed. something to entertain myself at work. I. love spooky things. True crime, criminal.

minds, mind hunter, etc. >> RP Mind Hunter. >> Bring it back. So, I decided I needed. more of this in my life while typing. away on a computer and attempting to. drown out all the crazy things going on. in the office. Lucky for me, I stumbled. on you lovely ladies, and I was hooked. right away due to the way that you. explain your cases. Linear is the best. And your light-hearted banter and dark. humor. The more content I listen to, the. more. Did you say died? >> No, you said guide. >> Died. I don't know. >> The more content I listened to, the more. I loved it. The first few episodes I.

listened to was the four-part series on. Albert Fish. >> Holy [ __ ] You really dove head first in. >> Yeah, that was a choice. >> Yeah. >> Well, in addition to having my mind. blown by that series, I found myself. laughing out loud and wanting to join in. on your conversations since you could. use Gilmore Girls as a reference point. Quote, Hocus Pocus, Buffy, Proud. Rewatcher as well. inspired me to begin. watching True Blood. Everybody should. watch True Blood. >> And Boy Meets World, just to name a few. Also, >> Thunderusa. [laughter].

>> Also, you are the only other humans I. have ever heard reference Top That from. Team Witch. >> Oh god. Yes. >> And I couldn't believe my ears the first. time I heard the reference. >> Top that. >> Top that. >> I'm hot. >> You're not. >> I get those Tik Toks all the time. >> [snorts]. >> After my fifth or sixth listener tale. episode, I was thinking to myself, why. hasn't anything weird or spooky happened. to me that I could send in? There was. that time my friend and I played with. the Ouija board during a sleepover and. we chatted with a ghost girl who was. friendly, but also thought it would be. fun to turn on her CD player and.

rearrange her beanie babies. >> Oh, but that's not exciting. That's I. don't know. Sounds [laughter] kind of. exciting to me. >> Very exciting. >> Well, then there was the episode about I. Met a Murderer and it hit me. My summer. encounter with Luke. Luke, you say. >> to give my story stripping everybody. I. have a t-shirt under this. I'm just hot. >> Thank you for telling us. >> Yeah, I just wanted to let everybody. know that I wasn't being weird in that. was so abrupt. What What are you. addressing now? >> I [laughter] am not not I'm not about. that. >> To give my story a little context, let. me explain that I was born in a sleepy.

mountain town in North Carolina where I. lived happily until I was 10 years old. and my mom and stepdad dragged us six. hours north to Nowhere'sville, southeast. Ohio to his hometown and his family. H. that stinks. Since I was desperately. homesick for my uncle, who has since. transitioned, I'm only explaining that. as it is contextually necessary for. understanding how it could be that my. uncle had a female roommate from the. military. Every summer after that move. to Ohio, I made a habit of going to my. granny's house every summer vacation. My.

uncle had been in the military when. discharged uh and when discharged. brought home with them a roommate and a. good friend. Let's call her Lynn. >> Lynn. >> I instantly liked Lynn and thought she. was super fun. She was a. Korean-American, adopted, and had a. sense of humor, a love of horror movies, and was really good at braiding hair. Lynn sounds awesome. >> He said, "Why is she here?" Damn. >> I'm like, "Lynn is here because she's. super good at braiding hair and she's. fun and you can watch horror movies with. her.". >> Horror movies. Lynn lived with us for a. while before I was dragged to BF Ohio, but eventually moved out. When I say us,

it was me, my mom, my stepdad, my uncle, and my granny all at Granny's house. >> An odd Brady bunch, if you will. >> Yeah. The summer when I was 14, I was. visiting granny like usual. While she. was at work along with my uncle, I lived. the teenage dream. I watched TV. I ate. too much, slept too much, sunbathed, and. spent time helping her on the house. Lynn, as she had eventually gotten her. own place, would often come by on her. days off and take me out to lunch, shopping, or to the movies. This was, of. course, back in the late '9s when it. didn't cost a week's paycheck to do all.

of those things in one day. >> I was going to say, you could easily do. this. >> Yeah, it's [ __ ] crazy how much things. cost right now. One fateful morning, Lynn arrived to pick me up unannounced. No text, no call, just a knock at the. door and hey kid, get ready. Let's do. something. Ah, the '9s. >> It was the '9s. >> Uh, and I was super excited to get out. of the house. >> Did you just say stop? >> Shop. >> Shop. >> Oh, yeah. You want to shop, Nicholas? >> That's what they're doing. >> Yeah. We hopped in our pickup truck and. set out on the interstate, headed for.

the nearest mall, which was about a. 30-minute drive. While walking through. the food court, I would literally kill. somebody for the teriyak chicken at the. food court. [sighs and gasps]. >> The bourbon street chicken. >> Yes, that's what I'm talking about. >> That's what I make. That's the bourbon. chicken that I make. >> I won't kill all of you for it. I. promise. >> You say not all of us. >> Yeah. >> I No, I took that as Nicholas being. like, "Not all of us want that.". [laughter]. Like like Nicholas feels like the type. to be like, "Not all of us." But my. buttocks may be on this on the table, but. >> But has he enjoyed food court food? I.

don't think he knows this. So, I think. he's like I took the girls to the mall. the other day and I was so tempted to be. like, "Do you want to eat this food. court food?" But then I was like, "Can I. feed her kids food court [laughter]. food? Are they ready yet?". >> I don't know. >> I haven't yet. >> I had a feeling you had [laughter] I. already gave one soda accidentally. I. don't need to I don't need to get. crazier. And she [snorts] never lets me. forget it. >> She's like, "Remember that time when you. gave me soda?" I'm like, "I gave you a. sip and then your mom looked at me like. she was going to ring my neck.". [laughter]. All right. So, he didn't take them [clears throat].

to the food court. [laughter]. >> No. Uh, so walking through the food. court, Lynn recognized someone and. stopped to say hi. He had long hair, a. flannel shirt on top of a t-shirt, cargo. pants, and sneakers. Grungy looking, but. cool. Kurt Cobain. I have a story kind. of way. >> Yeah. However, her acquaintance, Luke, didn't recall her name and couldn't. place her at all. His buddies even said, "Look at her ink, man. That always. helps." She showed him her tattoos and. he still didn't seem to recognize her. So, he said, "Okay, have a great day. Enjoy your Orange Julius. We're on our. way. Orange Julius. >> I would also fight somebody for Orange.

Julius. >> Yep. >> About 5 minutes later, her friend Luke. caught up with us. Now, let me explain. how she knew Luke. I absolutely loved. Lynn. And while she was an awesome. person and one of my favorite adults. when I was young, she had a lot a lot of. struggles uh mentally and emotionally. Several months prior to heading to. Granny's for the summer, Lynn had been. in a relationship with a man who she. thought was her forever person. Unfortunately, they broke up. She took. it really hard. So much so that she was. actually admitted into a hospital for. intensive therapy. That's awful. Sad, >> but I'm glad she got past it.

>> Yeah. >> And like healed. Now, this is where she. knew Luke from. She had seen him at. group therapy and thought he was there. for substance abuse at the absolute. worst, which I'm assuming is why she. thought it was safe to say hi to him. while in charge of me, a 14-year-old. >> Yeah, you're getting a bad feeling. >> Yeah. He's like, I don't know about this. Luke guy. >> Well, Luke walked around the mall with. us while we did the usual '9s mall. things. >> We told him we were headed to another. mall across town, 15 minutes by Highway. >> Two malls, one day. I don't even know if. I've done that, dog. >> Uh, if he wanted to come and get.

something to eat with us, he could. He. said, "Sure." So, we headed to her car. >> Oh my god. >> Uh-oh. >> Back in the tiny pickup truck, I had to. ride in the middle. Quite cozy with both. Lyn and Luke. The trip was uneventful. for the most part. Thank God. >> He said hopefully hopefully uneventful. >> Hopefully uneventful. [laughter]. >> I thought Luke was fairly quiet, but we. had the windows down on the highway, making it super loud in the cab of the. truck, which made it hard to talk. Anyway, uh, as I knew the windows would. be down for the highway trip, I made. sure I had a hairbrush. I placed it on. the dashboard of the truck and it almost.

slid off and right out the window, but. Luke caught my brush for me and saved me. from the ultimate embarrassment of windb. blown hair at the next location. >> Wow, Luke. I thought to myself, well, he. must be nice. Murderers do not catch. hairbrushes. >> That's a motto to live by. It's valid. Murderers don't catch hairbrushes. >> No, never. >> Yeah. After some more shopping and. getting a quick lunch, Luke asked if we. could take him back to the first mall to. meet up with his ride. We dropped him. >> Can I interrupt you really quick? I just. thought of the the is it the Wayside. School like Vampires Don't Wear Polka. Dots. >> Oh my god.

>> That's a That's the unreleased book, Murders Don't Catch Hair Brushes. >> That's actually so [laughter] funny that. you brought that up. That's the first. book that I read when I moved into Mom. and Papa's house. >> I had that book. >> I I was literally 15. I didn't have any. of my own books and I looked through. your old bookshelf and everything was. either too scary or like I don't even. know and I said [laughter]. I guess we'll read this little like kids. book. >> I used to love I think it's the wayside. school I'm pretty sure. >> Is it that or is it the box car. children? >> No, the box car children is like a whole.

series. That's actually [laughter]. hilarious that. you had all of those. >> I did. I had all those. What did he say? >> Dangerous. >> Dangerous. You said dangerous box. children was like a whole series about. like literal children who lived in a box. car of a train. >> Oh, I only said that because I just. remembered that you had it. >> I thought it was the box car children. >> What is it? >> I think it's school. >> Well, there's. >> examine. >> Examine. >> He said examine this. >> Like sideways stories from wayside. >> Yeah. Sideways story from Wayside. School. It's like vampires don't wear.

polka dots. >> Yeah. >> I don't think No, no, no. I don't think. that's. >> Is that that not it? I don't think it. is. Let me see what it is. >> Wayide. from something else cuz I I can. see the cover in my head [clears throat]. right now. >> Let me see what it is. >> The Bailey school kids. >> There you go. >> That's what it was. >> I knew it was. >> He just said idiotic. I think he might. be turning on you, >> Nicholas. We listen and we don't judge. Okay. I. don't know what you're reading, but. >> we're in a fight.

>> I thought you said this would never. happen. >> No, it I did. I said he'd never turn on. me. I didn't say we'd never get in a. fight. That's part of any relationship. [laughter]. >> Yes, it is. >> Um, >> yeah, the Adventures of the Bailey. School. That's why I confused it. Like. Wayside. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's very similar. >> Yeah. There was the Bailey School uh. like series had the coolest [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> I'm trying to remember some dragons. don't cook pizza. Frankenstein doesn't. pet plant patunias.

>> Ghosts don't eat potato chips. Murderers. don't catch airbrushes. >> Yeah, it could fit right in. >> I think it's the unreleased one. Maybe. release it. Release it. Well, we dropped. him off. We headed back to Granny's. house where Lynn dropped me off. I. thanked her, enjoyed my purchases from. the candy store and didn't think much of. the day. >> Uh-oh. >> Until I'm very worried. >> I'm nervous. A few days later, I was. chilling at Granny's house, per usual. She had just gotten home from work and. was reading the paper while I watched TV. in the living room. Not sure why, but. something made me look in her direction. And just as she was adjusting her.

newspaper, the front page came into. perfect view. At first, it was just. recognition. Then my whole body seemed. to start tingling. That's called a womb. >> Yep. Warm. Then something washed over. me. It felt like when you open the deep. freeze and blast yourself in the summer, but with nausea. >> My [clears throat] cheeks started to. feel really hot as I read the headline. by the photo that I recognized. Two men. arrested. Mother and child killed on. Parkway. >> I studied the photo as long as I could. without being obvious. And finally, I.

said, "Granny, can I have that paper. when you're finished?" She peered over. the newspaper at me and said, "Oh, do. you want the horoscopes or the comics?". That woman knew me so well. She was. surprised [snorts] when my response was, "Actually, this article on the front, this photo looks familiar. So casual, like I wasn't trying to regulate my. fight or flight at that moment and sound. super casual in my interest about the. murder article." She looked perplexed. and said, "Oh, I'm sure you haven't, darling. He was in the mental hospital. and now he's murdered a young woman and. her son," she said dismissively. "You're.

probably right, Granny," I replied, trying to hide my absolute certainty. that I did in fact see Luke just days. before and he and was trying to figure. out if I needed to call the local police. or FBI and how I would ever explain this. to my mother. >> Oh man. >> It just so happened that very same day. my uncle and Lynn had been together. I. can't remember exactly why, but I want. to say it was for a favor involving. Lynn's pickup truck and something heavy. When I heard them pull in, I grabbed the. newspaper and met them at the door. I. didn't want to say anything in the event.

that in the event that I was really. wrong and that was not my new friend. Luke, a grunge guy and hairbrush. rescuer. I handed the newspaper to Lynn. and she immediately recognized the. photo, stared at it, and then back at. me. Then opened the paper and started. reading the article. Then we had to. explain to my uncle what the hell this. meant and why we were rendered basically. speechless. The article made it clear. that Luke and his accomplice were in. custody, so we did not need to contact. the police and share our adventure. >> Oh, that's good. I was worried. I was. like, h. >> the location of the crime was not near.

where we had traveled with him. And if. the timeline was accurate, we were with. him prior to this crime being committed. That's almost scary. >> That's really scary. >> I couldn't stop thinking about it all. summer. And while I wanted to tell someone, my. uncle made it clear my mother would. freak the [ __ ] out. >> Oh my god. >> So, we all decided to keep it to. ourselves. >> No, you can't have a secret. >> Secrets are no fun. >> It would have been such a good story to. share on the first day of 9th grade. Way. better than my usual summer vacation. stories. Yep. >> But to make sure I never let it slip.

out, I basically buried the experience. It was actually several years later. until even my uncle brought it up at. all. >> There was a fly. A fly. A fly just flew. into my face. >> That was wild. [laughter] It was like It. was like one of those fruit flies. I was. like, "Get out of here.". Uh, anyways, it wasn't actually uh it it was actually. several years later. And he said, "Look. for me. Are you a fly?" I literally just.

said, "It's probably Nicholas. Look for. me." That's almost a little ominous, though. That's actually really ominous, Nicholas. But I'll look for you. Yeah, we will. I'll go with it. We look for. you everywhere. >> We do. >> Uh until my uncle. >> say I remember you. >> Yeah, >> we remember you. Nicholas. >> Nicholas. What's up? What's going on? >> What's going on? >> Tell us more. >> Tell us everything. >> Tell us about yourself, Nicholas. >> So, the uncle took a long time to bring. it up. So, for a very long time, I.

really did forget this experience ever. happened to me. >> Damn. >> I will lose my literal mind if you ever. pick my story to share. and I will have. to squeal and jump up and down at my. desk, which I'm sure will not please any. of my co-workers or my supervisors. Tell. them to get the [ __ ] over it. >> Yeah, tell them to tell them to f I have. linked some articles about where Luke is. now and the original story I saw in the. local paper. I've also attached some. photos of me, my family, and my pets. because I know you just love cute kids. and small and animal pictures. Keep it. weird, but not so that you spend the day. shopping with a murderer. Maybe don't.

introduce a 14-year-old to somebody who. you met at a mental hospital during. group who is now just chilling in the. mall looking like Kirk Cobain. Very. [laughter] valid. >> It's, you know, that is valid. >> Uh, damn. >> And I think. >> those are links to the. >> those are the Oh my gosh. Oh my god, your cat. >> And on a six blanket. >> You have great taste. >> You do. >> Oh. Oh my god. Look at that face. What a. >> You guys know how to get us a puppy. >> and a steak. >> Another puppy. Is that a puggle? >> Oh, that kind of looks like Bubba. Is.

that a puggle? That definitely is a. pugle for sure. There's. >> that's I knew it was I knew it was Mr. Pointy. >> Oh [ __ ] That's cool. >> Oh, and look at your family. This is the. second Disney photo we've received. >> I know. What are you guys doing to me? [laughter]. >> What are you guys doing to me? I want to. go to back to Disney so bad. >> There's Luke. >> There's Luke. There's you. I think. >> you're. say what is it? >> Said message. >> Message. Do you have a message in a. bottle? Oh gosh.

>> Got a text. >> Huh? >> That's weird. He's like, "Read your. message, Aiden. >> Message in a bottle.". >> This next headline is insane. [laughter]. >> Um, >> what? >> Okay. The time a Christmas elf prevented. an abduction. >> Period. >> Period. >> Period. >> Hello, ladies. Hi. First of all, you two. are absolutely amazing and I truly love. your show. Thank you. >> The only regret is that I just. discovered your show, but at least it. means I have a large backlog of shows to.

binge. >> We have like 800 episodes. There's a lot. there. Right now, I'm up to early 2020. and I'm not going to lie, my heart is. breaking cuz you two are so excited. about your upcoming live shows and I. know the world is about to shut down. I'm excited to hear what happens and I. really hope you were able to reschedule. all of your live shows because you two. are a gift to the world. Thank you so. much for that. We didn't reschedule even. any of them. [laughter]. >> So, thank you. >> And our management is like, "You sure. that you don't want to?". >> They were like, "Wow, that sucked.". Anyways, I really hope you are still. doing listener tales. We are. Hey, here.

we are. Uh, but if not, hopefully this. tail at least entertains you. It will. Uh, my name is Steve. Feel free to use. my real name. What's up, Steve? And back. in high school, I was a total theater. geek. >> Can I try? >> Me, too. >> Can I try? >> Can you try? He's like, >> you can say Steve. Nicholas is like, can. I try what you guys are doing? Like, I. think I can do it better. >> He wants to go for it. >> Give it a try. Um, so you were a total. theater geek. So was I. Uh, as well, every Christmas, I would dye my hair. half red and half green because I. [ __ ] love the holidays.

>> I love that. >> One of my fellow students hair uh. parents hired myself to play an elf at. their Christmas party and my drama. teacher to play Santa since he was a. jolly large man. >> Absolutely. I. >> They even rented me a costume and it was. a ton of fun. The party ended late and I. was driving home and around midnight. through the affluent part of town. There. were literally no other cars on the. road, which in retrospect should have. triggered my Spidey sense, but whatever. I was a young dumb kid. I was stopped at. a red light when I heard a blood or I.

heard blood curdling screams. I looked. over to my left and I see a man. literally dragging a woman by her hair. across the street to a car parked on the. other side of the street. >> Oh my god. >> As I like to say back then, I have a. divine sense of justice and asskicking. So, I ran the red light. You have no. idea how much he killed me to break the. law like that. [laughter] Sped over to. help this woman. Thankfully, my parents. had given me a cell phone for. emergencies. It was the late '9s. So, I. called 911.

>> We're not going to leave you. And I. started honking my horn like mad. I. pulled up behind the waiting car as he. had already made it there and was. shoving her into the back seat. >> Oh my god, >> you're a badass for doing this, by the. way. >> For real. >> I turned on my bright my brights and. continued honking my horn. He stared at. me with pure hatred and looked like he. was about to come for me. Luckily, I. don't think he could see me clearly. because I have never been a big person. I think I was around 5'2 or three at. this time and he could have easily. beaten me to a pulp. In my memory, he.

was a beast of a man, but in reality, he. was probably pretty average. >> I bet he was below average. >> Yeah, fate was on my side and he insist. in instead threw her out of the car and. sped off. Go. I got out of my out to. check on her and she seemed physically. okay but was obviously shaken up. At. this point, the dispatcher told my uh me. police were on their way and to sit. tight. I tried my best to comfort her, but one, she just had a very traumatic. experience with a male, so she probably. didn't want to be around a strange male. And two, I'm still dressed like an elf, so she was probably thinking I'm.

completely nuts and mentally unstable. Spoiler alert, I was and still am. [laughter]. >> Can you imagine? like you're such a good. Samaritan, but imagine as a woman going. through this. >> and then a man dressed as an elf. It's. [laughter] just like. >> you're okay. I'd be like I'm not like. don't touch me. >> Like I'm not okay. [laughter]. >> No, please. >> But you're a very amazing person for. this. >> I'm a turtle. >> Did he say I'm a turtle. >> or a turtle? >> Eternal. I thought he said I'm a turtle.

>> That feels like a ghost. >> I was literally [laughter] just going to. say that. >> Yeah. I'm like, "All right, Nicholas. Uh, first of all, you're amazing for. doing this, and second of all, you're. amazing for being so self-aware to know. that she probably was uncomfortable by. having the situation.". >> Something a lot of people wouldn't be. aware of. >> Um, and I love the I I was and still am. mentally unstable. [laughter]. >> This entire time, not a single car. passes by, but I did see a man coming up. the hill towards us pushing a shopping.

cart. At this point, my adrenaline is. fully pumping, so I put myself between. her and the guy. Oh, he's very clearly. on drugs and he comes up to me and says, "Do you like crack?". [laughter]. You are dressed like an elf, which like. it's a choice. [laughter] So, he just wanted to include. even Santa's helpers. Do you like crap? >> I don't [laughter] know. Maybe this guy. isn't. He said he said, "You kind of.

look like you're on [laughter] crack." I. see you. >> He just He said, "I see you." [laughter]. >> Also, his hair is half red and. [laughter] half green. The crack in me. sees the crack. The [laughter] crack in me sees the. crack in you. Oh, [laughter]. we're going to get flagged on YouTube. I'm screaming.

I love completely not expecting that, but it seemed pretty on par with the. evening. Looking back, I simply say. >> no. >> No, [laughter]. it's even. >> Just. >> no. >> Do you like crack? >> No. [laughter]. >> I'm literally crying. My makeup, my '9s. makeup is going to be literally. >> I was just thinking that. >> I have straight up tears running down my. face. >> I smoked this out, too. >> Oh my god. Oh man,

>> I'm gonna look like I just watched Romeo. and Juliet, the Bas Lurman version, and. that I know I can't ever be with. Leonardo DiCaprio. >> The heartbreak for all of us. >> right now. >> Oh, okay. So, I simply said no. He then. smiles broadly and says, I [ __ ] you not. Well, I do. Good. He was just striking. up a conversation. He said like. [laughter] he said, ice breakers. Do you. like crack? I love it. You have to get to know each other. >> He found something out about you. You.

found [laughter] something out about. him. At this point, I see police lights. in the distance speeding towards us. Also, this poor woman, an elf, um. attempted abduction and then somebody on. crack. And the [laughter] guy saw the. lights and says, "Oops, GOT TO GO.". >> And runs off with a shopping cart into. the night. >> I wish him the very best. I wish him the. very best. [laughter]. I hope. Oops. Got to go. >> I hope I hope he's slipping.

>> Oh my god. The police show up and not. unexpectedly, they seemed extremely. skeptical of me and I can't blame them. After questioning, uh, not surprisingly, she knew the [ __ ] who tried to kidnap. her. Oh, yeah. One other detail. Being. winter in Arizona, it was a little. chilly. So, as the adrenaline started. wearing off and I was starting to feel. cold, I told police I was going to get. my jacket out of the car. They kept. their light shined on me and in my car. the whole time. And I pull out my. classic black emo trench coat that all. the cool kids had at the time. Blame the.

Matrix. I'm quite positive the whole. aesthetic of elf with multicolor hair in. the black trench coat totally made me. seem super legit incredible. >> Even just trying to picture that image. in my head is hard to conjure. >> I don't know. >> Yeah, even Nicholas said I don't know. For reference, I ended up becoming a. physician, so even weirder kids can grow. up to be professionals, though I never. fully grew up and I'm still a weird kid. at heart. You are amazing, Steve. >> We love you, Steve. >> The police escorted her away and I was. free to go. I don't know what ended up.

happening to the woman, sadly, but I. really hope she's safe, healthy, and. thriving. >> I can tell you one thing, that woman. thinks of you every week, and I I love. that. Anyways, that's my tale. Sorry for. the length, but I hope it was. entertaining. Keep it weird, but not so. weird that you end up trying to kidnap a. girl, but you have to get stopped by. some punk kid dressed as an elf and then. hesitate, but decide to run away like. the little [ __ ] you are. And then a. crackfueled stranger comes up and. stresses you out further when you are. already full of adrenaline and then the. cops think you're super suspicious. because you look like some weird emo.

Christmas conglomeration. [laughter]. Don't keep it that weird. Thanks so much. for your time. >> I think you might need to keep it that. weird to be honest with you. >> I haven't cried that much. That was a. good one in a long time. >> That was a good one. >> Just that story felt like I was on. drugs. >> That the visuals that came along with. that story were like top notch. Top. notch. >> Top [ __ ] notch. >> All right. One more. >> Oh, Steve. Yeah. Okay. [laughter]. Tail. And the next tale is the tale. Tail is oldest.

>> You sounded like you were starting the. Midnight Society. Tale. >> Tail of the grinning. Whatever. >> Yeah. Tale of the traveling Ouija board. >> There you go. >> Hey Ash and Alina. Hi. >> Hi. First off, I just want to say you. absolutely have permission to use my. name. Hell yeah. It's Amanda. >> Amanda. >> Amanda. And I'm a huge fan. I've been. listening to you guys religiously since. last year. I loved the podcast so much. that I actually went all the way back to. the very beginning. >> Even the episodes where it sounded like. you were recording underwater. >> You're a real one. >> You are. Honestly, it's still amazing to.

listen to. >> Oh, thank you. Sometimes I think about. the fact that my children someday will. listen to early episodes of Morbid and. that I was 22 at the time we recorded. them and it does make me want to drown. myself. >> Yeah. >> I mean the the evolution is nice though. both of us I think. >> Yeah, I think so. >> It's a nice little growth. >> Yeah, it's lots of growth. Lots of. growth from the pipeline from 22 to 30. >> and even probably 30. >> 30 to 40 you go oh 30. I don't know. [ __ ] I think I know a little bit more.

than the beginning of this though. >> Oh yeah. But then. >> you're going to be 40 and you're going. to say I didn't know [ __ ]. >> Oh man. >> Yeah. It's nuts. >> Well, a quick little side note before I. get into my story. Ash, both of my kids. actually had the exact same due date and. it just so happens to be your birthday. Two days. We love a Gemini. >> My son ended up being eight days late. I. dies late. [laughter]. >> Sheila. I dies late. Sheila. My daughter was four days late. Geminis. Geminis. Geminis. Oh, they're seven. years apart, but still both my little.

Geminis's. Meanwhile, I was born later. in June. You say fun. >> said father. >> Father. Is your father a Gemini, Nicholas? >> I think my father is a Pisces. Yours. isn't a Gemini either. >> No, mine is a technically he's a Pisces, but I kind of consider him an Aries. >> Yeah. Anyways, meanwhile, I was born. later in June, so I'm a Cancer. If you. actually end up reading this, I'll. probably [ __ ] my pants. Don't worry, though. I'll have a change of underwear. ready. Good change. Okay, now let's get. into my story about the time my parents. bought my sister and I a Ouija board for.

Christmas. >> Those are cool parents. >> I was 11 years old and I was and my. sister was nine the Christmas my mom and. dad bought it for us. Looking back now, I honestly don't know what possessed. them to buy it. >> Maybe they just thought it was a. harmless board game. >> It was cool then. >> Yeah. Maybe they didn't really believe. in that kind of stuff. Or maybe they. figured we would play with it once and. forget about it like we did with half of. our other toys. >> That's probably what they thought, actually. >> Well, we didn't forget. No, I still. remember tearing the wrapping paper off. the box. The board inside looked. mysterious, a black background, faded.

letters, numbers, yes, no, and a word at. the bottom that would eventually haunt. me. Goodbye. >> Goodbye. >> The planchette was light plastic, heart-shaped with a small window in the. center. It didn't look scary. >> Funny. >> He's like, that's funny. >> He's like, lol. It didn't look scary. That was the problem. That night, after. the house was quiet and our parents were. watching TV downstairs, my sister and I. dragged it into our bedroom. We shared a. room back then. Two twin beds pushed. against opposite walls, a narrow window. between them, and a closet door that.

never shut properly. I feel that's. called foreshadowing. >> It always sat slightly open, just enough. to make you stare at it a little too. long at night. >> We turned off the main light and left. only the small bedside lamp on. The glow. made the room feel secret and important. We sat cross-legged on the floor, fingertips barely touching the. planchette. >> Guest. >> gas. I know. [gasps] He's like, "This. sounds scary.". >> He's like, "I'm terrified.". >> Terrified. >> Terrified. "Is anyone here?" My sister. My sister whispered. Nothing. We looked.

at each other and tried not to laugh. "You're pushing it," I said. "I'm not.". She shot back. >> Oh, that's the classic conversation you. have when you get a Ouija board. >> It was moving slowly, smoothly, not like. a jerk from somebody nudging it. It. glided. We go We both gasped and. instinctively tried to pull our hands. away, but we didn't. Instead, we leaned. in closer. Yeah, >> that was the first mistake. For weeks. after that, the board became our nightly. ritual. >> You two are awesome. >> I also feel like you're probably not. closing the door, which is like not. good. Like the portal.

>> Yeah. >> We would rush through homework at and. dinner just to get back to our room and. ask more questions. >> At first, it was harmless stuff. What. grade would we get in math? Would we get. a dog? Would we ever meet a celebrity? But then we started asking bigger. questions. Is there someone here with. us? Are you dead? What's your name? Sometimes it was random letters. Sometimes it moved in circles. Sometimes. it stopped abruptly on goodbye before we. were finished. >> We told ourselves it was our. imaginations. until the house changed. It started.

subtly. Footsteps in the hallway when. everyone was downstairs. The sound of. pacing back and forth outside of our. bedroom door after midnight. Huh. >> My dad would check and find nothing. He'd chug it off as the furnace or the. pipes. But furnaces don't walk. That is. something really against his argument. Yeah, I would say. >> furnaces are famous for not walking. >> They famously don't walk. >> Then came the shadows. >> Oh, >> you'd catch something move out the. corner of your eye, a shape slipping. past the doorway, a flicker crossing the.

wall, but then you turn your head and. nothing was there. >> That happens to us in this house all the. time. That. >> especially in the kitchen. >> That has started happening to me in my. house and the shadow is in the kitchen. >> Yeah. >> Uh-uh. So that's fun. I last night I. kept seeing something out of the corner. of my eye in that like back room. Yep. >> Like walking into that back room. >> That's what we always get. We'll be. sitting watching TV and both of us will. like turn to look over cuz we think. >> hide. >> hide. Yeah. Honestly, >> bite. >> Bite bite. Okay. I hate that more.

>> Uh that's somehow worse. Uh but but both. of us look over and we always think it's. one of the girls coming down and we'll. always look at each other and be like, "Did you see something?" And he's like, "Yep, I hate that." And it's always. something coming from the hallway into. the kitchen and just like walking. through. >> and we always think it's one of the. girls. >> I've seen that in your house before at. night. >> and it's so clear in my periphery. >> Yeah. >> I like how you say that periphery. >> Periphery. >> I like that. >> Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. I I. feel like nobody ever says that. They. always just say my peripheral. >> Yeah. >> You're fancy.

>> Thank you. >> And the feeling the constant crawling. feeling that you were not alone even. when you were. >> One afternoon I was in my room by myself. playing with my toys. The house was. completely quiet. My sister was outside. My parents were at work. Side note, the. '90s were wild. Just leaving your kids. home alone. >> They sure were. >> Out of nowhere, my alarm clock started. blasting music. I hate that. >> Not softly. Full volume. I jumped so. hard I knocked over the toy in my hand. The strange part. My alarm clock wasn't. plugged into the wall.

>> No, that's not good. >> Ew. I have chilies. Like gross chilies. I stared at it from across the room, my. heart hammering. Adam. >> Adam. >> Adam. >> Adam. He said Adam. It's Adam. Uh, the. cord was wrapped neatly behind it, not. even close to an outlet. I tried to. think logically. All right, maybe it has. batteries. I walked over slowly, each. step feeling heavier than the last. Picked it up, flipped it over. No. batteries. >> No batteries. >> Oh god.

>> I was just going to say no batteries. There wasn't even a compartment for. them. The music stopped on its own a few. seconds later. The silence afterward was. worse than the noise. I stood there. frozen, goosebumps covering every inch. of my arms, feeling like something. invisible had just looked me straight in. the face and smiled. >> I didn't tell my parents. I didn't even. tell my sister right away. Saying it out. loud would make it real. But then there. was the doll. >> Oh, >> don't leave. Don't leave. He's like, I'm. scared now. >> He said, "Sit. [laughter] Sit down for.

this.". >> My sister had this doll. She loved the. kind with plastic eyelids that open when. upright and close when you lay them. down. I [ __ ] hate those things. >> She carried it everywhere. Or so I. assumed because it kept showing up in. different spots around the house. Sitting upright on the couch, propped. against the hallway wall, once sitting. at the kitchen table as if it was placed. there to watch. Hate it. Every time I. mentioned it, my sister would say she. must have just forgotten she left it. there. And I believed her until one. night. >> He say, "I told him.". >> I told him. He's like, "I told him.".

>> I told He told Adam. >> Yeah, he told Adam that. >> What did you tell Adam? >> What did you tell Adam? Let us know. Write in. >> I don't know what woke me up. Maybe it. was a noise. Maybe it was the heavy. feeling in the room again. But my eyes. opened suddenly. I looked across the. dark room toward my sister's bed. The. only light that came through uh the only. light came from the moon through the. window. And I [ __ ] you not, her doll was. lying on its side beside her pillow, but. its eyes were wide open. Not halfway,

not flickering, wide open, staring. directly at me. >> I hate that so much. >> You know what that that moment is? [ __ ]. your pants. [ __ ] [ __ ] your pants. Here. we go. [ __ ] your pants. [ __ ] [ __ ] your. pants. >> Get out. Leave. [laughter]. >> My chest. You leave. Get out. [laughter]. >> My chest tightened so fast. I thought I. would scream, but no sound came out. That's the worst. >> I would die. I just lay there staring.

back at it. Those dolls close their eyes. when they're horizontal. That's how. they're made. But this one was not. closed. It felt intentional, like it. knew I was awake. >> I pulled my blanket over my head and did. not move until the next morning. The. next day, when the sun made everything. seem stupid and harmless again, I picked. up the doll and lay it on its side. Its. eyes slid shut immediately. >> She's [clears throat] not here. >> She's not here. >> No, she Oh my god. She's not here. because the eyes actually shut this. time. Yeah, she's gone. >> I felt sick because I knew what I had.

seen. The atmosphere in our house grew. even heavier after that. Even my parents. started mentioning strange things. My. mom said she heard someone call her name. when no one was home. My dad said tools. in the garage would be moved from where. he left them. Nobody connected it out. loud, but my sister and I knew. >> This is so ominous. >> It really is. Eventually, my parents. decided we were moving to Alberta, Canada. A fresh start, a new job. opportunity, a new house. We were. leaving Manitoba behind. As we cleaned. out the house before the move, we found.

the Ouija board tossed behind our toy. bin. Neither of us had touched it in. weeks. It felt wrong to even look at it. Without saying much, my mom decided to. throw it in the trash. Not packed, not. donated, thrown away. >> I don't think that's how you're supposed. to do that. >> Probably not. >> Uh, we drove all the way back to. Alberta. Boxes. Alberta. I just. [laughter]. >> We drove all the way back to Alberta. boxes. I was like looking at boxes and. stacked so it just became Alberta. [laughter]. >> Boxes stacked in the U-Haul saying.

goodbye to everything familiar. >> The new house felt lighter at first. I. don't like that you said. >> at first. >> What? >> Consciousness. >> Huh? >> You said it. He was like consciousness. >> Consciousness. [snorts]. >> Yikes. >> Okay. >> It was empty, clean, but within days the. same feeling crept back in. Shadows, soft footsteps, that presence. >> Damn. That reminds me of the Paranormal. Activity like the one that's playing. now. It's like places aren't haunted, people are. I hate that.

>> That play is so good. >> It's so good. It's still [ __ ] me up. >> Yep. >> We blamed it on stress, on adjusting, on. imagination. Finally, after days of. unpacking, there was only one box left. My dad sliced it open, and believe it or. not, sitting right on the very top was. the Ouija board. But you threw it away. like it had been carefully placed there. The same scratches on the corner of the. box. The same bent edge. The one my mom. threw in the trash in Manitoba. No one spoke. My mom went pale. My.

sister immediately looked at me. My dad. just stared at all of us in disbelief, wondering who packed it when my mom. clearly told him she threw it away. But. we hadn't packed it. Nobody did. We saw. my mom throw it in the garbage. But. somehow it had traveled over a thousand. kilometers with us from Manitoba to. Alberta. >> To Albertus. >> to Alberta. >> all the way. >> all the way to Alberta. Like it had. chosen to follow. That was the moment I. felt true fear. Not the kind where you.

jump and laugh afterward. Not the kind. you can explain away. The kind that. settles into your bones. We never. touched it again. >> I don't like it. We did We did end up. moving again to a nice, beautiful home. We cleansed the [ __ ] out of it and. nothing quote unquote crazy happened in. that home. I don't know who got rid of. it or how. I don't know where it ended. up, but I know this. When I say I will. never use a Ouija board again, I mean. it. Because some things aren't games. except maybe Naked Twister in the. shower. Honey, [laughter] honey, you're. getting crazy in these streets. He's.

literally doing this. [laughter]. >> Aiden said what? >> Said I'm sorry. What? He said that's. that's silly girl. >> Damn. >> What did he say? That didn't happen. >> When did IT HAPPEN? [laughter]. >> Nicholas said pictures or didn't happen. When did you play naked twister in the. shower? >> Also, would you play clothes twister? >> You said I need a timeline. [laughter]. >> Oh [ __ ]. >> Naked twister in the shower could. probably kill you. So be very.

>> Well, that's my story. I [laughter]. really do hope you both enjoyed it. Sorry if it was a little wishy-washy. Change whatever you need to. And thanks. again for potentially taking the time to. read it. Holy [ __ ] I am so terrified by. that. I literally can't handle it. I'm. shookth. I hate that a lot. I hate that. a whole lot. My oh my, you people are. [ __ ]. >> Keep them coming. I love these. >> You know where to send them. Podcast@gmail.com. Debub will find it if. you're lucky. >> It's true. >> Well, we hope you keep listening. >> and we hope you.

>> keep it weird, but not as weird as any. of the stories here. Or, you know, maybe. do keep it that weird because if you. keep it that weird then we might read it. on the podcast. >> Yeah. Don't we. >> Barbie Lamborghini though. >> Barbie Lamborghini for sure. >> And elf. >> And elf. Yeah, >> definitely do that. >> Don't you croc. Don't do that. >> Yeah. Bye. >> bye. [laughter].