The Secret to Building Wealth from Nothing (It's Not What You Think) | Barbara Corcoran

Gave me a thousand dollars to start my. business. That was a lucky break. When. he said, "You'll never succeed without. [music] me.". I knew I'd rather die than not succeed. Thank God he said that. He was wrong. I. sold my business for $66 million. about 20 years later and he was out of. business in 3 years. Today our guest is. the one and the only Barbara Corcoran. She is one of the original sharks on. Shark Tank. She's a real estate mogul, one of the most influential self-made. women in business. She's going to look.

you straight in the eye and call you out. on every single excuse that you've been. hiding behind. And if you've been. telling yourself you're too old and it's. too late, you better buckle up because. she's got some things to say to you. When I was building my business The. Corcoran Group in New York City, you. have to appreciate that all the. businesses are owned by men. None of the. big boys watched me and I creeped up on. them, bit their ass from behind. They. never knew what was coming. How did you. become a judge on Shark Tank? Well, I. was hired and then fired before I had a.

chance. >> Wait, what do you mean? Why did they. fire you? Well, they fired me because. they I actually had a very happy. childhood. I was very poor, but I was. happy. My mother had 10 kids. It was. crowded and it was competitive. I was. always competing for my mother's. attention, so I got good at talking. That's a gift I got out of being. dyslexic. Oh, I think dyslexia made me. successful. I don't think I would have. been successful without it. You can. create exactly what you want. >> But I think the key there really is. moving on something, anything. Just. [music] get yourself moving. And then.

the idea becomes itself. Barbara Corcoran, welcome to the Mel. Robbins podcast. >> Thank you very much. I have been looking. forward to this because I have met you. in passing a number of times. I admire. you so much. I'm a fan of Shark Tank. I've heard your keynote address. It's. extraordinary. How might my life be. different if I take everything to heart. that you're about to share with us and. teach us today and apply it to my own. life or my business? I would love people.

to. appreciate and believe that you're far. more capable than you think you are. I've never met a person who wasn't more. capable than they gave themselves credit. for. And I'd like people to really understand. that you don't have to do it the way. everybody else does it. It's not the way. that you're going to do it. You're free. to do it exactly as you please. I know. that so many people are going to listen. to this and they're going to share it. particularly with the women in their. lives that are doubting themselves, that. don't think they're capable. So, could.

you speak directly to the person who may. be receive this from a friend or a. sister. and they're feeling full of doubt, they've lost some confidence, they're. feeling a little stuck. What do you want. to say to that? Well, I think everyone. feels stuck. I'm probably feeling stuck. four or five times a month. Really? It's. not important whether you feel stuck or. not. Just assume it's a human condition. We all feel that way. But I think you can do a lot to change. yourself to being unstuck. And one of. the best ways to do it, or at least I. started with it, is to change tape in.

your head. I had a tape in my head like. intimidation all the way until I decided. to change it from, "Barbara, you're. overstating. Barbara, you can't get. there. Barbara, you can't can't can't. can't can't." And replace it with, "Barbara, you're incredible." Now, did I. believe it? No, but I made the habit of. changing it every time my mind went down. that hole. I changed it to, "Barbara, you're incredible." And eventually I. started believing it. We all have lousy. tapes and I had leftover from childhood. Man, I have a little I think the the.

woman that gave me the worst tape in my. head was Sister Mary, the nun from hell, in third grade, who said, "You're always. going to be stupid cuz you can't read.". It took me probably 8 years to get over. that and I said, "I'm not going to be. stupid." And that's I decided not to be. I mean, it's a shame. How dare someone. make you feel less than you are? You've. got to come back strong. Well, and. oftentimes, Barbara, and I think you. know this, too, because you just talked. a little bit about how you were like, "Barbara, you're doing this. Barbara, you're doing that." And you started. saying, "Barbara, you're incredible.". And then the more you repeated it, you.

started to believe it. But oftentimes. the person that's beating us down the. most is ourselves. Yes, very much. >> the person who's listening right now who. feels like, "Okay, Mel, Barbara, I love both you ladies, but it's too. late for me. I have screwed up too many. times. >> Wow. I have not gotten myself together. It's too late. I'm too old. What do you. want to say to that person? I'm not It's. never too late, obviously. You know. that. I know that. But I think you just. have to pause and realize I have always.

done. a simple exercise. I've counted the. years I have left and think of how many. more mes can I get in those years. So, when I was 46 and sold my business, I. thought I sold the golden goose and I. thought I would never ever create. another business again like that. I. thought I had sold my best business. Not. that I didn't want to. I wanted to. But. then I realized I was a golden goose. You can create exactly what you want. I. mean, I laid eggs again and again and I. reinvented myself over and over again.

But I think the key there really is to. believe that you really have to get good. at trying cuz the minute you try an. opportunity is right there and you go, "Whoa, I didn't think of that." But it's. when you're in that still position, or. at least for me when I'm in a still. position, I could sit at my desk and try. to invent an idea, forget it. It's about. moving on something, anything. Just get. yourself moving and then the idea. becomes itself. And by the way, about. failing at stuff, which I find just. stops a lot of people. They feel they've. had two or three failures and oh, I'm.

not going to do it. I just don't believe. in that. I think they just didn't hang. around long enough to see the flip side. of failure cuz all my good stuff. happened after a big failure. It almost. seemed like for me the bigger the. failure I had, the bigger the upside. But I was. dogged enough to just stay there and see. this got to be something, you know, there's got to be something. And I think. it's just waiting around for the. something to find it and believing. there's something there. I don't think. you're ever wrong. I think there's. always something there and you can get. something started again. You said.

something that really caught my. attention, which is you do this thing. where you count the years you have left. >> Yes, I do. >> So, do you have a number in mind for how. long you're going to live? >> Yeah, about 105. Okay, 105. So, let's. just take that away as something you can. grab from Barbara. You're going to live. to 105. You've got that many years left. And I love what That's a lot of years. That's a lot How many mes can I pack. into? >> another two. But they've got to be. different. They've got to suit who I am.

at that juncture in my life. Ooh, I love. that. >> never build another real estate business. with the energy it took, the people I. had to hire, the financial stress I went. through. I'm older now. I just can't. handle it. It's got to be appropriate to. who you are and true to yourself at that. point in time because your experience. changes you. You're still the same. Barbara, but you're slightly different, so it's got to fit you very well. How do. you know what fits you and what doesn't? It feels right. I don't have a plan. necessarily. I might have a vague plan, but I have confidence that I'll find.

something and that it will feel right. when I see it. Like I did this last go-around. When I. sold The Corcoran Group, I tried cooking. lessons. I was going to be a chef. I. tried artistic lessons. I I was going to. be an artist. I have all those. capabilities, but nothing felt right. I. started a PR company for about 3 months. Didn't feel right. Threw that away. And. the fourth one I landed on, I became a. an expert in real estate on the Today. show. And all of a sudden, I was getting. work. And I said, "Hey, this feels. right. Let me do it. I'm good at talking.

on TV." And off I went. And that right. there is an example of exactly what you. just told us to do. Mhm. You have to. try. You're also known as one of the. most accomplished investors and founders. today, but what people don't know is how. the story begins. And so, what I want to. do is go all the way back to growing up. in New Jersey and talk about what life. really looked like. I got a little photo. for you of you and your siblings.

>> Oh, sure. I love this photo. That was my. sister Ellen's idea. Thank God we posed. for it. Yeah. >> those opportunities easily enough. Talk. about what life really looked like when. you were growing up in New Jersey. Well, I actually had a very happy. childhood. I was very poor, but I was. happy. My mother had 10 kids. Her father. was My father was her 11th child, I. think. She was the hardest to manage of. all of us. But it was crowded and it was. competitive. I would say those two words.

come to mind always, crowded. So, you. had to make do all the time and finesse. all the time and competitive. You had to. compete for my mother and father's. attention. We each got very little. attention. It was doled out in teeny. little pieces. And I really believe. that's the reason I've needed a lot of. attention my whole life, making up for. that or something. But it was chaotic. But my mother had a. great ability for systems. She had a. system for everything in the household. And with her systems, we were always. well-dressed. We were always had good. meals. We always celebrated holidays and.

we felt like we were the rich kids in. town, really. But we weren't. But what a. great upbringing I had, really. So, you. grew up in a two-bedroom flat with 10. siblings. How did that shape the way you. approach life? I was always competing for my mother's. attention, so I got good at talking. I. got good at entertaining the kids, entertaining my parents, and I was. always wanted in the group. You know, you kind of had to be invited in. When. you have 10 kids, you play with whoever. you want. I was always one of the kids. they wanted to play with cuz I was fun,

fun-loving. So, I learned how to make. fun. >> [snorts]. >> And. I just carried that forth to my. business. I think I was the most fun. boss in the world and that made it big. difference. It made people love me. Did having a ton of siblings and growing. up in an environment that was crowded. and competitive help you learn how to. read people? Cuz I think one of the. things that I've noticed about you, especially in your role as a judge on. Shark Tank is you seem to be. an instant judge of good or bad.

character of a founder you want to. invest in and somebody you don't. You. know, we were kids, my mother was a. great judge of people. She would had a. crazy thing she did when she brought the. kid home from Holy Name Hospital. She'd. wrapped him and say, "Meet your brother. Tommy. He's going to be a magnificent. dancer." Wow, a dancer in the family. And she coined what everybody was going. to be when they grew up. She was. amazingly accurate. The reason she made. that prediction about my brother was he. had fat legs and he was kicking like. hell. But he became a ballet dancer for.

Alvin Ailey Dance Theater. >> He did for Alvin Ailey? For me, she said. when I came home crying at a school that. Sister Stella Maria had told me I was. stupid again, she said to me, "Don't. worry about it. You have a wonderful. imagination." And she announced that. when I was born and she put me in that. role all the time. And she said, "With. it, you'll fill in all the blanks." So I. grew up really thinking I had the best. imagination in the world. So judging. people, I think we're all in our family. great judges of people because my mother.

was. My mother could judge anyone from a. mile away and she was accurate. I. remember when I was running my business, I hired bookkeepers to be sales people, sales people to be bookkeepers, switch. things around because I just envisioned. them in a different role. I saw that. capacity and I had the empathy to walk. in their shoes and understand them. And. as a result of that, I really hired good. people. I really think that was my. secret, but I got it from my mother. I. never had a mentor, but I had my mother. >> [snorts]. >> You know, I you told the story about.

that awful nun. who said you were stupid when the nun. >> The nun from hell. And what you didn't. know at the time is that it wasn't that. you couldn't read, it was that you had. dyslexia. Yeah. And late. >> a name for that, I don't think then. They they definitely didn't because they. really weren't talking about it much. when I was in school and I'm a couple. decades younger than you, just a couple. They had a special class in that. They. did down the hall. Ah. Yes, but I found. out that I had dyslexia late in life. just like you did because our sons were. being diagnosed. Yes, that's usually.

when you find out. >> So do you think being underestimated. or having to figure out different ways. to solve problems is part of what's made. you successful? I think dyslexia made me. successful. I don't think I would have. been successful without it. You know, a lot comes with being. dyslexic. You look at the world. differently, you interpret it. differently. You over prepare constantly or I am. I'll prepare like 7 hours for a 1-hour. speech. It's ridiculous. Do I know this.

stuff? Of course I do, but I'm so. insecure because I never want to be. called on again and not know the answer. You know, nothing's worse than being a. dyslexic child and being judged by how. well you could read or write. The worst. thing for me was being asked to read out. loud in front of the other kids. You're. a th- th- th- You're definitely looking. stupid. But you know what it brings with. you? A different way of thinking. I sat. in that classroom 6 hours a day and just. imagined things. I never paid attention. And it's right that today I can think of. an idea a minute. I can just think of. solutions really fast. That's a gift I.

got out of being dyslexic. I think also. that with dyslexia people underestimate. you. So you don't read at the board. meeting and they write you off because. you're you're stumbling. But they don't. know your imagination and what you're. thinking about and how you express. yourself with your mouth as a result of. not being able to write. I mean, I got. very good with my mouth. I got very. funny. You and I are so similar. Really? Yes. And if you can't do what's being. asked of you, you find other ways Yes.

>> to matter. You find other ways to. express yourself. I mean, it's not. There's no way. Do you think It's interesting because I. think a lot of people are afraid of. being underestimated. But for you and me. Come on, you know me better. >> what it means to be underestimated. >> When I was building my business, the. Corcoran Group in New York City, you. have to appreciate that all the. businesses are owned by men. All the. people working for the businesses were. well connected. I hired everybody that. nobody else wanted. People wrote me off.

They weren't watching me for like 10. years. None of the big boys watched me. I was the girl that wasn't going to do. any anything really spectacular. And I. crept up on them. They weren't watching. I bit their ass from behind. They never. knew what was coming. I was able to try. marketing ideas that they never thought. of. I did business a different way. You. know, I was able to hire gay men. No one. was hiring gay men. But what dedication. I had for my gay sales people. I hired. everybody who didn't want to, but what a. team we had and everybody was getting.

even, proving that they could be a. somebody. And I was there to tell them. they were better than they ever were and. they were really going to be a somebody. And guess what everybody did? Even a guy. I hired as a concierge desk at the. Pierre Hotel became my secretary and he. later went on to run my arch rival and. almost put me out of business. My God, I. just had a gift of knowing what people. would do well. >> You know, one of the things that I also. love about you. is I think there's very few people that. could outwork me, but you might be one.

of them. Oh, I could outwork you. No. doubt. I've never met anyone who could. work harder. Yes, you work very, very. hard. You worked 22 jobs Yes, I did. before you started that real estate. business, including being a. receptionist, a waitress. I want you to. walk me through that chapter and what. did those early jobs teach you? The. early jobs are invaluable and you know, today people think they should know what. they want to be when they grow up and. they get right into that track. I think. it's such a terrible mistake. I spent.

those 22 jobs most importantly learning. what I was good and what I was bad at. So I was a great waitress. I at times. had three waitress jobs at once, but I. could charm anybody. I could serve them. faster than anybody. Get that coffee. there. Call the guy handsome if I. couldn't remember his name from the day. before. And it helped me tremendously. I was a. nurse's aide and I had to post. temperature charts and I got the numbers. mixed up. I knew it ain't belong in a. business with numbers at all. I learned that I could sell more hot. dogs at a hot dog stand than the next.

kid cuz I had the gift of gab. I learned. exactly what I should be at and I. learned really most importantly I was. great at sales and that's what I wound. up being. When I went into the real. estate business, I knew nothing about. real estate and never really learned. anything about real estate. But I knew. how to make people happy with their real. estate and talk them into things they. really loved and were afraid to make the. choice about. What What do you think. makes someone good at sales? I think it's.

being genuine. Mhm. I don't think you. have to fake it. I think people know. when you're selling. selling them something they don't want. to buy, talking them into it. I think. you just have to make someone. comfortable with what they're going to. choose anyway. Give them reasons why it's a great. choice. Make them feel justified in. going up to a higher price that they. deserve that apartment at a higher price. or they deserve the better view or. whatever. I think it's making them feel. comfortable with you. It's really more. what sales is about, comfort. I agree.

and I think that's a lot of what comes. through those early jobs. Yes. Is. getting comfortable with yourself and. comfortable with people of different. moods as you're serving them. But thank. God I had the chance to try out 22 jobs. You know, when I went into. Bloomingdale's to buy my first coat, which was an extravagant coat with my. first commission check. I didn't know what I'd look good in and. I tried on a million coats and it's kind. of the same way with jobs. I think you. got to just try on a million stuff to. see what you're good at. Just doesn't. come naturally. You know, I have a photo of you.

Where are you getting these photos? I. haven't seen this in. >> when you're 23 years old. >> That's the coat I was telling you about. >> kidding me? >> Yes, swear to God. >> That's the first coat you bought at. Bloomingdale's with your $330 and had a. $340 commission check. Okay, hold on a. second. So you earned $340 on your first. real estate transaction and you spent. 330 of it on a coat. Yeah, I blew it. And so what would you tell that version. of you, the 23-year-old Barbara, about.

what's possible? I would have told myself you're dead on. You look and feel like a million bucks, you're going to act like a million. bucks. I wanted to be the queen of New. York real estate on day one in the. business. I saw it like I could taste. it, touch it, saw it in living color. But I had a ratty alpha on, you know? So. once I put that coat on, I wore it for. the next 6 years up and down the streets. of Manhattan, but I felt like a fancy. lady. Everyone would have told me what a. stupid thing to do when you only had a.

thousand dollars to stretch. It wasn't a. stupid thing. It was probably the best. thing I ever bought. How come? Because. it made me feel like who I wanted to be. Well, you know what I love about this. story, there's really important wisdom. to pull out of it that I want to make. sure as you're listening or watching. that you don't miss. So Barbara, even at the age of 23, you. had this sense of clarity. to be able to say to yourself, "This is. what I want.". And without that sense of clarity and.

the permission that you give yourself to. say, "You know what? I want to be. successful in real estate. I want to be. the queen of real estate in New York. City. Why the hell not?". Declaring it is the first step and then. you started to think about what are some. of the small things I need to do to feel. like it. And the coat was the first one to embody. it, to look like it, to feel like it. before you were it. Yes. So let's fast. forward 7 years, you're 30 years old. Your boyfriend, who also becomes your.

business partner. Why the hell are you. in business with your boyfriend, Barbara? I was a diner waitress and he. came in one night and he was charming. He had jet black hair, aviator shades. on. He was sexy. I had never had a. boyfriend. So [snorts] at 23, I really. wanted a boyfriend. >> Yep. And he later, 2 months later, once. I was his girlfriend, gave me a thousand. dollars to start my business. Where the. heck would I get a thousand dollars? >> That was the lucky break. That was the. lucky break and I started the company. first with him. I needed him. I didn't.

have the confidence at the time to think. I could really do it, but he told me I. could and then I believed it. He told me. he was successful in business. He was. charming and he said you'd be great at. real estate sales. So I said, "Okay, that's good enough. I could always go. back to the diner.". And that's exactly what I did. I started. the business. So, he left you? Yes. Married? My secretary, that. >> [laughter]. >> Well, now you want to thank her. probably. Yeah, probably. But, he also. told you.

that you'll never succeed without me. Well, I don't blame him cuz I was going. out the door. I divided the business in. half and left him on a Friday afternoon. and took my half of my business out with. me. And I think he was angry. I don't. really think in the hindsight when I. think about it that he meant it, but. thank God he said it cuz when he said, "You'll never succeed without me.". I knew I'd rather die than not succeed. And when I was in bad times and didn't. know how to keep the business through.

all the upheavals in New York City of. going bankrupt, the stock market crash, 9/11, when I was always be out of cash, I would think of his words. They would. just come back on me and I would always. think of some other angle to keep in. business. So thank God he said that. He. was wrong. I sold my business for 66. million dollars about 20 years later and. he was out of business in three years. So, go go figure. Go I you what you. almost said, I heard. So. >> [laughter].

>> Yep. Yep. Yep. So, how do you build. confidence when you're scared or when. you're unsure? You [snorts] know, I have all my. confidence from one thing only and I. don't think people appreciate it. They. think if you're successful in what you. attempt, even in a particular chapter in. your life or day in your life, you grab. from that your confidence and you have. more confidence for the next time. It's. never worked for me that way. I've tried. everything. I've failed, you know, most.

things, but most things in my real. estate business are flops. But, when I had a success, I found my. confidence wasn't built. But, what did. build my confidence and made it rock. solid is I knew I could outwork and. outtry anyone and I knew I'd be back. If. I failed, I just knew in my heart I was. going to stand right back up. And knew. you'll always stand back up and try. again. You're confident. You You look confident. because you are confident. You might not. win again. You might fail again, but the. next one will be a win. So, I just keep.

trying, trying, trying, trying. I try so. much say anything that's new out in the. social space, I try it. That's where I. get my confidence from. >> That's the best definition of confidence. because I think most people say, "My. confidence is in the thing I'm. accomplishing." And you just said, "No, confidence, true confidence is knowing. that you can count on yourself to keep. going and to pick yourself back up and. to keep working hard.". >> from you. That's right. Nobody can take.

that away from you. What is the biggest. failure that you've had? You keep. talking about failure like what's the. one that's like, "Whoa, God." Well, any. of my failures, the biggest ones were. always my biggest success. Probably the. one I what lost the most money on. Would. you say what it's a failure? Sure. What was that? >> Okay, that was homes on tape. I. announced to my sales people, "You know, we're going to take all your apartments. and put them on videotape." This is. before the advent of the internet. That. sounds brilliant. >> It sounds brilliant. Cheered me on. I. felt like a goddamn genius. So, I put.

everybody on videotape including my. sales people, did their makeup, did. their hair, made them look beautiful and. no one handed out the tape. I I couldn't. believe that it would be I spent 77,000. dollars which was my first profit on the. what I thought was a great idea. It. failed miserably, but I was with my. husband that weekend right after the. failure and feeling sorry for myself for. about a minute and he mentioned he was. playing war games on this new government. thing called the internet in real time.

And I took my tapes and put them on the. internet that Monday morning and I. registered all my competitors' URLs. So, I own them. And we sold two apartments in out of. London in one week. Boom. Boom. It just. hit. And that was the advent of the. internet which was going to change the. real estate business more than any other. thing has changed it, but I had almost. two years to play around on the internet. before my competitors woke up. And when. they woke up, they always called me. asking for the URLs back. That's how I. knew they were waking up, you know?

But, now look at that. That was the. worst disaster money-wise cuz it was my. whole profit, but in the long run or. even in the short run, it was my biggest. success. The internet took me from maybe. 12th, 13th position and maybe number. three. Well, I was coming within. shooting range after the internet. Cuz I. was there early and it was simply. happenstance. I hung around. That's all. I did. I hung around and used it. What's your advice to somebody who's. listening right now, who's just starting.

their career, who's trying to figure out. their future? You're not going to figure. it out from afar. Just try a lot of. stuff on. Forget [snorts] about what mom. and dad said or whatever. Just figure. out I think a good guide is to figure. out what you're good at and figure out. what you're not good at. And if you. don't know, get out and play in the. traffic and find out. See if you're good. at this or that and that makes for a. happy and successful career. If you. could wrap a career choice around. something you're naturally good at, you. have nothing to do but win. You really.

will win with it cuz that's what I did. I only I only use utilize in my business. a few traits that I have and that's good. enough. What are the few traits? Judging. people, marketing, and salesmanship. That's what I do well. When I sold the. Corcoran Group, I sat down with a legal. pad and wrote down everything I was good. at and everything I was bad at to try to. think of what I would do. And there were. only three things I could do. One of. them was TV, one of them was a PR. agency, and one was an advertising. agency. Would utilize my traits of being.

good on camera, being a good salesman, and liking public speaking. Those were. the three that were on the list. And I. went into the TV business, thank God. I. could have done it in the PR and. advertising space, I think just as well. Well, you said you tried it, but you. didn't like it. It didn't feel right. >> Yeah, I didn't. >> That's why you got to get in traffic and. play around because then you're going to. figure out what actually feels right and. what doesn't. You know, there's a lot of. people that are losing their jobs right. now and also I read this stat that 69%.

of Americans would quit their job today. if they could afford to. >> Yep. I didn't realize that. >> like what they do. What do you think the single most. valuable skill. right now is that someone should focus. on learning? Well, technology of course. AI in particular. I've I can't imagine running my business. without it. I've just gotten on it six. months ago or so. You know, that's important, but I think. far more important for anyone thinking. of how.

they should spend their time. I think. when you pick a job, you shouldn't be. choosing what job you want, but you. should be looking for a good person to. work for. When you've got a great boss, it's far far more important than a great. job cuz the boss has got your back. He. pushes you ahead. He believes in you and. you have a heck of a fun time working. for him. But, most people choose a. position over the boss or the chances of. promotion over the boss. When you have a. good boss, you got the right thing in. your own corner. How do you know who is.

a good boss? Like what would you look. for? If you were going out and you're. not Well, obviously you're Barbara. Corcoran, so you're not going out. looking for a job, but I maybe. Well, maybe. Who knows? But, if you were. looking and assessing, you know, who do. I want to work for? What would you want. that boss, him or her to have in terms. of making them a good boss? I would say. the most important trait is have them. speak about who works with them. Who do. you have working for you now? Who's your. favorite person? What do you do with. them? You know, how long have they been.

here? Like. you're actually finding out if they're. working for the people versus the people. working for them which I think is really. the key to being a good boss is to work. for your people. You want someone who's. going to say he's got this guy got. promoted, blah blah blah. If you just. get a guy who wants you to do your job. and that's it and you don't prod him to. tell you about the people, you really. won't learn about his attitude toward. people and you don't know what you're. working for. What do you think the. difference is between somebody who's a.

boss versus somebody being a good. leader? Well, I guess a boss tells you what you. ought to be doing which is valuable. You. want to know what your job is. But, a leader inspires you and gets you. to believe in their dream and see things. the way they do. and makes you willing to climb up the. mountain behind them. I think being a leader is not easy. It. doesn't come to everybody. Yeah. But, I. think it has to be 100% genuine and you. have to be on the employee's side.

If they feel that, they'll follow you. anywhere. They really will. How can you be a good leader? Like for. somebody who's listening that wants to. be better in a leadership role or to. just be a good leader, what are some of. the things that you would tell them to. think about and practice? >> important thing is to speak genuinely. I. mean, you know when you're being conned. and bosses are great at conning you. But, if you're a great leader and you. speak genuinely as to why what you want. them to do is good for them, not for.

you, they'll listen to you and they'll. follow you. I think you have to put it. in their terms why it's good for them. because the. the good leader is always working for. their employees if they have their head. on straight. And that's how you get it done. What are. the characteristics. that would make you fire somebody? Like. you're out. >> Oh, only one thing. I don't mind. ineptitude. I don't even mind people who. aren't putting in the effort. I can. change that. I can inspire them and. change it, but I can't change a. complainer. If you're a complainer, I.

get rid of them. It's like a cancer in a. company. One complainer feeling sorry, oh poor me, needs oh for you. And it. it's contagious. It catches on and. becomes incestuous in the company. I. don't tolerate complainers. I got rid of. them as fast as I could cuz they were. dangerous and they were attacking my. people. I felt the negative attitude was. attacking my positive people, so I got. rid of them. And, you know, why does teamwork matter. so much? You've talked so much about. team. Why does teamwork matter and how. do you build trust with your team?

Because especially like if you think. back to building your real estate. company, people go between real estate companies. all the time. They get poached all the. time and it takes trust to stay. somewhere. >> Well, in the real estate business, there's tremendous turnover, roughly 60%. a year. I never had anyone leave unless. I fired them. They never wanted to. leave. They were having the most fun at. my company. They liked me more than any. other boss out there and they most. importantly liked each other. It was a. family. So, they stayed around. And how.

do you inspire that? By letting them. know at every turn along the way that. you're for them. I'm here to serve you. What do you need lately? How can I make. your job easier? What would you like to. be when you grow up? What do you want to. be promoted to? What do you want to do? I just had their viewpoint in my head. It didn't make a difference what I. thought. But what happened naturally was. they became ferocious and on my side. And besides which, you know what you. basically need a team because you can't. build a business without it. I've never.

seen anything without people building. So, you have to inspire your people. Well, I think people forget that. companies are actually people. It's made. up of the people that work there. >> easy to forget the higher you're up. It's very easy to forget. >> What is the most effective way, Barbara, to ask for a raise? Tell the person what you were hired for. with a list of what you did, what you. were hired for. Specific as specific as. you could be. If you have 30 items, put. it on the list. Walk in and show them. that list compared to the list you.

actually do. Cuz people are always hired. for less work than they're actually. given and you say, "I'm doing all these. other duties now, 20%. I'd like a. raise." And you name the amount. You. name the amount. Most girls don't name. the amount. Most girls don't ask for. raises. Men ask for raises, women don't. That's been my experience. In running. the Cockrum Group, we had a thousand. people, thousand twenty-five or so. working there. And I can tell you twice did a woman ask. me for a raise. Wow. >> years. Yet the men always ask for raises.

and told them how I told you how great. they were. And I had women that were. much better than the men. You just have. to get in there, make the appointment, show them what you're doing and ask for. a specific amount. And you can't fall. for the typical thing that big companies. say is there's no not in the budget. Someone's getting a raise, but it's not. you, but someone's getting a raise. You. know, one of the things that um. I always think about a lot too cuz I. think that's excellent advice to. document everything you're doing because. your boss has no clue and you're doing a. lot more than anybody realizes.

>> sorry for yourself over. >> Yes. And if you don't have a big list, you've no business going in asking for a. raise. >> No, I don't want to pay you more for the. same thing you did yesterday. >> less than what I'm actually expecting. you to do. But I also see people making. the mistake of doing one of these. Glassdoor searches and looking at. comparable positions in a company and. then coming in. Well, maybe. I want to see what you're doing. I want to actually see what you're doing. because if you've got evidence of all. the things that you're doing, now I know. what the value is.

>> the title, the title. >> You don't want to walk in and quote the. average price that people are being paid. for your position. That's what you mean. by that. >> Yes. Yes. If you I'm sure you must get asked this. question a million times, which is I. have no money, I have no connections, but I want to start a business. Where do you start? >> Start online. You don't even have to. have a product. You could have a drawing. of a product and sell it and make it. once you get orders. I mean, the world. is open to you. Everything is equal. today. When I started, you needed to.

have the right competition, the right. person supporting you, the right money, the right connections. Today, it's. really not worth anything. I hear more. people say, "How do I get the right. connections?" I'm like, "The right. connections is no such a thing." You. know, everybody you meet for me was a. connection. I talked to everybody, but. when I was talking to them, I really. wasn't talking to them. I was. interviewing them. I wonder what they. could do for me. I wonder what their. talent is. How could I use them? And then I would take them into my firm. and employ them in the best use of them.

I want to make sure that as you're. listening and watching, that you got. that amazing piece of wisdom that. Barbara just dropped. She basically. said, "Stop obsessing about. connections." Because every human being. you're talking to is a connection. You've got the best one on the internet, a connection to the whole world. >> Yes. But what I love that you said is. you're like, "When we were talking, I. wasn't talking. I was listening and I. was interviewing them." I'm interviewing. them from how could this person help me? Are they interesting? Are they not? Are. they a waste of time?

>> you now even though you think you're. interviewing me. Ooh. What are you. looking for? I'm going to hire you as my. assistant. >> [laughter]. >> I don't know if you can afford me. No, I'm just kidding. >> at all. >> You want to know something? I'd be a. horrible assistant. Yeah, you probably. would. >> No, I would be a horrible assistant. >> at all. Not my skill set. I'm terrible. with. >> can you talk. I can talk. >> I would send you out my sales force, you'd be number one. Probably. a doubt. >> Yeah, I would because I understand. >> the heat. It's a lot of heat in that. business. How so? You know, you get like 10 rejections for.

every one yes and then the most. important trait you have is not feeling. sorry for yourself. Or at least if you. feel sorry for yourself, give yourself. an hour and get back up. You know, my. best sales people had just as many leads. as the worst sales person. And the worst. sales person always kept in the house. for about a week feeling sorry for. themselves when they lost a good. customer. My best sales people would. lose customers all the time and dust off. and stand up and get back in the game.

And that wound up dividing the people. making three, four million dollars a. year from my average salesman at the. time who was making 60, 62,000 dollars a. year. Yeah, I think in life there's a. there's kind of two different types of. people. There's the kind of person who. looks who gets, you know, in sales you. get dealt a hand cuz here's your leads, here's your here's your like whatever, your region, your this, your that. And so you get handed. cards. And there are people that either. about their cards and blame their lack.

of results on the cards that they're. holding. Boss isn't being fair. Yes, boss isn't fair. These are bad leads, blah blah blah blah blah. And then there. are people that realize it's how you. play the game. And if the cards suck, you got to move through them fast so you. can get another hand. >> or leave and go somewhere else. >> Yes. Yes. But you're in control. You're in control. versus the boss in control. That's what. fools people. People think when they're. working for someone that is their. definition of their opportunity. Their. real opportunity is in their own chest. They could leave that day if they chose.

You know, one other question I had cuz I. I hear this a lot especially with people. to want to start a business or somebody. that's trying to reinvent themselves and. they're like, "I really want to do. something, but trying to come up with an. idea. I'm trying to think of a problem. I'm trying to think of a of a product. that's not out there. Trying to. If you could give somebody advice about. how to think about the idea itself, what is the way to generate ideas around. a business to start? >> I think you can do anything you do in. your day-to-day life. Stop, examine.

everything that's happening and think, "Is there a better way to do this?" Not. just by yourself, but what other people. are doing. If you're at a local store. and it's taking too long to check out. the on the cash register or if you you. know, whatever you're you're. encountering in your daily life, just. look at it and say, "How can I do that. better?" And within that are great. products. All the great products are. tracking a better ways of doing the same. old, same old. Even it's just making a. pizza pie with a new pizza box. I mean,

as ridiculous as it is, I invested in it. because it was a better way of. delivering pizza. You know, that kid, that's all his only idea and that's what. he ran on Shark Tank with and that's why. he's built a business business just. making pizza boxes. But he was trying to. solve a problem better than the last. guy. And that's always where you find. your solution to a new business. So, Barbara, what do you think the worst. advice is that you could give somebody. starting a business? Oh, the worst advice is the same advice. my mother gave me. And yet my mother. usually gave me great advice. She told.

me when I was a waitress, when I. announced I was starting my own business. with Ray Simone, she said, "Why don't. you hold on to your job? You change so. often. You need a resume. Build up your. resume and if you still feel that way in. a year, go out into business, but you. should have a good resume." She was. preparing me for a mundane job, actually. She didn't know it, but that's. what she was aiming at. You know, I. ignored her and started my business, you. know? It's so sad. I meet so many. entrepreneurs that plan and plan their.

business for months. And the best time to do is the second. you have the thought. And the minute you. get out in the field, you find out. what's wrong with your plan and change. everything. But you don't have to get it. right, you just have to get it going. And my mother did not understand that. mantra. She thought I should wait a. while. Boy, if I had waited a while, I. would have thought of five reasons not. to do it. But I didn't wait, I jumped. right off and did the business and I was. successful from the beginning. And what. would you say is like the best advice. you can give to somebody that is. starting a business? Get going. I give.

that advice all the time. Even with a. half-baked plan, I say get going because. I know when you're in the field, you. find out the real plan, what's going to. work and what's wrong with your idea and. what's wrong with you and everything. else that comes out because it's the. real world. You can't plan things. I. think business plans are so overrated. My God. But to plan from afar and think. I've got to get it right before I jump. out, forget it. It just never happens. You think of reasons why not to do it. and you've wasted all that valuable.

time. You know, one of the things you. said earlier is so true and it's. brilliant, which is with all the. technology and the internet today, you. don't even have to truly quote start the. business. >> Yes. >> You can create a prototype that's even. built by AI. You can create a waitlist. You can. And so somebody [clears throat]. comes to you with an idea, they say. we've got a hundred thousand people that. have signed up for the waitlist to be. notified when the product is about to. drop. That waitlist demonstrates that. people are interested in the offering, whether it's a service or it's a.

product. And so. that was not even possible a couple. decades ago. >> all. What really happens on Shark Tank. is entrepreneurs will come in once in a. while with nothing more than a prototype. and they'll pitch how great it's going. to be. They have no proof of sales. They. don't know who they're going to sell it. to. They don't know what they're going. to do with it. But they believe in it. And if I believe in the person, I'll buy. in. Now, once they're on Shark Tank, people call in to order. They go on the. line and they order thousands of copies. of whatever they said. They don't even.

have it, but people will wait. They say, "Oh, I'm sorry. We've had overwhelming. response. We'll have it ready in 3. months." And then that's exactly when. they build the product and their. business has started. Late, you might. say, but they had the courage to get out. there with a prototype or a drawing or. something like that and people believed. in it. And that's a great barometer that. they're going to be successful right. from the get-go. How did you become a. judge judge on Shark Tank? Well, I was. hired and then fired before I had a. chance. >> Wait, what do you mean? Why did they. fire you? Well, they fired me because.

they landed on another woman. They said. they preferred her after I signed the. contract, which I reminded them and they. said, "Yes, but we didn't sign it." I. had already told all my friends I'm. going to Hollywood. I was so. embarrassed. I bought two new outfits, new luggage. There I was going to. Hollywood and it was canceled. So I. suggested to the producer that all my. good luck came after rejection and I. considered his rejection a lucky charm. and [snorts] I wrote a short terse email. to him and suggested he invite me out.

with her. and compete for the seat and that's. exactly what he did, thank God. >> me. >> Really, I turned my good fortune around. by doing what I did best, what I always. do best, getting back up, taking another. swing. Just took another swing. Do you. know what? The first day on Shark Tank, my producer said, "You know, we rejected. 42 men that wanted the position in the. other seats." I said, "You're kidding.". He said, "Not one wrote to me.". Not one wrote to me objecting to the. rejection. I These are successful.

millionaires, billionaires. That's. amazing that they didn't. You know what. I find interesting is so many people are. not willing to ask for what they want. And that's one thing about you. You do ask for what you want. >> learned. Not easily. Not easily. Women have a hard time. asking for anything. You know, what. happens I find. you could want to climb a mountain with. your team. When the men are halfway up, they'll say, "I'm the king of the. mountain." And they'll brag about it. Women will climb all the way up, set up. the tent, make sure the kids are fed, everybody's.

happy and say, "I had all the help of my. team to get here." Women don't take. credit. They don't ask for help. They. are shy. What a waste. Open your mouth. My God, opening your mouth gets got me. everything I got. Without opening my. mouth, I would have nothing. How many. seasons have you been on Shark Tank? Oh, a thousand. Like 18 something, [laughter] whatever. How From the. beginning. So. I would love to have you kind of put us. right at the scene because every single.

pitch is a founder Yes. and an idea and. yeah, you got a sales story or not. >> Yes. >> But when you're sitting there as an. investor and a judge, >> Yes. >> what are you evaluating? >> I'm just evaluating the entrepreneur. I. couldn't give a damn about the picture. of the business that they're painting. >> Really? Usually very often the numbers. are exaggerated. Everything, you know, you you're getting a sales pitch. I'm. looking at that entrepreneur and saying, "Do I believe them?" And in most. instances, I'm not believing the sales. pitch. But now I'm looking at the person.

and focusing on the person as to whether. they're capable entrepreneur. And what I. look for is something they've done in. their life that was hazardous. Something. they did in their life that they failed. miserably. They have a father who was. drinking, a mother who damned them to. hell. Something they have to prove. And. if I find that fire in them, they might. not have anything but that, but I buy in. because they will always be successful. They want to get even. They haven't had. a chance. They want to get even and that. burns so deep that I believe in them and.

they're great partners because when the. business is sold, they're so. appreciative of their success, their. dream come true, that's so thankful. And. it's so satisfying for me to see that. full circle of success. When you are listening to a pitch, what is the difference between somebody. that has that fire in their belly and. they're really confident versus somebody. that is so overbearing? Well, one is do. you want to spend any time with them? With When someone's overbearing, that's. the last thing I need in my life.

They're out right away. I won't say I'm. out right away. I have to stay in the. show. But you know, I have a a simple. test I do many times on Shark Tank. When. I'm not sure about the person, I think, "Would I put my baby in their arms and. could I come back and find my baby in. good shape?" And that's what I test. I. think, "Yeah, I would trust them." So. they become my partner. I make a bid. >> an excellent way to judge anybody. Well, it sizes everything up. How do you know. if you're built. to have your own business versus.

being somebody that should just work for. somebody else and be great at building a. career inside somebody else's company? >> it's a real dividing line. I think. someone in their own business loves. risk. They're not afraid of the risk, whether it be money, people, what they. do with their day, their ideas that they. have. They're not afraid of risk. It. turns them on. It's kind of like a trait. in their personality. And I think. someone who's good in business has a. good time getting back up. It's almost. like a jack-in-the-box. If you're the. type that says, "Hit me again. I'm a.

jerk. Hit me again." Chances are you. should be an entrepreneur. But if you're. not enjoying risk and you can't take a. hit, you're better off working for. somebody else. It's hard to develop that. skill in you if you don't have it. I. think you either have it or not. >> Yeah, I I do agree with you on that. I. do. That's what I'm trying to size up on. Shark Tank all the time. Do people have. those two skills? How do you figure that. out? >> I ask them. You know, we have an hour. and a half on Shark Tank. Like. >> Really? That's how long the pitch is? >> It's 8 minutes at home, but it's an hour. and a half on Shark Tank in real time.

Wow. So we get a chance to ask them all. kinds of questions that don't make good. TV, but are very good for us as. investors. And I ask, "What did you do. before? What did you think about that. today?" Oh, how did you feel about that. failure? What did you do after that? So. I'm trying to find someone who's strong, who's capable of running a business and. someone who put all their bets on their. business and they lost. What do I care? That's a good sign. They're willing to. put all their bet on one business and. they lost. I love it. But a guy who's. telling me he's going to go back to mom. and pop and get family and friends.

financing again and he's going to change. direction, means they're going to lose. your money again. I hate that kind of. stuff. I never invest in rich kids. I. always invest in poor people on Shark. Tank because they have a burn in their. belly and something to prove and they're. my kind of people and I want to give. them the opportunity that I was given. I. mean, the one ticket that they might. have their dream come true and I can. make it happen is much more exciting. than putting myself in line with the. rich parents who funded the first. business. Forget it. What are some of your favorite things.

that you've invested in? My favorite entrepreneurs and it's. always about the entrepreneurs, not the. businesses. I almost forget at times. what business they're in even though I'm. helping them all the time. Is the. Cousins Maine Lobster. I love those guys. cuz the day they came on Shark Tank, they lied to me and I loved them for the. lie. What did they lie? They told me. what their sales were per month, but. they never told me they were only in. business for a week. I thought I was. buying into a big business. No, I was. not. It was just one little lobster. truck and they had been only open one.

weekend. But they had taken all the. questions from Shark Tank for 3 years. and they'd practiced answering them and. they were slick. They could sell. I. loved them and had to buy them. What is. your 3-month rule? After 3 months when I close on a deal on. Shark Tank, I invite the entrepreneur. into my office. and we review where he's going to go. with the business. That's always the. time when something goes wrong. The. prototype didn't come in right. The. order was promised that wasn't. delivered. Something goes wrong. So I.

just sit there and ask, "What do you. think about what went wrong?" And the. people who blame somebody else, I drop. I mean, I they still have my money, but. I take their picture off the wall or I. turn it upside down more often. But the people who take it in the chest. and take the blame that they should have. thought of this or they should have. anticipated and they I know they're. going to be successful because those are. the people who are always successful. The people are honest and say, "I'm in. charge. I should have been in charge of. this and I'm taking the blame.". I agree.

Let's talk about preparation because you. and I are both people that will outwork. anybody. Preparation, preparation, preparation. Why is that such an. underrated. habit and skill to understand. that over-preparing. is a. key to being successful? Do you know why. I think? When you over-prepare, you. don't realize it, but you're building. your confidence. And when you build your.

confidence, you come across more. naturally, more believably. and you usually get the order. I've. over-prepared for everything in my life. I remember going and speaking with the. Corcoran Group agents at junctures along. the way. where I had cold sores over both my lips. cuz I was so nervous preparing for 2. weeks for. a 1-hour presentation. >> To people who work for you. Yes, they. did. They were going to accept whatever. I said, but I wanted to impress them. I. wanted them to be motivated. How will I. do it? Will I say it this way, that way?

I had to go on vacation right after the. sales meeting or what? I would have had. a heart attack. But I over-prepared so I could stand up. there with confidence. And did I come. across as confident? You betcha. Did I. cover all the millions of points I. wanted to cover? No. Did I motivate them. motivate everybody there? Yes, I did. Because I was confident, they wanted to. be me. And you were confident because. you prepared. And I think it's such an. important story because. here these are people that work for you. Yeah. And you're not winging it. You're.

preparing because it matters to you. And. you want to do a good job. Well, the. more you know people, the more difficult. it is to impress them because you take. it more personally. You know, one of the. things I'm curious about is, you know, having such a big public career and. being somebody who's so competitive and. entrepreneurial, how have you been able to have. successful romantic relationships, marriage, when you're out in the world? This is something a lot of a lot of. women navigate these days. Like how do.

you balance Barbara out there in the. world versus Barbara the mom and Barbara. the wife? Honestly, it's probably the. largest challenge to a successful one. Now, I married Bill in a second marriage. and he was the right husband. Bill is. Bill. He's not going to change whether. he's talking to a pauper or a pope. Bill. is Bill. And when I got really heady at. times, he would squeeze my head in and. tell me to keep it in. Don't get too. confident. So, I loved him for that. But the thing that worked the best out.

of everything I tried was getting a. separate bedroom, honestly, and getting. a separate bed from Bill. Cuz I would. invite him in and it added the romance. into the marriage. And that's really the. best advice I could give. It's really hard to be powerful and have. a man who's not demasculated. You have. to pick the right guy. It's so true. >> my my husband, Bill, would call me and. pretend he was a New York Times reporter. if he wanted to speak with me. I so. expertly separated business from home. You wouldn't dare call me when I'm.

working. And my kids didn't dare call me. unless they were dying, and then I would. hear from my don't think they ever died. But like was at home, people at work. would never call me at home. It's my. family time. So, separating the two. pieces was the only way I survived, and. I didn't do a great job of it, but I did. the best job I could. I'd love to talk a little bit more about. your just insights about women and. success. Mhm. And being successful cuz. there is a lot of pressure. There is.

bias in the workplace. But you have. always seemed to just pick yourself up, shake it off, and plow forward. regardless of what was going on around. you. You built one of the most. successful real estate businesses in a. male-dominated business. How do you. want women to think about both the very. real things that are against us in terms. of the way that business is structured, but the opportunity that that creates. and what kind of mindset you need to. have? Well, you know, there's always. real things against you, but I did it a.

little differently than most. I never. thought of myself as a woman. Not a. single day did I think of myself as a. woman. I thought of myself as a. competitor, just like a man. I was a. competitor and I was going to put you. under the table without a doubt by the. time I finished. All right? So, not. having that liability or thinking I was. weak or at a disadvantage of some kind. or another was an advantage to me. You. know, I'll say that when we started this. podcast, I had my own goal. I'm like, okay, I want to be the number one-ranked.

female podcaster in the world. But what. happened is a friend of mine said, "Well, why female? Why not just number one?". Ooh. And then I was like. >> Actually, yeah, why am I putting myself. in a category? Why am I not just saying, "No, I'm going. to go out and be number one" which I'm. proud to say we were for 81 days last. year. >> Good for you. And I. just you limit yourself in that regard.

And I see so many women I was doing it. to myself doing that. Like I'm only just. a mom or I'm only going to be able to. compete against women or I'm only. limited to this amount of success. because I'm thinking about it in a. certain way. Yeah. How does thinking. about you just going out and competing. It freed me. Because when the boys would ignore me, I. could have done two things. I could have. said, "Oh, they're not being respectful. cuz I'm a female and there's old men in.

this room.". That would only make me weak. I take my. chips and go home. But when I stood. there and said, "You'll be sorry. I'm. going to outcompete you and I'm going to. take your bacon." That was a whole. different I conducted myself. differently. I acted differently. Imagine how different it would have been. if I said, "Treat me with disrespect cuz. I'm a woman. That's unfair. How am I. going to change that?". But I'm a competitor. I have the ability. to get even. And I did get even. Not I. make it sound like a vicious thing. It's. just I didn't want to be put down or.

curtailed against what I was capable of. So, the minute they wrote me up, boy, that fired me up. Is that what gave you. the confidence to go to keep going cuz. you you literally started with a. thousand dollars and built a company. that you sold for what, 66 million. dollars? Yes, 66. >> That's a lot of money. >> Cash. I wanted the cash in my pocket. >> That's a lot of cash. >> Yeah, it sat in the bank for 3 years. I. didn't spend a dime. Not even on a coat? No, I already had. the coats. By then I was a good coat. person. So, was it that all show you.

that gave you the fire and the. confidence cuz I think so many people. don't have the ooh to keep going? Well, it egged me on because each. look at me or each demeaning way they. treated me. was so insulting. I wanted to get even. cuz I was vicious and competitive by. nature. But that didn't give me the confidence. to go on. The confidence that gave me. was everything I tried. Even if I tried. 10 things, five would be incredible. And they had never thought of them, and. they would look and say, "How silly".

until it was working. Then they all. imitated me, and they were too late. By. [snorts] the time they imitated my. Corcoran Report which I was publishing. for 4 years and collecting press on it. and becoming the sweetheart of the New. York press, they started all publishing reports. What a joke. The space was taken not by. a girl, but by a competitor, myself. And. that's just the way I saw myself. I. chose not to see myself as a woman ever. Well, you know, as soon as I see people. imitating me, that's when I know it's. time to pivot. Yes, you're absolutely.

right, which is going to happen sooner. than It's already happening. >> In fact, I'm going to start a podcast. for women only. Well, I'll tell you. what. I would love to have you be a. competitor. And here's the other thing. I will teach you everything that we do. Because I know that even if you have the. formula, you still have to do it. And. it's very difficult. And nobody's going. to do it the same way you do even if. they have the formula. And I find people. to be very, very stingy with sharing. information. And the what I've learned.

about business is the more generous I am. with what we're doing, what's working, the. big mistakes that we've made, the bigger. our business is. It's not in hiding. things and being like scarce about. things. It's almost like that philosophy. that there's blocks in New York City. where there's lots of restaurants and. they're all successful because more. restaurants bring more customers for. everybody. Yes. >> Do you have a similar philosophy about. >> happened to me as a young salesman that. I never forgot. I wanted to start a.

marketing company, so I went in disguise. with a wig on. to a competitor's office which is owned. by a woman, On-Site Marketing Company, for the first time owned by a woman. And. I got copies of all of her forms. And I. actually stole them. And I went back to. my office and I was fully equipped to. start and go in competition. And she. called me on the phone in the morning. I. died. She said, "I understand you were. in my office yesterday. Come over and. make an appointment. I'll show you. everything I know." She was so gracious. I was so ashamed of myself. And I.

realized what a mistake that was. Generous people who give it away have no. threat. They know they're the best. They're always the people who give it. away. So, I've always been trying to be. gracious to imitate that one-time. experience that I had. I hadn't thought. about the fact that when you're. generous, it's because you have. confidence in what you're doing, so. you're not threatened by what other. people are doing. For somebody that's. feeling like they're too old, I mean, you uh you know, you're a mom at 46. You. found the most success in your career.

Well, actually in your 50s, 60s, 70s, like and you're continuing you're not. slowing down. >> not. No. What gave you the courage? And what how can somebody else find the. courage if they're at a point in where. their life where they're hearing you? Cuz I know a lot of daughters and sons. are going to be listening to this, sending this to mom, saying, "Hey mom, 50 or 60 years old, you're not old. Get. going. Listen to Barbara." Like how do. you muster up. the permission or the courage to go for.

something when you've already always. pushed yourself into a certain role, you. know? You know, I think the times when I. would stop or hesitated about trying. something new, it was because I was afraid of failing. And I was afraid of a as life went on, more of a public failure. I didn't want. to get out there and let everybody see. me fail. And you can't help when you're. scared to think you're going to fail. It. might not be real, but you think you're. going to fail. What I learned as a young. woman, nobody was watching and nobody. gave a damn. They admired me for trying.

So, all you want to do is get the. brownie points for trying, getting out. there and getting going. Your kids. aren't going to love you less. Your. friends aren't going to say, "Oh, poor. her." They're going to admire you for. it, even if you fall flat on your face. But, I think you really just have to get. out there. I mean, so many people just. don't get out there when they have a. dream of what they want to do. Just get. out there and you'll find all the. answers, usually. But, even if you fail, what's so bad about that? I remember I. used to ask myself constantly, "What. happens if I fail?" And I would say, "Well, I could always get the job as a.

waitress at the Fort Lee Diner again. I. was happy then." That got me to do a lot. of stuff in the early years cuz I knew I. could be a waitress again. I was a great. waitress. I could go back there. So, I don't really think there's much to. be afraid of. The worst that happens is. you go home. Big deal. You're back where. you were. You lost nothing, really. And. if you think you lose face, you don't. People admire you for trying things. They just do. They don't hold a failure. against you. You hold it against yourself, though. It's so true. What a waste of time. What.

a waste of a life. What a waste of a. life. Isn't that true? Yes. >> What are you most excited about right. now, going forward? What I'll do for my next business. I. feel like there's a next business in the. offing. I can feel it in my bones. And. as usual, I don't know what it is, but I. know it's going to show me the face. So, I'm looking around every corner. And I. feel something good every day. But, you. know that Maria song on West Side Story? That's how I feel, like something's. coming. So, something good. But, what it. is, I don't know. Oh, I love that. It's.

just an attitude about life. >> Well, it is what life is about. There's. always something around a corner if. you're curious enough to take a peek. Always something around the corner. You are so cool. Sometimes. Talk to my. husband, Bill. He wouldn't always agree. with you. Well, [laughter] neither would. my husband, perhaps. Oh, good. If you. had to distill down everything that you. have shared with us today. Oh, boy. >> And there is like one takeaway that you. think is the most important thing for.

the person who's been with us listening. to just take away from this. What would. it be? >> Always the same. You're much more. capable than you think you are. I don't. care who you are, who's listening. You're more capable than you think you. are. You just have to think that way and. find out what it is, really. I hate people wasting their life on what. they're not really liking. It's such It's sad. >> It It makes me It's why I do this. It's really why I do this, because I.

feel like the biggest thing that I'm. trying to. change is the discouragement that people. feel that makes them never. do or try anything that makes their life. better. Yes. I agree with you. That's. kind of like what I'm doing on Shark. Tank. Yes. Yes, same kind of thing. Barbara Corcoran, what are your parting. words? I think to waste a life is such a. shame. To have a dream about what you. may have been, what you could be, what you didn't. grab a hold of, and what you regret is.

such a waste of time. It's just a now. And just think about how many years you. have left to be the new you. The new you. might say, "I could never do that.". Well, you're mistaken. You can do it. If. I, from New Jersey, a poor kid, could become the queen of real estate, that's perfect proof that you could. really become anything you want to be, anything. There's no barrier. Nobody's. in control of you but you. That's all. That sounds hokey, though, when you say. that, right? I don't think it does. >> Now, what? Okay, good. Cuz I do feel.

that way, but it sounds like. >> you Why do you feel it sounds hokey? >> Because I feel I've heard it all before, and it sounds like rah-rah. I'm not. doing a rah-rah. I'm doing a reality. check on what really is possible and. what's not. And because I see it as. real, it hurts me so much when people. don't really accomplish it for. themselves when they desire it. Yes. >> It just seems wrong. It just seems wrong. that they should have a life that's. fulfilling and have a life that's. exactly the way they want it to be. And. I really do believe people could just.

make their life what they want. I do, too. And I I Like I don't think it's. hokey at all. I think it's the most. important thing you could say. And the. reason why is you and I have done it. Yes, so we have the right to say it, I. guess. And we also know how it's a. matter of stepping through something. that you've erected in front of your. ability Okay, good. >> to just start trying and to have the. clarity to say, "You know what? I'm. tired of the way my life feels. >> Mhm. I want it to be like this, and I'm.

going to just wake up every day and do. something to walk toward that until I. freaking get there." And you're right. about doing something to walk toward it. Most people find it insurmountable, like, "How could I ever get to be?" It's. not that. It's the first baby step is. everything that counts. And then the. next baby step, and the next baby step. It's believing a step at a time. It just. never comes overnight, you know? It. never does. And what I also love that. you said over and over is you can always. go back to where you are. You could. always go back.

>> What's the worst that could happen? If. you could do that, you can do it. Absolutely. The worst. that could happen is that you never. tried. >> Yeah. Barbara Corcoran. Thank you so. much. >> you. You're the best. >> you back. >> [laughter]. >> And I love you. I love you for making. the time to listen to something that can. help you see a bigger possibility for. your life and help you achieve the. dreams that you have. I hope you really. took to heart what Barbara said. What a. waste of a life if you just sit back and. think about what you want. Take.

everything that you learned and get out. there, follow the rules that Barbara. taught you, and do it. And in case no. one else tells you, I wanted to be sure. to tell you as your friend that I love. you and I believe in you and I believe. in your ability to create a better life. And it would be a waste if you didn't. get out [music] there and try to create. a better life. I really hope you do. All. righty. I will be waiting for you in the. very next episode. I'm going to welcome. you in the moment you hit play. I'll see. [music] you there.

All righty. Thank you for watching all. the way to the end here on YouTube. I. really love being here with you. Thank. you for sharing [music] this episode. with everybody in your life who needs a. little Barbara Corcoran. And one more. thing, if that subscription light is lit. up, it means [music] you're not a. subscriber. So, here's my ask of you. Please hit subscribe. It's free, and it. is the best way to tell me and the team. here at the Mel Robbins podcast and. [music] Barbara Corcoran that you love. what we're doing here. And it helps me. achieve my goal that 50% of you who. watch the Mel Robbins podcast on YouTube. [music] are subscribers. And that way.

you don't miss a thing. So, thank you. for doing that for me. I really. appreciate it. All right. The next video. you're going to want to watch [music] is. this one, and I'll welcome you in the. moment you hit play.