Get Back on Track: Do THIS Before 2026 Ends to Take Control with Eric Thomas

In 52 days, everything could change. >> Today on the Mel Robbins [music]. podcast, the one, the only Dr. Eric. Thomas, >> you have [music] more control than you. think you have. >> For somebody who's feeling exhausted, [music] discouraged, they just want the. year to be over, what do you want to say. to that person? >> You are the greatest common denominator. Life is not about proving they're wrong. Life is about making things right for.

you. I'm daring somebody today to let. the best version of you take over. 52. days. Isn't that exciting? Let's go. [music]. >> Dr. Eric Thomas, welcome to the Mel. Robbins Podcast. >> Thank you for having me, Mel. How you. feeling? >> I feel fantastic because you're here. >> Thank you. And I feel the same way. because you're over there and I'm here. So, [laughter] thank you. Something.

magical is going to happen. >> Magical. Um, you know, you say that you. can change your life in 52 days. >> When this conversation airs, there will. be 52 days left this year. >> I would love to have you explain to the. person who is listening right now how. much could change about their life in 52. days. >> Everything could change in 52 days. Everything could change. And more. importantly, everything you want to. change can change in 52 days. You can.

end this year better than you've ever. ended a year. And you could start the. new year better than you started any. year. It's up to you. You have the. power. You literally have control. I'm. telling you, everything you want, everything you want to be, everything. you want to do can happen in 52 days. So, do me a huge favor. You got to. finish strong. All right. So, we got 52.

days to make the rest of our lives the. best of our lives. 52 days. ISN'T THAT. EXCITING? LET'S GO. I think it's really. exciting because even if you're. listening to this, you know, in the. future, you can take on, you're going to. teach us how to do this, a 52day. challenge. Now, tell me the origin of 52. days for you. >> This was a tough year for a lot of. people. >> Yeah. >> This was a tough year. You know, this. wasn't one of those years where, you. know, people just felt that they were.

their best self. They didn't feel, you. know, their community, the gas prices, the groceries. Like, this was just a. tough year. And you got to understand. I'm in Michigan. So Michigan is like. blue collar, you know? It this is blue. collar. It's like people rely on um the. industry. It just was a tough year. People weren't where they were used to. being. I said to myself, okay, you you. got to help them, you know? You got you. you got to give them hope, right? Because when people start to lose hope. and people start to lose faith, they.

become an uglier version of themselves. and they start behaving in a way that's. just not healthy and they can't get to. their expected outcomes. And so I was. just sitting there and I was just. praying. I was like, "Okay, okay, what. story can I tell?" And I remember my boy. Linton, he ran a prayer group. And in. the prayer group, he talked about. Nehemiah and how in that particular time. of that region there, the wall was torn. down for like a hundred and something. years, 140 years. And they rebuilt it in. 52 days. And I was like, yo, I need that. story right now because people have been.

going through it 365 days or however. many days they've been going through it. And I was like, yo, what can I say? And. you know what was so crazy? This is the. first time. And people said to me, "Eric, you have never done anything. before where you made it easy for us. Like, you've never done that." That they. was like, "This isn't you. Like, you're. the grind. You're the get up. Don't. sleep guy. This is the very first time. you ever told us. >> we're I'm not asking you to get to a. place you've never been. I'm just asking. you to get back to your best self.".

>> Like, whatever that was in 1990, 2001, 2003. like I just want you to get back. to the time where you woke up and you. were excited about life that you were. excited about your family, excited about. your your opportunity. And so I was. like, let's just get back to that and. and let's let's do it in 52 days. Let's. not try to do it in 7 days. Let's not. try to do it in 14 days. Let's do it. Let's do it in 52 days. Take our time. Whatever you can do, just do that. And. when I started telling people to do it. and I started to see people light up and. I started a hope coming back and a joy.

coming back, I was like, that's it. Don't focus on the 140 years where the. wall's been down. Let's focus one day at. a time that by the end of these 52 days, less than two months, we can feel good. again. And then once we feel good, then. we can go after once there's hope, then. we go. But let's not try to tackle. everything one time. Let's just get our. hope back. Let's get our dream back. Let's get clarity back. Let's get a. sense of direction back. Well, you know, I'm so excited to talk to you because. you are one of the most inspiring.

and empowering. You are like human. rocket fuel. >> and it's infectious. >> And when I thought about when this. episode was going to release, >> I looked at the calendar and I was like, "Wow, when we're dropping this episode, there's 52 days left in the year.". >> Wow. And so our amazing producer Amy who. is working on this episode. Yeah. Amazing Amy called you and said, "Okay, I want to get you in the mindset, Dr. Thomas,

>> that there's going to be 52 days left in. the year when this episode goes live.". And you're like, "Wait a minute. 52. Are. you kidding me with the 52?" But 52 has. a personal meaning for you. So explain. why 52 matters. >> Well, first of all, 52 matters because I. just did it. >> What do you mean you just did it? I just. went through a 52day. personal challenge. Now, I'll be honest. I did a 52-day challenge with everybody. in my ecosystem. But before. >> I asked them to do 52, I did 52. And I.

did 52 because I looked at my life and I. said, "Of the five pillars, four of them. you're dominating, but one you suck in, one you you you've lost, one is. embarrassing." And so I said, "E, you. got to take the principles from the. other four and you got to bring that you. got to bring that fifth one up." And so. for 52 days, mine was health. Now, we'll. talk about weight, but it really wasn't. about losing 30 lbs. It was about.

pre-diabetes. It was about. prehypertension. It was about mild sleep. apnea. It was like, e, where how could. this happen to you? How did you get. here? here. I woke up one day, Melon's. like ET like how did you get here? You. wouldn't think Eric come on the hip-hop. preacher. And so it was an area where I. was failing, where I was losing and I. shouldn't be losing. And I was like, you. got to do something about it. And I. decided before I brought the community. in, I decided that Eric, you need to do.

it first to see if it really works. So, let's go right to what happened because. you and your wife Dee had something to. do with this, but I want you to share. for the person listening kind of that. moment where you're like, "Oh my god, like this weight's embarrassing.". >> I started with a goal that I was going. to lose 20 something pounds and I was. going to get well, it was about 2530 and. I was like, "I got to get back to that. like 215." And it was funny. I was the. book uh Greatness is Upon You that I I. wrote. I looked at the book and I looked.

at that guy and I was like, I like the. weight that that guy I like the size of. that guy. But I hadn't been him in four. or five years and I just kept saying to. myself, he's you're never going to get. back to that. You're never going to get. back to that. And one day I woke up this. year and I said, you know what? You owe. it to yourself to get back. And here's. the cool thing about the 52 days. I. wasn't trying to do something that I had. never done before. I was just trying to. get back to the best that I've ever been. before. that that and and that was.

different for me because before it was. like you know you work hard and grind. and I was like no e don't do that just. get back to the best version you've ever. been and that's like 215 pounds and so I. made a commitment to myself in 52 days. I'm going to make the sacrifice I'm. going to make the commit and I'm going. to get back to that guy and I remember. the first 10 days u my boy is like get. on the scale I said I'm not he said get. on the scale I said no he said why would. you get on the scale I said, "Cuz I. don't want to see if it's working or.

not. I I because if I get on the scale. and I'm not where I want to be, I'm I'm. going to stop. I'm going to be. discouraged. I'm going to quit." He. said, "No, get on the scale." And I got. on the scale and I had only lost three. lbs in like 10 days, 14 days. And it was. like, "No, no, no, no, no. E, you can do. it, but whatever you're doing is not. working." And I'm telling you, I changed. my diet. I changed my mindset. I got on. the treadmill. I was doing resistance. I. was in the sauna. and in 52 days. And it.

was so funny, man. I remember the the. the uh the suit that I wore when me and. DD did our 21st year uh vow renewal. And. I put it on, couldn't fit it, couldn't. put it on, couldn't fit. Every day I put. on and then one day I could button it. and then one day I could button it with. a shirt on and then one day it fit and. then one day it had room. So I'm saying. in 52 days if you make the commitment, you can change. And so for me, it wasn't. about anything but getting back to my. best self. So I did it. I lost the. weight. I put the clothes back on. I.

started grabbing outfits that I couldn't. wear in three or four years. And it just. felt so good to make a commitment to. myself and keep it. I've done it before. I've made a promise to myself before. that I didn't keep. This was the first. time that I made the promise and I kept. the promise. I don't know if it was the. weight or if it was the promise I kept. to myself, but in 52 days, I got back in. that large when you want to succeed as. bad as you want to breathe shirt. And it. felt phenomenal. And let me tell you. what was the most exciting thing,

rewarding thing about the 52 days. My. mother called me every day and was like, "Son, I'm doing the 52-day challenge.". And my mother was having this like. overthinking thing. You know, my mother. was in a funk. You know, my mother. wasn't like her best self. like the. mother that I knew growing up working at. Ford and you know doing her thing and. and my mom called me and was like son I. got it son she like had an aha moment. and so for me it was like yo I changed. in the 52 days but my mom like my mom. knows me inside and out like it's.

nothing I can say to my mom that's going. to be like oh that's inspirational oh. that's I've never heard you say that. before but the 52 days she says son you. gave me a north star like I I for. whatever reason I retired and I didn't. have a north star I I I wasn't waking up. with a sense of purpose I I didn't I My. mom said I lost my identity and these 52. days gave me something to wake up for, something to go get, something to go to. bed at night for. And not only can we. end strong, we can actually start 2027.

in a way that we've never started a year. before. >> That's so true. And there are seven. >> 52 day blocks in a year. >> Now, stop and think about how crazy that. is because there's seven days in a week. >> There's 52 weeks in a year. >> Yes. And there's seven of those blocks. in the year. So no matter when you're. hearing this, >> there is an opportunity for you to. experience a whole different version of. you. >> in a matter of 52 days. >> Yeah. And so I'm giving you something.

that I physically did that my mother. did. And I know if you do the 52 days, you're going to end this year off. feeling so good about yourself. And when. you feel good ending a year, you're. gonna go into the next year in a way. you've never gone into a year before. >> We are gonna unpack. Yeah. Specifically. how to set up the 52 days. >> for sure. But where I really want to. hover for just a minute with you because. you said something that struck me. So. for the person that's feeling. overwhelmed and exhausted because how.

could you not with the state of the. world? How could you not with the what's. going on in your neighborhood? How could. you not given that you probably have a. family member that's struggling? You. might be struggling financially or maybe. you're just worried about things. There's so much out of people's control. For somebody who's feeling exhausted, discouraged, they just want the year to. be over. >> What do you want to say to that person. about how they're going to feel by the. time we end this conversation? >> You know, I I want to say to them, you have more control than you think you.

have. And here here's okay so Mel here's. the crazy part about the 52. The crazy. part about the 52 is for the first time. in my life I saw while you've lost. control in this area. >> Okay. >> There are other areas you have control. in. Borrow from the areas that you are. in control. There were areas in my life. that I had not lost control and I needed. to borrow. >> from the strategies and the techniques.

and the skills I was using in areas that. was working and bring it over. I'm going. to tell you one thing male that that. changed everything for me in terms of. like you said it wasn't about health. It. was how did I lose control when I was in. my 20s? I I wasn't going to the doctor. and they were saying that in my 30s. This is new to me. I've never been to. the doctor before and the doctor told me. that, you know, I I had high blood. pressure and that I could stroke out. Like, I'd never heard I'd never heard. that language before. And so, at first. it was overwhelming until I said to. myself, from a speaking standpoint,

Eric, you have control. You're traveling. the world. You I was outside the hotel. and people were driving around stopping. ET, what are you doing on the streets? I. said, I'm here to see mail. [laughter]. How about I GOT A PODCAST? AND SO, but. what I realized was in my health, I was. not intentional and deliberate. >> I did not have DD's on my schedule. I. know exactly what time Dee and I are. going to meet every day. I know for how. long we're going to meet. I know how to. get an A from DD. I know what a B is. I. know what failing is like. Like I I I.

know. But in my health, I never had. working out on the schedule. I never had. what are you eating? I never measured. what I would eat when I I it didn't m I. so so so for me it was no this is going. to be easy borrow from an area where. you're already great where you're. already conquering and just bring those. same skill sets into a place where. you've lost control and when I start. scheduling when I stop compromising when. I stop negotiating I said look you going. to work out every single day it's not a.

it's not it's not optional like you're. going to get up and you're going to get. up at 3:00 4:00 in the morning and. you're going to go get on the treadmill. and you're going to do resistance That. sounds terrible. >> And and you're going to sit in the sauna. like you're going to do that and it's. non it's non-negotiable. The same way. you watch football every Sunday, the. same way you sit down and watch Monday. Night Football, you're going to take. your health and you're going to put it. in a category and and you're going to. watch it and you're going to measure it. and then you're going to call your best. friends and you're going to tell them, "Hey, I'm working out today at this. time. Call me to see if I really worked.

out. I'm gonna send you pictures. And. once I once I started doing it, I got. control back. And no, it wasn't visible. until maybe the 48th day. But I got. control back, male, as soon as I said. this is what I'm going to do. I'm not. taking no for an answer. And I'm going. to conquer in this way. And I'm so. excited because I use the same skills. that I was using to win over here. I put. them where I was losing. And guess what? 52 days later, I start winning again. Well, and you can use the skills of.

getting your kids to daycare on time. >> Absolutely. >> In order to be on time for yourself. You. can, you know, use the skills of taking. care of everybody else to start learning. how to take care of yourself. >> And we were going to get to that, but. because the person who's listening may. not know the gift, >> yes, >> that is Dr. Eric Thomas. >> Yes. When you talk about the fact that. you can change your life with a. decision, that you can change who you. are, you really mean it. >> And one of the reasons why you mean it.

is because you yourself have been. homeless. You yourself have been. discouraged. You yourself have been in a. place in life where there's every reason. in the world to either quit or to say, "I've screwed this up so much there's no. turning back." up. >> Can you put us at the moment that. changed your life? >> So, I'm going sound like a weirdo when I. say homelessness [snorts]. was the best thing that ever happened to. me. >> What do you mean by that? >> What I mean by that is before homeless,

everybody else was the reason why my. life was messed up. Like I had mom like. mom was like number one. It's like, "Ma, I can't read. I can't write. Mom, uh um. you know, I'm getting in trouble with. the law. Mom, everything that's going. wrong in my life is because you got. pregnant as a teenager. Everything. Number two was my biological father. I. had him right under mom. He probably was. number one, but because he wasn't. around, I didn't get to blame him as. much. But I got to just mom throw darts. at mom. Make every excuse, everything.

that ever gone wrong. Mom, mom, mom, dad, dad, dad. And and and male, this is. crazy. I was probably 16, maybe. I could. have been 17 cuz I was working at. McDonald's on Fin in Wyoming in Detroit. And uh we got pulled over by the police. It was probably about four or five. o'clock in the morning. My boy had. stolen well I don't know if you want to. call it steal, but he was into some. activities where the person didn't pay. and so he kept their vehicle and so I'm. in the car with him and um we got pulled.

over by the police. I tried to explain. to the police I had nothing to do with. any of this, nothing to do with the. stuff in the car, nothing to do with the. stolen car. Like I got on a McDonald. outfit. What do you He didn't believe. me. So, we went to jail and it was in. jail. I was by myself and it hit me, male, your mom's not in prison or in. jail. Your dad's not in jail. Your mom's. somewhere going to work. Your dad's. somewhere in Chicago going to work. You're you're homeless and you're in. jail. And that was the day I realized my. mom doesn't know the police officer who.

pulled me over. The police officer. doesn't know my counselor who kicked me. out of school. The counselor doesn't. know my I could go. And I was like, "Eric, who's the common denominator?". And I said, "Eric Thomas is." And so. that was the first time I was by myself. And I couldn't point at my mom. And I. couldn't point at my dad. And I couldn't. point at where I was born. And I. couldn't point. And it was like, Eric, you know, everybody in the story, but. everybody in the story doesn't know each. other. Like you are the greatest common. denominator. And it was at that point.

that I realized where your focus goes, your energy flows. Your focus has been. on your mom. That's why your life hasn't. changed. Your focus has been on your. dad. That's why your life hasn't. changed. Eric, your focus now needs to. be on you. What are your strengths and. what are your limitations and how do you. fix them? Because again, man, you can. easily say, "I'm homeless because of. this." You could say every reason why. you're in the state you're in. It's not. going to get you out of the state. And I. was like, Eric, I don't want to be. homeless for the rest of my life. I.

don't want to be 30 homeless. I don't. want to be 30 broke. I don't want to be. 30 in this environment where somebody's. putting me in like you know what it. feels like to somebody put handcuffs on. you. You know what it's like for. somebody to put you in the back of a. car. You know what it's like to put. somebody put you in jail and you got to. eat the food and there's a toilet in the. middle. This is the first time in my. life I was like what did you do? How did. you get yourself in this mess? And I. heard something say the same guy that. got you in it can get you out of it. He's the same dude. You're okay. Don't. It's Don't be alarmed. Don't Don't fear.

the guy that got you in this. If his. focus changes from mom, dad to teacher, the school system, if his focus changes. to Eric Thomas, you can get yourself out. of this. And that was the day that I. said there's nothing I can do about. where I am, but if they let me go, and I. don't know what happened, but my boy. said he had nothing to do with the car. He had nothing to do with the substance. in here. I just picked him up from and. they let me go. And I love my mom cuz. they called my mom and my mom said, "I'm.

I'm definitely not bailing him out. I. don't go to work every day to bail him. out of jail. He's not he shouldn't even. be in a situation. He comes from a good. home. He shouldn't even be in it. I I. don't know what he's going to do, but. he's going to have to figure it out.". And they let me go two and a half, three. days later. And I walked out of there. with no cab fair, no bus fair, but I. walked out that day and I said, "Eric, you owe you. you owe you to get yourself. together and stop making these crazy. decisions and stop blaming and being a. victim and become a victor.

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>> So, let's unpack the blaming thing. So, where your focus goes, your energy. flows. And a lot of people are spending. a lot of time blaming, >> blaming the government, blaming the. their past, blaming this, blaming that. And look, there's lots of moments in. life where someone else or something. else is to blame and it's not fair. And. your point when you say you owe you. >> is what? >> So So. and and I'm just saying this cuz I know.

somebody's listening. You're like, "Eric, you don't know." And I don't. You're like, "You don't know what they. did to me." And I don't. I know what. they did to me. But here's the deal. if. they were intentionally and deliberately. trying to destroy me, I'm not going to. give them fuel. So, like, if that was. their whole point, like, we're gonna. destroy you. Like, we're going to make. sure you're not happy. We're going to. make sure you're not successful. If. that's what they were attempting to do, I'm not going to aid you in that. So,

you're absolutely right. There are. certain things that happened to me that. should not have happened to me. But at. the end of the day, I've got to do what. I need to do to make sure the story. doesn't end with me going to jail. The. story doesn't end with me being a high. school dropout. Yes, you're right. They. were wrong. But life is not about. proving they're wrong. Life is about. making things right for you. And so, I. could go on and on about who was wrong. and how I got in the predicament again. and whose fault it was. But at the end.

of the day, I want to hold a power. I. want to control my own life. And by. making better decisions, I went from GED. to PhD, from homeless to to owning real. estate. And so I'm saying to everybody. that's out there, you're right. Which. side do you want to look at? Do you want. to look at the side that they were. wrong? And guess what? You would be. totally right to say they were wrong. You have every right to say what they. did to you're right. I'm just saying. you're giving them the control when you. do that. And I want the power. I want.

the control. I made up in my mind that. is not going to be my reality. So do me. a favor. You're right. You could talk. about everything they did wrong or you. could look at your strengths and you. could look at your opportunities and you. could put all your energy in that and. you can sit somewhere different 52 days. from now, 52 weeks from now, 52 years. from now, you could be in a better. state. So for me, absolutely. They're. wrong, but I'm not going to focus on. their wrong. I'm going to focus on my. right. >> Well, you said something I want to make. sure we take a giant highlighter. >> Yeah. because you said even if somebody.

is treating you wrong, >> yeah, >> I am not going to aid you in that. >> Not going to aid you. >> And it sent just a chill down my spine. because I think about how much time I. wasted. being all upset and spending lots of. time, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Talking. about how they wronged me and this, that, and the other. And when you do. that, you are aiding them in the power.

that they have over you. And when you. instead just start where you are and you. say, "You owe you. From this point. forward, I can take responsibility and. make a decision that where I'm at right. now does not define where I'm going.". When when you're in a moment in your. life where there's so much out of your. control, what can you actually control? And where do you want the person who. feels out of control right now to focus? >> Yeah, I say perspective and decisions. I.

feel like those two. So, so I'm going to. be honest. before I made the change male to be to. be totally transparent. I didn't want to do the work. [laughter]. I'm guys, I I owe my mother such an. apology and you know, we talked. My mom. said to me, um, this this was probably. last year. We You know, you know how it. is, man. you you open up and you start, you know, you do this therapy and just. stuff comes out. My mom was like, "Yo, I. was so hurt.

>> how how you frame me. >> like the picture that you painted of me. with everybody." And you know what? I. did not want opportunities. I wanted. attention. >> I wanted an audience. >> I didn't want opportunities. I wanted. >> I I I didn't want to change. I didn't. want better. I just wanted an audience. I just I just wanted a group of people. to understand how much she hurt me. I. don't even know if she hurt me the way I. thought she hurt me. That's why I say. you got to change your perspective. But. I felt like she hurt me by not telling.

me who my biological father was. And I. just wanted everybody to be on my side. I didn't want to change. I didn't want. to grow. I just wanted everybody to say. she was wrong and you're right. And as. long as I was in that mental state, as. long as that was my aim, that was my. focus. Again, where your focus goes, your energy flows. So my focus was she. wronged me. My biological father, he. wronged me. So nothing changed in my. life. Nothing happened for me. No, actually it did. I got what I wanted. I. got attention. I didn't want growth. I.

didn't want change. I didn't want to be. better. I just wanted to say she did it. He did it. And if she didn't do it and. he didn't do it, I wouldn't be where I. am. And then when I was in in in in jail. and then homeless, homeless was. beautiful cuz homeless I got to spend. time alone. Here's the beautiful thing. about homeless. I couldn't say it was my. mother's fault anymore. Like, I finally. had my life in my hands and I kept. messing up. I had my I got I got fired. from McDonald's. It was the best job I. ever had in my life. Now, listen to me.

McDonald's was great because I worked. from 5:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m. So, I didn't. have to have a hotel. I didn't have to. have a place to stay. I was one of the. best there. It was more than a job. It. It was the to stay off the streets to. say, "I lost my job." telling an elderly. lady, "I'll spin your food." My manager. said to me, "Eric, you're the best that. I have." I wouldn't I would let it go. I. would just tell you, "Don't ever do that. again." But the owner told me I had to. And when I when he I gave him my ribbon.

and I turned in all my stuff and I. walked away and I said, "Your mom didn't. do this. Your biological father didn't. tell nobody was going to spit their. food. You said you was going to spit. their food. You lost your job because of. your mouth. you lost your job because. you're hurt and you're taking that hurt. everywhere you go and it doesn't matter. if you go to college, it doesn't matter. if you get another job. That hurt shows. up everywhere you go and it destroys. everything you do. And that hurt is not. your mother's hurt. It's not your f. that's your hurt. And so forget the. audience. Forget if everybody claps and. if everybody affirms you. So first of.

all, why you want to be affirmed? Cuz my. biological father wasn't in my life. Okay, deal with that. Say it out loud. Talk to your therapy. Your mom got you a. therapist. You don't even want to talk. to the therapist. Open your mouth and. tell the therapist, "I'm hurt. It it it. it it it pains me to see other kids at. sporting events with their fathers. It. hurts me to go to parent teacher. conference and they have their. biological father." It hurts to see the. Ola Mills pictures of three generations. and you don't have pictures with your. biological father. You don't know who. your grandfather. Just say it hurts. But.

stop walking around masquerade like. you're this tough guy. You're not. fighting because you're tough. You're. fighting because you're hurt. You're not. hard because you you're hard. You're not. hard. You're hurt. And so I had to say, Eric, this has nothing to do with your. mom. This pain has nothing to do with. your dad. This is you. And you owe you. to fix it. To be honest and transparent. and fix it. And so 1,000% male, that. that was the thing that that I would say.

to somebody who's sitting here. You have. control. Everything that is ailing you, you can deal with it. You could be. transparent, you can get help, or you. can continue to blame. But I'm telling. you, I blamed and it didn't bring me to. it. I didn't attract the male Robbins in. the world when I attracted the police. officers and other people who weren't. who didn't have a north star who had no. clarity who were hurt. >> You're right. If you're focused on all. the excuses, if you're focused on all. the reasons, if you're focused on all. the hurt in the past, if you're focused.

on the people that did you wrong, >> Yeah. >> you literally attract more of that. Absolutely. >> When you focus on making a decision to. change yourself because that's the only. thing you can control. Now your energy. is moving in a forward positive. direction and it starts to build. Was. there a moment when you remember making. a decision like this is the turning. point. This is I am changing. >> Yeah. I I I remember it has nothing to.

do with church but it has everything to. do with an individual at church or. individuals and I was fortunate enough. to at that time um be in the proximity. of DD who's now was my girlfriend became. my wife and there were others there who. were going to college and Dee pulled me. to the side that's why proximity is so. important. >> and I remember Dee saying hey I'm going. to college. I would love to have you go.

with me, but if you don't, I'm leaving. and I'm never coming back. And so, it. was the one positive place or thing in. my life. And I said, Eric, you've messed. everything up. You can't mess this up. Like, you have one good thing going for. you. And so, for me, it was just a. moment of Eric, this is the defining. moment. You can keep going down the path. you're going or you can take the help. And often times male the first greatest. decision we can make is to say help.

It's not us doing anything. And that's. why people get overwhelmed because they. feel like the change that needs to be. made. I have to make it. M I didn't get. here because I made all the right. decisions and make I was with people who. made good decisions. I was with people. who had hope, who had clarity, who said, "Let us help you." And that was the. first decision I made. I said, "Pastor, you know what? You've been talking about. GED. You've been talking about night. school. How do I sign up? Dee, you've. been talking about me going to college.

and following you. I'm about to go to. night school. Uh Bob, you've been. talking about getting in this youth. program and coming here regularly. You. know what? I'm going to take advantage. of these three great opportunities. And. those three turned into six, and those. six turned into 12, and those 12 turned. into 24. And then one day I woke up, I. was on the Mel Robbins podcast. [laughter]. >> Come on, y'all. Come on. Well, you know. what I love about you is first of all, you're very lovable. Second, you are. extremely smart. Third, you have just a. gift. >> with words.

>> And. because you've lived it, >> yes, >> this is not something you've read in a. book and you're just like spitting it. back. This is the lessons and the truths. that you have learned the hard way. And. what's interesting is that you know how. much work it takes. Yes.

>> And it's kind of surprising when you. make a decision that you want your life. to feel better, how when you're finally. ready for that to happen, it happens pretty quickly. You know, you. [clears throat] say excuses soften the. pain. >> Yeah. >> What does that mean? Excuses just make you feel so good. But. here's the challenge. You still got to. get up the next day with the. consequences. >> You still got to get up the next day. knowing that you blew it. You know, you. still got to get up the next day knowing.

that nothing changes for you. And so. that's when I started realizing while. excuses may feel good, they don't help. And and male, I want people to hear me. You got to hear this. The greatest error. I've ever made in my life is me deciding. to take the hand that was dealt to me. and come up with all the negativity in. the hand. I never saw the big joker that. was there. I have a gift. I've God gave. me a gift. Like I've been speaking.

before I even knew what I had. I had it. I' I've always been a people person. I've always loved on people and took. care of people. I've always been that. person. I'm the oldest in my family. I've always took taken care of my. sister. I've already taken care of on. the block, but I always looked at what I. didn't have. And the day I started. looking at that same hand, but seeing. what I had and started playing what I. had, my whole life changed. I'm sorry, Mel. I had the same mother, the same. father. I didn't grow any taller as you.

could see. There was a lot like nothing. like happened, but I changed what I was. looking at and where my focus went. My. energy started to go in there. Next. thing I know, I'm with Dee. I got my. GED. I'm with Dee in college. I marry. after our freshman year. We have a. beautiful family. I start speaking. I. become known in the city. I leave, go. back to Michigan, get a masters, a PhD. I [laughter] I become ET the hip-hop. preacher. I Everything changed when one.

thing changed. I looked at my hand. different than I looked at it before. >> Oh, so. insanely powerful and true. Because if. all you do is complain about the hand. you've been dealt, >> Yeah. >> you will lose. >> You will lose. >> You will lose. >> But you can win with any hand. >> It's all how you play it. [laughter]. >> It's how you play it, man. >> It's how you play it. >> If you ever play cards, >> you if you're from Michigan, you play a. lot [laughter] of cards. >> Yes. And so that is a huge takeaway. I.

want you to grab that and stick that in. your pocket. >> and start doing that today. I am so excited that Hyundai is a new. sponsor of the Mel Robbins podcast. because, you know, winning an award over. and over again takes a real commitment. to being the best. And that's exactly. what Hyundai has done. Hyundai has been. named America's best SUV brand for 2026. by US News and World Report. Now, that's. the fifth time in six years. So, they're.

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for complete details. You know, I knew you would convince us. that you can change and I want you to. coach me and the person who is. listening, who is saying to themselves, all right, Dr. Thomas, you convince me. I do not want to stay where I am. I do. not want to be this version of myself.

There are things about my life I've been. making excuses around whether it's the. job or the weight or the relationship or. whatever it may be. What do we how do we. apply this 52day thing? Like how do you. how do you like pick something that. you're going to shift for the positive. and actually stick to it? >> So I I would say this first. I would. just say whatever you pick, we're going. to walk through it. >> Oh, walk me through it. Yes. But but I I. do want you to pick something that. you're going to get the greatest return. on your investment. >> So I don't want you to pick something.

that you know it's going to change but. it's not going to do a lot for you. >> So So me. changing high blood pressure that's. that's a great return on investment. Me. losing 25 pounds great return on. investment. Um not snoring and so Dee. can get some sleep at night right? Um. not eating after 6 anymore. where I was. doing some intermittent fasting and that. was helping the body, right? So, blood. pressure down, diet, everything is going. to be down. So, I want you to pick.

something that you can get a return on. your investment. But here's the first. step I want you to take and and nobody. this listen to me. Don't ask anybody. because when you start getting people's. opinions, it don't do that. Don't ask. anybody for permission. You don't need. permission. But let me tell you what the. first thing I did. I took a picture of. where I wanted to be and I put it up. It's the first thing I want you to do. And do me a huge favor. I did not pick, you know, that picture, the Michael B. Jordan in Creed 3. [laughter].

Shout out to my boy Michael B. Jordan. I. did not pick that picture and put that. picture on the wall. I That's not I I. just wanted a better uh dad bod. I. literally picked the picture that I felt. when I spoke in that season was the best. version of Eric Thomas at that time. I. didn't pick anything that would be. overwhelming, that's out of reach. I. didn't want to start in a deficit. Don't. do that. Don't put $6 million. Don't. Don't do that. Put I don't want to be in. debt. 52 days later, I want my credit.

score to go from $559 to 600, whatever. First thing I want you to do, where your. focus goes, your energy flows. Most of. you need a northstar. You just need some. clarity in your life. You just need. something to go to bed to wake up to. And so for me it was like, Eric, this is. actually embarrassing to be 242 is. actually embarrassing. Like come on, Eric. To to to be the number one. motivational speaker in the world. You. know what I'm saying? To write a New. York Times bestseller, to be in a. blissful marriage, to do Eric, this does.

not even reflect you. This is. embarrassing. Like the one area in your. life. So I would just say to you, pick. that area where it's like you know. better than this. It's not bringing you. a return. It's it doesn't make you look. good. It's not attractive on you. It. doesn't feel good. And I'm telling you, putting the shirt on and there would be. times I would do a video and I was like, "Do me a favor. Don't I wouldn't tell. them, but I wanted to tell them don't. get a side angle like the gut." You know. what I'm saying? Don't just keep. straight in front. Like, we just want to. say I'm only wearing black all black.

shirts, right? And I got to a point was. like, "Eric, it's embarrassing at this. point." So, I'm saying to you, "Yes, you. know, but I just want you to turn that. camera. Just do me a favor. Take the. camera, flip it, turn it on you, look at. you in the mirror and say, "This is. embarrassing. I I should be doing. better. I know better." This has nothing. to do with the the reward on the other. side. Let's just start with this. Not. even me. This is not like I don't even. know how I got I don't know how I got. Well, I do know how I got to 242, but. you know what I mean. Like, I don't know.

how I got to 242. Like, I don't even. feel com like I don't like wearing. double X. I'm not 66. I shouldn't be. wearing a double X shirt, right? And so, that's what I would say to you. Look at. an area in your life where you're like, I know this is not reflective of me. >> I know this is not who I am. I know this. is not the best of me. Turn that camera. on that person and look at that person. and say, "I'm firing you. You're no longer. needed. You're no longer healthy. You're. no longer productive. You're no longer.

needed in my life. You are a menace to. where I'm trying to go. No more pink slips. You're out of here.". So that's what I would say. And then do. me a favor. Let's just take don't even. do 24 hours at a time. Don't do that. That's overwhelming. I don't work out 24. hours. I said, "Eric, do me a favor.". When I first started, I said, "Bro, give. me 30 minutes. If you can give me 30. minutes on a treadmill at two speed, two. incline, three incline. Just give me 15. minutes. Just do enough for your body.". It's like, "Okay, I like this." And put.

your body in a situation where it's. muscle memory that the first week you do. it every day. you do something light. that the second week the body is like, "Are we doing that again?" So, just do. me a favor. Put the picture up. I want. the picture in your bathroom. I want the. picture in your living room. I want the. picture on your car. If you if you have. a ceiling that you can get to, put the. picture on your ceiling so when you go. to sleep at night and wake up, you see. it. Like, I want a picture of what you. want to be everywhere. I want you to see.

it everywhere you go. And then, do me a. favor. Every day, we're just going to do. a little bit, not too much. And then. we're gonna keep adding to that to 52. days later you gonna look up and go, did. I do that? Did I become that? >> You really believe you can change in 52. days? >> I really do believe you can change your. mindset. And once you change your. mindset, the results may not all come in. 52 days, but the mindset will come in 52. days. And the results always follow the. mindset. >> Here's one other thing that struck me as. you were talking.

When you have the courage to admit that. you're embarrassed, you're embarrassed by how you're showing. up at work, you're embarrassed by how. you're eating, you're embarrassed by how. you've let your health go, you're. embarrassed. I I'll give you the one. that I have. I have been so overwhelmed. that I feel at times like my stress. and feeling frustrated. It feels very. similar right now to how I used to feel.

when I was a young mom. And it is. embarrassing to me that my work stress. has gotten to me the way that it has. And I can say that because I don't like. that. And when you can admit to yourself. that there are parts of you, whether. it's your jealousy or maybe your. spending is embarrassing. Maybe it's. embarrassing that you work really hard. and you spend all your money buying. stuff or leasing a car cuz you want. people to think a certain thing about. you, but you're embarrassed that you.

don't have any savings cuz you're so. busy spending it all to prove something. to people you don't even care about. When you can admit that, I want you to understand something. powerful. The new version of you, the true version. of you actually showed up. That version of you is already in there. That's why you're embarrassed. And now it's about taking on this 52-day. challenge of acting like the new version. of you, even if it's just for 30 minutes.

a day. >> Yeah. You. >> Yeah. I started a transcendental. meditation practice because I had to. look into what do I need to learn as a. skill. >> to help me manage the very real stress. of building a company like this? Cuz I. don't want to take it out of my family. It's embarrassing. I don't want to be. upset about stupid things. It's. embarrassing. >> Yeah. You you said something powerful. >> I didn't add that as a part of the. steps. >> Yeah. >> But maybe that that maybe that.

embarrassing inventory is kind of where. you start before you even get the. picture. It's like let's do an. embarrassing inventory and let's audit. all the areas where either I'm. embarrassed or I should be [laughter]. embarrassed cuz maybe maybe like maybe. some of the areas you you you're not. taking ownership that you actually. should be embarrassed. >> It's that simple. Can you give another. simple example of a 52day get it done. plan? Like what are some of the daily. non-negotiables for you? Like how you're.

coaching people through this? >> So number one, schedule it. >> Okay. Like it for real, if it's not if. you don't write it down and you don't. give it a time, it's just not going to. happen. So that [clears throat] that's. number one. Like actually schedule it. and and Okay, now Dei's going to kill me. for this one. De's going to kill me for. this. >> I don't want to get in trouble with. Yeah. Yeah. De's going to kill me for. this one. Not only do you need to. schedule it, you need to make you a. priority. So here's Dei's thing, right? And I don't know where Dee got it from, but she watched too much TV. So, so when.

we would go on a trip and we would be in. the hotel, I wouldn't exercise male. until she got up because Dee felt like I. don't want to be in the room. >> Like, you're working out. You know, if. there's people here with keys, anybody. could come into the room. And so, for a. long time, man, I wasn't working out. And Dee would get up, but by the time. she got up, it's like we're retired. So, we're doing worship together. We're. going out to eat. We She's going. shopping. I never got to it. was like, "Eric, your non-negotiables are Nadi's.

non-negotiables." For years, I would not. get up and go work out because of her. fears. They weren't even my fears. And. it wasn't even true. So, number one, schedule it. Number two, non-negotiable. Once you make up in your mind you going. to work out or do whatever you going to. do, your wife, your husband, your kids, you can't let somebody else's fear or. somebody else's reality consume you to. the point that you're not doing what. you're supposed to be doing. Number. three, take it light. Don't do anything.

that's going to overwhelm you and make. you stop and make you quit. Number four, tell somebody else you're doing it. Be. held accountable. I don't know what it. is, man. It might just be me and I feel. uh silly saying it, but sometimes I. would rather work out because I told you. than work out because I because I said I. was gonna. >> There's nothing silly about that at all. I will meet you at 5:30 in the morning. because I promised you I would be at. that class and I will not meet myself.

>> I'm just I I don't know what it is, Mel, but there are times where I just won't. meet myself. But if I tell you I'm going. to do it and you say, "Hey, E, where's. the and some Oh, man. It feels so good. when I do the hour, you know, uh, treadmill and I do the 30 minute wait. and I do the sign and I send the whole. thing and my boy CJ go eat. Let's go. I'm like, was it the workout? [laughter]. Was it him saying go? That was you. You. know, and so I think that's important,

too, because you can let yourself down. sometimes quicker than you can somebody. else. >> You know what I think you should do is. you should take this episode and copy. the link and text it to your best friend. or to your sister or to your brother or. someone. >> and say, "I am so inspired to take on a. 52day challenge. Let's do it together. Let's each pick something." And I want. to share with you, Dr. Thomas, and with. you as you're listening that the team. that's producing this episode is. listening to our conversation, and.

they're feeling so inspired. And here. are things that they're going to be. taking on for the next 52 days. State of. my home embarrasses me. [laughter]. I need to organize it. I'm embarrassed. uh that I don't work out. I'm going to. take on a 52-day challenge to start. working out again. I'm embarrassed by. how much I complain. So, I'm going to. take on a challenge around that. I'm. embarrassed by my lack of knowledge. So, I'm going to take on a challenge around. reading. Um, here's another one. I'm. embarrassed by my posture, >> and so I'm going to take on a 52-day.

challenge to start stretching more. Uh, I'm embarrassed by not knowing how to. cook. >> Multiple people on our team are saying. this, and so I am going to spend 52 days. learning the skill of cooking. I'm. embarrassed by the amount of debt I'm. in. And so I'm gonna spend 52 days. making and sticking to a plan. >> That's good. >> And so you can see that we there like. you need to take that embarrassment part. because I think there's a lot out there. about hitting rock bottom, >> right? That it's got to be really.

horrible in order for you to muster up. the motivation intrinsically to say I'm. so sick of myself that staying here is. worse than actually doing the thing that. I'm avoiding. But embarrassment. is a way for you to access the truth. that you're living in a way that's not. aligned with your true values and who. you truly know yourself and know your. know you want to be.

>> for somebody that's really in it with us. and is. >> has has has admitted this thing that's. embarrassing. They're having their own. personal reckoning. What what do you. want them to know? This good news. >> I just want to say congratulations Like, no, for real. Congratulations. And I say. congratulations because I deal with so. many people every day who know that. they're not their best self and they. quit and they give up and they. surrender. So, I just I I honestly want. to say to you, congratulations. Like, I.

don't know if you know how big it is to. say, I'm embarrassed by this or that. Most people hide. Like, most people. aren't transparent. And you'd be shocked. that the actual secret to success is. really transparency. It's really owning. up to it and saying, "Yo, I'm I'm not. happy." And guess what? People who hide, they they they're never discovered. They. never discover. They never explore. They. ne once you hide, that's it. But the. person that says I got on the scale,

y'all, that now I'mma be honest with. you. That was the reason why I never. lost. Now, I know Mel would say, you. know, you were big. I did, but I ain't. know how big and I didn't want to know. how. Okay, I didn't want to know how big. I was. Why? Because I knew once I got on. the scale, guess what was going to have. to happen. I was going to have to do. something about it. So, most of us are. running from our scale. We're running. from the real number, the real truth, right? And so, it's like, e, just get on. the scale. And I got on the scale and I.

said, whoa, you in the 24. Now I got to. be honest. It was 242 like a week or two. when I was like you got to get on the. scale. So I think I kind of pulled back. I might have been bigger if I would have. got on the scale and then that was in. the morning too and like dry weight. That wasn't like in the middle of the. day when I had you know something to. eat. So but when I saw the 242 guess. what it was embarrassing it was the. beginning of 219. It was the beginning. of 219. Like cuz 215 did like you too.

small. I don't like you at 215. 219, 220. She like, I still feel I, you know, I got something to hold, right? And so I. was like, e 219. But listen to me. The. day you see 242 is the day 219 comes. alive. It's the day it comes alive. The. day you see your worst self is the day. your new self was peeking in saying, "I. told you. I told you." And just I all I. need you to do is just tag me in. And. there and the 219 dude said, "Just tag.

me in. just turn on the treadmill. Just. give me a shot at the treadmill. I just. dare you to go in there and be by. yourself and listen to your own. thoughts, Eric. I dare you. And I did it. for a week. And then my body was like, I. dare you to do it two weeks in a row. >> I dare you. Just give me a shot. And I'm. telling you that 219, which is, you. know, figuratively. I'm not I don't. know. We're not talking about weight, but that person is daring you to tag. them in. They're daring you to give them. control. Give me the keys. I just told a.

group of kids in school. I was at a high. school in uh Flushing, Michigan, which. is right next door to Flint. And the. kids was like, "I hate my teachers. I. hate the counselors. I hate school." I. said, "Do me a favor. Take the keys. Then go make your own curriculum. Go. study yourself. I dare you to take the. keys. Go talk to your counselor. I dare. you to go to college. Like, I dare you. If you don't like what your teacher's. doing, you don't like the way the school. is, take the keys and go start writing. your own papers. Start doing your own. research. Go meet with your teachers and. find out what books they read when they. were in college. I dare you to take the.

keys. And so I'm daring somebody today. to let the best version of you take over. cuz the worst one has. >> And I'm telling you, don't wait another. day. Start the 52 right now. I don't. know if you're at optimal below. I don't. know. But let's start right now. And for. the next 52 days, let's just operate at. optimal and let's give our best self a. chance. And then I'll see you January. 1st. I I promise you if if you don't. like it, call mail. If you don't like. [laughter] it, call mail. You don't have. my contact, but call mail. And uh yeah,

that's that's how I feel about the. 52-day transformation. >> You know, we're not going to end this. I'm going to have you send this. >> Okay. >> Send this. Meaning, send the person into. the next version of themselves. Dr. Eric. Thomas, what are your parting words? >> You owe you. You owe you to do what? you. owe you to look at the hand that you've. been dealt and play it. And so study. your hand. That's all I would tell you. Study it. And then when you study it and. you learn it, play it to the best of. your ability. So you owe you, nobody.

else owes you. If they help you, that. would be great. But I promise you, if. you help yourself. and you get rid of that victim's. mentality and you become a victor, I I. guarantee you, you two can be sitting. next to whoever you want to sit next to. You can be on whatever podcast you want. to be on, whatever stage you want to be. on, whatever magazine you want to be on, whatever you want to do. I guarantee if. you handle you, people will see how. valuable you are and they'll start to. bless you the way you blessed yourself. >> Well, Dr. Thomas, you are a blessing.

>> Thank you. >> And this structure of 52 days. >> Yeah. >> And the invitation to get embarrassed. >> by uh where you're at. >> Get around the right person. >> You know what I'm saying? Like it do you. do not have to have your whole life fall. apart to change. You can just be honest. about what you're embarrassed about and. you [clears throat] can make a decision. that you're going to spend the next 52. days doing something about it. >> Yes. That's how you roll. Dr. Thomas. So. Dr. Thomas, thank you. Thank you. Thank.

you. Thank you. And thank you. Thank you. for making time and spending it with me. and Dr. Thomas. Now stop listening and. do something about it. You take the. link, you send it to a friend, you. create a 52-day plan just like I've. done. You challenge yourself to make. your life better, to feel better about. yourself. And I promise you, just like. Dr. Thomas did, January 1 rolls around. or 52 days from now, you are going to be. a different you because you're the one. who made that change happen. And in case. no one else tells you as your friend,

I'm going to tell you that I love you. I. bet Dr. Thomas wants to say that, too. >> Absolutely. Love you. love you. Love. you. And I pray that you will learn to. love yourself. >> Oh, and this conversation, it is my hope. that it helps you do that because you. can create a better life. But learning. how to love yourself, you better follow. everything Dr. Thomas said because. that's how you do it and you owe you. I'll see you in the next episode. I'm. going to welcome you in the moment you. hit play. And thank you for watching all.

the way to the end. I really love being. here with you. Wasn't that. extraordinary? Thanks for being so. generous with [music] that, for being a. subscriber. All right, I know because he. just lit you up, you want to watch. another episode [music] of the Mel. Robbins Podcast. You're going to love. this one next. And I'm going to welcome. you in the moment you hit play.