The McCusker Family Curse

what's up bro what up you're back in the. heartland I'm back home dude back in my. mommy and daddy's basement that's that's. a good feeling dude I'm in my basement. right now it's a nice feeling to be a. mommy and daddies this is where your. podcasts the vested this was the less. yeah we didn't episode down here I'm in. crossing spot it was cited by the press. the press did say that we called. southern soldiers so gay and you believe.

it how are you chillin dude I'm I'm. getting my my whole squad I got a right. now I'm point man for the whole squad. Jackson's got diarrhea. Matilda's mean generally weird so I have. to my dog takes dumps diarrhea's in my. backyard drops piles basically you have. to watch three days I've been on dump. watch being like come on drop just show. me some kind of thing resembling like a. proto turn because when it turns when. his diarrhea turns there's like it'll be. kind of like slippery little slugs I'm.

like just trust me I know about it I. know when that diarrhea turns what. you're working with that's the light at. the end of the tunnel I'm waiting for. the light at the end that's why you. you're looking for the curve to flatten. on the dog diarrhea exactly you're. trying to flatten that keep where people. are saying I'm too optimistic too. hopeful get Rho saying how great how. great is our God did he's doing it my. president right now is doing a good job. my president you can slander him all you.

want. slander him all you want but our. president sorry he was optimistic sorry. yeah sorry that's just trying to get. authoritarianism passed we're not gonna. let it. Facebook's already starting they're like. tracers and stuff Facebook Facebook and. Google are already like oh we're already. working on this thing to track B it's. like okay yeah it all guys think. tinkering on that and that's all you. guys do what are you talking to people. are getting red pilled left and right. yeah man I was just talking to it I was.

just talking to Claire she just got red. pilled it's like I didn't know uh I know. Bill Gates was such a bad guy I was like. whoa she was like doesn't Donald Trump. likes a deep state like I think he's. trying. help us she got trunks the white hat red. pilled no she gets mad at any time I. like give it if I give Trump a. compliment she likes passes out but she. did but she did get red pilled hard on. him saying deep state during like. pressors and then she just found out.

Bill Gates was shitty yeah beau gage is. a bastard dude okay we need to knock his. block off we've talked about it before. he's been going around circumcising. people in Africa are just all. willy-nilly just yeah he's practicing. eugenics on brown people I don't like. that that's what the elites love to do. he is he is going into dong Wakanda dude. and trying to mess with the SK not pure. Dom he's trying to go oh your dog the. mother dog but as a computer dork it is.

that's a noble cause I could be like a. pent up computer nerd and then be like. I'm gonna destroy the dongs just work. your way from your garage the whole way. to Africa and now oh actually all right. I'm coming around off no gates I'm. talking about so that's been uh because. that's Bezos his ultimate vision is to. like get us into space. gates might be to like conquer the. African dog dark Connor do the dong. continent fever dreams is use a young.

program my face to cover my forehead. bill it was an Arabian gas mask down to. my chin it was constant belly button I. thought it was a triple chin it was the. head of a dog he was there I swear to. God. I'm going to Africa I'm gonna cut them. up hey dude I don't even think about it. he might have had something do with Kobe. bro you think he did a TED talk three.

years ago being like we gotta watch out. for a horrible like you know. transmittable diseases or whatever he's. been calling epidemic this is the new. terrorism dude nobody cares about Isis. anymore that that died with you know the. Clinton Foundation people are like oh. yeah. those guys we were scared of in the. [ __ ] desert on we're kind of wrong. about it yeah they do love whipping. people into a frenzy and all I did that. got me. they got I saw the Turnpike well I will.

say guys on dirt bikes are always a. problem my [ __ ] weed whacker motors. your light buzz around your town you. know you're in trouble on the distance a. couple Yamahas screech it up some dude. in the Leonel messy Jersey in a black. scarf on his face killing a dude I heard. they were gay men and this in this town.

it's so funny when they're like alright. we gotta get over there we gotta hit the. white house and they get on soil like oh. [ __ ] a gay nightclub they're gonna [ __ ]. us up they're gonna blow up the White. House they got like one night we got one. [ __ ] gay dude to attack a gay club. that's all he got here so what's the. mission attack the White House and he. was like let me go see a gay boy I'm. gonna hang out this club I can't let.

this get back to anyone I think that guy. was an American citizen Joe Joe I think. that guy was literally from Mike Orlando. it's just like one day was like I'm with. uh Isis yeah that was definitely a. psycho but it's a good convert though. yeah yeah it's like Age of Empires they. used one of those priests and just. [ __ ] turned one of our guys into. there's a [ __ ] you got it man Isis Isis.

still holds up and is funny I do I mean. they're nothing against the invisible. enemy I mean they're hilarious for. dummies the invisible Iran is the. invisible enemy kovat or is the. invisible enemy the deep state oh you. tell me it's all about the narrative. spin dude people you people argue like. all this is made-up it's like dude all. you need is one thing and then you can. lie your pants off about it and there's. no repercussion yeah I do.

when these numbers came out when they. were talking all the [ __ ] I was like I. just dude I don't I don't see it dude I. don't think we're gonna get hit when. we're not gonna have the bubonic plague. again. I mean hey yeah hey look we we could be. we could be celebrating a little early. here dude. this could be but I we are officially. announcing kovat is done on the podcast. today it's over you guys can go about. your business. dude trouble for that. if you're who's the guy who does London.

real you know the jack guy who always. vlogs the shirt off Brian something he's. like hey guys just did a 47 mile hike. here they shut down my david icke video. did you see that guy no I didn't even. watch that I didn't watch the david icke. video do you know you watch a London. real it's a guy who always in striped. suit know he sounds great he he's pretty. [ __ ] sick we got a zoo he wears a. suit he were every interview was it's. called like he seems like Brian. something every interview you were. pinched right he wears a pinstripe suit.

so he's a class 2 grand classic dude. he's a classic man yeah he's G dude and. now he loves now he loves freedom. he loves David Icke you did it David. Icke is David Icke interview was fire. I'll give it to him but it got pulled. down now he's being like sanctioned and. [ __ ] by London or whatever so now he. just takes his shirt off every morning. his vlogs like a selfie stick and it's. like hey guys quick update I'm worried. about David Icke ah it's so fun nothing. like a good squint into the distance.

dude oh yeah this dude this dude rules. yeah I'm - did we the fact that we're. not doing shirtless vlogs is killing us. right now doing our numbers do killing. her we should start doing like hey guys. we just did like three sets of ten. push-ups. my wrist hurts my wrists hurt on the. last one sided seven I got a little. tendinitis of the elbow from gym class. it's flaring up again people are furious. about the John McAfee interview I'm kind.

of worried about his safety right now. yeah he was saying dude we might have to. run it back with Big Mac did we have to. hit the Mac attack dude he's been going. against cronies day one he has he might. be right about he might be the most. right I mean dude he's been I mean he. knows everything obviously he's flying. drones over you know. the Epstein's place so he knows what's. going on. I hear that heard that twice to ear say. it again. dude how you feel man back from a mega.

mega vac from mega vacation and now the. mega vacation is gonna keep rolling I'm. gonna take a little rest stop at mommy. and daddy's and then tomorrow I'm gonna. head out to Stanhope's I'm gonna start. driving to Arizona tomorrow what's your. what's your safety plan in the parents. house right now I just went upstairs and. rahmat rummaged through the cabinets so. I might kill my parents cuz I needed. some Keebler cookies I risked it all for.

a couple Keebler Elf cookies which ones. al fudge yeah dude you know about to. risk my family for one of those little. fudge wheels no Jer classic yíall foot. and I saw them and I was like dude say. that a good life Joe you need sustenance. cronies from these luggages that's what. happens yeah I mean I know I don't know. dinner with them I'll probably sit at. dinner like I mean I don't know maybe I.

won't maybe I'll kill them yeah do that. it's a good time to kill him if you want. to kill him you could kill him right now. he's a murderer. if you murdered your parents right now. they'd like come in with a get a head. wound to be like go bid 1 2 4 ok it was. codes breaking people's heads open is my. internet [ __ ] up is that a little bit. it's a little it is a little bit [ __ ]. up Paul's it up let's jump we'll see. Saha disconnecting reconnect. disco Rico dude we're back in dude I.

mean yeah - Mad Max world dude if you. see a glitch that's just that's what it. is right now something we can do. bro the fun of my eyes turns red it's. like back in so I did terminate a fight. I had to have the fight I had to have to. get this [ __ ] Wi-Fi it's it's. incredible every time I'm at this house. there's a guaranteed fight for what the. Wi-Fi is no one here writes it down and. neither do i I probably should well is. it like the one that came with the.

router or is it like geezer pass your. codes are easy to crack it's like Phil. Gillis address birthday yeah well no. it's usually my niece's name and her. birthday got you but there's some with. my just my niece's name there's some. with capital nieces name there's some. with my sister's name there's it's just. like yeah the geezer they do and I never. understand I mean I guess you're. supposed to but use the same password. for everything yeah yeah the only thing. I ever have to remember is if it's. capitalized or not yeah I have like one.

or two passwords that I did cycle. through if it's not one it's yeah I'll. just cycle through all my passwords and. I'll get it my mom doesn't know the. password to log on to her computer say. well you know they like the passcode for. a user if she does not know that so if. the computer like I restarted the. computer last time I was here that was. chaos for a week she couldn't do work I. mean it's and it's a fight and then she. gets nervous cuz I'm you know I'm not. the nicest guy your tickets are like you.

got the peanut you got a pin out of the. grenade look mom if I'm trying to play. total war your your computer in your. office I need the [ __ ] password and. then when I find out you don't know your. own computer password I'm gonna get. fired up you can have a salty son you. guys are playing total war in real life. give you I'm gonna bring a brigade to. her [ __ ] gut. during the belly yes. how's everybody happy to see you or what. what's going on yeah we're happy I could.

tell they were happy to see me but it's. just my mom and dad my sister is over at. my other sisters house that's good. that's nice cuz she's the one who would. definitely die yeah that's good. did she move they move her in the night. when they heard you were coming the dirt. bikes Ramona Virginia they knew I was. coming to kill the sick women oh man. two weeks in a lake house is is fun but. you really start to hate all your. friends yeah you guys I mean that's.

that's close quarters for a while man we. did turn it around the second week was. better first week first week there was. some uneasiness about how long certain. people were staying there and if they. were you know two days or two weeks I. guess it's up to them ya know where the. group out just the uncertainty just. sehun certainty and then you know it's a. whole it was a whole thing could you. blame him could you blame anyone. no blame for now I leave the perfect.

[ __ ] spring slash literally no blame. perfect splink spring session / winter. excuse me knows the perfect spring do. you do is it was warm out there got out. on the boat me know Connie's had a nice. we had a nice late night boat trip dude. well to a.m. took some mushrooms we. probably should have been on a boat but. was it anchored or you guys now tighter. crimson down the lake just perfect. Stillwater beaut stars were out. completely. it was [ __ ] incredible it's a little. nice we took turns standing on the bow.

listening to music Oh big a in hindsight. but I woke up the next day I was it was. one of those hangovers I was happy about. I'll charge you outside I was that was. [ __ ] great that's awesome yeah so we. got that going I think someone's. blasting music upstairs and I am about. to [ __ ] spaz all my mommy Alexa its. do a tree and turn your legs off. yeah yeah it's my Spotify so I could. [ __ ] but you want hit him with every.

time she makes dinner she puts on some. gay [ __ ] like right now she's. listening to. Carole King it's always Carole King got. afraid what's not [ __ ] blast right. now dude. I mean how best how weird this is funny. I mean if you go old-school DMX is. pretty tight object chicks pretty sick. five-oh phone boy do wobble wobble right.

now on full blast. oh yeah wobble wobble playing so loud. they can't yell over the alexa drop it. Wow so right now she's cooking and.

there's just blast if he's joking wobble. was blasting in the kitchen they're. screaming right now. Alexa not in my house Alexa ah damn it. oh my god yeah that's always fun. that's a nice Street that is so funny. switching mama I'm doing the podcast.

damn it dude that's so in the words of. every great podcast I just do the. podcast mom ready for dinner. I'm doing the podcast people shower and. she flushes the toilet or like drains. that's bathtub the water comes rushing. down I'm like Britney stop taking a. shower I'm doing a five yeah this is uh. this is exactly where everybody would. imagine me yeah man you know triumphs. basement triumphant um oh I'm gonna miss.

SNL's they're doing a show from they're. doing a show tonight they're doing a. live show from YouTube's like on Zoom. that'll be fantastic it's gonna be. really good they're all playing like. they're gonna like. I mean that show as great as it is but. you throw in a nice time delay oh yeah. we've got a hit that's good. [Music]. [ __ ] I wish I was on that mom throw my.

dinner downstairs mom put the steak and. mashed potatoes on the front step the. first step in the basement come up and. get it if I see vegetables on my plate. they're [ __ ] spaz if there's not a. one if it's just were sister Shire I'm. going nuts did the coffee your coffee. two-faced it's I'm gonna go upstairs and. spin on everything I'm just gonna take a. [ __ ] leak on the kitchen table dude. oh you have to let him know you got it. um dude I I don't want to brag but I had.

a wet dream first time in my life. two days ago Jesus in your sleep. couldn't believe it couldn't believe. what were you dreaming about your wife. unidentified it was unidentified sexual. object in my dream you ever do that I'm. just a total mystery person what does a. mystery person I have my theories on who. it was I think it was probably some sort.

of spiritual entity but and it was funny. was her I think it was her bro she was. Santa Maria she was cruel to me last my. last deep dive she was cruel she was. what having harsh mistress to me how did. she meet you. it was just wicked dude I I think it's. really goes out I'm sleep-deprived I was. trying to deep dives on like a. collective like we got I thought that. you were a loser no not even close dude. I got too close to the house she cruel. to you because that usually so you know. when you get real stone in your body.

just gets that like real weird kind of. like vibrating feeling you know talking. about you it's you see I don't get my. whole body just feels like it's not like. hollow but it's like everything's kind. of like vibrating in a weird way oh yeah. yeah I remember this yeah just try to. fight that off now at Santa Maria's hole. did I go into that and yeah when engine. was shaking around I went into it and it. was just my thoughts were just totally. disordered and chaotic and just I said. you [ __ ]. why did you [ __ ] idiot [ __ ] stop. then she came back and I she let me.

prone but do the prone bone and a wet. dream to do was you did the pronin prone. bone dude i dude I mean I you want to. talk cool man. some good play any fully jizz in your. sleep honey way was a it wasn't a for it. felt like isn't freaked out when I. checked it was like a quarter load it. was one it was a potshot do this once. this is a quick and I woke up and it was. so funny are you moaning in your sleep I. don't know I was just one quick as soon. as I you know as soon as I got in a.

prone bone you know yeah she squeezed. one time I was in the hotel and Kyle and. six were in the other bed we're on the. road and I I you know I didn't jizz but. I was having a sex dream and Kaila Kyle. was awake and just heard me laying there. like oh yeah really sleep like nice no I. don't think I said anything I was just. like it is all happening so fast stop it. to my own I'm sorry dude my mirror. neurons triggered you when you did that.

I did it monkey see monkey do my. allergies my allergies got wild wild. maybe my eyes my eyes were like crusted. over when I woke up like full [ __ ]. hay fever bro you were a dude hey mama. what's happening to my yes I said. there's no one there for me I just had. to holler in the dark dude I suck right. now so I did your [ __ ] we talking. about you crushing but yeah dude I had a.

I won't immediately popped up as I. couldn't be true check my boxers I was. like yes finally bothered me I never had. a wet dream before I don't think I. really ever had one I did you know the. pre-cum occasionally I think that's the. most I forgot I it was always like a. fight type thing when I'd started having. sex and either wake up or it was just. kind of like I wouldn't be able to do it. dude yeah I think it's the fact that. I've been sleeping in boxers ever since. I have a daughter I started wearing. boxers and I sleep cuz that's like. beating bowels out of a slumber and like. burper and stuff and it just like don't.

worked on you don't want dawn involved. in that yeah you don't be holding your. baby nay I've done it I've held her. naked like carried her to a bassinet. naked in the middle of the night and I. was like it's just weird I should keep I. just gotta wear boxers now it is what it. is. have you got a cover your dog at all. times it's covered basically you have a. chastity belt but I woke up with and I. haven't like woken up with like boxer. Morningwood dude I was like giving. myself a wedgie the one morning I woke. up I was wooded out and it's my [ __ ]. boxers I bought of this [ __ ] sucks. yeah if you didn't like it I'd like that.

I don't mind a good boner in the boxers. it looks like no boner wedgie no I was. like I felt like I had like a minor. wedgie oh this is dick was bullying you. he's getting lunch money. yeah oh yeah man I was tight so I you. know I probably have some sort of like I. mean the fact that I've spread my seed. into the cosmos is you know I'm. surprised could be rewarding you with. that prong that's what I'm saying I. basically have a demigod just floating. around now after fun half man half.

[ __ ] Santa Maria dude how man have. weed edibles oh [ __ ] me do ya like I I. was wearing dude one day we went on the. but I wore ski goggles that's how [ __ ]. up my eyes were really yes it was crazy. you were can't hardly wait party and had. to with the tracksuit ski goggles it was. sick it was actually pretty cool. actually awesome yeah I was actually. like before I even knew there were ski. goes I was like I really wish there were.

ski goggles here I mean I could dress. like riff raff and then of course. O'Connor just had ski goggles with him. oh so white he had ski goggles in his. BMW nude ski goggles in his aunts BMW. I think they yeah I think they come with. it I think there's not like a sunglass. holder to ski goggles yes yes yeah if. you get a BMW from your aunt you get an. instant pass to you get a season pass to. Killington and some fat sea goggles ski.

goes they were pretty fat some ski. blades they were too big though I looked. like an idiot they were four there were. four of you were wearing a helmet like. VR goggles and I was sitting at the. sitting at the front of the boat while. we were driving and other boats would go. by and definitely be like that guy is. that's a [ __ ] man well I guess he. wearing VR on the front. I thought your via virtual reality on. the lake yeah activity good move to go. to a lake you go to like a nice like.

area and this VR out it might be the. sickest move you can possibly do. yeah going on vacation and staying. inside and playing video games the whole. time it's actually the coolest thing you. can do area like have somebody yeah like. if your parents are rich they buy like a. nice place. you just sit inside and play video games. that's the move you are King the video. game at the beach is Power Move I have a. cousin who did that constantly it would. like really you'd all go to the beach. and he would just sit in front of the PS. and chill and they got what we doing. right you know why. sick-ass move I don't know why when I.

was a kid I never even I couldn't even. fathom taking the system out of my house. yeah yeah I didn't really don't think I. ever moved at console once yeah I didn't. think people had that idea back then. Nintendo you you didn't want to jostle a. thing or other Nintendo can jostle it. yeah I think state you want to drill. that thing like it's safe into the. ground dude it's like soon as that me. moves it's [ __ ] it's over. that's [ __ ] boat oh dude I. didn't tell you well I did I kind of I. did tell you this but I didn't tell you. the full tale sprang into action last.

night after I almost said oh yeah I. [ __ ] spaz what happened oh you even. that early dad phase to where like if. somebody like ring and runs your house I. remember we got chased dudes that we. rang and ran in this guy's house and he. like brand Sprint and got in his truck. and was chasing us and I was driving and. he caught us in this neighbor I didn't. know the neighborhood. he's probably fighting with he's. fighting with his wife then you buddy.

out of the car and it was like you know. five high schoolers he got out of his. truck and just I thought I was gonna get. my ass beat by this dude he just [ __ ]. spaz so again he had a kid he's kind of. a [ __ ] kid in there you [ __ ]. [ __ ] he's probably just like a week you. start eating [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] every. time his wife turn around he's perfect. dude imagine some would rain rain and. running your house and then you chase. them down in your truck I would have I.

would have done it last night. I mean I what happened I'm sorry oh dude. so hold on. coronavirus nah bro. the coronavirus my whole family just got. it and just champion by the way really. my dad my mom all familiar big deal damn. Jews don't last night I don't know. what's going on with the baby dude she. was I think having like cramps some. weird [ __ ] a gas or something usually. goes to sleep at like 8 p.m. then we. sleep at like 8:30 to like 11 wake up.

you know through last night wouldn't go. down till like 11:45 he's just crying. for those party times reowww it was. total party who's staying up as rumpus. you can tell it absolute rumpus time. dude and I'm like so I'm like come on. [ __ ] please I was like mad I was like. go to bed and just what it's the most. confusing thing is it's just like man. all right eat and it's like eats it's. like right so it's not that it's always. like one of four things and you do all. four things and it still cries yeah well. what the [ __ ] man yeah there's nothing.

you can do so finally I put her down. dude it's like a whole art to it I'm. like rocking her doing all this stuff. you know patting her back finally she. goes nude and I put her down and when. you put her down my hands on her head to. end her stomach I just I hold her like. that while she's down until she falls. asleep again you put him down they wake. up again so dude this is like a 30. minute work in progress of like putting. this putting her to bed and it's pretty. because you're like you know it's fun. you get into rhythm you're good at it. all but I put her down I get into bed I. have I have a sleep mask because we have. to have like a nightlight on in a room.

now so I'm a thing cover my face that's. why my hair is always sticking out. series my sleep masks keep saying my. hair is ridiculous I don't even know. looks looking good now I'm going like. bald and then just in the top of my head. my hair just goes straight up it just is. straight bald and straight up spike did. it's a spike it's a natural spike I'm a. natural guy fieri dude of a natural. Fieri god it's embarrassing maybe I will. I was thinking about getting wild with. the hair I need a haircut I might just.

shave my just shave the sides leave the. bald middle up top that's a [ __ ]. tight move I'd be sick dude have you. really thick we'll see what happens I. was thinking this summer is buzzing it. all off dude. I'm either growing it long or just. wasn't it keep it to grow along again. the ball looks [ __ ] tight. no other choice dude that's my other. thing too I you know after last night. I've been thinking about this beforehand. I have to get jacked for my daughter and. I should probably have long hair too but. I I just I have to get [ __ ] this Jack. I know I have to get jacked as well that.

it has to be done it's too late it's I'm. getting too shitty and soft and gay now. I never do you should do Jax if you got. [ __ ] yoked it would be unbelievable I. need to get maybe i'll get yoked see. it's funny i was like nice dude i'll. take a month hit stanhope so i'll get. yoked down there bro I'm gonna booze or. harder than humanly possible for a month. yo can booze I don't know if I can yeah. I mean I I couldn't I don't think I'll.

stand up if I get hammered every day. Stan yeah go down there conquer the dark. goblin just do just you edibles down. there dude. the edibles are gone bro he's got some. yeah he's probably got some he's got. some wild edibles I think I bet right on. that Mexican border yeah just go down. there and just pop blue cheese and work. out you be [ __ ] yolk that's true I. could just get my dick hard and just do.

like ten push-ups a day yeah just be. yoked when I come back dude oh dude so. last night so I finally she's finally. starts sleeping and I'm like yes I get. into bed sleep mask is down and I hear. start their late father oh [ __ ] oh and. this there's like a field next to my. house and I'm like it's like in the. middle of the city and there's like this. vacant field that they can't they. haven't been able to build on for a. while because all this [ __ ] so you. know people bring their dogs there. there's like professional-grade fire I.

hear the first one I go [ __ ]. whatever then I hear a couple more and. I'm like oh no slap on the dudes I'm. wearing the same [ __ ] right now slap on. the West Watson dude they saw this they. were scared well you have a West Watson. hoodie on get Billy bought a frame for. Christmas GP life dude slap I slap on. the watch dude slap on the sweats and I. take to obviously take the sleep mask. off and I let I like turn T mm walked. like the guy who chases term I think. Michael Myers fast walked saw the one I.

thought there was gonna be little kids. I thought these gonna be like [ __ ] 15. year olds. I come out it's like a dude my age being. absorb sorry I'm like dude what the [ __ ]. are you doing he was like oh we're doing. we're doing we're stopped we're doing. honey so I'm like following him to his. card it's calling him a [ __ ] and a. [ __ ] for like 500 feet that you're a. [ __ ] loser you're a [ __ ] get the. [ __ ] out of here you know I'm saying I'm. sad. cuz I went from like just fighting with. my BAE not even like fighting just like. the you know you're trying to put a kid.

down she's like what and then I'm like. hey try this man [ __ ] Christ I'm. [ __ ] this every time I go and that's. all like I come out I'm like I'm gonna. kill whoever this is I don't care you. know they're just they're gonna get the. wrath regardless so I'm like spazzing. dude and I like kind of like fast walk. to this dude where he was like what the. [ __ ] and there was like it was kind of. dark so I couldn't name him he could. have hit you with a roman candle though. you were risk I would have ate it dude. that's Brittany was like legitimately. scared like they they who you don't know.

who this is and I was like Brittany I'll. die right now right now Ivy I've just. taken two hours to put this creature to. sleep you're not making it any easier. who's willing to die dude. well who's willing to die in the fight. base dude they smelled it I walked up on. like six dudes and they let me do my. trying to be a [ __ ] badass they. scattered cuz it was like I chased the. one dude down and was like what the [ __ ]. are you doing you're a [ __ ] loser. get the [ __ ] out he was like alright and. then all the sudden say to you just he. said he said anything else there's. Apollo smart he just apologized no back.

talk no back talk flip he was not. peaceful he was trying to be hit a. little attitude I'll give him that he. was like no it's Friday night man and. it's like dude you [ __ ] loser shut. the [ __ ] up and it is the whole time. just killing him and then I he walked he. look like we're talking [ __ ] hipster. yeah he looked a Fishtown hipster who. like worked out of the mechanic shop and. nobody wanted him there he looked like. his uncle was mechanic and wood now he.

was he had like he looked kind of like a. like a real real shitty Jon Snow he look. like Jon Snow mixed with the weird guy. from girls who [ __ ] this every that's. every single hipster in Fishtown yeah it. looks like a driver you know how the. the Darth Vader dude like Dodgers cousin. or whatever hates with John Adam driver. Adam driver yet looks I love that guy. he's a good actor for sure but not that. guy this here. did you really last year what's his deal. good boy.

nothing who's just studying Bill burr. that's cool there's no story I just saw. him and said XO. kylo Ren rules ok he said thanks weirdo. do you actually smash dude did you. actually smash a chick you actually. think she's hot you should have asked. him yes - tag is she hot what's her name. Lena Dunham.

ren-dono lately dad um you're talking. about girls dogs hot dude how dare you. how much would they pay him ruff for. that smash see I do have to pay me more. difference like yeah that's what you. have to pay like I'd rather be I'd. rather be in behind the candelabra he. sure got more credit dude like right now. yeah like we should have treated him. like a first responder dude like you you. ran in there when no one else would yeah.

Matt Damon probably shuffled it was like. girls yeah uh Michael Douglas's Jesus. you're like do I would a million bucks. for being on girls and like pretending. to butt-fuck that lady or jerking off. Michael is i checking off Michael. Douglas I think he like rowed out all he. likes straddled Michael Douglas I didn't. see it that's the end that's the inside. scoop of Hollywood I need did let's get. hard when he was on top of them I say.

yes if somebody's crying on you like. that I bet he got hard with Matt Damon I. was riding him that's a weird getting. that [ __ ] Catherine zeta-jones [ __ ]. for too long did you just switch it up. true and then you got I think you got. throat cancer like immediately after. what after he did that movie yeah Wow. just saying God word. yeah get their bikes did we are Isis oh. yeah so then I I'm like.

I'm walking just talking [ __ ] to this. guy following him as far as I can go and. then I see fireworks go off again his. pals dude we're up and yet they're still. at it. I did a full probably fifty meter sprint. towards like six dudes and through they. [ __ ] fly flew dude I'd scatter dude I. would - I was terrified I was a new I. was a menace so I yeah yeah there I ran. chase them yeah that was like a Grand. Theft Auto level like where the. civilians are already running for some. reason always bother me I go out like.

try to kill you there the whole blocks. already spiriting I gotta chase them I. feel as I do then I'm captain X as hard. as you could they ran - I had like. stopped Nick they ran into this house. all right inside and there's a girl. outside and I was like I was like dude. tell whoever's in here - stop [ __ ]. lighting fireworks and they're like the. girls like Viers nearly all drunk and. shitty and I was like shut the [ __ ] up. you [ __ ] Bob got blood dropped a lot.

of retards at people yeah that was that. was getting thrown around a little willy. nilly at the lake house and I didn't. like it really people were using it I. was using it we were using it in the. morning I was trying to get coffee and. somebody was like [ __ ] coffee. machines made by retards and I was like. Lois let's slow down with the retards. I was anger first of all you use it. they're using it wrong yeah Oh your user. angers correct you really yeah dude. speaking of retards how about Louise.

special still it's like my favorite it's. like my favorite bit I mean that's. telling an old [ __ ] guy be like hey. you're not [ __ ] anymore. hi that what did you did you cure it how. we're not even working on it I'm working. on it it's not calling you that that's. so funny yeah dude I'm not a mama I'm. very mad about the girl on the front. porch talking [ __ ] she I mean they all. dude I was looking at our man there was.

people on the second floor peeking out. these were people my age peeking out of. the house looking down while I was like. telling their girlfriend now see these. guys are [ __ ] losers you're a [ __ ]. loser. and I was like kind of almost about to. cry out so mad so like who says and I. was out of that stuff. like and then I saw the guy who I chased. the other way come back in the house and. I walk away and walk back to music and I. was I just saw the addresses that all. right got the address I'll be ringing. the doorbell tomorrow morning at 6:00.

a.m. sharp voice dude here's like I. don't even live here I like I don't give. a [ __ ] I'm gonna start bothering do it. hey no so now I told him you were gonna. kill them I was when I got back I was. like I will my thing you know you think. of stuff after the fact I think I will. definitely I'll light fireworks inside. your house if you guys [ __ ] keep. doing this yeah I'm gonna throw I'm. gonna bomb your house that's what I. think that's what happened in Philly at. the move the move house they're setting. off fireworks in the Philadelphia police. were just like all right you guys won't.

fire yeah you guys want fireworks we're. gonna drop a book bag of c4 off a. helicopter. hope a house full of people so it's on. right now I walk past I do recon. everyday or just today walk past the. house scope it it's still damn their. quarantine sucks dude first of all they. are quarantine Analia of a [ __ ] guy. an autistic man in a sweat suit walking. past their house every day trying to. kill one that sucks it's like an.

autistic shark dude there's an autistic. great white like possibly in the area. today I hope I remember all of them so. I'm like I can't wait to see him and be. like a girl that girls like the mayor in. Jaws she's like the fireworks are gonna. continue and the people are like now. there's a autistic great white he's gone. there was a dude outside when I was. walking home there was a guy who was.

like two doors down in his driveway just. watching it all and I walked when I was. walking home he just like gave me a look. and was like okay good you handle your. business dude handle your [ __ ] isn't it. the worst that [ __ ] emotional like. when your voice starts to slightly crack. hos enough like that I couldn't even get. my kids age I was like I have a six. month old five week because it [ __ ]. [ __ ] if I was like about to cry oh. so angry and I was so out of breath and. I was like genuinely stumped I was like. I think this. the house I might be screaming at the. wrong house then I saw the guy look down.

I was a guy you [ __ ] I see it. was yeah it was that's a tough one. yeah I stayed up for a couple hours so I. didn't get any sleep last night I was up. [ __ ] Rambo dude after your [ __ ] no I. was eating peanut butter rice cakes at. the kitchen tables like pay leave me. alone that's the one thing dude that. squashed everything Bay immediately was. like hell yeah dude oh nice very. supportive your actions. Oh danger you were treated like a hero. yeah a hero's welcome to I came home. three peanut butter rice cakes with. bananas on them some milk what else what. else do you need dude that's a sweet.

treat from your baby at night I mean did. she saw she saw it was good warriors all. be like Christ sprinting in the field. [Laughter]. dude I had I had a eye that battle I was. telling you about on the drive here mm. what do you think of that ah yeah man. that's that's the situation all right so. I'll explain it she's a nice lady. Oh Connie's lady was with us or the.

turds women he's got a new flame he's. got a nice flame going and the drive. back they were gonna dare drop me off. here in Mechanicsburg and then kept. going to Philly um she sat shotgun and. they put me in the back that's [ __ ] up. what's the rules on this so now if they. were like together for a long time I. think it I don't know if I married it. changes yeah I mean you're right should.

offer about your base you take Bay needs. to not only not Bay's need to demand a. back seat exactly that's just woman's. rules it's hot dude that's hot to me. I was dude I was thinking about it in. the car while we were driving I was like. damn my ex you stood like make you sit. in the front yeah I remember - it's a. roll it's what the babies that's just a. good hometown Central PA Bay though yes. PA girls know the rules we got this. uppity City chick sitting shotgun I'm in.

the back yeah I mean just do just from a. [ __ ] like tactical perspective you. should be shotgun in case thing if. anything pops off I need out I need an. honor named for. actly you should honor they should honor. that they should honor the American. tradition of sitting shotgun well what. was the rental situation the rental. situation was a different car that. wasn't hard so we drove up in the that. was Kyla Sonja and Beezus didn't you. supply the house oh I bought I paid for. it yeah everything that's shotgun bro I. mean that's it was enough that O'Connor.

O'Connor felt shame for his family did. it was very really sure he felt this. very dishonor beer offered me the keys. to drive and that's a good out that's a. really puts her in the back I mean if he. oh yeah I'm indirect though if he had. been like yo I might let me you know hop. no yeah yeah she woulda loved it dude if. he had relegated her to the back like yo. back seats a little more roomier babe.

huh but you know struck out back there. this is a new ona it's a tough one this. is a new relationship that's this is. like you got it you got to get her in. the back there I mean dude now this is. this put me into a so this was this. morning when we were had to we had to. pack and leave yeah somebody's air B&B. is you always have to leave at 10 a.m. hate this it's a ridiculous rule but had. to pack in all a so so I was awake at. 9:00 a.m. I was not excited man that's.

too early. oh man I was a cranky man already you're. already having a tough time well. thankfully I planned ahead and only I. went to bed of like two totally sober. had a nice night what um yeah I saw her. put her book bag and a shotgun while we. were like bringing stuff out to the car. and I for the next 20 minutes while. packing I was livid. I'll get this in the back for you it's.

got an orange dude that's a sick move of. like I just took me back to like going. to like the mountains it's off my family. when you get packing and like somebody. just like five minutes left the packing. is honkers doesn't show up grab the. birds out in the move was a good move. I'll give her that she but it was if she. claimed it and I you know I had to come. to terms with. it was a real torment I was it's. confusing cuz they're part of me is like.

I should I should be sitting there and. then the other part of me was like. you're an adult yeah this is it's weird. for you to be upset about who's sitting. where where did you end up grappling. with those two I set directly behind her. and just [ __ ] any kind of seat. giverny I made the [ __ ] stood are you. kidding me it was like it was it was. like what someone reclines on a train or. an airplane I was [ __ ] the whole time. [Laughter].

with the Frankenstein yeah I was [ __ ]. I'd like actually double slaps the sides. of our lair like I I don't know though I.

think I'm right on this I mean it's a. that's a toughie I mean again I think. the only thing you can do only the. O'Connor gonna do is feel ashamed just. shame in that he did a shame it's just. kind of like damn this is wrong. he saw me see her put her book bag in. the front seat and heard me laugh.

I'd be dogged I hate I'd hate to be in. that position that's a tough one cuz and. she's yeah she's nice and smart enough. like if you were like sit in the back. she'd be like what are you [ __ ] 12. I mean like are you sexist no are you 11. like walk in the back she'd hit you with. the sexism yeah yeah I am in the back. this is one of the last true American. sexism zwi are allowed to still have. women sit in the back when there's men.

yes sound goes dude I mean I just know. supports me she Rosa Parks made heart. really yes she sat in the front I was in. the back I was like I should be up there. that's true I say you need to get up. who's Rosa I'm trying to decide for. who's Rosa Parks in this scenario right. now she used Rosa Parks she said I. thought yours and you were no I was. angry what you're an angry white I was. an angry white down there just like. what's she [ __ ] doing up there. this is defying societal roles oh my god.

but yeah so that was all day that was. and then you know O'Connor's car is a. piece of [ __ ] that has no like the odd. the audio is destroyed you can only. listen to the radio how they how they. deal with it. shoot some questions early on about the. sound system thanks bro. that's gonna be it's in the shower right. now it's in the shop as we speak dude no. but she's a good baby I hear but it was. uh but you know I mean that's something.

we got an indica it's a tough call I. mean all you mentally need to seat the. whole time. making the most uncomfortable ride I. need to see for the first for longer. than I should have. did you for a while and then I realized. I don't think it was doing anything yes. I was doing that did she say anything. didn't say a word. there's no ID even knew that there was a. battle going on but there was and then I.

spent probably we've spent a good like. 45 minutes of me talking about how sick. Trump was both of them so you're doing a. PSYOP say you're doing a fly off going. on getting after whatever I could. [Laughter]. honestly like the last knee to the back. you mean like a [ __ ] and sitting and. being like I think Trump's handling.

close that one-minute break of like. what's next. [Laughter]. horrible stuff I was texting. Mullen and Mullen was giving me the. rundown I was like you know I'm fighting. with [ __ ] gay-ass liberal people tell. me what to say cuz he knows what to say. yeah I'm an idiot I can't back it up. O'Connor O'Connor's tough to debate in. this cuz he follows it but he only. follows like extremely Democrat news. he's very like I'm like what did Trump.

dude it's bad he's like he fired the you. know the pandemic response team that we. need and I was like we need it but oh it. started under Obama how do we make it. how did we do it as a country ed we get. the whole way to Obama without a. pandemic response team oh hey - just. [ __ ] sit there maybe I'm paranoid it. seems strange that you know all of a. sudden there's this pandemic response. team started last election I was trying. to Google uh like cuz it's every four.

years is there like some sort of. catastrophe that happens right dude the. fact this is what every year there's one. over year it out oh yeah this is like. for this to happen right now not there's. obviously not there's there's nothing. this big every year but there is you. could every year every two or three. years there's like a swine flu Oh avian. flu yes just you know sorry. MERS Sarsgaard SARS SARS no soccer stars.

what are they gonna do when it comes out. to the fact that of it China they China. China China what are they gonna do and. they don't get the numbers they wanted. when they don't get the fatalities they. needed to be right yeah the left will. now this is Mullen put this in my head. today so I'm it is correct yeah if he. says something like about politics is. unlike that's totally true. he's learned it I think he he's he's an.

autistic great white as well duh yeah he. was just he was just you know like. because they said I guess the. projections the DES projections are. getting lowered to like 60,000 total or. like by August which is when it's. supposed to be kind of winding down and. it's like those numbers are flu that's. flu number four four times lower than. what everybody was freaking out and. acting even with social distancing so.

basically what the left will do is. pretend that this [ __ ] didn't hat like. the reason that it we only had low. numbers was because of them if they. wouldn't a stepped in and helped Trump. would have killed a million people so if. it wasn't for people being like so we. got to wear mast and it wasn't for. up-speak we all would be dead yeah if it. wasn't for condescending [ __ ] who. else saves the day other than. condescending [ __ ] that's all we are.

now. yeah it's true well that's dude I'm. telling you man we hit. so we're projected to hit flu numbers. and they're in big wells because we. stayed inside otherwise we did what we. did it's like now dude that's we always. food shoppers we didn't look at Sweden. yeah what's up with that. Sweden they just didn't do [ __ ] they're. like look we trust our citizens to like. use precaution just they kept bars open. they kept everything open and they're. fine and they're doing just as good as. anybody else I mean there's no real.

difference I think I said this before. imagine being in another country and. we're like people are banded together. over like everyone who's already kind of. jacked up getting sick and dying it's. like yeah dude yeah like this is killing. our eighty-five year olds with stage 4. cancer and it's like other countries. like what you have 85 year olds what we. have 85 year olds. [Laughter]. yeah I just don't get it.

if you know you guys fine even make any. sense and then uh well you could say. they're killing 85 year old yeah and. then it's like if you are you show the. symptoms and you're not like super old. they tell you like no no no we don't we. don't we don't need to test you it's. like what gives I don't know man I'm.

just glad today's the first day I felt. like I this thing's gay and it's over. yeah and then like this is gonna be the. worst week bro I'm at my mommy and. daddy's eating steak is. as bad you tell me if this is bad cuz. right now kovetz treating me pretty well. yeah dude certainly and I made certain. our pox you know I'm on Fox true all the. stand up stand up is hurting a lot but. you know that's most of my it's a good. chunk of my revenue there whatever oh.

yeah man it's uh some [ __ ] dude I. think in more than I'd say not for eight. years from now to elections from now. after Trump maybe two elections after. Trump I think second term oh yeah I mean. the Trump dynasty I think there is going. to be a party like almost like a tea. party that is going to actively platform. on wrangling pedophiles adrenochrome. there's gonna be like a yeah wonderful.

party the queueing on people are gonna. grow up yeah I do think that's gonna be. like a real political force coming up of. like the deep states that's not gonna go. away that's the future of the Republican. Party I like battling the deep state. which is pretty tight yeah that's a. tough party for me to decline and say no. to cuz that's a sick political party I'm. joining that political party 100% as. soon as release that the like we're just. our main goal is to round up pedophiles.

and you know make sure corporations. don't control our personal data oh man. dude like ours we got to get rid of. those they spent they sent a documentary. around you see a documentary one around. the group chat of the no I didn't watch. it it's not man who went rogue and. started investigating all the freaks in. Hollywood it was wrong it's pretty good. they they go into how like Disney used. to do like Disney did trade up war. propaganda and the question is is like. you think they stopped when do you think.

they stopped doing that and why and it's. like I don't think they did dude it's. like if you don't even look theory so so. Disney would they have like things from. the 40s of Disney doing like you know I. think it was like taxes destroy the axis. the axes power whatever so they were. doing things like there was. entertainment that was specifically. supposed to rile people up for civic. causes and it's like the question is. like has that ever stopped I don't think. it has. but then when people get weird about the. conspiracy stuff it's like what are the. things that they have done since that I.

think like the black like the timing of. like Black Hawk Down movies stuff like. that like when it's time to rally the. troops it's like all of a sudden there's. these you know and I I think that's case. I think that does happen I think there's. probably don't yeah I don't even think. that's a conspiracy. that's just like hey I think we can make. some money there's a lot of patriotism. right now after you know [ __ ] 9/11. let's let's put that out flight 93 well. it's not even the conspiracy is that. there is people other than purely profit. driven filmmakers who get to say who get.

the green light what like you get to say. like you know slide a script down like. say there's somebody in the CIA who gets. to talk to like a Harvey Weinstein he's. probably compromised and be like no we. need this one way you think the CIA is. in cahoots with the tightwads. yes so to speak in a fit in so many. words yes in terms of I I do believe. that it's like they could be like you. know we need this this movie to come out. now but the and again that's my dude we. need Nicolas Cage to be in 9/11 we need.

Nicolas Cage to find the stuff at the. Liberty bill get it yes but the this is. this is my with the conspiracy stuff. it's like so we get to rule the world on. overt strength and military force which. at the end of the day you need to kill. people in order to rule so the people. who are the best at killing for some. reason people don't think they would. like manipulate minds and propagandize. it doesn't make sense to me why that. it's like one thing that will totally go.

and devastate a country for oil but. we're not gonna lie and propagandize i. don't even think it's i don't even know. if it's lying i think it's just a. hundred percent what is i don't even. think that's a conspiracy dude I think. it's just wood I don't think there's. anything conspiratorial about that I. think it's just like it's nighttime. saying it's not but if you if you're you. know if you were to take let's say Oh. Connie he'd be like nah dude we're in a. total democracy we vote we have the. Senate and the Senate has the house and. the house vetoes the things and sends. them back and if everybody agrees it's. like to do Chris Koos Chris is a punk. ass dude I said I'm saying good mark ass.

[ __ ] dude he doesn't understand dude. we're ruled by people whoever has the. best killing stuff rule. wins every yes chills when you say like. all these are people who kill to. maintain power you don't think they lie. and steal and do it like the other ones. - like what the [ __ ] it's crazy the. crazy like no they vote and my vote. matter it's like okay dude I'm sure it. [ __ ] does yeah you think you control. tanks with your little button-pushing. dude you and a get the [ __ ] out of here.

please come on bro grow up grow the [ __ ]. up grow up dude this dude everyone. they're America's just a business bro. it's not this beautiful democracy it's a. [ __ ] corporation bro this is America. this is just a business. I'm camo pill keep that in mind whoo I. watched I watched killing them softly. last night and that's how it ends what. Brad Pitt giving a speech about [ __ ]. Thomas Jefferson America is just a.

business I'm here to get mine what was. TJ saying there wasn't now he was like. Thomas Jefferson was a fraud fraud he. wrote all these really beautiful words. that men went and died for and then he. went back and [ __ ] his slave wife he's. a [ __ ] liar dude all men are created. equal. please America's a business dude as a. Brad said that's what Brad Pitt said. [ __ ] rules dude I support Pitt yeah. it's true I believe anything the only.

thing that would make me like him more. is if he joined the incredible tandem of. you know Vince Vaughn and Mel Gibson. right this time I'm Mel Gibson drool. so hard dude I mean do you think it's. ever possible that the people are gonna. switch their opinion on like it you. think four years from now. Pete Hollywood will make you a trump. rules no apparently in the democrat. they're democrats true like are a part. of the political party it's like their.

strongest weapon it's like it's just. like celebrities Muslims I was thinking. about this recently too how even like. the Phil you know even if you take away. like the you know operation Mockingbird. and all that stuff but I really think. Hollywood is is just sponsored by like. tide and Downey. or it's like they just are like alright. come on hit now movin keeping those. celebrities is NASCAR. they might as well start wearing those. sponsors it's just to keep our eyes on. light I think she just have a giant. Clinton Foundation thing across the back.

of his suit he's on the red carpet it's. funny how di spawn steers zooey. deschanel. China sponsors did you get the WH Oh. like the World Health Organization now. like they're like now calling for. people's heads is China because they. were just like the head of it was just. kind of like yeah I don't know do China. China kind of rules like hey I mean.

China WH I was like you know who sucks. Taiwan you know who rules China. like who's doe enough to send out that. property Oh China who's dumb enough to. pay someone to be that transparent oh my. god it is kind of funny to China just. blatantly is like yeah we don't have it. anymore and uh World Health Organization. says we're right so well that's weird to. wonder how that happened in one week.

yeah we went from being in the news. cycle to be like the new cycle was like. he's called it the Chinese virus or. trying to whatever. oh he's races his [ __ ] and now the. new york times is like china has to pay. so I'm like what the [ __ ] would you guys. do. they're now all [ __ ] like you'll [ __ ]. China on this stuff right now where do. you see me [ __ ] like bad dude. tiny well of course John is Ben ass ho. yeah this should have been is the. commies the commies got him dude there's.

soo been on our dicks after World War. two yeah the comedy there was commies. you went around China yeah China damn. dude I mean that's it's just so funny. thinking about our enemies dude and it's. like guys we're trying to [ __ ] show. you the light man bro we're trying to. show you the path and you guys just. insist on according to tell. totalitarianism dude I know hey I'm so. [ __ ] patriotic I hate saying it I can. only say democracy dude Khaled I can't.

even yeah I can't even [ __ ] say it. dude yeah the is a funny one. I'll get into a [ __ ] one of the former. friend of mine I guess. you talk [ __ ] on me during this and I'll. think didn't even know he did that but. uh recently found out when he had a chat. he was one of the people who was like I. need to prove to him that I'm not a. sexist racist homophobic person you like. sit down and have a conversation with. him about that he had at you which is. batshit he also he recently reached out.

to criticize me for making fun of former. comic for begging on Twitter for money. mm-hmm did it name that guy whatever you. know there's a reason I didn't name him. because I don't want people being. actually mean to him yes but I don't. want people being China don't but who. were begging right now on social media. you don't think your post would be like. blazing to cross social media with all. that yeah it would be insane it's but.

also like in the discussion mean that. guy had ye two days ago or three years. ago however long was about like I was. like yeah maybe it isn't you know the. nicest thing for me to do maybe it's. kind of bad but like you know I didn't. name him and uh I don't know I think he. named me I think all of them gave quotes. to the press that I was a bad person. yeah and like I'm supposed to take the.

high road on this one. to be like not be like I have one of. them's begging I'm a bad guy and then he. was like well morally I think they might. have you know had something there yours. was more just mean-spirited I was like. you understand how morality he works. right. like I think mine was right and theirs. was wrong that's how ya changes between. people you know some Thomas acquainting. do you know you gotta understand how. things work but who grow up that's funny.

how Isaac yeah but you're bad and. they're good yeah well there's there's. was just pointing out how you were a bad. person you were just lying about calling. him a bad person yeah I don't think you. understand how this works dude that's. pretty funny but hey men so. chose what they share it's red pill blue. pill dude they swallowed the water they. swallowed mommy and daddies you know. like mommy and daddy please help. although I am about to eat steak at my. parents house victory circle this is a.

victory yeah this is a victory steak. with my mommy and daddy that's how. skillets coming by too they see the Sun. I am gonna get a chalice dude was I. gotta get chalices of fronds EW dude. yeah they're slaughtering the fattest. cat they seen you out here working. prodigal son has returned yeah bro. you're not out here on the neat bucks. being like Matt no dude we take the high. road do they go low we go I was so angry. about the fireworks he was like yeah. that's what happens when all the [ __ ]. waiters get laid off there would be cool.

let's get [ __ ] [ __ ] spunky night. dude yeah this chasing waiters around I. forgot about this because I was. obviously I was I was grinding that. grinding my gears that conversation and. then uh by the way the kid who reached. out love that kid sweetheart. he's just you know he's misguided boy. lost but um one of the there was one. dude who said that I was like being. creepy to women in the scene. I think the same guy who gave the Dass. dude I think he was the kid who slid the.

Dass on me from The Improv Theater did. your creeper yeah he was like I know. people that caught him creepy and it was. like dude what are you doing but he. posted it and then I was like oh I know. was there remember that one girl who. lied and they're like hideth hit a live. stream and [ __ ] her boyfriend on it no. you don't remember that no someone there. someone's not gonna like for yeah well. yeah I mean it's illegal what she did.

and it's a sexual crime but she was. welcomed with open arms at that uh once. open comedy club that's what up what up. I mean the hypocrisy is unbelievable. dude projections are ultimate weapons. dude you know I did a Chinese accent on. stage so yeah you know I'm sorry I got. people gotta know people got to know. it's like this is this is post covet. society dude we only been nice.

you've been your home back. the truth needs to come out and be. Beezer was like oh yeah that girl was. like actual like and then she falsely. accused a couple people of rape selected. girls a monster yeah that's that's. wicked wicked behavior yeah anyway. that's all allegedly I don't know if any. of that's true. well whatever at least you leave you. will put the alleged on a bro see no. names pure alleged that's all yeah damn. man I mean so we do it what why I will. say this I've never set out to make.

enemies dude I've just try to be me dude. it's all I've tried to do yeah otherwise. people are stopping me people just don't. want me to be me and that's that's the. most evil thing you can do come on man. exactly right I mean I just want to be. me I want to be it was just nice to. everybody yeah you were sure I might I. got you know everyone so I might I got. drunk and told people you can't do. stand-up was it that was the meanest I. got I'd get drunk abhi you should go. home fair enough dude anyway dude I.

sorry I'm harping on that you don't got. to be sorry I was just a pretty wild. [ __ ] like yeah but they were morally. correct yours was just me is it morally. correct to publicly say I'm a bad person. yes dude what I mean again people do. have to know there's there's a good. faction of people who are just I mean. again dude I'll hear anybody out here. they're signing they okay you know again. well you're saying like all right that's. your thing I'm living a whole other life. here with a whole other backstory the.

whole other set of eyes a whole other. brain whole of their heart you don't. think my [ __ ] [ __ ] appears a little. different to me or I'm out here being. pure evil. who does that dude who splits the world. like that in a pure evil and pure bad or. pure good and pure evil children bro. come on yeah children and you know to. tell Terry anus yeah you said it I can't. I can't even throw a tyrannous dude I um. yeah [ __ ] that [ __ ] I started I so I. have another audio book I started dude.

might be the best thing I've ever ever. [ __ ] put my eyes on it's called the. shallows yeah it's about I I think it's. about it what I thought it was when I. downloaded they haven't even talked. about it yet. how the Internet is changing our brain. and how like you know computers are. changing our brain and they go all the. way back I think I told you before about. when they went back to like a like. clocks and [ __ ] when like clocks got. invented and all that yeah like how. there was just like wasn't time really. and all of a sudden their people were.

like they were just ding bells make it. come on come on you guys keep it moving. with the fire and how so that was like a. technology that can't like a clock came. out people like [ __ ] man now I gotta be. at this plate like you know yeah you. were late that was a crime against God. because it was the Christian monks were. the ones who started clocks so it was. worth a year who made like I guess who. like organized society around them or. whatever like mechanics so that was why. like if you're late and people Scalla. you back then you were being a scalawag. dude it's like dude you're a sinner. you're sinning right now. God gave us time and you're not honoring.

it which is there's a funny life. arrangers they go through Harold's. pretty tight they go through all that. and then they get to books which is. writing in books and it's the funniest. [ __ ] things I talk about ancient. Greece and so you know back you know. like the oral tradition was like no one. wrote anything it was just like whatever. as much stuff as you can store in your. head that's how sick you were so I was. like if you could just memorize a ton of. [ __ ] you were the man that was all you. could hope to do and then people started.

writing stuff down and like they were. just like I think Socrates was just like. so [ __ ] lame dude I can talk for like. six hours dude why would I say anything. that's like how I feel about tinder like. oh you're funny and text please that's. how it was charming through gifts [ __ ]. you dude that's how it was with with. writing itself it was a plato was like. Socrates pupil was like oh no Socrates. writings pretty [ __ ] sick dude I can. like record these saw thoughts that I. forget I can like look at him again he.

was like pish-posh dude I'll never write. anything though they they went into like. support that the [ __ ] writing right 200. percent support the who was it Socrates. yes Socrates dude he was just like this. is and it was like it was kind of like. pissed people off because like right. again writing was something that changed. the way our brains work because it was. like there was no like the idea of. interacting with another person's. thoughts like that was nobody did it. everyone. like here's all the [ __ ] you memorize.

everyone's the same cool I'm glad we're. on this so you can't remember stuff. you're [ __ ] dumb you go farm I get to. sitting outside and like a toga and just. all day just be like and then so then. they started doing a like writing on. paper and like books and they had at. first they had you know people would. just pick up like we do now it was like. the first writing was just like you. finally a broken piece of a clay pot and. you were just like like all right I have. nine goats and you would like store that. somewhere that was like the first. writing and then they started doing I. think app IRA scrolls where it would be. like you would you take like the vine or.

the the thread of papyrus whatever the. [ __ ] it is yeah in Egypt yeah yeah right. near now you're right and you'd heat. press it like a rosin press basically. that would gave original scrolls and. then you know so that all you could have. was the [ __ ] long scrolls and then. they did wax tablets were like the Codex. where you would have a wax thing you. would scratch stuff in then you flip it. over that was the first book was just. like yeah wax tablets was that desperate. no naughty this was this is pretty. Gutenberg pre-press it's pretty print. press dude when writing first came out.

it was in a wax tablet and there was no. space between the words so it was just. like it was just a block of text that. nobody read everybody read aloud so you. would get a book and just be like by. yourself like once upon a time so they. had so then yes that that's how and then. so everything was like block text where. you'd have to sit there and try to like. decipher what the [ __ ] it said and then. eventually they started spacing the. words and doing all those like Thomas.

Aquinas saw a guy reading silently. and was like what's this guy's [ __ ]. problem what a weird yeah I thought it's. pretty [ __ ] crazy man yeah I mean. it's also funny to see people figure out. how to spell like even if you look at. [ __ ] from a hundred years ago more than. that but like you look at like Civil War. like anything from back then people were. still guessing words oh it's all. phonetic hundred percent. it was just like dude imagine no. autocorrect and you have a [ __ ] stone. tablet you got to write something in -. dude just it's it's over being like.

carving like ooh I read it out loud and. what the [ __ ] is it saying that was. cracking me up - people sitting and. reading books out loud -. selves in their apartment and only like. it'll be like the only the sickest dudes. could read. so just be a guy just like and then. there one guy had a cat that's wild man. but yeah that's it I'm a that always. makes me feel better about like you know.

being a Luddite if you will like people. that are like the Internet's of you. [ __ ] ruining us it's like well that. has literally has happened with every. single change technologically every. technological advance in human history. people have been upset about. yeah like well this is gonna ruin it no. that's it almost always helps well. here's here's my beef of the Internet. and it's like yeah writing was a sick. chew and it was like the even reading. changed the way that's why I think we. have to memorize [ __ ] and like in grade. school I think that the oral tradition.

stuck with our grade school that's why. we really we're forced to memorize all. this [ __ ] it's [ __ ] dumb but. anyway on who did you want to fill big. fill thought what's he want there he is. dude oh god damn you look good he says I. can't hear him yeah you look good. tell me looks good happy Easter to. everyone and good luck getting through.

the coronavirus during these challenging. times will only be stronger when we're. done hell yeah dude are you doing. looking for your beer it's not in here. you might have infected him bro he might. have just yeah you might have just died. but that was a good last message you. might have just got the kovat little Co. vid for Philly okay.

beat it is I'm gonna die dressed like. Oprah. oh my god he's dude he loves it he loves. getting on that camera you see how happy. was mediately at Turner DMC he's still. got the [ __ ] little kid 90s camera.

camera shy when you you know me when you. were like a little kid and they told. Cameron your face you'd be like well I. hello. when you gonna get him a mega hat dude. he's dying for one fill you have a. maggot you have a trump hat all right. beat it I know what you're doing he's. double-fist daddy he's cracking.

Millerites. he was one of the USA ones he's got with. the presidential USA with the four or. five on the side oh just a big block you. guys that ya got to stick at it's pretty. tight um sorry I mean it no dude that. was a yes that that's what the books. about how it changed our brains in order. to be able to sit down and like focus on. a text it was like our brains were. designed to like see like a fly and what. [ __ ] that and look around yeah you.

know but not for a bad way but it. rewired our brains is just like sit and. stare at a certain thing the computer. where the computers are weird is that. it's rewiring our brains around. addictive technology which is like in. like very overtly addictive technology. with like Facebook Instagram. we're being we're rewiring our brains. around like almost like we're playing. slot machines 24/7 dude if I don't have. my phone I've been making an effort to. stop I do it all the time I make an. effort to stop looking I start feeling.

bad dude I can't check the [ __ ] stuff. I started can't scroll I'm Miss Ellie. yeah dude it has its hooks in me man. that's no I'm sure when everybody's. doing it all at the same time so nobody. my phone my phone died this morning I. went that was another thing they added. to the front seat dilemma I was no phone. oh I was just a four and a half hour. drive no phone I was warm out how do you. feel absolute war was. nothing I could do I can look at hot. girls should ask the bar okay look at. pretty girls. yeah he's you're runnin log into.

Instagram just surf Instagram. tell the it is it is for sure it's it. definitely has its drawbacks but imagine. when you I have a baby right now and. I'll catch myself and I'll have my baby. on my and I'm like I hope my hand will. start creeping for my phone I just want. to be like and this dude I'll be like. it's literally I have to choose I'm like. either I give my baby the facial like. feedback that it needs right now or I'm. like in my finance it's a real I just.

thought of this cuz you said you could. give your baby a facial you have you. better be wearing boxers if you're. having [ __ ] jizz dreams baby you take. a nap with that baby you better get mad. you'll crush it crush [ __ ] it uh what's.

a guy from the movie Porky's I haven't. seen it since I was a young boy wait he. wears he wears a condom two a day was a. young warthog at a lake with my friends. and we rented Porky's so we could see. these shower scene yep tail is almost. time. yeah you can't sleep with a baby in a. bed because you'll roll over and crush. them. dude I actually got into my I had to. make a genogram for my family therapy. class so I had to go through my mom's.

side of the family my dad's side of the. family. nice a lot of kids dying dude a lot of. dead kids only Mike correct my. grandfather's family back then yeah. that's a lot of dead but I'm talking I'm. not talking just like just like some. polio dude I'm talking like the 80s. no I'm talking back in the you know in. the day and stuff I'm talking like one. of my so there was my mom's side my like. mom's mom had a brother oldest brother.

was Thomas died at like 1 years old they. had another kid right after him named. him Thomas. they did at Thomas 2.0 which is so. [ __ ] funny and then there was my one. of my great whatever relatives 18 months. just slipped out of his mother's arms. and fell into the Schuylkill and died. pretty [ __ ] greedy another one fell. off like a white way what was this. accident. this accident yeah dude it was like my. mama baby accidentally fell into the.

river popped out of her arms bro. scuba five raging dude it's Google's. raging the best I was like Brittany like. the baby fell into the water they fell. in the water dude it's schuylkill baby. fell in her that water in the Schuylkill. 18-months did she could it shaped that. they shaped my family's psychology dude. it was like my great-grandmother's who. had postpartum depression and just. through I think he's my. great-grandmother your great-aunt was a. murderer and three grandmother on the. first side my great-grandmother was a. snail I great grandmother on my dad's.

mom's side so my my grandmother's. grandmother was married to a guy and. then one of their two children fell into. the Schuylkill and died obviously there. was a baby that fell 18 months I called. murder slipped. I'm calling murder he jumped bro he was. 18 months he sprung up the Schuylkill. was probably flying that day he was gone. washed down he's done and then you can. jump in after right away that's what I.

thought Brittany's like they jump in in. some chance baby sink bro yeah this was. a murder at the bottom you come from a. line of murderers and thieves of. infanticides dude we would never do. something like that on the gillis. Kilkenny the Gilles Koch any lineage. dude it was horrible dude it was like I. was going through I'm not acknowledging. this definite murder it was an accident. did a great great grand but why would. you admitting that it's probably a. murder if it was a 18 month old baby and. a boat roll dude you can't you just dump.

him in here on the boat Jews are like oh. the baby sprung baby went dude I would. jump in after my cell phone I mean yeah. that lady left to [ __ ] I'd sunk dude. the Schuylkill flies you ever go on the. Schuylkill. I've seen the scoop how people die. that's Google every year actually. usually for murder from some form of. murder yeah man there was that there was. I think someone fell off a wagon or some.

[ __ ] and died way back went on the other. side there's a I was like damn dude yeah. the og McCusker slash Carney lineages. but [ __ ] with like trial death of like. not even just like sick of like. accidental how's it dude that's [ __ ]. mmm falling out just boating cuz they. were like oh one kid died in a boating. accident I was like what happens I got. all this info off my hand I'm like what. happened like 18 months I think it's. like slipped out popped out of the arms. washed up and did South fumble was in a.

dude dude she was running towards the. end zone as a fumble ruse and God popped. her out yeah I saw pictures of this lady. - she looked like she was Lucy marbling. she looks [ __ ] pissed even I say her. name dude she might haunt you unless I'm. like it was a lot of family curses that. are built on stuff like this dude I. thought about that before I started on. my god I'm getting it haunted for this. but it's like put it I'm putting it out. there put it out there dude it's like.

dude that that lady's gonna come dude. you have a fighter family's hex dude. that's a hats heck stuff what type of. [ __ ] do you think put this on your fan. well probably someone back in the old. country dude back when we were kings of. Northern Ireland he would be Northern. Ireland you [ __ ] prat did not a. proper Oh. we've we fled we were Catholic so we had. fled we fled to a monster. my family was kings dude up there and. they had a fleet of Munster because. their family dude kills babies on it was.

a [ __ ] accident Jesus man. is there gonna haunt you I'll [ __ ] them. up I'm saying that baby dude they might. try to toss me into the scoot anyway Tom. this I think like it's like Jack from. Titanic dude I'd go straight to the. bottom. Britney did a that was a fair question. she's like can they jump in after it I. was like no no you go and there's life. jackets dude I get wet that thing. probably went [ __ ] straight to the. bottom eighteen-month-old they're like. all bones and fat I think what is right.

to the bottom. I don't to tell you man I know you're. defending your family's honor but. could've been that Drina crumb - salt. it's like Herbert Hoover you might have. munched true who've might have hooves. FBI might have munched on one of my. candy [ __ ] Herbert Oh Jay Edgar who. you chat talking Jay Edgar excuse me uh. yeah Herbert's good man Herbert was a. good dude he would never much talking.

Jay at Abe's dagger was get here oh yeah. all right let's uh we'll figure out a. page I was gonna have Mullen come on and. just explain all right but you know that. might not happen so don't get your hopes. up. we'll see if you get that or not you. little bro I don't have hopes bro. my family's marred by tragedy so I just. take it as it goes you know I'll see you. on the page whatever happens happens. dude it's [ __ ] dark and twisted.

include actually seem kind of ashamed of. your family's murderous past as an. artist - dude what's worse is actually. their doorman saw you drop some babies. into the scooter it happens it back then. you had a lot going on back then lot. going on see leaving over the boat she. probably looks like there's my fishes. like oh look check it out and there's. like copped out dude hit they probably.

hit it and what that was that dude I. mean it was probably going to think how. fast you like fish a phone out of the. [ __ ] toilet. if you drive like there's not even a. thought you just [ __ ] snag it it's. not a raging river dude this thing is. probably it's this dude you're acting. like this is the Colorado dude whose. nose bro scoop moves slightly like you. can swim in it oh man you're so wrong. you can smell my dad I'll call my dad. I'll get my dad don't ask him how fast. is Google goes dude he'll tell you. look I'm not denying with school Cole's. fast but Carrie you're like 40 feet.

before you know what's going on okay. I traveled as Google as a kid a lot that. somehow defense it's describing how fast. the Schuylkill is is defending your. faith way so I appreciate what you're. doing but your grandma your. great-grandma was definite. murder corners you call her a snail uh. yeah no dude his name isn't honest. accident dude every weekend but again. that's the real question is which is.

worse a genuine I was holding my baby on. a premeditated I fantasize worse. accident I dropped it in and then I am. so incompetent that a baby on a but I. lost a kid on this boat trip yeah it's. called a boating accident bro happens no. that's not close like you get hammered. and somebody fell off and you can't find. him so it might have been hammered good. habit like that point he stopped me on. that my head my body was ready to move.

with the counterpoint there was nothing. there I'm just thinking of like the. divorce that followed it and the guy was. just like grounds for the divorce he's. like [ __ ] drop my baby in the river. like okay yeah I'll be 50 bucks I mean. dude that's a [ __ ] up bro I was like. trying to I was thinking about that be. like dude imagine the might the. monumental my bad I'm like and the guy. being like yeah you did [ __ ] up so we're.

done you you you you cross and they got. a divorce this is disgusting dude I mean. this is my roots bro I I did roots I. looked back and it was glad they I'm. dude I'm so glad knowing that there was. probably there's probably some sort of. Gillis clan around to be like she. doesn't get communion she does not get. communion dude well she do the genogram. dude it was far what the [ __ ] he do you.

don't get community you [ __ ] you. murdering [ __ ] murdered who's on the mom. side it was all it was the Grom sides of. the family always suck always the worst. okay. yes although gutted alright Pat my one. cousin does kind of rule. hey I honestly genuinely enjoy my family. but that's what you said is true there's. a lot of times that sounds family. definitely rules though that's how the. family rules a lot of time I know too.

many people that I'm like digging. the mom side the family it's just chaos. what the [ __ ] is this my mom so family's. definitely my grandma hi my camp posted. a picture oh dude I got two good ones. did I tell you my right what are we. doing I tried to wrap it up a minute ago. this is good I uh might there's a family. group chat mm-hmm and my mom my sister. gave my other sister's kids some slime. to play with like gak yep and they're.

there my sister sent a picture to the. group chat was like they loved the slime. and then my mom I guess tried to use. gifts search for like slime and it was. just a facial it was just a gif of a. facial it she put it in the [ __ ]. group chat as a response it was like. faith it was it was not calm [ __ ] it was. uh [ __ ] dude it was it was like pancake.

batter. I mean it is a gif of my facial oh my. god you know I didn't she thought she. was putting up like a family double dare. ya see I don't I don't know how she. missed it fathers it's clearly it's. because girl that's why I dude just no. one's ever probably blasted her face. you're a good girl you don't look at. pancake batter on someone's dude think. so my mom download imagine your thirty.

two-year-old son coming home and being. go down to the basement mama definitely. [Laughter]. sorry I'm sorry I'm doing goddamn it. shouts all the ladies I got like.

hardcore porn stuff back in the 70s. David like old old like generation 1. [ __ ] day that's wild yeah I don't like. that. there's [ __ ] there was another story. your mom sent a facial yeah I'm certain. facial gift that was pretty good that's. what's good for the family that's good. for us to bond over what were the gifts. that followed it anyone send any real. deals no more gifts after it was mostly. just people saying oh my god oh my god. mom what are you doing what yeah it was.

caught she responded how she respond. well you guys are perverts there's. nothing took the defensive she called. you huggers. she's calling everybody else pervs oh. yeah my aunt my aunt posted on Facebook. and was like national siblings day also. r.i.p this dog the family's dog was in. the picture of the died also her sibling. died and both her parents that were also. in the picture. it's pretty funny to shout out like Oh. r.i.p otto the dog and her to my parents.

and sister anyway that was fun stuff fun. stuff good stuff dude I mean they're. just having fun yeah I'm starting. twisting my lineages dude you got. [ __ ] dark twisted lineage bro someone. fell off a [ __ ] wagon to kid [ __ ]. sprang off a wagon and fell my aunt was. like either it was a disease or you. don't fling a wagon I bet your grandma. was in the back of that just like your.

great-grandma was a dirty I can't. believe it bro these actors clumsy bro. she's a klutz excuse her have mercy on. her bro I loaded tortured tormented life. yeah I mean regardless she did live it. tortured tormented life I mean whether. that was an accident or hurt oh sure. good fair point by now I mean your baby.

can keep you up at night and then you. know you're on a boat trip you all this. thing's been doing this [ __ ]. screaming he's just on a boat trip like. if I just open my arms right now all. goes away anyway so you have that in. your blood. yeah shame. drama yeah it's pretty tight maybe you. are twisted yeah how's war mode I.

haven't listened to it it's [ __ ] sick. I gotta listen to it I might join their. page they talk about like underground. tunnels and stuff it's pretty tight all. the mold children the mole children feed. the mole children yep there's a I just. looked at a tweet where like all those. queue and on people were like figuring. out the proper terminology to use for. the mole children police presence was. that too insensitive. no Billy said he's gonna adopt them he. should have a house of mole children he. say he's not gonna have kids just so. we're gonna doubt the mole children it's.

pretty funny they talk about a bunch of. [ __ ]. nice one Mose let's check out war mode. that's alright that's our latest. creation that's our latest spawned I. might be like your great-grandma I might. drop one of these pockets nudge one of. them off wagon oh my god fantastic all. right dark app dude there's nothing. talking about I don't know it seems to. be like actually father dude I feel like.

I'm ready dude when he had haunted that. is now cuoco style I mean that's what. how cuoco does it feeds off the children. sorry I thought I saw some dude I'm in. my basement right now I don't want I'm. not I would never but you need to be. extra vigilant there's all well why well. because Oh cuccos definitely be looking. at family - curse you I mean dude I am. so careful with that [ __ ] that's the. thing - I have a baby now and I'm like. one false [ __ ] like I'm walking. through the hallways at nighttime oh. yeah.

one you know you walk through you bang. your elbow on the doorway instead of my. elbow that's my baby soft [ __ ]. growing head now so I have creeper and. I'm like so conscious of what I'm doing. it's it's tiring yeah I hate I hate I. really hate having a baby around for. that reason yeah like if somebody brings. over their baby to like the house or. something I'm like somebody told me a. story about like a baby was there was. like a family party and one of them. crawled under the [ __ ] recliner Oh. someone squished it and got up someone. squished your girl grandma was at this.

party and score. the [ __ ] baby doorbell rang Domino's. hit the recliner down and then just. while you're paying just like man I. heard something in that couch um yeah. ever since that I've I've always heard. that story I'd be like man had so good.

scare you squirt your kid in the [ __ ]. lazy boy that's that's terrifying dude. that's why you know last night I was. just fighting for my my mind my child's. life last night against those [ __ ]. jackals you did the right thing I was a. ghost to my grandma dude I came back and. got full [ __ ] revenge you did the. right thing dude I did shamed him you. should have you probably posed like. [ __ ] Ed Norton in American History X. how's that the cops came just after you. [ __ ] chase them off through the cops.

came he just smiled with your white. nationalist propaganda on your hoodie no. this dude he was in the California. prison system do you grow up prison. politics grow up dude I'm grown dude I'm. grown ass heard that yeah and let me. know what you wonder with the page we'll. figure it out all right oh hey yeah I. think he just texted me and said he. needs to play doom for the rest of the. day fair enough. [Laughter].