O'Connors new leaf

and we're live baby we're on wow we're. good to go. a lot of people are going to be this is. really live no it's not really live i'm. just saying it's live right now because. we've started. yeah though it's live for us look at the. ocon man. yeah it's set up dude chris you guys. you've gone dark on me dude i haven't. heard from you in a little while. i do i haven't talked i haven't spoken. to a soul. in three or four days stop rocking. how have you been how have you done.

thanks man thanks for the solidarity. matt it's gliding right. you're not hearing any it's gliding you. know no you you look you look. comfortable man. thanks man that's good he's being. [ __ ] satanic dude one minute into it. he's being safe. yeah no i had to check out i had to. check out from the whole world. i am satanic dude why do you think i'm. out in the desert i don't know. i know not be this what where are you is.

this video right now. shane this is the uh yeah this is where. he does the podcast but this is a bar. too like this is the. senior that's the senior frogs yeah look. at the internet's out dude. disaster wait what's it what what the. [ __ ]. video is that i don't know i don't know. what they were watching. i was in my room playing civil war. generals you're like goddammit. dog the internet down dog.

yeah i was scrambling yeah that [ __ ]. i would stress me the [ __ ] out man. yeah it's out apparently it's out in all. of bisbee. what the [ __ ] you know what uh. it was mid i was mid alex jones and the. [ __ ] internet went out. it turned out to stop him it was while. he was saying he was gonna get murdered. really yeah dude he's getting too close. to. bill and melinda gates foundation. that's criticism.

[Laughter]. yo connor you've been locked down for. like four days you said you didn't talk. to anyone. yeah yeah i haven't been i've been. keeping it dude i needed to just. reset what'd you do. uh nothing just like just i just like. stopped losing. who's that who's walking around. it's chilly what's. uh yeah no i just there's all the. podcast [ __ ] here hell yeah. i've been just trying to get used to.

mitch hedberg's manager right. now yeah the last the best and last tour. yeah nice. anyway sorry what was going on with you. chris nothing i just i needed i need to. reset i would like i like freaked out. and then um i just needed i needed to. like. just start i started like cooking up. stuff what are you spazzing on yeah walk. us through the freak out that's what i. want to know. uh i i was i think i was just dealing.

with the fact that like uh. i think stand-ups being gone i don't. know it was like i was gone for so long. we were like on vacation. basically we were i was like in south. carolina and then in the woods. so the uh the quarantine hadn't hit me. yeah. oh yeah and i came back and uh yeah i. was hanging out with that girl. and she was hanging out like a lot. yeah you're hanging out one day you had. turning up an old mac. yeah yeah yeah. dude my world changed too much my world.

changed too much i had like. i everyone had gone inside and i had. gotten a girlfriend and i was like would. you say. would you say bae forcing me to sit in. the back seat was kind of the beginning. of the. unraveling yeah that was that was. junk dude i was layers deep into the. madness. at that point where it's just like you. know. there is i was like was that my movie. falling down you're like michael. that was like just one fly on your. windshield oh my.

i mean you had decided early on that. that mayhem was the order of the day i. mean as soon as she showed up it was. like. it's classic let's see if we can [ __ ] a. connor's. world up and then so that's that's how. you took it. yeah yeah you you oh he went in he went. from. he went from great friend to new. new boyfriend mode like i just like.

me and uh me and her gonna go hang out. we're gonna go on the boat. you guys just dude just left his old. friend in the dust. i literally there's not a single time i. think i went out on that boat that i. didn't. immediately day one i was like all right. nobody go to the grocery store we'll. we'll. put a list together we'll all go day one. chris and bae. immediately go to the grocery store. without telling anybody. no that's not true i texted i texted. shane i texted shane. i was like do you want to go to the. grocery store and then an hour later i.

hadn't heard anything. oh yeah yeah yeah because this was the. first time chris had woken up before 2. p.m on the entire trip and was really. shoving it in everyone's ass. as you do it was 11 30. yeah thanks for. the song. good to see you solidarity this is matt. and chris's podcast dude i'll just hang. out. i'll be leaving i knew that was i knew. that was the beginning of the end. james looking directly at me through the. website i'm.

furious dude you think i'm happy. i'm [ __ ] ticked why are you ticked. man you made it happen what are you. talking about. because you you you're my am i supposed. to be my staunchest allies immediately. siding against a dude. i'm not a sycophant dude you don't you. can't have a sycophant. and so you think it was right what chris. did the way he acted to wake up early. and go to the grocery store. [Laughter]. all right so literally the night before. it was like i literally let's all wait. and put together a list so we don't have.

to send. a bunch of people out to the store at. once. then it was every single person going to. the store every single day. that's a problem stealing cars it was it. was mayhem dude i was. stealing any cars i also woke up to. chris. [ __ ] that day as well so i was also. very unhappy about that. why that upset me too that was walking. through that what was going on what were. you here. his room was above mine dude this [ __ ]. i woke up to a creaky bed. and it was lovers dude it was a lover.

i mean they immediately escaped together. it was a honeymoon i paid for their. honeymoon. is what happened i rented a house for. them to have a date. i'd walk out to the hot tub full they're. on top of each other kids can be like. [ __ ] it i'm going back inside yeah i. paid for your honeymoon. total misrepresentation what first dude. south carolina wonderful loved you yeah. immediately bae gets in the picture bye. bye chris.

no. come on man what come on man let him let. him get it let him get his act together. dude. let him have love no look i'm all for. him getting his act together. i want it but i don't want it to be fake. dude and i could see right through his. charade i was.

i was i was being a good i was being a. good friend the whole way. i was trying they were out i did i did. also outside forces. huh yeah they were outside stressers. the whole group came together the group. came together we had one. rough week two by the end of it. everybody was united we had a nice boat. ride that boat ride was. unbelievable magical damn reminds me. what was that movie with the uh.

bird box or whatever o'connor's like. machine gun kelly dude he's got a girl. they had sex in the laundry room and. then left. oh yeah when they have sex in the. laundry room they steal the car and take. off. it was it was that kind of that's not. even though you're mgk. that's not even close to a hot tub. instead of a car. what did you do what'd you get when you. came back with a girl you commandeered. that tub dude you guys i. i barely hung out in that tub i barely. hung out in that was any sort of sex hat.

in the tub. any sexual assault before we had sex we. had sex once in the tub. and i i i did not initiate it. look at me if i was out in the lake i. was just enjoying. some time not under your gaze.

you guys haven't you breathing down my. neck did you guys at least mutually. masturbate. [Laughter]. dude it was a total nightmare scenario. literally that first morning for some. reason i like it. i didn't even think about the fact that. it was like dangerous to go to the. grocery store. and like i was like oh we'll just go. again. that was like i was like yeah she wants. to [ __ ] go it's 11 30. i haven't. heard from. you it was bay's wishes he immediately.

followed ben yeah there's no backbone. here this is bay's wish it was bae trip. i paid for bait trip. how did the where did the bait go how. did you make sure to say that. what you know babe beforehand or did you. guys just meet like. that changes the range of marriage i. just remembered you spazzing. during congress yeah. dude i freaked out i finally broke and. just passed. rummy i freaked out you know honestly.

i had i was justified in that freak out. you've you've been justified this whole. time. right that rule that rule what now what. was the freak out what happened no no. i i like i was just dude you guys were. acting like. you guys were on the real world no cams. dude i was. acting like a [ __ ] eight-year-old he. was throwing cards. after every hand no i threw it once that. was the spell. at least twice at least twice because. the second time i was like dude stop. throwing the [ __ ] cards and you're. like [ __ ] relax.

it's like all right i'm pretty [ __ ]. relaxed that's not. that was that that's not how it was tell. us how it went this is the second time. first i apologize i want to i want to go. on the record i apologize. for everything the way i acted in the. way i treated you for three weeks the. way i treated you i'm sorry. this is it's brutal see how she just. shoves his. shelves into your face and now you have. to do a thing where it's like you didn't. do anything wrong you didn't do anything.

wrong. you didn't do anything wrong that's what. i'm saying don't worry man no no. this is it's brutal how did you guys why. you've been in lockdown. what oh this is part of why you've been. in lockdown this is part of it. this is part of it just like dude. there's no there's no worse situation. than having an angry shane. and a girl that you can't not pay. attention to hold on one second. i have a god we back baby we are my bad. my bae was running the blender it was. loud as f yeah but it's strange because.

oh connie we had it we had such a good. there was just. one of the three weeks were bad yeah. it's not bad south carolina was great. now also keep in mind i was i was. politicking hard. it was i was i was the media because i. wasn't the only one who. disliked the new oconee oh who else who. else was upset about that it only leaves. like. everybody it leaves two people.

they were in their bedroom a lot they. were like inside the whole time. what was i do what was i i don't. understand what i was doing. no it was just you were happy so. everybody hated you. that was exhausting it was exhausting it. was exhausting and then like. we had a good week and i was like oh my. god. oh my god i'm gonna get to be alone i'm. so excited. and then and then she took shotgun.

and i was like oh no and i was like look. you're gonna need to you're gonna need. to sit in the back. and she was like she was like i will. literally throw up if i have to sit in. the back seat. and i was like yeah that's a thing dude. you you moved her seat i i moved her. seat all the way up so her knees were. literally touching the airbag. my name is still touching her seat and i. was [ __ ] jamming her.

i was jamming her early on which i. didn't even know i didn't even know. i'll throw up if i sit in the back. because i don't want to sit in the back. or like i feel nauseous because she'll. get like motion sickness. she handled that bow pretty well yeah. yeah. dude you should have put it in the test. you should have put her to the test. and be like throw it up but we'll see. we'll see yeah. i mean yeah yes we'll switch.

oh my god it is literally like it's it's. that's. that's what that's what the struggle. with the first week was just like. who do i choose to have just furious at. me. and then. then it's like i can't even [ __ ] without. this bed. screaming through the household it's it. wasn't even like i'm doing anything. literally like if if you rolled over in. this bed it was like.

bru it felt like i don't know it felt. like. i was in some [ __ ] i don't know like. eternal sunshine for the spotless mind. or you're in some like weird. alternate universe where it's just like. everything i do. is as loud as possible damn i can't. believe that lake house trip broke you. dude. oh it's [ __ ] me up had a [ __ ] work. oh yeah. what happened how did it [ __ ] you up it. wasn't. it was so stressful it must have been.

very stressful for you. so stressful yeah oh because you were. dealing with because it's like. here's this person that i don't like i. mean yeah dude. it was one of those things where like i. i. is like three days into that trip. i was like how if i felt like i don't. know how did i. how did i calculate this so poorly. because i knew going into i was like.

i was like well yeah you know. i for some reason i was like no no this. ordinarily i would. never do something like that but i was. like well i don't know this could work. in this situation i was like this might. be able to work. this was matt this is what are you doing. who what dude. this is a this is a brand new related. he's known her for like a month and then. they lived together for two weeks. oh man oh yeah that's why i'm getting. that. yeah now add to that i was trying my. best to make him spazz for no reason.

that's a nightmare dude like i'd be very. surprised i'd be i'd be edging him as. hard as i could to get like during rummy. when he spazzed the whole time i was. like well i'm winning. this is the first time i played it too i. understand the rules yeah like i was. winning one yeah yeah. shade was also destroying your. relationship well yeah he was also. slipping into like genuine hate. oh yeah for sure yeah yeah he was like. yeah he i had seen the the worm had.

turned or whatever the [ __ ]. expression is like i've seen. yeah i like you know i i don't when. shane decides that someone is an. irredeemable. [ __ ] is done it's just. like i know the look i know the tone. and it's just like all right well i'm. gonna ride this out for two weeks. he was glad he was glaring at you yeah. yeah no i just. i literally was acting like he didn't. exist for a few days oh yeah. i just i just walked around anything i. would say anything i would say if i.

tried to be funny at all. like eh. [Laughter]. i remember those examples that was. genuinely me trying to break the ice and. be like all right i am. being mean but i'm just [ __ ] around. like i came up. like five different times and i was like. i forgive you i forgive you.

how could that be considered aggressive. that is so funny dude. like walking up behind him and. whispering in his ear and be like you. [ __ ]. [ __ ] ass that was funny that was funny. but that. like and then i did i did take that as. like all right all right whatever. everything's gonna be fine. but then it was like later on that night. it was right back to just like. dude everything everything i said was. just. pulverized well i can't and the looks.

the mean looks. i can't really uh i shouldn't even be on. the air right now i can't i can't. explain. i can't properly defend myself in this. situation i shouldn't even be on the air. right now. i had the goats on the refrigerator and. nowhere. yeah he grabbed his waist. [Laughter]. what if he invited you in for a devil's. t i shouldn't jug like that as your. girlfriend don't even make satanic jokes. so that's that's a purely satanic joke.

you know. yeah that was oh man i was laying out my. theory last night on the patreon of. satanic self-confidence dude. that was that was my whole thing i was. talking about what's satanic. self-confidence. self-confidence after only the behest of. others. what are we what are we doing illuminati. stuff. illuminati stuff dude story when you hit. top 20 on patreon you joined the. illuminati we're illuminati now. damn you guys have hit top 20. yeah yeah.

except i. checked all the we don't have our money. out our numbers and i looked at the. other people's numbers and they they. bought [ __ ] us because they charge more. for their patreon. we're true patriots to charge one dollar. true that damn. true that but you're you're missing out. on the point chris. that i did forgive you and welcome you. back into the fold. and i allowed you to despite your. immense shortcomings. i let you back in and i rallied the.

other half of the house. to stop being [ __ ] sour pusses as. well. question fair question did you have any. hand in poisoning the other half of the. house against o'connor. no i truly start to finish was trying to. like. be like hey everybody let's all get. along. with within that yes why why did they. beezer and kyle why were they upset. about. the the con man dude in love. well it does suck to see o'connor in.

love. it does suck i'll admit that trust me. it's tough to explain it's very annoying. to be around. all right it'd be awesome. yeah i don't want a happy o'connor he's. useless to me. oh my god the word dude get off me satan. dude the words of satan himself. oh my god what are you talking about. yeah dude you would say. did you read the uh patreon comments at. all no.

it was so fun there was such a mix of. people being like. [ __ ] god damn it these [ __ ] red. pill cove intakes this is [ __ ]. this is real. dude it goes to the back it goes back to. what i'm saying it's it's [ __ ] it's. news porn addicts dude these people are. just like. oh that's [ __ ] it's like why expect. break it down to me bro. explain yeah and also if we're on here. screaming that we need to bring ar-15s. to the state capital to reopen the. economy. we're obviously we're obviously [ __ ].

kidding speak for yourself dude true. yeah i know it is it is fun it is funny. uh. people like god damn [ __ ] through. there one of them on there they're like. [ __ ] mullen already ruined a calm. down episode with this crap they're. [ __ ] blah blah blah it's like. dude easy. it's funny you said that it's funny you. said that matt the other day i was uh. here i was taking a piss and uh i like. accidentally nut-tapped myself when i. went to. pull my pants down yeah and uh i just.

instantly. i did the the kenny powers when he hit. it when uh what's it he goes. easy find myself taking a piss and i was. like. easy after you hit yourself in the nuts. dude somebody's trying to hear that that. is funny someone gave me a hot tip. i meant to shout this person out a long. time ago from i think just the reddit. so i was talking about how i was. constantly dripping like i'd get into. bed and i'd be all dribbly and i'd get. like you know a [ __ ]. deal with all that which is the.

infuriating thing to get in trouble for. because you're guilty of bringing urine. into the bed. and you know oh yeah all right yeah i'd. get into bed and i'd be drink might take. a pee and i would. be dripping everywhere dude she'd be. like oh my god i'm like he's [ __ ]. whatever dude. you don't understand some dude told me. if you push up the bot like the you trap. under your. your dick and balls there's like a like. the bottom of a sink. if you push that up it drains all of. your drips out of you. yeah i heard that i heard that at work. what i've tried it doesn't do anything. you might have clogged you dude you.

might have clogged you trapped. no without not anymore you probably blew. that thing out. and i was swimming in it in my tongue. you're just picking like liquidy silky. ropes out of the house. a silky rope go past his face like. disgusting. [Laughter].

dude i can't i don't know shade's frozen. j's frozen oh there we go moving from me. wait were you not frozen oh he's not. frozen he's just stone-faced. he's just stone-facing disapproval. [ __ ] my internet connection's unstable. there you go it's all right that's all. right just took a second. i will [ __ ] spaz dude let me pause it. let me pause it secure the line is your. oh his lines are here hold on pause wait.

it looks good. there we go we're back jumping while i'm. walking up here. i'm just trying to see if your internet. connection is good or not dude if i stay. out here the rest of this podcast i will. get such a bad sunburn. you might get some poisoning dude damn. [ __ ] it's the desert bro you have a. parasol. wow. you should walk through the gas station. with a parasol. just buy peanuts.

yeah dude i need to get one like the. judge bro yeah man. used to pair us all out of flesh dude. out of o'connor's [ __ ]. flesh. i'm safe and sound i'm safe and sound. here in philadelphia a little bit longer. bud and then guess who's coming back oh. my god. connor what's up it is bae are you still. with bae right now what's the deal. no she went she went home where'd she go. uh she went back to this house i think. for another week yeah yeah.

and after the lake dude it was great. she's like cool but i just. i was like i need i need. it's the weirdest thing to just be like. i like you this is good. i need you to go away and not talk to me. for like a week. yeah i mean dude that's a lot if you. just know each other and basically. live you gave her you gave her the. experience dude you gave her the. contact she she had the contact. experience. yeah he had a boyfriend you guys still.

talk or what's the deal. yeah yeah gotcha which is yeah which is. yeah. crazy why is it crazy that that's even. happening well i mean. again just i was a lunatic. it is so [ __ ] hot up on this day. yeah what's the temperature down there. it is so hot right now. no it's it's probably like high 80s. today but the sun down. here is [ __ ] intense it's bright as. [ __ ] dude do you want to pause and get.

aviators bro. i could get my sick ass up to you dude i. don't. know i don't like people you guys keep. chatting all right go ahead go for it go. rip it. i'm gonna go get my [ __ ] sick ass. hell yeah. yeah yesterday uh yesterday on the page. i was laying out my theory my uh this. was my. this was a main this was a big thing for. me i figured out. why i didn't like stand up for so long. and it has to do with a thing that i've. i've coined a term called satanic.

self-confidence where. you meet a lot of the. a lot of the should you ever like work. with a headliner and they're just you. know they're selling out they're doing. well and they're just miserable as [ __ ]. and they're like oh yeah features who. are back there like i know this guy i. know this guy too. it's all i was dealing with i was like. just do it when i just started like. featuring and hosting and healing him. it was just like i need [ __ ] you know. i think i first opened for like heather. mcdonald. brad trackman's the [ __ ] feature both. are [ __ ] safe.

both are clearly satanic and it's just. like heather mcdonald's giving me all. these crazy [ __ ] credits to remember. and. brad trackman's like no i got the same. manager the. and they're just [ __ ] having this. weird battle that was my uh. the worst green room ever to be in it. was dude it was [ __ ] hell but that. was my theory. that the con it's like this is this. level of. it's a level of confidence that you need. to it's not like a self thing where. you're like i'm just i'm the person you. need to just be.

looking down you have to be a part in. your mind yeah that's crazy people are. people who are. people who are like crazy about credits. and [ __ ] like that also just like. yeah you can't help but that's it that's. the eye of sauron. yeah we're talking about satanic. self-confidence and how. it's it's credit credit hounds being. like what are your credits. and it's what's crazy too is that it's. when you're in that situation when. you're in that room it's like it's hard. not to be like wait am i these people.

that was my problem i like these two i. want a feature. like i want to go i want to go up to the. next thing like yeah am i just. am i on the road to heather mcdonald and. brad trackman is that what is that my. future. well i'm telling you we all have it's. the shadow we all have it but it was. funny i was talking to spud today. and spud was like spud spud was talking. about he hates when comedians talk about. just doing comedy and they're like oh my. craft. blah blah and spud's like dude i'm a. master painter if i were to walk around. and be like.

looking at people who didn't paint. houses and be like they just don't. understand dude what i can do. it's like people like shut the [ __ ] up. for some reason comedians are like man. yeah i mean you just don't understand. the scene. he's like what the [ __ ] scene are you. talking about imagine if i was like. the delaware county painting scene. people like shut the [ __ ] up. well people do love that they do love. that stuff what. they love like the artist tutorial kind. of. some some do some do i mean maybe if you.

had a painting podcast. it might be appropriate but that's. that's my i think because stand-up. requires a job that requires a gazillion. people to be there when you do it well. they praise you. so if there was a if you painted that. you're saying like an artist really. painting you know a. zillion people bought it or whatever it. is the same thing it is funny though. it is a funny way to think about it just. to be a youtuber i listened to. i listened to war mode the third episode. last night it was so [ __ ] funny it's. unbelievable bro.

it's so [ __ ] funny war modes their. podcast really is. i mean i gotta get into that i gotta say. next level yeah. it's the next level [ __ ] funny dude. what are they what are they talking. about on there. just how they did the best story was. them trying to get bae. they were like well it's always about. it's always about securing bay which is. so funny. but they were like uh there was. apparently there was a bunch of chicks. down by. down by the scoop dude down by the. schuylkill and they were out digging. digging from cobblestone they were like.

oh this is going to be good this is. going to impress the bays. we're out programming we're out working. and they're like the based didn't bat. not well no they had two female patrons. and their fa their female patrons left. and spud went into like a total. depression thing and the girl fans left. he said all they called girls chiggs. like all the chigs left. dude it's the funniest one it really is. funny it's it's awesome.

it's there man it's it's the best hi. have you been ripping any contact. episodes. yeah i'm putting them out i put out like. a new one and a patreon. recently oh nice patreon yeah you're. making an honest go of it. do you should we help you do you want me. to help you with that. yeah yeah yeah i'm going to try to like. i'm going to try to make sure you're. sorry for the way. i'll see if i can't get you a couple. hundred bucks a month. this would be like like the fourth time.

i like got on a knee. and apologize for being a total [ __ ]. spazz. i'm pretty even keeled and he's pulled a. couple he can definitely genius spazz. out of the. oh my god it's a it's a gift man. it really is thank you mac now that's. solidarity. i'm dude i just call it how it is bro i. just that is that's a gift bro. your ability to make people spazz i. would love. again if if we get some dude on like you.

know. uh just some random do like a high. profile dude if you can just we could. have a podcast of you getting. celebrities to break down in spaz. that might be i would be the happiest. person in the world. i feel bad about it well here's the. thing dude it's like uh. because you get a green mile it's like a. green mile though it takes a lot out of. me. [Music]. [Laughter].

why do you watch it going it's just like. holy [ __ ] this guy's about to [ __ ]. burst. dude that's that's baked into the spaz. oh connie's it's like what is this guy. doing to me. [Laughter]. literally two of my best spazzes i think. the lake. lake card throwing incident is one of my. better spaces.

dude that was awesome that was that was. like a that was a perfect storm. oh i know i dude i saw that that was a. perfect song. that was a perfect that was the best. part about that spaz was. while he spazzed he screamed at me to. relax he was telling me i was spazzy. no no no that was after i went down and. read short stories to calm down. what stories did anyway he went and read. like james joyce i literally yeah i like. i was like dude. i was totally out of control and i was.

like. i need to go read some stories just to. like think about something else there. was bae when you read these stories. uh she was playing up with old shane. yeah she was just. fighting she was fighting the fight or. what she uh what was going on she was on. my side. she was she was very disappointed well. this is this is yeah this is. this is the perfect storm i'm talking. about first of all girls love that when. you spaz and they come back in you're. just like. you don't understand uh i don't think. she was that psyched about it.

i had to go downstairs and read short. stories by myself for a while. i don't think she's these [ __ ]. aviators were getting hot. yeah i mean dude that was metal frame on. that hurt. you're gonna get some nice color. tomorrow how did that yeah that's a long. that's a good session how long were you. out there for. no that was that was nothing the other. day i [ __ ] laid out. i thought it'd be a decent idea idea to. get oh burnt. dude my belly got crushed itchy i was up.

there shirtless. yeah it's late in the sun i've never. laid in the sun like ever yeah. it's my belly and underneath my tits. haven't seen the sun in. forever yeah yeah dude i do uh destroyed. that outside with my little roof deck i. as soon as it gets like a little bit. warm i'll give myself like dude 10. minute increments starting out. because you're supposed to absorb. vitamin d i think it's like sick. if your body is supposed to be exposed.

to the sun to get then. i think it's like 50 of your body for 20. minutes a day that's how you absorb. enough vitamin d. so you've got it cdc is like go. shirtless. you gotta doesn't that depend on your. like complexion yeah if you're black you. need even more. uh sun time because the melanin blocks. the sun out. luckily the cdc would tell me you need. to keep your shirt on you will die. yeah you will get skin cancer shortly. every couple days stick your hand out. the window. yeah drive with your arm out their elbow.

out the window you'll be fine. in the back seat i get paler impaler. every year. i tell i always tell bam like no i'm i. swear i can get like a little bit and. tan she's like dude it's been four years. bro i'm like i don't really. i have to go if i go on vacation for. three weeks i get a little it's just. like. you uh you do i've seen you get a little. i've seen you get a little very. very very but the burn i have to take. the burn dude. so i'm gonna try i like a good burn. though good burn feels good dude how.

about coming back. inside from the beach when the burns. setting in it's nice and. cold in your beach house and then you go. out to the hot tub and someone else is. in there. then there's jizz in the back isn't that. a great feeling. god oh my god i actually miss you dude. the headlines the headlines versus the. facts on the ground are just it couldn't. be more. couldn't be more far apart whatever. night can i there's a theory i miss you. too man. i actually miss you who calls who who. makes the phone calls. you call me but i i you're also he.

doesn't call me. i haven't texted or called some i like. i think i talked to gerbin for an hour. the other day. how's gerbs doing he's doing good. now he's like hold up he's like. researching he's like doing all the. things he wants. shane's a very active friend very. shane's good. yeah i check in on my my close pals i. i've just been. yeah radio silence well also. yeah i thought it was like i always. thought until like two years ago that if.

i called a dude they would think i was. gay for wanting to talk to them be like. dude. shut up i didn't i didn't know i didn't. i called you. didn't want to call them ahead i would. call people like i'm sorry for calling. you but like here's a specific thing i. want to talk about. because i thought they'd be like what. the [ __ ] do you want yeah i agree with. that. no i i think it's nice to be able to. just call people. yeah i'll call you i'll call matt to. tell him what i'm being gay about. i swag it helps like if i'm being if i'm. being uh. a girl brain about something i let him.

know. sure and he i'm always like i shouldn't. be telling anybody this this sucks and. he's like no it's good to get it out. it is i give him the girl brain thoughts. dude we all have them it's nice it's. nice to have that. dude it's actually uh it is good you. need everyone needs that this is the. dude so it's funny you actually just. brought me to something that i found. that i think you will. all enjoy uh while you guys were. sleeping dude. i don't know if you know this dude we. got totally. [ __ ] obliterated.

25 tweets dude that totally obliterated. us. wait what happened you just reminded me. a girl brain dude. this is oh my god dude this is this came. up while we slept dude. first of all the people who don't think. girls robinson the people. yeah the people who don't think girls. are funny uh excuse me. what do you think about this guys will. stand five eight from you and call it. six feet. hilarious oh my god where's your check. mark. grown men making only fans you at least.

try selling drugs question mark. hilarious i hate when men use this emoji. it's a cry face. what are you begging for when the. patriarchy is here i mean these are dude. these are too [ __ ] funny wait i don't. i don't even understand that one. o'connor what do you can't be sad chris. you have the patriarchy. the patriarchy who's here for you. specifically who's not protected what. are you. begging for okay yeah it's not crying. it's like. it's it's lover eyes of saturn it's like. the please like the watery pre-cry eyes.

i think it actually. oh god damn it. sorry no it's not your fault it's. pleading face. it's depleting there you go chris that's. an appropriate apology. dude this one is men be like quote the. [ __ ] i look like and b. the [ __ ] that looked like. man dude girls are taking no this is. this good stuff guys keep it up. it's wow i wonder if that person ever.

thinks about just like i wonder if they. ever like sweat over just the. the wording of their tweet i'm very mad. about seeing these oh i know that girl. number 10. do you watching boys. play video games like okay so you do. have passion and the ability to focus. that's the oldest gym okay so you do. have girl brains you do have dogs. so do y'all i've been i've been looking. at like other reddits i'm so glad that. dog. dog brain has like taken off as like an. acceptable.

people post pictures of girls with just. the emojis dog. and brain donkey might be. our that might be the one lasting thing. we put out. it could be the legacy our legacy being. dog friend well it's funny too because. like imagine the. negative [ __ ] you would get for that. right people like oh my god he calls. here are 25 tweets that supposedly. obliterate us. and it's just like uh i guess. it's like who is this obliterating wait.

keep scrolling down because i'm this is. actually getting me. [ __ ] angry so do y'all think dads be. reflected on the trauma they cause while. sipping their tea and coffee. sorry what were you saying no i'm glad i. haven't been mad about these people in a. while. yeah it's kind of nice this is good for. me wow men. gross all right so this girl's still on. the uh boys drool. girls rules here that's good. naca audrey kaufman. oh my god dude this is might be the.

funniest thing i've ever read boys can. recommend whatever movies they want to. recommend. i'm going to smile and nod then watch my. own instagram story instead. i'm sure you're alive man would it kill. a dog bring to watch. you know no country for old men once. i love you just see if they can get. through a masterpiece. yeah if it's not trolls too they. yeah they need colors and [ __ ]. they see like a wide panning thing of.

the horizon they're instantly like man. was anyone in love um no they just want. to watch the office like in the. background. yeah i mean dude just just let's break. this this thing down dude boys can. recommend whatever movies they want to. recommend. i'm going to smile and then watch a. video i recorded of myself. talking dude okay go ahead. i think i think she is being a little. self-reflective there which is kind of. funny. like i'm just going to sit here and. watch my owners but is there anything.

more infuriating. than recommending to a dog brain we. watch the departed again. and have her just look at [ __ ]. instagram and then. i'll forget because i'll get locked in. dude do you know me but. if i see irish dudes committing crimes. i'm in but. as soon as i hear a little snicker from. the couch someone's laughing at their. owners they found a meme. while i'm supposed to be watching this. dude someone watching. tick tock someone laughing watching tick. tocks and laughing. is chris watches cell phone videos.

with audio high while while you're. sitting on the couch with him. just just so we're all clear on this. watching a movie or just talking yeah we. could be i could we could be sitting. there watching tv. we could be doing something chris will. well no he'll be playing video games. and i'll watch i'll. sit next to me for no reason. this is actually kind of funny men. having fun is a red flag to me female. trait it's like all right. fair enough that's pretty good there we.

go becca. any woman consensually making a dollar. off of men being horny is a queen in my. book. all right how do you consensually make. it how do you not wait how do you not. consensually. yeah i don't understand that actually i. i got a couple ideas yeah yeah i'm. talking about. connor how this did you read this any. woman consensually making a dollar off. men being horny is a queen in my book. i'll tell you what those things don't. think about queens in england.

really [ __ ] us yeah yeah i don't think. any dollar spent. based off being horny is consensual yeah. i don't i don't understand. that's how you know actual spend how. what is it i guess a non-consensual. horny thing would be like the stuff. cardi b got accused of of like. getting guys drunk or using like you. really have a scopolamine where you go. like. and blow like that dust in people's. faces and it turns them into a zombie. scopolamine oh dude guys and men. learning about. feminism there's a second wave.

man that guy that's a guy whoa hilarious. good night ladies remember to die before. a man telling you how you feel about. that all right this. is just this is just a lot of people. have had a rough go. i have a crush gaslighted myself into. thinking a man is smart and cool. yeah this th this is a projection going. on here. i recognize that that that girl has. blown up a lot over the past uh. is that the tiny asian chick.

yeah yeah i'm a i like her. yeah yeah i like her work i'm big into. all these now. you like pepperoni man i'm satanic now. dude. true no you're just you're not i think. that's what i'm gonna go for now. satanic next time next time we do war. mode i'm actually gonna go on. i'm gonna maybe i'll do some research. get some facts and just. come at them like supporting.

supporting the bill and melinda gates. yeah i think i should transform to. globos. yeah come jump on in the water is warm. dude. what do you think about. last time you literally told me to jump. in the water's warm the water was ice. cold. and you lied but it was refreshing you. liked it it was so nice i've been. thinking about that. we jumped in the water at the lake off. the boat it was. it was freezing cold but he got in first. and was like. it's not bad and i jumped there.

as soon as i as soon as i re-emerged i. was like it's horrible you [ __ ] liar. what was the bottom like of the of the. lake dude. it was like an old river system yeah it. was full it was so deep. dude 10 feet off of the shoreline it was. like 30 feet deep. yeah that's [ __ ] crazy this is like. 100 feet deep out in the middle right. there's no there's no man-made then. there's no man-made no it is no it. wasn't it was. it was like they damned a river so like. it'd be like if you you know obviously. not the same but if you dammed the grand.

canyon how. deep the center would be you're saying. to be the same as damning the grand. canyon. no i think he actually started that. i have no i have no consent i'm like i. wouldn't believe you i'm like okay. no you know it's like the river has worn. through like a mountain range for. oh forever and then yeah and then they. damn it so it's like. where the river was going it's like. crazy who knows where it is dude where. it's going it's very scary. it gets in deep water it's very scary.

yeah river dude. there's definitely some big there's big. crocs floating around there's a big. catfish underneath there. that's a legend some fresh water kyla. was like afraid of the boat. so taking her out on the water was a uh. it was a task she it was like putting a. kid putting a cat in a car. it was just non-stop just like just. [ __ ] sit down. just [ __ ] relax the whole time like. are we going back yet yeah what's out. here in this water what's going on here. and i kept down and there was a catfish.

that was. a six foot catfish. [Laughter]. and it was genuinely scaring her the six. foot catfish was gonna get her yeah. yeah how does she think the catfish is. gonna jump up and stinger and jump back. in. maybe there wasn't a lot i mean it was. just it would have jumped out and like. knocked her out with this big body and. fell back. she has a lot of she has a lot of fears. i feel like that don't necessarily have. like a chain of reasoning behind them.

it's just like uh. yeah it's just dude i wouldn't say that. about my friend's girlfriend but go. ahead. that's kind of [ __ ] up dude beezer's. gonna [ __ ] you up for that i don't think. so. we talked about it in the car yeah i i. literally. i literally would get in fights in front. of in front of beezer with kyla like. she and i will get in arguments yeah and. beezer will just be like. [ __ ] both you shut the [ __ ] off. dude i was it's so funny nobody would.

ever allow that. no like if i got like a fight with. brittany in front of you you'd be. you'd be like you need to stop just good. please please. that is that's that would be so. uncomfortable oh yeah. he'll just but me and kyle are very. close so. that's true too isn't that crazy no she. talks a lot of [ __ ]. and you know so do i so yeah you guys. are. the last thing i remember you already. missed a long time ago but about just. like some sport it was the funniest oh. my god dude she was trying to tell. she this bothered me it still bothers me.

you. even mentioning it right now she was. trying to say that hockey players were. the most athletic. was the most athletic sport yeah they. were the most athletic people. um and uh it it really fired me up. yeah what was your what was your who was. the most athletic who are you talking. about. who did you say was a mess i mean you. could say there's two arguments it's mba. or nfl. nfl like a defensive back in the nfl. like he sprints backwards faster than. a wide receiver running for like it's.

it's crazy what those guys do. um i mean defense defensive ends. are like six eight and fast. and strong as [ __ ] like i mean yeah you. can imagine lucky hockey's a bunch of. white dudes. that are skating yeah don't get me wrong. it's it's clearly an athlete it's. incredibly athletic and the hand-eye. coordination is incredible. but there's there's a reason it's a. white guy sport. yeah if you were to do like strength you. could really break it down in like. strength agility different things speed. and yeah i mean there's.

that was it that's all i was saying yeah. if you look at some of these like. combine numbers i'm sure that an nhl. draft has like numbers too but it's like. they'll be like a 350 pound offensive. lineman who's got like a 32 inch. vertical. it's like yeah and then i mean just. during that during that draft they were. showing some of those offensive linemen. that got drafted. that were running the one guy was 350. pounds and ran a five second 40. it's it's impossible how dude that's a. 350 pound dude that's as fast as. you guys that's how that's about what.

you guys would run right now yeah. five what like a five second 40. that's. probably i'll take that and then we. would run it thank you. [Laughter]. yeah i'm trying i don't know i know how. dudes get with the being fast which is. funny. i got when i was when i was my at my. fastest i think i was like. four or five i think i was no you were. never running. four or five o'clock six i just tried to. run before this podcast. oh i never did like a laser guided one. or whatever yeah you could. a four five a four or five is genuinely.

like what a lot of nfl running back and. wider steve is really yeah that's super. fast i think. well they're also they're all so [ __ ]. super tall. doesn't matter that would only help you. run faster. yeah i uh i don't know because it takes. it takes a while to get up and going. chris you're not the slowest part of the. 40 like ezekiel elliott. where does he run i don't know i think. his is actually fast i think he might. run a 4-4. you're not a 10th of a second slower. than ezekiel.

yeah i think i ran in high school i was. like a five day my heyday. five two i think i bro i think i hit the. five and a half but i gotta throw a. football over the mountains huh chris. [Laughter]. yeah i just i tried i've been trying to. like i don't feel like doing exercise in. my house i'm gonna start running. dude i can make it through like the guts. of one. three-minute song and i'm just like abs. my like shoulders are in pain i'm just. like holy yeah. here's here's according to a five-year. nfl combine record report.

uh wide receivers and corners had the. fastest average time at four four eight. uh followed by running back said four. four nine so literally you're saying you. run the average nfl. running back 40. i can see it i think. it's time to walk it back. you're getting hammered i said i said. four five four six. we gotta start we gotta we should take. it myself did my. i would run it probably five five yeah. i wouldn't finish i may not finish.

i may walk off the course dude i did a. uh. oh my god when britney was training for. her like physical thing for the police. academy i did. the police test and at one point we did. a 200 meter sprint and i had an apple. watch. my heart rate broke like 200 beats per. minute. it went up so high the first time i. sprinted 200 meters i was like in like a. dangerous level like a dangerous range. dude i ran up to 40 yeah at west. virginia's. at the combine this high school combine.

at west virginia. on the field there i ran a i think it. was a either a. i think it was a five nine. with pads no just straight up. regular and i was that was. that's like i got done i think i ran a. six. one the first time and the guy was like. it was one of the players that was that. went to west virginia that was doing the. times. and when i ran it he was like jesus. christ.

i got back and ran like a five nine or a. five eight and i was like. pretty good that's pretty good. that's funny they're like do it again. yeah you you ran it twice regardless but. then in the one on ones i dominated bro. that was big. obviously just passed by i mean i'm i'm. more on the field guy. tough to get around i will say i try to. get around you on the beach at one time. you're you definitely not tough to get. around. but you're not getting into the second. level is that what you're saying but the. the the amount that the 40 time i ran.

there. is so slow that it would it would. prevent me from. having any type of career in football. really really. yeah that's that i mean that's scary. that's kicker that's as slow as it. possibly gets so that guy clocked you in. and was like you know chris o'connor bud. get back there. you think you can run a four five dude. beezer was in front of you in that race. at the beach. not true i heard beezer had some jets. dude beezer did have some jets i was. surprised both of them were way more. i was shocked at beezer's jets.

i think you were too chris i was i. almost i almost pulled both my. hamstrings in the first. four yards. like my whole back tightened up on me oh. man i was. i was so close to literally the best. thing that could have possibly happened. which would have been you tearing. your hamstrings and these are falling. right there. i was right there oh [ __ ]. if that camera wasn't rolling i would.

have stopped i would have just like. pulled up for a second. i couldn't i couldn't believe you guys. did that i was what a great thing. that was funny we started we started we. were drinking and they started. challenging each other to a race. well you were scared i was shocked at. how that this could even be a. possibility. this just fell into my lap yeah we. should do this because one of them had. to lose. secrets.

this special or the special olympics man. chain special olympics. he'd crush every event probably right. except for running right doesn't he. not if we played any real sports oh of. course if we did like a combine yeah but. if we played like an actual like if. basketball was an event yeah maybe 101. basketball pass blocking like kick. thank you yeah all right we're gonna. we're gonna definitely i'm gonna sit out.

i'm gonna sit out events. did you do that i'm sitting out many of. that so i'm just trying to battle. the score so high is it is it like a. decathlon. or we just it would be a diff a bunch of. different games. calisthenics and skill sets that'd be. pretty tight my cousin dude haas tried. to do something like this before. he tried to have like a family-wide. olympics and everyone's. we should do we should do a chat nation.

uh we should just do a chat basketball. tournament. that'll be pretty tight everybody's. podcast versus each other's. yeah contact you can you can team up. with the wood man you guys are the only. individuals. like a two on two white man can't jump. we would get. destroyed yo that's such a good idea we. definitely i don't know. definitely can't i know that's why i'm. trying to set this up i said the kid in. ansley. i mean yes it's actually sid can play. right. you can you can lock it up and then yeah. i get locks i will literally swat the.

[ __ ] out of it yeah that's true. that's dude that might that would be the. chance that would be the ship dude but. then she would be she could beat the. [ __ ] out of me well we're thinking about. oh. yeah when we get when we get she does. two on two mma we do the jujitsu just. call the foul. we do the jiu jitsu tag team we're gonna. i mean i got a one strike white belt so. you know and i'm probably going to wear. four ounce gloves i'm definitely going. to throw something. [Laughter]. oh that would be that would be rainy and. butterly in a mile.

no unless angeli is that nasty ansley's. nasty. he's a man so you can throw strikes sure. oh yeah. we might have to do shark proof or just. slaps do you think rainy and black. slaps are kryptonite to women true no. they couldn't. neither of them definitely have ever. played basketball oh i don't know i. could see i could see butterly being. sneaky good at basketball for something. bodily was like a. chubby like uh comic book dork his whole. life. yeah yeah but he's no he's a fighter.

rarely overlapped dude i could see his. parents kicking him outside force him to. just. stand next to him chris i'm gonna go. ahead and stop you now you're wrong. did you really. yeah the olympics would be this is. american. ptsd what happened down to the beach you. do look like someone who's recovering. from like a stressful event right now.

dude at the beach i would literally go. into his room. he's taking a break he's struggling he's. taking a break he's out of view. your setup's nice man wait so what are. you saying the beachy way. oh i would wake him up i would sit on. the bed next to his bed and be like. all right you want to do better today. you think we can do better. a couple mornings.

and i was not doing better i loved. dude o'connor at the beach a plus. o'connor week one at the lake. f expelled connor how'd you feel. juxtapose that with how you felt in both. weeks. um i think you would agree with my. ratings. week two at the beach a plus. i mean. week week one at the beach was really. fun but i was also. i was like but the behavior was so.

unhealthy. it was crazy i was probably i smoked. like a thousand. cigarettes and was like. getting shit-faced and like sneaking. mushrooms every night. mushrooms were running low and uh. so that had me like this is fun but i. gotta i gotta turn this around. i can't yeah like i can't keep living i. can't keep living like this. okay and then uh yeah i had some like.

bad i had like a bad mushroom trip. where i like you know freaked out a. little bit. alcohol was it with alcohol or just just. mushrooms yeah with with booze yeah. alcohol mushrooms don't mix in my. opinion. yeah and then i've enjoyed it how much. did you eat. and then again yeah you said you had a. decent amount yeah i've done it i don't. like it. i just got well i stopped drinking. you're right i do stop drinking as soon. as i take them. yeah yeah or if it's a small amount i'll. keep drinking but yeah or just be.

usually. usually it's a knockout because usually. it makes me slightly nauseous and if you. include alcohol with that that does suck. yeah that really sucks yep being drunk. and tripping is just strange. i remember i did it i was hammered and i. ate a bunch of them and i was drunk and. tripping and it was just like. [ __ ] man if i was weird just we being. being like. having drunk hallucinating thoughts it. was just not fun. yeah dude the next morning in your. hallucinations.

i was just hallucinating like yeah i am. the [ __ ] best i'll find that. i fight that tiger that's in my room. yeah i was just scared of wayne's world. and then i went outside and was scared. of my neighborhood and then just like. laid under my blankets for a couple. hours. dude i told you i just watched mibs like. three or four and just had. one of the better nights i've had that's. awesome that's the best. that was nice chris i'm sorry i'm sorry. that i put you into a.

recluse state i feel bad well it wasn't. just you. it's a combination of factors it was a. combination of other people's fault. right. yeah there you go. that is good it's like yeah. i understand i always take it easy on. myself i don't like recluse chris. i don't like it i need you out i need. you guys yourself off the hook. now i need you out it's great when i get. back to philly dude you're scaring him.

now i'm channeling i'm just channeling. nothing but good vibes. i take it you don't want to get another. leg house that's right. i don't think so i need to like. genuinely be. productive i need to establish a new. life for myself you know. that's how you do it there's i it's yeah. that's how you do it yeah start from. square one what you going to do what's. your new program. nothing right there's nothing there's a. [ __ ] nothing daily.

contacts need that i don't know about. dalio context but i'll i'll try i'm. trying to put him out right. so you can't you can't do a podcast at a. lake house. no i can do a podcast you don't think i. would encourage that and help it. flourish. yeah yeah but i also need i need to like. i need to be in like a schedule. you know while you're in a recluse in. that upstairs what are you doing in. there. i know how you get in there that's i've. been trying to try to. no no cigarettes haven't been smoking.

no cigarettes quit has my throat. no i haven't i haven't been smoking i. quit cigarettes. i've been trying to like i've been. trying to like actually like sit down. and like write things. during the day trying to organize some. thoughts i've been like reading. like watching stuff my sleep cycle is. still like [ __ ]. i have like a hard time like getting. into like a rhythm. but yeah i've had a i've had a genuinely. tough time. sleeping here yeah i'm like.

usually getting that adrenaline that. nighttime stand up adrenaline boost. your body's wired to just be like being. a bit like you know eleven twelve one. eight. it's takes a while for your body to. readjust but and the time difference too. yeah the time difference out here really. [ __ ] me up for sure dude i uh. con you're talking about writing like. thoughts down i was reading so remember. i was talking about the book the shallow. shane. the book about the internet and how it's. affecting our brain. the first half of that is just like the.

history of writing and reading it just. goes on for [ __ ] ever. they finally explain how the internet. affects our ability to learn and retain. information it's [ __ ] nuts. it so when you read a book. you just sit there like you're talking. about like forming ideas and writing. stuff down if you're reading a book so. if you're like. your short-term memory is like a like a. thimble you can only you know you can. only have like five chunks of it for. five to seven chunks of information. that's why phone numbers are like six. when like you know you can only they're.

only like seven digits. yeah they chunk stuff together because. if it's more than that your brain will. most likely just forget unless you sit. and wrote rehearsal it. so they're saying how typically if. you're reading something. or audio booking same thing really if. you're doing that you're taking like. your short-term memory is like a thimble. and that has to go it has to fill up. your long-term memory which is like a. bathtub so you only bring a tiny bit of. information at a time and try to get it. to your long-term memory. when you go so when you're reading it's. just like they're giving you little. drips and you're slowly it takes your. time. or you take your time you can do it when. you go online and they did studies of.

this. so when you're on an internet when. you're like reading text with hyperlinks. your brain is constantly doing a little. problem solving like a crossword puzzle. where like should i click that what. happens oh i click this thing. and they've like you you end up not. retaining any information because your. short-term memory is just completely. overloaded while you have this little. thimble. and they're just gushing information at. you and you're the whole time it's like. you're doing a crossword puzzle. so they're finding that and the way. people come up with ideas. is that when you get enough information.

into your long-term memory you form. what's called a schema. so you can like read read read and then. you're like oh this makes sense but if. you're. constantly reading online all you're. doing is viscerally reacting to stimuli. and like you'll get a little bit you'll. get little bits here and there but it's. not really. it doesn't really compare like hype it's. called hyper text the idea was that. so [ __ ] funny man the uh so like the. original. sjw professors were saying like hyper. text was gonna free us from the. patriarchal authority of. authors being like like you could write.

a book chain and then like. i'm reading your book i'm trapped in. shane gillis's world dude you're exuding. patriarchal force over my thinking. but if i could go online i could read. like 30 different offers and. continuously hyperlink between a bunch. of different ideas. and they're like this is there's gonna. be the wave of the future and they found. out they're like. you don't really retain any information. at all. yeah dude i feel like that happens to me. all the time i will look at [ __ ] on the. internet all day and be like what did i. even see. you don't you your brain it's it's hard. for you to bring that stuff back because. you're constantly you're using right. here.

and you're constantly doing these little. pro you're problem solving the whole. time and it's addictive too because. our brains love little problem-solving. activities so you're just sitting there. all day being like. click that oh what happens oh click that. i'm going to read this and when people. read online they just read in an f. pattern they scan the first couple lines. scan down. and then they skip the next thing it's. also like when it's in those little. yeah when it's in those little bytes. it's like i'm just constantly reading. stuff. i don't trust so i'm just like well. that's [ __ ] that's [ __ ]. that's yeah [ __ ] well it's weird if.

someone's written a big thoughtful thing. i'll be like all right. it's weird to think that the new medium. now does not encourage forming. like ingrained schemas and ideas on the. world. you think that's yeah i guess it's by. design on some level but. it feels like an accident right it's an. accident yeah i think it's an accident. i mean you would think you'd be. information overload i would think like. i go online to do research for stuff and. i'm just like. what the [ __ ] what did i just read.

yeah yeah if you get until especially if. you get like into like. two people debating something you don't. understand. it's also your so and then your. long-term memory. that's constantly working in the. background so like if you have a problem. that you're like you can't think of a. solution for like if you're writing. something you're like i don't know what. to do with this. you're supposed to just delete you you. concentrate like very specifically on. what you're doing and then you just go. do nothing. and then your long-term memory just. turns it around in the back of your head. and then that's how an idea will pop. into your brain like that.

pretty neat pretty neat to start doing. that that is new stuff. neat it's just neat there's nothing. funny about it it's just neato. no it's neat yeah i think it's neat i. think it's neat and i think you know i. think it's neat i appreciate that you. shared it. it'd be nice to be it'd be nice to be. able to write. write things like write out a whole. thing yep. and just have organized thoughts. well that they i haven't written up like. a paper. kill yourself.

when was the last time you wrote. something. never yeah wouldn't that be nice. i. yeah they think we're coming back do. they think our our.

little love you know face was it. aristotle or whatever well yeah. they both didn't plato write the cave or. something. plato i think was the one who wrote down. socrates stuff so soccer. socrates you're og. i'll tell you my secrets but dude you're. getting you're writing [ __ ] down i'm. like dude be able to say it live. what are you a coward you can't say it. in front you need to be hidden to write. it down you [ __ ]. say it in front of people that's where.

our uh i think that's where our whole. school system comes from of having to. memorize stuff. from the used to have to memor like it. was just all wrote memorization i think. it comes from. ancient greece that's why we've just. never changed right. just be like you have to know all of the. times tables it's like. why dude well if you're if you're ever. in a toga and you want to have a debate. with somebody. like six plus six is even equally or. easily six i wish i memorized the time. stables. [Laughter].

well you do have a memorize because if. somebody asks you a basic. times table you would unders you would. answer it yeah. i'd come i'd find it nine times nine. eighty one one okay yeah come on seven. times i mean the nines dude. any of the nines i'm [ __ ] late is. that 42 or something. yeah you got it the eight's throwing me. for a loop dude so eight. six what's that 48 48 yeah yeah seven. times six.

thirty that's forty two. yo math is the gayest. math is gayer than writing. truth that's absolute truth dude. you're orienting right now only because. i couldn't get seven times six. [Laughter]. yeah man that got me that [ __ ] me up.

dude you know i was driving through the. desert today listening to [ __ ]. pock and big [ __ ] biggie and puff. dude just getting knocked on us. i'm so hyped we are dude you're. absolutely right it's it's totally true. chris you're little c's yeah for sure. dude i don't know who that is. you're a little c's i'm i'm sure it's. insulting but. not bro i have to unpack a little not a. little season sick. little season no you can be amazed when. i die.

mace when i die you and matt can try to. pick something up and it just it won't. be the same. and that'll just be ceo and you'll be. some sort of preacher. a little c are you familiar with bad boy. o'connor yeah are you. are you not a bad boy for life i mean uh. sure. it's cost. [Laughter]. yeah we're talking about how we're. basically big and puff and you know. there's going to be a big cup. we're just going to go to war with the. west west coast.

we don't hate them as people do we just. hate their lifestyle and hate their. ideas dude. yeah they're really fine they're fine. they're fine people dude those are fine. man i like those men. hate what they stand for chris are you. researching little seeds right now i see. you yeah yeah yeah i'm looking at him i. think he had like sickle cell. james lloyd part of the he's part of the. junior mafia. or should we go more g unit no i think. maybe bad boys. i mean we can still wear g unit wifi or.

yeah we need you and whitebeard. chris you might be little kim dude chris. might be little kim. you might be the [ __ ] slot of the. group dude you might have a dirty song. okay. anymore i'm cleaning up my head i'm. trying to win you back you and me have. an. on again dude if you were to get jacked. and do stand up in 50 cent white feeders. dude. in g-unit white feeders it'd be over. phil sees his album cover sucks. lucy's had an album yeah the wonderful. world of season leo.

[Laughter]. yeah they all come in they don't come in. dude it is the worst album cover ever. it's just him standing naked. and four hands reaching in from out like. off the album. covering his dick takes four hands. that's what's up. well actually little the the text little. c's is covering his dick. nice and two hands are white and two. hands are black i don't know if that's. like uh it's all about unity. that's fair yeah yeah man the war is.

gonna get ugly dude it's gonna get nasty. does that mean rogie's is [ __ ] suge. knight. for sure or is rogue's pock dude. he's a geezer dude yeah he's shook yeah. rogie's a shug. who else who would be trying to think. who was on the west side like that who. would be like corrupt and daz. or daz and corrupt i don't know poc. snoop dre. true uh [ __ ] what's his name.

ice cube wa ice cream cube yeah. yeah i mean again i mean they're. probably gonna hit us pretty hard but. we'll be ready. to go for toe dude no [ __ ] yeah too. many. no legend english are too many nah dude. yeah but in like 20 45 we'll all do like. a family vacation video. movie i mean look at me. like afterwards yeah yeah yeah after the.

fall you're saying like ice cube. true making like family movies yeah. chris you don't want to go to another. lake house dude i'm thinking about. getting one in may. well where see he's back hooked him. again. he got him again where did that do a. link someone has to do a lake placid. photoshop we're just shane in the water. shark sharking on oh connie. oh connie i need you because you're the. only one that can drive a [ __ ] boat. all right you could drive a boat you. drove a boat.

you saw it barely it was where are you. thinking. i'm i like that [ __ ] lake in virginia. yeah just go back there. it was a good lake it's not far. it is good soda wonder. what's in but soda i think would bring. bay. so then we're talking about a bay trip. and i don't know if i want a bay trip. or just i can't i can't do another one. of that i can't do it yeah no bait trip. no girls just the dogs dude you me wood.

man. who else well he could probably he could. probably bring bay. woodman no i mean uh. soda would that be you think that would. be a problem anyway we should probably. podcast. instead of uh planning a vacation. planning a sick ass trip. i just want to see if i could get chris. to admit he does want to come to the. lake with me again. we're still friends we're still friends. i always want to go. oh we are still friends what's the new. program o'connor you're laying your. writing what are you getting.

those eyes for i just hate this it's. getting dark in there it's getting. [ __ ] it's just. it seems like i got lights on you're. worried about it you're worried about i. am worried about. him i am worried about him should i turn. around look at how much our backgrounds. reflect exactly who we are. you're a mexican yeah i'm a mexican. [Laughter]. restaurant. oh hey oh kind of thought my background.

was fake today. it does look i did i thought i thought. it was like one of those like fake. doc backgrounds. it does look fake oh man where are we at. this thing is dragging good yeah we're. good man we've ripped. i just want to know how everybody's. doing what everyone you know. plans to do how are you guys going to. enjoy the rest of your night. uh i'm actually about to do [ __ ]. legion of skanks next. wicked so and i think it's i think it'll. be me.

me doug and lewis drinking so that'll. it'll be fun. it'll be very fun tomorrow tomorrow i'll. be in chris's room. sitting there talking about i need a. change. you'll be on the third you'll be in the. third floor and then two days two days. later i'll be in a sunny. lime green mexican restaurant party. there's there's only two there's only. two sides to this life those colors. bring out the party animal if i'm in. bright colors like that i just want to. like party and be in the sun and drink. and stuff man that that is. yeah this this place like when he has he.

has. i just imagine chris painting his. apartment yellow. [Laughter]. and then crying and then moping around. dude i got to write something i wish i. could i mean. yeah i've been just going don't you. don't need to write what are you writing. no it's good for you i'm working on. working on an animation it doesn't seem. like it's good for him i know the. animation i remember the animation. why it's coming together.

yeah i'm gonna i'm i'm yeah i'm gonna. make something yeah man needs a concert. i'm excited about it. at least you know animated you want to. talk about your new anime. a boy and a penguin and a magician. sounds [ __ ] awesome. the first episode is so stupid and bad. what happened. uh you know don't be afraid. okay so trust us this is this is this is. this is how my writing's going. the first episode the first episode is.

uh this dude gets uh. a potion gets a like a recipe through a. freedom of information act request to. bring jeffrey epstein back to life. also to destroy the clintons. it's awesome i can't believe that that's. how good that is dude. this is the first episode of the cartoon. i like wait who's. who the boy gets the potion or the. penguin. the magician magician magicians trying. to bring up they're all roommates. they're all roommates yeah the boy lives.

with the magician. and epstein yeah there's like it's like. a dude no no the epstein's not alive. they're gonna bring epstein back to life. it's pretty good. dude should i do the voice of the. penguin or what oh yeah yeah please. penguin. am i voicing the penguin or no yeah be. the penguin. yeah how have you not gotten into voice. acting shane. uh because i got fired from snl yeah but.

you know. dude suited him and just get the money i. was doing i was doing like. voice acting auditions but then i i you. know. it all happened at once and since then. i've been blacklisted. that's [ __ ] i can't audition for. things. yeah yeah not yet i will i'll be back. dude. i'll be back i'm gonna go full [ __ ]. illuminati. i'm fully i i will fully go satan. great voice actor i know thanks chris.

yeah hey it's me the penguin. we're gonna get epstein come on chris. this is that's not that's not how i've. written the character but. i like see more like uh is he like a. brian from. is he like a party or penguin like he. drinks he's always holding like a. martini. no no what's the penguin just a regular. guy give him direction give shane some. direction. let me know what the penguin does i'll.

let you know i gotta i gotta i gotta. flush it out. true true. junk that's junk. no i'm happy for you all right i'll stop. fighting with it i feel bad. i genuinely feel bad that's right i was. just looking at you like oh does chris. [ __ ] actually hate me now this sucks. yeah wait why. why you think i hate you yeah we're all. losing it dude. we're all slowly losing it. no man i just gotta retreat i'm gaining.

i'm sorry. man i'm gaining mass and power right now. i'm coming back to the city i'm i'm. bringing swords with me dude. yo i was looking up this is what i was. doing last night at like 3 a.m i. couldn't sleep i was looking up [ __ ]. billboard pricing in philly. dude we need a man chain secret. billboard in philly it's like four g's. no need to worry my account how long is. that how long do you get it for. like a month i think jesus that would be. so [ __ ] funny.

just hopefully we can put it. unfortunately in chinatown. uh that's the only place a lot of. footage because that's that's where our. enemies. not those not the asians not actually. our other enemies true we get a lot of. asian support by the way. that would actually be a very bad look. if i put a billboard in. me in china i don't i think it would be. funny. i mean dude it's on 676 right like it's. technically like it stands in chinatown.

but it's on. true i don't know there's a bunch of. those facing out we get digital one for. like five g's. i mean dude we were just sad we were. just fired up about hong kong. you know people don't understand the. full context we're freedom fighters dude. love hong kong we're fired up about hong. kong. [Music]. that's my long-term memory dude that's. my schema. [Laughter]. god damn it hong kong hong kong.

that's funny hong kong and be stay. laughing bro. yeah they love it they love the cat all. right all right we out it's a long one. this was a long one dude this yeah all. right. fun it's fun it was a power round we're. having a good old time this was a pal. round there wasn't this was a fun pal. around. chris how do you feel do you feel better. you got you [ __ ] talk to somebody. for the first time it's nice to talk to. some people.

it's nice to get out there good i've. been feeling yeah. keep doing it i will say chris i think. chris called me but i was playing civil. war generals and he was like telling me. a story and i was just like. i'm not paying attention to you at all. you call me later. and he hasn't called set so i'm like why. does he call. [Laughter]. mid-story i was like hold on i'm. actually not listening to you at all. yeah and i was like oh you know i'll. talk to someone i'll like get out there. i'll see how he's doing.

what uh i'm not even listening to you so. i'll call me back. that's honesty all right i could have. strung you along i was playing civil war. just close the blinds yeah oh that's so. [ __ ] funny. chris i'm coming to philly i'm picking. you up i've been reevaluating my whole. life i've. like just. just got i don't know i i'm really bad. at getting people gifts. and i was just like yeah i'm just i'm.

just bad at getting people gifts and. then i this whole week i'm just being no. you're a selfish. piece of [ __ ] you don't think about. anybody else can you please. contact bro can you please rip no. contact. do i want i got a fresh one out on the. patreon i'll do another one. people will join dude you're you're a. good you are a good podcaster i love you. can you imagine you just come on imagine. just grind everything to a hulk. how bad a a a horrible i mean a happy. chris. oh contact would be terrible episode i.

need. shaking i need upset no. press to come try. dude just let the bird fly two a week of. counter two a week. two of contacts i'll do it i'll do two a. week i'm trying to dry out i'm trying to. be interested i'm trying to be. interested in you. guys and what you're doing what people. are up to what people are thinking and. saying. instead of just sitting and staring at a. wall that's what i'm talking about dude.

that's good those are goals stop. standing on the walls step one. get a magazine subscription dude. uh man these are thoughtful things. couple magazines. do you look at magazines yeah the i have. the atlantic magazines dude how do you. think we rule. yeah man atlantic the economist you just. get a bunch of them they're not that. they're not getting that geo that you'll. be sick there's like yo there's these. yeah frogs out here and you know what. you could do that's west coast comedy. that's what. animal talks west coast comedy dude we. don't do that [ __ ].

we're history east coast is all about. here so you can build an empire all day. west has chris history chris what i'd. like you to do is to. put together a dream board so when you. get to magazines you're going to cut out. some pictures. put together a collage of what you want. to accomplish and what you want to be. how long do you want what would be some. things that you would want. just guess. yeah i think i think a big thing is i.

just want to like i want to be able to. cook i want to get i want to like get in. shape. a little bit yeah i want to stop like. every now every time i sleep. on my side now my my shoulder hurts like. it's going to like fall out of the. socket. yeah that sucks and then you gotta lay. on your back and try to [ __ ]. where do you put your arms yeah and then. like the pillow's like pushing my head. forward. yeah and then what do i just lay with no. pillow on the bed. you just gotta drink yourself to sleep. dude yeah i mean that's. that's how i've been doing it for so.

long. just wake up with a dead arm every day. yeah yeah yeah i was hammered enough it. didn't hurt. yeah i got that's actually a thing that. happens to people like alcoholics get. like [ __ ] up. arms because they sleep on them yeah. i got pretty funny i mean that happened. to me a couple months ago i got. shit-faced. fell asleep woke up with like a pinched. nerve. [Laughter]. and that just laughs the first time i. ever had that that lasted for. that's absolutely rough in half oh dude. but i [ __ ] up dude the palm of my hand.

still hurts from what i fell on the. beach a month ago. yeah i like [ __ ] it up dude and then. and then i tried to like [ __ ] you matt. don't judge me i'm not judging i'm. saying that sounds that's what my hand. still [ __ ] hurts. [ __ ] something that's not good you're. getting drunk you're getting drunk. injuries. huh well i'm still laughing. i'm still laughing from the truth and. i'm down i'm still laughing from the. patreon you're like my mom's just. bugging out about me and then the next. set is like. so i threw up my breakfast i threw up my. time and i.

was like dude your mom's doing exactly. what she should be. wait how come you threw up a taco and. just drinking the night before. i was hung over tommy yeah just tell me. get sick from. alcohol because i was drinking [ __ ]. white russians so i had a gallon of milk. in my stomach. gown of milk and vodka. [Laughter]. it's so good dude white russians are. literally the best drinks i've ever had. yeah they're really good. yeah i'm gonna go i'm gonna get drunk on. white russians tonight probably. get it especially after three weeks of. miller lights. oh yeah it's nice to be gone with the.

beers. switch over to liquor dude become great. hell yeah i can't i can't do it oh no. matt me and my mom made amends. i called him today i yeah i i asked her. i was like do you think maybe when you. fell. down that hill do you think god had. anything to do with that. what'd you say she started she was like. are you just gonna call to lecture me. because i told her to stop listening to. podcast. yeah i was like you have to stop it's.

not good it's not good for either of us. true like it [ __ ] up what i'm gonna say. i don't want my mom listening to me on. here being like. you know i'm saying i've done it my mom. promised you and listen. and jo yeah but joan's not. she's not a listener she's not a [ __ ]. she's not going to church she's not. following the rules. true joan is a dog brain. wait how did she fall down a hill and. phil tried to go hiking and then god. punished her for accusing me of doing.

damn drugs tumbled so god tumbled and. then uh. phil phil dude i got a sick picture of. phil i always loved this on top of it i. loved. seeing phil's reaction to her fault oh. he was he was delighted. god damn it um. i think it was actually pretty i think. it was pretty sweet i think he actually. like. cared for it back to the car. but then as soon as he realized she was. okay he started laughing but she's got a. [ __ ] shiner dude she's got a black.

and a black eye. she's got [ __ ] up face yeah she fell. from she faced face first. yeah that's a dog. it's a 63 year old geezer trying to go. downhill on a hike. which did she try to like run for a. second. no chance oh man she got bugs bunny. phil was in front of her and he said he. just heard it coming he said it sounds. like. an offload. dude hearing her face smack the ground.

must have been. terrifying jesus yeah man that's. horrible that's horrible that's right. user's fault from that. true especially with kovid going around. too i could have definitely ended up. with a. death she would have fell down the hill. they went at the hospital they'd be like. kovid. she died of covet on a hike acted fast. chris how do you feel that your gay ass. democrat party is trying to ruin the. world. what do you mean chris tell us why. you're going to vote for joe biden.

oh man because there's there's nobody. else. i mean that's going to be rough that's. going to be right we're going to see. we're going to. that's going to be really rough it was. the door to the place real quick. i want to see how messy it is it's. actually it's not bad right now actually. i'm gonna give you a look i'll give you. a look. i've never been to that shitty shitty. bed. it's nice there's a big bedroom browser. that's a cool apartment man.

yeah oh the acoustic dude. yeah yeah i'm gonna get some kids will. you rip something to close us out. please no way a little stone temple. something unpredictable. no i picked up i picked up the guitar i. picked up the guitar a little bit. oh yeah i put it immediately. yeah i was like i was never good at it. well that's that's a good way to stay. not good at it good boy.

chris you're a good boy we care about. you listeners go check out. contact on uh on apple. music or whatever the [ __ ] it's on. itunes or whatever yeah should be on all. the things. then if you like it join us patreon. because chris i don't know if you can. tell is hurting. [Laughter]. it's hurting inside good boy. yeah we need more spuds in the world. amen brother but uh yeah i'll be i'll be.

putting a bunch of stuff out hopefully. you guys like it. oh yeah you know hopefully you guys will. be excited. oh yeah yes all right all right brothers. good talk guys yeah later dogs see you. chris. see you chris thanks thanks for having. me guys see you chris oh there you go. finally.