Ep 623 - The Good Guy Weed (feat. Lemaire Lee)

The wild wild west. >> Yeah, cuz yeah I had to uh for some. reason I woke up at 7:00 a.m. So, I'm ruined. >> It's way to do it. >> I don't know how Yeah, I understand why. a lot of times we're doing the podcast, I look over and you're like. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, dude. I get it. Normally I woke up. an hour ago. >> Just [ __ ] You're just coming to. You're. like. >> Said [snorts] the money mindset this. morning, dude. I did have the money. mindset. >> I'm talking about He had to get up and. grind. >> We fired up like. >> I got up and grind. >> We're [ __ ] podcasting? >> [laughter].

>> DUDE, WHAT IF I SAID MY social security. number? >> We were going I I did have the money. mindset. >> You did? >> Woke up, played NCAA football for 3. hours. So, got that out of my system. Now I can attack the day without. distractions. >> For sure. >> Then I watched the World Cup soccer. >> Nice. >> So, extremely productive. >> Not bad. Maybe we can watch World Cup. soccer after this. >> And then I'm going to at the end of this. watch World Cup soccer. >> Yeah, it's I mean, dude. >> It's coming home. >> It's the best game. It's got to come. home to America. >> to come home to America. >> Dude, if we win, it'll be so funny just. because. >> it is.

>> We don't really care about soccer like. that. >> impossible. >> I know, but it'd be so funny. >> We need some major upsets. We need. >> Who do we got to beat? >> I I saw today that. technically the road sh- for us to win. would be like. We're going to hopefully play Belgium in. the next round. >> Okay. >> get past Belgium, we got Belgium, Spain, France, Argentina. >> Jeez. >> This is not going to happen. >> Yeah, that's tough. >> It's going to be fun. Uh hold on. What was it? Spain, no, but.

kind of they were boys. >> Argentina. >> Belgium he got. Argentina he lived in. after. And France he got. So, yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, so it's just us versus the Axis. again, dude? >> The Axis is already out. >> Dude, [ __ ] A, dude. >> The Axis The Axis all got eliminated. >> Oh, okay. >> realize how much. >> Italy didn't make it. Japan and Germany, they're all out. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Oh, good. >> Thanks, sweet. >> Although, I I heard a lot of people from. South America don't like Argentina. I. didn't realize Argentina is pretty hated. in South America. >> Yeah, they're white. >> Yeah. >> [laughter].

>> Well, I heard they're proud of it, too. That's what I heard. I heard the. Argentinians are proud of it. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> I have it on good authority that they're. uh pretty mean to everybody else in. South. >> south of the equator, you can. Yeah. Oh, yeah. >> In Argentina, you can cuz you got that. [ __ ] flair. >> I think South Africa gets gets pretty. active, too. >> For Although any white south of the. equator, Australia used to Now, Australia's. >> They have chill though. >> They're in the. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But no, the um. I think No, I think you got I think in. Argentina you can just [ __ ].

If you're bi-racial like that, you can. just be like, "Fuck that." [laughter]. Well, but I There was a lady There was a. black South African R&B lady and they. were like, "Oh, so how do you as a black. you know, as a black" She was like, "I'm. [ __ ] South African." She got it shut. it down like, "Don't hit me with that. America bullshit." She was like, "I'm. just African. Get out of my [ __ ]. face.". >> I like that. >> Yeah, it was kind of Yeah, so. >> Turkeys stupid see. >> Yeah. >> See a white UFC fighter that's just. like, "I'm the only African here.". >> [laughter]. >> And all of. like Nigerian fighters that live in. America are getting mad. >> Does he still fight?

He hasn't had a fight in like a year, right? >> a while. >> Yeah. >> What do you think about the Conor. McGregor fight? What do you think's. happening? >> Ooh. I'm excited. >> Are you shocked of his physique? >> I'm I'm always shocked at his. >> [laughter]. >> No matter what he's doing, I go, "Holy. fuck.". He's going nuts, dude. >> What weight What weight class is he. fighting at? Is it usual? >> Uh it's. Yeah, probably around 170. >> his usual? >> A little heavy for when he was great. >> Yeah, okay. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, Max Holloway versus Conor's going. to be a nice fight. >> It'll be an awesome fight. I would love.

to go, but I cannot. >> Really? >> I'll lock in for the length, dude. I. can't be out in Vegas. >> Yeah. >> Did you see the uh Dustin Poirier? >> [laughter]. >> I'll be there. You can turn on the TV. >> [laughter]. >> He's like, "There's a fuck.". >> Oh, [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> I'm going to do that. I was in Blizzard. I was just standing in the pool. I was. like, this is what I'm going to do until. the 17th. And then on the 16th I'm going to go. Oh, [ __ ]. >> [laughter].

>> Slowly get out of the pool. >> Go get your briefcase and head to. Philadelphia. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, [ __ ]. Oh, no. >> scary. >> [laughter]. >> So scary. What's crazy, too, is if you. think about it, this show, I never. really thought about it till now, is. bigger than local news shows. >> What, our show? >> Yeah, way bigger than local news shows. >> This podcast? >> Yeah. >> By It's We've been bigger since [ __ ]. like 2017. >> thought about that, though. That's. crazy. Local news? Or even like, let's.

say regional news? Is that a thing? >> [laughter]. >> It's just crazy all that. If you go to a. local news station, there's so much. hubbub and production. It's just crazy. I just like thought about it now. I'm. like, damn, that's crazy. It's weird. This is basically local news kind of. like. >> This is local news. >> It's not. >> We break down the local news. >> Yeah, we do. >> [laughter]. >> We have a Patreon. We cover it. We. thought that was the real one. We'll see. how bad this goes. Whatever. >> We could turn it. >> have our own Dong Le Mon. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, dude, let me hit you with a fun. fact. This is This actually is a This.

fact [ __ ] me up. So, do you guys like. oysters? >> Yeah. >> Do you know when you eat an oyster, it's. alive? >> Mhm. >> Yeah, it's still alive. >> What? >> And when you're when you're trying to. open the oyster, the reason it's hard. cuz the oyster is going like, "No." And. it's holding the shell together. So, when you open it, it's like You can do. it in a way where you kind of like cause. it like, you know, I guess slightly less. pain. But if you do it kind of like. artfully, you can still feel the oyster. I guess it has like a pulse. You can.

actually feel [clears throat] it on your. tongue. But they're they're living. When. you open its shell, if that's like kind. of like the KO, they're like, Yeah. And then you [ __ ]. >> I don't think they're thinking too much. >> Yeah, but still they're still alive. It's crazy. >> Yeah. >> I mean, they are actively fighting you. Like, "No, no, no, stop it." So, they. go, >> Yeah. >> They ow. Then you slurp them down. >> [laughter]. >> I just That blew my [ __ ] mind. I had. no idea they're still alive. >> Yeah. I wonder how often they're how. often they're alive. >> I think I think they are alive. I think. that if you're serving dead oysters,

they go bad really quick. >> Mhm. >> And they can actually live out of water. for like a pretty long time. So, they're I I think the majority of. oysters you eat are alive. Just cool to think about. That's why you. get so charged when you eat them. >> Yeah, you get sexually charged. >> Yeah, you ate a [ __ ] living creature. It's hot. >> How do you think they come? How do. oysters like procreate? >> How do they procreate? >> Yeah. [clears throat]. >> From getting ripped open and eaten, they. probably [ __ ] come. >> [laughter]. >> That's a great question, Lamar. >> Yeah, that's a good Can we can we get. some [ __ ] um. >> Let's find out what's going on with. oysters and other seemingly stationary.

creatures. Although I oysters are. probably moving around a little. >> Yeah, you ever you ever see that one. they've been eating? >> Yeah, they just. >> Yo, they just jizz out. >> Jizz into the [ __ ] They jizz a mess. and it just like. >> did that in the shower today. I. broadcasted. >> [laughter]. >> I broadcast spawned in the shower today. Very oyster-like. Must have been the. oysters I ate last week. >> [laughter]. >> Took over my mind and body. We got to. [ __ ] spray the [ __ ] in the water. >> [laughter]. >> So, they just they just [ __ ] send it. out there. >> Yeah, it seems like they like the.

like I'm This is really quick read, but. it seems like it's just eggs get shot. out and sperm get shot out and it just. mixes. >> Yo, that's such a good way to do it. >> It seems it's free-swimming larvae is. what it's saying. >> Uh why don't we look at. >> Nat Geo video of this. >> Mhm? I bet we do. >> A [ __ ] oyster just go uh. >> [clears throat]. [laughter]. >> And the girl oysters being like, I send their eggs out. That's not bad. That'd be a good dating. like a. subsection of Tinder where you could.

just [ __ ] shake the dice. Two [laughter] random people, you send. out your seed, they're like, "Oh, we. mixed it. You guys have a little niño.". >> [laughter]. >> They're like, "Time to settle down." And. you know, you settle down. >> Yeah, we're not going to settle down. >> What if you become an Episcopalian. priest? >> [laughter]. >> I live a foot away. I'm never going to. see her. I'm on the other side of this rock. I'll. never see that [ __ ] again. >> [laughter]. >> I was just nutting hoping to find. something. >> It says that when they're doing it too. like the water gets milky. It's just.

like a milky mist of. >> [laughter]. >> eggs and sperm. >> Or it's just like a hundred million of. them a year they do. >> Has anyone ever eaten that? >> Probably. >> Oysters taste good. I'm venturing to. guess that their [ __ ] splooge is. probably nice. >> Delicious splooge. >> And oyster milk. >> Oyster milk would be nice. Huh? >> When we eat steak? >> Well, you said since oysters taste good, you think their milk would taste good, but we eat cows all the time and I don't.

think they're Well, >> What are you talking about? That's You. named like the best example of milk. >> [laughter]. >> He's talking about milk. He's talking. about milk. >> No, you're talking about milk though. like. >> Yeah, I wouldn't try that either. >> you've never had cow jizz though. >> Fair, yeah. Sorry for bringing it up, man. >> It's okay. I wouldn't be I [laughter]. wouldn't thought to bump into it. >> Bro, if you for real. >> You you goddamn dopers. >> Bro, if if you. >> [laughter]. >> Second podcast we do is always. the dopers. >> These guys got to cut out the pot big. time. Pot's [laughter] taking over your. life.

>> If [clears throat] you were to chug bull. [ __ ] might not be the best taste, but. you would be turbocharged, dude. >> You would get stronger. >> You would do and a hundred percent get. stronger. >> Wasn't that Red Bull? >> Wasn't that like what was Red Bull in. Red Bull originally? >> No, dude. [laughter]. >> Isn't it like taurine? Isn't it like. taurine? >> is. >> Isn't it like extracted from. >> No. >> No, I think just the name is from. Taurus. >> Yeah, it's not bull [ __ ] I mean look. that we need Oh, look that up. That if. if taurine is bull [ __ ]. >> There's I I I call it bull [ __ ]. >> [laughter].

>> There's no way. I think it's just the. name. >> I'd actually be curious if taurine. derives from bull But then it would have. it would derive from all [ __ ] right? There's no way. bulls have superior [ __ ] unless that's. why people used to worship them back. then. We got to say, I don't know. What the [ __ ] even is taurine, dude? >> a video of Bert Kreischer getting hit by. a bull. It was not It looked like it hurt so. bad. >> Wait, when the [ __ ] did Bert get hit by. a bull? >> In like 2002. >> [laughter]. >> He got hit by a bull?

Dude, I saw the new Jackass. [clears throat]. >> How was it? >> Knoxville gets one more bull in. >> Yeah. >> and it is [ __ ] terrible. >> Was there anything in there that was. like. >> Yes. >> super horrible? >> Uh yeah, there was one I couldn't watch. >> I heard there was one that made you. puke. >> that's like the grossest thing I've ever. seen. >> Really? >> Yes. >> Yikes. >> It was. they all drink like a colonoscopy. laxative. >> Oh. >> and then wear Saran Wrap pants and play. Twister. And then [laughter] everyone starts.

[ __ ] and throwing up. >> Dude. >> It was That was the worst one. I love. Jackass. >> Dude, at the end of Jackass 3. >> I get emotional. >> You really? >> I love it so much. >> [laughter]. >> Jackass 3 makes me cry every time. >> Every time, dude. >> Every time at the end of that. They got. the tribute to Ryan Dunn and then they. play the Weezer song. >> Yeah. What about him? >> Chris Pontius is always drinking [ __ ] I. was just watching the old episodes. yesterday. >> drink some [ __ ]. >> That's why it popped [laughter] into my. head. >> Did he really? >> He drank. He drank horse [ __ ] the one time.

They put the fake coochie on the horse. and then it like [ __ ] it in the Dude, it fills up like a baby bottle of milk. >> Yeah. >> That's so disgusting. >> throw up? >> I don't think he threw up, but everybody. else did. >> else did. >> That dude is the [ __ ] queen. >> He is [laughter] a bit of a [ __ ] queen. He can handle it. >> be my favorite. The more I watch the old. movies. he's so funny. >> It's also so It's like an old circus. It's like you have acrobats. It's like, what do you do? It's like, I'll just. drink all the [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> Uh.

God, yeah. Oh God, yeah. Steve-O's an. ass man. Yep. >> But Danger Ehren goes wild. Yeah, he's. been going hard the last couple. What's that? Yeah, those two are holding it down. >> And they're trying to get their checks, dude. >> They [laughter] are. But Knoxville he had the he had one and. he's emotional the whole movie, which is. it's really sad. I mean, it's nice. >> That's the final one, right? >> yeah, allegedly. >> It's got to be. >> But the third one was supposed to be the. final one. >> Yeah, it was like forever. >> He always says it's the last one. >> [laughter]. >> This one of them this one was it.

>> Was there any wham bam, thank you, ma'am? Was Bam in there at all? >> Yeah. >> Ooh. >> they show like it's it's a lot of like. old clips. >> Got you, got you. >> Yeah. >> I'm a big fan of Bam right now. >> Yeah, of course. Bam rules. >> I like what he's up to. >> He's back skateboarding. >> I know. >> That's nice. I like it. I don't know why. seeing him skateboarding makes me happy. >> Yeah, of course. That's awesome. >> Yeah. He's a man that's his victory over his. demons, dude. >> Yeah. >> Best. When I see him on the board, I get. for real like, yes. >> Yes, man. >> Yes. >> Hey, wait, just the [ __ ] 13-year-old. in me was like, dude, Bam's back.

>> [laughter]. >> Bam was like the coolest guy I could. ever think of for the longest time. I. was like, dude, this guy is the best. >> I used to get so hyped when they'd show. Westchester. I'd be watching Jackass be. like, that's Westchester. >> [laughter]. >> I've been there. >> You're like, my boy actually knows that. house. He drove by it once. He saw it. >> there. >> [laughter]. >> I remember that. >> I was there at Boards and Blades. Bam. came one time and we were it was like. Apollo must have it was it was insane. It was like a god among us. We're like, dude. Dude, I heard he has like four.

[ __ ] sponsors and we're like, >> You see you'd see the purple Lambo in. town when I was going to Westchester be. like, holy [ __ ] there he is. >> Aw, that's crazy. >> through there. You drive past that Wawa. by tires. >> Oh. No, this is this is what he just was. sponsored and he was like a very nasty. skateboarder and then the thing came out. afterwards. But everyone was like, dude, Bam is like the best skater in this. area. >> I used to work at a Burger King in. Westchester and they would come by all. the time. It's pretty cool. >> Really? >> Yeah. Oh, there was the one guy who.

didn't like mustard, and I would offer. him mustard. I can't remember his name. >> like mustard and then you offered him. mustard? >> I always offered him mustard. He'd be. like, "Haha." And he got he got a kick. out [laughter] of it. He liked it. He liked it. >> You're doing a little CKY prank on them. >> [laughter]. >> What time period when when were you. serving the king? >> Uh dude, from like '08. >> to the Burger King in Westchester? >> In not in West Town, like down the. highway. >> Right across the street. Near the near.

the Giant. You were you were. you were a serf in the Burger King. >> [laughter]. >> You were a Burger serf. >> Yeah. >> And you would they Jackass guys would. roll in, you'd be like. >> They'd just come in like, "Ew.". Wee Man that's all Wee Man drive. Wee. Man would come in the drive-thru. >> It was all Wee Man? >> Yeah, he would come in the drive-thru. >> [laughter]. >> And he had like pedals. He had like. stilts. >> It's [ __ ] Forrest Gump. The very [laughter] Forrest Gump. >> I met the lead singer of Lamb of God.

last week on like a Wednesday just like. at a bar in Virginia. He was just. hanging out. I was like, "Oh, [ __ ]. What's up, dude?". Yeah, [snorts] that's pretty cool. Yeah. >> sick. I'll be honest, the metal guys, I've. never gotten into metal. >> Really? >> No, I would I hear always hear they're. like super nice and everything. I just. wouldn't I wouldn't even know. >> I feel like they're like either really. fun hangs or really tough hangs. >> Yeah, the metal guys. It's also got to suck if your like metal. band starts doing well and you're just. not like super angry anymore.

>> You're not evil. [snorts and laughter]. >> They're like, "All right, dude, get up. there." And you're like, And you're like, "Dude, I just want to. dance right now. So well, things are. going good for me the first time. I have. a hot goth babe.". >> Yeah. [laughter]. I was thinking that about R&B singers. It has to be like kind of sad to like. sing about [ __ ] still in your 50s. >> Yeah. >> I don't know. I feel like 50-year-old. dudes. >> It's true. >> they all sing about [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> Like at all times. >> Yeah, I I think there's a slight dip for.

a minute and then you get old enough and. you're just like, "No, this [ __ ]. rules.". >> the horniest. >> Yeah, exactly. >> [laughter]. >> Once the babes, yeah, when you're 50 and. then you see a [ __ ] hot 22-year-old, it must be. >> Dude, you sorry. >> chaos, dude. >> One divorce. >> [laughter]. >> Cuz you go through a phase where you're. like, "I'm too old.". >> Yeah. >> Then you go through a phase where you're. like, "If I can [ __ ] this girl, [laughter]. everyone everyone's going to support. this. No one's going to think it's weird.". >> Yeah, you go you go from being like, "I'm like the oldest guy in this bar.

I'm feeling like a creep." Then you're. like, "What What college you going to. do, babe?". >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. Look at your friends. You guys are. beautiful. Oh god, what I'd give for a night with. you. >> [laughter]. >> I think your fear of death and your. horniness just merge and they they just. combine into like the most powerful. force ever. >> It also goes from you reach a certain. like our age. >> Mhm. >> Now we're tricking a young girl. >> Yeah. >> when you get old, she's kind of tricking. you a little. >> That's true. Society looks at it that. way. >> I Yeah, I could see that. That's fair.

You're a victim. You're an unfortunate. victim. >> Yeah, they're like, "He's. He's a rich old man, this young [ __ ]. money-grubbing bitch.". >> Yeah, that's true. >> All right, actually shout out to him. >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] it. >> It's true. >> You know what I mean? It's why. everyone's going to Bill Belichick and I. was up there saying, "What are we talking about?". >> I mean, I'll be honest. >> The Bill Belichick thing is [ __ ] it's. it's. He should just smash My thing is like. just smash on the low. The [ __ ]. >> He's He's doing Instagram. He's laying.

He's. >> It's too horny. The If you have to you. If you want to do that, go to the. massage animal and smash on the low. >> care. >> I clearly. >> [laughter]. >> sick. >> Also, think about all the time he's. sacrificed. >> He won so many Super Bowls. He won Who's. going to talk [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> It's not like, "Hey, man, I think it's. weird you're banging a young 20 year. [ __ ] 5-year-old hot chick. >> Yeah. >> to do a cheerleading competition? It's. like, bro, shut the [ __ ] up. >> Yeah, but but. I think it would just be after a while.

that will fade. It'll be. I'm having sex with a hot young chick. Awesome. The minute you're putting up with hot. young chick [ __ ] is at 70, it's just. like, bro, kill me. >> I bet he I bet he can't. He doesn't process it. >> No way. >> anyone can understand Actually, yeah, just being like. >> like, "Yeah, shut up. >> [laughter]. >> Like I give a [ __ ] Shut up.". I mean. >> [laughter]. >> He's not a [ __ ] dude. He's not one of.

us. He's not going to be like, "Yeah, whatever you say, babe. I'm sorry. [laughter] You're right." No, he'd be. like, "Yeah, yeah, why don't you [ __ ]. get out of my house?". >> You think? Maybe it's the news hating on. him. They make it seem like he's getting. strung along. >> Yeah. Bill Belichick would be like, "I. don't give a shit.". >> and see a guy win like that. >> I I will say Here's Here's what I'll. say. Here's what I'll This is the one. thing that I feel like is strange where. it's like. at How old is he now? >> He's. probably close to 80. >> Yeah, my thing is like I feel like you. got to find something else. If you're.

still a sex guy at 80, it's like it's. it's weird. >> Bro, he's the head coach of the. >> True. But. >> He's Yeah, he's only 74, all right. >> He's still horny. He's the head coach of. the North Carolina Tar Heels, bro. He's. got to He's coaching college football. and banging a young First off, they're. all doing that. >> Yes, that's true. >> They all are. He's just the only one. going on the 'gram. Other than uh what's. his name at LSU? Lane Kiffin is. [ __ ] freak ball there. >> I've heard I've heard that. >> Shirtless [ __ ] posts hot yogas with.

[ __ ] It's crazy. >> My I I I do think it's. I do think as a 70-year-old guy it's. it's the same thing Like that's why you. shouldn't [ __ ] kids cuz it's weird. There's a serious like asymmetry in age. If you're 70 and she's 20, you're doing the thing that everyone's. like, "You're not allowed to do that.". But, they're going, "Come on, man. What. are you doing?". I I just think it's I think it is weird. >> You want him to get it? You want him to. bang a [ __ ] 60-year-old? >> Huh?

>> You want him to to bang a 60-year-old? >> No, he's just got to completely stop. He's got to just give it up. >> Is he divorced? >> What are you talking about, dude? >> I'm telling you it's. >> Tell him to give up having sex? >> Yeah, at 70? >> He's got to have divorced or dead wife. That's how you get a young girl at 70. Divorced or dead wife. >> It's weird, dude. >> only options. It's the patriot way. >> Yeah, get a hooker. Get a hooker. If you. want to go pure sex, get a hooker. >> His brother got in trouble for that. [laughter]. >> True, his brother did get crossed. She. goes, "All right, we're going to [ __ ]. We're going to go right to the source.". >> Yeah. >> [laughter].

>> You're talking to. >> I'm going to buy the cow. >> Somehow you're wrong. This is the. patriot way, bro. >> I don't like it. I don't think it's. good. You have to The only path to your. happiness is virtue. >> If you're 70 years old, it's a beast, bro. >> [laughter]. >> That sounds like a [clears throat] good. life, dude. The only. >> That's not the good life? >> Not not. >> Super Bowl, couple Super Bowls, head. coach of college team. >> That's all stuff's awesome. >> Just. >> But, you have to go the way of virtue. >> I bet you he's banging her friends, too.

>> No, he's not, dude. He He might be. barely banging her. >> [laughter]. >> Nah, dude. He got the blue chew on deck, dude. >> you. I'm telling you it's He should be. setting an example for young men to go, "Hey guy." He should be on the Misty. Mountain. I I just I don't know. It's sad. I There's something about it. It's just. It's my honest reaction. I'm not saying. he can do whatever he wants. >> You just got to think about like. >> Vrabel, patriot. >> Who's Vrabel? >> Vrabel. He's got some scandal. >> Has he really? >> Dude, you just got to like It's like.

It's like. He's been working so hard his whole. life. He ain't He had a wife. He wasn't. focused on any of that. And then he's. retired, and now he's like. "What the hell am I doing? Let me live. I'm rich. Let me hang out. Let me be the. best.". >> What the the. >> It's consumer It's consumerism. >> in the screen? >> Yeah. >> Uh well, that's hilarious, but just This. is just another Instagram, but seeing a. 74-year-old dude like. posted up at like a party uh party photo. station. >> [laughter].

>> I'm anti I'm anti There's something that. strikes me as slightly sad about it. Young babes are obviously awesome. They. are obviously awesome. >> can definitely look [clears throat] at. it that way. >> I do No, it's just my natural reaction. I go, uh I don't like it. >> We do have to hurt the value of young. babes. They're too confident. They're. too powerful right now. >> You think so? >> Yeah. >> Nah, that's that's uh they're like gold, dude. They don't go down. >> We need to get the babes in trade. school. >> [laughter].

>> I'm sorry to sour the vibe. I'm just. being honest. I just. >> I don't think you're souring the vibe. >> that, and I go. belt check. It's weird. And here's here's here's the. gauge. It's probably goes I have kids, but I'm like if my 20-year-old daughter. was dating a 70-year-old, I'd try to. stop. I'd do everything in my power to. be like, "No. >> [clears throat]. >> Don't do that. That guy You're his sex. doll.". >> But, Matt, what if he had six Super Bowl. rings? >> Mhm. It's bad. It's going to end up bad. >> He's going to die. >> It's true. I hopefully I Yeah. And I. would be going, "I hope this guy dies as.

soon as possible.". >> heroin and [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> I hope he does heroin. >> I hope North Carolina goes eight and. four. >> [laughter]. >> He does heroin and bangs a [ __ ]. 25-year-old. >> It's philosophical rift. There's no way. It's bad. It's genuinely bad. I would. go, "This is a bad thing this guy's. doing." I would pray on his downfall the. entire time. I go, "I hope this guy dies. now." [clears throat]. If he was dating my 20-year-old kid, I. go, "I want this guy to die.".

Cuz he's being praised It's a he's being. It's weird. But whatever. Sorry. I'm just I'm just. I've been up too early. >> [laughter]. >> I'm thinking of my sweet kids, dude. >> Yeah, that's that's fair. >> But yeah. >> a hard line on this one. I like it. >> What if it was like. >> even a hard line. I just think I just. think it's I just think it's weird. >> What if it was like a legendary lesbian. >> Yeah. >> No, I don't think anyone thinks it's. normal. That's why it's funny. >> It's not yeah. I have the least funny. take. I'm sorry. >> [laughter]. >> Actually, it's not nice. >> [gasps].

>> What if it was like a legendary lesbian. old lady coach? Would you have a problem then? With your. daughter? >> 100%. >> Anybody doing something weird with the. daughter is definitely. a no. >> Yeah. >> I don't know. >> [laughter]. >> I I like the idea of a geezer going on a. like a vision quest where it's like. completely detaching and just going off. like Obi-Wan Obi-Wan. And just there's something about it like. an 80-year-old's like gripping sensory. pleasures. It's like.

>> [ __ ] dude. Let him go. >> Yeah. You're going to [ __ ] die. Let go of her titties, dude. You're. going to die. >> Really? I don't know. >> Dude, but they're always like [ __ ] at. old folks at old folks homes. >> Yeah. >> Also disgusting to think about. >> [laughter]. >> Without a doubt disgusting, but come on, man. You You don't want. >> I know. I'm being a You don't want him. to still have life? He can have life. Well, this is again, we're going to. >> are you to tell people not to have sex? >> I'm not saying don't have sex. >> [laughter]. >> I trust me, as one who's been ruled by. sexual impulses, it's never led me to a.

good place. >> Are you Is it because you're afraid you. were hoping someday to conquer the. sexual impulse and to see a man fall to. it and it brings you a little. >> Perhaps. It might It might just It might. just remind me of my greatest weaknesses. and and [ __ ] struggles in life. >> to me, it's like, you know, seeing an. old man. smoke a cigarette or at the bar, you go. >> Peace, right, bro? >> True. >> Yeah, find find what you love and let it. kill you. >> [laughter]. >> What are you going to [ __ ] get morals. at the end? Now that I'm 75, it's time for me to. stop enjoying the things I used to like.

and. read a good book and fall asleep and. die. No. >> That's why Ric Flair rules, dude. >> Yeah, Ric Flair [ __ ] rules. >> rules. He's. >> I got hammered with Flair and he was. pointing at chicks at the bar. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Don't get me wrong, it was like. >> But, like, [ __ ] yeah. >> He's doing his thing. >> Yeah, it's just, you know, I'm getting. old. I'm getting gray. >> [ __ ] woo at the bar after [laughter]. like. >> That's what I would always say. >> Doing a [ __ ]. Migos music video?

>> [laughter]. >> [ __ ] right. >> Yeah. >> Dude, the dirt sheets were saying Ric. Flair would get drunk and challenge. people to planks at the bar. Like, old man Ric Ric Flair would. challenge people to planks. He'd do a. 5-minute plank. Like, you owe me some. beer. 5-minute plank's nuts. >> Yeah. >> Whatever. I've soured the cast. I'm. sorry, dude. I've soured the cast. >> There's you. >> I've absolutely soured the cast. >> you're saying is incorrect. >> I just. >> [laughter]. >> I like though who's uh. Somebody was just telling me this old. UFC fighter has a bar. There's I like.

when like an old wrestler. >> Mhm. >> Old UFC Is it Liddell? No. >> It's Tito Ortiz. >> Tito Ortiz. >> Yeah, he's running Florida right now. >> Yeah. >> He's got a He's got a bar and he just. posts up. >> Yeah. He tends. >> Yeah. >> Rib shots. It's sick. >> Tells everybody. >> He's a champ. >> [ __ ] out of you. [laughter]. [ __ ] yeah. >> I knocked out Chuck Liddell once. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, I mean, you got to do something. I. don't know. I just [snorts] I don't know. >> Sure, you could be around for your. grandkids or whatever, but. >> [laughter].

>> [ __ ] them kids, dude. I'm going to open. a bar in Florida and [ __ ] die. >> [laughter]. >> That's how Hulk Hogan died. >> Yeah, Hulkamania? >> Yeah. >> Didn't he open a bar down there? >> Yeah, Hulkamania [ __ ] rocks. >> [laughter]. >> I'm telling you, I'm very I'm too virtue. built right now. I'm too not not And again, we're not. talking about Apparently, in medieval. time there was the virtues where you. just do cool stuff and you'd be a noble. [ __ ]. a noble person like they used to. >> bummed out when you find out what they. were up to back then.

>> They well they had they had blind spots. obviously. They had blind spots. They did have blind spots. So I don't know but it is it's a sick. idea. It's like what else yeah I don't. know what else you do. I'm also a big I. don't feel like stuff like when good. things happen I'm like okay. Yeah. Like if I if I was 80 having sex. with a 24 year old it would just be. it'd be sick the first couple times. obviously. >> [laughter]. >> and then I would just go. well what else am I going to do now? >> It wouldn't be sick the whole time Matt. >> Huh? >> It wouldn't be sick the whole time Matt. >> for sure not for sure not cuz eventually. >> It never is.

>> [laughter]. >> Yeah but eventually it's just like. >> I mean Jay-Z cheated on Beyoncé you. know. Eventually you go I could do something. else. >> [laughter]. >> But he's got the season to look forward. to. >> He does have the season to look forward. >> in for the Tar Heels. >> I mean dude imagine okay imagine. >> Bit of a distraction. >> So you know she probably hit him with. the like. so I was thinking maybe this weekend we. go to my parents house. And [laughter] then. Belichick comes in like what the [ __ ]. >> We got Clemson this week we got to.

>> [laughter]. >> You trying to grill hot dogs. >> Honey we got to focus on Clemson. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah she's occasionally on the sideline. >> That's fair that's fair I think. >> It's a great program. >> She's probably good don't you say that's. why they gave her the job dude. She's. probably really good at what she does. What does she do? >> [laughter]. >> Dude Matt Matt hit the [ __ ] virtue. weed. He hit the [ __ ]. the [laughter] good guy weed. >> Sorry sorry.

>> A little toke of that good guy. >> [laughter]. >> I'm hung up on the virtues dude. We need. people need not again not just like the. rule following kind of medieval virtue. I'm talking about truly [ __ ]. Yeah. Yeah I love that [ __ ]. >> Would you? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I mean it is. It's the you know, again. It's the whatchamacallit. That That was. Socrates' big thing. He's like, "Dude, if you had an itchy butt for your whole. life and you scratch the itch, but the. itch remained, is that truly pleasure?".

>> Sheesh. >> Yeah, dude. And I said, "Fuck Socrates. I have an itchy butt all the time and. no, it's not pleasure.". >> [laughter]. >> Scratching is such a pleasure. >> Scratching is a pleasure, but the itch. remains forever. So, is that truly. pleasure? >> So, then what Yeah, what what So, the. itch is going to remain no matter what? >> You got to clean your butt. >> Oh, well, >> [laughter]. >> of course. But in that in that analogy. >> Well, is that the highest good? That's. the question. Is that the highest good? He's like, "If the itch remains, is it. truly the highest good?". >> Uh. No. It's like it can't be the highest.

good, but it definitely if the itch is. going to remain no matter what and when. you scratch it, it feels good. >> True. >> But you get a little respite from the. from the itch. >> itch. True. I mean, again, that is that. was the other one, dude. If there's too. much. If there's too much tension on the bow, the bow will. >> I don't think a hot 25-year-old. girlfriend is an itchy butt. >> I'd say they might They could be an. itchy butt. >> They're obviously. >> They're the best version of an itchy. butt, for sure. >> compared to a ugly 70-year-old wife? >> Yeah. >> They can be a real itchy butt.

>> Who knows every No scratch. >> They can be an itchy butt. >> With zero scratch. >> They can be an itchy butt, for sure. >> And she knows everything about you. You know, an old 70-year-old wife who. knows everything about you. She can hurt. you so much. >> you would go You would go post-sex by. 70. You're You're not You're going to be. I think you would move beyond it for the. most part. Or you just get like I said, you know, maintenance handjobs. >> [laughter]. >> Work on your garden. I'm describing my. life. >> [laughter]. >> Do you have a real in the gardening? Dude, I don't know what the [ __ ] you. guys are talking about. YOU GUYS ARE. JERKS.

>> [laughter]. >> YOU GUYS ARE [ __ ] JERKS. >> YOU GOT TO YOU GOT to get NCAA. You got. to run a program, run the Tar Heels. >> [laughter]. >> Lock in. Live a day in the you know, walk a mile in his shoes. >> We should freaky Friday. >> You and Bill? >> No, we should freaky Friday. We should. freaky Friday, but just not. >> I can't do anything other than what I. do. >> [laughter]. >> I know what I do. I'm not I can't. >> No, we should freaky Friday, but not. switch bodies. You just show up at my. house like. >> I'd show up and be like, "Hey babe, I'm.

mad.". >> "Hey, I'm mad.". >> [laughter]. >> I wonder how many days it would take. >> [laughter]. >> for them to accept it. I think after a decade, they'd be like, "Yeah.". >> You could. >> That's Matt. >> You could trick You could for real, if. we both committed. Dude, a girl would. believe it in like 3 days. You're like, "No, for real. It's me, babe.". >> [laughter]. >> I could just tell you our anniversary. and she'd be like, "Oh my god, it's. you.". >> Yeah, she's like. Yeah, I'd be like if she asked like,

"Where did you put the vacuum?" I'd be. like, "I don't [ __ ] know." She'd be. like, "It is you.". >> [laughter]. >> How the [ __ ] should I know? >> Yeah, you could trick women into freaky. Friday. >> Easily. >> did freaky Friday.". >> "We freaky Fridayed." She's like, "What. happened?" I'm like, "It was a lightning. storm. We touched the same rock and we. freaky Fridayed.". >> We just had a big argument. >> [laughter]. >> So, you think it's so easy, Matt? >> [laughter].

[laughter]. >> We jumped in the pool We jumped in the. pool at the same time. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, me and Lamiez could freaky Friday. We wouldn't know. >> [laughter]. >> I would just go, "God damn, I got. [ __ ] wasted. I woke up in the pool. house.". >> [laughter]. >> Anyway, >> Take like 3 days. >> off and play video games. Hey, do you want to order pizza rolls? Yeah. >> [laughter].

>> Pizza rolls are tech treacherous. >> That's so funny. >> [laughter]. >> Here we go. This episode is sponsored by. BetterHelp. >> Mhm. >> Even today there's still significant. There's still significant stigma around. seeking support for mental health. BetterHelp's 2026 State of the Stigma. Report surveyed, you ready for this? 2,000 Americans and revealed that 85% of. Americans believe that getting support. is wise, yet 74% say society discourages.

people from doing so. Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Wow, that's I didn't know that but I. didn't know that That's sorry that's. just trying to take that all in right. now. I've experienced it myself, guys. Let me. Let me talk about some time when I. experienced stigma around mental health. and/or getting support. >> Yeah. >> It's probably where that happened. Um. I mean this is actually deeply personal. I I don't like to talk about it but. I I begged my parents. uh when I was younger I had a severe. mental health issues and I begged them. to send me to a a camp for the summer. that would make me like girls again and.

uh. they refused. They said, "No, you're not. You don't need that therapy.". >> You don't need You don't need that. therapy, boy. >> "Son, you just work hard. You'll forget. about it." I said, "Mom, I really need help. I need to go. to the camp with the priests. They're. going to help me like girls again.". They said, "Get out of here, boy. Get. out there and sow the fields." I said, "Yes, I'm". >> Yeah. >> And uh yeah, they stigma They. stigmatized me pretty bad but. >> That's okay. You can't You got out of. it. >> I did. Nothing should I I went to the. camp. I did what I had to do. Nothing. should stop you from getting help when. you need it. That's also why as the.

world's largest online therapy platform, BetterHelp makes finding a therapist a. breeze. Just answer a few questions to. get matched. And it's If it's not a good fit, you can. easily switch to someone else. No. problem, no judgment. >> That's That's nice. Don't let stigma. stand in the way of support. Start. therapy with BetterHelp. They help with. the better. Sign up and get 10% off. betterhelp.com/mssp. That's betterhelp.com/mssp.

>> Guys, August 7th, San Jose, California, also August 8th, San Jose, Spokane, Washington, August 13th and 14th. I'll. be doing stand up there as well. And then in the fall, it all kicks off. Portland, Maine, Boston, Royal Oaks, Michigan, Milwaukee, Charlotte, Jacksonville, Atlanta, Chattanooga. Go to mattmccusker.com, a. bunch of more cities. Uh if you want to. get tickets, I'll be doing stand up up. until December 19th, and then we'll. figure it out from there. >> Wow. You're going wild. >> Yeah. >> Uh July 17th uh at Lincoln Financial. Field, they just put out some uh new.

tickets there. They reconfigured the. stage, so there's more tickets are. available. Uh and then in Charleston, August 8th, Charleston. Check it out. >> Let's go. >> [snorts]. >> Yeah, I don't know. I soured the cast. I apologize. [laughter]. >> But that. >> [clears throat]. >> That would have the [ __ ] weed. >> [laughter]. >> in your head about. There's nothing. wrong. >> I know. I know. I'm I'm totally chill. What are you talking about? >> I'm [ __ ] [laughter] chill, dude. I. don't care.

>> Barely Bill Belichick has a 25-year-old. >> I don't I don't Again, I don't wish him. any I have no ill will towards him. I. just go. >> Yeah. >> I don't know. >> It's odd. >> Yeah. >> But. >> It's odd to My problem is again, if he if if he's 7 years old and he's. smashing on the low and he's going like, I just can't get the dog out of me, fair. When he's like taking Instagram. pictures with her, it's like, bro, you're pigging out. You have to chill. That's part of the kink. It's part of. his kink to walk around. >> It could be.

>> Billy Madison thing going on. >> [laughter]. >> The way I look at it, and I'm giving him. the benefit of the doubt, is just like, yeah, what what's Instagram? Sure. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, she likes this [ __ ] I don't give. a [ __ ]. He doesn't have Instagram. He's not. looking at anything. He's probably. genuinely like, yeah, I don't [ __ ]. know. Yeah, I'm more worried about uh we. got Marilyn next week. >> [laughter]. >> It's four. >> I don't care if you take pictures or I. don't care if you're sitting next to. him. Don't take pictures with him. >> [laughter].

>> It's Raheem Sterling. >> Yeah, and again, I guess, you know, >> [laughter]. >> It's a sacri- it's a sacrificial babe. >> Sacrifice to the Patriots. >> [laughter]. >> There's been many. >> To be fair, and this is this is a fair. thing, too. >> of the alternate Patriots. >> I will say this. It does take two to. tango. So, you know, >> That was my original point. >> Yeah, it does take two to tango. >> age, it's like. >> Yeah, for sure. >> is a decision. >> Oh, for sure. She made it. >> She's 25 or 26. It's a decision they're.

making. >> Yeah, 25. I thought she was like 21. 26. >> That's not that bad, actually. She's got. a slight idea of what's going on. >> I think Yeah, I think her brain just. finally formed. >> Yeah, I wonder how true that is, cuz. I've been saying I think Rogan said it. on a podcast, and we've all as a country. just. >> no. I I think that's They've said that. for a long time. >> But, I mean, how much of your brain do. you You only use 10% of your brain, so. >> And they also say that, and I don't even. know what the [ __ ] that means. >> [laughter]. >> I don't know, either. >> Yeah, it's all horse [ __ ].

>> you use the whole thing. >> Everything's horse [ __ ]. >> I think if I cut a piece out of your. brain, >> That's a major issue. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, you're [ __ ] up. [ __ ] I was using that part. >> Yeah. >> I was using that part. >> right leg thinks it's my left leg, and I. walk weird now. [laughter]. I got. >> Thanks a lot. Now that you're saying it, that is. [ __ ] [ __ ]. >> It's all horse [ __ ] dude. >> your whole brain. >> Yeah, yeah, your body's [ __ ] 85%. water. It's like, no, it's not. >> [laughter]. >> There's no [ __ ] water in there, I'm. certain. >> Yeah, you're That's a fair point.

>> [ __ ] horse [ __ ] dude. >> Not 85%. Maybe 10%. >> it is, no. >> No, you're right. They say like it's. 85%. >> Yeah. >> It's got to be 10. I have way more blood. in me than water. >> [laughter]. >> I'm pretty sure I'm 100% blood. >> blood and [ __ ]. Mostly turds, piss, and blood. >> Mostly turds. >> [laughter]. >> It's [ __ ] piss, jizz, and blood. >> Yeah, there's no water. There's only a. little bit of water in my penis when I. pee it out. And that's it. It's in my. water's in me for like an hour at a. time. >> Yeah. >> And I pee it out. That does That's my. number one bug out. Watching yourself.

>> What's going on there, Nate? I real quick, but it's I'm looking it. up. It says we actually use 100% of our. brain. It. Yeah, it says that. >> Yeah, they've always lied about that. >> an urban legend. >> They're probably listening to this. conversation. >> urban legends. Every single thing. I was. listening to some [ __ ] yesterday. They're like, "Knock on wood comes from. an ancient. thing where pagans used to. >> Ritual. Did you see the thing about. birthdays? >> Shut up. >> Did you see the I watched the same thing. about birthdays. You're You're doing. like some weird pagan witchcraft and you. >> Yeah. Oh, the people that couldn't.

write? >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] a thousand years ago. That's. where we're taking all our [ __ ] from. >> [laughter]. >> No, it's not. >> You're actually make I watched a thing. it said you're making yourself older. every time you do your birthday cuz. you're like doing some weird spell and. it's it was like. >> Somebody talks to me about spells or. ancient anything. I say, "You need to. shut up.". >> My theory on the birthday, they turn the. lights off. >> time. >> I always thought the birthday was you. turn the lights off to simulate the. darkness of the vaginal canal and the. candle lights are just like the world. and you're coming out to it. >> No, I think people just like to make. >> a wish.

The lights Oh, they turn the lights out. for the candles. >> Yeah. Not everything's got some deep. ancient meaning the way we. >> know. I I feel like I think vaginal. re-simulating it's your birth again. You're It's dark and you're going. sitting in front of everyone. [ __ ]. baby. >> And then everyone surprises you. They're. like, >> [laughter]. >> Someone slaps you. That's an interesting one. Where'd you. hear that? >> Made it up. >> Oh, nice. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Made that up. Cuz I was really thinking.

about it one day. I'm like, "It's got to. be something.". >> I don't think. >> They were Can we look up where they why. you light candles and do all that [ __ ]. >> It's going to say. pagans. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Apparently pagans invented everything. >> Yeah. >> Easter bunny apparently Easter bunny's a. That's an easy one. I think that was just a spring That was. like Freya, the goddess, and then, you. know, we're just like, "Yeah, keep some. of that [ __ ] in here.". Cuz we did have to appease the pagans. There were so many [ __ ] pagans. >> Yeah. >> So, we did have to appease them. But, I don't I don't like the whole.

magic ritual like every time you do. this, you're actually doing an ancient. magic ritual. Demons are entering your mind. Like, yeah, like knock on wood was the one I. watched. Like, you're actually summoning. an evil force. But, turns out knock on wood was like a. little or like touch wood is a. it's from like playing tag. >> Really? >> And yeah, a tree would be base. And if you touched wood, you were safe. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah, it's from like It's from like the. 1700s or 1800s. >> I've gotten out of the habit of knocking. on wood, by the way.

>> It's good. >> I stopped. I'm like, "I'm not doing. this. This is dumb." I would feel. seriously like that I'd really better. knock on wood if something bad. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah, I was like very superstitious, dude. I'd be like, "If I don't knock on. wood, something bad could happen.". So. >> Something bad's going to happen. >> True. >> Something real bad. >> True. >> [laughter]. >> Think of just about the worst thing. >> True. No, I don't I don't I don't practice. that. >> some really good shit's going to happen. >> Mhm. Yep. >> And then, God willing, you're 75, you're the head coach of the. North Carolina Tar Heels, you've won.

five Super Bowls. You're banging a 25-year-old, and she's. going, "Let's take an Instagram. picture." And you go, "Fucking I don't even know what that. is.". >> [laughter]. >> [ __ ] it. >> This is Okay, I think I've identified. it. He can be Anyone almost anyone can. bang a 25-year-old. He just doesn't want to. pay for You know what I'm saying? >> Speak for yourself, [ __ ]. >> No, [laughter] I'm saying you can hire a. prostitute. You can hire a prostitute. >> Oh. >> You can hire a. >> He wants to do it by the books. >> Yeah, those are forbidden deeds.

>> That's That's a That's not virtuous. That's a crime. It is I don't like that. >> Dark spells, man. >> Yeah, that's evil. >> [laughter]. >> If my thing is if it's just about the. sex, get a prostitute. >> Maybe it's not. What if he loves her? >> Maybe he likes having somebody [ __ ]. young in his life again instead of a. 70-year-old wife that's like. >> What? >> True. >> What are you doing? I don't want to go. do stuff. >> Yeah, what do they do? It's got to be. just him and her. If he hangs out with. her friends, that's going to be so. [ __ ] weird. Come on. >> [laughter].

>> What are you talking about? >> [laughter]. >> What are we talking about? >> He'd be so old. >> I found out my dad divorced my mom. >> [laughter]. >> and was on a boat with 10 25-year-olds, I'd be like. [ __ ] yeah, dude. What [laughter] are we talking about? Now, if he did it when I was a kid, I'd. be like that's [ __ ] insane. >> Yeah, he's retired for sure. I get it. I It's just imagine though.

I'm just trying to put myself in that. position. I'm I'm 70 whatever and I'm. with like her and three of her friends. are eating pad thai and they're talking. and I have to like pretend to care or. even be randomly interested. That's when. it's going. Just get a hooker at that. point. >> know. >> like extracurriculars is crazy. >> Bill Belichick, I don't know if he has. to be interested and I don't think he. cares to be interested. >> Mhm. >> I genuinely He's like Have you ever seen. him talk? >> No. >> He like doesn't talk. >> Really? >> He's like, "Yeah, okay. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, next question.

Yeah, we're not worried about that right. now. We're We're already focused on the. Jets. Like there's him eating pad thai with. four 25-year-olds, he's probably just. like. >> of the games. >> Pad thai is pretty good. >> [laughter]. >> It's a little spicy. It's a little. spicy. >> I really like when this lady sucks my. penis. It's very nice. >> I really got to get out of here. We got. to start grinding the tape. We got. >> [laughter]. >> week one, we got East Carolina. And last year we our defense was. terrible. >> Also, I didn't know she was 26 is. slightly different. Cuz then if she was. 30, it's like.

>> been dating for like 2 years, right? Yeah, at least. >> Yeah. All right, so he rode the weird He rode. the He rode the weird bike. He only rode. the weird bike for a couple years. >> He's on a weird [ __ ] unicycle for. sure, dude. That's [ __ ] come that boy. >> 26 is different. I thought she was like. way, way young. >> I think. >> 26. >> They met when she was really I think she. was a cheerleader for the Patriots. I could be. There was definitely Yeah, maybe. >> Yeah. >> There's definitely ring camera footage. of him leaving a house, which is You're.

going to love it, dude. It's going to. change your mind. >> What happened? >> Him walking out of a 20-something year. old girl's house on a ring camera with. his shirt off. It's [ __ ] [laughter]. It's hilarious, dude. >> Just whistling. >> of like a stone driveway like. >> [laughter]. >> like. >> His hands in his pockets whistling. Yeah, I mean, look. Again, 26 26 is. different. >> It's a man.

>> [laughter]. >> [ __ ] man. >> True. I mean, I could be being too. puritanical. >> Bill [laughter] Belichick walk of shame. >> Yeah, that's my That's the thing. I I. don't want to put him down. I'm not like. anti him or being like, "I don't think. that's very nice." I'm just going like, "Is that the best possible move?" That's. all. I'm asking myself, "Is that truly a. thing to idealize?" I'm going like. >> the best possible move, and I don't. think too many people idealize it. >> Yeah. >> I don't think so. >> I think you're right. >> he's getting made fun of a lot for it.

>> Yeah, but again, it's not like I don't. uh. I have no animosity towards the man. That's the thing. I just go, "Hmm, I. wonder. [clears throat]. I wonder if that's as sweet Is it as. sweet?". I think a lot of people go, "Sweet.". I go, "Yeah, there's always the reality. of the thing, and it's never. sound sweet. Like I'd like to watch them. have sex and masturbate to it.". >> [laughter]. >> I'd like to observe. >> [laughter].

>> He could Yeah. He could. Yeah. yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Their. >> No, 26 is that's that excuse things. That's. she's almost 30 and once you once you're. That's it. >> She was young when they met. >> Their their meet story is is kind of. funny. >> What is it? >> They met in 2021 when she was still. enrolled in Bridgewater State University. in Massachusetts. She was reading a philosophy textbook on. a plane and her and Bill Belichick.

uh chatted about her deductive logic. textbook and he signed it and then. that's how they met. So, she was reading. a textbook doing homework on a plane and. he chatted her up about her textbook. And he signed it for you on a plane. >> This story gets hotter and hotter. >> Yeah. [laughter]. On a plane sitting next to a [ __ ]. young hot chick and he's. >> I'm not sure if he left his wife. >> There's no way I can get some [ __ ] out. of this. >> [laughter]. >> Bill, you still got it. >> It is nice he was like, "I like your. deductive That that's nice deductive.

logic.". >> Yeah, [clears throat] they they struck. up a conversation about philosophy and. then inside the message she said, "Thanks for giving me a course in. logic." with an exclamation point when. he signed the book. >> Damn. >> kept in touch. um so and started dating in 2023. So, she was probably around 24 or 25 at the. time. >> Okay. And she took that book to her dad. and was like, "Who who signed this?" He. was like, "Keep going.". >> [laughter].

>> You're on the 5-yard line, babe. Do you think they'll get married? >> I hope so. >> That would be actually what. >> I [laughter] hope so. >> I would support that. Although, now that. I say it, Socrates, to be fair, Socrates. actually had a baby. >> Yeah, he [ __ ] little boys. [laughter]. >> He had a baby with a young babe before. he died. So, he had a he actually So, he can't. really talk. He's not really want to. talk. However, he's just then again it's. he's. >> Dude, he's an itchy butt pedophile guy. >> Itchy butt pedophile. Uh was Socrates a. pedo though? >> Hit him hit him with rocks, dude. Throw.

rocks at that guy. >> Was was was he definitely a pedo? >> No. I don't know. I'll I'll look, but. >> Wasn't Socrates like uh wasn't he like. exiled though? >> He got him killed. >> Yeah, he got Yeah. >> Made him drink the hemlock. >> Yeah. >> Now I want to know if he was a pedo or. not, cuz they apparently. >> Didn't they make him drink hemlock. because he was like. the earth isn't the center of the. universe? That wasn't him. Okay. >> No, that was uh Aristotle. >> Nope. >> Damn it. [laughter].

>> There's no historical evidence that. Socrates engaged in pedophilic things, but uh since he was alive in ancient. Athens, people just kind of assumed. because. pederasty was. uh institutionalized in their like. mentorship. >> Yeah, that was a big thing. Well, that. was your that was your vessel. So, you had to transmit all your. knowledge to a young boy, and then some. for some reason. >> what they were doing. >> Completely made up. >> Yeah, that's my vessel. I'm passing my. knowledge. >> The final act, he has to swallow he has.

to jackass swallow me. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. Have fun with. >> My name is Vlad the Impaler the third. I'm actually from uh. >> [laughter]. >> I'm going to drink a gallon of old guy. [ __ ]. No, you you could. [laughter]. You are broadening my horizons on this. right now cuz I am going like, you know, she's 26, 25. It's just too much public kink. That's. all for me. >> Heavy public kink. >> Public kink is crazy. >> It's heavy public kink. >> But that's again, that's where I go.

>> He's living his life. >> think he gives a [ __ ]. >> No, I don't think so. >> So, that's something to aspire to. >> True. That's fair. >> I'm sure he hears. >> I agree. I don't think he cares. I think. he just goes like. >> he hears about it nonstop at [ __ ]. football games coaching. If I was if he was playing my team, I'd. be I'd be staunchly against it. >> [laughter]. >> I'd be screaming at the entire game. >> Yeah, I guess that all, you know, you. have to handle all that in your.

household, I guess. Just be like, "Hey, you see a six-time Super Bowl champion. coach. >> [laughter]. >> try just do your best. Promise me you'll. do your best. Not to set up a. sensational romance with him. >> [laughter]. >> It's all you can do. >> Yeah. It's crazy stuff. >> It is. It's a good episode. We covered Bill. Belichick. >> We did, extensively. >> We got to the bottom of it. Lemar, Lemar, what have you got? >> Uh. I went to Charlottesville last week.

And it's like a full girl town now. They like changed it. They call it C-ville. You remember Charlottesville? That was. the tiki torch town. Yeah. They had the big white pride. march. >> [laughter]. >> It was crazy. >> So what it was it like uh. >> You just saw a lot of women there? >> No, it was just like all bookstores. It. wasn't anything I thought it would be. Yeah. >> I think it's a like a kind of a more. liberal college town. >> Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know. I mean, cuz.

you know the march. The march is about. being replaced. >> You thought it was going to be. >> Yeah. >> Southern gentleman. >> Yeah. [laughter] Oh, yeah. Thought it'd be a little bit more aggro, but it was pretty chill. I didn't like it though. They didn't. have like one GameStop. It was all girl stores. Pissed me off. Books and candles. Yeah, all the boys. got replaced, dude. >> They get replaced. >> They got rid of the GameStops. There's. no GameStops. >> So what they did replace us. >> Yeah. >> [ __ ]. >> They did They won, dude. >> No, that's a fair. If you If you. If you're doing.

uh you know. >> Yeah, if there's a Unite the Right. If you're doing a Unite the Right rally, they got to get rid of the GameStops. >> Yeah, it's a penalty. [laughter]. It's a five-year ban on games. >> They're still They said tiki torches are. still banned there. It's been like 10. years. >> Really? >> Tiki torches are still banned. >> [laughter]. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> It's a good pillow for you. You look like the you look like the. mushroom in. Mario Kart that picks up your car. >> [laughter]. >> Is there really a way Can you even ban.

that legally? I feel like you couldn't. ban the sale of tiki torches. >> I don't know. >> Yeah, who told you that? >> One of the people One of the One of the. citizens. >> They probably don't Maybe. I don't know. I wonder if they just like are slow to. sell them. >> Yeah, you're like, "What are you doing?". >> Yeah. [laughter] Hey. >> Promise it's a barbecue? Promise you're not defending a. Confederate statue? >> [laughter]. >> That I was saying like they grabbed the. tiki torches and transformed. >> Yeah. Yeah, I was I was laughing about that.

when I was in. Minneapolis. I was like. I when they had the whole Somali pirate. thing, they're like, "How could they let. this go?" I was like, coming off the. back of George Floyd, I could see white. people being like, "Yeah, I'm going to. chill over there. I don't know.". >> [laughter]. >> Right after that, I'd be like, "Yeah, I. don't know what the [ __ ] these guys are. I think these black guys are up to. something." What? >> [laughter]. >> I don't know. Keep driving. Look ahead. >> Did they all actually get in Like, wasn't there. Didn't that like wasn't that true? >> Oh, yeah. That that they busted it. before the Nick Shirley thing. That had.

been. >> Yeah. >> They'd already done like an extensive. sting. >> Yeah. >> So like, yeah, that was like completely. completely true. He just came a year later and was like, "Pretty sure they're up to something.". It's like, "Yeah, dude, they did it. already. They already did this thing.". But maybe they maybe they were. continuing. I don't know, but you know. It was a good scheme. >> Great scheme. >> Fake daycare was so [ __ ] funny. >> Great scheme. >> It's just so funny being bored inside of. your fake daycare just being like, "I. really hope nobody walks in.". >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, then here comes Nick Shirley.

Some guy screaming at you. >> The guy with the legal pad. It was so. funny. But yeah, that was that was my I got a. lot of [ __ ] for that, but it was really. just like they already I like cuz I. looked into it. I was like, "Man, this. is I watched it being like, this is. crazy. Then I like looked it up and I. was like, oh, they already. already got these guys. Because if they brought down a heroin. ring and they went to Philadelphia like. Philadelphia has a heroin problem and. I'm going to expose it. You just banged on some guy's door and. you're like, yeah, he's definitely got a. heroin in that door. >> [laughter]. >> Back to you.

Yeah, no, that was like millions of. dollars. >> heroin fellas in Austin. I was I was. kind of surprised. >> Really? >> hitting the full on [ __ ]. >> Ooh. >> Really? >> in the limbo. >> I haven't seen them yet. >> Yeah, I saw two or three. >> Nice. >> their making their way. >> Making their way down south. >> Coming down where it's hot. >> Yeah. >> Black tar. >> I wonder how good that feels. >> Heroin? >> Heroin no, not heroin but you know, lizarding out, laying on a rock, getting. sun while you're. >> I think it's awesome. >> probably feels good as hell. >> Yeah, I think the nods like the best.

part. Just [ __ ]. completely out and waking up probably. sucks. >> to look into the science of how the [ __ ]. they stay upright. >> [laughter]. >> It's pretty impressive. >> Yeah, actually. Especially if you're. that inebriated. Like you'll just kind. of. Staying on your feet like that is I I. literally couldn't do that. No. I would. need heroin. Yeah, I would need heroin. to pull that off. >> [laughter]. >> Although your hamstrings probably for. real probably get a piece of strength. >> are probably crazy. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, those guys are always strong.

>> Oh, yeah. >> They got to be, dude. >> Battling the elements. >> [ __ ] battling the other guys, battling the elements. >> When have you tested their strength? Are. you talking about just how like ripped. they look? >> seen them, dude. Like you never see like. a crackhead carry a fridge. Like that's. like, yeah. >> True, they are ripped. Yeah, how do they How How do they stay. up? Nah, that's don't fall for that. They.

>> [snorts]. >> If they fall, they're going to give it. away that they're on heroin. >> [laughter]. >> Not that they're shirtless and bent at a. [ __ ] crazy angle. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, they can't really see. >> Sitting in the meanest lean. >> So the brain of the final part of the. brain is like don't fall. >> Don't [ __ ] embarrass yourself. >> Yeah, don't be a [ __ ] dumb ass. >> Yeah, it's hard to. find exactly why, but yeah. They're. >> I think they don't know. There's so much. [ __ ] they have no idea. >> They're kind of just chilling. >> just can't be like, yeah, we have no. clue. They're always just like, well, leading theory suggests. And you look.

into it, it's like, yeah, it's not. proven at all. Maybe Maybe heroin rules. Maybe that's. the [ __ ] answer. Maybe it makes you better at balancing. if you do like the right amount. >> [laughter]. >> Definitely does. >> I I would have known that it's. incredible. Bent straight down. >> [laughter]. >> For real, [clears throat] couldn't do. that. >> For a long time. And usually at like a. corner where there's like a little slant. in the sidewalk. >> Yeah, true. They find that divot. That's what those. divots are for. >> Walking up finally.

>> [laughter]. >> What was I saying? >> Yeah, their central nervous system is. just like they're pretty much they're. just in sleep mode. Yeah, like a. computer. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, there's still updates. >> Yeah. They're still running, but like, yeah, [laughter] they're they're just chilling. for a second. >> It's running hot though. >> [laughter]. >> It's like your station back there. That's [ __ ] horse [ __ ]. >> That's a good station, dude. >> Your station's out of control. >> [laughter].

>> It's nice. It's pretty good. I don't do. anything with it. It just looks. >> talking about? Your back there just. constantly. I'm just. >> Yeah, I don't even I'm not doing. anything back there. I just keep looking. at the screens. >> [laughter]. >> I'm like, all right, let me make. something up in there. >> is. >> Oh, a space station? >> [laughter]. >> I saw the new Sopranos piece of art you. brought into my house. [ __ ] insane. He's hanging [ __ ] on the. walls. >> like a bird's nest in there. That's. great. >> the Rands and Lemaire.

>> [laughter]. >> That's four pennies. I keep forgetting. to take it to the studio. That's our. That's our. >> fix I saw the LED lights. >> [laughter]. >> Are they going back there? >> No, that's where That's from Teemu. I uh. >> Where did No, I didn't say where it's. from. I said where you put them. >> I just got I don't have anywhere to put. it yet. I got to do a video for it. I. don't know. >> [laughter]. >> You love sex clubs, sex dungeon. lighting. >> I don't [clears throat] I don't I just. got the LED strips cuz they were cheap. and it was within my Teemu credit.

allowance, so I just got them. >> I'm not worried about where you got it. >> Yeah, I don't know where I'm going to. put it. >> put [ __ ] LED lights in that shitty. Sopranos drawing back there, I'm. [snorts] I'm going to be a little. annoyed. >> The the. the drawing is. >> you're not going to take it when we move. back. We're moving out when I move out. >> [laughter]. >> You're not coming to the next place. You probably are going to the next. place. [laughter]. We're moving on up. >> [laughter].

>> The painting's for The painting's for. pennies. It's for pennies. That's a That's our art investment. >> have the Maritas do the whole house. You can get like a top interior They'll. bring a decorator from Milan be like, "This is This is genius.". >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> It's like the uh Who's the [ __ ] guy? Rick Rick Owens, I think. Who's the guy that does all black. vampire clothes? >> Yeah. >> You know what I'm talking about? I've been sending you the thing on. Instagram. He wear He wear like the He. does like the track like the Korean. Olympic team where they have like the. fan suits. >> Yeah. >> So you can just look like a big ball and.

like walk around. It's pretty sick. >> That's awesome. >> But yeah, that They're like watching. this being like, "This is the coolest. [ __ ] I've ever seen.". It's literally just like goth He's just. dressing people in goth [ __ ] and making. them look like [ __ ] up. >> [laughter]. >> It's just He's like, "I'm expressing. anger and rage.". And this is the best place to do it. It's just people in fashion be like, "This guy is the best at this.". >> Rick Owens. So. >> Lamar might be super high. Like, "Dude, LED strip on the Sopranos [ __ ]. picture." [laughter]. >> Dude, I was I was just thinking about. it. I'm going to put it under the. picture so it lights it up.

Yeah, under lighting. I think that might. work. >> Have you seen The Sopranos? >> No. >> [laughter]. >> That's crazy. >> I had a feeling. So, what what is what is the impulse to. decorate? >> It's for It's for the podcast. It's for. the panties. >> You're not doing the podcast there. though. Are you doing the podcast? >> No, no, no. I just haven't taken it to. >> But, what about the LED lights? Cuz. >> Um. >> That was for back there and I know it. was. >> No. >> That was for a stream. You're streaming. >> No, I'm not streaming. I don't want to.

stream. >> You got to change your OnlyFans manager. You got to get. >> You don't. >> [laughter]. >> You don't want to You don't want to. stream? >> You have to tell him he's streaming. >> We're going to oil you up and stream. >> [laughter]. >> You got to cut him in if you're. streaming. >> Yeah, [laughter]. I would, but I'm not streaming. Doing. IRL streams? No, I would never. >> That sounds like a streaming setup. >> Why would you not? And you have a. microphone back there. You have all this. thing. >> I just like talking to people when I. play games. Like Yeah. >> You're just a one record button away.

from streaming. >> [laughter]. [laughter]. >> I like it. I like where we're at. >> Yeah. No, the LED strips were just from. Temu. I had to spend the credit. >> Christ, I'm going to. >> [laughter]. >> I'm going to do it. >> I had to spend the credit. >> Um yeah. >> [laughter]. >> I don't know how to. >> Where where did you plan on putting. them? >> I didn't have a plan. >> You just wanted them.

>> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> I got like a mini. MP3 player, too, and like a mushroom. speaker. I don't know where the MP3 player is. Sitting there, I think. >> Where'd you get that from? >> That's all Temu. I got to I got to do. [laughter] a review. >> You got the MP3 player off Temu? >> I'm getting free stuff off Temu. I got. to do reviews. >> [laughter]. >> There we go. >> Try hustle. There we got it. We nailed it. >> [laughter]. >> You got to ask him. 500 [ __ ] questions.

[ __ ] crazy. So the dark truth is. you're doing unboxings for Team Temu. >> [laughter]. >> No, I get it. I would keep that close to. the chest. That's [laughter] my dark. truth. I'm doing unboxing videos. I'm about to become an unboxer. I'm. making unboxing videos. You are making. unboxing videos? Yeah, I got [laughter]. one in my phone. Damn, you're opening it. up in Let me see it. Let me see it. Let. me see it. Let me see it. Yeah, it's. looks like a great studio. It's a. >> [laughter]. >> It's a good studio, dude. It's nice.

What, the MP3 player? No, I haven't done. that yet. This one studio. It's a. It's where they do pod- podcast Austin. studio, I believe it's called. And. you're doing unboxings in there? Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> It's where my brother's guy. What? Unboxing? Why are you against streaming? I don't. know. It just feels like it would ruin games. for me. I play games cuz it's fun. I don't want. to make it work. What, this video? No, cuz uh Maybe. I'd. like to take a look at it. It's not. edited yet. That'll be even better.

So Temu will send you [ __ ] Temu will. send you stuff. if you open it on the. >> [laughter]. >> If they're bad with me cuz I haven't. sent you it but this is the thing. >> [laughter]. >> This is just. Welcome back everybody and I got more. stuff. I guess we can just There's more. stuff. >> [laughter]. >> It's a tin from the Super. Mario Galaxy movie. >> [laughter]. >> It's a tin from the Super Mario Galaxy. movie.

Pretty funny. It's full of. cool [laughter] stuff. Yeah, I like the. tin personally. I can hide Try and come. up with a random Frank B. No. >> [laughter]. >> Is that a squishy? No, no squishies. >> [laughter]. >> It's all It's all candies. I like the. Bowser Jr. artwork on the outside. Bowser Jr. one of the most. under Oh, that's badass Bowser Jr. on. this side. Look at that. >> Are you into Chinese candy? >> My whole problem was. this regular. >> Oh, okay. >> My whole problem was today.

The three four stories he does on Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> [laughter]. >> I told you, dude. It's just. >> That could be a hit. >> [laughter]. >> Having a secret unboxing show. I didn't expect that at all. >> [laughter]. >> Do you just practice like opening [ __ ]. back there? >> [laughter]. >> It's what I watch on YouTube and I was. like, I can [ __ ] do this. And so, yeah. I just thought about trying it.

>> So, they're sending you free [ __ ] if you. open it up? >> Yeah, that's the goal. >> What problems did you have to make? >> send you free [ __ ]. >> Not yet. Did you buy the Mario Galaxy. box? >> who are producing it brought the Mario. Galaxy. They put the box together. And. there was also like a Japanese food box. Yeah, I ate some. weird Japanese food. There's another. thing, too. I can't remember what it. was. Huh? No, it's from Asahi. >> Don't ask questions. He's He's going to. be. >> [laughter]. >> extremely vague. You're going to ask. five more questions.

It's going to be. >> There was this crab treat It was like. actually like river crabs. They put them. in a. a white plastic boat and you can like. eat them. They're good. Pretty good. >> What Where do you eat but they ship it. from China? >> No, it's from This isn't from Teemo. It's from a a store Asahi Asahi. >> Oh, okay. >> It's a Japanese store in there. >> You're opening up all kinds of [ __ ]. >> I'm opening up everything, [laughter]. dude. >> I'm not just doing unboxing Grubhub. >> [laughter]. >> You should You should for real fart maxo.

and do an unboxing show where you fart. nonstop. >> [laughter]. >> That would get some subscribers. There's. guys that would be into that. >> I don't like farting. I'm not a fan of. farting. >> Really? >> Yeah. I know. >> That's crazy. What do you do with all. your farts? >> I wait till I sleep. I don't fart until I go to bed. >> [laughter]. >> You just fart it. No way. You let them just come out and like you.

hold all your farts in all day? >> I mean, if I have to fart, I will fart, but like I don't I don't really fart. until I go to bed. >> [laughter]. >> Why? >> It's I just don't like farting. >> What about your What about your lady? Like sleep over with you just save your. farts to your bed [laughter] with your. lady? >> Holy [ __ ] dude. >> That must be nuts. The snoring and farting out of this guy. >> [laughter]. >> His farts must be They must be like a. 3-minute long fart as soon as he goes to. sleep. >> They've turned into a different gas. altogether now. >> It's like [ __ ] Mario candy and sushi.

[laughter]. >> You're making farts, for sure. >> Yeah. I yeah, I'm making farts. I'm just not. like. I'm not pushing them. I'm not pushing. them out. >> farts. >> Yeah, I don't push farts. >> You don't push for nothing. >> [laughter]. >> You let those farts, dude. You must be. [ __ ] full of farts. >> [laughter]. >> You are chock-full of farts. >> Would you fart right now? >> Definitely. I could not fart right now. >> Yes, you could. >> I can't do that. >> [laughter]. >> I can't.

>> You [ __ ] up. >> [laughter]. [laughter]. >> Oh my god. What do you do with it? >> You like we're 75% water. You are. definitely 75%. [laughter]. >> He's a gas giant. >> He's filled with farts, dude. >> Have you. >> fart, you're going to be Yeah, you're. probably. about 80 lb less than you are. >> [laughter]. >> Naturally. >> Why won't you fart? What the hell? >> I don't know, man. >> Do you get like reprimanded severely for. farting or like what's the What's the uh.

>> Maybe. >> What's stopping you? >> I don't know. I've never like. >> That's your Michael Jackson secret. >> I love farting. >> Boy, knock them farts off. >> Farting rocks. >> Farting is just sweet. >> One of the best. >> you feel great. Yeah. Yeah. >> It makes me feel gross, I think. >> When you fart? >> Yeah. >> What? >> Yeah. >> So, you don't ever cup and bring it up. and see what you're working with? >> [laughter]. >> I have the opposite. I'm like completely. I need to know what's up with my farts. I. >> I do love a sneak fart. I'll take it I. like a sneak fart. >> When it slips out. Wait, you you farted. at laser tag. It was so bad. >> [laughter].

>> You cleared out the [ __ ] meeting. >> entire time, dude. What the [ __ ] you. talking about? >> I was full of gas. I had to fart. >> [laughter]. >> There's zero. chance you holding farts all day. There's zero. I'd bet my [ __ ] life on. it. >> [laughter]. >> We got a Does Temu sell a [ __ ] fart. machine? To gauge farts. There's got to. be some. type of Chinese underwear. >> [laughter]. >> It's just thermal white.

>> Uh, no, man. I don't know. I don't know what it is. >> You wait till your phone is asleep and. as you're like snoring, you just fully. relax. >> I think [laughter] yeah. It's all farts. It's too sitting in my sleep. >> How do you know this if you're asleep? You've been told? >> Oh, I know. >> I've been told. >> [laughter]. >> You gone Have you gone in that [ __ ]. room? It's [ __ ] blunts and farts. >> [laughter]. >> It's [ __ ] crazy. >> What makes you fart the most? What kind.

of food? >> Milk and peanut butter. >> Dude. >> Yeah, peanut butter [ __ ] me up. >> Please do a fart max unboxing, dude. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, that would be. >> It'd be so good. Especially if you're. getting really disturbed by them. Ah, [snorts] [ __ ] Sorry, guys. >> like I'm so embarrassed. >> I was supposed to save that for. nighttime. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, being so embarrassed the whole. time. >> [laughter]. >> Did you order that dumb [ __ ] dog. candle off Temu? >> No, that was from a market. There's a.

guy in the market. I would just being. >> to. >> I like that dog candle. >> It's nice. [laughter]. >> I lit it, but you weren't around, so I. blew it out. I wanted you to be here for. it. >> Then I was thinking about like how. demented of a candle it is once it gets. lit. After a while, it's just a melted. brain dog. You know? >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Clam candle's nice. >> Yeah, the clam candle. >> Clam candle's decent. >> Pretty excited about that. >> Yeah. I don't want to I don't. >> More of an oyster, but.

>> Yeah, I want to keep it fun. >> Oyster didn't have a good candle. name. >> Exactly. >> Like clam candle. Don't be sorry. >> Clam candle. >> [laughter]. >> The pot The pot has affected the squad. Everyone's Everyone's like, "I'm sorry, dude.". >> [laughter]. >> It's totally normal. >> [ __ ] stupid [ __ ]. >> It's totally normal the whole time. >> [laughter]. >> You had to [ __ ] freak out about Bill. Belichick. You got [laughter] high and freaked out. about Bill Belichick's relationship.

>> I'm telling you, something happened to. me where I don't notice that I'm high. anymore, and I just I'm like, "Man, everything feels weird right now." And I. >> [laughter]. >> told you, I tried to go to sleep the. other night, and I was like, "Why can't. I sleep?" And I I was like laying there. Oh, this is the worst, actually. I I. thought I was like finally losing it. I. was laying there, and I was like, "All right, so the universe is. definitely infinite.". Then there's like the material world, which Oh, that might go on forever, too, somehow. And I don't know how to explain.

it, but I was just like thinking about. just going through stuff and touching it. forever. And I was like, "That's so much. [ __ ] stuff." And I freaked out and I. couldn't stop. I couldn't stop thinking. about all the stuff, and I was like, "There's so much [ __ ]. >> All the stuff there is?". >> S- endless stuff. >> Sometimes I Sometimes that bothers me. sober. And it bothers me. >> Yeah, it got me. >> There's so much stuff. >> I was in bed, and I had to just [ __ ]. flip out. Whenever I'm freaking. >> [ __ ] Lemaire. >> [laughter]. >> Ordering off the TV. >> some Chinese guys in a factory like, "Who the [ __ ] is going to buy this Mario. Galaxy candy box? >> [laughter].

[clears throat]. >> Yeah, I bugged out. >> Bugged out on the amount of stuff. I was. like, "Dude, what if stuff is also. infinite?" I was like, "Fuck, so much. [ __ ] stuff.". >> Dude, but in space there's nothing, dude. And that's infinite, too. >> That's better somehow. >> When there's nothing. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I can deal with that. Just tons of stuff. I mean, there's got. to be an end to the stuff. It's a lot of. [ __ ] stuff going on. >> I think it's all stuff.

>> Really? >> I think everything, yeah. It's all kind. of stuff. >> True. Yeah, I the the infinity thing freaks me. out. I can't I try not to think about. that too much. >> Yeah, I wouldn't waste your time. >> It's just that I don't know I just comes. to my head. I go, "Okay, well, if it's. infinite." Cuz that they always go like, "Well, it's the multiverse." It's like, "Well, yeah, that's. just still one thing.". >> I agree. >> Yeah. >> If there's actually multiple universes, it's saying that it's just it's all part. of the universe. >> Yeah, exactly. >> One universe. >> Okay. >> You're just saying there's a bunch in. there. >> And then they go, "There's infinite.

universes." It's like, "Okay, dude, well. >> So then. >> Right on. >> How about I punch you? >> [laughter]. >> Talking to me about the universe. >> Yeah, I'm getting so I want I want to do. a congressional [ __ ] audit on like. astrophysicists and quantum physics to. be like, "All right, guys, what are we. really doing here?". >> Yeah. >> Cuz I think they're [ __ ]. bullshitting a lot. Cuz they always go, "Well, the math checks out perfectly.". But like, no one can check the math. They're like, "Yeah, that'll be another. 40 bazillion dollars, please.".

They figured out things can be in two. different places at once simultaneously, but the mathematical model of maps on. perfectly. You go, "To what? The [ __ ]. are you guys talking about?". >> Yeah, they're cruising for a bruising. >> [laughter]. >> They're walking around their undies. looking for a bruise. >> Talking to me about that horse [ __ ]. >> Yeah. Crap. >> So, you you got some farts loaded. You ready for tonight? >> Uh. What's tonight? You got a fart? Yeah.

>> [laughter]. >> You don't hit the [ __ ] morning. blowout? It's like. I I I mean I I'm. Blizz, you must be hearing. Really? I I kind of I'm hoping you do. cuz they are funny. >> [laughter]. >> The morning blowout is is chaos. At. night, the way I'm inhaling air. >> Yeah. >> That's the way the sleep apnea and. snoring. >> [laughter]. >> The farts are just It's chaos in the. morning. >> What What I do my morning blowout, my. dog like that's how he knows I'm up. >> [laughter]. >> And then I'll hear him at the doorway.

He hears his little collar bouncing. >> blowout is so funny. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, I get a I get at least one fart. every morning. You wake up and you're It. For me, it's laying down. As soon as I. lay in the bed. >> Yeah. >> farts every single [ __ ] time. I'll be. like, "No, I don't I don't have to. fart." I lay in bed and it's just like. >> right out of me. >> Unfortunate. I literally fart almost every time. >> to it. I cherish it. >> I look forward to it personally, but you. know. >> other people hate it. >> Not a fan. Especially when they stink, [laughter] too. >> Yeah, that's trouble. >> I Yeah, and it's like look, I get I get.

it. >> 10 times funnier. >> I I know. That's exactly the problem. >> Think about being Bill Belichick. 70. 74-year-old. stinky morning blowout and you got a hot. 25-year-old next to you. You're going, "Yeah, how do you like. that?". >> [laughter]. >> Stinks like [ __ ] doesn't it? >> [laughter]. >> Anyway, we're focused on North Carolina. State this week. >> Yeah, I can see him hitting just a. little like, "Oops." He said a hard. fart. >> Disgusting fart. >> Yeah.

>> Pardon me. >> Pardon me. >> [laughter]. >> I I beg your pardon. >> What was that cherry we ate with. sparklers coming out of it last night? It made me fart. >> [laughter]. >> You know [ __ ] crap you're feeding me. is making me fart. I'm done getting Thai food in Chapel. Hill. >> [laughter]. >> There's no good Thai food in North. Carolina. >> That stuff called tofu? Tofu is very foreign to my stomach. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. Well, we've done it again. >> We did it. >> [snorts]. >> Hey. Bye.

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