Ep 618 - Officer Lemaire (feat. Charles Blyzniuk & Lemaire Lee)

The wild wild west. >> Luke, you are alive. Bel Mar rules. >> Yeah, Luke, you sexy as hell. >> Yeah, he looks good. >> You're back on the Bel Mar train? >> I am. >> Yeah. >> He was I think I don't know. He went. away. I thought. I haven't seen him. >> I know. I wonder what happened to him. >> He's back. He's got a shaved head. >> He went to study. >> Wearing a scarf, doing a [ __ ]. business. >> Yeah. He went with the monks. >> Yeah. >> He went business with the monks in. China. >> He He and Wenby. >> Yeah. >> went to China together. >> Buy. Sell. Buy. >> Yeah. [laughter].

He's like, "You You stick to basketball. I'm going. to I'm going to be the business. I'm. business. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> The The monks will teach me. the ancient wisdom. Yeah. >> Is that how he talked? He's like He's like, "AI. is going to take all of your jobs. All of your jobs.". >> [laughter]. >> And there's just people in a [ __ ]. convention center like, "This is good stuff. >> [laughter]. >> This is good. I need this.". >> Yeah. >> Anyway, hello. Welcome to the podcast.

Matthew's not here. Uh we tried to do yesterday, but I. couldn't get out of bed after going to. the NBA finals. >> Who who? >> a little tired. >> Yeah. >> But. kind of [ __ ] it up for everybody cuz. now Matt's gone and now LeMaire's. >> [laughter]. >> Now LeMaire is filling in. LeMaire just He's He's fired up. He just. walked into the kitchen and was like, "Have you heard about the LEGO thing?". >> Oh yeah, wait. You mentioned this to me, too. >> he turned off I was watching a nice. humming. >> [laughter].

>> I was watching a nice hummingbird. documentary and he just turned it off, put on a LEGO [ __ ] YouTube video, and. then walked back outside. >> I was making I was grilling sausages. I. had to go check on my sausages. >> [laughter]. >> What's Okay. >> He's so happy about it. >> I'm having a good time. >> The [ __ ] dopers are in a good mood. today. >> [laughter]. >> That's great. Guard dog's energy is. >> I know. >> I've never seen him this happy. >> I feel good. >> What's going on? Why are you so happy? >> Just sending today. I don't know why. >> It's been a while.

>> It has been a while. >> Yeah, I haven't seen this side of you in. forever. >> Yeah, well, you know, I haven't seen you. guys in a while. So, it's good to see. you today. >> miss the old God dog. >> [laughter]. >> This new grumpy God dog. >> Yeah, well. >> But now he's in a good mood. >> Sometimes I do, too. Yeah. >> What do you think's going to happen. tonight when you're you're riding high. right now? I've seen how this usually. goes. >> Yeah, I probably have a couple whiskeys. and get mad about something. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> I won't let it ruin, you know. >> Who do you think you're going to get mad. at? What What do you think's going to. >> Whoever's around. >> Someone's going to get the business. [laughter]. >> Whoever's around.

There's a good chance. >> You're going to go, "You're a child.". >> [laughter]. >> I have noticed Guardini's got better at. like. >> Right before the mean kicks in, leaving. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> He's been sensing it like. >> I've seen his lady. His lady is usually. the one going dragging him out. >> [laughter]. >> That's nice. >> She see it. >> I see it. So funny, too. Like we were at. the mall the other night and I watched. his his girl goes first. He's always. behind her like. >> [laughter and snorts]. >> I have to leave.

>> He's like. >> Yeah, someone's about to get punished. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> He can say. >> He just. >> Just a fist on the table. >> [laughter]. >> We should go. >> He's under the table. >> So, Meazy fills in on the Legos. >> All right. There's this company called. Bricks and Minifigs and they are a Lego. reseller. So, they buy Legos from people and they. resell them and there's this guy uh him. and his dad had a big collection of. Legos and they had like a a uh.

a. building, a store. And then the dad got sick. So, to cover. the costs, they like. had a deal with Bricks and Minifigs that. made sure that they would retain owning. the Legos, but Bricks and Minifigs would. sell them and they just like take a. portion of the sale, you know? So, then the dad gets better and they're. like, "All right. We want our bricks. back." And then the company is like, "We. actually don't have them." But they do. have them. They're still on the shelves. They're like advertising them on their. Instagram and stuff. And they're just. lying and lying. So, that guy calls a.

YouTube guy. And then the YouTube guy. does a whole investigation. And that's. when it gets nuts. >> Okay. [laughter]. >> So, what gets nuts? >> Dude, this YouTube guy he's just like. trying to investigate. He's like, "Give. back the bricks." And the guy's like, "No.". >> [laughter]. >> He's like, "All right." And then he goes. through all the legal loopholes. He like. makes a company called that. He makes a company so that the LEGO. company will sue him. So, the company is.

like pretty much an exact copy of the. LEGO company, but. he's just trying to infringe on them so. that they sue him. And they won't do it. And then uh. he makes a a lottery. because But he goes through all the. loopholes to make like a legal lottery. And then he uh. sells the minifigs cuz he owns the. figures. He owns the figures. So, he. sells the figures to the lottery. And. the company doesn't give the figures. away. So, they're criminally in trouble now. >> Uh-huh. >> But every time he goes to the cops, the. cops are like, "You got to leave. You're. the one causing the problem." He's like,

"Legally, they're stealing from me. And. you guys aren't doing anything about. it." And then it just. that happens for like a couple months. And then he like tries to give up. And. he starts to GoFundMe for the guy. And. then he gets arrested for doing the. GoFundMe in Utah because they're like, "You're still like harassing these. people." And he's not doing anything. And it turns out everybody's Mormon. >> [laughter]. >> The Mormon thing is the crazy thing. It's like a Mormon like. But all the cops are Mormon. All the.

owners of the company are Mormon. So, there's like. >> This is deeper than LEGOs now. >> Yeah, it's deeper than LEGOs, bro. Yeah. [laughter]. And this YouTube guy is figuring it all. out like in real time. Like this is like. 3 months old. >> Is it But what kind of mystery is that? It's in Utah. They're all Mormon. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, it's Yeah, it's true. >> Yeah. >> They're all Mormon. >> Yeah. I don't think I think the it's. about the Mormon mafia that is more or. less taking over Legos. >> They're taking over Legos? >> Taking over Lego reselling. >> The Mormon mafia is taking over Legos.

>> Cuz a lot of other people have tried to. get their Legos back and it doesn't work. with Bricks and Minifigs. >> Oh my yes. >> So that's Okay, so that's the Mormon. mafia is. >> I know. [laughter]. >> He's just high in his room. >> mafia. >> The Mormon mafia is taking over Legos. >> [laughter]. >> Oh my god. I got to go inside and tell Shane. >> [laughter]. >> He goes, "Did you hear about the Lego. thing?". >> Yeah, I thought this I thought it was. truly like a Lego. >> Dude, it's crazy. >> What's crazy about. >> to watch the videos, man. He's getting. arrested for nothing.

Like it's crazy. He's doing everything. legally right and then the cops are. like, "Hey, man, you're [ __ ] with our. guy, so you're wrong.". >> He brings in a lot of Lego money for the. >> Well, he would Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> The Well, I think Bricks and Minifigs. gives the cops some kickbacks. >> You think the Lego resellers are paying. off the cops? >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Almost definitely from this video, dude. Based on this video cuz. >> what Why why would they pay off the. cops? >> Because they don't want. people to get their Legos back. They.

want to keep the profit. >> I don't know, man. >> Okay. I don't know. It's crazy. It's. like Pokémon cards with Legos, though. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Are they valuable Legos? >> Yeah, it's like his collection was worth. $200,000. Yeah. >> Okay. >> It was like some Legos you can never get. again. >> It's like the. Just keep thinking of like the Lego. models of like the Sean John. headquarters. >> [laughter]. >> You can't get this one anymore. >> Yeah, you can't get the Diddy style Lego.

anymore. >> Yeah, did you get to see the Diddy. video? >> No Oh, yeah. >> [laughter]. >> That is a that's a scary one. >> made me sad. >> A tough one to see, yeah. >> There's a new video? >> It's a video of a lady. The only thing I saw was she was giving. a guy head and Diddy was kind of just. creeping around. He's walking around in the back. Stroking that [ __ ] daddy. [laughter]. >> Yeah, I'm back here stroking my [ __ ]. >> getting punished. [laughter]. I didn't see the sex. >> Yeah. >> Was he was getting after it? >> getting punished.

>> It was the Punisher? >> Yeah. It wasn't the Punisher. It was. somebody else, but she was getting. punished. >> It was the Punisher's understudy. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. [laughter and gasps]. >> I lost my voice. I can't punish them. >> Yeah, there was seeing him Yeah, his his. physique. wasn't. >> Was it. >> tough? It's tough. >> Yeah. >> The whole thing's tough. >> Man, it's. >> He's like hunched over. stroking a relatively tiny dong.

>> Yeah. Damn. >> Was that. >> I thought it was fine. >> Do you think he had sex with his mom? >> Do I think Puff had sex with his mom? >> Yeah, you watched uh Did you watch the. doc? >> No. >> I did. I don't remember thinking that, though. >> Cuz like uh they were talking about how. much he time he spent with his mom and. how she like. groomed him for stuff. >> Yeah. >> I don't know, maybe he got molested by. somebody. >> Yeah. >> Usually Usually what leads to. cracking one off in a hotel walking. around. >> [laughter]. >> True. >> Naked, filming it with red lights.

>> With the Punisher. >> Usually something happened. >> [laughter]. >> That is yeah. >> You got the Punisher in you. >> It draws you to the It draws you to the. red light bulbs. >> Straight to the red light bulbs. You. have those? >> What? >> You love red light bulbs. You crack. >> What's the red light bulbs? >> He cracks them off like Diddy, did he? >> [laughter]. >> He walks around in that room with the. red light bulbs. >> We're synced up days apart. Like we were. just talking about how freaky anybody. who's doing red light bulbs were. yesterday. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah, I I didn't know [laughter] LeMaire. was a red light bulb. >> true. >> Oh [ __ ] you're a red light bulb guy?

>> I just say Alexa, turn the sun red. >> Yo. >> It's so easy. >> Yeah. [snorts]. >> Damn, what's going on? You can't even. close the blinds. >> I already I already did that. I already. did that. >> [laughter]. >> Turn the sun red. >> Block the sun out. I'm ready to crack. one off. >> [laughter]. >> Turn the sun red. Turn the [ __ ]. >> Jesus Christ, dude. >> Yeah, [clears throat] yeah. I think. that's kind of a black thing though. You. guys love colored lights. >> I don't think so. Cuz I always see it at. high-rise apartments. That's where I see. it the most. It's like a freaky like. high-rise purple or red.

It's a [laughter] freaky freaky ass Cuz. you see that one and go that's the. freaky guy. >> Of course, yeah. It's a purple room. >> Yeah, yeah. Ooh. >> It's true. >> Nothing good's going on there. They're not They're not playing cards. >> No. >> They're not putting together a puzzle. They're. They're getting nasty. >> They're getting [ __ ] freaky in there. Spit roasting a guy. >> [laughter]. >> Doing something evil in there. >> Wasn't that Diddy Diddy Diddy-o? >> The Diddy-o. [laughter]. >> [laughter]. >> Wasn't that like freaky red light?

>> Or cereal. >> I'm really happy with Diddy. >> It was. >> Diddy-o's. >> You got to stop turning the sun red. >> The guy looks like Nate. >> Who? [laughter] The guy. >> Naked Diddy. >> There's no way. I haven't seen the. video. I just heard it. >> look it up. You'll go, "Damn, they got. me.". >> [laughter]. >> Is that Is that me? I'm sorry. If it's me, then I'm sorry. >> Man, to be fair to Diddy though, like if. you catch me like standing jerking off, I'm going to be hunched, too.

>> Yeah, of course. >> Yeah. >> I'm going to be hunched. I'm hunched no. matter what. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Somebody filmed me walking in LA and I. got made fun of. I was in public. >> [laughter]. >> What the hell? >> And that was unfortunate cuz me and. Makeeba were both wearing. red gym shorts for some reason. We were. wearing like matching outfits walking. together. >> [laughter]. >> It's pretty embarrassing. >> You guys going to work out? >> Yeah. >> No, we. walking [laughter]. We're not working out. We're going to. get a We We got our hair cut. We were in.

the same hotel and I came down. He was. wearing red shorts. I was wearing We. were both like, "Oh man, we look dumb.". >> [laughter]. >> You guys were matching shorts. You got. the same outfit. >> Yes, and then we went to the same place. and got our hair cuts. >> That's kind of gay. >> White guys. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. All it took All it would have taken is. different color shorts and we would have. been fine. >> [laughter]. >> White guys red gym shorts, black guys. red light bulbs. >> Yes. [laughter]. >> Dude, white guys white guys love. red light bulb guys. >> Yeah, you are.

>> We know we're not. >> disproportionately. >> Never once seen it in my life. When to. when? [snorts]. >> I'm saying 50% of the red light bulbs. are represented by 13% of the. population. >> [laughter]. >> You guys love red light bulbs. >> I've owned red light bulbs two separate. times in my life. >> But. I've never. >> LeMaire just does LeMaire things. Like. just like saying let every black dude is. coming in here putting on the Lego dot. like the Lego news. That's not You can't. use LeMaire as the. I'm not saying I'm not trying to. discount you black [laughter] guys. Black guys have I would never do that to.

you. I'm just saying LeMaire is an. outlier in a bunch of different. >> He is an outlier. >> True. >> between anime and red light bulbs and I. think there's a crossover. >> black culture and anime. >> Yeah. But then you always got like the white. gamer guys got like a light blue or a. purple light bulb going on in there. >> Or the LED lights. >> Just like or they get a color changing. LED. >> So you're saying that's white culture? >> The strip. >> And you guys are appropriating. >> I do. >> going to give us one? >> I'm not going to.

>> You want to give us LED lights? >> Appropriating it is not. >> And we got gaming chairs. Those are. ours. >> Gaming chairs are no. Gaming chairs are definitely us. No. >> No way. >> I'm just claiming it. I don't even. >> [laughter]. >> I don't know. I've never had a gaming. chair. Are white guys. >> No, they're Asian. >> Asian. >> Gaming chairs are Asian. >> I wonder who was first though. >> Koreans. >> It feels like the honkeys though. >> Feels like Koreans to me. >> I don't know, man. I do so seriously. yes. >> Yes. >> They might have made the chair, but the. white guy innovated it. Not to sound. like an Uncle Tom, but.

>> Think about [laughter] how locked in you. Think about how locked in you were to. the chair. >> Uncle Brother Lee was on the devil's. podcast. [laughter]. >> Oh, true. Oh my god. >> He's watching. >> [laughter]. >> He's going to be waiting in Philly. Brother Lee. >> Tell me more about this Lego. documentary, brother. >> [laughter]. >> Dude, I'm only on part two. I got to get. the part three. I'm waiting for part. three. I think part three comes out. tomorrow. >> Would you ever go to Have you been to.

Utah? >> Yeah, I went with Matt recently, actually. It was pretty nice. >> I like Utah. >> Utah's cool. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Would you go back to investigate? >> [laughter]. >> No. >> You don't want to get involved? >> No. >> You could help them out. >> No, dude, this guy was getting [ __ ]. Like they would shoot me. That's how [ __ ] That's how [ __ ] this. guy was getting. Like they would have. shot me. Like for real. >> Man, if you get killed by police. brutality. >> [laughter]. >> and there's [ __ ] LeMaire murals. everywhere.

This episode is brought to you by. BetterHelp. Summer's a lot of fun, but it can be a. lot. Summer's fun, but it can be a lot. Matt or. >> [laughter]. >> It can be a lot. LeMaire, tell me what's one thing this. summer that you have a lot going on. What did you do? Did you enjoy being that busy or did you. prefer more relaxed. uh. itinerary? >> I I enjoy I enjoy the business a little. bit, but I would like some more relaxed.

>> You need to relax more. That's what I always say about you. >> Yeah. >> People ask me, they say, "What's it like. living with LeMaire?" I say, "God, I. wish the guy would [ __ ] relax.". >> [laughter]. >> Too much of a busybody. >> Yeah. >> I got so much going up here. >> You do. >> It's true. The police radio never turns. off. >> True. We do have to get you a scanner. >> [laughter]. >> Oh man, actually you would have fun with. a scanner. >> Yeah? >> Yeah. >> think so. >> You'd go to crimes in progress. >> [laughter].

>> I would, dude. >> You'd be feared in the city. >> [laughter]. >> The criminals, the bad guys would go, "Oh, [ __ ] it's LeMaire.". >> Yeah. It's the leverage. He's coming. >> He's going to get you. >> [laughter]. >> The leverage. He's getting low on them. Fire up. So, if you're feeling overwhelmed, try. BetterHelp. They're one of the biggest. online therapy platforms and pretty. highly rated, too. They can connect you. with a professional therapist who can. help you understand what you need to. truly enjoy your summer. You don't have to say yes to everything.

this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off. betterhelp.com/mssp. That's betterhelp.com/mssp. Now, let's get back to the show. >> Hey, everybody. It's me, uh LeMaire. We're going to be in Charlottesville on. June 25th. >> Uh-oh. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Wait a minute. >> Bringing my torches. Bring yours. >> I'll be in Ferguson, Missouri. I'll be in [laughter] Charlottesville. Where else you going? >> Charlottesville on. the 25th of June and the 27th of June,

Columbia, South Carolina. And then I got. a bunch of shows coming up on the East. Coast in August. Please check those out. Uh at lemairelee.fun. Panties in the. mouth, the Tenaciously Brothers podcast. Please check those out as well. >> Tenaciously Brothers? >> Yeah. >> What's up? >> It's me and Jabari. We just play video. games. >> Oh, that's awesome. >> [laughter]. >> Jesus Christ. All right. Thanks, gang. >> [laughter]. >> And Matt's in Fort Wayne, Indiana. tonight. So, go see Matt tonight. The. link's in the description. I'll be in uh.

Charleston pretty soon, too, if you want. to go see that. Thank you. >> Yes. >> Goodbye. And Optimum Optix, goodbye. >> Or we could get like a mural of The View. and paint you as. >> Jesus. We'll paint you as LeMaire. >> [laughter]. >> He is The View. Have you ever heard his. opinions? >> No. >> I'm not The View. >> That's The View. >> No, I haven't. I've I've I haven't No, I. haven't. >> on the news. I've been back. >> Yeah. >> I'm back on the news. The guy over. there. >> You're back on the news? >> Yeah. >> What's What's going on? >> Right now, they're talking They're. trying to get AI wealth funds.

>> Okay. >> They're trying to Yeah. >> Oh, like have AI operate them rather. than people? >> No, they're trying to have. the money we would pay people, we're. taking from companies putting in the. fund to take care of people since. there's not going to be any more jobs. And there's nothing we can do to stop. it. >> I see. [laughter]. Okay. >> Have you noticed. >> What? >> They're on that? >> They're not. Everyone keeps going, "There's going to. be no more jobs." It's like, "All right. [ __ ] make something else.

Like, yeah, make more jobs or. something." Like, you know, it doesn't make any sense. >> Well, in what way? Like, I also don't. think that I think there's going to be. jobs. >> Yeah. >> I think so, too. >> Yeah. >> I was watching this doc like 2 days ago. called how I became a apocaloptimist or. something like that. It was a But it was. like a The whole thing is just a dude. interviewing people who like make AI, and all of those people He even had like. the CEOs on there. They're like, "Yeah, we for real don't know what the [ __ ] is. happening with this.". Like, it's like major CEOs being like.

real pessimistic about it. And it wasn't. It wasn't a good. The The point they were trying to make. is I guess we're moving too fast. Like, everybody's trying to be the best, but. because everybody's trying to be the. best, we're not being careful as like a. like the whole planet. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And it's kind of. >> I also saw a news that said people are. stealthily reversing their AI decisions, too. Just like they're not like publicly. making it known. Yeah. But that's not It's still They're. [ __ ] still moving dangerously fast.

>> I was. I I was walking around earlier today, and I was thinking about. uh You see like the Mexican guys, construction crews, like building stuff? And uh. you know they can like 3D print the. foundations of houses now? Yeah. >> Oh yeah, yeah. I've seen that. >> Like. uh Those guys are going to have a lot of. time on their hands. So it's. open up the porn. Open up the porn again. >> Oh yeah. >> to not be able They're going to have to.

like be on site, but they don't have to. build. >> Yeah, they're just going to jack off. >> Jack off. >> [laughter]. >> They're just going to have to jack off. at every job site. I wonder how often the lads hit a. [ __ ] jack off at a site. >> Probably pretty in the porta-potty? >> Yeah. Yeah, hitting the siesta. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Hitting the mid. >> Ay, ay, ay. >> Hitting that midday [ __ ]. >> to keep them busy, dude. You ever see. the lads after work? >> Yeah. >> The six-pack of Modelo on the bike, dude.

>> Yes. >> You got the six-pack. >> the truck. >> Or in the truck. >> In the truck, yeah. >> Actively drinking. >> Behind the wheel. >> So often. >> [laughter]. >> Just a guy driving with a [ __ ] beer. It's on every road here. >> [laughter]. >> And I support it. Not drinking and driving. I don't. support drinking and driving, but I. support the lads doing it. >> Having fun. >> They They seem to handle it until they. don't. And then until they [ __ ] flip their. [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. [laughter].

[gasps]. >> Then they're right back on the hot side. of the highway taking another siesta. I'm like You see them like. >> Like like not You're not even like hurt, just just like uh. >> [ __ ] yeah. Yes. >> [laughter]. >> Dude, there's so many videos of a. Mexican guy hammered crashing his car. and he and people are filming and they. get out and they're like, "What did you. do?" And the guy just. >> [laughter]. >> Just lays down. >> Yeah, he literally doesn't [laughter]. He's good. >> Yeah, I got. jack off.

>> [laughter]. >> I was I was jerking off in the passenger. seat. The driver took off. >> [laughter]. >> So, you got to crank one in a in the. police in the cop car if you know it's. going to be like. your last one. >> Yes, you're about to get locked up. >> Well, I rub it out. >> [laughter]. >> Actually. >> thigh rub it out. >> Ew, dude. >> You got to [ __ ] one more time before you. get in. >> What if you did the act? >> [laughter].

>> That was [ __ ]. What in the [ __ ] a thigh rub, dude? >> Yeah, I ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW. >> [laughter]. >> WAIT, NO, NO, PLEASE. >> YOU JUST THIGH RUB? >> You just like tuck your meat and then. you you just like. >> [laughter]. >> I can't believe you never did thigh. rubs. >> [laughter]. >> This is crazy. >> No, eventually never. >> All right. >> I fully believe him. >> [laughter].

>> Also, he's got those thick ass thighs, dude. >> Yeah, it feels crazy. >> [laughter]. >> It probably does, actually, yeah. So, you hit [ __ ] thigh rub jack off? >> Not I'm not in a long time. What I'm. saying. >> What's a long time? But like. >> Like since like maybe like. when did I start driving? >> [laughter]. >> While you're driving? >> No, not while I'm driving. I was just. trying to think of time frame. Probably. like 25. >> When you when you were 25 years old? >> Before then, yeah. 22, 25 in that area.

>> 22 to 25 you were. not using your hands and jacking off by. moving back and forth. >> That's. >> Stop doing the movement. The movement. [laughter] is. It's [ __ ] gross. Does it feel good. right now? Ew. >> I bet. >> I'm not I'm not I'm not jacking right. now. >> [laughter]. >> You're not jacking? >> No, I'm jacking. >> Wait, you're not jacking right now? Or. you mean like. >> jacking. I'm not jacking. >> [laughter]. >> What you said? He's been jacking off forever.

>> [laughter]. >> [ __ ]. I'm not jacking. off right now. I swear. >> Well, now you. Now you can't be trusted. >> [laughter]. >> True. >> You cannot be trusted, dude. I'm going to see you walking and be like. >> [laughter]. >> I know he's tucked in between his. thighs, dude. He's a freak ball. >> [laughter]. >> That's the red light. You block out. >> It is, yeah. The lights change. automatically. >> Alexa, make the sun red and then. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Ah.

Yeah, I'm just going to. >> [laughter]. >> I'm going to set fire to that house. I'm going to burn that house to. Pool house is condemned. >> [laughter]. >> It is. >> It's going to fall. Yeah, that house is. collapsing. >> I saw I saw a crack in the near where. the door is and I was like, I'm doomed. >> Yeah, you're. >> [laughter]. >> One of us is going to have a house. collapse. >> Getting smooshed. >> If you get smooshed mid-thigh. >> [laughter]. >> It'll make me feel better.

>> Yeah, true. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Dude, that's That's really funny to get. in a car accident and. >> [laughter]. >> And then a cop being, "Sir, >> Yeah. >> sir, stop." [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> I'm allowed to do this. >> Yeah. I'm going to break your window to. get you out. >> The. Blizz has been watching Midwest Midwest. Safety with me. We've had some great. ones. The one of the meth lady getting her car.

attacked. >> That's probably my favorite so far. >> really great. The lady at a gas station and they're. like, she's got a warrant. They pull up three cars, box her in. immediately. Four cops come up to the. window and they're like, "Open the door. now." And she's like, "What?" And. they're like, "I'm going to break the. window if you don't open the It took. 20 seconds of them being like, "Open the. door." to like five cops punching her. car. Everyone just started wailing on this. car. Guys started stabbing the [ __ ]. tire. They just. >> [laughter]. >> beat the [ __ ] out of this lady's car. She's on meth. [clears throat] SHE'S. LIKE, "WHAT?".

>> SHE SHE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SHE WAS. TRYING TO get gas. She didn't even get. to get out. >> Yeah, she didn't get out of the car. >> They like. >> boxed her in immediately. Started. wailing on her car. >> Yeah. >> You see the body cam of the guy. >> [laughter]. >> takes his knife out. >> Yeah, he just stabs the tire. She's like, "Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me?". [laughter]. "Fuck you, bitch.". >> She escapes, too. She like gets away. >> She escaped in the garage? >> Yeah, she wrecks, yeah, a lot. Then she. crashes later then hides under just a.

person's porch. She's under there. smoking. She gets a couple She gets a. couple more. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> She was awesome. Then she goes to the. hospital and just really talks [ __ ] back. and forth with the cop like in a really. funny way. She's like, "Yeah, have fun. working at Costco the rest of your life. You just lost your [ __ ] career, bitch.". >> [laughter]. >> He's like, "Fuck you, lady.". He's like, "You just swallowed 15 bags. of fentanyl. You shouldn't talk to. anybody." She's like, "I'll talk to I'll. [ __ ] spit it out whenever I want.". >> [laughter]. >> I'll [ __ ] This is fun. >> Oh, yeah. She.

Yeah, he's like, "Your bail's $500,000. You going to pay that?" She's like, "Yeah.". >> Yeah, she's [laughter] like, "Yeah, no. problem, dude.". She's like, "I just got to [ __ ] these. bags out.". >> [laughter]. >> That's 500 grand right there. >> She swallowed 15 bags of fentanyl. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> They yank her out from under a porch. She just smoked. They found a crack pipe. with her. >> [laughter]. >> Mad respect for that. >> She was awesome. Crashed a car, sprinted. through a neighborhood, hid under a. porch, and just goes, >> [laughter]. >> "They're never going to find me.".

>> Yeah, you got to get it in before you. go. >> Yeah. >> Before you hit the clink. >> It'd be awesome. I'd be I'd be so happy. to be in the house when she did that. To. be like, "You see a crazy lady sprint. through your backyard?". >> Yeah. >> Then light up a. [ __ ] crack and then have. >> Hey, you're going to smell it. >> dog run under the porch and find her. >> [laughter]. >> I'd be like, "Wait, that's my sister. She's not smoking crack.". >> She's awesome. >> And then and then you let her inside and. you get [ __ ] [laughter]. >> Yeah, actually it's not my sister. Get. take her away.

>> No. >> Oh, man. >> He's getting close to those Rins, dude. >> Oh, yeah, true. >> They're back in the Bud Light box. >> They are. >> Dang, that's nice. >> Actually it was really nice to see that. they're back. >> Yeah, they really missed us. >> Can you hear anything? >> Uh no, I'm not sure about that. I just. can't Every time I see a Mexican guy. from now on I'm going to think about how. bad he wants to. >> Yeah, how bad he wants to jerk off. >> [laughter]. >> I don't think anyone's close to what. Lemair's up to. >> Yeah, true. Lemair's the new leader in.

the clubhouse. >> [laughter]. >> I mean that's the most preposterous. >> thigh rubbed. >> It's possible, dude. >> Anything is possible. >> [laughter]. >> May I May I ask a personal question? >> Uh yeah. >> Have you thigh rubbed all the way to. completion? >> Obviously, yes. >> [laughter]. >> You saw the way his face dropped. He knew exactly what he's done. [laughter].

>> You thigh rubbed to completion? >> I don't think so. >> He also used to jack off on his knees. >> Oh, yeah. [laughter]. I did. >> He'd sit behind his grandma's couch and. sit on his knees and jack off on the. floor. [laughter]. >> So she wouldn't see me. There were. stairs. >> You would hide behind your grandma's. couch. >> [laughter]. >> Granny knows. >> [laughter]. >> I had to I just couldn't see me. >> You're usually number one. >> Have Yeah. >> Damn. >> Uh.

>> The boys are going wild tonight. >> [laughter]. >> They're ready for the Spurs, dude. They're trying to speed run this. >> Yeah, that's true. >> Go Spurs go. >> Um. What's that? Oh. >> Think they got it this game? I think the Spurs are going to win game. two. >> Yeah. >> But. New York's pretty awesome. >> Yeah. >> Brunson's the [ __ ] man. >> Yeah. >> It's unbelievable. >> I think Hart's the [ __ ] man. Cat I. was I was happy for Cat.

>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Cat played really well. >> I kind of came around on the Knicks. watching that game. >> I hated the feeling of it but like I. used like. Cat kind of like locking with me up like. the first two quarters was I mean he had. he made it hard for Wemby. >> Yeah. Harder than anybody did all. playoffs. >> You make it hard for anybody. >> [laughter]. >> The way you were the way you were. dressed man. >> Ooh. >> It wasn't that bad. It was just a. beater. Everybody thought it was a V a. deep V. >> It wasn't a beater it was a deep V he.

cut the sleeves off. >> He keeps saying I cut the sleeves off a. deep V. >> [laughter]. >> Is that true? >> No. >> So I. >> That's. Obviously not true. >> Would you ever do that? That's actually. kind of That's nice. >> No. >> [laughter]. >> You should start dressing like Sefo. Toya. >> That is yeah if that was real that's. that's R&B [ __ ]. >> No one's told you brought up the long. tees. >> The long tees. >> Super long tees but not baggy. >> And the scarves. >> Yeah. Shout out Sefo Toya. >> Sefo Toya had the drip. >> He did have the drip. Probably still. does. >> Definitely. >> [laughter].

>> Yeah that doesn't go away. >> Yeah it's true. It's not it's not all me. Sefo Toya. >> Sefo Toya's drip you don't lose that. >> [laughter]. >> You're born with that. >> Mhm. >> I wish we had BZ here. >> I know. >> BZ just breaking Anytime you see him he. just breaks a story. Just goes he's. Dude. Sefo Toya you got [ __ ] banned. from Helium. >> [laughter]. >> Dude I don't give a [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> Keemstar. dumb ass. Keem. [laughter].

He truly is word on the street. >> Yeah BZ immediately. >> Did you go to hear it in the streets? >> Yo. >> Yeah. [laughter] Dude. >> The smoke shop guy. >> Pat House getting. >> [laughter]. >> Did you even Philly comics? You got to. [ __ ] yeah. >> I I always forget the name of his local. smoke shop, but I rode my bike by it a. couple days ago. >> that we said looked like him? >> [laughter]. >> He got mad at us. We were in the car after a Phillies We. were in the car after a Phillies game.

Bees was a menace at the game. And then uh we're in the car and for. some reason he got mad. The Bud Man, is that what it is? >> Bud Man in it. >> Bud Bandit. There's like a Bud Bandit. uh. >> [laughter]. >> You're the Bud Man. There's a Bud Bandit. billboard that just looks like Bees. We're like, "Yo, Bees, there's your. billboard." He's like, "Yo, I don't. [ __ ] look like that guy at all. [ __ ]. you." [laughter]. >> It's just a Yeah, it's just a white guy. with a hat and sunglasses. It does look like him. >> like Bees. >> [laughter].

>> It's exactly like the Bees. So [laughter]. Yeah. He got pissed. >> New Jersey. >> Like, "I don't [ __ ] do that [ __ ]. [ __ ] you." All right, sorry, [laughter]. Bees. I miss the Bees dearly. >> Me, too. I can't wait to see him uh just in in. Philadelphia. >> I'm going to get up there. >> See what he's up to. He's probably at Bonners. >> [laughter]. >> I'd love that. >> I can't wait to get to Bonners. >> Yeah, I haven't been to Bonners in a. minute. >> It's time. >> Yeah. >> We're due.

>> Bonners is nice. >> I like seeing that really old guy at. Bonners. There's a really old man who. Looks like he's pirate. >> He looks like a pirate. He comes every. day. >> Yeah. >> And uh. >> And there's the guy with the dog. The. Guinness dog. You ever see that? This. guy with like a purple dog. >> [laughter]. >> He dyed it hair purple and he makes it. drink Guinness. >> Mhm. >> Really? >> Yeah, it's pretty great. >> [laughter]. >> The dog sits at the bar and drinks. Guinness out of a bowl. You know, yeah, [ __ ] yeah. I'm going to. die here. This is perfect. You got the Bees to my.

left. >> [laughter]. >> Bees on the table. >> Bees on the table. >> [laughter]. >> His Guinness bowl. >> Bees and Guinness bowl. >> Yeah, Conman's a menace in there, too. >> [laughter]. >> Dude, I don't know what happens anytime. when Bonner's out. Bonner's. >> upside down. >> [laughter]. >> He's. dying. I've seen him dead in there 20 times. >> Every picture I've seen from there, it's. like. >> [laughter]. >> He gains 80 lb when he gets his belly. sticks straight out. He more He's like a.

pig going back into the wild. It takes. like 3 days for him to grow tusks. >> [laughter]. >> He's a wild boar instantly. That was where I switched the game on. him. He was trying to watch the game. from like. 2010. >> [laughter]. >> YouTube full game and he was. >> Didn't notice. >> Don't [ __ ] going on here. >> [laughter]. >> He didn't notice that it was a full. >> No, he watched. >> He watched a game from like '04 for a. >> [laughter].

>> for a [ __ ] 20 minutes on his phone. >> And it was a game he was just at. >> He just left like Eagles-Titans or. Eagles-Falcons. >> [laughter]. >> It was like Falcons-Bucs on the TV. Yeah. He's like, "They're playing again? >> [laughter]. >> They got another game today.". But yeah, that. that I mean, I'm excited to go to the. basketball game again tonight. I can't I. can't keep. can't keep away. >> Yeah. >> Every day I wake up, I go, "I I should.

[ __ ] chill.". >> [laughter]. >> And it's like, I could also go to the. [ __ ] game. >> Dude, aren't you. not to get in your business, but aren't. you going to be in NYC, too? >> I am going to New York tomorrow. >> Dude. >> You think I hit the entire series? >> Dude, you think you're going. >> You think I hit the whole [laughter]. series? >> You think you're going to hit the whole. series, dude? >> Yeah, man. >> [laughter]. >> I got to say. >> I know. >> Wait, you might be You're like the the. guy who sits at every. >> No, Goldstein. The the old guy, the.

really old guy who got hit with a. missile. >> [laughter]. >> You can call me anything you want, but. don't call me that. >> [laughter]. >> You're [ __ ] Goldstein. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, if I could get perfect attendance, it would be sick. They asked I I was thinking about going. to the White House UFC. >> Ooh. >> It's a tough one. >> Yeah. >> [laughter].

>> It's a tough one to go to. I can't. decide. It's a tough choice. cuz it's going to be sick as [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> It's on the White House lawn. >> And their new lawn, it's like new, right? >> dude. >> Didn't they just like make it for this? >> Yeah. Yeah, they're like still building. it, I guess, right? A giant dome. >> [laughter]. >> I mean, it's. >> Also, if you get hit if if somebody. blows it up, it's a good way to go. >> Yeah. >> Then. >> you're sure to get a mural. >> Yes. >> You'll get a mural. >> It'd be a crazy mural.

Attended to the UFC. It's [laughter]. going to be crazy. >> Is you, Kid Rock, >> Me, Kid Rock, Trump. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, that might not be Yeah, the. >> [laughter]. >> Rogies. >> On the side of like a gas station in. Washington, D.C. >> You guys are sitting around a big. podcast table. >> [laughter]. >> Big podcast table in the sky. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Damn. >> That would be sick, though. >> yeah, if you get hit with a bazooka at.

that. >> [laughter]. >> Get hit with a bazooka. >> Hit with a If that's how you go. >> Yeah. >> I died on the White House lawn watching. a UFC fight, got hit with a missile. >> Yeah, hit with a bazooka. >> It might be the O-Block bazooka, >> [laughter]. >> the one from Chicago. Did you ever see that the. >> One of the Yeah. >> One of the O-Blockians. >> got his hand on a. >> [laughter]. >> One of the O-Blockians got his hand on a. [ __ ] bazooka. >> No disrespect. Shout out to Shout out to. the block. >> For sure. >> Dude, that's that is the most American.

way to go. On the White House lawn. during a UFC event by bazooka. >> Yes. >> That's like Yeah. Yeah. They'll [ __ ]. They'll spread your dust with a flag. >> Yeah. >> That is Yeah. That's all. >> It's really Yeah, you're It's Tillman. >> Really? Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> I'm going to statue outside of Helium. There's a statue of Pat Tillman running. with his hair. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> He didn't sleep on this. >> [laughter]. >> Uh. yeah. So, that's We got that going on. >> I was thinking about going to the UFC.

and. and McGregor's coming back. I've never. I've never gotten to see him fight. I'm. supposed to be locking in and focusing. on work. >> Yeah. Who's McGregor fighting? >> Max Holloway. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah, it's going to be awesome. >> Yeah, that's going to be a banger. Well, yeah. I don't know if McGregor has rust, though. >> Probably. >> Yeah. And Max has been fighting. >> Max is an animal. >> He's in his He's in his prime right now, actually. >> Yeah, he's. doesn't show up, he's going to get his. [ __ ] leveled. >> He's going to get eat stuff.

>> [laughter]. >> Yeah, that would be fun. That would be a. good fight. >> I don't know. We'll see. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> There's too many cool things going on. this summer. >> It's a good summer. >> But, I got to focus on the Link show. >> Yeah. >> Instead, it's like, I think I'll go to. the World Cup. >> Yeah. >> Then you go, "Oh, [ __ ] The All-Star. game's in Philly the same week as my. show. Sick.". I'll go to that instead of focusing. I'll get drunk for 4 days at the MLB. All-Star game for some reason. >> [laughter]. >> I don't give a [ __ ] about the All-Star.

game. I'll just sit there and go. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Home run derby? >> Let's go, judge. >> Yeah. >> Does he still play? >> Yeah, though I think he's out right now. >> Yeah, he hurt he broke something. >> stress fracture in his rib. >> Yeah. I don't know anybody in baseball. anymore, I think. I think everybody I. used to know is old now. >> Who do you Who do you know? >> Uh what's his name, Yelich? >> Who? >> Or Christian Yelich or whatever. >> That's a crazy pull. >> who had to beat David Robinson. >> You're very specific. >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> He's great. Yeah, I'm surprised that was. your guy.

>> [laughter]. >> I know. >> Aaron Aaron Judge. Shohei. Bryce Harper. >> You're naming current players. >> Yeah, but they're like old now, right? No? >> You can you can you can be kind of old. in baseball. >> Okay, yeah. Justin Verlander doesn't play anymore, though. >> I don't think so. >> Okay. That was the only pitcher I knew. of. >> Yeah. >> Stephen Strasburg. >> We're looking up We're looking up some. Drysdale stats. Very funny, cuz Christopher Sanchez for. the Phillies would set the record for. scoreless innings for the Phillies, and.

he was close to the all-time, but the. all-time is held by. [ __ ] I forget his name. He's a Dodger, whatever. But second place was Drysdale. >> Yeah. >> from the bags on you, Drysdale. >> Yeah. >> And he was. a one out short of tying the record. It. was like 53 and 2/3, and the record was. 54. A pinch hitter from the Phillies. came. >> Oh. >> And he said, "The bags on you.". >> [laughter]. >> Got a [ __ ] sack fly in the fifth. inning to ruin his record. >> He didn't kill that hooker. >> [laughter].

>> Drysdale's with his primo [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> Comes downstairs, the fucker's still. pissed. >> [laughter]. >> A light. I think they meant to say all. right. They typed a light. >> Yeah. >> Quick break from the show for a special. segment called more or less playoff. edition, and it's brought to you by. PrizePicks, a preferred partner of the. NBA. The NBA finals are here, and. legacies are on the line. Who's looking. sharp, and who's just like a pedestrian. on the court? Tell you what, there was a. pedestrian on the court. >> There was. >> I know.

I didn't He took the selfie. >> Yeah, it's pretty great. >> I watched that happen. >> Yeah. >> He ran right by us. It was awesome. >> Someone Yeah, someone was like someone. just ran on the court, and I missed it. >> [laughter]. >> That's what they didn't. >> [ __ ]. >> He did run like the players were moving. down the court, too. He just There's. just a guy running. [laughter]. >> That's so wild. >> Lamar, who do you think is looking. sharp? >> Dude, Kat's looking pretty sharp right. now. >> Yeah, Kat's looking sharp. I like that. >> Uh yeah, and I I'll go more on whatever. his numbers are. >> Okay, yeah, you like Kat. >> Wow, nice. After all that?

>> [laughter]. >> Uh please begin with your NBA finals. picks. Make sure the players are playing. this week. Kat, you're going with Kat? >> Yeah. >> What are you thinking? For what? This is what we're thinking. for picks this week. There you go. Lamar says Kat. >> More. >> Yeah. >> Kat more. >> 14 and a half for Kat? I like that. >> I'd go more for sure. >> More? >> Yeah. >> What about what's Wemby at? He's kind of due tonight. Although this. will be out what, tomorrow?

[ __ ]. >> [clears throat]. >> Yeah. >> due. >> He's due? >> He's due. >> I'd go more. >> More or less, which teams or players are. getting too much or not enough. attention? Who do you think is not getting enough. attention, Lamar? Kat? >> De'Aaron Fox, he's my favorite player. >> You like De'Aaron Fox? >> I love De'Aaron Fox. Love the Sacramento. Kings. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> De'Aaron Fox needs more attention. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> He's all on defense. >> All right, get in on the action and make. your picks from everything points to. rebounds to dunks, three-pointers, and. fantasy score. Before the NBA champion.

is crowned, PrizePicks is a preferred. partner of the NBA. Uh download the app today and use code. drenched to get $50 instantly in lineups. when you play your first $5. That's code. drenched to get $50 instantly after you. play your first $5. PrizePicks, a. preferred partner of the NBA. This is good. Lamar, what's going on. with you and your life? Fill us in, man. >> Uh. I'm chilling right now. Trying to do. more shows. >> Still chilling? >> I'm trying to do more shows. I got a cop. shirt. [snorts]. I'm going to do more cop things. >> You got a cop shirt? You're going to do.

cop. >> I'm going to pretend to be a cop. >> You're going to impersonate an officer? >> Yeah. >> They're going to draw on you. >> like on the internet. >> You're going to pretend to be a cop on. the internet? >> No, like for real. >> No, I mean, but what are you going to. do? >> Just like just like some get some I'm. going to pretend to do a house call for. a guy. He's going to like be yelling at. his girlfriend and I'm going to go over. there and like yo dude, you got to. chill. And then there's a bong and like. take a hit of that. Then he offers me a. hit and then we become best friends. >> Nice. >> Is this a sketch? What's What are you. even talking about? >> I'm just thinking of stuff I was going. to make. >> You know what would be a funny sketch?

If you're the cop and you come in. and it's a domestic dispute and then you. also hit the woman. >> [laughter]. >> You go, "What that [ __ ] said?". Square up. >> Yeah, okay. [laughter]. >> Square up then. There you go. >> You just let them fight. >> Yeah, let them [laughter] fight. >> She's a strong guy. >> I like that. Is it cop Is it What kind. of cop shirt? Is it like a just a reg-. like what cops wear? >> No, it's like a. it's like a button-down shirt and it.

says cop right here. >> [laughter]. >> Oh yeah, that is what the cops wear. >> [laughter]. >> Cop. >> Cop. >> It just says cop right over the heart. [laughter]. >> Nate, can you hand me that officer's hat. over there? It's going to be a little preview. It's. a preview for the mayor. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, you're going to need to All right. That's cool. You could probably get away. with that. >> I'm going to do some officer. >> good as a cop. >> I'm going to do some get readies with me. as a cop.

>> Get ready with me. Wow. >> [laughter]. >> Thank you. Yeah. That's good. >> I feel official. [laughter]. >> I like it. The The brim looks. >> [laughter]. >> Damn. >> No, no, I like it lower. >> wear that with a little thigh robe. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> You're under arrest. Show me your [ __ ]. Show me your [ __ ] or I'm going to shoot. you. >> [laughter]. >> Uh could you like uh show me your [ __ ].

>> Yeah. [laughter]. No, that's a red light cop. >> That's a red light cop for sure. >> [gasps]. >> Just red lights on the top of the car. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. Cop with. He's already handcuffed himself. >> He's got just red [laughter] lights. >> All right. I have When cop lights are. purple, you know, you ever see those? >> I don't think I have. >> Oh, okay. >> I've never seen Wait.

>> Really? Cuz I think. >> I think those are freaky. >> There's like. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Coming to get you. There's a red light and a blue light and. I think when they like. >> Oh, sure. >> There's like the purple in the middle. >> Yes. >> That's from the mixing, right? >> I would imagine, yeah. >> Yeah. >> You're seeing into like. >> You're seeing the fractals. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> That's true. >> He's so high. He. sees a cargo a cop [snorts] car. >> [laughter]. >> The purple's in the middle. >> Purple cop car. >> Dude, there's purple [snorts] in the.

middle. There's. >> It must be for the most Yeah. Must be. for the most high frequency crimes. >> [laughter]. >> The purple police. >> Yeah, how nice is that homeless guy? >> Oh, yeah. >> [laughter]. >> When we were walking after Noctis back. to the mothership, this homeless guy. started following us. I saw him. He was. like standing in the middle of the. street. >> Yeah. >> And then when me and Charles walked by, he just started following us. It was. like, "Fuck.". >> Yeah. >> And then he was like, "Can I get some. money?" And and then. a couple lads showed up and were like, "Yo, can we get a picture?" And then the.

homeless guy who just went from being. like, "Can I get some Was in behind the. picture like. >> [laughter]. >> Immediately changed from like, "Please. help." to. >> Yeah, just like, "Yeah, [ __ ] you. [ __ ]. you. Yes, I am.". >> [laughter]. >> No, I think he had a shirt. >> He had a shirt. >> He might have taken it off. >> Yeah, true. >> They pop those things off left and. right. >> You ever [laughter] talk about this. something? He grew up on one of the. homeless guys. >> You what? >> Yeah, he like grew up with one of the. homeless.

>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> He ran into a homeless guy and it was. one of his. >> Wow. >> broskis. >> He said, "Crody!". >> [laughter]. >> He needed help. >> high on my MySpace like top eight. >> Like we were cool on MySpace. >> Oh, he was top eight? >> He was a He was in the top eight. We. were We were real close. But he he. he started trying to be like a thug for. fun. Like he had I don't want to say too. much about his life. >> Sure. >> But he had like a good upbringing and he. ain't he ain't need to. >> He didn't need to do that. >> And. thug for fun gets you in trouble. >> We could. >> Haven't seen him since I saw him I saw. him once walking with Shawn.

>> It's here? Down here? >> Yeah, yeah, it was like in Austin from. like Reddit. >> Well. >> me and Shawn were walking and he pulled. up on us and I don't think I've seen him. since that day. Yeah. Yeah. >> Well. >> That's awesome. >> [clears throat]. >> It is. >> Haven't seen you in years. >> What's up, dude? >> Yeah. >> I'm homeless. >> Can you get me the most [laughter]. high-octane alcohol? >> He did He did get pissed at me cuz I. tried to fist bump him when I saw him. cuz I still had like you know. >> Yeah. >> homeless like. >> Yeah. >> And then I He was like, "You're not. going to shake my hand?" And I was like,

"Well, now I got to.". >> Yeah. >> Now [laughter] I got to. I have to. He's right. I mean it all do you know, whatever. >> I wouldn't mind bringing back the. MySpace top eight. >> I know. That'd be cool. >> where you stand with people. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. Be honest. >> I'd love to be an adult man mad at. another adult man being like, "Yo, I'm. not in your top eight.". >> Remember you got a girlfriend and you. had to like move her above your boys so. you can get some [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> Well, I don't remember that, but I get I. get what you mean.

>> Do you Do you Do you pin contacts? That's like a top eight. You're only. allowed to do nine of those. >> What, on your phone? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You have pinned contacts? >> That's your top eight, dude. >> [laughter]. >> I mean, I'm going to It's just I haven't. done it in forever. >> I think Andy and Nate are my and Shawn, you guys are in my top eight twice. >> That's nice. >> No, wait. >> That's cool. Taking up the. >> It's Matt, Soder, O'Connor, Billy. McConaughey, and McKeever. >> Yeah, that's. >> It's a good one.

>> I haven't But this is from like. >> I know I never touched my ears. Yeah, same. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> This is a good podcast. >> I think we're doing good. >> No, this. >> I think we [ __ ] did it again. We. killed it again. >> Well, [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Dog, I would like to know what's going. on with you. Can you explain why you're so chipper? >> Uh no, I can't explain it and now I'm. kind of worried about it. >> Yeah, he's been running. >> Have you been running?

>> I jogged Oh yes, yeah, you told me that. >> Oh, nice. >> I jogged earlier this week. >> Yeah. >> It might be that. >> I jog on Monday. >> Yeah, dude, residual jog. >> Yeah, I'm you know, it's nice. I feel. good. >> Yeah. >> Residual jog. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, I'm I'm working off a residual jog. from. 2018. That was the last time I jogged. >> [laughter]. >> It's crazy. I still feel good. Yeah. >> I still got that runner's high. It's a. hell of a workout. >> I uh. >> [snorts].

>> I went to. 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu today and then uh. I walked in and I didn't see any of my. friends there and I just like, "What?". >> Yeah, you got to leave. >> [ __ ] it. >> Yeah. >> I got to leave. These guys are going to. kill me. >> [laughter]. >> That's. >> I walked right back out. >> Yeah, that's embarrassing. >> Yeah. >> You should have hit him with a little. thigh rub. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Somebody Somebody gets full mount. This guy. >> Oh my god. >> I got bad news for you, bro. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> I'm about to [ __ ] nut.

You think you won? >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, you're That's like a Batman. villain. >> Yeah, you really are. >> The thigh rub. >> Well, well, just [laughter]. >> She's a skunk, dude. She's just [ __ ]. You get close to her and. >> [laughter]. >> You filth. >> Yeah. >> You can't hurt me. This is actually. feels better for me. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, this is what I like. >> No matter what type of jujitsu move you. put on me. >> [laughter]. >> I'm going to go. >> Yeah. Guys, did you see that cop who came in.

his pants today? At the jujitsu place? >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, stop or I'll shoot. >> Yeah, there you go. A cop shirt. >> [laughter]. >> So, what is what I Yeah, I can't I don't. really understand a cop shirt plan. >> I don't either. >> [laughter]. >> I'm just going to I don't know. I'm. going to put it on. I'm going to set my. phone up. Just see what happens. >> [laughter]. >> Okay. >> I don't know. >> I think it'll.

>> it'll be great. >> Yeah. You know what? Speaking of this you mentioned this a. couple of weeks ago, but the food show. Food Show's great. You should wear the. cop shirt and get free free meals. >> should start stealing valor at food. trucks. >> There you go. Oh, I also. >> a full military uniform would be. awesome. >> Yes. [clears throat]. >> You'd be like, "I'm in the I was a Navy. SEAL.". >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. You're like, "I'm actually. I'm Dorner.". >> [laughter]. >> I'm Chris Dorner. I'm Dorner. >> Then he killed me.

>> I got out. >> [laughter]. [gasps]. >> Man, they they killed the [ __ ] out of. him, right? >> Yeah, they [ __ ]. >> explode that house? >> Yeah. It was like. Yeah, I remember when they did that, I. was like, "It's kind of sad how how. they did they just obliterated him.". >> It's like [ __ ] Yeah, it looks like. the Godfather. >> Yeah, it's the whole booth. >> [laughter]. >> I think you got him, fellas. >> Yeah. A a le movable feast.

>> Yeah, you could be the new. You get Dorner out in your cop uniform. >> [laughter]. >> See the one with the Is he the Is he the. Tesla guy? >> No. >> No. >> He's California, though, right? >> I think he was California. >> California, yeah. This guy Yeah, you. take. >> I know what he. >> looks like. I know I know about his. manifesto. Wasn't he like told [ __ ]. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah, and I think he shouted out like. Chappelle. >> Yeah, he would like watch stand-up a. lot. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Well, I'm sure I'm sure a lot of those.

guys do. Um. >> [laughter]. >> but. cop shirt or yeah, full military. and then you go to Are you going to like. go to public places? >> He has no idea what He [laughter] hasn't. thought of any of this. Step one is buy. cop uniform. >> Yeah, where did you get it? >> [laughter]. >> Amy Shanker, she had a shirt and I was. like, "Can I buy that for me?" She's. like, "Yeah.". >> That's so funny. >> Yeah. >> For 15 bucks. >> 15 bucks? >> Yeah, for a nice cop shirt.

>> That's nice. >> Yeah. And it fits good. >> All right, that's good. That's great. >> dude. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Cop. >> Might need to see it. >> Yeah. >> Oh, it's in your car. It's in your car? >> Yeah. >> You haven't brought it inside yet? >> No, yeah. >> You're saving it? >> Just in case. [laughter]. >> That's actually That's nice, too. You. can put it like in your back window and. like be like, "I can park here.". >> Yeah. >> I'm [laughter] a cop. >> I have a cop shirt. >> He just says cop. >> Yeah, if you get pulled over, you got to. put it on real fast. >> [laughter].

>> I'm undercover, bro. >> Yeah. >> I don't know if you can tell. >> I was I was just watching Reno 911 late. night and I was like, "Why don't I do. that?". >> [laughter]. >> Yes. >> It's a [snorts] great way to live. >> Just watching a show going, "I'll do the. show that I like.". >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, I don't need the cameras. or a script. I'm just going to start pretending I'm. in Reno 911. >> [laughter]. >> And I am Niecy Nash. No.

>> [laughter]. >> You're so happy. It's very nice. The. dopers, why are you guys in such a good. You guys hate Matt? >> No. >> [laughter]. >> The [ __ ] Matt's not here and you guys. are all so happy. >> I don't know. >> Does he do stuff to you guys? >> No. >> [laughter]. >> That's nice. >> It's great. >> It's been a nice couple days. >> Yeah. >> Great. >> That's good. >> No,

when you guys came here yesterday, that. was That was a low point for me. >> Yeah. >> I didn't even come out of my room. They came, they set up all the stuff. >> I Yeah. >> Just from my room, I was like, "I can't. I can't [laughter]. I can't move.". >> But I was leaving, I was like, "Get. well, Shady." He just went, "No.". >> [laughter]. >> It was It was a tough one. Cuz we drank [ __ ] White Claws. >> Yeah. >> On the way Like White Claws in the van. on the way to the game. >> Is it Tommy move? >> It was Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> Every time I drink White Claws, I get. Was it those Surge ones? >> Tommy got them. It was the Surge ones. Was it the blue cans? >> No, it was White Claws. >> Oh, okay. >> It wasn't Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It. wasn't It was regular ones. >> What's the Surge? >> It's just like 8% White Claws. >> Yeah, that's stronger. >> That's crazy that they make a version. that's. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> They doubled the [clears throat]. formula. >> Yeah. That's evil. It's actually. >> [laughter]. >> That's going straight to Bumps. >> Yes. >> No one else No one else is drinking. those. The Surge is literally being.

handed to Bumps. >> [laughter]. >> I got to say it It's uh. I don't know if they're real, but I kind. of like those videos where they they. give the homeless like weapons and [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> It's all the machete ones. It's all them. unwrap a machete. >> The guy goes, "Oh my god. Thank you. I. can I can use this.". >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. It's probably not the best. >> Yeah. >> It's probably a terrible thing. >> Yeah, I wish he said, "I wouldn't know.

what to do with this.". >> Yeah. >> I bet he cuts himself first. Like real bad. Trying to put it away. >> immediately. >> like swinging it. Like he was really. good. He was nice with the machete right. off the bat. He was He had a shopping. cart and a guy comes over. [clears throat] and goes, "You want 20. bucks or a gift?" He goes, "Gift.". Machete, he goes, "Give me that 20. bucks.". >> [laughter]. >> Oldest trick in the book. How did you. not see that coming? >> How did you hand me a sword? >> [laughter].

>> The bag's on you, dumbass. >> you. >> Yeah. The bag is on him. Now you're empty-handed. >> And dead. >> You're getting stabbed. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> With a sword in 2026. >> Yeah. >> Give me those metal glasses, too. >> Yeah, he took his glasses, too. >> No, but I mean. I'm sure. That's the new Blair Witch. It's a. homeless guy. >> [laughter]. >> That's actually a good Actually. >> Yeah, didn't it when we watched it? It.

looks like like when the cats Like if. you put a GoPro on a cat, there's some. of these cop videos. They're so good. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah. Runs into another guy. >> [laughter]. >> I love those cat videos. They're great, dude. >> Yeah, they're making noises that I. didn't know cats could make. >> Give me an example. >> Like. Like a. uh uh. They got a real high purr.

>> [laughter]. >> It's nice. >> [laughter]. >> What else is going on, guys? What else is in the news other than the. Legos and uh. >> And the guy jerking off and. >> AI. >> Oh, yeah. >> AI that nobody can explain why it's. scary. >> What else Yeah, what's the new. >> No jobs. >> Why no jobs? >> No water. >> The water I've heard about it and I. don't like that. >> Water's scary. >> Yeah.

>> People's electric costs go up a ton. like if you're near a. >> data center. >> Yeah, if you're near a data center. >> see that man struggle with the. >> [laughter]. >> That's how I feel. >> Data centers, jobs. >> They're taking our jerbs and our derbs. >> They're taking our jerbs and then. they're giving it to robots. >> They're giving it to the robots. >> They're giving it to the robots. The the. How do you say robots with a hard R? >> They they got robots working on like. manual labor jobs like like regular. factory just like pick this up, put this.

down [ __ ]. >> They always said that though. >> But I mean like like what? Oh. But uh. >> Now it's automated. >> But yeah, it's like a different like a. different version of it. Not just like. the arm. >> We lost our factories in the '90s. We were just getting them back. We had. like Amazon. >> It's still technically a factory. >> Yeah, at least it's a job, yeah. >> Yeah. We're going to lose that. >> Then they're going to start dropping off. the packages with drones. >> Mhm. Then we're never going to be outside. >> They drop off the package and then they.

malfunction and kick you in the nuts. >> [laughter]. >> Fly away. >> Yeah, your little camera just. >> Yeah, yeah. [laughter]. Then yeah, then you get locked out cuz. it's you're making a face. So it doesn't. yeah. >> [laughter]. >> The those those drone drop off videos. have to become publicly available cuz. they're going to be some of the best. videos. >> Yeah. >> It's old people like. >> [laughter]. >> Here's my package, you dumb bird.

>> [laughter]. >> Is it really that much cheaper for a. drone to drop off all these things? Like. I don't know how they're going to. >> long term like once you after like 5. years of it you haven't paid salaries. >> Yeah, and also they're charging us for. the electricity. So they're not paying for like the. energy it costs to create it or use it. >> To use the drone? >> Yeah. >> They better [ __ ] do something about. that. >> I know, dude. [laughter] We can't, dude. We're in the corporatocracy, dude. Yeah, sleepy Donnie. >> The only way it will work is.

>> Sleepy Donnie's up there, dude. >> Sleepy Donnie. [laughter]. >> Sleepy Donnie's farting and everyone's. acting like he's not farting. >> [laughter]. >> I know he's farting, dude. They keep saying it's fake. He's. farting. >> [laughter]. >> Finally, we're getting to the bottom of. this. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Wait, you talking about the video of the. the JD Vance? >> There's multiple videos of Donald Trump. farting. >> [laughter].

>> That's what you say, dude. >> Yeah. >> That's what you say. >> [laughter]. >> Uh yeah, I know. It is funny. You would be the perfect guy to. investigate. >> [laughter]. >> It's like when they hire uh. DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can. >> Yeah. >> You're one of the best farters in the. world. >> [laughter]. >> Only you can detect if the president's. farting. >> True. >> [laughter]. >> I think you will have to go to DC this. summer. >> Yeah, I might have to bring you to the. I'm bringing you to the White House.

>> [laughter]. >> I do give you permission to catch a. thigh beat in the White House. >> That's what. >> Yes. >> Dude, that's why it's it's open air, dude. You can't smell the farts in open air. >> You think he put it outside so. he could fart? >> I bet you he's sitting like a throne, like an emperor or something, away from. everybody so he could fart. >> [laughter]. >> I'm just. I'm just what? >> I'm just what? What do you think I'm. doing? >> saying, dude, he's farting. He's. farting, dude.

>> He's farting. I believe you. I'm with you on this. >> [laughter]. >> I think Trump's farting. >> Dude, they have to be diabolical farts. He eats McDonald's. >> Yeah, those farts must be crazy. [laughter]. Eating probably Mac McDonald's. >> The [ __ ] Filet-O-Fish. Not even like a Big Mac. >> thing hideous farts? >> [laughter]. >> Well. Well. >> [laughter]. >> Well. >> I think they're all farting. >> All right, never. >> No, no, keep going. >> I think they're all farting, dude. >> They're [laughter] all doing it.

>> This is yeah, it's true. >> Finally, somebody's saying it. God, you. just need to run for office. >> [laughter]. >> Just be like, I'm the only guy not. farting. >> Wow. >> I yeah, I'll fart. [laughter]. I'll tell you about it. >> [laughter]. >> Tell you what, this guy yeah, he's actually farting. >> [laughter]. >> My opponent? >> Yeah, yeah. >> He's farting right now.

>> [laughter]. >> [ __ ] stinks up here. He's been. farting the whole He's been farting the. entire time. >> [laughter]. >> That's a good strategy during debate. Just be like, this guy actually he just. stinks. >> [laughter]. >> It's a really good one. >> Yeah. >> know how no one's done that. >> I know. >> Just mid-debate be like, dude, I don't. know if you guys can smell that. He's. He's been farting the whole time. It's [ __ ] gross. And then you get to. watch the other guy be like, "Uh, no, sir. Sir. >> [laughter]. >> Senator.". >> Yeah. >> I did I've not been farting. >> I have not been farting. I would have. called [ __ ] doorknob.

>> [laughter]. >> I would have called [ __ ] safety. >> Watch your opponent melt. >> Yeah, hit him with the [ __ ] "Ew, dude, did you just fart?" [laughter]. >> It's right in the middle of a question. >> kind of spaz. It happens a lot. >> Any car ride or plane ride, if you're. just like, "Dude, did you fart?" People. are just like, "No, I did not and you. know I'd [ __ ] tell you. >> [laughter]. >> I would tell you if I farted.". >> Like, okay. >> Yeah. >> trying to find out who farted.

>> [laughter]. >> Yeah. The O'Malley man was in there, right? Yeah. >> Is he Is he good for not owning up? >> Mm, yeah, sometimes, but the O'Malley. man's a dead giveaway when it's him. >> Okay. >> He has Trump Trumpian farts. >> [laughter and clears throat]. >> He has farts. He was like, "Oh my god.". I I I denied one. It was so funny. I've I've said it. before, but there was one time me and. her kind of were living together in. Queens. And I was on the couch, he was.

on the other side. He was like from me. to Nate. I farted and within 1 second. he was across the room. He was like, "Ah.". >> [laughter]. >> He was like, "Did you fart?" I was like, "No.". It's just me and him. I just lied. [laughter] to him. I had to come clean. I was like, "I. can't believe that hit you." [laughter]. That thing launched across the room. I It was like a silent fart. >> You lied. What was it? Just you two? >> Yeah. Then [laughter] 1 second later he.

was like, "Ah.". He was standing in [laughter] the. doorway. Man, I found I was looking through my. phone at old videos from when we lived. in New York, me, Tommy, and Chris, and. it is. really funny. >> Yeah. >> Tommy Tommy was on one in New York, dude. >> Yeah. >> He [laughter] was crazy. >> Yes. >> He would just wear like giant baggy. Rocky shorts. He would wear like. American flag gym shorts. And just [laughter] stand and eat and. [ __ ] He was just hammered.

I'd come home, they'd be playing [ __ ]. virtual video games. They would have the meta things on their. head. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. Everyone shut the [ __ ] up. I need to. focus. >> [laughter]. >> Chris and I and one would be in the. kitchen, one would be in the living. room, and they'd be screaming at each. other. They're like, "Just [ __ ] get the. ammo.". "Fuck.". "Fuck.". >> The VR helmet. >> [laughter]. >> Just [ __ ] faced. Tommy was getting. [ __ ] [ __ ] faced. >> [laughter].

>> God forbid. >> Yeah. >> God God forbid people have fun. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, you're hammered, dude. As soon as it left his [ __ ] lips, I. was like, "Are you drunk, dude?". >> [laughter]. >> God forbid. >> Yeah, [ __ ] guys ask for autographs. It sucks. God forbid people love you. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, you're drunk. It's 11:00 a.m. I was like, "Are you. drunk, dude?". >> [laughter]. >> That's crazy. You're drunk. >> [gasps].

[laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What else you got? You got one, Nick. Come on. >> Nothing. I'm excited about the game. tonight. >> Yeah, the game's going to be fun. >> That's all I'm. can't wait to watch it. >> I'm going to try to give Josh Hart a. high five. >> Ooh. >> I got That's my man. >> [laughter]. >> That's my man. Oh my god, hitting that. at the finals courtside. >> It'd be nice. I'm not I'm not courtside. tonight. I'm [snorts] running out of money. >> [laughter]. >> I can't keep going to these games. >> [laughter].

>> Yeah, that's all I got nothing. >> All right. We've We've We've done it. I think people are going to really enjoy. it. LeMaire, Charles, what a treat. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> guys. >> Thanks for having me. >> Yeah. >> Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane. Secret Podcast on Spotify. >> Do it.