Ep 617 - Irish Good Morning

THE WILD WILD WEST. >> DUDE, I just it blew my [ __ ] mind. I. had to talk to somebody about it. >> No, I'd like to hear about it. >> Chuck-E-Cheese is no longer it's not a I. think Bargatze actually has a joke about. it. I think he did or maybe he joked about. how scary it was but like you know we. all know the classic Chuck-E-Cheese. I. was like talking to my kids like yo. guys it might be a little scary in here. They have like [ __ ] up looking mice. dancing and [ __ ] on stage. You go to a. Chuck-E-Cheese now no animatronics. Screen the 2D brother. >> I know.

>> But if you look if you I like YouTube. the old Chuck-E-Cheese like maybe I was. just like making it up it's more [ __ ]. up than you could imagine. >> Old Chuck-E-Cheese. >> Yes, it's so scary. >> [laughter]. >> I like was YouTube and people at the. party like this is what it used to look. like. >> they change it you think? >> I think maybe in maybe in the what's so. kind of call it the aughts? >> Yeah, the early aughts. >> Maybe the early aughts. >> [laughter]. >> I would I would I bet they changed it. when uh. Five Nights at Freddy's or what's that. called? Five Nights at Freddy's it's like a. little kid video game where the. animatronic things come to life at night.

>> And kill you. >> and attack you. I bet when that cuz that. was a hit. >> Yeah, that could have been. >> I bet bringing the kids to see the. actual animatronics [laughter] was it. was probably chaos in the. Chuck-E-Cheese. >> That'd be terrifying. >> 2012 when did Five Nights come out? Ah, that was later. >> That'd be crazy. >> theory going. >> Yeah, this is a good theory. I have. another my brother gave me a really good. theory recently. >> What is it? >> Sean's going to like it. It's about how. smoke breaks how people don't go out. anymore and like stand with each other.

and smoke cigarettes and he thinks it's. having like a. it's [ __ ] us up like we don't know. how to like chill. It's like that was. like a whole rhythm baked into the day. where like everybody like all right. let's step outside all the bros have to. like hang out together for a while puff. sigs talk about whatever. Cuz really. like you and a bunch of people would sit. there. all catch the nicotine buzz at the same. time and it's like a really nice. bonding. Yeah, it's a nice combo it's. it's like a part of our life that now we. miss. >> Yeah, now everyone also works from home. too. >> Exactly. >> Don't even get to hear it on the water. cooler. >> Don't even get it. >> Which are the water coolers a myth by.

the way. I've never I've been in an. office twice. I never once got to chat. around the water cooler. >> No. >> Kitchen microwaves where you chill. >> That's where you chill. >> Yes. >> Water cooler myth. >> It's where you come in and see your. weird manager eating out of a. Tupperware. And you go, >> [laughter]. >> "Jesus Christ.". >> He's microwaving soggy broccoli. >> about him making that at home. >> [laughter]. >> You know, this lonely [ __ ] [ __ ]. sucker. I hate him. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah, you start to see a little. bit. You're like, "Ah, [ __ ] this guy's.

sad, too.". Yeah, he's still a [ __ ] [ __ ]. >> This is kind of embarrassing. Ah, [ __ ]. it. I'll say it. It's kind of tooting my own horn. Whatever. This morning I woke up being a. I was just laying in bed trying to. trying to be depressed. Like I was like. >> [laughter]. >> I was laying in bed like. "Damn, dude. My parents were in like. their 20s when they had my family and. like. I'm [ __ ] old. Like my kids aren't. even going to I'm 38 and instead of. having kids I just. I I did pretty good.

>> [laughter]. >> I caught myself. I was trying to be like I didn't do [ __ ]. with my life. And it took me a second to. be like, "Actually, your shit's pretty. sick, dude. Nice.". >> [laughter]. >> That's so funny. Your Irish genes in the. morning were like, "It's just so much. trouble in me.". >> Yeah, so much. terrible trouble. >> [laughter]. >> Ah, I should have had kids. I'm going to. die alone. I [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> Should have pissed away my life. No, I. actually had a good life. Nice. Yeah, [ __ ] yeah.

>> It is funny to be like. >> Then I got out of bed. I was like, "Nice. This is a good [laughter] start.". >> It is nice trying to run the old program. and it's being like. >> Such a I [ __ ] up. It's still. >> piece of [ __ ] You look around you're. like, "What am I going to do today?". That's [ __ ] awesome. You [ __ ]. >> I'm going to go look [laughter] at a. house. Look at this dumb [ __ ] house. >> Damn it. [ __ ] house. >> This guy is. >> This is the coolest house I've ever. seen. [ __ ] [ __ ] natural redwood. [ __ ] floors. >> [ __ ]. >> kind of sick now that. >> [laughter].

>> I did Me and LeMaire just went and. looked at a house. >> How was it? >> Uh. LeMaire LeMaire asked to come with me. >> Who was it. >> to check out the new digs. >> Now. >> He was he he was checking out the house. more than me. >> I bet. >> But yeah, it's. >> Home inspector. >> I had I'm like I walk in and the lady's. trying to tell me how everything works. and I'm just like. >> Talk to him. >> I'm never going to. >> [laughter]. >> Just. >> Do you get gay couple phobia every now. and again? >> Yes, the neighbor Dude, the neighbor is. the man.

>> What? >> The neighbor is the man. >> [ __ ] that rule. >> outside shirtless. >> Yes. >> Played He used to play ball at Texas. >> What? >> Yeah, he's an old alignment. Came out. with his big dog A dog was with him. That was great. >> God, that's the best. >> like at the end he was like. So who's thinking about moving in here? I was like. me and he's like where are the women? It's just just you and that black guy? >> [laughter]. >> Worst nightmare. He had a. like yeah, Blue Lives Matter [ __ ] on his.

truck. >> [laughter]. >> It's just an interracial gay couple. being like. This is a fabulous neighborhood. >> [laughter]. >> He could be a problem. He was. That was the discussion in the car. That's the type of guy that. >> Yeah. >> could eventually mean it I might have to. have a shoot out with him and his dog. >> [laughter]. >> Eventually. >> What do you think he was going to say? >> I think we'll be boys, but. >> or enemies? >> that guy is down to [ __ ] pull out the. blicky. >> What? >> I think he'll pull it out in 1 second. >> Woah, over what though? >> Anything. Probably noise.

>> Yeah, LeMaire you have to stead tread. lightly around there. >> He was shirtless. Longhorns Longhorns of Iser. He's a legend. >> [laughter]. >> He could be a real issue. >> That's I mean that's crazy. Also, what. do you think he was tackle or guard? Cuz. you guys could form the O line. Who are. the other neighbors? >> True. Lemeezy Lemeezy's D tackle, though. >> Yeah. >> He doesn't have the O line build. >> Damn. >> have the length, but you do have a good. nose guard.

Nate's grown into an offensive guard. >> [laughter]. >> Nate went from DB to O line. >> Nate's fighting at a higher weight class. right now. >> Uh. >> Damn. That's crazy. >> Yeah, he's He seems like the man. >> Yeah. >> The I don't want to besmirch Yeah, whatever. The lady the real estate lady. was like, I think he like. drinks. And I was like, me, too. >> [laughter]. >> I was like, I think this guy's going to. be my [ __ ] boy.

He's older He's an older gentleman. He. blocked for Earl Campbell. >> What? >> At Texas, which is. awesome. Yeah. >> What's the fan situation? >> to give away is This is hardly a fence. >> Yeah, so this won't be double O. >> house is my house is that I would buy. it'd be like just glass. So that guy's going to watch me and. Lemair naked. >> Just [laughter] at different levels. >> Two different fat naked guys. >> [laughter]. >> Maybe you guys will catch you I'm sure. he's prancing around as well. >> I think, yeah.

>> Damn. >> I think we might have the most vicious. three-way of all time. >> [laughter]. >> That would end the world. If me and Lemair and that old guy had. sex. >> It's like the Hadron Collider. It would. It would create the god particle. >> [laughter]. >> I mean, that's of all the. >> a triple heart attack. >> [laughter]. >> Could be a simultaneous. Be like when they find those like rat. >> [laughter]. >> like rat nests or those called when they. all get stuck a rat Yeah.

All of us all stuck. stuck together and dead. [laughter]. All right. >> Goddamn. This episode is brought to you by. PrizePicks. The regular season's done. and the NBA playoffs are here. Time to. get in on the action with PrizePicks, a. preferred partner of the NBA. >> NBA. >> N space B space A. Download the PrizePicks app today and. use code "drench" to get $50 in lineups. after you play your first $5 lineup. And. during the playoff during the playoffs,

make a $5 lineup with a live NBA pick. for a shot at the do-it-live sweepstakes. trip to the NBA finals. >> tough one, man. >> Oh, it makes sense. >> More info can be found on the PrizePicks. promos board. PrizePicks, a preferred. partner of the NBA. What What are the. odds, though? >> Just an absolute beast. >> Perfect neighbor. >> O-line neighbor. >> Yeah. >> Humble, too. >> Humble man. >> So, what I always liked about the. O-line, I was so humble in the O-line. >> to be humble, dude. >> Protecting the quarterback, I'd be like, with my [ __ ] life. I'd die for you,

dude. Yeah, dude. This is No one ever. celebrates you guys. I'm like, dude, if. you keep talking like this, I'm going to. come. I was only like 10. [laughter]. I was only 10, but I was already like, this feels. >> so good. >> good, dude. >> Be like, dude, nobody even notices. You're the silent hero. I was like, yeah, I guess you're kind of right, coach. >> Yeah, I've always been kind of the quiet. hero. >> Although, dude. makes sense, though. You have like a. 37-year-old dad be like, "Nobody. appreciates you guys." And you're like. That must be the most fulfilling thing. You're working your ass off, no one even. notices.

>> Yeah. >> [ __ ]. >> It's nice. >> Football coaching is really must be so. [ __ ] sweet. >> I only got to do it one year, but it was. awesome. >> Yeah. >> Shh. Got to call. >> all plays. It's really fun. >> Oh, you're a coordinator? >> I was up in the booth, dude. >> Shh. What were you What was your style? >> We was It was early. We were running the. read option. We were It was We were a. little ahead of our time. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> High school or is that. >> Uh no, eighth grade. >> Read option eighth grade. >> yeah. We had some talented ball players.

>> Shh. We had some guys out there. Yeah. >> Shout out Dill Pickle. >> [laughter]. >> Shout out Danny J. Shout out Darb. What up? The Koogs, what. up? The Koogs. Shout out Jay, what up, boys? >> I'm still sweating. I ran the option. when I played beach football like 5. months ago and it was beautiful. Faked. it, they bought it, I ran, I fumbled. I'm still thinking about that fumble. Could have changed the whole game. >> Where'd you fumble? >> We were we were in the red zone. I were I was like yeah, I got us into. the red zone, fumbled.

And I was just like. I was after I was shoving somebody into. a girl, which also regret. >> Reminds me [laughter] of that video game. fumble. Oh. >> here. >> Damn. >> [laughter]. >> Now it's real. >> Yeah. Ooh. That's just tough fumble. Tough fumble. I got good bird news. >> What you got? >> Uh I have seen some wrens kicking. around. They're out in the They're out. behind there having fun. But a hawk two.

hawks have moved in. Not into the Bud Light box, but just. right here. They're hawking. It's two. hawks. It's very exciting. >> Yo. >> Some red-shouldered hawks. >> Yeah, I was just about to ask for the. ID. >> Yeah, red-shouldered hawks. >> [ __ ] dude. >> I don't know if they come to Texas, but. yeah. >> Red-shouldered How'd you ID? You went. off. >> Uh yeah, but it was pinged in like. Pennsylvania. >> Got you. >> Yeah. Sent a picture to a friend and they AI'd. it. >> Your phone Your phone can do it. >> I could do Yeah, I could have done it, but they did it for me. Just sent them a. picture of the hawk. I said, "Check this.

[ __ ] out.". >> satisfying, honestly. >> It's again, that's most of my day. I was. just standing in the pool. >> [laughter]. >> Just looking at a hawk, going. I got to send this to my boys, dude. >> Getting the ID on the hawks now is. especially. >> that owl you had was sick. >> Bro, burrowing owls. Endangered species. I had the privilege of being I was. walking around, they were everywhere. And dude, they. I was I mean, this was a huge moment for. me. Uh so. >> daytime, dude? >> The burrowing owls are all daytime. >> stuff. >> I know. >> I think that's good luck. >> I mean, dude, I I must be Well, I could.

use it right now. I'm down right now, but I could use it. >> [laughter]. >> I'm down in the dumps. >> Uh it's all right. Just run the program. Just Just run the Irish morning program. [laughter]. >> Yeah, I'm so down on my luck. Things are. so terrible. >> [laughter]. >> No, I'm chilling, but the owls were. No, I'm perfectly fine, but the owls. [laughter]. The owls were really nice, man. They. were really They were pumping me up. >> It's funny that every episode the wheels. are just flat. Emotionally, for the last. 10 years, we've both just been like,

"No, I'm actually doing good.". >> [laughter]. >> Things are good right now. It's been [ __ ] nuts for a bit. >> [laughter]. >> Totally fine, fully in control, everything's cool. >> Everything's completely fine. >> My life's not a giant house of cards. that could collapse any second. >> [laughter]. >> Yep. >> But yeah, [gasps] the Do the owls I got. to cuz I was there Britney goes, "You. know. >> birds That's when birds come into play. Big time, dude. You see some birds, you. go, "Shit's going to be all right.". >> there it was birds during the day, night.

time my dad has a. a fish light. So, out near the dock, he's on like the bay in Florida, out. near the dock this green light. illuminates and you just throw a chicken. into the water. Bro, I'm talking No, I. showed these guys. maybe 25 catfish. >> Damn. >> Swarm and they pop use They like will. come up to their like whiskers breach. and then they gobble it up and fly down. It's Dude, I was living by burrow owls. and then obviously lizards are carrying. carrying me through the day. >> Lizards are great. >> And then it was the catfish at night. time and it was just So, it was so nice.

I also I did I remembered the the owls, by the way. Britney tried to say, "I. think they can turn their head 360°." I. was like, "I think it's 270." Looked it. up. It's 2 [ __ ] 70, bro. >> Holy [ __ ]. >> 270. >> I mean. >> That felt good. >> Clocking your [ __ ] with a 270. >> [laughter]. >> I mean. Ooh, you can tell me about owls? >> Yeah, it was. >> Yeah, it was And then I was like, "Well, they could do They technically. >> Degrees the head Degrees is incredible. O'Connor saw the hawk when he came over. yesterday and was like, "Look at its. head. It's moving at about 280." Like,

[laughter]. I'm not kidding. Like, the first thing. he said was the degrees of the head. turn. >> That's the best thing about becoming an. old man. You get to just start just. being like, "That's a silver birch over. there. It's pretty nice." My My dad's. >> and trees is crazy. >> I'm I'm getting pretty nasty at the. trees. Trees and native flowers I'm. pretty I'm getting pretty good at. I'm. It's killing me. I want to put some. [ __ ] [ __ ] out here. front so bad. It's blank. >> What? >> You have a whole blank. >> Oh, yeah, that. Yeah.

>> It's Every Every week I'm like, I'm. going to go to Depot and just load up. >> Yeah. >> Just plant like nine different things. >> When I moved here, they they did have. landscaping out front. I don't know what happened. >> Must not be sprinkled. This should just. become old man Home Depot talk. They. probably don't got a sprinkler out there. if I had to guess. >> There is a sprinkler. >> Is there a sprinkler system? >> Yeah, it's it's nice. >> I'm going to dig that up and see where. the lines are. >> Yeah, we're [laughter] going to have to. check the lines out. >> [gasps]. >> Yeah, dude, you know, Florida was sick. though, man. I I was just paddle. boarding on the bay. It's like my It was. the best. >> That's awesome. >> Paddle I Although I got on the paddle.

board, I left it outside in the sun like. a [ __ ] So, I went to use it, it was. hot. So, when I went I like went too far. and I was like, "I'll be fine." I was. like splashing water to cool down, but. it was hot on my feet the entire time. Kind of burnt my feet on it. But, it was nice. I got lost, too. I got. lost a little I got lost enough to where. I like had a really try to find the. house. >> While paddle boarding? >> Yeah, when I was in canals, so it's all. like you go in twists and turns and you. I was like, "I'm going to go all the way. out to the bay." And then I was like, "That's kind of far." And then I just. like turned around, came down. I was. like, "Dude, I for real, I'm lost.".

>> Yeah. >> So, I saw one tiki hut and I was like, "That's my landmark." When I came back, there was nine tiki huts. >> Yeah, everyone has a tiki hut. >> [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> [ __ ]. So, it was cool. I got to I got to feel. the feeling of land ho. >> What are you guys whispering? >> Ooh. >> spot switched. >> You got a free day? >> Got a free day. >> Damn. >> You think they You think the Spurs have. a chance? >> Yeah. I think tonight they have a. a real chance. >> That would I would I actually I want to. I'm pulling for them, man. >> Trying to get the Trying to get some.

tickets to the Spurs game tonight. >> The arena is probably the loudest I've. ever heard at a basketball game when I. went to see Sixers versus Spurs. They were Those Those The lads go crazy. Yeah. >> The lads are going wild. >> into the lads a lot lately. >> Have you really? >> Yeah, in out in public. And they've all. been very like, "Yo, the lads are with. you. The lads [ __ ] with you.". >> Dude, the lads yeah. >> The lads might be our strongest demo. >> I I think they're for real. Very up. there. >> They [ __ ] with the Secret Podcast. >> They do.

>> [laughter]. >> Did you really? >> You saw a lad in the movie theater? What happened? Were you just. >> playing the claw machine waiting for my. movie and he went, "Gardini.". And then I [laughter] went, "What's up, man?" And he went, "Oh, [ __ ] That's. actually you?" And I was like, >> [laughter]. >> How are you? >> I went and saw outside. >> You see the foos? >> Yeah. He was a nice guy. >> The lads and the foos. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, that's nice. I I The lads are. start They do tell you. They always tell. you to swear allegiance. They go, "Yo, we [ __ ] with your podcast.".

Dude, you have no idea how much that. pleases me. It's It's a It's a It's a um. It's a finicky demo, man. Not every. everyone thinks they can capture the. heart of the lad the hearts of the lads, but it's They're complex creatures. >> They are. >> Everyone thinks, "Oh, I'm going to get. the lads." Every politician is like, "The Latino vote." It's like, "Bro, talk. to me.". >> Yeah. >> We'll talk about the Latino. >> tell you. We'll tell you how it's done. >> Yeah, we'll tell you how it's done. >> You think Kiltonia has the lads, too? >> Yeah. >> Kiltonia [laughter]. has the lads. We're sure. The lads like wild [ __ ].

>> [laughter]. >> Yeah, they're the [ __ ] Aztecs and. Mayans, dude. >> True. >> They're warriors. >> Exactly right. >> Also, I'm fluffing the lads. They're. love hearing that [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> No, the lad They are a very like. uh I mean, I the memes are the best when. like the the. red pill blue pill for the lad has. become like a like an extreme mega Trump. conservative or just like a black guy. Red pill blue pill. They basically it's like you become like. David Duke or. >> [laughter].

>> Yeah, I'll I'll be excited if we go to. San Antonio tonight. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, that'll be exciting stuff. >> That'd be nice. You got to watch. >> though? I'm going to be excited to see. Jared McCain. >> I'm going to go, that's my man. >> [laughter]. >> You also got to be careful you don't get. grabbed and hugged on like that Mexican. president. Did you see when the lady got. hugged? Did you see when the lady got. hugged on? The lads might get it. >> The lads going to grope me. >> [laughter]. >> If you get a borracho? >> If Nate's with me, Nate's getting.

>> touched. >> to jump in front of it, dude. If a lad. comes to grope him like the Mexican. president. >> I'll take the grope. >> [laughter]. >> Guys, I'll take the grope. >> What would you throw at him? >> Throw that ass at him? >> [laughter]. >> I can only go so far with it. I can't [laughter] I can't say I. >> The allegations are bad, dude. >> Yeah, that slim good that slim goody. sunk you, dude. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Slim goody got you.

>> I didn't know Bernie was a massive fan. of Cheryl Hines. Or or Cheryl Underwood, my bad. I'm. thinking of [ __ ] my [ __ ] me, but yeah. >> You got Bobby Kennedy on the mind. >> You got Bobby Kennedy on the mind. >> After he grabbed those snakes and they. Did you see that video? >> Again? He He already grabbed snakes for. >> grabbing snakes. >> Yeah, it's pretty wild. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. The other guys are grabbing snakes, yeah. >> I It's He did another one cuz he did one. a while back. Also, hey, that's how you that's how you. get the lad vote. Grab a copperhead from behind. Lad's. going to go, this fool crazy.

>> [laughter]. >> You got to your fool crazy meter has to. stay high. >> Yeah. >> I got to keep my fool crazy meter high. at all times. Can't let that [ __ ] dip, you're a lame. >> [laughter]. >> Is fool crazy? >> And lame, man. You got to stay. >> Who do you think the craziest fool is in. in our group? >> [laughter]. >> I think Tommy might be the. Tommy or O'Connor. O'Connor might be the. craziest ass uh. He's loco.

O'Connor [laughter] man is loco. >> I mean him claiming 280 on a hawk some. crazy fool [ __ ]. >> Hawks don't have First of all, hawks. don't out turn owls. That's crazy. I. wish I was. >> it did have it did have pretty. impressive movement. >> Did it really? We got to look that up. >> Yeah, we'll see head movement on a. red-shouldered hawk. >> [laughter]. >> We're going to need that. >> 270 on an owl. And I also was like. >> Got the team on it, all three. >> Oh [ __ ]. >> All [laughter] three struggling. Two of them already went to Instagram. >> [laughter]. >> Oh [ __ ]. 180? I like that.

>> 180 is not bad. I I was going to say. it's no 270. There's no way. Huh? >> Wow. What kind of hawk? Just a red-shouldered. >> So they can get at What's So they get. 180, but they how If they don't move, you said they can get the 270? >> Yeah, like if they're standing still and. they're. That's You got some good. >> You got some good [laughter]. >> You might be a little owl, dude. >> like 120, dude. That was crazy. >> nice movement. >> Oh dude, [laughter]. don't do that again.

I did The first thing I did when I was. claiming 270 was to go outside and go. and just see how much [laughter] I had. Ours is pitiful. >> Lemaire, you might be possessed. That head movement You're like the. exorcist. >> I hit I hit an inappropriate We went to. the zoo. in Naples. Like I was outside of Naples. We took my family to the zoo. >> [laughter]. >> and there was a tiger cage and no one. could see the tiger. My kids were like, "I can't see it. Where is it?" I'm like, "You know a trick for seeing tigers?". And they're like, "What is it?" I I'll.

turn for the camera. I went. >> Oh. >> [laughter]. >> Jesus Christ. >> [laughter]. >> We are we are old men. It's just an old dad racist at the zoo. [laughter]. >> Nobody laughed. Just my wife huffed and. walked away. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> I was like, that was good. That was good. >> good one. >> That was a good one. I was like, I. haven't. >> I haven't seen that. I haven't seen that. one in [ __ ] [laughter] 40 years. That's a good one.

>> But you know, [clears throat] you never. get the opportunity to bust that out. >> get to do it. >> My kids were like, "Dad, how do you do. it?" I hit them with it. They're like, "What?" I was like, I was like, "Just. keep going.". >> that. They're breaking that out. [laughter]. They're going to break that out in. school. Obviously, another kid's going to talk. about tigers in. >> [laughter]. >> At their age, tigers is like top five. conversation pieces. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, that was a fun one. Hopefully, I turned far enough from the. camera. [laughter]. I think. I think we can. [ __ ] it. We can just blur we can black. box.

>> We've already did. The white boys. already went [laughter] dumb, dude. Pandora's box is already open. >> Pendulum the pendulum. >> I mean, this one is chill. >> The pendulum is. Pendulum might be 270. Pendulum might be. 270. >> [laughter]. >> It was funny cuz I didn't realize I've. been off the internet, so I didn't. realize how massive the roast was. Until. this morning, I saw a supercut of every. single person who I'm like, "Oh, this. went like around the world. This went. Everyone was talking about the goddamn.

roast.". >> Dr. Umar called me a [ __ ]. Neanderthal. >> A what? >> Dr. Umar called me a Neanderthal. >> Tell him you want to see the Fred list. Frederick Douglass Marcus Garvey Academy. open, and then you'll talk. Ask him about the school. >> Yo, you going to get Dr. Umar? >> Ask him about the school. I tried to get. him on. He charges like [ __ ] 10,000. bucks to come on. We should pay it. >> It would be funny to yeah. He's really. funny. I like him. >> To be honest, I like Dr. Umar. >> Yeah, so do I. >> I'm not just saying that. I enjoy. watching him. I think he's hilarious. >> Yeah. >> His When he does the things when people.

can call in and send things in is. >> Yes. When he reads his live chat and he. blocks people. >> It's the best. >> It's awesome. >> [laughter]. >> He has to know it's funny because he. reads. what they say. >> He knows it. I he he's got to know. I. just I want to see the school open. >> I think it's funny getting called a. Neanderthal. >> It's hilarious. >> I was I was all right with it. >> Yeah. [ __ ] kind of say. >> know if he's trying to be funny if he's. actually upset. I I apologize to Dr. Umar. >> I I I I think he's smart. I think he's a. smart guy. I think he knows what he. knows what play is. Probably had a.

>> this out but I was thinking about. purchasing his school. >> [laughter]. >> And naming it the Robert E. Lee School. for. whites only. >> [laughter]. >> I'm going to name it Neanderthal Robert. E. Lee. >> [laughter]. >> Ronald Reagan Richard Nixon Academy. >> What about school for the Aztec School. for the lads? >> Aztec School for the lads would go. crazy. >> That'd be tight. >> I think making it hold on the Robert E.

Lee Ronald Reagan Richard Nixon School. for Higher Learning and then and then. actually dumping a ton of money in it. and making it really successful and. actually helping the community. >> [laughter]. >> Just as a bit, dude. >> That would be a good bit. >> It's a good bit. >> I want to I just want to see it open, man. I'm not trying to break the guy's. balls. I just I'm I want to I've been. hearing about the school for a while. My. god, that's. >> Yeah, what happened with the school? >> It just it's [laughter] never open. It's. been like [ __ ] 10 years. >> to open the school. >> He's got to open the school. I mean. especially before he starts coming at. you know.

>> Neanderthals. >> He shouldn't even watch the roast. Get. the school going, bro. The hell are you. doing? Get the [ __ ] school going. That is it is a I don't know. It's a. funny thing. It's a funny thing to just have the. school going and be like damn they wiped. out my accounts again. >> [laughter]. >> You know that happened, right? >> No, what? >> Wiped out his [ __ ] accounts. Dude, he. got hacked. >> Oh, [ __ ]. >> [ __ ] all the money ready to get the. school going and they wiped out his damn. accounts. >> Somebody hacked him and stole his money. [laughter] and it wasn't him? He didn't spend it. Somebody else did? Son of a [ __ ] that keeps happening. [ __ ].

>> it [ __ ] I was like, "No.". I immediately donated it. >> I don't want I don't want any any smoke. with him anymore. >> [laughter]. >> I for real genuinely enjoy him. I think he's fun. His [ __ ] his his just like vigilance on. the snow bunnies is my favorite. It's my. favorite. Someone needs to stay [ __ ]. focused, man. >> Oh, yeah, he would he's sorry, dude. >> [laughter]. >> Also. right back at you. >> True. >> You know. >> You guys are both Dr. Umar should be Dr.

Umar should like me, dude. >> [laughter]. >> He should hate you guys. What the [ __ ]. >> True, true. I wasn't even thinking of my. own sins. Damn. >> [snorts]. >> Damn. >> [laughter]. >> I should get him on the at the link, let. him just give a talk. >> Please. Please. >> No comedy, just give a nice. 5-minute speech on kill whitey. [laughter]. And get off stage. >> I mean, the boo would be thunderous. >> would be awesome. >> [laughter].

>> He would love that boo. 80,000 Hawkeyes. booing him. >> [laughter]. >> He might ascend, dude. He might start. floating. >> Might evolve. >> He would evolve. >> He would Pokémon out. [laughter]. >> He might just split in half. There could. be two Dr. Umar sitting. [laughter] He. could start multiplying, dude. 80,000 white boos. >> [groaning]. [laughter]. >> That's how That's how Al Sharpton lost. all that weight.

>> He just split. [laughter]. >> [laughter]. >> He would [ __ ] kill at the link, dude. >> So far you have sliders, Dr. [laughter]. Umar. >> I forgot about the sliders, dude. I want to get the sliders. >> Sliders in the background while Umar. just it his thing. It'll be so nice. He's a prince of Pan-Africanism. >> It's [laughter] awesome. He is the best dude. >> It is funny when someone's hating on.

you, it's like, "Dude, I love you.". >> I love him. >> I love you. There's nothing you can say. I [ __ ] love you. I've watched I. really have watched so much of his. stuff. >> Yeah. >> Him on the Breakfast Club. >> guys make fun of you, it's very funny. >> He's awesome. He's for real one of my. favorite Breakfast Club guests. >> Yeah, he's awesome. >> He's amazing. So, I. >> I've never I've never really seen him do. anything I didn't think was awesome. [laughter]. Every single time I see him, I go, "Oh, [ __ ] yeah.". >> [laughter]. >> I have the same thing for the honorable. uh whatchamacallit Mr. Farrakhan? I [ __ ].

it. Dude, I love it. >> Farrakhan rocks. >> Farrakhan. Sorry, I just I watch him and. I go, [laughter] "Oh god, I love this. guy." He's so funny. >> Yeah. >> I've talked about it before. Him on. Donahue in the '90s was maybe the best. TV thing I've ever seen appearance I've. ever seen anyone do. >> What, they just have him with like. Nazis? >> It's No, it's him and his No, it's just. him ripping and just talking and he has. all of his like Nation of Islam guys. standing there like bow ties standing. real militant. But he's they're just. '90s Well, they're just '90s housewives. being like, you know, he'll like lay out.

his grievances and they'll be like, "Go. back to Africa if you're so upset." And. it'll [laughter] be like, "No, that's. the [ __ ] I'm talking about." And. then they'll just. But it wasn't even like, "How dare you?". He's like, "That's exactly what I'm" And. he just keeps going on. And then he hits. this Jewish lady. I didn't know he had a. problem with the Jews until I watched. that clip and he she brought it up and I. just watched him go, "I have some stuff. for this." And he just [laughter]. [ __ ] goes in and like, "Damn.". >> That's one of his big grievances. >> Yeah, he's yeah, beefing. Beefing with. them. But yeah. He rules. I mean, dude, I you can't deny. talent when you see it.

When I see Farrakhan, I go, "That's a. talented guy. Sorry.". >> Yeah, I separate the art from the. artist. I got a talented [ __ ] guy. >> Yeah. >> I like what he does. Sorry. >> Honestly, it's kind of impressive more black guys. are not as racist. If we were allowed to just be extremely. racist, >> Yeah. We had our day in the sun. >> Black guys were just [laughter] allowed. to be racist. >> They do a pretty good job not doing it. >> It's. It's pretty It is pretty impressive, honestly. It's pretty impressive. >> thinking to myself I'd be bow tie,

glasses, >> [laughter]. >> [ __ ] immediately. It'd be so fun being like, "What do you. say, you pink pig bitch?". >> [laughter]. >> It'd be awesome. >> Yeah, that is pretty amazing to not uh. yeah, go. >> Yeah. Full force. >> It's pretty amazing. But I think too, I don't know, maybe. it's like, you know, you're kind of. like, you know what, let me like put. down the sword. If you've been nicked. with the sword a couple times, you go, "Yeah, maybe I won't wield the sword. myself." It's hard. >> Although I would just come back 10 times. harder.

>> [laughter]. >> Yeah, just It's so funny just knowing. you'd be pure bean pies right off the. bat. >> Yeah. That that People don't talk about. the black Muslim enough. I miss them. They're I have I haven't. seen a black. >> Muslim in Texas. There are so many in. Philly and they are. some of the They're they're they're rad. >> Yeah, they're rad. >> Black Muslims are [ __ ] rad. I used to. work with this black Muslim guy. He was. I worked with many black Muslims, I'm. not bragging, but. the one guy I worked with was for real.

one of my [ __ ] favorites. He put me. on to this television show. Might have. been the worst show. Do you ever see The. 100? >> No. Oh, I I. >> Dude, he hyped me on the show. I ended. up watching two seasons and was just. like. >> you watching it. >> It's He he was like "Bro, this show." He. was talking like this [ __ ] is going to. This is it. Like watch it." This Dude, the premise is sick. Then you watch it. and you're like, "This is the gayest. [laughter]. show I've ever seen.". It's one of those I've actually It's. seven It went seven seasons and I I do. at some point want to watch the finale.

of the seventh season just to see where. they went with it. It'd be kind of fun. >> July 17th at The Link. Please, please come to that. >> I I we just released a bunch of new. tickets, so. >> E. >> It's almost sold out, so hurry up. >> Guys, 6/5, that is June 5th, June 6th. I'll be at the Summit City Comedy Club, Fort Wayne, Indiana. But then I'll be in. Spokane Comedy Club, uh 8/13/2026, 8/14/2026, Spokane Comedy Club. And then there's a.

bunch more dates coming. They should be. on my website. They're not for some. reason. I'm going to dig into that and. update you guys. Go to mattmccusker.com. >> Anything good have you watched. >> Anything good? >> Uh yeah, I watched uh. Train Dreams. >> Oh, the Denis Johnson book? >> Yeah, I guess. >> Yeah, yeah. >> It's [ __ ] great. >> Yeah, in the beginning they didn't have. them throw the Chinese guy off the. cliff, did they? >> Yeah, they did. >> They did? >> Yeah. >> Okay, cuz I know they did that in the. beginning of the book. But did he help? >> He slightly helps. He grabs his legs.

And he's kind of saying like, "What do. you do? Like why are you guys doing this?" But. he's still kind of like grabs his legs. >> Got you. >> But then gets kicked off and then they. throw him. >> Okay. And did the Chinese guy die in the. in the movie? >> Yeah. >> Cuz he doesn't In the book he doesn't. He like. >> I haven't finished it yet. Maybe he. lives. >> What did they throw him? >> They throw him off a bridge. >> Yeah, I think he like in the book just. like catches a thing and just kind of. like clambers away. >> They don't show you They They definitely. don't show him surviving the first half. >> Yeah, it was What was funny in the book. cuz he.

just is just walking home and he's like, "What are they throwing a Chinese guy. off a cliff?" And they're like, "Yeah, I'll help." And he just doesn't even. then he doesn't. He's like, "That was. kind of [ __ ] up. I shouldn't have done. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, yeah. >> I don't know why I was so eager to help. that guy. It's pretty sick. How far How far into. it are you? >> Uh 2/3. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, it gets kind of freaky there. towards the end. >> It gets So far it's pretty sad. >> It's the saddest [ __ ] I. >> think it was going to be that sad. >> No, I had it recommended. I'm like, "Oh, cool, you know, like I like the time. period." And then like right away I was. like, "Oh, fuck.". >> Yeah, it's pretty devastating. >> They'll find her. >> Yeah.

Not in the woods. Uh nothing good. happens in the woods. >> Yeah. No, that that That was pretty. good. The I You know what was surprising. I re-watched recently and I was I. actually wasn't a fan of Wolf of Wall. Street. I thought I loved that movie and I. re-watched it and I'm like. the whole [ __ ] first 45 minutes is. like then I got [ __ ] Then I got [ __ ]. again. Did they tell you how much drugs. we did? Oh, yeah. And I was like dude. I was watching I'm like I used to love. this movie. I watched it as an as an.

elder man and I was like this [ __ ]. guys are punks. >> Yeah, they're punks. >> It was also like it was just it was just. I you know, I was watching it with a. with Britney so I'm kind of like all. right, he's blowing cocaine up her butt. with a straw. Sure she's going to not. like What is this? I'm like. It's like let it go. It's a good movie. and then it was just 40 straight minutes. to be like and then she sucked my. [ __ ] dick and I was like Jesus. Christ. >> a comedy. >> Yeah. >> So you watch it as this guy's a [ __ ]. [ __ ]. >> Yeah, true. I'll tell you what then we watched a. legend Legend of Bagger Vance. >> Jesus, it's been it's been.

>> It was awesome. >> Yeah. >> And she's like this is much better and I. was like dude, I'm not going to lie this. is much better. Not even going to hate. This is I mean I. thought The Wolf of Wall Street was like. one of the best. If you had asked me. before that I'm like gosh, it's one of. my favorite movies. >> Yeah. >> Re-watched it I was like. >> I think it was the setting you were in. >> Yeah. >> I think that'll affect it. >> For sure. >> With the babe just going this movie's. kind of [ __ ] me. >> Yeah. >> It's kind of this movie's going to. affect my night cuz now my wife's going. to be like is that what you want to do? >> [laughter]. >> No, of course not.

I would hate that. Just getting a ton of. [ __ ] and doing coke with my friends and. being extremely rich so it'd suck. No, I like this. >> [laughter]. >> When he was talking about like [ __ ]. his cousin and like what they would do. with the [ __ ] kid he's like I throw. it out in the woods. I was just like in. the bed being like. just looking over [laughter] at her. being like kids better at this. >> They just do crack. All right. >> Could have been setting setting you're. right. Could have just been setting. setting. But I I generally was like you. know what this is this is kind of.

getting old man. What the [ __ ]. >> Bagger Vance was just next level. >> Bagger Vance is. Moses. >> Moses. Dude, for real was. I never saw. Bagger Vance. It was amazing. I thought. the movie was about Will Smith crushing. it at golf. >> No. >> The whole time. I thought Will Smith. just crushed it in golf. And not the. case. >> No. >> But was he just a. caddy a secret. >> caddy. >> secret caddy. >> super spiritual caddy. >> Yeah. >> It's all about the field. It was kind of sick though. Bagger. Vance, two thumbs up. Wolf of Wall. Street, dude.

>> No. >> Didn't like it. It was It was just I was. like, "No, you're right. This is. >> to have to [clears throat] give it a. rewatch. >> It's too much. Too much and it's too. much of that like, "I know what you're. thinking. Me and my boys are crazy.". That was That was big during uh. the What is it called? Uh not Fight. Club. [ __ ]. Entourage Yeah, Entourage was big in and. what was the uh Snatch? That was that big like. "This is the craziest thing you'll ever. see.". >> Yeah. >> And it'd be like. >> Scorsese does a lot though. >> Yeah. >> does it. >> Yeah, I mean He's a master, obviously.

I'm not going to. >> Yeah. >> you know, I just. It was It was. >> Goodfellas holds up though. >> Goodfellas is great. >> It's It's great every time. >> Yeah, Goodfellas is good. >> cuz I when I lived with Tommy, he would. watch it every night. >> That [snorts] actually makes me want to. watch it. >> He'd be drunk watching Goodfellas. I'm like, "God, this guy watches every. night." I I understand. >> Yeah. >> You're drunk. It's one of the best. movies. >> [laughter]. >> So good. >> Just toss it on. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, no, it was I I'm I'm getting old. I was watching I'm like, "This is. [ __ ] crass." This is very crass.

disturbing. >> It's crude. >> It was crude. >> It's crude. >> It was very crude. >> There's no There's no two ways about it, Matt. >> Yeah, then he had Yeah, you know what? You're totally right. It was just him. >> of Wall Street. >> him leaving his wife and [ __ ]. [laughter] [ __ ] this chick and I'm. like, "That's not good stuff, right. there.". >> Come on. >> All right, turn this [laughter] crap. off. >> I don't even daydream about stuff like. that. That's crazy. >> Put on Bagger Vance. >> Yeah. >> I might start watching Bagger Vance. every. >> Just the notebook. No, [laughter] that's good. So, your husband dies, yeah. That's what.

you do. >> [laughter]. >> So, I should let's run Chocolat back. But, yeah, I was I was I was movie'd. out, dude. I was I was just crushing. movies every night. Million Dollar Baby, that was a sad one. >> I don't think I've ever seen that. >> MDB is sad, bro. >> Yeah. >> And it's funny cuz I knew Are you Are. you familiar like kind of with the plot. line? >> Yeah. >> So, I kind of knew what was coming. Bernie had no clue. So, she's like, you know, like, "Oh, she's going to take over and be the. champ." And I was just like, "Kind of. We'll see.".

>> Well, that's what happened to me. watching [ __ ] Train Dreams. >> [laughter]. >> I was like, "Man, this guy's life is. awesome.". I was like, "I'm going to bed." Like, "What the [ __ ] was that?". >> [laughter]. >> It's sad as hell. That could have been. why I woke up with the. with the Irish good morning. >> Uh that'll do it. >> Yeah. I I. >> [laughter]. >> The Irish good morning is just like, "Look at you, you piece of [ __ ] Your. life's in shambles.". >> Dude, my mom hit me up the other day. with just. the worst news about people I don't even.

know. And I was like, "Thanks.". >> That's Yeah. >> day. >> Horrible. >> That's absolutely horrible. She's like, >> "I guess this is a little grim.". >> I'm like, "Yeah, this is I don't need. this right now.". >> Yeah. >> I'll be on a walk. >> know. I don't know who you. >> a walk and my mom will call and just be. like, "Their kid's not doing good.". >> [laughter]. >> I'm like, "God, who? Who are these. people?". >> It's a a girl I used to work with. >> [laughter]. >> Like, in the [ __ ] '90s? Do they live around us? >> It's like they're in Kentucky now. >> [laughter]. >> So, you're just calling to tell me about. a terrible tragedy.

in Kentucky right now. >> [laughter]. >> I'm like, "All right, Mom, I'm going to. go." "Oh, okay. All right. Have we. talked for too long?". >> Yeah. Oh my god. >> [laughter]. >> I mean, they got to offload that cuz. that does get crazy getting older and. older to when like more I mean, I know. like. I don't know. How many people you know. your age range that died? It's been like. not a ton. Not too many. But yeah, it's uh they get to the age. where it's like people start dropping.

And all you can do is party at the. beach. Party hard. Stay tuned to the Fox News. Parrot the [ __ ] Yeah, dude, we have to. bomb Iran. I mean, bro. >> I think we bombed them again yesterday. >> Uh yeah. >> I think so. Got to be done. >> Oh, here we go. >> [snorts]. >> Another one? >> There's a Trump fart video? >> [laughter]. >> There's another fart video has dropped. >> Send me the link. Send me the link, dude. I'll try to verify this cuz yeah.

>> His farts are crazy. >> There was a lot of farts on both sides. of the aisle for a while. The fart vids. are huge. Sorry, I just farted myself. >> [laughter]. >> I mean, doesn't he like crush Mickey D's. and [ __ ]. >> I saw he just got out of the hospital or. something. He did a checkup or whatever. >> all amazing. >> Yeah, I'm sure everything was great. >> Everything was [ __ ] amazing, dude. Sharp as hell. >> Best farts in. >> He's also 80 and crushing McDonald's. >> [laughter]. >> The farts must be.

[ __ ] chaos, dude. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, there's got When you're 80, there's got to be parts of you that are. kind of dead already. >> Everything. >> You're like a Pirates of the Caribbean. guy. Is it real? Is it real? We got to get I. got to get. >> Hey. Dude, I have it right here. You want. >> Damn, it's like an old like it's an old. uh. >> Yeah. >> Nixon mic. >> I'd like to see it. >> It'd be crazy if that was if that was. his like secret Nixon recordings or just.

like. Just worded. [laughter]. Just nonstop farts. >> god, dude. This is. >> see. >> Dude, there's. >> [laughter]. >> It's so fake. >> I mean, sitting behind the column is. respectable if true.

It's. >> [gasps]. >> So what? Here's the thing. >> Yeah, dude. The people in front not. dying laughing. >> [laughter]. >> It can't be real. >> Uh they're trained they're trained. they're trained, dude. >> Knowing that you can't. >> you can't be trained for that. >> [laughter]. >> Driven that far. No one on earth can survive that. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, the the fart the political like. farts mirrors are crazy.

Cuz it's like you have no way of proving. if it's real or not. >> Yeah. Those Yeah, and that was recorded from a. [ __ ] distance. >> Yeah, that's what. >> No, [laughter] you have to. There's no way. If that's real, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. >> He's outside, it looked like. >> Yeah, but he was behind the column. And. I'm saying the acoustics of the old. building would. >> dude. >> Yeah, that's a that's a living you. That's a living you Smell that fart, dude. That's a living you. >> You want to sniff that fart, dude. Oh, he pooped his.

He pooped his pants. [laughter]. Ew. >> Smells like a 39 count felon. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, there was a there was a major AOC. was getting getting levied of farts. AOC. apparently had farts. Trump had farts. Biden apparently [ __ ] himself. There was a lot of [ __ ] himself and. farts going around like COVID in the. COVID era. >> Yeah, the shoe's on the other foot now, and the Republicans don't like it much.

>> True. True. >> See, it's kind of mean when you fake. audio. >> [laughter]. >> If it's real, then that's incredible. >> Weedy verified. I mean, how do you I. you'd have to call the journalist and. they'd have to be like, "Yeah, I was. there. He [ __ ] farted. It was crazy.". It's crazy. >> It could be a whistleblower. One of the. >> [laughter]. >> One of the Secret Service could be like, "Dude, that was real.". He [ __ ] uncorked one as soon as he. got out of the car. >> [laughter].

>> I mean, what's the point of being the. president if you have to hold in your. farts? You know what I'm saying? You're You're. the boss. And you got to just hold in your No, you. move behind a pillar. gentlemanly. You probably learned that in [ __ ]. etiquette school. You find Find a giant. stucco pillar and you just rip. >> Yeah. >> I I was back on the cheese for the. vacation. I was That was nothing. >> You were hitting cheese? >> Woo, bro. I was I was crushing cheese. all vacay. >> These farts are crazy. >> Dude, it was Yeah, fully sun-powered.

cheese. And then we're watching Bagger. Vance and just. >> [laughter]. >> That was real. I just was my dad. That was in my dad's house just doing. exactly what he does is watching movies. with a lady and farting. And then feeding catfish. Pretty much all I did. All It was kind. of nice. >> [ __ ] where it's at. >> Yeah, it was. I mean, I I can You can. tell I'm sun maxing right now, too. I'm. just completely I'm telling them I'm. getting melanated or dying trying this. summer.

>> It's all you can do. >> I got I just It's all I did. >> You're going to die trying. >> I [laughter] am. >> That's what happens to all of our our. ancestors, dude. >> I got a nice I mean, I have like a solid. >> That's it. >> crazy tan, dude. Bro, I just been. getting I just been raw dogging the sun. Just letting it just crush me. I'm kind of I Dude, I sleep good. I feel. better. I'm going to get my nose. >> I'll get skin cancer in 20 years, but. that's nothing, bro. You get that the MJ. lasers. >> Cut it right out. >> Yeah, my dad got My dad had skin cancer. a couple years ago. They just [ __ ]. cut that [ __ ] right out.

>> skin cancer every 10 minutes. >> Yeah, who cares? >> It's non-stop. >> It's nothing. >> maxed his whole life, [laughter] dude. It's [ __ ] wild. >> I know. He's one freckle at this. Well, he literally became a black guy. He's. [laughter] Dr. Umar. He all his freckles joined forces. [laughter]. >> He's going to open the [snorts] John. Elway Fred Touchdown Flutie Academy. [laughter]. >> The Touchdown Flutie John Elway Academy. Yeah, I should [clears throat] just.

Yeah, the Larry Bird. >> Larry [laughter] Bird. >> The Larry Bird Academy for higher. learning. >> I feel really bad if he opens it. tomorrow. I'm like, "Fuck." Although, I. feel good. >> Yeah, that'd be great. >> It'd be great. If our If our voices we. found power in our voices and. I'm going to open it up. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to. send my kids there. >> [laughter]. >> He would not be happy, dude. I wonder how he feels about that. >> [gasps]. >> Poorly. He would hate it. >> would hate that.

>> Yeah, he'd be [ __ ] furious. What are. you talking about? >> [snorts]. >> He would not like it. Although, I wonder. I wonder I wonder if you, you know, if. you commit to the bit. I wonder if. there's a part of his heart that goes. like, "I love all children." He has to. be like, "Shut up, dude. You're going to. ruin our whole [ __ ] career.". >> Yeah. >> Everything we built. You hate them. >> Yeah. >> Although, I mean I don't He probably. doesn't hate them. He probably. >> bad Stern doesn't get down like that. anymore. We could have Umar versus. What's that guy's name? Carver? Daniel. Carver?

The clansman that he used to bring on. Stern? Carver versus Dr. Umar would be a. battle. >> That would be a battle. You could. probably still set that up. And honestly, it's like, you know, it's a It's a Let them [ __ ] debate. >> We could do that from now. That could be. a little segment you and I do on the. show. Just do racist BattleBots. >> [laughter]. >> Every week he bringing in a different. type of racist guy. A racist fool would. be sick, dude. >> Ooh, they're out there, too, bro. >> They are out there. Yeah, getting a nice. little Send it like a racist fool.

against like a. >> [laughter]. >> like a UFT gender studies major. would be so nice. >> Yeah. >> So it'd be we'd have to throw the red. flag in like 3 seconds like [ __ ] you. like all right come on hold on. >> Get him out of here. >> Hold on my food my food's [ __ ] wild. >> My food's going [laughter] wild. Racist battle bots would be sick dude. >> Be awesome. >> You and me could just not be on camera. >> Yeah be amazing. >> Have two people sit right here. >> [laughter]. >> Just let them [ __ ] be racist to each. other.

>> We can mystery science theater you just. see our heads right in the camera. >> [laughter]. >> And be like I'd like to hear you. elaborate on that actually. He was just. keep going floor floor's yours. >> [laughter]. >> Now's the period of the question and. response so we'll step in if we need to. moderate. Yeah having having just it'd be nice. It'd be nice it'd be nice dude just. having just like. like almost you know the dudes that call. in sports radio. Just letting guys go. dude be like yo what do you think about. >> Have people call in? >> Yeah or just come in having them come in. and be like yo the floor's yours. You're a steelworker.

from Montana battling whoever you know. this guy some weird guy who believes in. aliens [ __ ] go rip. It would be like the scrapyard but for. debate. >> Yeah. >> Where it's just I mean I'm I'm all. scrapyard right now. >> Course. >> I'm all. >> Street Beefs shout out Street Beefs. >> Street Beefs is Street Beefs Scrapyard. the same thing or is it similar? >> I think so. >> Okay. Well they've been getting I've been. seeing a lot of um. >> Look it up. >> Yeah we need we need we need some intel.

on that please. We I've been seeing a lot of like. 55-year-olds versus 21-year-olds and. it's God it's a really good match up. >> Old boy what's his name? >> What's the guy. >> Something like that. >> What's the guy fighting for his fallen. friend? Barn Dog. >> Barn Dog's nice. >> Barn Dog's real nice. >> Gas Station White shout out Gas Station. White. >> White. Yeah Barn Dog the speeches are the best. >> Yeah. >> So I'm my friend killed himself and. fighting for him. It's pretty and you really root for him.

>> Yeah, he sent me that guy. >> Yeah, root for him. How did you like the. guy who goes, "This is just a test?". >> That was trouble. >> [laughter]. >> Dog said is he found his friend hanging. and he had to cut him down. >> Yeah, that's tough. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Thanks. Thanks for the man. >> Is he that involved? >> [laughter]. >> Plus that in the mix. >> Although you can see it is fighting. though, man. He's he like. I mean being a 55-year-old. >> Scrapyard is like the Pacific Northwest.

Street Beefs contingent. >> Mhm. >> Okay. >> They're all under the Street Beefs. umbrella. >> Yeah. >> But it's not Satan's Backyard. It's a. different. >> ever fantasize about throwing your hat. in the ring in a scrapyard? >> Yeah. >> Uh. >> I'd be real selective. >> Yeah, I think about it. I think about. it. I'd have to be very selective about. the fight. But it's I every time I watch it, there's a part of me being like, "Bro, I. want to get in the [ __ ] plywood.". >> Dude. >> You want to fight Death Sentence. >> Who's Death Sentence? >> You got to fight Death Sentence. >> Yeah, Matt Matt versus Death Sentence.

>> Who's Death Sentence? >> Uh. He's a spindly fellow. >> Yeah. >> Is he a knockout artist? Is he a. jiu-jitsu guy? What's his. >> I feel like he kind of loses a lot. >> Yeah, yeah. >> He almost exclusively is an anime black. guy who kind of. >> Oh, I saw him. I saw him, yeah. >> Yeah. >> He trains under the tutelage of. Demetrious Mighty Mouse Johnson. >> That's who he really is. >> Yeah. But there's there's another one. There's an anime white that fights with. him. >> Winged C. >> What's his name? >> Winged C. >> Winged C. He's nice. He's from like. 717's all in the [ __ ] scrapyard.

Street Beefs, excuse me. >> Yeah, I saw I saw that guy, the anime. black guy who was like. >> Yeah. >> What's his again? >> Who's the guy in the suit that acts like. a weirdo? That like acts like he's. teaching. >> I don't know his name, but I know. exactly who you're talking about. He. acts like he's like in a John Wick movie. or something. >> he's pretty good. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, it's I mean it's and every now and. again there'll be guys I think they do a. good. putting skill against skill. They don't. They they really. A couple times they've whiffed a couple. times. >> [laughter].

>> Pops is the suit guy. It's a black guy I just watched he was. wearing a suit and it was a good battle. And then in the third round his shirt. was off and I was like, all right, it's. time to. >> Yeah. >> time to lock in. >> Yeah. >> Now you're in trouble. >> Dude, scrapyards I don't know, man. I I. It might be my preferred. uh arena of watching combat sports. >> Dying in a scrapyard would be. >> So honorable. >> Bury me, dude, right in the center of.

the ring. That'd be nice. Even if I got like really hurt, just. bury me right in the center ring. >> [laughter]. >> Sprained wrist. That's it, I'm done, dude. Bury me at. the scrapyard. >> Oh, I didn't tell you my Speaking of. bury me, dude, my. my brother had. He was in the shower. He's telling me. about it. It was. killing me. He had the He was in the. shower and he just like soaped himself. up and he felt a little lump on the. testes. And he goes, [ __ ] dude. He's just like,

that's it. I'm dead. Like I'm not doing. anything. I'm not going to talk about. it. I'm just going to ride this out. It's over, bro. I got the big C. I'm. out. >> [laughter]. >> And then as he sees he's investigating. he's like, what the [ __ ] And he found. out it was a tick. >> Oh my god. >> that had burrowed. >> Oh my god, that's worse. >> I know, dude. So [laughter] he had it He. had it burrowed in to his nuts and once. he found this out he was like, he went. to his wife and was like, yo, you got to. get this thing out of me. >> Oh my god. >> So dude, he goes He was like you First.

of all, big mistake. Both Both me and my. dad were like, you got to go to the. emergency You can't have your wife do. that. Cuz if they don't, dude, they're going. to just pick you right apart. >> in. >> Dude, so Well, it's just also there's. Women don't have a. you know, they don't realize how truly. sensitive and like terrifying that is to. get hit in the nuts or like having a. tick in there of all things. >> So, I mean if it was sucking up if it. was like sucking [ __ ] out of it, that'd. be sick, but like. >> [laughter]. >> Just all day like.

If it was on your epididymis, that's a. different thing. >> Something's wrong. >> But it was just it was just there. So, then he he was like, you know, obviously. she's pulling it out. No respect for the. sack. Just yanking at that thing. And he. goes. >> [laughter]. >> He's like, I was demoted. Just multiple. leagues in her cuz like he's like he. ended with like I was such a baby about. it. I had like a towel over my top. [laughter] half of my body. >> Of course.

>> I know. The whole time he was telling me. I'm like, you're so right. He goes, "No, but dude, like the whole time I was. like, he's like, I I was I was beyond crying. >> [laughter]. >> Finally he got it out. >> This is I mean, now I want to check my. sack. >> [laughter]. >> No, yeah, I think. I think this is the second time we've. caused the listener to the true. physically react, including turning his. neck as hard as he could. I think I. think almost everybody listening wanted.

to go, I wonder how far. >> [laughter]. >> Dude, I he was telling me the story the whole. time I was going, "No. >> And right now everyone's going, I should. definitely check [clears throat] my nuts. out. >> You got to check your nuts. And. apparently there was you know, the ticks. are big apparently. Everyone thinks. >> Actually, yeah, they're they're. >> going wild right now. Everything's just. Bill Gates ticks. >> I think they are Bill Gates. >> Yeah, the Bill Gates you get a Bill. Gates tick, right? >> Son of a [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> You get the Bill Gates tick right in the. sack. And uh dude, and and he was. >> he has to go to the hospital. >> That's [clears throat] both me and my. dad were like, "Bro, that's. >> Funny enough, he has Lyme disease now.

>> He already conquered Lyme disease. He. fasted for 2 weeks straight. He did a 14-day fast conquer Lyme. disease. [laughter]. He didn't eat for [ __ ] 14 days. He claimed it helped him. >> [laughter]. >> He claimed it helped him. He probably. destroyed himself. People don't recover from that. >> Lyme's? >> No, like prisoners of war that are like. >> No, you can rock. Dude, you can do 2. weeks. >> I I yeah. >> fasted for 4 days until his vision. blurred and he's like, I for real. thought I was going to die. >> that [ __ ] you up. >> drink water for 4 straight days. >> a fasting community. Obviously, I'm not.

the one to speak on it, but. >> [laughter]. >> 14's crazy. I've done 5 and I felt like, all right, this is getting But. apparently, what happens is after like. >> You know, 1 day is like, oh [ __ ] 2 days. is like, damn, I feel [ __ ] amazing. So, he said it would just be. >> up and down and you'd be like, awesome. I think by the end of it, he was. genuinely [ __ ] up. You start [ __ ]. like all kinds of crazy [ __ ] out, too. Cuz you're I don't know what's going. When you don't eat, your body is like, all right, just get rid of all this. stuff. He He claims he looked into it and that. helps with Lyme disease. I could be. wrong. Look that up, guys. Let's see.

Let's get some information on 14-day. fast. I think. >> he's. >> Cuz What even is I don't even know what. the [ __ ] it is. >> I think it's a I think it was a. bio-weapon. >> Lyme disease? >> Yeah. >> Could be. >> I think it was. I think it would came. from a military island off the. >> Ooh. >> Yeah, off the coast of Connecticut. >> Ooh. >> Lyme's, Connecticut. And all the ticks. maybe got out. They escaped. >> What the freak? >> biting all the Yankees up there. >> Oh, [ __ ]. >> All your con men were getting. >> [laughter]. >> like sweet old con men were getting bit. going, oh, great.

[ __ ]. >> Now I'm tired in the afternoon. >> I got [ __ ] Bell's palsy. >> [laughter]. >> [ __ ]. >> Let's get the signs. >> It says Well, right off the bat, Google. AI Gemini says no, it is not. scientifically proven to cure. [clears throat]. >> AI hates fasting. >> But it may help reduce overall. inflammation and promote cellular. repair. So. >> So, yes. >> It doesn't eradicate the bacteria, but. it can help in certain things and you.

should also take antibiotics because you. could get [ __ ] up from Lyme disease. >> Yeah. >> Like you can uh. your joints, hearts, nervous joints, heart, nervous system. >> Dang. >> They could all get [ __ ] up if you. don't treat it. >> Shh. >> Straight to the motherboard, dude. That. was That was the Randy Quaid. >> [laughter]. >> Oh. >> Yeah, it was. >> But he got it pulled off and he uh. Yeah, he was. >> How long ago did this happen? >> Uh it was only only a couple weeks ago. >> Okay. >> Yeah, he said he. >> weeks ago, he's doing all right. >> Yeah, so he's all right. He was He was.

banished from the uh. from the bedroom for a while. He's like, "Bro, I don't think I'll ever smash. again.". She saw She saw him at his worst. >> Yeah. >> Having a lady just like your hairy ass. wiggling like. Which is what I would Anyone would do if. you were getting your sack operated. >> would definitely react to that. I would. never show I would do that myself. You. got to do that yourself. >> the pool to take out yourself? >> You would have to. >> I don't know if I could, dude. I had the [ __ ] bug bite on my foot. I. couldn't get that thing out. I actually. I tried to dig it out, but I went right.

to Bay. Like, "Pull this out, please.". You can, but not on your sack. But yeah, you're supposed to explode it. >> take them out. >> Oh, that's it. >> That's at least not on your skin. >> You just got to suck it up and sit in. the ER for [ __ ] 5 hours and let it. let a [ __ ] lady or whoever. >> Actually, can we pause for a second? I. do have to pee. >> Let's do it. >> Okay. I just want to see the mad bag on the. pavement. >> But yeah, that was a that was a. harrowing tale.

>> I uh. watched a little documentary on Mao. Zedong. >> What's he up to? >> He's dead, but. he killed a lot of people on the way. out. >> A lot. >> It's important to study communism. >> Yeah. >> Cuz you know, the youngsters these days, they think it's far out and fly. >> Yeah, it's really weird. >> Usually results in about 50 million. people dying. >> Doesn't work. >> Typically. >> Yeah, it's No, it's pretty I mean, that's you know, again, I'm I've been. making the YouTube debates beer. Watching that, and that's a big one. Like, how are you even comfortable. calling yourself a communist if that.

many people died? and it's like. Well, it's cuz it sounds nice. You know, it's like no, we share and. it's like. >> Yeah, but it starts with the seizure of. private property. >> Exactly. That's. >> That's [ __ ] crazy. >> Yeah, it is funny where it's like built. on. It's like it's not really sharing. >> It's built on the government taking. everyone's property. >> [laughter]. >> What the [ __ ] I the government's. terrible. >> Yeah. >> I I don't trust them with anything. >> They'll be horrible. >> Why do people want to give them more. power? What the hell? >> Cuz this is Lamarr, you love the.

government. You love the government. We need to pay. more taxes. I want to pay more taxes. >> [laughter]. >> We need more money. >> I don't need to pay more taxes. >> Yeah, you don't. I [ __ ] do. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, I mean it would be funny to be. like with like Nazism be like, well, they didn't really do that right. They. kind of messed it up. We should run it. again. That's the big That's the big communism. thing they go like, well, yeah, that. wasn't They didn't do it right. >> It is actually that.

>> They're two What is it? What. communism is what? Two for two? I mean. they have a couple other. >> a lot. >> Yeah, they have a they have a bunch of. other ones, but they have two big bad. ones. >> Union and China are the two. >> big bad boys. >> Yeah. Yeah. Not good. >> Yeah. >> It was I mean it was like. How How many How many did Mao get? Like. 20 mil? >> Way more. >> What? >> Yeah. They didn't like a three-year. period they think it might be. I mean the. the estimates are no one knows. Anytime. something happens in China they're like, and then 450,000 billion people died in.

the [ __ ] yellow revolution. >> Yeah, yeah. >> But no, I think it was like the Great. Leap Forward and it was like. estimated at 45 mil. of [ __ ] starvation. >> God damn. >> Yeah. >> And that's that's how it works. You you. come into power as the communist leader. then you go, all right, here's the plan. If people are like, I don't know about. that, you just murder them. >> Yes. >> Cuz you're like, yeah, okay, that's kind. of annoying. >> is he's anti-revolutionary. >> Yeah. >> He's against the party. You got to. arrest him.

And he they did a like the way it. started was they. they got all the kids. They got like the. college students. >> Yeah. >> And then they were like encouraging them. to be violent towards like older people. in the old system. >> What? >> So they'd like beat up their professors. and [ __ ] which. I would have tough to tough to not fall. victim to that. You go, "Wait a second, there's a new president saying I should. go [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> punch my teacher in the stomach?". >> Punch his stork in the [ __ ] head. And then I get all this stuff? >> You those kids were definitely getting.

straight A's though. Right before. [laughter] the revolution, teacher being. like, "Everybody did great again.". >> Yeah, that that had a Well, it's one of. those things that like it it is funny. It sounds so nice in theory. Like, "Yeah, we'll all share. It'll be nice.". And it's like, "But in the meantime, we're going to [ __ ]. run and just whoop people's asses." And. then no no one I don't feel like anyone. ever does that well under. >> The people at the top do. >> Yeah. >> Every single time they do really good. >> to be sweet. >> Yeah, the The pigs move into the man's. house and start standing and wearing.

clothes. All the other animals go, "What the. fuck?". >> Being the party boss. Well, I've also. heard a thing that like. communism doesn't even work unless it's. global. So they're like that was like the real. dream. >> That's Marxist, yeah. >> Yeah, they're like, "Well, it's got to. be global.". >> Yeah. >> It's a very funny philosophy. Like, "Yeah, if everybody does it, it'll. work." It's like, "Yeah, it's kind of. tricky.". >> Yeah, it's crud. >> Yeah, it's [laughter] crud. >> I think it's crud. >> It's kind of [ __ ]. >> [snorts]. >> Also, it's not even sharing at that. point. You know what I mean? It's like we. should share and then you put someone at.

gunpoint. You're like, "Give them that.". It's like when you do it with the kids. You're like, "Share your toys." You're. like, "Fuck. Here.". That That having a billion people doing. that is not, you know, it's not really. going to work. >> No, they took all their grub, dude. >> The grub is, dude. >> even allowed to have restaurants. They had to have government sanctioned. [ __ ] like canteens where everyone had. to eat grub together. >> It sucks. >> Blows dick. >> That sucks so bad. >> Yes, and then they miscalculated how. much grain they had. >> Ah. >> So they were taking all the peasants'. grub.

>> What? >> Yeah, then 45 million people starved. >> Dang. >> It's crazy. >> It's massive. Here's the thing, after it. happened, do people come out and be. like, "My bad." or is it just like. >> Mao Mao said, "My bad.". >> Did he? >> Kind of. They like They were like, "All. right, you're not the leader for a few. more years." and then he came back. >> What? >> Yeah. >> Did he have the sauce or what? >> He did. He did have the sauce. >> [ __ ]. >> That's the thing about all these. leaders, they do have the sauce. >> That's true. >> So. >> So how many people died the first time.

and then he got to come back again? That's kind of nuts. >> swear it was 45 million. Roughly. I. mean, they they have no idea, but. I heard a guy saying 80 the other day. >> Yeah, max 80 there's they say, but the. Great Leap Forward they estimate 45, but. then over the whole time they say around. 80. >> Oh, dude. >> And that's starvation, murder, or like. just everything? >> Work camps. >> Work camps. >> Yeah, you got to build tractors, dude. We got to get some [ __ ] nice. tractors. >> A lot of [laughter] people here.

>> You're a slave now and you're building. tractors because you said you didn't. like Mao. >> That sucks. >> Yeah. >> Did that kind of in you know, it sucks. 90 million people died. Did that step. China forward as a power? >> [ __ ] huge. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, it works. >> Oh, no. >> Yeah, on track to be number one right now. >> Oh, [laughter] god. >> Yeah, it works. >> Oh, man. That's terrible. I hope these [ __ ]. computers work. >> Yeah, you're not afraid to If you're not.

afraid to kill most of your population, you'll be. >> You can do some stuff. >> yeah. >> [ __ ]. And nobody's been out of shape about it. over there or they kind of like. >> If you're been out of shape about it, you and your family get killed. So. Everyone's pretty chill with it. >> Today? >> Sure today they're fine. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> They're like yeah. >> I think they moved on. >> They yeah. >> I'm sure some people hold on to some I'd. be upset. >> Yeah, what year what year are we. talking? >> Like the 50s? >> That's pretty recent. >> Great Leap Forward was probably end of. the 50s, right?

>> It's pretty it's pretty recent. >> Yeah. >> [clears throat]. >> And so China was like pretty poor. >> Yeah. >> And then this guy is like I got an idea. >> They got rocked in World War II. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And he was basically like what if we. turn people into Legos? >> Yes. >> And they were just [laughter] like. Jesus Christ, dude. That's so bad. >> Yeah. And then the other government went. to Taiwan. That was who we recognized. We were like. those are the real leaders of China. And. then in the 70s I think we were like ah. You guys suck.

>> What? >> It's China. >> I thought China was [ __ ]. >> China is [ __ ]. >> Well. >> [laughter]. >> but Taiwan we don't have. >> Taiwan was so the original the Chinese. government escaped during the Communist. Revolution. They relocated to Taiwan. >> Don't we [ __ ] with Taiwan though? >> Yeah, we still [ __ ] with Taiwan but then. we we finally recognized Communist China. as the real China. >> Got you. We're like yeah, you guys let's. stop pretending. I mean it's kind of. embarrassing. >> got a nuke and then they. >> Dang. Mao did get it done. He [ __ ] did.

I mean it sucks that you know. I mean all all those all the thing too. is once you get to night killing 90. million people it's almost just absurd. Now you sound like Joseph Stalin, dude. >> Really? >> One death is a tragedy, a million's a. statistic. >> It is it is, dude. And a million it's just like all right. >> that. I was close with that quote. >> you're I think you're 100% right. Cuz if you were to tell me like he one. day and there was this kid and he. stepped on the kid's head and killed him. like monster. 90 you're like. guy was motivated.

>> [ __ ] did he kill 90? >> Yeah, the guy had a plan. >> This guy is nuts. [laughter]. >> Yeah, that's horrible, man. It's also funny getting kicked out and. then being like yeah, my bad my bad. Like all right. >> Yeah, all right. We're going to you're going. to be vice chairman for five or six. years and then you can come back. He's. player two. And he had a nasty wife, dude. >> Did he? >> Yeah, he married a actress who was like. a [ __ ] loudmouth, dude. She was a problem and then uh. >> Did he kill her? >> And then when he died they sentenced her. to death. >> Oh, that's right. I knew she got some. sort of death. >> Uh which I think they.

just they changed it to life in prison. and then she killed herself. >> What? >> yeah. Honoring. >> Just on. >> Honoring the boy. >> Really? >> He's like, "Mao's the man, dude. I'm. going to kill myself.". It's kind of sick. But I think she died. in like the '90s. >> She made it. >> Yeah. >> I didn't hear. >> It's it's it was this recent that we. were alive at the same time as his. [ __ ] wife. >> Damn. >> Yeah. 91. >> How did How did Mao die? >> Damn, dude. She She was alive for No. Names last title. That's how long it's been, dude. >> He got to watch it from the jail.

>> wife was like, >> [laughter]. >> Oh, Ru Hotes. >> [gasps]. >> And when did he die? How did Mao die? He. had to have been murdered, right? >> He died. I forget was it cancer? How did he die? >> Parkinson's, heart attacks. >> Dang. >> Yeah. >> And he had a major heart attack in 1976. >> He looked exactly like my grandpa. >> Did he really? >> [laughter]. >> My mom's side My mom's side of the. family has very Asian features.

I might be a descendant of the great Mao. Zedong. >> Dude. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, I've been. I've been meaning to look into that guy. >> A descendant. >> Could be. >> I'm working on the [ __ ] do right now, dude. >> [laughter]. >> I might get the Mao do going. >> He's got the Robotnik. >> I'm going to have the do. [laughter]. I have the do. The Mao Zedong do. But yeah, it turns out he was a jerk. I. watched enough of it.

>> Well, we always hear he's a jerk, but. then it's like and you always hear he. put up numbers, but like. >> He put up the most. >> That's crazy. >> Number one all time. >> And nobody really uh. you know you hear he's a bad guy. obviously but. >> Hello. >> That's true. >> [laughter]. >> That's true. >> We're going to edit that out. All right, we did it. Good episode. >> Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane. Secret Podcast on Spotify. >> Do it.