Ep 612 - Night Gator (feat. Charles Blyzniuk)

The wild wild west. >> I'm loving it, man. >> I've come around. >> Yeah. >> I was against incest. I thought it was. for. I thought it was for slots and. minorities. >> You said incest. >> Incense. [laughter]. I was against incense. >> Hey, still on the record. >> Now I'm for it. >> You're on the right side. >> Yeah, yeah. You see the right video. >> [laughter]. >> Incense. >> Slots slots and minorities. >> [laughter]. >> I thought incense was for slots and. minorities.

>> That's so funny. >> Now I know I can enjoy it as well. >> There you go. >> [laughter]. >> I literally brought incense. I'll give. them to you. I brought. I brought Yeah, I brought the incense. sticks. >> I'm big on it. My wife hates it. I got. to use it in my office. My wife. >> Oh, you'll like it. Oh, it's holding the theory. >> Hates [laughter] incense. She's type A though. Incense, if you're. type A, incense is not for you. >> It's not for me. >> She's type A. >> It's for dopers. >> It's for type B slots and minorities. >> That's true. [laughter].

>> Yeah, people who have to wait until the. thing burns entirely. >> I've never gone into a. white guy's house where there's incense. Unless. >> Sweeb unless he's a dober. >> It's a dober. It's a dober thing. Dober. thing for sure. Dober thing. Muslims oil, they go direct. to the body. The oils. >> Yeah, it is roll on. >> Yeah, I I would I might get into Muslim. oils, honestly. That's a. That's a nice quiet level up your. flying. >> sell them at the mothership. >> [laughter].

>> Poppy poppy. >> That might be my merch table. Muslim. oils. I'll come out after a show and be like, "My friend, let me see your arm.". >> [laughter]. >> Smells so good. >> That'd be nice. That'd be nice to get. like a um. for the merch table having a slice of. like an Indian city where it's just. clamored [snorts] you walking out. It's just like you come out to like a. New New street where it's just. clamoring. You sharpen people's knives. you by the wrist like come with me come.

here my friend please. Like towards the pyramids all kinds of. crazy [laughter]. >> That video pissed me off so much. yesterday. >> Yeah keep laughing at it. disguise in a hole grinding. plastic up. >> [laughter]. >> For 12 hours a day for the rest. of their lives. >> They're like is it boring? The guy's. like no. >> Yeah like one guy is like [laughter] nah. I love this Yeah you're literally. sitting on your heels for 12 hours. grinding plastic that was like. >> Crazy. I want to know who's the fat cat. that buys up all that plastic. >> was the guy with the computer. >> Oh yeah.

>> True. Yeah. >> He makes like. >> Even the manager buddy even transcends. the world. >> [laughter]. >> If you're the manager no matter where. you are you are getting a button down. khakis. >> I'm glad. >> Gel hair fat ass. >> Yeah man it's crazy. The pleated khakis. are for the managerial cat class man. >> He did it. >> Every manager I've ever worked under. [laughter] fat ass bro juicy ass on. them. >> Yes. Thick tall. >> No matter woman or man. Man you start if. you're a man you start eventually you. start like transing into a woman's. figure. It's crazy. [laughter].

>> It's a full feminine figure. >> It's crazy dude. >> Cuz I think it's it's it is a very. feminine job. >> A manager yeah. >> I mean? You're like did you do that? >> [laughter]. >> Well I don't want to have to do this. I. don't want to have to talk to you again. but I will tell on you if you don't get. [laughter] that done. You got to. Reporting to a guy above you. It's just. a little. >> I would I'd rather be minion than. manager. I either want to be minion or. boss. I don't want to be manager. Manager sucks. Minion rules. If you're. the lowest guy at the job. >> yeah I do like minion.

>> I've ever done. It rules. >> Yeah that's cuz you're working for the. boss. >> Yeah true. >> And you're like the the manager's a. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> He's got a nice butt boss boys. >> But he sucks but he does have a nice. ass. >> Boss loves his minions that I've seen. that on display so many times. >> Yeah. >> I swear to god the boss and minions are. like the closest the managers dude. And. anytime someone becomes manager every. minion's like, dude, that guy. >> was a minion, dude. that guy. >> That's. That's when they transform. >> Yeah, true.

>> It's like, oh, nobody likes me. Everyone's against me. I'm going to tell. on you. >> [laughter]. >> You guys have been mean to me since I. started this. >> I did like when I worked for an. electrician, it was my friend's uncle. And I was I was a I got a lot of hate. cuz I was a prized minion. I got to. drive him around every day. It was. awesome. I would just I was like his. chauffeur, basically. And every now and again he'd be like, yo, you want to go pop up on them, see. what they're doing? And he would do like. walk-ups on jobs. Dude, you would catch. the minions and be like laying down and. around. He'd be like, what the. are you guys doing? They're like,

we're just. doing we're just chilling for a second. here. Dude, it was it's the best. >> You could do it outside. >> I No, they are totally unbothered. >> [laughter]. >> The minions working on the street right. now. I mean, they lay they lay under the. tree. Every time [laughter] I'm out. there, there's 10 guys taking a nap in. my front yard. >> But if you ran up on them like, what are. you doing? They would go, "Woah!". >> I don't think, dude. These are strong. >> They're strong lads, for sure. But if. you catch a lad in a a lad on a nap. outside and they wake up, you would just.

walk up on them like, hey, they're going. to go they're going to assume it's time. to it's time to boogie. >> I would have to put on pleated khakis. >> [laughter]. >> I'll walk out like this. >> There's a blue t-shirt. >> minion talking to me. >> [laughter]. >> It's a white minion, the lowest form of. minion. >> Yeah, khakis, uh, belt clip, phone. >> Yeah. You got to roll by. >> Your ass is sticking out of the. [laughter] pants just. >> Yes. >> You have not bought new pants, but you. gained 40 lb just in your ass and hips.

>> [laughter]. >> You are a manager. >> It's crazy. This is wild. >> Damn, you think you get a BBL just to. move up? >> Yo. [laughter]. >> Move up the corporate ladder. >> You got a BBL, your boss would start. noticing you like, this guy's got the. makings of a true manager. >> Yeah, I'm going to go to a plastic. surgeon and be like, I just want to look. like a Dairy Queen manager.". >> [laughter]. >> Let me see. I need you to parachute me up. You need. to be a big boy. >> [laughter]. >> Dude, I was me and Blizzard having a. laugh about uh. I don't know if I should even tell it. >> [laughter]. >> I'm here.

>> This episode is brought to you by. PrizePicks. The regular season's done. and the NBA playoffs are here. Time to. get in on the action with PrizePicks, a. preferred partner of the NBA. >> NBA. >> N space B space A. Download the PrizePicks app today and. use code DRENCH to get $50 in lineups. after you play your first $5 lineup. And. during the playoff during the playoffs, make a $5 lineup with a live NBA pick. for a shot at the do it live sweepstakes. trip to the NBA finals.

More info can be found on the PrizePicks. Promos board. PrizePicks, a preferred. partner of the NBA. >> He likes [laughter]. >> I'll give it Yeah. >> Supervision kink is nice. >> I actually don't Yeah, when I was. >> and parents and then you get to go, "Bro, it's just you and me in the room. tonight." Shh, parents are gone. >> When I Yeah, see, everyone just. >> He's a very private man. I shouldn't. have said I As soon as I said I'm like, "Oh I forgot where. >> When I was texting you about it.

cuz it was making me laugh, I was like. It was making me laugh, but I. >> [laughter]. >> was actually excited by. I kind of like it. >> Supervision kink is nice. >> It's It's exciting if you stay with, you. know. >> relatives? >> Yeah, you stay with like your relatives. >> their family or your family and you have. to have quiet sex, which is like, "Damn, this is great. Normally she'd be. screaming from what I was like.". >> [laughter]. >> But now we have to be quiet so there's. no pressure on me for this dead silent. sex. [laughter]. >> No, I scream. MOM!

DAD, WAKE UP. DAD, I'm coming. >> [laughter]. >> Dad! >> Punching the air. >> Mom, can I have a glass of water? I'm. really thirsty. [laughter]. Mom, I've been crushing for. 14 minutes. Really thirsty. >> [laughter]. >> That's a good run. 14's a good run. >> 14 is solid, bro. I'm on I'm back on my. no born not even fat It's not even I'm. not even trying to. I'm just being like. I'm just not interested in the born not. interested in fapping and. I'm I'm coming up on that ovulation.

cycle. So I'm like yo, it's about to be. on. >> You got to be weird as game. >> We are we are game planning and she's. like. she actually said this to me this. morning. She's like, I know you like a. before that way you last longer. and I'm like, bro I'm down for whatever. I'm down for whatever. >> Otherwise you wait wait wait and then. it's like it's the juiciest ever. >> It's a great talk. >> So [snorts] I'm about. >> By the way, big fan of a quick talk. I don't give a about you at all. That was wonderful. >> [laughter]. >> Now I'm tired.

>> I got to stay I want to stay up in it. for a minute, bro. >> Yeah. >> Give me a couple minutes. I don't need. that long. >> A couple minutes is nice, but then it. starts getting a little too long. You. go, I'm starting to get tired. [laughter]. Yeah. I'm getting too tired to even do. it now. >> Now I've been planking. [laughter]. When you're when you're planking, I've. been planking regularly. I'm excited to. show off. There's no other There's no. other way you can show that off. You. >> The planking [laughter]. celebrating a touchdown. That's crazy. >> [gasps]. >> Do you ever see the guy on Tik Tok who.

goes like this and goes and then like. does different arm movements? >> No. >> Maybe. >> There's a guy You know who I'm talking. about? >> There's a. viral trend straight up in the air. >> [laughter]. >> There's a viral trend of like divorced. 50-year-old guys who want to show women. how sick they are in terms of like. So they do a thing where they. go like this, dip the pelvis, pop, lift. one arm, lift one arm and it's just them. like up and down. They'll do it like a. 7-Eleven aisle. It's so funny. >> Oh, I've actually okay, I have seen. that. >> you were talking about the guys who put. the camera here like you're. them. >> Mhm. You ever see that one?

>> It's great. They lay a camera down. It's again. 50-year-old, 40-year-old divorced guys. I saw one where the guy starts by going. >> Oh, no, no, no. [laughter]. >> It's so funny. >> But. >> I immediately sent it to Gabe Davis and. Billy. >> [laughter]. >> Gabe and Billy are getting those. >> And then you look at the comments and. it's literally like 40-year-old women. like across the country like I love. this. >> I get so sad when I see women sitting in. the comments. >> [laughter]. >> Did you see the one I sent you with the.

guy's his tongue's gone crazy? It's like. >> Did you just say that recently? >> [laughter]. >> I got to check that out. I haven't seen. the gram. He's He's just showing every. He's showing them what he can do. He can. >> He's got a crazy tongue game. >> [laughter]. >> Let me see. Let me see. >> [laughter]. >> Yo, what? Why's he have a towel on his head? >> He's sweating under there, dude. >> [laughter]. >> Goatee for the goatee is.

porno. >> Oh, no. >> Oh my god. >> I didn't know that was a thing. >> I'm in [laughter] LA, 47 years old, 8. in. >> Oh, okay. 8 in thick. >> I like how that guy's coming back. >> Yeah, I like how people are. impersonating him in gas stations. >> Yeah, yeah. [snorts] That's nice. >> My daughter just died last year. She. killed herself. >> She was 8 years old. She was faster than. me. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, that's fine. >> It's just funny. I I had a.

I don't know why this tickled me the. other day, and I've done this on. accident before, but I was thinking. about I don't I don't know if you've. ever done the night gator to a woman. when you take a dump before bedtime, you. forget to flush [laughter] it. And all. night she's getting up and she takes her. little pees, and she doesn't know the. gator's lurking. >> [laughter]. >> Until until the morning time, and she. confronts the gator and goes, "Oh my. god." He goes, "Oh, My bad. I was reading a good. book. I forgot to flush. >> [laughter]. >> I left the night I left the night. gator.". >> How are you forgetting to flush? >> [laughter].

>> If you're there long enough, you might. forget sometimes. >> Dude, I'm reading I'm. >> I'm there long as hell, dude. >> [laughter]. >> I will never forget to flush. >> I've forgotten, dude. I've forgotten. If. I get to If I'm like deep in my phone or. in like a book, I'll like I'll just get. up and if something happens, like, "Oh, let me go get it." My kid might wake up. I'll run in. >> I'm terrified of the night gator. >> Bro. >> I'll leave. I'm like, if a girl is with me, I'm. like, "Holy did I forget to. flush?". >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, for some reason. I'm like, "I. think there's a turd in the hotel. toilet.". >> Night gator. They don't even know it's. under them all night. They're just. laying there.

They're peeing on the gator all night. >> Sneaking his head out underneath some. toilet paper and just. >> [laughter]. >> waiting. >> I was I was almost left the gator on her. the other night. I had I was like, "Ooh, shit.". >> You got to go back [laughter] in. >> I had to get the gator back in. I had to. put the gator down. >> Yeah. No, no, no, that's not your alarm. It's. actually not the morning yet. Sorry. >> [laughter]. >> Nothing sours a woman's mood first thing. in the morning than confronting the. gator first. Just in the morning, the. twilight. >> [laughter]. >> But a lady A lady will leave a little. road rash for you. Nothing pisses me off more than seeing a.

lady's road rash. You go, "Dude, stop taking giant shits.". Clean that. I don't want to see that. >> [laughter]. >> The road rash? >> Damn. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Tie a mocks. I had a up I had gas last night. and I was just setting them off. I. literally woke up at one point. [laughter]. I did like a complete like a a fart that. if you videoed it would have maybe got a. million views on it. It was so loud, so. long and so powerful. I did it in my.

sleep and then woke up to my wife like, "Ah!" And I was like, "Oh, fuck." And I. had felt the velocity and I was like, "Yo, I'm sorry about that. That's really. bad." It was real like. It was like A FOG HORN. >> [laughter]. >> I WISH your ordering would track that. >> I know. >> Like, yeah, why don't they? >> Yeah. >> I would get one if they did that. >> It'd be awesome. [laughter]. >> You could probably have to put it like a. fart bee hole. An aura ring for the bee. hole. How many farts a day? How hot are. they? >> You can feel me tense. >> Wear or a butt plug.

>> be like your blood your blood pressure. spiked hard as for 1 second. Just. me going. >> Did you fart? >> [laughter]. >> He's got an app. It's like you get a. message like let it out, brother. I'm tracking her aura ring. She's in a. deep sleep. You're you're safe to fart. >> Yeah. >> Oh, that's nice. >> Yeah. You can like you like link them. up. >> Yeah, I I have a thing holding them in, man. It's got to be bad for you. >> Probably. >> It's got to There's no way. Like what. the happens to it? >> Well, it's just I mean immediately it's. just discomfort, you know. >> discomfort, but it's like where does it. go? You fart I I've Dude, there's not a.

lot of science on farts at all. I've I wanted like the encyclopedia on. farts. I have searched for it. All I. found was that book I showed you guys. about a guy wrote about almost how he. almost himself a bunch of times. That's it. >> [laughter]. >> Cuz the book he he actually thanked us. cuz that book did really well. >> It's awesome. >> Nice. >> Yeah. >> You might I mean you just step into that. step into that hole. >> Yeah, when you start doing it. >> I get it I guess I got to find someone I. can start studying. I I bug professors. every now and again to like to to do. stuff. >> Yeah, come on in and chat. >> outside and get one of these guys who's. working on the road.

>> True. >> Get a fart shaman. >> They would [laughter]. they would let you know, dude. >> Take me into the tent with them. They're. like we all started farting. >> I'll be riding in your steamroller with. you all day [laughter]. >> Be great just to be like fart. How do. you fart that? Fart? >> Fart? >> Oh. >> [laughter]. >> Now yeah, now we're speaking the same. language. >> [laughter]. >> They'll fart. >> [laughter].

>> I want to get I want to gas up so hard. then hit like an ayahuasca ceremony and. just fart. [laughter]. Just not even drink Don't even drink the. ayahuasca. >> Scaring everyone like. >> [laughter]. >> People would have like life-altering. like visions. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Birds came back. Amazing. >> The wrens came back, dude. >> Yeah, there's people in there like, "Oh, my dad.". >> [laughter]. >> And then you're Yeah, the white you wear. like the all white, but it's a. >> [laughter]. >> a tall tee, extra tall tee.

>> Oh. >> [snorts]. >> But yeah, that's uh I've said it before, those ayahuasca ceremonies kind of freak. me out, man. A lot of people who do. that, they go and do it like 50 more. times and you're like, "Yo, bro.". >> to it. >> What's good? >> Right. >> 50? >> I know. >> It's a lot. >> I feel like. Aren't you just supposed to do it like. a couple times if you would actually get. into it? Aren't you supposed to do it. like a couple times? >> something that crazy, you wouldn't do it. 50 more times. >> Totally. >> Yeah, I don't think I'm going to do it. No, I don't know. I I'll save that stuff.

for like when I'm dying. That's going to. be fired out, you know. >> that might blow dick. >> I mean, you're dying. What the. >> Yeah, I know. And then you're going to. really realize it. It's probably going. to be really scary. >> Yeah, true. >> You could either accept it or it's going. to be horrific. >> Yeah. >> I don't know. >> I don't know. I mean, but then it's like. I'm kind of terrified like just dying in. sweatpants watching TV is like. scary, too. >> It's coming. >> [laughter]. >> It's coming. Comes for us all. >> Yeah. >> You got to do the wasca, dude. So at. least you'll be like, "Oh, well." You. know, "Oh, I'm going to die in.

sweatpants.". >> [laughter]. >> And then while you're dying in. sweatpants, you'll be like, "I remember. when I went to South America just to. know that I was going to die do. [laughter] this. What was the point of. that trip?". >> Yeah, remember I had to go with my dad. My dad's friend was dying. He like sent. us all like, "Go hang with him." We. would just have to literally just sweat. He actually would do tighty whities. He was just wasting dude away. >> Oh. >> Dude, he had like a some sort of cancer. and he would just watch westerns with. him. He would sit there and be like. the whole time. He was the dude. rules. >> I mean, yeah, it sounds nice. >> Yeah, he went out like a man, dude. Just.

westerns in his tighty whities till the. last day. >> Yeah. >> We me and my brother were making weed. coconut oil and just like bring it to. him. >> That's nice. >> My dad like, "Go make some of that. you know, the oil you make and bring it. to Frank.". >> [laughter]. >> He would just munch. He would just. munch weed coconut oil, watch. Clint Eastwood do his. Final days. >> I like that actually. Yeah. >> That's a good way to go. That's a sick. way to go. >> Doesn't even bother to put pants on. >> Yeah, he said, "No, hell no, dude.". It's awesome. >> Damn. >> It was scary the first time I went to. his house when he like peeked through. the blinds. I was like,

>> Oh, yeah. Looks like um. what's it called? The guy from the first. season of True Detective. >> [laughter]. >> Gas mask on. Yeah. Yeah. >> It was chill though. >> I uh. I'm still thinking about. >> The wow, wow. >> And we can edit [laughter] that out. I just think I would just just. personally getting kidnapped as an adult. is really funny to me. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. >> I I had another loose relative that was. involved in a pizza guy. strong arm robbery plot who got.

eventually caught. He was the Batman. He. would wield the bat on the pizza the. pizza guy. The Dominos would roll. [laughter] up. >> going to call the Dominos. >> would roll up and one of these dude I. know would have the bat the Louisville. ready like, "Give me all your money on. you, right?" And this uh of course. >> [laughter]. >> They had a nice little thing going and. they got busted eventually. >> They kept bonking the drivers. >> They bonking Well, they're threatening. to bonk. I don't think they ever bonked. >> But they're going to yabba dabba doo the. driver. >> [laughter]. >> Hit him with it. Such a It's a sick hustle. >> It Well, yeah.

>> Orders up. >> What? You held a club point? >> I was on a club point. Hey, man. I was. >> That's a prehistoric That's a primal. fear. >> Dude, it was crazy. I'll be honest. At. club point I was just kind of like, "Guys, I'll leave. Like you don't have. to do this.". >> Also, that's a shitty squad if they're. robbing people with clubs. You guys are. definitely going to do it. You guys will. do it. >> [laughter]. >> The club guy going, "It's like there was. like six of you." I mean you guys could. just beat my ass. It'd be worse if all. six of you beat my ass. There's just six. guys and one guy with a club like, "We'll bash your brain in." I'm. like, My home my house was literally like two.

blocks away. I was like, "Guys, I'll. just walk home, guys. I'm done.". >> It's like a tee ball. >> Today's not my day. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That sucked. That sucked though. just sitting in Westville for like an. hour by myself in a really bad. neighborhood being like, "Should be coming back with these. Percocets. I really. >> like a street fighter level though or. like a. one of those double dragons. You just. walk out [laughter] in like a shitty. town and a guy with a. six bad guys with sleeveless. >> I need one of my friends to send back to. back to me and do a spin kick so we can. knock them down. But yeah, that was That sucked. The one. time I I remember I took way too much.

mushrooms in college and I like walked. into like a really up area of. West Philly to get out of my house and. just seeing like the dilapidated houses. and it was I was like. Ah, it was it was a lot. >> Yes. >> scary. It's really menacing and scary. >> You saw a West Philly bull? >> Still in West Philly. It still looks. >> Moving from North to West Philly is. hilarious. >> [laughter]. >> I'm going to go to this neighborhood. It's a little dangerous. I'm going to. Where Where else is nice? >> Immediately they find me. >> It was like. >> Yeah, there he is. >> Yeah, immediately they find me.

>> What was the last time you were. victimized? Was it just the bike theft? >> It's the bike theft. >> How did the bike theft go down? >> Was that a He came up on one bike? >> up on the city bike. >> Oh, it was a city bike? >> Yeah. Or like whatever the Philly. version is. Came up on the city bike. Uh. and like. >> Got you off. >> It was like he commandeered and. intercepted. >> It was It was a pirate. It was actually. [laughter] a. >> It was Blackbeard. >> Yeah. >> It was really Blackbeard. >> [laughter].

>> Yeah, and then uh. >> He pulled up on you. Snagged your bike. >> on me. Took the bike. >> Did he just like grab it real quick like. yo, give me that? >> No, he was like He first started trying. to ask me like how much He was like how. much did you pay for the bike? And I was. like all right, this I got to go. >> Yeah. >> I was like I'm not going to. >> He's just doing like Kelly Blue Book for. bikes? >> Yeah. >> He's curious. He's curious. >> He turns out it's free. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, for you. >> fee on this is zero. So you hop off there. He was how much is. that in. >> Yeah, you eventually [laughter] become a.

Muslim oil salesman. >> For you my friend. The ticket That'll be me. The bike free. for you. >> [laughter]. >> I love city bike. >> That was a nice thing. After after he. took my bike, he. he pointed to the city bike and he was. like, "You can have that one.". I was like, "All right.". >> I want to have that one. >> ride that home. >> That's nice. >> [laughter]. >> That's That was kind of chill of him to. be like, >> It was at least It was like thoughtful. enough to be like, "You got wheels still.". >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't Don't get down on.

yourself. You still have wheels for a. little bit. >> Right. There was a guy. Look, I didn't get Nothing happened, but. there was a guy last night that was like. really power walking in my direction. >> What? Where were you? >> I was walking on Congress Avenue. for like a while. It was It's my fault. >> come here, >> I would Yeah. >> It's just going to be North Philly, West. Philly, Austin. You're going to be. getting chased by pirates. >> [laughter]. >> The pirates down here are going to chase. you. >> This guy was like one of the He was like. the You remember those two guys from.

Pirates of the Caribbean who were like. trying to trick the. >> [laughter]. >> He was like He was so dirty and. shirtless. >> He was coming for you? >> He was coming for you. He was coming for. everybody. He was just like on a. mission. And I I just happened to have. like headphones in and just. you know, surprise. >> Took off. >> Popped up on me. >> Oh, no. >> But. he he had other stuff to do. >> Yeah. >> He like He got by me quick. I was like a. temporary stop. >> Yeah. Yeah. I've been watching too. I've. been I watched this one guy's videos.

where it's just They all start with him. being like, "But this guy hit someone. like 10 times." He did one where he took. a key and like hit a metal plate. Someone kind of popped up on me the. other day. I had my key. I I was like, "Dude, is this my chance?" I'm. >> Would you Would you hit him with the. John Wick combo? >> Just I was going to, but he didn't He. didn't He just kept moving. >> It'd be awesome to hit a homeless guy. with a dead punch combo. >> [laughter]. >> I want to get that guy He has a guy. wearing a motorcycle helmet. I'm going. to wear the helmet and let that guy. demonstrate on me. >> You might I mean. >> Toss it on the bum first. >> Yeah. That'd be nice.

>> Yeah. >> Maybe he would have tied got him into. like a pretzel. >> [laughter]. [gasps]. >> They were just like. >> That's what I thought. >> True. >> If it was the guy asleep in front of the. Quinta. I'm not sure how you can pretzel. that man. >> [laughter]. >> Were you watching that with us? >> No. >> The guy who was asleep. It was like. >> [laughter]. >> He was just It was literally like a pile. >> Face down on a pile of rocks in front of. the Quinta. >> Oh. >> They came and woke [laughter] him up and. he was like. >> Oh, no. It was literally like.

>> You know the Quinta and. >> Yeah, it was like. >> Right downtown? >> Yeah, yeah. >> Right by Isn't it right next to the. Greek Theater? >> to someone who stayed in that the other. day though. Like, "Dude, my hotel sucks. I'm in the La Quinta." And I'm like, "Oh, yeah, dude. That thing's like. >> hell. >> Yeah, thing's the worst. It's good for. the alphabet game on the road though, I. will say. Huge. It's the only Q on the road. Oh, oh. I see. >> For real. >> Dairy Queen's the Q. >> Yeah, yeah. True, true, true. >> The X is just where it's at. It's the. most impossible. >> It's tough. You got to yeah. I feel like. a lot of vape shops have helped with the. X. There's a lot of like. >> right. Express.

>> Yeah, true. >> Porn, strip clubs. Hopefully. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, X for Smokers World and then like. Arabic letters. >> Yeah. Yeah, you try to translate them. I'm. pretty sure that's a Muslim X right. there. >> That's true. >> [laughter]. >> But yeah, man. That's I I start my day I. started my day today actually. uh. just game planning like if I was at the. park and like the the some like weirdo. guy was like hitting or like. with the kids. >> Mhm. >> How hard would I go on him? It's like, "Dude, you would him up so bad." I. do that all the time.

>> Yeah. >> I was just game planning like, "Dude, I. would hit him like. >> you got your ass beat by the pedophile? >> Thought about it before. >> That's tough. >> like you can't, dude. You can't. You you. just have to go. >> You have to go honorably, obviously. You. have to go into battle. But if you get. vanquished by a pedophile in the park. and then he gets the kids. >> I'm going Well, I if I started losing, I. would fight I would go for privates. I. would fight dirty. >> You'd love that. >> I would try to rip the F dude. >> It's his world. >> If I monkey clawed him? >> There you go. >> [laughter]. >> Ooh, baby. >> Yeah, baby.

>> on the ground like. now I wait he'd look down at you. >> He'd get me. Yeah, he'd. >> Now you're my world. You just touched a man's penis at the. park. You're one of us. >> [laughter]. >> Then you join forces you go where are. the kids? >> Yeah, it's like a double cross. It's. like he's like I actually brought a. camera. >> go to my wife and like you have till. sundown to destroy me. >> [laughter]. >> Do you think there's. peds who are watching these like. pedophile hunter videos who are like. training to be like I can't get foiled?

>> Yeah. >> And they're like just getting buff. >> True. That's nice. They probably running. drills in the supermarket just down the. banana [laughter]. hard left at the banana stand. >> They have like a three count drill. >> Yeah, they're doing the NFL combine. [laughter]. He's got 20 second shuttle. This guy's. going to be a great pedophile. He can. fly. He's going to fly out of that Walgreens, dude. >> [laughter]. >> They probably rewatch at the beginning. of Aladdin when like they steal the. apple. >> Yes. >> Is that how they like get through there? >> Yes. Yeah, like build like a two scale. cereal aisle.

>> Yeah. >> in his house. >> Yeah, they got to start training. >> should start training like Navy SEALs. like just a complete replicate. Walgreens in a warehouse. >> [laughter]. >> That would be a. >> Every day. >> That would be a good prank where you. have one of those pedophile hunters you. like collab with them but the pedophile. is not even a pedophile. He's like you. know those like small jujitsu guys who. are like nasty as. >> Yeah. >> So it doesn't look that imposing but. then they go to get him the guy just. pedophile fake pedophile just folds up. and. >> Dude. >> Yeah. >> You get to be like what the dude. pedophile is beating you. >> Pedophile beat your ass. >> Pedophile beat your ass.

>> But then his boy his boy would come with. a pumpkin from behind. >> Yeah. >> Pumpkin. If I was a pedophile I'd give. up the game, dude. I [laughter] would. the pumpkin is the scariest way to go. >> Getting bombed by a pumpkin. Yes. [laughter]. >> Dude, that's terrifying. >> I'd rather. I'd rather be. >> caught and known as a pedophile than. known as a getting KO'd [laughter] by a. pumpkin. >> Pumpkined on the internet, dude. >> Yeah, you cannot Yeah, October to to. December, you cannot [laughter]. kids.

>> Yeah. >> Because it's it's gourd season and you. can't get it. >> Yeah, getting [laughter] hit with. getting hit with a gabi's pumpkin prank, dude. It'd be terrible. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Thrown in the air. The alley-oop pumpkin. >> [laughter]. >> Oh. >> It is truly Yeah, they like It's like an. assist. They like pick and roll and then. the he guy like moves in. >> I saw the one where they a pedophile got. thrown into the air and the two people. Yeah, they play. The [laughter] alley-oop them. They guy. gets behind him. >> That's so That sucks.

>> [laughter]. >> Yeah, man. That is rough stuff. I mean, there's got I mean, I don't. know, man. It's. >> It's like those guys are training. >> What we're talking about. >> True. >> It's like. I think it's funny what they're up to. >> Mhm. >> Just if you if they got the wrong guy. once. and they threw him in the air and. punched him and called him a pedophile. and then hit him with a pumpkin. [laughter] and it was just a guy that. was like getting canned bonds for his. daughter. >> Yeah. [laughter]. He's just a He's just a math teacher. They're like the most at risk for. getting a you know. >> Yeah. >> They look like pedophiles.

>> Yeah. >> Most math teachers do happen to look. like pedophiles. >> It's true. >> got to be careful. If you're a math If. you're a mathematician, watch out. >> Yeah. >> True. >> [laughter]. >> It's like Sean I. >> I'd be 1975. >> It's like they uh. that teacher who shows off like his. outfits on Instagram. I don't I don't want. >> Oh, yeah. That guy's I don't like any of. that. >> I don't like it either. >> like when hot girls do it. When hot. girls do it. >> They. >> There's hot girl teachers that are like, "Check out my outfit for today.". >> What? >> You going to one of these kids.

>> Yeah. >> You better stay in a low grade. >> Yeah, for real. >> You get in the high school, they'll get. you. My god, man. Captain of the football team. >> Surprised you didn't get got, bro. >> Ooh. >> Yeah, dude. >> [laughter]. >> What is name? >> [laughter]. >> Dude, that joke on yourself is so. funny. >> Maybe I did. >> Matt. >> [laughter].

>> Man, I'm pumped on this bird feeder. Though I was struggling to set it up. right now. >> it, George? >> I was trying to connect it, yeah. >> Yes. I'm I'm I couldn't be more. stoked. I spent the morning I got a. kumquat tree. Uh. Yo. [laughter]. Is your kumquat. >> Yeah, I didn't know where you could get. it. >> I got kumquats, limes, and an avocado. tree. >> That's nice. >> I got peach and lemon coming. >> Avocado tree is sick. >> Bro, I can't I can't wait. >> Yeah. >> Can't wait. Avocado tree I won't.

probably yield anything. Maybe this. winter I'll get a couple. Get a couple. They're a Mexican avocado, so they're. hardy to the cold. Cuz a cold snap will. your avocado tree up, but these. things they can take it they can take a. little cold. >> Cool. >> Sub 23. Careful, I got them in pots. I'm going. to move them in. No problem no problem, but. Um dude, I spent the whole morning. getting these things and like I thought. it was like 9:00 a.m. but he's like. dude, it's 11:00 you got to leave. I was. like. >> Yeah. >> I didn't even shower. I'm covered in. dirt. >> I saw that. >> Yeah, sorry about that. >> That makes sense. >> Sorry about that. Yeah, I'm pretty dirty. right now. >> I I don't care at all. >> Didn't have time to shower.

>> I just saw it on your ankles. I was. like, I wonder what he's been doing. >> You're in the field. >> He's in the field. >> Planting fruit trees. He's in the field. >> It's awesome. >> Remember the Bad Bunny Super Bowl. halftime show? >> Yeah, that was you. >> I'm the guy getting hit. >> You're one of those guys. >> I'm the guy [laughter]. >> That's you. >> That's great. >> I saw that. I was like, yo it's me. basically. Pretty much me. It's just for. me. He did this for me. It's so sick. He. did that video for me. >> True. >> Finally some representation. Super Bowl halftime show. >> Yeah. That'd be nice. >> My last representation was the old. rappers. That was awesome. >> That was good representation.

>> That was good That was awesome. When 50. was a little little big hanging upside. down he goes, yeah yeah, dude. [laughter]. The guy at the top's like, you just. crushed it. >> [laughter]. >> 50 Cent's been a little little He had a. he was like. >> Right. >> I mean he's he's obviously still doing. his thing, but he was like he was the. dude for he had a good like 2-month run. where. >> He did the right thing though. He went. away for a little while. >> Yeah. Yeah, he chilled. >> That's the Yeah. >> What is he cooking up? Who's next? >> Didn't he say LeBron? >> No. >> Didn't he post something about LeBron.

where he was like, "I have a documentary. about you?". >> black. >> Hello. >> going to be crazy. >> [laughter]. [laughter]. >> And man, [snorts] nobody's safe. >> If he gets LeBron, that's wild. >> Yeah, that would be. >> That's just what I. >> Nate's looking it up right now cuz Nate. loves LeBron. >> LeBron is really. >> LeBron might be the zest lord. He might. be the zest lord. >> I I used to hate LeBron, but now he's. he's too undeniable.

>> He's. >> That happens. >> Yeah. >> I used to hate Tom Brady and then. it gets to a point where you're like, "Well, this is awesome.". >> He's kind of the best at it for real for. real for you. >> He and if you hate greatness. >> you're just a hater. >> Matt, please read the highlighted lines. verbatim. >> And now it's time for this week in dog. history presented by Aura Frames. So, they got a little thing here. This is. nice. You know, some memories are just. waiting to make you laugh years later. >> Oh, yeah. >> That's exactly what Aura Frames. [clears throat] do. >> Uh-huh. >> They take the moments that matter and.

turn them into something. you can actually see every day. >> Oh, yeah. And you know what's. And you know what's overflown with. hilarious moments waiting to be. revisited? This podcast. So, let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we? >> What's the strangest recording setup. we've ever had? >> Man, oh. Remember that one? >> What's the strangest recording setup. you've ever had? >> The one that had like a buzz in it? That. was so crazy. >> Oh. >> Um a wild moment that becomes a story. you'll always tell.

>> What's a wild moment? >> Remember my wife came to laser tag and. she was mad at me on the podcast. >> I love telling that story. >> I always tell that story. >> What's happening in the photo? That is. the photo is just two good friends at a. golf event. >> Yeah, we were out and we took a picture. together. >> Um. >> I was a little boy. I took a picture of my two heroes. >> No, they yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Was there [clears throat] something. totally off the rails happening behind. the scenes? >> Of what is that? >> Of that photo? >> You wouldn't believe what was going. [laughter] on behind the scenes of that.

photo. It's not even public. >> Guys, moments like these, funny, chaotic, or just plain weird, are. exactly what Aura frames are built for. >> Mhm, this is exactly what they're built. for. >> Unlimited photo and video storage, preloaded messages, effortless sharing. It's how your memories become something. everyone can enjoy. Save on Save on the gifts Mom love by. heading to auraframes.com, and for a limited time, get $25 off the.

best-selling Carver Matt frame with code. MSSP. Support the show by mentioning us at. checkout. Terms and conditions apply. >> Thank you, Aura. >> Dude, I went down to Pat Tillman hole. the other day. >> 53 and LeBron? >> The Rock's. Bro, it was all You know he. he got an offer to leave the Cardinals. before he. uh signed up to be in the military. And they're going to pay him like a. bunch of money. Whoever had won the. Super Bowl, I guess like after the first. year he played, was like, "Yo, we're. going to give you a ton of money. Come. to our team, like championship team. Might do it again." What did What did.

Tillman do? Nah, bro. Cardinals picked me. I was low. I was low round in the draft. They took. a chance on me. I'm staying with the. Cardinals. Went to war. It was It was an He was. such a beast. They offered to get him. out of the military. He did 1-year tour. and they're like, "Yo, man, we like set. it up with the government. You're free. to come home now." He goes, "Bro, that's. a slap in my face you'd even. offer me that.". Such an animal. Dude, he's the. man. Didn't they Didn't they friendly. fire him? Yeah, friendly fired. And. there was There was a. what was it? An Afghani soldier. that apparently like loved him that like. ran up the hill with him cuz his his.

little brother was serving with him, too. So, his little brother is under. fire. So, he like ran up the hill. And. then Afghani soldier ran up as well. He. got killed. No one talked about that. guy. But yeah, he ran up there, too. He. got He got hit like a bunch of times. And apparently they invented a story. about a woman soldier getting raped. >> That's the statue. >> Cap Is that the statue? >> Well, that's the picture that they used. for the statue. Statue is tight. You ever see it? >> No. >> Did they put it in the. >> Tillman rules. >> Arizona? >> Yeah, I think so. >> It's really cool. >> Yeah, the Pat Tillman is a He is a fun. The Pat Tillman fund started because.

people just started sending all this. money to the Arizona Cardinals being. like, "This is for Pat Tillman.". >> [laughter]. >> And they got like a million bucks, and. they called his family like, "Yo, we. have a million dollars for you guys. What the should we do with this?". >> Yeah. >> He's like, "Well, just set up the fund.". They send like soldiers to school or. like the master's degrees and stuff. >> It's cool. >> Yeah, Pat Tillman, true American hero. >> Yeah. >> I interviewed Jon Krakauer recently. >> That's right. >> And I got He wrote a book on Tillman. >> Oh, did he, really? >> Yeah, we got to talk Tillman. >> Speaking of another. >> Hello. Yo. >> Yeah, dude. Yo, that's Tillman.

sick. >> Legend. >> Man, it's cool. >> It's an absolute legend. Yeah, dude, I. interviewed Jon Krakauer like 2 days. ago. He has So, he climbed Mount. Everest, and like there was a disaster. All these guys died. He survived, wrote. a book, and it's like a a huge book. And uh. Dude, he has a guy on his ass. There's a. YouTuber, anti-Jon Krakauer YouTuber, which is like, "Dude, climbs Everest. What's your beef?" This guy's like, he. There's all these different faces of. Everest. This other guy climbed a. different face of Everest. And he's just going through all of.

Krakauer's book being like, "Cap. Cap. None of this happened." But like, and. the dude like is blowing up. Krakauer. had to fire back about it. Dude, I was I. was telling him, I'm like, "Dude, I know. this guy's like. really a pain in your ass, but there was. nothing that delighted me more than to. see you have a nasty [laughter]. YouTuber. I just never would expect to see that. You having a guy being like, "Bullshit. That The The Sherpas don't drop rope. lines on that pass in the mountains.". What? [laughter]. Dude, get out of here. >> I know. I guess it's just like every. every creative or any pursuit just has a.

guy now. >> Yeah. >> who goes on YouTube and is annoying. >> Cuz his book did so well that another. climber wrote a book after that and just. had to kind of be like, "Yo, him. He's [laughter] bullshit.". It's so funny. >> What was his book called? >> He did Into the Wild. That was the guy. who just like walked off and died in the. wild. Then there's Into Thin Air. That. was the Everest one. >> got both of those. >> Do you really? >> Yeah. >> Dude, he's he rules. He did the Pat. Tillman book, Where Men Get Glory. And. then he did he did a book about Yeah, it's pretty tight. He did a.

did a book about Mormons, like. polygamous. militant Mormons. So, yeah. >> That's cool. >> Yeah, he's a dude. He's a man. He's. retired now. He's no more. He just lives. in Boulder. Stays at altitude. I'm so. I'm so jealous of people at altitudes. >> Dude, it's. >> Really? >> I'll work out whenever I'm in like if I. go to like Denver anywhere like that's. like 5,000 ft. I do like one workout and. I come back and I'm like, "Dude, I'm. definitely altered. This is crazy.". >> Oh, [laughter] yeah. You feel Yeah. >> It's funny. >> Dude, I have like five beers and I go, "Whoa.". "Holy I'm wasted. Altitude's.

nuts.". >> Dude, I would be nasty when I get back. >> home and get dry skin and a bloody nose. >> [laughter]. >> And I go, "This sucks. I'm dying. My. body's dying here.". >> Dude, I'm like a snake. It I my skin. just cracks when I go up there. It's. crazy. But yeah, I didn't know when you. climb Everest. so you go to base camp for 2 weeks, you. acclimate. I thought you just like roll. up and climb the mountain. No, you climb a little bit, come back down, climb a little more, come back. So, you're like constantly getting. acclimated to higher and higher parts. The first phase of Everest that you. climb from where he did is just a giant. sheet of ice that slowly can shift and.

start moving. And every now and again. it'll just stand up and just I can just. like the size of a house just squash. you. He was the 600th person to climb I'm. just giving away the whole thing but he. was the 600th person to climb Everest or. like 637. He It was so scary. It was. like so up. He like wrote that. book hoping to scare people away from. trying to do it. 30 years later, guess. how many people have climbed Mount. Everest? How many? >> Dude, like 25,000 people. >> Yeah. >> His book did the opposite. Everyone was. like, "Dude, I He says he goes to. signings, people look at him and go,

"You climbed Everest? I could do that." I've seen. >> Damn. >> I I just watched a documentary on it. And there's just a line of people. climbing like hundreds of people in it. Yeah. >> But if one of those glacial kind of. deposit things falls, now that it's so. crowded, it's just going to squash like. 40 people at once. Yeah. Yeah, he said now the Sherpas are like, "Dude, this is the best thing that ever. happened.". >> Oh yeah, they probably get paid. >> of dudes just going up there. >> Make a ton of money. >> Yeah. >> Selfie wall at the Mount Everest. >> There it is. I watched a Chinese guy.

fall off recently. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, really? >> Slid right off taking a selfie. >> Yeah, well, people still die, dude. Like. a lot of people still die climbing. Everest. >> [laughter]. >> Slowly slid off. Everyone just watches. him slide away. >> Dude, you're done. >> Oh, >> You're toast. >> Yeah. >> And if you don't get those You need. those oxygen tanks. You get up super. high and and if like if you're out of. tanks, you just suffocate. >> Talk about What's the What's What do. they get? It's like uh It's like the. altitude and hypothermia where you get. like hallucinations. >> No, I didn't know about that. >> Yeah, they see things before they die.

Yeah, it's like you're dying. I forget. what it's called. >> Is it the black Is it the black dog, is. it? >> Maybe. >> Dang, that's crazy. That's pretty tight. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, I got the That was I also learned. I've been reading about Gold Rush. Colorado. You know there was a big. cannibal or There was Yeah, that's how. you say cannibal. I don't know why I was. like There's a There was a like a. prolific cannibal that like haunted the. the hills in Colorado for a while. He. was munching, dude. Munching steadily. >> That's wild. >> That was pretty crazy. I had no idea.

>> So many deer and wildlife there. >> No, he just He got a taste. >> the people. >> Yeah, he wanted the people. He wanted. those gold miners, dude. He was munching. them. >> Yeah. >> For like a while. He was in the hills. outside of Pikes Peak. And everyone was. like, "Bro, I'm pretty sure my wife got. munched.". >> Ew, that I mean, this is crazy. I've. never heard of this guy. >> Yeah, yeah, it Look up uh. >> How many did he munch? Look up Colorado. cannibal. I think it was like the 1700s. >> Was he. uh. >> It's like the Leadville silver boom, I. believe. >> [laughter]. >> Sounds like a name from that era, too. >> His name was like William something, but.

yeah, he was munching. Alfred, okay. >> Alfred Griner. Did he Did he just like. >> that's who it was. >> Alfred Packer. Did he just like turn. into a cannibal someday or was he like. >> I just like I never fully got into his. thing yet, but he uh he was munching. >> That is like a funny. >> say he got? Maybe it's unknown. >> [snorts]. >> Yeah, he was he was munching. Down the Dude, Colorado is crazy, dude. >> like he might have had the munch. >> He had the munch? >> Looks like a little uh. >> Oh. >> I could be getting some Colorado.

folklore. He got five. >> Oh my god. Five. He came back that. [laughter]. >> Oh, so he had the munch cuz he was on. the loose. I feel like they had to like. catch him at some point. And munched. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, he So he was up there hiding and. there was a snowstorm and he caught some. guys that were stuck in it. >> And he munched. >> "Boys, I'm hungry.". >> Oh my god. >> Yes. >> Oh, boy, you know what time it is. It's. time for the help with the butter.

>> [laughter]. >> This episode is brought to you by Better. Help. >> Oh, you butter the help with the butter. >> One thing that's been keeping me up at. night. >> Hm, what's been keeping you up at night, Matt? >> What's been keeping me up at night? I I. nothing, honestly. I sleep like a. brick, but. I do. I pass out in a second. >> Why are you worried about it? >> Well, >> [laughter]. >> you know what's keeping me up at night? My lack of deep sleep. I don't get a lot. of deep sleep. But, you know, I don't know. I don't. know. Other than that, um. my kids keep me up or when I have to.

pee, I lay down in bed sometimes and I. think of really funny cool jokes and. then I don't write them down and I wake. up again. >> Yeah. >> Then that keeps me up the next night. But guys, newsflash, nobody has all the. answers, okay? And since this, I don't. know if you knew this, it's mental. health awareness month. >> Oh, nice. >> It's the perfect time to remind you that. you don't have to tackle your problems. alone. >> No. >> Match with a therapist from BetterHelp. and get the help you need to navigate. stress, anxiety, burnout, and more. They.

have an industry-leading match. fulfillment rate. You just need to. answer a few questions, then they'll. tailor a list of professional therapists. you can connect with. >> like that. Matt, you don't have to be on. this journey alone, okay? You need to. find support and have someone with you. in therapy. Matt, I want you in therapy. Now, [laughter] sign up and get 10% off. at betterhelp.com/mssp. That's betterhelp.com/mssp. That's better help, the help with the.

better. >> Uh 5/16, guys, Riviera Theatre, Chicago, Illinois. I will be there May 16th. I. will be there. Get there. That'll be. really nice. I don't know if there's. There's a lot of tickets left, guys. Just being serious. And I have a bunch. of new dates coming out pretty soon that. I'll announce, so pretty stoked. I know. I'll be in Miami. >> Ooh. >> the Miami 10s will be there, so. >> D Aces. Uh May 4th, I'll be at the Hollywood. Bowl in LA. Please come to that. I've. got very good special guests on that.

Uh May 7th, 8th, and 9th, I'm at TD. Garden in Boston, unless the damn. Celtics. We'll see. >> Uh come on, Sixers. >> Come on, Sixers, do this so I can have. my shows. Uh and then, yeah, the. Uh July 17th. at the link, please. Please come. That one's going to be crazy, so even if. you think I suck, you should go to that. >> Yeah, those Colorado towns, dude, they. were crazy cuz like there'd be a town of. like 100 people, and then they'd be.

like, "Yo, there's gold in the hills.". And then instantly the town would turn. into 100,000 people. >> Yeah, it's. >> And no one really got a lot of gold from. the gold rush. And it would just turn into like the. worst place ever. Everyone was just. disappointed and pissed. >> And crowded on each other. >> well, >> At altitude, too. So, they're all. getting hammered again. Like, "What the. fuck?". >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> What What the. place is all this whiskey. >> Just not looking for gold and you just. want to attack people and eat them. >> Yeah. >> True. >> god. Oh, this Yeah, all. >> They were also mean to the engines in.

Colorado. They did some bad stuff. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. I mean, they're the dumbest guys. on earth. >> That's showed up. >> Yeah. >> Sand Creek I think Sand Creek was like. it was just women and children. This. guy's famous thing was cuz they were. like There's like there's not even. braves who checked it out. It's all. women and children. And the one dude. goes, "Nits make lice. We got to take. them out." And they just went and just. murdered the children. >> Oh my god. >> They ran for office, I think. >> [laughter]. >> Brutal. Brutal stuff. It's about I'm really tapping everything. I've read about in the last three years. >> It's good. I like that. I.

>> But yeah, silver silver boom, gold boom, Colorado stuff. You know, I've never. really thought about it. And that was I. was I was reading about that. Pretty. sick. >> Isn't that like the same era as like the. Deadwood TV show? Like people just like. moving out west to the. >> be. It's like the 1840s and. >> Yeah, it's pre I think it was pre-Civil. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Pre-Civil. What are the 49ers? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Oh, there we go. Hey now. >> good way to remember it. >> I like that. 49ers. There we go. >> Yeah, that's the 49ers. >> you guys do in in that era like if you. were alive like for a profession?

>> God-fearing farmer. >> What's that? Farmer? >> God-fearing farmer. Yeah. >> I'd be a god-fearing farmer. >> [laughter]. >> Called it. >> No, I don't know. God knows, man. would suck. >> It looks terrible. >> factory. >> Yeah. I would be the Indian guy. >> Coast shitty factory. >> Sharpen the. >> Yeah. >> Or talking about if you packed up and. moved out there for that gold. >> Out west? >> Yeah, general I could see you having a. nice general store. >> Now you're talking like I'm Grant. >> Proprietor. >> No, you're saying I'm Ulysses. And I.

understand. I would work the front desk. and then the war break out and I'd go. God calls me to lead this army. >> [laughter]. >> All these other guys are being. dude. I was getting wasted working out. of general store. It's time to. get wasted on the battlefield. >> [laughter]. >> The the allegation that he was wasted at. Shiloh was great. So tired. He woke up. late to the battle cuz he was drunk as. >> It's funny. Oh, The war's due. today. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, They're here. They're like, "Sir, we need to retreat.".

They're like, "Fuck that, dude. We're. going to kill these pussies.". >> Everyone died. He's angry and has a hot. face. that. >> It's the scariest guy. >> Dude, that tornado documentary you. showed me is a tough one. Dude, that guy. waking up with a hang vicious hangover. and being like, "Dude, I think there's a. tornado. We should go check it out.". >> Hangover getting hit with an F5. >> [laughter]. >> You hear the audio the whole time. He's. like, "Huh? Fuck." Also, everyone in. that town gets interviewed and it was.

like, "I was ready to go. I was ready to. go.". >> It's very they just interview everyone's. just kind of a weird Christian. So, they. all come off as very homosexual. >> Well, the one guy is. He's. >> And then one guy, yeah. At least one. >> Yeah, the one guy the one guy being. like, [laughter] "At one point I was. ready. I let go cuz I thought it was the. rapture." And then like since he didn't. get sucked up in the hurricane, he goes, "That's cuz I'm gay, isn't it?". >> [laughter]. >> And he went home, but he luckily his. parents were still alive cuz his parents. got sucked up. He would've been like, "Oh, yeah. Okay, that wasn't the.

rapture. I got left behind in the. [laughter] wasteland.". Dude, it's so funny to be a fat gay guy. being like, "Take me.". >> I know. [clears throat] It's like, "Damn, I was I was. >> Your feet leave the ground like that. much and then you drop back down. You're. like, "God damn it.". Cuz he was young, so he probably. barely did that much gay stuff. >> No, but he knew. >> Yeah, yeah. >> He did a lot of gay stuff. He was making. YouTube videos with the other girls in. school. That's That's gayer than sex. with guys. >> Dude, the YouTube guy was different. >> Oh. >> That was a different bro. He got He. died. You mean the chubby YouTuber? >> No, not the YouTube guy.

>> Wait, he made YouTube's too? >> Not the cool YouTube guy. Yes, the. chubby YouTube the the gay man was. making YouTube videos. >> Got you. Got you. Got you. I didn't know. that. I did like the jock. He was just. like, "Yeah, this one girl came up to me. out of the wreckage." He was like, "Hey, what are you doing?" He's like, "I. didn't recognize her. I didn't know who. she was. She knew me, but I didn't.". >> [laughter]. >> It's like, "Dude, stop, man. Stop. chatting around, dude. You can't do it.". He's chatting in the rubble. You can't. chat in rubble. He was chatting in the. rubble. He was there rescuing people. There's like a babe from the school. He's like, "Yo, what's you?" And he was. like, "Yeah, I don't even know her, dude. Whatever.".

>> Oh, that used to be your house? Damn, that's crazy. >> [laughter]. >> That's like up. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, that documentary is terrifying. >> It's really scary and then there's like. the fungus thing that happens. afterwards. That's scary. >> you talking about? I forgot about the. fungus. >> That's That freaked me out. >> Yeah, and that like it kicked up out of. the ground. >> yeah. >> Eesh. >> And then it's like you get. you get sucked up. and then you're like, "Thank god I.

survived." And then the bacteria. almost kills you. >> Yeah, that's really up. >> Double whammy. >> Yeah, and it's it's like crazy. >> jerker, though. >> Bro, that got me. That got me. >> Thankfully thankfully I wasn't invested. in it this time. First time I watched it. I was sobbing at the end, dude. >> [laughter]. >> And then Obama comes on and you're like, "Damn, Obama.". >> That was a cool speech. >> It was such a good speech. >> Actually, I think I did this I think I. said this last time I I talked about. this, I think.

>> Really? But just comparing it to if. Trump was president during that and just. Yeah, had a big storm. Wow. [laughter]. You guys are great, though. >> All right, get him out of here. >> [laughter]. >> And we're doing a lot right now for the. economy. >> He'd just be like, "Yo, I'm killing it. right now." Someone say the economy is. an F5 right now. >> [laughter]. >> Damn, he's had some good ones lately, though. >> Has he fired back up? >> funny. >> Yeah. That's what he needs. >> was the one he had one recently? I'm. trying to remember it. >> Did you see the shooter? >> I did see the shooter.

>> Bro. [laughter]. He like made it again. His rings are. security man. That first ring is so bad. Got through. Shot the secret service guy. >> Did he shoot a guy? >> Yeah, he shot a secret service guy. The. guy had a armored vest on or whatever. >> Wow. >> He said he called it in his manifesto. >> Did he? >> Yeah, he said I'm going to use. like buckshot or or like and he was like. that way if they're wearing armor I. don't have to kill anyone. But he's like I'm trying not to kill. anyone. I'm just trying to kill Trump. >> Oh, okay. >> Yeah. >> So you would like you didn't hit him. with the like the sun gun all the way up. to Trump. >> Yeah, he was trying. Yeah.

>> Bring out the James Bond golden pistol. and psh. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, he had a golden gun. >> A separate gun. >> Yeah, he's going to PP7 everybody else. One shot PP7. >> Mhm. >> Golden gun. >> [laughter]. >> How do you Did you just like break in? >> He just Naruto'd right through. He literally sprinted through. >> Arms back, nerd run. >> Nerd run right through. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, that's. >> Hard to tell now. It's like that might. be like a high-ranking FBI official. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's exactly how they would all.

run. This entire administration would Naruto. >> What do you think about Kash getting in. trouble for drinking? >> What? >> Kash is under He's like under. investigation for how hard he's hitting. the bruskis. He's claiming he's not. hitting the bruskis. >> thing I support him on. >> [laughter]. >> Let the boy hit the bruskis. All Indian dudes want to do is have. bruskis with the bros. You saw how happy. he was in that hockey locker. >> He really was. >> It was literally the Indian dream. >> He's stressed. >> He's stressed. >> And honestly I I really I didn't like. all the like imagine how bad that sucks.

when he rolls up to that. It's like you. think they give a They just won. the Stanley Cup or the Olympics. >> Yeah. >> They're stoked and then you're. like holy there's Kash Patel. >> [laughter]. >> Ripping a shotgunning a beer. It's just awesome. >> Yeah. >> I remember not liking that footage of a. coverage of like. It's like, "Dude, he's doing one thing. cool. He doesn't have Every Not. everything has to be bad all the time.". >> Yeah, that's that's that's They struggle. with that. >> Yeah, it's like, "Dude, this this is. sick.". >> Do we admit the arch is sick that Trump. wants to build? >> What's the arch? >> He's trying to build a sick ass arch.

>> Dude, where where? >> Give us a arch. >> Where is it? >> On in in Washington. It's going to be. sick. Golden arch would be tight. It's. not golden, I don't think. >> McDonald's 24/7 actually like that. >> It's just a big M. >> [laughter]. >> I thought it was a sick ass arch, dude. >> [laughter]. >> Sick ass arch DC. >> [cough]. >> It It came up, obviously. >> That's awesome. >> Trump's victory arch. >> Let's go. Let's go. >> Well, he has to win first. >> Bro,

it would be tight. We stopped building. sick. >> Yeah, that's true. >> And they don't like it cuz it's Trump, dog, but. >> Is that just like a 3D rendering? >> Yeah. >> That actually looks cool. It's like um. >> Yeah, what's wrong with Washington. Square Park? >> Yes. I was I was thinking the St. Louis. thing. >> Oh. >> That's nicer. It's like. >> We should be like, "All right, if you if. you win If he wins Iran, you get the. arch. If he doesn't win, he gets the. loser arch." And they're going to put. him up there just going like. >> Yeah, that's going to be a. If he puts himself on the arch, I'm out.

But if the arch is just America's sick, yeah, I like it. >> That'd be tight. Well, he's going to. have His name's going to be somewhere on. there. >> Definitely. >> It's There's no way. >> There's no way his name's not on it. >> Yeah, he's going to put that on. there somewhere. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, but hopefully he puts everyone's. name. >> Or his Now there's like on the wall You. know like Abraham Lincoln has like the. Gettysburg Address? It'll be one of. Trump's speeches, just a snippet of. like, "She's a fat bitch.". >> [laughter]. >> "Fat shut up.". >> It'd be nice to have like you remember. the the LED belt buckles where it was. like [laughter] and it's like it just.

across the top. It's like all his top. insults. >> [gasps]. >> Yeah, I mean, I you know, I I I haven't. heard much about it. >> Biggy arch. [laughter]. Quiet biggy arch. >> Quiet biggy. Just him as like a cherubic kind of. Greek thing and like a pig lady and him. being like. It'd be kind of funny. >> [laughter]. >> The arch is sick. >> The arch does look sick as. >> Yeah, it does look nice. >> And I agree with you, we should start. building cool new statues. We do need. cool stuff. Yeah. But stuff was it's tough to agree now.

Back in the day it was like consensus. like yeah, throw up a cow. >> Yeah, throw up cool. >> Now it's like well, hold on. We should do one of the ladies [snorts]. that clean the mall and you're like. yeah, okay, but I'm cool. >> Throw up the ladies that clean the mall. statue. Awesome. All right. >> [laughter]. >> We're all stoked obviously. There they are. >> Yeah, that is statue of Sherman in. Central Park. I always go pay homage to. it. >> That's awesome. >> We need this. >> Yeah. We used to have cool. >> Yeah, it's it's so sick. >> That's tight. >> That is great. >> Some cities still have it. I I wish I.

knew more about like the the you know, symbology of like a horse's hooves and. two hooves are up if it's reared up and. what that means. I like that stuff. >> They tell you that at Gettysburg. >> Yeah. >> That's pretty exciting. But then there's. a couple statues that don't follow it. >> What? >> Yeah. >> Knock them down. >> I I agree. >> We're going to topple them. >> Yes. >> I'll be out there with the ropes. >> We're going to topple them. I'll bring. sandals. >> [laughter]. >> But yeah, that's I I mean yeah, again, who knows? I I keep I keep I'm getting. I'm being uh every news thing I see I.

get the new reality like we're entering. the new reality. We've lost the. horizontal warfare and it's kinetic. phase like dude, shut up. >> I got asked to invest in AI defense. >> Oh, yeah. >> No. >> No, no, no. >> I couldn't do it. >> Yeah, that would feel. >> I would have done it and then they blew. up that school of children and I was. like I can't ever. >> Yeah. >> You know how bad I'd feel if I was. sitting here in my tighties watching. westerns. >> [laughter]. >> And then it said breaking. we blew up another school. I got to. stop. >> I wonder if the AI interface is like.

>> bucks off that. >> [laughter]. >> When When blows up a school, the screen. is like oops, my bad. You're totally. right. That was a girl's school. Let's. recalibrate. Do you want me to blow up. something else?". >> [laughter]. >> And yeah, it's like Gwyneth Paltrow's. voice. >> Yeah, it's like, "So sorry. You're. exactly right on that. That was my. [laughter] bad.". >> Wow, I never considered it like that. >> [snorts]. >> Thought it was a bunch of dudes in. there. >> And then [laughter] and then when it. zooms in it's Flavor Flav and it's like,

"Damn.". >> Yeah, Bill Burr had a good bit online. about human shields. He's like, "They're. using the kids as human shields." He's. like, "Yeah, wait.". >> Yeah. >> It's like if I want to beat up my. neighbor who's holding his baby, it's. like, you know, I got to wait till he's. on the grass so I can like flip him. down, the baby bounces. >> [laughter]. >> So, I'm just going to blast through the. baby's head to hit my neighbor. First back, he came back, dude. Hard. comeback. He's back. He's 100% full. strength.

>> Great. >> I keep waiting for that Riyadh to bag. now. It's going to be huge. >> Dude, wartime Riyadh. >> Riyadh? No, I didn't get offered, but. I'm saying wartime. >> Oh. >> It's got to be they It's got to be 3x. Riyadh. [laughter]. I don't know what the is going on. >> Oh, that's true. Like for the for the. next year. They're going to keep going. it. >> Next year's Riyadh, mid war, bro. >> That is Yeah, there's like there's like. a hazard pay bonus. >> Hacksawed if I go over there, [laughter]. dude. >> They're going to need to break out the. big saw. >> Yeah, this guy is huge.

>> [laughter]. >> I'm not going. >> Yeah, I'm curious who does. Some people. go. People already went will go back cuz. they already withstood the storm. >> Yeah. >> But yeah, mid war is crazy, dude. >> wild one. >> Mid war will be nuts. >> That's like but then you get to feel. like 50 Cent performing in Iraq during, you know, >> Yeah, that's for the boys. >> Yeah, well, that's what I mean. It's. like they'll people who go will be like, "Yeah, it's pretty crazy over there.". It's like you're not. you're not 50. >> I'm going to do it I would do a thing.

where I would go like, "I'm going to. perform for the troops." but then go to. the US government and like yo you got a. match for your odds payback if you want. me to. >> [laughter]. >> That's. >> Guys you guys have a 7 trillion dollar. budget. You guys can pay me 2 million. dollars. Stop complaining, all right? You'd be fine. You'd be fine. >> That'd be [laughter] that's actually a. good idea. >> Yeah. >> They might They might do it. >> Yeah, they would do it. Dude I have a. there was a I know somebody who does. like technology sales and they said when. they. deal with them like the military. >> Yeah. >> there's some weird thing where like. they'll order the wrong thing but if. it's on a military base they have to.

destroy it no matter what. So it'd be. like millions of dollars of like. computer equipment. >> Uh-huh. >> and since instead of just returning it. so it can be reused they're like we have. to destroy this now. We order. It's. pretty crazy. >> And it's. >> Like nothing. They'll be like dude. whatever. It is what it is. This is this. is protocol. >> Yeah, it can't it can't get in the wrong. hands. >> They take it out back and just office. space it. >> [laughter]. >> They pay the Indian guys. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. They go we're going to stop them. Yeah. >> Yeah dude and that that and the. Madagascar thing you're just living next. to a river of Literally a river of.

sewage. >> Yeah, there's. >> And every day it's rising. You're like. yeah it's going to be my Please. fix it. >> I know. >> That bothered me so much. >> Yeah, that's. >> Don't do anything else. >> No soccer today fellas. >> [laughter]. >> Sandbag day. We're gathering sandbags to. put along the river. >> [laughter]. >> And we're doing that every day until. somebody starts digging a trench. somewhere. >> Yeah, that would also like bother cuz. it's like. like 10 feet there's a fence and then. there's really nice houses. >> Yeah, I saw that.

>> They're going to start. >> Yeah, they're going through that fence. >> Yeah. >> So there was after my third. summer of the flood. >> [laughter]. >> I got and no one's helping with. plumbing. >> Yeah. >> It's time to go over the wall. >> Yeah, it's like there's like a. >> Yeah. >> like a Chinese diplomat and his wife. It's like I'm going to go eat them. >> [laughter]. >> Like I'm pissed off. >> [laughter]. >> It's time [snorts] to fight. Yeah that. that it'll be time to uh. infiltrate this do your thing. At least.

get in the pool. >> True. >> [laughter]. >> Just washing off the At least go. pool hopping at night. >> Get shot. >> Yeah. >> Can I just Can I just wash the off. my family, please? That's all I'm trying. to My family's covered in right. now. And you have a pool and I'd like to just. wash the off me. The chlorine will. actually kill the They just need. to chlorinate that river. There you go. >> Oh, yes. >> Damn, chlorine bombers. That would help. >> And then the skimmer. >> bit. Skimmer, yeah. >> Skim the Skim the turds, anything. chunky? >> [laughter]. >> That's a lot of gators though in there. >> That's a gator pool, dude.

>> And once monsoon season comes. >> the gators get loose. >> Superdome. >> [laughter]. >> Gators. >> Yeah, that that was India was pretty. nuts looking. Madagascar was not as bad. India took the cake. That was Just dudes. in like little like tiny courtyards just. grinding up plastic. >> There's just not a free. inch of. >> No. >> It's everything is used. >> Yeah. >> Noble, but too crowded for me.

>> No, the the dude, the to-go hot curry. plastic bags. >> Oh, I forgot about [laughter] that. >> That me up, dude. There's just 40. bags on the floor. Just It's just like they're ghost. kitchens over there. >> Yeah, [laughter] true. >> Just 40 bags of steaming hot. curry sitting in a plastic thing. Yeah. >> a plastic bag and then it's like soup. It's like the hottest soup you've ever. >> [laughter]. >> And they just pour it in and. >> And that was a good job. >> Yeah. >> Of the jobs we saw, the guy sitting. >> Indian style. >> Yeah, true. >> [laughter].

>> I am jealous when I see them how they. can just chill on a floor like that. I'm. like, "Damn, I can never do My hip. flexors are way too tight.". >> Mhm. >> My hip flexors are purely western from. sitting in chairs. >> Yeah. >> I like that. >> Yeah, it's nice to know to be like I'm. not meant for I'm supposed to be sitting. in a chair, man. >> Yeah, I'm supposed to be sitting in a. chair. civilized. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> It's It's an officer's pose. >> Matt. >> Sorry. >> Matt. >> Sorry. >> How dare you? >> If you get if. >> I I'm the only one I know that wants to. go to India. I want to go. >> Yeah, while we were watching Matt, I was.

like, "I want to go to India.". >> to go to India so bad. >> I think you'd like it spiritually. >> Yeah, well, I think it'd be sick. It's. supposed to be sick. >> that spirituality would get the out. the window when it was [laughter] 150. degrees. >> Yeah, I I've heard I have heard people. have gone there and it's like I knew a. woman who went there and she said it was. like, "I was scared.". >> Yeah. >> Her friends got off and a dude will just. like grab you and be like, "Come here.". And you're like, "Get off me.". >> Yeah. >> They'll like bully you to stay in a. certain hotel and they'll be like, "Where are you going?" Like they don't. want you to leave. It's up. >> Yeah, I don't like that. >> It's really, really yeah, you get you. get uh then the bros come. >> Mhm. >> There's bro There was one time there was.

a the bro I think I've talked about this. before, but the the person I knew was. there with her friend. And uh she said they were they were like. looking at a thing and the tour guide. was like, "We have to go right now." And. there was just a dude a pack of dudes in. business casual like semi-unbuttoned. shirts and they're like, "Yo, we have to. leave. These guys are going to rape you. We have to leave.". >> [laughter]. >> So, I got but I don't think I'll let the. bros get me. You need a club, dude. >> Yeah. >> They might be clubbed up, too, though. >> They definitely have clubs. >> Let me tell you something. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> How come you club.

>> Damn. >> Yeah, I remember being like, "Damn, that. sucks.". >> Middle management meeting coming this. way. >> Middle management. >> [laughter]. >> It's all the guys from the office. >> I mean, if you get done grinding plastic. for 12 hours. >> That's true, and then you see. >> Some white here on a. spiritual journey, you go. >> [laughter]. >> You're going to pay too. You're going to pay for your choices. >> [laughter]. >> You've been sitting like a. catcher for 12 hours, dude.

>> [laughter]. >> Separating plastics into a wood. chipper. >> Yeah. Taking apart like six engines. >> killing it on Tik Tok and uh. >> Yeah. >> And you and bros are coming up with good. >> Yeah. >> I like that guy. >> They are very funny. >> Yeah, we should acknowledge third world. privilege. Your videos kind of slap. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> If you're third world you get a. smartphone, everyone's like let me see I. need to see what the hell's going on. right now. >> True. >> It's pretty tight. It [snorts] is crazy those villages that. go from like no electricity to. smartphones.

>> I know. >> It's just like yo here's that would be. dude looking through a screen at like. an upper middle class suburb in New. Jersey from the third world you might be. you must be like dude what the. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What the is that? It's like it's. got to be crazy. >> It probably feels like a hallucination. >> Yeah, it really does. >> That's like. >> Wait, where's your river? >> Yeah, exactly. [laughter]. >> You don't have a rivers? >> Yeah. >> Our river runs underground. >> It's like you get an ad with like a. woman in it and then it's just. immediately it's like come here. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, I need you here. Where are you?

>> Yeah, [laughter] now come. >> Yeah, I it's hard to fight that reserve. as a a westerner. >> I know. >> Yeah, you understand the technology. already. >> Yes. >> It'd be I'd be. >> If I just got Instagram and was looking. at girls pictures I'd be like come. >> Yeah. >> Take your shirt off. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, take your shirt off please. >> I think a bird in a mirror I'd be like. >> Let's be in. >> [laughter]. >> There's like a couple guys that I I used. to do open mics with that are like.

they're just American guys but they're. like. they've just lost it and they're just on. Twitter where it's just women being like. you know, here's a workout thing and. just good morning, hi. There's one where it's like I I took a. picture of it. There's a lady. it's like you're trying to this. thick with a little dick and then. he was like good morning, hi it's me. I. just [laughter] want. >> [gasps]. >> He just used to I don't know yeah, >> [laughter].

>> good morning. >> My algorithms yeah, I'm getting the hot. babes again. >> Yeah. >> And I'm getting so good I mean it's like. geoguesser. I'm good I can see the. >> [laughter]. >> I I see the background of a hot chick's. picture and be like, "She's in the Gold. Coast, Australia.". >> What? [laughter]. >> That's why my British. Ooh, Nashville. >> [laughter]. >> I mean, they're only in five spots. >> Yeah. >> So, Miami, Nashville, LA, >> [laughter]. >> Australia, and uh what was the other one. I just said? England's tossing some in.

>> Nash- Yeah, England Yeah, they can toss. some babes out. Very classical babes. London's like a fashion capital, too, so. >> Mhm. >> Yeah, New York New York babes out. That's where. >> Yeah. >> They all put out. >> they're more like they're more stylish. >> Yeah, true. >> I'm talking about the. >> I got hit with a super stylish babe. >> Miami 10s, Nashville 10s. >> Bro. >> Australia 10s. >> Australia 10s are wild. I had a super. stylish babe get into my elevator today. I just I Dude, for real, like. crazy pointy super shoes, weird tight. but loose dress pants, smelled like.

absolute heaven. >> Yeah. >> in, I just looked at the floor. I. literally looked at the floor. I just. went. >> I know. >> It's all you can do. >> It was real. I just went, "Excuse me. I'm sorry.". I just I'll just get my floor here for. you. >> got in the elevator? >> Huh? >> Were you dirty when that happened? Were. you still. >> looked like this. I was covered in dirt. I was She walked in, I was like. >> [laughter]. >> You literally were a peasant. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> In the fields. Didn't even Usually Usually I'm like. pretty You know, you guys see me work on.

the elevator. I'm usually just I can't. help. I'll rizz up. I'm rizzing nonstop. >> to chat in the elevator. >> I'm happy to chat in the elevator. >> Yeah. >> You're a dog. It was When it's just me. me and a person, I was just dirty in the. elevator, and I just went. not even going to try to rizz you up at. all. >> Yeah. >> I didn't sound like I just you know, I. chat. I chat I'm not I'm not I'm not a. jackass. Of course. I'm just you know, you got to. >> I'm not a jackass? >> No, I'm not I'm saying I'm not a. jackass. >> I was like, "Yeah, hell yeah. That's. good. No, I like that." I was like, "Being a jackass talking to girls in the. elevator." I'm just saying. >> saw These guys saw the The lady was.

rizzing me up a little bit in the. elevator. >> Whoa. >> Were you there? I don't know if If were. there. The mayor was there. Yeah. I have a couple I have elevator. buddies. I have a couple of elevator. buddies I see all the time. >> What elevators are you guys on? >> It's in my my office apartment. >> Oh, okay. >> So when we do the podcast there, I'll. bring the team I'll bring the team. there. My elevator buddies see my team. >> Yes. >> So I chat me up. >> That's true, yeah. >> Oh god, yeah, they probably yeah. Lord knows what you're doing. >> I know.

We just scream and shout and carry on. >> off, man. >> Maybe, they could. [laughter] I I. thought about it before. >> They might like and subscribe. >> time we we have the cams in my elevator. with my elevator buddies, call me. Anaconda. Yes, sir. >> [laughter]. >> Yo, Anaconda, where do we go to get some. Yeah, yeah, chill, chill, chill. I'm. with my elevator buddies so don't. it up. >> [laughter]. >> Mr. Anaconda. >> Anaconda squares. Yeah, usually you can race with the best. of them in the elevator, but this I was. so dirty and this lady just came on and.

she was like mean, too. She came on a. mean face and I was like I'm just going. to look at you. >> A lot of those fashion babes are mean. >> Yeah, she was a mean babe, dude. Very. pointy, sharp features. I went nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Nope, nope, nope. My Florence Pugh life, you are not. not my squad. >> Yeah. >> Septum pierced babes, not my squad. either. We rarely get along. >> I agree. >> Rarely, dude. >> I only really run into them at. while they're bartending. >> Yeah. >> And they're the meanest. >> Yeah, dude, they're mean as. hell. Mean as hell that you already know.

they're going to be like that's it's. like all right, bro. Take that out of your ear. >> [laughter]. >> Pick a side. Pick a side, dude. What the What in the is this? Take. it out. Take it out right now. Pissing me off. I know you can complain on TikTok or. whatever. That's all you but you get. that and you're like yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up. A lot of bartenders film their. shifts now, you know that? They film them and they time lapse them. It's a big thing. >> Damn. >> Day in the life and it's just like. >> [laughter]. >> It's It's me the whole time.

>> Yeah, yeah. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Do they? >> That's crazy. >> Yeah, you were telling me that. >> I can't live stream at a bar. It's not fair. >> Yeah. >> It's supposed to be a safe haven for. saying stuff. >> You would think. >> Yeah, for real. >> You're supposed to say the worst things. there. >> I would like. >> Speaking of, dude, I get. guys saying when they're wrongfully. caught saying the wrong things. This. Donald Sterling thing has been making me.

laugh. >> [laughter]. >> What happened? >> It's just an old. thing he said during his a deposition. Uh well, whatever. I'll try to find but. he's like. when when when a beautiful woman hits on. me and sucks on me and I it lets me know. she cares about me and the limo driver. and I get in a limo and she gets naked. and starts sucking my toes and sucking. on me and I say thank you for making me. feel good. And they get then the next. line in the deposition is like, the. question was is that your handwriting? >> [laughter].

>> Pretty classic, dude. >> That's awesome. >> He was going, dude, I like to get sucked. in limos. >> Sucking on me. >> On my I get sucked in a limo on the way. to Mr. Coon's house. >> That's what he said. >> It's Mr. Coon's house he's going to. >> What was he in a deposition for? >> Probably getting caught saying the. N-word. >> Uh. >> I don't even think he said the N-word. He just said don't He didn't even say. the N-word, dude. >> He didn't want his lady. >> him. >> posting pic Yeah, that's what it was. He. said don't post pictures with her. >> As fellas. >> I look I. >> Fellas.

>> I never said that I never said nothing. was wrong with it. >> Say he's innocent. >> I've been I've been I [laughter]. I said that when I was a kid. I was like. he. he said I was I was trying I was like. she she's taking pictures with other. with other dudes. Like that's a no. that's a no-go. >> Yeah. And they're basketball players. >> And it's court side that without him. >> Yeah. >> He's like, look, you can take them to. the games. I don't care if you hang out. with them. Stop posting. pictures. >> I think he even said I don't care if you. them. I think he was like, I don't. even care if you have sex with them. Just stop posting pictures. >> his balls broken, dude. >> Yeah, he's like. >> your wife saying I'm Mr. Anaconda again. again.". >> [laughter].

>> Every day. Posting a picture of Mr. Anaconda. >> like a 70-year-old white guy, it does. kind of suck if your wife's constantly. taking pictures with giant black guys. He's getting ribbed. That's the thing. He's like, "I'm getting ribbed.". >> Mhm. >> Yeah. Stop. >> So, yeah yeah everywhere I turn, people. are like I get out of the limo with Mr. South. It's like. >> Your wife is. >> Yeah. >> Your wife. >> was just getting his feet and donk. sucked in the limo. >> True. That's true. >> he also bothered him too. Where everyone. was like, "You're a cock." And. he's like, "Bro, I'm getting so much. pussy.". >> so much What are you talking about? >> I'm cocking her.

>> [laughter]. >> So, stop talking to me like that. It's also funny cuz you know he like. really he was like, "All right, I got to. broach this sensitive subject. How do I. broach it?" So, he's probably practicing. in the limo. He's getting like his feet. sucked. He's like, "I'll be like, I. don't have anything against black guys. Just. chill with the pics, all right?". >> [laughter]. >> It's a weird look for me. How do you. think Put yourself in my shoes. >> Yeah. Did he Did he ever go to the games? Or. did he just like. >> sure. >> He just owned the team. >> Right. Sold outside. Sucked Sucked in the limo on the way to. my games.

>> Yeah, he's like yeah, the Clippers. weren't very good. >> I got I've been saying it. You got to. bring limos back. Nobody rides in limos. anymore. >> I know. It's It It is like uh. >> Nobody does. >> just talking with somebody about it. Yeah, they they look like silly now to. people. >> dude. >> They're funny. >> a 30-ft car. >> They're so funny. >> What? Limos? >> Limos, yes. >> But you could get them. It'd be sick to. bring them back. >> I know. >> Just chill in the limo, phone in the. limo. >> I need a new car. I might get a. >> and just a limo and drive. >> drive. >> [laughter]. >> Just try to parallel park.

>> The stretch. He's pulling a stretch. Hummer into a Whole Foods. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, he said worse things than he. thought? >> Oh, no. >> What else? Hold on, let's go over it. Cuz I thought the gist of it was like, "Come on, chill.". >> That's what I thought it was, too. It starts with. >> Uh don't bring black people and don't. come to my games, he told her. It was. one of them cuz she recorded all. >> She did sneak That's the part that. bothered me. >> also a little annoying. >> She sneaky recorded him in his house, which is that's not fair. But, it also. says it bothers me that you want to. promote broadcasters that you're.

associating with black people. Which that was a that was that was kind. of rough. I didn't know he. >> [laughter]. >> All right, never mind. >> Yeah, hold on. >> Let's go ahead and take that one back a. little bit. >> Uh. I support them and get them food and. clothes and cars and houses. >> Who I I guess he's talking about owning. and like the. >> goofing? Cuz sometimes sometimes white. fellas we say goofing things. >> If I if I remember right, his tone in. this wasn't never a goof. It was kind of. a pleading tone, like come on, babe. If. I remember hearing the audio. >> [laughter]. >> So, he probably was like it he probably. be genuine like.

>> But, how old was he? >> Uh how old was he? >> Yeah, I think he's like 80 at the time. >> or 80. >> It's so funny. It's so funny to own the. team. You know what I mean? You own it it's. like you just own the team. >> a bad job to have for what he was. saying. >> Yeah, he owned the team. >> still alive? >> Yes, he's 92. He's still alive. >> was he was basically telling his wife. like you don't get high off your own. supply. >> [laughter]. >> Also, you own the team. It's like bro, don't be. >> No, he was courtside. He was at the.

game. Don't be you know. Don't have him. weak in the knees. >> That's true. >> Damn, and he had a. I think I mean she's something. >> Oh, yeah. She's uh Visteviano. >> Yeah. >> She's um. actually don't know. But, she's not a. she's not a white lady. >> Yeah, he like upgraded to. >> Yo, he he had the supermodel. >> Yeah, I mean if you have the supermodel, you got to let your supermodel just do. supermodel stuff, dude. You can't be. like hey.

>> It Yeah, I feel like at that point it's. like that's what those guys do. >> He should have just got into it. >> That's what I'm saying. >> I think he probably was into it, but. just was like you don't take. pictures. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Oh, I see. Just didn't want it to be. public. He probably wasn't yeah. >> That's true. >> No, he's 80. >> Right. >> True. >> All right, we. >> be the only way to. >> You got to go to the page. >> Yeah, yeah. So, oh, yeah, we got a nice. one. >> Yeah, it's suck Rome. >> Let's go Rome. I got to I got a lot of. stuff. I got to pee. >> Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's. Secret Podcast on Spotify.

>> Do it.