Ep 610 - The Bewick's Wren (feat. James Mccann)

Wow. Wow. Wes. >> I was told I was told the birds hatched. while I was gone. And I I don't see any. sign of it. >> Where? Yeah. You'd see the eggshells at. least. You would think, but. >> the papa comes in every so often, feeds. them, and then flies out. >> You think that's the bird feeding them? >> Yeah. Or the mom. >> They they have stayed together, which. I'm very happy. >> That's awesome. >> It's not just the mom. There's There's. mom and dad. Really? Yeah. It's very. >> two parent household. >> Yes. How how I guess the one the the dad. bird's bigger I guess stronger like uses.

reason. How do you tell? How do you. tell? Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. He and I smoke. He meets me back outside and he goes, "Bour me a beer, brother." My [ __ ]. [laughter]. >> just a thimble. >> My ren's being a real [ __ ]. But yeah, that's very exciting stuff. And I got the bird bird house with a. camera on it that will never be. installed. You'll see that sitting on. that island for. >> the remainder of my time in this house. Where do where do you got to mount that? Is that going to be on the fence? >> I don't know. I'm up. There's that tree. over there. That' be nice. I get it out.

there. >> Hey, don't you don't got to tell me. twice to clam that tree. I'll clamber up. that thing. >> I would I would love that. >> I love clambering a tree. >> I know. I [ __ ] tree broken. >> What the hell was that about? >> Smashed my car. >> So, we thought that was an AI picture. La Mer sent. >> That [ __ ] sucked. >> Yeah, that's [ __ ] How the hell did. it fall? >> Especially the way La Mer, you know what. it is? It's all that construction on the. road and it's a dead tree and finally it. just [ __ ]. >> Whoa. Okay. Yeah. I mean, they were. shaking this [ __ ] house. I thought it. was going to crack. >> There is a crack running through the. floor in that bathroom. Do you know.

about this? >> It's No, dude. The floor is splitting. >> Sidewalks. Sidewalks cracked out there. Those vibrations. >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] [ __ ] up really badly. >> Insane with that. >> No, that's like a whole part of civil. engineering where you have to like the. the amount of vibration coming can like. break windows and [ __ ] It's pretty. nuts. >> Well, it split a gigantic tree that then. destroyed my car. And it's well it's a weird thing to like. hold people accountable for it like yo. your vibration because it's hard to. prove. >> Yeah. >> But yeah. So they were doing stuff. Tree. fell. Did it just like crack in half or.

did it? >> Yeah. Like split. And La Mer, you were. very It was nice. It was a good video. you sent cuz it was kind of a reveal. You started with the tree and I was. like, "Oh, tree broke. That's [ __ ]. crazy." Then he goes, "Sorry about your. car." [laughter] I was like, "Oh, [ __ ]. >> How are the birds?" I was actually. concerned about the birds. >> Were you worried about La Mer's friends. kind of like using the fallen tree to. like climb in up on the roof and into. [laughter] the house? >> I mean. I He had a friend here the whole time.

>> What? >> Dorian was here. >> Oh, deeds. I forgot. >> Entire week I was gone. Dorian. to spend some time together. >> But I'll tell you what, when you get off. the road and you just want to [ __ ] be. alone in your house, you got La Mer and. Dorian walking around. >> Hey, thanks for letting me come and stay. as well. >> You're all right. You're not as big of a. as Dorian and La Mer together. [laughter]. >> He kept offering to make ribs for. everybody and it never happened. He. never gave me any ribs. >> I think he did make ribs cuz La Mer came. home looking for them and then was kind. of accusatory acting like I ate the.

ribs. >> Who ate the ribs? You didn't eat them. You didn't eat them. >> And Dorian ate them. >> Dorian ate made ribs. He did. He was. true to his word. He made ribs. [laughter]. >> He just ate them himself. >> That's what I was like, "Damn, that's. crazy if Dorian just took your food.". And he was like, "Well, he made them.". He's like, "Oh. >> [laughter]. >> important part. >> But he ate. >> We love inviting guys over and grilling. >> That's good stuff. >> Just you and a guy. >> That's good stuff, dude. That's good to.

clean your fun. >> I know. It is. If you do it like with I. don't know. You keep bringing different. guys into my house and grilling with. them and then leaving. [laughter]. >> You got to be a monogous griller. You. can't get grill technique. Also, it's. always just one guy at a time. It's. never [laughter]. >> It's never a few fellas. It's always. just here sneaking through the garage. >> Little grill and chill. >> I got us some some ribs [laughter]. and then we can watch cartoons. Let's get [ __ ] barbecue sauce all.

over the couch. [laughter]. Scare my birds. You scare those [ __ ]. Rens, I'm going to [ __ ] you up, man. Don't. talk to [laughter] them. >> Yeah. What is the smoking radius? Oh, that just God damn it. Just went back. Damn, that's I'm going on, bro. >> Caught out of the corner of my eye. I'm. like, I have like cat visions, >> dude. Think about playing Xbox and go, [laughter]. >> "Fuck yeah.". >> Oh [ __ ]. >> the rens are back. >> They're back. They're actually That. thing's bustling right now. >> Yeah. >> So, the birds flew, but I don't know how. birds work. Is that like Do they still.

chill and headquarter up in there for a. while? Obviously. Yeah. >> Damn. >> They're pretty active all day. >> Yeah, they're [ __ ] rocking. >> I went I bought them some bird food off. of Amazon. I googled I googled what. Renied. I just put a little cup next to. the nest. >> I don't I don't know if they're taking. it. I think either the mayor knocked it. over or a bunch of them made it. >> Yeah, they're probably munching that. >> I want them to be hardy. I want them. >> Yeah, you got they got to have their. skills. >> The cardboard's not stable enough long. term. You got to put You got to You got. to buttress. >> That thing's stable.

>> I can't believe you also had Bud Light. >> And there's Bud Lights in there. >> Yeah, you got lots of structure. >> Columns. >> There's [laughter] columns in there. that Ednville aged. >> That'd be funny if you eventually betray. them by like removing their supports. >> Eventually, I'll go, "Hold on. [laughter]. I'm out of beers.". >> You like the evil developer looking at. the [laughter] town. >> I could put those to good use. >> Yeah, they do have natural resources. that [laughter] I might have to give. them a democracy.

>> Tommy almost destroyed the structure. It. was great. I know. Reached in. Two of. them flew out again. You got you got. bats. You [laughter] got [ __ ] bats in. your I'm surprised you didn't get hurt. He's been injuryprone lately. >> He gets [laughter] hurt a whole lot. >> He's been on toddler time lately. >> Every time I see him, he's got a new. Bruce [laughter] Dumble. >> He's got a new boo boo every time I see. him. >> He's got to hide him from his lady. [laughter] I tell you that when he said.

what's up to Nate, he rolled his ankle. out front. Do you remember that? [laughter]. >> Yeah. This is the night after he was. over here and ripped his shins on the. [ __ ] pool and they were like really. [ __ ] up and his his fiance gets mad at. him for it obviously cuz it's bruski. doubles. [laughter] So then he comes in. limping and I'm like why the [ __ ] are. you limping and he was like. [laughter]. it's cuz my shins. I was like no it's. not. It's not cuz your shins. He was like I just rolled my ankle out. front. [laughter]. >> It was a bad one too. He touched earth.

like he went down. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, >> he's a mama mia. >> He lives right over to the car right. away here. As long as he's Mario. mushroom [laughter]. >> now. He's small. Yeah. >> He's got to watch out cuz he's he's. getting to the age where that's a fool. that puts you sits you down for a long. time. >> No. >> Jesus said Tommy. I watched a video of. Tommy from two years ago. He's aged 15. 20 years. >> You'll see. >> All right. >> It happens to all of us. >> Yeah. >> It's happened to me. I've got gray.

>> Yeah. Take a look. [ __ ] No, that's why. my hair is If I cut my hair now, everyone can see that. >> Yeah, mid. You hit 40. That's It's just. You are declining. >> It's going to get way worse for me. [ __ ]. >> dude. It's pretty crap. I played. basketball again the other day. I still. hurt. I had to do stand up last night. I. was on stage like like grim. [snorts and laughter] My whole back was. in pain. I was like, "Yeah." Anyway, oh. [ __ ]. >> guys. >> No, I don't believe I think you're. probably working the back. [clears throat] out. I remember seeing. the back last summer before I left. >> Dude, I'm still. >> Your back was in a spooky place. You.

admire. >> We were at the pool. I do. I saw him. swim. >> He admires men's physique and comments, dude. He told me, "If your physique is. as natural as you say it is, it's the. most impressive transformation I've ever. had.". >> I appreciate that. I was I was in the. mirror. >> I was in the mirror literally two days. ago and Britney's like, "What are you. doing?" I was like, "Jame said I had a. big back last summer. I'm making sure. it's still big." I'm still riding high. off that compliment. >> That's a nice compliment, >> dude. It's huge. I I I never seen my. back. I had no idea. >> It's You You do have a nice back. >> [ __ ] man. Thank you guys. >> I'm going to be riding high. I'm going. to be riding crazy off this dude.

>> I mean, >> guys with strong backs, secret jacked. >> Chris Oconor's shoulders. It's like. walking. >> around jack all of a sudden you go, "Good God, what's going on there?". >> Yeah, I'm I'm excited for, you know, I'm. still working hard. I'm trying to cut a. little bit. So, I'm excited for a reveal. pretty soon. So, >> Oh, yeah. Once the once the pool warms. up and also when the Rams leave, then we. can have a pool party. But [laughter] no. one's no one's allowed over here until. the Rams leave. >> I'm going to be like a four-year-old. with cool shoes. I'm going to take my. shirt off and just be like [laughter]. Is anybody going to say anything?

>> Yeah, Bball was nice, dude. I was. >> going to be I'm going to be the. opposite, dude. Pop the top and sprint. to the water, [laughter]. float with just my head above the water. for the entire time. >> Get that gator float. Just [laughter]. slide right in. >> Yeah, I've been I uh it's come to my. attention I'm a little aggressive for. the the basketball course. I I talk [ __ ]. the entire time. Yeah, you are a. [ __ ] out there. [laughter]. >> You talk [ __ ].

>> Anytime someone's shooting, I'm like, "Oh shit." Oh god. Watch out. Hold on. >> Anytime I touch the ball, I'm like, "Give me that [ __ ] Give me that ball.". >> Just honks out there with you. >> Nah, we we not we had a a lot of honks. >> Yeah. >> Pretty good. Pretty good. Uh, you know, my neighborhood, it's the racial. distribution is like almost like. engineered. >> Yeah, it is a little The first time I. went over to your house for a party, I. was a little like. >> something weird's going on. It was just. interracial couples. Yes, it does look. It's a mule. It's It's a bit of a. college brochure over there. >> Yeah, it is. >> Dude, we had I felt bad an Indian guy on. my team for the last game and then he.

was guarding an Indian guy was guarding. him. >> We got the ball and just passed it to. the wrong guy and I was like, "Oh shit.". [laughter]. >> The dude on my team looked at me and. started laughing like, "No, I get it, bro. That's fair. That's fair." It was. two curlyhaired same [ __ ] haircut. >> I was like, "Nah, dude. I'm sorry.". >> I mean, I've never seen an Indian guy on. a basketball [laughter] court ever. >> They were hooping. They were nice. >> Were they hooping? >> Yeah. Yeah, the one Yeah, that one guy. had a shot. But yeah, they Yeah, it's. true. When you see them, it's usually. not a uh. >> It's like prison. They play with the. Chinese guys. You put them over there. They're the others on the basketball.

>> The div three in the prison yet. >> It's like you guys go do your thing over. there. Play hop frog or whatever you. guys. >> Is there an [laughter] Indian athlete. outside of cricket? And is there anyone. who's passed over to like sometimes. there'll be an Asian footy player in. Australia, but. >> yeah, >> the great khali. >> Asians first. I feel like you like. there's like an Asian football player, right? Kickers or something. Definitely. baseball. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, I think so. But I never seen an. Indian guy. >> Japanese in baseball are doing great. >> Tell you what, the uh what is it? Hawaiian guys or whatever.

>> They were doing well in the draft last. night. I saw a lot of. >> Yeah, that's And that's a I feel like a. Hawaiian guys like you get a lot of. racial It's like very safe racial. excitement. You know what I mean? >> You're like, "Oh, what is that? You. guys, you're like campfires or. something. You have cool tattoos." It's. [laughter] like, you know, >> I I watched some of the draft last night. and I don't know if it's the economy has. gone worse, but the outfits they're. wearing have become less ostentatious. when they're getting picked. I last year. I met there was a lot of silk double. breasted people wearing. >> Edwwardian roughs and all sorts of crazy.

things. And this year normal. >> normal suits. The Sam Owens had big. suits. >> and everyone just had a normal. >> Is that a fair observation? Uh, I think. yeah, maybe it was a. >> subdued draft. >> Last year, everyone looked like they. were in the capital at the Hunger Games. at some point. [laughter]. >> No, they'll they'll bring that back. Don't worry. They'll be dressed like. [ __ ] idiots. >> Is it cuz there's a war and people. going, "It's not appropriate.". >> No, I don't think so. >> Wear lime satin. >> They'll break it out. >> Breaches. >> That is true. So, everyone was like kind.

of modestly or like classically dressed. >> It was insane last year. >> Yeah, that that is pretty wild, man. It. was probably the first time you really. saw. >> saw it. But now I've just become used to. it. >> Yeah, we're all totally used to it. Like. a pregame NBA walk is the craziest thing. I've ever seen. Every outfit's the worst. outfit I've ever seen. >> The cool thing would be to go back to. the late 90s huge jacket. >> Huge jacket. I ill-fitting pants of the. late 90s. I think that's the look that. >> Yeah. Jinko have somehow infiltrated the. black community. I've seen a lot of like.

dudes wearing like super widelegg pants. >> That's nice. >> Yeah. So I that's I don't know. I feel. like that doesn't I don't I don't like. it for him to be honest. >> Jenkos. >> Yeah. It's not for them. I I just think. it doesn't look right. I don't know. Unless you're like kick flipping or. something on the way up there. It's just. kind of weird. >> I see how you Yeah. They're stealing. your culture. >> Yeah. True. I mean, you know, >> so now now you [laughter] understand. that that that could be a little. frustrating. >> They bring their frosted tips. What else. are they going to take away from us? [laughter].

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Noble is offering 35% off your first and. holy [ __ ] 35% off your entire first. order. Visit no project.com and use code. secret pod for 35% off of your entire. first order. That's no project.com and. use code secret pod. Respectfully, Jean's had a good run. [laughter]. >> Dude, me and me and Nate were fired up. on the Sixers the other day. That was a. fun game, dude. >> Dude, it was awesome. They all went up. They were on stage and I I saw it was. like the fourth quarter. That's all I.

saw was the fourth quarter and I saw. like the I saw the Sixers only up by. like three. The Celtics and then they. went on that run. Then the Sixers came. out with the layup that layup screaming. to the crowd and one. >> It might have been my favorite thing to. see, dude. Just before that just. draining those two threes and like just. like crazy. >> Hit a three and hit that wink. >> Oh my god, >> dude. Live. I rewind. I rewind. [laughter]. the same thing. I hit [ __ ] 10 seconds. back and I go, "Dude, check this out.". [laughter]. Look at this [ __ ] wink, dude. How. [ __ ] cool was that? [gasps]. >> Nate was on stage while cuz it was like,

"Oh [ __ ] it was getting close." He went. up and I'm watching just Maxi ball out. and I was just looking up there like, "Where is he, dude? He needs to see. this, man. This is. >> We were both We were fired up." Awesome. That was great. >> Didn't expect that one. >> I was just getting into Philly while. that was happening. And uh it was funny. cuz when you get into it was the whole. city was orange. >> Yeah. for the Flyers. And the Flyers. were playing the next night. That night, the Sixers were currently playing. I was. like, it's funny that the City is. already like just giving up. >> Yeah. >> Except for them. >> then that game that was great.

>> Now I hear Embiid's uh. >> I don't I don't know. Part of it I think. they're trying to [ __ ] with uh Boston to. be like he might come so prepare like so. they prepare for that cuz he is. appendix. He just had no one's come back. two weeks after having appendix removed. I think. >> how many [ __ ] guys have gotten that. during a season? Uh, it happens more it. happened a few times during the season, but the playoffs is where people are. like maybe because it's the playoffs. they'll rush them back. >> They also do have some crazy stuff now. medically like like I feel like ACL's. now they just they pop you like right.

back. >> Appendicitis. Yeah, appendicitis. compared to compared to what Yeah. I. thought be like an ender. >> Yeah. >> Appendicitis is like Yeah. You're you. got to be down for like at least three. weeks, dude. I would imagine. Yeah. >> But is that like a sports is that like a. sports recovery or is that just like a. >> just like you can walk around? >> Yeah. >> Rough and tumble play. >> Especially he's going to play rough and. tumble. >> Yeah, true. [laughter]. >> Cool. >> No, dude. >> Falling on the ground every [ __ ] 10.

seconds. >> If we can win one more, make it a. definite like game six like six game. scenario, I think he'll pop back up. >> What do you think about tonight? I think. uh Celtics by 50. >> What? [laughter]. >> Usually usually you win a game like. that. >> Yeah, I was wondering. >> It's usually a comeback. >> I liked at the very end when they just. put in all their white guys and they. [laughter] were just breaking threes the. whole time. That's when your whites are. missing threes. It's like. >> Yeah, >> you're done. >> That's bad. That's bad stuff. Yeah, they. they threw in the [ __ ] scrub squad at.

the very You can tell they're like, "All. right, [ __ ] this game. We'll get it next. one." I think we can get one more at. home. I don't know about this very next. one, but we can get one more at home. >> Yeah, >> it's gonna be exciting. >> Yeah, >> I think I do think Boston's gonna come. back strong. So, when you're when you're. missing like that, you're just like, "All right, I got the worst over now. I'm just gonna start fighting.". >> Yeah, they never they never shoot like. that. That's That's the problem. That. was probably their worst game all. season, shooting, >> but that might be defense. Might be the. matchup. [laughter]. >> Mayor's evil ass. >> cuz he's a hater.

>> He is a hater. >> He's a hater. He pretends he's not a. hater. >> He's an actual hater. >> Yeah. That's why I don't want to watch. >> Which is crazy for a guy who doesn't. really give a [ __ ] about sports. >> He just wants. >> like he's just a video game he's a he's. an anime wrestling video game guy and. then he'll be like [ __ ] the Sixers. He's just an evil. >> We were all happy for you to see Cody. Ruse. >> What do you mean? >> It's owned by a management group, right? It's not owned by one guy. It's owned by. a group of people who are own.

>> That's why you don't like them. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Cuz their only goal is to make. money, not to be good or win. >> What the [ __ ] do you think the goal. >> you think the wrestling is? >> Huh? >> What do you think wrestling is? >> No, I'm saying that's not in the spirit. of sports though. Like when it's like. when it's like Larry Balmer owning the. Clippers, the Clippers are going to try. But when it's like a group of dudes who. own like five teams, >> I've never heard this before. This is. exciting to me. You want You think if. there's any if there's more than one. owner? >> No, it's a managing group. It's like. venture capitalists like own the team. >> Yeah. >> Yes.

>> But it's still the team. It's still the. cover. It's still the. >> They're just trying to make money. They're not trying to like win. They're. just trying to make sure they milk money. out of people. >> I don't know what the Dallas Cowboys. have been doing, but I I think they're. just [laughter] trying to win. >> Yeah, but the the goal is to win because. that makes the most money. >> That's not true. >> Yeah, it is. [laughter]. It's better to win than to not win. >> It's definitely true. >> True. >> Get people in the seats if you're good. >> Yeah. And you can still be a single. owner, but they probably have investors, too. You know what I mean? So, >> what do you mean you don't think that's. true? >> I don't think you have to win. >> You sell more merch. If you win the.

Super Bowl, what about the Cleveland. Browns? >> What about the Cleveland Browns? >> They sell out every year, but they never. win. >> What about the Green Bay Packers? They've got a team ownership, you know, like City owners. They win. >> They don't have a single owner. That's. Everybody buys in. Everybody. >> for the Flyers. >> Yeah. >> They've sucked for a decade. >> Yeah. >> Now they're back this now. It's like. packed when they play. >> Yeah. >> And they're actually like even the. players are like, "Holy [ __ ] I didn't. even know it could be like this." And. it's like they're selling out every like.

you understand. >> Yeah. But are they owned by a management. group or are they owned by like a guy? >> I'm not sure there's I'm trying to point. out that winning helps [laughter]. financially. >> Yeah, I agree. >> Winning helps financially. >> Yeah. >> By a management group. >> Yeah, for the most part. There's usually. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I think so. Well, that's a good. theory, though. I I like the idea of it. of being like, you know, I want I want a. guy this You know, >> there's a.

>> just put up like an. >> interesting reason for you to just not. like to talk [ __ ] on Nate's team. [laughter]. >> You don't even have a single owner. >> Do you know the F45 gyms? >> Huh? >> Have I ever told you about the F45 gym, man? >> No. >> There was an Australian man who invented. that kind of gym and then he came out. and he started buying teams. He came to. America and he started buying teams, but. he like didn't have huge money. So, he. bought like a rugby league team and I. think like a very low-level baseball. team, but he named them after a cocktail.

[laughter] that he was inventing. I think I'm getting this right. I'm. going to like his name was Adam. Gilchrist and he he called them like the. Gilronies cuz he was going to come out. with his own personal cocktail. >> called like the the Gilgrroni like a. negrroni name. >> But then uh he went bankrupt and the. cocktail never came out but the team had. two years of playing in Austin. and they changed the name and like. people were very upset who were fans of. the team. >> and everything about it. I'm not saying. that he was necessarily a huge cocaine.

addict, but everything about it screams. He bought two teams. He named them both. after cocktails that never came out. He. was found to be legally paying the. players or something. And then he and. then they like they just weren't allowed. to play in the playoffs. >> and now they folded and now there's no. team in Austin. >> And that's a single owner mayor. See, that's what happened. That was a tiring. Am I getting this right? >> You need the checks and balance. organization. You know who else had a. single owner? >> Germany. >> True. [laughter]. >> You want a strong man? I think you're.

just missing Vince McMahon. Honestly, I. think that's what it is. >> You miss Vince. >> I think he's projecting his Vince loss. onto the Sixers. >> How'd you feel about Mania? >> Oh, yeah. >> Let me say something, brother. I'm kind. of glad I didn't go. [laughter]. >> Really? >> Really? >> What about Cody Rhodess? >> Cody won. That was nice. Yeah, >> it was cool. But celeb mania, dude. >> There was a lot of celebs. >> Also, Cody Rhodess kind of like weekend. dad dadded you. He's like, "Come on, buddy. We'll go to Wrestlemania.". [laughter]. >> I did. Peace.

>> He did. >> Cody Rhodess never reached back in. >> Big promises to La Mer. La Mer had his. bags packed. Be like, "Dad, he's coming. to get me soon." [laughter]. He never came. >> That's how the tree went down. [laughter]. I got you. >> I didn't even want to go to. Wrestlemania. It wasn't wasn't even a. good one. >> He didn't say anything. And then like. the day before he was like, "Shane, can. you ask Cody Rhodess if I can go to. Wrestlemania?" I was like, "No, dude.

[laughter]. >> Fly me to the guy." I know. [snorts]. >> Had to get to Vegas for like 150 bucks. on like planes. >> Yeah, it's cheap as hell, dude. That's. >> Well, yeah. [laughter]. >> No, Vegas is like notoriously cheaper, right? Because you they like are. incentivized. >> Direct flights were like $800. >> Oh, for Mania. >> Some workarounds. >> Yeah. >> I was. >> You talking about a connecting flight, >> huh? >> You talking about a connecting flight? >> No, I was just going to I was going to. take a flight to Burbank and get off in. Vegas cuz it stops in Vegas.

>> Dude, that you should have done your. personal road to Wrestlemania where you. just got met glasses and just like. filmed the whole journey of like I'm. going to get in here one way or the. other. >> Bus ticket. [laughter]. >> What do you mean get off? >> I thought a bus was a plane. What do you mean get off at a different. stop? >> No, I I got it. I That's smart. >> You mean a connecting flight? >> No, but you get the connecting flight to. another location. Get off in the middle. >> Yeah. Whoa. >> You don't get back on at the connecting. flight. >> Okay. >> It's very sneaky. >> So, you just get off and you're out.

>> Yeah. Like, I'm in Vegas. This is where. I want to go. [laughter]. >> Smart. >> Yeah. >> I didn't even know that was possible. They tried to hold me and Nate had to do. that. We We flew one. We got rerouted. and ended up in Cleveland and there we. had to go to Cincinnati or one or the. other. And then we like landed in the. place where we could just drive and be. there. And the lady was like, "You guys. can't get off the plane." I was like, "I'm getting off the plane. I have a car. rent." And she's like, "It's not safe.". And I was like, "I don't feel safe right. now on this plane. I got to go." I was. telling Nate, I was like, "Bro, I'm. about to fake a heart attack. You're. going to have to do you're going to have. to do it, too." So, I was going to be.

like, "Oh." Nate would be like, "Oh, me, too. [laughter]. We got to go.". >> Yeah. But they let the pilot was chill. He was like, "Yo, they can get off, man. just let him off. I didn't tell you. about this and some guy tried to like. flight big dick me. He's like, "Dude, I. fly like 300 times a year. This is not a. big deal." I was like, "Not saying it's. a big deal. I got to I just have to. leave this plane. Like, [snorts] get the. [ __ ] out of my face, dude. Trust me, brother. This is nothing." All right, man. [ __ ] out of here. >> God. >> I was like, I just have to go cuz if I. went back to Chicago and then got stuck.

there, I would have like missed the. show. >> Yeah. >> It's like this is not a big deal. Okay, cool, man. >> Yeah. Who are you? >> Shut up. >> Stay out of it. can't get out of here, >> you [ __ ] [laughter] idiot. >> But yeah, it was nice. But yeah, I was. uh I was worried cuz I I also thought. too I was like, "Yeah, who cares if I. just like disobey the stewardist? I'll. get I'll get I won't be able to fly. United. I I don't even like United.". >> How much I don't like myself. I could. see myself doing that. >> What? >> That awful behavior of sitting next to. somebody and being like, I take a lot of. flights. This is nothing. [laughter]. >> I could catch myself in a moment of. being a giant douche.

>> Someone someone next to me. I don't. think I would, but Well, >> I'm saying I I'm capable of that would. be something I would regret. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But I could be like I fly all the time. [laughter]. >> Just a stranger. >> I I say it I'll catch myself saying it. at like the airport where I'll just be. Yeah. Same thing like Yeah. I actually I. fly a good amount, but I would never. interjecting in a person trying to gain. freedom from the air airline to be like, "Dude, you just got to stay here." It's. like, "Well, dude, I'm not going to a. [ __ ] corporate banquet where I can. just not show up.".

I would think to myself, this guy must. be freaking out if at the connecting. flight he's just like, you know what? I'll get out here and I'll drive. >> Yeah. >> Be like, dude, >> yeah, you're fine. Fly. >> That's how all the airports are built is. to turn us against one another so we. don't unify and rise up. I've thought. about this a lot as to why that why are. airports the uniquely there's not like a. nice traditionally designed airport. They're all cold angles and glass and. judgment. Split you up, make you feel. atomized so that when there's a delay or. whatever, you don't, you know, you know, unify, you don't band together. They. want you turning. >> Sorry. While you're talking, the [ __ ].

rent flew right back into my car. [laughter]. >> I'm very bad airport design. >> I heard I heard a theory that they're. actually. >> My house looks like new LaGuardia. This. thing [laughter] [ __ ] blows. >> I heard a theory they're thin zones. where it's like people are dislocated. from like time. You don't know like. you're different like. >> like a casino in an airport. >> Well, they were talking more like it's. almost like a dream space where you're. kind of like no one knows like you're in. a different place. You don't know what. if you're going to get to go or not. The. time zones are all scattered. So, kind. of [ __ ] people. That's why people freak.

out. >> What's that music that I can't figure. out what that music is that plays when. they play a liinal space on a reel? It's. been stuck in my head for days. Do you. know what I'm talking about? It's like. Donkey Kong music. >> Yeah. >> It's like underwater Donkey Kong music. It makes me every time it pops up on the. reel, I. >> I don't even know. I don't even look at. the the meme. I just feel sad. >> I've been watching people get kicked. off. The Midwest Safety is taking over. my algorithm. >> How good is Mid Midwest, dude? >> Just long body cam videos. >> It's great, >> dude. >> Great narration. The guy breaks down the. story. >> Yep. The officer recap. I like the.

officer. He's a Philly. He was a Philly. officer, by the way. >> Was he Philly? >> Yeah. He recaps like this is what. happens. It's very common. I'm I'm. >> I'm so ready to now for civilian. disturbances. I was in uh I was in. Phoenix recently and I saw this homeless. lady, you know, she like went and met up. with her like homeless boyfriend and. they were sitting outside a pizza place. eating and at one point the guy was. like, "That's [ __ ] bullshit." And I. was like, "I might have to intervene. right And I looked over and the lady. just went, "What are you looking at?" I. was like, "Whoa, what the hell?" I'm. >> You should have said, "I've been.

watching a lot of Midwest safety.". [laughter]. Just so you know, >> I will call the cops right now. >> Pull the trigger. So, if you move. quickly [laughter]. at all, >> 15 shots into your [ __ ] car. >> There was one, it was sad, but there was. a guy who was pretending to work on a. house and he was just, I think he was. probably just like stealing the pipes or. whatever. So, the cops like he's like, "No." He's like, "I'm working here, guy." And he kept it was he was like. lying, but he was pretty he was like it. seemed like he was smooth with it in his. head, but he was also like he would say. the same thing over and over. He go, "Place is a [ __ ] hole. You guys got to.

see." He kept trying to do like. contracting talk and they're like, "So, what what are you doing in here?" And. he's like, >> "Pull a job. Don't pump a job. I'm a. drywall company." And they'd be like, "Okay." And you know, and eventually. he's like, "The lady said, "You didn't. get hired." And he was just like, "I got. a gun." He ran inside. He just ran. inside and he did suicide by cop. It was. sad. >> Just shot him in the head. >> It's really. >> Oh, it's pretty. It's like cops but like. on HBO cops basically. >> kill him and then the cops come they're. like I shot him there's like you get to. see him talk shop and they're sitting. there and they're like cuz he did like. brandish what looked like a weapon at.

them and um the one cop rolled up he. goes yo I knew that guy he was a boxer. man he he would have [ __ ] you up dude. if you guys had a fought that guy. knocked people the [ __ ] sucked at. jiu-jitsu terrible fight was [ __ ]. badass. >> over his body. >> they just eulogize him he's like badass. boxer though man this guy was great and. then like all right we got to get him. out of here he's dead. >> there's There's so many good ones. There's one. There's one. I mean, it's. obviously really sad cuz it's a guy with. like PTSD and. >> clearly like a method rage type thing, but he's in on the bottom floor of this.

like apartment complex. So, his windows. go out into like the courtyard part, but. they're like while they're approaching, they're like, "We we got a disturbance.". And then he just they look into the room. and you see him in the corner like naked. just like stand up and he's gigantic. He's like, "Ah, no." And then he comes. through the window to fight all the cops. and he's so big. They're like, "Please. stop. Stop. [laughter] Stop, dude." He's. like, "Which one do you want to [ __ ]. die tonight?" [laughter]. >> He like chases them all.

>> They kill [clears throat] this man. >> Uh, [ __ ]. >> But is this is that all these videos? They try and get suicided. >> No, not all of them. Some of them are. hilarious. >> Oh, good. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. There's some of them are really. funny. >> There was this drunk There's like a tall. white dude. He got he like his he had. like a fighting with his girlfriend. So. he was at like a work like a convention. kind of thing where he's supposed to. like stand at a table and hand hand out. information. He ditched it and got. hammered in like like a strip mall uh. restaurant. >> So he comes outside, they like kick him. out. He's just outside with the cops and. they're like talking to him and out of. nowhere he would just go, "I got that.

good cushion alcohol.". [laughter]. >> Was this me? >> That sounds like my weekend. >> I got some down [ __ ] [laughter] I. could call. >> It was so funny. I don't know what I. would do without [laughter] y'all. >> And they like they're like call Uber. He's like, "All right, I will." And he. was like, "Play Spotify and be like, play Young Thug. [laughter] Just chill.". Damn. >> It was He was the funniest, >> bro. What What happened there? He just. would hit on the lady cop the whole. time. The guys would talk to me like, "Yo, tell him to stop talking to me. I. only want to talk to you." And he like,

"Yo, you're so I love you so much, dude." He was so And then they tased him. and he was like, and he fell down. [laughter] He fell down and he got up. and he goes, "Yo, thanks for doing that. Kind of like that. Do it again." They're. like, "Dude, stop. get out of here. His. boss comes and picks him up and he's. like, "You [ __ ] [ __ ] Get in the. car.". >> That was uh they did every once in a. while they have a fun one like that. >> Yeah, it was. >> like Shad. >> Yeah. >> Remember that [laughter] guy? >> Yeah, that was Midwest Safety. >> I didn't know that. >> Yeah, that was a Midwest safety classic. named Shad. >> There's also There was one guy who. barricaded himself in his house. Those. are always good. That one ended bad. He.

got I think he got shot, but he put up a. [ __ ] fight. And the cops are always. so excited to break out. They're like, "Why do we have this military tank? >> This [ __ ] giant Bearcat SWAT vehicle. >> just to put a [ __ ] battering ram on. the front of it. Break down some guy's. shitty front door. He's in there. throwing [ __ ] kitchen knives out. [laughter] the [ __ ] They gassed him. out for like 4 hours. They're like, "The. sun's going down. We have to go in. I. don't know how he's still in there." Oh, >> he's just creating barricades in the.

house, >> dude. It's. >> Eventually, he pulled out a gun and they. killed him. They'll get him. >> But he was throwing a lot of stuff for a. while, which was fun. >> Throwing knives is wild. >> They try to throw a [ __ ] gas canister. in. They'd see him throw it right back. out. God [laughter] damn, how do you. This guy's fielding these things. >> I like when the dude slipped the. handcuffs. >> Can of corn. >> Women slip the handcuffs a lot. >> Yeah, >> there was a lady who slipped the. handcuffs and stole a cop car and jumped. in the front and just [ __ ] belineed. it and just drove 80 miles an hour and. then she like pulled off into the woods. and luckily slowed down and just whacked.

an old stone wall. You see the inside. cam? She's like boom. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. I mean, it is really horrific a. lot. >> Midwest. It's my whole algorithm now. It's just dash. And then there's the. other ones that like that get pretty. wicked, man. Yeah. >> You're like, "No, I'm staying Midwest.". >> You got to check that bottom where it. says Midwest Safety. >> Yeah, I always do. There's some of them. where I'm just like, "Yeah, I'm. >> Cuz at least they blur out the. >> the carnage.". >> Yeah, it's true. >> In Midwest Safety, >> I saw one where a guy It wasn't Midwest. >> You watch any of the mass shootings? >> No, I steer clear. I try to keep. >> That's really [ __ ] bad.

>> Those ones are sad. I steer clear. I saw. one that was pretty [ __ ] up on it was. like a different thing, but it was a guy. who had worked in a I guess like a some. sort of care unit for like the. developmentally disabled and there was a. lady who I forget what she had but she. was like basically a vegetable. She. couldn't move, couldn't talk, couldn't. do anything and he impregnated her. So, they're just like doing a routine thing. and they were like, "Dude, she's. pregnant." And they were like, "What the. fuck?" So, they had to do like an. investigative thing to figure out like. who was with her. >> It's a miracle, >> dude. The guy was just this young kid.

who was a boxer. So then they they like. interviewed him. He's like, "No, I never. got to spend alone time blah blah blah.". And everyone else they interviewed was. like, "Check with this guy. He's [ __ ]. weird." [laughter]. >> Definitely [ __ ] up. And. >> dude, he did. And well, so they did a. paternity test, but they were like, they. showed footage of him and he would be. around or I think they talked about it. He would walk around like. >> all the influence, dude. He Yeah, dude. [laughter]. He would stand over them and just be. like. >> shadow just shadow box them [laughter]. the whole time. >> And then Yeah. Yeah, they they like when. they revealed the paternity test, they. like told him like, "Well, you're.

actually you are the father." And they. just had the camera on him still AND HE. GOES, "FUCK." [laughter]. OH, DUDE. [ __ ] JESUS. Please help me. Please. I'll do anything. He's like, "I'll be poor my rest of my life. I. don't care." And like, dude, you're. going to jail for like. >> You're going to be poor. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You're going to be poor the rest of your. life. You [ __ ] a vegetable lady. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really sad. >> Sorry. What is this channel, >> dude? It's Midwest Safety. >> That's not Midwest Safety. So that was. you that's like you'll if you start with. Midwest safety. >> That doesn't sound like a Midwest.

safety. >> That is not a Midwest safety episode. >> Sounds like a Morovich. Sounds like a. dream. >> Well, dude, here's the weird part of. Midwest Safety cuz they arrest women. There's a lot of female arrests and. there's an undeniably erotic component. to the whole thing where it's like a. lady in yoga p and it'll be sad. It'll. be like she's drunk behind the wheel. Her one-year-old is like trapped. underneath the car seat and they. [laughter] they like pull the kid out. and she's just like give me my [ __ ]. baby right now. They have to like. wrestle her to the ground. And it's just. like. >> it's hot. You're saying there's an. erotic. >> I think there's an un Well, that one. wasn't very erotic, but there'll be ones.

where they like wrestle a lady down into. like a hotel bed while her boyfriend's. getting like beat up. And I'm like, this. is kind of kink. This is. >> This is kind of kink. >> We Yeah, >> it's not mine, but I'm like it's. >> You can see where it comes from. There's. a big strong guy coming in beating your. ass, beating your girlfriend's ass. [laughter]. >> They leave. Bug sitting. >> your boyfriend the whole time IS LIKE. HE'S RAPING ME, DUDE. There's one guy. you wouldn't stop. He's raping me. >> It's quality. >> It was great. It was It's so funny. It's. quality stuff, >> dude. Sorry. This is my last one. But.

the the one where the. >> I understand your joy for I'm so happy. Midwest. You found Midwest. >> It's all I watch on the plane now. >> It's the best, >> dude. He goes. >> download him for the flight. I'm going. to see what happened then. Uh [laughter]. >> this is just the best scenario ever cuz. it's two people on a work trip. It's the. wife's work trip. The husband's just. there, gets hammered at the bar. And it. was like I guess he was like a quarter. Native American, which comes into play. later. And he uh so the woman just gets. woken up to officers just being like, "Wake up." And she's like, she's also. drunk. She's like, "What?" And the.

husband's like, "Some guy started with. me, babe. I stood up for myself. Don't. worry about it. [laughter] You're just. fighting people out of the bar.". >> So over like saying like, "This is my. land. You stole it from me." And they're. like, "Shut up." And he's like, "Yeah.". Yeah. So then. >> Oh, damn. He tried to reclaim his land. He tried to reclaim. >> tried [laughter] to reclaim their. throat. >> Like a holiday in Express. >> So then. >> a bunch of hockey dads, >> dude. They're like, "Yeah, exactly. >> Guys on a travel team getting wasted. >> Shut up." And then so he's like, "I'll. stand up for myself. Never stop standing.

up for myself." And he kept trying to. step to the cops. They tased him. >> He must have got hit with the Native. American algorithm. >> I dude I think so. >> I've seen a lot of those. [laughter]. >> Those are my favorite. It's just modern. day Native Americans like, "You're on. stolen land. Never forget that." And. then they do a [ __ ] ceremonial dance. Every comment's like, "Fuck you, [ __ ]. Scoreboard. You lost. [laughter] You had. homec court advantage of lost, [ __ ]. [ __ ] you. >> So many scoreboard." [laughter]. >> I I don't know if what I'm about to say. is true, but it's what I just found out. about Oklahoma. >> What. >> cities? There are rules about sex.

offenders that they can't live like a. certain distance from a school or other. type things. So what they they do in the. cities is they organize they space the. schools and the other places that sex. offenders can't go near so that sex. offenders can't stay anywhere. They do a. full city plan. >> to like block out. Do you know what I'm. saying? Like create a force field around. it. But then. >> the pedophiles have to live in a little. satellite town. >> It's like a town full of sex offenders. and that's where they go and stay.

because they can't also stay in one. building. Two at maximum. So there are. like these little satellite pedophile. communities. >> Wait, pedophiles just on the outside. >> Pedophiles can't there can't be more. than two pedophiles. >> I know. Apparently. >> we got one more guest and we're [ __ ]. [laughter]. >> Apparently they max out at two. pedophiles in the building. >> That's why you can only have one guy at. a time. [laughter]. That's why he's like, I'm having a big. barbecue party, but just one of my. pedophile buddies. >> You and Dorian, >> they're having a courtship. They both. have their pearl officers next to them.

[laughter]. Succulent hot. >> Well, it's also every city. I feel like. the cities in Oklahoma are all. surrounded by reservations. Like the. Indian reservations, too. So, it's like. you got the res, you got the city, and. then it's pedophile. >> Pedophile satellite town. >> Trailer Park. What's that? >> Just Middle Earth. Pedophiles. Oh, dude. Pedophile Park is Pervert Park. >> Pervert Park in Florida. That That is a. sad document. You ever want to get. really sad? Watch Pervert Park. >> Pedophile Trailer Park. >> Pedophile Trail Park. Florida. >> Just drives by and throws bottles at it. Then they then you talk they interview.

the pedophiles who have all obviously. had the worst. >> Yeah. Except for one guy. >> Pedophile. Yeah. There was one original. vampire. >> One original vampire. The rest of them. tell you their life story. You're like, "Fuck these ped you see bottles flying. over at like good." And then you like. tear their story. You're like, "Oh, that's [ __ ] really bad." Then there. was one guy who was like, >> "That's got [ __ ] horny, man. I drove. drove to Mexico and tried to take a kid. and uh yeah, they beat my ass and I. drove away, but I got arrested on the. boardroom. [laughter]. They beat my ass and I drove away. What. the [ __ ] We used to fry that guy. He's. like, I was just jammed up, man. I just.

figured I could take a kid from Mexico. >> It was a stressful day. So, just [ __ ]. horned up. >> Yeah. Look, we've all had. >> Yeah, it's real. But the the the the. documentary is just a lady who's a. pedophile. And then it's just like Yeah, I was like I was [ __ ] my dad. She. would like [ __ ] her dad on and off as an. adult. It was It's perfect. >> Solid thing going. They just she was on. again, off again. >> Yeah. Well, I think she'd been obviously. vampire bitten early in life and then. she was just like, "Yeah. expression. >> You like break out with her boyfriend. just move back. >> like vampires and you get.

>> Yeah, >> pretty much, dude. Pretty much all of. them for the most part have. >> molested his kids. >> We got to break the cycle. >> Yeah, just don't molest kids. >> Yeah. >> Well, chemical castration. >> Yeah. >> Castrate the. >> I think that's fair. >> Chemical. Where are you guys getting all. these [ __ ] Oklahoma effects? [laughter]. >> What the [ __ ] going on here, dude? We've actually been studying Oklahoma. very closely in Oklahoma. >> While Shane's gone, we're going to. master Oklahoma pedophile [laughter]. law.

>> Damn. So, it's legal. >> That's why the panhandle's so small in. Oklahoma. >> It's for a little penis. >> What is it just sever your desire? Does. it like [ __ ] your gens up? Like, what is. it? >> I don't know. It makes me unhappy to. think about. I only thought about it. because I watched I watched the Beonia. movie and at the start they chemically. castrate each other and from that point. on I was against the movie. >> Really? Do you know what I'm Do you know. the movie I'm talking about? >> I watched it on the flight. He was very. good. Maybe a pedophile cop. >> It's sort of hinted at that he might be. a pedophile, but then they.

>> Oh, yeah. No, I think they make it. pretty clear he like molested the main. guy. >> He says, "I'm sorry I did that to you. I. never did it to another kid.". >> Yeah. Okay. >> And it's uh Anyway, he's very good. You. know, it upset me. The whole film upset. me. >> Pedophile stuff. At least they're not. glorifying it. You know, chemical. castration is I think that's a fair. route for the pedophile, you know, but then it's like what the. hell you do with him? What do you what. he's like? That'd be a good coming of. age tale. Pedophile chemically castrated. has to find himself.

>> Get him straight and narrow. >> Call up his friends. Barbecue one. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Cuz what do you do after that? You're a. pedophile. You've been shamed. >> Yeah. >> Now you're like altered physiologically. where you can't do that. You'll never do. that thing ever, I would imagine. So it's like what do you do? You got to. just boss up in a fast food chain. somewhere. [laughter]. The glow up would be crazy. The comeback. >> Nobel Prize. You go to college, study. hard. >> Yeah. >> Learn how science works. >> I mean, >> you invent AI. >> You're completely undistracted.

>> You can finally [ __ ]. >> just raking your mom's leaves very. efficiently forever. [laughter]. >> Become a curling champion. >> Yeah. I mean, that's got to be crazy. because that's where they go. They go. usually they live with their mom after. you get a pedophile, get busted, back to. mom. Yeah. >> Then your mom dies. Now you're a lone. >> pedophile. It's got to be a minute. The. you're just you and the computer. You're. like, "Let me just look.". >> Yeah. >> I mean, just get a glimpse for all time. sake. >> Cops come immediately like, "Fuck. shit.".

Yeah, that would be bad. [laughter]. >> Good stuff. >> Yeah. Chemical gas. Fair. >> I've I've chemically cast a couple. times. >> Yo, with the with the BL's. >> You have too many BL's you. God damn it. >> [laughter]. >> Nothing's working. >> You're running Oklahoma drills on. yourself. >> now. That's the Oklahoma drill. >> That's tricky, though, because if you. don't chemically castrate yourself. enough, now you're a super predator. >> Now you become [laughter] the ultimate.

>> Dang, man. But yeah, that's uh that's. good stuff. I didn't know they have they. set it up to where they. >> This is what I got. I don't know what. the other buildings are that they could. my friend who made my shirts who came. down from Oklahoma. He went out for. breakfast. >> An odd piece of information that he. knows. >> Well, his his uh his wife works in uh. there was a word they used that wasn't. halfway house that was a halfway house. >> Recovery or recovery house. Yeah. But um. that's where I heard about it and she. had heard about it. I don't know. Again,

I don't know how true it is. >> Pedophile recovery house. It feels. crazy. Well, they do lump those. They lump. [laughter]. [snorts] pedophile recovery house is. nuts, dude. You're all the circle just. being like pretty normal day. Pretty. chill. >> Pretty normal. Yeah. >> It's all the boss the other day. >> That's a new reality show they do. They. get 10 of them in there. And if they do. [ __ ] a child, they have to be removed. from the house. And the last one. >> wins. >> You know what? They win. They win a trip. to Thailand. >> The last one wins. >> Free holiday to Thailand. No questions. asked. All right. [laughter].

[gasps] This is my idea for a show. >> It's not a [laughter] bad show. You hold. off on the big reveal on the prize. because that could turn viewers off. You're invest like I'm really rooting. for this guy. You're like, "All right, here.". >> I got other ideas for sure. >> Russell Brand just got in trouble. >> Yeah. >> I think he kind of did that to himself. on that one. >> Oh yeah. I mean obviously. >> normally he's like [ __ ] government's. coming up with [ __ ] Try to [ __ ] me. on this and he goes I I [ __ ] a 16-y. old. [laughter]. What the [ __ ]. >> A while back. There was allegations.

against him a while back that he had. fully been like this is a deep state. obviously and then I think I think the. probably just grew too hard. And he's. like, "Well, yeah, there was that one. time." He was it was within his legal. right. >> He was It's that that's that's the whole. thing. >> The British were different about it, you. know, until quite recently. >> And yeah, you could back then you could. just have sex with 16-year-olds in. England. >> You still can, I think. >> Still can. Yeah. >> Shouldn't. >> Should not at all. >> Frown upon. >> Very frowned upon. >> Not mine.

>> It's not mine. Did it urine? >> Yeah. Looks like it's yours. >> You [ __ ] dumb. >> Looks like you need to produce yourself, dude. You. >> dumb dumper. [laughter]. >> You just wrestle branded yourself. >> We got to We got to pause anyway. Yeah, >> I'll be right back. All right. >> This episode is brought to you by Prize. Picks, a preferred partner of the NBA. The regular season is wrapped and the. NBA playoffs are finally here. And. there's no better way to cash in on the. high-flying hoops action than Prize.

Picks, America's number one sports pick. app. Every bucket, every dime, and every. win means more when you're playing on. prize picks. So, don't pass up your next. shot with prize picks and get $50. instantly in lineups when you play your. first $5. Matt, >> we got to riff again. >> I would love for you to riff on uh. >> I don't know what what is the official. team? >> Sixers. Got to be. >> Sixers, obviously. >> Yes, the Sixers. I'm going more maxi, more points. >> Yeah, I like that. >> Yeah, what the heck? Guy's an animal. >> That's great,

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and use code drench to get $50 in lineup. after you play your first $5 lineup. Whoa. That's code drench to get $50 in. lineups after you play your first $5. lineup. Prize picks. All right. Here we. go, guys. Uh, does anyone want to go. first? By the way, I don't want to pig. out. Go ahead, Lamar. Get in there. >> All right. Well, uh, hey everybody. I'm. going to be in Florida, uh, May 5th, May. 6th, May 7th, May 8th, May 9th, and I'll. be back home. But also on May 5th, there's Optimum Knocks at the Creek and. the Cave. So, please check that out. La.

merite.fund and everywhere else. All. right. Thank you. >> Always. >> Uh May 16th is all I got right now. Toronto will be nice, but I believe it's. full. May 16th then you're in Toronto on. May 15th. >> May 15th. Yeah. >> What's up? >> It's a good time to be in the six. >> Is it really? What? In May? >> May 15th. >> Why? I'm in the May 15th. >> The new Drake release. >> Are you going to be there? >> City's going to be going nuts. >> Damn, that's going to be awesome. Well, hell yeah, dude. We can all look forward. to that. And guys, the next day, there's.

some tickets left for the re uh Riviera. Theater in Chicago, Illinois. And yeah, that's May. We We got time, but I'll be. honest, that that one I wouldn't lie to. you, that one's going to sell out. So, come celebrate the end of this part of. the tour in Chicago May 16th. That's it. May 4th, I'm at the Hollywood Bowl in. Los Angeles. May 7th, there's still. tickets available for the May 7th. Thursday show at the at TD Garden in.

Boston. And then that's it. Obviously. July 17th, come watch me have a heart. attack in front of the entire city of. Philadelphia. [ __ ] it, [laughter]. John. >> Albuquerque, Phoenix, San Diego, Los. Angeles, Seattle, Portland, Chicago, New. York, Boston, Pittsburgh, Orlando, Naples, and Tampa, and San Francisco. I'm coming to you this month. >> It's going to be a big month. >> Yeah. JDFmckan.com. Organ hour now. James Donald Forsan. catamaran plan. >> Oh yeah.

>> Big times. >> Yeah. Get in there, Sean. >> Hello everybody. I'll be. >> No. Get in front of the [ __ ] camera. Don't do this cute [ __ ] Just. [ __ ] do it. >> Hello everybody. How's that? No, dude. Just. >> I'll be in Springfield, Missouri. Uh. Tulsa, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma City in. Cincinnati, Ohio in the month of May. Please come. >> Oh my god. >> Sean Gardini.com. Why are you so mad at me? >> I'm not. I'm joking, dude. [laughter]. >> Oh. >> Oh, I got a I got a funny one.

>> Nice. >> Sean's demise. They f guy attacked you. >> We were doing We did the celebrity We. did the celebrity theater in Phoenix and. uh Sean's wrapping up, you know, we're. in the round. It was It was truly just. all of our skills. >> Rule. >> It's [ __ ] sick. >> It's harder than I thought. I was all. cocky. I was like on the round for. [ __ ] 20,000 with Shane. Just unleash. me, dude. I went up there. I was like. cuz Sean was just up there. He stood. pretty still the entire time and I'm. like man he's not moving. What the [ __ ]. That's kind of weird. And as and he.

started like moving around towards the. middle and uh he's doing his closer and. as he's like almost done some guy just. goes [ __ ]. [laughter]. >> [ __ ] It was it was from behind me too. on the page the other day that was like. JFK. He just blew my brains. and he was up high as. Lear. >> He was up high. Yeah, it sucks even. more. It was really loud from up. Yeah, >> he got him. Sean got Sean got revenge. for sure, >> but it was uh it was then I I walked out. there. I'm like, he was like so tight.

and I walk up as soon as I stood up. there. I was like, "Oh, Jesus Christ. This is kind of difficult." And it was. it was fun, but it was a lot harder. >> Yeah. First time I ever did that, I was. with opening with Bert and I literally. just rotated in a circle to my left. [laughter] and then I looked down and. the cord was around my feet. >> Dude, that's the thing. They gave you a. corded mic. So the whole time I was like. trying to it it was fun but I was like. god damn that was I kept slipping into. like I felt like I was like at one point. I kept to myself I'd be like just felt. like Christopher Titus kind of or I had. to be very like and another thing like.

if you like doubt yourself at all you. feel like you I would just fall apart. So I had to just be like. >> yeah I had to be the ultimate performer. I kept laughing myself. I was like, "Dude, you're the ultimate showman right. now." [laughter]. >> Cuz you couldn't you can't like I don't. know, man. >> I'm struggling with that just. [clears throat] in general of like you. got to actually start taking yourself. seriously [laughter]. enough to be a performer. >> Like these dudes helping me with the. roast, writing the roast. Like Mullen is. like, "You got to like you're capable of. this.

>> Like do this the right way. You don't. have to do the whole like. >> disconnected awkward.". >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Like you can do this. And I'm like, "All. right. Yeah. I got it. >> No chance. [laughter]. >> I'm gonna go up there and be like, "Dude, I didn't write these jokes. It's. [ __ ] weird. This one's funny, though. This is uh blah blah blah.". >> No, you did. I thought you did good at. the SPS. I thought I was very It was a. very clean. >> Yeah, but I was still like, "What? You shouldn't have to give up the. I mean, it's like going to Dean Martin. and going, "What if you didn't have so. many drinks before you went out there. tonight?". >> Yeah, exactly. >> Yeah. I I I don't think you need to. switch it up, >> Dean. You don't need to be drunk.

>> I know what you mean, though, cuz when. you're on There is a thing, though. You're on camera. And they were like, "Yeah, it was I felt a similar pressure. was just kind of just for some reason be. in the round. I didn't really I couldn't. be like, "Fuck, man. I don't know." I. had to turn around and be like, "Here's. another thing I'm thinking about that I. I totally believe in as a grid." And the. whole time I had I'm like, "This sucks. You're retarded." And I'm like, "No, be. quiet. We're in the round. >> Titus mode right now. >> It's I don't know why just sits on a. chair and goes 60% of you won't be. looking at me." He doesn't mention it. >> I would have a [ __ ] panic attack,

dude. >> I still believe in the lazy Susan. I. think that would be good. I think the. show I think you should stand still and. the stage should slowly. >> does revolve. But it didn't it wasn't on. for my. >> for bands. Yeah, >> that'd be so sick, dude. That's the one. thing, too. When I was in there, I was. like, I just want to play music so bad. I wish I could just play music in this. place. It'd be awesome. >> Yeah, music would be so much better. >> Go on stage at Zack Ryan and sing a. song. >> That's awesome. >> Sing Lawyers, Guns, and Money. >> How awesome did that feel? >> It was [ __ ] sick. >> Yeah, that [ __ ] rules. It was awesome. Best the whole time when you're like.

doing that, you're you're just the whole. time like this. It was awesome. Just. hitting people with like dumb ideas. about like vaginas are weird. >> You guys cool over there? All right, everyone on board. Let's go. [laughter]. >> I'm a professional. >> Especially in the round when you turn. around, you realize everyone's kind of. checked out a little. >> Yep. >> Like when you turn back around, that's. when people get It's funny cuz they're. being polite, I guess, cuz they don't. get up to go to the bathroom when you're. facing them. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> So like I'll turn around, people be like.

like a teacher. >> There was [laughter]. there was one kid. >> Sit back down. Get off your phone. Phones. >> There was one kid who every time I would. turn his direction, he would be like he. was completely spread out and his I was. just like every time I look at him I'm. like [ __ ] punk. God damn it. Then he. laughed really hard at one thing. I was. like, "Oh god, I got him. He's cool. He's [clears throat] cool. All right, that guy's great.". >> The round is nice though when people are. yelling. >> Yeah, there was. >> somebody yells, I go, "All right, [ __ ]. that corner. I'm never going back." Yep. Now you're on timeout. That was the. other thing, too. They were It was the. rowdiest crowd I'd had in a long So the.

whole time they'd just be like. And it was like, "You this is not the. place for this, guys. Behave yourselves, please." But it was it was very fun. I. had a good time, but I really I was. like, "Dude, that was it was difficult. It was so hard. It was like genuinely. difficult." I was, you know, so my XP. points I got four XP points. I got done. I was like, "All right, I got I leveled. up for sure.". >> Nice. >> And then I went to T always happens to. me. I'm like, I'm going to Tucson right. after this. I'm about to crush it. Literally had a panic attack on stage. I. had to [laughter] just completely just.

kind of s quell within myself like, "Yeah, dude. I don't know, man. I told. you guys I'm married." I'm like, "Fuck, dude." There it happens like every tenth. time [clears throat] I'll have a point. where I'm like seven minutes in. I go. like, "Would it be weird if I took a. break for 5 minutes and came back?" And. I'm like, "Yes, extremely knock this off. right now." And then it just goes away. and it's always a huge relief. I'm like, "All right, cool." Just completely. absorbed whatever that is a break would. be a [laughter]. >> break. >> nuts. But while you're up there, it. feels so good.

>> No, go fellas. I'll be right back. Everybody in 10 minutes, [laughter] get. grab a drink. >> I'm going to go take deep breaths. I'm. going to do box breathing outside. I'll. be right back. >> And I definitely am not coming back. [laughter]. You're never going to get me back on. stage. I'm getting in a car right now. >> I might work it as a bit and just be. like, ah, I was [ __ ] around. I was my. old panic attack bit. I'm back. I just. did the round last night. You guys just. saw me. I was like Titus out there. It. was crazy. be a fun [laughter] Yeah, that could be a fun way to end a show. Like, we're going to take a quick. intermission. I'll be right back. And. just sprint sprint out of the [laughter]. sprint right out.

>> You're building in. You're building in. You say good night early when you want. to go and then because not enough shows. happen. That's where you get your. standing ovation. That's where you get. your little break and then you get your. encore. You get your encore finally. >> Yeah, but I'm like 9 minutes in. >> No, [laughter]. that means that you're really going to. get that encore. You're going to build. eight or nine encores into the show. You. just keep getting to go off, have a. think about it, and come back. >> That's nice. But guys, that's it for me. Thank you. All right, I'll come back. >> Yeah, it would not work at comedy. >> No. Well, you got to train the audience. People got to learn. >> We don't give them the round of.

applause. >> Never be an encore. So, everyone would. just start. They would riot. If I did 10. minutes [laughter]. at a [ __ ]. >> You got to get the word out. You got to. get the word out that it's going to be. encore time. All right. People have to. know. It's like the opera. You know, there's going to be a symphony. You got. You got to teach the audience to encore. >> True. True. It's not fair that we don't. get the encore. >> No, I'm When I'm done, I'm like so happy. to get on. [laughter]. >> No, but not because after 15 minutes. >> going back out with another. >> That's my plan. >> That'd be nice. You could do a little.

You could do a little encore, but man, it's been I I don't know what that does. to my body when I just when I'm like. having and it's just the physical. symptoms. I'll be like, "Oh, what the. [ __ ] that?" And I go, "Oh, great. I. know what that is." And I go, "Anyway, guys." And I'm going to [ __ ] pass. out. This isn't good. This isn't good. And I just go, "No." And my body just. slowly comes back and I'm like that is. some kind of. >> you were wearing the ring that was. telling how you would like the what's it. called? The physical ring. >> The aura ring. >> But then I said how what's it like when. you're on stage and you said I take it. off. I don't want to know. >> Well, you know what? Your heart rate.

through the scare. I wore it one time. I. did it for a whole hour. I was curious. I was like what? I wonder what my body's. up to. You know what's funny? >> It started out like the highest stress. possible and by the end I'm at like. completely restored and peaceful. cuz. I'm like so probably relieved. >> once I get the first 15 minutes I'm. good. >> Yeah. >> But if I start like if something happens. in that first 15 minutes where I or I'll. go like dude I think you skipped a giant. chunk of material and I go what is it? I. don't know. >> I don't remember it but I know I did. >> Dude, you're going to finish with like. you're going to be done with like 27.

minutes left and you're going be [ __ ]. And I'm like no I'm not. Stop. Come on. >> Can I take a break? [laughter]. >> I wish I wish I had that heart monitor. for that or the uh Chicago Friday night. with the audio. Yeah, >> you have seen spikes, cortisol spikes. [laughter] through the brutal. >> [ __ ] roof, dude. >> Anytime there was reverb, I was just. like, "What the how could this be. happening?". >> Yeah, that was Who did this? >> That's [ __ ] brutal. Cuz then you're. like, "Well, maybe it doesn't sound so. bad in the crowd." That was the other. thing. Up on stage, all you could hear.

is there's speakers all around you, so. it's just your voice echoing in your. head and you're just like, "Please make. that stop. >> Please." That's the dumbest thing I've. ever heard anyone say. And it's me. >> and it's coming around from 360°. Stop. >> Yeah, that happens. >> But yeah, that's I was I was happy to. champ that. And every time I walk in. cocky, I go like It was so funny walking. up and being like, "These guys have no. idea. I'm a veteran of the round." And I. just walked up. I was like, "Oh [ __ ]. this [laughter] is crazy. [ __ ] What the. [ __ ] dude? [ __ ] man." And I would.

start a joke here and end it over here. And I'm like, "Fuck, you guys probably. weren't paying attention to the first. part. Shit." that uh [laughter] that. happens. >> Just takes you back to the first It's. the equivalent of Man, these lights are. bright up here. [laughter] This. microphone's pretty loud. This is like. the first time I had sex. >> Yeah, [laughter]. >> it's very unnatural. >> Hey, it gets me every time. But. >> these these bros were at the show in. Nashville and they're like, "How do you. like do you get nervous? Do you how do. you go out there?" And I was like, "I. literally I can't think about it. If I.

take once if before the show, if I'm in. the green room at all and I'm like, "Fuck, there's 20,000 people and I'm. just gonna have to stand there." And the. entire night depends on if I do good or. I just wasted all these people's. [laughter]. >> time and money. It's the most people. ever that anybody's done this and I'm. just going to stand there by myself. >> I mean, you've literally affected. traffic patterns in the city. >> Yeah. >> Like the city has been altered. The. whole economy economy of the city. [laughter] like the local bars.

[laughter]. >> Philly is going to be. >> Yeah, that's going to be wild. Well, when I open for you, I don't It's cuz I. whenever if I'm doing something for. someone else, typically it's just like. there's not even room for like anything. Yeah, cuz I'm like, "This is great. I. can't [ __ ] this up." When it's for. myself, I'm like, "Oh, no, dude. This. sucks.". >> But yeah, it's uh that's going to be. fun. Thankfully, the roast is there to. break up the panic attacks. >> True. >> So, I'll be focused on freaking out. about that. >> You'll be panicking about that couple. months. Yeah, >> that's that's a nice reprieve, >> but the link's going to be sick. That.

will be tight. >> The link is going to be sick. But every. single person in Philly. >> if I go to if like I was in Philly last. year, every single person's like, I'll. see you in July, dude. It's going to be. I'm [laughter] like, >> this is the football stadium gig that. you're doing. What is the capacity? >> It'll be like. >> 100,000. >> Close. No, it'll be close to 80. It'll be the all-time record at the. stadium. >> because it's the round as well. Yeah, obviously. >> Yeah, >> for any event. >> Hopefully. [laughter]. >> Hopefully it goes well.

>> You'll have a great time. >> Sounds like it's going to suck. >> Sounds like a good way to ruin every day. in the leadup to that gig. Yeah. >> Yeah. Every day until July 17th, I'll be. >> I'll be staring at those rens. >> True. >> Now that's nice. Those guys are. >> Dear God, make me a bird and take me fly. far far away. [laughter]. >> Please, I wish I could be one of those. [ __ ] Rens. >> You know what I was thinking about. today? I saw I saw a I guess it's a. crow. What are those birds at the. airport that just [ __ ] scream at you? >> Oh, those are like Austin.

>> crackles, dude. I I love those. >> [ __ ] They are funny. >> I [ __ ] love, dude. I was We was drive. I had to go to like PTA meetings this. morning. So, we're like driving on the. highway. Saw a Grale just chilling on. like where like this homeless guy. usually chills. And I saw he like. >> he became a crackle. >> I think he [laughter] did. I think he. floated down. This thing like floated. down so lightly and landed on this. little like metal thing on the highway. or like where you get off on the. off-ramp and it was just like picking. crumbs out of cigarette butts. And I was. like, how crazy to be a bird just be. flying like this celestial being and.

then you have to just land a [ __ ]. wicked earth and you're just like. picking crumbs out of [ __ ] Then you fly. again beautifully. I saw as soon as I. landed in Austin, I saw two of them. bathing in a puddle on the road and it. was disgusting. [laughter]. Just dirt water. >> Dude, moments ago, they're soaring. majestically. And then. >> birds, there's nothing majestic about. those [ __ ]. >> Those [laughter] things are. >> those things blow, dude. They are some. of the shittiest birds. >> I love them so much. >> They're funny, >> but they just scream. They have no fear.

of people. >> We They're just like mean pigeons. Yeah, >> we got a new bird in Australia called. the it's the noisy Indian minor and. they're an invasive species from India. >> and there these loud I know I know. they're these loud Indian birds that. everyone he goes you got to kill them. but we don't have guns and we don't have. BB guns so you got to find creative ways. >> you guys can't have BB guns. >> no you can't have a BB gun but this is. the all the bird people used to work for. a bird charity and everything's like we. love birds we got to protect birds and. then they'd be like the Indian bird. [ __ ] kill that bird if you find that.

bird. >> you guys don't even know you guys aren't. evenowed I know there's no government. say you're going to shoot your eye out. [laughter]. >> The government says it's going to get lo. >> I want a red rod and a BB gun. >> No. [laughter]. >> It's one of the many problems we're. encountering. >> So, what's the. >> There's no way you guys are not allowed. to have BB guns. >> What about in the outback, dude? What if. you live in the [ __ ] outback? >> I've never seen a BB gun in Australia. >> What? >> Okay. Wait, you've never seen? >> No, I don't believe we're allowed to. have them. >> You must not be cuz if you were allowed. I feel like Yeah, that's actually.

probably a good rule. Australians should. not have. >> all that white trash DNA and no BBs. That's crazy, dude. >> Dude, there's nothing better than your. older cousin being like, dude. >> Yeah, dude. >> Check this [ __ ] out and be like, I'm so. scared of that. >> I don't even want to hold that. I'm too. [laughter] scared. >> I remember someone I remember the pump. action. >> Are they allowed to have them? >> They have to be allowed to have toy. guns. >> They're not this. It says they're just. highly regulated and treat classified as. fire. >> I got my BB permit. >> You got [laughter] to have You got to. have a license for a BB gun. That's what. it seems like. Yeah, you need a proper.

license and registration. >> What? >> Or else it's a criminal offense. >> How are the bin chickens doing? >> I like those guys. >> We like those big tourists taking. pictures of them. We look like [ __ ]. morons. >> There was a Vietnamese guy who was. >> I knew I knew we were going to. Yeah. >> Do you know this story? >> No. >> Oh, it was this was a story on the news. a while ago in in Sydney where a guy was. like killing him and eating them and he. got in trouble and he was like a. Vietnamese guy and he was going, "You're. allowed to do it back home." And then. later on the news story they're like. allowed to do it back home in the state.

north of in Queensland you're allowed to. do it. Everyone thought he meant. Vietnam. He's an odd Vietnamese. [laughter] man just killing street birds. but he meant Queensland. Anyway, it was. a fun. >> in Queensland apparently you can eat. them. Yeah, >> that's nice. >> They're big. >> What do these Indian birds do? >> You they just squawk and they they're. invasive. They push the other birds out. and they work in groups. There's about. 15 of them bullying our sweet native. local birds. >> No. Damn. [laughter]. >> All right. is really funny. >> Dang. >> You know, just a big gang of the Indian. mothers will [clears throat].

feel like the bird the gang mate. >> lonely Australian [laughter] bird. >> Yeah. >> You know, on a bus or something. >> Dang, that's crazy. >> Yeah, it's not right. >> I was just listening to it make bird. sounds for like two minutes. It just. sounds like a regular bird. >> Like the the Indian bird. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It just sounds like a regular. bird. I think this is a. >> Well, how how versed are you? >> You're pro. You're pro. >> I love bird noises, dude. That's. >> they get rid of our big We got big. beautiful strange birds that they're. driving out. We got cookabara.

over there. >> Birds of paradise. Rifle birds. >> We got so many. We got the casawary. They're very scary. They kill British. people every now and again. >> Those are scary. >> So what does the cucka bear do again? I. know it does. >> Sits in the old gum tree. Very king of. the bushes. Just laughs at you. >> Laugh. Cookabar laugh. Cookabar must be. That's our song. We have. >> you'll be birded out. We I mean we got. to clamber up, man. We gota at least in. inspect the site. >> I would love nothing more than for us to. install it and I'll share the app with.

you. You can also have the bird watching. app and we can stare at them together. because we'll both get the. notifications. [laughter]. >> Dude, >> and I'll go out there at night. sometimes. >> That's what the Patreon give you a. notification. >> Patreon is a live bird feed now. >> I would love that. >> Bird feed. It's a feed. Bird feed. I like that. Anyway, [laughter]. >> it's good. >> Have to pay for this. >> Maybe we can tweet the Hey, maybe we can. tweet the bird feed, too. [laughter]. >> Matt, now see you guys see how much. better this is than our uh pedophile 30.

minute show. >> True. >> Talking birds. That's fun. >> I forgot all about it. >> And we managed to make the bird thing. racist, which I like. [laughter]. >> And of course, La Mer defended the. [ __ ] invasive species. [laughter]. You're an invasive species. >> [laughter]. >> What do you have? >> You got anything to say, dude? >> It just seems like a nice regular bird. That's all I'm saying. >> Get them out. Lock them up. [laughter].

>> Kill having to be like having to kill. like a bird for your government would be. kind of chill. >> Oh, god damn it. I'm the dumbest guy. ever. >> What? >> Uh my car that got destroyed. They were. like, "Do you have anything in here?" I. was like, "No, it's got my social. security, birth certificate, every. single thing I own is. >> Has it been made into a car? >> Don't worry about it. [laughter]. >> Why? >> Cuz I had to get my driver's license.". >> Uh, [snorts] damn. Someone could just. steal your identity. >> You're going to walk go up to the. [ __ ] link some guys and be like, "Hey.

guys, anyway." [laughter]. >> He's just crushing. You're like, "Get. him off.". >> God damn. This guy's good. [laughter]. >> Just murdering. Trump impression, >> huh? >> Turns out all you do need is a Trump. impression. [laughter]. >> You are in a weird position of getting. to pick the car now. It's a huge. identity moment. >> I know. And I don't know what car to. pick. >> I think you get one of those Houston low. ones with the big spikes coming out.

either side of the wheels. Really. surprised people. >> I can't do that. >> Why not? >> It's crazy. >> It's time. It's time. It's. >> too much attention. That be You got to. go sleek. very sleek, you know what I mean? >> I liked my car. >> That was That was a nice car for you. >> Yeah, >> I'm I'm in the my my CRV is still. rocking. So, I gota like I'm going to. ride it out, but I got every car I pick, everyone's like that's the gayest thing. ever. Jeep Gladiator. Thought Jeep. Gladiator could be a cool girl dad car. >> I thought I could get a cool car and. somebody's like that's for real so gay.

[laughter] Like, all right, well then. you tell me what the [ __ ] like get a. get a Raptor. It's like I'm not driving. a [ __ ] Raptor. >> Yeah. I don't. >> You're not a pickup truck guy. SUV. I. I've seen you drive a Suburban. >> SUVs are nice. >> You're nice in the SUV. I I've been. driving trucks everywhere. I when I. drive for any show, I rent trucks to go. from city to city. >> It's kind of fun. Just been driving. every new pickup truck to see which one. I like. But. >> I tell you though, the people mode. I'm. back in a people mode. I'm back in a. minivan equivalent. 2000 Japanese. Toyota. >> Beautiful fabric seats. It's got a V6.

engine in it. >> I've looked at the retro. >> It's nice. >> Well, everyone's saying don't buy a new. car. Everyone, everyone who's like a. hardcore car guy is like, "Don't buy. anything new right now. Get like in. something old or you know been made like. 10 years ago and just I don't know why. I don't know. I don't I wish I knew. about cars. My brother almost convinced. me to do a Cybert truck. It's so easy to. Oh, I was like, "Yeah, I'll just do that. cuz there are 0% interest right now.". >> I'd like that. >> That's nice. Yeah. >> Yeah. The Land Cruiser. >> The 1997. >> I mean, you probably you're connected.

enough. >> You could get the Whimo things on. You. could buy whatever car you want to buy. your own Whimo. Then you can drive. anytime. >> James, you're on to something about. that. >> You're one of the only people in the. world who might be able to get on the. phone to the Whimo Corporation say I. should have the world's first private. Whimo. >> That would be I Dude, I honestly love. >> everywhere I go. Everyone's [ __ ] with. the car. [laughter]. >> Also, no highway travel. I'm drinking. and driving the whole time. Just. [laughter] like you want to [ __ ] with. me. >> Just [ __ ] losing my mind every trip.

>> [gasps]. >> Yeah, I was going to do a Whimo to meet. my kids somewhere and it was like it was. like a 20-minute drive and I'm like I'll. get him to Whimo. It was like an hour. and 20 minutes. I was like, "All right, let me just I maybe. >> you custom fit your own Whimo. You get a. bed put in there, >> bro. >> You just get to lie down. Go sleep.". >> I would like to lay down more. >> Yeah, [laughter] this is my idea. This. is what I think Whimo should be doing. >> Like have not stood up for a day, >> dude. Instead of flying, you fly for an. hour and a half, you get to the new. city. This is my idea. beautiful bed in.

a Whimo. You just go to sleep. Drives. you to the city. You wake up eight hours. later. >> Between between the plane and Whimo, you. could have a segue where you just kind. of you get tied to it and you just lean. against [laughter]. >> sleep on that [ __ ] just takes you to. >> I think I'm just inventing paraplegia. That's what I'm going for. >> Like a guy sleeping on a horse just tied. to the saddle. [laughter]. >> That'd be a fun thing. We should start. getting the heroin people on Segway. >> Segways hit them that they hit that. [ __ ] lean forward. That thing's going. 90 miles an hour. [laughter] That would.

be [ __ ] crazy. >> Their noses are like right over the. ground. [laughter]. >> That'd be nice though to be like, "All. right, put them on Segways and just. point them north and be like, "Yeah, get. [laughter]. >> Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, Austin's. just those [ __ ] shitty birds and. homeless people.". >> True. >> Those two I I've always seen them. together. >> That's a very symbiotic relationship. >> They do. They do. They do. So they that. that bird was just eating like homeless. crumbs basically. I was watching it just. pick at just like weird [ __ ].

>> like they're elephants. >> The what? >> Like their elephants. Like the birds are. on them. >> Yeah. Cleaning their teeth. [laughter]. >> Yeah. That's good. >> That's why they're screaming at the. airport. They're just picking little. particles out of their teeth like. [laughter]. >> It's so weird. It's weird to see it. again. >> H. >> we have We don't have crack in. Australia. We just have methamphetamine. It's It's a slightly different. >> Yeah. >> homeless person. >> Yeah. For Yeah. It's way more. >> crack people are a little more they're. in a fantasy land slightly more. There's. there's the mood is improved and uh I.

don't know there's a spirit of joy about. it but the meth people it's just. disagree more. No meth people are skip. spookier I find. >> Yeah. They're more like politically. tapped. >> more ready to have violence. More ready. to question your ideas. >> Yeah. I'm not saying I'm saying the the. people the people in Austin are [ __ ]. evil. >> I've never walked by a [ __ ] homeless. guy and be like he's having a good time. They're literally having audible. arguments. There's a theater about like. that woman who wears caution tape. instead of clothing. >> You know, she's having an experience. she's doing.

>> Yeah. >> I don't know if I've seen her. >> They're funnier, man. Crack people are. funnier. Remember the street joke guy in. Philly who would come up, I got a joke. for you guys. >> Yes. >> That was that's me. >> But I I don't see them here. >> I don't see the crack homeless people. here. The I see the angry. >> That's more of a Philly thing. You're. right. >> A lot of angry homeless people. >> Meth is pretty big here too now, though. Meth made meth kind of like piggybacked. heroin cities pretty hard where it would. kind of like come in and a lot of the. heroin guys got into meth as well. >> Jets's a bad one. Meth is the worst. Phoenix is meth city, dude. >> Yeah, Phoenix is awesome.

>> Phoenix was bad. Me and Nate saw [ __ ]. or me and Sean saw needles on the ground. walking around. I was like, >> I don't I don't want to make everything. about Oklahoma, but last [laughter] time. I was in Oklahoma, they'd cut the uh. when you go to fill up your like someone. had a flat tire and you go to do that. and they cut the the tip off at the gas. station that you used or it's called the. needle. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And they said they cut the needles off. for drugs. And I thought they were using. they were like [ __ ] jamming that into. their arms. But they use it like a pipe. >> It's a perfect pipe. So they they just. don't have them uh that you can't fill. your tire up in Oklahoma.

>> Should piss me off. >> It's not right. >> Yeah, that would piss me off. But yeah, meth. I would agree. Meth is I think one. of the If I had to have moved to a city, I got to pick the drug everyone's on. Meth is. >> Heroin's pretty chill. >> Pick heroin for sure. >> Heroin. Yeah. Just lay down. >> Heroin's meth would be the worst. You. think? >> Yeah, I think so. Because they get like. real You know, it's a very like I got to. do this thing now. Yes. >> Kind of drug. >> Is the head moves differently. We got a. lot. We still Australia only got really. everyone's gone away and meth is but. it's the the head moves like this and.

people get skinny and. >> Yeah. >> sweating and the. >> be. >> I'm back on public transport and I'm. seeing it. It's um our buses are not as. spooky as yours, but they still. >> That's why it's it's weird when you get. one. No, I'm No comment. You're doing a. You're doing a smile, you know. Can you. can you do uh takeouts now? Is Australia. still anti- take or like take away food. from the restaurant kind of thing? >> Uh yeah, food poisoning. We sometimes. we're disagreeable about it. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> I remember we tried to take their food. >> We tried to take our food like you guys.

can't have that. I was like what? >> I've convinced neither of you to come. back for a show. >> Yeah, I'm not. >> It's the flight. I like Australia. It's. the flight. I It's just brutal, bro. I. don't know how you bouncing back and. forth, >> huh? >> 14 lovely hours. I had a great time. I. watched Succession for the first time. >> That's nice. It's pretty good. >> Yeah. >> I'll never watch I watched the. >> I watched season 4. I never watched any. other season. >> Oh, no. >> That's like the worst way to watch. [laughter] It's so good, man. >> I could tell was beautiful. I got the. picture. >> Yeah. They go, "We're going to do it.

It's time for us to take the company.". >> No, they all suck. They're all weak. Same thing. So, the episode where he. goes, "You're not serious people." And I. thought, I've said that before. I've. said that to people. >> I like when uh I don't know what season. it is when the the old man goes to the. like liberal news station. and he goes, "Thank you for welcoming welcoming us. Romans into your Greek in amongst your. Greek city." It was just a funny weird. rich guy thing to say. Remember, I have. no idea what he's talking about. I'm. like, "Dan, that sounds so cool.". >> Yeah, it's awesome. >> Wish I now now that I've studied Rome, I. know what he's talking about. >> Speaking of, >> dude, I um. >> You think it's time for the Patreon?

>> We I have to We're going to do it this. week. We already did We did the page. this week. Next week, we're going to. have a Dude, I have 19 pages of notes. typed about the fall of Rome. just like. the beginning of Julius Caesar crossing. the Rubicon. Why he did it? What's the. foundational myths of Rome? What shaped. the Roman citizens identity? >> I wish I could be here for that. That's. my. >> dude. Yeah, you were [ __ ] you minor. I didn't know you had a minor. >> but also at some point I I want to put. pressure. I'm happy to do it publicly. that the Civil War podcast is. >> All right, I'll do it. Just. >> you'll do it.

>> Do you want to do it now? Do you want to. do it? >> Give me a minute. I am [laughter] I'm. thinking about little Sherman and Grant. podcast episode. >> Okay, >> let's discuss Sherman and Grant. see. what they were up. >> You don't want to start with the call. You could rattle off the top of your. head causes of the war of northern. aggression. >> Oh, brother. [laughter]. Oh, brother. >> You've got an hour in you for that. >> Maybe. blacks. >> There was a dog. [laughter]. Industrialization. >> The forest of industrialization.

>> I'm all right with that. Yeah, we could. I'll do that. It's nice. It' be nice. just to We'll just We can start. researching stuff. >> Yeah. >> It's time. >> Sherman. Sherman and Grant are the bros. It's time for you guys. Nate, it's time. for you to learn about Sherman and. Grant. >> North or South? >> These are northern guys. >> You listen Grant. >> Okay, I'm all in. >> William Tecumpsa Sherman. >> I'm in. >> Anyway, >> that should be it, huh? >> Yeah, I think we did it.

>> Great job. >> Yeah, we tease we teased some future bit. of a CTA, you know, a little CTA mix in. there. Nice. >> That's what it's all about. CTA. >> Good to see you, Giant. >> Thank you for having me, >> dude. Thank you, man. Sto said that I. had to go away. >> almost immediately. >> Yeah, but dude, we'll reunite. How cool. is that? >> We'll be together in Canada. >> What are you guys doing? >> Same place. Toronto. We'll be in. Toronto. >> The agent has for some reason put us. both in Canada on the same night. >> Kind of a wild miss. >> But it means we'll get to hang out. >> True. >> But everything's good. >> Ethan. >> Yeah, but we're both we're both all our.

shows are both at capacity, so we're. >> good to go. >> That's uh it still is kind of weird. Yeah, >> it's very strange. I I'll see it every. now and with Sodor somewhere where I'm. kind of like, why are we at the same. place? >> I don't like that. >> Who are you bringing to Toronto? >> CJ. He's from CJ. >> No, not not CJ. Sorry, AJ. Sorry, my. bad. I'm getting my my boys mixed up. AJ, I'll bring AJ. >> Okay. >> Going alphabetical order. >> Not HJ. >> AJ. [laughter]. >> Hungry Jacks. >> I'll be I'll be supplying the.

>> They're a big sponsor of the Adelaide. Crows, who by the way, season's turning. around. It's going to be all right. The. >> Crow Boys. I heard big Texas. He had six kicks. >> Five. He had five goals. Nice. >> And it was fantastic. I can really We. make it to the finals. >> And you called him. >> Wow. Wow. Wes. >> Whoa. >> Whoa. Now, [laughter] cut that. Cut that. >> And then James McCann said, >> "Cut that.". >> I said, "How?" I said, "How are the. crows doing?". >> I need that on me. Cut.

>> Didn't we have a nice wholesome moment. before we mentioned the football? >> [laughter]. >> That was a good place to end the pod. >> All right, >> I do believe it's probably overtime. >> Goodbye, Cry Boys. >> My hero. [laughter]. >> Yeah, you would never want to do that. >> Trust me. All right, >> bye. >> Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane. Secret podcast on Spotify. >> Do it.