Ep 609 - Mega Heider (feat. Corey Heider & Nate Marshall)

Wow. Wow. Wes. >> and [laughter]. Cory Hider. What's going on, dude? What. the hell's happening? [laughter]. >> But I was just saying what a joyous. occasion it was to meet up. You were. telling us about the people of Where was. that? >> Pittsburgh. >> What? >> No, the the the tribes. >> The tribe. I found the eagle and the. snake. >> The Incas and Aztecs. Yeah. >> Oh, yeah. >> Tanakalon. We was talking about. Tanakalon just a moment ago. >> Tanakalon. >> Yeah. And I just I like that. Yeah. It's. a great. >> They finally settled. >> on on straight willpower. They they.

waited. They didn't settle. You know. what I mean? So ladies out there, don't. settle. That's what you say. Don't. settle. >> True. What do you think of the modern. dating market right now? >> Oh, man. Well, I'm glad to be out of it. So, I am, brother, cuz it is. It's like. going bass fishing in a portaotty out. there, brother. >> It is. [laughter] It is. >> I can't tell if that means it's super. easy. >> So, no, you do not want to catch bass in. a port. No bueno. No bueno. Hold on. To Nate's. point, it is easy.

>> Yeah. Yeah. >> You might be you might be knocking turds. around, but to Nate's point, you're. going to catch. >> you got a turd out. >> Nothing I'd want to eat, though. Nothing. I'd want to eat. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. I uh Yeah. I I peed in a porta. potty like two days ago. I don't know if. this was on purpose, but somebody. clogged up the urinal in the portaotti. with toilet paper. It looked like it. like a. >> somebody did it intentionally, and it's. like, why. >> create a hell? >> Yeah. Why would you want to disable the. pee option? >> You're going to hurt the own guy trying. to help you.

>> It was really weird. I was like, >> I have a theory about homeless people. that they thrive in [ __ ] up. conditions. Like they want it as bad as. possible. >> Damn. Then when the portaotti na they. see a portaotti and they're like not. nasty enough. >> Not nasty enough. Clog it with paper. towel or toilet paper. Piss on it. Make. it. >> Some money Some men want money. Some. want power. Some just want to watch the. world burn. [laughter]. >> What's What's the nastiest portaotty you. think you've ever potty? Dude, I've seen. one that breached. >> No, breach water. Yeah. >> No, not breach water. This [laughter].

>> Yeah, brother. You're talking about the. [ __ ] portal. >> above sea level cuz she was up. >> You couldn't sit on [laughter] it. You. would have been penetrated by. everything. I don't know how the last. person done it. They must have had a. step ladder. >> That would have truly been Montazuma's. revenge. [laughter]. >> Oh my god. >> You saw there was a [ __ ] mountain. [laughter]. >> No, dude. >> I'm telling you. >> I believe you. But I'm telling you, I. didn't think that was possible. >> Yeah. Could you Well, what here? Okay, so here's the dynamic of it. The last. two, three PE or last serious. gamechanging last person cuz they they.

would have had done the [laughter] last. four or five pounds, bro. >> They had to put the keystone on the. [ __ ] you know, [laughter]. >> the peak. That was the peak. >> That dude, that had it had to have been. Asian. Really? You know what I mean? Get. down on the squat, the Japanese squat, bro. They had to been facing the. outboard wall, not the door. >> It'd be funny, too, if it was just a. single. It's just a mountain of. diarrhea, but then a single solid. [laughter] turd. >> just floating like an iceberg. >> Usually guys been eating broccoli and. rice and chicken. It's just a 12 in. turd. Usually goes the other way. I get.

the plug and then the break cuz on keto, you know what I mean? You get that. cheese plug cuz I've been holding. [laughter] back for two days or you get. one that you turn. Sometimes you see it. Oh, you did a full Youth. That's what's. been happening. That [ __ ] tried. to go back on a oneway. You can't be. [laughter] That's a Uhuh. >> Yeah, it does suck when you get it. you. like when you poop and it's the shape of. your intestines and you're like, "Oh. man, >> that's good." Then you clean that out. You're like, "I'm good for at least, you. know, 18 inches in there." [laughter]. >> True. You're ready.

>> How's the uh So, how is the keto going? How long you been on keto? >> Oh, dude. On and off. So, I started. started. Seriously, dude. I was like 385. pounds. I was like, I got to either die. from this or figure something out. True. >> I was like, I could eat salads and go to. the gym every day. And I was like, no, that sounds like some [ __ ] [ __ ] right? [laughter] I can't. I can't, dude. I. went to the gym one time. I was like, I'm sweaty. I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna. go home and figure it out. And then um I. just saw an internet article that said. if you eat hot dogs wrapped in cheese. until you feel like you're going to have. a heart attack, like run that six, seven. months, cuz [laughter] right six, seven.

months, just run it, dude. And that's. what I did every lost weight, brother. >> I would There would be times where I. walk past a mirror, I'd be like, who the. [ __ ] Oh my god. How much you say your. peak was. >> sagging, dude? My peak was 385. >> So. >> touching fours. >> Yeah, dude. Touching fours. That's what, bro? And this is like I used to watch. Robin Big back in the day and Big was so. big. Like. >> you probably don't notice. You probably. never knew this. A home scale typically. only goes to 330 lbs. Like if you're. bigger than that, go to the hospital. >> Does it say error? >> This ain't a Walmart. Yeah. It's just.

zero. It's just like, yeah, error. Error. on the electric ones. Or the other ones. I love them ones cuz at least you could. still tell. You're like 330 plus. [laughter]. one. Okay. I should, you know. >> So it would just be like No. >> Yeah. So back in the day, right, me and. my boy was scrapping metal for drugs, just like any good hardworking American, [laughter] right? And we was at the. scrap yard, right? And there was this. guy that looked like the dude that lived. in the pit in Water World. That's the. only way I can describe him. [laughter]. >> He had never seen the sun, bro. And he. just lived in scrap. He died by scrap, bro. [laughter] He didn't leave his sh.

his scrap shed. Yeah. And I went in. there and he had the scale and I was. like, "How high that go?" He's like 25, 3500 lb. I was like, "Can I stand on it? You mind if I stand on it real quick?". He's like, "385." He's like, "God damn, boy." I was like, "Yeah, [laughter]. that's that ain't good, is it?" And I. was like, "How much?" Just trying to. like divert. I was like, "How much you. get for for scrapping somebody like. that?" He's like, "After you boil a man. down to the bare minerals, they're only. worth about 12 11 cents." [laughter]. >> I was like, "Oh, that's either the first joke this guy. has ever told her, we should get the. [ __ ] out of here." Okay. [laughter].

Pretty pretty quick. >> What were you What were you scrapping. that day? What did you get your hands. on? >> I'm going to say stainless steel, dude. It was a stainless steel uh hospital. cabinet. Weighed about 400 lb. I'm the. same as me. It's not a bad haul. >> Oh, dude. >> How much does it make for a haul like. that? >> Oh, dude. We made like four or five perk. 30s. [laughter]. >> They They really do. They do cut the um. If they think you're on drugs, you don't. get the real scrap price. >> I know, dude. It's like a bartering. system. They're like, I know I stole it,

but you know, >> I've seen it in action. I've seen like. two dude like tweakers come up in like a. shopping cart full of wire, >> dude. They're like $30. And I'm looking. at it like that looks like a little more. than that. You get like a tweaker price. They rip you. They just [ __ ] crush. it. >> They know. You're just like, "Yeah.". Right off the top. >> They You'll say yes to anything. >> Yeah. >> So yeah, they It's really funny. >> Burnt. Yeah. You got your burnt wire. >> Dude, the scrap game, especially on any. job site, it's there's more problems on. a job site due to the scrap and how it's. getting like, you know, who gets it? Is. people are people like sneaking it,

stealing it? It's I've It's just like a. never- ending drama. >> It's insane, dude. That's like literally. 20 25% of my job is calling the cops cuz. someone stole the [ __ ] copper pipes. and now we got to rep the whole house. >> Yeah, dude. It's just wild. >> Yeah, people go through your house like. your entire house and just just pull out. everything. >> Yeah, dude. It's like trying to keep. apples away from raccoons. You ever do. that? >> No, [laughter]. >> bro. Bro, they'll break through your. house vents. They will sneak through. your [ __ ] vents like Tom Cruz and. Mission [ __ ] Impossible. [laughter]. They will scale down. They will unlock.

your door, let in their homies. I I I. had one try to break it. I think I told. you before. I had a raccoon try to break. into the crib. I just had his little. This is back when I was living in. Jersey. Just a paw reaching through like. where my uh my air [laughter]. conditioner like was like closed just so. it was a little paw. >> I just grabbed my hatchet. I was about. to hatch his paw off. >> You could have cut his hand off like. >> I didn't know what it was at first. >> Chief [laughter]. cut the thief's hand off. >> Just hold it just rules real quick. >> You should have shook his hand. >> Damn. >> My neighbor had pet raccoons.

>> Had a pet raccoon. >> Pet raccoons. And he fed it Urkl cereal. Urkel. I swear [laughter] to God. >> Did he do that? >> That feels [ __ ] up, >> dude. I remember going up there. I. remember being like, "Damn, I've never. had Urkl cereal. I want cereal so bad. Those [ __ ] raccoons are going to eat. it right out the box.". >> You just throw it in there. Feed it. >> Oh, okay. I thought you get down in. there with it. What's good? [laughter]. Let me sample. >> They were cool. They were actually. raccoons are cool. >> They're cool ass animals, but they're. just I don't know. They're just dirty. >> bear family technically. >> Kind of dope. Bear definely cut his paw.

>> Mini bear. >> Shout out to Ursus Major. >> Ursus. [laughter]. >> So, we should probably uh you know the. the way I found you. Actually, it was uh. Brandon from Ruff House. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. He's the man. Dude, the videos are. so good just going through, you know. So, like what do you do? What? Like, explain. [snorts] Okay. Your thing. >> Okay. Okay. So, I'm a contractor by. trade, right? But all the houses see. this is the hook, right? It's like one. of them magic Paul Monkey Paul genie.

wishes right like you get to be a. contractor but every house you go into. is filled with [ __ ] and diapers and dead. things. How about [clears throat] that? You [laughter] like that? You looking. for work? How about that? Huh? How about. that for a pandemic job? [laughter]. It's better than being like the Home. Depot installer guy. They're I think. they're like absolute underworld of. contractors. The guy who puts in like a. door a screen door from Home Depot and. it's like like dude Nate you could sign. up today. >> and just be that guy. >> and be the guy. I would like to do that. >> And then when you get there, you go, "Oh, I got to go up two flights of. steps. That's an additional $37.

Bring this [ __ ] the [laughter] [ __ ]. upstairs, man. I'll give you a tip. >> Stop charging me extra shit." He's like, "Do you want the really long nail that. like sets it in like deeply?" I'm like, "That'd be nice." Like, that's an. additional $59. Like, dude, what the. [ __ ]. >> Nickel and diamond you, >> bro. Home Depot contractors come out and. it's it's the old dog and pony show. They It's like they get they're they're. like a [ __ ] Vegas escort. They're. like, they show up. It's like, I thought. it was 300 bucks. Like, well, that's to. get here. That's just. >> now it's going to be a couple hund. Yeah, they're [ __ ] [ __ ]. >> You need to get your own contractor. >> That would be tight,

>> dude. What do you Oh, what's stopping. you? >> Do it. >> Lack of know. Lack of technical. knowledge. >> Just grab one. Grab one. Grab Just grab. a dirty just a dirty thick man somewhere. out. You know what I mean? >> I'm so glad. [laughter]. >> Just a just a dirty thick man out in the. street somewhere. You know what I mean? You'd be like, "What are you up to?". Huh? You got You want to be on my. retainer? You want to be on retainer? I. used to my I used to uh paint houses. with my friend Spud and he was he like. trained me. I can like I can actually. house paint. That's one thing I can do. >> But he was all mechanic. He was all.

technical. So I would do a lot of like. talking to the people for him. >> So I I know how I know enough and he. would laugh because I I know enough. I'm. good with like lingo so I can like. [ __ ] and really make it seem like I. know what I'm talking about. So I would, you know, he'd get a kick out of me. So. I'd walk around customers like, "Oh. yeah, okay." And I like talk talk talk. and turn. I'm like, "Dude, what the [ __ ]. are we how do you do?" [laughter]. So yeah, I could be I could be the guy. with the iPad, like the clean tucked in. polo that shows up being like, "Yeah, all right. Let me I'm [snorts] going to. have one of my guys come out.". [laughter] You would literally be the.

Home Depot installer. Yeah. >> It all comes full circle, Matt. Yeah. >> Yeah. 500% markup. >> Have no idea. >> So you you made the Monkey Paul Genie. wish. You got your wish to be a. contractor, but you it's it's like the. underworld of like just [ __ ] up. houses. >> Terrible. >> You're recording it, dude. It's. >> I got so used to it, though. It's crazy. what you can get used to. >> Yeah, >> that's what I mean, bro. That's why I. see my my buddy's granddad who was in. Nom. I seen the way he looks at fire and. I'm like, how do you get used to that? You know what I mean? He just looks at.

it like he's seen piles of bodies burn. You know what I mean? And now I'm just. saying. And now I go, [laughter]. >> it's a it's a wild look to see on a. man's eye just staring at the flame like. you. Any one of you going to move? [laughter]. >> I'm like, "Oh, man. Dude, this is wild, dude.". >> So, you walk into the houses and you. just You're ready. You go in over. >> completely. [laughter]. What's the worst thing? What's the worst. thing you've seen in I think you may. have showed me? >> I may have showed you and we may not be. able to talk about on you. Can we talk? Yeah. Can we talk? What's the rules? I. don't know. >> You [clears throat] can talk about. anything. I think you just can't show it. on.

>> Okay. >> So, there's just this one time that you. know, well, you go in the house and. first off, ground rules. You break into. the house. >> Yeah. >> Right. So what I do looks a lot like. crime, which [laughter] is great because. that's what I used to do, too. So I'm. like, this is my my alley, right? So we. break in the second floor window, right? Cuz it was unlocked. You go up, scroll. up, do ladder through the roof. Okay. You go in the house. They all stink. Yeah. >> Right. Cuz what are they filled with? You don't know. Is there is there a rat. king in here? We don't know. We don't. know, dude. We're not familiar. So you.

go in through whatever bedroom you just. came through, right? And he's like, we're with the bank. Are you like. straight through a window or something? Straight through the window cuz there. could be people in there too. That's the. scary part with the bank. I got a gun. [laughter]. >> I got brass knuckles. You know what I. mean? All that [ __ ] Just walking. through tough as [ __ ] cuz. dirty sweaters. >> Not afraid to go back to jail. [laughter]. >> You know what I mean? Absolutely. And. the whole house stinks, right? So. because the fridge had been unplugged. for Christ knows, you know what I mean?

So the whole thing is just from ground. level is no bueno. So when you go in. there and there maybe has been a lady. laying face down in the kitchen for 11. months, you might not know right away. You might not know right away. They. don't tell you that. You know what I. mean? That's all the paperwork usually. >> So yeah. >> So what do you do when you find that? Like what's the next [laughter]. >> you have to Yeah, dude. I ain't. >> Uh-uh. Not on my watch, buddy. >> Nope. Nope. Nope. You give it the double. tap real quick. You know what I mean? I. got boots on. Ain't no big deal. >> I'm going to hit you with the play dead.

trick. Stab me in the neck. You measure. twice and cut once. [laughter]. >> So that's Yeah, you got to give the tag. >> You got to make sure you don't turn your. back on a corpse. >> No, never. >> I've learned that from every movie. And. I'm not fast. I'm not If you're already. on the ground, this the only shot I got. to win this zombie but [laughter]. >> dude. Curb stomp out, cud. [laughter]. >> So you stumbled across the dead. RIP. >> sometimes. Yeah. Like what did you. really feel the first time? That's even. at a funeral. I'm kind of jarred at the.

viewing. >> Yeah, I didn't care. Um, [laughter]. >> I forgot you're glazed over. >> I'm in I see I had a real [ __ ] up. childhood that we're not allowed to talk. about ever. I know. I promised everyone. I wouldn't. I would never say, but so. compartmentalization is like, >> boy, she's on point, bro. [laughter] If. if it wasn't, I'd be in therapy right. now. Not here. You know what I mean? I'd. be [ __ ] up on the street somewhere. >> You just became fun, basically. >> I was like, you got two two choices. here, bro. You can either get real. [ __ ] up or you can become the life of. the party. Okay, what are we going to.

do? >> Got two avenues, cousin. Okay, let's. never talk about any of this [ __ ] again. [laughter] I mean, that's I always say. if I had if I had a nickel for every. time I got molested, I have one nickel I. never talked about. [laughter]. [laughter]. >> Say, wait, what was the question? I'm. sorry. [laughter]. You were just talking about Yeah. Just. your skill counting. >> locked in.

Ain't nothing going to break my stride. Ain't nothing going to hold me down. >> Absolutely not. Absolutely not. >> So, okay. Dead grandma. That's okay. We. still got other jobs to do. Okay. So, hold on. Let me call somebody. What's. this? 911. No, that's not an emergency. [laughter]. >> Let me find Hold on. >> Let me find a local number real quick. So, I call up Yeah. The priest. Yeah. I. need a old priest and a young priest and. maybe a F250 Superduty with a morg slab. in the back maybe. Okay. You call the. guy who collects deer. Did I ever tell.

you about the guy who collects deer? >> No, >> brother. You We should get his. Instagram, but I don't think he can work. a phone. He got them thumbs. Um, but. anyway, so this guy right with his. thumbs. >> Don't even worry about it. [laughter]. >> If you got to ask, if you got to ask, you can't afford it. Okay. [laughter]. [laughter]. >> So, anyway. Okay. Okay. So, I'm driving. down the street, right? And I see this. guy cut off Dale Nhard shirt, right? Hat. on, glasses on the hat, not even on his.

[ __ ] eyes, right? Marble hanging out. of his mouth. Real loose. Real [ __ ]. Hope is the only thing holding that. thing in his mouth. Hope in his dry ass. lips from being in the sun and chucking. deer all day. [laughter] So, he's got. Okay, so he's got a 1999 Chevy Silverado. 53. [ __ ] great motor. And he. [laughter] all rusted out, right? bed. falling off the [ __ ] thing already. stacked with deer ranging from that. [ __ ] still looks good to jerky. cousin straight jerky that boy had been.

bleeding out for weeks. >> and he is on the side of the road. cigarette hanging out bare hands I can't. bend down now cuz mic he grabs his. [ __ ] and just heaps it on the. pile and gets no gloves short cut off. >> brother the same shirt no shower. >> I'm like this guy be stacking corpses. dirty so that goes Back to the point. You can get used to a lot of [ __ ] for. money. >> Where? Wait, where did you encounter. this guy though? >> On the side of the road. >> Where else do you get deer corpse? [ __ ]. >> Well, he was getting the dead deers now.

He wasn't even hunting. >> Roadkill. I'm sorry. Yes, I should. I'm. from Pennsylvania. Yeah, where the the. the roads are scattered with corpses. >> Yeah, he was. >> like the streets of Germany. Yeah, it's. crazy. >> Do you know him? Do you know what he was. collecting them for? Or you know what he. was getting? Just. >> probably [ __ ] what are the Duncan. Hines points or whatever the Betty. [laughter]. Betty Crocker. People eat roadkill. He. might have been munching it. >> Yeah, they probably they probably takes. a picture like we'll pay you $25 a. corpse. Just stack them and take them to. the dump. >> cuz that's what they do. They take them. to the dump. I've also been on the other.

end of that where I had to unload a. U-Haul on a stack of [ __ ] deer. corpses. >> and I'm like trying not to step. I'm. like, "Sorry, buddy." You know, >> oh man, my bad throws TV on your head. >> There is a program where you can take. deer corpses to the dump and get some. money. >> I've never been You mean we usually stop. at plasma, right? That's usually where. people sink. [laughter]. As far as legal ways to get money, scrap. metal, plasma. I've never been deer. corpse. >> Deer corpse is wild. That's like an. That's like a 1830 fur trader.

>> Yeah. >> There's guys that like trap vermin. >> They didn't even do it for the fur. though. They just do it for love a ball. >> True. >> Maybe [laughter] get some antlers. Maybe. that's kind of nice. [snorts]. >> Keep you from the urge to really murder. You know, if you want like people. bodies, it's like I'll just [ __ ] around. with these. >> Poke it. >> That's what homeless people Yeah, that's. what homeless people are for. I thought. [laughter]. >> you practice murder. Yeah. Practice. murder. Practice. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Little crash devils. >> We don't want to talk about mom and. therapy cuz we [laughter]. >> Bam. >> Yeah. You could you could uh hookers get. murdered a lot, too. >> That's sad. >> That's sad.

>> They're just doing a service for their. community. Imagine. >> somebody making you come and then you. kill them. >> That's not even fair. >> And then you come again. [laughter]. >> That's not bad. >> Hey, right. No, you're right. That's. There's a lie. [laughter]. Only in Grand Theft Auto. [laughter]. >> Yeah, I feel bad. I don't like it when. hookers get killed and I [clears throat]. feel the same way. >> I cry. >> Murdering a homeless guy, though, is. pretty. >> It's pretty gnarly, dude. >> Yeah, I would never, but you know, it's. just fun to joke about. >> Yeah. I mean, it's like choking him to.

death, too. You're down. So, I had I had. a uh funny enough, I I got in my car the. other morning. Got in my car the other. morning. I was driving. I had like run. early, so I was like a little sweaty. I. wasn't, you know, get in my car and I'm. like, "Fuck." I saw someone had rifled. through my glove box. I'm like [ __ ]. homeless guy went through my car. >> and then the car I'm like [ __ ] stinks. like a homeless guy in here. >> and I'm like driving and then I was like. >> I think that's me actually. I think. [laughter] then I was I think it's both. of us. I think the homeless guy's. muscle. >> No, no, no. He was No, no. >> I didn't think you were about to hit the. was in the back seat.

>> Yeah, dude. >> No, he I didn't even check. I should. have checked. >> Yeah, dude. Justin mirror. >> True. He's [laughter]. sitting there. I might leave him a snack. in my car. >> I don't care. You know what I mean? It's. like he didn't take anything from me. >> There's something. I get it. But there's. something that just bugs my soul when I. know somebody's. >> I'm worried. I'm worried he's going to. beat off in my car. That would piss me. off. Find a dry find. I'll be pissed. >> Dude, if they come in there, there's not. just one of them. They gang up for that. That's a group. That's a homeless group. activity. >> Oh, somebody broke into your car.

>> You never heard of Dirty Mike in the. boys? >> That's brother. That's a real thing that. happens. Yeah. Really? >> Yeah. They made a soup kitchen out of. this guy's Prius. >> What? >> Yeah. On the other guys, the movie. You. never seen it? Dirty Mike and the boys. >> No. I wonder if I left But you don't think. if I left like like some chapstick and. applesauce and water he'd be like. say don't feed the deer going to start. showing up at the I wouldn't mind that. though just they're going to have cuz we. have a ring cam [laughter]. >> they're going to just to see how many. that'd be nice. five guys. >> Wait a second business idea.

>> You get your own bait car or just buy a. new car and use a CRV as a bait car. Okay. >> Or your car. I'm sorry. Are we allowed. to say that? I don't know. Yeah. [laughter] He doesn't use the Accord as. a bait car. Okay. And then you just put. it in your driveway and you just bait it. for all these homeless to come in there. >> Live stream. That'd be a good live. stream. >> Like if one of them eagle cams up in the. woods, it's just all homeless in Austin. Bro, I ran into one. So remember we've. talked about you said, "Hey, be careful. the homeless people. They're a little. bit brazen." I was like, "It's okay. I. know how to choke them. I know rear.

naked choke. It's real strong.". >> So this guy, right, I'm wandering around. the streets last night and this guy. comes up to me. He's like, he keeps. [laughter]. I was like, "Yeah, this is my dude, right?" And he's like, "You got a. cigarette?" I was like, "Nah, man. I. don't even smoke." And I left all my Zen. in the hotel room. I'm like, "I'm. cooked, bro." He's like, "You got a. dollar?" I was like, "No, bro." I. [snorts] was like, "No, bro." I was. like, "Everything's cash. I'm just. mimicking right." [laughter]. I was like, "No, bro." I was like, "I. got none of cash." And right. He's like, "Ah." He's like, "Fuck." I was like, "I. know. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO. DO, BRO." [laughter] And he's like, "All.

right, man. Good luck, brother." And I'm. like, "Yeah, thanks, man." And I like. walk away and he walks away, right? I'm. like averted, right? And I was like. [clears throat] walking 3 minutes later, same dude. >> Hey buddy. I was like, "Buddy.". >> I was like, "It's you again." I was. like, "Do you remember from like six. minutes ago?" And I started tweaking, right? I was like, "6 minutes ago.". [laughter]. I was like, "Did you get a cigarette. yet?" And he's like, "NO, MAN. FUCK.". AND I WAS LIKE, "I KNOW, DUDE. WE'RE. COOKED, BRO. What are we going to. [laughter] do? >> He just assimilated. >> You just joined him." Yeah. >> That's smart. >> In Austin, I am the dead center between.

the homeless and the upper the. sophisticates. >> [laughter]. >> Okay, I'm dead [ __ ] square. So, sophisticate looks me in the eye, they. cross the street. >> If a homeless man looks me in the eye, they ask for money. >> I'm like, so I could be either one. >> You're either you have a foot in each. world. >> So, I talk to all the well-dressed. people in elevators real nice and I act. super homeless to the homeless people. [laughter]. >> You're coach, bro. We both like where we. What are we going to do, bro? >> Well, I I did enjoy the fact so flying.

out here, I put you in first class. >> First class, >> I think so. Right. >> I don't know. Oh, I went no [ __ ]. first class. >> The seats big. >> Yeah. >> And was there just two of you in a row. or three? >> There was three. There was a space. >> My wife gave you comfort plus. I'm going. to call her. Comfort. [laughter] Is that. good or bad? I [clears throat] was. happy. >> How many people were. >> there was two pe There was uh on the way. there, on the way here, there was two. people. On the way to Baltimore, there. was one person. There's seat in between. us. But you were not allowed to set your. bag there or he would look at you funny.

the whole time. >> Oh, [laughter] so you were in the front. >> Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, I was the. first. Like if something went down, I'm. the first [ __ ]. >> You were in first class. I was about to. call my wife and say that was first. class. [ __ ]. >> Stop it. Why are you treating me like. this? >> I had to. >> I'm literally white trash. What are you. doing? >> You got to start brown. You got to build. up, dude. >> No, I wanted I wanted to unleash you in. first class, [laughter] dude. >> You tried to make a flight buddy. >> Oh, so many times. >> And they were just shutting you down. >> Absolutely not. Yeah. The one lady uh I. don't know if I could say this, you. know. Hippa. Hippa. Uh.

>> oh, you peeping. >> No, she Oh, dude. I was peeping her. phone the whole time. Well, she's. sitting right there and she had Wi-Fi. I'm like, "How the [ __ ] she get Wi-Fi?". So, I was like this. I was like, "Oh, [ __ ] What's that? King of Queens. I. love that shit." [laughter]. And I know all the words, so I didn't. even need the volume. And she kept looking at this [ __ ]. seating chart for a stadium for a. softball game, right? And it was in. Massachusetts. And I knew we was going. to Austin. And I was just like, I got to. figure out something to start a. conversation with her, right? And I.

didn't want to say, "Oh, you just went. to the bathroom. Did you take a dump?". Like, what was that about? Was that. cool? And so she came back and I was. like, "Oh, you going to a game?" And she. was like, "No." And she like hit her. phone and put it in her pocket. I was. like, "Okay, I'm just I'm going to [ __ ]. off for the [laughter] next two hours. and look out my window cuz I got the. window seat." And another outburst like. that. I'm going to close the [ __ ]. shade. So [laughter] got one more of. those lady. >> If you were phone peeping, you try to. make a conversation. >> Not a phone peeping. Yeah, that might. not be a good idea. I don't I. >> I phone peep, dude. I phone peep. >> You can't let people know you're phone. peeping. >> Letting them know [laughter].

you to a cave, >> dude. I I saw a guy in like an airline. uniform one time on his phone. I'm like. sitting next to him. I'm like looking. down. >> and it was full like did you [ __ ] this? It was like and then it was like him. texting that person and they were going. back and forth and I was like. >> scandalous. >> Yeah, it's very scandalous. >> I was getting rocked up. I was like. [laughter] I was like I hope she did. [ __ ] him. >> I'm not phone peeping. I just have a. massive erection for other reasons. [laughter]. >> I was just clocking his affair. I'm like. [ __ ] dude. This [ __ ] pilot's having. an affair that's so. >> Of course he is. Why else are you a.

pilot? Don't marry a pilot. Okay. If. you're out there and you're married to a. pilot, brother, come on. What are you. gonna do? >> What? >> A Well, like he was about to go fly the. plane. >> No, he was he was like doing like. civilian flying. >> Oh. >> So, you know, like the flight attendants. and pilots sometimes just hop on the. plane and fly. Dude, that would be. >> He was doing that. I was next to him and. I was just clocking his phone. It was a. lot of older people too have that giant. font that you can't help. >> I could read it from 40 yards away. >> Saw this Instagram real the other day. was just a lady at the Spurs game like. there's so many Mexicans here. I didn't. know they could afford it. It was just.

her with the giant font. So I was like, >> "No way. Do you know why they can afford. it?" Cuz they work hard [laughter]. >> and they're they're very industrious. people. You should have text. You should. do your own text in the game. Correct. [laughter]. >> Was that the game where they won the. like last second shot? >> I I don't know what game it was just. like a random. It didn't even you. couldn't even see the players. It just. was the people zooming in on the lady's. phone. >> It's also a funny way just to like. photoshop people's phones and just write. the most whatever [laughter] you want. Like damn, that's [ __ ] up. Why would. she text that? It's crazy. >> That's a power move. That could be. Instagram itself right there, dude. edit.

it. >> Hey everybody. Uh, real quick, I will be. in Phoenix this weekend. This very. weekend, I'll be at Phoenix, the. Celebrity Theater. I'll be in Phoenix at. the Celebrity Theater and then Tucson, Arizona on Saturday. Guys, I'm sorry. I'm just so sleepy. I woke up at 4:30. this morning. Unintentionally jockcoed. out. Woke up at 4:30 and um just got. after it, guys. So, I'm exhausted. I'm. bushed. I'm absolutely bushed right now. But I won't be bushed when I'm in.

Phoenix and then Tucson this weekend. So, come on out, guys. There's a um. there's a link to my website, matt. mcuser.com, in the show description or something in. some box beneath this video. Please come. or don't. If you don't want to come, don't come. It's no big deal. I'll be. shredded by summer. I'm actually on. track to genuinely be shredded by. summer. So, that's, you know, you can't. have it all. But I will be shredded. either way, guys. Have a good night.

Please come. Bye. Dude, I've I've uh So, [snorts] apparently there's people out. there now like, you know, when you see. those like Instagram videos of like I. can make 10 grand online, you know, show. I'll show you how to do it. I This one. guy, I was watching his video and he. said he just like has chat GBTs like. write a very sad [ __ ] up story and. then he gets the he like looks through. him. He goes, "Yeah, that's pretty. [ __ ] up." Then he goes, "Sawyer, make. a video about this." And then he just. has AI just write these like clickbait. weird or like write the story. Then has.

a thing AI do the video. And he just. spams them online. He goes rich. >> One of them's going to hit and go viral. And you make like 10 grand a month off. of just one. And he's like, I work for. like 20 minutes. >> Like that's such a weird. >> It's like those guys who like bet. against the stock market. It's like you. don't do anything really. >> And it's so easy though. Like as soon as. you said it, it's like oh it's. >> Yeah. I click them all the time. What. the [ __ ]. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You would have to go to the gym. regularly cuz you would never get tired. from doing that. >> No, >> you would sleep terribly. >> You would actually. >> Yeah. We're just sitting at home all day.

just making AI [ __ ] itself. That's. weird. [laughter]. >> Just just watching AI beat off over. itself and like hear sad stories. We can. click bait people. >> There is something sad about that too. I. was watching like man that's kind of. empty. >> Especially because it it won't work if. he made make great stories, make happy. stories like and then put those in. videos. It'll get no traction. >> I know. It doesn't It doesn't get. >> It's got to be [ __ ] up and sad. >> It's like a sad thing. Like then her. child died and she got ran over by a. train and people like, "Oh, it's just a. nurse being like, "Oh my god.".

>> Oh, that's terrible. >> I'm feeling my own emotions. [laughter]. >> What was the guy? Could you see it? Like. was the guy Indian guy? >> No, he's like a white guy. Like a young. >> damn hot shot. >> Yeah. No, I just I just. >> Indian guy now. They're working the. phones, bro. >> AI heavy. [laughter]. >> They are. You think they're AI heavy? >> I that's what's h there there's a thing. I've been noticing online. You know, I. I've told you before that my my. algorithm is all thoughts, but I've been. noticing it's been sliding in AI. thoughts and every now and again the.

captions like it's like they forgot to. hit the translator or whatever and it's. just Indian [ __ ] but it's like. >> it's just ladies. It's just super real. looking ladies that you got to like. squint and like notice weird movements. or notice that they're all doing the. exact same thing, but they're like quiet. and they have like their verified. [snorts]. accounts with only fans linked to them. They're like doing AI pimp. >> Oh, that's what you said the engines are. up to right now. Fake pimp and the fake. lady. >> So, I know they also pulled over to. >> What's wrong with.

[laughter]. I thought we eradicated that word in the. 18 [ __ ] hundreds, but we can bring. [laughter] it back. Well, I'm talking. about Indians from India. >> I don't Okay, we'll see how that Yeah, I. shouldn't. I'm sorry, dude. I'm very. expressive. I get [laughter]. I literally have no filter and I try. I. shouldn't have No, that's fine. We call. them Indian. >> No, you're right. I should have call. Indians Indian calling Indians from. India Indians. It makes me. >> I don't even know. Yeah, dude. That's. like That's like second generation. [laughter] That's like That's like.

racial inception. like just go over to India and be like. you [clears throat] Native American and. be like oh [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> Fire back, dude. Clap back. >> What is f isn't that whole thing from. Christopher Columbus thinking he was. like getting to India and look at these. [ __ ] guys. >> Yes. That's how [ __ ] stubborn white. people are, dude. True. >> It's [ __ ] crazy to me. >> Stock, too, cuz they call they're called. Indians. >> It didn't. It shouldn't have stopped. That's crazy. That'd be like you pulling. up to a red light and being like, "That's a purple light." And everyone be. like, "No, that's absolutely red light.".

And you're like, "Well, we'll just kill. everyone. >> if enough people call it a purple.". >> How about what color is it now? Oh, it. seems pretty purple to me, huh? [laughter] Let's keep that rolling. We'll name baseball teams after it and. everything. [ __ ]. >> Yeah. Well, even Native Americans kind. like they're like, "No, we're like a. IKEA. We're a gonquin or whatever." So, it's just funny. Like, nah, we came up. with your name. That's what you guys are. >> just sticking with it. >> Pretty pretty. Yeah, >> dude. I wish we. >> It is boss on some level, but it's not. good. >> I wish I steal my kind of boss to be. like, nah, look, like this is your guys'.

identity. We figured it out for you. >> We're not going to learn the rest. >> I wish if there was anything we could. have culturally appropriated um from the. Native Americans, it would have been the. naming system. We brought that over from. Europe. Bro, come on. I want to be. running dog. >> I'm with you. I'm with you on that, >> bro. Wouldn't that be great? Nighthawk. >> Nighthawk Senior. Combat character. [laughter]. >> That's my grandpa. Crazy squirrel. You'd. love him. >> Yeah. >> Their naming system was I'll give you. that. Superior. It was sick. I'm I'm for. I I you know, nobody's with me on this.

one, but I'm all about a Native American. president. >> Yeah, let's get everyone We've never had. a Native American president. >> I feel like he would turn on the whites. You guys will be dead. >> Let it happen. >> What are you talking about? >> After after what y'all did to them? You. think they're not quietly holding a. grudge? >> Let's open up this. >> I didn't do anything. I know. I know. now, but historically, >> true. He's got the they got the little. grudge in the back there just on those I. was driving around Phoenix before and. like just the parts where they put. people look like [ __ ] out there. It is.

not good. Like you hit like green and. then it's just you just it just turns. back into the desert as soon as you hit. the res. >> and they're like that's what you get. >> They got some bum lands for sure. >> Yeah, dude. I was in the Wind River just. like he said, bro. Wind River Mountains. in somewhere Wyoming, Montana. I don't. know. I was driving. I didn't pay. attention. Um, and you came up and like. he said, "Bro, it was green mountains, beautiful white people land, and then it. was just barren desert, like welcome to. the Indian reservation." And right, I'm. from uh this little town, P, well, like. near Pittsburgh. And I was on this.

Indian reservation, right? Nothing. around. Took me three hours and 10. minutes to drive there through nothing. And I go in this little steak uh little. convenience store, not even gas station. Everything's dusty, bro. I pull off this. thing. It's Dalo [ __ ] and I was like, "That's from my hometown." I was like, "There's no way. I didn't know that was. a national thing." And I looked and I. was like, "No, made in Janette, Pennsylvania." I was like, "Oh, what. truck came out here, bro? >> What is Dalo?". >> It's Dalalo is like a a little Italian. market in a [ __ ] suburb of P. Like, I. don't even know. It's not Pittsburgh.

It's not Greensburg. Like, there's I. don't think there's anything I could say. that. And it made it all out to the. >> brother. Brother in Wyoming. I'm like, how how'd you get out here, little guy? I almost wanted to take him back home. [laughter]. I'll take you back, dude. You lost your. way, dude. >> Come back. >> Yeah. Nobody talks about the Native. Americans ever. It's like it's they get. like the the littlest bit of lip service. at like liberal colleges every now and. again. >> There's nothing good we can say. >> That's also kind of like a weird thing. to be like just we're going to. acknowledge the fact of this land. Anyway, here's what we're building here.

and it's going to be [laughter] sick. It's going to be awesome. >> You guys get casinos. Let's get it. >> Yeah. Dude, the Native American. president could be sick. >> Yeah, >> could be. >> Dude, [ __ ] the peace pipe in the Oval. Office. >> I mean, that would honestly be the best. thing. be awesome. >> See, I'm sitting down with Zene Peyton. smoking a peace pipe. >> Dude, it would be so [ __ ] Especially. I I I would like to and I don't want to. get political here, but I would like to. get away from uh having like 87 year. olds as the president. >> Yeah, we can't have like a guy's. cognitive decline.

>> We need JFK2, Tokyo Drift, >> a guy who's got not much time left on. here just making all our decisions. >> No, dude. We need Yeah, we need I I. would say 50 is like the perfect age. Can I can I have one more counter. argument against Native Americans. though? [laughter]. >> They have historically taken so many. L's. I don't know if I don't know if you. put them in char. of them taking L. Bro, >> I'm He's thinking about his country. [laughter] Okay. Okay. Are you ready for. this? So, let's look at the other side.

of the coin. Okay. So, if you've taken. every L possible, you've learned every. [ __ ] way to not do that [ __ ] again. True. >> That's how I got where I am today. >> The only way down. Yeah, it's up. It's. up. >> True. True. >> I learned every lesson the hard. [ __ ] way. >> True. You're making a good point. >> What's the hardest lesson you ever. learned? >> Oh my god, dude. Look both ways before. you cross that [ __ ] road. Cousin. >> Oh yeah, you got hit by a car, >> cousin. >> What kind of car? >> Uh, Dodge Shadow 93 ES trim. [laughter]. >> Oh, how fast does it go? I mean,

>> 45 mph. >> in a 25 cousin. Damn. >> I was 315 pounds at 13 years old while. my dad stolen Trek mountain bike. I. stole it from him. He didn't steal it. >> Yeah, >> it was rightfully his. I had no [ __ ]. right taking it. >> So, let me bust this story down. You got. [laughter] time? You got time? Let me. bust this story down. Okay. So, your boy. was at home skipping school, not. supposed to be doing it, and his dad's. bike was in the basement, the nicest. possession in the Haidider household, [laughter] not ever supposed to be. touched by me, who broke every [ __ ]. thing he ever touched ever.

>> I was a nightmare. They called me bits. and pieces. I don't even think my mom. knew my name. She just called me bits. and pieces cuz that's all the [ __ ] I. left when I [laughter]. And so, okay. So, I went down to the. basement. I stole my dad's bike. It had. a digital speedometer. It's important. for later in the story. >> Foreshadowing. So, I take it I I dip. off. I'm going to go to my boy Brandon's. house. I'm going flex on the. neighborhood, right? Pimp pimp pimp. Hooray. So, I go down and I It's all. downhill. So, at 315 pounds on a bike,

downhill's fun. That's an easy game, dude. Easy game. I could have I didn't. even touch the sidewalk cut. So, [laughter] I get down there and I'm. like, "Yo, look at this bike. It's. tight, right?" He's like, "Yeah, good. point. Let's go on a bike ride. Our boy. CJ just got hit by a car on his bicycle. We should go visit him. He's in danger.". Okay. And I was like, "That does seem. nice, but that's all downhill. And then. I'm going to have to pedal uphill to get. home." And it's like, "Real? I already. pedal down here to get here." I was. like, "Oll right. [ __ ] it." Right. Let's. do it. Let's take him on for the team. Yeah. >> So, I went down, visited CJ. Right. His. mom is in the alley telling the story.

Hype, bro. We're in John'stown. She. ghetto. We're hype. >> Yeah. >> She hit my baby say she only doing 25. mph. I know she wasn't doing no 25 mph. She came down. She said, "Bam." She's. like, "Look at my baby, dude. CJ 68. pounds soaking wet with a pocket full of. change. Come out collar bone butt, bro. He looked like [ __ ] Tiny Tim. He was. ruined, dude. Ruined." So I was like, "Damn." All right. That ain't good. So I. was like, "Flex. I got the speedometer. on my bike right now. I'm going to come. down past 25 mph." Right. as like, >> "Oh, you're like, check it. Let's.

exhibit [laughter]. >> A.". >> You're like, "Let's get this this fact. straight." Go to court. You can This boy. was on a mountain bike and he check. >> Yeah. So, I'm going come down to 25 and. you gauge, right, with your eye, your. [laughter] calculated eye if that was. this is worth my life. Okay. So, I go up. the hill, right? No flash stretch, right? And uh remember the calves? I got. these calves, right? >> You got crazy calves. >> That's what I'm saying. So, calves are. [ __ ] bodybuilder calves. >> Thank you. I appreciate it. So, [laughter] even at like 13 years old, I.

had about 400 450 pound feet of torque. >> Okay. So, I put that bike in 37th gear. STRAIGHT ON WHEN I JUST [ __ ] started, bro, on this downhill, right? And I'm. looking 21, 22. Next thing you know, nothing, bro. All I hear is glass. shatter, >> entire screech in that order. And that's. important because she didn't hit the. brakes until after this pack was done. cuz she was Well, she wasn't on her. phone. We didn't even have phones back. then. But anyway, so she hits right.

Okay. And let me tell right here. So I. actually, what happened was the bike, >> it was an inferred stop sign. She was. doing 45, I was doing 22. And um. [snorts]. >> you probably hit 23 by the [laughter]. Bro, I was locked into the speedometer. I did not even look ahead of me. >> A. >> 100%. Yeah. So she came and and it could. have been this which me on the bike her. it could have been this where she hit me. but it actually happened like this where. I just clipped her fender as she was. going and it sent me over her hood and. then her windshield and roof caught my.

315 lb supple child body. Okay. Bent the. whole safety cage back and at which. point she said, "Oh [ __ ] shit.". Right. Cuz my ass is in her mouth. probably. [laughter]. >> Yeah. So she slams the brakes. Okay. And. I go, "Yeah, ye. >> right.". >> 28 ft through the air, another 45 on my. left ass cheek. >> Oh. >> And the only reason I know is cuz it's. mostly missing. >> That could be an afterthought if you. want to look at that. So, um, I fly.

right and I didn't I'm so stubborn. I. didn't even know what the [ __ ] happened. So, I go to sit up. I'm like, "What the. fuck?" And I look over your shoes off, >> brother. Let it happen. Hold on one. second. My bad. My bad. >> Let it happen. Cart before the horse. [laughter]. Okay. So, I sit up. I'm like, "Oh [ __ ]. dog." Damn. Right. And I see a car. antenna ting ting ting ting ting down. the road. But I'm keeping up with the. [ __ ]. >> right? I'm like, "Oh, that's wild and. crazy." Okay, I'm moving. And then I. feel the inertia like you stop at a. stoplight and I'm looking. I'm like, I'm. sitting in the middle of the [ __ ]. street. This is.

>> dangerous. So I go to get up, right? And. I go, "Fat as [ __ ] Fat as shit." So I. go to roll and get up in my little. three-stage motion that you do, right? When you ain't got the upper body. strength. [laughter] And um and I go to. step off the road and it feel like I. step in a pothole. I'm like, "Johnstown, City Works, damn it." And I look down. and it just looks like my shoe's off, but it's it's still attached to my foot. and my calf is just on the ground and my. brain says, "Shut it down and start it. back up. Something's wrong." So I bam, straight back down, >> right? And so when I went down, I hit my.

head and all that. So I'm out and the. whole neighborhood's holding me down. They're like, "Oh my god." Right? And. they're freaking out, bro. And I come. too and I'm like, "Brandon," cuz that's. my boy I came with. That's the first. thing I Brandon, Brandon. And my. 14-year-old friend, he can't even look. at me, bro. He's like, "He's dying. I. can't look at my homie like that, cousin, right?" Cuz what I didn't know. is there is a pool of blood puddling. around my waist. So, >> your ass. >> Well, that's I know that now, but at the. time, they just thought my inner organs. busted like a water balloon and was. leaking out of the closest hole they. could find, >> which just happened to be my [ __ ].

>> True. >> Yeah. So, everyone's like, "Man, dead. man walking." You know what I mean? They're like, "Bro, don't move. Don't. move." So, long story short, they sent. me to the hospital. They they well they. said we're going to have to catharize. you. And I was like listen I'm. Christian. My grandma would not like. that. We can't be doing that. I don't. know what medically if that will help. but I just don't they like no we're. going to stick a tube in your dick. I. was like can I be Catholic? Is that. still on the table? I will be Catholic. if that's still on the table. And. they're like no we just got to Bam. So. bro. Yeah. Pulling it out was the crazy. part.

>> Yeah. I could like she was starting a. goddamn lawn mower, dude. She was. yanking, >> bro. She was like hold up. Hold up. Hold. up. Okay. Oh, hit the choke. Hold up. Bang. Boy, I was like, damn. >> Nothing for the sucked the bed sheet up. my ass, bro. It had so much [ __ ]. momentum, >> bro. >> It was insane. >> How long was the recovery? >> Uh, way too long. So, I was 14. It just. This happened 10 days before summer. vacation. And Brian Gunson, if you're. still out there, I appreciate you. I'm. sorry. I [ __ ] up all your work. That. was my um leg specialist. So he rebuilt.

it tibiahibia clean through cuz my leg. wrapped around her apillar like a snap. bracelet. So it had dusted everything. that was connecting. So they pinned and. plated it all back together. He did a. wonderful job. But I was a 315 lb. [ __ ] 14-year-old that was not taken. note on summer vacation and I started. walking on that. And if you look to this. day, bro, I have the arthritis of a. 90-year-old man. You'll see me, bro. Get. if we ever go somewhere in a car for six. hours, watch how I get out. Make fun of.

me. where you can't. >> live stream it stiff, >> brother. >> Brother, I make all the noises. Old. people noises. >> Yeah, >> that's fair. >> And my favorite hobby is driving cars. that are slammed to the ground. I'm. like, this is I literally It's like that. [ __ ] Leonardo getting out of on Wolf. of Wall Street. [laughter] I just lay. down and [ __ ] crawl out. >> Yeah, dude. Sick car. I know. No big. deal. >> You like You like them slammed to the. ground. >> Oh, dude. Well, it's the only ones that. are cool like trucks even. That'd. probably be a whole another issue. I. have to get a [ __ ] ladder. Do you so. you worry you're going to I mean not to. you know take away from almost dying but.

you worried about scraping the. undercarriage or you slam low to the. ground. >> Uh yeah the Miata literally my Miata has. stain. Are you talking about my [ __ ]. Cuz I've done that too. >> No I'm talking about the car. >> Okay. I've hit road debris that I felt. my [ __ ] 100%. [ __ ]. >> 100%. Like you cuz it's You're right. brother cousin you're right there. You. hit like a bushing that fell off a. [ __ ] old truck and it that floor. panel like it don't touch you. >> Yeah but you feel the Yeah. Like it's. like if you put a [ __ ] trash can lid. on your ass and I hit it with a hammer. >> True. >> Like that was a close one.

>> So what's up with what's up with So. >> Oh, Miata has stainless steel frame. rails. >> Okay. >> Cuz I plan for that. So it literally has. 302 stainless steel. I could 50/50 grind. my Miata down a six set of stairs. >> That's [ __ ] sick. >> Yeah, dude. As long as I don't blow out. the oil pan. >> True. >> Golden. But if I wrecked that me I'm. [ __ ] dead. It's literally a. skateboard. >> So you healed up and did you have to fix. your legs after you were like thrashing. around? >> Yeah. Well, okay. Well, what do you. mean? Like, yeah, they they pin played. it all together. And then after I [ __ ]. it all up, right, I went back as an. adult and I'm like, I'm sorry, guys, right? I was young, immature, I'm new,

I've grown, right? And they're like, yeah, you got we could do something. They're like, we'll break your [ __ ]. leg, >> right? And we'll remove your ankle. completely because you can't have. arthritis in something you don't have. >> That's that's a cool trick we learned. >> And we'll just [ __ ] mount your foot. straight to your [ __ ] leg like Cotton. Hill from King of the Hill, you know, blow out your ankle. And then Yeah. And. then you could just stab the clutch from. your [ __ ] hip. Like, how am I going. to So, >> oh, so you don't have like ankle. flexion? No, >> there would be nothing. I I've never got. it done because they were like, "That's. the option." I was like, "I I'll just. sucks.

>> I'll stay.". >> Damn. You would had like a G.I. Joe foot. >> just straight. That's [ __ ]. >> I was like, do I at least get to pick. the angle? I was like, what if I want to. wheel wear high heels? >> True. [laughter]. >> [ __ ]. one 6 in pump and a prosthetic like. orthopedic [ __ ]. >> You should have just went and got the. full [ __ ] height surgery where they. like break your legs and lengthen them. You could have got you could. >> while you're in there type [ __ ] Yeah. >> 630. >> That's called scope creep. >> Scope creep. >> Yeah. That's when you go in. So, let's. say you go in, right? Because you just. want to break your leg so you can fix.

it. And they're like, "Well, while. you're in there, why don't you give me. extra leg surgery?" And they're like, "Well, we got this new hydraulic leg. surgery that makes you jump really high. We'll already be in there." And you're. like, "Well, while you're in there, so. now what started out as a $3,000 fixer. upper, now you're 55 grand in. aftermarket supplies." That's true. >> Scope creep. True. >> While you're in there, >> Home Depot contractor. >> Mhm. M mm Mm. >> So, what's the uh you know, what's the. what's the plan going forward, dude? What are you What are you up to. >> in life? >> Yeah, >> that's a great question, right? >> True. >> Just wing it. >> That's what I've been doing so far. I.

honestly didn't think I'd make it this. far. I'm one of those people that just. look back like, damn, that's a holy. [ __ ] Huh? Cuz I look back at like all. like a lot of the kids I grew up with. and stuff, right? And I like even. growing up like cuz I like you know. there wasn't much. >> structure there. Yeah. >> So, I was just like, man, I'm. >> What part of PA? Like where's your PA. town? Like where did you grow up? What's. it called? >> Johntown. Johntown. Okay. >> Johntown, Pennsylvania. What's up? >> Was that Was that close? Cuz me and Nate. drove and uh we were we drove from Ohio. to Pittsburgh and we were all pumped to. see Youngsttown where Bones Bone Thugs.

was from. That's close, right? >> Maybe. No, I think that's closer to. Pittsburgh. No. Um. >> it's close to Pitts. It definitely is. We We were like all pumped because we. kept seeing Youngsttown. Like we were. listening to Bone Thugs the whole. [laughter] time. [ __ ] being dorks. >> Two hours of Bone Thug. >> It was I thought it was like it's got to. be coming up. We're in Ohio. It's got to. be right here. It's like on the edge. literally. I think it's the last town. before you hit P. >> Johntown, Ohio. >> No, no. Youngsttown. >> Youngtown. >> Youngtown. Yeah. >> It's where Bone Thugs. >> Okay. Okay. >> I didn't know if you knew it at all. >> Yo, I Well, I know of Youngstown. Yeah.

Yeah. We don't go there. >> Oh, it's just another hood. Yeah. You. know what I mean? I'm like I'm already. from the hood. I don't got to go hood. visit. >> Not even a bone thug is from me. I b. [laughter] I hear crossroad. I think. about my uncle. I cry every time. But. you don't need to go. >> No, I don't. when he touch remember in. the crossroads video when he touched. that man's head and his eyes turned. black. >> Yeah, true. >> I miss my uncle. [laughter]. Oh dude, don't get me started. >> Oh man, >> that's why I didn't want That's You You.

had to edge me on. Now I'm here. >> Loud plan. [laughter]. >> So what's the plan? What's the plan for? Just keep. >> going. Keep working, bro. I'm going to. keep doing it. If anybody wants to make. me famous, I'll get famous. >> There you go. >> If you I mean, you know, I'm You know, >> just keep grinding out the the content. I mean I. >> can we can we pull up one of I just. wanted the videos are videos are [ __ ]. >> show me one that made me happy. What's. Keith the one you just showed me with. the glove where you I don't I don't. know. >> Oh yeah. No I never posted that cuz. that's one of those things I never. posted cuz I was like bro. >> I'm thinking about it. I don't know if. it should go on the screen. >> He found a nugget.

>> Here it is. This is. >> this one changed my life. >> Devil egg tray. We got dog all day. That was probably. the most expensive one I'll hear about. in the comments. My man got deled egg. trays for devild egg days. [laughter]. >> You thought we were out. Oh no. >> Happy Easter. >> 27 minute video. [laughter]. >> My man.

>> This [ __ ] gets deep. [laughter]. [gasps]. >> It's a lot of devild eggs. >> That's crazy. >> Insane. Primarily egg diet. So what in. terms of like encountering people living. in the house? >> I hate that. >> Yeah. >> I like finding them dead better. >> Yeah. I would I would I swear to God I. would say it's it's scary, dude. >> One time. So one time long long time ago. I came into this house, right? And just. like typical [ __ ] bro. I break in. I. usually don't even think someone's in.

there because it's so uncommon. And um I. go in and the house is warm and I'm. like, "Ew, that's creepy." And then I. like walk in and I get hit in the neck. with some drip and I'm like, "Oh, the. drip is warm. >> I hate this." And then I get in the. living room and dude, oh, oh, the very. important part. See this what I mean? It's not even significant to me. The. whole house is a canyon of hoarde. >> The only thing to walk through is a. canyon. And it is eye [ __ ] level. trash. And then you start getting down.

and it starts getting wetter and wetter. and wetter till it turns into. >> dirt. cuz it's been there so long that. you know it just disintegrates. >> It just the paper and everything turns. back into dirt. So I'm like walking. through this. I'm like this is crazy. And like I said, it's [ __ ] eye level, dude. And I get into the living room and. the lights are on. It's warm. It's. weird. But again, you don't assume. somebody's [ __ ] in here, dude. Like. it's so easy for me to like disassociate. that somebody lives like that. But so. this [ __ ] Chihuahua [ __ ] Yorkie. mix, bro. starts just like Simba in the.

Lion King like prouncing over this. [ __ ] canyon towards me barking and. I'm like this motherfucker's at eye. level like the playing field has been. leveled here [laughter] like I'm like. the [ __ ] up. Yeah, this is not good for. me. Okay, like usually it's not scary. cuz they're on the ground but this. [ __ ] is heightened and he has. toxic damage too cuz [laughter]. trudging through [ __ ] dude. I'm scared. Okay, so he's coming at me and I hear a voice. I forget the dog's name but she was like. get away from him or something. And I'm. like, "Oh no." I'm like, "I'm with the.

bank. I don't know." And she's like, "Did Martha send you?" I was like, "I. don't know Martha. I'm not." And it was, "Dude, there was this lady that was. >> Oh, >> big girl. You ever see what's eating. Gilbert crate?". >> Yeah. >> You ever see his mom? >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Okay. >> Just big girl living in the trash, >> bro. >> That's [clears throat] She can't leave. >> cuz you know, you eat your way and you. can't leave cuz once you get bigger than. a door, 36 in. So keep a tape measure on. deck if you're getting there, [laughter]. bro. You should cuz I'm just saying. there's going to be a time that you. leave your house for the last time, you. know. >> Yeah, she was intombed.

>> Unless you go out to eat, then you won't. be able to get back in, which is. probably a better problem to have, right? [laughter]. >> Oh, [ __ ] So, she was she was just part. of the house. >> Yeah, they call that landlocked. Yeah. >> Why can't the [laughter] Why can't the. bank just respect that? >> Yeah. It's like, yeah, I owe you guys. $385,000, but I am become one with this. house. >> Yeah, dude. They'll shut that [ __ ] down, throw you in the street, and give the. the subsidiary to someone who deserves. it. I mean, they don't deserve I mean, it's not No, I'm sorry. It's not me to. say anything about that, but it's just. it's hard for me.

>> to imagine letting [ __ ] go that far, right? Because Yeah. >> Just I've let my life go pretty far and. I'm like, I know what it takes to hit a. rock bottom. Like, I couldn't imagine. hitting that rock bottom being like, "This ain't that bad.". >> I know, dude. >> Let's keep it rolling. >> Dude, it's amazing. >> You ever find out what fell on you? What. dripped on your neck? >> Sewage. >> Sewage. Okay. Just straight from up. Okay. >> Yeah. No big deal. >> Yeah. My up there hot [ __ ]. >> Hot [ __ ]. >> you know. My uncle got me with that one time. We. were all like working together and I had. ear like a year before prank called my.

uncle funny enough as the bank cuz he. had just bought this house and he's all. he's all pumped up and I called him. being like, "Hey, this is TD Bank. Uh. there's a second mortgage on your home. and I had the address and I was like. clacking the keyboard the whole time. It. sounded really official.". >> Sold it. >> Sold it. Dude, he I was like, "Well, you. know, it's like $87,000 second mortgage. You You didn't I'm surprised you they. didn't come up with that at like title. They should have showed you that." And. there he was like just bugging out and. I'm like it's I'm like just come down. here. We'll figure it out. We'll. probably just put a lean on your house. like what's your mother's maiden name? He's like I'm not telling you a goddamn.

he just spazzed [laughter] and hung up. He ended up calling my whole family. He. was calling my dad, my aunt. He was just. like freaking out and they're all like. what the [ __ ] that sounds crazy. Like. and then I told my dad what I did and he. was like that's the funniest thing in. the world. [laughter]. So they were all laughing. Eventually he. found out. My dad was like, "Dude, my it. was my son. He was [ __ ] with you.". And uh my uncle was holding he still. holds a grudge to this day about it's. been. >> obviously. >> maybe 12 years. >> Was that Hos? >> No, no, no. That's my cousin. Hos I. don't know if Hos Hos would have went to. the Actually, he actually my uncle did. go to the bank and started argue with.

him in person. [laughter]. >> Why would you let that cook? >> I would have broke that for the. >> me and my cousin in high school and. we're like just [ __ ] around calling. people. I'm like, "Oh, this would be. funny." I It was like not even. premeditated. And it was just a flawless. bank that it just [ __ ] them up. And uh. we were they were knocking down a cuz. they all do demolition. They were. knocking down an old grocery store and I. was just standing there talking to. everyone and he we like saw each other. and he just grabbed one of the pipes and. bent it towards me and all that old. nasty water [laughter] right there. I.

was like fair. I was like I'll take it. Fair enough. That stuff is nasty. >> A beast move. >> It was kind of nice. He just went it was. like one of those like fat copper pipes. [laughter] like filled it down. I was. like, "Oh, >> those sewage guys are a whole another. breed, bro.". >> No, >> I had to call one in my house cuz like. that's not me. I'm not fiddling around. in that. And it was like backing up to. my basement, okay? And like my house. sits up high. So it had this whole. slope. Okay. Then down to the street. So. we're talking 75 ft of 3-in pipe filled. with doodoo and buu berries. Okay. The.

whole nine, bro. The whole nine. And. he's like trying to find it and this and. that and the third. And he goes out to. the street and there's like a little. turn and [snorts] he turns it and he's. like, "I found it, bro." And he jams. this [ __ ] giant snake, bro. This. giant. And it hits this thing and he's. st he's standing right over it like. looking down into it like that's I know. better than that. You sh do that, right? And he bust that thing loose and what it. happened to be was bacon grease cuz you. know I'm used to renting. I'm still not. So, so bacon grease and and literally.

a 5gallon bucket of undigested peanuts. cuz I was going through a crunchy peanut. butter phase at that point. >> That's keto life, >> dude. And bro, I cannot just There was I. literally had to like get the squirrels. out of my yard for months cuz they were. like, >> so this thing breaks loose this [ __ ]. hard ball of break bacon grease and then. like a fire hydrant of peanuts. >> And he's sitting there loving it, dude. He's like excited. Like he was waiting. for Old Faithful to go off and it did. He's like, I [laughter]. >> I'm like, you're standing in it, bro. This ain't [ __ ] Splash Mountain, bro.

[ __ ] out of there, cousin. >> Yeah, that is hepatitis. >> That the plumbing something I can never. >> dude just turds all day. >> All day for fun. >> But anytime you meet a plumber, they. felt like they're built for it. You know. what I mean? Like they're they're that. guy. >> True. >> I used to be in the car industry. Well, okay. I used to be in the customer. service industry hard. Yeah. >> Right. Because I was a big boy, so my. mom was always like, "You never be get a. job working on your feet." Yeah. Not. going to happen. Let's cut that [ __ ]. short. You want a SSI check or you want. a desk job? You know what I mean? I was. like, "Okay, desk job. Good point." So,

[laughter]. I Right. Real real real good mom there. But, um, [laughter]. so I go and I get desk job after desk. job. And I'm good at it, right? Because. I'm personable, right? I'm likable. because we move schools all the time. That's how I got You either get friends. or you stay alone, right? True. So, let's keep it rolling. So, [laughter] I. got good at making friends. So, customer. service, right? And I desk job, desk. job, desk job. But every six months I'm. like, man, what do you think dying's. like? It has to be better than this, right? >> Yeah. >> So I'm like, man, that's something to.

think about. We'll put that on the back. burn. Okay. [laughter]. >> It's truly like suicide [laughter]. time. >> So I'm just going to keep doing my desk. job and trying to figure out why I'm so. sad. >> Yeah. >> Right. And then the ultimate happened, right? My uh the pandemic happened in. this order, bro. pandemic happened. I. almost died in traffic on the way home. from getting fired from my job. And then. as I got home, I got a whole new lease. on life, made dinner for my wife, and.

she got home and divorced me. And then. the next day, I wake up and I'm like, "Okay, I don't have a job. I have a. whole new lease on life, and I'm out of. wife. What does your boy do?" Right? And. I was like, "Hm, let's collect this.". >> I love what. >> pandemic money, right? True. >> I'm schizophrenic. I'm not going to lie, [laughter] bro. I never know who's. showing up for dinner. Well, the new lease on life with the fi. firing to new lease on life. Nice. Sudden divorce. That's like whoa. >> Within 12 hours, >> dude. >> Bing, bang, boom, bing, bang. >> And then pandemic.

>> Yeah. So, I literally got rebirth. I was. l I woke up the next morning with. placenta on me. I was like, this is I've. never had such a tangible moment. Okay. Yeah. >> Let's cook, dog. >> And then you just [laughter]. pandemicked up for like couple years. there. >> Well, what was the question? >> So, you that and you rode that right. into the pandemic. Well, that was the. pandemic. >> I got fired because of the pandemic. >> Dude, it like me like all like it was. all rapid fire, bro. So, um, >> well, actually, I got laid off. I was. going home from a layoff. I got to. specify because if anyone's listening,

he didn't get fired that day. I was. going home from a layoff, bro. They laid. me off and then the guy who laid me off. got fired and they never brought me. back. Yeah, >> so call that what the [ __ ] you want to. call that, [laughter] but. >> I got a technicality, okay? If anyone. wants out there, >> they just cut an entire branch off the. plant. They were just like, "All right, [ __ ] it.". >> Yeah. and I was dangling on a security. rope attached to it. [laughter]. Okay, bye. So then I wrote out that. pandemic money, right? Cuz your boy. Donnie was flapping me with them $600. stemmies. Yeah. >> And I was getting unemployment and I was.

getting, you know, Cory Hiders from the. street monies. So. >> your boy was I was like I'm making more. money. >> You're killing it. >> Unemployed and divorce. >> This [laughter] is [ __ ] Okay. >> Who knew? >> I know an upstroke when I see one, you. know. [laughter] So, so I wrote that out. and then I got bored, right? Cuz I was. like, "Okay, well, this is not having a. job is crazier than a desk job.". >> It's weird. It is. Especially if you're. used to having a job. When you stop. having a job, it's a [ __ ] weird. feeling. >> I crave structured activity, bro. >> Yeah. >> Hard. I'm like waking up with nothing to. do. It's going to get [ __ ] up quick.

[laughter] It gets [ __ ] up quick. When. you're cranking your hog by 9:30 in the. morning, YOU'RE LIKE, "DAMN, THAT IS. ONLY downhill from here.". >> Yeah. That's [laughter] when you start. doing the darker corners of Craigslist. >> You want to do human trafficking? looking at my [ __ ] too. What do you want. to do? You know, I don't know. [ __ ]. Dark web I heard is fun this time of. year. [laughter] So, so my boy calls me, right, and all those. video, well, the videos I post, right? And the [ __ ] that you know, I know what. he does. And he's like, "Why don't you. come work with me?" And I was like,

"No." I was like, "That's when you you. say you're bored and your mom's like, "Wash the dishes." Like, "That's not. fun.". >> Yeah. >> That's not what I meant. He's like, "Just come on, dude. I need help.". >> So, I just started helping him. And then. I fell in love with it. And then you. become normalized that [ __ ] And I was. like, "Damn it, >> I'm an outside cat this whole time.". >> True. >> I thought I was an indoor cat, bro. [laughter]. >> That's crazy. >> You didn't have any like construction. experience before that? >> Nope. >> What? >> Nope. I Well, I would [ __ ] around on my. own accord building cars and [ __ ]. hand your hand. >> Oh, and dude, when I was a kid, I could.

build a bong out of anything. By 12. years old, I ripped apart literally the. entire Radio Shack catalog and rebuild. it at one point. That's just what I did. as a kid, cuz I I figured out, bro, at 5. years old, this blows my mind. I think. this is the peak of my whole peak in. this. At 5 years old, bro, I figured out. how an internal combustion engine worked. cuz I couldn't figure out how the tire. spin. I was like, if the tire spins, something's got to spin to spin that and. then something's got to spin to spin. that and then something's got to spin to. spin that. But eventually, it's got to. be a reciprocating motion. So, how do. you turn a reciprocating motion into a. spinning motion? And I had this toy. steam train that had the wheel with the.

and I looked at turn the reciprocating. into I was like, I bet that's it. And. that's literally how an engine works. Now, if I was Japanese, I would have. figured out the Wankle rotary engine. right there on the spot, [laughter]. but I didn't I didn't I didn't. So, you. know, there's always a first. >> I wish I had that cuz I I remember being. like a little boy and I was like I had. the weed whacker and I like took it. apart to do something and I was like, I'm going to take it apart. This is my. seinal moment of becoming like a. mechanical-minded man. I took the weed. whacker apart and just was like, [ __ ].

[laughter]. I called my dad. I was like, uh, dad, the weed whacker is kind of messed up. right now. The [ __ ] going on with it? I was like, I don't know. >> Whole thing. >> I was trying to add the string and it. got all [ __ ] up and he's like, "What. the fuck?". >> Multiple pieces. [snorts]. [laughter]. [clears throat]. >> Yeah. >> Never tried to really fix anything ever. since. >> I was just always mechanical. And then. people were like, "You're likable." I. was like, "Okay, I'll lean into that.". Cuz I've never ever had confidence in I. literally never had confidence in. anything I've ever done. Yeah. >> And if you know, like this whole. Instagram thing, it started as a. Snapchat. So I used to send my friends. like post that [ __ ] dude. You're you're.

killing it. Like this is funny. I'm the. only one that sees it. You know what I. mean? It's crazy. And then if you ever. look, my Instagram handle is Haidider. Corey. Like I had to look myself up in. the phone book like I didn't know my. [ __ ] name. [laughter] And that's. because the Instagram was an accident, bro. I was at working in a gas station. with my fat sweaty leg and it pocket. dialed cuz I was like on Facebook and I. put it in there and it like opened. Instagram started Instagram. automatically from Facebook like I. clicked things with my leg and I pulled. out of my pocket and hider Corey. Instagram was logged in. I was like, "What the [ __ ] is that?". >> Whoa. >> And I just canceled it and looked out.

and I never opened it again for five, six years. And then boy was like, "Yo, start posting that shit." And I opened. Instagram, Haidider Corey. And I was. like, "Let's do it." I've thought about. changing my name so many times, but I. was like I just imagine waking up with. zero followers and like was it worth it. or should I just been Haidider Corey? [laughter] It's not a I'm not wrong, but. All right. >> Well, dude, man, can't thank you enough, dude. >> Yeah, >> we did it, man. I knew I knew it'd be. [ __ ] rad. >> What do you guys want to do now? >> You want to go to Goodwill? >> Let's go chill. Yeah, >> let's go chill. Let's go walk the. streets. >> We're going to [ __ ] this place up,

[laughter]. >> dude. Thank you, man. Yeah, just go on. What is it? Hider Cory. >> Hider Corey. Bluecollar Corey. Cory Mega. Hider. >> Cory Mega Hider. >> That's on Facebook. That's my own. personal Facebook because Instagram was. like, "Yo, start a Facebook." And I was. like, "I have a Facebook." So, I grew my. own personal Facebook with like all the. pictures I didn't want to have in social. media and all that. I was like, "Fuck. it. We'll just grow it." And I grew it. to 80,000. They're like, "Oh, we meant a. page, not a profile." I was like, "You. piece of shit." [ __ ]. >> So, that's why Yeah, dude. That's why I. grew that page, Bluecollar Corey. And. bro, I killed it though. Two months. At.

first month I had 130 million views. >> That's crazy. >> It's awesome. >> For just being a [ __ ] dick wad from. the hood. That's [laughter]. insane, dude. That is awesome. >> Literally. No. >> Now you got to monetize. You got to sell. like a t-shirt or something. >> I know. That's We're working on it. Um I. think uh there's a lot of avenues. I. think uh honestly me and the boys or I. think Philip. >> your boy from Rough House are going to. get Yeah. I think we're going to get on. I got to do it. I'm just a It's really I. don't mean to get down on it, but it's. really hard for me to place a bet on. myself. >> Yeah. Like legit, like it's just so.

instilled in my DNA. Like, bro, your. last place, just make do with it. You. know what I mean? Like it's crazy. And I. don't know if amount of therapy or. something can change that. And if it. does, >> what if I'm not funny anymore? You know. what I mean? Like what if Cuz you know. how trauma takes it, right? We've I'm. sure you've experienced trauma. I know. you had a [ __ ] child. [laughter]. >> No, I [laughter] think you just I would. just rock it. I would just keep rocking. it, dude. Just let it rip. Let it rip.

Don't second guess yourself. I know what. you mean. It feels weird and it's like. >> it feels cocky. >> I've never been cocky to pick up. >> The thing is too is like what the [ __ ]. it. You know, you know how to do it if. it doesn't work out. You're like there's. no. >> you're just back to. >> back to square one. >> Risk-free. >> Yeah. That's why I've just like never. quit working or like you know or never. like leaned into it or went to like I do. stand up every once in a while but the. standup scene in Pittsburgh is crazy. >> Yeah, >> dude. I would like I'd be like I think. this is like a AA meeting. I think a AA. meeting's funnier than this. >> Yeah, the open mic comedy is pretty.

>> as sad as it gets. >> That's that's one of the underworlds. We. mentioned desk sitting desk jobs. That's. an underworld. Stand up open mics are an. absolute underworld as well. >> It was crazy. I was talking to this one. guy. I was like I was like so like we. were talking. He's like, "Oh, I'm not. even funny." And I was like, "You're not. funny." I was like, "You're going to do. a stand up?" And he's like, "Yeah, I. just, you know, I think. >> some of these people, bro, they have a. horrible social anxiety and it's like. cutting themselves like like self harm. >> You know what I mean? That's their I'm. going to go up on stage and just [ __ ]. bomb. Oh, dude. And everyone's going to. hate me and it's going to be that social.

anxiety that I fear in my head, but I'm. going to live it real and at the end. it's going to be over. It's going to be. the coming probably. You know what I. mean? Just like the people that hurt. themselves or people that do weird. things. It's just like [sighs and gasps]. >> [ __ ] Yeah, it's [ __ ]. [clears throat] up. >> Bully me. I'm going to come. [laughter]. >> I mean, that'd be kind of sick if that. worked. That'd be awesome. >> Yeah, I mean I wish I came [laughter]. after I bombed. >> Yeah. Well, new new set. [laughter]. >> Well, dude, thank you so much, man. >> Certainly. >> Hell yeah.

>> Thank you. I appreciate it for. >> course, man. >> Dude, rocked. >> I feel like this is a monumental moment, >> dude. I'm This going to be on my. tombstone. [laughter]. >> I'm so excited, >> dude. Thank you, man. >> Yes, sir. >> I'm go pee. >> Thank you. >> Hell yeah, man. >> I never know when we're done. Are we. done? >> Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane. secret podcast on Spotify. >> Do it.