Ep 604 - Tyler Gerben (feat. Steve Gerben, Dan Soder, Billy & Spud)
Wow. Wow. Wes. >> Hey guys, we're here. We're live from. the [ __ ] the manosphere. >> We do have the chess board out to show. everybody. >> This is the premium sub. >> We think about this is what we do, dude. >> You got to get them in. You got to get. them in the telegram. >> Me and Spud come down here and sit. silently and play chess for hours. >> How can we have. >> And then we have threesomes. [laughter]. >> Me and Spade split whips. >> All these girls with Spud tattooed on. them. >> Yeah. Their [ __ ] main people have to. be like 13year-olds cuz if you like.
could actually sell multiple chicks a. dude like 13-year-old boys like, "Hey, I. want three girlfriends." That would be. sick. It's like, "Dude, that's [ __ ]. >> Oh, you mean trying to sell that to. regular dudes?". >> Like adult men that are like, "I can't. get one girlfriend. What the [ __ ] are. these guys talking about?". >> That's what me and S were talking about. that the other day. The dudes are like, "Don't chase them, dude.". >> Yeah. >> If you don't chase, they'll come to you. It's like, "Dude, they won't.". >> Yeah. >> They're not even going to know you. exist. >> Yeah. You just go to go to your job, go. back home. >> Go to your job, go back home. >> You're going to be the machinist. >> I'm never going to chase [ __ ] You.
just [laughter]. >> No one knows you live. >> Yeah, >> dudes are invisible. They kind of have a. point, but then the guys that get really. sucked into it like Louis out on those. documentaries. The dude's sitting there, he's like grilling them a little bit and. then the guy's like, "Yeah, well, you. know, I had problem my dad. I didn't. really I have a strong male figure." And. they're like, "What happened to your. dad?" He's like, "He took his own life.". And it's like, dude, how does he find. these guys? Like Louis just rolls up on him. >> Yeah, >> he's the best. Dude, Scientology one is. like. >> that's one of the best documentaries, dude. >> The Scientology SC. You better not get.
into that. You German actually would. >> Yeah, you better not. >> No, dude. >> Who are we talking to? >> Yeah, we you would be a Scientologist. >> Scientologist. >> You what? >> Gervin, if you give them all your money, it'll make all your dreams come true. >> No. [laughter]. >> What if they were like, "You will be the. next Tom Cruz.". >> This is what they do, dude. >> Okay. >> I know exactly how he operates to be. like, "I don't give a [ __ ] about this. religion. [laughter] And I'm just doing. We give some [ __ ]. >> I I did uh listen to Lawrence Wright's. book on. >> Yeah. The Going Clear. >> Go and clear. Yeah.
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. I thought that was. >> What did you think of it? >> I thought it was great when I read it or. listened to it. >> You wouldn't consider joining the. church? >> No. >> Why? >> Why would I? >> All your money. They'll bone smash you. Give you a jaw. >> Oh, they won't give you a jaw. >> You'll be the Tom Cat, dude. You'll be. the next Maverick. >> Wow. That's you would do in a heartbeat, dude. It's like, yeah, you're definitely. rooster or something. >> Yeah. >> See, so you're the guy. Yeah, that's. tough. And so I just And then I like. what's my obligation? >> You got to give them all your money. >> Oh, all my money.
>> All your money. >> No. No. Then it goes beyond that. Your. obligation is for billions of years. >> Yeah. You sign a contract sign. >> You got to live in outer space. >> Yeah. >> All right. Then no. >> You don't want to live in outer space. Mission impossible. >> What? >> You don't want to be in [ __ ] MI13. It might be the only technology that can. save humanity. >> and all the rest of the galaxy for. millions of years. >> Yeah, >> could be. >> Could be. >> I mean, >> I try to be an SP. >> I like the political answer though. You. don't want to disparage Scientology. [laughter] It could be. Maybe the rough.
>> I don't think that it is. >> You're going to disparage Scientologist. I just did it. >> Bro, you're never going to be Tom Cruz. Are you familiar? Are you familiar with. squirrel busting? >> I don't know what squirrel busting is. It's when Scientologists get on your ass. and they start to [ __ ] your day up. It's. called squirrel busting. That's what. they do to suppressive people. >> Oh, if you guys didn't listen carefully, >> I must be getting squirrel busted, dude. I can't I don't know where these [ __ ]. my days suck. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. The Scientology. Um once you get.
into it though, like at some point that. could have been Christianity where. everyone's like, "Dude, the guy [ __ ]. made it up. He just wrote a bunch of. books and now is I'm just saying I'm. just saying it could be like that. [ __ ] thousand years from now. Yeah. [laughter]. >> Checkmate, dude. >> Do not say thousand years from now, someone could be like, "Dude, for real. That's not funny to say." [laughter]. >> I don't respect pawns, dude. >> It's chess and it's 5D. >> I think I've talked about this before, but when I saw that uh sex cult.
documentary, >> oh yeah, >> the excess or whatever it was. >> It's what? Nexium. >> Nexium. at the end of that when the women were. like outside the jail. He's in jail and. there's like women outside the jailer. >> He's one he's kind of tangential to. Epstein gone. >> I was like I get killing Jesus cuz. [laughter]. >> there's a point to where you're like. >> and then they do it like that and you're. like they're [laughter] real. >> Jesus get rid of this guy. It's just I. mean granted cooler heads would prevail.
I thought you were talking about the. Bill O'Reilly. >> More women out here. >> What are you talking about? Why are you. talking about killing Jesus? >> Dude, [laughter]. >> I just say, hold on. I was just. >> I'm not trying to be anti-Semitic. >> Yes, but. >> what you just said was [ __ ] up towards. our religion. Too soon. Of course it is. Too soon. Well, >> and I understand the Jews. >> [ __ ] the third temple, dude. [ __ ] all. your [ __ ]. >> Oh, I'm [ __ ] spot on. >> Is you you're you know, you've got a you. got a society and then somebody's doing. you know this and and it's just like the. women are coming into this cult. Everybody's getting sick and they're.
outside the jail. Just go, "All right, enough.". >> Yeah. >> You know, >> no, that is true, though. That's exactly. actually what happened to Jesus. [laughter] was the Romans were like, "All right, the Jews are going nuts like. [ __ ] kill him." And they're like, "All right, dude. I don't get I don't. give a [ __ ] What are you guys talking. about? >> It's like a far outpost.". >> And that's the story they told us, dude. You know, >> the truth is not the truth. Obviously, I. don't, you know, I would never dare to. say I know the truth, but. >> the historical books about it are very. funny.
>> about Jesus. >> When you think about like so Jerusalem. [laughter]. >> [ __ ] Bill O'Reilly. >> Yeah. Killing Jesus. >> It was Bill O'Reilly. >> Bill O'Reilly had chat GBT before anyone. just fired off 20 bucks. >> Killing No, it was uh it was like. Jerusalem was a. >> It was during what what holiday was it? It was a Jewish holiday. >> Passover. It was uh. >> talking about like the last summer and. stuff. >> Yeah. >> Passover. Passover. like [ __ ]. >> So, Jerusalem was just packed. >> like 10 times more than it usually was. So, it was like 150,000 Jewish people.
and there was like 50 like 50 Romans in. a garrison. That's all they had. And it. was already like. >> it was already a hot bed. The the Judea, they were getting wild over there. But. then they were like, "You need to kill. him." [laughter]. >> And they were like, "Dude, if we don't. kill this [ __ ] guy, they're going to. storm our [ __ ] garrison.". >> Interesting. >> Yeah, it was you guys 100%. >> I get hit with a lot of fake sailors. I think they're doing Passion, too. >> I've heard that. I've heard like, >> but I get hit with so many fake. >> Heard the comeback. >> The resurrection. >> Yeah, >> dude. Who the [ __ ] knows? I got.
>> What's good? >> Yeah, that was embarrassing. >> Gets hit with fake fake [ __ ]. >> I was just talking about Harry Potter. I. was just walking around talking about uh. JK Rings, how it's I mean, it's not an. original. People have covered this, but. how bass she is, how funny that is. >> She hates lesbian. >> We just talking about the the Gringots, the bank. >> Oh, yeah. >> She made goblins. >> Everyone does. Mitch will just get on. Twitter and be like, "Yo, trans people. need to shut the [ __ ] up." [laughter]. Just like, "Yo, who is this lady?". >> Sick. >> She fell on hard times, dude. >> Crazy. I don't think she's crazy.
>> No, she's not crazy at all. She's bass, dude. She has [ __ ] $50 billion. She. wrote the most popular book of all time. >> Yeah. >> She's like, "Yeah, she gets on Twitter's. like, "Yo, shut the [ __ ] up, lesbians.". [laughter]. Like, I could. go on. I mean, probably no one has told. her what to do in a long ass time. If. you write all those in movies, >> she's probably I mean, imagine what she. said behind closed doors about chicks. Probably shouldn't have never heard. before. >> You're going to tweet about trans. people. You know what that means? You're. saying behind [laughter].
>> or like wine, dude. >> She could be wine. >> Chase get drunk on wine and hit that. tweet. >> Thank god your parents don't do it. >> Oh my god, dude. What would your parents. be hitting? Oh, hold on. Let me tell. you. I see at seven's on. Everyone tune. in. I had a good Phil conversation. I. called Phil to be like, "Yo, you you. hyped about your boy. >> Your [ __ ] boy going to war with Iran. You [ __ ] hyped about it because I. knew his I knew his tank. I knew what it. was going to be." He was like, "Oh yeah, Shane, would you want to [ __ ] get. blown up?" [laughter] And I was like,
"By who?" He's like, >> "Iran. They can't have a nuke, Shane." And I. was like, "Dude, I'm not going to get. blown up. I might get blown up now. Now. there could be a terrorist attack." He. was like, "Yeah, cuz [ __ ] that idiot. before Trump let all those [ __ ]. terrorists into the country.". >> Changes every four years. [laughter]. >> We were rich back then. We were doing. really good. Yeah, that's what my. parents are. Um, >> big My mom's big on Jesse. My dad always. tries to hit like, "I don't watch that. shit." And then like I go, he calls me.
from Florida. He's like, "What's the Fox. News app?" I was like, "It's YouTube TV. now, dude. You don't need the Fox News. app." But how do I know what's on? I was. like, "It's live TV. It's just on an. app, dude. Think how good it must feel. >> What's that [ __ ] I said I canceled to. Fox one? >> Oh, they kill you with everything, >> dude. They they sneakily subscribe you. to [ __ ] now. >> It's literally cable. >> They're giving us It's my dad getting. $500 Comcast bills, dude. >> It's what it's for. It's ripping off old. people. >> Prime does commercials now. Netflix is. going to do commercials. Oh, yeah. So,
it's going to be $18.99 regular Netflix. You get commercials. So, like in the. middle of your special, it'll be like. commercial. >> No, I know that. I've had this discuss. 25 bucks. I had to have this discussion. >> What the [ __ ] is that, dude? >> It's crazy. Nights of the Seven Kingdom. is made for TV. >> I I did I said you can't I don't want to. do it ads ever. >> And then they were like, well, we can. have it like presented by a product. >> So it' be like Gillette, >> beautiful dogs presented by [ __ ] dude. wipes. [laughter] Like no manscape. >> See, you do like native ads with your. jokes about products.
>> You just start doing standup like UFC. fighters. Just everything all over your. shirt. >> to hide. I should go out shirtless. Just. in [ __ ] tight be nuts. >> Yeah, they're. >> just in a UFC outfit. Tiny penis. sticking out. No cup. [laughter]. >> Nub sticking out. UFC. Yeah. Do that, >> dude. If they didn't, dude, you'd see. it. >> I don't know. >> See a knuckle during a fight. >> Yeah, it's a small tiny penis during a. fight. >> Yeah, that is really [ __ ] small, bro. Especially if you're clinched up like. that. Then it kind of sucks in on itself.
>> for too long. Your dick's a nub. >> Yeah, it's mine's inverted right now. >> It's part of your fat [ __ ] Yeah, >> it's [laughter] it's part literally my. bushy is hanging over my penis. >> Feels like a clip. [laughter]. >> Well, now I'm thinking about it. >> I play Super Mario right now on a Super. Nintendo cross-legged like an autistic. kid until my back hurts and then I get. up my dick's like inside myself. >> Are you on the carpet? >> No, I'm on a bed. >> Damn. I wish you were on the carpet. >> No, I I can't do that. I wish [ __ ]. hit the mom Donnie, dude. [laughter]. Chill, dude. Can you get my dad pissed.
off talking about that? >> True. >> [ __ ] mom Dami. Like, dude, he's not. your mayor. I didn't know the Bay of New. York had a giant house like that. >> Yeah, that was crazy. I didn't know the. guys who bombed it had a giant house. like that. >> What are we talking? >> You said real. >> I was afraid to get into politics, but. I'll get it. I brought it up. Let's do. it. [clears throat]. >> You said that [ __ ] where they turned. into anime. >> I regret saying I was deliberate. >> Scientologist or the Christ the Christ. thing. >> Well, you shouldn't have said that. >> Well, but that's fine. >> Yeah. Good. Good. >> I'm glad that weighed on your soul. >> It did weigh on my soul, but not for the. reason that you wanted to. It was just,
you know, Go ahead. >> Talking about killing Christ. No, I was. just saying. >> you're the worst. You said earlier. earlier in the podcast he said I. understand why we killed Jesus. >> No, I said I understand. I said if you. could swam on me. >> Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Geries G is [ __ ]. Republic. [laughter]. >> Hold on. You must messages from. headquarters. >> Gies is a Fox News square dances. [laughter]. >> Gies is a Fox News. Probably every. Jewish final for Fox News. Fox Fox News.
Republican. >> Oh. Well, it's funny you took that. [laughter]. not a [ __ ] woman. >> Uh, but no, what I was suggesting, you know, it was not not. >> You don't have to cover it. Yeah, it's. fine. And also, they already clipped it, so. >> Oh, great. >> Yeah, you're good. >> They're never going to they're never. going to Well, he says he feels bad. about when he said he understood why. they killed Jesus. >> Understand why why somebody would say we. should kill this guy. >> That's already being a joke world. >> I get what you were trying to say. We. were just regular balls. Little boss.
Yeah, but they're not going to put this. part in the clip. [laughter]. >> It's just going to be you doing that. >> You just understand the concept of a. nuisance. Yeah. >> A social nuisance. Jesus. >> Oh, no. You know, not to say that Jesus, but my, you know, my general. understanding of is that at the time. there was also like a lot of messiahs. Air quotes. >> That comes from this is what they teach. you in [ __ ]. >> this is old Hebrew school. [laughter]. >> This is Hebrew talk. >> I dug myself into a deep. There's only. one true god and they chose you guys as.
the chosen ones. >> I mean, >> good lord. You know what it was? We went. to uh. >> Yeah, [clears throat] I'll tell you. exactly what has triggered. >> What did you do on Birthright when you. went? >> You went didn't go. No. >> Nice. >> Uh get. >> That's tough. I mean, go. >> He could have been swimming in [ __ ] in. television. Also homosexual kind of a. cool world. >> Jewish necklace where matters. [laughter]. >> We got to chill. >> Yeah. Well, what's that? >> Nothing. >> Oh, um, but what was I going to say? Oh,
yeah. Because we went we went to this. animal expo and then like Oh, yeah. I. was walk by I didn't tell you this, but. I walked by you that grabbed the cat. >> No, it was just an old gal. [ __ ]. sick. >> And some guy was like, "Oh, there goes. that Jewish guy." So, that's sort of. like in my head that you Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to his friend. >> What? >> Yeah. It was just like a thing that. >> I don't know, dude. You don't Yeah. You. don't You're like a day walker. Yeah, you're not really into you don't really. like. >> Well, I think it's just from the show or.
what? You know, whatever it is. No, not. it's not not your bad. I just Is it Did. I play that? [laughter]. >> No, they went to a cat expo. >> We went to a cat animal, dude. I went to Judging Cats. >> Are you serious? >> Like they took him out of a Yeah, they. put them on a table. >> They do that. >> Yeah, you can look at the cats. Now, this is like a. >> Blue Russians. This is nice. >> It was sick. But, uh, this guy, this guy. was walking by with his main [ __ ] who. apparently he lost cuz he was fired up. But, uh, >> yeah,
>> watch this dude in the front row. He. goes for it. >> He went to it. >> He grabs his ball, dude. [laughter]. >> Holy [ __ ]. >> Guys, you [ __ ]. >> dude. Show cats. Never thought of that. in my entire life. >> As soon as I heard about it, I was like, we got to get there. Look at this [ __ ]. dude. >> Holy [ __ ]. >> Big ass main coons. >> You got to get here. >> How come this isn't on TV like the dog? cuz no one cares. [laughter]. >> Please. >> Holy [ __ ] that was great. >> Yeah, it was uh it was it was a. wonderful experience. I didn't know. there was uh Jewish hate at the cat.
>> Who knows if it was hate? It was just. like hell every year. It's at an all. time. >> I identified. >> it's every day anymore. [laughter]. >> It doesn't stop. >> It doesn't stop. But then if I'm going. to but that Super Bowl ad really. actually affected me and I stop. [laughter]. >> couple couple briskies. So what you say what' you say about. Jesus? [laughter]. >> That is exactly what I was worried about. getting. No the mom dami thing worried. about where sodami.
got bombed. >> Yes, dude. Did you see that? >> There's these two psycho kids. >> Yeah, but that wasn't at Mom Dami. That. was. >> That was at his house. >> That was at his Oh, they were at But I. thought it was at the protesters at his. house. >> No, over the protest. Over the. protesters? >> No, it was over the pro-immigrant. protesters at the anti-immigrant. protest. >> Oh, I thought it was at his house. >> It was in front of the script. >> Sure, but it was at the protesters. It. was at the it was at the Patriots. >> Whatever. But they're making cool anime. like [ __ ] reels of. >> the animes are starting to work. >> Yeah, I like it. >> But no, the kids who did it, they have. they live in like a five bedroomedroom,
four bath house in B County. It's nice. as [ __ ]. >> It's all that crazy. >> What happened? >> Their house is crazy. >> The guy that threw the bomb. >> Yes. It always is like that. >> Yeah, the Luigi guy. >> It's never broke guys doing political. stuff. >> Obviously, dude, they can't get to New. York. [laughter]. >> You'd have to give them G's. >> I always saw that. I was like, why. aren't these guys at work? >> Wait, you thought the Muslim terrorists. were throwing that at. >> his house? >> Yeah. >> Oh, whatever. >> No, they I think they were throwing it. at a. >> goes in figure. I make it up.
>> I don't even know if he's a white. nationalist. Yeah, I don't know anything. about. >> kind of just going with what I'm feeling. lately. I actually I kind of agree with. that. >> Make the make [ __ ] up. >> Yeah, I like it. >> Disinfo is kind of. >> I just keep telling people I'm going to. open the straight of hormones. [laughter] Anytime someone's like, "They're closing the straight and the. oil's going. I'm going to open it. I'm. going over there. I'm opening it and. they go gas is going to be $130 a. barrel." No, it's not. [laughter]. >> Oil is $130 this week. No, it's not. It's. >> got to hit your dad with the Trump. I do. $4. Oh, yeah. That's going to be good. >> You got to do that. >> Oh, nice. >> Start making Trump.
>> They were doing the Biden. I did that. Yeah. I mean, >> dude, my dad was doing like he was 16. years old at one thing he was doing. >> Your dad was You got like 50 of them. >> It was amazing. >> Yeah, dude. >> They're in his whip. They're all over. the place on his dashboard. On his dash. and his. >> on the little go-kart. >> Yeah. On his go-kart. On the dash on. like the fuel. There's Biden pointing. I. did that. >> You know how awesome that feels if. you're getting this [ __ ] [ __ ] is. making my gas expensive. They just made. a sticker. My dad said he went by the uh. I mean, they're funny as [ __ ]. [laughter].
>> It's amazing. You'll never feel like. that. You know, >> I wish I had a side that like I wish I. could pick a side that hard. >> I wish I could just buy in no matter. what. >> When I order those white rabbits that I. was on drugs, >> my dad it'd be so nice to be like, I'm. right. >> Oh, yeah. >> It feels good. >> They figured it out. The guy I listen to. actually is right about this, believe. me. But that he went by the ICE protest. or the No Kings or whatever. And it's. all old people, too. So like all the old. people in Swathmore are doing like No. Kings protest. The no kings was.
definitely for the geese. >> My dad drives by in a Nissan Pathfinder. that he got. It's a 98 Pathfinder he. bought for like 3G's and he looks at all. just starts the. >> 08 for Trump. >> Got a old one. >> Oh wow. >> Yeah. He just like I just went like this. to them. Like that's sick, dude. They. must have been pissed. [laughter]. >> Dude, we watched a great like little. conspiracy where it was like they got. rid of all the cars when they did Cash. for Clunkers. All that was to like No, that's Cash for Kids. Cash for kids. Cash for kids straight straight. Pennsylvania. >> What are we not allowed to know that?
>> No, I'm just saying careful. >> Are we allowed to know that? >> Cash for kids is [ __ ] nuts. Nobody. talks about that. >> Shane Olivia. >> Hold on. Are we allowed to talk about. cash for kids? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Free content. >> Cash cards for kids. >> That's good. Central PA lore. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What? Cars for kids. >> Cash for kids. >> Straight to Israel. [laughter]. >> I'm unfamiliar. I. >> Oh, yeah. Sure. You. >> They had like a prison system thing. going on. I missed that. >> I am unfamiliar. What? >> No, the cash for clunker [ __ ] They like. there was a good ass video about how. they usually just get rid of every. reliable whip. >> We had reached like such a peak in.
analog engines then they were like no. digital ones with kill switches on. >> but how are we going to get rid of all. these awesome cars pull it off but it. was actually we debunked it in real. time. >> Only 680,000 cars got cashed in so it. didn't really have an effect. >> Yeah, it's not much. >> Yeah, I debunked it so jury's still out. >> This episode is brought to you by Prize. Picks. Shoot your shot on Prize Pix and. get $50 instantly in lineups when you. play your first $5. That's right. Price. Pix is now giving you $50 in lineups.
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>> No, >> once video games get real good then I'll. go damn AI is out of control. >> And AI can't even find an old. >> fine dude. >> Me [clears throat] and Bill are looking. for an old meme. >> I need better graphics. >> Yeah, I'm trying to find a real old. >> We're finding an old meme from like 2016. maybe. 2011. >> No, it was when Oh, it was Yeah, it's. old meme, man. >> It's a meme of uh George Bush. >> I swear to God, I don't know what's. happening. >> What do you mean. >> like in conversation right now? >> I'm sorry. Are we [ __ ]. >> last 10 minutes? No, I don't gives a. [ __ ] [laughter].
>> It's probably funny. >> It's probably funny. You talk about. cash. >> I don't trust AI did come. >> I did like that. >> Yeah, >> there's a meme that we're looking for. So, Billy's like, "Dude, Rogan's got. perplexity. Get this. We're looking for. this meme of. >> talking about you name drop Rogan like. that. >> No, I was talking to. >> dude. My brother was on Rogan, dude. I. can get us in touch with Perplexity. My. brother did Rogan, dude. I know Rogan. >> SP has $17 perplexity. And then I was. like, dude, it's like all of them in one. cuz he was using Grock and Grock is kind. of ass. >> Yeah, Grock's.
>> and then he started using perplexity. That's. >> I I'm investing in AI and defense. contracts right now. >> That's good. >> But it's George Bush throwing the. football. >> AI. the me you've definitely seen It's a. meme of George Bush handing off a. football is open, dude. I just opened. it. What? >> It's a meme of George Bush handing a. football off to Obama in a poppy field. >> In a poppy field. >> and like Osama bin Laden's in the. background. >> And there's also the the skies. >> Who made this? >> It's an old meme. >> Oh, >> I'm like the king of memes.
>> But perplex [laughter]. skinny pull-ups, bro. >> Yeah, you look. >> pull-ups over and over and over again. >> You look like a [ __ ] tier one. operator. >> I was trying to do handstand push-ups. >> 10 hands. >> I know. I heard he does them at the gym. >> I can do eight push-ups. >> That's good. >> Yo, Gerby's looked like a tier one. operator today. >> Shredded. >> Went to the gun range. >> That's right. We went to the gun range. >> He uh the whole time I'm like, "You're. going to love it." He never fired a gun. I was like, "It's so sick. You're going. to love it." Soon as we get in there, a. couple loud pops from down the range. He. was like, [laughter]. >> "Oh shit." He called it an air strike.
>> Yeah. He called in the cobble air. strikes. >> Yeah. >> He said, "Oh god, they're in here. [laughter] Blow it up. I found them." bombs without a siren. >> Yeah, I I I clammed up. I didn't think I. was going to clam up. And uh. >> being walk with you, brother. >> No, he sent some leaflets to the range. first. [laughter]. >> He said, "I'm going to blow this up. tomorrow." So, everyone clear out. [laughter and gasps]. >> No, it is scary, dude. [ __ ] go to the. range. It's like. >> It is. It is. It's very in Especially. right when you get in there.
>> Oh, yeah. >> Like the first like 5 10 minutes going. in there, you're like, "Holy [ __ ] I'm a. [ __ ] dude. I'm so scared." And then. our our our the guy giving us all the. guns and showing us how to do everything. was seemed like a tier one operator. dude. He's like, "All right, this is. what you do. You flip this. You [ __ ]. slap this and then you're good to go.". Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. I yelled at him. I said, "I. don't know what single thing you just. said.". >> A machine gun. [laughter]. >> I'm like, "So, [clears throat] you got. to [ __ ] start over, dude. >> Can you say this is your workplace? All. right. This is your [ __ ] workspace. Now you [ __ ] do this.". >> Do they coach though coach you though?
Like. >> Yeah. >> Uh, a little. I I think. >> given I'll be honest that guy was a. little fast and loose. I liked him. He. was but. >> yeah I think it was the nature of our. group. >> Yeah. >> I I would have preferred potentially not. not not you know again throwing shade. He was the awesome. >> he was the man. You were just a scary. person. >> I was scared. So I think I wanted. somebody to be like. >> he started yelling at him while he's. giving him the. >> somebody. to hold the gun behind you like this. >> Yeah. >> Honestly the first one Yes. [laughter]. >> cuz he fired it. He fired one round. It.
had a [ __ ] silencer on it and no. kick. It was literally the gun I have. >> It's literally just nothing. >> No, it's a MS. It's like a It's a. carbine that fires a [ __ ] 9 mm. So, it's against your shoulder. >> Gun bullet. >> Yes. So, it doesn't move, >> dude. The shotgun. >> He fired it once. >> Wild. >> He fired one round. It was just like, okay. [laughter]. >> And then cuz he was uh then I was like, well, let me just do something. >> This isn't for me. >> Let me just do something like smaller. with a handgun. So, he had a Glock 9. I. think that's what it's called. whatever. the police.
>> handgun was it's way worse than that. >> Way worse. So, he like fired it and I I. was I told you guys beforehand, but like. I wasn't even expecting a shell to come. out that fast. >> And it's just like the immediate. violence, the noise and then the shell. coming out. I was like, "No.". >> Just stood back. >> I just stood back. I tried to be a team. player and take video and I was just. like, >> I know. >> I felt like it was on a ride that I. wanted to get off of. >> the uh the best was just so he's got I I. thought it was the headphones and then I. realized you were actually screaming at. the guy. >> [laughter]. >> I thought I was like, "Maybe he thinks.
he's he's talking. He's talking too loud. because of the headphones." No, he was. yelling. The guy was like, "All right, you can [ __ ] do this. Here you go.". And he was like, "I didn't understand. anything you said. You're going to have. to start over.". >> No, no, I didn't say I didn't say it. like that, but I was like, "Yeah, I had. a smile on my face." But then So, so. then they wheeled in a. >> Yeah. belt. >> belt loaded uh machine gun or beltfed. machine gun. And even the guy that. brought it in was like, "This is a once. in a lifetime thing to shoot.". >> Oh, yeah. >> So, then I watched everybody else do it. and I was like, 50 cal. >> No, >> but it was uh it was sick.
>> Yeah, >> but Gerby's it was nice to watch Gerby's. muster the courage. >> and he did it. He fired one bullet. He. fired one bullet from the first gun and. then stood in the back the entire time. It was like this just. >> could have stayed a [ __ ] the whole. time. >> And then a machine gun came out and he. [ __ ] did it. It was pretty sick. >> That's awesome. >> Proud of you, Gerbish. >> Thanks, dude. And uh. >> man, how about that adrenaline? >> That's why I said like the moment I came. off that I was like, >> "Yeah, you're like, where's the. schools?" [laughter]. I know it's. >> they're under the hospitals.
[laughter]. >> What is this? >> Easy. It's a layup. Bring a Jewish guy. to a gun range. Start shooting the. floor. [laughter]. >> Oh, yeah. No, the target's right there. He's Well, there's other targets. There's some. >> I hate to say it. >> What? >> But great, you know, another Jewish lady. involved. She did shoot the ceiling. >> Oh, she was hitting everything. Especially before we go in, she's like, I'm good at everything. I'm such a good. shoot. Like a shot. She goes in there, hits the [ __ ] wall.
>> They're like, "Dude, you cannot hit the. wall.". >> The tray. >> ricochets. You cannot hit the wall. >> Dude, the one time his brother took me, he was like, dude, this is going to be. awesome. We rolled in. There was a guy. on a date. It was like a snow bunny. Black Panther party situation. And I was. like, yo, [laughter] I I was like. scared. This guy had like dreads down. here and he was like waving like a. [ __ ] AR-15 type thing around. This is. at Aan Spring Garden. inner city in a. small room that dome someone in. >> co dude and I was like we all have.
bullets. >> oh wait that guy killed someone. >> yeah they try to break into his [ __ ]. spot I think it's that one more in that. area they [ __ ] come in he's just. sitting there dude like can't wait. >> he's like oh this is luck it pops. [laughter]. >> dude's die. >> that guy's the man standing ground. >> also there's nothing. >> living all your whole life in that. moment. >> nothing makes me happier than seeing. black dudes and white dudes together at. the range dude. >> I was scared though I is like, "Yo, >> you got all worried. We're. >> This is it. Two A boys getting. together.".
>> I didn't realize it was uh so expensive, though. The ammo is wild. >> A lot of money. >> It's not good. >> They treated us really good. That was. awesome. >> Oh, yeah. That place is awesome. >> Uh but yeah, Gerby's. >> Are you going to purchase. >> uh at some point? Yeah. But I'm going to. go back for I'm going to shoot the Glock. 9. Like that I. >> That's fun to shoot. >> Yeah, that was one that after the. machine gun that felt like I got my. cherry coughs enough. >> [ __ ] Bonds gun. PB7. Yeah, >> PB7, dude. >> Yeah, you should. Oh, you see that. smile? Damn it. It's.
>> gold nine, bro. >> This is what I'll say about will get his. ass in that [ __ ] You'll be You'll be. the next sucking of a smile on it. >> Piece of [ __ ]. >> Look at him in a tux, dude. >> You should go outside instead, though. I. feel like that would calm me down. >> That's what I was saying. Out outdoor. gun rangers are a lot better. >> Okay, but that gun range was cool. And. they had like they had this smoking. section. It was like warehouse. Yeah. I. want to see gigantic fireplace. Usually. the best indoor range I've ever seen. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You know, like that show thing where. they have little. >> mainline Armor.
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Kiana Reeves [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> He's Nath Shane did that, >> dude. John Wick. >> Yeah, I go there. >> If John Wick was one movie, all four. movies, if that was one movie, it' be. the best movie ever. >> Yeah, I would. >> I agree. >> The white John Wick's like a Dodge. Challenger commercial. >> I watched them all at one like all at. once one night and I was like, dude, I. wish that was just one movie. The first. John Wick I just watched randomly like. no one was talking about. It was like. right when it came out and I was sitting. there watching I was like let's see this. piece of [ __ ] movie. Kiana Reed's action. movie. [ __ ] dog [ __ ] Halfway through.
I was like this might be the best movie. I've ever seen. >> Really? I haven't seen it tonight. It. was when I lived in Kocket and then I. brought Matt over and I was like bro. check this out. early. >> Yeah. He saw it with me like immediately. and then he was like [ __ ] sucks. And I. was like, I swear to God, it's all I. watched it like five times, [laughter]. >> dude. I was like just getting bros over going, "Dude, wait till you see this shit.". >> That 80s flick I sent you. >> Is it real? >> Humiliated animal kingdom. >> Animal Kingdom, dude. It's star-studded.
and it's real. It's like a quiet like. [ __ ] gangster movie. It's nice. Australian gangster. Australian crime. family. Nice. >> I got one for you. You're going to like. this. Gerby's has a new theory he just. hit me with. Do you think we're like. fight club or something? >> That's right. Yeah. Yeah, that uh like. I'm his Tyler Deran. >> He thinks he's Tyler Duran. >> Well, that I'm his Tyler Deran. >> He thinks he's Brad Pitt Tyler. >> All right, hold on. I got to I got to. like actually grab this for a minute. >> Yeah, you got to wait till you hear. this. >> You're the dude. >> You're Edorton. >> No, he's. just the reverse. >> Whoa. [laughter].
>> Yes. >> Whoa, dude. >> Yes. >> That's all the things. >> All the things that he represses. >> He thinks I'm repressing. the diverse. Let's just get our clothes, Taylor. But Gerb, >> let's get hair. >> Gerbs, listen. So Shane is the guy. looking at. >> We're not getting hair. >> So Shane's hair wearing hats until we're. bald just right. >> So you're saying Shane's the guy that's. looking at the NPC IKEA catalog not. knowing what to do. >> No, no, no. But you're the guy that's. living in a house with Bellatrix Lrange.
>> Yeah. Basic like those would be the. characters, but he's not looking at IKEA. cataloges. He's like watching football. and all that stuff, right? Meanwhile, you've got me on a plane and I'm going. that shirt would look a lot better if. you got it tailored and he's like this. that and the other James Bond and. >> the guy who just had a panic attack at. the gun. [laughter]. [laughter]. >> That'd be good. >> That's it. He's got a pump. >> So he thinks he thinks Chester's going.
to implode. >> Don't be Meatloaf. [laughter]. He thinks I'm repressing things because. he says stuff like, "Oh, Jolene is a the. cutest date spot." No, >> cutest. >> Exactly. >> I say cute. It's a cute It's a. >> Somebody will be like, "What about this. barn?" He goes, "Oh, that's such a cute. date spot." I heard him say that and I. said, >> "Now, why are you doing that with your. eyes?". >> Shut the [ __ ] up. Cute. Cuz we're. straight. >> We're all straight. >> You don't say a cute date spot. >> Hey Siri, what does the word cute mean? Bro, >> I think you're going to be. >> This is so Jewish. [laughter].
appealing in a pretty dang it. >> Who uses Okay, I'll read it. Oh, >> it's got to stop. You don't. >> got your cheating. >> Still listen to me. >> Still listen to me. [ __ ] still listen. to [laughter] me. >> It was like I'm peeling in a pretty or. something. >> Yeah, you say like babe and [ __ ] which. makes me uncomfortable. >> Sexy babe. >> That that kind of. >> saying babe to dudes. >> to girls. >> No. >> Well, I mean I don't know if you're like. a Chad. Jay's fine. Think about it. >> Still true.
>> I'm sorry. Sorry it makes you. uncomfortable. It does make me. uncomfortable because you're like, "Bro, this dude's got this kind in your head. >> I wish I could. >> drop that." You know what I mean? >> Drop of that. Oh yeah. >> Yeah. The com machismo. He's trying to. wear cowboy hats and cowboy boots. >> He does. >> Are you talking for real? >> He works out in a cowboy hat and a. [ __ ] wife beater in his gym. I only. know one other guy that does that. And. listen, >> Dude, are you the kid magic Mike? >> He listens to Shabuzzi while he does it. >> I don't know what Shabuzi Someone pour. me up a double shot of whis and he does.
but he can rip pull-ups. >> Yeah. >> Jack, dude, do you want to be Do you. want to be a millionaire? >> He is a millionaire. >> Oh, you are. [laughter]. >> Shane got reals of that. >> Damn. Push you over the edge. How are. you doing? >> You got me. >> Dude, reels of him in cowboy gear doing. pull-ups would be great. >> There's only one other dude I know who. wears a cowboy hat and works out. >> Hold on. It's I don't do it all the. time. And he did it once. It's [ __ ]. insane. [laughter]. >> It's [ __ ] insane. It's. >> crazy. I don't care.
>> I'm not trying to attack you. I swear to. God. >> Attack me. I don't care. >> No, I don't want to attack you cuz. [laughter]. >> I don't want to attack you. >> I'm never going to get over this. Tyler. turns. >> I know. I was hoping I was so excit. You're a goose. I'm Maverick. >> No, dude. I'm [ __ ] Maverick, bro. You're too big. >> You two are literally the only ones. other than me that'll go Gerbin. That's. nuts. He he he and him are. [clears throat] always around people. that are a part of our show. So call. >> theater. No, not necessarily yesmen, but.
just theater people. >> Oh. >> So like he'll be like a cute little date. spot. And I'm like, "Yo, that's [ __ ]. gay. You called it cute." And they're. like, >> he'll look at like a lady that works. there and be like, "I don't think it's. weird to say a cute date spot." And. they're always like, >> "Dude, I look right at you." And I go, "It's [ __ ] cute. What are you going. to do about [laughter]. >> just how guys talk to tire shops?". >> He's done it again. When you went on. Schultz's podcast, you're like, "Dude, the hardest thing to do is sing in front. of your boys." And they all bursted out. singing in harmony. I was like, "Okay, my boy will do it. >> You'll sing.".
>> No, I would play the tape back. I tried. really hard not to sing there. I said, "Guys, you can't you know, >> in that scenario, you would enjoy.". Yeah. >> Yeah. With it, >> it was I admit in that scenario, it was. pretty fun. >> Well, I tried not to do it. >> Nothing wrong with saying it. [laughter]. >> But, uh, >> you got to you Dude, there's so much. about Gerbin you need to know. I mean, dude, we used to have to sing. >> Got to hear his music in his car. >> We used to have to sing for church. >> The [ __ ] does it matter? What? Listen, everybody. >> No, it's just fun. I like it. Listen,
you. >> Pirates of the Caribbean, >> but like uh. >> that's the least that's the least gay. >> thing like a score or Zimmer. >> That's cool. Yeah. >> No, no, he's gonna hit Flow Rider. He's. gonna hit Bro, [laughter]. it's. >> like devastating. >> Are you YouTube music or Spotify? >> Spotify. What do you say? No. >> Oh, you you're not [laughter]. >> because I. >> Show me who you are. >> Because I like I I'm a real loosey. goosey with the likes. >> What's that?
>> I'm loosey goosey with the likes. Like. >> Do you make playlist though? >> Do I make playlists? So that's a yes. >> Of course. It's not at all making. playlists. See, you don't even know. what's gay or not at this point. It's. all blurred together. >> Hold on. >> Making a shame. Don't point at me, dude. >> No, I'll point at you because [laughter]. now Yeah. See, you would feel I feel. like a senator gets yelled at by. >> one man. [laughter]. >> This is just one man having an argument. with himself here. Dude, there is no. Tyler. >> This is the sex point. >> I know. I'm going to have two more.
beers. You guys are going to be gone. I'm going to be down here in the dark. [laughter]. >> [ __ ]. >> I made that whole thing up. I'm still my. beard. >> Googling outfits and stuff. >> You think I'm googling outfits? >> Probably. It's probably happened. You. probably sp You seen Terence Howard PBD? [laughter]. >> No. Spade sent me the clip of Terence. Howard talking to PBD and he was like, "Dude, it's just [ __ ] up." Like, and. [laughter] and Game of Thrones, seriously. And uh that dude started. having sex and like everyone just. started searching like incest porn and. stuff. It's like.
>> really that was just you, bro. You. started searching incest porn. Well, incest porn rocks. But are you looking. up outfits? >> You're making me want to rewatch. Cycloud. So, we we had a development. like a size development in my uh what? Oh yeah. >> Size of them. >> My my boys are large now. >> Yeah. So I the the shirt that I'm. wearing this season. >> No, Gerbin is Jack. >> No, I still have like that tiny tiny. frame. But uh I was like I I whatever. the shirt is. >> You're not Looks Max. You're not Life.
Max and then you're nothing. So. [laughter]. there's that. >> Well, you know. >> Well said. >> I like to spud Spud versus Gerbage. [laughter]. The the meeting of the minds. This is a. [ __ ] battle. Spud versus Gerbin. Two. most different people I've ever met. [laughter]. >> I think we combined IQ 16 just from. different different versions of autism. [laughter]. >> You're not autistic. I'm sorry. I can. see you're the most visible. >> No, I was even out. You know what I was?
>> I was I was I was still clocking you. You're way smarter than I am. >> I knew that. I saw your face on the 160. IQ and I felt bad cuz. >> I don't think you're dumb. He said it. obviously. >> I think I'm dumb. lately. You've been. saying it a lot and I don't think you're. dumb. >> Well, you've been saying you've been. saying you are dumb yourself. >> Yeah, I think I'm smart in like certain. ways that matter, but not not book. smart. >> What is your area of intelligence? >> Uh like social. >> I think you're very good at uh. communicating. >> Yeah. Thank you. >> Yeah. You're not afraid to you're not.
afraid to tell you tell people exactly. how you feel. >> in a. dumb brute. [laughter]. Uh, no. You're smart. You just I'm. surprised it took you so long to find. out you were dumb, though. >> Yeah, >> I hit that in like uh I was probably 20. high school, you know what I mean? No, no, I think I No, I waited. I was. probably like 30. We're like, we're not accepted at any. college. >> You think like what? >> I can figure this out. >> and there's an answer to be had and like.
I'll just figure it out. >> Yeah. I think it's just getting older. You go actually I don't [ __ ] know. anything, >> right? I mean, >> nothing's going to solve. Nothing's. going to ever be fixed. >> Whatever, >> dude. I'm so [ __ ]. >> [ __ ] it. I'll get some beers and be. racist. [laughter]. >> I'm so [ __ ] that I was like sitting. in my house like in probably like 2021. and I was like, I can wake up whenever I want, go to. sleep whenever I want. I don't even have. to check in with anything with my mom. I. >> thought about that. And I just went to.
sleep. >> When I was in high school, dude, it was. like phase two, the dumbest classes. I. was a senior. I had freshman in my. classes like whatever. [laughter]. >> I was like, "Yeah, whatever.". >> That's like [ __ ] [ __ ]. >> You're dumb as [ __ ]. >> Yeah. [ __ ] yeah. [laughter]. >> Not even try to hide that school. You're. smart. >> That must have been nuts for the. freshman that are like, "That guy's a. senior.". >> Oh yeah. And Billy was huge. It was. like, think of a freshman the same size. >> I was like 208. And.
>> dude, think of being a freshman and. being in a class like him or. Yeah, >> dude. >> You know what [ __ ] me up? I. >> Dude, you know what [ __ ] me up? We used. to break our teachers balls into. oblivion, dude. And they're all like my. age now or younger. >> Oh, yeah. >> Which is nuts because like 17-year-olds. are scoping them into like walking out. in the hallway and like taking. breathers. >> It's [ __ ] nuts. >> I get it, dude. I had a teacher. >> went to I went to a pizza shop this week. and there's like five teenagers in. there. They're like, "Yo, can we It's. like.
>> a couple of them were black. [laughter]. It was black teens and they were they. were they were nice fellas but as soon. as I walked in I was like oh god. [laughter]. >> and then we get a picture taking like. pictures. >> and then they all sat down and started. laughing. >> Yeah. >> And I was just sitting there waiting for. my pie. >> Brutal. >> I think they're making fun of me. [laughter]. >> They're literally making fun of me after. they just asked for pictures. They got. be mocked. [laughter]. >> Yeah. There was like it was it was math.
where the young kids were. So they were. like super smart freshmen in my math. classes. >> Yeah, sure. >> But like I mean the freshman were. [ __ ] geniuses. [laughter]. >> I mean seriously low phase algebra. >> Oh, you're killing me with this. >> I mean seriously. >> this is like a Tyler Duran right now. >> You I mean Tyler I mean dude I I told I. was stoned like I wouldn't do [ __ ]. >> They must be super smart. >> They must be [laughter] smart as hell. >> They're an algebra one dude. They're. freshman. Eighth graders must be [ __ ].
>> Maybe they're algebra, too. Maybe, dude. >> No, by that time we were in geometry, brother. [laughter]. >> I would [ __ ] up geometry. >> But you're not dumb at all. I know. I. just suck [ __ ] at math and I would not. math myself to study. >> Yeah, they would tell me. >> Well, I toss you in the eighth grade. class. [laughter]. >> Oh, phase one. No, freshman year. They're just. >> For some reason, you're getting like. defensive. >> I'm not. No, I'm trying to explain to. you the situation. >> Me, too. I'm not defensive. I'm trying to explain. to you the situation.
>> Freshman year, there was a phase one. >> Stop. [laughter]. >> Senior dude, it was dumb. >> My one boy my one boy was dumb as [ __ ]. with me and then he got on Aderall and. started passing everything. You. >> took all [ __ ]. >> dude. My me and my one boy were like. 6570s every class or every test. This. [ __ ] gets on aderall, starts. getting 85s. [laughter]. I was like, "Bro, how are you figuring. this out?" He's like, "I'm studying.". How do you have that? >> I would go home, look at this [ __ ] be.
like, "Fuck." Oh, man. Bill, you are the. [ __ ] bulliest. [laughter]. >> I'm not getting off the fence. I'm. trying to explain to you situation. >> I'm trying to literally show you how. stupid this was. I was in phase one. They get rid of it freshman year cuz. it's a college. >> That's what you're talking about. [laughter]. >> But you said no one knows what phase one. is. [laughter]. >> I'm sorry. I'm surrounded by geniuses. [laughter].
>> I'm dumb as [ __ ]. >> Just my ass was in the jackpot. [laughter]. >> I had have a have a 27. >> He loves my ass is in the jackpot. I. think right of all time. >> Did you put it in season two? >> Uh. >> I don't know if it made it. >> He's he like saw that clip and was like. I need to say my ass is in the jackpot. Yeah, that's nice. >> He said it like five He said it like. five five different scenes. [laughter]. She use a new sl new slang. I like that. Oh man, >> I I was so bad at math when I went to.
Drexel that the math class that I was. in, >> if you were that bad at math, you don't. go to Drexel, bro. >> You go to Delaware County Community. College and get president's list cuz. it's the third time you took out for. one. >> I'll tell you what, I failed statistics. in college, >> dude. Three times. >> And then I'm talking at three different. universities. Well, that's. >> finally I hit Harrisburg area community. college and I was like make some changes. >> [ __ ] on African dudes. They have no. idea what's going on. Like dude, Y.
equals MXP. It's simple. >> Community college [ __ ] rules. >> Shake your work. Oh, it's the [ __ ]. >> I took I took American Civil War. Our. our teacher was a Gettysburg tour guide. It was me and Harrisburg area community. college students. I was the only dude. who gave a [ __ ] and I knew a lot about. it already. This guy was like, "Shane, thank you." Yes. [laughter]. No one else was paying attention. I'd be. like, "That was that was uh General Me, right?" He'd be like, "It was me.". [laughter]. >> You're a YouTube channel. I've been here.
for 10 years. You're the first guy to. >> It was. >> He's like, "Wow." Anyway, we're going to. have a good day, guys. [laughter]. >> Did I ever tell you about uh my last. semester at Temple when I screenshotted. the wrong week? >> Yes. >> Dude, that is great. Dude, I was at. Temple and I was taking literally. >> This is like when I went to school on. 911. >> Is this senior year or? >> No, this is like my second or I would I. went to Temple my sophomore and junior. year, but I was taking three classes a. semester cuz I was like, "Bro, you can.
take three classes, don't give a [ __ ]. >> not realizing you got to like take all. of them to get out of college.". >> I took a screenshot of my class or my. semester after spring break, but we were. off MLK day. So, I had physics, uh, construction safety class, and some. other things on Monday. Physics lab. So, I was going to physics. I screenshot. this. I don't know. I thought I'm off. Mondays. I was chilling Sundays. I was. like, "Dude, we can do whatever the [ __ ]. we want out of school." I go in. >> safe, >> dude. Still past it. Still past it, by.
the way. >> We can do what we want, [laughter]. >> dude. So I [ __ ] went for a month and I'm in. physics and they're talking about well. during the lab we went over this and I. had I thought the lab was some thing. people are going to or into physics. I. had literally no [ __ ] clue. And then. I finally realized that I've been. missing my Mondays for a month. >> The all the Monday labs. >> Yes. [laughter]. And my construction safety class. I. rolled into my construction safety class.
after a month of not being there. was. literally like I [ __ ] didn't know I. had this class and the chick let me in. I passed that but physics I got a 46 on. the test. [laughter] Came through. literally Beetlejuice [ __ ] I came in. >> Beetleju [ __ ] Is that. >> I came in I was trying to find that. Green Bay Packers jersey you bought. I. was going to wear it again. >> I don't know where it is. >> Oh, you got a [ __ ] Reggie. What? >> Yeah. [laughter] 929,000. 5,000. I [ __ ] went to the I went to.
the um. >> the way you're talking. >> as a matter of fact. >> good dude. >> Yeah. So I went to that um. >> as a matter of fact. >> what is uh like sine waves and [ __ ]. >> Sine cosine. >> cosine. What is that? What's that? >> I think they're w amplitude. >> What's the type of math that is? >> I have no idea. >> Go into [ __ ] my trip class. Get a 46. Dude, I was like what's the bell curve? Cuz I thought we'd all pass because. everyone failed it. No one failed. [laughter] it. And then I shove up. The.
dude is in class like today is the last. day of the ad drop. I was like, "For the. ad drop, do you have to pay for it if. you drop the class this day?" He's like, "No, you don't. That's in two weeks. If. you don't go out in two weeks, then you. have to do it." I literally was like, "All right, guys. Got my book bag, left. college." [laughter]. >> Just said, >> "Wow, >> dude." I was like, "This is a [ __ ]. situation. Like, there's no way I'm. passing this [ __ ]. >> I can't. Look, I'm not. >> Engineering is the construction. management. I'm not making fun of you. I. I did the same thing with calculus. >> Three failed calculus. >> I took I took calculus.
>> two times and I got a 33. >> Yeah. The way I failed out of Elon was. hilarious, dude. I after I quit. football, I just stopped going to class. I just drank in a house. >> Were you not going to class at all? >> Like [ __ ]. >> So you were skipping class. >> one or two a week. Yeah, >> that's what I did. Yeah. >> And then went home for Christmas break. and. they were like, "You're expelled.". [laughter] I was like, Holy [ __ ] I was. like, "Oh [ __ ] I got to tell my. parents." While I was home for Christmas.
break, like I'm not going back, dude. I. I I didn't know I was getting kicked out. either. I had all my [ __ ] in North. Carolina. >> I was Yeah. I mean, it was. >> I was in a [ __ ]. >> It was dark, dude. I was in my parents'. basement crying. >> Sure. [laughter]. >> Yeah. I was like, Mine's way more jovial. than that. We like went I was working at. a trash incinerator that we had to cover. with clean [ __ ] fill. So, we picked. all the trash out, got rid of it, covered it with the these like all these. rocks, but we could only had like a. certain size uh stone. So, my dad was.
like, "Dude, just pick any of the big. rocks out." And this place is like a. football field of just rocks. So, I'm. just sitting there looking down, grabbing it. My uncle rolls up in a. trash truck. And he's like, "What the. [ __ ] are you doing?" I was like, "Dude, my mom wants me to go to college." Like, "Just [ __ ] quit." I was like, "Okay.". So, then I quit and started driving. trash trucks. >> Nice. >> I didn't have any here. >> Uh, I went to George Washington, then. failed out of that. then went to Delo. like. Yeah. And then filled out of that. >> Yeah. I was Westchester for six.
>> and then I finished Drexel. >> You [ __ ] A. How'd you get into Drexel. if you filled out Delaware County? >> Cuz the guy that ran the screenwriting. program had like tried to get me cuz I. like wrote a script my senior year when. I was in high school. >> Was it tires? >> Wasn't Tires at the time. >> You wrote that at Drexel though, right? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That was like my senior project. >> He [ __ ] failed out. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Well, I did graduate Drexel. >> Oh, you did? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh, I thought you were dumb as [ __ ]. >> Well, I failed out George Washington and. then Delaware County Community College. >> George Washington's hard to get into, isn't it?
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Drexel is not He's not dumb. >> Yeah. Hard to get into. >> No, but he failed out without drinking. Really? >> Oh, there's other things when I was. >> He failed out without missing class. >> Same thing. Like after I failed out, I. was living at my parents house. >> So, I did go to like every class at Del. County Community College. No, when I. went to community college, I locked in. I was like, "All right, after West. Point, after Elon.". >> Yeah. >> Two years later, I'm at community. college. >> next to the Farm Show complex in.
Harrisburg. I'm like, [laughter] "Oh my. man, >> I had a juke bottom.". >> Mine was No. No way. >> Del kind of cute college. I was in. heaven. You could smoke on campus and. [ __ ] So like me and all the kids just. go out in between classes, rip butts, go. to McDonald's. >> I love how like your gradient of like. how sick [ __ ] is is what you're allowed. to do. >> Yeah. I'm not meant to be in school. [laughter]. >> You can't do anything I want. >> I can't even imagine. >> We're allowed to smoke. >> Yeah. Can you imagine if you had to go. to school? >> If I had like if I if my job tomorrow. was to go to meetings from 7:00 a.m. to.
3:00 p.m. >> Think about that. >> You'd have to. >> the only thing chair hemorrhoids like. forget it. [laughter]. >> Jeez. >> The hemorrhoids. That would definitely. suck. >> Yeah. >> Are they permanent? They might sit long. enough. I don't know. I got a weird. thing going on. But it's like Yeah. sitting in a plastic chair for that many. hours just listening to stuff you. couldn't care less about. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you're like my. life is teaching, I mean, obviously. there's some good ones, but Lost is. behind that. >> Lost. >> If you're like, I'm just saying pop the. brakes.
>> I'm just saying like big obviously good. teachers, but there's some that it's. like, all right, bro. >> My mom's a teacher. >> She's a good teacher. >> Hello. While I was in school, one of the. teachers got busted for having sex with. the kids. Few of them, actually. One I. moved all boy school. >> Yeah. One, I it was like prison. One, I. moved her into her house, >> but I was [ __ ] so I wasn't picking. up on anything that was going on. >> Yes, Gurban. Yes. >> Well, it's just a just just. >> Yeah. >> to maintain. >> Yeah. >> I'm not getting rowdy.
>> We're almost done. >> You don't have to be in tomorrow, right? >> But that doesn't mean I'm going to get. ready. >> No, no, no. I was just asking. >> Oh, I was going to go in. >> I know tomorrow's early. Yeah, I'm going. to go in pretty late. Supposedly the one. teacher was banging the kid and she was. like trying to be cool with all the kids. in the class and she was buying him beer. and [ __ ] and then the she started. talking [ __ ] to the one kid in class and. he was like I'll be right back. Went to. the principal's office. Yeah, she's. having sex with one of the students. [laughter]. >> Got her booted. >> Legendary [ __ ] Yeah. >> Oh man, >> she's a [ __ ] Phil. I could listen to.
you talk about school. >> It is so funny. You honestly you are. Phil Gillis. >> You are the exact same dude. Like the. way he talks is I I go in there, I go, "What the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] I [ __ ]. got a 46. I thought there was a [ __ ]. Beler. [laughter]. >> I paid on a bel, >> you know, research papers.". >> Yeah, but there's like I think five was. my alltime max. I did write a paper in. Temple that was awesome. >> How many pages? >> And it was five and it was porn the. libido killer and I had a whole paper on. porn. Dude gave me an A+. It was cool as.
[ __ ]. >> That's manosphere. >> Yeah. >> Tangential. >> And then uh yeah, in high school we had. to write like a research paper. I chose. Alfons Capone the worst and um. >> I just paid kids to do it and the. teacher was just like all right man you. wrote this is one of my seriously. >> you were like dude I I am busted out. >> yeah my boy Shaw wrote it shout out. y'all. >> I didn't pay anybody but I took my. roommates's paper from the year before. and just handed to the same teacher and. she was like you think I don't know you. don't think I don't remember Kevin. >> I was like [ __ ] I should have.
taken his day off the. >> thing that the real [ __ ] about being. [ __ ] stupid is being too stupid to. cheat Because a lot of the smart kids. can [ __ ] cheat and that would be like. >> there's like I think a higher echelon. cheating. Yeah, that's all it is. >> Super top is all cheating. >> All my boys that were in like AP [ __ ]. were cheating their balls off and I was. like [ __ ] how? I I've told this. before, but I cheated a lot. And uh. >> how did you cheat though? You get people. to write your [ __ ] or. >> Yeah. No, like we had a Yeah. He would. give us the same test. So the class.
before this girl would just give me her. calculator and I would just I I'd get. like a hundred 100 on everything. >> That's sick. >> And then I was a recruiting visit for. football. So I missed the test day. >> And then he was like, "Here's the makeup. test." And it was like four. >> just four problems. That was it. >> Cuz he like he loved the football team. and he was trying to he was like, "Come. on, bro. I got you." I couldn't I. couldn't. >> I didn't know one. >> Red. [laughter]. >> I didn't know one. I wrote three for.
every single answer and just handed it. back to him and I was like, I I I don't. know one thing about what you've been I. don't even know this subject. [laughter]. >> I haven't listened once. >> Yeah, we had none of the chicks doing. any us any favors because it was all. dudes. So. >> Oh, that's tough. Just dudes is tough to. cheat. >> You're just [ __ ] around. There's like. there's no cheating is physically. impossible. >> Yeah, that'd be tough with. >> dude like writing that [ __ ] on your. calculator. have like you would have to. at least know the equations a little bit.
if you had like the cheat sheet in the. calculator slip. I would sit there be. reading like. >> no no he would give us multiple choice. answer. It was scantron test. >> Oh god. >> And then he gave me a real test like no. scantron just like do the work. >> Oh you didn't have to show the work on. the scantron? >> No it's a scantron. It's multiple. choice. >> Damn. Usually would have scantron and. worksheet. >> Oh. Oh yeah. Yeah we did actually have. those in other ones but no this guy. would just toss us scantron. This lady. would just write A B C. >> I would hit and like skits out and I'd.
be like, "It's been A four times. It. can't be A this time." Yeah. >> This has to be wrong. >> Little [ __ ] roulette. [laughter] He. goes, "It's been read too often, dude.". >> Oh, yeah. >> It's black. >> My [ __ ] SATs. I'm like Mick Avenue. My own 960. I can't read. I'm like you. >> I'm like you guys. I can't even [ __ ]. read, [laughter] you know. Oh, there he. is. There's our next president. >> Dude is bulletproof somehow. He walks. through all that [ __ ]. >> Yeah. All you have to do is not be. Trump. >> Yeah, true. >> You're going to get if Trucker comes as.
the next president though. I'm not. voting though. Trucker. >> Yeah. >> I see your [ __ ] Alps, bro. >> Trucker calls. Yeah. >> His Alp Shipman just got stolen. >> You like Trucker? [sighs]. >> We're on the same vibe, bro. >> You're on the same vibe. But are you on. that [ __ ] Are you on that [ __ ]. Christian weird [ __ ]. >> Christian weird [ __ ] The stuff that you. said you were on the beginning of the. podcast. >> Catholicism, bro. There's a big. difference. Definitely not Catholic. >> No, Trucker is into cabalism. >> Trucker wears both eyes, dude. He's a. [ __ ] Protestant. >> Good point. He said he's found Christ,
honestly. But. >> yeah, he found Protestant Christ. >> Oh, really? That is that. >> 100% that guy? >> What's Protestant? >> It's the exact same. Yeah. >> What's the difference? >> We We have the Pope, bro. We have the. Vatican church. >> Oh, okay. >> They have And also they're much more. strict about word for word in the Bible. >> Oh, so they're kind of like evangelicals. with that [ __ ]. >> I He seems a little more evangelical. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I kind of just like. the [ __ ] he puts up about like [ __ ]. Israel and [ __ ] [laughter]. >> I got to be honest, he's [ __ ] kind of. nailing it lately. But. >> yeah, it's it that it feels a little too.
good. I started watching that like. [ __ ] if you you got to watch the. Jones on Duncan Trussell, he get like. halfway through it, he goes back to his. old [ __ ] and saying like we're pretty. much three-dimensional beings that are. more powerful than the fourth dimension. beings, but they're using us and we. think they're more powerful than us and. they're going to use AI to take us out. so then they can. >> Who the [ __ ] are the fourth dimensional. beings? >> Yeah. Instead of ascending to the fourth. dimensional naturally, they're going to. create a false dimension through AI. Yeah. >> We'll all be plugged into the matrix. >> How does he know all that? >> It was an arponet. Um, it was like a.
futurist a futurist uh wrote an like a I. don't know what they call like a white. paper for arponet. >> Yeah. >> Before DARPA before. >> like read old like futurist papers and. stuff. I'll tell you what, Jolene is. just a cute little dates. >> Don't angle that bad. >> [ __ ] the [ __ ] fourth dimension, dude. I'm here. >> I just went to Roots today. That was. actually pretty good. >> You went to where? Roots. Where's that. at? In Westchester. >> It's a tasty little cute spot. It's a. cute spot. >> What? >> Are you like going out on many dates? Is.
this why you say. >> swimming in [ __ ]. >> I'm not swimming in p. No, drowning. >> I'm not trying to television. >> Definitely drowning. I pee in. >> I'm peing. I'm out there. And uh. >> how often do you go on dates? Just. curious. >> Serial dates. >> You don't actually have to say that. >> Oh, thank you. >> Okay. >> We're just We're just bullshitting. We. can totally edit this out. >> Yeah. >> Or not. blink twice. We don't have to. >> Yeah. But no, I mean, I'm dating and so. >> having fun as they call it. >> Well, I'm I'm dating intent. Like, I'm. trying to I'm. >> You want to find your wife? >> Yes. Your forever hole.
>> Okay. [laughter]. >> Your sheath. >> I do think I would want my wife to find. out. Sure. Yeah. >> Trying to find your forever hole. I'm. >> looking for my forever uh hole. [laughter] Oh, >> your forever hole is crazy. Hey man, he found his. >> Yeah, congratulations. >> Thanks. I got. >> I mean there's no hiding it now. >> You got your ring, bro. That's sick. >> Feels I was like, bro, Spades always. told me to put wear rings, bro. Wear. rings like. >> Hold on. Let me throw that in the fire.
real quick. >> Forged it. >> Very weird. You ever wear rings or. anything like that? What? How far do you. go? >> Oh, he's tried. >> If it wasn't for Shane, I'd be wearing a. lot of it. Like Jack Sparrow. >> If it wasn't for Edon, do you? >> Yeah. Tyler Dur, you you remember in. Fight Club when Tyler Dur was like, "Dude, Ed Norton would think this is so. gay." [laughter]. >> Although, I mean, the only thing is I I. I think. >> you could totally punch Gerby and you. just go, [laughter]. >> sixack have hit a little bit.
>> He does actually have. >> exit velocity on this. If you did die, I. don't know how far I would go in the. other. >> I think I finally got through to you. >> Yeah. >> Here's how I knew I got through to you. >> Yeah. >> The Savannah bananas. >> The Savannah bananas. >> That was a major test. I I sent him a. video of the Savannah Bananas and I was. like, "This is your shit.". >> What is that? >> The Savannah Bananas is like Hawkeye. Harlem Globe Trot. >> They're like Hawkeyes. >> I very much respect it. >> Yeah, they're all [ __ ] nasty at. baseball. Which it actually even pissed. me off even more cuz they do all these. cutesy dances and I was like, "These. [ __ ] dorks." And I watch them catch.
like a double play between their legs. and I was like, "All right, these guys. are [ __ ] nasty.". >> Yeah, they're very. >> the dances and but they're like doing. like cute guy [ __ ] but it's like Tik. Tok. It's like cool face paint, >> [ __ ] glove. like they're I don't. know. It's you got to see it Harlem. Gloss. >> In my opinion, it was right up Gerby's. alley as far as what he in his mind if. he could be anything he'd be a Savannah. Banana, >> right? >> I thought for sure I was correct on. this. I sent him a reel of the Savannah. Bananas dancing. I said, "This is your. shit.".
>> No. >> And he said, "No." And I was I was very. >> What is your [ __ ]. >> Like war hero. >> What? What? >> You want to You want to be a war hero? [laughter]. >> Why did everybody react like that? No, you just said we're talking about. >> need cuz I thought about it in response. to with the sub. So just to say like a war hero like a. famous war hero. >> Yeah. Yeah. You know like. >> you could be anything watching Masters. in the Air being like this is totally. >> you want to be like the lion of Tel Aviv. >> Captain [laughter] Captain America. >> You're like a fighter pilot.
>> Okay. Yeah. >> 2020 vision stuff. >> Yeah. My boys. pilot. >> Then he told me. >> Yeah. that I've I've thankfully I've. gotten in I've gotten through the. defenses. I've gotten through the iron. dump. >> He came in in like. >> and now I'm in the firecracker. >> I I was just wearing. >> Burberry pants. They're black. Shut up. [laughter]. >> What? >> I was wearing sweats. >> Tommy's fiance bought me a bunch of. clothes [laughter]. >> and I picked these right here. >> Offensiveness.
>> Well, I'm just saying I'm not out. shopping. >> I'm not [ __ ]. >> It's hard, dude. throw it out somewhere. trying to find a pair of pants. >> I've never I grab I grab the wrong size. so I get off the shower. >> This will shrink. My ass sweats. My. armpit sweat and I leave. That's every. trip to the mall. >> Yeah, it gets a little too bright in. there. >> He told me he was like, I saw that video. of the Savannah Baner and I thought to. myself, you're [ __ ]. >> queers and I was like, yes, >> we we've reached it. >> That's just the warrior.
>> That is the warrior own. >> Is that why you send me gay guys kissing. on Instagram? me. >> trying to see if that's my stuff. [laughter]. >> I'll tell you what, that backfired. because now my algorithm bro, dude, did I say you wanted the guys ass. cheeks? >> Yes. The guy with the thickest [ __ ]. cheeks. There's a new one I've been. watching where it's a big tall white man. that acts perfectly like a black woman. and he has a little black boyfriend and. they walk around. >> Don't stop. >> It's crazy. >> It's [ __ ] great. >> It's crazy. I I want to show it to you. >> Yeah. I'd like. >> show me this. >> It's so crazy. And they do like she like.
the dude literally does the hand signals. like blackjack. >> Liz at the end of that nuts. >> It's very [ __ ] insane. Got to find. the hell that I Why'd you leave your. cheaters in the truck, brother? >> I thought about getting them. >> your what? >> My glasses. >> I don't know. >> Yeah, I've been sending you a lot of. [ __ ] with that one gay podcast where. talks about like getting nut in his face. and [ __ ]. >> What? >> Jesus. >> I sent you all those reels for the. intros. >> You got to take the cans off, bro. >> Oh, the guy who says you have your pants. down. You want me to eat that cake?
>> That's killing me, dude. >> You got to take the headphones off, dude. >> I I had to [ __ ] listen. >> Who's the guy who's like when they're. talking about the Giza? >> Oh, the browsers. >> That dude's killing me. >> You've changed, Bill. I've changed. I. literally can be more normal to. >> I get paid to do gay [ __ ] mate. >> There you go. >> That's a dude. >> Oh, this is fake, dude. >> It's real. She He does like [ __ ] girl. hand signals and [ __ ]. >> That's great. Turn up the song.
>> I think it might get us. [laughter]. about making guys toes girls as a dude. >> Anyway, did you see got like 83 points. in one game? >> Figure out what sporting event he's at. based on the old. >> New Mexico or something like that. >> Oh, little New Mexico State. That's a. Wolfpack stadium right there. >> She does that. She I mean it's Thank. you. Thank you. >> No problem. [laughter]. >> Screen blocker. I can't see. >> So who Oh, it's louding down here. Trains goon cave.
>> Oh, so okay. >> That's a man. >> I understood. >> like Baron Trump. >> for real. [laughter]. It's crazy. That's what's that's what's. going to happen to everyone if everyone. keeps it down this road. >> What the [ __ ] Look maxing with huge. asses. It's not going to stop anyone. actually. Dude, >> what? >> Gerbin's [ __ ] look maxing. Gervin is. look maxing, but he's not uh. >> got that Reagan hairline. >> I mean, not really. >> Gervin Gurvin's like cash right now.
>> He hasn't gotten into There's no. substances. >> No peptides. >> No, >> no, this is natural, >> dude. Wait till he finds out about. peptides. >> Tell me about peptides. >> You're going to be like, I don't trust. him. I told you I was going to take. peptides today and he kept being like, "What peptides, >> dude?" I was like driving over. I was. like, >> I mean, it's literally very good. >> Well, how come he gets to do it? >> So, Billy met a dude. Bill. Billy. I met. this dude through Billy and he's like, "Dude, you got to take glow. Take Rea.". What the [ __ ] was the other ones? Gio or. >> Oh, I forget. You got a pin to win, they. say. >> Yeah.
>> I'm sorry. >> I can't inject anything. So, I'm just. going to have to be a lifetime natural. >> Can you inject [ __ ] good, >> dude? I'm trying. >> This is the best you've looked. >> Thanks. >> What are they? They're just steroids. >> Your face looks. >> They're not steroids. They're What? >> You look like a tier one operator. >> I'll be fat in 3 weeks. I'll hurt. myself. >> Is this not the best he's looked in a. while? >> I'll hurt myself. >> I don't really pay attention all the. time, too. I don't see him enough. >> You should see Spade's son is jacked. >> He's ginormous. >> He's literally like, >> "How tall is this boy already?". >> Tall. We're not going to talk about. tall. What's a number? >> Well, frame his about weight.
>> Yes. His frame is actually like creating. a fullback. >> Yeah, >> for real. It might be It might be Mike. Allstar. He was giving birth. >> Mike Allstad. >> Mike Allstar's probably my favorite. football player. >> Could he be the last fullback? I mean, the game is going to change so much. >> I don't know if he'll be I don't know if. he'll reach the height. >> He could bring back the fullback. Who? >> [ __ ] Cincinnati. >> Charlie boy. >> Republicans. [laughter]. >> Republicans. >> His son of the Republicans could be the. final fullback. >> Damn. He's a unit. >> Yeah, he's [ __ ] stout, bro. He's got.
a dome, dude. >> He's got a Jones belt. >> Oh, wow. Oh my god. Yeah, >> it's a hardy boy. >> That's a guy who punches metal for fun. [laughter]. >> Point his arms down. >> [ __ ] eat it. >> I enjoy the frame. Cute. >> Cute. >> Makes sense. >> That's cute. Yes. [laughter] A bar is. >> him and a bar have nothing in common. >> We. What did. >> This episode is brought to you by.
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to get 20% off for a limited time. Also. guys, I have some shows coming up. Please, for the love of God, for the. love of God, go to mattmcuser.com. Uh, I believe I'll be in Iowa pretty. soon and uh St. Paul, Min Minnesota. So, go to there. Also, I it's probably sold. out, but there is that link show. Go to. shanegillis.com. Is it Shane Gillis or Shanem? Let me. double check here.
Let me see. Guys, I'm I'm sorry to hold. you up here. I just want to make sure I. got the information correct. Otherwise, it'd be pretty rude. I didn't. I didn't even do this episode. I can't. just plug my shows. That would be very. rude of me to do that. Lincoln Financial. Field. It is shane mgillis.com, by the. way. Shanemgillis.com. Let's see if Lincoln Financial Field is. sold out. Hold on, guys. Let's see. Guys, we got to sell this out. It's.
getting close. If you think, "Oh, it's. not for a while. I should be fine.". You're a [ __ ] fool. I don't see a lot. of blue in this thing. The gray means. sold out, boys. This is about to go. It's about to [ __ ] go, guys. Get your. [ __ ] tickets to. chainmillis.com. Uh oh. Back to the episode. Pardon the. interruption. Pardon the interruption. This is Sean Gardini. I just wanted to. let you guys know that I'll be in Salt. Lake City, Utah at Wise Guys Comedy Club.
March 27th and 28th with Nate Marshall. So, please come see that show if you'd. like. And I'll be at the Comet in. Cincinnati, not Comet Pingpong, just The Comet in. Cincinnati on May 22nd and 23rd. So, please come to those. That was a. little joke there, but I'd like I'd. really like to see you guys at the show. So, please come if you can. Tickets are. atgardini.com. And we also have Optimum Noctis at the.
Creek in the Cave in Austin, Texas. me, Nate Marshall, and La Mer Lee every. first and third Tuesday of the month. So, thank you very much for your time. Pardon the interruption. Enjoy the rest. of the show. >> And we're back, dude. Gin is. >> Did you see Smashing Machine? >> No, bro. [ __ ]. >> I love the docu No. No, but I love the. documentary. >> The Mark Ker thing. >> Yeah, the original documentary where. he's like, >> can I tell you something that the. documentary [ __ ] something up for me.
with Mark Kerr? cuz when you watch him, he's such a badass. And just like the. way he like. >> in the documentary too, he's like ragd. doll. This is like when UFC was dudes. with mullets and karate. >> and then he's in there with like actual. spandex and he's just like a good. wrestler. >> It's the first time he interviews and he. goes, >> I was just going to kick the sh. >> dude. The Rock The Rock talks like that. It's perfect. >> He does the voice so good. That might. give me that right there might give me. to see the. >> It made the entire movie. >> So happy with that.
>> He's on an airplane at one point going. to Tokyo and he's like [ __ ] huge in. like a aisle seat and the lady sitting. next to him where dude has the window. and the thing's down. He's like, "Excuse. me, can you uh can you put that down? I. love the sunsets.". >> Now he calls about his tummy. >> Yeah. The best is when he's at the fair. He's trying to go on the gravitron and. he's like, "You know, I can't go on that. with my tummy.". >> Yeah, it's perfect. [laughter]. >> It's wonderful. I only watched the old documentary that. was on I think it was like on HBO but it. was just him and then it would show him. taking pills and it was like in real.
time. >> show him injecting pain. I didn't even. know that was a thing. >> in the dock when you see him doing it. you're like. >> also we made that documentary made Japan. look nuts cuz it was like before we knew. a lot about it and they were just doing. these like Tokyo Dome [ __ ]. tournaments. Yeah. >> And it was like dude Pride and all that. [ __ ] It's on the documentary. Yeah. I. think it's like early 2000s. >> uh yeah cuz I was it was like O2. >> right after the height of Super Mario. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> You've been on a real Super Mario Super.
Mario Land. I'm on three. Three is hard. as [ __ ] bro. I'm not going to lie. That's actually hard. Paddle slamming. territory. Like I [ __ ] die and I just. grab the controllers. >> What's your top [ __ ] right now? >> Tanuki suit. Yes, dude. [laughter] The. Tanuki suits top. >> You know the name of it? >> No, I'll only race in a Tanuki suit. I. know. Tanuki Mario. Yeah, easily the. greatest three raccoon suit. >> Yeah, it's hilarious. >> Tanuki. >> Tanuki. >> Yeah. >> Is that how you say raccoon in Japanese?
>> No clue. >> It's a kind of I think it's like a mixed. breed of something. >> There's a raccoon dog. >> A a mixer. >> I saw a raccoon dog recently and I was. pretty [ __ ] fired up about it. actually. >> Let me look up what a tanuki is. >> It has to be a raccoon. But there's. tanuki though. >> Oh, his name is Tsunuki Mario. I thought. it was Did they say that in the game? >> I mean, they don't say [ __ ]. >> My whole life I thought that [ __ ]. raccoon dog is. >> What the [ __ ]. >> What is that? Is that a real dog? >> No, it's a. >> domesticated raccoon.
>> No, no, it's not domesticated. It's just. an animal. >> It's like a sloth face. >> It's a Asian. I think that's probably. what it's tanuki is based off of. >> Japanese raccoon dog. >> What is it actually? >> A real mammal native to Japan known for. its fox-like appearance, masklike. markings, and thick brown non-ring tail. >> Give me credit. Japanese folk trying to. call you dumb. >> Yeah. >> No, I was. >> They're supernatural shape shifters. >> Me and autistic kids now cuz we watch. Super Mario 3 stuff and we eat. >> Watching YouTube videos get through it. >> Supposedly you don't digest right if you.
eat watch YouTube or TV while you eat. >> What? >> Cuz your mind is like watching the TV so. you don't digest as good as you should. >> So you have to go into like a. deprivation tank and chew. >> It's impossible. Like I literally eat. like this sometimes. >> I have to have a YouTube video to eat. I. just put one on at a truck stop eating. Burger King. Yes. >> Like a toddler. I put my phone on on its. little side. >> I always just got BK, not McDonald's. They didn't have it. >> You lied to me. I was going to get. McDonald's. >> I was so jealous. Can I tell you. something? >> You're getting rest at McDonald's and I. was genuinely. >> Who wants BK? Like what's what's the.
hierarchy? >> Well, McDonald's is the best. McDonald's. >> But let me tell you right now, >> call Wendy's fell off. So fell off. really hard. >> Wendy's fell off. Let me tell you right. now, that sprite that I got, >> that sprite, that sprite. >> was [ __ ] terrific. >> That sort of they've been hitting me. with reels about the big arch. And I'm. like, >> I want to try. >> I'm looking at it. I'm like, yo, >> I would honestly. >> I might do this. >> If I do a sesame, if I if I [laughter]. have a stomach full of BK, >> I would do a class field trip to get a. big arch after this. >> I We was talking to Ser about eating.
before bed. I was like, "Dude, I can't. do it." That's how he does it. >> I eat cereal. I eat I I used to eat. cereal. >> CTC was whether it's your choice grunt. >> Cereal is horrible for you're not. supposed to drink milk like right before. you go to bed. >> 70 lbs heavier than I was in high. school. >> That's all milk weight. [laughter]. >> You are. >> Milk is like a drug. >> It is. >> Milk rocks. >> It's the best. >> I love it. I can drink a gallon of milk. in like a day and a half. >> You know what's funny is I got thy. >> when I was when I was a kid, I would. drink milk like water. Yeah.
>> Like I would. >> I didn't do that, dude. I always hated. eating at my friends houses because then. their parents had to see how much milk I. drank. [laughter]. >> One bowl was. >> one bowl. like a snack. I be like, "Okay, hey, uh, >> hey Mike, >> get cut off." You go, "What did you say. to me?". >> Dude, my cousins share a driveway with. us on the compound. They're they had 10. kids. >> Jesus, >> dude. I think there was a dedicated farm. for their milk intake cuz it was like. milk with spaghetti. >> They get milk with spaghetti. I've done.
every single time I've had rules. >> They would get liquid time, [laughter]. >> dude. I remember being 17 or 18 and. seeing the bill and it was $400. This is. like 1999. Like, and they had four. gallons of milk at a time. >> Always. >> Yeah. >> Ajax would come in just slam. household. Oh, you guys are like the. Gronkowskis. >> Ajax just released an album. >> Oh, yeah. Ajax mccuser on Spotify. >> An EP. >> Voice of an angel, bro. Well, just so. you know, that's about to hit 450.
>> I wanted to make like the billboard, >> dude. Out of the depths with a a. diabetes port. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> [ __ ] crushing. >> from the third floor. >> You're charting. >> Kairen's Dur, >> dude. Listen to it. Ajax mccuser. Listen. to it's like [ __ ] sick [ __ ]. >> He has the voice of an angel, but he's. like 6'8. He's huge. >> That's what I want. >> It's like Andre the Giant if you could. sing. >> That's what I want. That's the funnier. That's like the Mark Kerr voice. >> It's powerful as [ __ ] bro. >> Jack is a general giant. He wouldn't. hurt a fly, bro. >> No, but yeah, they used to crush cuz of.
[ __ ] Matt's famous ass. >> No, no, no. Go Spotify. He has a. >> on Spotify. I just searched Ajax. McCusker. >> It has to come up. >> It comes up. >> Just look by artist. >> Yeah, there it is. >> Karen's Dors perhaps. >> John McCusker? >> No. >> [ __ ] is John McCusker. >> I mean, >> comes up for me. >> It's crazy that now you can just put up. music. >> like, you know, if you're awesome, that's great, but if you suck, you're. just like, "Oh, no.". >> Get it? Hit it. >> Yes. >> Hit top played. Give soda a taste.
>> I mean, the quality is insane. >> Has he played this? >> No, he did it with like an AI thing. He's singing. >> It's ominous. Yeah. We'll give you some. Ajax lore. I I'd smoke and drive to this. [ __ ]. >> Yeah. Josh used to like stand at the perimeter. of our school where like at the actual. feet would end where the school property. was and smoke reds in front of our. disciplinarian just rip Marbo reds and.
look into the hill and just be like what. are you going to do about it? >> You're selling this album. >> I'm not on school property. though too. He can. >> He just need a. >> I know. But I mean, >> dude, the Macy's had that music, man. >> He needs a [ __ ]. >> They need music. >> It's a long intro, honestly. >> Come on, Ajax. Sing. [laughter].
>> You got to hear his [ __ ] voice, dude. >> I hope it's coming. >> Fast forward. >> It's almost like it's a bit every time. you think he's gonna sing, [laughter]. he's like, never does. It's. >> got to be real, though. Yeah, >> good instrumental intro. I don't do it. anymore. [laughter]. >> That was the best. That was the best. fake out I've ever heard. I I really was. like, there's no. >> Fast forward. [laughter]. >> This like a seven minute intro. >> They don't do that anymore. This is.
Bside [ __ ]. >> Yeah, >> it's like journey of the social. >> He's not singing. [laughter]. >> I feel like he might have uploaded the. instrumental by accident. >> It might be the wrong song. I feel like. I'm being trolled, dude. Kiren's doors. >> Look at Is this not him? >> No, that's him. Oh [ __ ]. >> Yeah, that build. >> Dude, that break in was so funny. He. [laughter] was like, >> "Make your hole. Make it. >> That's Ajax.". >> That's great. >> He had voice in high school. Not take it.
away. Crazy. >> That's Ajax. >> Damn. >> Yeah, he can whale. AJ used to also be. able to memorize books. >> Yeah, >> he like knew what was on pages. >> New walk out song, bro. >> Little be whole. [laughter]. >> Yes. >> Crush that [ __ ]. >> dude. >> I'll bless Ajax before shows. >> That'd be [ __ ] sick, >> dude. That'd be awesome. >> I need Ajax singing the national anthem. >> He would do that heartbeat. Link. Is. that the lyrics? >> Dude, he would crush the He sings for. every wedding.
>> Oh, is that coming up? That's like in. May, right? >> July. >> July. >> Is that his cross to bear that he has to. sing at every musker wedding? Lost the. bear, bro. >> The whole family loves music. The entire. family. >> A Maria all. Oh my god. See him sing a. Maria. >> together at weddings. Yes. It's [ __ ]. How tall is he? >> He's huge. >> Jack's like a legit 65. He. >> and probably three. >> Yeah, probably. >> Yeah, fluctuates. >> 320. The goblet goblet of milk singing. like [ __ ]. >> He has the.
>> He did a talent show in high school. where he did a Metallica song. Can't. remember which one it was, but. >> it was nothing else. >> Got standing up. >> Really stand. >> It's the fantasy of every teenager is to. rip it at a talent show and some. >> and some 33y olds who are just driving. along. >> I'm thinking back. >> thinking back where you go come out. AC/DC and I whail on guitar. >> So sick. There was a. >> senior girls want to suck my dick. >> I wish I could have gotten head. >> That was the [ __ ] me up about that. manosisphere thing was that guy's like.
videotaping himself getting head. Like. that's a thing dude. I don't watch the. documentary monster era. >> What people film themselves. >> through in England with this guy um HS. Techie and he's like yeah dude I video. if you go if you join my Telegram you. can watch me get head and I'm like dude. this is a [ __ ] thing these guys are. doing these streams are getting wild not. change subject sorry. >> our stream is going to have to we're. going to have to pick it up. Jesus yeah. maybe we should quadruple kiss. >> Got to get Herod and Marbella. >> everybody tongue dog pile. You got to go. to aa.
>> and he's just singing to himself with a. beautiful voice rolling kegs like. they're nothing. >> It's a real manong. Look at him. >> unloading a whole [ __ ] thing of. cattle and barrels, bro. >> Yo, he was a unit. >> Yeah, he's just picking up cakes. >> Something about a staff t-shirt on a guy. with long hair. >> I know. Just does it just does it for. me, dude. You know that guy, he's up to. something. Yeah, I like it. >> You know, >> you give me a ponytail and a sta a staff. t-shirt. I've tried many times to grow. my hair. Never works.
>> You'd look great with. >> My head just comes increasingly bigger. [laughter]. >> You got to take the weight out of it. Get it cut. >> I do that and then I look like YouTube. might be the [ __ ] noggin boy. >> What size hat do you wear? >> I don't. >> Yeah, you don't. >> No, I never wear fitted hats. >> Well, I can't fit into regular hats. >> I think Soda has a big. >> I have to wear I wear an eight. >> He's sponsored by the big hat. >> Oh, they had a big hat. I did a. commercial for the guy and then he. played it all over and he's like, "I'll. send you big ads." And then he made me a. Miami Dolphins hat when McDaniel was the.
coach of the Dolphins and I went to a. game and my other friend that I grew up. with, Chad, when we're on the field, he. goes, "So's wearing unlicensed NFL. gear." [laughter]. >> I hope all the NFL coaches get that. cool, dude. >> Yeah. Oh, yeah. >> Press conference play. He should all be. that chill. >> Yeah. >> Meckver could You guys could go do for. dumb. Bert's head's size eight. Like I. think he's the only person I know. There's. >> who? >> Bert Crusher. He's got a size eight. >> Roid head though. >> How's that?
>> True. He's on set. He isn't on. testosterone. >> probably. >> Dude, it's so funny when Barry Bonds's. head shrunk back down and then he showed. back up in public. I'm a huge Giants. fan. And he and you like he's not on. steroids and his just head would go to. his top of his head to his shoulder and. then he bumped. >> If it was in the strike zone, it was. gone. >> Gone. To be out of it, you'd be. [laughter]. >> dude. When But when Magguire and Sosa. were going for it, dude, it was [ __ ]. the best. >> Well, that's why Bonds got on steroids. cuz they said there was a dinner.
>> There's a dinner at Ken Griffy Jr.'s. house and they're all talking about it. and he was like, [snorts]. >> "Want to see me stare? Want to see me do. roids?" And then he just was like all. this crushing. >> He's he was the best player of all time. >> It's crazy. He's. >> not even close. He's the best player of. all time. >> Yeah. He could have died in 1998 and. been easily a first bout of famer. his I forget the exact stat, but his the. walks the on bases he took the highest. >> more than teams [laughter] combined. >> Yeah, >> he had more walks than like the devil.
race that year. >> The funny thing was watching him. >> he would just go up to the plate and. they'd be like take take first. >> He'd put on his uh elbow guard or. whatever and then he'd know they're. walking him and he would like he'd get. really huffy where he'd go like. take off his elbow guard and be like you. won't pitch to me. [laughter]. But he. >> this dude if I had to run. >> Oh, they would always. >> I'm trapped, bro. >> Well, he was a stolen base guy. originally when he was like with the. pirates. >> The pirates he was. Yeah. >> Rookie card. Him and Magguire were both.
>> He was nasty. Yeah. Magguire was. skinnier than they started juicing. >> How hard were you guys cheering for. Meguire over Sos? >> I loved it. [laughter]. >> Am I right, brothers? >> I was too young. >> He turned into like the [ __ ] call. Frankenberry. >> Come on. Mark of liar so. >> an MJ. >> he really did. >> the Frankenberry. >> it's so real do you remember that video. game. >> what's happening to my skins. >> you go Sammy Sosa's baseball is so real. >> Sammy Sosa [ __ ] rules I think that's. what you get a little older you go.
actually Sosa was the man. >> yeah when you're obviously the man when. you're a young when you're a young white. man you go I'd like to see Mark McGuire. win he looks like my dad a red-haired. man that has freckles on. Yeah. Looks like he's got his forearms. tanned from mowing the lawn. >> What? So. >> Jesus [ __ ] [laughter]. >> Yeah. You shatter one at the recliner. >> Sosa Sosa sprinting with the American. flag in the in the outfield at Wrigler. I think it was right after 911. >> Oh yeah. >> Come on now.
>> Yeah. >> That's what it's all about. >> Sosa was the man. But Bonds was like the. guy that everyone hated. So it was fun. to like him and be and be like shitty. about it because. >> And you were a Giants fan, too. >> Yeah. I was like, he never got caught. He never got caught when Balco was. happening. >> The exact same. >> And then uh and then he stops playing. and he he comes back to Earth and he. >> Yeah, he's. >> Yeah, he's he's definitely on steroids. >> What was your baseball team? >> Giants. I loved the Giants. >> Damn, that must have been so nice after. >> Dude, there was times in the. >> win world series though.
>> Never won. >> Uh until 2010, >> but we lost 89. Lost in O2. It sucked. >> Was it Lindum? >> Linskum was the main. >> Lindicum was the main. long hair. Yeah. [ __ ] whipped it. His dad had a clause. in his contract that he a pitching coach. couldn't change his release. >> Sick. >> He was like, "You're not [ __ ] with my. boy's release." What's that mean? >> Like the way he threw the ball, they. couldn't come in and go, "You got to. just take your arm." He be like, "Don't. touch the boy." [laughter]. >> He was awesome. >> I remember watching a Giants double.
header. I don't know if it was with the. Phillies, but it was I watched this and. this went on for like two days and it. went into like way extra innings, like. 17 innings. It was [ __ ] nuts, dude. Wait, you watched like on TV or. >> on TV? Like back as a kid. >> You sat down and watched a double. >> sat down and started it was like a. [ __ ] and it went in extra innings. I. was like, "This is [ __ ] nuts.". >> Back in the day, no pitch clock. >> Yeah. >> No internet, nothing. Just be like this. game. I'm like sitting there like, "Dude, this game's not over yet.". >> We had a wrote an encyclopedia. >> We had a bar. >> No, no. I was a little kid. This. >> double header Giants, [laughter].
>> dude. You're watching You're watching a. [ __ ] Matt Williams bad 30. >> It's like the mid90s Giants. >> Yeah. Hell yeah. Damn. >> The mid90s Phillies were goats. So. baseball in Philly was like the most. popular [ __ ] thing ever. Like. >> you guys had the baddest team. You guys. had the coolest team. You had the. coolest colors. You had the Braves were. the villain. >> You had a new uniform. >> Braves were the villains, but you guys. had [ __ ] cruc.
>> always beat our ass. So it was always. like. >> Oakland rules. >> Oakland was great. Ricky Henderson. Ricky Henderson is the funniest baseball. player of all time. >> I've never heard him talk. I heard Barry. B. >> He talks in third person. >> The funniest Ricky Henderson story of. all time is one of his teammates was. talking about John 316 and then Ricky. Henderson walked over. He goes, "Ricky. don't care if John hit 316. Ricky going. to hit 350." [laughter]. But he was third person, >> man. He's powerful. >> You guys start going third person.
>> Me? >> Shane Shay doesn't like that. >> Shane doesn't care about that. me never. [laughter]. Oh man, that was We've been uh we put. together a good pod today. >> Gerby's Gerby's was firing. >> Yeah, >> Gerbin is That's true. >> Gervin's the funniest dude ever. >> Gerbin thinks that he is Tyler Deran to. Shane and Shane. >> That's crazy. >> Yo, he's crazy. That's crazy. >> That is like. >> That's a crazy day. He's nuts, dude. >> He thinks he's Brad Pitt. Yeah,
>> he goes as a six-pack. >> Or just in general. >> He does have a great body. >> Yeah. >> Thank. >> Dude, maybe this is what happens when. you get a six-pack. If you get a. six-pack, you like my [ __ ] Ed Norton. >> Yeah, >> he that's like God giving giraffes long. necks so that they can eat. >> The [ __ ] he does [laughter]. on set during tires is you'd lose your. mind. If I He gets there before me every. day, so I get into hair and makeup after. him. And he sings while he's in hair and.
makeup, he like sings songs with the. girls. >> Excuse me. >> He must be in heaven, dude. >> It's his favorite thing in the world. What? What kind of songs? >> Well, I like it. [ __ ] show tunes. What do you think? He doesn't sing. [laughter]. >> I don't know if he's doing. >> Yankee Doodle Dandy. This the music he. likes. Yeah. >> You come in, he's like the man in the. box. He the way the the music he likes. >> Yeah. >> The glasses he we like everything he.
does is so [ __ ] funny. >> Movie star. >> Yeah, dude. I love it. >> He's so funny. >> He is You're Dr. Frankenstein. >> No, he [laughter]. >> he's so funny, >> dude. The fact that he thinks, >> but I'm getting to him. We were talking. about earlier. I sent him the Savannah. bananas and it got through to him. I was. like, "You like this shit?" And he was. like, "Shit's gay." And I was like, >> "Yes, >> yes." Yes. >> You're starting to see it. >> Yes. [snorts]. >> I think it's gay.
>> Yeah. [laughter] [ __ ] Helen Keller. I'm like, "Yeah, >> that was him going, >> that is water.". >> Dude, they they do his hair. They. shampoo his hair while they're. shampooing his hair. He's like, "Oh, yeah. [laughter]. >> Dude, stop.". >> The other good one of the other one of. the other hair makeup girls filmed it. and sent it to me and was like, "This is. what he's doing in here." Now they're. like this out. >> No, no, no, no, no. They love it. >> He sounds like a [ __ ] porno director. from like 2003. This girl this girl's.
doing his [laughter] shampoo and he's. going, "Holy shit.". Oh, but I swear the girls the those. girls love him. I get in there and. they're like, "Steve's so nice. You're. mean." And I'm like, "No, I'm just It's. [ __ ] 8 a.m. >> Have to put [ __ ] makeup on." He comes. in there with a a tray of pink drinks. from Starbucks and knows what each one. goes to and he goes, "Have you guys. heard. >> I saw I found Seline Live in Vegas.". >> So he goes in, he tells them about his.
dates. >> Oh, yeah. >> He talks about his dating life. >> He's getting his haircut. >> He does. He does. I mean, >> he's a salon, bro. >> That's absolutely correct. >> And I am He's right about this when it. comes to the Tyler Don thing. I am. jealous. of. >> the freedom. the complete freedom. >> Yes. >> And. >> but you wouldn't be that way anyway. >> He's happy. >> Yeah. >> He's just saying that he just thinks. that your freedom and his freedom is the. same. You would be different, dude. >> That's actually a very good point.
>> You know what I mean? >> Your freedom isn't singing songs with. the girls. >> Yeah, but I wish Yeah, I guess I don't. really like that. >> You just You just kidding. You could. just see. [laughter]. >> He's like, "You know what? I thought. about it. I'm Tyler Deran." And I was. just in there like [ __ ]. >> What was his. >> I gave up picking on Gerbin for Lent. So. [laughter]. >> did you really? >> Yeah. My Yo, my nephew gave up doing 67. for Lent. >> Are you serious? >> He's struggling very hard. >> I'll call I'll call him and be like, "Is. Anthony on?" I'll be like, "Dude, I we.
were at work today for like six or seven. hours. He's in the car like, [laughter]. >> dude, I coach [ __ ] flag and all those. kids, dude. someone doesn't hit that. extra point, it's like. >> I swear to God, Alex Jones has Alex. Jones has a nephew because he's been. randomly hit in like six or seven years. and [ __ ] like this, dude. And I'm like, >> my my just. >> do you do you drop it and then side eye? >> It's It's so nice to just be like, "Is. Anthony can Anthony hear me right now?".
[laughter]. >> And he'll be like, >> "Yes, Uncle. >> Like, dude, it was crazy. I was at work. for like six or seven hours." He's just. like, "Okay, come on, man." [laughter]. That's like someone not trying to smoke. >> He like thinks he's going to hell if he. does it. The power of Catholicism. [laughter and clears throat]. >> He's just dying, dude. >> Oh, he gave it up for. >> He gave it. He decided. They're like, "You gave up.". >> He know. He did. He knows. >> Oh, this is great. >> Like, this is his favorite thing. He. gave it up. >> Does Lent end on Easter or Good Friday? >> Yeah, Easter. >> Uh, it ends on Easter.
>> Yeah. >> So, he's got to wait till he rises. >> He's going to be waiting. >> He's going to hit the six seven. Easter Monday is. >> I'm calling. I'm gonna go. Anthony, what. time's mass? Is it 6 or seven? [laughter]. >> Hurts his shoulders. >> Oh, dude. It's crazy. >> My My nephew just had basketball. The. one kid was like [ __ ] crazy AD and he. would just run up and down the court. once he got to the three-point line, just slide all the way down. This kid. [ __ ] rules, dude. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I saw a nice video. This kid with.
Down syndrome. It was Special Olympics. basketball. Did I send this to you? So. nice. He's he's he's fast break land. This kid's nasty. He like literally like. finger rolls in on a fast break, but the. kid chasing him on the other team starts. [ __ ] hitting. >> hitting him on the And then the game. gets heated, dude. But this kid's like. draining threes, looking at the sideline. like, "Oh my god, dude." Yeah, >> they got that the WWF [ __ ] taunt. staff, >> bro. >> You ever play that game for.
Sega? >> Yeah. where you would like it was like. medieval [ __ ] where you would like play. football. >> I kind of remember that. >> It was very good. I was just watching. videos on that the other day. >> What are you talking about? >> It's like violent football. >> It's like medieval football on Sega. It. was called like pig skin or something. >> They did. They loved that on Sega. >> and that [ __ ] ruled. It was very good. >> I know what you're talking about. >> Golden Axe was my favorite [ __ ]. ruled. >> I got the little hole of these like. >> golds in the arcade. >> What do you call that? >> Yes. Video game. >> You got How do they do that?
>> Oh yes. The allin ones. >> cold necks rule. >> What do you call them? >> He has a real thing. It's called Steam. Deck. >> Yeah, I got. >> Oh, Steam. Okay. >> I keep that. I got that thing on me. >> I wish. Dude, >> my emulator [ __ ] crashed, though. >> Wait, so you have Game Boy? >> It's like a Steam Deck's like a giant. >> giant Switch. >> Yeah, it's like a bigger It's like a. Switch on steroids. Spade just got a. Switch and now he's stuck in the under. rod in Zelda. >> I gave it up real quick, dude. >> [ __ ] guy is killing it. >> I'm not built for um open world games. >> It's impossible. I'm a 2D game. playing.
Zelda. I might have got lost. >> I might have to have to start the game. over. >> Oh, damn. I think they. >> I've done that twice with both Last of. Us. I've gone halfway, got a little. bored, stopped, tried to come back and. be like, I got to re I got to re. >> I told I was like, I think I have to. start the game over. No, you don't. I. was like, dude, I'm pretty sure I. entered the depths and I'm not supposed. to be here yet. Don't have enough. hearts. [laughter]. >> Yeah, I just been [ __ ] spazzing on. Super Mario 3. It's kind of my happy. place. >> What about Are you going to give like. Luigi's Mansion? >> No. No. I don't [ __ ] I like their real.
ones. Although I do like a lot of people. hate on Super Mario 2. I do like it. I. don't care if that it was a rush game. that they just slap Super Mario on. It's. still fun. >> Shucks. I think they took it down. >> Did they Was it. >> I think I think the kid attacking him, they probably [snorts] were like to. Special Olympics. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But the kids [ __ ] He's shooting from. NBA range. >> It's like those videos where they're. bouncing the ball off each other's. heads. That's how violent they're. getting. >> My entire internet is just NBA clips, dude. I [ __ ] up. >> Really? >> No. Jordan, the Jordan um LeBron.
argument and then now this new. >> Spage is going to go to a. >> new bump the kid that bumped Kobe for. the alltime points. Um shots like. >> my whole shit's [ __ ]. >> I wonder how many Kobe had that night. That was sick. >> 82. >> No, no, I mean free throws. >> Oh yeah. I don't know. >> But yeah, this was absurd. 43 free. throws. >> It was It was impressive, but it was. also felt kind of like spamming. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Someone's like, I just [ __ ] it.
>> Then you go, don't do that. You're. >> not really trying to help them get it. >> It's like when I used to play Tony Hawk. and I'd turn off the. >> You turn that off. >> just for shits and giggles sometimes, but people would walk in my room and I'd. have a 5 mill. >> the manual. >> The manual. I'd have 5 mill going on. >> So there's a way like. >> you have to balance the manual. It would. got really easy once you got the analog. stick, but you had to do it with the. [ __ ] thing. >> and then you could turn that on, just. get a trillion points and it would be. zero forever. So people would come into. my dorm or whatever and I'd just be. chilling there. No, I'd just be chilling.
in my room, you know, in a bean bag. playing Tony Hawk, but I'd be at like a. 3 million run. >> That's so embarrassing. >> Yeah. >> If I walked in I think I have I ever. caught you doing something like that. >> What? >> Like somebody hitting like Madden. They're up 140,000. >> Wow. I I got all I got through that. before I was 20. >> I just I swear to God you played him in. Madden. He went and took a piss and I. switched mine to rookie. Put his on All. Pro or All Madden and I was [ __ ] him. up for a little bit. >> That's great. >> Yeah, that's he found out that. >> HB screen. HB slip screen.
>> HB slip screen. >> That's like Al Qaeda to take out Russia. [laughter]. >> You go. I don't I I wouldn't do that, but I like that you did that. >> Well, I think when someone goes when. they're playing a game and they go to. piss, you got to [ __ ] with them, you. know. Yeah. Everyone knows. >> Moon Shadow or Night. >> You're You know that? >> What? >> Oh, yeah. We talked about last episode. >> He was playing Red Dead. He went to the. banger. >> The worst I got my friends. I put a. stick of dynamite and I lit it. underneath. >> and that blew up everybody. >> It was great. He came out and the fuse.
was lit. He's like, "No, >> no, you had the gun. You had the gun on. him and then you tossed the dynamite." I. But I did do that. Uh I beat my friend. in NHL 2001 34-2. >> Well, that's great if you're playing. against somebody. Yeah. >> Yeah. But I was like, "Let me play it. through." Cuz there was a glitch on the. glove side or stick side if you could. manual. >> One of my best friends in high school. >> and he deserved it. >> In NHL 93, there was a glitch where you. could just constantly [ __ ] score and. he never didn't do it. >> The wraparound goal. >> I would just sit there like, "Dude,
>> is it the wraparound goal?". >> I'm in his bedroom like, "Dude, I I'm. like, are you serious?" And it's just. like never stopped. >> It's like when Roger plays people and. pull just a. >> N. See it again. And I never I was like, "Dude, what's happening? I mean, this. keeps happening. >> That was the craziest thing he's ever. done. >> What are you talking about? >> That's your video games. >> First time I ever Yeah, true. >> All right. [laughter] Same exact thing. >> First time I did Rogan. First time I did. Rogan, we got done and he was like, >> "Let's play pool." I was like, "Okay." I. was I never played. He's like, "It's. just play.".
>> Over here. >> Then I was like, "So, where do what. should I do?". >> Atted. he just destroyed me in pool for like. two hours and then left. >> Well, all right. Episode comes out in. two days. was like, "This is. >> there's a ton of dudes that can't lay it. down and just have fun with pool. >> They can't do it.". >> Do you think there was like a song. playing like uh when Uncle Phil came. back and ba bailed Will out in Fresh. Prince to Soul Man? You think Joe Rogan. was like I'm a but it was like God.
smack, >> dude. He What? My first episode? >> No. No. I was like Phil uh so. >> Uncle Phil and uh whatchamacall. >> so [ __ ] good. That might be my. favorite episode of Fresh Prince. >> Yeah, true. >> Will's hustling people and then he gets. crushed. >> and then. >> Uncle Phil comes in and just beats. brakes off every. >> He's Phil from down the way. [laughter]. >> You ever see that thing in what's his. name? Denzel Washington. >> Like he starts talking about like. stealing [ __ ] and stuff. He's like, "They didn't know I'm Denzel from Down. the Way." It's like, "Dude, you've been.
an actor for 50 years.". >> Like the Will Smith the the Will Smith. slap when he. >> actually go to like Julliard. >> Yes. He's an actor. >> It's like Lil Wayne. Remember Lil Wayne? And everyone's like, "Dude, he's so. [ __ ] badass." And everyone was, "Dude, went to art school.". >> I think he actually is. >> I think he actually was very. >> I think he was the real deal. >> Shot himself. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I think they like. >> Weezy seems like the real deal. >> Weezy was like 16 when they put him on. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> He handled child fame in the hood. Do. you understand the degree of like. >> I don't think he I don't know how well. he.
think he's been addict. for 20 years. >> Those kids couldn't handle that. >> Spade Spade had a kid in his. neighborhood get killed. He was on a rap. documentary on YouTube. >> They made a documentary about these. kids. They couldn't even handle like. YouTube fame. They started killing each. other. >> immediately. >> Trap Laura Ross. I get on his videos. sometimes. I drove home from uh the what. what was that place in Virginia? [ __ ]. um. >> the place I went for sleeping. >> The last time I left as hard as I did. earlier was Monro on the way home. I. >> about the Monroes. I drove.
>> I think I've showed you the clip. >> Oh, he we talked about it in the last. thing I've ever seen. I drove home from. Virginia and watched like a 4hour video. on Oblak. >> Tra. >> I just saw a nice there's a meme going. around of Oblak. >> What? >> Of uh. >> why' they put up signs? >> The squad together and then it's either. got a dove or locked up. >> or who's dead. >> He literally the entire squad. There's. like 30 dudes. It's like a football. photo. >> Put a black up. >> That is. >> They're all gone. >> That is like there's one guy that's not. in jail or dead. >> That's like all that's like allar.
dude. >> It's crazy. But it has all their. nicknames on there, too, which is pretty. great. >> That's great. Like [ __ ] squeaky like. a little pip. Little pip pip and stop. >> like a dove underneath it. God damn. >> Yeah, they were all tweeting like, "I. just killed that [ __ ] [ __ ]. [laughter]. >> I did it. I was me. >> I'm smoking weed we named after.". >> That's always the ramp up where they're. like, "Oh shit.". >> They're just on Twitter being like, >> "We're here right now. Come get us.". >> The funniest one though is uh there was. a guy named I think it's Mr. Disrespectful.
>> That's the one that dialed his neighbor. >> That's my neighborhood. So, I watched. that documentary. It was hilarious. He. was like, he was like, "Uh, they were. like, "What's your name?" He was like, "Mr. Disrespectful." Like, "Why do they. call you that?" He's like, >> "I just for real be disrespecting. people." [laughter]. >> Well, this is how disrespectful he was. He dug up one of his ops graves. >> Yeah, it was wild. >> And like danced on it. He dug up the He. killed a guy and then danced on his. grave. >> Yeah. >> He's dead now. >> But now he's dead. >> Yeah. Live by the sword. >> That's the I mean, that's like a. biblical. >> That's OG. the best in the digging.
somebody. I don't even think. >> the only you'd have to cartman their. family is the only way to be more. disrespectful is to grind them up. >> Maybe Braveheart time they did that. >> Yeah. Why are you like Native American? Why do you call yourself that? >> I think that. >> it's disrespectful. >> That move gets some doctor. disrespectful. >> I think he got a PhD in being. disrespectful. [laughter]. >> Up a grave. >> Taking up a grave. Dude, the only way. you can be more disrespectful is if I. showed up to fight you in your dead. grandmother's clothes. If I was even the.
devil was like, "Come on, man.". >> Oh, [laughter] dude. >> Hey, come on, man. >> I'm gonna be so bummed out if it's not. the South Devil, >> dude. If I die, it's not him. >> He's like, "Hi. Hey, what's up, guys? >> Instagram." [laughter]. >> Oh, you're [ __ ] crazy. >> Oh, you guys are doing it. >> You're That was my best joke. >> It was my favorite joke. >> Never made it. >> What? >> I used to do uh I was like When I was. opening for Soda, I'd be like, "Yo, this.
is my impression. This is my impression. of Allah calling Osama bin Laden the. night before 9/11." Just be like, >> "Dude, that must have been nuts for. people.". >> Please do it, dude. You know how much I. hate towers, man. >> Disrupt the capitalist pigs. >> This is O. This is the devil calling. Osama on on 912. >> Holy [ __ ] You guys did it. You guys are. [ __ ] crazy. Oh my god. >> I didn't even know that many girls. The. best part was watching you get excited. to do that joke doing it on stage and. then when you run out of real estate and.
you just be like you guys did it. anyways. >> Yeah, South Park. Anyway, >> South Park, but it is so funny. Oh, you. guys actually did it. >> Yeah. I don't I wish I still had that. I. tried my best to hit the [ __ ] thigh. slap for you. >> It was so It made me laugh. >> I did my best. >> It made me laugh really hard. >> You hit a thigh slap? >> He hit the thigh slap. Bringing me. >> No, not the mic. Just. >> He did the. I tried. >> fake hump. >> Yeah, I like you did fake hump. >> Did like two. Looked over at Dan just. going, "Oh [ __ ] it was great." Hey,
what's up everybody? >> Yeah, the the Chicago stuff they thought. they're like for real getting away with. it and the cops are like they're [ __ ]. killing each other, dude. That's like. kind of we don't have to do anything. >> I I know I don't want to say this, but. things easier. [laughter]. >> They're actually pretty bad. Nor kill. them. >> Listen, I've been a Chicago police. officer for 15 years. This is the least. I've ever. >> I'll tell you what, I love that King. Vaughn. [laughter]. >> This guy does my job for me. Automated. >> We used to go down and put a gun in the.
guy's hand, but this fella down in. Oblak, >> there's a guy on. >> that [ __ ] far thing. He said he was. killing me. >> Which one? He's like, "Let me tell you. about this guy. This guy says this. Let. me tell you about this guy.". >> I was like talking to a painter on lunch. break. He never gets to it. [laughter]. >> Yeah. No, wait for this. This is. amazing, >> dude. The one that I keep seeing on is. uh Farley. It's when Sandler's the. waiter and he's doing the pepper. >> So funny. The Italian restaurant. >> Farley breaking Sandler. >> Is it Christy Alley? >> I'm not sure who the lady is, but it's. Farley or Sandler's like, "Would you.
like some cracked peppers?" And Farley's. at the table. He's like, "I would. Thank. you." You just see Sandler like, "Why?". [laughter]. >> Just being a dick. Man, [ __ ] rocks. You know what else. rules? You know another good Farley. >> Anything you want you ask me in dirty. work. >> Oh, >> and he's like. >> anything you need.
He's like, [laughter]. >> "Can I stay at your place?" You see the. thing is this. >> It's dirty work where he's hitting the. dude box and he's like 50 G7. >> Rolling Stone Street Fight G7. >> You hit G8. Oh, you're right now your nephew's. convenience for her sister to sleep. Yeah, it's like the shining. He's going. Oh, no. That's me. [laughter]. >> Yeah. What else is going on, fellas? It.
a good pot. >> Oh, dude. Did anything happen with Vince. McMahon being in um Isn't he on trial? Like [ __ ] evil ass hair? >> I saw him going like 150 miles an hour. >> Yeah, I saw that video. I am. >> I thought that might have been I don't. know. >> I don't know if he's in trouble. I don't. know. That guy straight up looks evil. now with his eyes all up. >> I think he's also boys with Trump. I. think he's fine. >> He's like, I can do whatever I want. >> He's definitely going to be. >> new face polls are freaking me the [ __ ]. out. >> Jes.
>> Was that fake or what was the verdict on. that? >> I don't know. It's our new It's our new. Will Smith. >> This is the new slap. >> Was that real or fake? >> See Jim Car's face? I don't believe it. What's the gym care? Do you guys thought. the Will Smith Chris Rocks slap was a. work? >> No, I thought it was just a funny like. three years. You could make someone. >> drinking and you're like, "Dude, did you. do you remember that?". >> If you get anyone to talk, >> you could make someone talk about. >> and they get very interested. >> Dude, like the eye color is crazy. >> It was nuts.
>> Yeah, the slap, dude. It's crazy. >> I think enough time has passed we can. start talking about it again. Resurrection out of control. >> That was [ __ ] crazy. >> I agree with that a lot. >> I love it, dude. Did he sat back down. and then won? >> Best actor. >> Best actor. >> He won the best award. >> Awesome. >> Keep my wife. >> for what? Out of your mouth. >> Could you imagine blowing your nose in. Roger Goodell's tie and then winning the. Super Bowl? >> Serena Williams thing. >> Okay. Yeah, that was good though. >> Pitch. >> It was good. [laughter]. >> [ __ ] it. >> He's back though, right?
>> He's like King Richard. >> No, he tried rapping and it got weird. No, that one. >> I like girls. >> Everyone's like, "All right, dude.". to the concert in London with. >> like that. [clears throat]. >> I'm not gay. >> Yeah, I'm both gay and I I'm not wearing. a wire either. >> Billy has like a really extended theory. Probably not for here, but about that as. >> just like once you get into like a a rap. shoot where you're like, I need 15 girls. naked dancing around me. I'm not gay. >> I'm straight and I'm a [ __ ] murderer. >> And we're going to cut it at that and.
that's that. [laughter]. >> The Oblak was like, "You got a phone? Follow me. photos were about it. >> Crazy videos. No [ __ ] None. 50. shirtless black teenagers in a apartment. jumping up and down pointing guns at the. camera. >> Being a neighbor. >> Literally the scariest videos I've ever. seen in my life. [laughter]. >> I haven't been that scared since Rough. Riders and Yeah. Ruffers BMX. >> with the 4x4s. >> BMX was putting out scary videos on. >> ATVs. Obach. >> The only other guys that hold it down.
like that are ISIS. >> There's never checks in their videos and. they're killing people. So, they might. have to crown. ISIS has Yeah. All right. Fair. >> They don't rap, though. >> They could. >> I'll say this about US propaganda. They're making it too gay. >> Oh, yeah. >> Let other people make. >> What's up with the White House uh real. the the the pump me up intro? Whatever. >> 23year-old is running. >> the core. The White House core, whatever. that is. >> Yeah. They need that needs to stop. >> That's [ __ ] nuts. >> That sucks ass. >> They did like a bowling one. >> Yes. >> You see that? >> I think there might be a 23-year-old at.
the helm for. >> That's absolutely what they did. It's. like I got to be honest, it it reads, >> "Who do you think you or I am?". >> True. >> Yeah. But they were just probably like, "Hey, Rubio, does your nephew want to. run White House Twitter?" And he was. like, "Oh, that'd be hilarious. Be. hilarious to own these.". >> We're owning the libs. >> Own. >> It doesn't matter, dude. I'm going to. open the straight. [laughter]. >> You're You're by yourself. >> Yeah. You should start another theme. park. I'm opening the straight of Hormuz.
[laughter]. off the shores of Iran. Comedian Shane. Gillis. >> We have to know someone on the NIC. >> Open up or you're gay. >> You guys ever jack off? >> Look at this. The ships. >> This is you standing on a. >> I couldn't speak to ISIS. They would be. like good. >> Should have went to that Saudi thing. >> Oh yeah. >> True [ __ ]. >> That was where your connects would have. opened the straight. >> Lost your pole. >> Do it now. >> Yeah. >> You think I should go to Riad now? >> Yeah. Go. just to open up now.
>> showing the round on a floating stage. >> on a Chinese barge on a belly. >> Dude, we'll get the Chinese involved. >> Smiley. The pirates are going to show up. and go, "Actually, this guy's pretty. funny." [laughter]. >> I saw him. I saw him in the straight up. show in Yemen. >> He's one of the greatest. >> Cliff Story. [laughter]. >> Unbelievable. Cliff live in the straight. of. >> Cliff. Cliff Story live straight of Hormuse. >> It opened up. Oil went down to $50 a.
barrel. [laughter]. >> Half the price. >> No, I'm going to open the straight of. Hormoose. >> Dude, do you know about Diego Garcia? >> Uh. >> there's this [ __ ] island that's like. >> go down into like the Indian Ocean. The. British found this [ __ ] island, dude. >> And they can hit Asia. They can hit. everywhere if they just take this over. So they took it over. It's like 50. [ __ ] years ago or whatever. And they. can do whatever the [ __ ] they want. >> Who? >> The British. >> The British out of. >> nothing. >> And I And Trump got busted. He was like,
"Dude, >> England's a state. >> I'll show it to you. It's [ __ ] nice.". >> England is nothing at this. They sent. one boat over there. >> They're bums. The fools. Yeah, >> Donald. >> We help you. >> England are bums these days. >> Yeah, but you don't want to get warmed. up. They're like They could be like. Jenkos. They could come back. >> True. For sure. I mean, they're capable. of pure evil. >> They back going. Is that Are we about to. col colonize it? >> They're the only one who had the real. white slaves. >> Yeah, they had hog down, bro.
>> Yeah, >> dude. You really think about that? They. come back like John Wick. [laughter]. >> They're like, "Oh, you we're going to. make them slaves." The white. >> and like Trump Trump said some [ __ ] I. can't I don't know. It's some [ __ ]. >> Yeah, Trump will let uh classified he'll. let classified [ __ ] slip in. [clears throat] every meeting. We're. lucky he's married cuz if he was trying. to get [ __ ] still. >> pull him out, dude. >> It took one spot. >> The the thing snapped on his finger and. he's like, I would have hid the pain. >> He's definitely still trying to get. [ __ ].
>> Oh, no. I know. But I'm saying if it was. out, >> I don't think marriage has ever held. that boy back. >> I don't think Melania was He's like, I. can't. >> I love Melania. Did you watch the movie? >> Well, I started it. It's. >> the Melania movie. >> I cannot number one. >> You got to make La Mer and Nate watch it. with you. >> Oh, yeah. It's really well shot. >> I kind of just want to watch I just want. to watch it. I want to be hilarious, >> dude. You know what's nuts? It's like. the soundtrack must have cost a fortune. >> Well, they got sued. No, no, they got. sued by No, no, no. All like all the.
bands that are in it, they just took all. the music they wanted to put. >> It's like a pump me up bid with drone. footage and [ __ ]. >> with Hot Millennial Walk. >> Yeah. >> All right. I will have to I will have to. sit them. >> But it gets beat. They She goes into. like fashion [ __ ] and there's a bunch of. dudes like measuring her for dresses. I. was I'm shutting this off. >> Yeah. Not for you. >> Yeah. >> I I wouldn't mind watching the. measurements. What's going on there? >> Trust me, when you get to the part, you'll shut it off, too. >> Okay. Well, I'm not going to ever watch. it. [laughter]. >> Just I will never watch that. It might.
have been a secret message in or. something. >> I just wanted to see what it was. >> Yeah. They turned them all into Manurion. candidates. >> Yeah. Do you know if you watched Melania. that was what MK Ultra led to? >> I mean, I think was Melania. >> So, wait. Does your boy your guys boy. Trump that you guys voted for? Does he. >> This right now we're on rock. >> that you guys voted for. >> Uh it's. >> you actually saying how wholesome he was. literally five minutes ago. >> When you're like, "Dude, he's the man. You got to admit it.". >> When? >> Last week. >> Last week? >> Yeah. >> Oh, no. That was uh You said he didn't.
have the juice. I said he still. definitely has the juice. >> He doesn't need juice. >> The juice is. >> No, no, no, no. When it comes to. shit-talking, the boy still got it. You. were trying to say he lost a step. >> He's losing a little bit. >> Oh, yeah. His fast is not. >> No. No. >> It's hitable now. >> As soon as he said it, I watched him. >> His hair looks great. >> I watched him throw about [laughter]. 106. >> His hair looks amazing. >> Threw 106. >> It's like Nolan Ryan at the end. Remember Nolan Ryan was like, >> that was a great documentary. >> I just listened to I just listened to. Bill say he lost his fastball. Then I. watched a clip of him going, I just.
passed a [ __ ] test that would be. impossible for you. You too. [laughter]. And I said, this guy still got it. What. are we talking now? I'm not. Now, the. juice is different than. >> when he got hit decision making when he. got hit with Epstein and he literally. pretty much it like why are we fighting? >> He's like what are we fighting about? That's that was a low point. >> That was a low point as far as juice. goes. Low point in the juice. >> Oh, what about what are you guys talking. about? >> I have a [ __ ] theory that Obama and. Trump are actually friends and this has. all been a scout to wrap up the Middle.
East. We're just going to wrap it up. We're going to put in a little bow. It's. going to be ours. And they pretended. that they were they were they were. enemies. >> Now this could be the end of. >> Obama was actually like you know what. you'll never be as president of the. United States. And that was actually. like a little like dubbing like dude you. will be the president of the. >> This is what you don't understand though. Shane. You play this right. >> five chess. >> You play this. Trump plays it with five. at a time. >> It's Obama. It's [laughter]. >> true. >> Yeah. So, we there's a there's a lot of. dudes on the internet right now like.
going with some crazy theories and. they're like, "It's chess and it's 5D. Trump's in control." I was like, "I did. see that guys.". >> Oh, yeah. It was It was the dumbest. tweet made up. >> It was 5D. He was like, "It's chess. It's 5D." And he goes, "The reason we. took Venezuela so we could take Iran.". And it's like, >> I I could have come up with that one. >> Exactly. Do it. [laughter] Sorry. >> It's your friend who dates a stripper. who swears she's not a [ __ ] [laughter].
>> She's not a [ __ ]. >> That's what I was talking about. >> She likes to dance. >> Last week of the dudes posting videos of. the world artistic expression. >> She's dancing. >> She's dancing. How much money do you. make? >> You're a hooker. >> How much money are you making tonight? >> You're a hooker. [laughter]. >> Possibly. Yeah. >> Yeah. That's the greatest. No, the. hooker. The dudes who post videos on. [ __ ] Twitter. Nash Tel Aviv is getting bombed to hell. And someone's like, "That's not Tel. Aviv. That's actually from 2016. They. just said, I mean, dude, it's a fog of. war. It's like you're literally on. Twitter. >> It's a fog of war. >> It's a fog of war.
>> I don't even know. I don't know where to. find a single piece of information. >> It's done. >> Oh, don't that's honestly the the. greatest win in Russia's history was. just destroying us having valified. >> Now you're being tricked into thinking. Russia gives a Russia's doing nothing, dude. Who gives a [ __ ] about Russia? You. ever see that dude's not winning. anything? >> You know what it is? Probably win. Ukraine. You know when you're you know. when you uh when you just have a. headache and you just always attribute. it to hung over. >> You go [ __ ] Russia. >> Hung over. You go Russia. Russia's like. I don't even. >> Now you're getting close. There's one.
more hell out of the Cold War kids. >> It's not Russia. >> Yeah. Get the real headache. >> Yep. >> You'll get there and. >> then you're going to go. >> Yo, this feeling [laughter]. >> none of my problems real. Why do they make all our decisions? >> It's like that thing with the IQ charts. like [laughter]. >> Russia's low IQ. No offense. >> I love that dude who's lab Russia is the. equivalent of my dad being like going to.
nuke cuz. >> Trump's a Russian spy. >> You go Russia and then you go it's not. >> it's not Russia. >> but it's somebody. >> and I'll give you a hint. [laughter]. >> Canada the whole time. I'll give you a hint who it is. I'm not. allowed to say who it is. >> Is he actually [laughter]. Is he going to do a concert there? >> No, that's AI. >> Oh, [ __ ] I wish. >> if he did a concert in Tel Aviv, either. they would kill, somebody would kill. him. >> You ever watch a video like it was like. or that.
>> he did television. >> I thought Baron doing dog day was AI. >> So did I. Yeah, that's [ __ ] crazy. But you ever watch a documentary about. the monster next door? You ever see it. >> about the guy who like worked. >> We've talked about this. >> Yeah. Uh, it's the guy who worked at a. like Ford factory and they were like, "Aren't you the uh butcher of Trebinka?". And he was like, "What?". >> Like, "How did he get here?" He got took. Israel for a trial. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> It was just like a. >> random dude. The best part of the whole.
[ __ ] thing. >> Maybe he might have the butcher. >> The best part of the entire You're the. guy who worked at the concentration. camp, right? >> No. They have a trial and the guy goes, "How did he get here?" He's like by a. train over the ocean. [laughter] That. was great. >> My favorite though is I used to Yeah, I. used to talk about doing that as a bit. then Louie. Never mind. But just the idea of a guy. at like a factory just like pushing. [ __ ] buttons and then somebody being. like, "Aren't you the [ __ ] butcher of. Dak?". >> I was just showing Billy. Uh,
>> stop. Oh, just. >> don't say that. [ __ ] dude. >> Shame. >> Like, yo, I swear to God you were a SS. officer. Shut the [ __ ] up, dude. Stop. joking around about this. You're on a flight. You're like looking. down at Jerusalem like, "Oh shit." Do. >> you remember the old Lucky Lou? >> Going to Israel. >> Remember the old Lucky Lou clip when. he's in an AA meeting and he's like, "You guys are just all assholes.". >> No. >> Do you remember this? I just showed it. to Bill. >> Very good. No, >> it's a good ass [ __ ] show. >> Lucky Lou is great on HBO.
>> In that documentary, there's a He goes. to Jerusalem and he has to get a lawyer. and everyone's like, >> "No one's picking this guy." Yeah, >> the lawyer Jewish dude rolls up in a. porch like I'll do it. [laughter]. >> That's too. >> How many How many people did you kill? >> Oh, >> we can get him out. >> What's your 401k? I got a That guy's. name is [ __ ] classic. What is that. called? Monster. Yes. >> Monster. Devil next door. >> What was the What What was his. ethnicity? Was he Ukrainian? >> Polish. Polish.
>> It was hilarious. He's like from. >> in a Polish neighborhood. It's the. people, the Polish people in Cleveland. are like, "He wouldn't do that.". >> No, he he's the head of our sauerkraut. club. >> Yurum Chefel is Yurum Chef. >> I'll take a [ __ ] case. >> Rolls up in a Porsche German car. >> I'm going to watch this. I'm excited to. watch this documentary. >> It's great. >> It's great. Also, you really Yeah, you'll see. >> You'll see. >> You're not going to know. >> I'm going to watch it real evil. I got W.
I got WBC and I got [ __ ] this. documentary. >> world baseball. Dude, we lost to the. Waps. >> Did we? >> Dude, the W. I'm going to say right now, Italy is a fun team from the Olympics. >> Arinola was dealing tonight. >> Like all the countries play each other. >> I didn't even know. >> They uh Italy rules. >> Italy. Well, they're not actually. Italian. They're all just American. dudes. >> Yeah, it's lit 90% American guys. What's. up with the if you're in the Olympics, right, and you are American and you have.
like another heritage, like what is with. that? >> You talking about that lady skiing for. China? >> I'm confused about that. >> Cuz I'll tell you what, I'm confused, too. And I was a confused person getting. an illusion. >> cuz I don't like the support for this. lady. >> I don't understand this. >> I didn't even do enough factf finding to. find out. If she got paid to do it, [ __ ]. that noise. >> Well, you just used to be an amateur. >> I don't even like it, though. I don't. like it at all. >> China America. >> No. Come on. >> The one the only ones I understand. >> She's incredible at what she does. >> WBC I understand because USA.
>> nothing but respect. >> Oh, she rips. She rips. Isn't Isn't she. a skier? [laughter]. >> Nothing but respect. >> WBC I'm cool with it cuz USA doesn't. take a lot of guys and then guys go I. want to play. >> Yeah, WBC is there's no rules. You can. be your grandma can be from She can be. half a. >> dude. There's a white catcher on the. Dominican Republic. >> dude. look up the white catcher on the. [ __ ] It's so funny. He looks like the. one white kid in the hood. >> and they're all like and they watch him. dance and they're like every time they. score then he's like.
>> Dominican Republic's playing Japan. >> Yeah. Uh no, they're playing Korea. Venezuela's playing Japan. >> Oh, Venezuela's [ __ ] got a squad. though. That was a great game last. night. >> Damn. It sucks. It sucks Israel got. dropped. It would have been nice. Venezuela. Israel. >> Venezuela. It's crazy to watch him and you go, "You. guys don't even have a leader right. now." [laughter]. >> Like, I [ __ ] Wasn't one kid like an. electrician who just shut up. >> We can stay up. >> We can stay up as late as we want. >> I don't even have like We ate We ate ice.
cream for breakfast. >> We're Venezuela. >> No, [laughter]. >> no, the but Italy is fun. Vinnie. Pascantino the Pasquatch, bro. >> He's the man. Came show. >> Little story about the Pasquatch. >> Pasquatch is the [ __ ] man. That's. just Italian Hav can play for Italy, >> dude. He. >> Hold on. Did I tell you that you know. the the Pasquatch story? >> No, >> this guy rules. >> This guy's the first baseman for the. Kansas City Royals. >> Yeah. >> Cool as hell. >> Oh, yeah. Huge idiot. >> I forgot you were.
>> It was great. >> It was. >> Yeah. >> So, he we we did a show in Cleveland. The Royals were playing the Cleveland. Indian or the Guardians. They Excuse me. Excuse me. She looks good now. Uh, thank you for getting her correct. pronouns. >> Hey, look. >> That's crazy that they got to you. But, uh, it must have been in the back. But. >> he took the vax. Now he's using proper. pronouns. Me. >> Uh, yeah. You did earlier. But we do a. show. No, dude. Come 1984. [laughter].
>> Busting out. What you bust out the shirt. till now? >> It was fantastic. H but no doubt they a. couple of the guys from the Royals came. to the show and then most of the guys. were like, "Yo, we gota gotta dip out. We got a game tomorrow." Not the. Pasquatch Pass. >> Coldest line I've ever heard. >> Tomorrow I don't give a [ __ ] Let's have. a little fun. He goes [laughter]. He goes, "You guys going out?". >> He goes, "You guys going out after the. show?" We go, "Yeah." And the and like. Bobby Wood Jr. and like all the Royals.
all the Royals were like, "All right, we're going back. we got a uh we got to. play tomorrow during the day. >> Yeah. >> And Pasquatch just like looks down. He. goes, "You guys going out?" He go, "Yeah." He goes, "Fuck it. I'm DH and. I'll go out with you guys." [laughter]. And then right as he said that, Shane. goes, >> " $100, you're going to hit a home run.". And and Vinnie was like, "Book it." And. then we went out, they drank. >> Do it. >> Do we land in We land in uh where was. the next? >> No, we were we were going to a casino. >> and we get to a red light.
>> Yeah. And you can see the Pasquatch was. thinking to himself, >> should probably get to bed. I got to. play the Cleveland Indian swan. Dude, he. [laughter] just gets out of the [ __ ]. Uber and goes. >> at a red light. He was like, >> he he'd been silent for like 15 minutes. and before that he was chatting a little. and then all of a sudden you can see the. wheels were turning for a while. He. goes, "You know what guys, I got to go. in." [laughter]. >> He got out at a red light. I respected. it cuz it was it was the best duck and. roll I've seen out of a car in a while. >> And he just disappeared in the night and.
then we went. >> next next day. >> goes yard. Damn. Hit the home run. >> Really? >> Yeah, >> dude. Bottom of the fourth. >> He's the man. >> Katie was going nuts. I told her about. it and we landed in [ __ ] DC. She's. like, "Vyard,". and I was like, "Dude, Vinnie went. yard." He's like, "No, he [ __ ] we. >> Bobby sent me a picture of him in his. [ __ ] in the ice bath just like. [laughter]. guy's a legend, dude. >> So, he's on team Italy, right? But he's.
like their leader. He's like their glue. guy. >> He's also the captain. >> Yeah, >> he's like locker room. >> locker room guy. >> Not just locker, dude. He He hit a three. home runs in there last year. >> Well, he was 0 for 12 before that. >> I know. Zero. >> But he's he does they have an espresso. machine in the dugout. So, when you hit. a home run, you drink an espresso. >> Holy [ __ ]. >> Jagger and they all go. >> and they put on an Armani. Yeah. Yeah. They go like this. That's [laughter]. [ __ ]. >> dude. They're up 8 nothing on the. >> Where did this take place? >> Houston and Miami and San Juan, Puerto. Rico and Tokyo. Now it's down to.
Houston. >> Yeah, it'll be in Miami and Houston or. just [ __ ]. >> Is America still in it? >> Thank god we needed Italy to beat Mexico. and we did it. >> Yeah, dude. Our our our. like who do we have? >> Our team. Bryce Harper, Aaron Judge. >> All right, we got everybody. >> Everybody. >> Yeah, but we we tried. >> We tried to rest. We tried to rest some. boys against the Waps. >> Oh yeah. >> And the Waps went nuts. It was 8. nothing. >> Dude, the beat they put on. >> [ __ ] killed. >> Those Italians are good with bats.
>> Which was funny cuz the first the first. home run and they're all doing the. espresso [ __ ] Yeah, that's fun. They're. having a good time. That's cute. >> Eight nothing. You're going these. [ __ ] do that when they turn on. their country. >> He's [ __ ] checking. >> The size of war. >> Yeah, exactly. >> Yeah. Who would have thought the Waps. weren't going to be loyal? First first. inning you're like this is this is a lot. of fun culture by the way. >> This is hilarious. >> Sixth inning he goes glucose nostro. [ __ ] pieces of [ __ ]. >> Yeah. I became Elliot Ness real quick. [laughter] We got to put an end to this.
[ __ ]. >> Follow the money. Follow the money. But. Aaron Judge [ __ ] had a chance to win. it. We had two runners on. Bottom of the. ninth. Two outs and he [ __ ] struck. out. Italy got us. >> He's a physical freak, dude. >> Were you there at the garden when he was. there? >> No. Oh, that was a It was. >> It would have been nice for you to be. >> Wait, he was at your show? >> Yeah. >> Holy [ __ ]. >> He is a horse. >> Yeah, he looks like a horse. >> It's hilarious. >> He's a horse man. He looks like a. >> You walk through a room, you go, "What. the Oh my god.". >> But also, it's because he's.
proportionally correct. >> Yeah, that's what I mean. Before, dude, it's terrifying. We were. in Arizona and we saw this dude, >> dude. Remember that, >> dude? We were in Arizona. We saw this. cowboy walking in a coffee shop and I. thought my eyes were playing tricks on. me and Billy was like, "Yo, Spade, walk. up to that dude." And it was like. >> he was huge. >> Was he proportionally? >> But he was proportional with a jeans. like normal height and everything. >> An NBA player you can watch walk by and. it's all bones like long arms. >> He's huge. >> A proportionally correct dude that's.
6'8. >> It's crazy. >> Is [ __ ] hilarious. [laughter]. >> Well, like LeBron's 69 and he's pretty. he's pretty proportional. He's pretty. proportional. >> I can't watch him with his I see so many. highlights. >> You're team Jordans. >> Yeah. No, they just send me all this. like LeBron flops. LeBron, >> you know what's funny is my algorithm is. all Larry Bird [ __ ] talk videos. >> You see the Doc Jilly. >> Oh, I just love all those briskies. Would you. >> was great beard, dude. >> I love I love Larry Legends the heck for.
>> Dr. J was making Gilly and Dr. J were. making fun of Bird's neck. It was wild. >> Did you see uh I think it was Doc. Rivers. He played for the Hawks when. Larry was like, I'm going to hit this. three in this corner. And then he did. and you see the entire Hawks bench cuz. it was right in front of their bench. like [laughter]. >> there's a story that. >> the coach came in the next day and like. put on film and was like, >> "Did you watch the ABA thing?". >> [ __ ] you trying to stop him. The what?
>> Daniel, you guys watch the ABA thing? >> This [ __ ] was slick. >> He made a whole documentary on the ABA. >> Oh, five and pretty new. >> Yeah. I'll absolutely watch that. >> Scoring 100 though, Wil is the goat. >> That's [ __ ]. >> 100 points and then just [ __ ]. >> everybody. >> By the way, illegally probably at the. time he's taking down white ladies and. they're like, "Yo.". >> Like 100. >> What are you going to do about it? >> Yeah. You ever seen. >> I'm up here. He just holds white women. up here. >> like cookies on top of the refrigerator.
>> That's it. Give me back my life. God. damn it, Will. >> You ever see him like doing track? He's. somewhat proportional. >> He is slightly proportional. >> Yeah, there's that clip of him being. like him and Michael Jord or Bill. Walton's telling the story. >> Is it the elevator? know about they're. at the 90s all all century team or. whatever and Wilt and Michael Jordan are. arguing about who's the best of all time. and someone's like. well championships or whatever and then.
Wilt's like you know my friend was. telling me that the other day and he's. got 11 of them and he was talking about. Bill Russell and you're like oh [ __ ]. then he got him at the end you're like. oh. >> Will Chamberlain scored a 100 points. [laughter] with no three-pointer. they When you watch When you watch world. highlights, it is funny cuz he is good. >> Yeah. >> Like he like looks almost modern. >> Yeah. >> When you watch the soul power thing, they they show the in the soul power. like.
>> they show the old a the before the ABA, they show the old NBA and it's so beat. >> obviously. >> And then they're like, dude, they they. brought in a three-pointer. >> basketball. Yeah. >> It was. >> They had like laces on the ball. >> Yeah. But they can tackle each other. That's crazy. >> That's where Bill Lambir came in. >> Yo, the 89. >> Shout out N. >> Bill Lambir was a problem. He was just. pissing everyone off. He was the. original rage bait. >> Stunk, dude. He might have averaged. [ __ ] five. >> He just [ __ ] slap people's arms. >> Um the Montana documentary was that he.
played basketball. >> Oh, Joe Montana. Joe Montana was like as. good at basketball as he was at. football. >> No, he was a running quarterback. >> Well, they in the documentary they're. like he was good. >> That's wild. I used to be obsessed with. Jim Flamir averaged nine and five. I was. close. >> Nine and five. >> Yeah, that's like my stats. >> He's a legend just because he was a. honky on Detroit. >> He was a honk on Detroit. That would. cause problems for people. [laughter]. People hated Bill Lamb. >> You know Lambir? >> No. >> Watch anything you could find.
>> Hilarious, dude. >> He would just go out and fight all the. best players, >> dude. Hard fouls. He'd be like, "Yeah, he was a goon. He was straight up a goon. and he would be he was a 6'10 goon. He's. like, "I'll slap that guy.". >> That's like hacker shack. >> Like throw be like, "Yeah, I'm going to. punch Michael Jordan in the mouth." All. right, get out there, you [ __ ] idiot. >> Did they put people in for shack and. then just go like just club his [ __ ]. forearms? >> [ __ ]. >> Please stop doing that. >> Diesel's king. >> Diesel's Diesel's my favorite player.
ever. >> Number one with a bullet. >> He's got to be, dude. >> He just came. He's like, I don't know. Oh yeah, Jack. >> Shack fruit. He's like, "I want to dunk. Do you want me to dunk it?". >> Yeah. >> His bed in MTB Cribs [ __ ] me up. >> Yeah, it was a little scary. >> Yeah, [ __ ]. >> I remember that. I never saw the movie. Blue Chips rocked. >> Was that like What part of his career is. that? >> He was a rookie. He was a rookie with. the Magic. >> Yeah, it was early cuz that's why. Anthony Hardaway was in it, too. >> Yeah. >> Okay.
>> He didn't even want it. >> Jay and I used to do the Nick Noly from. Blue Chips constantly. Chase is a great. damn tractor and he didn't even want it. Come on Neon, [laughter]. >> dude. Nick Noly is the best in blue. chip. >> He's like, "All right, tell me you. didn't shave it.". >> He's just They. >> What do you like better, blue chips or. he got game, >> dude? Both of them are raped. >> Ah, he got game. Allen's great. >> Jesus Shuttlesworth. Oh, >> come on. >> Took his official visit to Elon.
University in that. >> Did he really? >> Yeah. when he bangs those white chicks. Never saw. >> I never I never even got close to what. you [laughter]. >> That's why you went to the movie. >> It's because you watch game. >> I remember kids used to say that in high. school like, "Dude, Elon, the women to. dude ratio is crazy.". >> It was. >> I never even heard of the place. >> Didn't help. >> Yeah. Nothing you can do with that. information. >> Yeah. There was a lot of Christian. >> Yeah. There's nothing you can do about. it. There's a lot of babes, but doesn't. help when you're 300 lb and quitting the. football team. When you're not on the.
team and 300 lb, it's not that cool. Yeah, but they say that all the time. I. went to Arizona and everyone's like, "Oh, Arizona party school." You're like, "I was poor.". >> That's a party school. >> Yeah, but I was poor and had to work. That's where I got [ __ ] It was not at. the. >> We used to drive to Penn State and. they'd be like, "You think this is. cool?" Arizona. >> Arizona State. >> I'll be honest. I just did Arizona. recently and it holds up. >> It rocks. Arizona State is insane. Arizona State off, bro. Dude, am I.
remembering this right? Is that where. Phil Mickelson went? >> Phil Mickelson like bats golf in Arizona. with Arizona kids. I might not be. remembering that right. >> Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane. secret podcast on Spotify. >> Do it.
