Ep 603 - GEY DOT COM (feat. Tim Butterly & Mike Rainey)

THE WILD WILD WEST. >> Welcome to the [ __ ] [laughter]. podcast. >> Yeah, thank you. Sean, did you get that? I had a nice moment. Um. I had old Nate with me this weekend and. we were in It was either Pittsburgh or. Cleveland, but like when you come out of. like the little theater. there's you can see the people on the. sides who are already seated. So I I. always scope the stage and people will. see you and they This one guy from the. balcony went. >> [laughter].

>> from backstage. I was like, "That's. nice." Nice moment of connection. >> [laughter]. >> Pretty much ended the male loneliness. epidemic. Just the two guys going. >> [laughter]. >> Just two 40-year-old men. >> You never. You never see Chalamet doing that to. anybody. [laughter]. >> Chalamet could probably talk to one of. these. >> I mean, it's such It might be if I have. to go through every hand gesture you can. possibly do to somebody. This might reign supreme going. >> You think that's a threat or just like.

an acknowledgement? >> It's just like one party bro to another. I mean, it could be a threat. [laughter]. If you see a guy with his girlfriend you. go. Then it'd be like, "Bro, I'm on a date. What the [ __ ] man?". I don't know what that guy was doing. He's [laughter] out of out of hand. As soon as your As soon as your. girlfriend or wife turns around you go. back and go. >> [laughter]. [laughter]. >> Well, god dammit, dude. Mike Rainey, Tim. Butterly, thank you guys for coming. >> Good to be back, man. I love talking. [ __ ] gestures with you guys. >> Gestures is amazing. I I called.

I called Rainey recently just to talk. shop cuz I'm going to come to your dad. meet in I think 2 weeks if I get back. from spring break. Spring break forever. >> [laughter]. >> I'm going to go visit family. >> [laughter]. >> And uh. And um. Now, I was talking to Rainey. and I was telling Rainey. >> [laughter]. >> I was telling. >> The old nicotine test is not bad. >> That's too much. >> They flip you Yeah, They they takes a. while. Whatever like sensitive stuff you.

need No, no, I'm telling you whatever. There was like little villi or whatever. in your esophagus all have to die so you. can do nicotine tablets. >> hang, man. >> They're rough. You might get kind of. horny, too. >> pounding right now. >> I dude, I gave one to my brother at a. wedding. He goes, "Dude, I got like. bricked up.". >> [laughter]. >> I'm feeling anything like that? >> I'm watching cunnilingus, so I'm good. >> True. True. This [laughter] is a true. test. >> So we I was talking to Rainey. I don't. even know how we got on the subject. I I. probably brought it up honestly, but I. was talking about Tim about um.

just like going to Vegas. What are you. talking How do we How do we get on the. subject? >> About uh jerking in hotel rooms. >> Probably was jerking in hotel rooms. That's probably how we got onto this, but I I was. >> one. >> I was telling him like, "Dude, like. every Last time I was in Vegas, it. happens to me every time I'm in Vegas. I. don't like Vegas, so I don't want to be. there. You know, I just I don't like it. I'm sorry. I don't like the city. But. there is also a part of me and this is. probably why I don't want to be there is. like whenever I'm going to the airport, those like real seedy like shitty motels. next to like a [ __ ] porn shop and a.

strip club and I'm like, "Just let me [ __ ] beast out. Let Give. me 3 months, dude, of just like cargo. shorts, wifebeater, flip-flops to just. live in a like a shitty motel in Vegas. and grow tusks. >> Mhm. >> Come back.". >> Yeah, every guy should have the leave in. a Las Vegas treatment. At least for like. [laughter] a like a summer camp. >> I don't know I pass them and I I got to. be honest, there's a part of me I. >> never do it, but there's part of me. being like, >> "You thought they just park it in there. for a few months?". >> Park it in there. Long-term motel stay.

>> Be a pig. And I what I was telling. Rainey cuz Rainey was like, "Oh, yeah, like What Oh, you're getting You're. going to throw up?". >> [laughter]. >> They throw up in the plant. They'll get you Take drink some dirt. water. Drink some dirt water. What the hell, dude? You go to the. You're getting the hiccups. You're. >> [laughter]. >> That's step two to throwing up. I told you. >> Can't oral nicotine. It's crazy. [laughter]. How do you live like that? >> You got to get used to it, man. You got. to you got to you know. You got to slowly put you know slowly. put the uh. >> You want me to pat your back?

>> The D. I don't know. I was trying to think of a. thing. I almost called it something. else. I'm like that wouldn't actually. sound real sound good. I was going to. shorten nicotine and call it You shorten. nicotine D. And I was like that might. come off wrong on the podcast. [laughter]. The um yeah. >> Yeah, it'd be nice waking up every day. in the shitty motel. >> Shitty motel porn shop. And that's also. sounding rainy cuz I I think. >> where our philosophies diverge in being. a total pig in that shitty motel in Las. Vegas. He was like yeah, just like. completely pig out. I was like no, I. would get in the best shape of my life. in there. >> Like prison.

>> I would get in. >> These are two different prison. philosophies. >> Exactly. Exactly. Or you might go the. way of indulgence in terms of comfort. >> Yeah, I would train harder than ever and. be like a jacked sicko pervert bringing. lunch to strippers at like 11:30. And. I'd bring them healthy stuff. I'd bring. the strippers like healthy food. >> Acai. >> Yeah, you know like. that's every time I'm in Vegas I order. healthy meals. I'm like this is just me. and prostitutes and strippers eating. this food. [laughter]. We're the only people getting acai bowls. in Las Vegas. It's just me and Dominican prostitutes. >> Yeah, acai is like hooker food.

>> [laughter]. >> Yeah, this is a fun exercise to do in. Vegas. is just stop randomly in your travels in. the street and then see how quickly you. can get to a vegetable. And it'll it's it's taken. >> vegetable like no arms and legs like. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah, see how long it takes for. you to. >> to find a guy with a a wheelchair that. you steer with a straw. >> That's. >> That's [laughter] Xeno. >> How soon can you eat a vegetable? And. it's taken me a very long time to find a.

>> [laughter]. >> I should provide context. We're we're. Tim, you gave up the vape. You gave up. the [ __ ] V. >> Which isn't fair. >> Which is you don't you don't think it's. fair. I think it's totally fair. >> Why? >> You can't vape and be a daddy. >> I think you can't vape and be a daddy. Become a cigar guy. >> Well, full-time daddy you can't be. >> Ew, no. >> Why? Daddy's sucking a fake hog again. There goes daddy and his friends. Look. at them out there. >> That's just like the bath plug, it keeps. the real ones out. >> [laughter].

>> That's the pacie, bro. >> [laughter]. >> That's so you don't suck your thumb. >> I want the synthetic cigar, it's fine. I. don't need the plants. >> No, a cigar, you need a cigar, you need. your paws to be sitting there. >> Yeah, you don't want you don't want to. go to Instagram and post la familia? >> [laughter]. >> No. >> I'm not going to post like you know how. they like they wear suits to a funeral. and they go I clean up nice, you know, the funeral selfie with your kids. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, you just described my wigger.

brothers. Come on, man. I'm not doing. that. >> too, is always like. >> [laughter]. >> you can have you couldn't even recognize. the person. They somehow get such a far. suit out. See the haircut, you're like yeah, I. think that is. I think that is that guy. I know. >> Yeah, the chin strap gets shaved down to. almost like pencil thin. Like it's just. an outline of their face. >> [laughter]. >> Is your wigger brother still alive? >> Uh, I think so. I'd have to check, but. probably, yeah. They never die. [clears throat]. They never die when you want them to. >> They are living longer. Like they are I. think it's like global warming that's. doing it to them. >> Yeah, life expectancy on them is like. maybe How old's Everlast? He might be.

the oldest. >> I would say 55 years old. >> 55 seems kind of aged for them. 55 Oh, he's 55, okay. >> Yeah. Which in in wigger years, that's I mean, that's geriatric. That's. >> That's like Moses. That's when they say. like Moses was 900 years old. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, you're like the the Indian guy. with like the curled fingernails. 55. wigger. >> Yeah, I feel like once you go I mean, Everlast [laughter]. >> brim gets longer and longer until it. curls in on itself. >> Everlast paved the way with the gray. hair, though.

Uh, he might have been the first to see. gray. >> Day one. >> And it helps, too, he named himself. Everlast. He's also like projecting his. own [ __ ] fate. >> Well. >> What'd you say? >> I said uh, "Oh, I'm not going to repeat. it, but I said Everlast walk, so my. brothers could limp.". >> [laughter]. >> They're both faking disability for or. right now. It's kind of an inside thing, but. >> that's also you got to. >> Yeah. >> Do you think he intentionally left the. House of Pain guys behind or. >> Who, Everlast? >> Wasn't he in House of Pain? >> Yeah, he was in House of Pain. >> Yeah. >> How many guys are in House of Pain?

>> three. >> What happened to those guys? >> I don't know. I think maybe the DJ is. the Limp Bizkit guy. I might have my. wiggers mixed up. >> Hold up. What? You're telling me the DJ. from House of Pain joined Limp Bizkit? Is that DJ Lethal? I think he was the. >> Can I Can I just Can we get a Can we get. a 50/50 grind on a rail real quick? I. can't I got to process this information. [laughter]. Can I grind a curb with my roller blades. real quick so I can just process this? I. didn't know that. >> Yeah. >> What? >> Yeah, man. And there was uh I think. there was one other guy. >> Who did "Pack It Up, Pack It In"? Was. that Everlast? Classic?

>> Yes. >> Okay. That part was sick. Jump around. That was House of Pain. >> Yeah. >> Danny Boy. >> Danny Boy. Where the hell is he at? Dead, probably. >> Yeah, he sounds like he got killed in a. motorcycle. >> [laughter]. >> Is he alive? Where is Danny Boy? >> Boston Probably the Boston streets. Or. maybe LA. Either way, um. we don't have to research this. That. [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> That [ __ ] That blew my That blew my. mind. I had no idea. >> Yeah. >> Damn, so that was a huge snag for LB.

>> Mhm. >> Like, how did that even come about? >> I don't know, man. It's like I I gave up. trying to figure out wiggers because. it's. everything about them makes less and. less sense. Like, you think you have. them figured out as a kid, you're like, "Okay, he's going to die at 19. in a in a dirt bike accident. He's going. to die of a pill overdose at 26." But. now you see them like old enough as to. where that it's hard for them to get out. of a couch, and you're just like, "I. give up trying to figure this out.". >> Yeah. That is prime time. >> get really skinny. Their legs almost. atrophy, and and they're wearing the.

ball shorts, so it's just like these. little. >> [laughter]. >> skinny little. >> You never catch him lifting legs. >> purple sausages going into Jordan the. perc habit, they'll lift legs cuz. they're sponsored by Percocet. They'll. lift legs, brother. >> Crazy. And then they get like the big. belly and then oh, their glasses. prescription ends up like mine. What old. wiggers get really like they get Buzz. Lightyear eye prescriptions and they So. now they just got these googly eyes and. like uh. uh. >> It's funny their eyes are magnified but. their pupils are so constricted from. percs they probably look like the exact.

same [laughter] size. >> Yeah, any chance you can give me a ride. to infinity or beyond? >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, you don't see them anymore, man. I. don't I don't like um. or have they gone just mainstream? I'm. thinking like J's Day. >> They stay inside. They don't They don't. get out as much after they stop like. going out, you know, searching for honey. dips, obviously. Yeah, they're both side. trees. >> You might We might have a starter. outreach program called peels on wheels. Peels on wheels. [laughter] He's trying. He's dropped them percs. Peels on wheels.

>> [laughter]. >> They get really into like complicated. like uh like hacked fire stick setups, too. They have the nastiest [laughter] fire. stick setups when you go over to their. uh duplex apartment. >> Dude, a hacked fire stick is like a. [ __ ] wigger Rubik's Cube. >> [laughter]. >> Is it true that there's a signal for the. fire stick that gets like sent out and. like it erases a fire like if you buy. one today and like a month from now. something like gets sent through the. network that scrambles your fire stick? >> is a wigger screaming to his girlfriend, "You know I got demon crystal?".

>> [laughter]. >> Cuz I've heard that before that the fire. sticks like they only last they only. last a while. >> I don't I've I've never dabbled, dude. I've I've been gainfully employed most. of my life. >> Damn, they get doused. They get doused. I think they get I think they get. extinguished. >> to get doused. >> I had an FS in my house in Philly for a. little bit. >> Yeah. >> Dude, I I Another thing, too, is like. >> Hacked or straight? >> It was apparently like anything on it. So it was it was like it was a hacked. stick. And uh it was just a pain in the ass to. navigate. >> Oh, they love doing it. They love They.

love going through 14 menus to get to. like a bad UFC stream. >> [laughter]. >> Like we would go to watch a movie, we'd. be like, "Fuck yeah, we got this movie.". And it would be in French. You'd be. like, "Fuck.". >> Yeah. You go back, and the next one is. like. >> cam. >> [laughter]. >> Producers cut. There's like every shot. just on like the tile screen. It was. Yeah, that was I was like, "Dude, I. remember that that you know, my wife has. always loved to save money. So, that was. one I had to be like, "Dude, can we Can. I just get HBO, please? This is This is. getting ridiculous.". >> Did you give it like a burial at sea or.

anything? >> No, I I wanted it out. I wanted to get. rid of this thing. She It was just She. was like so stoked on it. And I was. like, "Bro, I'll get us HBO's $30 a. month. What the [ __ ] are we doing?" This. wasn't that long ago. This was like when we lived in Philly, like right before we moved. >> Principal of the thing, dude. She hates. She hates all these mergers and how all. of your your information and media is. being funneled through, you know, a very. slim hole. >> [laughter]. >> I am getting horny.

>> I'm getting bricked up from the nicotine. overdose. [laughter]. >> This episode is brought to you by. PrizePicks. The playoff push is heating. up, and tournament hoops are here. And. there's no better way to cash in. if you're right on the high-flying hoops. action than PrizePicks, where it always. feels good to be right. Every bucket, every dime, and every win means more. when you're playing on PrizePicks. Discuss my favorite picks for March. Madness. Let me think about that. What do you got? Let me turn the. question to you guys. Nate, are you.

watching uh college basketball? Let me see. What do you want to you just. just. name a team. How about How you How's Duke looking? >> I would definitely Duke Duke's always a. safe pick. >> Yeah. >> I like Duke. >> Well, hold on. We're talking about. picks. >> Picks. Picks. I mean, I'll pick. [laughter] Duke. >> Talking about action, what are you. talking about? With Duke Let's say Duke. and I don't know, maybe you could. Michigan. Oh, yeah, there we go. Those. are my two top teams. Thank you, Nate. >> [laughter].

>> Shoot your shot for March Madness on. PrizePicks. Just pick more or less on. two to six player stat projections. If. you get your picks right, you could cash. in. And PrizePicks is now giving you $50. in lineups when you sign up and play. your first $5. PrizePicks makes every. dunk, every dime, and every board that. much more exciting. So, join millions of. users and sign up for America's number. one sports picks app. Download the PrizePicks app today and. use code Drench to get $50 in lineups. after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code Drench to get $50 in lineups. after you play your first $5 lineup.

PrizePicks, it's good to be right. We were talking on the way up about like. um I don't know how we got on the. subject of just old old like network TV. and how they're still just like pumping. millions of dollars when it's like, "Bros, it's over, man. Like. nobody's. Nobody's tuning in to [ __ ] like. Fox.". >> Yeah, it's a. >> When's the last Fox series you watched. and like finished it all the way. through? >> Um Grounded for Life. >> How long ago was that? >> Probably 30 years ago.

>> [laughter]. >> Yeah, it's it's insane. They still just. like [ __ ] put the bread out. >> money laundering at this point. >> so? >> Yeah, I think they generate ad revenue. because they're all of the channels are. being played and like every waiting room. everywhere has like five TVs now and. that's where all of your ratings are. getting I mean, I can't imagine. >> That No, that makes sense cuz that my my. theory is that the exacts are also just. aged boomers cuz it's Aged boomers have. the Comcast still. Although, I think my. parents have finally taken off the. Comcast stack.

>> the cord. >> Finally. And I could be wrong. They. still might have Like dude, their bill. was like $470 a month for cable and. internet. And I was like, "What the [ __ ]. are you guys doing?" But I think the. exacts [clears throat] have the same. brain where they're just like. "We got to This time we double down.". They're probably just paying like Jake. Gyllenhaal $900 million. >> And they still have another. >> cowboy. It's just cowboy shows. It's. modern cowboy shows. Every network has. ever modern cowboy show. >> Yeah, you watch Land Man? Are you Land. Man guy? >> Haven't seen it. Dude, I I saw a little. bit of Yellowstone. >> Man? >> Is it good?

>> No. >> I heard it's bad. >> [laughter]. >> It's Billy Bob Thornton being kind of. pissed off. >> Taylor Sheridan [snorts] rules though. >> Is that a guy or a lady? >> He's the guy who created it. >> Oh, okay. >> Yeah, he created uh Mystic River, I. think. Uh no, not Mystic River. White. something. >> Dude, I was talking to someone recently. who was trying to tell me westerns are. dead. I'm like, no they're not. They're. the biggest genre. Yeah, it's the modern. western. >> Yellowstone, uh King of Tulsa, and Land Man now. They're all going for the It's either. gay hockey or now modern western. [laughter] That's where we're at right. now. Yeah, you're either a fan of one.

one or the other. >> Dude, gay hockey is like ruining my. sheets. Like my wife is heavy in the [ __ ] gay. hockey, right? >> The gay hockey? >> Yeah. >> Have you seen the show? >> No, I just know it's it's books. >> He goes, "WHAT SHOW?". >> [laughter]. >> NO, THERE'S A SHOW called Heated. Rivalry. >> Oh yeah, that that Is that a Netflix. thing? >> Yeah, I think so. >> Dude, the books are [ __ ] They've been. heavy for a while. And like I remember. going to the bookstore and just seeing. like, dude what the [ __ ] is two guys. kissing in the penalty box for? And then it was just like, oh you find.

out like there's this whole. subgenre of gay hockey guys that chicks. are getting squishy for. >> my question. I And again, I feel like. girls are significantly lagging guys in. this regard. Where they're just getting. into like dirty books. >> Mhm. >> Like I feel like cuz like if you were if. you went to a porn shop. >> first thing we did with movable type. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> And they they got into it after Kindles. >> 2026. >> You think there's old [ __ ] leaving like. bags full of gay hockey erotica in the. woods now? >> They could. >> [laughter]. >> There could be. Well, it's also like if. you went to a porn shop back in the 90s.

and you were trying to buy porn, there'd. be like guys in the aisles trying to. blow you. >> Yeah. >> So, I wonder if you can catch chicks in. the Barnes & Noble's [ __ ] like you. pop out a book and there's a lady on the. other aisle. You stick your finger [laughter] through. like. Hit the Starbucks cafe. Yeah, cuz I. think girls are like hanging around CD. bookstores. You have to redesign the. glory hole by the way for women. Yeah. What would you I mean you would. need some sort of vacuum lock. What would you do? >> It would be a seat. It would have to be. like a seat.

>> No, what if the perfect anus had a. cutaway right now? What would that look like? >> Yeah, I think you're right. It would. just be a toilet but there's just a face. under the toilet and you would the lady. would sit down. >> uh kissing like the the Blarney Stone. You'd have to have like a mummy tomb. that you. >> [laughter]. >> No, we're we're figuring out for them. Let them figure it out for themselves. >> Queen Sluton Common. >> [laughter]. >> But yeah, the erot. >> Erotic lit is [ __ ] is crazy. Oh, mommy.

>> [laughter]. >> The mommy returns. >> What? >> Erotic lit? Yeah, I could easily. >> It's stuff like when you when you could. tell like like I'll go on Literotica. sometimes and like I'll pick out like. like a highly rated story and just think. to myself, dude how are. >> Who's giving these [ __ ] stories? >> A website or. >> a place. >> It's a it's a website. >> Where you can like pick all these. different subgenres and they're all like. regular people submitted. And it's like. you could pick it by author or by. subgenre. >> Some have audio I've heard. So, it's. pretty cool.

>> [laughter]. >> Wait, you're listening to user-made. audio erotica ebooks? >> Sure. Or is that if some of some of them. are just audio? It's not even a story. They're so it's pretty much. It's pretty much a podcast. >> [laughter]. >> It's a podcast. >> I'm just a lady going. >> Is this a podcast? >> Is this a podcast? >> Yeah, the erotic lit I talked about this. for a while. I I don't mind a racy story. myself. I could I could get into erotic.

literature. I don't mind and it's it. feels cleaner, too. >> It's refined. >> It is refined. You know how all those. images bounce in your head? You just. read the story, get charged up. >> And there there's ones where you could. like you could it's like a Mad Libs. booklet for [ __ ]. >> What? >> Like you can create your own story. >> No, they have a choose your own. adventure? >> Yeah. It's not on Literotica, but it's a. Patreon site. >> miss this? >> Yeah, five bucks a month will get you. anything you want, man. >> [laughter]. >> Hold up, so they have choose your own. adventures? >> Oh, dude, I'm putting all my words. >> Wait, are you just clicking that ad on. porn that's like. >> [laughter]. >> make your own lady? >> Stop jacking off alone.

>> I'm not. Who says I am? >> There's horny [ __ ] in Wait, that's my. town. >> [laughter]. >> Wow. >> It is funny. Imagine if that's like a. legit thing and there's a door-to-door. guy be like, "Excuse me, ma'am, are you. a horny slut?". >> [laughter]. >> Whore-dash? >> [ __ ] census. >> Dude. I watched You guys watch Soft White. Underbelly? >> Yeah. >> I love that channel. I they just put up. a one recently about a younger guy who. it the title's just like.

It's something like I had the internet. at a young age. Like I had too much. internet at a young age and uh. I was listening to it earlier today and. you know, he's like, "No, no, dad was. gone and then he was just working all. the time. And uh one of my friends uh I. guess it started he went on a gay.com. and I was like. >> [laughter]. >> You got turned out on gay.com? And he. just never recovered. Dude, gay.com. I. didn't Didn't even know. >> Yeah. >> I'll be honest, I'm not trying to act. flex like I'm the straightest guy in the. world, but. >> Gay.com never even thought, [laughter]. bro. It's like thought dude. It's like a.

gay.com. >> a Ghostbusters trap. They'll [ __ ]. suck [laughter] you right in, man. >> Dude, gay.com. >> killing me. >> And he's just like, "Yeah, they I think. he brought it up almost as like a lemon. party type joke." And the kid was like, "Yo, what the [ __ ] is up with this?". [laughter]. He was young. >> And then he started doing this [ __ ]. >> Uh like early teens, probably like 14. >> That's not that young. That's like 30. gay years. >> True, true, you're right. I again I I. don't want to I like I'm mixing up the. ages. He might Maybe he was 12 or 11. during gay.com cuz he does jump around a.

lot. You know, it's hard to put a a real. uh. It's hard to put a finger on it. >> It sounds like he probably had a more. serious problem. He's trying to pin it. on gay.com when he was 13 years old. >> I Yeah, I mean again, we've all seen. Lemon Party, but I I I think he was just. like. >> Well, you know what [ __ ] him up? gay.com led him to men chat. >> Uh. >> Men chat is where guys get together to. chat. Mostly gay guys asking young boys. for videos of them jerking off. So, he. started supplying the bros with the with. the goods or I should say the bads. >> [laughter]. >> He's He's supplying He's starting.

supplying the bros with the very bads. >> a creator at a young age. >> a creator. So, he took control of his. own content. >> [laughter]. >> But then the guy was like, "Oh, so he. was like did this for money?" He was. like, "Yeah, well, I didn't really have. like a bank account, so like I just did. it." He was just loving the game at. first. Just kind of like I guess. thriving off the buzz. And uh yeah, it was I didn't watch the. whole thing, but I was like, "Dude, getting sucked into gay.com in like I. mean the gay.com men chat pipeline.". And but the thing is he lived in this. >> I I I All right, I will go back and. watch this entire thing. I highly doubt.

the headline should be I got the. internet at a young age. There's no way. that's what went wrong. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, I. >> I don't know cuz everything else is. pretty like. >> Let's go back to a younger age and maybe. there was something there, you know? >> Maybe. >> Maybe there was some kind of serious. disappointment or harm when you were. much younger that. >> See, the guy The guy's a good. interviewer and he was asking him about. that and it was like and he was just a. bored kid and his parents were too busy. But the the I thought it to me this is. this was a thing that really kind of. ticked me. >> to be that bored. I've I'm a bored bro.

It's like you ever hear of JRPGs, dude? Like the rest of us? >> [laughter]. >> You guys were bored nerds. Did any of. you ever think there's a chance like I'm. so bored I'm going to I'm going to throw. meat at the old guys? Not once. Yeah, I. was so bored I would wrestle my uncle. >> [laughter]. >> Nothing to do, man. >> This guy's full of [ __ ] dude. >> Wrestling, man, is the oldest trick in. the book. >> But yeah, I it's you know, again, it was. like I was I had questions as well. I. had questions for sure. [laughter]. Like dude, getting turned out by gay.com.

It makes me laugh so [ __ ] hard. [laughter] It is like genuinely funny. >> Yeah, what do they have on the homepage, man? >> I don't even want to look, dude. It's I. >> I don't even want to imagine it, man. >> Dude, I I am worried I'll fall in face. forward. >> [laughter]. >> But the problem was here's the thing, man. The kid's out doing his thing, obviously, and uh but he would split. time between living in Mexico and the. States. And then when he would go to. Mexico, it was just couldn't do gay [ __ ]. at all. So, he'd have to detox from gay action. in Mexico cuz I guess there wasn't a ton.

of gay action. It's probably really. risky. Going [ __ ]. >> until you can get back to the land of. the free. >> True. >> Land of the freaks. >> [laughter]. >> But yeah, he uh yeah, >> the gaped. >> Home of the gaped. He would go to Mexico and just have to. completely just [ __ ] detox out cuz. there wasn't gay action going on. I. mean, I'm sure you can get it if you. want in Mexico, but I think you have to. be like high society. to do gay action in Mexico. I I'm just. guessing. >> I'm saving up to be gay in Mexico. >> [laughter]. >> I'm saving my allowance.

>> You'd have to do like you'd have to get. into like highly acclaimed avant-garde. theater. Yeah. And then you could. probably score some gay action. >> There's specific places like you got to. go to taking it in the Cancun. Right there. >> [laughter]. >> He's straight facing them. >> Something like that. >> [laughter]. >> But yeah, that was uh. that was something I was just kind of. just enjoying. >> Uncle Pogo. >> The opening the Uncle Pogo. >> [laughter]. >> The one thing that uh.

the way they start it, I mean, let me. just the the intro to it. God damn, where's my phone? The intro, this is how. [ __ ] crazy and again, I'm you know, look, we all have our demons. I'm not. making fun of this poor guy, but the the. way they intro it is like, bro, come on, dude. >> I remember having this recurring fantasy. that I would walk to the basketball. court at the park and. the construction workers would. you know, pull me into the bushes and.

rape me. >> [snorts]. >> And I would fantasize that I was the guy. getting dunked on and his balls would. get stuck on my head. >> [laughter]. >> I I shouldn't have played that. That's. too mean. >> How the heck did you pull that up so. fast? >> I was watching it, dude. >> Dude, it's his [ __ ] home screen, man. >> Some of us are producers and podcasters, bro. >> Sorry. [laughter] Sorry. Sorry. No No. joke. >> That intro though was like, "What the. fuck?". >> So, they probably. >> What is. >> Yeah, it's probably the internet. >> I think it was [clears throat] the. internet guy. Gay.com, dude. Beware. All.

those youngsters out there, look, live. your life, but words. >> You go to one bad website and now you. want the construction workers to rape. you. >> Well, he's It was It was like a worry. That's a legit fear. You walk by You. ever walk past a construction site and. be like, >> Wait, did he say it was a fear or a. fantasy? >> I think a fantasy. >> He said fantasy, bro. >> Okay, well, look, okay. Fair enough. [laughter]. >> Wait, it was a basketball court by a. construction site is what he said? >> I believe so. >> All right, yeah, it sounds like a. [ __ ] choose your I mean, pick your. poison. >> Yeah.

>> [laughter]. >> That's how the And 1 Mixtape Tour ended. >> Anyway, [snorts] I feel bad making fun. of I'm not making Well, I'm making fun. of the kid, but. it's just funny. >> It's undeniably funny to get sucked into. Gay.com. >> so easy to get sucked at that age. >> You have no idea. >> I It's Dude, it's insane. >> Mhm. >> It must be you could I mean, world's. your oyster. >> Tapes hit me hard at that time, VHS. >> Yeah. >> Tapes would hit me hard. I didn't have. internet yet, so I had an aunt who a a. softcore porn from the Playboy catalog. She bought me a movie called Chameleon.

>> Another satisfied customer of Gay.com. [laughter]. >> You're in. Yeah, she let me pick one one movie from. the Playboy catalog and I picked. Chameleon with Tori Welles. >> And how old were you? >> 12. >> What was Were you Have you Have you like. I mean, how good of a boy are we. talking? How good have you been? [laughter]. >> Dude, I I was I was A, man. >> Your listening chart must have been off. the [ __ ]. >> Dude, no no trouble, uh little chubby, never said a peep, I really kept to. myself. And my aunt was just like one.

day she just like picked something out. of this catalog. >> I look Okay, how do you What is your. thoughts on that? >> She's a criminal. >> Okay, there you go. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, but she also left me 5 Gs when she. died, so Aunt Patsy, if you're. listening, thank you for the movie and. thank you for the 5 Gs. >> She's a criminal. >> She's a She. Yeah, she's a. I don't know what a moral gold. >> Yeah, yeah, cuz I have thoughts on being. like, you know, again, you're talking. old school. I'm an old school guy. >> [laughter]. >> Is that like the subtle hookup to be. like, I'm going to get this kid a.

softcore? But then again, it's like, oh. man, when you say it like that, you go. why? >> Dude, it's tough cuz like that's that's. summer that I got it like I was being. occupied. Like I had Sega Genesis and I. was playing PGA Tour 3. >> So you had [ __ ] to do. >> I Yeah, I My summer was locked down. already, but then she's like, pick. something out of this catalog. And. Chameleon looked enticing cuz Tori. Welles is beautiful. And I was like, great, I'll take this. And then like. midway through the summer, the tape came. and the door had a lock on it and it was. one of those TV VCR combos and I slid it. in and it was just like.

>> Yeah, that's. >> It was like one X, so there was no. penetration, but I knew what was. happening. >> Can I get the yo, bro? I mean, I got to give it to you, fantastic pick. >> Yeah. >> So, what year was this? >> Shh, probably 1993-ish. >> Yeah, that's wild. How did it come in. the mail? Like how did. >> Giant box, came in the mail, knew. exactly what it was when it arrived at. Aunt Patsy's. >> Geez. Okay, what you got? >> Did you have to watch it alone? You. didn't have to watch it with her or. anything? >> No, I didn't have to watch it with her, although a couple times my cousin and I.

my cousin Chris and I watched porn. together. >> That's you sharing the wealth, obviously. >> so, too, yeah. Cool guy. >> Watching porn together, that was I saw a. lot of people, a lot of folks doing. that. >> He would just make a joke every now and. again. >> He would? >> We would, just uh kind of lighten in. mood. >> No, that was that was a big thing. I I. bet a lot of young bros were watching. porns. Like we would get we had Spanish. Fly 14. >> Nice. >> through our neighborhood and we just. like. It It was just everyone had that. >> a system for it? Like who got who got it. when? >> Older brothers dominated the goods.

>> Yeah. >> And you know, I was I was like the guys. >> scraps. >> I was like the guys in Mad Max. The tape. had been like worn thin. They were like, "Here you go, [ __ ] loser.". >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, we had the Spanish Fly for a. while. We They They would always get. caught. We would always get busted. We. were like the Taliban with rockets. Every time we got. >> [laughter]. >> caught for being with one little rocket, dude, we would get busted immediately. Somebody would get busted. Cuz it was it. was the tape It was the VCR. >> We're putting an end [laughter] to the. getting [ __ ] program. They cannot have.

[ __ ] We have to stop them now. >> [laughter]. >> Cuz it was always that VCR, right? Is. that Spanish Fly? Yo, bro, you're giving. me flashbacks. >> Wow. That's a great one. >> Flashbacks. >> [laughter]. >> That was the Yeah, but you had to like. It was the VCR. So like the you saw the. headlights hitting that front window, you'd be like, Hit it. [ __ ] like. >> Yeah, every VCR sounded like Nick Nolte. getting out of bed. >> [laughter].

>> Then your parents come home, you just be. sitting there like four people on a. couch, no TV on, you're just like. >> [laughter]. >> sweating. >> Oh, hey guys, how was dinner? >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, it was mad. That I That was so. [ __ ] nerve-wracking. >> Yeah, I remember we didn't we didn't. have porno, but you remember a PBS. series called Nova? >> Mhm. >> Well, they did they did one with It was. a lady giving birth and like it was. full-on [ __ ] shot, baby crowning. And. like we were all just sitting there like.

this, like the situation room when they. got Bin Laden. >> [laughter]. >> So, what's the policy now in terms of. like internet porn? Do you have to ever. give your kids the talk or you're just. kind of like. >> No, someone on Roblox is going to do it. for you. You think so? I think that's a huge issue right now. >> Roblox is a big issue. I watched another. software underbelly about that. >> I was molested on Roblox or something. >> No, it [laughter] was it was like an it. was like tied to this is this is a huge. it's a giant issue. It was it's it was. was tied to someone talking about like. Epstein. It was actually it was legit.

Epstein survivor. >> So what's Roblox like pedo Minecraft? >> Yes, actually. >> game rules for kids, right? >> Uh. >> I heard it's fun. >> It's It's ass. >> It's ass? >> It's ass. Every game in Roblox there's a. better real game out there. That I would prefer to pay for. >> Yeah. >> But they go on Roblox and it's free and. then all the [ __ ] kids from school. are playing and being [ __ ] you know, >> Groomed and [ __ ]. >> Groomed. >> Tons of pedophiles on Roblox apparently. >> Dude, I'm I'm in the. >> Allegedly I well no, I don't know.

>> Are you going to get in trouble for. saying. >> No, there's there's [ __ ] you can't. get in trouble. Roblox has beef with. that. Clean up the goddamn pedophiles. off your game, dude. >> [ __ ] you guys. >> kind of protecting the pedophiles and. yeah, there's guys that are taking it. upon themselves to weed out the. pedophiles. >> What are they paying for a lot of skins. or something? >> [laughter]. >> These guys are [ __ ] paying a lot of. money. >> I paused my childhood for this. >> [laughter]. >> Wait, so what's. >> my innocence to be. >> What's up with Roblox? What are they. doing to the pedophiles?

>> They're. like the guys that are trying to like. root them out and like trap them and. stuff in game are getting permanently. suspended and [ __ ] like that and the. pedophiles are just being kind of let. off with like a 30-day ban or something. like that. Yeah. >> What the [ __ ] why are. >> I might be misremembering and I haven't. totally done a deep dive, but I think. that's just of what's going on. So. allegedly. >> Is it guys like hot talking kids or they. like is a character molesting other. kids? >> a guy that showed up at a kid's house. >> Woah. >> Yeah, no, I think they're well the yeah, I think they're just trying to like. Uh chat them up kind of get like what's.

the situation like and if they yeah, if. they find like not a lot of parental. stuff, it's like let's go. That's how. those [ __ ] bastards work. This. episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Recently, I've been When do I feel the. most amount of pressure? At work, on stage, or when I'm lying on. my belly. >> [laughter]. >> I know what it's like to feel. stress and burnout. And what's helped me. during those times? Lying on my belly. >> [laughter].

>> It's not healthy to feel so much. pressure all the time, so it's important. to take a moment for you. And if you're. looking for a healthy way to do that, try therapy with BetterHelp. No joke, therapy can help you create balance, or. the very least, it can help you develop. better coping skills for when you do. feel stressed and overworked. But I get it, when you're overwhelmed by. life, the last thing you want to do is. spend hours trying to find a therapist, or to make time to visit at an office. That's where BetterHelp comes in. It. makes scheduling and attending.

appointments a breeze, because. everything, even your meeting with your. therapist, is done online. And with an average rating of 4.9 stars. out of five, I'd say people find it. extremely useful. Prioritize your. well-being with BetterHelp. Visit. betterhelp.com/mssb. to get 10% off your first month. That's. BetterHelp, h e l p dot com slash mssb. Guys, please, please come out this. weekend, this Friday, 3:13, that's March. 13th, 2026. I'll be at The Factory in.

St. Louis, Missouri. It's going to be a. good time. Um, also, on Saturday, I'll be at Clowes. Memorial Hall in Indianapolis, Indiana. Uh, sales are looking decent for both of. those, but we could use a little week of. push, if you know what I'm saying. So, again, I'll be in Indianapolis on. Saturday, St. Louis, the Lou, on Friday. Please come out. Bye. >> Also, me and Nate Nate Marshall, this is. me, Sean Gardini, and me and Nate. Marshall will be in Salt Lake City on.

March 27th and 28th. We'll also all be. in Houston at the Riot Festival at the. Riot in Houston in the beginning of. April. So, please come out to that. I'm. sorry, Lamar. April 3rd, 4th, and 5th are those dates. Ultimum Noctis, April 2nd. 7th and uh. And I'll be in Cincinnati and. Springfield, Tulsa, and OKC. Please come. if you can. Thank you very much.

>> Goodbye. >> I'm I'm like right now my algorithm is. been cuz I watched that one I watched. and now it's like nothing but that kind. of [ __ ] of like child groomers and how. prevalent they are. >> You got to pull yourself out of there. >> Dude, it's every night I lie like. fantasize about like beating pedophiles. with baseball bats and like. shooting them and stuff cuz I now I'm. like really cuz I like. >> That's a great screensaver for your. brain, by the way. >> [laughter]. >> That's a great Roku city to just have. playing in the background of your mind. at all times. >> [laughter]. >> It gets me too charged. So, I wake up. I. get woke up in the middle of the night,

put my kid back to bed, and I go. So, what the [ __ ] would I do if I saw a. pedophile? And I just start I get my. heart my beats per minute my heart are. like 130. I'm just laying there like. >> Do you sleep in pedophile hunter. pajamas? >> [laughter]. >> I should. It's like you know pedophiles. and now I'm like obsessed with sleeper. cells from like terrorism stuff. So, I'm. like okay, like if I'm in this play I'm. in a kids play place, guy comes in and I. I just game plan. Like I'm like between. that and the Western Lonesome Dove I'm. reading, I'm so I've never been closer.

to getting like tactical training with. weapons cuz I I'm. I want to become like a crack shot who. can also cuz in the book dude, you ever. read have either of you ever read ever. read Lonesome Dove? >> [clears throat]. >> I mean, I would immediately start. It's. might be the best my opinion one of the. best novels of all time. Just about like two guys who are old um. rank Texas Rangers who had to go and. like, you know, fight Indians like bad. guys and [ __ ] And uh so, they're like. kind of retired, but now the one guy's. like, "We should get" They like steal a.

bunch of cattle from this guy in Mexico. and they got to just drive a herd. It's. about I would say about a thousand head. >> Hey man, you ever think about playing. gay hockey? >> [laughter]. >> Dude, they got to get them from Texas. all the way to Montani. And then they. just encounter all these people on the. plains, but like when they encounter. dudes that like can't shoot people or. like don't know how to like aren't like. weapons trained, they're they're just. kind of like, "Bro.". Like they can't either like get the [ __ ]. away from me. I'm like, "I can't. I got. to be weapons trained." There's touches. of that in uh The Dark Tower, the.

gunslinger. >> Really? >> Yeah, Roland's like the best. He's. probably even a better gunslinger than. the Lonesome Dove guys. >> Yeah, not Oh, you're talking Augustus. McCrae? I I highly doubt that. >> Before I went to bed last night, he. literally shot like nine people. [ __ ]. blew duck out of a son of a [ __ ]. >> You You let me gunslinger. You were the. first friend that ever went to me. >> in the afternoon, he's the best shot. ever. He's way better than the Lonesome. >> That's. >> cowboys. >> Stephen King fantasy stuff. >> [laughter]. >> Although I heard that series is sick. >> I got to I got to read that. >> Well, the the the like the pecking order. in the Wild West is like farmers are.

kind of like You're kind of a joke. If. you're like you're a hard worker, the. cowboy respects the work ethic of the. farmer, but you're a soft target. You're an easy easy target most likely. And there's also a thing with cowboys. where like if you ask a cowboy to get. off his horse and do a task, he's going. to get kind of miffed. It's beneath [clears throat] a cowboy to. get off his horse. If you're like, "Hey, get off my horse and like pull these. pigs out of the mud." He's going to. he'll. He might want a problem with you. But. then there's cow And then so the. cowboy's above the farmer, but then with. amongst cowboys, it's like, "Have you. ever seen any battle?" You know, like. there's all that other stuff. How good.

are you at playing cards? So then there's like kind of cowboys, good cowboys, or they're kind of [ __ ]. cowboys, and there's like badass. cowboys, but then they're bordering into. renegade. Renegade [clears throat] is. like. pretty much end all, be all. >> Dude, it's tough when pigs get stuck in. the mud cuz most of them are front. squeal drive. >> [laughter]. >> You like, "If you leave.". >> I call them shoats now. I don't even. call them pigs anymore. >> [laughter]. >> Showboats. That's one independent showboat right. there. Lonesome Dove, man. I man, I I could.

talk about it for an hour and a half. >> It's nice to crack into a good book. where you get lost in the fantasy of. >> 800 pages, dude. >> Oh my god. >> I'm so sad cuz I'm on like I'm 600 pages. into this book and the thought of it. ending I'm like. [ __ ] Then I It turns out So, the guy who wrote Lonesome Dove, I think. his name's Larry McMurtry Murtry or. something. Murtry. Bro, guess what else. what other western he wrote co-wrote by. the way? >> Um nice. >> What do you think? You got a guess? >> 3:10 to Yuma? Um what's another western?

>> Tombstone? >> Brokeback Mountain. >> Wow. >> No, he literally co-wrote Brokeback. Mountain. But I tell myself. >> Guy or a lady? Who's the co-writer? >> Lady. Lady, I I tell myself the lady. handled the gay love story. He did all. the good cowboy [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> Cuz he's I'm like this guy's my. favorite. I looked up his other books. and I went. >> You think you're going to hide Brokeback. in the inside of Lonesome Dove when. you're finished with it? >> I mean Lonesome Dove's so good I might. give Brokeback a run for its money, honestly. But it's I think he handled. all the cowboy details. I think there. was a lady who cooked up a sick and.

twisted plot. >> [laughter]. >> And she goes, "I need a real cowboy to. get in here and nice this thing up.". She's like, "Oh, Larry.". To Lonesome Dove? >> Yeah, by the end of that journey. you're ready for them. >> I mean. >> You're not so lonesome anymore when you. know there's two of us. >> I Here's the thing though, man. I mean I. think it happened out on the range more. than people care to admit, man. I mean. >> You're you're talking about you're on. the you're on the plains. >> Sunsets. >> Yeah, you're out out on the plains, man. There's not a tree in sight. It's just.

grass as far as you can see. >> Trusting each other with your lives. >> Exactly. >> Yeah, who's your horse going to tell? >> They would also they would get naked if. like the ford fording rivers was like a. huge that was one thing cowboys would be. afraid of cuz it's like these dudes. can't like not swim. >> Being covered head to toe in denim. doesn't help when you're neck deep in. the Mississippi River. >> you have a. >> thing wrapped a leather strap wrapped. around your wrist so you don't lose the. horse. >> And then the other part is just a horse. biting it to hold on to it. >> Yeah, I don't know. Horses can swim, too. It's surprising. I I just didn't. know they can swim. Yeah, a horse can.

swim. Crazy. But yeah, they uh but they would like. get naked, too. They'd all get naked. together cuz it's like you only have so. many dry clothes. So you wrap up your. clothes cuz they you know, if they got. like wet from a rainstorm, you had one. other change of clothes. >> You think fat cowboys wear a shirt in. the river? >> [laughter]. >> I think it was impossible. I don't think. there were fat cowboys. I think there's just fat cats. If you. were If you were fat then, someone would. be like, "Here, do you just want to own. this railroad company?". >> You'd be like a banker or something. >> Yeah, you'd have to be a big fat banker.

But yeah, Lonesome Dove. Can't I It's I. swear to god, dude. It's I It's like. every night when I I get to hit the. sheets and read a chapter of Lonesome. Dove, I'm like, >> Are you going to bed earlier and earlier. just to again? >> Yeah, I mean it's it's as soon as I can. get there. As soon as everything's done, I'm right in bed. Right in bed. I only pause the story if. I'm going to get some [ __ ]. [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> I had to pause I had to pause the Dove. last night. It was. I'm getting to the age where like when. you get the real cuz you know, when. you're like 19, 20, maybe even early.

20s, man, you guys, you know, >> Dude, your girl's like, "Is that a copy. of Lonesome Dove on my lower back?". >> [laughter]. >> I'm getting to the age too where it's. like, you know, I I always took like a. 100% 110% boner for granted. >> Like I know, man. >> Every time, cash money. >> Yeah. >> I bro, >> [laughter]. >> last night I had a 110%er and I you just. enjoy it so much. You're just like, "Let's [ __ ] go." You just feel. awesome. >> You taking beetroot? >> Hm? Uh I've been running a lot. >> Okay.

>> So yeah, I've been doing a lot of. sprints, too. So like when you when you. do sprints, like you're you you produce. a lot of growth hormone and it like, you. know, when you lift weights, your. muscles grow. When you do a lot of high. like intensive cardio, your whole. circulatory system, the growth hormones. makes your veins like wider and more. expansive, so you just you just get. blood rushing. So, yeah, if anyone out. there is. slapping the old fish around the market, >> [laughter]. >> you got to you got to you got to become. a preacher to start sprinting for your. life, dude. Just imagine at the 100-m.

mark, it's just your hard boner. >> [laughter]. >> And you just. >> Now, how long do you got to be training. to like get that kind of boner? >> Uh dude, I think it's like honestly, it's pretty quick, honestly. I I I uh. I don't know, cuz it's like, you know, there's a lot of other factors, obviously. You know, with boners are. complicated beasts, but uh. You you you you you can't think about. them. That's the one thing. You can't As. soon as you like you're like, "Am I all. the way" it's just it's no hitter. >> Like the second you mention it, it's. gone. >> It's gone, dude. So, that's been a It's. been fun. For me, it's a fun game. I.

always like a nice challenge. Now, uh I. I've I've always been said. I've always. been like, "Nah, nah, I've always been. able to talk about it." I'm like, "Nah, me, bro. I get bricked up 24/7, bro.". >> I got to try it cuz like I think my my. default boners are like 80, and it's. like you think back to all the boners. you took for granted like the sixth. grade ones when you're reading Diary of. Anne Frank. Just. rock hard, just bursting through your. [ __ ] khakis. And you're just like, "Yeah, this will. be for the rest of my life.". >> [laughter]. >> I mean, either.

is is either one better? >> [laughter]. >> They mention that in the sequel, Sean. That's how they caught him. >> [laughter]. >> He was throwing down on the. >> toilet. >> [laughter]. >> I support your journey. >> Thanks, man. >> No, this is a complete no judgment zone. Yeah. I I did This is a serious question. Was. there racy stuff in Anne Frank? Cuz I. almost vaguely remember dudes getting. kind of bricked up reading.

>> Well, I think she was in love with her. cousin, so it's like being that like. step stuff is popular now. I think if If. read that now, you might look at it from. a different perspective and get a little. little hot in the pants. A little hot in the stripe pajamas if. you will. >> grade boy. That's not that crazy to say. >> Mhm. >> You know, I got charged up off of. anything when I was in sixth grade, honestly. >> You were just reading a girl's name. >> That's what gets started. >> Reading a girl's diary. I was like. >> Oh, yeah. [ __ ] dude. >> No way. >> Honestly, it's like shameful that we. were all reading this poor girl's diary. >> Yeah, it's kind of weird, honestly. >> I know. And then it was all made up.

>> [laughter]. >> That's the worst part. >> Oh, I thought we were joking around. >> boners, dude. >> I thought we were having a fun. [laughter] time. >> We're having a serious conversation. about boners. >> But we can have a little joke here and. there. >> All right. Welcome to Daniel Sloss here. to the podcast. >> Dude, I support your joke as well. >> Thank you. >> I support everyone right now. >> [laughter]. [snorts]. >> Damn, they should make a. >> You're hiding jokes in your podcast?

>> [laughter]. >> They should make a joke like a pride. joke flag. You know what I'm talking about? It's. not like the rainbow flag that's like. trans, gay, lesbians, black people for. whatever reason. >> [laughter]. >> I'm so sorry they made you guys all gay. That's. >> It's like if you're gay, fine. But like. if you can't just be gay and be like and. we call black people too. It's like. >> [laughter]. >> Leave them the hell out of this. Pinks, pastels, blues. And it's like black and brown.

The hell is that? >> Atlanta. >> What is the reason for that, by the way? It's such a weird I saw like you know, and again, whatever. [ __ ] do your. thing. But like I that was always a thing for. me. I was just kind of like why what. what does that represent? And I I'm. pretty sure it represents like being in. solidarity with black and brown people. >> Nice. >> So like that's nothing to do with sexual. preferences. >> Do you guys feel bolstered by uh gay. people joining your cause? >> Unless that could be. >> I don't even know. >> No. >> It's exactly what it is. >> No, I think Matt's onto something. >> It says here for uh it's specifically to.

represent and include LGBTQ plus people. that are BIPOC as well. >> Yeah, but what the [ __ ] So. >> It's only for BIPOC. >> gay. Like what you guys are gay is a. whole separate thing. >> So it's not a stripe. >> Black people be gay like this. >> [laughter]. >> Would you guys consider marching with. furries? >> [laughter]. [laughter]. >> Not out of like a political thing, just. for kink.

For kink. Not your thing? Yeah, okay. Fair enough. So the stripe, just to clarify, that's. what the stripe's for. It's not for like. BBC love and or anything. >> [laughter]. [gasps]. >> All right, anyway, that's uh. I was just curious about that. >> [laughter]. >> So funny throwing that on there like a. kid throwing a candy bar on the [ __ ]. the the [ __ ] belt at the supermarket. when his mom's not looking. >> [laughter]. >> I understood, yeah. Toss it up. I'm.

done. The I mean, I think personally, if if. you have a flag, totally fair, needs to. come with a national anthem or some sort. of song. There needs to be a gay. national anthem. I that's look. You think so? >> Unofficial ones, yeah. Like Pink Pony. Club is up there. >> Pink Pony Club? Damn, I [ __ ] love. that. I listen to that with my kids all. the time. That's a gay national anthem? >> Uh no, just maybe in my head. >> Yeah. Isn't that a lesbian stripper? >> Kehlani Scott's big. >> Okay. >> No Scrubs, Madonna.

>> Why isn't he there? You go, never mind. Never mind. >> Calling Mr. Vain. >> Lamar, what are you talking about, dude? That's definitely the gay national. anthem. >> [laughter]. >> Anytime, if you if you're dressed like a. construction worker and someone has any. other type of outfit, you get called the. Village People and people are, you know, It's the gay national anthem, for sure. >> [laughter]. >> This is how we do. >> [laughter].

>> No, what is it? Oh, really? What the hell? >> Could you sing it? Just a bar of it, maybe? >> Let every voice sing. Till earth and heaven. >> Sean, could you add like rattling chains. to the. >> Oh, jeez. Why do [laughter] you be so. [ __ ] nasty today? No. That was more about his timbre and and. the way he was singing. I'm sure it's. uh a higher register. >> We're on one today.

>> [laughter]. >> Man, what are you talking about? >> [laughter]. >> Well, well, well, well. So, what else. you guys up to? >> Uh you know me, I was pigging out in. that hotel room. >> What were you doing? Oh, yeah, that's. Oh, that's okay. That's where the whole. conversation came from. You were at a. hotel next to the airport and I got. secretly very jealous of you. >> [laughter]. >> You can really pig at a hotel next to an. airport. >> Yeah, bro, I'm not kidding when I say I. was four or five times a day.

They should cut The hotels next to the. airport should have a direct modem. connection that can go right into your. phone. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, at the end of the day, my phone's. like, "I'm tired, boss.". >> [laughter]. >> It's nice, man. I cranked the [ __ ]. tunes. I talked to my phone. >> That's awesome. >> Yeah. So, you were just You were just. set up. >> like a king, just chilling. >> Dude, it's I got such a nice hotel for. 85 bucks and I was just going ballistic. in that [ __ ] thing.

>> [laughter]. >> I was having I told you I was having. guests come up to record podcasts, too. So, it was like I was meeting guys in. the lobby, bringing them up into like a. like a [ __ ] vein. >> Was there a towel under the door? >> [laughter]. >> It probably felt like the rainforest in. there. >> [laughter]. >> Dude, it was so nice cuz there was no. like verification like it is in Texas. like back in Pennsylvania. It was the. wild man. >> Yeah, have you verif- age verified? >> I honestly It's funny you bring that up. This morning I did because one of my. favorite lady, Sadie Andrews, she was. putting out a new video today and I.

signed up for her premium service. Uh but I was kind of bummed because the. video she posted didn't come out until. Tim and I were on our way here. So I. >> Man, your aunt I hope your aunt burns in. hell, dude. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, I can't wait to dig into that. thing when I get home, man. >> You think this is more acceptable than. daddy vaping? >> [laughter]. >> I'm ready to have this conversation. This is better than daddy vaping. Daddy. gooning [laughter] is better than daddy.

vaping. Here's the thing. In privacy, yes. If you were to get. busted daddy gooning and then. >> [laughter]. >> you got to stop. >> You're vaping right in front of them. >> No, I don't. >> secretly. >> I hide it from them. Like a. >> That's different. >> pervert. Hold on, that's different. >> of a different color. >> That's good. I'm completely on your. side. Yeah, if you're If you're. privately vaping, that's your business. Also, just secretly vape. I have so many uncles that secretly. smoke cigarettes. >> from everyone in my life. >> Yeah. >> does sound exciting.

>> Yeah, I dude, I had uncles that just. smoked cigarettes on construction sites, would never do it around any like. anywhere else. >> Yeah, that's so cool. >> I'm going to start I'm going to start. I'm going to start vaping on. construction sites. >> [laughter]. >> Hey, watch out. Just be careful. >> Yeah, that's what you could do. Do I I think you could continue vaping. if you got real into like If you build. like a gazebo. I feel like if you build a gazebo with. your bare hands and then you're like, "I'm going to come out here and vape.". >> Yeah. >> No one can say [ __ ] to you.

>> My vaping gazebo. >> [laughter]. >> Covered in nice crawling ivy. I think if you build a gazebo I mean, no. I I. >> My geek bar gazebo. Don't bother daddy, he's in his gazebo. >> [laughter]. [laughter]. >> Yeah, when you put it that way. It might not help the cause. >> What if you like draped it out in like a. really sheer material, so that when you. vape it's like almost like a. >> Ooh, that's sensual. >> ceremonial thing? >> Like some pipe at like some pipe and. draping. >> Sure.

>> It'd be kind of chill. >> Yeah, you know what else would be cool. as hell? What if I set up like a tap. system at a bar, so I'm never actually. vaping the vice. There's just like cords. that come down that are tapped to like. uh. vape banks under the gazebo and I'm just. hitting the tap. >> That's kind of nice. >> That'd be [ __ ] sick. I could YouTube. that. >> What about hookah? You think hookah I. would be like. >> I do have e-hookahs. >> [laughter]. >> I do have a couple of disposable. e-hookahs. >> What So, is that a vape with just like a. >> with a genie on it.

It's like a it's like a tubular vape. with like uh well, one of them has like. a flaming knight on it. And uh it's not vaping. It's e-hookah. It's completely different. >> What's the difference? Is it Is it water. filtered? >> What? >> Is it filtered through water? Why is it. What's it What's the difference with. >> No, it's the it's the whatever the. different herb is that they hookah. And. I I'll tell you this, does not scratch. the vape itch. >> Tim, who controls the vape banks? >> Wait, was the pun hookah controls or who. controls hookah?

>> We'll do it on our podcast. >> [laughter]. >> You're not going to trip me up. >> Well, this has been a great time. >> Do you Do you share your vape with other. guys? >> Only [snorts] Ari Manny. >> Ah, that's fair. Yeah, I mean, look. >> Yeah, you're going to have to like start. stashing them. >> Mhm. >> Yeah, like the liquor in the attic. >> What What's So, let me get let me get. the counterpoint. What is the.

What's the gruff with you vaping? >> It's. uh health. >> risk. Yeah. >> And I'm getting old. And it's gay. I think it's probably equally weighted. between the two. >> [laughter]. >> Dying and being gay? >> Yeah. >> Yeah, his vape is out of juice. >> with both. >> Yeah. >> I don't. >> We're all going to be old and gay. someday. >> and I don't want to live a second longer. than I absolutely have to. >> Okay. >> Um. >> That sounds like a solid defense, also. >> I also really like getting my penis.

sucked sometimes. So, it's like that's. that's the trade-off in my mind. You. ever vape while you get it sucked? >> I haven't I don't make enough money for. that. >> [laughter]. >> Rest assured. >> When things hit for me, I will be moving. different. That's the main part. >> Baby, you in the mood for a little blue. razz? >> [laughter]. >> Have you tried to share the vape? You. like, just get it on the same. >> I hit it a little bit. >> Yeah, that's a good move. No, would you. be in the having vape smoke blown blown. in your face? >> I'm not I'm not a gay guy.".

>> I go, "All right, I know.". >> Devastating, bro. >> That hurts. >> That hurts. >> Okay. >> That hurts. >> I mean, dude. >> to switch to gooning and say, "Is this. preferable? Now I know women's names. online that I send $5 to. Is this better. than me hitting the frozen white mango?". >> Dude, >> [laughter]. >> While I while I play marathon? Is that. Is that Is this different? >> Bro, I got a queen-size bed and my wife. and I are fighting right now. Come over. when we're done. >> [laughter]. >> We'll each hold one end of the phone. And I'll show you Sadie Andrews' new. video.

The question is, what do you want? >> [laughter]. >> I don't even [ __ ] know, man. I just want to be left alone. >> Come goon, man. >> [laughter]. >> True. >> Goon man was my uh Vietnamese friend in. high school. >> How about [laughter] Look, I think we. all should just chill out, go on. menchat.com, and off some [laughter]. steam. >> Just have it out, talk to the bros. >> You would go to menchat first, then. gay.com? You think What would happen if. Would you get spit out instead of sucked. in? >> [laughter].

>> Well, I think we're I don't know. I think you know, the crazy thing is is. like as a guy jerking off online, recording yourself, there's a market for. you pretty much always. >> Mhm. [clears throat] So, I was like are. we too old for men chat? >> [laughter]. >> We be the guys asking for the vids or. like. what the hell what do I even do on. there? I don't know. >> [laughter]. >> We should all go get some new outfits. >> [cough]. >> You should go on menchat.com and just. video tape yourself vaping. There's probably I would imagine there's.

gay guys that want to see you vaping. Bro, now you're like this is business. Now you're now you're. >> [laughter]. >> here with business, babe. I can't let that slide. I'm on menchat.com. All right, we could all hit the vape. Dude, [laughter] we could all. we could all hit the white peach mango. and call it gang vape. >> [laughter]. [laughter]. >> Oh, [ __ ] It's going to be a gang vape. tab on there. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, man. That's great. I don't know. There's no. There's no easy answer for this stuff. There's no definitive I think it would. go like Russian nesting dolls. Like you. could probably be the be the hunted, Matt's like the middle ground, and I'm. the guy that's asking for the vids. >> [laughter]. >> San Francisco nesting dolls. True. I'm probably like I'm probably. sending some vids, receiving. I'm. probably hitting like yo, you want to. check that out? Yeah, you're liaison. >> [laughter]. >> I think if we if I did sit in the.

middle, this would be sort of a Pokémon. evolution of Gabe Herbert. >> [laughter]. >> Uh this episode sponsored by gay.com. Hey there. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, no, I'm a twunk. I'm a bear now. I'm. actually get it right. I'm a twunk. Twunk. What's the difference? twunk. It's like a honky twunk. A twunk is when a twunk puts on muscle. Who forced you to learn that? Charles. Bukowski.

>> [laughter]. >> Right in. what you would call Gargoyles. Incorporated, he broke me off with twunk. terminology and I was like, bro, thank. [laughter] you. >> What's a him? >> Uh, seal I would imagine. >> Mhm, I've heard that before. >> Bear cub maybe? >> Yeah. [snorts]. >> a bear cub. >> Yeah. >> What would you be with the. >> You tell me, brother. What do you think. I am? >> Shh. >> Yo, go crazy in the chat if you can tell. me what I am. >> [laughter]. >> I think I we said would you say you're. honest to god, would you say you're a. bear or pig?

>> What? >> [laughter]. >> Pig is highest Honestly, bro, I have. nothing but respect for gay pigs. >> [laughter]. >> You know the pig is, right? >> No, tell me. I've never. >> Bro, so there was a guy my brother drove. trash trash trucks. There was a trash. truck driver who was just an out and out. pig. So, a pig is like a guy who rolls. up You know, you have twunks, you got. seals, you got the bears. A pig we'd be partying and helping out. Yeah, we'd be at the airport [ __ ]. hotel, be all partying. A pig would roll. up and a pig is just like a. >> Pig will do anything, dude.

>> Wow, man. >> Clean up duty. Like pigs are just like. the horniest gay guys possible. >> I hope you guys are ready for some. scrapple. >> [laughter]. >> So, you could be a bear. I don't want to. tell you I'm just putting all the. options out there. >> No, you know what a. >> Pig to me is like. >> I'm an effort guy, so I think I'd be a. pig as opposed to a bear. >> It's like the seeker in Quidditch. >> They're like it's the most important. thing. While everyone's doing their. thing, they're like really winning the. game on the side. >> A pig is nice. I like to think I'm a bit. of a pig as well. >> Can you be a twunk pig? >> I mean, bro, I think there would be. nothing more in demand than twunk pig, a.

hairless twunk pig. >> [laughter]. >> Hairless, bro. Completely hairless. You could really get me glistening. You. could wax me up. >> Mhm. >> [ __ ] it. I good luck getting even get a. hold of me though. I'd be I'd be a. slippery fellow. >> Yeah, I can picture you I [laughter] can. picture you on a float. You're the golden snitch. >> I do have a fat ass. All you guys asses. >> [laughter]. >> Dude, I'm I'm I'm bulking up for the. summer. >> I'm caking for the summer. What's your. ass looking like right now? >> I'm caking. I'm historically caked.

>> That's what's up. >> Yeah, I've been flipping the tire. >> That's what's up. >> Have you really? >> Dude, a lot of guys have no ass, I've. been learning. >> It's the saddest thing in the world. >> I know. What what do you got? Are you. you're dog ass, right? >> My ass is caked. >> Are you caked or dog ass? >> I have dog ass. >> Dog ass? Nate notorious dog ass? >> Yeah, I used to have an ass and now it's. gone. >> lost your ass? >> I lost my ass. >> Gambling? >> I used to be caked up, lost my ass. >> How'd you lose your ass? >> I just I don't know. I just started. sitting on it. I stopped. >> I walk. I'm sitting on it all the time. >> [laughter]. >> I squished my ass.

I don't know. >> [laughter]. >> No, I don't think you're caked up, Lamar. I think you probably got teacher. ass. >> Yeah. >> You think he has teacher ass? >> Just just wide and just [clears throat]. mushed. >> [laughter]. >> You look like like the kind of ass that. looks like you say, "Come here, baby.". >> [laughter]. >> Teacher ass is crazy. >> Lamar, your knees don't bend inward, do. they? >> [laughter]. >> No. >> Okay, I'm just making sure.

Cuz that kind of dictates the shape of. the big guy butt. >> [laughter]. >> You know, it gets kind of like a. bloodhound mouth thing going. >> Yeah, that's there's not much variation. for guys asses, honestly. You either. have a fat ass or just no ass. >> Really, there's not. Women, you have. like heart-shaped hiney, you know, you. have a lot. >> [laughter]. >> You have a lot of different butts. Oh, god dang, man. >> I [clears throat] think we done did it. Where we at here? >> Woo! >> Wow, man. >> God damn. Twonk talk took us home.

>> Twonk talk, we really slid into home. Consistent thread through the entire. app. >> Perfect. [laughter]. >> Perfect. >> It's got to be called the episode is. definitely gay.com, for sure. >> [laughter]. >> Can you get them as a last-minute. sponsor, you think? >> I would like to hope you're the dad of. the You guys familiar with. >> Wow Wow West. >> No, tell me about it. >> I shouldn't even talk about the [ __ ]. right now. >> There's a place in uh. I think it's like New England somewhere. where it's just an all male naked.

retreat. >> Mhm. >> [clears throat]. >> And. when I first heard that I was like. serious that's kind of like crazy but. it's obviously just gay guys and if. you're under 33 years old your first day. is free. >> Larry Bird fans. >> [laughter]. >> Under 33. Under 33. >> Under 30 it was like 31 or 32 but either. way. I don't want to put the house on blast. >> You know there's a nasty denotation. behind that. >> Yeah, I think so. >> We're doing Dad Meet Meet up at the.

>> Wow Wow West. >> Yes. Do a land party at the. >> Wow Wow West. >> Being outside Being outside naked in the. woods would rip. Undoubtedly. >> I would be scared of getting attacked by. something. >> A twang? >> No, just like some weird beast in the. woods like a [ __ ] fox or something. >> A fox wouldn't. naked guy. >> Fox will steal your penis in the woods. >> That's what I worry about man. >> Yeah. >> They're so cunning. A little fox bite. will get you. >> Wearing a little cloak. >> True true.

Sneak up [laughter] and just snatch your. little penis off and run away. >> Would you feel better clothed or is that. not the issue? >> Yeah, I would like being clothed in the. woods. >> Okay. >> That way you can just get loose. >> You don't want to be naked and afraid. >> Yeah, I I think I would. bugs too. >> Bugs getting a bug up your butt would be. terrible. >> [laughter]. >> Especially if you got a little. Especially if you got like a little. slippery centipede going up there. >> I'd worry about some roly-polies having. a time up my butt. >> [laughter]. >> Just a couple of those little guys just. curling up in the balls and. >> doing a conga line. >> Tickle me with their little [ __ ].

>> [laughter]. >> little feet. God damn. >> You want to hear about landing this. bird? >> Oh man, it was fun. >> Thank you guys. >> Thank you for having us man. >> Dude, obviously check out Dad Meet. >> Yeah, baby. >> Oh, come see me on the road. I'm in I'm. in Ohio this weekend. I'm in. Boston next weekend. I'm taping a. 30-minute special with the Creek and the. Cave with that guest visual in May. Come. do that stuff, please. That'll be. awesome. >> Yeah, check out my books at onperks.com. Also, patreon.com/getting some head. I'm. doing a goals and accountability group, so check that out next week.

>> Hell yeah. >> Also, this weekend, guys, this is really. big. I'll be in Indianapolis. Um sorry, I'm doing off the gate at. comic interview. I'll be in St. Louis at. the Factory on Friday and then 3:14, I'll be at uh. Murat Hall in Indianapolis, Indiana. Please come out to that. Um. and that's it. Thank you. >> Awesome. >> Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane. Secret Podcast on Spotify. >> Do it.