Ep 601 - Gen Z Whiteboy (feat. Devan Costa & Conner McNutt)

The wow wow west. Very sorry now. Sorry. now. [clears throat] All right, cool. Hey, we're here. What the hell is going. on? Connor Maynard, David Costabile. We. just had some secret talks that we Some. secret [laughter] talks. Top secret. talks. It's going to look bad now cuz. then the thing we're talking about Okay, we didn't have that kind of secret talk. cuz we're about to talk about the. BAFTAs. Right. It wasn't It wasn't I. look, I can assure you it was not that. That was not that secret talk. But. >> No. The uh. >> [laughter]. >> The guy with Tourette's, yeah. Yeah. Of. course. Of course. weird cuz we. technically did have personal talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We also started three.

times in a row right now, which makes. things awkward. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. 100% Everything's Everything's on the up. and up. You can be assured of that. Which camera You can be assured of that. Um. Guys, thanks for coming. Dude, thanks. for coming. >> We know we're pretty big get, so Yeah. Hey, you guys are lucky You're lucky. we're here. I I'll take it. >> I I I am genuinely lucky you're here. Baby. Yeah. I'm [ __ ] happy you guys. are here. Me, too, man. God damn. So, with all the formalities. out of the way, we're talking BAFTAs. The talking.

BAFTAs. Talking BAFTAs. It was a crazy. situation cuz I thought I thought. Sinner's was overrated, but I think that. guy went too far. [laughter]. And then I had to check out the. Tourette's guy's movie. Have you seen. it? 12 Years a Slave? No. You haven't [laughter] seen it? That's. the Tourette's movie. It's a crazy. [ __ ] movie. It's called I Swear. >> Yeah. What is it? I Swear. >> What did he Was he the director, writer? >> No, no. He's just It's based on him and. a actor, really good actor, plays him in. it and it's very good. I watched it like. right after the uh the N-word The guy.

was It was That's a crazy marketing. game. It was That's I was I. I felt like it was intentional. Yeah, cuz I immediately watched the movie. Also, they apparently like missed the. Oscar like cutoffs by like a week or. two. So, this movie's going to be in. circulation for like the next year. Yeah. Like it'll probably get nominated. next year for the Oscars. So, like we'll. hear about the Tourette's guy for the. next year. >> Unless he gets killed by a black hole. >> at the BAFTAs, though? Tourette's guy. >> He's a British guy. He's actually kind. of famous in uh England. >> Okay, but he's John David he's a white. boy. He's a white boy, yeah. He's a.

crazy he's a crazy white boy. He's a. very crazy white boy. Why was he doing. >> He's never said it to Idris Elba, which. is interesting. >> [laughter]. >> Why? I don't know, dude. Like Idris. Michael B. Jordan is jacked. Yeah. Yeah. You shouldn't say it to anybody whether. they're weak or strong, but. >> it to Delroy Lindo, too, who like is. like an older black dude and probably. really hurt it directed at him at times. >> and this this has been the this has been. kind of the. Well, first of all, I'm curious. why was this movie being nominated or he. was just an actor? He was. >> yeah, the actor that played him. >> plays him won. But was he played by a.

black man? No, no, no. What are What are. YOU TALKING ABOUT? [laughter]. IS BAFTA FOR BLACK. >> NO, IT'S BRITISH BRITISH. NO, NO. IT WASN'T THE [ __ ] NAACP. Awards. You think there's a You think there's a. segregated award show for black people? >> There's a BET Awards. >> Right, no. BAFTA is not that. >> [laughter]. >> I thought it was like the BET British. BET. >> No. You thought it was like badass film. awards. That was black actors film. >> That's very funny. I thought the whole.

time I was like, dude, he did it at the. BET. [laughter] No, it's British. I. thought he did it at the British BET. Awards. >> No, he did it at the British. >> like the British actors. Yes. It's a guy. who's like actually like he's like a. crown jewel of London. Like everyone. loves this guy. There was like a. documentary series about the guy and. then they made a movie out of it. So. like he's like I mean he called like the. queen a [ __ ] to her face. >> Yeah. His His His one of his best. friends died and when the cops came he. goes like I killed him. I killed him. He. You say the thing that's never. And thanks for clearing up the fact that. this wasn't the British BET. I the whole.

time I was going The British BET Awards. I loved that you thought that. That's. the entire time. >> That's beautiful, actually. You got a. beautiful mind, dude. [laughter]. You're like how cool of London they have. a black award show. [laughter] Good for. them, dude. It's embarrassing. So, okay, but and. this is the question now where it's like. cuz I I've read a lot of the comments on. it and you do have a lot of like black. ladies and even black guys being like. that [ __ ] was in him. He knows what he.

said. >> He knows what he did. >> [ __ ] Tourette's. >> They should have edited. >> apparently they did edit out Epstein. stuff, but they didn't edit out the. N-word. >> They also edited out free Palestine. >> Yes. Yeah, yeah, sorry, that's what it. was. Palestine. >> calling the host of the show like a homo. the entire time and they edited that. out, too. >> What? >> Yeah, he didn't say that. always, you. know, Yeah, obviously, yeah. Yeah, he's. got the disease. I also have to You got. to do it. I also have Tourette's when I. see Ali G. >> feel better. Also, if he had if his. Tourette's made him go homo That's. [laughter] what it would have been.

People are like, you know what you're. saying. That's in you. Yeah, it's funny the the. the like the inflection is like so. harsh. You know, what if he had like. Tourette's that was like sing-song, you. know? >> True. You're gay. >> That could be Maybe that's fun. Maybe. that's potential therapy. Broadway. Tourette's. >> That could be a potential therapy of. getting him to kind of like, yeah, sing. it out. But that's Yeah, I I mean, I. personally don't think the man hit that. was like some sort of, you know, showing. of like innate evil. And it's also like. the question is is like. who what person it was like does that.

mean the word is there or the sentiment. to use it? >> It's just that you've you've heard. before that that's the worst thing to. call a black person. So then you say. that. It's literally like the. disability. Yeah. You say the worst. thing. >> goes to. >> to somebody. It goes to the taboo and. you can't help it and it like helps you. like live. It You you feel like I've. been watching all these like Tourette's. people talk about it and yeah, it it it. it's like you can't it's uh you feel. like you're going to explode unless you. don't Yeah. >> get it out. And then they also, you. know, just go like. you know, they like bark and [ __ ] like.

Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> They're [ __ ] animals, man. [clears throat]. >> YEAH, THEY'RE HAPPY. THE GUY was podcasting at the bathroom. >> I I think honestly, I think Tourette's. are now the most. for a while I was like it's definitely. straight white men, the most dangerous. people in America or the world. >> Yeah. Tourette's have replaced I think. Tourette's yeah, yeah, yeah. We got to. keep an eye on them. I mean you have. like Eric Cartman disease. I don't know. what to tell you. It's [laughter] it's. pretty it's pretty rude. They're. terrorists. They're literally. terrorists. If you have Tourette's.

you're an evil terrorist. >> He didn't apologize technically too and. black people on Twitter at least are. very upset by that. >> his apology? It was just. >> explaining the disease, you know what I. mean? Explaining it cuz in the movie. there's an entire scene where the lady. that takes him in is like "You don't. need to keep apologizing for something. you can't help.". >> A black lady? No. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, yeah, it was Whoopi Goldberg. played his mom in the movie. It was Mo'Nique in the movie actually. In the movie and and the guy there's an. actor who played him who was like yeah, so.

>> Who probably had the time of his [ __ ]. life. Imagine getting that role. Just saying. it all over the [ __ ]. >> hey man, you're going to get paid like a. $100,000. You get to say the N-word a. bunch. You're like oh no. Yeah, you got. to yell it out. >> Oh [ __ ] that's terrible. >> He doesn't yell the N-word in the movie. >> No. No, probably not. But now okay, here's another thing Matt. There's a. scene in the movie where he's like. painting his new flat like his apartment. with his friend and it's like green. paint but it looks dark green and he's. like puts it on his face as a tick and. then he like puts it on his friend's. face and they start doing it and that. clip has surfaced on Twitter and black.

people are like so there's a blackface. scene in this movie too? But it's oh. it's a dark green It's like a dark green. and it's has nothing to do with race. He's just being like wacky. >> [laughter]. >> and painting his friend's face and. they're like. oh, you know? But now that's like. [ __ ] an evil Yeah, there's. Like this is a thought out thing in the. movie is this like secret racist There. is like a weird like cognitive. dissonance with like I don't know black. people on Twitter where it's like they. would like go to like a kid's birthday. party and a guy that gets painted like a. giraffe and they go "You're doing. blackface. What's going on here?" No,

it's well it it came The problem is. though if you're somebody who's like, you know, really prides yourself on. being like socially aware and. empathetic, you came to a very nasty. crossroads where like whose side am I. on? Yeah, it's tough. >> or the disabled. It's tough cuz also he. he there was apparently like a mic in. front like he just said like why was. there a big mic in front of me The. BAFTAs wanted this to happen. That was. actually not a good So they had it they. had the guy who was just all night. screaming. >> People think he was in the [laughter]. boom MIC ON THE.

THE ENTIRE TIME. NO, THERE'S THIS IDEA that he was front. and center, you know, like wearing like. with a swastika tattoo on his head just. like screaming the worst things of all. time. You know, he was like 40 rows back. apparently and but somehow like kind of. miked and they cut everything else but. this part. Yeah. That's weird. Wait, they caught they caught they. missed every Oh, they scrubbed it. >> hit they somebody on stage said free. Palestine, they cut that. >> Maybe they were kind of there was a.

couple guys where they were like, well, he was you were saying he was yelling. like gay stuff too the whole time. >> To the yeah, the host Alan [ __ ] kept. like like saying like just so everyone. knows there's a there's a guy here that. And he'd be like, can't stop saying. [laughter] it and By the way, by the. way, imagine being gay and your last. name is [ __ ] That's so funny, dude. That's incredible. >> [laughter]. >> That is really And that's that's that's. driving the Thwaites guy crazy. That. just He's a [ __ ] brilliant man. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, he's he's my favorite.

No, but it's also just created a war cuz. he's like a very like people really He's. an earnest figure in England. People. really really love him. >> that he said [ __ ] the queen or told her. to. >> Yeah, it's cuz he cuz it's so. they forgive it. They forgive it and the. queen forgave it, you know, like like. it's She has bigger fish to fry right. now. One of her sons is running wild. She's also dead. >> [laughter]. >> God damn it. I don't know anything. Queen is dead. Who's Who the [ __ ] running England. right now? I I wonder they're having. guys scream out in the awards. >> [laughter].

>> Son's a damn pedophile. I mean Award. show they're yelling out insults. They're just I don't know. That guy. [ __ ] knew what he was I [ __ ] that. guy. That guy that. >> what he was doing actually. That is the. core of that man's entire You need to. get him a sick man. He's a sick man. His. life should be ruined more than it has. been his entire life. >> the same page as Jamie Fox. Is Jamie Fox. >> Jamie Fox was [laughter] like, "Fuck. him, dude. He knew what he said.". Meanwhile Jamie Fox is like telling. Leonardo DiCaprio, "Just [ __ ] say it. all you want, dude." Cuz Jamie Fox is. the guy who said the N-word. It's such a. weird flex to be like, "Yeah, that. [ __ ] If like.

I'm trying to think. I feel like if a. guy with like Down syndrome tripped me. on accident and then I turned around and. was like, "Motherfucker, you know what. you did.". >> I know. You [ __ ] know what you did. >> when an evil like reptilian like like. grandmother of yours or like I guess. like even somebody's mom, they start. kind of like, "Oh, they have they have. they're forgetful now." But they say. like evil things in between the. forgetfulness and you're like, "I know. what you're [ __ ] doing." Like [ __ ]. Livia Soprano or something. Where you're. just like, "I can't tell. Like people.

have said you have a you know a problem. now, so I but but I still kind of think. you're [ __ ] with me.". >> It's also it just is so unbelievable if. he has like a track record of like, "Oh, we kind of love this guy." And then he. just gets the BAFTAs and he goes, "Finally.". >> [laughter]. >> My evil dark philosophy. >> con, it paid off. Yeah, I've been faking. Tourette's for years. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> thought he was at the BET Awards like. you. >> [laughter]. >> It's just insane It's such an insane.

thing to not immediately be like, "Yeah, okay, that guy." But I think what. happened was it it fell too neatly with. uh Who was the other little the fart. lady? Yeah, fart Edward lady. >> Edward. >> She was like yeah, hitting that note. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that. was like a a stun grenade for black. people where they were kind of like, "Wait, what the [ __ ] was that?". >> like stop being so silly about it. We. don't know how to get angry about this. >> No, it it was Yeah, it was it was just. kind of like cuz that was clearly, you. know, a slip-up. Although my brother was. like, "There's no My brother is.

completely against AGTV ladies." Like, like, no way That was a slip-up." Oh, he. >> No, do you I think that's the thing she. says all the time. Yes, definitely. >> her toe, she just fart N-word. Like, it's that's just in her repertoire. >> saying fart knocker is what she usually. says, and it just It just you She must. have hit her toe. >> Yeah, we've all been there. We mix I mix. it up, you know? I I confuse knocker and. the N-word all the time. I go, "That. lady's got great N-words.". >> Also, here's the thing is like, how bad. did you hit your toe? Broken toe? Mhm. It's like What I didn't understand about. that clip was why did she go, like, "Can.

we cut that?" And some guy was like, "No.". >> [laughter]. >> So, the guy's like, "Absolutely not. I. hate you. You can go to hell. No, someone clearly just took that and. released it. >> Yes. >> they're I think they're like live. streaming or something like that. I. think they're like Instagram live. Were. they? They had to be cuz why couldn't. you cut that out? >> getting into live streaming? I think. someone took the card and was like, "Sick.". >> Yeah. Really? You think that? We were. just talking about these Gen Z'ers, dude. They love that [ __ ] dude. That's that's what they do. They're. nihilists. They're I I I think they are.

kind of nihilists. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Or I don't know. A lot of them are. like big-time grind heads, though, so. What's a grind head? Like grind like. rising I'm on the grind. Yeah, rising. I'm on the grind. I'm going to get to. the next level. Yeah, they they don't. care if they like die young. I mean, they you know, they're all [ __ ] doing. the micro-fracturing on their faces, doing math and [ __ ]. >> Well, Austin is also like the uh it's. like the capital of like the most boring. 24-year-old of all time. Like, all those. like get ready with me, here's my day as. a 24-year-old living in Austin, and I'm. like, "Dude, kill yourself." Yeah. This. is the worst life I've ever seen.

>> I've talked to my [clears throat]. younger cousin about that, and he was. like I was like, "Is this what you and. your friends do?" And he was like, "No. None of us He's like, "None of us do. that." It is like a mindfuck cuz I'm. trying to figure out like what Gen Z. does or who they are. But, cuz all the. biggest people are like streaming all. the time. Yeah. But, I don't think. that's a good fair reflection of like. who they are. You mean? >> I'm telling you I I think they're. completely. checked out of like online stuff. Yeah. >> Like, I don't I don't think that that. I was just talking about like the rage. bait of how like it's like if you get. mad about something online I think they.

view you as like a boomer [ __ ] [ __ ]. Or like almost if you get mad at all. it's kind of embarrassing. >> Yep. What was the sentiment we just had? If you don't say the N-word you're gay. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. No cuz they they'll just rip the N-word. It's like you know all on the internet. and and again maybe there's streamers. versus other guys but it does seem like. young white dudes can just rip the. N-word on the internet. >> Critical is constantly ripping the. N-word. >> stop Fuentes and you can't tell me. that's not trickling down. It completely.

is. It's like an Xbox Live economy. >> [laughter]. >> It's just That's like now the culture. Say anything. >> So I that's what I think I think it's. like you know I. you know I didn't I didn't predict this. happening but I think I think white. people are taking the word back. >> [laughter]. >> I think they might be the the youth of. the. >> White people are like let's put the. power back into it actually. >> [laughter]. >> The opposite of Jay-Z. It's got to be. crazy cuz like you know I I know black. dudes who go on Xbox Live and like yeah.

people yell the N-word and blah blah. blah and whatever. But it's got to be kind of a mind [ __ ]. to see like all these young white kids. using it and like as far as the internet. goes it's cool in the sense that it's. working. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean we're being completely. honest. The The N-word was gentrified by. black people. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. We're taking it back all. right. It's like you but you get your. you got to be careful. Exactly. You. can't say I I'm not taking it back. I. feel gay like we just said when I say. the N-word. Like I'm like retelling.

something. I feel like a teenager's. going to call me like a homo or. something. Like like something just pop. out of a bush be like you [ __ ] gay. dude. That's what I was saying earlier. Like I think if you're like 22 and you. don't say the N-word and you're white. you're kind of it's like kind of gay. >> Kind of gay. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. Which is funny. I mean dude how. crazy is that? They just I mean well. they're all at home. No one can punch. them in their room. That's true. You. know. But but you know what I think it. started there's a lot white there's a. lot of white rappers that started just. like ripping it. Do you know Jin Lee? No, who's he? He was a Dallas rapper.

He's a he's a giant red-headed man Okay. >> with long curly red hair. >> I I've seen this guy. Yeah, he's good. He was ripping the N-word. He's in jail. now. Okay, he's in jail. Yeah, I mean I I've. I've seen him like also like post videos. like justifying saying it. Just And then. but then like he'll go and he'll fight. like black teenagers in the mall. >> Yeah. So his his stance is He's about. that life. Completely. >> He really hates them. No, he [laughter]. loves them. He said totally. Going to. the mall to fight black teenagers. >> I think he just roasts the ones he. loves, but. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> But no, he'll have people like if you.

have a problem, come fight me. Right. >> end up just being in like, you know, near a smoothie king. >> fat as [ __ ] too. >> He's [ __ ] And he's like 6'3. He's. huge. Ugly as hell. Well, hey man, I. think he lives in Dallas. He can come. get me. I'm not going to say it. Come. fight me, dude. Let's go to the mall. Let's do it. I love you. I love this. guy. >> jail. He's going to get out of jail. He's going to fight you. Yeah, he might. not. He might just be a crazy ass white. boy. He probably is, dude. But he's good Yeah, he sounds like Big X. the Plug, right? Kind of similar to. that? >> Yeah, kind of. >> yeah. Fat, I guess. I don't know. He just. sounds [laughter] fat.

I've never heard him I've never heard. Big X the Plug, but I'm like he's. probably fat. >> Oh, you'd love it. >> Is Big X the Plug white, too? No, he's. black. Oh, okay. No, but there was that. I think that's, you know, the internet. is like cuz like you're you're right. You can safely say it on the internet. and like, you know, if you live around. all white people, it's like no one's. going to beat you up really for it. Maybe like, you know, your lesbian. cousin might. >> They're also saying it with the A, right? Yes. So yeah, there's like people. have a thing it's not the same at all to. True. you know, like Like like when Nick. Fuentes says it, it's it's it's in a way.

of like. I think he'd have a bigger problem he. was saying with the hard R like every. time, you know. >> him. the pass. And yeah, he's a sane. individual. >> Which Yeah, I mean that's [laughter]. Imagine that's your justification. Like no, the most crazy man of all time. said I can say it so. He's getting his [ __ ] together though. Yeah, Kanye Kanye apologized. Takes a. Takes a big man to apologize to all the. world's Jews. It does. It does. Have you. done that before? I've No, I've never. been in that position.

>> Matt I [laughter] Matt I do it every. single morning. Wake up and I apologize to all the. world's Jews. Just get on Twitter. Sorry. Jews. That'd be nice just hitting them with. just like inspo content every like. what's Good morning Jews, let's get it. this morning. Like pause really positive stuff. Like. good morning Jews, let's get That's like. That's like the real life equivalent. like putting more shields in your chest. in like Call of Duty. >> [laughter]. >> You see that every morning like all. right, I'm good. I'm [ __ ] safe again. Ah, that poor guy. >> Let's get it J gang. Let's call it J. gang. >> J gang. Yeah.

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AI songs on it, but he put it out at the. time when he was going completely. insane. >> Mhm. See, I didn't know what was real. So, I. >> Yeah, right. Right. It It Some of the. songs are like kind of fake. Yeah. >> Man, it's just he's just And the. funniest thing is that it's a really. calm, like, thought Like it's it's very. Like nothing's crazy on the album. It's. really lovely and nice. >> And then you look at his, you know, he's. online saying like kill them all. >> Yeah, [laughter] yeah. And you're like, "But this is so nice to listen to. What. the This is insane.". Yeah, dude. Just sucking your cousin. off. >> this musician I like who John Martyn.

He's like this guy like a British folk. singer from the '70s. And he would like. He was, you know, one of the first. people who was doing the looper pedal. So, he would do these like beautiful. ambient soundscapes, and then I learned. he had been like beating his wife the. whole time. >> That's sad. I know. >> So, he would like have a vicious. altercation with his wife, beat her, and then go like out in like. the other room and just rip like a. beautiful. >> Yeah. Cuz yeah. >> It helps you possess, you know, the the. the Yeah, like the hating yourself for.

doing bad things like helps the artist. and stuff. Maybe Maybe Kanye Maybe. hating your wife is the key to success. >> Hating Hating. Okay. >> Well, >> both. I think yeah, I think it'll come. down to both, for sure. John Lennon used. to [ __ ] I beat. >> Yeah. >> beat women. >> a song about it. It Isn't Jealous Guy. all about Women are the N-word of the. world. Yeah, that was him trying to help. them really. That's dude. He hated his wife so much. He goes, "You're the N-word [laughter]. of the world." I'm going to go hit my. wife and go, "I'm trying to buy a house. That's what I'm doing.". >> lyrics today and you're like, "Oh, wait. He was actually being mean." I didn't.

thought he was trying to be the. [laughter] ultimate emancipator. What a. dick. Yeah, that was That was a That was. a wild movie pulled. Yeah. Yeah. I I. think women were like, "Yeah.". Yeah. >> You know what I mean? I I'd have a hard. time believing they wouldn't be like, "Well." No, I think they love that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean women have been. fighting for There's been that. oppression Olympics for a while. >> funny that they have been in terms of. like numb sheer numbers, they've been completely [ __ ] on for. the longest Like if you go back into. like history when you used to be able to.

[ __ ] Yeah. wrestle them and [ __ ]. >> all they get is like Hillary Clinton. Yeah, that [laughter] sucks, dude. She. gets destroyed. It really sucks ass. It's tragic. Kamala Harris. They need to. like their own fair con. Yeah. But. that's cool cuz when women get like too. feministic for some reason they lose. their cool. Unfortunately, they do that. and we go, [clears throat] "Ah, shut. up." Yeah. Like they've tried a million. times. They have tried a million. You. know what? This is embarrassing of me to. admit, but I recently I don't know why I. got this idea where I was like, "Dude, I. think women in like, you know, heavily.

Muslim controlled areas are genuinely. happier than women in the West.". Uh like Sharia law and stuff. >> Looked it up, not the case. >> Not at all. >> I was like with Croc, like, "Yeah, but. like what about?" He's like, "Not even, dude. It's They're not. They're so sad.". I love that like ignorant take when you. you meet a like a person from like a. different culture and you're like, "Oh, it must be peaceful." And you're like. Are you googling? You're like, "Oh, they. hate gay people.". >> [laughter]. >> It's actually illegal to be gay. They'll. kill you. >> like, "Maybe they're like, you know, it's like as much as it sucks not being. able to drive or leave your house and. having to do all the Or have a [ __ ].

>> [laughter]. >> Muslim women are like, "The [ __ ] is like. the appendix. It's not really. necessary.". >> [laughter]. >> It was a shameful thought, but I was. like, maybe there's a certain freedom in. that that women actually and then I. looked it up and was like, "No, they're. depressed." And it's also like the. reporting of depression is probably so. low, too, and it's still Right. Are they. even allowed to get into that? >> and that's why they asked them more. like, you know, like instead of being. like, "Are you depressed?" they're. probably like, "No." So, it's like, "Well, how did you ever feel like tired. for days at a time?" And they're like, "Yeah." They're like, "Do you ever like.

think about just like sleeping forever?". And then they hit them with all those. questions. >> Yeah. When they collect a lot of data, it was like. >> Just coded killing yourself, you know, like. >> Yeah. Yeah. But then I was like, are. Muslim men happier? And I don't think. so. I don't think so, either. They're. Middle Eastern. Loud and angry. I think. if you're like religious, you're just. never happy. Like if you're like fully. like God will hate me if I do anything. >> Yeah. You can't be happy. >> But imagine if you don't beat off for. one day. I mean, I I kind of lose my mind. Yeah. You'd be happy. I don't I don't know. Lately, I've been able to go when I like.

do shows, I've I every now and again. I'll go to a hotel, sleep there, not. beat off, and leave in the morning, and. I always feel like. feel good. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's I didn't leave a [ __ ]. disgusting towel for that lady to get. >> [laughter]. >> That's why they're doing it. They're. being Muslim guys are just considerate. They're like, "The women have to clean. up our jizz." This You're not jerking. straight into the toilet. When I'm in a. hotel, I'm just straight in there. That's I do that at home. Jerk right. into the toilet? Like just get it out? Yeah. >> a late night sneak away, for sure. >> what you mean. [laughter] Late night. sneak away.

A hotel, I like I just whatever, dude. >> Yeah, you just paid the room. Not my. bed. Yeah. Treat hotels like [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> We were just We just turned everything. on at ours. >> Dude, that's our favorite thing Make. sure turn the TV on. We turn everything. on. Fan, get everything going. And YouTube, you stay on. You're my. slave. I own you. But yeah, dude, it's just. Well, [laughter] shut my bad. Tourette's. >> [laughter]. >> I'm at the bathhouse right. >> now. I'm a man.

So, [snorts]. no. Do you ever lay in a hotel room and. think about how many people have came in. the bed that you're in? >> Yeah. Yeah. It's that top cover you got. to worry about, right? That they always. tell you about. Like That's how I get. cozy. >> The one on the top. >> about that and I go That's how. [laughter] you fall asleep. Ooh, it's nice. Yeah, I. uh. I don't know. I I I've always, you know, obviously people are doing stuff in. there, but like I I got hit with the. like genuine scale of it. I was like, "Dude, it's like every time someone hits. one of these beds,

>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Me and my ex at we like she like. demanded to like leave a a hotel in New. York one time cuz there was this like. kind of obvious jizz stains on the. Oh, yeah. I thought you were going to. tell a totally different story where she. like made you She made me I [ __ ] all. over her. She got the bed wet. It was a. whole She's She's a [laughter] pig. >> Dude. Dude. Dude. Come on. That is It is. funny to be like, "There's too much jizz. in this bed." You get a different room, you just jizz all over. >> [laughter]. >> You go to the other room, you're like, "There's not enough jizz on this bed,

actually.". Yeah, you lay down, nothing like. crunches or you don't see like a pile of. dust just fly out of the. >> [laughter]. >> I kind of miss the days when I was like. a kid and like nothing came out. Yeah. >> It was easier. You got the whole. feeling. The orgasm happened. >> That was the best, dude. >> Nothing came out. >> Yeah, man. I don't know. Every. >> [clears throat]. >> The only downside of that is my uncle. would be like, "What the [ __ ] man? I. thought. >> [laughter]. >> TRYING TO GET PREGNANT OVER HERE. Trying to get [ __ ] by my nephew. This. is unbelievable. Yeah, it just feels. like I don't I always let down my uncles.

around. >> [laughter]. >> My uncle hates it, dude. But he wouldn't. molest me and I didn't [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> I remember. I've never I've I'm joking. I've never. been molested, but I went to my. I went [snorts] to Penn State one time. years and years ago and it was like my. uncle was there with his kid. We're all. hanging out and we would go to the bar. and I got hammered with my uncle and I. always like [ __ ] around with him but. like anytime there'd be like a woman. there I'd be like yeah that's my uncle. and she'd be like oh she's so like oh. great he's he's like a a handsome guy.

for his age. He always has been and. every time like I would kind of like. hype him up and be like yeah he he. >> [laughter]. >> used to molest. and then he'd be like what the [ __ ] man. He was not at I was crushing him. He was. like Penn State has no history of. molestation. >> [laughter]. >> and it's it's totally true but I would. just be like I would just like build him. up to a babe and he'd be like [ __ ]. nice and I'd say something terrible and. they'd be like oh what the [ __ ] I mean. it's kind of the ultimate bit with your. with your boys and you're like you know. he's a pedophile. I have a friend Joey that that if we're. in public at [snorts] like a grocery.

store and I'm checking out he goes just. so you know this guy's a REGISTERED SEX. OFFENDER. >> [laughter]. >> LIKE EVERY TIME. >> DOING DOING THAT TO YOUR friend just in. a grocery store and be like he's here to. meet a 13 year old boy. He levels it up too. He'll go like he's. a convicted pedophile. >> [laughter]. >> He's a violent pedophile. He's a violent. pedophile. How do you play it off? I. just go tease nuts to get out. I look. more [laughter] like a pedophile. I look. more like I look I look guilty. No no. I'm not. No I'm not he is I'm not. You. can't fight it you just got to laugh it.

off. If I were like no. I'd like kill myself. >> TRY TO HIT LIKE UNO REVERSE LIKE. you're a pedophile actually. You got to. hit him with you wish but he wishes. >> [laughter]. >> Did you wish I was a pedophile? Life would be so sweet. You wish. >> [laughter]. >> In your dreams. Oh man that's a fun. prank to play. Yeah he plays a lot of. pranks. They're not always fun. Hitting the vi- if you have the video. the best one is a video like you know. you have guys with the cameras and you. surround someone in a Walmart and go.

like oh you're here to [ __ ] that is I. mean that someone's got to do that prank. vid that's got to be so funny. >> They do they do it all the time. Well. it's not even like they don't even pose. it as a prank video they just get people. in trouble. There's like like you know these. nihilist Gen Z kids they just go to like. Walmart and they'll just like point at. somebody and be like this guy and he's. not. What? He's just. >> person, yeah. That sucks. >> Sucks, dude. The pedophile hunting is. crazy. >> [clears throat]. >> Part of me, like, I hate to be that guy, but I'm like, you just you want to beat. up an autistic guy. That's all this is. Sometimes it is Sometimes I am like I'm.

I'm uncomfortable with how I feel like. weirdly a little more empathy for the. pedophile than the hunters. I'm like, "Stop pouring Tabasco in his eyes.". >> like, kill that guy, sure, but I don't I. don't want to see it. Kill Take him out back. Yeah. Do. something. I mean, you know. Well, it's. like, you know, if you're it's hunting, man. You're hunting game. Sometimes you. catch a big deer, sometimes you catch a. little deer. [laughter] Yeah, exactly. But when it turns into like an. influencer thing, like, you're getting. views off this, you know. >> It's It's gone down a little bit, but. for a while there, it was so insane how. like Akon and like T-Pain.

>> Exactly. They started getting you like. celebs to go on there. Dude, it was like. part of the circuit. It was like, you're. promoting your album? Like, you're going. to have a pedophile Like, Ty Dolla Sign. is like shaving Epstein's head and. pouring Tabasco in his face. Those were. so weird though. It's like, I mean, cuz. those guys are being hunted for real, right? So, it's like, there's a. pedophile who's in his head he's like, "Dude, I'm about to get some little boy. pussy." And then Akon shows up, he goes, "This is the best day of my life." Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Holy [ __ ] Akon's going to serenade me. [ __ ] a boy? And then he's like, "Oh,

it's the worst day of my life, actually." Akon's here to get me. He's. like, "Play Locked Up.". >> [laughter]. >> Can you sing Locked Up? Yeah, he. Yeah, it sucks when they're clearly you're. like, "Oh, this person is like. either severely autistic or like has. something." Yeah. And you're like, "Oh, dude, all right." They kind of always. are though. It definitely stopped the. guy from molesting. Like, you got to. stop him, but it's like, I don't know. That should be You got to get him back. [clears throat] Just kill him. Sonic, bro. Yeah, you can just kill him. You. think so? Yeah. Yeah.

>> comic I know. >> why not? Why kill those people? Yeah. You think so? Pedophiles? Yeah, I mean, all for sure. But if say if you if it was like if you. have severe developmental delays and all. that stuff, and then like you get caught. being a pedophile and people like beat. them up. I'm like, all right, dude. Definitely Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a. disability. Blow up the It's kind of. like the Baptist. [laughter] There's. going to be a pedophile at the Baptist. next year, dude. No, that [ __ ] was in. you. I know what the [ __ ] is in your. soul. Evil. You ever see [laughter] the. pedophile fight back and they're kind of. good? They got hands a little bit. There's a couple videos where like they.

beat up the pedophile and the pedophile. is like, "I'll [ __ ] square up right. now." And they almost lose a fight to. the pedophile and I'm like, "Dude, could. you imagine Damn. getting your [ __ ]. rocked by a pedophile?". >> Buff pedophile. Yeah, expendable. pedophile. God [laughter] damn. >> Yes, solo pedophile. Yeah, definitely is. not his first rodeo. >> Rambo first kid. >> [laughter]. >> It's not his first rodeo. He's trained. He's got They probably called him. Slipping back in the day. Now it's Never. Again. Has someone for real almost lost. to the pedophile in the Walmart?

>> Yeah, in like a convenience store, like. a liquor store. >> Walmart should have like a boxing ring. for if someone finds a pedophile. They. should. >> Yeah. Like Disney jail [clears throat] or. something. >> [laughter]. >> Should be an old black guy there. "Come. on, put on the gloves. We're going to. settle this like men." Then you get in. there and [ __ ] Also, at this point. how dumb do you have to be as a. pedophile? It's like if a kid's asking. you to meet at a [ __ ] gas station, it's a trap. Are you not seeing these. videos? >> Come on. I mean, your dick's never led. you to a strange place. No. >> [laughter].

>> Never once. Not a gas station. I mean, like all the videos are at a gas station. or Walmart. So, if I was a pedophile, I'd be on my p's and q's being like, "I've seen the videos.". >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? Right. >> meeting at a Walmart. That's an obvious. trap. Look at my asking. You know what's. funny though? That now it's I now that. [clears throat] I think about it, it's. pretty You know like the bar lets out at. 2:00 a.m. and that's kind of like that's. 3:00 p.m. is the pedophile's 2:00 a.m. True, dude. [laughter]. You know what I mean? Or if you're like. a teacher pedophile, you're like, "Fuck, it's almost 3:00." And you're like, "So, like what what do you. >> [laughter]. >> You guys just going home after this or. what? We can keep the party going if you.

want. >> [laughter]. >> You guys want to do robotics class? Well, that's the thing like we're kind. of okay with is the women pedophiles. Like like there's been like a revolution. going on lately where it's like every. week there's a a a. decently attractive teacher that like. [ __ ] like a 15 16 year old. >> happening still? Yeah. >> Happened like a week ago. Yeah. And she was hot. >> all the time. >> Yeah, well now they're reading too much. dirty neurotica. Yeah. [laughter]. >> That's why they're [ __ ] becoming. pedophiles. >> They also like make TV There's like.

shows about it and it's like hot. The. show's hot. What was that FX show called? Like The. Teacher or something like that with a. Rooney Mara or whatever. >> There was a new book that just came out. about a It's from like a [ __ ] what is. it called? I think it's like Jennette. McCurdy. I think she was a Yeah, yeah. The Disney girl, right? Half his age and. it's about like a 17-year-old seducing. her teacher. I read the whole book. I. mean I. >> [laughter]. >> Well, I was I was going to have her on. I'm on my I'm on my third reread. actually. I can't get enough of this. book. >> [laughter]. >> I was going to have her on cuz I'm like,

"Man, that's kind of wild." Cuz you. wrote the book. You could have It was a. senior. She could have been 18 and like. >> Yeah. You know, then you would have been. But it's just like, you know, so I was. kind of curious, but I read it and it. was a. It was like kind of I mean it was it was. like really [ __ ] up. I I can spoil If. you guys want to hear the ending. But it's like so the story is there's. this chick. She's 17. She's like white. trash. Her mom's like kind of like never. there. Her mom's always trying to find. like the dude that's going to save her. >> Hot. Yeah, so It's already It's already. hot as hell, dude. >> [laughter].

>> White trash is so hot for some reason. I. don't know what it is. >> [laughter]. >> So. she you know, and then she has this. teacher, the creative writing teacher. who like loves her writing and thinks. she's like super smart. And then she. just becomes as a 17-year-old obsessed. with like how he's just like he has like. a you know, a belly. He's a receding. hairline. And how she's like, "I want to make this. guy feel good." And like I'm going to. show this guy how to like, you know, like Oh, like a pity like I want to give. him a great moment. [snorts] She's like, "I love this guy. Yeah. want this guy.".

She's the nicest lady of all time. >> Pretty much. >> [laughter]. >> And then. so she just like sees this guy and he. gives her like, you know, some positive. attention like I like your writing and I. just it somehow just like triggers. something in her where she's like I am. going to base this guy will be mine and. she like seduces him and he carries on. an affair with this lady and with this. girl and eventually leaves his family. for her and then she just like they're. about to go on a flight together and. she's like, "This guy sucks." and just. leaves.

That's [laughter] the whole That's the. ending? That's the whole book. Oh, man. After but they they have like. there's like a bunch of very gratuitous. sex scenes written in it's pretty. >> Oh, okay. They got it. Yeah. It's kind. [laughter] of hot. You just described most bleak book of. all time. >> [laughter]. >> Thank god, dude. But yeah, it was pretty. wild. I read it and I was just kind of. like, "Fuck. That's uh pretty wild.". Like what do I take from this? >> She realizes she like you don't need a. man to justify your existence. Right. Right. Yeah, I'm not just my. femininity. >> Yeah, and the mom goes to Romanics or or.

yeah, Romanaholics Anonymous. Romanaholics. >> It's Romanaholics. >> obsessed with flirting? Pretty much. Yeah. The fact that there's like a guy. that's going to come save you. Yeah. >> There's going to be Romanaholics. Dude, I'm telling you that the the erotica. books aren't even so much about the like. sex as it is like the. two people finally colliding and like. what are the circumstances leading to. that? Is it high class, low class? Well, yeah. Cuz if not, it would just be literal. porn. >> Yeah. >> [laughter].

>> It kind of is like porn comments put in. a book. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's it's more so about like the. it's more about the situation around it. than like just kind of like Right. >> And then she sucked his dick. It's not. that. It's like they're from two. different families. They're not supposed. to see each other. He's rich, she's. poor. >> Romeo and Juliet. He she Yeah, pretty. much. >> [laughter]. >> I like Touch Her and You Die. Yeah. That's about a guy if like someone. touches a girl and a guy's like, "I'll. [ __ ] kill you." Oh, yeah. >> Right. Right.

>> So, they're That's what I'm saying. They're getting charged up off of like a. homicidal guy. >> that? I don't have that at all. I'm not. like protective over my wife in that. way. Uh, I don't [laughter] Like, I I. don't like when she gets hit on, I go, "Cool." I'll get I'll get a little. [clears throat] angry. I was in a casino. and a guy was like he was in a slot. machine like this. And when she walked by, he did one of. these. And he like leaned almost on the. wall. fell Look at her ass and I I like I was. like, "What the [ __ ] are you doing?". It'll get me every now and again. >> sorry. No, I'm sorry.". >> [laughter]. >> You can cross the line, but I was at a.

bar in New York with my wife and I'm. sitting at a bar stool and she's in. between my legs and I'm like kissing her. neck, you know, full lovey-dovey. And. this like black dude walks up. He looks. like Quavo from like Migos. And he comes. to me, he's like, "Hey, mama, you got a. man or what?" And I was like, "I'm. literally holding her." I'm kissing her. >> And she He was like, "Yeah, this is my. husband right behind me." He goes, "I. bet." And he walked away. And my wife. was like, "Can you believe that guy?". And I was like, "That's the coolest guy. I've ever seen in my entire life.". I would have been furious. >> I was like, "That's I The confidence to.

like see what the situation was and be. like, 'You got a man?'" That's [ __ ]. wild. >> crazy. >> That [ __ ] [ __ ] It makes me so angry. Yeah. Now, I mean I was just shocked. I. was like struck by it. >> Dude, I I've almost That's why I don't. put myself in those positions. >> True. Stay away. Never with a woman in. public. >> I'm an incel, actually. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, I don't know. Something about that. really chaps my ass. I was uh I don't. think it's weird. I think it's a normal. thing. >> [laughter]. >> No, no. I I think I'M LIKE ABNORMAL. SOMETHING ABOUT. A MAN COCKING me in public Something.

about a man pretending I don't exist and. trying to [ __ ] my wife for some reason. grinds my gears. Yeah. Hey, you're. really weird, man. >> [laughter]. >> That's weird [ __ ] You got to be more. like him, dude. You got to be more like. me, dude. >> Well, I'll deal I mean, maybe I should. zen out. I mean, it is the fact that I'm. cortisol spiking like that in public is. pretty embarrassing. >> clavicle deep throating. I know. >> are getting to you. The voids [laughter]. No, I I Well, the thing is too is like, you know, my wife's black. So, every now. and again like younger black dudes will.

like try to like. >> me and Devon had the worst reaction to. that? >> I go, "What?". >> We go, [laughter]. "What?". We go Every now and again they'll test. me as like a thing or like they'll like, you know, just. >> And then every I'll I'll completely 100%. Irish spasm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got the Irish spasm before. Sure. Yeah. Once it gets going it's You can't stop. it. It's really embarrassing, too. >> No, I was at like a thing with her like. co-workers one time and like some like. 20-year-old popped off and I like fully.

was in his face like, "I'll [ __ ] kill. you.". >> [laughter]. >> And she was like, "Dude, can you please. chill?". He was like so young. He's like, "Dude, I'm a virgin. Can you please leave me. alone?". >> [laughter]. >> I'll [ __ ] you right now. I'll [ __ ]. kill you. Yeah, man. I have that every time. It's. embarrassing. I I'm going to, you know, I like I'd like to chill, but I don't. know, man. I [snorts] can't I can't do. this. >> You seem so zen. You seem so chill. >> I'm zen'd out, but if I lose it it's. called like it's just a flick of it. It's. >> I'm kind of the same way. >> I'm pretty I am pretty chill for the. most part. I can kind of chill and be. like, "All right, what does this.

actually affect? Is this a big deal?". >> Yeah. Yeah. But every now and again if. I'm in the right mood, you push my. buttons. I got to get hammered to have. the confidence to just scream at. somebody and act like I could fight. >> That's That would be Yeah, that would be. nice. Drinking I'm either like very. friendly, but that is a thing. If I'm. drunk enough and like someone uh it can. be like the littlest thing. I'm like, "What the fuck?". >> Yeah, exactly. There's some flip. switches. [laughter]. It's kind of scary cuz like. >> a sudden like yeah, I think I'm strong. and I can handle anything. Fighting. words don't exist. I'll say anything to. you and I'm like, "What do you I'll sue. you if you hit me." Yeah. [laughter].

Hit me and I'll sue you is always great. >> I've I've yelled that many times. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Hit me and I'll sue you is so nice. >> I go, "Go ahead. I'll sue you. You don't. know how the legal system works?". >> [laughter]. >> Could you imagine like actually. following through on suing somebody? It. makes me laugh thinking about taking it. that far. >> Yeah. >> happened to my buddy one time. Really? >> at a bar in in Pasadena. And he like got. like a booth like he paid for a booth. with like bottles and all that stuff. And he kept inviting girls over. And they're like, "Where are their. husbands?" I like that. He's like, "Get.

over here, shawty." You know? And then. the girls are like, "We're with our. guys. We can't come in." He's like, "Fuck your guys." And the guys got all. pissed. And we had like, you know, die down the situation. We're. like, "All right, everyone chill. Whatever. Blah blah blah." Me and my. friend went to the bathroom. We came. back. He's just getting stomped out the. booth by all these guys. Like absolutely [ __ ] up. Like eggs on. his [ __ ] head. >> Did he Was it the booth? Was it Was it. high ground? Yeah, it was like a table. like a secret like you know like a club. type table. But what I'm saying was it. up higher than like Yeah, yeah, yeah. It. was like elevated a little bit. >> Damn, he couldn't defend the position. It's crazy. >> He had the high He had the high ground.

This is crazy. Yeah. He was by himself. >> Literally siege warfare. We thought we. We thought we like, you know, killed the. situation. It's all good. We come back. from the bathroom. He's just getting. [ __ ] stomped out completely. Bleeding. everywhere. Bruises all over place. He. woke up the next morning. He sued the. bar for like lack of security. Hey. Huge settlement. That's a thing. >> Did he really? Bro, I think he got like. a hundred fifty thousand dollars from. this bar. Wow. Lawsuits rule. >> Yeah. Isn't that crazy? I sued Postmates. back in the day. >> what? I just They They banned me for.

stealing food. So I I I sued them. And I. won like twenty-four thousand dollars. >> What? Yeah. It was kind of crazy. I mean. it I'm you know, I'm exaggerating a. little bit but like yeah, they like the. app banned me and then I I You know, you. get like those mesothelioma You just. sign like an email. >> Yeah. Oh, it was a class action lawsuit. And one day I just kept getting calls. from some law office in Chicago. And I'd. be like, "What the What is this?" I kept. ignoring it. And then finally they got a. hold of me. And they were like, "We. think you could go to arbitration." And. this I was like, "Oh, this is like a. real thing. Why am I" I guess I signed.

something that most people don't. >> Yeah. >> So I put myself in a situation where I'm. like, "Yeah, sure. I'll actually like be. a part of this.". >> Why did you get fired again? Oh, you uh. uh You stealing food? You take Get an. order and then cancel the order and then. eat a meal. I had like I You know, >> a genuine reason to [ __ ]. >> Yeah, but it's a No one's working for. them. True. So, I'm like [ __ ] with my. phones going to like not. >> were you delivering for them or ordering. and canceling? >> Yeah, I did Uber I would do them all at. the same time and like. >> And you would they would have an order.

and you would just be like actually I'm. not going to take this to the person. Yeah, sometimes I mean, technically. Postmates I didn't steal the food that. often. Uber Eats all the time. Uber Eats. constantly. [laughter] I'd call. I I figured out that they didn't track. your like car or your who you were and. it's just some like sad lady in like the. Philippines picking up the phone. So, I. would at the end of a night at the end. of a at the end of a long day of. delivering food cuz you get If you. cancel the order, you also get paid for. the mileage, too. What? >> Like like Well, we're sorry like.

>> to the restaurant and you go like I. can't do it and they're like oh, it's. okay. Your car is broken. Fine, just try. to get back out there. And but I So, so at the end of every. delivery shift, I would like work You. make like 60 bucks at working like 9. hours. It's terrible. No one tips. Just. delivering to like celebrities and I tip. I always tip my Uber Eats driver. >> Thank you. Thank you. It's appreciated. >> ever deliver food? I was a pizza guy for. a while. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. So, you have the empathy. I have. the empathy. I tip the [ __ ] out of them. Yeah. It's crazy. So do I. Why wouldn't. you? Same. They're risking their lives.

just to bring you the food. >> And you see the service charge. I think. the service charge gets people being. like [ __ ] them. So, I did as a pizza. guy, it was the same thing. It'd be like. there was a delivery fee that the. restaurant would pay. >> Yeah. Yes. >> get my my uh, my tip. So, like. [clears throat] it was like my version. of like giving myself a little nice end. to like a long day. So, I would pick up. I'd wait for a huge order. Like a. gigantic I'd like feed my friends. >> [laughter]. >> And so, I'd go pick it up and then I'd. get in my car and drive a little bit. away from the restaurant and then I'd. call and be like my car broke down. It.

was kind of fun. I got to like pretend. like to act and stuff, too. I'm like I. don't know. It's just my car. you know, the engine is smoking. It's. Yeah, I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm dead. >> [laughter]. >> And they go, "Oh, it's okay. Just try to. get back out there." And then they. cancel it. I get paid for like, you. know, an 11-mile drive, and then I get. to keep all the food. I did this like, I'm not kidding, once a night for like 7. months straight. And but I I felt bad. initially the first time I ever did it. And then I found out that like the. restaurant, they still get paid like. it's it comes out of the like Uber.

Yeah. >> Like it's not like like the people have. to remake it, but they didn't like they. don't lose their money or whatever. The. dude eventually gets his meal, just a. little later, and he'll be fine. >> yeah. And then yeah, that's kind of. sweet, actually. >> Yeah, it was I mean I I you know, I'm. not like super proud of it, but Sorry to. interrupt the podcast, guys, but this. episode is brought to you by PrizePicks. Shoot your shot on PrizePicks and get. $50 instantly in lineups when you play. your first $5. That's right. PrizePicks. is now giving you $50 in lineups when. you sign up and play your first $5. PrizePicks makes every dunk, every dime,

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the good news is I'll be in Cleveland. and Pittsburgh this weekend March 6th, Cleveland March 7th Pittsburgh. And. I'm not fronting. I think both shows are going to sell. out. So, if you want to come. here's your CTA, your call to action. If. you want to come to those shows in. you want to come to those show almost. called it Clitsburg, that's crazy. Cleveland, Ohio or Pittsburgh. I already slipped. Um. yeah, just come. You can get my tickets. I think there's a link in this video to.

pretty sick. And. also after that I'll be in St. Louis, Missouri, Indianapolis, St. Paul. Missouri, I guess that's MO Missouri, Des Moines, Iowa, Phoenix. Here's the. big one guys. All of them are selling. pretty well. God damn that Phoenix. Celebrity Theatre is it's not till. April 17th. So, we have some time but. that show's in the round and actually. enjoy performing in the round. So, if. you want to see my butt for like good 10. second stretches while I I do my thing.

and you know, I'll turn around. I'll. show you my bulge at the Celebrity. Theatre as well. It'll be butt and bulge. all night at the Celebrity Theatre. Just. [snorts] an angry little micro bulge. I'll wear some joggers that night so. everyone gets their money's worth. They. can all go haha. Look at that. It's. barely sticking out. Guys, I'll be in. Tucson, Arizona. Toronto's a big one. Two shows again, not bragging, nature of. the beast. Two shows both have sold out in Toronto. I'm thinking about adding a third, so. Canadians, I know I've said a lot of bad.

things about your country. I was just. [ __ ] kidding around. I love you guys. You guys love me more than all these. bastards in [ __ ] Phoenix, Arizona, apparently. So, come on out to the shows. and then Chicago, of course, will be at. the Riviera Theatre. Probably going to add a second show. there, hopefully, cuz that that thing. done sold out. May 26th, so whatever. Hopefully that makes sense to you guys. Go to mattmccusker.com. And uh yeah, come to a show, man. We're. having a good time. Also, I'll be doing. Algonauts in Austin, Texas. That's once. a month I do that where we me and Tim.

Butterly take people's cell phones, project their algorithm through. Instagram, usually on the screen, and. you know, try to get a picture of like, who is this person? What are What are. they What is the algorithm being sent in. that or what is being sent to them. through the algorithm? What does that. say about them? What doesn't it say. about them? Cuz you can't just judge. someone on their algorithm, or maybe you. can, I don't know. Come out to that. That's at the Creek and Cave Creek and. Cave. Uh so, if you go to. creekandcaveatx, you can get that. And. last. and. I don't remember the saying. Last and. s- cool enough.

Guys, I'm tired. Last and. most importantly. um Noble Bomb. I'll be in Philadelphia. on March 16th. I'm going to I'm I'm just. visiting family, figured I'd strut my. stuff. on the old flagship stage that is Helium. Philadelphia. I'm going to get some of. my friends and we're all going to try. newish material, stuff we're working on. It'll be fun. Come out. It'll be St. Paddy's Day weekend and you can get. drunk if that's what you feel you must. do. And if you're trying really hard not to.

be drunk, well. try to hold out. Come to the show, be. sober. You know. Be fun. Learn how to be fun while sober. or get [ __ ] hammered on St. Paddy's. Day. It's really up to you. All of these I'm. laying out choices. That's all I'm. doing. I'm I'm not trying to coerce you. I'm not trying to manipulate you. I'm. just giving you choices. Do whatever you want. Love you guys. Back to the show. Pardon the interruption. Pardon the. interruption. This is Sean Gardini. I. just wanted to let you guys know that. I'll be in Salt Lake City, Utah at.

Wiseguys Comedy Club. March 27th and 28th. with Nate Marshall. So, please come see. that show if you'd like. And I'll be at. The Comet in Cincinnati. Not Comet Ping Pong, just The Comet in. Cincinnati on May 22nd and 23rd. So, please come to those That was a. little joke there, but I'd like I'd. really like to see you guys at the show. So, please come if you can. Tickets are. at seangardini.com.

And we also have Optimum Noctis. at The Creek and The Cave in Austin, Texas, me, Nate Marshall, and Lamar Lee. every first and third Tuesday of the. month. So, thank you very much for your time. Pardon the interruption. Enjoy the rest. of the show. No, I I I worked for. Insomnia Do you guys have Insomnia. Cookies? Yeah. Well, I know, not in LA, actually. >> it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I worked for. Insomnia Cookies when I was in college. I had this idea that like I was like, "Dude, I could totally stay up all night. one day a week and be fine." So, I was.

like, "I'll work during the day, go to. school, and then I'll stay up all night. and deliver Insomnia Cookies and just. ride it into like Tuesday.". >> [laughter]. >> I was like, "You don't have to sleep. every night." If I do one. >> worst version of hustle culture I've. ever heard. >> [laughter]. >> I was like, "If I just do one. all-nighter a week, I'll nap, I'll be. fine.". >> Totally. And uh I did Insomnia Cookies. and you know, so I would go in there and. and I wanted to do my bike and they're. like, "We have enough bike delivery. people." "You have a car?" I'm like, "Yeah, I have a car.".

So, I I get this big order. I put it in my car. I I I like pull up. to the place, pop my tire on like the In. Philly has a lot of these like metal. lining to the curbs. So, I don't know. why they do it. They'll do like a curb, they'll put like a coping on it. And. [snorts] uh. and I just popped my tire cuz one of. them was sticking out. I was like, "Fuck." So, I'm like sitting there with. a popped tire. I call Insomnia being. like, "Yo, my tire's popped." And. they're pretty much like, "Yeah, let's. figure it out.". I was like, [snorts] "Fuck." So, I'm. like, "Okay.". >> No support whatsoever. And then, you. know, it was one of those cars that had. like the hubcap key where you needed to.

get like a certain thing from inside. even take the tire. And it was just like. I was stressed out, all right? It was a. very stressful night. And uh yeah, luckily this old black guy came up was. like, "What the hell are you doing?" And. he was like he saw it. He goes, "Oh, that's a Mercury I had the soft top. Mercury Cougar. Okay. >> like old black dude sweating the [ __ ]. out of the car. So, they were like, "Bro, you need the hubcap." So, this old. guy came up. He knew exactly what I. needed. Pause. And like hubcap. >> [laughter].

>> He's walking over you zipping down his. pants and like, "Oh, what you doing, man? >> [laughter]. >> I know what you need." He dude, he he. completely dad mugged me and he like. knew he was like. >> [laughter]. >> he got the he like, "You need a you need. a security key." He showed me. He took. it out. And he like, you know, pause. again. And then. >> [laughter]. >> he fixed the tire. So, he fixed the. tire. So, you know, my black daddy came. fixed the tire. And [snorts] then um so, I go back to Insomnia with a bit of a. chip on my shoulder now cuz I'm like And. they're like, "Oh, are you ready for. more deliveries?" And I was like, "That's all you guys care about, huh?". Cuz I I hadn't slept [laughter]. I hadn't slept all night. So, I'm all.

sensitive. I'm like, "You guys don't even [ __ ]. care about me, do you?" There's nothing. worse than like. >> [clears throat]. >> working at a job and people care about. the job. You know, your higher-ups, you. know what I mean? I worked at. Abercrombie and Fitch. Did you? Come [snorts] on, dude. >> Was that shirtless or was that. Hollister? >> They asked me to do shirtless and I said. I can't do it cuz it's like 100 bucks a. day. I was like, "That's not the price.". >> Yeah. >> To be shirtless in a mall? That's. [ __ ] no. >> my I didn't know him in high school. We. stopped hanging out with a guy when he. got a job at Abercrombie and Fitch. >> Really? I mean, we're kidding, but we. were kind of like we we really like.

brutalized him for doing it. I don't mean to be I got I got. recruited. Woah. Genuinely. By three. different Abercrombies. I'm walking like. a community college campus. People are. like, "Do you want a job?" And I was. like, "No, I'm good." And then the third. time I was like, "All right, I'll take. the [ __ ] job." Really? Constantly. happening. And then. >> You went, "Thank you, Mr. Wexler. I'll. be glad to. >> [laughter]. >> But dude, I I yeah, I worked there for I. think 3 weeks. Damn. Worst job of all. time. It's like 4-hour shifts. It feels. like it's 10 hours. They pump the. perfume through the vents. You're like.

nauseous, headache. >> Retail is the one job I've never worked. at. Anytime you're hearing the same song. over and over again, stacking pants. >> People who work retail, I'm like, why. are you doing this? S- Work anywhere. else. Yeah, it's it's People get addict-. There's some people I know who just do. retail. Like the clothing stores. A lot. of younger women do it cuz they can get. the discount and they can get their. clothes. >> Yeah, right. But yeah, it always seemed. like super [ __ ] miserable. Well, dude, [snorts] yeah, so I'm working. there and like. I also got like class action like checks. from these people all the time because. they were just fully illegal, you know?

Like so, I like I get the job, they make. me buy an outfit. Like you have to dress. head to toe in Abercrombie. They make. you buy it. So I had to spend like $140. on an outfit. >> a discount. That wasn't it. It's not. It. was like 20% off. >> What? It's an expensive store. And I was. like, [ __ ] 19, you know? >> Yeah, that's kind of brutal. >> remember like I went, the manager was. like this like really like. gay guy, you know? And I go and I put my. shirt on. I wear a large. I like bag. your clothes. And he goes, "It's not. small enough." Oh. And I was like, "For. real?" And he goes, "Yeah, tighter.".

Put a medium on. He goes, "Not tight. enough.". >> What? And I was like, "What? This is. crazy. You're like I you you're raping. me right now, [laughter] you know?". That's crazy. I go put a small on. Dude, my arms are cutting circulation off. And. he's like, "Perfect." Yeah, there's no. space in there. And then they make me. like pose for photos for like the. employee catalog. I've no [ __ ] clue. what's going on. But I'm truly in a. shirt that's like killing me and pants. that are killing me. And then I just had such a weird vibe. from that that I was like, "I can't do. this job." And I put my 2 weeks in. I. was like, "I'm out of here, you know?". Yeah. And then um.

that manager came up to me. Fine, you. can wear a medium. No, for real for. real, dude. It's the worst thing I've. ever heard in my life. He heard that put. my two weeks in and he comes up and he. goes, "So, I heard you're too good for the Fitch.". >> [laughter]. >> Wow. Dude, I went Dude, I quit now and I. left. I just left the store. Too good. for the Fitch. I was like, "You're the. worst person I've ever met, dude.". >> [laughter]. >> So, heard you're too good for the Fitch. This is like a guy who's like a career. manager of Abercrombie.

>> He's probably the regional Yeah. >> Dude, he moved from Salt Lake City to. Glendale, California to like manage this. Abercrombie and Fitch. >> is the thing with retail. It sucks, but. if you become like a, you know, regional. or whatever director, you you kind of. have like a cakewalk the rest of your. life. You just get to drive around and. check on stores and you get paid like. 100 something grand a year. >> Yeah. I mean, I know people that like. make a really good living just like they. work their way up at like In-N-Out. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. I knew I knew a dude who did that at. Target like years ago. And he was just. like the regional VP or something. He. just He's like, "I just drive to. stores." And I'm like, "Man, that looks.

good.". I don't think I've ever had a good job. No. Like never once. Uh dog walking was. sick, but I I think the boss. >> not good though, right? Yeah, money. sucks. I'm saying I've never like once. had a job where I'm like, "I could do. this." Yeah. No. I worked on a weed farm. for a while. It was kind of fun. >> That's kind of chill. >> just smoke weed and trim and [ __ ] like. that. >> I painted with my friend. That was nice. We painted houses. Yeah. That was. actually pretty I actually like kind of. liked that and I got paid, you know, decently. Oh [clears throat] dude, the. uh I forgot to tell you so the the uh I. just completely forgot.

The. uh what you want to call it? What's it. called? Insomniac cookies or whatever. Mhm. So, then when I pulled back up and. then I can tell they didn't care, I went in and they're like, "You Can you. take another order?" And I was same. thing. I was like, "I'll take an order.". I was like, "I'm taking this right home. and eating it, but like yeah, I'll take. it." [laughter]. So, I take your order and I'm like, "All. right, I'm going to go give these to my. roommates for any cookies." And then I. like forgot my jacket and they were. like, "Oh dude, can you take another. order and like a bunch of milks?" And. they hand me like a [ __ ] massive. cookie order with a bunch of milk. And I. was just like, "I'm definitely taking. this all home.".

So, I went home to my I just left and I. was like I right, I'm going to go back.". And I was like sitting there eating. cookies with my roommates. And then I had the phone numbers for the. orders on the little slip. >> Yeah. So I started calling them and. being like, "Yo, I'm outside. Where are. you?" And they're like, "Huh? I don't. see you." And I'm like, "Oh, come. outside, man." And they're. >> [laughter]. >> like, so I had this guy walking around. looking for cookies. I was like 19. And I called him and I. was like, "Yo, I was like, oh dude, I. had to spin the block. There was a bunch. of like really shady guys standing. outside." And he was like, "Where?" I'm.

like, "I don't know, dude. I think it. was like a gang outside." You got to. watch out for those guys, man. They're. always trying to steal my cookies. >> [laughter]. >> And he was like, "Uh, uh, uh." And I was like, "Just keep. coming." I'm like, "Wave your Are you. Wave your arms so I can see you." So the. guy was just outside. I had him doing. all these like weird like calisthenics. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> You're like, "I think the Bloods are in. Ambler, Pennsylvania.". It was It was University of Penn. Got. you, yeah. >> like, "Dude, there was these guys out. there. I think it was like a gang, bro. What the hell?" And he was just like, "I. don't I don't see anybody out here." I'm. like, "Yeah, I'll be back, man. I got to. spin the block.". >> [laughter]. >> Dude, for my own safety, I'm not making.

this delivery, dude. I can't do it, dude. I might die. But then I called the headquarters of. Insomnia as one of the other deliveries. that never got ordered. And I called. like, "Hey, my order never came here.". And they were like, "Uh, you know, blah, blah, blah." And they're making all. these sayings. And like as they were. like, "Hey, we'll figure it out." I was. like, "I probably shouldn't eat them. I'm so [ __ ] fat anyway.". >> [laughter]. >> And they were starting being like, "Oh, come on, man. Don't say that." I'm like, "No, I'm a [ __ ] I'm a fat piece of. [ __ ] I just shouldn't even have I don't. Probably the weirdest shift that guy's. ever had.

I'm like, I think I have to talk to. [ __ ]. He's going to kill himself. I think I. don't know. The store finally called me like an hour. later like, "Are you okay?" Yeah. >> "Yeah, I'm chilling." And they're like, "Okay." And they just hung up. And I was. like, that was the end of that. I used. to deliver whip-its to a drug addict in. my Compton. >> Yeah, cuz I don't even understand you. can go to a smoke shop and just buy like. whip-its. >> Yeah. And there's. >> galaxy gang. >> somehow like it's like I guess the the. law like is like, "Oh, no, people also. just love whip cream in stock. [clears throat] or something." Like I. don't know. But yeah, and this guy. tipped very well. He would literally.

answer the door like a Breaking Bad meth. head like in a robe. Like, "Hey, guys.". And like grab this big package of like. yeah, whippets I would get him from like. a smoke shop. For like Uber, it was just. it was a legal Dude, apparently. if you do whippets all the time like. that, your body just stops producing. vitamin B12. Like it like [ __ ] you up. That's why people don't care. It puts. holes in your brains, too, right? Like. your brain has like weird spots in it. from I don't know. I don't know. Probably. The biohacking whippet addict. It's like you got [laughter] to. supplement with the whippets.

Well, there's a there was a lady who. went like paralyzed. Like she had like. legs stop working. Cuz I think it's. something to do with your body not. producing like certain things and like. it just shuts it off. Dude, that and do. you ever [ __ ] with 708? No, what is. that? 708 is and it's funny cuz I. brought it up one time cuz I just like. found out what it was and I like brought. it up on a podcast and never finished. talking about it. So people were like, "Dude, whatever you do, please don't do. it." It's like 708 is kratom that's been. like processed and refined. Almost like, you know, there's like Percocets and. then OxyContin. It's like the same.

ingredient, but you just make it super. strong. So. 708 is the [ __ ] they sell at gas. stations that's like stronger than. morphine. Yeah. >> can just go buy it at a gas station. It's insane. So like people go there. So. you're there, you know, you're at the. gas station. You're like, "Yeah, let me. get you know, let me get some Zyns." And. those guys Some of the guys would be. like, "Oh man, try the 708." And you. people are like, "What's it like?" It's. like it's very chill. Mhm. And there's. [clears throat] dudes that start doing. it and they become literally they got to. go on like [ __ ] like methadone to get.

off of it. Crazy. Jesus Christ. It's. like the smoke shops were selling spice. for a while. It was like the fake. [clears throat] weed and people were. having like seizures and [ __ ]. >> talked to people who do like a lot of. drugs and like meth, heroin, they're. like, "Dude, K2 is [ __ ] up." Yeah, dude. Which is, you know, same thing and. it's like that's it's a big jail drug. People do they would do K2 in jail cuz. it's like they don't have No, No, it's. spice. It's. synthetic weed. Called deuce. Yeah. >> So it's like crush like yeah dude we're. smoking deuce and like you eat my friend. who's done literally every single drug. you can imagine is like bro I don't.

[ __ ] K2 is [ __ ] up. Yeah. Yeah. I. mean I can't smoke weed even like You. should try spice once. You think I. should? I'll lose my [ __ ] mind dude. >> who could smoke like ounces of weed and. they would have they had like they would. go on probation they would smoke spice. and they were like bro that was [ __ ]. up. >> weed he turns into like the Kony 2012. guy who just starts jacking off or. something. >> [laughter]. >> It [ __ ] you up. Dude it [ __ ] me up in. a crazy way. Last time I smoked weed I. was probably like 24. And.

my friends from Cali I was living in New. York they sent me like a weed pen. I. ripped it twice. I was up till 5:00 a.m. crying. >> [laughter]. >> cuz I couldn't remember like Alan. Rickman's name. I'm like in bed with my wife I'm like. what's his [ __ ] name? She's like who? And I'm like in Harry Potter. And she's. like Daniel Radcliffe I'm like you [ __ ]. NO. I made her go on like IMDB and she goes. Alan Rickman and I go yeah. Oh god I love weed. Dude truly and then. like I I like that same night I was like.

such a cliche I was like watching Family. Guy to comfort me. >> [laughter]. >> I was like I need something like. comfortable to watch. Yeah. I would. laugh at a scene in Family Guy and then. start crying because I forgot what I. laughed at. >> [laughter]. >> Weed does something to me that it's it's. unbelievable what it does to me. I get. Alzheimer's. >> [laughter]. >> Truly dude I get it. I smoke weed and I'm scared you know. There there is something scary about. that though cuz I I used to smoke weed. constantly and like having like the. coolest thought ever that's going to. change your life and then 2 seconds.

later going. wait what was that? >> Right yeah you forget it. What the [ __ ]. is going Yeah you do get like it is So I. do that and then cry like a baby. >> [laughter]. >> I'm like way too emotional it fractures. me dude. >> [laughter]. >> I used to get I'd. get. be like so high and I'd be in the. bathroom like peeing and I'd finish. peeing and just be sitting there like. and then I'd slowly [laughter] be like, "Where am I?" I used to I used to smoke. so much weed that I'd get like panic. attacks from them and like but I knew.

how to handle them and I'd like be like, "All right, I'm going to go put my feet. up, get some blood to my head." And then. the next day be like, "That's good. weed." I. >> [laughter]. >> not thinking about like that's kind of a. crazy experience to have had. I would. also on dates when I was younger, I. would get I would get secretly so high. from edibles and go on dates. So I'd be. like a movie date just like chill with. my wife now. We went to the movies one. time in like, you know, middle of the. day and I was like panicking from an. edible. I went in the bathroom and I'd. be like mid-date like staring at myself. in the mirror being like, "Dude, you can.

alter your reality right now. You don't. have to be afraid. It's [laughter] all. in your head.". Now get back in there and enjoy. Wuthering Heights. All right, you have. to. >> [laughter]. >> For your wife and your family, you have. to enjoy it. Like you like you got a. Marvel movie. Yeah. I go back in and be. like, >> [laughter]. >> I proved I think I just hacked my. [ __ ] brain right. I'll never be afraid again. >> I think I'm Iron Man actually. [laughter]. We're immortal. I just found out we're immortal. Yeah, I don't [snorts] I.

rarely I'll like I'm like such a baby. with it where I'll like it's like a. little bit. >> It changed my brain over time. I just. smoked it so much that as I got older I. was like, "I I why am I doing this to. myself?" I was like, "I'm like nervous. and uncomfortable in public now." It. used to be like the total opposite. Yeah, it just [ __ ] me up now. Yeah, I'm. just not a drug guy at all. I've never. done cocaine. Me either. Yeah, never. will. I don't understand [clears throat]. the point really. >> Never will, never have. I did Molly for. the first time with Devin. That's sick. New Year's, yeah. And uh Molly's chill I. think. I lost my mind. Did Well, yeah, at a party it'd be tough but I feel like.

was it a party or you guys just. chilling? >> in Joshua Tree. It was sick. It was. actually great. We were alone. It was. just the highest. It was just me and. >> [laughter]. >> HOLDING EACH OTHER. WE BECAME ONE. I'M CARESSING his back. No, Molly with the bros is nice though. It was me and all my like high school. bros and Devin and uh Everyone's. drinking too though, so you're not. really getting the full experience. >> yeah, dude. >> The kicking on Molly does it it it's. actually this is kind of embarrassing. cuz I've I've only ever Well, this isn't. the embarrassing part I think, but I've. only ever taken it with my wife. We go. to a hotel room, we take it, and we just. like chill.

>> That was the best part though. That's. chill. >> Yeah, that was great. >> When it kicks in, I need her to like. hold me cuz I it like it hits me so hard. that I'm. >> Do you shake? Yeah, it No, when it hits. me Yeah, well, the first time I ever did. it like earthquake like the whole world. started shaking and it came on and I. like. >> You ever seen like butterfly effect? Yeah. You know when he like transitions. to a new timeline? That's how Molly hits. me. The whole world's doing this and I. was like, "Holy [ __ ] this is the most. scared I've ever been.". >> Yeah. Yeah. The high was cool, the come. down was the worst I've ever felt in my. entire life. So, yeah, I The come down.

for me is not bad. >> have a problem with it. I learned if you. just have if you just smoke a little bit. of weed during like a vape pen during. the come down. >> mind. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. But like you got to that's My. brother was like, "Just sip it from the. vape pen. Just have a little bit." That. actually did help. Last time I did it it. was like. the come down was kind of nothing. I. went out and I ate a huge meal. >> Sam, Sam, I felt like really happy. actually for about a week after I first. did it. If I if I if I cope with the. come down with weed, I wouldn't be here. today. >> [laughter]. >> I think it would actually kill me. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean the the come down can be I. I could see it being kind of. uncomfortable. Dude, I felt like I was. uh going down a roller coaster for 3. days straight. Really? Like that like. body anxiety, like my my stomach's in my. throat. Really? >> 3 days straight. >> My I think my baseline is so low and. depressive that like the Molly wear off. was like, "All right." I I still feel. like I'm like he hates when I I discount. that it's the Molly that gave him this. feeling. We were like binge drinking for. days on end. There's like nothing worse. than alcohol like it makes me I have.

like visions when I'm hungover and [ __ ]. Dude, I'm the same way. If I drink. heavily for if I especially if I like. tackle like two days together, I'm like. anxious and depressed for like three. days straight. >> Yeah, I mean it didn't help for sure, but uh I've been hungover a million. times. I've never I'm hungover right. now. True. So, you know, >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. I don't I feel all right, you. know. Okay, that's fair. But now I I. think maybe the Molly by itself, if you. ever try it completely by itself, I. don't think it's that. It's pretty chill. actually. >> Yeah, the first time I ever did it I I I.

had like two tall cans. I was like, "This sucks." And then my friend had. given me. a bag of Molly cuz I was very depressed. about Kobe dying. >> [snorts]. >> And he was like, "You got to get You got. to get out You got to get out of this. funk, man." That's It was He's a great. guy. >> yeah. Love you, Mark. That's so funny. >> Yeah. Yeah. And we were all going to do. like It was very. We were all going to do like mushrooms. and then it just kind of fell through. and I was just kind of like, "Man, [ __ ]. I wanted to like It was in the pandemic. We were all stuck inside." So, I just. kept like dipping into this bag of Molly.

throughout the night and then it all hit. at once and everything shook and it was. like crazy and I vomited and then I went. into the bathtub and just like kept. feeling like the tub and [ __ ] and then I. just stayed up all night watching Kobe. highlights and just going like this. [laughter] like in front of the TV. It. was amazing. It was like amazing. Everyone else hated me cuz they I kept. vomiting and. >> [laughter]. >> making their lives horrible, but I had a. great time. No, it was great, man. My. best night was their worst night. It's. awesome. >> [laughter]. >> My friend came up He came upstairs to.

check on me and I was just like doing. this in front of the TV. [laughter]. cartoon character You're like a You're. like a Sims character that's glitching, you know. I went to bed grinning. Like I. remember falling asleep like. >> [laughter]. >> It was amazing. I mean, I've seen you watch Kobe. highlights sober. It's the happiest I've. ever seen you. Yeah, that's sick. Love. him. Kobe freak over here. That's. awesome. obsessed Yeah. That's awesome. >> My cousin played against the Mamba in. summer league. For real? In Lower. Merion? >> a really good Yeah, he was a really good. basketball player and he played in the. summer league and I remember him being.

like, "Dude, there's this guys from. Italy." And he's like he's like I And my. cousin was really good. He was just. like, "Bro, like this guy's a freak. He's definitely going to the NBA.". That's unbelievable. That's the greatest. I met you know Pedro. Yeah. When I. started doing comedy with Pedro, Pedro. said he went to Lower Merion and I was. like, "Can I shake your hand?". >> [laughter]. >> I That was the That was the coolest. thing ever to me. >> My dad went to Lower Merion. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, snap. That's great. Yeah. Pretty sick. I mean Well, guys, I. think we did it. We're at an hour and I. have to go now pick up my kid. Okay. And.

we're going to date. Sick. Little date. Little date with the. kid. Nice. What are you What are you. going to do? What's up? Well, I have two. kids and the one's going to gymnastics. So every now and again when one of. them's busy, I get to do like. one-on-one. Mhm. Uh what are we going to. do? We are going to What's funny? She. already She picked out her outfit she. wants to wear. So she's going to wear. There's like an outfit she got. >> This is the cutest thing I've ever. heard. Yeah, it's great. And then we got. to go to the Thinkery which is like a. kids museum and just like let her play. in there and probably go out to like a. like early dinner. And take her to the. mothership. >> [laughter]. >> Top ramen at Mitzi's.

>> [laughter]. >> So we're going to go I got to go pick. her up at 2:30. What time is it right. now? Oh, perfect. 2:30 so That's great. >> Hell yeah, man. So I don't know why I. said I was I'm just excited. I should. have kids, you know. Yeah, I'm sorry. Just say What's your [ __ ] problem, dude? I don't know. I know. You're. happier than me. It's fine. >> [laughter]. >> Thank you guys. Thank you, man. Oh, do. you have anything you guys want to. >> Yeah, Hey Watch Podcast. >> Hey Watch Podcast. Look us up on that. and Lemon Party. Uh we were banned on.

YouTube for racist content. Oh, so. you're coming back? Uh there's a there's. a much more powerful uh Jeff out there. than Epstein, I believe. >> [snorts]. >> Uh check out Lemon Party. It's fine. It. was just somebody who kept reporting us. or something. >> Are you guys going to get it back on. YouTube's or are you guys You hit up. people, gives you a response. We got. some emails from like our ad people. No. one responded to us. Okay. I don't know. But We'll figure it out. It's fine, you. know. Yeah, hell yeah. Hey Watch. Podcast. Yeah. See you guys. Bye. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane. Secret Podcast on Spotify. Do it.