Ep 527 - The Pillow (feat. Stavros Halkias, Steve Gerben, & Chris O'Connor)

w wow. [Music]. West hello. man' it's good to be here guys we're. here live with stavos Stevie gerby Baby. Chris the okan man oh man God damn. what's going on in the world these days. what a [ __ ]. crew you know I think I think we can all.

agree the most important thing is that. let's start a cult is out on VOD. November 12th in terms of what the. country is going to be talking about and. what's buzzing on everybody let's start. a cult is out a nice dumb comedy on VOD. folks that's what everybody's thinking. about and what what's the date November. 12th I believe I don't actually [ __ ]. 12 I they get it on Amazon or some [ __ ]. Apple you know wherever the [ __ ] you. rent the movie and that's what you want.

to [ __ ] think about did you have did. you have a lot of fun making a. movie did you have fun making a. movie uh yeah I mean was trying to avoid. it but there's no avoiding it no right. yep it's undeniably. funny really to unfortunately it is. really funny T2 T2 is. hilarious yes well yeah we all you did. give us the day off and Force us to go.

vote in Pennsylvania about four times. each I did uh you gave us the names you. told us to pick out gravestones our four. favorite ones and in cast votes for. Trump you could have voted for me that's. true somebody should have voted for me I. wonder what your numbers were like in in. Pennsylvania you probably got some nice. writings for real I yeah I don't know. and they count those As Trump way I just. as me I didn't vote. oh I could have given someone my. vote that's awesome yeah.

I am undeniably a trump. enjoyer there's no denying. that support I'll let the other you know. I'll let the troops handle that I'll let. the Patriots take care of that sure. you're you got stolen Val you got Trump. Stolen Valor most stolen valor on. that someone sees you in a magah hat. they're like where did you serve where. were you in January 6 [ __ ] I'm in. line at [ __ ] sabaro in the. mall did you.

serve where did you vote for Donald. Trump I didn't but I thought he was. funny as well like all right sick. where's your official Donald Trump. commemorative coin where's your official. Donald Trump silver. dollar no I didn't buy it people give me. [ __ ] I have a I have a I definitely have. a Donald Trump $11,000 bill that's gold. and it has Donald jump on it I've got. two of those two separate people have. given me got to be going through the I.

can't throw out all the [ __ ] like old. people that're like well it's something. to leave my family Trump gold Trump is. gonna just appreciate over time like did. you guys remember those those people. that were like um uh they thought buying. Iraqi dinar was going to be like going. to be the next thing that was like a big. foxy once democracy sets in you're right. that currency is going to be worth a. lot oh [ __ ] is [ __ ] they got does Isis.

have a currency Isis is dead dude I. don't know if you remember T1 got rid of. them oh they're still floating around. don't they like a I don't think they're. even Flo Shadow yeah there's got to be. one guy's four with a layer still yeah. he's probably hanging around he's. probably got all the currency now he's. probably got petting a cat and where's. their like stronghold are they really. done I mean they jump around they went. to Africa for a little bit didn't they. yeah I mean isn't that just bah Haram or.

whatever yeah that's the yeah isn't that. that's the Isis J that's how it always. works they always have branches like. that would wasn't Isis Al-Qaeda and. Al-Qaeda was like you guys are nuts yeah. yeah oh damn is that what happened I. believe that's awesome for like got. trumped her Trump situation on their. hands they thought they were crazy and. then a new guy came yeah that you want. to see. crazy we're about to pick a fight with.

America we don't have anything do you do. you think there's any Isis guys that are. into the Joker do you think there was a. guy who came in and Joker makeup. definitely it was like they still love. movies and culture yeah true you know. what I mean like wasn't it like what did. bin Laden had like what was his [ __ ]. yeah he had a movie mov had dude wears. my car in his collection he had Stu for. real I'm not even joking he movies that. was one of the movies he had it on DVD.

it's like it's like Kim Jong-un being. like Kevin subtitles yeah just a. translator stand next to it swear Kim. Jong-un was Kevin. cner obsessed he was like this guy's. incredible bring out and they're like we. can't get him he was like you're dead. wow he executed a guy for not bringing. Dances with. Wolves he was a huge Chicago Bulls fan. ill that was Ill oh that was Ill yeah. mhm he was Elvis right didn't he wasn't. that like a big thing didn't he get to.

visit graand once who Kim Jong-un I. think Kim Jong ill ill was Ill was the. nuke his dad no no the old one yeah un. is the new one Kim Jong-il was no Kim. Jong-un was I swear the new guy liked. Dennis Rodman I think love of the Bulls. go is like a family trait okay the from. the emperor the Sun the GU born from the. Sun yeah yeah yeah yeah I love a fat as. [ __ ] Emperor too man his fits I honestly.

want to dress like him he's and he was. ahead of the curve with like the flowy. outfits and [ __ ] he's like wideleg. trousers that's how like gay guys dress. now that's like cool you go to [ __ ] even. kids all wear that was Kim J big legs. flowy garments dude Kim Jong [ __ ]. dress is awesome I think they're headed. over to Ukraine Russia yes they're all. Jack and they just got the internet so. they're all jacking off to porn they. lost an entire I to [ __ ].

PornHub oh man I mean you saw those. trenches I was showing you could catch a. couple in there you catch a jack off in. Ukraine easy no problem that guy Peaks. around the corner you go oh [ __ ] lit. up oh [ __ ] having a drone fly over you. as you're beaten off as you're beating. off drop a grenade the whole world's. going to see you. going little ass malnourished North. Korean dick do do they feed the soldiers. well I bet they at least.

no right probably not that great I'm. sure they have like 20 of them that are. jacked yeah and they March yeah the. King's Guard like the official guard. probably has some sexy guys out there. but yeah having being deployed because. they're the troops you can they're the. troops that he can do without he's not. sending Russia his number one guys he's. not he's send the guys that are goingon. to get addicted to porn immediately oh. maybe it's a pornography Purge true. maybe they send maybe they [ __ ] jetti. in their horny sold Russia they'd get me.

yeah oh yeah you'd be basically a. seventh grader all over again true dude. you'd get there and be like holy [ __ ]. dude you've been able to jack off you. can watch it you can see sex I mean. remember bang like just jacking off to. bang bust like 30 second trailers on on. like on uh dialup yeah these guys get on. aoam broadband first time St [ __ ] St. staring Elon MOS is giving him the. [ __ ].

all right all right Russ's got to call. and be like turn it off turn off turn it. off yeah no it's shorting. Starling these guys jacking off for the. first time yo I saw I saw I've seen. starlink twice in the sky and it's. terrifying people get scared of it what. is it's just row of like a ton of. satellites in a straight line going. across the sky D and I've I've heard. people like screaming when they saw it. it looks like a UFO it's like the. scariest thing I've ever damn you ever.

see it I I've seen images of it yeah. it's really it's yeah it's not a regular. satellite it's like no it's a ton of. satellites in line interesting. interesting I saw a homeless guy see. spinners for the first time like back in. the. 2002 spr Wells like the spr well rims. yeah that's awesome and yeah I thought. it was very funny like what the. [ __ ] that's got to feel so bad to be. homeless and a guy just has like show. off rim just like two pairs of rims on.

his car that you would K to live in. would to live inside that Lincoln and. this [ __ ] just has extra R you'd. sell that Lincoln immediately for some. drugs let's not act like these guys are. just like oh I wish I had a well he'd. like to sleep jack off and sleep he. would sleep inside for two days right. get warm and then be like I could go for. some [ __ ] right now sell these Spinners. right now the Spinners would go first oh. me the Spinners would go be high as [ __ ]. in the back of that car that's a good.

night the night you still have the car. and you're getting [ __ ] off the. Spinner's money and maybe you take the. radio out too but you have shelter to. get [ __ ]. ins a coup wend I don't think I don't. think those guys need shelter to get. [ __ ] I guess that's but that's they're. going to go find their best girl it must. feel nice to [ __ ] inside for a change. you think those boys are getting a a lot. of [ __ ] I don't no I don't think. they're getting any ever but that's what. I'm saying they're not getting think. call no no of course not what I'm saying.

actually yeah I guess it is cuz they're. all drug addict ladies yeah and. you yeah a roof takes a little bit of. heroin I got some heroin exactly so what. I'm saying I take it back well no I. don't think they're [ __ ] that much. but I think those boys are getting. sucked. [Music]. con what is your theory what no no I'm. just saying they don't [ __ ] that much. but this guy with the Lincoln his first. night sells the Spinners It's the Best. of Both Worlds before he has to sell the. a car whole cloth he gets to have it buy.

[ __ ] for $20 he might maybe 40 maybe. you have to buy it you go I have some. heroin oh true she's in the car you go. you're going to have to give me. head I that's you're not getting any. heroin well I'll kill you [ __ ] get out. of my L they're doing all the same stuff. you're like this is going to last. forever yeah. dude from here on out I'm turning things. around one more hit one more.

[ __ ] and getting a. job dude if you could like bottle and. put that into your like the happiness. that guy feels yeah the first time he. does all like a nice a good quality. heroin and get sucked off that guy that. feels better than anything we will ever. experience I don't know I feel like I've. experienced versions of that time have. you but addiction. oh no I mean I guess giving into your.

vices I'm talking about just like the. idea of like getting one paycheck and. being like I'm the richest guy of all. time yeah but I'm going out I'm getting. [ __ ] yes true but you don't have the. extreme deprivation to like juxtapose it. with you know what I mean going from. absolutely nothing the living on the. street the living on the street getting. no head whatsoever to you know what I. mean unless you've done something. awesome with your money these guys are.

making eyes at each other I'm just. smiling Stephen I'm happy to see him and. I know he's probably spinning in his. head cuz he hasn't spoken yet. no he gave us the Lincoln the rims thank. you I sit here and then I was like if. Shan accuses me of not talking I'll be. like I give you the. whole I got you brother just checking in. I wasn't such an awesome thing it's like. I haven't seen darlink but.

uh you could have guy had a fmri machine. in my brain when he said that and I. thought of the spitter. like said it yes I'm so happy to be ping. you know we I on the record I've been. trying to get you clear of your you've. got like a you've got like so you're the. USSR and he's sabonis and you won't let. him come over you know what me him no no. if he does another podcast before he.

does mine now he's free he's all right. all right I said that on my own terms. yeah you make your own terms trying to. get Steve no I'm saying are you you know. what I mean yes yes yes you're a loyal. man that's true yeah but man I remember. seeing seeing Steve for the first time. maybe it was the original tires pilot or. maybe it was even that it was probably. that right what the king sketch when did. you guys do that yeah was that first two. summers ago right I just remember seeing. this [ __ ] and being I'm like. that's a star.

baby I was like I love that guy I don't. know he reminds me of Tom Cruz that's. what it so what well whatever I'm going. to take that as honest. to I am honest mean you have star. qualities stop you do okay all right I'm. trying to be nice dude I can't tell you. you just said I look like Tom Cruz I. obviously yeah but you wear cool jackets. you want like a leather Top Gun jacket. no I don't in your head you're to cruise. no I don't want a leather time in my you.

are a period of time in my life maybe 20. years ago 20 years ago people Chang I. mean hold on 20 you thought you were. could ever pull off Tom Cruz that's. crazy I remember I literally had a. friend Tom me he's like do you actually. think you're. sexy you still think you're. sexy aesome men can be what you still. think you're why first of all what would. the pro no hold on a second what if I. did who cares oh so that's that's a.

tough admission if you think you're sexy. I'm going to be mad about it why cuz. you're not no I know I'm not but here's. the thing and I'm your friend and I'm. here to help you but you're sexy no I'm. [ __ ] not stop all right that's a good. that's a good that's a good move that's. good Steve good work all right what else. the rav are on if we lose to the Bengals. I'll [ __ ] kill myself I also. distinctly remember remember that I was.

trying to shoot you know some sort of. short and this is again I was probably. like in my late teens and I had a. running sequence and then when I saw. myself run like Chris's joke it's like. oh my God yeah it looks nothing like in. your head you've like pump beautiful. dude I know I I'm not even doing this. just to plug the movie again but I. didn't realize I I wrote this script but. I I didn't realize I wrote myself to. Sprint like four times and I was so. [ __ ] fat that it was like the first. time I was like I'm a [ __ ] athlete.

and I wake up the next day my entire. body is [ __ ] sore from one Sprint of. like full speed and we had to like turn. it up on the you had to like two times. the film to make. it so [ __ ] fat and it just look like. whoa like whoa it looks like stops. booking it and I it's double the speed. I'm like going see the movie just for. that it's like a Charlie. chap like SC yeah. jumping on a trolley dude it's so and.

yeah you look so [ __ ] stupid trying. to run I don't know man I like I like. Steve thinking he's sexy. personally because even though it's not. true right let's put that on the record. it's important physically it's important. when he [ __ ] for him to think he's sexy. sexy that is a Zone I wish I could get. into is thinking I'm sexy because it. doesn't matter especially well [ __ ]. yeah it's for yourself it's it's fuel. while you [ __ ] that moment I've yeah.

I've had a lot of [ __ ] go wrong getting. in my own head for sure I've lost. Direction what happened I've lost dire. what happened there I don't know I. thought about what we were. doing think you allowed me to do this I. got outside of myself for one second and. like completely collapsed but you get in. there and you get in the zone sexually I. could see that absolutely and you go. what we're having. fun I like to have a little. fun I love that Steve is the most.

Shane has your house bugged Shane has. your house. bugged I've got everything I know. everything after tires comes out it's. I'm gonna black him out of all the. photos he's never going to have. existed it also is fun to imagine that. that is the conversation in Steve's head. while he's doing that it's just you in. there with him and he's going what he. DOD bullet tried to get me real good and. he dodged it what happened you know I.

was uh going to probably I knew he his. lady was coming to visit okay and I said. you're going to perform oral sex aren't. you and he was like well you know I like. I enjoy oral sex I was like e shout out. to my another eater yeah yeah of course. everybody. loves hold on yeah. [Laughter]. dog keep that no. oh that thought you B you [ __ ] uh I.

knew Steve was going to be face down ass. up at some [ __ ]. that I knew he was going to be on his. knees eating [ __ ] that. night dud do you really do you [ __ ]. keep your ass in the air no I don't keep. my ass in the air you idiot I can tell. [ __ ] do you lay flat sniper on you lay. flat. oh my God what you do a little hard yeah.

I go oh my God you flat to eat [ __ ]. yeah yeah yeah for sure oh really it. depends how else do you do one leg up or. do you both you KN you pray to God I've. done that that's there's nothing wrong. with that you get on your knees on the. side of the bed yes cuz then you what if. it's a really low bed you could pop up. and stick it up and then go back. [Music]. down this man's a sex demon.

you pop up stick it in and then go o I. want a taste of that I want to get back. down he [ __ ] awesome dude what's that. yeah you got to get that rhythm of like. going pig in the TR I love it dude I. love it get in there Steve that's how. you should you [ __ ] like you [ __ ] like a. R&B singer from the. 90s like how wood floors [ __ ] kill my. knees dude that doesn't hurt your knees. carpet lay down you lay down you're a. prepared l you lay down a blanket or.

sometimes I'll throw a pillow down. sometimes no wow sometimes no sometimes. you say we're getting the pain is part. of the pleasure the pain on his knees. part pleasure so he all day just like I. knew he was going to perform you're. going to think of me and he was. like good Lord cuz obviously I was gonna. and then when it was. over I came out of the bathroom and I. out loud was like yes and she was like. what I was like oh I just and then I. told her what happened and remembered.

while he was in the bath he didn't think. of it during the feeding he was lost the. feeding that's right shut up the feeding. he was he was receiving. nutrients e you are a [ __ ] vampire. dude you. fu yeah muff juice. naratu you needed your nutrients you. need to get your. vitamins your vitamin.

so you eat you eat your vitamins on your. knees you stand up you dip your dick in. you go back don't say dip your dick in. your dick check the oil go back. down you're mocking this like a like. it's awesome dude I support it it's just. funny that you do it you understand but. I love that he's a Liber he's a sexually. liberated man totally sexually liberated. I'm the opposite I'm totally repressed. yeah yeah cathol are you you're you're. Jewish right yeah cult no love that.

culturally yeah respect dude I grew up. GRE Orthodox but I'm Godless as well. yeah and I I think it's but even a. little early religion will repress you. no matter what yeah I mean I think it's. probably a good thing to stay repressed. I think no at least as a kid get a. little repression there I don't know a. little bit I don't like I I got. somewhere to grow the kids jacking off. and being like I'm going to hell yes. that's a problem yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah but if you're like what am I doing. to this woman. right if I'm like losing myself in.

eating her [ __ ] every day sounds. awesome that's cool it does it sounds. nice I wish I could do it but I'm saying. it's nice to know that there is a line. and a limit where I'm not going to stand. up stick my dick in put the pillow back. on the ground and go back down to. munching that sounds cool dude imagine. losing yourself idea you had a. plan no because it's no he EnV you Steve. Steve he EnV you Steve I do en you I.

your ability now do you ever you ever. hit a CP and then go oo it's feeding. time again have you considered it no. have you ever not it no have you ever. tasted your own at his next level I know. you've tasted you never Li it. eat e dude e chicken tenders but no none. of his own [ __ ] pulling pulling the [ __ ]. apart I only eat did part you have you.

seen me do that everybody's seen you eat. you like a [ __ ] pray you like a. praying man it's. crazy you're gonna be so mad when my top. comes off cuz what you're ripped I well. I can't I I've been working on my core. awesome I don't like the way I said that. either but you said but what well I. regret saying all this I'd like to hear. I just saw myself today in the mirror I. was changing I was like Shane's going to. be pissed at me when it comes time to. when you wrote yourself in for taking. your shirt off so did I write that so.

you lifted your abs I didn't write that. I'm excited for it all right what's yeah. I tell me after I don't remember what it. is now we no spoilers we got folks we. got a great season the tire season 2 for. that it's good it actually is [ __ ]. awesome yeah um and I love the part. where you wrote in you eating [ __ ] and. we're showing it we're showing it on. we're showing it Vincent Gallow brown. bunny style you're getting your dick. sucked on scen the whole season is just. Steve getting eating.

whole [ __ ] 12 straight. hours. Steve occasionally he talks to the. camera we wrote dialog he'll pop up and. go hm now that's good delicious that's. good eating he has one line of show and. you got to guess it's a fun it's a. thriller you never know what he's going. to say it's like flea. bag looks turn actually down the barrel. of the. cam I know nobody lik this I'm just. going to say very quick you are so good.

in it stu. oh stop it we I truly can't wait for. everybody to see said that last we're. [ __ ] let's suck our you know not to. suck our own dicks but this is. everybody's I'm surprised we're all good. actors honestly it doesn't make any. sense everyone's what I do like is that. we're it's a ugly ass show and we're all. surprisingly good actors like there's no. sexy [ __ ] you know you below. the Bel below the neckline that's what's. also awesome that look face wise what.

it's a wild thing you got going. on you're like a young Grandpa you know. what I mean you got like you've got a. twinkle you got a twinkle in your eye. thank you Shady no you got a twinkle in. your eye you you're you got Big D eyes I. like that they're beautiful eyes but I'm. saying you you have an interesting jua. position that then when you I that's the. second time I said that you got an. interesting mix and then when you take. the titties out and you're ripped that's. even better it's weird I think that's.

good though you're talking to a guy. whose whole thing is Dazzle. camouflage confusing women into not. understanding what's going on so that. they'll [ __ ] with me you know what I. mean there's so much going on they're. like but something something if if God. didn't Smite you with that arthritis. you'd be oh you'd be a demon he needed. to Nerf you he did God needed to Nerf. you because you'd be [ __ ] you'd be a. problem. in one way think of what you do to.

[ __ ] right think of the disastrous. things you do yeah you wouldn't be doing. this show you wouldn't. be selling rims to get [ __ ] in yeah. absolutely yeah youing. heroin selling your Spinners fuing get a. blowjb from a heroin addict yeah you'd. be you'd honestly just be a a successful. small businessman that lived for [ __ ]. you know which nothing wrong I by some. metrics that's sort of what I am as.

well I'm a podcaster you know I sell and. all I do is try and [ __ ] but you know. it's awesome dude yeah what were you. doing before. tires uh you mean like for work yeah I. was working for my brother what was your. longterm did you have a longterm uh as a. paralal yeah yeah that's what I did I. mean my brother gbin Law Firm best boss. I've ever had I love him so much hell. yeah um and yeah I was doing that and he.

was I mean I worked for him for 16 years. and like I said still do to some degree. but uh he was so supportive of anytime I. would do something he give me time off. and then yeah you were paralal yeah me. too brother oh nice yeah I'm a fellow. Legal Professional yeah yeah. yeah law dude I didn't even grab like I. didn't technically get my degree from. UMBC I I I left with two language. credits and they were like they were.

like oh you're is one of them [ __ ]. Greg dude I could have taken a test to. get out of it and I just I was like so. what happened is they let me walk. because they were like oh you'll get. these in the summer and I was like sure. and then I walked and my mom saw me walk. and I was like that's what I went to. [ __ ] college for I don't give a [ __ ]. about a diploma so I didn't have a. diploma and then my friend was like I. work at this law firm and I was like all. right I'm just going to say I have my. degree see what happens didn't check. turns out they didn't check they were a. completely unethical Law Firm that was.

like that like literally like 2 years. later the [ __ ] the one of the. partners blew his. brains he was embezzling and [ __ ] that's. kind of funny cuz you you ever see that. like there's a comedy schedule they take. the sticker you know how Vans have. stickers with their families on yeah and. they're like it's funny to take off like. Goldstein. Schmid yeah take out. schneiders schneiders out. um and it was a [ __ ] foreclosure law.

firm and I didn't know that and when I. got there I was like well I'm not. helping these [ __ ] take people's. homes so I just was like I'm just not. going to work and see how long it takes. them to fire me it took them a year dude. I just had a job and I was was that one. guy had a lot going on yeah he wasn't. really worried maybe that's what did it. maybe he was like holy [ __ ] this guy. forged his resume losing so much money. got to have principles it was a it was. such a [ __ ] [ __ ] up place what what. what did pargal do I I was I was.

supposed to said hearing dates that was. my whole thing I was essentially a very. specific secretary what did you do so I. was a trademark Law Firm so like I would. do the trademark searches and then fill. out the report then you give it to the. attorneys of the oh and then they get. all the [ __ ] credit you were doing. all the grunt work that's I think that's. what pargal do yeah like all the grunt. work did you ever think of becoming a. lawyer uh yeah like very briefly but I. was so bad like your goal was to remain. apparently no it was to try and.

eventually get a law degree no no it was. to try and do something in the. entertainment business okay yeah um of. course and uh yeah I also had like a 1.4. GPA from Drax oh yeah I forg terrible. student yeah he's dumb as. [ __ ] oh we talked about this I gu that's. like that's like the old Simpsons joke. about milous where someone calls him a. nerd and he's like I'm not a nerd nerds. are smart. just appearing nerd coded but being.

[ __ ] dumb is. awesome one for at Drexel bro might have. been 1 s but it was. definitely what did you what did you. fail the end of of my Scholastic career. unfortun what what was the like do you. remember any like particular Scholastic. failures yeah yeah well I mean all CU I. we talked about last time I first going. to George Washington I felled out of. there I went to Delco Community College. felled out fed out of Delco Community. College and uh are.

[Laughter]. tough uh wa delivered mail then work. from my dad at the business you were a. mailman yeah yeah isn't that hard to do. isn't that hard to like get especially. cuz my vision was really really bad at. the time and so everybody everybody's. getting. mail everyone's getting and and the. issue was I was like uh I forget what. they called but uh it wasn't like I had. a male root it was like I filled in for. whoever was sick always new routee it. was auxiliary mailman dude casual.

carrier was the term casual carrier. casual carrier sounds. like did you have like a Jeweler's glass. to read the addresses no I likey glasses. const like put on take off and yeah yeah. casual car really it does sound like the. Johnny apple seed of a from [ __ ]. public the public bathroom hitting up. Craigslist fuing he Beyonce is taking a. clothes off I've never seen this. commercial front of children that's good.

to have sex and then kids okay everybody. dude [ __ ] uh repressed Catholic dude. let's show those titties off how old is. she now 45 I have no idea that was my. guess too the number that popped into my. head more pervert than I thought D no. you know what actually hold on I don't. know how old be I'm going to say. 39 yeah I'm going to say 39 I'm good bro. just Google what H Beyonce is is yeah I. think I'm going 40 so wait I'm 36.

exactly that's kind of the math I did. she's probably like 41 okay 41 yeah I. definitely remember the uh no I'm not. repressed Catholic the commercial was. the hottest woman in the world taking. her clothes off and it's like oh I'm. getting hard a little and then they cut. the two kids nothing you go okay I. thought I thought you meant kids. shouldn't be able to watch it no kids. are in it oh there two children sitting. there and I'm getting I'm starting to. get hard and then happens dick is hard.

to two kids okay literally zooming in on. Beyonce's ass while she takes her jeans. off that's okay I thought you meant. little boys watching football aren't. allowed to look at be. twins it's twins just like that is twins. it's like the. flash sual mess yeah dude if they've. already got oh you're right twins how's. your dick not supposed to get hard when. you see TW 43 oh was oh there you go. yeah there you go pretty good yeah I I'm.

going say it Beyonce is pretty one of. the one of a a legendary piece of ass I. think we and a beautiful woman who I. definitely o back in the days we're of. the generation where we have a lot in. common with those North Korean soldiers. cuz internet wasn't that available I. mean You' be those guys are literally. what we were and I jacked off to video. like MTV videos I remember 03 Bonnie and. Clyde jacking off to that I. remember there's a video yes no my first.

my first uh's that the movie The. Getaway the. getaway an intellectual there's that. dreel. degree oh my God I did carry a one for G. well that's uh that's where that's where. me and being being horny that's where. actually this side of the the podcast. lines I think I have a little little age. on you cuz I was Squig porn squiggle. porn interesting me too yeah I just.

didn't have I just didn't have cable we. didn't get cable until they got. satellite TV from Grease and my dad got. it and there was no squiggles on. satellite so there's no way to look at. like a a floppy green tit or whatever. through the squiggles you said the. getaway yeah the getaway with Alec. Baldwin and uh who's the. chick. Baldwin Kim Basinger is that where they. met and there was the other girl yeah. the the scene that I was jerking off to.

is like wildly [ __ ] up oh [ __ ] you. show me this is this where they get. kidnapped yeah Al the guy the guy is the. guy is the guy is taped to the toilet. screaming while Alec baldman like [ __ ]. his girlfriend oh my God and I was just. like Middle School like not not knowing. really like not fully grasping what the. [ __ ] was going on seeing and being like. all right I can yeah block this out my. mom just kept coming home being.

rewatching the getaway I. guess now did that [ __ ] you up do you do. it are you into any I don't know it's in. there somewhere oh yeah you showed me. this dude this [ __ ] me up yeah yeah. it's like. really girlfriend who he got kidnapped. and they both got kidnapped I guess. right and the guy's tied to a chair and. hops down the hall and he's like no. Jesus he leans in and the girl's on top. and riding the guy he's like no she's.

into it yeah she totally into it SC like. devastating crazy it's I mean I guess. that's better than jacking off to. someone getting raped while the guy's in. the chair but still not good crazy we. wrote that into tires though and Steve. actually insisted. onet don't let him put the pillow on the. floor Honey you'll never you'll never. recover once the pillows on the floor. like a shark with blood in the water.

there's a single pillow on the floor. gets a drop of vitamin B that SC the. scene I wrote just being like no but it. works trust me every kid in America is. going to be jacking off the. tires you got to get him young that's. all we want. ties to beat off dude there is tits in. every. episode oh there was a bikini episode I. wonder if one kid in America caught a.

jack off oh somebody probably beat off. porn true yeah I don't know but I had. trick-or-treaters in one I mean he he. had to be like eight or nine talking to. me about the show that might jacked off. the car his dad sent him his dad. standing behind him his dad was not but. he did say that like my dad yeah that's. nice you're you're [ __ ] neighborhood. SB yeah all. right this podcast is brought to you buy. prize picks the best place to get real. money Sports Action prize picks run your.

game shut the [ __ ] up. dude prize pick is the best place to get. real money Sports Action with over 10. million members dude it's crazy to be in. the other room. laughing literally just sitting over. there laughing at. me Shut the [ __ ] up with over you guys. wouldn't be laughing if you knew that. over 10 million members and billions of. dollars were awarded in winning prize. picks has made daily fantasy sports. accessible to all you just pick more or.

less on at least two players for a shot. to win up to 100 times your cash run. your game all season long with prize. picks uh so I would you know what I. would think Christopher yeah November. 10th Eagles Cowboys I think saquan. Barkley is going to get way more than 85. yards rushing and good Lord if that's. the number it's definitely that uh. Jaylen more or less than 20 114 yards. passing who the [ __ ] Jaylen Moore Jaylen.

Moore or less oh oh. jayen I was like what the [ __ ] the [ __ ]. is when did he take over I'd say more. yeah the Cowboys you got to go against. the Cowboys and everything at this point. uh you know what that's what scares me. dak's hurt yeah right is Dak out yeah H. I bet you the kid [ __ ] the backup's. going to come in Cooper Rush going to. play a little anyway uh stop you know. basketball Celtics.

bucks on this yeah I know so the [ __ ]. Sixers uh do you think Jason Tatum will. get more or less than 29. Points you're saying. less oh stav's pick less Sixers Hornets. I'm Tyrese Maxi is gonna go for more. than 30 he's the only one that can score. no he just got hurt Tyrus Maxi is going. to. go he just got hurt he's out oh wait for. real yeah yeah when last against the. Clippers yeah you got a hamstring thing.

so Jesus Christ they might not win a. game yeah yeah what they yeah one and. six. yeah uh you can now win up to 100 times. your money on prize picks with as little. as four correct picks prize picks is the. best way to get action on Sports in over. 30 States including California Florida. Georgia and Texas price pick is the only. real money daily fantasy platform with. an injury insurance policy so your. lineups stay they stay in. play even if one of your players gets. injured If your player leaves the in the.

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code drench on your prize pick app this. is it's [ __ ] forever. dude that is four minutes it's never. going to stop it is now three four. minutes price picks better [ __ ] pay. up. dude next we're going to have to put a. tab in there will we go more or less on. the ad more uh that's Cod Dr on prize. pick app to get $50 instantly after you. uh play your first $5 line of prize pick. run your game. [Music]. this episode is brought to you by.

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does that as well it makes you feel like. you're off your ass and that you're on a. perfect mountain when in reality you. might not be on a perfect Mountain you. very well may be on a very very very. very shitty couch in a very dirty house. guys what is my favorite flavor oh my. God it's obviously Baja Blast code red. voltage and original I mix them all. together and I [ __ ] chug them all day. and I just bang [ __ ] out and get stuff. done dude. talk about what game SL activity I'd. play with friends after drinking the.

blend of all the Mountain Dew flavors at. once I mean obviously before we we did a. lot of wrestling last time like me and. all my Bros got together and just like. just chug some out and Dew and just kind. of like we had one of those like dinners. you know a lot of people come together. and just like like-minded people talk. about like-minded conversation we had. like steaks obviously and some [ __ ]. uh we had some salad and like you know. the rule was that like nobody could be. negative we all just got to like share. how we were feeling we all just like. lifted each other up we did that kind of. thing thing then afterwards we went to. the bra the basement and we practiced.

this. like it again it wasn't if you were to. see it from the top of the steps you. would have thought we were making out. but we weren't we were just affirming. each other like right up close to each. other's faces and then tapping tongues. just to seal the deal guys the mountain. is calling you should answer grab your. friends grab a nice Cold Mountain Dew. wherever refreshing beverages are sold. and do the do hey New York City I have. an announcement for you guys I will be. at the legendary venue town hall for the. New York Comedy Festival on uh November.

16th. 2024 uh tickets are doing all right I. believe we're at 974 out of I believe. like 1,400 it's not ideal that you know. that if that show if any that's going to. be a big one so if you could come that. would be great if you have other things. to do I you know I'll submit myself to. my fate and uh you know still like a 3/4. so theater in front of some industry Big. W and they'll judge me thusly and. that'll be what I get but thank you guys.

so much please come I don't know why I'm. thanking you just please come I. shouldn't thank you yet but come to the. show all right guys it's the Comedy. Festival I thought New York City would. be so easy to sell [ __ ] tickets in. there's I was like there's 25 million. people how the [ __ ] I'm gonna sell these. tickets easily it's not the case dude. it's not the [ __ ] case so please guys. please come thank. you I heard about uh I got some gossip. from the country club oh you did about. the woman oh that's right the evil woman. yeah there's an evil woman at the.

Country Club yeah there's a woman that. bullies Steve at the country club she. only once but I he she bullies like. everybody how old is she St uh I I'd put. her at like 55 60 okay okay the bungal. are on the board by the way [ __ ] seven. nothing bungles are you [ __ ] kidding. me but he is stop it's so I'm geted I'm. going to be a good podcas you can. [ __ ] watch it the whole time we got G. dude you're right dude feed the he's our.

Derrick Henry dude just feed feed him. the ball I don't know who that is no no. tell me tell me oh uh what I was saying. is some old [ __ ] at the [ __ ] Country. Club well what I was saying is that you. know doing this podcast it's still a. little surreal of like how far the reach. is of it cuz sure I think I was like one. of the first guests you ever had you up. there banon us for several. years and it was like at the time he had. like a, like what we didn't think anyone. was listening oh believe me.

brother and now like I went to the. country club and people are like that. was really funny we I'm like oh sh oh. wow on the Pod not even tires like the. literal POD at the Country Club. listening to podcast Jesus Christ it's. not it's not [ __ ] he goes he goes to. the poor people okay okay okay yeah okay. and and you were getting. bull sh I was like sh Joy the country. club I'm not go to your poor ass Country. Club did you look into it no I didn't. know I was just making fun of him I I'm.

not going to go to poor people I didn't. know it was a poor people I didn't even. think those exist sure uh but it's not. the rich one it's definitely not I mean. it's it's pricey but it's not like the. elite level5 soon you're going to be. once season two comes out season two. comes out Elite I I I think so Steve. well well because no but it is true that. like we were talking about I'm going to. get you a nice. pillow I'm going to. get I'm going to get you my. pillow dude okay here's what is yeah.

that's that's the other commercial you. do is my pillow [ __ ] eating pillows. gerbon [ __ ] eating Edition my pillow hi. I'm Mike Lindell and I designed the. perfect pillow for Steve gerbin to eat. his girlfriend's [ __ ] now Steve's. girlfriend Steve gin's girlfriend. snatches [ __ ] ready to. eat my bad as soon as I say it I was. being disrespectful. [Laughter].

limited edition gerb and my pills that. would sell that would sell I actually. might give it a shot I might TOS a. pillow on the ground and go I'm g go. Steve told me to do. this that's [ __ ] awesome dude I'm. like down so tell us about this woman. that bullied you man we did it last. time we did it last time but members of. The Country Club dming and reaching out. yeah that a [ __ ] let start it yeah we.

could eliminate her I do I do know her. name now yeah I don't. she watch your back [ __ ] stop being. mean to my friend Steve at the golf. course that'd be so fun to get locked in. a Lial. lawsuit some crazy lady through the. podcast I am a [ __ ] they're talking. about again though and I said last time. though it's a country club full of. attorneys everyone like what are we. doing yeah what's the point of being. that if you can't make your life easier.

with regard bring work into the clubs of. course yeah you don't you don't rle. Dazzle you don't [ __ ] put on a nice. show at the country club no but Shane. was hilarious oh bro I know how you are. when I'm not around oh yeah I'm nice to. people. no no he's like i' love to have a good. time like he likes to be like yeah so. Netflix I mean they've been good to me I. know all the guys in Netflix they've. been great yeah nevering on season 2 do.

I say do I tell people about how season. 2 is going of course cuz they want to. hear and you know it's a nice thing it's. like a reporter in the community you. know what I mean you're [ __ ] putting. job you're a small business owner you're. a job Creator in this community dude. Westchester economy has you to than. booming thanks to you we move the whole. show. here it is a nice thing I think to talk. to people he can't St I'm having fun and. I'm talking to people he's got to come. in and blow it up right. interesting I don't think that's true.

well I'm curious about since you knew. you always wanted to be in entertainment. what was your first taste was it a. school play was it a was. it dress like Madonna and danced in. front of the whole school and he sh his. dick he sh his dick I didn't show my. dick I had stockings on no one of the. dad's went e he got he got. self-conscious not entirely accur was it. was a kid it was high schoolid e that's. a guy and my mom is just like.

more yeah he's D wow you're I had H. puberty I was like 5'2 until my senior. year high school but 52 in senior year. wa that's [ __ ] when did you blow up. like oh that's why you got a [ __ ]. one4 your body probably hurt like hell. you scw a foot you going yeah you're. going through Growing Pains yeah grow. well in western civilization 101. yeah damn and you remember the story I. got picked on uh give it Down syndrome. Down Syndrome kid got your ass wow.

little foreshadowing I by the way I. think. of he grew up yeah he grew up and I'm. him and I hit a girl squirt your brain. went from 52 62 the gr his. [Laughter]. heart should have [ __ ] HED that. kid oh there's a different one oh had. two different kids D bullly SE no he did.

the guy the guy helped me that was a. totally different he was he had all his. mental faculties no he had no he did not. no all right we've talked about before. I'm sorry. but stop stop this is the type of man he. is he's the yeah he wanted to show off. for the girls show see you always always. look at the okay did you or did you not. say I'm going to play basketball with. the special needs kid so maybe some. people will see me do it no so pill and.

then you got humped by everybody by that. kid in front of everybody what what. happened was no he's right in in the the. the smallest degree is like when we. started playing yes that was I noticed. girls looking at me yes but that that. this this Middle School my cousin had. started a progr 411 at the time yeah his. activity period inun for the down play. playing around with with these kids so I. did that in my school I won an award. presidential or whatever award.

Citizenship Award Citi award I took a. picture of it cuz I found the plaque. recently in case you don't believe me. anyway I believe you so oh no way you. won the Citizen. Award Steve gin won the presidential. citizen no it wasn't pres was like he. was like a House of Representatives. allower house the house. chamber state state congress I'll look. it up I'll look it up in a second I do. have a photograph so that was a.

different scenario so then I was so I. was playing basketball and there was one. you know student who he was he was very. heavily. Afflicted Afflicted the boy was touched. in the brain and and yeah he was you. know I noticed girls watching me and. then he made a basket got excited gave. me a big hug and then it turned into a. really really vigorous dry oh manck. security guy had a break. up you know. you know it's so long ago.

so [ __ ] your M remember the aggressive. back rub I got at. theils student so [ __ ] funny it it. was a different student and and this one. was not mentally. challenging this a different F yeah so. this is the third one we're. on well the third they're not attacking. but just just trying to like make a. connection. and brother the third one comes later in. high school okay yeah and this one I.

mean again there was no ill intent the. one in high school had ill intent right. he wanted to the hump the hump no no ill. intent on the hump zero ill intent okay. what happened in high school was the. that was shorty he would just call me. shorty over and over again because I was. short yeah and you know. but was he disabled yeah oh yeah but and. I know you're little nasty ass truck. back one day no there's no way you. C under. a everybody was very like nice to me in.

high school yeah so they're like all the. football. players he was a little jealous I. shouldn't have said the name bleep it. out okay bleep that out um but. anyway g. dog the yeah so the one in manillas I. just got a a back rub that just got way. too and that had to get broken up. too I'm sorry security was called to. break up the back. R the security officer of the school was.

also like the guy that what were you. saying during the backr I wasn't I was. like oh that's really sweet you know and. then uh it just and then and this was. where where where manila's Diner oh at. the diner it was like a field trip I see. I see and and the person was standing. behind you PP he got pumped like a field. trip to a diner with special needs kids. oh were you. chaping no no I was that was Middle.

School you're part of the part of the. gang yeah no you. know it's just shut is have you been in. special needs this whole. time like is that why people love tires. is this on the Spectrum like it is bro. what that's beautiful it is damn so the. Madonna dance was there any dramatic. though did you ever act in a play or. anything like that and that was you. caught the bug there yeah you knew you.

had it well I knew I enjoyed it you. enjoyed being a a showman yeah you did. too don't act like you don't I never did. anything like that you you're a showman. you're constant you're you're a showman. you never did any like acting it's not. lame to like it is no it's not we were. just having this conversation we were. just having this conversation I was. driving to the show today and I was like. we always sit around and are like. [ __ ] stand Up's actually [ __ ] lame. lame it's so much better than much. better so acting is lame no it's not too.

much waiting around I agree both are. good I like both of them I wouldn't. trade it for anything but I'm saying the. way comedians especially podcast. comedians love to be like [ __ ]. standup so stupid I only do it for money. yeah meanwhile it's the best job in the. world incred I had a total turnaround. yeah I love it yeah after acting which. is still fine acting's fun I love it. it's fun and this show [ __ ] rules. obviously we get to [ __ ] around and this. isn't like other [ __ ] like cuz we're. we're real lucky on that but like I did.

when I did the movie which was fun and I. loved it and please buy it on [ __ ]. VOD I really need you to if you're. listening um uh but it was so much. harder dude stand up we just wake up at. [ __ ] 12 we do our act we stay and. especially now where shit's going good. we stay in a nice hotel you eat like a. [ __ ] I'll spend like $40 on breakfast. just like I'll get steak not for long. now that we have. T2 yeah price of groceries you think.

price are going down that's that's my. there's no way they go upan there is of. course there is way become. Argentina I guess we going to. see yeah it would be nice to that's my. the steak and eggs metric the steak and. egg Matrix that's how I view [ __ ]. that's actually a pretty fair honest. metric for real that's actually the. price of eggs. price of eggs is kind of a decent insane.

Yeah it's gotten [ __ ] insane no but I. liked it it was fun what I like that I. like the price of eggs going. up it was I like it it was affecting you. I like it that was really hurting your. wallet was it was it hurting you price. of eggs was no I don't notice no of. course not you sound like a liberal. Elite I didn't even notice keep the. prices. High that's backfired throughout. history oh [ __ ] the mob's angry about.

the price of eggs yeah the meat cake. Chris let the meat cake was throwing. eggs at homeless people on the way over. here yeah yeah that's me get a job you. suck of. [ __ ] act on a [ __ ] $3 [ __ ] get a. writing job on a sitcom you [ __ ]. idiot you never did you do any [ __ ]. any uh D dramatic work dude I was like. you I did a little I did some [ __ ] I.

was in the back stre I was in the back. street boys in third grade saying some. Back Street Boys Tunes nice what do you. mean uh at a school talent show oh okay. yeah yeah yeah [ __ ] and then and then. you know I thought I was the [ __ ] man. I thought I was like dude I'm [ __ ]. cool as [ __ ] were you cool in high. school or were you kind of like funny I. was funny like funny like yeah all right. yeah I was like my school was it was a. MAG School in Baltimore so everybody was. kind of dorks you know what I mean so it. was kind of easy to be a cool and I.

played football and I was like the f I. was maybe the funniest white kid in the. school it's it was an 85% black school. so it was like just being a funny white. boy yeah yeah skyrockets you in terms of. like you have to be the funniest white. person in that you know what I mean. likey we're still doing that. yeah all we have to do is be the. funniest White. black people are way funnier they are so. much funnier dude killing us yeah yeah.

like I lost funniest funniest like you. know person in the school to some guy. that just like works at a bank now you. know what I mean and he deserved it you. know what I mean it's like that's the. difference between white people and. black people funniness um but yeah and. then I [ __ ] and then I was in plays but. then in sixth grade I was like acting's. gay I'm a [ __ ] jock and I tried to be. a [ __ ] athlete and I played I played. football I played soccer and football.

and then uh I wrestled and but then. obviously I should have stuck clearly I. should have stuck with [ __ ] acting. yeah you're never going to be a soccer. star I was bad as [ __ ] just I scored a. couple goals it was one of those like. funny like hey the fat kids I did that. and then I just kept getting fatter so. ninth grade I'm like the fat kid who. scored a couple goals then 10th grade. they're like hm you're much fatter like. you were barely not you were barely able. to play soccer last year you know how. fat you have to be as a ninth graders I.

was yeah yeah even as a child to be like. you can't you're not going to be able to. move that was yeah even with your child. body your body that can spring back from. anything the amount of McDonald's you're. [ __ ] saddling it with but yeah dude. and then so that was uh and then I I. played I played football because the JV. soccer coach gave a kid pornography and. they kind of ruined the season and they. dissolved our team and they let us play.

football yeah yeah not even in I'm. trying to [ __ ] the good news is he can't. matriculate onto the football team we. boys we got good can you keep a secret. so you get. eligibility and you still might get a JV. letter fellas they got us you're going. to have to join the black football team. I know you were trying to play the one. sport they weren't. playing two days are in a week it's.

going to. blow oh [ __ ] dude yeah it's pretty great. but it but you you had you had a bit of. the you were a showman oh I was. definitely a showman Chris definitely. please tell me you tried acting I never. tried acting I did uh I was a stage hand. in high school for a play that my. girlfriend was in at church at church. what was the play uh J the it's.

always birie it's one of those every. time and uh yeah I remember I showed the. first night of the play I like that was. actually showing we like I was just. working you know there for like weeks. and then I did uh I did a ton of. mushrooms and I show Chris is another. secret dumb Chris is a real secret dumb. guy like I don't think it's a.

secret I don't see Chris in looking. intellectual most secret Chris I'm an. idiot no Chris was I guess if few I mean. I guess it's been a. while what I always thought you very. very intelligent and then you tell me. about your life and I'm like holy [ __ ]. but you probably met him when you were. even dumber yeah you know what I mean. you guys were young and [ __ ] stupid. you know what I mean um which makes. sense I mean. uh I think I don't see I guess I just. don't make J is definitely smart I'm not.

being an [ __ ] Chris yeah well same. with G baby little but if you look at. the whole picture also Academia does not. mean you're dumb obviously but yeah but. that's awesome that you were how old. were you how old were you when you. did when I did this 16 okay respect it's. also this yeah my the story of my whole. athletic career is pretty similar well. coaches kept putting me in and being. like this kid is going to be amazing and. then it I'd be bad did you just look. kind of jacked for a kid what did you. look were you like no I just was good I.

just played bad interesting I just like. and they would they would like I mean. the amount I drove coaches nuts they. would just be like what is how do I get. through to this kid what is going on I. like hey that problem sure has. persisted J just it's a lifelong thing. of just being like it doesn't make any. sense interesting that you're you're not. going to get through. I remember I remember even. try the the most I can get out of him is.

angry it's all I can get yeah today. today I just went up there and laid on. he was upstairs in the office I just. came upstairs late on the ground I was. like Kamal. sucks got a nice 20 minute fight I. wasn't even looking at him I was sted at. the ceiling I was like you think. Ukraine's going to be like Afghanistan. was I don't think dude I think the. withdrawal from Afghanistan was a. disaster um yeah [ __ ] guys were.

hanging off the. plane [ __ ] that was. n how did they not how did they [ __ ]. you got to get a fence up dude don't let. Bros hang on the plane on the way out. I'm I'm not familiar with the footage I. just remember Vietnam hanging off the. plane well that was people on the. helicopter grabbing it yeah but AF. Afghanistan took off with hundreds of. people underneath a. giant jumping onto the [ __ ] landing.

gear oh [ __ ] dude yeah that sucks that. is a tough moment to be like I hope this. works I don't know how Landing go. careful I hope I'm in the right spot. like well this I have better odds of. doing this stay sticking around seen a. lot of these planes never on the. ground they got to get up there somehow. that's another guy that thinks he's Tom. Cruz dude that's. Tom impossible yeah would what would you.

do a [ __ ] big ass stunt dude yes he. well for enough money yeah. sure I want Tom Cruz to make a very. small Indie movie at some point and get. off the action I I think he will hold on. I'd love to hear this I want to be I. want a rooll where I'm like Tom arold in. True. Lies an action movie but on the guy in. the van absolutely I think you will get. that you'll Crush that I don't think. I've ever seen that movie have you seen. true yeah it's [ __ ] good it's so good.

yeah I've watched parts of it on like. TBS but I've never gotten through the. whole thing it's a banger James Cameron. Arnold schw it's kind of Arnold's last. Undisputed kind of title run you know. like T defense of his Action Hero title. and then it becomes all this so so stuff. but that one is like it's good it's and. it's crazy it's got like crazy set. Carrera Dia Carrera what you want to thr. pie of ass she had a UPN show that I. jacked off back to the we jacked off to.

kids but was that the lady from uh. Wayne's World yes okay oh yeah brother. what's her name Tia Carrera she was a. real Flash in and she had a porn star. you know Asia as knockoff obviously yeah. yeah I missed that era it was great but. Asia careera was also incredibly. beautiful yeah she was points are. incredibly beautiful lot of them. areer L of that was one of those early. you sound like a pervert knowing their. name and describing them as incredibly.

beautiful that's what I'm saying yeah no. cuz that was one of the early days OB. the whole point is that that's a man. that eats and dips brother a man that. eats and dips call Four Stars incredibly. beautiful double dip what does that mean. you know what I mean I know me sure I. guess I do but nothing wrong with a. little double dip bro. sure I think about the double dip what. is that don't one day you'll get there. shade yeah trust yourself enough to. double. dip oh yeah.

yeah you got spit on it I don't know. once I had a if if I ever had a plan. that would [ __ ] my head up so bad you. wouldn't need a plan it would just feel. right in the moment right and you also. and you're playing to her Rhythm. absolutely her Rhythm yes you know what. I mean yeah it's not you don't need to. play she's going to give you the I saw. that hit you Shane I saw that just. [ __ ] B up you in the. face G gin talking about being in tune.

with a woman's orgastic. [Music]. rym destroy you dude I'm not saying mro. you are the Maestro oh my God py. mro [ __ ] mushro py. mushro and now I'm going to stick it. back in and she enjoyed that she gated. I'm going to get back down and taste her. [ __ ] mro dude that's. awesome um [ __ ] what we just talking.

about there you go I just had a good day. at the. links no I hey honey I hit an 83 oh you. know what break out the. pillow my mood is not depending on the. score but uh do you have a good one like. a special pillow no no oh oh a wedge yes. wait you bought e dude you have a. [ __ ] sex pillow specific posing.

pillow yes no oh the sex pillow to lay. on yeah yeah yeah I know that one. respect that's I mean obviously respect. obviously obviously this is all respect. but it's so [ __ ] weird that dude. [ __ ]. absolutely yeah I mean I don't know I. think you probably got a nice piece on. you but with a little ass dick you got. to go you got to know your angles I. don't have a big piece at all and uh. yeah. yeah hell yeah. dude yeah it's I have it's it's it's a.

reasonable penis no you're saying it's. bad uh I don't think I would imagine you. you've got a reasonable should I just. give you sizes or some inches well the. length I think is fine it's like five. and a half it's great and then but the. girth could use little juing yeah oh. interesting like a bulbous head and it's. not even that bulbous sure well what. should I not be saying that I would. never ever oh okay delete it then don't. delete it keep it in there I have a very.

similar. penis I have I wouldn't say it's long. well you got just have a skinny skinny. small little last I me it's in the same. you guys are just grabing. small. like a little below. average. terrible SP man I wish you the ABS on. the way in the ABS on. so unsettling about hearing that you.

think that you have a similar penis to. mine because now I am interested to know. what your pen looks like it's it's what. you kind of described yeah I don't have. a bulb as head you got me on the head. you got me on the head though I got a. don't take that too literal like it's. that it's that deform bulb yeah but it. just got big fat head lollipop stem my. Bo got. aop how many licks brother one two. [Laughter].

damn so you have a bulbous head and. you're lacking in growth and you're not. afraid to break out the. wedge well that's how you hit those the. deep inside a [ __ ] dude with a little. ass dick you need the wedge dude I had a. tough situation happen where I'm used to. not being able to hit it hit the the. back of the [ __ ] with my dick but I was. finger girl she said deeper and I was. just l. was literally maed out and it's like. what do you want me to do all the time.

yeah get that like asking for two. fingers I physically can't oh damn you. just got to go one yeah uh what if we. got you a. splint we got you a [ __ ] finger expl oh. that's where you break out the toys yeah. that's yeah hell crazy Inspector Gadget. got you know the [ __ ] Maestro yeah he. brings out the Lector and the thing that. used to [ __ ] uh so you have a wedge. and array of toys yeah and I wear a belt.

and I keep the toys on no that would. have I was about to believe you and that. was going to make me so happy yeah if. you get a belt that was both like kept. your form right Carpenter with the. pencil in the. ear it folds out you truly are the. mro not the M I'm not I'm not I'm not. saying for I just want I'm sorry to do. this to you how many many how many toys. are we talking here uh I just have to. take a second to take inventory I do.

let's do that but no let's that cuz we. we're at time but I also just want to. say for the record I just want to say. for the record I'm not claiming to be. like a you know sexual dynamo of course. you're not but doing everything you're a. humble guy but we your friends are. reading we're taking what you what. you're saying and you know we get paid. to analyze things for a. Liv this wedge Talk's got you're the. [ __ ] Maestro it's exciting to be your. friend yeah absolutely. friends dude and you're the [ __ ]. Maestro I think we're all in agreement. right boys three for three Steve is the.

[ __ ] Maestro if I actually thought it. was bad I. wouldn't [ __ ] film it it's awesome. it's great that you do this but could. you answer the question of how many toys. toys. uh I think well if we're talking is the. pillow count as one no oh they're. probably three oh that's nothing good. what do we got V. yeah you got to get a vibe in the mix. obviously Vibes the yeah if you got a. girlfriend it's weird to be a single guy.

in have to like I can't just [ __ ]. bust out toys be like. yeah [ __ ] was on this St you put him in. the dishwasher no you have to buy you. put them in barbasa like they that's got. to be sad though throwing them out. throwing them out you just get you just. throw it out say goodbye say goodbye to. the [ __ ] pie it's like a it's like a a. real totem of the relationship you know. you toss the [ __ ] vibe. yeah so you yeah you get rid of them. yeah and you go purchase new ones yeah.

on the internet yeah I've never used one. never really really it's uh it's not bad. it's pretty awesome it's like your it's. like a gun suit can't I just can't I. can't oh what it's like your it's like a. Gundam suit what's that it's like when. you. [ __ ] you know what I mean like you. have like a blaster on your arm like. yeah and then you blast the [ __ ] I did. that yeah yeah. you're lucky I gave you that. orgasm entirely.

that you're bothers me about it I'm just. like what is nah n you can't look at his. competition en yeah no you look putting. a sight on a sniper rifle dude you know. what I mean it's like it helps you yeah. talk to her yes feel her rhythms oh. Jesus feel her rhythms I know it's [ __ ]. it is [ __ ] gross. I'm sorry man yeah cuz in that moment. how do you not go I should be doing.

anything else I should be like learning. to play. guitars what are you talking about no. once you bring tools in I like while I'm. playing guitar ever I would go I should. be [ __ ] getting [ __ ] that's why. people are playing guitar yeah. absolutely now now you want to likey. everything you do is for [ __ ] that's. the whole of man's of mankind no boiled. down it pretty much is well it's I mean. how do you you're not wrong explain. asexuals oh [ __ ] you got me there. thought Mr [ __ ] open you got me there.

Mr liberal open man really how do you I. have isue playing the non-binary uh no. sex people I guess they don't really. accomplish that much is that what you're. saying I think they're just probably. watching anime accomplish too much Yeah. just they don't you know I think that's. fair honestly I didn't think you're were. going to give a real. response a totally correct answer I. think not doing [ __ ] they're just. hanging out in their bedroom playing. [ __ ] stard do Valley you know what I.

mean a lot of it has to. be sounds like my. day yeah you're you're you're like. you're Ace curious dude I've seen how. I've seen some of your gaming sessions. yeah it's it's close to shutting out the. world yeah girlfriend there just kind of. around to watch Manchester United. rebuild and I go B this is the group. stage of Champions League there's no. time for us to talk all right. I did already secure the group I'm. trying to get young guys some playing. time. here that I do love that's my favorite.

thing in the world yeah it's exciting. stuff what making your girlfriend watch. video games no just I do love the like. building a team oh yeah franchise mode. is so good it is and it all it's. scouting and getting the young guys up. for whatever reason enjoy it feels great. yeah it's because it's like we get to. relive like uh how good potential feels. yeah it feels so much yeah so much. potential potential is so much better. than doing [ __ ] we're doing [ __ ] now and.

it's cool but it's not as cool as being. 20 and being like Someday I'm GNA do. [ __ ] yeah that was awesome I don't know. the open mic days where you're drunk as. [ __ ] and just like you know what I mean. like hanging out like yeah and even. through that video game you get the. feeling of like just listen to me dude. you're going to be great yeah right. right right right you're really talking. to yourself in in Middle School but you. get you get a bunch you get eight. avatars of who you could have been and. you're like if I get these guys then.

maybe I would maybe I did get P going to. put you in the right. situations G babies you're not a. quarterback moving you to White out this. SE stick with the pro those who stay. will be. Champions trust me what your brain fills. in you're just pressing two buttons and. in your head you're you're calling over. a youth to sit at your desk and have.

this convers you're going those games if. those games added a practice mode I. would it's all I would do as a coach. hold the. just guys andu God we literally just. need to have. famili we just need to have children. dude yeah of course the keer hit me with. that one I was in the I was in Austin I. was like [ __ ] I'm drinking [ __ ]. this is yeah he's like bro I don't mean.

this like. mean you got to have a family dude and I. was like yeah know you're such a good. dad well thanks man you unless he looks. like. you [ __ ] dude you're like where' that. wedge come from honey if my son my son. might be a gerby not nothing wrong with. that straight gerby baby breaking out. just keep taking wedge blocks and. putting dolls. over you know I love you yeah I love you.

too what are you talking about you said. earlier today you said I didn't like. you well first of all you're like oh. you're not my friend it's like I love. you so much you you I mean I actually. said you're not my friend yeah and then. he was like yeah I'm your friend I was. like you want to watch Thursday Night. Football tonight he's like I'm busy no I. didn't busy here we are here we are we. did figure out a good way to get him. over here and I'm pumped to be hanging. out with the boys tonight. I feel like very like uh I know like. it's in the show but you feel like.

family but I think it's also for like. everything you've done for me so you you. are my family bro yeah that's [ __ ]. beautiful man I still don't want to go. to a bar tonight we're definitely not. we're not going to Bar no one's going to. a bar watching we're going bar we're I'm. going to go home and make. chicken we could order some there you. go you can make chicken yeah that's good. yeah got and then I think I think all. this talk about pillows and wedges uh oh. no no not how long does it take to make.

the chicken uh put in the oven you go. we've got 20. minutes uh oh I look at my watch no sex. tonight wedge oock why not uh I'm. exhausted really yeah you need to be. prime exact a real. P halfway he can't do it halfway I I'll. [ __ ] get a [ __ ] sideways lay we're. going to just lay stay still and I'm. like go let's just stay still for a. second yeah you're like actually I'm not. going to come I'm going to why I just.

beat off while I feel your. tits this man's never done that I've. done that done I've done that hundreds. of. times some like getting hit with a no on. that though that's really tough you guys. all done I've never done that once yeah. oh that's great stuff I mean as a I'm. fat as [ __ ] obviously I mean you know. I'm so fat that you could even say. you're not fat around me Shane and it. wouldn't be that wild you know what I. mean so I have and this is I'm actually.

not as fat as I've been which is CRA. like there was a year in my life where I. was so fat and unhealthy and I [ __ ] a. lot because it was like you know. pathological there was a lot of jacking. off your [ __ ] half limp dick in those. but you know I'm in there I'm eating the. [ __ ] you know what I mean I'm going. geres on the [ __ ] I'm eating it like. you know like it's Froot Loops and so. don't reward me with a jack off while I. suck on a titty I am excited for you. that you. enjoy.

pleasuring yeah you love giving pleasure. yeah is there how often does the woman. not orgasm when you're down there or. working with your tools or. usings it really I me obviously depends. on woman depends on. woman well it also it's like cycle. oh no you know the menstrual cycle. that's awesome hey I'm talking to that.

right now you you just honestly pushed. past me dude we were neck and neck this. whole time in terms of guy freak awesome. never anything like you I have to go. when hold on explain to me when in the I. want to learn cuz I don't know this at. all I haven't even considered this oh. well every woman's different but I think. like I heard mccusker talking about it. and I I have a similar experience which. like yeah mat a couple. days after the period now again this is.

like ovulation Peak ovulation no no PE. Peak ovulation I think is like halfway. through the oh [ __ ] um I would assume. they're the horn when they're ovulating. assuming notth control that was like his. point assuming depends on when in the. cycle yeah I'm again though back to. what's your batting average on the lady. coming um. probably 80% holy beautiful numb man. beautiful numbers insane numbers yeah I. don't think no oh trust me but it's also.

the partner it's also the partner. 147 this playing. sing he better be good at fielding. that's all I'm saying I'm way below the. Mendoza that's crazy 80% come but but. it's not but he do [ __ ] that many women. he's they've been Partners what he's. saying yeah yeah yeah perfectly said. partnership to get down B it's pretty. good at first B interesting interesting.

a little slump going yeah get out we'll. hit our way out of this just keep taking. swing keep swinging. brother yeah I'm play off Aon judge. [ __ ]. crazy more a glue guy yeah I'm a locker. room guy I'm [ __ ] up yeah yeah Dam %. respect what do you think stop stop what. do you take it you I mean these numbers. are crazy incredible numbers CRA 5050. I'd be happy again not not like uh not.

not not with a ton of women in my life. and yeah in my experience if you get the. the awesomest thing is when a woman just. busts easy and you can tell yourself. like I did that and then you [ __ ]. somebody who's like I don't know man. takes a wild again yeah you know these. numbers are truly you're a [ __ ] s the. [ __ ] show so but he is a m he's. scientific about yeah the moniker is. earned tfold throughout this.

conversation for for five different. reasons I want merch dude I want [ __ ]. mro merch I just don't want this to come. off I'm a gr King. yeah that do you know that that was the. the first like the name he gave me the. gr King no I didn't know that is I'm. guess no one knows what is disgusting it. was just it was a f had for a little bit. no I'm leing on this I'm it's a fetish. that every dude on Earth. has was also very funny a wet [ __ ] wait.

a second you said that's a fetish you. have it's a wet P well no I mean he was. searching the. wet medical Emy no there's there's a. viscosity element. to of course Nickelodeon. Gak he needs he needs to slime [ __ ]. time on the [ __ ] pillow Chris said it. very funny cuz then I resear you know.

and that is typically indicative of. ovulation so it's less what I thought it. was which is being extremely turned off. but there's there's a subreddit ARR and. gr so he started call me the gr King and. then he was like gr King people have. drawn paintings. yeah what the artist I should what's his. name we should give him a shout out he's. so good um oh man I'm so sorry to the. guy who's listening to this who really. deserves a shout out sure he stop. listening it's also so funny that to be.

talking about his art like that just. being like no it's beautiful the guy. what does he draw wet [ __ ] no no no it. was like it was like it was kind of like. a Hunter S Thompson artwork style and. your mouth is glistening no no no no got. class he just put a crown on he just. caught in a web of. gr anyway the little the little GRL fly. about to die happy Happ than anybody you. are a gr fly. dude I mean this with all due respect.

your spirit would definitely be a. fly um Shane was saying like when. Netflix you. know they would start to see comments it. was like gr King gr King and he's like. executive having work that like what is. this oh they like him what we. do yes it's a it's an acronym yeah. the [ __ ] mro GRL King pyro gr King I'll. be breaking out his tools the woman must.

know she's in for a tree oh yeah y to. First nozle back there she just sees. batteries charging when she walks in the. room's lit up charging. devices hold on he's about to tell us. something I got to go relax we're having. a good time red lights interesting in. the house like the light bul or during. sex oh classic you get Philips hu and.

you make them red and it's just you. really are a freak dude that's have you. done it I've I've definitely [ __ ]. under some red light conditions but that. the girl had at her I have a Philips Hue. as well actually I do have the lights to. turn colors make whatever color you want. yeah yeah yeah it's just adding so. pressure that's just like that's it's. just what it's called on the just. [ __ ] walking out losing a boner in. red light. that's wh house coded though that's like. what a at a bordello they would have red. lights that was a classic that's how you.

knew it was a wh house back in the day. you may be Nas ferate that is very. vampiric of you dude the red lights in. there and and you know what I had a hunt. you were a [ __ ] a [ __ ] fiend but I. I'm not a fiend you are you are dude. it's awesome that's a positive it is. good but this is some intense stuff red. lights toys of [ __ ] wedge the Muff. Gremlin you are the Muff gremlin. this is one exactly how I knew this was. going to. go and this is the big postelection.

recap the post elction recap check out. let's start a cult on VOD uh uh November. 12th please rent it we could really use. it and uh and check out Kyle Hamilton at. safety hell yeah dud that's where we. align D. Ravens vanoi came and did a spot at my. show in. Bowski was on the Ravens zby was on the. was they always get no Dame boys Ry. Stanley at tackle yeah although you know. actually he's been better.

recently showed up for a minute um but. yeah and you can uh you can catch Steve. on his knees on a pillow yes sir. worshiping take me to church I worship. you love it that's the song that you. have sex to. Noory year what I don't want to say it. but wait tell me cuz it's. you we might be able to delete this what. is it oh uh remember the experience that.

you had with the. lady yes that was song that you were. singing when you were like that's. hilarious remember I told you I can't. remember what song you singing that's. really really funny fill me in after. post recording yeah for sure that's. awesome that's awesome all right. well thank you thanks everyone go luy. gerbon Style.