Ep 520 - Thailand Rickshaw (feat. Ari Matti)

wow wow Wes I'm up early bro I got. little kids seven yeah on a good day. Seven's like sweet if I sleep until 7:00. a.m. I'm like that was great were you. like that younger yeah I was always kind. of a morning person honestly really dud. never even yeah never even fathomed. really dude today wake up at 11: this if. I have to wake up at 11: I go to the. toilet I take a [ __ ] like this and I. spit between and I feel like my hair is. hurting I feel like I'm going to the.

mindes I mean the grind have to listen. to like Joo will to get here you damn. well are we firing up who's going to. carry the boats oh we're rolling damn. well you guys just couched some natural. conversation now let's turn on the. juice damn so hold on okay so you're. you're saying anything before have you. always been like that you've always been. and listen uh Society has tried to keep. me down for all my life school try to. keep me the [ __ ] down what time does. your school start we start like 8:00 in.

the morning I think when I think now. it's a little earlier I used to do 8. 8:23 was the exact time grade Catholic. grade. school damn yeah we did 8. 8:30ish and I'll tell you in high. school I was in school before 10: maybe. seven times really um like when you miss. a class you would get like a mark on. your card you know what happen mine was. uh oh three was supposed to be you get. expelled that's that's the [ __ ] they. got three less yeah three like late like.

missing a class not late missing a class. that's the that's whatever rule they. wanted to give us and this where is this. this was in the mother country right. this is in the mother in the motherland. Estonia Estonia correct. he um Estonia. yes so you bucked the Estonian school. system you didn't go so I had 700 and. After High School 10 11 12th grade I had. 768 I missed like one third of the whole. High School experience I'll be out for. like two weeks I just didn't feel like.

it I've always been a Vibe guy you know. yeah but I talked to the teachers they. all loved me even the principal every. time I went in he was a karate he used. to be a karate instructor he got. expelled my the principal in my school. got expelled from his last school. because he used to be the PE teacher and. he slapped the [ __ ] out of a kid did he. really boom he did out for six years did. some politics got back as principal. that's how principles get in it's. politics you know yeah I don't I never. understood that how how like principles.

come to power yeah it's always like like. through politics and [ __ ] you got hit. and he loved me whenever we talked he. was like man you crazy you know I'm like. I know and then we talked about karate. his son was in the karate tournament and. we he would play VHS tapes of his son. fighting M and then I would just go back. to school and all the teachers are like. you got to go to the principal's office. I'm like sure more karate Rifts damn. man how's your morning going you seem. you seem like you're rushing bro you're. you seem high strong right now yeah yeah.

I had like two coffees and just woke up. but I'm always like this they know me. true yeah true you you rip hard I know. and then everybody thinks I'm on coke. everybody's like dude I don't think. you're on coke I would never accuse you. that people always think I'm I don't. think you're on coke I've got ACC I get. accused of being on steroids so I feel I. feel your pain get the [ __ ] out I'm. telling you people think I'm on steroids. all the time right now I'm on a 48 hour. fast so obviously I've shrank down oh. you fast yeah 48 hours bro [ __ ] thank. you bro I discovered it when I was like. in my like in my 30s really fast [ __ ]. this is my longest one I've never been I.

do 16s and eight I'm going to kill that. yeah that that's too much after too much. this will be 48 done water fast with no. water have you done those no I Yes. actually I tried for one day and I got a. pretty big headache very big headache. I'm tried it on stage dude get I. understand for a civilian a water fast. is possible if I'm having an anxiety. panic attack before doing. sunset on a water fast I'm going be. parched yeah true and if I'm. parched do [ __ ] on St yeah if I smoke. didn't do stand up it's kind of a.

nightmare I'm the whole time I'm like. just dry mouth like parched as [ __ ] hate. that [ __ ] so what's up dude what what. you been up to thanks for doing the cast. man of course no worries I've been just. chilling you know yeah but okay so when. you get up what the [ __ ] do you do at 7. I didn't I don't even know this life I. lead my family dude I wake up and how. how old are you how old are you 32 oh. yeah you know you I wake up I I lead my. family I I go guys it's another day God. has BL like me tell me honestly like.

actually when you hear me telling that. do you judge me honestly no it's I I. think a lot of society's been keeping me. down and I'm I'm done I don't I think a. lot of comedians get caught up in like. the Mythos of being like I don't I go to. sleep I wake up at 4:00 in the afternoon. it's like do you wake up at 8 a.m. but. how but how do you do this you wake up S. yeah you have a spot 1140 I don't do. them where you got to fight for your. life I don't do them or or see you out. there [ __ ] you or I do or I do i' I've.

been chilling on them or I'll uh I'll. just do it and I'll just suck it up and. I'll wake up early and I'll how tired. are you though tired all the time I'm. aging rapidly right. now hell yeah dude hell yeah keep them. coming yeah I'm aging rapidly and uh you. know I'm like genuinely falling apart. but you just do it how old are you like. 50 no 38 I was kidding you know you. always start with the yeah it's good one. that's crazy so okay okay okay okay okay.

okay so maybe you're not that maybe. you're also nocturnal like me dude I'm. sharp at 1:00 a.m. I'm sharp I'm I'm a. morning person I made to like lift. stones at like 7:00 a.m. till 3: and. just go to bed maybe shake my wife up a. little bit maybe have some excitement. really yeah that's have you done about. doing like shows at 1 p.m. that could be. a huge think all time I think about it. all the time and whenever I've done. those shows even at skankfest I had like. a 1 p.m spot full Panic really dude I.

have to go alarm clock I mean I'm up. until 7:00 a.m. in the casino so the. alarm clock goes off like you know like. the spot was at 1. 12:45 fully hung over yeah just on. literally on stage dude I look like if. you think I look like ass right now IM I. don't think you like ass I see your eyes. were 2our preparation process. shower shave what were you doing last. night were you partying hard or like I. went to bed like I went to bed like four.

and I've tried that too when you know. when people go go to bed earlier you. know what happens when I go to bed. earlier what I get 14 hours of sleep so. that's good oh yeah so I don't care. whatever I this is Magic I can be up. till 9: I'll be up by 1 yeah or I can go. to bed at 12: I'll be up by one yeah I. don't know I I never struggle with that. a lot of comedians I know like stay up. till like 4 in the morning I'm like why. just go to bed just go to sleep man cuz. there's never you're never doing. anything good sure Matt go to sleep have. you seen the new Vince McMahon dog go to. sleep I watched all of it that's true.

yeah left of my own devices now now you. say that left to my own devices I. struggle to fall asleep you need a wife. to just kind. of and that's what I was getting to I. did have a little mes for a bit did you. really and the quality of my life dude I. I haven't slept in like nine months like. slept you know had a like a healthy what. is the anorexia system what's the system. circadian rhythm anorexia system.

that was pretty close um it's like they. DEC create that system your body is. lotioned your life is just better you. know yeah so I get that like yeah yeah. you have good creams and the proper did. my skin be itchy like for 13 years. because I always use the seven inone. [ __ ] shower gel it's meant for cars. everything yeah it's like the. conditioner shampoo all that stuff yeah. it's like the seven in one my friend. used to have a joke about the seven in. one it's $1 ba everything and everything. itches and it's uncomfortable.

my underwear got better when you find. girl cuz look at your underwear like. even now I have the H&M one five bucks. for three dude [ __ ] liy and they're. all up in my dick right now super. uncomfortable yeah they do that they get. in there and they kind of you know mix. up your regimen a little bit get you. nicer on these nicer socks yeah yeah so. I do get that sleep and getting up early. being more productive women do that they. just make us you know like yeah there it. really takes another person next to you. to wake up who looks at you like you.

animal yeah to get you moving you know. you do you need someone to hear your me. I'm just [ __ ] alone in my bed 4 a. watching vce from. behind yeah no that's fair though it is. tough to go to bed if I'm if if if my. wife leaves I I you're right I don't. fall asleep till kind of later but still. you got to get the early wake up dude. you can't you have no business waking up. at 12 o'clock in the afternoon well okay. 11: for me is like I have to be in that. 300 mindset I'm going to war I can do I. can do 11. you have like a headache and.

stuff dude headache. dude this morning even just [ __ ] ah. dude this is bad. yeah damn dude I'm sorry to hear that no. no no but it's it's actually then you. get to stay out till 4 in the morning. see I'm asleep I don't I can't do the 4. in the morning yeah because yeah if I. would try cuz I've tried civilian stuff. like I had a job like you know 9:00 a.m. you got to be there.

even if I'm there at 9:00 a.m. you're. not see dud comedian's a job I don't. know why comedian is the same it's the. same as being like a brick layer it's. the same it's just a job yeah yeah man. it's not a big deal just doing it's like. being a musician it's like just a thing. yeah for sure for sure the American. professionalism exactly man yeah I might. carry a briefcase I might start keeping. a real. business and tell me this you also feel. right I don't feel like there's a huge. distinction I think comedians self. romanticize their exist.

100% just a job that's what I getting to. is that also when you have a [ __ ]. you're a real man you have kids you have. kids right yeah yeah by the way. daughters I'm not a real man though I. just have daughters by the way by the. way the chicks in The Green Room at. Greek and the cave I noticed there was a. 7 to1 like dude chick ratio it was me. and chicks so I started asking them. questions wait all chicks or all dudes. all chick Comedians and me so I started. asking them questions like who's the hot. you know yeah who's the hot you know. you're the number one guy oh yeah CU. they they they go like [ __ ] because.

they go like he has a wife you know like. he's a real. man so you're saying and they say you're. cute but the fact you have a wife and oh. they like the yeah they like to see. you're married I guess yeah cuz they. want to just like kill your wife and. just take her spot basically exactly. take over your kids and everything. that's all they want they want to be in. a house with kids I'm not I'm not being. like a [ __ ] I think women have like. a biological Instinct like and and also. most of the chicks in the green room. they were like in their 30s my age so. that's when the [ __ ] starts looking for.

companionship you know the pussyy is. like what's it's a that you know yeah no. that makes sense they start to they. start to want they want the domestic. life although I feel like they they feel. like they're uh I think there's a big. pressure against not wanting that though. although I I like I really think the way. birds build nests I think women have a. desire to like I swear to God it's like. an in when a women get pregnant dude. there's a thing it's a oh what is it. called the women I love that it's a. nesting reflex literally that's what. it's called when women get pregnant they. go through their house and frantically. start like moving [ __ ] around they.

prepare for the baby yeah they fix. everything yeah great they like. organized the closet we our closets got. changed around you have to just let them. do their thing so yeah I feel even women. are in their 30s man it's you know they. really have you dated women who are like. pieces of [ __ ] themselves too yeah oh. bro that's a bad one see if you have a. bad woman theying my grandfather used to. say there's nothing worse than a drunk. woman nothing worse than a drunk woman. he was like dude and he drank beer all. day every every day but he was like.

there's nothing worse than that's the. last thing in the world you want dude. honestly it's kind of right yeah cuz you. don't want if you have a woman dragging. you down you'll go so far they're. supposed to drag you out of your own. exactly depravity you know we're already. down there yeah. exactly I don't need another dude when I. would date yeah sometimes date like. female comedians or something it's. always just me and her on a couch Uber. e nobody's waking up everybody has. terrible sleep no bills are getting paid.

we're late for everything yeah true it's. a bad thing I I always I've never dated. a female comedian jeez cuz like I. remember my ex had like a scam like she. her like dad lives in Australia so she. lived in Australia for a bit and then. started getting scamming herself like. the unemployment there but she lives in. she lived in Bali she lived in America. she just she would just make the calls. and cry like I you going get a job once. a month you know to her dad no no the. [ __ ] the agency or whoever austr the.

Australian are like you know Australians. there say wholesome people they're all. like how are you doing sh you know yeah. well dude I think what you're saying. it's totally true though I feel like the. dude's default setting is at exactly. where a woman on heroin's default. setting is in terms of like what they. would do for sex I think you're totally. right it's like a woman on heroin looks. at sex the way like a regular guy looks. at it yeah they'll like meet you in a. back alley and be like yeah [ __ ] yeah. yeah so you're right about that you. can't have a woman if you have a woman. with loose morals it's just mad because. I'm already like the monkey in the.

relationship I'm [ __ ] dropping [ __ ]. I'm running around yeah you need a sweet. angel you can't have like a nasty. [ __ ] comic you're a sweet [ __ ]. angel nasty comic out there just in the. streets ditch you at any second for. [ __ ] you know name an actor and you. know what the boys always go to he's. changed you know when a guy get gets. into a relationship you know the boys. always go he's chains and then I look at. the guy I'm like yeah his [ __ ] color. in his skin he's sleeping well oh Oh's.

got a good smile his riffs aren toxic. you know he doesn't go straight to. racism just oh he's a happy guy yeah. there is you're right there is a push. back I remember hey Sean you want to go. down the MIT for the seventh time this. week talk about the same Rifts cuz we. both forgot I'm doing your I'm doing. your parts to you you're doing mine to. me it's just a loop it's just a [ __ ]. Bill Murray movie every day I haven't I. forgot about that man the Bros always do.

it's like yeah bro you never come around. anymore it's like you ever see when do. you ever see two like um Bachelor guys. living together but in their like 60s. and 70s I glimpsed it once it was for. real a freaked me out bro I used to be a. bartender though my nightmare I would. literally see it in my dreams with sweat. yeah I would see that I'm the. 55-year-old bartender with the. suspenders you know where's the party. I mean well I feel like if you no no.

there's some guys who kill it some guys. can pull it off I I couldn't yeah I. couldn't do it i' fall apart Liv in La. Loa I know a guy who's like in his 60s. and he's like a cruise bartender now. yeah dude and his pictures he just that. pools banging all these women you know. cuz the cruise you end up getting into a. fight with your husband you end up. getting into a fight yeah yeah you know. you'll be in the night and it's such a. huge boat so he's banging all these BRS. Margarita he's like 61 really yeah he's. like I'm thinking getting into up he's. writing me this you know tell him to do.

it and he loves it you know yeah. drinking cocktails some people can do. that man some people can do I I was in. an apartment of two six-year-old men who. were like the one guy rode a bicycle. home from work and just like parked in. an apartment and I watched him and this. other guy talk about [ __ ] and I was. like holy [ __ ] dude they should have. been like handing out cookies out of. like a tin can and they were just like. dude it's [ __ ] chick oh I want some. [ __ ] [ __ ] and I was like I got to. get out of here this is this is crazy. yeah that for real like freaked me out. like in Australia I lived with a guy.

like he was like 55 I'm dude I'm like 21. and we met at the hostel that's how we. start splitting yeah yeah yeah dude at. the hostel it's always like it's all 21y. old German chicks Irish dudes every was. sucking and [ __ ] and there's always. like one guy in the 16 dormatory with. the fan you can sleep with like 12. people it's like this is the beginning. of our life but it's the end of his you. know yeah yeah hostiles have you have. you ever stayed in hostle. yeah you're just in there with a room.

with 12 people and it is a party I went. to one in Brazil it was so fun so fun it. just me it was literally Irish dudes. Australian dudes and German chicks are. 100% I met AR shafir in a hostel just. when I was in my first year of in comedy. in Cambodia really yeah what were you. guys doing over there dude I don't know. I just saw him at the hostel I was like. you're sha he how is Cambodia I never. went there before I'm dying to go to. Thailand bro I live you know I lived. dude you know I lived in Thailand right. did you really.

was it how long did you live there for I. did uh maybe I did like a 12 month. stretch you have to do those Visa runs. every three months then I did maybe. another six it's I was in koala Lum as. well that's when I started doing also. comedy first time I went there I didn't. do comedy uh you start doing comedy in. Thailand no I started in um in Australia. so I did a year in Thailand met my sweet. baby angel made my sweet baby angel like. a girl in a classic story did you buy.

her family like a pig I'm not I'm not. being i' I've saw documentaries where. you have to buy like no she was. Australia. oh I've seen documentaries I'm not being. disrespectful but if you meet a woman in. Thailand you have to like support their. family and buy them like a. pig I've heard that I know that's not. true but let's go let's go with that. narrative I saw a documentary yeah let's. go with that narrative I think it's a. nice gift yeah yeah in Bangkok yeah in. the Metropol in Australia so totally. normal just totally normal yeah so then. we mve to Australia I start comedy there.

and then I go back to koala lomor and. Bangkok and did comedy there for six. months so uh but in in the first year I. was fully Backpacker maybe eight months. in Copan you know it's the full moon. party island I did all oh I've heard. about that actually but I'm not like a. never did ecstasy or nothing I did. basically tie boxing smoked a lot of. weed and I just uh chilled [ __ ] sick. and you meet a lot of guys there you. know like during Co I had a face the. horniest guys from around the world the. hornest guys in the. dud you were in Thailand during Co no uh.

yes I went there at one pit yeah nice. yeah for a month so what was up with the. guys in Thailand what would you say so. like uh so like. exactly you said they look like girls. the whole lady boy thing is fascinating. really fascinating there's a movie about. fascinating uh Tai kickboxing and they. guy Like A Champion ends up in jail and. he has to fight in jail for like the to. get free from jail but the whole thing. is he falls in love with the Tha lady. boy jesz yeah he meets in.

prison swear to God it's a Beau man if. I'm in prison with a lady. boy throw the match throw the matchs two. weeks I'm blowing this. guy I'm serious like if you're a. beautiful angel I'm blowing you dude in. uh I would um it would always be so. Fascinate though I never went for it I. was young I I was hanging around at. hostels that the. the expat community that bangs lady boys.

they're guys who are closer to your age. yeah that's when you start having actual. Liberation in been there done you cuz. you start dying and you're like if I'm. not going to bang a dude with a wig when. am I you know true but when you're young. I'm not so sexually free so I can't let. go also if you have the family or like. been there done that so I can't let go. of the social norms that I've been you. know I'm also Eastern European so for me. British dudes my age would just be like. not. out you.

know and you're saying in Eastern Europe. it's not you don't [ __ ] dudes with. literally like I knew I met him at a. hostel his first night he's fine Coke. he's doing it the 16 dorm there's like a. family there doing bad you know it's. like a bad just like a cheap hos raing. Coke and he just would disappear into. the night dude and he he would go get on. a Tuk to you know tell the guy take me. around take me around oh like the little. thing they carry not not the carry with. the with the motor oh okay my bad fun.

fun fun stuff I thought he had like a. Rick Shaw I'm like dude getting taking a. Rick Shaw to a lady boy is no that's. where they do call it rick but it's with. the small engine and you're in the back. you know you're like James Bond but it. was like six but then one having a guy. carry you like in a. wheelbarrow the. hookers but then uh and the Rick shot. was a lady boy and so he's driving. around looking for hookers but it's like. 600 a.m. they all went to bed or it's. the worst ones yeah she just looks at. the lady but go I my you know yeah and.

he comes back and he can shake it off. and he was just you know he like oh. [ __ ] Thailand you know he's. like uh but Eastern European if you if. you went back to Estonia and were like. Mom. Dad meet you know oh now I wouldn't give. a flying [ __ ] dude yeah but a little. more strict a little more strict I'm. just not interested but if it happened I. give a dude a new 12 whatever a new 12. Mothership on Monday dude if I would.

bang a lady boy did Imagine The bit true. the bit would be so. sick coming through a guy you know you. come in his ass and he comes on the. floor it was just so funny you know it. is funny to beia and like [ __ ]. British guys whole time if I bang the. dude you know I just feel like this is. so wild dude. it would be hilarious I have no issues.

dude eight hour sleep yeah yeah. literally I'm not that guy I knew a guy. lady boy would keep you in bed they'd be. like come on bedtime I knew I knew. bedtime you go yes ma'am I also knew a. guy I also knew a guy in Estonia he came. back and he was all weird for a few. months all weird MH then he eventually. had to go to like therapy and then he. start telling what. happened he he took a little Rick Shaw.

ride took a little Rick this guy so this. guy goes and he's like he's like he's. like 25 years old so he's in his point. in his life I was also 25 he was you. know it's the classic it's the first. girlfriend MH they're loyal the first. never even shared the kiss with another. person she's loyal to him it's sad but. now they've been together since they. were 15 the classic but 15 to 25 the. growth you go as a person it's so such a.

huge gap dude if I meet you at 25 to 35. maybe I can handle that but 15 to 25 so. they're going to that rough phase where. they don't know where it's going they go. to Thailand thinking it's going to fix. oh no thinking it's going to fix things. she's like oh my God the temples you. know he's like yeah yeah the. temples he's like yeah yeah the. temples so what happened you know they. get into a huge eyes he throws a glass. on the street one of those like the big.

a big fight in the relationship they. they're actually they actually got back. together okay but it's a big breaking. point and this dude's just goes into the. night you know disappear 48. Hours cookers guys everyone gets it a. donkey got [ __ ] he's on a. tear so he just went completely B yeah. yeah and it helped their relationship. they're back together but when he came.

back dude this is second this look you. know really cuz he's so traumatized from. all that Eastern European toxic [ __ ]. and remember when I heard about it I. just started laughing I was like how did. how did everyone hear about it he came. back and told finally finally he start. drinking he start drinking with us he. gets back I wasn't close friends with. him but I saw him at parties So. eventually he starts open and he starts. a little laughing about it but when he. told me I or when I heard about it I. laughed like kicking my feet on the. couch and when I saw him I'm like bro.

what for 6 months he was just weird I. was like bro are you okay what's the. issue like that should be bachor Parties. By the way it should be you go out it. should you your dudes take you out to. have like a very gay experience and that. way you come back and you can appreciate. your wife you're like yeah man that is. not for me and every person gets married. your whole family has to go out and have. a gay experience and when I would live. in Tha I would yeah you got to shake. that off you can't let that your life D. bro D he was just mad at he was just mad.

at his girlfriend he was just mad at his. girlfriend and also they're beautiful. it's her fault it's her fault also but. there's also they beautiful. angels true dude they're beautiful. angels literally teolog if you go to a. bar in Thailand and you see a chick. that's like you're like you know like. CGI perfect yeah was it hard to tell was. it hard to tell for you is it really you. think it's you think all guys have a. theory look at the hands I'll see it I. see the [ __ ] Apple dude nothing if.

they can cut the dong is what else they. can cut perfect the Apple everything's. perfect and the Traditions from a the. transition from a time man to a girl. easy sliding yeah for me like a Eastern. European with my I have ugly man. feet true it's not as easy for us yeah. just this weird [ __ ] look at these. [ __ ] I do have I have soft Irish. features I might be able to become a. beautiful woman. but so what tell me about East uh. Estonia what is what's like where is it.

geographically where is. Estonia next to Russia okay is it under. the sway of Russian's influence or is it. more like un like where is we're very. NATO un because your boy got lucky. geographically yeah huh huh D lvia wish. they were us laia is L Russia not far L. is still in good Lithuania good but if. we go to like. H like.

Kazakhstan oh you're you're on the east. side of Russia no we're not that but. that geographical area after the Soviet. Union collapse they politically just. sided with the Russians which at the. time you know this was the 90s this. European Union wasn't a slam dunk the UN. NATO that wasn't a slam dunk so they. sided with Russia and we went because. we're closer to Sweden Finland okay and. we would so and we would be uh their.

Finnish Swedish [ __ ] Norway their. economy would influence us positively. too cuz Finnish guys would come I see I. see so you got you got uh okay I was I. thought you guys were like further on. that little collection of countries near. I thought like Georgia I didn't mean. Geographic I just meant like no you guys. are you're in a good spot man you're. right below Finland M but dude imagine. like what Russians like their SE KGB. could do to a small Eastern European. country nobody would have any idea what. do you mean they could [ __ ] around and.

like they [ __ ] around all the time with. us do they really yeah there all the. time news another spy another [ __ ]. thing but they're Russian spies D they. have [ __ ] they're taking old. notebooks they don't have they have the. oldest listening device dude whenever a. Russian spy gets C he literally has the. wire here I'm like dude what the [ __ ]. they're dressed like inp [ __ ] Camala has. a. earring can't [ __ ] figure it out yeah. Russian spies are still you know they're. really well have you seen the Russian. army have you seen the like they act. like they have the coolest [ __ ] they. they never have the coolest [ __ ] dude. have you.

seen have you seen look at the Ukraine. war there's footage you know when. Russian they see a drone dude they're. like what the they're like Minority. Report you know they're like what the. [ __ ] cuz they have a kalishnikov and a. [ __ ] pigeon you. know yeah they they hold it down like. they got the best missiles so it's all. [ __ ] I mean a missile is a missile. that's the way they get it to you is the. problem yeah it's true so okay so you. guys are not the propulsion is the issue. so. you so you you got I I was curious about.

that because I it's like I'm fascinated. by Eastern Europe because I don't know. anything about it I know yeah because uh. a friend of mine uh yesterday I told him. that I'm doing your podcast he was like. you're a big history guy um well Shane's. more of a big history guy I do like I do. like history Tim Dylan is a history guy. he always comes up and says facts about. Estonia to me that I don't know he's. like oh yeah better watch out I'm like. watch out what do I know I don't know. you know yeah I uh yeah I'm fascinated. by it cuz there's so many little. countries and it's like I dude in school.

they didn't teach us anything about. Eastern Europe it was just a place. they'd be like yeah like what's good. with it yeah I don't mind you know I'm. not angry I kind of like it you know. what I want some weed dude when do I. want it now your state restricting legal. access to live the high life via legally. gives you the freedom to blaze your own. trail and get premium federally legal. cannabis products discreetly shipped to. your door in all 50 states yeah you. heard that right you can get weed sent.

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if you live in Cleveland Ohio I'll be. there through October 10th through. October 10th or [ __ ] um my I shouldn't. have fasted for 48 hours I'll be there. from October 10th through October 12th. hilar Comedy Club Cleveland Ohio Boston. The Wilbur I believe that sold out thank. you Boston uh Milwaukee improv October. 24th to the 26 that's huge and guys. here's the big ones please don't make me. look like a. loser 11:15 cap Capital One Hall Tyson's. Virginia that's going to be a big one.

that I I don't think people are too. happy with the ticket sales as they. currently are and 1116 2024 Town Hall. New York City if I can't fill this place. I will [ __ ] kill myself because it's. one of the biggest cities in the world. um so let me not make a fool of myself. of the New York Comedy Festival the very. prestigious event and also 1129 2024 a. little out in the future uh Irvine. Improv Irvine California come on man. come out there you know I'm West Coast. at hard I'm totally SoCal all right. thank you guys Matt mauser.com for. tickets and now a word from our dear.

little. Bros hello it's me Lam mer I have some. shows October 9th I'll be in ham. Indianapolis at the Red Room come to. that and then October 11th and 12th I'll. be in Jamesville Wisconsin they gave me. too many shows so please come to. that Optimum noctus November 5th Feud. October 17th and dude please just check. everything out Shan Gardini Lam mer Le. that fun. yeah thank you what do you think about.

Tate coming over there Andrew Tate yeah. he kind of like started holding it down. Eastern Europe dude dude what do you. think about Cobra Tate down there. Romania dude when I saw him on like a yo. mom's house remember that was one of his. big Tate was on your mom's house Andrew. Tate that was his you know that was his. big break right you guys do know that. right no yeah I didn't know he was on it. Tom seura made everything bad. happen no but he but the they had him on. yeah but that was the time when how long.

ago was it that's a while ago and in my. head I was uh that was when he was doing. the weird videos when he's in front of a. chimney he talking about you know he's. in front of a chimney talking they had. him on that long ago yeah when he' sit. in front of a fire so for me it was 100. when I see a clip like that I'm like. it's 100% a bit uh and it's like a. character for sure yeah yeah and then. turns out this guy might be the. president of the world now yeah know. well yeah he's might get in trouble for. sex.

trafficking so I mean who hasn't sex. traffic we're all you know we're all bad. guys you know that's I mean that is true. the Eastern European you know the. definition of sex trafficking is true. who hasn't you know well the definition. is women you sold women we all sold. women definition if you tra if you cross. state lines with a girl and tricker into. the reason why she's moving how yeah but. you're tricking I mean exactly how easy. is it you know yeah it's like moving. from Pennsylvania Delaware and being. like no I'm just trying to chill I'm. just that's technically sex trafficking.

for sure yeah so yeah it is it's a hazy. definition but yeah they got him on uh a. couple counts I don't know if they'll. get him though it'll be terrible dude if. he was is he the Romanian Court I think. so heur is a chicken dude he laugh at. the ROM the jur is a little chicken that. was Andrew Tate's prideful words before. they came down with all I don't know. about that court ain't going to be that. gloves situation like OJ yeah you think.

he'll get I think he'll get off too oh. yeah th Rock up with a Lamborghini yeah. Young Thugs getting off I don't dude you. think Diddy will get in trouble I think. he I think he's like done I think if he. goes free it'll be Mass protest what. what what what did he I don't even I. know the lotion I've seen the memes didd. he was like grabbing guys dicks I think. who hasn't grabed guys dicks against. their apparently he kept Cassie for 10. years tricked her which you know. tricking Cassie Cassie who the rapper. Cassie yeah she was like an R&B lady not. Cassidy Cassidy was not molested by J to.

my knowledge but yeah he kept a. girlfriend for 10 years and told her he. was working on her album and like it's. coming out any day now 10 years and was. just making her do freak. offs the the parties where like male. prostitutes would have to have sex with. her in front of everybody really she. never got to do her album she escaped. really it's like sexual assault sex. trafficking drugs beat her up on camera. yeah dude yeah wait wait wait wait did. you see the video of him beating her ass.

really in a hotel you didn't see this. what dude there's a video of him have. you seen the guy wear a football player. knocks the [ __ ] out of her wife Ray Rice. yes. dude it's so brutal that it like shocks. you like what and and I'm I'm not like I. said I'm not being disrespectful against. Eastern Europe is it like I'm genuinely. curious in terms of like pushing a woman. around is that totally off the table or. is it like oh bro we hit all of them. really well we as a it's very bad it's.

very bad it's very bad it's bad still. it's like when they're trying to fix the. like when you know when they're trying. uh Mach LGBT things you know like we're. still hitting them so really there's. bigger issues you know yeah I guess. would you say like what like take a. number trans people 50 is it like like. is it for real like that can you it's. bad yeah it's bad like all all the uh I. have friends who are police officers. they literally go like just every day. you get to the kitchen the wife's on the.

kitchen the dude's hammered holding a. knife whoa every day all day damn it's. bad here too you just for you the cops. don't even come the cops don't even come. they're like oh someone's hitting a. woman we have real [ __ ] to do yeah true. although the cops don't come here yeah. the cops don't come you know dude if I. if my wife called and said I was beating. her the cops they they grab my ass oh. really it's my greatest nightmare oh. it's the. P out of my house I wouldn't have done. it I'm saying if she were to be like.

he's hitting me and then [ __ ] sock. herself your parents never got into a. little scuffle not physical not that I. saw my uh mine was stepdad and Mom bad. really bad stepdad was physical yeah. what' you do you're and cry like a [ __ ]. I mean we all would don't don't or the. only thing if you don't cry like a [ __ ]. what you end up doing is killing your. stepdad he because oh for real it's. either all it's all or nothing nobody. like squares up like 9 years old I. watched the movie the the Dragon movie.

with jetly remember when he had the. little needles I was like how to get. these [ __ ] needles I got to get my St. dude I was going to so um that's rugged. where's this guy now but it's dead all. dead everyone's dead you know yeah true. yeah yeah so the stepdad's dead for real. everyone's dead everyone your whole. family's dead everyone's dead damn I'm. sorry to hear that it's okay I love. bringing it up you fome are you [ __ ]. around or is everyone everyone's dead. everyone's dead found out the real d is. actually not dead but doesn't want to. hear about it so your real dad's not.

dead turns out yeah be conspir plot. twist when like Americans talk about. family oh Thanksgiving I always go ask. about my family ask about would you like. to I'd like to talk about that if it's. not too much of a sore subject then when. like so so when you're a little so when. you're a little child a little boy you. know I don't know if this is true but I. imagine I. imagine if your biological dad hits your. biological mother there's maybe it's not. good. definitely bad but maybe there's a.

system in our DNA that kind of that kind. of tells you like in AP in apand mhm in. apand things are good you know like. you're right about that yes stranger. coming into it it's worse stepdad is a. dude yeah and you're in that age of you. know when like testosterone is starting. to intro introduce your dick is getting. a little interesting now and you're. starting to become a man and then. another guy enters the picture and is.

violent that's I think a bigger. insecurity Big Time seated in your whole. thing you know yeah that's way worse. yeah yeah that's terrible yeah that so. how do you feel it's very normal I would. say normal I'm not saying this is I'm. not like it's my story it's what if I. talk to all of my friends in Eastern. Europe a lot of my friends it's way. worse stuff you know because also my. step that didn't hit me you know yeah so. that's so yeah that's yeah that's not uh. it's not good yeah it's not good but. glad he's dead what glad he's dead.

yeah damn dude that's [ __ ] up yeah do. you feel like when you come to America. when you came how long ago did you come. here by the way June oh you're you're. relatively new here yeah first time I. visited theer was in December when you. hear Americans complain about stuff is. there part of you that's like shut the. [ __ ] up no dude we're dude I'm a. Suburban kid overall don't get it. twisted your boy your boy had to BL just. a regular old CAC Bo yeah boy had the. PlayStation so really yeah of course I.

watching Chelle show fuing. gotta this is why I'm so confused about. Eastern Europe I'm like wait what no. Estonia is doing good like so it's. chilling eston oh yeah you I'm all. Suburban like middle class kid so got. you got you so I complain literally if. you give me like an Americano without no. crma on it you're pissed. off take me to. Hell literally take me to hell when the. you know when that you know when the bar. does the coffee and they put the they. put the thing under yeah you the thing.

is cuz I used to be in the service. industry I used to be in the service. industry the thing is you put it under. you're supposed to click it immediately. because if you don't see the thing metal. here is hot and it burns the coffee what. that's why you get sometimes like a. burnt feeling in the coffee and these. retards out there the Baristas some of. them some of them you know when you try. to get the good one in the back but then. you see the new yeah she don't know. America go over they're [ __ ] up the. beans have to go yeah they put it under.

it starts burning and they look for the. cup I'm kind of pissed I know that now. cuz I've never you your. life give that a turn did you ever tell. him like yo I've I've never I wouldn't. be able to do I'm e European we're not I. know Americans are hello excuse. me tell them to give a little B give it. a little I'll say thank you you're an. angel give him a kiss and leave with the. shittiest coffee I've ever had that's. how I do it and then I boil in the. corner morepro yeah I'm reading a book.

right now about an Irish immigrant who. came to America New York in 1949 all he. can do the whole time he's just like I. can't believe people are complaining. about this stuff but you're saying you. had a good life in Estonia which yeah I. mean I got out when the Soviet Union. collapsed it was thriv the economy was. thriving it's a new country yeah uh. culturally doing amazing I mean that's. another thing in standup you know I was. so lucky because it's not like like. Estonia is one of those random Eastern. European countries in terms of standup.

because when we started back in the day. you know the Soviet Union built a lot of. old theaters that's what communism does. you know they make everything grandios. yeah yeah and so so there are all these. good theaters beautiful venues and um. like communism in terms of cultur they. always encourage you to go out but they. always censored and gave you what they. want cuz that's how you control people. it's not the [ __ ] guns that control. people you have to control the culture. the subconscious mind you know you.

that's what you do like mamal Harris. L sorry CU and so. yeah American politics yeah you're right. so so that was was that a territory that. was part of Russia then it fell and they. gave yeah so there's all this Liberation. because there's such big censorship so. there's all this Liber internet the. Chappelle show South Park um all the all. the sketches would always be all a. sudden be more blue in terms of material. yeah they would the songs would be you.

know like punk rockish you know cuz with. all this Western culture is now. overflowing like I got remember Sex in. the City yeah I got Sex in the City and. Night Rider the same year remember Night. Rider yeah yeah because we got all this. [ __ ] you got oh you got all this. stuff once beetles everyone's. coming Ah that's kind of weird you you. got like three decades of culture I. watch Chappelle Show Golden Girls back. to back I was like these [ __ ] are. crazy and appreciate how old were you.

when this happened when all this like oh. I was born in '92 91 this one Union fell. but I mean but still I know you're. saying that it all came and hit when it. when a thing Falls it's not like okay. you got to cre currency laws culture now. you're also so strong in your and we had. our own language but the media was. always uh like translated from the. Russian influence so we never got our. own [ __ ] and now we but we always had it. on underground there would always be you. know so what was it like for the like.

the older people around you to have all. of that just stuff come out that must. have been [ __ ] nuts dude men. kissing just the sculpure The Matrix uh. mver I was watching T like. this. just that's kind of nuts to think about. yeah uh ATMs [ __ ] uh. CDs the uh cassette player Lincoln bar.

that's crazy it's all coming so you guys. just got all the tech bam that's kind of. cool and so there's an explosion and. also um what's perfect in standup For. standup it's perfect for every art form. but for especially standup the more. tension there is the bigger the release. can be right that's why standup is. thriving in America right now lots of. tension in the air MH the Rifts will be. fire yeah I mean like I know some I I.

know a Ukrainian open maker in. Kiev in K how's he imagine what they're. saying about the Russians imagine the. Rifts yeah probably Crazy Fire I didn't. think about that I think about the Rifts. like you know you know in that basement. people tell it like it E. True what are they riffing on over there. o they're calling because we have slurs. for Russians and all that so they're so. they're like P ah damn I didn't think. about wartime comedy like imagine if.

black people uh all of a sudden get got. control of America and then you're all. free you know they the enemy and all. that and then you're all free imagine. the Rifts the first night in the. basement you know yeah they be saying we. don't put salt on our food and [ __ ] it'. be. devastating that would be kind of cool. that would be kind of cool if they got. the finally the Black Planet I think I. think they're ripping pretty hard. already but yeah if they can go and. that's why uh. that's why black guys always roast white. guys cuz it's yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] you you.

know it's great true I mean even though. a lot of white guys weren't even. involved like whatsoever with their. stuff but yeah I hear you exactly I hear. you though it's true so the Rifts are. like true like imagine being in a. Russian guy in a key have open mic right. now yeah they find out you're Russian. it's going to be fire dude this crowd. will Eclipse Tik Tok City dude but then. if he can get up and defend himself that. might be kind of fire too he's fire too. yeah oh or or imagine Rifts in Mosa. right now Moscow cuz they lost ATMs they. lost Apple pay they're losing McDonald's.

you know the sanctions they're losing. porn but didn't imagine the Rifts the. Rifts are probably kind of weak in. Moscow right now or no I'll be like. we're going to Nuke them we're coming. back we're coming back I'll put the. Russian anthem on yeah cuz they've also. been you know kicked around after the. union collapsed they have yeah [ __ ] so. they're trying to you think they'll. actually unleash the. nuke I mean I'm sure the comedians are. literally chanting it as we speak that's. what my bit would be no if they nuked us.

successfully they could win the war I. hope they don't if you're listening. Russian propagandist don't dud you don't. they don't have the listen they don't. have the tech listen listen they I think. they got the nukes do you think they if. you go to St Petersburg today you say if. you go to St Petersburg today you're. going to see an iPhone 3GS remember 3GS. yeah you're going to see an iPhone maybe. four so it's [ __ ] so this missile. ain't going to make it over to the. greatest.

country listen I like to hear that's. good that's good news this missile so. why why is America messing with them so. bad this missile why do why do we have. such an obsession with Russia if they're. just like I mean they're a big Force I. mean they're big they're big they're big. they're on economy and all that I guess. they are kind of the biggest Force next. to Europe and China obviously I guess. they the Manpower that's what they're. doing with Ukraine yeah they have the. Manpower I guess we got to wait till. they just go like hey. 80. million go I'm sure you have all the.

cool missiles and drones but I have 80. million shaved men running yeah true. believing every word I say for the. motherland you know dude true they do. have the Manpower but their population's. aging isn't it so I figure once they get. old they're sending everybody there two. kids right now there's a 76y old grandma. throwing a grenade they have like little. they have little drummer boys. everybody's going brother [ __ ] they're. pulling people off the bus look at the. videos there's a nerdy guy like like.

Sean. Gardini with the glasses that's why. nerdy it's a stereotype like Sean like. imagine Sean on a bus the Army just. grabs puts a helmet on him and he's got. a [ __ ] go in a ditch do you think. Russia is going to lose the war they're. definitely are they losing pretty badly. I don't know every news article tells me. different yeah yeah I don't know who to. trust anymore you know I'm surprised. they win I mean hey let's just stop. killing and let's just make love that's. what I'm saying man yeah we got to give. them the TV show they had the TV shows.

for a while didn't they Russia had the. TV shows what do you mean they like when. Estonia got all the TV shows did Russia. not get the TV shows so I feel like they. got the jeans they got the blue jeans. but but but but but they got their own. [ __ ] going on they're like Spanish. people they're not on [ __ ] do Spanish. people have their own app like Facebook. or something yeah Chinese people have. like we WAP or whatever we. wew that wew. don't isn't that a thing for China it's.

called. like and it has everything it has the uh. Instagram feature it has the Twitter. feature it has the Forum feature like. when I was in uh when I was in aala lour. you would go on WeChat and you just put. in UFC tonight and it shows the bars and. the people hanging out there you can. already join the chat of the people. hanging out there and you can be like. what's. up so so that's where they always say. that that's where the hour apps also. come that's where they test all those. [ __ ] things oh really on the Chinese. population cuz they're so uh because. they consume so much of it I want to see.

what's up with China are they really. that in is everyone in China really that. into China or like sorry this is what I. do if I meet anyone from another country. I'm like you must know all about the. world I don't know have you been you've. never been to China I've been to Beijing. really I did a show there but it was. only for expats but when I was walking. around the Vibes were off The Vibes were. off they're off you know I could see The. Vibes sucking in China I really could. The Vibes [ __ ] suck dude uh I'm not. I'm not rude I don't want to be rude for. sure but four days in Beijing let me.

tell you as a 21y old hopeful kid with. baby blue eyes watching the world as it. is not judging anybody you know Vibe. sucked you can say I could go to Iran. need a dumpling I don't buy the hype I. could go to Afghanistan get on a beach M. you know I could go anywhere I don't buy. the hype yeah yeah but I got to tell you. the is rol in V sucked what's the CRA. KFC everyone's rude to me why all the. letters are [ __ ] up I mean they're. they're yeah true no no I get it I get.

it it's your [ __ ] but also the lines are. tough personal SPAC is a thing I'm. pointing at the picture you don't get. that yeah man cuz I don't speak Thai. either but it's Rift City I'll [ __ ]. show the hands I'll do a you know I want. chicken with rice I do the [ __ ] eyes. the Asian ice and I do that's chicken. with rice am I correct am I correct. that's pretty close am I. correct but yeah that no that that can. be that's tough if they're like. stonewalling you on the language it's. like bro I'm not going to study space.

invader language dude they look language. it looks like space invader characters. it do though it's like come on man knock. it off get some [ __ ] words so I I. feel your pain I'd be like come on guys. I would try to lead like a lead like a. revolution be like guys we have words. you don't have to draw little symbols. that's crazy so yeah for standup that. was like perfect for us you know uh like. when uh when I started and another guy s. started it was we were like the first.

guys and the upside of that is our open. mics two 300 people we have to go we. have to kick people out hundreds turned. away from the open mic CU it's cuz. they're coming from the for the novelty. cuz standup comedy they're like they. watch Louis C they watch Jimmy car they. watch they they're starting to get it. and also all the TVs would still be. stuck in the old Soviet ways you know. they're kind of bleeping stuff they're. not talking poy oh yeah not talking poty. talk YouTube came around so we already.

see Kevin Hart talking about a long day. and then I look at the TV it's kind of. boring for me yeah and then you find out. oh we have also standup comedy comedy. Estonia that was the. organization and uh the the the the mics. would be packed and the upside of being. a new culture in standup is that you. don't have to pay for the sins of the. previous generation is what the is the. big problem in like Canada and America. also the clubs held you guys down they. would pay you [ __ ] they would have to.

pay for stage time so people kep [ __ ]. you around all The Gatekeepers would. pull the ladder up not help anybody else. so you have so so you ended up with a. big actually [ __ ] system that. doesn't incourage Talent it kind of. discourages which also makes the diamond. shine out of course for sure but it also. discourages I'm sure there's a lot of. guys I mean I know a lot of guys who are. [ __ ] way funnier than me but they're. just stuck in a scene and they're kind. of stuck the politics of. the they can't do quite Tik Tok they're.

trying you know and then every time they. have that one showcase a month that the. club gives they get three. minutes so they don't it was popping in. Estonia it was so they don't really get. to shine but we got a big audience. straight off the top so you get a lot of. uh so you get a lot of um like um so I. don't want to what's the word not. support but like when the crowd is also. growing with you get lot yeah you get. real feedback you're. you're not doing like Angry coms being. like [ __ ] this guy and also I'm not.

saying we were the most original guys. either we went through because we're the. first ones at the well it's not like we. discovered the water you know we're. first ones so all the hack topics. have the first generation you know. that's awesome though that's pretty cool. I never thought about that yeah have you. been to Finland yeah what's Finland all. about I'm half Finnish are you really. and my name is the most finnished thing. you've ever heard true yeah what's up. with Finland I when I was a kid I grew. up the winter in Roa neari which is.

where lap land that's like near the. Arctic Circle and [ __ ] it's like bad out. there sucks what's the vi what's the. vibe like in it's like uh they had the. polar night you know that no just just. gray what and you're just at a bar ah. what time is it and you just low on D. vitamin I thought fin was like beautiful. no there's it's a long ass country so. there's different there's different. areas but you're really but I mean we.

also Estonia we don't we we have like. two to three months of the gray do you. really of the gray maybe one piece of. sunlight every two three weeks one piece. where you get the cloud kind of shows. you. what damn is it rainy or just kind of. like rainy gray and Misty gray Misty. rainy do you ever move around the Mist. though like kind of like [ __ ] like. blinders yeah. trust me I've had my py blindest face in.

Estonia but a toothpick I was a. toothpick guy when I was like 19 for. months yeah moving around the Mist. that'd be kind of sick that'd be pretty. tight yeah but always sick cuz the the. pey Blinder is clothing isn't actually. proper Winter. wear like if you look at py blinders he. fullblown suit but it's the middle of. winter if you think if you actually. think about it and those cars had no air. conditioning back then so if you think. about it he's actually freezing to death. he's having hypothermia yeah you're. exposed neck your voice ain't going to. be that [ __ ] smoth yeah you're way. chillier you're right they're way.

chillier than they so I would dress like. py blinders and then end up in. pneumonia well God damn dude well thanks. for doing this man I think you uh we're. at an hour. right 52 what the [ __ ] Lam mer oh you. already tired of me already I just I. like to keep it I keep it at an hour so. a nice for get that let's keep ripping. dude I'm I'm good to go I'm ready to rip. and grip you know so what's up with the. talk about what's up with me I'll tell. you what's up with me dude I'm on a 48. hour fast I told you that already God.

damn 48 hour fast honestly dude I'm just. trying to like you know what I'm trying. to figure out right now tell me how to. just sit down like anywhere I am and. just be kind of chilling you know what I. mean it's hard I've been trying to. figure this out forever there's got to. be some combinations of words I can just. put into my head to where I'm like you. don't one of those guys who needs to say. shut up brain I'm one of those guys too. dude yeah big time so I'm trying to. learn how to just chill so hard huh d i. I always live in the future I can't even.

every moment I've appreciated in my life. has been in retrospect yeah and that's. such a Cy thing of hey. God what what's up with that that I can. only H be happy about something when. it's over yeah take me to the now what. do I do like every holiday I've ever had. has always been like that really during. covid I went to Barcelona for a few. months you know just didn't do comedy. disappeared it's kind of nice that's why. I love Thailand too you can just.

disappear but then my mind you know yeah. like I was the happiest I've ever been. in Barcelona and I had no idea when it. was happening I was just walking around. oh you got back when's my next gck I. wonder yeah that sucks I uh when you're. I've I've been depressed on a vacation. before in like a beautiful area and. that's like that gets kind of rugged. when you're like a beautiful tropical. area and you're just kind of like you're. like dude I [ __ ] suck yeah sometimes.

I wish like when I was on a beach I just. wish like on the boat like the Somalian. comes and then we have to fight to the. death and I barely make it I'm in the. hospital beep beep all over then I come. back just to do something with my life. you yeah dude I was I was uh that same. book about the Irish immigrant he's. talking about a Native American guy dude. they're all like working in a hotel and. he was just like the Native American is. like dude this [ __ ] is so embarrassing. for us like we should be riding horses. and just [ __ ] like shooting each. other with bows and arrows he's like. that's the only thing a dude should do.

he's like we're preparing a [ __ ]. banquet room he's like this is. humiliating we should be riding around. taking each other's scalps and just. chilling uhhuh just chilling you know I. mean I I see what he's saying obviously. it's kind of a rough life but like yeah. I can see I I do the same thing I'm in. my house it's like doesn't matter what. your house looks like I'm just waiting. for someone to break in I want to fight. them to death that's like it's all I. want to do most exhilarating I walk. downstairs naked every night I'm like. please let this be the night my dream in. life is to be like a Survivor like I'm.

on a bus with children everybody. dies you want to be. unbreakable exactly I want what I want. is the interview where on the witness. Survivor I'd love that interview i' are. you still wounded are do you still have. wounds in the. interview I clean myself up I mean it's. National. exposure and promote the dates you know. Survivor would be nice. sometimes you see those surv you know. when somebody Witnesses something. they're always.

like I saw and I'm like this is 45. minutes after it happened nothing. prepared dude I have a fullon true whole. Arc I would lie I would be like I saved. the baby but then the baby said you go. be great you know and that's how the. baby died you know I'd say. that true the baby told me to go Estonia. Estonia comies SC dude cannot lose one. of the real ones yeah yeah yeah yeah but. now you're America bro but yeah the do.

you have friends in Estonia like. reaching out like oh yeah I have. visitors all the time and uh yeah. everyone's super supportive you know. that also used to be a big thing that. when I tried to cuz I did comed in. Canada you know I've done the Seattle. competition I've done some things on. this side of the world and uh I was felt. like an outsider and it's keeping me. back cuz every time I watch my favorite. comedians like Bill he talks about the. game he talks about football you know he. knows all the references he goes the.

Philly rat you know he goes yeah the. Buffalo Eagle suck whatever I don't you. know I'm sorry I don't know the te oh. you're good man I don't really follow. sports like that either I don't follow. Sports I'm very I don't care either you. know there's I love every time I see. Shane he's literally talking about the. game every time yeah yeah love sports. most guys in America do love sports. everybody loves sports every Green Room. every every every day everyday sports is. in my face like about the you know the. game the fantasy my fantasy tell people. you don't care about it or you just try. to prend I try to integrate you try to. get along in the convers have you been.

busted doing fake Sports talk at all. very much so Shan you know shanon sharp. I go yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he's he. jump he's a jumper you know. like cuz I think it's some NBA gay NBA. gay NBA gay NBA. guy so I would always feel like I'm U. like I'm Outsider I know try you know. you watch American comedians you try to. recreate that I would be influenced and. all that I just try you know but then I. had that like snap of like where I.

realized holy [ __ ] I actually have an. advantage of having a story that I'm not. from here I'm literally more rare than a. than a gay black guy now I know I know. 72 gay black guys were Comedians and. they're funny as [ __ ] right yeah I don't. no Estonian [ __ ] out there. you're the only one I know yeah I went. to no I don't think he was from Estonia. I knew one other guy I'm picturing in my. mind I don't now that I think about it I. don't know much about this guy it's. assume he's from Easter Europe I don't.

know. why but that's [ __ ] sick yeah dude. it's better to be you know have the. outside experience I think so sometimes. I do feel lonely in the culture a little. but then I just uh talk to my Estonia. friends or they come and visit. everyone's super supportive what's the. biggest difference in culture you would. say Estonia to America well right now. it's a personal thing it's it's a. personal thing depends on the person but. for me. yeah yeah I got. you trying to be a pedestrian in.

America nothing's more. disrespected in America we do look down. on pedest we look down on pedestrians. pretty hard we need laws to protect. hey I'm walking over. here why am I. next why am I on the. I35 with a truck going. [ __ ] 170 kilometers an hour next to. my face this close yeah and why is it so.

loud I can't relax on my walk huh yeah. and and in America if you don't have a. driver's license like me I don't have a. driver's license really I'm literally. disabled bird scooter yeah I feel dis. I'm literally yeah a bird scooter dude. even the other day I was hanging out. with [ __ ] israa with Tony hinchliff. everyone Superstar every has Cadillacs. and then P I'm next to them I take the. scooter dude I scoters back and forth. all the time they're awesome SC you look. like a scooter guy though it's dude you. ride past it yeah dude you need to be.

pretty jacked to handle those things it. can kick on kick on you no I Ride. Scooters yeah I love them man dude that. that's my favorite thing riding from a. house down to the mother ship on a. scooter and back you yeah put headphones. in all I do sir it's awesome put. headphones in riding away from a good. set on the lime scooter people don't. know it's [ __ ] it's a nice feeling. you know when people are like some. people see you outside the club you're. like what's up bro yeah when people are. like you want to do a bump of coke no. I'll put Pink Floyd on think about what. a superstar I'm becoming and ride in the.

fresh air who doesn't want to do that. ride by the creek and Cave you're like. oh anybody see me [ __ ] those guys all. know. me but there's a lot of things I can't. do like I even go to a Best Buy yeah. grocery sh best well now you can order. your ordering groceries sucks they pick. out [ __ ] and they smell like. cigarettes you get onions they smell. like [ __ ] they don't feel the. avocados like I do they don't [ __ ] no. that's right this is me with a. tomato true feel it if it's good vibes.

you're right though they they pick. [ __ ] [ __ ] pros and then the dates. they always pick the expiration dates oh. thanks for bringing me milk that expires. in six hours yeah they don't reach the. back shelf yeah they always go for the. back shelf I love that in the grocery. store and you find an expiration date. that's like new like older and you go. nice try [ __ ] you pull the milk from. the back it's the best dude I know you. and then you look you know the other. side of the Shelf you look [ __ ] nice dry. I know you [ __ ] well dude we did it. we're at an hour [ __ ] man thank.

you so much thanks for doing this too by. the way it a short notice dud I'm glad. you came I really like your comedy thank. you bro you haven't been around recently. you were around a lot I remember we and. we did some bad shows together yeah man. you're funny as hell dude you're doing. it thanks man you're funny too also such. a left turn for the chicks to be like. cuz I go who's pound for pound. hottest guy in the oh you're asking the. women I was asking of course it's seven. women I'm I'm gonna ask who's the.

hottest guy that's a good that's a good. move and I'm expecting you know they go. like oh you know I'm like this. Sean they didn't mention you. Sean but you game clear yeah darus Benet. I get it if I hear like a black guy with. a hat I get. it Darius B they're irresistible have. you seen Darius dress literally dress is. like Dolomite is shooting. tonight dud this guy swab every time.

yeah black guy with a cool like bowler's. hat is yeah I. me H all comfortable with the hwah shoes. and and chicks are like that's I didn't. know you talking about me specifically. chicks are like [ __ ] oh my God he's. soed and. balanced he doesn't hang around and talk. about dumb. [ __ ] maybe you know maybe I represent a. doorway into life all makes sense and. that gives a lot of Hope well I.

appreciate that man I thank you for. bringing me that piece of information I. can't be black no I know unfortunately. you could put some hawas on start. fasting get like get like a nice wife. kiss her on the lips all the time kiss. her hard I could do I could I could do. you can do that and then all the female. comedians will cover you yeah cover. they'll cover it more so what you. represent I'm just kind of like a symbol. Chi love mystery you know it's true. that's what you got going on too. I when I would see you at the mothership. in the back you just.

[ __ ] obser Sil strong silent strong. silent bro Tak it all I also have. extreme social anxiety so I'm just. sitting there the whole time just like. oh [ __ ] yeah but now that I know a lot. of comedian babes are liking my [ __ ]. think about you bro no I'll start. walking around with a little more. confidence like one girl literally goes. like this oh that's [ __ ] awesome news. I'm I'm going to show this to my wife I. love that's the best thing I like to. tell my wife she liter goes like this oh. he's so hot oh I like that Jesus that's.

nice thank you for telling me this man. literally like just a wet through the. jeans really damn on you that's crazy. bro that's pretty hot but I get it I get. it I don't man I don't see it I don't. see it but I mean look CU you're like. you're like a mysterious guy I do like. being your wife true they like that yeah. yeah but dude yeah I like the idea of it. then you get you know one-on-one it's. just nothing but smoking mirrors and.

problems and [ __ ] so yeah they don't. know it's actually the monkey with the. things in. my they're like What's He thank you dude. thank you for telling me that I'm going. to take that information to my wife and. rub it in her. face um appreciate you bro thank you for. having me on you're great you're great I. love I would love to get married you can. do it bro you can do it if you know some. good girl you hear that out there you. guys can get everyone can get married. girls want to get married so [ __ ] bad.

uh they're actually pretty annoying. about it um it's hope for everybody out. there to get married so love you guys.