Ep 457 - Honey Dipz (feat. Tim Butterly & Naim Ali)

w w West damn. dude is this dud chill I can't dude I. can't welcome to the [ __ ] pod. dude welcome to yet another week dude of. just. gallantry pure [ __ ] who see that you. ever seen three men doing extreme. sitting you know what I'm saying this. extreme sitting right here [ __ ] that. slow motion goal celebration this is. what this is what's up dude true dude. did you do subtitle this damn oh [ __ ] yo.

he rode the edge of the Jo with the bean. I mean it is what it is that's a lip. stall welcome na his manual meter is. going crazy right now welcome Naim. welcome Tim welcome to the [ __ ]. pod thank you for having us it's great. to be here thanks for coming man thanks. for [ __ ] coming yeah dude Shane's in. Ireland I figured what the hell dude. it's Friday visiting the motherland. kissing the soil I told his uh told his. family to kiss the ground for me and. might kiss the soil hell yeah bring some. dirt back I was like kind of like you. know I wasn't get that much Shane.

laughed and I went yeah that was a funny. thing of me to. say dude what the [ __ ] is up not much. man I had to I had to peel myself away. from video games to be here I've been. playing tons of armor core lately no way. for. really kid what the [ __ ] dude when we. were in Tampa I I punished Matt with. speed running videos just the history of. Castlevania speed speed running is no oh. my God it's when someone plays a video.

game as fast as they can so you know if. you beat a video game you're a normal. person you're like [ __ ] yeah dude I beat. a video game imagine beating a video. game like I could do that faster okay me. and my friends used to compete in that. like if like when remember Zelda. oakarina a time when that game came out. me and my friends was like yo who's. going to beat this [ __ ] first bro cool. now imagine that and I lied and said I. beat it first I didn't I got to the. final balls first he spliced it but then. I lost I spiced it bro I did I really. spiked it D so how' you was it over then. have you been Have You been carrying.

this lie the whole time I had no nobody. knows this until just now I've never. admitted this ever damn I'm sorry swizzy. sorry Michael baram sorry jar Mills you. know what I'm saying my bad y I lied. about that I lied I mean wait till the. speedrun Dem archive forums hear about. this I didn't know you could lie about. Zelda I thought it was physically. impossible I mean that's like a Deep Lie. that's a Zelda is anant it's like an. enchanted like FY forest and bro I made. it to the end of the game before all of. them did I just didn't beat the final. boss so then when my first when swizzy.

beat the final bosss I really was like. jealous but I was like I did that. already I'm saying catch the [ __ ] up bro. I did that already you but yeah you ask. him like how did you end up doing like. what was your meth I did ask him and. then I went back and actually did itz I. didn't even know how to do it yeah oh. yeah you got I know how to beat him but. what what did you do so. specifically yeah I that's pretty much. how I did it last week yeah D Dam I told. him I I lied and said that there were.

two different ways to beat him there's. not there's not there's only one way to. beat this boss at the end of Zelda bro. oh you told him you did the other you're. like yeah you did that but like yeah I. distracted him on this side and then. just kept hitting him from behind he was. like oh damn I didn't even think about. that that doesn't even work he got arm. he got armor on his back you can't do. damage on his back well na that doesn't. even seem possible the way I did it uh. maybe you'd like to show us he had you a. controller and you're like oh God that. ruined me bro and like [ __ ] seventh. grade or some [ __ ] I'd have been done he. told the whole class I think the N64 is. overheated dude we should probably turn.

it. off said we got to turn it off but guys. shut mom yeah Mom I be right back you. guys all have to go home mom said I. gotta be home dude yeah I'm sorry guys. got to leave yeah video game lying is uh. a very specific form of lying that's it. is so so nice it's one of the first. Temptations for most dorks true to video. game I know I felt it yeah I know was. curious if you ever been tempted to. video game lie oh for sure I still I. mean i' still deal with it you know. until I get both feet out of video. gaming and I'm still kind of like in the.

trenches all the time there's just. Temptations to be like oh yeah I killed. the boss on the first try technically. you almost did though I almost did I. almost did take down the armor core six. be honest did your thing really crash or. is that a video game Lie video you know. what is your is your thing really crash. love to present myself as a virtuous and. honest man and there is video proof of. this happening okay nice there's a video. proof of the black screen occurring this. the the audio continual I mean I have. nothing to defend myself did you have to. go did you have to go you guys saw you.

guys saw oh absolutely and then I had. people saying that like I cuz I I I ran. it back on him and I I [ __ ] around. with I destroyed this dude on the. on my first and a half attempt I'm not. calling on the second attempt and I had. people saying that like that doesn't. count one Aster you beat him on the. first Aster true it's an aster honestly. it's an aster doesn't mean it's not the. first attempt it was you got taken off. the stre I guess but yeah but here's the. thing is like I have to live with this. is your permanent record I know like. throughout the entire Dark Souls series. how you do against like the first boss. everyone wants to claim they beat first.

time that's all I have dude I have. nothing else you're so honest and this. is so I can't I can't I can't obviously. I could delete the save and go back but. as a person I can't go back true and. have you know first attempt again yeah. you know what happened I do but it's. like that was that was it there's it's. it was for everyone to see it's my. heart's open and it's like I you know I. I guess I can't really say I'm a first. I'm thinking about how all of our. ancestors are going to see everything. we've ever done and they're going to. have to be like yeah my granddad beat.

our ancestors or our my predecessors. whatever they called I always call them. ancestors the ancestors people these are. my cave drawings our baby's babies. they're going to be like yo he beat it. in one try my video G are my cave. drawings and they're going to go ah look. at this dude. screen this game [ __ ] crashed. computer I didn't know white people had. ancestors I thought it was like a black. word true you think an don't you only. hear black people say ancestors we don't. we don't talk about them we that's a. black word yeah ancestors is for and.

Chinese and Chinese Chinese they were. the number one ancestor like talk and. natives Native Americans also they talk. about ancestors true you rarely hear. white people talk about you guys made us. feel so ashamed about them. dude yeah it's not exactly a safe space. to summon them to summon them please. don't summon them. please please. don't you know how mad our ancestors. would be the dude yeah if I had to be.

like I need help in my relationship like. your wife is what like stop stop. it yeah bro no I'm lucky I could go back. one not even a generation one parent I'm. so lucky my dad is dead bro he [ __ ]. hated white people did he really what. yeah bro he killed the white man he. killed the white 12y old boy when he was. like no the he was 12 and the kid was 14. he killed a 14y old uhuh he shot him. okay with a 22 long rifle damn people. don't know 22s can kill you oh hell yeah.

this was in like 19 my dad was born in. 1936 so it was like 1940 something what. the [ __ ] your dad was born in 1936 yeah. he died when he6 you missing an. ancestor got you skipped one how old. your dad he was born in 1936 he was bit. by a vampire in. 1961 um so technically [ __ ] technically. he had been alive for 4 years but. permanently 12 dad would have been 90. something right now yeah wait almost.

almost yeah he died at. 86 he just died your dad's 20 so you're. not lucky he's dead it's just like it's. insane that he lived that long it is. insane he lived that long and he didn't. quit smoking until he was 77 so wait he. killed a white guy in. 1947 in Thompson Georgia and then then. my grandma sent him to New York penalty. nothing cuz my grandma put him on the. train sent him to New York they was GNA. Lynch him they going kill I was about to. say yeah I'm surprised I was like I must. have gave him community service or. something yeah you know how he did it. you know how he did godamn George da.

dud Community soft on crime 1940 South. dude oh they was going to hang his they. they burn my grandma house down oh no. cuz just looking for my dad yeah that's. one way to do it hell where is he where. is he not in here oh he's not here well. now you have nowhere to come back to. well then you burn the house down you go. it's kind of like Skinner's box and it's. like was he here is he here is he not. you don't know now you don't know he. could have been in there he could have. not been you don't know where he is true. but no he was on his way to New York. when he did that I do like that period.

of time you can do something terrible. and just go to another state change your. name you good bro he's gone M he's gone. forever hell yeah my dad's actual name. is John but when he moved to New York. talk about his name was Joe that's how. how easy it was criminal. genius I'm. hn damn so what uh what was the what was. the fight about um he was working a. supermarket and he said these white kids. pushed so back in the day you would take. a Foot Locker with you to the the. supermarket and you put all your.

groceries in there en tire. store yeah well I guess well I guess you. would have you would pull up your cars. two this stuff but I don't [ __ ] know. a tiny guy in a referee. referee take a whole foot lock take. Supermarket you're looking to milk a. tiny referee guys's like let me know if. I can help you with. anything it's like The Indian in the. Cupboard what size milk do you need wait. so what so what is a Foot Locker it's. like a chess it's like a chest with like. a lock bring chest to the grocery store.

people would bring like a a chest. treasure treasure chest I mean not that. heavy like anine at a Time treasure. chest yeah similar very similar and. these kids and my dad was working there. and he would like help people put their. groceries inside of they Foot Locker and. they had close it put in the back of. they horse and buggy or whatever the. [ __ ] they had back then and then they. pull the [ __ ] off wind up. car just cranking that [ __ ] in the. front yeah so then what these white kids. how loud do you think he was blasting. like jazz out of that thing he was. dumping that [ __ ] bro yo and all honesty.

up until my. dad L like even. recently really and then so he was he. was filling the Foot Locker oh then they. pushed him inside of they pushed him. inside the one the Foot Locker yeah and. then they locked they closed and locked. it but this one this Foot Locker like I. guess didn't belong to anybody so they. just left it there and then they didn't. find them till the next day so he got. out they Ultimate Warrior your dad yes. they locked him in some [ __ ] and he was. stuck there for like a day bro what hell. yeah dog and then he freaked out I bet.

he knew these kids played so he went up. he said he like went up in the tree with. his 22 Long Nose rifle well his dad 22. long NOS rifle he saw him playing and he. said he let off one shot and hit the kid. in the neck kid died head shot damn so. they I mean essentially that's like. buried it's like the fear of buried. alive yeah hell yeah so he was buried. alive basically for day how he got out. one of the people that worked at the. store opened it like oh [ __ ] the [ __ ] is. this when they opened it was he like it. was like there was a running track in.

there and there were tons of sneakers. and there was a bunch of helpful. gentlemen D like. officiator dress like. officiator yeah bro damn that's [ __ ]. wild so who let him out he went way too. far bro you don't kill deal with it you. got locked in the dude if someone locked. you in a Foot Locker for a day I I would. say deal with it you can't kill somebody. for that that's nuts bro dude but you've. never been put your mind in the put your. yourself in the mind of a 12-year-old. spazzing true yeah that's true all right. 12-year-old spaz definitely in 1932 cuz.

back then it was just like and you get. away with my daddy's gun now didn't you. fight six cops for way. less all right come on God damn it Jesus. Christ dude let me let me pretend to be. a good guy Jesus Christ I did wait for. what I beat up six cops before at the. same time yes well they didn't oh yeah. Bo stupid yeah you're a boxer they just. wait like video game guys they like they. go like this around they twinkle their.

fingers like this and go and like. Shuffle around you and [ __ ] and they. wait for you to hit them. first yeah true I they come in one at a. time do a little bit of kung fu yep take. one out did you do any of those like you. like Get Low and sweep your leg. backwards on them and just take take. five of them down at. once hit him with all the ninja turtle. moves bro I'm still fascinated by that. whole situation who let him out of the. locker some uh I think he said it was. his manager that worked that like the. supermarket yeah and he said the manager.

was a white guy he said the guy let him. out and he was like all right time to. get to work and he was like [ __ ] this. job and ran home oh my god did he have. to like piss in the locker or anything. he pissed in [ __ ] all on his oh yeah I. mean this is you're building a case. yeah dude so imagine but imagine how. when you have to like examine like first. second third degree murder if you were. locked in a tiny box and [ __ ] on. yourself yeah and then finally thank God. some guy let you out and was like back. to your shitty job it's like like it.

might be gun time oh yeah me obvious. it's not you shouldn't shoot kid. especially if that's the first thing you. hear is your boss like all right you're. back to work oh yeah might freak out. yeah that might be time to snap it's. understandable but still you can't shoot. people bro you could he probably could. went and fought the kid or something you. shouldn't but also it was what it was. 1940 yeah you get away with things in 19. in the 1940s yeah there was you know I. gu he said one of his neighbors killed. another neighbor cuz he like stole some. of his tools and the guy never got. locked. up yeah yeah that's a 1940s crime BR not.

even that's a 1940s just disagreement. bro it happens like every day now if you. do construction somebody steals your. tools and you're like I'll go to Home. Depot you don't kill them yeah but back. then it was like you had your little tin. pil and it was like your. great-grandfather's one R someone stole. it your whole business clap dude I had a. way of accessing bolts and loosening. them now I'm out of business yeah right. yeah Dam that would suck for for one. thing just to tank your business yeah. dude damn bro I could loosen that yeah I.

was you see that um painkiller [ __ ] on. Netflix no what is that you didn't see. that oh Oxy Cotton is it like a. dramaticized version of them it is nice. but the fact of the matter is a bunch of. people died from that [ __ ] and these. [ __ ] is billionaire still yeah. you can't T that business they got way I. lived it you lived it yeah man I watched. my mom go from Doctor to doctor getting. new Oxon scripts yeah dude I went. through it that stuff makes me. angry watch. I don't really like it very much yeah.

you're going to take it person it was. nuts I remember I remember it was almost. when when the painkiller stuff was like. it approached like a tsunami people were. just like yo they're they're putting out. you know they're talking about before I. ever even heard of anyone getting a. prescription they were already talking. about how you just Chomp it and and. break the uh extended release yeah what. yeah I knew about people abusing. oxycotton before like it even hit the. streets what you that's crazy you think. well you know I don't know any like. Street Walkers who are just [ __ ]. panhandling and abusing drugs and then.

it was like one doctor gives you the. prescription there's no like support in. place it's like the mid90s and I just. dude I watched it tank this lady damn so. you was at Ground Zero with that [ __ ] oh. absolutely yeah I watched doctors be. like nah and then it was like well I'll. just get a new doctor and you go to a. new doctor and they're just like yo. you're in pain here you go man then they. like you know they hit they hit us with. a. fibromyalgia which is like I don't I. don't know how real that well it shows. up it doesn't show up I don't think on.

really anything it does yeah that's the. thing and then it's like you argue cuz. it's like oh I'm I'm Ill and it's like. No One Believes Me and then it's also. like I I read years later that like it's. it's basically a syndrome that comes up. after you've like really gone deep on. painkillers and then and then when. you're off them everything just hurts I. thought it was when like girls are in a. bad mood for too long to get fom oh this. [ __ ] got fibromyalgia must be that time. of the month if you ask me that's she. got fiom if ask me that's what it is.

dude yeah it's when it's when moms get. addicted to smoking cigarettes in their. room that's. fibromyalgia yeah damn and then uh. Comcast introduced uh Turner Classic. Movies and it was just over for her oh. [ __ ] yeah I think if it becomes not fair. enough you get fiber. myalgia yeah you get early onset must be. nice. my allerg that's like HIV and.

AIDS what the [ __ ] just inter she used. to like throw herself on the ground in. like the driveway of emergency rooms. like she would throw herself in front of. ambulances so that they would put her on. her bed and take her in God damn nigas. do hit you with the morph shot sh you. get something while while you're waiting. for it yeah man why do people like being. sleepy so much I don't get it where the. [ __ ] is the point of being sleepy all I. hate being sleepy I hate just getting. sleepy naturally I like why why my body. doing this to me a woman thing women. women love sleeping they do you're right.

they love the net I think sleeping is. painful same I hate it it's a waste of. time. I you know what my sleep routine is. right now my sleep routine is uh I stay. awake for as long as I physically can. and then I fall asleep going like. no like that's it like when I fall. asleep I'm dead yeah you're dying and. then I wake up and I go [ __ ] that sucked. I don't feel I go up and I just like I. slam things around to make coffee in the.

kitchen yeah on 3 and 1/2 hours of sleep. I go never again. man [ __ ] told you this was [ __ ] dude. I just sit it for three and a half hours. total waste of time I look over at my. wife and she's sleeping with just the. most peaceful peaceful expression on her. face I'm just like what the [ __ ] are you. doing what's your problem what the [ __ ]. how about you enjoy. Dreamland I'm out here in the real world. where stuff's actually. happening I can't remember anything.

every day dude like say you're my wife I. get up every morning I look over and. she's just couldn't look at more at rest. and I go and I get out jump at her you. should choke her a little bit and run. out of the room real quick one yeah like. you dreamt about what I try to stay in. the same position all through the night. really yeah I try to stay on my back. like this whole night bro most nights I. do it like when I was in college my. roommates be like bro you sleep like you. in the casket I'm like I'm practicing. bro you see what I'm. saying the best way for your back and. stuff you feel great your body feels.

great if you could just stay like this. do you feel great in the morning my dad. used to make me practice not [ __ ] on. myself in a Foot. Locker so I like to stay completely. still yeah yeah I I sleep on my side. like a dead horse dude I just [ __ ]. lay head of the pillow I'm done with. side sleeping side sleeping yeah I can't. do that my shoulders too [ __ ] up yeah. all my bones are [ __ ] up for weeks. after I do that really yeah yeah I can't. sleep I'm fine you on your left side. that's gay right side always oh right. you cool then that's cool dick a wife.

that's cool mhm you know in Islam you. know you sleep on your right side so. you're not gay earring isn't on the. pillow I I used to sleep on my stomach. gay gayest thing ever you know why I did. that you know why I did that dude cuz. they said in when I was in like seventh. grade someone told all the girls that if. they laid on their stomachs gravity. would pull their boobs down to make them. bigger so I slept on my stomach thinking. it was going to stretch my dog stretch. your dick off. and then I got comfortable like that but.

you wake up and you're like oh it kills. your back I think sleeping on my stomach. put a slight curve in my penis you think. so you're a pressure you get hard into. the mattress and it's got nowhere to go. it's like a plant growing towards the. sun yeah it's got to curve. out y'all [ __ ] your body you don't do. that I'm like a tree growing around a. fence now. dude stomach sleepers are the per it's. like the pervious [ __ ] you you know Devi. in the kran it says it like Muslims if. you Muslim you can't sleep on your left. side or on your stomach really cuz Jens.

go in your ass Jens is like little. demons no if you sleep in your back Jin. is going in your ass cuz it's falling. from your penis to your ass. no no must translate the [ __ ]. wingdings wrong dude I think wing. dings the wing dings yo that [ __ ] do. like wing. dings damn Arabic hard [ __ ] to read I. yeah I can imagine and and they write.

this way they write from right to left. yeah the dumbest [ __ ] ever that is very. stupid everything in the world goes left. or right yes and if you right-handed you. GNA smudge it cuz I'm left-handed and I. smudge because I write this way so if. you right-handed you writing this way. you gonna smudge your paper well which. one is the hand that they wipe their. butt with left all the dirty [ __ ] is. left hand y all the clean [ __ ] is right. hand it's kind of tight yeah they have. do you have like it's like the little. bowl of water above the toilet kind of. I've seen that before they do they do. get a lot of credit for like figuring a. lot of [ __ ] out first like math and.

stuff like that but thank God people. came around C coffee from the Muslim. world the mus the muzzies had a great. first draft on a lot of things they. figured some [ __ ] out bro thank God we. stole it all bro they wiped they wiped. their dicks off I still wiped my dick. off I was raised that way after what I. piss and wiped my dick off I piss do a. slight like Crouch and wipe my dick off. so don't so don't no piss dribbling my. girl you slam it as hard as you can from. belly. B that's not good enough for you guys. sling piss everywhere or you just put it. right back in your.

pants or you just put it right back in. your pants and go nobody knows I have a. little bit of pee in my pants right now. I'm going to go I'm going to leave yeah. that's true but then what what about. when it's time to make Sal lot and it's. time to pray now you got now you got. piss in your draws you praying to God. why you all dirty with God understands. no he doesn't yeah he does you know. women can't even pray on they period bro. and you trying to go in there with piss. that's cuz God doesn't want to hear it. [Laughter]. dude God God's so mad about your prayers. about that one coworker you don't.

like that's enough no more you know what. I don't want to hear your prayers all. week until this stops I will hear none. of your prayers God's like I just got in. the door could you give me a. minute yo why can't we do that like like. look [ __ ] don't talk to me for the rest. of this week when your period go off. then we can talk the [ __ ] period tent. yeah they used to have a period tent. said the Muslims had that figured out. too and I think the Jews did it too. they' put you out in the period Jew did. do it too seven days you know how hard. it you we know they're difficult to deal.

with during that time imagine no AC come. on AC they're not thrilled about it. either though you know no snacks they're. not obviously but dude I you know my. ankle hurts I don't go ruin the [ __ ]. VI right they are not thrilled for sure. they're not thrilled about it plus think. about and I I hate to play Devil's. Advocate but I love arguing with you. guys think about how crabby dudes get. when they just get like frustrated and. they don't know how to communicate true. like you just get silently mother.

[ __ ] you know that's true and they're. kind of just like okay he's. mean that's true all right I guess he's. mean tonight you know they love that. dude women love when a dude's on edge in. house dance it's part dance they want to. try to pull you out of it dude if I were. to go like emotional dances dude my wife. would L nothing more than for me to come. home and like slam something down and. what's the matter me be like nothing oh. [ __ ] okay then she would love that get. oh my God I get it what's bothering but. then on the but the other side of that.

coin is that you you have to be like oh. and then what did you say to her you. know what I mean yeah damn that sucks. and that's the other side of that coin. well I say just then ignore her and then. and then she goes but that's not even. what it's about and you go. okay the dance it is the dance and they. will tell you like just who cares if I'm. upset just leave me alone you're like. okay so not you want me to not give a. [ __ ] so that's the last thing I should. do yeah true yeah you can't do that. first don't [ __ ] take you can't hit. him real quick like my.

problem yeah one time my my girl told me. she said I hate that you always try to. solve my problems exactly you're telling. me problem I'm supposed to do I don't. know what like what do you do somebody's. telling you problems bro you're not. supposed to try to solve them you. supposed to just sit there be like well. I don't know what you going to do about. that what what do you say it's crazy. that's abuse brother you shouldn't have. to take that I should you're right. you're right I me imagine a dude imagine. having a like a secondary dude brain. following you around being like yo you. know what you could do i' be like all. ears oh God right what could I do God.

okay for sure appreciate that y I wish I. had that yeah it' be awesome. damn that's why I like that's why I like. rolling around with my boys bro because. like if I'm with Tim and we doing some. [ __ ] and I think some [ __ ] is dumb I'm. like yo should I even do this right now. bro you see what I'm saying the bad. thing about this guy is he'll be like. yeah dude why. not to go stage Tim should I do this. assit right now dude of course why not. the [ __ ] no one likes any of my [ __ ]. dude no one likes any of my.

answers you're too. supportive I hear the same thing from my. wife she asked me to start raising my. voice yeah what yeah because I think. it's cuz I'm too autistic if anything. gets like too contentious I'm just like. this is getting complicated I'm going to. just be quiet I'm going just be quiet. and think about video games yeah and. she's like you you never even raise your. voice when we argue so I I have tried it. and like I said dude don't listen to. their answers for anything cuz i' I've. tried it she like what the f what's your. problem yeah but were you.

like this is what I'm always talking. about you know what I might help don't. ask me. for BL. out that's for all time I said I can't. pause it it's. online you know that. [Laughter].

I'm trying to give call outs and you. started. vacuuming no I don't do that. man so funny damn BR nerd rage nerd. ra a woman could not possibly oh my God. heavy grounds for dismissal oh yeah she. would leave immediately you can't do. that it would be a nuclear test just. their flesh flying off through the back. of their body there would be a shadow. behind her on the wall.

permanently yeah but it I'm trying to. clutch this right. now it can Escalade physically and all. you do is just scratch your arm real. hard Indian. burn just give her just's give her an. inefficient push and she like the [ __ ]. was that you're spitting little bits of. Baja Blast in her. face bro yeah like the [ __ ] so I mean. medical grade bad.

breath you're bouncing in the gaming C. the whole. time H the lady with nerd. rages [ __ ] hilarious they've never. seen it I don't never seen it yo no I. think only I think only siblings see it. that's to say only brother yeah only. brother see that [ __ ] you keep spamming. crying at me it's not. [Laughter]. fair yo dud [ __ ].

this BR you get you get even weirder and. start start doing the start hurting your. [ __ ] s you pull oh my God start. shoving [ __ ] your. ass you start just twisting the Xbox. controller in your. hand trying to break [ __ ] that you can't. break that's the that's the highest. level of nerve rage it's grabbing some. [ __ ] that you should be able to break. but you can't break it you grab a pencil. you like no. the. W yeah and then cry top it all C oh.

God [ __ ] you it is dude it is it is nice. as hell though if you've got a nice pair. of headphones that you're wearing that. you can pick up and just slam Spike into. the ground dude bounce them off a desk. that's nice true punch the [ __ ] out of. the wall well dude I've I've slowly. figured out that I don't have to get. completely physically floored whenever. my wife's upset like today I think I. like I theoretically understood it and. today I took her keys out I forgot her. keys in my pocket so I like walked the. dogs she was trying to go somewhere I.

was on the phone with my brother and I. get a text like where are you I'm like. what the [ __ ] you want she's like I. called you five times my stomach just. like yes that'll [ __ ] you bro I you have. your keys right now oh [ __ ] I'll be here. and I I was like wait a second who cares. I don't give a [ __ ] they make you there. was no problem I was it's so weird how. much of that problem I was cuz Al I'm. like why are you so [ __ ] mean at me. and she didn't even really care that. much bro she was being a [ __ ]. but no she didn't she was like whatever. so. yeah that spun me out I was like oh man.

I was part of so much of that by being. like Oh God all [ __ ] you're working. yourself up cuz you know it's about you. think it's a confrontation coming and. then you walk in like oh this is a. confrontation let me say something first. it's sub it's subconscious like. childhood stuff it's like Spas Mom it's. remnants of Spas Mom oh so that's why. I'm like that my mom you a spom if you. have a Spas Mom it's like as soon as. your wife gets upset you're like I think. she's going to SP so I'm preparing. myself you're ready for a humongous lady. spazzing at you could you imagine if she. doesn't listen to the cast does she. Britney yeah I tell this all yeah she's.

F no but I'm just like cuz I can't. imagine a worse weapon in a woman's. Arsenal than you know I'm not your. mother right yeah that would that. wouldn't work on me cuz dude I mean I. can spin that real hard M doesn't matter. damage is done dude you're doing it. you're doing it with like a seriously. like a Terminator hole in your head and. sparks flying out she's dinged you at. that point yeah true but I mean I could. I could just be I could easily just be. like Mom my mom rules love my mommy I. could I could I love my mommy so this. doesn't feel strong to.

me no yeah true I shouldn't give her any. ammunition but no it was nice dude we. actually like navigated a situation that. would have ended in like M just a. negative start to the day yeah and it's. so funny start like that you're adults. but you do have that part of yourself. that is like completely spun out of her. simple stuff she's like well I found the. spare backup key so it's not a problem. I'm like I'm glad you found that key I'm. going to continue on my day I'm totally. fine as well your text didn't spin me. out either. just both on edge dudee it's amazing how.

much of that stuff just like you don't. even realize it filters through I maybe. it's just me I don't know no no you're. right about that but and my girl yell. you know my my girlfriend likes to she. yells over minor things sometimes and if. I'm like talking loud in any in any. place anywhere anytime she shushes me. bro and I hate that [ __ ] bro she with. the why you so loud I'm like don't do. that [ __ ] bro don't shush me I hate that. [ __ ] why you got to talk so loud all the. time I do [ __ ] it oh dude I get the same. thing I hate that [ __ ] sh why you can't.

whisper like I should she L me like two. days ago you know you're not whispering. right I'm not trying to [ __ ] shut up. the [ __ ] I hate that [ __ ] dude getting. shushed I hate it bro getting shush. spins me yeah I can't stand you start. being really loud you're like I'll be F. I'm talking at a normal volume yeah it. feels like normal volume but I did. realize my family we all talk loud and I. what made me realize the one time I was. out with my sister anal thing is bro. that's ancestors bro aning in the Joker.

spere dud a cloud roll into the Joker. sorry man I just want really the kite in. real quick yeah bro super duper. loud but I only realize it when like I. hear my siblings talk and I'm like why. the [ __ ] are you yelling like that and. I'm like oh this is me that's the same. thing I do yeah that's another thing. women can do they'll get in and like do. the print out of your whole family and. be like you know what's [ __ ] up about. your family you're like what are you. talking about oh my God all of us. totally normal and. fine that can derail you for like five. years yeah when they tell you how your. family's [ __ ] up cuz then you're like.

wait maybe she's right you see what I'm. saying like maybe she is right and then. you start try to like recreate yourself. but you can't cuz you're like damn I. grew up around these people yeah but. then you can turn it around and be like. [ __ ] your family your family is [ __ ]. up too that's my that's my you want the. yeah you give the my family my brother. Tom was telling about this recently my I. have a huge family like especially on my. dad's side just like literally I think. it's like 70 people including all the. cousins and unles but everyone gets. along for the most part my brother. thinks it's actually his is a spin-off. if I have a cousin who was the first one.

to discover our whole family was. autistic we had one cousin moved away. and was like holy [ __ ] my whole family. extended family is like very very you. know it's popular to say now but I think. everyone's just touched a little bit my. brother was like the reason everyone. gets along so well is there's there's. not like a strong I mean there is an. emotional connection but it's not like. expressed whatsoever not really felt. either but it's just nothing but data. dumps it's just our family gatherings. are just dudes waiting to talk and then. you see someone you have you been to. Dorney Park.

yo I've actually been there before. everyone just data dumps on each other. like okay bye it's the sickest thing in. the world oh hell kind of rules and just. dropping random facts on each other I've. never heard one of my cousins say. anything like why are you doing this why. are you being weird it's just just data. dumps and being like yo you're kind of a. [ __ ] and everyone laughs and that's it. that should be every conversation it's. [ __ ] sick dud the best it's so tight. so blessed it has anything to do with. like the size of your family just. because there's so many of you guys true. you know that could be it too there's no. room for anything to be intimate there's. just so many people everyone's just.

trying to claim a cell in the. spreadsheet so they got Hur have some. information to it does become I meet up. with all like the people that are still. alive in my family and just like so what. else is going on with you guys you know. what I mean no one's really eager to. share any of our news you know you guys. meet up it's like things are going. pretty good I've got a lot to say and I. know that someone's about to start. talking over. me someone an inch and a half taller. than me with the same exact face is. about to completely. day y' all look just alike that [ __ ] is.

weird. bro I'm like what the [ __ ] is. this that is true it could be that it's. like the thing when you you're in a big. family you eat really fast cuz you want. to get like the last little thing but. yeah you can just be like I went to the. big bad wolf it was pretty cool cool. here's my top three roller coasters of. the summer this is my favorite beach. what beach do you like I got to. go [ __ ] so [ __ ] hot here where we at. time wiv college football fans are you.

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msod and use promo code drench during. checkout to save 10% that's mag. breakthrough.com. msod and use promo code drench to save. 10% done we're at 35 we're just getting. started what a dense [ __ ] 35 we're. just getting started dude good [ __ ]. God we are dude you can turn the AC back. on it doesn't matter yeah can we grank. thatu also we're up higher so the heat. upat way up there [ __ ] bourbon in. this cup I've been the eagle nest dude I.

just had to turn my son into the [ __ ]. police bro my [ __ ] lesbian daughter. just proposed to her girl she only 19. what oh no I'm all over the place today. BR daughter about to get married she. proposed oh I'm about to have another. it's about to be another lady out here. with my last name that's crazy bro. that's kind of tight though that is. tight I was hyped that's kind of tight I. was hyped I'm about to have a. daughter-in-law I was hyped about that. yeah it's kind of TI you think they're. moving too fast they are cuz they've. been they already Liv together. my daughter's still in college that's. that's the stereotype for lesbians is.

that they move in together really. quickly oh yeah that's true yeah I mean. there's no nobody stopping it's a. runaway train mhm I'm not going to stop. it I love you so much too imagine every. problem in life only having two girl. brains solving. it what a nightmare yo what oh. dude that's crazy stu stuff I ran into a. couple of those uh of their problems. where they're like mapping out their day. and she's telling me and I'm like your.

whole day is backwards really oh yeah. see so we're gonna go to pens land and. they go to King of Prussia then we go to. South Street oh my God then we then we. gonna go to [ __ ] Montgomeryville mall. then we go like wait wait oh so nobody's. like can we just please just [ __ ]. chill yeah just chill the [ __ ] out what. are y'all doing why you doing all these. different things and why you going there. then back down this way and then back up. that way dude they love navigation way. off yeah dudes are just like a [ __ ]. rock you have to bring places come on. man no efficiency whatsoever hell you.

know the compliment I get from a lot of. ladies bro like yo you always down just. to go anywhere a lot of guys don't want. to go everywhere and I'm like I'm just. gonna be on my phone the whole time you. there so it don't matter you see what. I'm saying I don't give a [ __ ] you can. avoid arguments I just say yeah oh you. want to go to the mall okay let's go to. the mall I'm on my phone don't matter. yeah but dude standing there while women. try on clothes oh it sucks that's the. worst sucks dude it's torture sucks. you're unic in that moment you're a unic. yes you're absolute [ __ ] unic cuz you. can try to cool dude it and just be like. oh yeah babe that looks great on you.

yeah uni no yeah your dick's gone bro it. sucks dude I hate it oh are you holding. her bag too you trans you go in the back. you transo it's over you got her purse. in your hand trans trans you're done. true it's a fair point damn bro and. that's the deepest level of lower back. pain standing in the corridor of a. dressing. room I look fat in this and you're just. like they come out if you're any if. you're 5T away they go where are you. where are.

you I'm over here contemplating running. out of the store as fast as I can and. they stand there. go but yeah again the flip side you're. looking pretty mean in that right. now that's the most annoying where are. you when they say you see me what do you. mean where am I Matt Mar Mary J is cool. she'll drop me off a GameStop and go. shopping by herself that's oh now that's. the [ __ ] yeah that's nice oh that's nice. yeah I do got to give it up to MJ she's. the best I do have I do have a dude so. let me go look at model.

robots while she's just tortures herself. trying to find anything she likes and I. go oh thanks babe that's really she goes. back I'm talking to a cashier at a store. where I'm not buying. anything I go hey babe how's it going I. have a decent eye for women's fashion. I've learned because I've been trying to. embrace it when I go there and it's. actually really easy to pick out clothes. for them just be like put that on and. this on oh my God I would never thought. of this I was like well ohly [ __ ] I. never thought of this either dude I'm. telling you it's actually pretty fun.

going and then you can access I've had. it just I just started embracing I'm. like I'm not going to be a kogin dude I. start accessorizing I'm going this is. great but like you need a little. necklace dude you need a little. something else so you full stylist yeah. I'm try that that might make it fun that. might make it a little CU otherwise I've. been trying to not not get into things. if I'm going to do a thing I'm going to. get into it rather than like when I was. a teenager at the mall with like a high. school girlfriend I would just be. sitting there like same or I would. complain like yo why does it take you so. long to just pick something when I go to.

the mall I know exactly what I'm getting. why does it take you so long to just get. what the [ __ ] you want what's happening. right now yeah I've been trying to get. into it yeah actually it's pretty funny. I was I was like had a good time the one. time last time we went I was just like. this is so fun damn that's I use that. time to go through all my group messages. that I never talked to anybody in and. respond to all this [ __ ] like that's. what I use the time at the mall for I go. through every comedian group message I'm. in every group message I got with my. homies and I'm just responding they like. yo we said this two weeks ago I know bro. I got free time now you know what I'm. saying let me answer these questions let.

me respond that's fair mhm dude what do. you uh what do you you know it's a black. comedian group message y'all ain't know. that really Lam I just gave up secret. look. Lam about to kill me look at him yo you. see how he's hot in his anger lir what. are you doing right now for the record I. did know about it yeah I'm sorry lamir I. shouldn't have said that it's okay dude. I went too far it's like an Open Secret. I guess yeah there's a Philadelphia. black comedians group message how many. people we talking what you think Lam mer.

maybe 20 20 because I know there's been. beef there been a little bit some beef. exactly yeah probably like 20 maybe 20. 30 T in this group chat [ __ ] no he don't. [ __ ] with us then it's not the black. it's not the official it's not official. you don't [ __ ] with us like that bro. it's not certified sorry true yeah you. do got to get two rated for it to be. official no that's pretty tight what do. you guys talk. about uh we B we [ __ ] on we basically. just [ __ ] on people nice for the most. part maybe lady coms get it the worst in.

the in this group message really yeah. lady coms get it pretty bad weird I feel. like we kind of took all the Flack for. that a while. ago you guys are still partying there. weird dude and then the black and then. whatever black uh Comics that weren't. invited to this group message get it. pretty bad too oh okay so to all y out. there if you see in this black Philly. ComEd you're not in it we talking [ __ ]. about you bro damn that sucks it's. [ __ ] up I start a group message with. you guys.

D yeah yo y'all should make a white. comedian uh group message that's a hate. crime 400. people that'll be a [ __ ] hate crime. yo they had that [ __ ] uh Philly. Comedy Network Facebook thing that was. just oh yeah Lam mer runs that [ __ ] now. you run that Lam mer yeah how' you how. grab control of that thing uh during the. pandemic uh I was bored so I was like I. want to run for admin like I tried to do. a prince edal campaign to be admin of. who was the admin of it it was uh Nicole.

Yates and Alissa truskowski they were. being lame so I was like vote for me as. admin of the Philadelphia Comedy Network. you [ __ ] were what were they doing. what were they doing that was uh bugging. you they just weren't posting anything. they're not City well was irresponsible. back then to go out and do comedy you. were killing people. yeah and they would delete they would. delete certain posts too like he put. like a podcast clip up they be like no. this group is just for shows you like I.

can't put a podcast clip in this [ __ ]. all right yeah good move Lam yeah no but. lamir took the [ __ ] over now it's. beautiful no I had to I had to create. another one cuz they're like they like. blocked me out the group and I was like. oh like if you want to do it so bad make. another one I was like all right I'll. make the exact same thing but wasn't it. founded on like a democratic kind of. vote for the admin or did you just go I. was just being you threw like a little. coup yeah I was trying to be funny I was. trying American stealing democracy and. he took everybody with him he took. literally everybody left that one and. went to his he took everybody with him. damn he [ __ ] them over that's pretty.

tight yeah I like it I like it I like to. go in there and troll I like to go in. there and be anonymous and be like I'm a. open micer why am I only getting five. minutes on stage how can I build an hour. for my HBO special if I'm only getting. five minutes on stage I said I like. maybe yall should put like the new. people ahead of like the old people that. been doing comedy like [ __ ] these old. guys and then people were so mad like. hey dude kill yourself who the [ __ ] are. they were going crazy in there bro that. [ __ ] was fun you have a fake name or you. went on on no you can put up messages. anonymously oh that's but L and them.

know who it is like because they run it. so they knew it was me but nobody else. knew it was me oh that was so much fun. that is pretty funny I like when people. get angry at me when it's not really me. when it's really me I get depressed have. you been have you been the subject of a. Facebook. beef um. kinda kind of but I'm if I'm beefing. with somebody I know I'm right cuz I'm. quick to apologize I'm quick to say when. I'm wrong so if I'm beefing with. somebody it's easy for me to be like you. a [ __ ] in a hoe and you dead wrong you. see what I'm saying I wouldn't beef with.

you under any other circumstance true so. yeah I've had some some Facebook beef I. stirred the pot a couple times I don't I. don't go on Facebook anymore but I. remember I uh I. somehow it was pretty nice I somehow got. the alt white [ __ ] vers the black. Comics oh [ __ ] I had a thing that had. like cu the alt white guys were being. [ __ ] about I think uh that warm. daddy show they had like some comedian. came by and they were like making fun of. it I forget who it was it was like some. black comedian who was on like a show it.

was like a funny it was just like a. funny name to see they started [ __ ]. on it I'm like man that's [ __ ] up all. the white nerds are attacking the black. Comics dude it was just like 500. comments were they moing a stage name. yes no it wasn't even that there was the. person they booked they were like that's. so stupid like who cares about this guy. cuz it was like the guy I genuinely. forget the name it was an actual like. name it was like a famous person right. right it would be like if you had like. URL come it was like something like that. like a famous dude would have per. he going come as ER or Stefan I go see.

St matter of fact I'll go see U what was. what was his name when he was Bruce Lee. I go see him on stage who what you see. where Ur turned to Bruce Lee no you. remember all the make sense if the black. guy made that type of machine and be. nerd cool guy Katey. Guy where else we going you see what I'm. saying where else nerd cool guy Katey. hero got Michael Jackson in there too. bro decadently Rich child molester yeah. with half a face true that's after you.

master karate yeah yo you know what I. didn't believe that he was a real. molester and then I saw this interview. the other day and the guy was bringing. up all his surgeries and he was like. they said you had a diple added to your. chin they said you got your lips wide. they said you had dipples added to your. cheeks you had your nose shaved down and. the whole time he was like no no they. don't give me credit for anything no I'm. like oh he's just a boldfaced liar yeah. bro you obviously got your nose shaved. down you obviously got a dimple attit. all these things the guys and he was. like no oh my God no your whole position.

is that if you lie about surgery you. [ __ ] kids bro true but you you thought. that the kids were lying and you were. Charmed by his response originally yes. true did he ever heever I don't think he. ever made did he make comment about the. allegations or I think that's why he. just started having that guy put him to. sleep he yeah he said it was like a. money grab oh that's what he saying and. some of them were money grabs which is. why I beli them because some of the kids. did just straight up lie coie cin used. to chill with him he he said Michael. Jackson never touched him true he what. the other crazy guy what's the other guy.

Cory Felman said Michael Jackson never. touched him true why didn't he [ __ ] them. bro true exactly you'd [ __ ] mcy cin F if. you [ __ ] kids Beyond say your kids. bro mcy cin that's the you stage him. home alone get past all his traps put. your dick in his mouth when he doing the. [ __ ] J bro that's all you want yo do. that face you did in the mirror when you. was in the bathroom and then you just. slide your dick in there that is the. ultimate though child not for guys like. us for us child molester hdden face.

[ __ ] the Home Alone. cover that's a fair point na I'm I'm. glad you brought that toast this the. child molester version of like uh Pua. guys who were just like girls you don't. have guy friends you just have guy. friends who haven't [ __ ] you yet it's. like kids child actors listen you don't. have child molester friends you just. have child blusters who haven't. [ __ ] there you go true damn booby trap. his roller coaster so you can escape the. theme.

Mark y yeah Cory Felman said no yeah. mccoi said no so why would he [ __ ] these. other kids come on yeah true May politic. though those are those are Heavy Hitters. to have on your side saying he didn't do. it you know yeah cor he he [ __ ] like. backup dancers for Shakira or something. like that that's sh who's who are you. going to. believe Home Alone. or you know this this guy with a dangly. earring in his right ear true who's more.

trustworthy but here's the thing he. [ __ ] that kid into being a backup. dancer for sh care he created a career. for this kid bro he this was a kid you. got think when he [ __ ] him he was a. kid you're saying that kid would have. been an accountant that K would yes if. he didn't he would have been an. accountant a cashier some stupid [ __ ]. then here go Michael Jackson gave you. the magic dick now you can dance you see. what I'm saying do you think I was going. to say do you think it was like a uh. Michel you can you can dance or do you. think in some of those sleepovers he was. kind of hitting him with some cool moves.

okay you're right it's that that is what. it is he gave him the shine that's all. he cared about was gave the the he gave. him the. rub do you guys remember a Manel Lewis. yeah yeah Michael Jackson used to hang. out with him he was like Webster or. something yeah yep he sat on his lap. yeah he was a he was a grown ass man at. that time Webster wait what he was like. Gary Coleman but but he's a permanent. child and he was hanging out with. Michael Jackson a lot and there's a. video there's a video of him sitting on. Michael basically.

yeah God damn dude there's a video him. sitting on Michael Jackson's LA and it. looks kind of like oh it's just a kid. sitt on his LA but then they're like yo. he was like 27 in this video totally. legal which is legal toally above board. don't want to hear about it well you. guys know in anime right you know how. it's like uh a [ __ ] L mer you're going. to have to help me out on this but you. know in in hentai it's illegal to. animate child pornography yeah so the. way that they get around it is they've.

created a ton of characters that are a. thousand years old but stuck in the body. of a child oh [ __ ] like [ __ ] Krillin. bro so he was just doing hentai with. Webster Dam yo that's. crazy so technically uh this character. is over a thousand years old and damn. bro I love a good loophole I tell you. that right now say exactly I do I love a. good lo you find a good loophole bro I'm. all down for I love that man yeah do. they say exactly what how old of a body. they're stuck in they just say child I.

mean I think you're just like scrolling. through thumbnails until you find what. you. like I see what you're saying you go. this is all perfectly it all depends on. the The Stroke of the artist yeah and. that might have gone by the wayside as. well that was that was a long thing Lam. mer are you did you follow any of that. stuff they broke kids from the curse I I. think Japanese high court was like the. curse the curse what's the what's the. legality on this why are you sweating so. much right now I'm hot. what what was the stuff the the the. anime thing where like the perverts had.

to stop animating like children in. sexual situation turn them into like. demons like succubuses yeah is that. still legal yeah I think so I still I. see new. succubuses suub just dropped is that. where the tentacle comes from they're. like this isn't a child they have a. octopus tentacle no that's something. different that's just from their heavy. Seafood diet eat a lot of seafood and. they eat a lot of octopus too exactly. that's they thing now in America we get.

[ __ ] by cattle to death and in Japan. octopi Slither into your uterus damn and. it's like you know that's not for me but. I know I yeah for sure you know octopus. can change their texture of their skin. yeah dude they can just turn into just a. little like they can be rib coral reef. they can get ribbed on you oh they can. just turn like almost a leopard that's. pretty tight yes like it's not like. chameleon piece of [ __ ] all you doing. changing colors bro octopus can actually. change the texture of their skin they.

can make their skin like the texture of. what they're looking like that's nuts. that's pretty wild damn alien [ __ ] bro I. got to show Maya lizard changing his. color oh yeah she was pretty pumped on. that I just told her about it it was a. green lizard then it went away and I was. like you know I thing turn it brown in. any second right she was just like. what so we can hide and she was just. like soon as she saw the first person we. saw a lizard turnning Brown she was so. exced oh yeah kids get learn some new. [ __ ] so [ __ ] pumped hell yeah so.

pumped yeah bro she was pumped to be. equi these new kids are smarter too they. way smarter than us that's cuz people. talk to them true yo you right yo nobody. ever us to talk to us when we was little. that's crazy I know we only would talk. to other kids that's all you talk to. damn that's crazy you're right dude my. parents were just like be quiet all the. time be nice be nice be quiet they were. never like yo you see this be right here. guess what this thing does right it's. just like dang are you right be quiet I.

actually had to train myself to answer. questions from the kids really because. Fritz is six and he's all questions and. yeah if I'm in the middle of doing. something and he's like asking how it. works first it's can I help and you go. you can hang out with me while I do it. yeah you're. useless and then he'll say why are you. doing that and then my instinct for my. upbringing is to be like cuz that's how. it works and instead I have to be like. well you know how we plug things into. the wall well there's actually electric. like dude it's you you got to explain.

the whole thing step by step which is. which is great and enjoyable I'm just no. it is though it's fun that's not what I. was wired to do I know it's so funny you. start turning like like you tune into. that just like that's just how it works. Dad how's that work go away yeah I want. to get this done so your mom doesn't. bother. me I want to get this done before the. [ __ ] game starts yeah what are you. writing a book get out of here. all right I only go there when they. repeat the question like if I answer you. once and I I got my my two-year-old does.

this a lot where she's like Dad what's. that and I'm like first of all who's. that that's Sean Gardini baby chill out. you see what I'm saying like don't say. what's that to a person and then she'll. say it again Dad what's that and I'm. like I just told you who that was and I. told you how to ask that question now. I'm not answering you because you said. it twice so that's but I explained to. her why I'm not going to answer her. again yeah mhm well apparently so I was. reading this thing and there saying that. kids have like genuinely no concept of.

like anyone else's reality until they're. seven seven years old I think like if. you show a kid there's a there's seven. six or seven they said there's a book so. if you give them a book The front's. Green the the back's orange you hold the. front you go what color is the front. they go green you go what color is this. and they go orange and you flip the book. back around what color am I looking at. they go green they. can't theying this in an hour and a half. really definitely going to test this cuz. they say they can't do perspective. taking until they're about six seven. years old that makes sense well I would. even think older cuz in all honesty bro.

I didn't't know that I thought like I. was the only person that was real I was. like 19 like I thought when I walked in. the rooms everybody just loaded up bro. you see what I'm saying I ain't know. nobody was real I'm like I'm the only. real. person so for the six or seven is kind. of early for that I think true honestly. bro I didn't think any of y. [ __ ] was real till I was like. 19 20 years old I what was the. realization like I had I had cheated on. some girl when I was in college and she. was so like [ __ ] up and distraught to.

the point where like her sister and her. mom called me like yo she's really. [ __ ] up like you really [ __ ] her up. and I was like she got like a whole like. family and story behind her like she's a. person like she like the same way I got. a story feel behind me she got this too. I was like wait everybody got this [ __ ]. you see so wild I had I had the complete. opposite experience where I was so aware. of other people that it was almost like. torture for me really really yeah oh. yeah I I had the exact thing Naim had I.

would just be like no thought whatsoever. I was I was stopped in my tracks. regularly like with worry for other. people and like yo I can tell cuz you. still kind of like that now bro you. still got some of that [ __ ] with you. what do you mean like you're very aware. of other people and like their feelings. yeah you're very aware of just trying to. be I always feel like a huge piece of. [ __ ] I'll be like yeah [ __ ] it he like. well yeah but it feel it's kind of. [ __ ] up I'm like yeah I guess it is he.

always gives you other perspective like. yeah that's kind of Fu intally sad for. that person don't I was ready to. completely brush that. off like you're good at presenting other. people's arguments like if I'm like yo I. got a problem with this guy because this. is an that you're you're very good at. being like I mean but not think about it. like from his point of view if he's like. and it's like all right you right I'm in. absolute agony over my the perspective. searching dude all the time dud when I. was like a pretty young kid I was. probably like 10 or 11 years old and uh.

I I had I had brothers from um different. moms or no these ones had different dads. so got the same none of match dude none. of us matched up okay yeah so I had I. had a brother I almost was like that's. impossible it's. not there's a part of my brain I was. like got him that's not imp. possible okay Paul is a different mom my. wigger Brothers have a different Dad. okay okay that's what it is yeah and so.

uh my brother my brother Paul was into. like hardcore and [ __ ] growing up and. like you know he would take me to shows. as a young kid and they were [ __ ]. pretty crazy but at there was a point. where my my two different wings of. Brothers tried to co-mingle for a little. bit and it was it was oil and water now. they get along of course I mean they. kind of tolerated each other as long as. they needed the same thing from my. parents like a ride somewhere something. like that but uh when they were. like almost adults they went to a show.

and one of my wigger Brothers it was a. it was a you know they going to see like. punk bands and [ __ ] and my wigger. brother uh tried to like grind on a. dude's girlfriend so tight dude hell. yeah Beast nice Beast he tried to get a. [ __ ] Wally bro that's nice yo I. that's so T how much of a wiger is he. like bro I the I the biggest the number. one phrase that I remember him from him. growing up is I remember him answering. an an early cell phone and being invited.

somewhere and he was like we'll see. we'll see they going to have honey dips. there oh honey dips he called them honey. dips yeah so he had a I'm not leaving. the house he had a honey dips policy. basically I'm not showing up I'm not. showing up unless there's honey dips. that's Ultra wigger bro like fully. scar-faced out as an adult obviously. dude so tight hell that's so tight the. honey dips I wish I had the conf to say. [ __ ] like that yeah he drove a big uh. Buick with like a red felt interior and.

just like smoked weed in the car on his. lunch breaks and stuff he had a Buick. yeah that's also what black people think. rier maybe Rivier that's a nice Buick. bro that pretty tough we talking about. a bro he [ __ ] on him he had a he had. a Rivier yeah and I think a Rivier came. with 19inch rims on it if I'm not. mistaken and he stayed on the uh sorry. he just reminded me dude every now and. again there's certain cars that white. people are like whatever about that. black people sweat so [ __ ] hard dude.

I used to have I couldn't remember the. car he's like that's the car I had dude. I had a. Mercury uh it was like a mer Mercury. Sable or one of those cars I'm not a. [ __ ] you didn't bro Hollywood top dude. had the rag top and I used to when I. when I was selling pills I'd always be. in West Philly and these I would come. out of this bar and these dudes would. har let me buy that off you bro let me. buy that off you you had the classy 4. tour bro mer mer let me buy off you bro. bro how much bro how much I like dude. I'm not selling you my car it's my only. car I can't sell this to you yeah that's.

your first car and then your next car is. an. Infinity yeah so they went to a show he. tried grinding he tried grinding on a. dude's girlfriend and he got rolled on. and they [ __ ] him up these were dudes. that were like already spin kicking each. other justand was playing and they beat. the [ __ ] out of him and he came home and. uh he had to be like wrestled down by. like my dad and like two dudes cuz he. tried to leave the house with like a. kitchen knife oh cuz he he was going to. go back go back he going go back to the. venue he was going to go back to the. venue with like a 8 in kitchen knife and.

he had to be like wrestled down and I. saw him dude he was [ __ ] up dude they. beat F beat his ass and I was so upset. for him I this D this dude hated my guts. every day of my life and we never got. along and I was just I remember as a kid. like losing sleep just like damn dude. that probably sucked all those guys beat. the [ __ ] out of you like. d yeah bro imagine if you got in there. with the butcher knife though oh my. like bro he'd have cut maybe one or two. of them then somebody would have they'.

have beat his ass again and took his. knife and stabbed they would done. wrestling they got him again he was. going back with the wrong type of weapon. put him on their shoulders and another. guy would have stage dived into him and. broke his neck on the concrete D what. about a heroic M Sher is like. no. no yeah yeah that's crazy yeah damn I. mased out once mhed out I mhed out one. time what style out L Mar's tell us to. get out of here do you want to tell us.

about your MH story now. what God damn that why was that 30. minutes so fast that 30 minutes was the. fastest 30 minutes first 30 minutes I. thought was like an hour and it was just. dense I was like that's got to be an. hour's worth of stuff yeah I think the. heat made made if the first 30 feel. longer and then the air made the second. 30 feel faster what type of M are we. talking about are we talking about. chubby guys just like kind of boun off. each other or dudes that practice. practice moves this was practice moves. at JJ M okay so this isn't even a circle.

pit this is just dudes bouncing off each. other yeah bab we just bouncing off each. other no dude you need to get in there. and you need to start throwing hands. behind you you need to get your [ __ ] do. that I'm scared of that you need to be. throwing head kicks maybe jump spinning. kicks you need to be like you have to be. practicing in your room at night yeah I. was just like bouncing off with people. and Sh until your mom comes up from the. kitchen and says what the [ __ ] are you. doing up here that's what mhing is. you're right you're right I should I. should have got more into it because uh.

somebody recorded me matter of fact Kell. recorded me and then I posted it in my. story and all my like friends from the. hood was. like the [ __ ] are you doing bro oh man. oh they turned you out you're tap. dancing for these HK like they turned. you out bro I'm like yo it's fun y don't. understand you ever you ever [ __ ] run. into somebody because a song is hot you. know what I'm saying doesn't Travis. Scott have a whole thing about M he does. I think it's trampling that's. also black people on M they trample dude.

I was in the trample pit dude my. girlfriend died it was sick what kind of. trampling were you talking about like. were you kind of dancing on him or were. you just kind of shoving Puerto Rican. girls I like that he kept the concert. going though that's [ __ ] hard bro if. you don't get keep going while people. dying and [ __ ] you want to get trampled. don't go in the pit true well I think it. was like Drake came out I think Drake. came out and people was like and they. just wanted to get physically closer to. Drake they wanted to stand like 75 ft.

away instead of 90 ft away and they just. just murdered stepped on people that's. [ __ ] crazy pretty terrible stuff I. mean you know what it's music though bro. sometime people got to dive to the song. Good the song good [ __ ] it yeah I mean. yeah pretty much it is containing that. same energy that we used to use to like. sacrifice virgins and. stuff y we we take death way too. seriously people die that's why drums. were invented drums were in to like. artificially Elevate the tribe's. heartbeat until you got them to do. something insane true yes you're right.

that's true it sucks that we now we use. it to kind of get your dick sucked it's. supposed to be putting it's it's for. inducing a tizzy yeah true you're right. dude speaking of tizzies Let's uh dude. plug the Philly Comedy Festival I mean. it's going to be tight dude live the the. what day where where do you get tickets. the the return of the live Stoner. dads Noble bomb I think I. think I have new stuff I want I have a. couple new things I want to try a new. comedy showcase two explain so explain. it you're doing a we're doing a a.

one-day Comedy Festival in Philadelphia. at a very cool venue called Gano it was. uh a converted old like small Eastern. European Church in a in a in in the. neighborhood in Philly uh it's it's it's. one day noon to midnight it's going to. be seriously the biggest [ __ ] pylon of. all time best [ __ ] ever [ __ ] we got. Suave we got all the panties in the. mouth Dagon deer tag live Stoner dads. some some very big time cool guests that.

we are kind of keeping under our hat. nice big time uh it's going to be F I. know who they I know who everybody is. and y'all want y'all should come I know. exactly who's gonna be there it's big. ass names so it's the Sunday before. Labor Day. it's it's the Sunday before Labor Day. September 3rd go to PHL comedy. festival.com and join us there it'll be. I mean it'll be tight the end of the. summer I'm excited nice dude also come. please come to Wise Guys Comedy Club in. Salt Lake City September 15th to the.

16th comedy at the Carlson and Rochester. New York no September 22nd to 23rd. Tacoma Comedy Club Spokane Comedy Zone. Charlotte Cap City Austin Texas and mcy. joke house all on Matt macusercom. dates there's a link in the thing below. mobies I'm on that one with you yeah. yeah yeah I'm on my goobies with uh Matt. Matt I got to give it up to you real. quick cuz you kind of like walk me. through the the whole process I got my. [ __ ] first weekend when it's in St. Louis October 20th and 21st yeah let's.

go that's tight yeah too and I and I. just want to publicly give it up to you. Matt because you kind of like uh took me. under your wing and like got me to this. point and you kind of showed me that you. can just kind of do it on your own and. uh dude it it's happening October Shane. did the same thing to me he like dude. don't be stupid just do stand up you've. already passed it on it's the greatest. gift I was like yeah you're right this. is the best idea ever thanks I can't. believe it anyway I'm very excited to go. to St Louis and smoke weed with the. tarded dudes out front you can go to. tim.com.

please join me L going to be in the same. place same September 15th this the week. month before and August 31th in. Providence Road Island the road door. please Red Door nice hell yeah oh two. off the top Helium Comedy Club August. 30th get your tickets now right now. Philadelphia helium Philly yeah helium. Philly everybody gonna be there come. through hell yeah all right Bros thank. you m.

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