Ep 452 - Heinie Burp Culture

w wow. West my gosh oh we're live yeah Gardini. hot miked us Gardini finally I was. taking my clothes off dude he hot miked. you and I had to put on the Versace dude. dude how could you how could you wear. anything else I'll be honest man I. bought this as a as a bit before before. the UFC fight yeah I felt like a [ __ ]. [ __ ] the whole time all night I thought. I saw the picture I said that looks so. good on you I felt I mean now you see it.

in person how's it look dude great I. think that shirt looks great on you I. think you should wear nothing but vers. how do you say how do you pronounce it. verace vers no I say give me I can't. even pronounce. nothing Versace no I think it's Versace. yeah but I felt like a real dumbass why. and then I was sitting cuz I was dressed. de would you buy in a casino or you out. at there's shops at Caesar's Palace. right isn't that what it's called it's. kind of cool though that's a a gold. brick you could literally trade that.

shirt and have sex with a lady a. prostitute but you could at any point. shed give her the shirt off your back. but now I'm shirtless and leave a nut on. her you can trade this for one. ejaculation yeah you that's not bad. though just walking around with a and. that's not just an ejaculation that. would be yeah that would be a thigh. squeez or. just what have I done uh you're going to. college with this right you sad to see. your beautiful away I'll tell you what I. felt felt like wearing this sitting.

there drinking a beer looking like a. [ __ ] idiot and people were cuz we. were sitting I was in Rogan gave me the. CT sit like so I'm right there on the. cage and people are sometimes against. where I'm sitting getting the ship beat. out of them at the beginning there was a. guy looking at me he was like a guy was. on his back and you know he wasn't he's. not thinking about me he's you know he's. think about what he's doing but his eyes. were just locked on me while he was. getting like strangled Against the Cage. I'm just sitting there like.

and I thought of you know that scene in. Apocalypto where the guy's about to get. his heart ripped out and he looks up and. just sees a fat kid dressed looks up and. sees that fat baby just. like I felt like the fat baby from. Apocalypto the entire time felt. terrible your last you should have been. [ __ ] mang yeah I should have started. screaming I should have started. screaming orders yeah like get get his. left leg extend your right.

like it's all it is it's twister the. whole time people just everybody in the. arena thinks they're a coach yeah and. they're like you've got it now move your. right arm above his shoulder SHP yeah oh. everyone's doing that the whole time. yeah there's guys just randomly like. stand go sprawl sprawl you think they. absorb there's people that absorb the. Tapout shirt and they're in there they. become it they become it and they're. behind like railings which is really. funny to be like 30 yards away behind a. railing screaming out orders to a guy. just getting CH who's getting choked to.

death well then if he gets out it's like. he heard me yeah he heard me I I told. him to do that yeah it's the dudes that. go to hockey games and yell shoot yeah. it's the exact same shoot it shut the. [ __ ] up. dude yeah holy shitty listen to exactly. what I said shot he scored I told you I. could be out there and Rebox with this. guy making hundreds of thousands ofs I. should get out there that is cool they. should have one guy who has nothing to. do with the fight who just comes up to. you and just [ __ ] squeezes you after. you win oh just let one guy into the.

ring yeah professional hugger yeah. nothing to do with the fight I know some. guys that are pretty good at that really. there's a whole community of them down. syndrome. guys get those boys hugging in the ring. after you get 10 of them in there it's. like baby we done it damn like balloons. at the end of a concert just release. them a thousand of. them I mean the place would go wild. Place go insane D place would go wild. all Mexican it would have been Lads and. the Bros dude going.

God and then you don't even know who's. who because then you go out in the midst. of your [ __ ] the acolytes the. acolytes come out all your Devil's. Devils come out and then you just. disappear and Ries is going where the. hell did he go back to the [ __ ]. Mountain dude he's back he's back to the. Misty Mountain back to Mount Olympus. we've all been duped. again there's just a Versace shirt on. the ground like where the hell did he go. he. vanished oh man that was uh that's. awesome I got to say that was was. probably the.

craziest coolest weekend I think I've. ever had how was the show Thursday. sucked yeah uh Friday was great you're. going right back to. [ __ ] back to the another paradise. Atlantic we're like this is like the. underworld of Las Vegas yeah this is. truly without the GL glamour this is. just the vi thank God it's just one day. one day in and out but uh yeah I. mean Donald Trump true I for that was. pretty sick what what was his what was.

his whole vibe his Vibe was just. complimenting every single person that. came up to him with no knowledge of who. they were he' just say you're doing. great you look great wow you look great. that was it that's all he said I didn't. have time I was also I got you I got. pushed by Secret Service I went like so. I was sitting with Jamie and Jamie was. like dude you got to get a picture you. got to get a picture I was like I can't. dude I can't walk over there and get. embarrassed like standing in line like. please yeah.

and of course that's exactly what. happened the first attempt what yeah I. got I had to sit back down and everyone. was. like nice shirt wait how' you how' you. try to how'd you try to uh cuz he was. sitting on he was like to the left of. the cage I was on this side and I was. trying to trying to weasel my way in. there but he's surrounded by Secret. Service damn how hard how hard was the. shove not hard but it was enough like. what are you doing yeah the guy came out. was like you can't you definitely can't. be service for Life yeah I think so what. yeah that's kind of cool but uh do like.

[ __ ] Bill Clinton still have secret. service everywhere all the time yeah. definitely damn uh right yeah I would. think so yeah what about like how far. can you go back who's like I gu yeah I. guess Jimmy Carter just. die I think so that guy's still going. yeah I think someone assassinated if he. died no he's dead I think he just died. JC is dead or he's dying no or he's. dying well he's probably dying because.

he's 98 years old yeah he is dying we're. going to lose dude. Madonna's he's still going he's still. going Jesus Christ dying years young. Madonna is dying dude did you see. Madonna's they had Madonna has like a. blood infection and the picture in the. news and they talked about her blood. infection they used that picture from. two years ago where everyone made fun of. her yeah for some reason all the. newspapers use that picture she looks. like a wet fish she's [ __ ] insane. dude her face is soaked dude.

she she's so wet looking I don't want to. make fun of a Dying woman no was just so. she's not I don't think she's dying but. I think she was like severely critical. like in a critical condition yeah and. every newspaper told the story and then. flashed that crazy [ __ ] I like Jesus. Christ yeah I think she is isn't she. yeah you can't get so if I was in a. shark cage and she swam by me. I say yanked it [ __ ] you be like Get. It Up.

get us out of here. [Laughter]. dude yeah she has yeah she's got enough. surgery she's she's a deep sea organism. at this point. she's they're going to see her with one. of those submarines I mean that that is. that's such a nice drag in a chase you. get that first surgery and you're like. oh my God it's all in my hand I can this. is I look great then you pig out you. look like a [ __ ] wombat you're like. what the [ __ ] dude people lose their the. plastic surgery is so [ __ ] funny cuz.

it's just like a tattoo cover up artist. the guy's like yeah I'll take $40,000. off you here's what we're going to do. and you're. like they're like [ __ ] off dude yeah I'm. sorry like the last guy [ __ ] us I I. didn't he did a he used a 3inch [ __ ]. stint on your nose yeah oh my God I know. yeah then you just got to be like no you. look good they're like true really like. yeah I did a good job everybody's lying. you look hot as. [ __ ] all right thanks you walk outside. you're like damn it yeah the picture.

he's lying to. me but yeah God the Donald dude so how. did you end up getting how' you strike. back on him the Secret Service started. to they're like all right dude we'll get. you that's we're going we're going to. get it done we'll find the exact perfect. time and finally they're like all right. go go now's your chance you got to go I. was like all right this is it I don't. want to do it I don't want to do it and. Jamie was like you got to go go and then. finally Rogan turned around was like. [ __ ] you got to go dude yeah yeah. that's awesome got a quick pick got the. [ __ ] out of there how and he just said.

he's complimenting you yeah he just said. you look great how's everybody that's. all my mom's doing good my mom and dad. are at home my. sister you should went on until he like. get out of here that was I didn't even. think about posting that picture why I. think some people were mad about it why. who I posted it and I think people were. like what the [ __ ] dud but you know. there no way dude it was a couple people. were like what the [ __ ] I was like I. thought it was clearly funny like people. Versace T-shirt with Donald Trump yeah.

seems like the funniest picture your. instincts are correct dude I knew it was. right I'm just saying I I like didn't. even consider it and then I got back and. somebody texted me it was like proud of. you dude [ __ ] all that post it who I was. like oh [ __ ] oh there was like people. being somebody was like privately. supporting me and I was like I didn't. even consider that it was a thing that. would matters dude it's not 2016 it's. 2023 yeah and like yeah it's crazy yeah. yeah bro that's [ __ ] [ __ ] that so.

this dude if someone's hating on you. with the 45th president in Versace shirt. it sounds like a them them problem bro. that's a big time them problem a them. problem crazy that's funny to see that. be like well here's where he went wrong. with this it's like I don't know with. the literally just the last president in. a Versace shirt ringside it's like I. don't know man yeah maybe maybe that. maybe he just turned the F might be to. something maybe flipped the eyeballs. back around. well here's what I would have done yeah.

I would have said [ __ ] you yeah no you. wouldn't yeah I would have been wearing. a potato sack and been like [ __ ] you. Donald I'm donating all my money to. charity yeah that shit's [ __ ] weird. yeah also that is a tortured existence. though to just be like to just check. something and be like he shouldn't have. done that yeah dude that's insane I know. I suffer from it yeah I had to pay the. piper too what. had to sit next to goggin the entire.

fight oh did you see him a week I sat. with him the whole time did you really. yeah he was cool he's probably the. [ __ ] man yeah he was we were Pro. goggin to be fair we recounted the thing. I did I have been critical of his Jing. like what boats yeah oh he's always like. I'm gonna carry the [ __ ] boats it's. like you're training you didn't read his. autobiography that's no I didn't read it. yeah he didn't he didn't let the boat. drop everyone was letting the boat drop. during hell week and he said he got up. in the guy's face and was like oh car. this I was wrong dude he is the man I.

dude I honestly I watched that and I was. like I was just I was going all right CR. shells got beef with goggin he's about. to expose goggin and I went not. convinced yeah cruncha got crenchaw kind. of got beat dude and goggin say on his. podcast he has a dude who has to respond. [ __ ] to. everything how many times like 22. [ __ ] times thank you yeah it's. so funny he is for real that intense I. went in there just completely like I. don't care who wins this battle and I.

went and the battle goes to goggin yeah. stuff kept coming. out the new weirdest weirdest Navy. SEAL [ __ ] the reigning. defending yeah I had no I had really. truly no dog in that fight and I just. want it is fun to see Navy Seals become. influencers oh it's dude it's so a funny. [ __ ]. trajectory that'd be that's a scary. enemy though.

I mean I mean they you could be sitting. there like God I'm so [ __ ] mad at. crenchaw and it's like I could shoot him. from 700 yards away yeah I could sneak. into his neighborhood on detected. there's no one would had any idea like. where were you like I was a mile away I. ran 40 miles you're never going to find. my car and it's [ __ ] then you have. like you explode a rifle in the woods. and like I know yeah that was uh that. was scary enemies have how was he was he. chilling yeah I mean he was an in man.

yeah you could see it yeah I bet adna. came by us and started they just. immediately started doing push-ups what. directly in front of me I was just. standing again fat Aztec baby you you. should have [ __ ] full fat Aztec baby. they were doing push-ups and I was. like that's pretty cool those guys are. doing you should have gave resistance to. both of them said all right yeah that's. F you guys think you're tough you guys. are skinny little guys let's see let me. see some weight on you guys toss those. guys around dude you g to [ __ ] beat. is Izzy's ass you flipped them like a. spatula bro.

I would get think of that agular boy me. vers that agular boy he's 126. 54 that [ __ ] overhead would have laid. it on my belly dude I. like Mr President no not in front of. [Laughter]. 45 Mr President help one got me yeah. then all get him get him d. one of them got through one of the.

rapists got. [Laughter]. through damn that'd be so funny to be. chasing someone over the border and you. get them and they rat tail just. EV they the rat tails they're like. lizards and grows back grows back quick. dude if you're border patrol you grab a. rat tail that thing grows back though. it's a defense that's a defense. mechanism that's why Mexican ever rat. tails.

oh that's [ __ ]. funny the last thing you see go God damn. it damn it he got. away was another false rat. tail yeah getting strangled in front of. Donald Trump has to blow dude in the. ring someone's got you by the neck and. you're just looking around and you see. him just. [Laughter]. like seen him smiling like like. condescendingly at you as you lose.

Consciousness would [ __ ] blow that. would kill. me [ __ ] oh this was funny at one point. Jamie noted it we saw him he was. standing talking to Dana and then Dana. sat down they're both standing next to. each other and he was talking but not. looking at him so then when Dana sat. down he was still talking and he caught. himself mids sentence talking to no one. it was very funny to see Donald Trump. like wow look. at he realized no one was listening.

yeah he was like it was like he's on the. phone yeah you had to see him. uncomfortably be. like oh yeah probably never forget it. either no he'll be like in his head he's. like Dana's dead I'm gonna try to ruin. him now I pull my support for the UFC. yeah UFC is illegal in New. York overall is great Mel Gibson was. right there I didn't get to talk to the. fury I didn't get to talk to him dude. it's all the rightwing beasts all the.

rightwing beasts in one spot dude W WG. was right there I'm sure Gladwell was. somewhere you think Gladwell. no a box D you think so probably it's a. rightwing beast Festival yeah I'm saying. Malcolm Gladwell yeah he's not a. rightwing beast I oh oh all right that's. the blink guy was Guy uh [ __ ] Bri oh. you're talking about Douglas Murray oh. okay that's he was definitely licking. his lips dude he was like wow this is. what a beautiful [ __ ] I thought.

Malcolm Gladwell was a guy who argued. yeah that uh he looks kind of curly hair. yeah I saw a kid I saw a beach tag kid. reading gladwell's book blink and I. almost stopped and was like throw that. [ __ ] out on the beach now he were. sitting in like one of them one of them. has usually sit in little chairs but. there's this one one beach like they let. a kid sit in a hut which is I was like. it's kind of unfair to all the other. kids but they were just there was a girl. just reading blink and I almost like. went up to her like yo she kick sand in. her face TOS that dude that guy Guy. totally lost a debate I don't know if.

you saw the monk debates with mat the BB. and. [ __ ] it thought was M he [ __ ] lost. he looked like an [ __ ] throw that. book in the. trash you should have showed her I. didn't she sat down at the beach with a. YouTube video it's too bright no one can. see it you should have just held it up. to her face you can hear it you can hear. it I'm I'm gr scale. bro oh I've never even heard of that Ray. scale baby is that an option on the. phone yeah you look at your phone you. just you just get instantly like the. part of your brain that gets excited for.

your cell phone gets like deflated and. you. go it's a pure tool we'll see I if I. have to do a screen recording I'll. switch it and I'll forget for another. two years but yeah grayscale is a move. right now you get zero excitement dude. you open your phone and go Jesus [ __ ]. Christ like it disappoints you every. time you open it I was I literally. watched eight hours of DJ khed videos on. my phone for I mean I've been flying the. last couple days just nothing but DJ. khed and then I can't stop doing it I. can't stop doing it tell him to bring.

out the whole ocean can't stop I scream. what video is this it's he just keeps. making videos where like it's impossible. to explain why it's funny it's funny. yeah he just says something dumb he's. got this dumb voice that he keeps doing. is a joke that everyone gets annoyed by. that's around him but it is funny funny. he's wearing like a green jumpsuit he. walks in front of the camera and just. goes call me. asparagus call me asparagus. that's it that's the joke oh it's nice.

it's so good I've seen him be funny and. stuff too he can do it no he's hilarious. he is these videos are unbelievable yeah. he started haming it up in the videos. going for the comic relief and he' never. stopped well he also he I I I don't know. he kind of embraced he became like he. did the we the best I think that was. serious he was we the best seriously and. then he was just like I'm just [ __ ]. around I know I was just joking dude I. know that sounds crazy to say we the. best yeah we the best music. I mean that kind of rules but it works.

now he's extremely funny yeah he did the. damn thing so I was on that I was also. forcing people to watch the there's a. new Napoleon trailer there a new. Napoleon is Yeshua King in the movie no. it's walking Phoenix dude oh I I think. you directed by Ridley Scott dude I I've. never been hornier for a movie this is. [ __ ] crazy I've watched the trailer. like seven times what would you do to an. ear get an early release I I would do. anything I can't wait wait for. Thanksgiving I would not trade the shirt.

pop it off can't get rid of the shirt. you got to wear it every day uh yeah I. was it's it's coming out Thanksgiving. dude don't to bring out. [Laughter]. Thanksgiving you got dude that's a great. leave Thanksgiving early with the family. and go watch a movie that's always a. nice one and it's Napoleon oh my God yes. yeah it'll be anyway do yourself a favor. go check out DJ cow and Napoleon trailer. true this Thanksgiving this. remember this for months forget the.

summer dude get out of the Sun and just. hold this in your head this Thanksgiving. the p and. bonart dude I'm I'm excited so enough. about my [ __ ] how how's the beach D epic. weekend you've been pure Salt Life dude. I've been so I I'm a big I love salt. life but dude I will I will tell you man. having two little kids it's not so much. like diminishes salt life it's not. Margaritaville as much it's purely just. like Conan the Barbarian on the wheel oh. just which do I can fully get into too.

of just like walking in front of 200. people it might as well be a collar. around my neck dude I just. [ __ ] just [ __ ] yoke my kids. through the hot sand my wife's like you. need your flipflops I'm like nah it's. not even that hot I'm like it hurts so. bad dig underneath to get the cooler. sand as I walk yeah it's a little Beach. trick it's funny he say this I was just. watching uh I was on the plane and I saw. somebody watching Fox News and there was. just Fox was just run a thing of Joe. Biden at the beach he couldn't him.

trying to carry a chair it was like. Biden can't carry a chair that him. pulling it then he's sitting down. they're like Biden couldn't even take. his shirt off and he's like sitting down. struggling with it and then it was him. sunbathing it was like Biden gets. blasted by the sun was the ticker and he. was. like it's really [ __ ]. funny but it was everybody fun to fult. him for gety old man getting blasted by. the sun this guy's skin cells are. dissolving from the radiation from the. Sun what a [ __ ] loser yeah I've been.

I mean I was hoping one of you guys. would notice how tan I was you are tan. as hell yeah dude I'm [ __ ] my. family's. black I'm a black family bro I told my. mom that my mom was like giving me [ __ ]. I was with May and Chloe she's like did. you put sunscreen on them I'm like Mom. we're black we are all black now buzz. off we're black you're. dricus Matt's dricus I am the true. African yeah my tan dude has been I've. been trying to get pumped on it you look. good you look very thank you i' been.

I've been trying to get as tan as hell. dude my one kid went from like vaguely. tan my one kid's black now yeah totally. black black ass kids my black my my. [ __ ] black ass daughter my one kid. totally. black I'm just trying to stay in the. family dude stay in the family drif all. light skinn on I get all light skinn on. they're get you got to get you got to. get tan bro I know cuz you're going to. look it's going to look like a I know. dude Al. I mean how cool is that though instant.

celebrity power status dude I have a. black kid I have like a full-on black. kid you're Angelina Jolie that's what. I'm saying I was telling Britney that I. was like dude total Celebrity Status who. would have thought yeah he's guy saw it. far and. wide but yeah Britney's been teasing me. that whole time was be walk I'll be like. slugging like a wagon of two kids and. Britney's like look at you're a black. baby and just you people like oh my God.

look at your black baby you can get that. test it now I wouldn't hold it against. I'm like dude shut the [ __ ] up that's. really funny it's very funny good for. her she does it all the time and she. goes she goes the other one looks like a. Puerto Rican boy and everyone's. like you see white mom uncomfortable he. looking like a Puerto Rican boy over. here tell him to bring out the black. babies it is my favorite thing to see. her talking to like a white lady in her. neighborhood and Brit's like yeah my. kids over here looking like a Puerto. Rican boy and the mom.

goes yeah I could see that yeah but yeah. so yeah dude I've been just like. carrying kids into the sun getting. [ __ ] I'm basically Biden dude just. slugging things like a camel across the. [ __ ] Dunes yeah we were talking about. that the only way the pack the pack. there obviously sucks yeah but you're. like all right I'm here for hours at. least this is going to be nice at the. beach y packing up to go back from the. beach sucks the thing is you're there. like there's no I have not dude I.

haven't sat in a beach chair the whole. time you can't cuz one will eat sand. immediately we'll just [ __ ] shovel. sand in their mouth and then they both. [ __ ] run to the ocean they go right. to Sea like [ __ ] sea turtles dude. dunk straight to [ __ ] sea walk out to. the Sea and I'll be honest let the sea I. I've seen Moana too many times like. maybe it'll choose choose one of them. they both just got leveled by waves as. soon as they walk out. F yeah dude it's been fun though I've. been taking ey out to swim in the ocean. that's like the funniest [ __ ] in the.

world it's got to be awesome dude just. watching them B I like showed her how to. like kind of Bob over waves I wrode a. wave in I thought she'd be pumped she. could give a [ __ ] dude yeah I rode a. wave in head above water [ __ ] eye. contact and she was just like okay can I. go back out now and I was like yeah all. right come on let's go oh she sat your. young your daughter down and said I I. had her go with her. mom go go Surfer go sit with your mom. posidon dude. you he rode in with the. [Laughter].

na navigated through an Indian family. deathly dude she just was like yeah cool. can I go back in now I was like yeah. want get back in but yeah it's fun dude. there's like dude the beach now is. international Jersey beach was like it. was white there was no yeah just this is. what it was like and dude it is I. haven't been there in years my glorious. return dude it's [ __ ] sick now dude. engines full [ __ ] full garments. swimming there's ladies and like Dude.

full [ __ ] head wraps and. songs just like they lay they but dude. now it's like I saw the Muslim babes now. and they do it even better the Indians. are a little more like modernized. they'll have like jeans and [ __ ] on dude. the Muslim babes have this flowy Garb. and they lay in the tide with their. [ __ ] cell phones and just and their. husbands becking them they go come on. come on come in dude every time their. husbands jump a wave they go they jump a.

wave and they look back at their wives. and go and their wives are just like. laying there just like it's the funniest. thing in the world oh he jumps over. looks looks back at his wife and goes. come on out they just go they just lay. there like S no they W they they like. walked in way Steep and they ran they're. terrified of the Waves they ran away. makes sense yeah dude the husband this. it was yeah I saw him out of sea saw me. with my daughter out like we go out. pretty far and he was like she's very. brick. he got like real he started close.

talking her the ocean sing a Muslim dude. in the gunit wife feeder this was a. musle d it was like a weird cut wife Fe. dude it was crazy he swam he was being. really friendly but he had the most. intense gaze he's like she's very brave. and I'm like you're all right dude. [ __ ] she's not passionate about any. of those causes get out of here I. thought he sized her up she was wearing. a float vest oh nice might have been. like fits well. no he's very friendly man close talking.

at se is [ __ ] dude he came he came. like inches from us scary I was like. what the [ __ ] what does this guy they. [ __ ] scared sh Touch Feet cuz you're. both it was dude it was that I kept like. it still be it's scary it' scary. touching anything on dud this guy had. the most intense gaze and it was him and. it was. like it was him and two Somalian dudes. oh I they were taking they I called him. bah Haram bam [ __ ] B.

she's very brave I was like yeah man. very brave very brave the gar just. rocking jeans at the beach is oh dude. the jeans are too funny that's that's. like Indians these are these are the. muses I was I was praying to God they. didn't Clash they could have clashed the. Hindus and Muslims could have clashed. and I was said they got their hands on. some. sticks if there was any sticks down. there they' start running yeah the slap. Run The Slap.

I was nervous all weekend I said I hope. the Hindus and Muslims don't Clash on. the beach dude they could dude n it was. just peace everyone it was not it was. just peace dude there was the The Lads. were there and they were they blasting. the lad music dude and the youngest was. dancing in the lad music dude they were. Tickle Pink yeah I was even I finally. felt the [ __ ] lad music it never. penetrated music at the beach is. probably pretty sick it never penetrated. my soul that's when you Chuck your. [ __ ] P throw your pagri straight out. to see it's Corona time dude I'm sing. they might be the most saltlife yeah I. would listen to that [ __ ] on. construction sites and be like this is.

[ __ ] circus music yeah makes it it. didn't move a single cell in my body. dude you called it circus it was a Tom. and Jerry soundtrack [ __ ] put it on. and be like what is this you get out of. Beach and you're like I started feeling. it dude my hips started to [ __ ] just. a little bit I was in the sand I was. going it's [ __ ] tight I think that's. that's also UFC is a great when you hear. somebody come out to Mexican music. you're like oo yeah true somebody comes. out to something cool. for him somebody comes out to like many.

men by 50 Cent you're like damn that's. awesome and then you hear the [ __ ]. circus music and you're like holy [ __ ]. who's this guy he's getting pumped to. this. just. ESP like yelling it's like what the. [ __ ] going on here yeah yeah dude I. flew when's the last time you flew a. kite dude exhilarating yeah when you get. that thing up there it's tough to get up. me I brought my whole family down you. got to run dude I ran it we first we. tried on a crowded beach in the hot like.

the hottest of the suns in the hottest. sand and I failed to get a kite in the. air Oh I thought of it the Indians. probably walk straight over that dude. nothing like hot coals nothing dude it's. nothing to them they move over like you. Indians walk on hot coals yeah dude all. right they they they just skitter across. it like scorpions. dude no they yeah they're totally. unfaced dude I was I was burning my feet. in the hot sand trying to get a kite up. in the air running around like sitting. no I I stayed I kept this at the back.

almost near the dunes but still I was. just like the entrance of the beach. running this thing and it's being like. dude just fighting with Brit you don't. know everything about just cuz you flew. a [ __ ] kite just let me try it my way. failed to get it up in the we had to go. back I was like there's too crowded we. got to go. back we came back later dude I got this. I didn't know you're not supposed to let. a kite like I let all the string out. yeah I thought you're supposed to she's. like no you're not supposed to do that. dude this thing was high as [ __ ] I sent. a kite so [ __ ] high. was like nerv was the that I was.

attached to something that in the I was. just like I was so scared I was so. scared dude I could see how that'd be. scared dude they can [ __ ] take off. when when you were like on the crowded. Beach it would like crash near people. I'm so sorry because the kite crashes. [ __ ] hard probably startled some of. those Muslims. true what is that. dude I wonder if they you know how they. always have fly fly overs at the.

beach if they do that in Jersey people. are going to be. like constantly oh that's so funny yeah. dude we uh dude I so badly wanted to cut. the string and just let that guy go free. it was so [ __ ] high in the air you. should and I just sit there and I have. re actually Britney wound it back. brought it back to Earth I was like I. can't I can't bring this thing back down. you ever see that parasor get they. released the parasor really yeah there's. a guy he's up too high in a storm coming. and they're just like somehow the rope.

breaks and he just he floats into the. land he floats he's gone he's dead he's. too high I mean I don't know if he died. but that he was on a parachute in a. storm in Florida. oh Jesus Christ damn what did they show. him land or crash or no it's somebody. from a hotel balcony filming he's out at. sea oh he just goes out he's out sea and. there's like jet skis chasing him like. trying to figure out how to get him down. and then the Rope snaps he just floats. over the hotel yeah dude that's Power.

Line Station dude yeah it's going right. there a [ __ ] way to [ __ ] go it's a. very scary way to go anyway just being. flying cuz there's a huge part of you in. the I got this I'm going to survive this. I just got to float right back down the. ground it's like highways power lines. straight to a [ __ ] truck. dude I land right on top of that thing. though did he live yeah he survived what. yeah he was in a hospital I found a. video was named Sydney good sh all right.

name the man Sydney good Sydney good. shout out Sydney you did it baby say his. [ __ ] name good job Sydney did he go. back and do it again uh Rec SP say yeah. five years later he went back and did it. again yeah good call that that would be. included in the article Matt that was. just natural great intuition you do have. a journalist mind not in an insult way. no no no I he I'm like more of Matt the. BB's you're more you're more of a Matt. the BB type. yeah I'm more of like Twitter files uh.

substack kind of guy oh. yeah you how many substacks I've tried. to read and just been like I can't. possibly keep doing I can't read I I. turn on sub I do it all the time like. I'm getting this substack and I'm like. 47 [ __ ] I'm done I can't I'm I I'm. done dude itile I'm out yeah that's I'm. right all right let me just scan I'm. right about everything I thought dude. were you listening to Alexander Hamilton. on the way here yeah the book I got a. little more glimpse into his like his. early.

childhood I dude I think I saved it I. laughed so [ __ ] hard on the way I. mean it's the worst thing in the world. dude just listen to this is the Bahamas. or whatever dude this is his so him and. his mom both got sick so they brought in. like the best doctors they could. find which expelled gas from the. elementary Canal so they gave his. mother sorry they gave his mother. Valyrian route which makes you just fart. constantly. that's what talks about like the.

elementary toxins out with farts they. gave his mom valan route and they. [ __ ] gave blood let him D just It's. the funniest thing in the world which. expelled gas from the elementary Canal. Alexander submitted to blooding and an. enema mother and son must have been. joined in a horrid scene of vomiting. flatulence and defecation as they lay. side by side in a feverous state in the. single upstairs bed the Delirious. Alexander was probably ring inches from. his mother when she expired at 9:00.

oning the. late his mom's faring his mom farted to. death he was shitty wait why didn't give. him an animal what was this what would. they say they had fevers. dude they had bad yeah we're going to. shove [ __ ] up your ass and cut you he. was [ __ ] and bleeding and his mom. was just farting nonstop. holy [ __ ] how old was he I think like 14.

or 15 old enough that that sucks oh was. terrible dude and his mom was kind of a. [ __ ] you told me that last time yeah and. like we confirmed it too they dude so he. shits himself and his mom just slowly. slowly he he just. like it's quiet he's like Mom Mom are. you doing no maybe the one death rattle. yeah he's rising in diarrhea like oh. just bleeding all over the place and.

they're like dude your mom's dead and. the people came from the town and. quarantined like you guys can't leave. this room quarantined him into the house. and then his her ex-husband came by. right after was like this house is mine. now cuz you guys are bastards and your. mom's a [ __ ] [ __ ] you guys [ __ ] that. one whole room up though dude he gave. [ __ ] that's guest room so he he shits. himself next to his dead mother yeah and. then the is this guy who like you know. the mom well it's funny because down the. line he gets adopted after his mom dies. and like some other guy dies he gets.

adopted mysteriously by this dude and. it's like like the the kid like roughly. his age is like you look just like me. and everyone in Town's like these guys. are brothers so they they historians. think that like the guy had plugged his. mom yeah and as soon as she died he was. like [ __ ] it cuz he didn't take his. other brother he just took I'll take the. little I'll take the little [ __ ] box and. dude and they [ __ ] they look like. twins they don't include that in the. [ __ ] Broadway play do they that's. what I'm saying they my mom was [ __ ] and. I was. nervous I was bleeding all over the.

place me and my mom were farting. [Laughter]. y'all so the lady is so the he's a. bastard because his mom bastard in a. basket just left and married this other. guy that Hamilton who just his father. left him but I don't think he was I. think he got abandoned by his fake. father his father allegedly got cockled. nobody wanted this kid no well except. for his real dad was finally just kind. of like oh come on babe this poor kid we. got to help him was like oh my [ __ ].

God I can't believe I'm getting away. with this my bastard son got to get his. boy but um yeah dude and then like he so. he his mom died [ __ ] himself you know. his mom farted to death he [ __ ] all over. the place it's a good thing you can't. die from that now cuz my mom would be. dead mom no I'm kid I'm worried about. you Mom yours are. worse I booper. did you. booper something I swear to God my mom.

called him booper so we were young. that's so [ __ ] funny booper is funny. brinnie doesn't like fart I I I've I. have won that was a battle fart was a. bad word When We Were Young dude fart. wasn't it I was say I think when I said. fart it was a problem if I was like I. farted it like stop you're being fresh. but britty tried to establish poot as. like the fart word in our house that's. weird dude and I said look man we're not. going to be weird we're not a weird. family yeah we're not do exactly we're. on the cusp already. he said look we're right on the board be.

the weirdest Family anybody's ever. seen we can't say poot we cannot say. poot that was a battle dude there was. like lexicon battles where I was like. these kids are saying fart the first. couple times M was like I farted and I. see fart family see Bry going under this. roof we're a fart. family it's my mother-in-law was going. all pissed off like we're not saying. [ __ ] poot you weirdos [ __ ] that it. fart my friend was a heiny BB family. dude hiny burp say hiny burp they us.

just say hiny burp dude Tommy says Titi. for taking a piss and it makes me want. to kill him yeah I get in trouble for. saying piss too I'm G take a TT like. jeez say piss I get in I hate that word. it's like what piss G to say I'm going. to urinate saying crap to people bothers. them I really like say I got stand up. from a table and go I'm about to take a. crap oh pardon me I have to crap I guess. I guess what do you do in PL Society you. have to euphemize it like I'm going to. go releas need to I make room need to. release my.

bladder there is a polite way to be like. excuse me ladies and gentlem me I have. to visit The Powder Room yeah true I. have to release I have to powder my nose. that's a euphemism for I'm going to go. crap out drop a mud pile back there dude. so Hamilton mom dies I'm going take my. shirt off and drive a horse. pile or you can politely ask be like uh. where's your bathroom they go it's over. there and be like I was thinking more of. an upstairs I was thinking more of a. taking a [ __ ] type place I was thinking.

maybe seclusion maybe I need to get. higher ground on this going be loud crap. so I'm going to drop a large a gigantic. gigantic [ __ ] dump and it's going to. need to travel downwards not straight. across we're going need gravity behind. this log this is a log plume I'm going. to need to get up to the top me like did. you ever clog your toilet how big was. the turd cuz mine's about to be probably. record size right now what's the biggest. what's the biggest tur your toilet's. ever choked down cuz I'm about to choke. your tur. [Laughter].

how how big is the hole in your turlet. cuz yeah you'll never guess who clogs. the turlet between people women can clog. the turlet dude yeah dude I mean I don't. think it's a pile though I think they. over wipe you think they over wipe I. don't think women drop piles like that. dude I'm telling you I've never stop. talking about my ant's turd my cousin my. cousin brought me up witnessed it it was. just a like a regular you know like when. you're were a kid you had no agenda on. the day at all I just walk in my. cousin's house I'm like yeah maybe there. you have like good cereal open up the. thing my cousin's like dude come here.

you got to see my mom's [ __ ] come here. dude and just brought me upstairs so. like it was a pale Brown that was the. first. pale the color of his couch it was white. whale you've been looking for it ever. since you're Captain. a you got to find another. one it's the color of this very couch. dude this might be it might have. upholstered it. it was like a red clay it was split in. half like the Titanic I think broken I.

think it was Shipwrecked yeah but dude. it was like kernel nicely it had a nice. like pine cone cluster to it nothing. nothing crazy not like a corn cob but. like but it was ribbed on the way out. she felt it she [ __ ] she felt that. thing it was rung like a tree it was. like tree rings dude it was see how old. it was an old growth dude this just 3. hours old it's. been I told my cousin to cut it in half. so get the age on it like right here was.

World War II oh [ __ ] dude stop showing. somebody your mom's dird it's so [ __ ]. funny like dude you got to see my mom's. [ __ ] the fact that he had eyes on it he. had put eyes on it saved it was did he. know you were coming or was he just like. I I got wait till someone comes over. coming he put eyes on it and he. preserved it dude he was like a. historical. committee you cannot flush his turn he.

was in. [Laughter]. there t my mother had oatmeal for. breakfast holy [ __ ]. dude oh my yeah it's the same cousin. that you used to play sniff the John. where it was. like he would take a dump and make me. and my younger cousin he's like I want. to see how close you can get to that and. sniff it we'd have to get like inches. from a turd and. go just go outside and kill be. [Laughter].

dude I used to kill as many bees as I. could every day I didn't know they were. endanger I feel bad dude I'm telling you. I killed one summer I would I think I. caused like a little bit of the bee. shortage a dip in the area I didn't stop. dude I killed him it was weeks I just. sat there and every bee I saw captured. killed I would shake them in containers. make them fight each. other pretty sick they ever fight yeah. they like crawl across each other like. they're fighting they're fighting I. always had a poor record with making. animals fight in spider vers B spider I. would try to get spiders to fight they.

didn't fight that much yeah I don't. think I ever successfully got a spider. fight I think I came back and one was. dead and I was like that's the champion. dude when you asked me to the bees fight. him I was like yeah but I was like no. they're probably just crawling I think. they crawling yeah they're they were. probably in there like dude what are we. where are we they were getting shaky be. like hey get the [ __ ] out of my way dude. we're clearly in a cage match these. intelligent species put us in a cage. match we just fight for our freedom I. buried a grasshopper in a sand box for 4. days in a Chinese food container and it.

lived 4 days later popped it out and it. was just hopped away yeah had no. recollection of fully Ultimate Warrior. Ultimate Warrior to [ __ ] grass yeah. grasshopper just sat in the darkness for. four days and they got released they got. released and was like what the hell was. that yeah bug matches were sick bug. matches were so [ __ ] cool yeah like a. [ __ ] thousand leer B grasshopper and. shake it as hard as you could like I. think they're [ __ ] punching each. other right now potions on an Hills you. ever concoct things and just dump it on.

an my cousin made potions and would try. to feed it to potions on animals was. great the potion on an anill was nice. anill not I wouldn't I was more of a. magnifying glass guy oh really I never. got the magnifying glass I never made it. work it was pretty nice I didn't have. the patience for it I think I just I. think I just like I don't think I. actually burnt them I think I just. [ __ ] was like yeah they're [ __ ]. cooking under this yeah this is hurting. those animals I I was a big roly poly. Guy rock love those guys yeah those guys. were safe in my book they were they were. safe I don't know why every other every.

other insect I would destroy Roy poy I. hang out with lightning bugs I was a. preserver of lightning bugs Roy poy. ladybugs ladybugs still to this day to. this day still to this day d i I'm the. guardian of those guys dud my aunt's. house got [ __ ] infected with them. ladybugs not infected infested infested. yeah just a whole corner of the house. bro I let them ride yeah I see them. they're great they're great pest defense. not when it's thousands no that's a lot.

dude in the corner of a room like this. just the whole Corner was ladybug. covered with ladybugs that wouldn't. bother me dude I'll be. honest they're good for gardening too I. mean TR to be fair yeah obviously I see. the problem I see the. problem but dude you have to break out. the magnifying glass left I'm saying. indoors. just that's all I can do yeah if they. only get like a southern light exposure. for three hours like look I don't I. can't do anything else get a shitty. house you should get more natural light. what are you guys sharing and shaking. your head. about nothing I I'll tell you after.

personal business it's just not. entertaining is it something highly. personal and classified no no I'm sorry. I'm sorry you noticed that no no it's. okay that's fine it's s interesting you. guys saying something like mean about. another comedian or something together. and laughing yep yep ding got. it sorry I spit that spit that smoothie. on the back of your shirt dude I Almost. got away with it it's okay dude I I felt.

it I wasn't sure cuz you you started. walk I just wasn't sure I was like wait. what I had I had about 10 seconds to be. like I could just let this ride yeah. he'll never know I just spit a bunch of. smoothie onto his back. oh and then I I was I I got to do it cuz. later he was going to find. out he was going to go who the [ __ ] put. oh yeah like yeah you didn't know he'd. been eating smoothies he would have. blamed it on himself he would have been. like the blender probably went rogue on.

me when I turned my back turned my back. and spit on me like an. octopus oh my yeah dude Hamilton's early. life is the funniest [ __ ] in the world. yeah and he's so they got their their. house got his mom dies like they get the. city comes like don't move you guys. don't spread this [ __ ] and then the her. original husband comes by and he was. like this house is mine now declare of. the blah blah blah where were they they. had Bas yeah they were somewhere I.

forgot what it was called Caribbean. somewhere the Caribbean where C think C. something like that yeah and the uh the. mom had finally inherited they were Salt. Life a small dude total Sal. salt Sinister dude it was bad they were. outnumbered by slaves like 5 to one yeah. on that island and they used to run. white guy drills they would ring a bell. and they had like they had like slave. revolt drills but that they fired shot. twice all the whites had a report to a. [ __ ] thing and like grab muskets and.

just be like here yeah it worked in. Haiti yeah they revoted they got him. yeah yeah yeah they were they were J. they were always worried about that dude. his uh so his the these two guys lose. their mom and they go another dude comes. in the son of the father like the. original son actually no it was the the. mom and the original father had two kids. but then those two kids did like a. before the Devils know you're dead like. Heist stole all their slaves and like.

ran away escaped America with all their. slaves dude stole all their [ __ ]. slaves this guy their original father. wanted to be a sugar Plantation on her. so bad and he kept failing at it so all. the slaves got jacked what a bum dude. such a [ __ ] bum and then uh and also. you know this is just a historical. record he was they think he was a secret. Jewish guy because you know I don't I. don't look I don't give a [ __ ] what the. guy was but are you telling me Jews had. something to do with the slave trade. this guy you're not allowed to say this. guy no he no it wasn't that at all he. was trying to if anything he was trying.

to get into it he was trying to dominate. the slave trade and the Dutch were just. [ __ ] crushing him so he uh so but. this guy did successfully sue and get. like his mother's their mother's family. took their little like Homestead or. whatever gave it to his son who like he. had he had like another son after his. like I think a wife died kids stole. slaves ran away he got a new wife then. she died and then he had this son he was. like you're my [ __ ] soul air and then. he [ __ ] so he like moved in with. these two Hamiltons was like I'm your.

protector right now like I'm I own. everything I take care of you guys then. he just [ __ ] stabbed himself to death. in but it's weird because he had a uh he. had a mistress a lot of people a lot of. these guys had black mistresses yeah so. he took a black mistress and he had a a. son you know whatever I forget the word. but like they had like a word for that. and like a son sted with M and ends with. oh they use the word freely yeah I don't. think it's even a bad word but it's so. smooth but the uh dude so then he have.

you ever read all those what those like. descriptives back down of like if you're. a quarterback if you're no it gets it. gets wild down they terms for every. single one I know dude I know because I. I've heard like quad drun yeah [ __ ] like. that guys use drun I think drune should. be. replaced you. know I don't know it sounds to me it's. like that doesn't sound good although. it's probably just it's like some. ancient Greek [ __ ] like drun means like. Ford I think it's all probably French.

yeah true yeah it was the frogs that. were working pretty hard at that doing. that that advanced out how black are you. that was cuz yeah take this quiz right. now no it was uh it's cuz they made laws. oh yeah if you're this black if you're. this black yeah yeah because yeah they. they they did talk about that how they. did have free slaves and Free Lotto I. think she changed her name to Lotto so I. think that's the appropriate term the r. the female rapper is not M she's Lotto. now so there was a female rapper named. matto yeah now she's called Lotto dude.

yeah that's like the Dix Dixie. Chicks the chicks we're just the chicks. now we're not into [ __ ] you know. we're not into. Dixie yeah you were that's how you made. all your money is Dixie slate was it is. that like yeah okay so it's saying like. Rebel South the Dixie Dixie all right I. don't think anyone was holding slavery. against the Dixie Chicks though I don't. think so we're the chicks we're just the. chicks now you know who participated in. the slave trade chicks true just so you.

know that's fair just so you know. there's no escaping it Dixie Chicks yeah. dude dude they're complicit as a white. woman in America you're still complicit. they might have got doesn't matter what. you call yourself does 23 and me tell. you if you had them yeah cuz they might. have got a. badra yeah oh my God 30 yeah God that's. funny if they're like you're actually a. quarter black you're like for real like. no just kidding you had slaves you're. like [ __ ] d dang it I had a feeling yeah. dude like you're a quarter Native.

American come to this building to never. pay taxes ever again you're like sweet. yeah they [ __ ] show you the paper. like does this look familiar you're like. I don't know what I'm looking at like. these are the slaves your family had. you're like God dang it damn it don't. tell anyone dude yeah no one you never. hear anyone come out and talk about the. fact of their family I think the Biden's. cop to a possible slave I don't know why. I think I saw an article recently that. said Trump's family was the only. president. presidential family that didn't own. slaves including Obama Obama Oh's family.

is that real there's I don't I don't. Sean look it up Lam you don't got to. look that seems like something Lam you. don't have to do anything I would never. tell you what to do po dude we were. listening to just like the [ __ ] that was. going on with it was just it was an. awkward car ride I felt awkward for. myself more so that I had to endure all. that potato F book yeah true just you. know true even also we're going to take. a. break break this this stuff's getting it.

wasn't easy for me. either but yeah man it was where's that. article from because that can't be real. it's the New York daily. news sounds legit New York daily news is. Big City it's one of the biggest cities. in the world and it's every day true. dude these guys don't. stop they confirm the claim confir yeah. they confirmed that Trump is the only. one every [ __ ] president had SL Lage. yeah like yeah the bushes for sure and.

that's what I'm saying I think they. Clinton's the Governor from Arkansas you. don't think he had them yeah true then. you know oh yeah Hillary for sure I. think Trump dog was Dutch he's dut he. looks like a nice little Dutch boy I I. think his lineage is Deutsch could be a. little deuts land too who knows these. days true I I honestly think that it's. going to be embarrassing in 200 years to. be any identifiable. ethnicity I think it's going to be kind. of like if you're like a visibly Irish.

dude people are gonna. go [ __ ] trust. me I still get it it's constantly be. like look at how pale he is freak it's. like it hurts to go. outside that is like a Greek [ __ ]. punishment to like get sunburnt just oh. my brother gets sunburn then it heals. and you gets sunburnt there's no like. yeah it's just it you just every day I. got sunburned this week yeah the RAV. just picks your [ __ ] ribs out and. then you go back and starts right back.

over what's that [ __ ] guy pushing not. Atlas I think Atlas pushed the boulder. Atlas yeah there's another one though. Copus yeah pushed the Boulder and rolled. down on him yeah he was Noble they. [ __ ] looked up to Copus they're like. that's the [ __ ] fact of that guy kept. that was like I hear he's Goggins I. shutter it true he was Greek Goggins I. shudder at that tail and apparently I. read a thing recently like no they were. like pumped on that story you got to. push the stone up the hill it's like why. I I read that I was like [ __ ] [ __ ] I. want to avoid that and apparently they. used to read that like I'd [ __ ] never. stop do it forever totally [ __ ] push.

that the other way yeah but you know I'm. more of a stealing fire kind of guy if. I'm being honest I know more of. Prometheus I know you. are you can have the boulders dude let. me just snatch some fire and some Flames. yeah that was cracking me up dude for. those guys hold on can we pause for a. second I have to whiz so do I actually. yeah let's all piss pardon me I have to. empty my bladder. got to take a. tit this episode is brought to you by.

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underwear support the show support your. balls are we back on dude Napoleon Total. War that is exciting I'm cracking open. the new Napoleon the old Napoleon Total. War Game how did I mean I don't want to. give it got [ __ ] on everyone hated it I. loved it I played it it you studied it. on Steam it tells you how long you've. played games Lam do you still have my. steam account on the steam deck no oh. thank god dude cuz if you saw how much I. played Napoleon Total War it would be.

crushing like 487. hours no it can't be that hot but it is. I played that and there was a total war. game that was like it was like Hamilton. times it was about the the colonies and. [ __ ] it was I played it non-stop that's. it was I remember you playing the one. with the colon I kind of remember that. they made they made like a newer version. of that with the Napoleonic Wars and let. me tell you dude when I saw those black. hats the Liverpool I think their name's. like the what's their name the. Liverpool [ __ ] Scottish guard I forget.

the black tell me what it is one of you. guys Google black no they well I think. they did have black hats but they. wore I mean this is good podcasting. military dress codes are they still. exist it's a it's the like an elite unit. in England in the UK I think they're. from Scotland. or anyway I saw those boys in I saw the. boys in the trailer hitting the square. formation against the calvary which is. what you do dude yeah I never saw a.

square formation before if there's a. Calvary charge you hit with the square. more of a Mongolian dude little circle. I'm I'm cell joke dude that's how you. defeat the circle the square you hit the. square inside the circle and now now. it's a shooting. galy oh Jesus Christ that makes sense. what the [ __ ] that's insane I'm an idiot. I can't remember their name dude I mean. that's that's what Las Vegas will do to. you true dude how was it how was it s. how was was the vibe of Vegas. overall what'd you find there.

boys oh I was thinking the black watch. okay right you see if I got that right. I'm having a time where did that take. you to I want to see where that took you. to took me to a hat with a green. feather I like that it's called a Robin. Hood yeah yeah the black watch that's. actually a sick that was a sick I think. that was the the I think the archers. done that is it the Royal Irish Rangers. it's the black watch black watch it's a. black watch but it looks like they.

weren't created until 1881 which was. after the Napoleonic Wars dude [ __ ] dude. I've never been this gay [ __ ] dude once. you put on Versace dude you forget. history and all you think about as [ __ ]. true I mean you become the now I'm in. the now I'm in the future just the B. true this is the future drip dude it's. [ __ ] sick dude it's so embarrassing I. saw it and I didn't know I knew it was I. thought was like it's Versace I was. that's a nice shirt and I went hell yeah. dude it is more expensive than.

everything else I own combined yeah yeah. that's good though and it's $1,700 for. the Versace shirt for the Versace shirt. that's. awesome yeah but could you imagine for. real like triple the rest of my wardrobe. could you imagine like having that itch. where it's like I need to have every. shirt like this when you start when I. went in buy one you feel pretty cool. yeah when you get but then you go into. the you go try it on and you look in the. mirror and you.

go maybe this world's not for. me well they have like [ __ ] secret. service guys in there like Security Guys. in there because that I think those. stores those are the most robable stores. I've ever seen although in a casino that. would be a little difficult yeah to get. out yeah cuz that thing's a maze already. I think they a guy an AR they have an. armed guard in there though I think a. guy will shoot you if you try to grab. the drip I think orders are to shoot if. someone drip cuz there there's like a. million doll worth of [ __ ] in there. basically and there's just five things.

there's just like two shirts a wallet. and like a pair of shoes and that's like. this is the whole store and you walk in. there like yes oh do you have this in a. gigantic man size that's that's the. absolute that's girl that's girlfriend. hell dude like let's just look and you. go in there and you're like we what are. we doing neither of us can afford in it. like I would go in there like college. age High School age girlfriends like why. what are we doing we can neither neither.

of. us just like yeah this is kind of cool. okay can we leave now yeah okay can we. go kiss in my. car hey that's I'll be honest if I could. take it all back I would have remained. chased I would have been chased if I. could have taken it all back but. unfortunately in high school I did have. sweetheart I had sweetheart you. sweethearts sweethearts dude you [ __ ]. I wish I didn't have sweethearts dude I. should have been [ __ ] spanked should.

have spanked out dude oh my God where. are we at TimeWise get into it or you. trying to save it for the patreon we. might have to save it for the patreon. otherwise I'm talking Total War in. Napoleon I like to hear this stuff I. mean it's as cool as a guess you're. going to like this about Napoleon you. see when he was in Egypt yeah yeah I. didn't know he shot the [ __ ] par. that's when he found out he got cucked. is that why his nose missing uh I think. it was before then but he got accused of. that. they like he didn't look white such a. peasant brain dude I'm like is that. where the nose came from no it I I think.

a peasant R I think that's a common uh. yeah thing. peasant uh Napoleon found out he got. cocked did he in Egypt who cocked him. Josephine that chick with the cut hair. I'm saying which dude a dude cucked him. oh uh a fancy Cavalier man [ __ ] a. Dandy cucked him oh with his he probably. cut a bottle of champagne in half and. cucked him oh that sucks cuz when he met. that lady in the trailer Josephine the. reason her hair was like that she was. just arrested it was during the.

revolution she just got out of jail he. freed her I don't I don't think he freed. her he just met that babe at a party oh. he could tell that she was a bad [ __ ]. like. whoa uh but she didn't love him at first. and then she cocked him while he was in. Egypt he's taking over the world and she. can't keep her [ __ ] legs closed but. back then if you were a French General. the worst thing you could be is a cuck. yeah everybody got cucked but you just. had to have Mistresses and then everyone. was like all right you're cool yeah so. he had he got a bunch of Mistresses.

right away as soon as he got cocked as. soon as he got cucked he just out of. he's like well now I have to damn he. didn't want to he didn't want to dude he. was a lover boy he was a lover boy he. was in love he was obsessed his last. words were Josephine oh my God Lov his. bab dude imagine it's got to be crazy. too though to cuck your husband and then. like hear that he just conquered Egypt. you're like yeah like oh he's coming. home gu just conquered the world he's. coming back here I cheated on him. well what a brat what a brat she was she. was a brat.

dope although to be fair dude chicks. with no no cell phone they would sat and. just waited for years dude then some. [ __ ] Calvary man comes in and a. [ __ ] just walked by went yeah she was. like what's so. funny your. Brites take off your britches Madame oh. she's like God damn and who might you.

be I was listening to a uh I don't what. the [ __ ] book was I reading it was. uh I honest I think it was a ker guard. either or where he just writes about how. bad everything he's like no matter what. you do it sucks dude he's like you have. to just he's like it's not about he's. like if I if you hang yourself you'll be. like this is a stupid idea I should have. done that if you don't hang yourself. you're like I should [ __ ] hang myself. yeah he's like only thing he lays out. like how did he die I don't know I don't. think himself did he hang him I don't I.

don't know I don't know I think he died. peacefully but I think the point of he. was laying out was like it's all about. inner resources dude the outer. circumstance no you're gonna be pissed. no matter what dude you have to just. Beast up internally I think that was I. don't know if you get cued and then. you're like [ __ ] it I'm blowing up the. pyramids yeah that's [ __ ] sick that's. sick as hell but M dude that yeah true. that does rule I'm shoot cannon at a. bunch of guys riding camels that also. that could be he could have that goes on. that goes on today he could have sunk. into his cuck and said he was like blow. the [ __ ] face off that our boys our.

boy the Marines go overseas they get. cucks constantly. bro [ __ ] [ __ ] it well dude it's your. girlfriend is your cheetah pet dude and. you don't [ __ ] you don't. water I'm thinking of a tamagachi it's. all right the tamagachi gets s dude. [ __ ] someone picks it up like I'll. give this thing a [ __ ] pellet they're. like it is worse when girls cheat dude. can we get can we have Guy Talk dude we. just have [ __ ] guy talk OB obviously. it's wor it's so much worse when they do.

that I was watching The Godfather last. night before bed every depiction of. Italians is just them cheating and being. [ __ ] dorks dude you you have to watch. uh [ __ ] what's the one the movie about. it's like the quintessential it's in. Italy and they're just like all stabbing. each other in the back yes Sodom it's. called yeah it's called that's it it's. Gamora it's just all it's just Italian. Guys betraying each other that's all. they do it's so funny dude the whole. Godfathers them just [ __ ] betraying. each other it's all tricks gamor is like.

before they come to the states just them. in Italy just shooting each other and. tricking each It's the funniest [ __ ]. movie of all time but yeah dude it's. it's so bad I I explained that to. Britney I'm like yeah you don't. understand like for a woman to cheat on. a guy for a guy to cheat he just gets. busted and it's like yeah what a dumbass. a woman can have convince a guy to raise. somebody else's child I was like it's. way more disasterous than women cheat. yeah she was like yeah I guess I can see. what you mean I was like look we're. obviously bound to marriage but I'm. saying it's doubly wrong when women it's.

wrong no matter what pillow talk this is. L before bed just like are you awake. just so you know I I hit her the other. day with like we're sitting there and I. I think she had some song on it was like. bad [ __ ] whatever and I was like if you. were truly a bad [ __ ] wouldn't you have. just a nasty [ __ ] like a gross they're. always saying like [ __ ] so wet and. perfect it's like wet should be like a. fish's mouth dude just a [ __ ] wet. bony puss like a shitty bony [ __ ] that.

stinks you ever have a fish mouth sarlac. pit yeah I like I like to hit her with. those but no CU girls is players too. yeah it's like doesn't work that way I. gotta give that one to Billy Billy's. been making me laugh at that he keeps. singing that [ __ ] dumb song apple. bottoms on the night I just want to have. a good night that's the dumbest song of. all time but I've I've re I've got some. new lyrics for it what you. got it's almost Halloween night I just.

want to have a good. Freight so look out for that come. October dude you're going to roll that. right into [ __ ] Napoleon in. Thanksgiving Napoleon Thanksgiving is. gonna be insane if this movie sucks it's. not dude it can't suck reallyy Scott. Scott [ __ ] rules have you seen a bad. movie with haen Phoenix by the way I I. don't know of one. a24 can drop some real stinkers I never. I heard the master was good what's that.

he's in that it's him and Philip Seymour. Hoffman so that's got to be pretty good. it's got to be nasty I think it's kind. of about scientology or entirely pretty. tight uh no Wen rules what you got the. Joker's overrated I went back to watch. it again it kind of sucks that's black. panther propaganda though that was all. that was white guy black panther yeah. dude how dare you how dare you dude I. feel the same way about black panther. black pan was so bad I was laughing. audibly in the.

theater I couldn't believe it dude for a. Marvel movie if you just go if you keep. it in the box of just Marvel Marvel. movies I Britney made me watch all of. them and it's like they put a little. extra TLC into it it is that's it it's. like it's a formula it's a standard yeah. yeah yeah we're about to lose wait. reinforcements yeah they had one more. little thing yeah there was like one. thing and I was like oh that's slightly. off the formula that was that my true. remembrance of it yeah it wasn't the I. don't think it was like a. culturally it didn't like shift anything.

it was just [ __ ] yeah that was nuts. like this is a cultural achievement it's. like yeah it's all right man Napoleon's. going to be although A2 not that this is. A2 a24 tricked me bad the green the. Green Knight you saw the Green Knight I. saw a trailer for The Green Knight I was. like this is it dude yeah I can't wait. and then I saw in theaters and I was. fuming I was Sam from the specials when. the movie started I was. like Midway through it.

has it just stunk yeah also now that I I. just thought of this cuz I have small. hands and I was clapping uh Trump's. hands regular if not big he's just a big. dog he's got regular hands really Rogan. confirmed weird Rogan and him had a. [ __ ] dude he tried to hit with the. [ __ ] intense got can't do that to. Ries dude Ries was with him just damn.

they had intense handshake we got to. work on that just [ __ ] shaking people. yeah just fully [ __ ] come here. [ __ ] nice to meet you I'm glad to. meet you what other movies did people. pay like black panther had a lot of lip. service paid to it yeah I'm I'm like was. that was that like a did that ever. happen I'm sure it happened before that. but like I can't think of a time that. like people were like C culturally. afraid to bash a movie to be like yeah. it sucks I mean it was like get out yeah.

that was right after anytime it's just a. black movie yeah but dude that was that. was such a weird couple of years except. for the blackening well that's cuz the. blackening is very obviously a white. people movie yeah it's very like white. people humor like yeah what's the. Blacky I'm going to toss on a trailer. for you it's like a scary movie we'll. give an honest white man's review on on. the patreon. it's time for white guys to sit down and. watch black movies it's time for us to. get.

angry oh yeah we got do we do gota go to. the patreon let's yeah let's go to. patreon guys let's go thank you goodbye. now.