Ep 441 - B.L.A.D.E.Z. (feat. Chris O'Connor & Tommy Pope)

wow wow West cat scoring a. goal I saw this has Chris written all. over Chris is going to love this C is. this that autistic dude that says like. mundane [ __ ] walks off like it's. something intense there's a crazy event. happening this weekend have we begun. dude have we begun we've only just dude. did we ever did we ever even stop that. that's the question from last week. that's the. question is.

big dude was just a cat scoring a goal. autism. watch that's [ __ ] did you say is that. real no. no turn start over start over start over. holy [ __ ] yeah cat ran on the pitch put. an upper 90 beat the go with a tail. flick yeah I didn't see the other. players I thought tough it was tough D. cat do that dolphins do it Dolphins.

easily my dad's on the C it's crazy what. they could do these days uh but I don't. deny anything the coolest stuff is found. every day a cat wandering on soccer I'm. like that definitely happen the first. time I watched it I did I had a moment. where I was like you can't train a cat. yeah the first time you see it the first. time the ball hits him you're like maybe. that happened yeah I'll have a child's. brain like they purposely hit him or. yeah the ball was just going by and he. hit it.

skateb I've seen some dogs surfing I've. seen some dogs bugs sit on the front of. a surfboard dude leaning into a. skateboard on the [ __ ] a cat hitting. a [ __ ]. upper it was going so fast the rest of. the thing was a cat at a press. conference watching like a fat security. guard try and catch like a raccoon on a. baseball field [ __ ] funny that's good. I was watching yeah there's some good. animals on animals on field compilations. on YouTube you can treat yourself to.

that can we just bleep what the cat did. so we no one knows how in fact we're. going to attach the intro the intro I'll. send you the video that's the intro. scoring a goal no way. King uh how the heck are you guys but. yeah both you guys have been sending me. that sou South African guy I assume he's. so [ __ ] Funny's he's locked on to it. the way you're locked on to cat to cat. video are I can't get enough of this guy.

every 10 minutes at did I send you the. one with the Prince Harry Prince Harry. gave up a whole nation for his. girlfriend yeah don't you dare settle. for anything than total commit his. comments are it's just ladies being like. Oh my God finally a nice guy I know he. just it's it's them doing Gorge instead. of like hawkey being you know Pedro. Selena's gorgeous yeah yeah it's just. it's just [ __ ] girls being like it's. about time guys stand up for what r.

but he's also like he's it's so. transparent like what he's going through. like there'll be one where he's like. he's like you [ __ ] with my family you. [ __ ] with me and then the next one will. be like listen don't just ghost me. don't like you ghost me I ghost you you. left me un red I leave you on like. you'll tell when my love's gone yeah if. I don't reply immediately dude he's. wearing just like a Bart Simpson Hood. either.

that's apparently like an $800 shirt. from Balenciaga sure sure someone told. me that and I went [ __ ] what the hell. dude he's a sociopath who just reads. bumper stickers and like they're. powerful and then walks off it's like. dude what I mean I've gone on to watch. his YouTube Vlog and I think it's very. Illuminating yeah he's just a hot dumb. guy he's a hot dumb guy who's plugged. into a thing and it's just like all you. can do these days is if you get like you. got to get super jacked and then you can. just walk around and put on like cool. kid clothes yeah and say something.

stupid yeah yeah he's got like. 00 it's a highly profitable Endeavor. he's a consultant I actually love. girls and if you were with me I would be. nice to you and I would never be mean. I've got a couple of these there's. versions of it that is like Western guys. I get Cowboys get hot cowboys like. cowboy hats like yeah I mean it's it's. like the what I would wear on my first. date with you it's a cowboy guy it's a. Christian cowboy R hor the romance.

novels for the Modern Age yeah they're. just the deconstructive romance Noel. they also do those there's females that. are romance novel authors that make. Instagram reals I was in that hole for a. while wait what one girl is like a. hockey groupy so she only writes. romantic novels for like hockey so it'll. be like when your when your boyfriend. versus your ex-boyfriend meet on the ice. and it's just like a hockey clip of two. guys fighting.

I feel like people that write romance. novels there's no way they're good in. bit you know what I mean they're just. fantasizing about being good in bit I. bet they're pretty all I. do that's all you can do dude good bad. no I mean like describing these sexual. encounters it's like they probably never. been you know fingered in the woods no I. bet they're they probably blush I'd. imagine they blush I mean just imagine. fingering your third great English. teacher that's all yeah it's easier to. write much easier to write remember.

which one it was it is a blush passed. away was there any of your teachers in. grade school you would have taken down. oh 100% I my art teacher I think she was. grooming me really yeah what was she. doing she would come to my house. personally and we on your penis. Tommy she was talking you had an art. teacher that came and gave you private. lessons yes yes and she would like she. would like get close oh you're you're. yeah thanks oh that awesome for teach.

it'd be funny if that's how all the guys. in the Renaissance were which is tommies. so you want me to [ __ ] what do you. want on that. roof just taking beer breaks cuz my neck. hurts with paint in the ceiling look at. his little. pecker put a little pecker on him. everybody's got small dicks on purpose. [ __ ] them ick got to live with the he. dies and that one I made a [ __ ]. flying machine you spins around you. fly wpp Angelo.

it does seem like Z it's literally a. cork. screw Michelangelo Da Vinci D he can go. [ __ ] himself those designs suck every. one of the drawings is like something I. came up with in like fifth grade he was. he was musk for back in he was coming up. with like futuristic weapons he was you. guys got to see some of my bar napkin. drawings [ __ ] they're out there your. drawings are good your painting is good. I saw it I I admired your art I said wow. that's nice I'll bring it up here I like. that we need some yeah I need some more.

art wow wow Wes was the teacher I wanted. to [ __ ] yeah you should name her on this. yeah she'd love to hear probably dead. dead by now or something think she's. dead I don't know self-inflicted or you. think old. age I know but she looked exactly like. Pam. Anderson there's no way fuing to me she. looked exactly like about to the whistle. go to the goo. yeah people are going to find this one.

going to find her obituary dude de no. she changed her name multiple times what. I don't. know there's no way they're going to. find her yeah we had an eighth grade. teacher with she was old but she had. giant tits yeah and it made everyone. everyone was like she's so hot yes dude. it's crazy how she was not hot yeah but. you're 13 it was like watered tits dude. it doesn't matter what you look like we. had a certified babe when I was in. eighth grade the fifth grade teacher was. a certified babe and IED still like.

disrupt found her. already uh I don't know it might be. definitely yo dude that's babe teacher. yeah oh. really con how's that geometry going be. her name set it up you seriously could. probably take her I don't want if she. has a family I don't disrespect her but. like you could probably take her down. now I bet Conor what's stopping you dude. what is she tutoring uh social.

studies bro dude I forget all the. capital getting worked up I know I. forgotten all the capitals I need. help oh what's a cital Thailand. Bangkok Let's. Kiss what you what what you. saying what's her maral status dude get. to the goods.

dude that'd be so hot you'd be like mcon. from France I don't think it would. matter if she knew it was you we had. some lesbian teachers too they were. there was two they're called gym. teachers they were math they were math. true true bounty. hunters teer we had a Dog the bounty on. a gym teacher I think she wore like. wraparound. Oakleys oh dude we had a gym teacher in. in high school that was dog the bount. pure dog the bount she call us.

snakes she be like get in there Snake. come on. snake she was the best speaking of. heaters Dog The Bounty Hunters ladies SS. are enormous she's dead oh she died she. died from what oh man meat over the. cartel send her head over on a. turtle dog was like oh. no. no did she look like kind of just like. him yes that's so hot to find a lady.

that looks the most like you and then. have sex with her until she dies maybe. the worst B breath face in history Dog. the Bounty Hunter's wife yeah why yeah. wait the what for sure bad breath face. bad breath face the you can see you can. see bad breath on someone's face well at. that point her tit sweat could be like. in the zone of breath would tit sweat. stinks don't be smch dog's beautiful. face that casket had Springs on. it shocks dude that's kind of [ __ ]. we don't seek out someone who looks like.

the most like us to mate with and then. just [ __ ] it's just your. sister true well nonrelated obviously. just your. sister I think a lot people something to. what I think a lot of people do do that. there are couples where they they do. look like they're well there's like a. science where you you constantly look at. yourself and then you you know you see. yourself as the standard of beauty what. the hell happened to. me what science is that. I was hoping to.

follow who told you that you were. somebody told you no you're right to. think that no I think it's like a every. time you look at the Mir you're. like this is it no I mean there's a I I. used the wrong words but there's like a. normal the doctor prescribed normaly to. your angles and your look so that when. you see somebody it looks like you. you're like if I see a woman that looks. like me I. go it's like that uh that Chappelle. sketch the when the haters go back in. time he's like don't make fun of him.

buck nasty one of them could be a great. great granddaddy he looks up and he sees. him and he's. like yeah I have the opposite if I see a. woman who looks even remotely like me I. want to physically attack. her yeah I want to destroy her yeah dude. you know what you can know what I. realize you can do in your car and road. rage if you're Road raging with a woman. you're within your legal right from your. car to go oh yeah from your. car don't.

I may or may not have employed it today. I heard you Road raging you were Road. raging against a black lady when we were. on the I did yeah I did I Road raged her. yes well she was Road it was like an. intense one we just she Road raged me I. was chilling I was dude Chill Zone 10:00. in the morning it's like I'm at my. zenith of chill no it was 10 o'clock in. the morning cuz I was I was on the phone. with you you've been getting up a little. early every now and then and I think it. was I was heading to workout 10:30. workout bam the uh for a second I was. like oh dude it could have been [ __ ].

but no I was pulling up and there was. traffic on Gerard Avenue just you know. like a little two-lane Street in Philly. and I go to pull up and there's like a. break in the traffic cuz I'm at a red. light ready to make a right and like 20. feet behind me there was like a lady so. I didn't have the light but I was like I. have nothing but space and I'm pulling. into traffic so I just pulled right in. and stopped yeah dude she pulled behind. me [ __ ] let off the loudest most. insane honk just a big fat like pissed. off black lady just just fully shaking. her [ __ ] car screaming out of her window.

and I chilled for a minute and I stopped. and I went rolled my window down went. shut the [ __ ]. up she went bistic she went bistic dude. dude yeah then she kept tell I I don't. care I don't care I don't care got. pulled back. they no everybody treats Gerard like. [ __ ] Frogger they just don't stop. crazy and there's not that many lights. dude when I was in college I I lived at. uh in North Philly and two people it's.

like older lady and then a younger dude. were just sitting in the middle of the. street like the turning lane and as I. went to turn she pushed this kid in. front of like my car and his these are. pedestrians yeah and it hooked the the. purse of this the younger one and they. made another car made me pull over as if. I hit this person they pull out like a. siren and [ __ ] no he like cut me off. he's like you hit her you hit her going. [ __ ] nuts so I pull over and then I. was like I just got out I'm like you.

okay she dropped her purse right and I'm. like are you okay I'm just passing. through and then I realized the kid's. like mentally ill so the girl's like yes. and then she go the mom's like she's not. okay she's not okay and now I'm in this. like she's fine she just said then she. went no and they took my license plate. like 30 30 days later I got a [ __ ]. what you get in the mail I had to go to. court and they had to settle with my. insurance company they tried to get like. 350 Grand and eventually settled out of. court for like 15 00 bucks Frogger all.

right oh my God like we want 350,000. it's like all right we're going to give. you a th000 deal yeah that's it's a. [ __ ] scam they just chill in the. middle of the streets looking for a. payout oh man I fell for it I was young. and dumb full of C yeah could. have just kept moving yeah I couldn't. dude the the the the police the people's. police were out in the about trying to. they would have [ __ ] me up yeah y. although that might you might have been. in on the scam. you almost got you almost got.

WWE you almost got oh yeah the scam. expert L mer L. mer come on say seems like a no I'll. leave him be oh yeah I can tell when. there's a no he's got a pack he got a. pack of scams he's been scammed but I. can I can tell when you have been. scammed or you doing scamming he got. scammed oh let's go we've already talked. about it but he was he was uh we were in.

Milwaukee got on Milwaukee gone wild. subreddit tried to dude tried to join an. orgy they made him they made him buy a. ticket he was like I'm only going to. give you half then he got to the holiday. in and or the days in or whever it was a. holiday in in Milwaukee and they were. like he was like all right I'm here they. were like we're too busy [ __ ] we. can't let you. in but they're texting know.

how much you how much you lose 100 oh. [ __ ] that's not too bad you got that's a. fun time for bucks thinking you're about. to come yeah that's tough you know it's. what it's attached to yeah but the. emotional roller coaster ride's kind of. fun you know yeah a fun story I was. happy your heartbeats it's flopping at a. level you once you walking that days in. yeah you're getting psyched dude that's. worth 100 bucks feel something in. Milwaukee there's nothing else to do. lose 100 bucks on a fake Nar hly yeah. yeah you should have just jerked off to.

the idea of it happening I'm sure he did. sure I'm about to beat I've done that. I've done that a couple times I've been. on the pages and then just and then just. texted someone and they'll be like I'll. meet you right now and I just jerk off. and I go yeah the thrill I ordered one. in in Montana and this rhino showed up. and I was I shut the door I was. like I was like I knew I should have. done this dude dude be beating off the. off the hook ads is like the Harry. portal just into like you're standing.

right at like like platform. 33 right there you're about to go. through into another part of life there. is something hot about like just reading. like the descriptions of like who you. could possibly order walk these days in. is a getting ear support with a phone. call is a very dangerous game as well. like I don't know they're talking like. never. mind they'll get you they protect their. own dude you got to watch this.

why they backed the blue yeah I think I. don't how do you think hookers are doing. now you think they're like thriving or. you think they're getting back paged out. of existence or what like it seems like. they're doing pretty good I think they. just start doing that I follow them on. Twitter no yeah you follow back page. hookers on Twitter yeah well they've. been dispersed dude I follow a couple. why I I just want to see what they're up. to you know what they're up to they're. [ __ ] it's interesting cuz they're. always like they they just they make me. mad cuz they'll like they'll they tweet.

you are a [ __ ] serial. 100% sex workers make me. mad what I follow them on social. media he's pissing not [ __ ] him Lord. no not that mad they just like they'll. always they'll always be like oh man I. tripped today can someone send me 200. bucks it'll be like that kind of stuff. yeah they're like alt Comics yeah. exactly dude and they're trying to put. together tour yeah dude can my aunt send.

me $200 yes they post some guy that. wants to yeah or they they they they'll. be like going to be their whole things. that trying to take advantage of the. weak-minded they're like they're like. pastors you know I mean pastors are just. selling this the fake story of Jesus to. [ __ ] it's kind of true to mentally. ill people you talking about the fake. story yeah dude even if okay let's get. into it dude even if it's Jesus is just. a historical person what a great the. [ __ ] ripple effect he's had on the.

history of humanity yeah take the away. the Transcendent element dude I'm just. it's more about the pastors these guys. need to tone it down with all their. goods yeah those late night pastors they. got to hide some money dude well again. another they're like hookers for. religion it's like exactly yeah that's. fair but again if you know woe to them. who [ __ ] fall for such a thing yeah. you see the dude in like Detroit that. just got [ __ ] you think Jesus would. protect showing up in like a Bentley and. like diamond suits and [ __ ] walking into. some dog [ __ ] Church in Detroit like.

dude these people are trying to eat. dinner yeah but every once in a while. you start watching them and you start. thinking like could I do that yeah like. how long would it take me to to rise the. ranks we had a friend in Phillies whose. dad was a pastor you need Charisma dude. you need lots of Charisma yeah stage. presence yeah yeah yeah not going to do. it I've been watching the tape recently. Tommy Tommy's got some stage presents. yeah yeah Hitler Hitler could have been. a great pastor. yeah you know he was he was a great.

Pastor I guess he would have made a. pretty poor Rabbi. though I got a. hun I'm sorry dude I haven't had a beer. yet I I'm doing you hate these you hate. the Priestly class huh you hate the. Priestly class I do yeah I got I got. real stickler about those [ __ ]. these days gotcha I guess just. upbringing I wasn't abused or anything. but just the whole I'm bitter about what.

I don't 12 years of Catholic school I. don't have it yeah man other people do. yeah you're not the only one there's a. couple guys I like Bill bur seemed it he. had some jokes that were like that about. the priests about like growing up and. that yeah yeah it's not just a priest. though it's like I was pissed at my. parents for a while my dad never went to. church but like he formulated like a. system like where I if you didn't go you. were like grounded and [ __ ] yeah imagine. what else you might have gotten into if. you didn't go to church you imagine. having kids you don't go to church and. you get to send your kids away for an.

hour and a half every Sunday yeah it's. great every Sunday just like you guys go. yeah or you're grounded yeah hold it. down awesome I'd have like three. religions for my kids how bought into it. were you as a child oh it's no never I. was all in I mean in grade school I'm. all. in I'm talking grade scho were you yes. up until like seventh grade yeah that's. normal yeah yeah I was on my hands and. knees doing prayers at night in fifth. grade I think. [Laughter].

butt up butt. up give me the holy maybe I'm figuring. out why I'm pissed they [ __ ] tricked. me you was like kissing the guy through. the confession. [Laughter]. screen yeah I feel indiffer I remember. being younger and being like man that's. I brought up religion dude shut the [ __ ]. up who cares rules religion I love.

religion dude are you a Buddhist or. something like that now I can see you. being like no I never I can never get. like that into it cuz then you're just. doing all these like rituals every day. it's like I couldn't possibly sit down. and like say words to my ancestors for. real you seem like a very spiritual dude. though I do I have a ritual I do in the. morning where I blast cold water on. myself and imagine the like the. unfathomable depths of space and I go. man dude I should be happy to be alive. yeah I hit cold water on myself and I go. and it hits me and I go one day all my. particles will be out in deep dark cold.

space and I just go I might as well take. advantage of this now that's my ritual I. do right now that's pretty good that's. like Zen that's meditation I'm pretty. Zen I guess I guess you could say but. they all School up all those things. School up and they turns into a [ __ ]. cult eventually and it's like stinky. yeah you got to it's it's it's feels. like it's easy to slip into the ctess of. it yeah you know cuz it's so nice to. believe in a higher power yeah yeah dude. I went to when I I was in uh Rhode.

Island and I I was driving home and I. passed the Vidant society which is like. a it's like a sect of Hinduism and I was. like dude I want to go in there in the. I've never passed a place like that I. want to see what it was like so I got up. at like 5:30 in the morning and went to. like their morning service dude I I you. I sat on a [ __ ] it was so sick they're. very this weekend you went to a Hindu. service yeah this weekend I got up like. 5:30 and I imagine not tell telling your. friends that should be the first thing. out of your mouth 100% really I forgot. all about it dude I went dude it went in.

it was [ __ ] sick it was only like six. people but I rolled in and it was just. like two holy [ __ ] they were probably. like all right this is it yep here's the. shooter here he. is what kind of people were in there. bishy I am. become we just it was we went and we. just sat in silence live streaming. that's we just sat on pillows on this on. an altar for like an hour the whole when. I went in I was like oh [ __ ] am I. sitting in like the wrong spot cuz it.

just it's totally silent yeah then a. lady like got up after an hour a lady. went and got up and hit a keyboard and. was. like he just chilled I was like this is. awesome nobody said hi to you or what. are you doing here no they they welcome. you there grab an extra pillow or were. they no there was one on there thank God. so yeah so we just chilled and like. acking restaurant dude it was nice dude. you just sat like Indian style yeah well. my knee started to hurt so I can't. that's the thing too it's totally silent. I'd be like.

I kept trying to move my knees in the. morning dude in the morning my stomach. the whole. time mine mine was growling but the lady. was being really loud which I was like. thank God because she would do something. loud then I'd be like like move my legs. you got to time it with the with the big. brao that's insane you did this dude you. hit the keyboard and start they just did. this whole thing and I was like sitting. there and a dude just slid me a book. he's like here you go and just like. pointed to the page like we're right. here I was like thanks brother it was. just me like but when I first went in. there I was nervous cuz I was like I had.

my eyes closed and I I never seen these. guys I don't know these guys like these. I was like expecting them to clobber me. one dude just like beat my ass and be. like we got. him yeah the I mean imagine imagine your. wife not thinking you're [ __ ]. somebody else you're like I'm just going. to go to a Hindu church at 5:30 I'll be. right back you got nothing to bring home. to prove that you didn't [ __ ] somebody I. was laughing it's it's like that Meme. they think like you're thinking about. other girls and I was I was in like a. non-dist temple. yeah that is a great [ __ ] way to to.

start cheating on you on your spouse. just like start this whole program where. you're checking out new religions every. early. morning dude I had I took I took the. most challenging the farting thing. reminded me I took the most challenging. [ __ ] of my entire life recently I was at. seven Street comedy club and I like had. to [ __ ] so bad and it's a tiny little. room and the bathroom is like a thin. door right next to the showroom and I. literally and and I had I had explosive.

explosive like like I couldn't hold it I. tried to hold it for like 45 minutes and. then and Aaron B was on stage Aaron B. was on stage and literally said it's. like you you hear people [ __ ] that's. how like small this room. is dude I literally I was holding I was. holding an ask and I. was straight up sha Shank Redemption. like I was I was farting when he would. get laughs like I was just and it was so.

painful I can't tell who that came. from sound like we're all one being. anyway it doesn't. matter we're all particles he was on. stage we're all particles so what's the. difference guys I can fart constantly. we're all particles those are just. particles they're made out of stard dust. just like. you that gas was destined to escape from. someday you'll meet that gas.

again I mean if the universe is infinite. eventually your parles will meet that. far again for sure in a swirling in the. swirling Cosmos better chance to meet. your grand I'll just smell it one last. time so how it end up yeah it took got. away with it yeah yeah I got away with. it dude I was some girl fainted walking. for breezing like crazy it took me his. entire set to get the [ __ ] out how was. the wipe clean that's what's up surpr.

well I was I was letting it out just. like there is something that happens. before shows where you you got to you. you rush the [ __ ] yeah like if I'm about. to go on and I have to [ __ ] you got to. rush it then you got to dirty ass e yeah. that happens started bringing they make. they make tubs of Vaseline for your lips. then you take your pants off later and. it smells oh God oh. my no. Chris good Lord not that I bet it does. liquid deaths Mountain Water flavored.

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drenched exclusions May apply that's. liquid death.com drenched wow it was. let's get back to the show please let me. ask you a question you got it and feel. free to jump in on this one yeah what if. you could put all of your photos onto. one gorgeous. frame oh I'd love it you can I can with. a connected frame from Aura Shane it was. named the best digital photo frame by. wire cutter and the strategist and and. featured in hundred of gift hundreds of.

gift guides auta frames are guaranteed. to make Mom or Grandma. smile I'd really like that cuz my. grandma hasn't smiled in a while my. grandma has passed away samees I could. put one of those oras on her tombstone. which I've have never visited. once what you put pictures of Ronnie. Coleman me having fun true I'm alive. just any other anyone grieving just be.

like hey what are you doing over there. yeah K must be nice not suffering at all. hope you're having fun down there I. can't. wait well Shane it takes just minutes to. set up for years of enjoyment what would. you load on your frame we already talked. about that Sports taunting our dead. taunting our dead relatives invite as. many people as you want to add their. photos to the frame you never know what. fun or embarrassing moments you'll get. to relive oh my God. right now Aura has a great deal for.

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have a show at the stand it's May 3rd. which is when this is coming out this. evening if you're listening right now. please come I'd really appreciate it you. better get out you going to get this out. this evening uh no it's tomorrow. tomorrow okay yeah yeah so Wednesday May. don't be [ __ ] around with a days like. that dude I can't. tell thank you thank you Matt let's get. back to the show where we're having a. great time with our friends Chris and. Tommy hey. guys Vaz is in my road kit now they have. these little tiny tubs they have tiny.

tubs for chap lips yeah my asses dude. first [ __ ] of the weekend my ass is just. completely disarray a little little it's. a tiny TB did you give birth to your. kids why is it all [ __ ] up no cuz I. when I take you take a [ __ ] and then. like you don't get to wipe properly you. go on stage you do the whole night yeah. it gets all [ __ ] like blistery or. whatever that is man if you don't wipe. your ass right dude it's just like [ __ ]. just destroys your body yeah I told you. don't have a do you have a a Squatty or. a tushy no I have a travel one but I. always forget it but I take the trash. can but it's like once I'm in the club I.

have to [ __ ] what do you mean a travel. one you have a travel Squatty Potty they. fold travel bedet no no no just a bedet. at Home Cle it happens to me when I'm. gone I have a bedet the line broke I get. a new one but the yeah you got to wet. the toilet paper you got I'm saying the. road TR bringing some well that's the. vas just [ __ ] smear it with v dude. move I was putting aquafer on my. butthole for a while aquer why don't you. aquafer why don't you get just. Preparation H isn't that vas isn't that. it's proper yeah just for your butthole.

V that was like something different. though tomato tomato yeah well it's. Vaseline that help. hemorrhoid shameful Vaseline prep H. feels yeah you buy it's a bright yellow. box you got walk through the Walgreens. yeah and it's for your lips it's tiny. it's like lip intens every know o. somebody's going to use that. true wife's going to be like oh nice I. told her to get it for my specifically. for my butthole you like stay away from. that one I told her I'm like these are. mine have you have you wied your butt.

and then put your finger back on the. thing I've made that mistake as a child. yes I've stank up some Vaseline I've. stanking up the family Vaseline a couple. times dude that sucks when you open it. up and it's just like [ __ ] groans in. your face do you ever stank up the. Vaseline. no yeah it holds the ass smell forever. did you ever St it up yeah dude it's. what do you mean it's chapped ass yeah. you go I would go three fingers in that. thing you [ __ ] your ass up you. you you dude if you if your ass is so.

gross that when you take your pants off. it smells like that so [ __ ] that's a. lie all right I believe you I knew one. guy who take it back know this Lies when. I when I would uh like I was why you. coming at as musy like that we've had. we've had several. disputes I when I was playing sports. though if I was really exerting myself. at the end of practice I would like my. [ __ ] spandex or whatever would be. like I'd be like this is I definitely. [ __ ] a little bit oh wow whoa you never.

had I would think football you'd be you. would think no no I I've never [ __ ]. myself playing football it was never. hard to find like NFL pro players with. little dung in their pants after also be. going to cafeteria being basically just. eating like buckets of. oene yeah gives you anal. leakage drael cat food yeah yeah can't. believe that [ __ ] cat scored that. it's.

crazy [ __ ] that's yeah was that real. that's a tough one dude it got me man. they got. me yeah I we had a nice weekend Lami was. with me oh yeah we went to the Cassini. oh yeah Parks yeah how was it couple of. the birds showed up that was pretty. exciting which ones uh it was two tight. ends stall and Tyrie and then Jurgens. the guard and Ian book dude get to hang.

out with Ian book so excited soon as he. walked in I was. like yeah is he pretty embarrassing yes. nice he looks he's cool did they stay at. the casino or did they go say We we. played blackjack he's our third as [ __ ]. yeah yeah I guess can he punt second. he's probably. second see that punter we picked up. sorry this is going to be boring draft. was crazy was yeah what do they call him. the uh he's a [ __ ] J Carter or.

something Jaylen Carter is a good one we. got the secondary of that of the school. we got Georgia Georgia yeah back yep. dude we're going to be. dirty following the news we got. Georgia's [ __ ] secondary got George's. defense how about our running back. though how about our [ __ ] running. back bro what a DeAndre Swift coming. back to Philly kind of nice yeah he went. to St Joe's Prep did he yeah yeah I know. he [ __ ] high school he went he went. to Georgia yeah yeah the hell how about.

that something's going on it's going to. be good year boys yeah something's going. yeah we already Birds looking good dude. birds are looking real good how' they. get such good draft picks after almost. the god Roseman how roseman's been he's. ay business he fleeces every [ __ ]. team qu billion dollars too yeah that. hurts it's going of hurt yeah true who. hurts yeah but he doesn't really start. getting paid until late right cont. the years I mean at that point with that.

money didn't you think like if they hurt. their ACL they would give them like a. prosthetic they would just like cut. their leg in half and give them like a. cybernetic knee that give him a blade. yeah that's I'm saying why not it's got. to be someone's got to be sneaking that. in pretty soon yeah sooner or later. there's going to be an NFL player with. blades right you know those are like. $20,000 those blades wait what kind of. blades that's. it yeah yeah like man that thing cost an. arm and a leg. when you say.

BL when you say blazes what do you mean. it's like that like carbon like. spring yeah why why 20,000 I would have. guessed 300,000 really yes I thought it. be like if you're pricing a leg price. the leg a lot of these people their legs. are falling off for different reasons. they can't afford $220,000 spring spring. Springs there's got to be that dude. diabetes he's like blad getting.

banisters banister I would assume cost. 20,000 for somebody to install a. Banister in your leg Yeah 20,000 is not. springing a leg Carpenter out here and. measuring you up but it's just you. just's off he's off an inch it's just a. carbon fiber thing with AER on the top. drunk on the job using the wrong size. screw just using your uncle put your. those blades have to be sh expensive. dude iort can't be more than a.

motorcycle though blow the whistle on. are they letting these dudes uh play. with regular people like in the Olympics. and stuff I I don't think so I think. there was a big controversy there was I. think it almost happened I'll tell you. what they're letting other people play. where it's not very exactly. exactly dude yeah some dude with blades. was in long jump or triple jump and he. [ __ ] smoked everybody really yeah was. even like an athlete he's like I could. do something with how have I never heard. about these blades well you remember the. Oscar pastorious yeah he was the first. one he was a sprinter from South Africa.

that had ited and then he shot his wife. his wife misplaced one of his blades she. come out of his blades she came out of. the bathroom and he was like where's my. second blade said who's in there yeah. better not oh I hope it's not my wife it. was like the end of The Terminator. dragging himself along the shot his wife. and self-defense that's he claim he. claimed it was an accident and I think. got away with it no he got he got yeah. he got I'm pretty sure she was like. against the bathroom wall like trying. get out the window they confiscate your. blades like when you're a drug dealer.

they take your car yeah you can't take. your blades confiscating your. blades he Shanks those things up dud. runs runs at. you dude just. flying Double. Dragon D imagine like 50 years later. he's hobbling back to get his bag with. like his suit jacket and his blades. anymore yeah you get Shaw Shank right. out of there dude put a couple little.

shovels on. there cops are trying to chase him don't. take my blads please know was my wife I. didn't know it was my. wife damn dude [ __ ] so sorry that. happened to. him what happened in the Parks oh yeah. shows you would have liked it we played. yeah the shows were fine. um played uh poker me and beaser last. Sunday night dude beaser beaser at a.

card table is a problem he's a nightmare. why he just talks [ __ ] to everybody at. the table talks to the dealer he's like. come on give me a card damn it he loses. every. time I'm not saying I don't I lose every. time too we played poker he we found. like a a dollar or. $3 uh blind poker table so it was as. cheap as you can yet yeah these dudes. sitting there were the saddest dudes.

I've seen some of them were cool but. there was a couple that I was looking at. like God damn yeah this is dark they're. playing like $10 hands of poker at 3 in. the morning yeah just like [ __ ] dud. would be like I'm all in and stand up. and be like oh yeah it was crazy it was. tough stuff dud you want to know how. much. money I was drunk I was like I don't. give a [ __ ] the casino just paid me more. [ __ ]. dude I remember Playing House money I.

think the first time I did a casino was. with you in do we go where was it. Central PA somewhere and I was like this. is going to be sick dude we're going to. a casino Casino suck you thought the. ladies going to come out in front of you. like Dad. Dy no it's a so sad casinos are. disgusting yeah and sad and if you we. had the buffet ticket it takes them 35. minutes to bring you a free drink when.

you're losing $200 an hour so long it's. insane dude they would let us drink and. then what what's that they would let us. drink at the casino what what do you. mean the casino I you keep saying the. casino sorry I was just that angry at. you but I've been dealing with this guy. all weekend he says he the way he just. he's like the skinny guy with the. mustache I'm like I don't know you got. to help more than that. where in what capacity what are we. talking about. he's like we got done seeing a movie he. was like was that the de guy in the.

movie that won the. awards and then he sto he goes no he. talked and I was like what what do you. mean and then he doesn't he doesn't say. he just repeats it he goes the de guy in. the movie that won the award no he. talked I don't know what what the. question is where where where couldn't. you. drink at the C every oh my God he said. they were baring he said they were. barring performers from all from. drinking before they performed oh we had.

to buy our own drinks yeah that's what. it was oh they didn't stock the they. didn't stock the green they was drink. more than one beer like the guy said. that which it never came to fruition at. all remember when he said that he was. like Fair the guy before we go on he's. like yeah you're not allowed you're. allowed to have two drinks an hour in. this casino and oh everybody yeah that's. what and I we were like where and he was. like Casino Casino rule immediately we. went to chicken and pizza and Dr fuing. 10 beers in an hour like what is this.

guy talking about does he me from the. service I I don't know he and also I. guess they held your fridge back your. personal green room fridge yeah there. was nothing get the [ __ ] out of here. then they were like if you want drinks. you can buy them and it was like all. right that's kind of weird yeah yeah. casinos are [ __ ] and then a bunch of. people that I knew were there so they. all came back to the green room and they. were like Security's all over this the. Fire Marshall was Furious you're not. allowed to have this many people back. here it was like shut the [ __ ] out okay. yeah I feel like there's there's that.

yeah it was it was an aggressive the guy. walked in immediately he was like you. got a lot of guy fans huh a lot of guys. in the audience who it's like yeah. that's good yeah yeah you get all all. Stadium of. girlss are you there's those guys. nothing trer they've been like living in. their parents basement for a long time. and they finally get a job and then it's. like they look it's like they join the. Marines the who I feel like those guys. Shane fans are the no no the guy the guy. like the guy managing that backstage.

area is like someone like this is the. first job you feel like he's had in a. while fully. committed I was like I wonder if they've. had how new this is yeah yeah have they. not have a performer that drinks yeah. sticks is there in a week dude they. better get ready true they're just toll. booth operators with something to prove. you know they got nothing else in their. life so like this is my [ __ ] time to. shine I'm going to be the sheriff of. this green room I'm going to ruin. someone's [ __ ] day yeah I'm going. hold back light there's jerks yeah they. measuring your beer being like well.

you're down 4 in down there is that your. first though yeah there was a fridge. there was a fridge in the green room. with like sodas and Waters so when. people came back started drinking it and. he was like those sodas and Waters are. for the staff oh my I was like dude I. see two people drinking a diet coke [ __ ]. off man that's CRA I just sold this out. twice can we have two diet CES I sold $9. million worth of beer yeah I just built. you another parking garage [ __ ] face get. me a beer think they be yeah they they. indulge everybody's things too it's like.

that's how it was Long Island Man. gracious the [ __ ] Paramount the owner. of the par this guy rolled out the. carpet yeah that guy was perfect oh my. God he was he was making his handmade. cocktails himself and making us we had. lamb chops after inh Island Paramount. Long Island Long Island Long Island this. guy was the best he was the [ __ ] man. awesome then a little Speak Easy so. after the show just like a private group. of us sit down and have a dinner like a. king's table yeah bring up lamb.

lollipops and all you could drink [ __ ]. Parks is what I'm saying I could get. into. it I can get into like they're like a. Handler they're like no coca-colas and. you're like than you sir I I that was. but the one the having security follow. me around the entire time was nice yeah. there was one guy that was it was a. bodyguard the whole time that's kind of. nice and he was like no picture cuz. people would ask for pictures he'd be. like no pictures I'd be like dude they. can get pictures and he was like I got. you don't worry he was like I'll be the. dick you can [ __ ] I you don't have to.

be the dick good cop bad cop I'll be the. dick you be the ball a man no that guy. was [ __ ] awesome. though the poker guys were they were. very scared of me really cuz I had a. bodyguard standing and they were like we. were wondering who security was for dude. and then you were like $6 all they. thought it was for beer they thought. security from the casino was like about. we got to keep an eye on this guy he was. like a Polish Diplomat dude beer was so.

funny he'd be like he'd call dudes and. these dudes would taking it so serious. he'd be like I don't think you have. it they flip over a [ __ ] Full House. be like. yeah damn. it I don't think you have. it I never played poker I know I never. played poker like that also neither has. he I guarantee so be using that language. put chips in like for the blinds in the. beginning but it's like $3 you're like. all have is five like just throw it in.

we'll give you the change it's like all. right I've never played I'm trying I. think they were mad more cuz beaser was. there before me for like an hour sewing. seeds of they hated you took my car yeah. they hated us you took my car you took. my [ __ ]. car be like straight they'd be like no. that's not a. straight like damn it I thought I had. that straight what was it hold him did. they have three yeah it was easy I knew.

how to play hold him but like uh God how. tempting was it to se Security on beeser. I couldn't do that to the Sweet bees. what about just I did I do get I get I. recognize it's a shitty thing I do where. I turn on bees in those situations I'm. like bees shut the [ __ ] up dude yeah and. he's like what dude gives a [ __ ] I'm. like all right you're right but you're. being annoying to these [ __ ] guys. no he can be tough he can be tough in a. lift he gets drunk he gets in a lift.

it's that exact attitude he does that in. the casino yeah it's where he'll get. drunk in the lift and be like how do you. drive this thing fing turn up the. tbes. t-one when that 10th out all hits yeah. he gets Rowdy Lam Mer's Lam Mer's family. came jbre and his mom came got to meet. Lam Mer's Mom that's nice awesome how. many beers did she have none you guys. you guys smoked the blunt though you. that's nice am I allowed to say that all.

right yeah that was fun what was the. grubs grub s was was actually nice they. did hook us up with the grub Lami. getting greedy with the grub dude I've. never se he was ordering he was hitting. the rich rich Voss he would order a meal. at the club and one to. go he carried then he did you bring. those wings all the way back to. Philly come on man he ordered wings. after the show the show was at 7:30 we. stayed at the casino you left at like 1.

yeah he's been carrying wings with him. the entire time all the way back to. Philly all the way back to helium in. Philly on Sunday night did you eat him. did you eat him at Helium atat him in. the car. nice ja was awesome hanging with jabis. is a treat godamn it's two lares yeah. yeah it's two lares and they're both. doing the same thing like the waiter. will come over and they'll be like um I. would like. um.

um sorry I ordered like that earlier I'm. sorry about that it's okay it's fine God. that's. awesome yeah that is a. treat yeah it was a fun weekend I was so. sad though well you're the Cassini yeah. I was sad EP s it was raining out sad. dude was there something else at Play. Yeah Yeah Chris let's get into.

it is there something else you know. about tell them. yeah yeah who you with in San Diego uh. Matt and Nate Marshall nice I'll be in. labe come down really yeah oh you got to. come down it's only like a 2our drive. right I'll tell you there's a top secret. awesome person coming on Friday let's go. I'm very excited that's [ __ ] sweet oh.

so gay for this person yes I'll guess um. and of course the teams dude teams are. coming tier one operators the tier one. operators the community wants to show us. around they want to show us around. Coronado oh please show us where the. steals operate was nervous to go give me. the obstacle I want to give me the do. one pushup no don't I want to run the. obstacle course I'm going to go sit in. the ocean let's hold let's hold a log. and run true true hold the yeah hold the. boat a boat boat or a lot 45° I'll tell.

you what that salt water starts to burn. on your skin It Gets In Your Eyes goggin. both your no are going to go straight in. your ass it's very cold to stay in there. for like yeah but I feel like I would. dominate my like Superior after a while. he would see my work at the he would see. you you'd be like American Sniper they'd. call you old man at first yeah going. through you're like old you're too old. to go through training what are you. doing here and then they'd quickly. realize you're the American Sniper MD's. got a flipper dude he's [ __ ] he's an. Aquaman.

aqu man can't swim to same his life I. love to swim but my I'm very actually. slow under maybe because you were on. that skin board and then shallow nasty. [ __ ]. sh swimming I'm I'm like a [ __ ] I'm like. Geo dude in the pool dude yeah but. that's good for Navy SEAL stuff true. being able to shred where the water. meets the land oh yeah you be a good. operator I'm aian you're an amphibian. I'm amphibian I'm amphibian you might be. a frog man dude a frog man dude I am.

going to pay no I'm not I'm going to. tell the Navy Seals I'm going to be like. dude pump up Matt be like dude you. remind me of a seal I mean you would. seriously be like yeah you could tell me. that now and they'll say it to me I'll. still go yeah I know. definitely he got the operator there's. no break in that part of my psyche it's. completely intact and it won't break. that was one of my favorite arguments. that was that was for real like my. favorite argument we were at Helium one. night after the show and Matt was like I. could have a [ __ ] sick Soldier I'd be. like I like dude no you.

couldn't I would of my identity just got. lobotomized it was so good just be like. yeah I guess if I did wake up every day. at 4: and work out I could have been a. Navy SEAL 12 years I was like you and me. live together you can't did you whack. off on an air. mattress I couldn't have like I couldn't. deal with the structure of a job. yeah that's my whole argument I was like. you and me are losers I would read the. tone of an email and be like I don't.

[ __ ] like this I'm out of here dude. dude I get emails constantly and I can't. read them it's like my money managers. that are like here's what we need here's. your Investment Portfolio and I'm like. I'm not I'm never going to read this. I'll sign it but do you have to read. emails this is Navy Seal for sure I. don't know not doubting there's a dream. dying for me right now I'm telling. you I'm telling you you're going to see. that they ring that Bell Dude I don't. ring it [ __ ] some guys be holding the.

Bell I'm beating everybody to it yes. [ __ ] that yeah be tough that's a tough. life you got to be wired different you. just you're a crazy person yeah yeah I. can't wait to come back with some. messaging on these guys like there's no. way they're going to be normal dudes. I've hung out with them before are they. good normal dudes you hung out with one. of them in La yeah at the Chargers game. a there was seven hot hunks in there. yeah there was some hunks oh he was the. short guy right yeah the short guy was a. seal yeah yeah yeah he was a great guy. he's a man all right stand corrected. he's not going to be there though.

unfortunately Bosa he's deployed Bosa is. not going to be there both I wish yeah. he's the man yeah yeah deo's gonna be. nice it's gonna be awesome might get. tatted youy West Watson's tat dude we. should definitely both get Frogman. tattoos dude I although I think that's. actually a thing that's. my I don't mean to disrespect the teams. on that one it's like gang tattoo and. you're not in it yeah they know you're. joshing they better know little ones on. our ankles if I'm might be on stage and. see a couple red.

dots it. down cover. me it's time to show our skills Matt for. real could you carry this how many of. all right let's say let's say let's say. there's a building yeah how many of us. in the building do you think it would. one team of Navy SEALs so like let's say. Five Guys trying to clear out a building. how many of us would it take to get them. you're saying to stop five Navy Seals. yeah do they have are we armed or they.

are we get. guns are we we have the same guns and. seals we have the same kit basically we. I have the bombarder package nobody. teaches us how to use. anything what's the numbers is it five. on five or no I'm saying how many of us. so like just could they clear out a. hundred of us we just be like Taliban. yeah you need I just imagine them coming. up the stairs being like. sponge sponge. dude the guy who the guy who pops his.

head out is great we would need an. overwhelming Force dude that would be. really World War Z then we need Canon F. yeah we would need a lot to try to run. at them dude a movie your loyalty to. this podcast. now true the dogs ver the. seals I think the dogs get wiped dude a. comedy I think the squad gets wiped d a. comedy about. you'd be on a horse with a little scope. like not looking.

good. Richard we would [ __ ] them up in the. comments though even if they won we'd be. like dude they were so [ __ ] gay you. see how gay they. [Laughter]. were damn it how many Lam mer and jabr. versus the the teams Lam mer You'. probably. think if I if I know one guy with. confidence through the roof it's. Lami he's very athletic though yeah. they're ath they're thick. boys throw the guns if you just chew and.

shield the first two the second two. talking hand to hand combat that's a. different story those guys get overhyped. hand to hand oh yeah I'm one strike WIP. out that was actually just a take from. uh CH sunnon has a podcast yeah I. watched it dude he he's funny as [ __ ]. he's nuts dude yeah he's so funny he. attacked hubman really he calls him. hubman good he attacked him dude like. flamed him you're tip of the spear on.

the hubman War I thought it was funny. like hubman yeah yeah hman I mean dude I. yeah I have nothing against the guy just. it's it is funny to make fun of it's. funny to make fun of a Science Guy yes. and obviously it's a tale's oldest time. yeah the funniest guy to make fun of is. the guy who's talking about science. especially when they shed their skin and. get like jacked good one. D well now that they're using like. [ __ ] steroids and [ __ ] it's kind of. like thrown it off hilarious dude like. dude Jack sence camine.

receptors like dude yeah let me see the. back of your. boxers yeah when I hear big words like. that I go straight to the back of those. jockey imagine someone kneeling behind. you to them c yeah let me see your solar. plantars how.

dude would rock us dude he's. huge I know getting pants and tablet. topped in gra SCH you got to change. neighborhoods it's over I'm have a Viv. memory we got someone with it we're. still boys to this day talking penis out. Oris out T it was gym day brother it was. gy day brother easy to get down there. could be a boner in there too you got it. was tough time gym class. there's nowhere to hide that B it's not. like those nice pleed khakis I told you.

I used to display when I was younger you. when I was in grade school I'd get a. boner and stand up and I thought it was. funny to like stand up show bone in. sweatpants obviously you were right show. bone that was I've said it before we. convinced this kid that he in order to. be in our club he had to go get get a. boner walk to get tissues and stand in. front of the class as soon as he was up. there like yo what are you doing d. [Laughter]. boner we get boners like flash like. what's good my cousin be like nice check.

it out we only had we only had uh what. we used do the we used to do the wiggle. you get a boner and tuck it low and then. go dude yeah. yeah the string yeah you just be sure. when your boys like I'm boned up right. now in class damn I never pulled the. string that's a good way to do it I only. just went with the wiggle you be like yo. magic look at this magic I'm doing I'm. going to continue to do that. now can't wait to do. that now I just got to get. hard first time in.

weeks I was hitting the Audio I was. hitting the audio a island yeah really I. thought you were off the I'm off no. visual Bo that's my thing I I don't want. to go for what I do traditionally is I. just like push myself unnecessarily just. to prove that I can do it I'm looking. for a functional Solution that's the. team's in you that's true push yourself. you break yourself true that's what I'm. trying goggin I mean Bas can't hurt me. dude you can't hurt me dude [ __ ] so.

I've been trying to find a healthy. medium dude not to go two extremist. either I'm like on the porn sick on the. porn or I try to do like I can't deny my. Sexual Energy I don't think that's. healthy either so the audio has been a. healthy medium I'm serious dude no I. agree with I know you're serious so am I. I agree with godamn it I agree with it. can't my Sexual Energy you can't dude. I've. tried release your Sexual Energy then. I'll start doing when I'm not even horny. that's the problem then it becomes a. thing and it's a fun nighttime treat you.

go oh [ __ ] I didn't whack off today I'm. going to whack off before bed that's the. problem there's that day never comes. where I didn't whack off oh yeah I'll. hit like three and be like oh yeah nice. I'll never hit I beat the energy right. out of me oh dude three five and then. just you take like a day off no days off. brother do you do audio every day no. only when need it so I I get to where. need it and then I give myself s a boost. so I was doing it but the whole moral of. the story was was I was holding it all.

in and then I'd have sex with my wife. and dude I would yeah that's still fun. I'm going to pop I'm going to pop yeah. but I finally got one where I was able. to like hang for like damn are you. throwing Verlander the what the ropes. long ropes my rope was lacking cuz I was. on the audio all weekend my rope wasn't. crazy but yeah when I'm like full when. the C the kunini serpent fully contained. in the basket dude the ropes are like. they're gross dude. serpents fully contained I'll now.

release my Sexual Energy on my. wife holy [ __ ] J you're [ __ ] nuts I'm. telling you dude I found a happy medium. I was always wondering why I believe you. people compare these two on like oh our. podcast like it sounds just like Matt no. Matt's there's a difference I don't know. man it's the same plane I know what. you're talking about same saying. something insane and looking around like. what yeah. exactly exactly now I get it but his is.

much his is much more this is just. raw this is just a raw insane person. he's he's coming from a book of choice. yes it's matter you don't feel like you. don't feel like it's curated you yeah. no don't listen to them dude they're. breaking your spirit there's nothing we. can do to stop his. Spirit true we've had. talks there's I'm going deeper in you. have to I know dud I'm already looking. up a secondary podcast so it's for your.

your. suicide yeah I'm right from the he won. you promise yeah for now yeah 10 get. there you to you're a pessimist you have. to read schopenhauer no I'm an optimist. oh nice yeah that's what's up about. everyone else. yeah of course something good happened. to. them I knew things were going to go well. for them. I'm telling you you have to read Conor. you have to read schopenhauer yeah he.

lays out a cogent argument against. killing yourself he's like obviously. it's a rational solution to all your. problems because you're not doing it's. not doing anything because that urge. that tortured you just lives on in. everybody else forever and ever yeah I'm. more just like why I mean why do that. because then you're just not doing. anything that's what I'm saying yeah. yeah might as well hang around that's. that's yeah you might as well hang out. yeah yeah that's Shop's thing Shop's. like obviously nothing wrong with it but. also like dude don't be fooled thinking. it would be like to instead of kill. yourself just meth storm that's what I.

said got [ __ ] it dude I said let's go. down to Arkansas get a shitty trailer. you don't care about your you care. sexualizing the need for meth you know. what I mean so what like you have start. to sucking dick and stuff you go oh. heroin Su for people suck di for heroin. yeah yeah that's what I'm saying there's. two very dangerous drugs whereas if you. just play the cocaine route you can just. talk about guys on the brink of oblit. like true we're saying if you're ready. to kill yourself why not just turn your.

life into an absolutely dangerous [ __ ]. show yeah yeah so where where did. sucking dude's dicks for meth come into. the equation. because I was saying do meth he was. saying that could lead to sucking dick. yeah yeah perfect but you're also you're. going to kill yourself so so you kill. yourself right before the first dick you. suck and I think Matthew while the. Dick's in there bow his dick off too and. the jaw locks like a pit throw him yeah. and shoot yourself in the throat like. you were just Beast up on meth you. wouldn't be sucking dicks you probably.

just try to like rob a bank. unsuccessfully yeah rob a bank would be. sick I would try to travel the world and. just disappear and then die and no one. would know they wouldn't be able to. trace me back yeah you say that but if. you're depressed you're not going to. arrange a trip dude a big one where meth. comes in true paying for where the meth. com paying for lessons for one of those. Wing suits asking Shane for $50,000 for. a helicopter ride go up to the like the. Swiss you ever see these videos dude. where they're like dodging trees by like. a foot and it comes out and they just go.

they go for like an hour it's nuts damn. they they float forever you could fly. yeah you fly during that time you have a. yeah you got a decision should I just. [ __ ] buck into a mountain or let this. ride right to the ground or you could. pull shoe I'll do it next week I'll do. it next week yeah you're have a hell of. a time then when day you see a guy in a. [ __ ] hand liner and you're like there. he. is this is hilarious. just grab on dude. there's I don't care if I live or if I.

die grab me. like there's a uh there's a video of two. two Wings suit dudes that one guy has to. go over like the Golden State Bridge and. One D is supposed to go under and his. whole family their families are like on. the bridge one guy successfully goes. under the guy on the top just caught. like a a wind or. something right into the [ __ ] side. his whole family just watch float down. to the ground yeah that's so there's. other options speedboat speedboat.

accident those are pretty fun speed boat. R fast ones that flip up yeah flip up. and the guys Skip Along the water for a. while yeah if you're going to go yeah. but also I think there's a aspect of it. that's like they're just sick of. excruciating mental pain so like do. something physically painful they're. like brother I don't want to do that. yeah for sure if we're talking honestly. that's what I'm saying that's why you. got to take the drugs yeah take the. drugs just do heroin block the yeah and. then jump out of plan and then yeah then. fall out of a twostory building and. break your legs it was a priest this is.

it I'm going to jump priest in like. Spain or something attached himself to. like 50,000 helium balloons yeah I saw. that what he was in Brazil or yeah. Brazil or something maybe was Argentina. did his wife just die or something no he. was trying to raise money was he up he. uped he absolutely. up yeah he was trying to raise money but. he was also like a parachutist and like. trained he thought something was going. to happen as they he gets to a certain.

elevation I think if they start popping. he could dislocate you know disengage. and then take a parachute down dude they. don't they go up pretty [ __ ] high. yeah I don't know his remains at se yeah. they he died yeah he just suffocated at. altitude he probably did proba went too. high parachute he could have just jumped. maybe he could I think he hit the. [ __ ] I'm out of here trying to get. the he's probably up there like I could. unbuckle.

this up music. playing yeah going up as high as the. opposite of jumping over the bridge just. [ __ ] going up as high as possible. that's scary that's kind of that's. definitely a good way to go and just. slowly go as high as you can slowly. fixate like less L you could do like the. [ __ ] Red Bull guy that jumped out as. high the highest I've ever spin just. never deploy a parachute did he die no. that guy lived but he almost got caught. in like a flat spin or something I catch. him no no no there's no one else up.

there he was [ __ ] Iron. Man going to catch. him take it easy basketball C you. [ __ ] a lot of those guys have like. teams that like film photograph he was. like in space he jumped out of like a. moon capsule was crazy yeah did he hit. it no seen that guy before eventually. that guy no he steps it's hilarious how.

fast he goes as soon as he steps out. just like yeah it's crazy there's no air. this like eight years ago ripping yeah. godam how'd he survive if he was not. pulled a parachute eventually. oh what the [ __ ] it's all right I think. we're going to switch over yeah let's go. to the patch what hour 21. minutes oh that's it I thought it was. longer we got to go get [ __ ] up yeah. you guys got to go do are you garbage. yeah a drink for doing it guys yeah. thanks for for having us guys it's been.

so. fun you're going to be in La yeah you. should come down to I'm coming all right. nice I'm coming it's going to be good. I'm a bees. there that's yeah thank. you bye.