Ep 439 - Poky Puppy (feat. Mark Normand)
wow wow Wes. hello got a lot of chyia cured at that. City MD oh nice they do good with that. yeah oh jeez sorry it's an Urgent Care. Urgent Care you you want to start over. you want no I mean it's out there not. recently years ago in my day yeah they C. cured your chyia one pill knocked it out. I was supposed to have it and I didn't. have it someone called me like you have. it and I was like I went to the doctor. like bro you're good dude yeah men don't.
get STDs that easily I think it is. harder for guys to get it one time I got. [ __ ] in my dick that'll get you yeah. yeah and that hurt God yeah yeah that's. like leprosy it was bad it was a. throbbing pain you had [ __ ] in your dick. yeah in the dick hole how much [ __ ] you. need in your dick to go like need to go. to the very little teeny bit tiny amount. like a. BB yeah how much [ __ ] was in her [ __ ]. tons who said it was a lady. true sorry for us to assume.
so you anal the lady and your dick got. [ __ ] up yeah and I I didn't know what. it was I was cuz it hurt right right. away you know when you an STD it takes. like two weeks yeah or something to kick. in this was right away and I went to the. doctor and they were like well you. passed all the tests you might have [ __ ]. in your dick that was a diagnosis that's. a citymd yeah H you might have some [ __ ]. in your. [Laughter]. dick know that was a thing that stinks. but they give you a pill and it goes in. and kills the [ __ ] what yeah it's pretty.
impressive I need that right now so I. don't have the [ __ ] so I can yeah need. that pill to kill all the [ __ ] in my. body I would take it every day I don't. know I kind enjoy a nice dump dude true. but neutralizing would be powerful yeah. I got a [ __ ] like hold on actually [ __ ]. it let's go I'll take this pill. dissolves dissolves the [ __ ] that's true. road trips yeah yeah comedy clubs oh God. especially in the city that's the worst. oh the seller you get into the seller. and you're like [ __ ] I got to take a. [ __ ] and I'm here for the next 5 hours.
to [ __ ] at the village underground then. you have to [ __ ] next to an audience. member who saw you then you come out. they're like hey big fan yeah you pass. the toilet paper nice brutal dang yeah I. just dumped out at uh JFK this week did. you really two days ago I took [ __ ] at. JFK no regular the regular packed. [ __ ] bathroom dude foot to foot with. a [ __ ] immigrant I heard a dude in. there taking piles together. International [ __ ] too it's a whole.
there's always a [ __ ] foreigner like. washing his face brushing his teeth dud. every time doing the nose. hairs I heard a dude handling business. in an airplane bathroom the other like. like sitting there I took May so I had a. two-year-old like to take a [ __ ] yeah so. I'm like sitting there like all right. get on the toilet and the guy was you. hear him going like I didn't realize cuz. I was getting it from like a. two-year-old's perspective dudes are in. there like moaning groaning oh yeah dude. the guy was you got to go headphones you. got to block out your own explosions I. couldn't I was in there that must be. going on the guy was on the phone he.
goes I'd like to ground swell with them. see if he can god dude literally moaning. I swear to God I'm not making it up I. want a business call being like yeah i'. like to get the leverage that is a power. move it was crazy dude but people like. that they've never it sounds like. they've never shipped before the shits. are so explosive in an airport crazy a. second 91 ton dude you think they were. stitched up like an African bride that's. what it feels like they were smuggling.
yeah yeah I love I love to see the boys. washing their face whole [ __ ] shaving. kid out on a disgusting JFK counter it's. an old Asian man doing jumping jacks in. front of the. mirror. ta yeah I was I was starled dude CU I. was she was like commenting on people's. shoes and [ __ ] like he has blue shoes. it's like dude chill yeah that's code. for you want to [ __ ] actually the last. thing you want to hear too don't do that. cuz I'm thinking that while I'm taking a. [ __ ] I'm like hopefully no one. recognizes me when I leave they see my. feet and hear me dumping yeah some be.
like he's it's the guy in the white new. boun like [ __ ] yeah no one even offered. up anything she was like offering like. talking about the people stuff next to. us not a single like friendly like haha. it just people just your daughter yeah. how old 2-year-old oh man three sorry. three she's a three-year-old yeah. hitting just like non-stop commentary on. everything that was occurring I was like. dude stop I don't know what I would do. stop I don't know I'd probably yeah I. guess you got to. laugh I'd come into the stall little. like watch out get you I'm going to [ __ ].
your dad I'm going to get you I'm going. to rape you and your dad I'm going to. rape you guys damn I'm going to [ __ ]. your dad a little trick yeah if my foot. touch your Dad's foot we have to have. sex so what do you do do you beine to. the stall you don't want her seeing any. random dong you just go right to the. stall it wasn't too bad can take in dong. I don't know a lady a girl little girls. can take in they have no idea what it is. they don't they truly don't dude they. start around three they start to kind of. like how come yours is different yeah. they around three they start asking. questions they start and they'll stare.
in a way that you're just like dude I. want to cut my dick off right now when. they're babies you pee and it's like. whatever in one day they just go you're. like all all right all right enough yeah. out we would sword fight me and my dad. yeah hell yeah that you do that yeah how. they do it over the shoulder too you pe. behind me you guys didn't do that real. you catch some dribble doing that dude. he was good he had a laser beam there's. no way you don't catch dribble on the. way out although you Outlast a kid your. piss is longer than kids oh yeah I was.
out of there so you were already out of. the firing zone my mom used to read me. books when I took [ __ ] sometimes that's. the best damn and I remember the very. last time being too old for it and be. like can you read one of those books and. she was like it was like for whom the. belt. to I'm on chapter 38 can you start from. page. 276 she's just holding your phone for an. audio. book yeah having a book right to you. while you're taking a dump it was nice. awesome it was one of those I forget.
what they're called it was like. cardboard books with like the gold oh. yeah yeah whatever those were I know. those I remember it it was like the. Pokey puppy or something damn what is. this I used to love the Pokey puppy this. is like 201 that just came to me I. haven't thought of that [ __ ] title in. forever I got Google what that looks. like Pokey puppy you got to get that put. that on there as your bathroom reader. the Poke I don't know that. one I never heard of that either yeah. the Pokey puppy the pokey little puppy. was the Pokey puppy up to dude don't.
worry about. it look at it with the cardboard and the. gold. binder yeah what I closed it. like look at that oh that's dude how. cute now I got Golden Book classic wow. that's what they were called I was. curious what they were called a little. golden book that's pretty fun that's a. good mom right there but I didn't I. didn't realize she's a school teacher oh. there you go she's used to it yeah true. is she out now she's retired she's out. she's [ __ ] good she won't get shot.
true she did get out before all the. shootings oh yeah oh yeah true yeah you. see there was a girl who got uh. misgendered and she's. like five it was like a Kindergarten. class and she got misgendered the. teacher got fired really they shoot the. teacher she got fired shot I bet she. must have been that teacher must have. been being aggressive I don't know like. you're a [ __ ] boy yeah apparently. went in and did like a how you doing. girl girls was a girl school was that.
easy yeah give it a goo wait said it was. all girl school and they got missed. possible she said not everyone here. identifies as a lady Jesus Christ well. then you can't be in the school yeah oh. school all girls that's crazy oh it was. a girl who was a tomboy I guess I'm a. tomboy I like to climb fces and play. sports with my dad don't dare you I. think Tom identifies as a tomboy I got a. slingshot I play with frogs.
I'm [ __ ] I'm a lesbian I'm. 10 I'm in the bullpen she's in the. bullpen dude yeah dude just getting. ready to get out there she's scissoring. you can't you got a guard. rail guard. rail yeah I think it it was in New York. yet was it New York that makes sense. seems like it this one says New York. teacher forced girl 9 years old to use. male pronouns causing Suicidal Thoughts. whoa wait who forced the girl to use Ma. PRS boy School the teacher that's why.
I'm wondering if it's the same I'm not. sure might be a different story uh it. was last month oh this was I think they. sued the. school oh man sued the school yeah yikes. what a bunch of losers That's crazy dude. yeah if you read if you watch any of the. old Disney movies now it's like a full. like essay on apologies about every. everything is like this look guys we. [ __ ] up but I got and I got the Tiger. Woods golf game you have to select your. identity your pronoun is in when you.
create a golfer you select your pronouns. what for real what you golf I he him. dude my guy's a boy that's you're right. my guy's Nate Marshall I created Nate. Marshall T. him I play Tiger Woods with Nate. Marshall so what how's the league work. if you identifies they them what's the I. don't know I don't know if they put you. I guess you just dominate women's gol. you could just join the LPGA and. dominate out drive Everybody by 200. yards there you. go yeah there's been there were who was. the uh P there was a a male powerlifter. who entered some sort of people done.
this a bunch of times but recently. another one came in there was a trans. woman who smashed the record then he. smashed the transwoman by like 150 lbs. walked away the transom was like that. guy is an [ __ ] he knows what he's. doing oh he just smashed the record. walked out like later that's pretty. funny [ __ ] the record before that was. another trans really yeah yeah I think. so be nice to break another trans his. record though yeah yeah progress we. should just trans League just have a. trans League trans league would be sick. dude trans league would be sick just. create a third League what's that the.
monar the monstar yeah say it into the. mic guard. rails the monstar guard rails the. Superstar the guard rail he's been going. yeah where have you been you've been out. toring big. shot you like I see all those pictures. you posted you're the funny man in the. group The Life of the Party yeah smoking. sigs he's doing this I'm not doing that. he's like yeah I smoke sigs I guess I'm. a little young to smoke smoke sigs.
but you know tour life yeah tour life it. was fun yeah you had a good time it was. nice get laid no no let me smell. thatf he was a girlfriend have a. wonderful girlfriend he's a beautiful. Habibi T he did not get laid Indian no. she's egyp Habibi Arab oh she is she's. Arab sorry no it's okay. Arab oh man Arabian it's all we going. one place yeah you know what I mean who.
even cares I did the pelaton today and. there was a lady who appeared to be I. would imagine she was mixed black and. white she did a classic rock ride the. whole time like can you believe I know. this song I was like take it take it. easy relax take it easy just Pink Floyd. Wish You Were Here it's like that's you. know [ __ ] hit song yeah it's not. crazy that it was like can you believe I. know this and it's like could be related. to George true.
Pelon how is that you got to get a. subscription yeah you got get it's. pretty nice I got one back there yeah. touch it in one try it it's nice you put. on the tunes it's pretty nice I like it. fun fact about pelaton their sales went. up when they raised the prices really I. love [ __ ] like that true Did you ever. play the game Mike's Bikes in college. you guys go to college for business we. to play a game called Mike's Bikes and. it was like it was just like a business. simulator where you could do like super. expensive bikes Middle Line super value. bikes and you had to run like a analysis.
of like how you did as a businessman we. had uh we this we had like a lot of. African exchange students there this one. guy would T he would try to name the. business he'd be like let's call it. really nice bikes like you can't call it. that and he like why. not really what you call it I I honestly. don't I don't I wish I remembered you. you came up with it it was a group Pro. no it was a group project I was I was. chilling working yeah I was chilling the. group R but yeah really nice. bikes I was like I don't know man like.
Chinese food restaurant number one. number one bikes golden number one best. bikes yes yes Happy Food Billy Happy. Food. nice that's going to go away soon man. it'll be a thing of the past there's one. there's a foreign barber shop on the. street that clearly Google translated. the name what's it called so it's called. she goes to your. head they have no idea what that means. no idea she goes to your head yeah I'm.
going to go down there and get a do is. it all dudes work I have no idea it's. I've never been in it's c yeah sway why. does she go to your head I don't know. she goes to your head how can she go. through your. head how can she she goes through your. head you got to watch out for those guys. they don't listen so you'll go like just. just scissor you know trim around the. sze and they just give you the same. thing every time I would like to go in. there and be like whatever you want to. do whatever you'd like to do I'll be C. it be fun to get whatever they'll just. buzz you yeah me that's what they like. Eastern Europeans yeah shave shave head.
who needs hair who needs hair why do you. have hair you. woman this is nice these screen Sabers. are nice this is nice what do you think. would happen if you went down there and. try to get them to shave your pubes like. can use just a little hit me just the. your pbes you to P I don't have to pull. my dick out just let me just hit me with. the belt line she give good head I think. for money I think for money they would. do it I think they would hair hair's. hair just wear sweatpants and just like. like pull down just like the scrum like. bro yo man [ __ ] man Welcome to the.
Jungle clean me up just a teeny bit yeah. hey see I'm going to Boseman Montana. this weekend really you doing that gigs. oh really well I blew my w all over the. all over the country so I was like 7 me. some new places yeah so we're doing some. blackbox and Boseman so that would be. awesome I can't wait just to see these. mountains yeah that would be cool I was. over I was just in Seattle and Vancouver. I've never been to Vancouver oh. Vancouver is awesome was [ __ ]. beautiful that's BC isn't it like. British columia perfect I mean it's a 6-.
hour flight we did it mhm but other than. that it's that was like the nicest City. really it was just beautiful dude it's. super expensive and super Asian that's. perfect that's what you need yeah it is. like the best places yeah Irvine. California as as hell Asians perfect you. drive through LA and right when you hit. Irvine the the roads are better it's. like immediate yeah you're not allowed I. think in Orange County they figured out. some thing with homeless people where. like they they pick them up and drop. them off somewhere else wow there some.
weird Town thing where like if the. homeless beds are full they have some. thing where they can literally pick up. homeless people in a van and drop them. off in like the Bay Area yeah I was. night I I went from Vancouver to Seattle. and the difference between America and. another country is I mean it's kind of. the same looking City it is and then. Seattle's just tense homeless people. everywhere graffiti trash everywhere. crazy America's [ __ ] gross and they. got heroin there too they have a heroin. problem but it's still better it's still. clean. yeah do they have like centers for them.
to go to or something oh yeah big needle. town it's coming for us we're going to. have the like hero gymnasiums the. what I used to be a bit of mine oh. really well I just go to seatt go you. got a heroin problem and you know your. biggest tourist. needle which by the way not that big no. space needle I thought it was going to. like Tower over the skyline not at all. I've been in it too it's like a small. Building compared to the skyscrapers M. [ __ ] maybe I saw at a bad angle no.
it's not not huge yeah if it's a big. building Toronto's got a nice Tower. Toronto what they got what's that they. got the Canada Tower pull it up right. isn't that what it's called they use. that like a better Space Needle is it. like is it a fun is there like a. functional use I have no idea what they. do obervatory deck yeah damn you see. people just passed out on heroin from. the top of. it it's coming we're going to have we're. going to have like the places you they. just like shepher them into inject them. and let them kind of board the Canada. you've seen it one Drake was sitting on.
yeah it's a better needle I would say. can's got a better needle than us damn. they're kicking our ass well Mar you. don't like that like Canada's needles. better are you wearing a joker no it's a. hair ban I just put her on my neck oh. god I didn't even notice that it's tough. to see lift your head up look up why you. wear a joker my here okay oh jeez I. thought you were on some extreme aggro. goth [ __ ].
dude black go who's the guy you look. like Mario Judah you are Mario Judah L. Mario what's his song again I can't sing. it oh right I forgot L will you sing it. for us I don't know it. oh guard rails hit. it did you break the chair. choker. choker oh. man gay is Batman villain the. choker Phoenix is The.
Joker don't be. gay why so. hetero yeah he is the best he's been the. best I think Heath I thought Heath was. overrated heed better than Heath yeah. dude. he I think he over walk I think he overw. walk he killed it he died from it yeah. but is it like death stuff though when. you die every's like that guy was the. best there is always that but that does. count I I also haven't seen it movie I. just think wiin better wait you haven't.
seen the wait you haven't seen the. [ __ ] The Dark Knight oh I saw in the. I must have seen the movie theat I think. Walkin was better I think Walkin was a. better movie he was too who was twisted. who was more Twisted I don't know but. wen's movie was better than the dark was. more emo I didn't like the emo aspect. yeah what was what was uh Heath more. just like circus like crazy psycho I'll. kill you all right yeah. unhinged I like Lam you're the resident. dork who which one. which Batman I think which one's better.
Joker hether. Walkin the whole Joker Wen better I. did that's a good that's that's big the. whole movie was about him to be fair. yeah it was about him was a supporting. role yeah so yeah I like the movie. better I like it it was a good movie a. deep dive into the the you know the. Joker psyche yeah but yeah I don't know. I feel bad Heath died do you think he. really died from that you think he was. just addicted to drugs I think he was. addicted it's drugs and then they like. no the role yeah the role wasn't that if.
you watch it again you're like all right. you're just a bad guy and a superhero be. like Thanos killed himself you're. like God damn I told him not to play. that role remember Jack Jack Nicholson. said that yeah about Heath Heath ler. they told him about Heath Ledger died. and he like there's a clip of him being. like I told him that's a tough. role what he just played it like Jack he. didn't even do anything different Jack.
he might be my favorite joker now that I. think about that's my favorite uh yeah. he was fun I hope I don't I hope Nick. doesn't use it but that's my favorite. Nick Mullen what's upz he's got a joke. about how the shooter in the Aurora. shooting wasn't an aurora where he. dressed up like The Joker he's like he. he dressed up like a joker and like we. all knew which Joker it was It was. obviously the heath Joker wouldn't it be. funny if he was the Jack neckl be like. sorry folks show's. over start shooting everyone like a. Tommy Gun like. Prince song.
playing sorry folks hope we figure that. whole problem out what shooting dude. just blasting into places and being. like yeah seems like it's getting bigger. it's ticking up yeah it seems like it's. up ticking and across like you know. trans are getting involved yeah that was. surprising everyone's getting involved. yeah I thought that was hate no has no. home here kick through the Kade has no. home here [ __ ] blast it dude hate had. a home they stopped one guy in Colorado. they got him before he they yeah yeah. before you shot it up yeah anytime they.
catch him before they shoot it up it's. clearly FBI just catfished to [ __ ]. schizophrenic man yeah they're like we. got another one we're doing our job it's. like you guys [ __ ] set them up Fair. Point Fair Point he's going assassin. we've been monitoring for months like. what have you been doing you've been. emailing him [ __ ] up [ __ ] yeah being. like you want to buy guns you get an. email from fbi.com what's the point. you're like yeah what's even the point. dude can I buy some guns off you guys. I'd like to be an FBI informant at. school and bully kids into ENT best dude.
you know what I mean just try to bully a. kid into shooting up a school see what's. good just whoop his ass every day pants. push down pants push down daily get the. teachers in on it be like nobody help. him when he tells his parents deny it. and then arrest him then arrest him life. in jail job. done yeah doing January 6 there's so. many informants like all the proud boys. the leader of the proud boys was like an. FBI they're all FBI dude every they did.
January 6 to arrest like three dudes. that'd be nice to do if they did the. Judas and the white Messiah on that. that'd be nice they really will they. should dude Gavin. mcginness the new Puerto Rican guy is. the Judas the one guy got out I think. the elk yeah face who uh Q on Shaman yes. yeah he got out they had that video of. him walking around peacefully with all. the cops like what's up bro yeah he's. doing standup is he got. yeah yeah no they had a video of him.
just walking around peacefully through. the Capal and like picking stuff up and. they were like well what the where the. [ __ ] was this yeah so I guess somehow. that let him out cuz they were like he. didn't break in they like oh they that's. the thing they actually oh they open the. door and had walk door and let him in. it's like he Ram the door down with his. horns yeah that was it that was a shame. that whole thing now we got some space. some distance on January 6 we can talk. about it you know well it was another. one like two weeks ago what happened. Tennessee yeah yeah they stormed in.
Tennessee oh yeah train train people. stormed it trains are just copying white. nationalists school shootings. insurrections y for real dicks so the. the trans the. trans the trans Capital yeah twice I. think what two different capitals I. think they like put on a drag show. everyone had to let them they started a. brunch they T kids made. $20,000 yeah they brought in. kindergarten class to watch them yeah.
they read him poke. puppy that must have been terrif were. they scared everybody was scared came in. like oh yeah they they start doing like. bomb drills you know they do the nuclear. drills they should do it for like a. trans Invasion what would what position. would you assume you got to play dead do. you get big on them you got to try to. play dead you can't get big dude they. fight they hate that oh they're big too. I am not a. man so you don't get big on him hit me I. dare you put your [ __ ] hands on me.
would you take a knee would you take a. knee just fcking I forgot how fun that. trans voice is that guy yeah that. there's a clip of this it's an old one. this big guy big big trains these guys. are filming him and he's like tearing up. a trump sign and they're like oh big man. and he's like I am not a man the guy. filming goes I am not a. man so [ __ ] funny and they wasn't he. like 55 no who the guy filming maybe the.
the trans was in his probably looks like. he's late 20s oh really thought he just. look like a [ __ ] kid in like fish. Town yeah he was like a chubby white guy. well fat he was a fat a fat white guy. with like Joker hair he had like green. hair I think yeah they needed they were. short about 50 G's of realizing their. ultimate goal yes that stinks but dress. totally like a man I remember it he's. wearing like a jean jacket or like a. jean vest and jeans and he's he's a big. guy riing up a drum sign like oh big man.
he's like I am not a man yeah [ __ ] you. they had the hair like cat they had the. hair like Kathy from Dilbert kind of. though it was like like a jean jacket. setup it just looked like the Kathy from. Dilbert you mey you never see like a. little drag queen it's always a giant. dude andig Queens they're all like 6. eight yeah they're huge they are [ __ ]. huge dude yeah you never see like a. little Asian drag queen I think they get. paid. a whole.
island that you can go to good point. yeah I think I think they I think they. don't have to they don't have to dance. and Showboat they can just set up shop. Yeah clean up with the sailors yeah true. like mermaids for the sailors they. really are Mill Sirens dude you stuck. down there you spend a decade in. Thailand you go holy [ __ ] what time is. it yeah oh [ __ ] I'm. 48 I got to go home I forgot about my. family in England those all British.
dudes it's all British dud the Brits. look at that's [ __ ] Li she IM if you. were into trans pre- internet and then. you ran across a lady boy on a on a you. know Army tour oh you'd be in you'd be. like this I found my thing you didn't. even know about them yeah unicorn you're. going I I that was a hallucination. exactly you see weird things out at Sea. and sometimes on the port because we. have the privilege of the internet you. can find your thing alone quietly behind. closed doors I Still Haven't Found What.
I'm Looking For on the internet my. thing looking just me. scrolling yeah you're like what Lam mer. and a. joker God I hope that's not it yeah dude. if it is it is if it is I'd be. unstoppable yeah he's right here me and. the May started dating and having sex I. me it's over God honestly dude it's. really just the moment of insertion once. you guys got over that no problem you'd. get a sitcom immediately. honey I'm home you have you have to.
listen to Lam Mer's giggle dude me and. Lam mer would than that we would not be. good as a couple why not look at the. hair just Xbox GrubHub that sounds like. heaven I would double what I'm already. doing he's cute he is a cutie and he is. be an enabler he would be an enabler. he'd be yeah we'd both be each other's. fucking' be feers true' be two. feeders be crazy two whales yeah you'd. be down at the health clinic for [ __ ] on. your dick dick [ __ ] on constant oh my.
God both us that constant [ __ ] [ __ ] in. our dicks oh yeah well who's the bottom. is the question bottom feeder it' be UFC. whoever loses bottom. feeder true we'd have to do best three. UFC oh yeah I can't I can't take flash. Knockouts yeah that hurts that hardly. counts dude that hurts right yeah it's. not like a long haul I can't believe you. guys beat me today though I watched. we've been playing we've been studying. dude but then you saw what happened I. know yeah both times but then now we I. did best of three series with Matthew.
and Lam mer both of them won game one. decision though that's different. decision was crazy that's grueling yeah. that was tough that's hard termination. especially at the buzzer I had you. [ __ ] dead you made it though yeah. that was a big win man and with Nate. Diaz that's tough to beat yeah but I. want you to go to the ground you know I. don't want any sort of stipulation I. want to start if the fight goes to the. ground I want to go to the ground you. can't it's first round tell guaranteed. but I could learn it's very very easy. I'll tell you how I think so I could. learn I don't even want to tell you guys. it's the easiest you guys are missing. like one.
button it bothers me so much you haven't. figured it out well you guys don't. grapple at all it's all all striking. well that's cuz I can't they don't know. how we lose we lose right away got it. yeah I tell myself every week I'm like. I'm going to spend just like just one. hour a week get an Xbox three minutes of. Googling to figure out how to do this I. know dude but it's so much more fun the. excitement dude yeah it's fun it's fun. it's a good time we have a good time dud. we almost button stick too so I I would. say we wiped the rec button doesn't the. button doesn't stick you're still. throwing elbows with the other. controller that button sticks too you. have two bag.
controll no you button spaz and you hold. down. RB I know you'll see me in the corner. just throwing knees yeah dude but those. elbows in close work they do but dude it. does help I need that jab I need to I. need distance you know I need to I need. to establish distance dog we were close. to a big one for you Cheeto Vera almost. did the Pod today damn he had to leave I. was going to surprise you with Cheeto oh. that would have been so excited English. yeah oh [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah very funny.
too that'd be awesome he speaks yeah ACC. very funny English he's a beast yeah. almost those guys dang I love those guys. they're the best dudes of all time guys. yeah it's such a grueling process. there's dudes in gyms that are just so. if you were like [ __ ] around with them. like you got to be a pro fighter they. like nah man yeah like it's such a. grueling life dude yeah it's horrible. even try to become a black beler or like. good enough to like compete in Atlantic. City locally you got to be like nasty. dude yeah yeah and they all hate it like.
you talked to you ever hear Nate talk. about it no it's crazy Nate like they. did an interview where they were like. how come he's like does your dad come to. your fights and he's like no I don't. he's like I don't want people he's like. I don't invite people to my fights it's. like comedy yeah yeah it actually yeah. he's like I don't invite people he's. like think. about like there's a chance I get. knocked out and crippled in front of. everybody I love I don't want anybody. there good point these guys bring their. kids sometimes too that was a mistake. horrible made fun of the kid no and then.
one no you made fun of him after yeah. cuz he did it to him first he did yeah. but he was like five yeah that's true so. he knocked so pra knocked him out when. they were like kickboxing and the little. kid was in the ring when they were. putting the hands up and he like laid. down like Adis getting knocked out so. then Adis won this time and saw him in. the crowd and was like you [ __ ] you dude. that's fair he did it back to turn kid. like crying in his mother's arm oh I it. was crazy your son's in my.
DMs that was probably my favorite dude. Conor lay in there just like this is not. over oh dude that was a low level right. there that was so sad that was crazy. dude s there like [ __ ] you it was so. easy to be like what a lack of Cl it's. like dude you get your ass kicked in. front of the entire world he didn't even. get his ass K he get his leg shattered. and the other guy's celebrating like he. won I'd be furious yeah and he was the. guy that was a leg KO was yeah he was. for sure that was a leg KO right he was.
done he lost yeah he lost he checked. arguably he checked checked the kick. early yeah and broke it but yeah Connor. stepped back on it is that a bit weird. though to check a kick and get your leg. broken no I guess it makes it happens to. these guys a lot the video game I. thought it only hurts the other guy no. they step back and no he got it he got. it checked oh he got his leg kick. checked allegedly or he broke it in Camp. before was like hairline fractures why.
would you just push back you can't you. push it back push what back the fight. back like bro I broke my leg oh you. could so yeah he probably broke it in. the ring yeah that's crazy I heard that. too like he he just said it's like why. would you knowing you have a fra like go. into it like when Tyson you ever see. Tyson at the he's like my I broke my. back how' you do like what type of. injury is it he's like it's. spinal. spinal it's a vertebrae. it's so good dude said he broke it doing.
like push or situps his back popped out. oh he didn't do what he didn't they say. like if you do the wrong stuff you can. like [ __ ] your back up for like sit-ups. and like lifting your legs up probably. yeah he did he like didn't keep his neck. down and broke his back he shattered his. back and then knocked the guy out I've. never lifted with my legs once people. tell me that my whole life I don't know. what that means lift with your legs well. it means you're like curling your back. oh yeah they used to do these things. where you like lift your knees up like. dude those things you'll break your. spine it's like oh come on I don't have. to worry about that yeah I'm not doing.
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guarantee with a 30-day return policy. that's C- drenched at true classic.com. you can't go wrong it's look good. Feelgood season it is look good Feelgood. season and with that let's get back to. that [ __ ] silly podcast we. do dude I'm reading a book about. longevity right now and they're saying. like if you don't work out three days a. week you're going just going to. completely. degrade Peter ATA I think I'm done with. all these guys we're all going to. completely degrade so they shut up true. this guy is saying everybody wants to.
live forever these days well it's not. there's Health span and lifespan he's. talking about he's like life lifespan. whatever he goes but in order to be able. to like move when you're older he was. talking about like old ladies that like. tear their like shatter their femur. falling off a curb he was like that's. avoidable he's like you can avoid that. oh you can't dude no you can't you can. my grandma played golf every day towards. the end she was she was laying down dude. she was all the time she'd fall get. stuck for like 4 hours before someone.
found her I want to believe I can hop a. curb when I'm 80 and not break my femur. dude dude try to H now it's so hard it's. inevitable I had to jog yesterday on the. treadmill I was [ __ ] dying dude this. guy says publicly there was two girls. working out next to us oh no you ran. fast good I bumped it up I bumped that. speed. up I was. Gass was nice though he's like you got a. nice STP I was like thank you dude that. helps yeah that's a nice move though.
you're gas in the treadmill there's. girls be like I got a business call I. got a business so you're business sell a. million dollar I don't even care that's. the move that guy pulled in the airport. taking a [ __ ] he's embarrassed [ __ ]. so he's like I got to look cool right. now um let's buckle down on the. Investments the ground swell was nice oh. it's going a ground swell ground swell. is nice I I want to know what the [ __ ]. it means I don't know what it means I. don't know ground swell uh I like the. ground swell and partner up with this.
startup like God damn you're turning me. on in here yeah Sam bankman freed over. here they say just walking really saves. your ass I've heard walking I'm a big. fan of that one but then just walk yeah. I like to walk low impact this guy was. saying you should be able to like hang. from a bar for two minutes dude two. minutes I was like I got to be able to. do a minute dude 30 seconds I was like. yeah hanging is tough it's hard as hell. hang tough you can hang you're hang I. can hang but I did this thing I was. walking around in my with my lady and. this guy goes 200 bucks anyone could.
hang for 2 minutes I was like oh I got. this but if you lose you pay him 10 I. think I got like 48 seconds oh [ __ ] it's. an eternity we had to do that seconds. pretty good football we had to do that. you had to hang for a minute you to hold. 2 45 plates for a minute the other guy. had to hold the bar up for a minute and. the three of you would rotate every. minute it's the longest minute life. sucked dick dude yeah but dude you won't. shatter your femur on a curb when you're. 80 yeah well. shattered in 49 yeah certainly no but no.
the guy was saying if you get strong. enough you can basically Dragon Ball Z. if you just get jacked as [ __ ] you can. ward off the deaths of like this like. the stupid [ __ ] of just like laying in a. bed and dying he's like if you're strong. have you seen jacked guys when they get. old yeah but they a lot of them take. steroids and they overeat he was saying. if you get jacked enough and just starve. yourself your whole [ __ ] life you got. a shot dude you have a shot at what at. just [ __ ] ho miserable life hopping. over curve you suffer your entire life. when you're 85 you won't be hunched over.
like the rest of those [ __ ] losers. that had a good time that's the other. thing these guys are all fasting too. you're not allowed to eat you got to. wake up at 5:00 a.m. and you got to. shower cold you got to look at the sun. first thing too look at the sun talking. yeah it's a bunch of it's. [ __ ] I'm pretty motivated to do all. this stuff and I can't I get up and I go. not [ __ ] I can't good for you dude. it's hard I'm going to get back on you. look healthy thank I'm I'm going to get. back on the eating is a big thing try. not to eat when I'm not hungry that's an. easy one oh it's America you got to eat.
got dude I eat to the point where I'm. uncomfortable every grazing is good for. you just graze just graze every day I. eat and I go geez I got tomorrow I'm not. GNA eat for 10 hours after this I'm full. and it's just like it is dinner time. yeah I have to eat it is dinner time. yeah you ever you ever fall asleep and. you go hey I didn't eat I was sleeping. for like 7 hours that's pretty good yeah. dude every day I wake up like nice yeah. 10 hours off yeah burning a lot of fat.
yeah true true true I'm going to I'll go. for I'll I'll go for it that's the other. thing they all go you got to get sleep. sleep's the superpower you have to sleep. and then they're like wake up at 5: so. which one is it wake up and grind all. day yes yeah but don't be mean to. yourself too that was other thing but be. nice to yourself you got to be nice to. yourself be nice to yourself you that's. a good way to call Jerk it. offce myself it's almost like the. manosphere [ __ ] we were talking about. last week where it's like all right dude. here's all you have to do yeah okay tell. that to the guy who's got a [ __ ] job. right yeah but that's you need to wake.
up at 5: run seven miles come up then. the next book's like running destroys. your legs I know yeah and then you know. whole bunch of guys they don't know. they're not 80 yeah I hope that guy gets. to 80 and he goes man staring at the sun. every morning didn't do [ __ ] sucks burn. my want to be my friend I'm blind I was. blind and I don't have friends cuz I. bothered everyone but you're jacked but. you're jacked you're jacked there's a. jacked blind guy terrorizing a [ __ ].
Village yeah I wonder I mean that is. though you know it's one of those things. man it's like I don't know I have no. concept of being 60 in my body just. [ __ ] failing completely I don't know. every once while they interview those. people they're like how'd you get to 120. they like I [ __ ] bacon and vodka yeah. pancakes and whiskey they always say. that lady those guys just smoking on. camera every time. true they do put those guys on cam what. is the oldest person let's take a bet I.
think uh all no that's too high they lie. there's all these there's all these. Tibetan monk [ __ ] Liars suck my. tongue he forbidden dude that was making. me laugh so [ __ ] K my did you see that. the kiss yeah I saw do suck my. kiss the only reason was making me laugh. my sister got in the car and was just. like some kid suck the dolly llama's. tongue he's holding multiple kid he had. a whole Sizzle reel a fun gag dude it.
was a gag true that could be you know. maybe that's some cultural thing of like. suing a wise Man's Tongue come on I. swear to God I don't think it was a. sexual thing I what you talking no idea. if your girlfriend did that to a dolly. llama you if we were a [ __ ] dude that. lived in the mountain that thought he. was a reincarnated like [ __ ] God how. about a handshake who knows suck my. tongue who knows what that guy's. doing I as my girl to do it I'd never. heard of the tongue suck how was it not.
great it's nice when you're the one. doing it I like doing it am icky tongue. I like the. [ __ ] I try to deep. thr suck my kid I'm saying. 110 no there's some Gees pretty close. right now the guardian has an article. that says the oldest lady is in France. and she's 118. damn she survived the the bird flu the. [ __ ] Holocaust both world wars yeah. Spanish Civil War damn Co true ins she.
made it through Co that seems impossible. oh yeah so did Biden true yeah true he. might I think he sleeps in that like. Wolverine water every night dud I think. they have him hooked up. that just doing. [Laughter]. Aderall yeah hunty's been in hunty's. been hun was over in Ireland Hunter was. with him in Ireland dud that intro they. gave him was insane what was the intro. you see him in Dublin Biden in Dublin I. saw the little clip of him being he came.
out to like shipping up to Boston He. Walked on stage it was like lights what. it's [ __ ] crazy dude he walks out. just he doesn't move his head when he. walks right yeah he can't he doesn't. move anything yeah they they probably. have like stitches holding his brain. like one place you know you have like an. old [ __ ] up car battery and you can't. move people it goes off they have it. like like an old. PlayStation get that [ __ ] screen. you're like yes it worked don't move. your neck at all he's a Walkman he is.
dude he's gone yeah man and he's sucked. about running again yeah he can't dude. he keep saying that they can't dude they. cannot it's crazy but he has to while. he's in he has to be like yeah I'll. [ __ ] do it again right you can't be. like no I'm old as [ __ ] losing my. mind I can't do it again yeah so's like. yeah he keep saying I'm considering it. I'm considering yeah he has said I'm. going to we just haven't figured out. when yeah he almost didn't take the. presidency allegedly after uh Obama CU. his son died yeah oh really yeah he.
dropped out in 08 or no no oh they said. it was Hillary's turn 16 he he didn't. run but he said the party cluded get. some kind of was like it's her turn. obviously they said it was her turn they. cut out Bernie yeah they actively. eliminated him yeah that was crazy they. really I mean it was but she was boss. pants so she did boss pants she must. [ __ ] in those God Dam behind. closed doors heard just yelling at you. oh God big lab he pinching one off giant.
pinching one off carrying hot sauce in. case she runs into a black yeah what's. in your bag hot. sauce damn Jam she think talk to Bill. like how did you get all those black. people to like you so much like yeah. he's like played the sacks played the. Sachs on Areno got some [ __ ] [ __ ]. sacks yeah that sucks for her dude and. McDonald's she tried every politician. has to try to like Court the black vote. every white Democrat has to like. basically do the black room Trump's done.
the best of the Republicans Trump the. the santis has to step it up he had a. moment LC did true Lincoln oh yeah did. pretty good for the Republicans with the. black. vote that was an easy one yeah like who. do you guys want to vote for True the. tall guy the tall guy that wants to free. you or that other must crazy news for a. slave like wait what there's a guy on. our side that's.
insane yeah you're sounding Out the. newspaper being like what the [ __ ] like. you must be misre you must be misre back. you know you can't read yeah they ly. [Laughter]. [ __ ] that's what juneth is. juneth they finally well they in keep. hearing about it it was like we've been. celebrating the whole time was not a. year I don't know how long after yeah. yeah after the Emancipation Proclamation. somebody finally got to a place in Texas.
and was like you know you guys are free. right what yeah been working for the. last [ __ ] seven months well they. didn't have phones yeah damn they that. slave owner was definitely like oh yeah. dude for sure not going to let this news. get out slavery is diabolical but like. once they're like all right you're free. to keep it going it's like that's Double. Di that's maybe not double but it is. diabol sorry super diabolical but a lot.
of them couldn't read but I guess he was. trying to hide the front page of the. paper yeah yeah I'm sure guys coming by. on like horse like did you hear the news. the [ __ ] up dude keep it. moving lighting off. fireworks yeah that's got to be a crazy. see other black people walking around. outside how'd you do. that get out go. yeah [ __ ] this up for me. be funny if he only had like two slaves.
left just one guy you guys are all right. you know what I'm saying you guys I feel. like there's opportunities here for you. you know. spitballing I mean dude even if it did. yeah. true God man what a that must have been. crazy for slaves to be free and then. just they have white dudes walking. around. like oh yeah n they didn't they didn't. do that they weren't like sorry they. were like [ __ ] you [ __ ] I can't believe. you got free it's weird they seem to.
hate white people more now than they did. then we were like controlling. ex-boyfriends basically tell that to Nat. [Music]. Turner old Natty light Natty light was. not a big fan dude what was Nat Turner. Nat Turner had his slave revolt oh yeah. yeah he yeah he got nasty with the boys. he was right he was right was a right. move yeah I talk about a lot same thing. with the Haitian revolution it's like. yeah I don't know about what the H with. the haian they got Rowdy oh yeah they. realized they outnumbered the French.
like 15 to1 on the island oh they were. all getting handed. machetes yikes how do you talk of. that I didn't mean it there was one. Proto anime black dude just [ __ ] like. a style Bender. sty damn they definitely was. showboating show dude I mean dude I I. could tap into that of just being like a. Haitian slave running full speed at your. French Master with machete that gets the.
juices flowing personally blood is you. bro true true just [ __ ] that's the. white slave blood a you brother I mean. yeah true we're not all to talk about it. not to talk about it didn't happen our. anest sufferings didn't matter still. being [ __ ] we're still being. oppressed dude it's 2023 we can't even. talk about it can't even say. it you might be honest something but. anyway what's up with the IRA is that. still going on no not really. is it is peace in Ireland yeah there has.
been yeah there has been they chilled. yeah the bombs once you bring out the. bombs people start you get people you. know you get the ear of the most across. country yeah especially when you start. getting framed by you know MI6 yeah spy. vers spy at that point though they. joined they joined with the Protestants. started framing the IRA for [ __ ]. [ __ ] damn Protestant nasty. Protestants they're the worst yeah. they're nasty fighting over Religion. different religion religion the whole. the whole point of the religion is like. every man for themselves it's like yeah. [ __ ] it's on you bro don't bother me.
and then the Vikings popped over there. for a hot minute yeah to Ireland yeah. yeah that a while that was way I watched. a YouTube video Yeah yesterday I got. Viking Blood In Me There You Go little. bit I mean you know you know loser and. winner combined yeah you know it's a. shame to think about what my poor great. great great great great seeing those. seeing the Kon Shaman dude coming off. the boat. storm in the castle slay my great great. great great great great grandfather Yeah.
and [ __ ] his wife I mean it's. probably jacked is [ __ ] tall yeah. true which obviously you know talking a. long time back then yeah out but back. then it's got I mean you know that's. where they're from True oh [ __ ] they. were sitting there and they were going. we should go somewhere else and rape. everyone yeah yeah guys you want to get. in a boat and rape everybody we find. yeah that's tough though that's like H. not doing anything hitting Ireland with. no concept of just like a number one. spazz country must have been like he. we'll chill on that place that was.
crazy that was England hated Ireland. because of the sexual licentiousness. they were like just they were saying. they went there and it was just. disgusting really oh dude there just. dudes just [ __ ] like they're yeah. like daughters England Andel they were. the same yeah back in the day Rome got. there that's who that must be Rome got. there and got into they just stopped at. basically Scotland Adrian's wall they. like nothing's good up there yeah. nothing's good in Ireland there's a. bunch of [ __ ] Swamp People but then. they got Britain though and then they.
they took Britain but even those people. were out of control yeah yeah that's. good good to know they weren't always. Posh and proper no walking through like. Ireland dominated England for a while. did really yeah back in the day I could. see that think with the Viking boys yeah. they teamed up the Vikings just stayed. in Ireland sweet yeah they weren't just. raiding they had like cities and [ __ ] oh. okay yeah like Dublin Dublin was a. viking City really I believe so doin. yeah didn't they have like three. different regimes come Ireland wasn't it.
conquered like multiple times I think. Vikings a couple other people they've. all been conquered yeah over and over. again it's pretty tight and the Anglo. the Saxons moved in ah yes so they're. the Anglo Saxons the Saxons were from. sat. like Netherlands Belgium area I think. the Kelts the Saxons all types of. [ __ ] and Briggs who knows anything. true I don't know I just know I got that. nor somehow have Norwegian DNA according. that's it. is that a [ __ ] thing no finish excuse.
me finish but I don't bore you guys my. genetic profile that's fine my ancestral. trauma we're all processing it the same. way you know what it carries over your. ancestral the trauma it's still with you. today I know if something bad happen to. your ancestors it's with you today I. mean I'm going to ask that I'm going to. ask that you don't when we play UFC that. you don't jump on top of me while I'm on. the ground true spikes my ancestral. drama and then I can't play true all I. want to do is play UFC I was loveing. watching it I want get this podcast done. and just play UFC the real thing we.
should take a break every 10 minutes we. we could stream an. episode just play an episode right now. we could headsets we could do headsets. UFC and talk the entire time I'll. commentate it'd be terrible it just be. it. would just button snatching sticky. button button stuck the guy my guy. sucks cut L cut that time cut cut that. part my button stuck there cut that part. out Lam you were feeling good after that. you knocked out Nate Diaz with Max. Hollow it felt nice it felt good and. that would happen two first round.
Knockouts big deal obviously right to. the ground I couldn't well I knocked you. out and then jumped on you it wasn't. take down did you feel like you learned. though like your game increased my game. I feel like it increases I lose but I'm. like I definitely get XP points every. time I play makes sense going to the. legs when you check my leg kick it's the. beginning of the end if I get one leg. check kicked I fall apart you stopped. doing it I fall apart yeah completely I. noticed that lamary likes to open with a. onew leg combo yeah I know I know how. you guys play Yeah you got to switch it.
up you can't just go straight for the. face what's the pecking order right now. versus Lam mer and Gardini who's better. yeah who won last time you guys played I. think I think Lam mer did two humble. Superstars I hate how falsely humble you. guys. are disgusting I can't it was a couple. weeks ago well have you guys do it out. afterwards I can't wait I'm pretty. excited how long have we been doing this. we have eight more minutes yes how long. eight more minutes left dude yes you can. play UFC tell a story for eight minutes.
go oh [ __ ] uh U my dad used to sword. fight that's pretty good over your. shoulder is honestly yeah agressive do. you ever think about turning around do. you ever think turn around playing the. ultimate. joke blindfold bobing for some apples. being the little boy in the fountain. is a nuzzle with it like a like a neck. pillow on a. plane dude that must have lit up any we. imag there's other people in the. bathroom being like this rules well it. was at home what we weren't doing that I.
thought you like an Eagles game or. something the arrested bro I've been I. basically did yeah I've been hit with. that over the shoulder pisses every. noted aim game really you get the. troughs your little kids go in there's. just two dicks yeah like headphones. doesn't matter when you're a kid though. you're just like God damn look at the SI. they all huge and hairies are giant and. they got weird marks on them and [ __ ]. weird different colors like the the the. multicolor dick you ever see that in. porn no yeah look like a push pop it's.
got like red un circum siiz well no. there's that too but there's one guy. he's he's like kind of tan and then. super white on the top pull it up he's. in a white he's a tan dong he's a white. guy but a tan dong on the bottom like. where the foreskin would be it becomes. very oh yeah and he's pretty well well. endowed really he's like got two dicks. that's pretty cool got like a dool wish. I had a huge dick yeah I wonder how that. would affect your life that'd be a cool.
like Back to the Future type of thing. where you go back and you get like a. huge dick you got to put it on your mou. your mom tries to [ __ ] you true what the. [ __ ] she [ __ ] you she I want your dad. after she's stretched out apparently. girls don't love huge dicks I'm hearing. they hate them dude yeah they despise. them they honestly do hate them all. right keep hearing that I don't know I. hope the ones that do like them are. [ __ ] disgusting dude they talk about. it a lot the ones like deck was huge. they have like hip problems I think the. girls love big dicks have like hip dis.
they're not going to make it to 85 no. they'll break a femur my theory was that. it was like an evolutionary thing where. you want to get that thing beat up with. a big old dong so you can ease the Pains. of childbirth whoa that was my question. don't say wo. interesting now also can a baby feel. good if you're that much of a size queen. some some. do oras some claim orgas they under. water things and they go pedophile. orgasm and yeah true but imagine what a.
Heavenly birth that would be you as a. child coming out of your mother's orgasm. vagina that would be you know oh my God. gave your mom an orgas just from a. biochemical standpoint though because. otherwise you're just like your mom's. freaking out you're still kind of. connected to her so you're getting that. like epinephrine dump and your mom's. like you're a baby just going like why. am I getting all these [ __ ] chemicals. and you get clamped down [ __ ] I don't. think you have any thoughts no but you. you're feeling you're getting like if. your mom's spazzing the whole time while. they're pregnant with you you're getting. the taste of all those like neurotrans. whatever it is stinks no it's good to.
have you want to get ready for life. you're in a void you're a non-sentient. come to [ __ ] squirt [ __ ]. a yeah but you're feeling it on the way. out you're going oh [ __ ] yes you're. sexual freak dude you're just you're. like a non-conscious entity just. experiencing you need to experience the. worst hardships. immediately get slapped in the face by. the doctor exactly slapped by a stranger. immediately what if he slapped your mom. mom.
go spank hert too dude I don't like. squirting what and porn I mean oh porn. grosses me the [ __ ] out dude why the way. they act the women are like I'm like the. dudes from Mad Max dude I'm the bottom. of the Cy. going yes I don't like. it yeah I think it's a good thing I. think it's a good thing but I'm out of a. gross phase in porn really like the.
gross stuff I don't like it what's the. what's what would be gross gang bang or. something yeah I'm kind of with you I'm. looking at like Ikea ads now I saw a. gang bang the last one I watched was. like a there was a bunch of dudes. [ __ ] a lady and some of them were. like disgustingly fat dudes it was like. e. yeah poor lady I haven't viewed you. watching that's pretty good haven't. viewed since August it's been AUST since. you watch it does help but I have I have. fallen to audio content uh honestly it's.
good cuz you let yourself ramp yourself. up to the point you're like I have to. jerk off yeah and then you have some. lady and you're like oh what are you. doing here it's like audio books perfect. you ever watch a gang bang porn you hear. the guys goofing off no no they do the. whole time they all say stuff and laugh. ah do they really disgusting damn that'. be a great you guys back me up on this. I've never seen that I've never seen. that. either I know who has. you got what else are you doing you know. it's just one lady.
you got to get Tik Tock. out did you. fall tyus did you. fall can't stop watching it dude how are. they goofing are they goofing on the. lady or goofing just on like each other. like uh just gross like I'm g go I don't. know how to like yeah man get in there. ha oh I've heard that that's different. yeah give her that. ha the last thing I want to. hear yeah you're jerking off like come.
on guys come on guys I just want to. watch this lady get. defiled and then don't finish and I feel. bad for her that's what I like that's. the one thing if you don't watch porn. you avoid that after just like cuz I. would jerk off when I didn't have to. jerk off yes you know what I'm saying. and that's what you get out of that. that's the road which is nice yeah I. don't yeah I know we've had this. discussion over empty vessel with a like. a sore bird on the that's in a hotel you. go too hard with a sore bird then that. does what was that for then you piss and.
it hurts IM I'm talking about what I'm. talking about yeah you don't want that. that's that's my zone that's my zone. dude go nice get a little hotel lotion. you. lotion you know they don't give you. enough that's enough dude that's enough. for two I'm a [ __ ] lotion hog dude. yeah you must be yeah you are that's. easy for two really I get down to the. last drop have to go in the shower get. some conditioner AB yeah I've done that. it off put stationary conditioner I. haven't used Briny gave me shaving cream.
recently I I was just using like a bar. of soap and she gave me shaving cream. and I smelled it and was like oh I used. to jerk off of this stuff I forgot about. it it was yeah you've been shaving with. a bar of soap yeah I just rub a bar of. soap and lather up and shave oh wow I've. never even heard of that what are you. Irish yeah I was cuz I was like I don't. feel like buying shaving cream I was. like I'm done with it I and dude I was. used to it but I used the cream I'm like. wo this is so much easier you whacked. off with shaving women shaving cream bro. that was a good like the gel yeah I've. never whacked off with that it goes away. quick though that's the problem stay out. the water dude it does it job you hit.
the water water you're Fu it's slick. conditioner is a good conditioner that's. where you put a hurting on your bird yes. in the shower when you're a young man in. the water burn the pee hole too yeah. shampoo no no no. conditioner conditioner also removes. Vaseline from you if you have a vased up. dong oh yep good to know. that's yes let do sex I should do sex ed. you get we got to get you into a school.
I Tred to get myself into school to do a. program put on a dress try to get in not. the sex ed I oh and a dress that's a. good way I wonder if we could do that as. a nice bit what we could do a drag show. reading for kids pull out my. dick dress small and when it starts just. take your [ __ ] dress off in a suit. and be like we're reading the Bible oh. [ __ ] flip it on them yeah I thought. you're agent provocator where you go in. there then you like show kids your penis. and it for all the drag school things. you'd get in so much more trouble for. that that Bible thing than the drag.
thing You' be arrested showing kids your. butthole reading the. Bible yeah go out to a drag dance show. your dick show your but be like no I'm. [ __ ] around that's weird we're going. to read the Bible some cleaning up his. [ __ ] you just took on the gym. floor I bet we could get a A Drag Brunch. oh yeah contact a public library in New. York or one of these coffee shops and be. like easily I work for a drag company of.
dancers they can't say no they have to. say yes we get we get the podcast in. there L do it right now yeah we can do. it. today they can say. yes gagging on. D just the Poke. puppy all right that seems like eight. minutes we got UFC to play yes play UFC. internal clock for UFC wait that was an. hour yeah dude Jesus flew by it did yeah.
we got to do another one too why does it. smell over there what's going on who. fart f it's a mystery you fought you. were the man [ __ ]. Tyrus did you f no I am not farting you. been happy with you would have been. happy L I got in a race war at JFK with. Nate yeah yeah got it we got in an. argument over jokic vers embiid oh he. loves embiid I finally cuz when I'm with. Nathan we like to joke around about race. quite a bit and usually he's he he's. totally impervious to it no matter what.
I say Nate Nate Marshall oh okay but fin. I found it I found it he obviously he. loves Joel embid and he thinks there's a. he thinks there's a conspiracy against. Joel to win really the MVP well dude he. did have like he had better Seasons than. yic those. years both years I maybe at least the. second year he did the second I think. the second year was definitely. questionable yeah but that's this year. is Joel for sure he if if jit wins this.
year you guys got a point or dearen Fox. true name especially lately who's the. guy with the beard who was like racist. against JJ. reick no no what's the announcer that. black guy super racist so that's what. Nate used that as an example of like. well since Kendrick called it out now. Joel's going to win and it's. like bro dude reic went [ __ ] hard I. was surprised reic [ __ ] uh dude look. at ESPN it's it's racial all day. everything if you look at the bottom. line like while they're like NBA scores.
this and they'll just be like this. happened in the Bundesliga a German. soccer player got racist against I ESPN. they're I feel like they're like this. though Sports and race are ultimately. tied definitely and I feel like people. at ESPN feel very obligated because. they're all bunch of white people yeah. right then all they do is Coast off. afcan American ex the owner thing kind. of difficult it's got to be the most. first channel ESPN now yeah well I mean. but no I mean just all they do is play.
highlights of different races yeah true. ver it is and then they're just shoving. [ __ ] women's basketball up our ass oh. yeah yeah that's come that's been and. they're yeah they loved that they they. loved it they were like Angel Reese is. the greatest of all time thanks ESPN not. caring about them yes we can okay but. they they they found the the only way. for everybody care about wom basketball. race war good point good for them.
especially when the white chick was. cooking dude that's a good one for the. whites there's a white chick from Iowa. named Caitlyn hitting like step back. threes from the logo yeah she she was so. much better than that angel Reese chick. really damn then she won but the team. was significantly better bleeding out. and everything now now do you see the. picture of all the Democrats drinking. Bud Light together casually and now. that's a big thing I did see that yeah. there's like four Asian Senators like. sipping lights with down the it was so. what were they drinking so.
forced yeah it's funny that that's the. thing now it's cooking up dude it's. getting going we're getting ready for. another election it's time to fire up. racial section all that can't hand it's. time to fire it up get ready bummer it's. coming that'll be fun there you go. that's the buzzer that is dude there it. is final word we got into racism and now. Fort that ends It Goodbye safe. yes.
