Ep 438 - Full Zordon

the Wild Wild West all right Lam mer you. fixed the problem good job keep an eye. on that thing guard dog the Superstar's. already gone he's left our lives I know. he's already out big dogging on the road. he's on tour tour bus dude cuz you know. how sticky it gets he's on them big. Silver Wings dude carrying him across. the country he is dude he's such a nice. humble boy dude every week just to tease. him so we're here with Lam mer Lee the. executive producer today the big big. shot that's the bigger shot dude.

it's the big you should seen him out. dude out in Boston Way Lam mer I heard. bro I. heard I heard po that your first was. that your first pop yeah I didn't I. didn't really know what to do it's a. nice feeling right I had a feel I I. actually said exactly that I said I'm. sure when they did it he was like oh. okay. ude hi. okay oh it very funny yes I gave him a I. told the sound given the songs is very.

fun I was like go pull up for Lam I was. like pull up Kiss by the rose at the. most dramatic point he walks up it was. like I've Been Kissed by I make anytime. I get to well I tell them every time Lam. needs to come out to uh Simply. Irresistible he he walks so autistically. and fast to the mic I know there's no. time it literally just goes simply. irresistable like hi hello everybody. just said Simply Irresistible it was the. first night I gave him something but he. was so [ __ ] [ __ ] fast they didn't.

they didn't get to hear it I forget what. I gave him but it was it was so fast I. like I asked him did you guys play and. like yeah we did but he was like right. to the mic Qui so I said look keep it up. turn it up and let him Ste in it dude it. was like I've been just baby he walked. on dude it was pretty tight he Lam mer. hit me with the [ __ ] uh was that you. with the NBC song Oh round ball rock. yeah that get some people going I come. out to the NBA NBA NBC theme. song no one thinks it's funny that's. kind of so I stand and let it play for a.

minute and no one everyone's like all. right yeah that's stin go start the show. yeah come on funny music you found out. several times funny music is only funny. to us I know I tried doing like AMV. you're coming out like space lasers and. [ __ ] you can like barely hear it so. they're like what what is this you stand. up huh isn't it funny yeah anyway uh. yeah uh dude I tell you about my death. spiral no I'd like to hear it dude I was. doing uh when I was I switched I think I.

told you this I switched the order of. everything I was like I got to figure. out like oh yeah and dude change up the. order your set you got to remember it. you know it's not it's not as like tight. as it's it's not as easy as it looks. folks you got to [ __ ] remember an. hour speech that's a lot dude it's a lot. it's a [ __ ] ton it has to make sense. too and it's like dude I came out and. just. went I'm like all right I got this and. like two seconds in I went wait what was. that first thing and I went oh why' I. switch everything around I was just. standing there going yeah uh uh yeah you.

know and dude people I was literally my. body was like my body was like get off. now I had to be like no dude I can't end. right now I I'm convinced that there's. going to be a point where I just have a. complete mental breakdown and have to go. hey sry sorry the show's cancel I yeah. yeah s you guys I'm going home right now. you got just go you got to pretend. there's near pece go my dad just. died there's a I have to go there's a. family emergency my whole family just. died you understand my family got hit.

with a bust full of gay kids yeah please. don't [ __ ] ask for a refund you. understand goodbye like it's one night. guys it's one night come on dude I'm. telling you I think I vanquished this. part of my brain but it goes back to you. have the dreams where you come out you. come out yeah maybe comes back that's. what I was telling you I was like I'm. I'm in a good good spot comments. nothing's getting to me they get you. next week you'll see me like guys. stop what the [ __ ] guys well every time. it's like it's like the arms right do.

you think you develop like the mental. structure to be like n I'm pretty. impervious and someone crafts this brand. new weapon you go I was watching Mass. casualties Mass. casualties we're ruined I was watching. One read a video and it was in the. middle of it just like hi Shane and I. was just like [ __ ] I got to stop doing. this the videos yeah they anytime. there's a comment that's like hi Shane. yeah that'll stop you in your tracks. yeah I go God damn they know I'm a. [ __ ] weirdo I'm lurking on subreddits. and yeah.

yeah yeah that was fun it was fun to. overcome dude an absolute. like dude go leave you know you get the. I get like full body waves of panic that. just like start here and just go on. stage I've gotten them before never. before that bad on stage ever in my life. but I got them before from like if I. like mix mushrooms with weed I get hit. with the most Sinister it was that level. of like it's like it's like honestly. like a demon passing through my body and. I go.

yeah and I was able to stall then get my. feet I was proud of myself I had one. like a month ago at the stand I don't. know why there was a girl in the front. row and I said something making fun of. her and she was like oh great and I felt. so bad and I didn't care but my Rea dude. my face got dark red and I started. sweating like [ __ ] crazy and I. couldn't look at her as soon as she said. all great I was like looking at her I. was like H just started staring at the. ceiling the rest of the oh man.

yeah I mean you are playing got off. stage I was like it's hot up there right. the host was like no like [ __ ] dude I. think I'm dying something's very wrong. I'm dripping in sweat in a [ __ ] on. like a 10-minute set I was covered in. sweat yeah it's thanks man when the when. you know dark red face on stage an. embarrassed face dude terrible Crimson. dude just Crimson so weird dude you're. playing with like archaic like. biotechnology where it's like hi being. in front of like 25 people your organism.

is going like or even if it's God forbid. hundreds if not thousands your organism. is going like dude we got to get out of. here yeah this is why are all these. people staring at us they're going to. eat us get out get out your body's going. no don't do this yeah your brain goes. but we need to that's why it evacuates. all the [ __ ] breath piss and diarrhea. before you go on stage dude it's a. guarantee can of snakes it is you sit. down right before people are like dude. that was quick and I'm like yeah yeah. it's one spray of [ __ ] out of my ass and.

then it's like all right let's go on. stage pardon me I have to spray a. horrific spray of [ __ ] out of my ass. quick the physiology of a sick dog. before I go on cocktail. just yeah slinking Around The Green Room. yeah do you do you drop vicious. diarrheas sometimes before you go on. stage no I poop before I go home or. before I leave the house oh really yeah. yeah I try I do too and then I go and I. sit there and I go hold on a second it's. like yeah hold on I'm nervous my stomach. upset I take like a duck [ __ ] in the.

granted I just got done eating some. buffalo bites and four butt. lights and I'm. nervous hey I throw some dip in there. yeah true some skull that'll settle my. stomach but it was good it was good. overall I don't want to paint the wrong. portion but in terms of an inner I. haven't had that intense of an inner. episode in a while and I went like whoa. that was a crazy arena for it it you. know it's only four it's 4 seconds and. it feels like 40 minutes and you just go. like they know I lost my mind everybody.

knows I'm [ __ ] no problem dude it. was yeah either way everyone in the. crowd can see I'm a giant. buffoon they're right it's not that good. that comment was right I'm better at. podcasting than. [Laughter]. standup dude Boston was pretty nice dude. we stayed in uh South Boston oh you're. sou souy bro dude I I was talking the. whole time I was talking about this. walking around I was so tough dude the. whole time were you Listen to Drop Kick. Murphy's I should have I was just.

walking around I was I was going back. like pre I wanted to tap into like 80s. Southeast so I'm like no music I'm. walking around oh nice the [ __ ] this. problem yeah you're like what that guy. [ __ ] Vietnamese I was telling him I. get a Mark I I was telling him I was. eyeing up I was like I saw an Asian dude. and I S yeah like don't dude I'm Mark. wallberg that was all I thought I'm Mark. wallberg but dude I was walking stay out. I was walking around being like dude. this I was like this place is not tough. like this place has gone soft just. walking it dude it's been like.

completely developed I can't believe. you're talking about Sal I was dude I. was walking the streets just being like. dude I didn't see I didn't see a single. soul F I don't think anyone lives there. anymore how does how does Boston get so. many [ __ ] movies it looks cool every. movie is from Boston cuz it looks cool a. bunch of white that actually I know the. answer it's the last white Tough City. that's what I'm saying so white people. that's good for the that's a big. Blockbuster yep white people love to see. whites being tough that's exactly what. it's a tough white place but dude I. there so many tough white movies dude GR. thereso just a white guy just like get.

out of here the hell get out of my. neighborhood I'm tough white didn't he. stay there yeah he was yeah he stay and. then he [ __ ] Marky marked bunch of. Asians moved in he was like what are you. guys doing in my neighborhood get out my. garage yeah they're in there doing their. math homework Grand Torino dude the uh. I'm walking around is like I'm like I. might honestly be the toughest dude here. completely I thought I was you might be. the toughest guy in South dude no they. have they got the they have the heroin. bro was kicking around they're hiding I.

went to a Target and it was like 10:00. at night and I was like all right it was. like 9:50 I was like I'll get a couple. things and leave they hit the lights. they just cut the lights so it's like. it's not pitch black but it's dark so. I'm like all right [ __ ] let me get out. of here I'm like pushing my cart I'm. like they'll probably be like you know I. was thinking there was going to be like. parents or someone there who like ran. out of time getting stuff it it was dude. it was literally seven heroin addicts in. like just different shopping carts all. like going about their business shopping. dude I I was checking out and it was. just one guy just being like dude it's. excuse me and and there was a tough.

white dude dude that was it was a it was. a polite it was a polite Heron addict. nice it was kind of nice he would like. I'm sorry about that he was completely. just lost dude and there was a couple. the whole time it's got to be tough to. be a heroin addict and still have like. self guilt or like guilt and like aware. that you're causing a problem int he was. intensely aware of the fact that his. presence was a burden on but it was just. no I've never seen one that has that. awareness dude the other two there was a. couple it was a you know dude and a girl.

the dude just kept going like baby they. the ha white herin adct dudes talk like. like 30 Jazz musicians they're so smooth. they got to be baby you got to keep your. baby in line dude exact he kept being. like baby babe don't worry I'll get the. juice for us honey. baby come baby we got some stuff outside. baby they really do all right now steal. that we got a heroin out FR outside we. going to do some heroin in 5 minutes and. she kept trying to pump up steal those. dunkaroos.

steal that box of. dunkaroos baby ah they locked them. up stole too many dunk Ros manab gushers. dude they get a 24 pack of gushers just. heroin gers dude they were talking about. snacks he was like they love snacks I. like the Cherry ones like actually let. me see if I have any cherry and she like. babe put this shirt on it looks so good. on you you're wearing the [ __ ] out of. the shirt they're like picking out and. he'd be like baby come here baby it was.

the good times the scream documentary. they're going to be in. rubble in rubble dead in rubble dude I. the biggest not from a collapsed. building after the building collaps you. went laid in a. [ __ ] they just wake up and starter pull. over where the hell this come from dude. it was listening to their conversation. was the funniest [ __ ] thing so I'm. like all I get out of there finally and. I'm like now there's like the BR Bros. there's literally probably like 12.

active like nod and out [ __ ] up dudes. one of them was just like torso in a. shopping cart just like passed out but. it was crazy so I'm outside now I'm kind. of like dude one of these dudes cuz the. one guy anyone who walked by him he'd be. like what the [ __ ] you a problem. [ __ ] [ __ ] like he would just talk. [ __ ] to anyone so I was like he kept. bopping around I'm like dude if he sees. me he's going to say something to me. we're I was I don't want to [ __ ]. fight this guy so we're sitting there. I'm waiting outside I'm like I call on. Uber I'm like oh my God you got like. zombie walk past him I had a dude. literally you know how in the movies.

they like pretend to be zombies you got. to do that if you see one you got to. well I was cu the cops are right there. so I walked out with themop the cops. were sitting [ __ ] cops not going to. do anything dude they were yelling at. the pigs yeah they don't like [ __ ]. [ __ ] the cops. the I didn't want to be looked at as. another Heron addict so I walked back. all upstanding like hello sir officers. officers I'm just here to get stuff from. my family dude so I walked out so I was. like yeah I should have zombie walked. honestly [ __ ] Fruit by the Foot cops. are going to stop us from getting the.

goes I walk out the guy's talking [ __ ]. to everybody and I'm like I hope this. guy doesn't say anything to me in my. head I'm like yeah like heroin guys. they're not like you're not scared of. them but like you just don't want to. touch them you don't know like. radioactive like a dude sodding out in a. parking lot might have you know some. sort of disease that you don't want you. know you don't want to like mix blood. yeah so the plague yeah literally they. have old diseases dude I know they have. diseases are. back these guys ruined their immune.

system so. much that [ __ ] it's crazy I go out I'm. like this guy's starting fights with. everyone I'm looking I'm like please. don't please don't my Uber driver pulls. up old Asian man I went because this. guy's he looks over he literally sees. the driver and goes and starts walking. over the car I'm going no no no dude he. walks up to the he's like yelling I. don't know what he's yelling something. he walks up to the window and goes okay. you're a goon what's a goon to a go.

to the Asian driver and I was like damn. that actually kind of [ __ ] ruled he. said okay you're a goon what's a he went. to the face to the window Jurassic Park. style. dude the. window like cuz I thought he going y. trying to open the door like [ __ ]. they're learning I thought I thought he. was going to yell something terrible. dude he yelled that and I went pretty. funny yeah so then I I'm like that's why. you need a Tesla dude they don't know. how to open those true yeah tough doors. I don't know how to [ __ ] I. you look like an [ __ ] every time I've.

got an Uber for those guys multiple. times I'm like pushing the door like uh. Elon Musk rules and as good at Twitter. no that doesn't work they [ __ ] yeah. the last thing you want is one of those. guys although that must he's obviously. the Asian driver never heard Little. Wayne he was probably like damn that was. pretty [ __ ] cool he was but that guy. just said was pretty neat he was not. having it's like a 55y old Asian man who. was almost you know when like there's a. dude who's like so old and very still. linked to his like Asian Roots when you. talk to them it almost looks like it's. just like I guess they just don't.

understand the language but he was like. he literally just like looked at this. guy yelling was like the most calm. Serene. just there was no like what the [ __ ] is. this guy doing it was just kind of like. it's a passive just Beast pretty sick. yeah stoic Mass I think he just drove. down from the top of a misty mountain. and picked me. up yeah but then so I pull I I threw my. St I like thow I had load all my. groceries in his trunk so I like the guy. leaves the Asian guy like like a slow. Mexican dude walked by and he just looks.

up with him and he goes [ __ ] [ __ ]. and the dude dude he would stop I like. sat there and slowly load him so I could. watch he the guy the Mexican guy would. literally like you know if you like go. like that to a dog he went he froze his. went hey [ __ ] you man and then the guy. would laugh go you [ __ ] quit and dude. start [ __ ] with this guy and he would. every time you said anything to him he. go [ __ ] you man dude like the dog goes. on alls he was go [ __ ] you man dude and. it was there such a delay that he'd be.

like you [ __ ] [ __ ] I'll beat your. ass and he stop and go I [ __ ] you man. and then like go about as and everything. he said the guy would freeze go it was. like a 10-second thought and you go I. [ __ ] you yeah dude it was making me. laugh so [ __ ] I couldn't get over how. funny it was that's his yeah oh I was. doing it to those the worst those are. the worst B those are the worst homeless. the ones that are scream they they're. always scream they're in an. argument with themselves yeah they're. always there's dudes all the time in New. York they'll just walk past you like.

[ __ ] that [ __ ] [ __ ] I told that. [ __ ] shut up [ __ ] they're not. on the phone dude I know you got to walk. by them like please don't make eye. contact please don't [ __ ] spit on me. yeah told you my friend did the best. thing ever when they were around a dude. who was just completely losing it and he. was screaming like locking eyes with. people and he was like yo sorry about it. was his fault the guy like locked eyes. with his friend and he's walked away and. he was like [ __ ] you dude you [ __ ]. [ __ ] oh my God he's like dude it was. his. yeah that would work I know there's the.

[ __ ] that's the that's the guy. who's the cause of all my problems it. was that that [ __ ] was so [ __ ] funny. of just watch I'd never seen a Target. like that they got to be pumped for. Springtime oh dude they get like a month. or two grace period here before it gets. swelteringly high well their whole life. makes sense they get two-month period. where it's like your life makes sense if. you get 24 pack of gushers you just. stole from CVS little bag of that sweet. stuff your girl pick you out a shirt go. to the park just lay in the grass you. don't even need the park everywhere's.

the park at that point they were they. were they were camped out in the parking. lot itself yeah so there was like you. know those strips of grass like when. then like the parking dividers dude they. had their H their clothes hanging on. like a little shitty tree and they were. just laying in the grass yeah it was. pretty [ __ ] nuts I Denver had a nice. little tent tent going yeah one of the. parks was just a [ __ ] Hooverville. yeah dang they're going to tear it down. soon are they really making legislation. everyone's excited about it yeah yeah I. get it I'd be excited but also like what. are you going to do dude you could buy.

do all these people everyone keeps. saying house the homeless and it's like. dude you could you like is it a biodome. like what are we working with here are. we just going to put them in a Rison and. like act like them being in a rison's. not going to be a problem like they're. not going to you know what I mean they I. think they did that here I think they. did that a lot of places during Co they. were like just toss him the tail toss. them which doesn't make any sense yeah I. don't get it why during Co did we house. the homeless I don't know oh it was. because they were roaming around like. going like two feet from people that was.

when you really saw how much people. cared I remember like dude there's all. these guys that stand on Columbus. Boulevard and people roll their window. down give them the dollar during Co the. window is up and people were just they. didn't get paid anything I'm sure for. money I you know the part of me thinks. it's probably just we got some. Kickbacks they're like we have a budget. of 10 billion dollar we need to help. with Co true we'll just say uh renting. the Radison cost 3 million yeah it. actually cost was 100 Grand we to keep.

that yeah they kicked them back out. didn't they as soon as came out yeah. they you could do it my thing is you. could do it it's like then what I mean. just maybe just give him some tube. Tommy's ex lived down there oh yeah I. forgot and in her like across the street. from her they just turned it into the. homeless center of the city Jesus so. like every day she was out there and. like people were just screaming all day. yeah you should I mean this destroyed. your house this is a tough take but but. it should be if you become like not like.

you know there's like they talk about. like housing insecure when like a dude's. crashing on couches it's like bro that's. not to me that's not homeless I get it. you don't have a crib sucks but you're. not with the Bros dude yeah that's what. I mean I've heard it before like oh. there's like a quarter of people who are. homeless it's like no not having a house. sucks I get that but like I'm talking. about the true dudes yeah the true dudes. who just walk around all day in a park. and have not even in a part a couch to. crack screaming yeah dude those are. tough dudes that level what do we do. with them that level of homo should be. an exch country exchange yeah we're just.

like yo we hit you we could we could. send him to Cuba yeah we'll take your. best bright I'm saying we do a swap. we'll take one of your best and. brightest and you get like four Dudes. who are just going to stand around and. scream in a plaza it's like what you. know yeah it's not a bad deal it's like. you got to give these dudes just like a. rice cake every day we'll take one of. kids into America and you'll have to now. just [ __ ] just Mard like homeless. dudes you're like a Filipino farmer dude.

you have five dudes step yeah just. screaming [ __ ] imagine instead of. waking up to a rooster just being like. [ __ ] it's time to get up yeah I. mean that's not the best take in the. world but no I don't there's no an I. mean it's up to them that's the only. real answer is like you can't sit you. know you can't can't do heroin you can't. do heroin it's like and if adults. completely lose the ability to care for. themselves someone's either going to. have to to dedicate their entire lives.

to going through their assisted daily. activities or whatever of living or. those dudes are going to like [ __ ]. stroke out on the street cuz like yeah. it sucks when dudes lose their mind and. can't function it [ __ ] sucks it seems. to be what everyone's doing is just. waiting them out be like they're going. to die yeah man or they're or they're. going to figure out they're not going to. die they don't die no or well they do. there's just a lot of them there are and. there's more they might die and come. back dude I think there's more every day. I think they die and are just like. well they're getting they'll probably.

figure out some sort of like drug to put. them on to kind of completely like. pacify them I think that's going to. what's going to happen heroin true. heroin takes him out for a while well. dude did you hear my the my theory right. now with the heroin is that I I think. the drug companies are going to Lobby. the us or whoever however that works. they're going to they're taking out the. cartels right now I think the. pharmaceutical companies are going to. start legalizing heroin in like 10 years. yeah 10 years those guys will have legal. prescriptions if so I I think like fizer.

is going to be making clinical somebody. just didn't Elon just say that I don't. know somebody yeah was like if we. legalize these drugs there's not going. to be overdoses yeah well we can we can. they did it in England they did it in. England like I think like I don't know. the 1920s or something where they like. tossed the Bros you would come in for. prescription they' give you clean her. like safe heroin they they like measured. out for you and they'd be like all right. dude you sure you want to stop doing. this and apparently it worked like. really well so so they say in the book.

Chasing the scream but yeah dude I think. F and it probably be a good thing though. but I think they're going to lock up the. cartels aren't they already like locking. those Bros up right now and I don't know. I think it's very difficult sure I mean. because they control the government yeah. true but if you I mean it's one of those. things you could PP it pretty easily. yeah be like especially if they're like. dude it's billions of dollars so you. send in Special Forces to be like all. right yo these guys that's dude the. United States military could destroy. cartels in like 2 seconds. at least I would think so yeah but they.

I think there's enough people in America. making money off of it true yeah and the. entire Mexican government's making money. off of it yeah it's tough yeah they'd be. tough enemies to have too from a. political standpoint lad yeah the lads. we don't want war with the lads dude. there are we're going to need the lads I. know especially China and Russia teaming. up they don't want that though what if. we Normandy China with a bunch of lads. Unstoppable yeah that would be. absolutely Unstoppable instead of. [ __ ] uh CCR playing you just hear.

[ __ ] you know that'd be fun belas hey. they would be you think they you think. they have a stronger military Mexico. yeah they're such hard I mean you know. they get after it they do they have some. Beast they have beast but they all join. the [ __ ] cartel true all the like. heads of the cartel's like security and. [ __ ] or former like. generals I wonder I wonder if they'll. pay them off I wonder if they'll be like. look you guys are not cartels you're. actually production facilities fiser is.

going to control the distribution of all. the world's heroin I mean I guess they. would be like. no can't have a ball that's a he that. would be awesome I think that's going to. happen for them they'd be like all right. nice now we all don't die and go to jail. yeah we'll just keep making heroin you. and then you could just like but then. they're going to get they're going to. get hit with salaries they're going to. be like actually you guys make 60 Grand. a year now yeah no. no I'm the yeah true like all right well. we're going to make it illegal or we're. going to make illegal stuff sell it.

cheaper I mean they also might be like. we'll make it we'll make it we're going. to make it legally and come down here. and I'll call my friends in the Pentagon. they'll bomb you guys I I think again. maybe not but I have a feeling that's. going to happen pretty dude it's. billions it's billions of dollars and. it's it's not going to be hard in 15. years to legalize her it's going to be. actually probably really easy more and. more of those 10 cities coming up. there'll be some guys going to come up. and be like we need to do something. about this and this needs to be Humane. we need to do something about these. homeless. that dude what's his name Pearson.

Pearson yeah that's that's was. uncomfortable dude it making me. uncomfortable yeah well it was just Fe I. mean again I I this obviously sounds. like [ __ ] for me to say but it seems. fake dude yeah the shots on six people. you can you can kind of tell when. there's no one attending a thing to just. way shot you're like yeah there's nobody. there I don't know I I don't know enough. about it yet but yes hearing somebody. talk like they're from the 6s yeah it'd. be like if there was a white politician. now like M say what we're going to do. say like wait why are you talking. talking like that all of a sudden it's. kind of the Leon Bridges effect Leon.

Bridges is a bit of a time capsule who's. that he sings uh he's like a black dude. who sings like very Soulful older R&B. and it's the music's fantastic then you. actually I saw an interview with him and. he's like it's like he's from the 1930s. like gav van Fleet is that is that now. that other band that just is doing lead. Zeppelin I was like listen to it it's. pretty good that people get so mad. they're pretty I like them lead singer. is a lot in acquir and I'm an acquired. taste Le singer I'm in a he does. something to me I like that boy.

something about that leader I like dude. I was hoping it was a girl he's cute. really he's a little cutie how new how. new is greet ofan Fleet I think they're. old so they took they took the mantle of. wizard Rock basically yeah they just do. lead Zeppelin and kind of Rush that's. kind of sick actually yeah it's like. it's a lead Zeppelin cover band but. that's awesome what's wrong with some. more Zep dude dude I mean that's what I. don't get people still need to get I was. saying I was talking to Billy about it. he was like [ __ ] that [ __ ] you that [ __ ]. sucks they're just it's a lead Zeppelin. cover band I was like what's wrong with.

getting more lead Zeppelin yeah dude now. we get new lead Zeppelin get the lead. out dude yeah yeah I don't uh I liked I. liked them the singer was and again I. have to give it because like I I like. Neil Young And I know Neil Young's an. acquired taste for people vocally so I. can like I can get down with like an. acquired taste you know singer but she. that she I sucked on Bill's. deck I [ __ ] his. [ __ ] what are you looking at L you. like that boy you don't like that boy I. see the face. agre with my fleet Matt played we tried.

it we both listened to it yeah they yeah. I thought it was all girls I didn't know. no it's cute. boys I had it had me and then that guy. would sing again I go [ __ ] man something. yeah I liked it one day on a plane. that's when I was texting you I was like. this shit's good and then I landed and. started listening to it again I was like. I was wrong well dude I I was talking to. uh the dude standing outside the hotel. you're at it was like we were talking. about Spotify you went inside and I was. like the valet dude and I'm like we're.

talking Spotify and I was like bro he. was like I can't I can't listen to music. anymore I'm like yo I have a hard time. dude like I don't like now that I have. total control over like what I can. listen to whenever I get bored quickly. yeah it's hard the only thing I listen. to now is the I listen to Shane chillis. playlist dude nice Shane chillis is. growing I can only listen to like. Electronica pop like Chevy Cruz all new. Chevy CR all new Chevy Cruz the Mauer. was M you gave him the mcer that was. whole new genre music I didn't listen I. didn't ever listen to before gay EDM.

that's all I can listen to now is like. Rufus Soul just gay EDM I put it on the. morning and make breakfast for my whole. family music so nice it's the only music. left it's literally really is I try to. listen to [ __ ] uh like the Spotify. new rap playlist and [ __ ] every song. just blows. yeah getting old dude did you get into. the Spotify D AI DJ now no Spotify has a. feature where it's like hey what's up. man this is the DJ and like he like I've. come I've taken some of your blasts from.

the past combin them and there's like a. DJ that'll talk to you and put together. a playlist so far it's been it's all. right yeah it's pretty cool it's kind of. funny though it's like what's up man I'm. the Spotify DJ it's like d this just. Josh Adam. Myers hey man but yeah dude I I'm. telling you reminds me of that Canadian. [ __ ] oh you guys weren't there what. Canadian strip club DJ it's like oh Bud. look how hot she is no that's what he. did the whole time what who's the best. he the worst yeah he wasn't an American. like coming up the stage give up this.

guy was literally just a Canadian bro. just like boys look at her boobs oh yeah. what she's so hot boy look at all the. naked ladies around here boys he was. horn out it was awesome yeah. occasionally you just hear him like oh. yeah so he was DJ and MC and he was MC. and too yeah American strip club DJ. sound like they're like punching. themselves in the nuts the entire time. oh yeah oh oh oh.

[ __ ] oh god oh boy I got I got to go. back to the [ __ ] gymnasium today do. you really yeah I'm not excited about it. dude it is once you're there it's the. best dude it's going to feel good no. actually today is going to suck I. haven't worked out in like a month yeah. but still get rocked dude you feel so. that's the only thing my body sore on a. plane tomorrow I'm going to have my sore. ass in hamstrings plane for [ __ ] six. hours yeah go to [ __ ] Vancouver you. going to VC yeah damnn that sucks far as.

[ __ ] yeah it's the farthest place ever. yeah for real it'd be like flying to. [ __ ] like Brazil how far yeah Brazil. is about that actually yeah didn't we no. didn't we connect in Vancouver for. Australia yeah yeah it was like a [ __ ] 6. hour [ __ ] flight and it's like all. right now we got to cross the Pacific. Ocean it's like. [ __ ] that was that was terrible that. flight yeah yeah it it was insane told. you I had heart palpitations for like. seven days afterwards yeah that was a. negative EXP experience yeah dude. Australia was sick but that flight I was.

just dreading the flight back dude it's. the jetl coming back from there I've. never I've ever heard I thought jet lag. was just a thing people made up I'd. always like yeah I guess I'm a little. tired from flying back from the only. time the only time I get is a late show. on the west coast yeah the first day. yeah when you fly out there and then. you're like oh [ __ ] it's 3:00 a.m. back. home that's why I'm [ __ ] dead face. feels hot and [ __ ] yeah you're just on. [Music]. stage yawning between.

jokes dude you heard it here first I do. think legal legal heroin legal heroin. fiser yeah I think I think one of them. is going to control that'll be another. billion dollar entry right now it's the. vaxes I think are going to be like they. tried them dude they're killing my mom. the vaxes my mom's still getting VX. booties she's getting boosts yes she I I. was like I told you stop the booster is. like booster is basically. yeah just ripping off old people you're.

getting it for some reason yeah cuz they. still TR they trust doctors like they. you know you would think they're right. they go in the doctor's like yeah you. could looks like you could use another. booster it's been three weeks don't you. shoot that [ __ ] back in you I like talk. to my dad like what's your cable plan. he's like it's like $750 I'm like dude. stop paying this D it works for me I. just steal everything Phil has HBO Max I. get to watch the fils I steal $400 worth. of fil [ __ ]. dude he has no idea I'm like dude you.

don't need he's like yeah but it's right. there you flck you talk to my remote I'm. like and that never they're like. Philly's. baseball God damn it Comcast sports. network it's like you requested Paw. Patrol God damn it it's like an Indian. spelling. me I'm interacting with technology they. can't I'm I I it's coming for us. I checked out a while ago I don't know.

how to do this all this this is foreign. yeah it's yeah I'm not operating on Lam. Mer's level Lam mer is a knowledgeable. fell dude Lam mer I'd like you to get. involved in this I'm feeling a little. sleepy I'd like you to tell us a fun. story I don't have any nothing crazy's. happened really nothing nothing crazy. just from like your heart and soul like. what do you been feeling lately why. don't you come sit over here we got to. monitor all this stuff will something. [ __ ] up isn't it good to go I think so.

but I don't want to stuff [ __ ] up during. the show no but you know I just don't. want it to I I guess all right no it's. okay you don't have to do. it I want the people to see you though I. like when they look at you true you're a. fun guy to look at we're all in our. shorts today yeah it's shorts time dude. I'll be wearing socks sandals gym shorts. and a baseball jersey the remainder of. this this summer as you should yeah I. was kind of until football season then. it's noted aim time yeah long sleeve. come back out dude I got discombobulated. day in the warm weather where it was. just like just warm all of a sudden I'm.

walking around and there just like yeah. part of me in my head is I'm excited to. get jockage as I do every time it gets. hot now I I hit the baby powder yeah I. hit it early does that give you [ __ ]. nut cancer no way they gives you sweet. nuts dude I think you got to check that. out really I think they keep getting. sued like every [ __ ] week I thought I. thought just babies couldn't breathe in. talcum really I thought it was just. cornstarch search that for me brother. yeah check it out look up Johnson and. Johnson's bibbit powder. yeah it's just I just sprayed on my.

grundle dude I forgot about time dude. it's like shards of glass gr something's. wrong with my ass and grundle what's. wrong with your I don't know I told you. it hurts your like the my grundle has. been itching really like out of control. oh hopefully you don't have eczema bro. oh no I have B of excema every now and. again it took me forever to figure out. what it is yeah I'll just yeah I'll be. hanging out like before bed I'll just go. to [ __ ] town on my gu you might have. the exies you might have some exies bro. just listening to a book on tape about. Adolf I'm still listening to it how is. it I don't know I fall asleep every time.

so I I'm just lost guy bad guy how is it. it turns out he was not. great beginning of the book you're like. God this guy's on to. something he lost a plot I found the. information they have uh they recently. settled for9 billion for because their. baby powder causes cancer all the the. baby powder does Johnson and Johnson yep. I thought breathing it in was was. [ __ ] him up I thought there's like. asbestos in it what. [ __ ] I'll get off of then I'll start.

putting cornstarch I have some tamales. underneath my [ __ ] gr there's nothing. we can do dude I have what the H am I. supposed to I'm not going to V my. [ __ ] I'm just going to keep doing it. I do tons of [ __ ] that causes cancer. yeah how the [ __ ] was baby powder I mean. maybe for babies no it's dudes dude's. nuts are getting [ __ ] yes you're. getting nut cancer from tossing baby. powder on that sucks that does sck. that's like the greatest feeling in the. world I guess I guess dude it's my nuts. are sweating right now dude I I put it. on this morning and I was sliding dude I. was [ __ ] walking like oh my.

God I was gliding this morning oh that's. a good feeling that felt really good. what I just did yeah aired it out having. a little dick fan would be. nice you heard us sheath dude a little. just a little thing you put right here a. battery power that goes right up your. shorts smell the whole room. up make sure the room the whole room. you're in smells like nut sweat. maybe your dick has to sweat like that.

like you know like that's the argument. against deodorant it's like your lymph. nodes are all up here and your body's. like pushing moisture out and you just. literally it's like sealing a door. you're sealing a door in your body and. there's water that has to get out it's. probably deodorant it probably is bad. for people everything's bad dude true. smelling like [ __ ] is also bad smelling. like shit's way worse for your health. yeah true now everyone doesn't like you. and that has severe ramifications on. your health trust me I know why they. hate you cuz you break why when you. break out of the Matrix dude they.

[ __ ] hate you dude everyone hates. when you break out of the [ __ ] Matrix. we might have to break out of the New. York Matrix yeah that'd be tight could. be time dude could be we'll see yeah it. could be we'll see true stay tuned stay. tuned stay tuned gotcha going to Alaska. we're moving to Alaska would be awesome. it's the new comedy Hub Alaska. Juno just get ripped part by bears dude. I I I was thinking about taking a.

speaking of Disappearing my physical. body yeah I was actually thinking last. night I was I've been stressed bro I've. been [ __ ] lot understand so stressed. but I was like trying to see if there's. amount of OIC you could take to just. reduce 100% of your body mass I want to. take the new [ __ ] fat medicine and. disappear dude yeah redu does it reduce. like bone mass zero yeah I want to. completely disappear just get the mega. shot of a zic and just go I bet you. could do like shortening surgeries like.

what like like take like no no like take. like giant chunks out of my femur and. shin bone and start taking chunks out of. my arm take some vertebraes out I. thought you were saying getting a life. you get see if you can see if you can. just eliminate most of your. body like a life reduction yeah physical. reduction keep fat though I had someone. drill a hole in my gallbladder to reduce. 10 years off my life oh.

yeah I had my spleen ruptured yeah I I. went to the doctors they poked a hole in. my. head that eased a lot of my. problems yeah I got bugged out the other. day on that [ __ ] of uh what the [ __ ] was. I I saw I mean I saw the oamic that was. one thing and I think it was I think it. was the shots in the oam I was there was. the article and they were like I mean. yeah obviously people gain weight but. it's not your fault we're around all. these high calorie nutrient or high.

calorie foods sedentary lifestyle and I. think they are really priming people to. completely give up and it's be like dude. sit down relax nothing's your fault you. have no power over anything just accept. it sweet we'll take care of you thank. you just vote yeah I'm telling you it's. coming it's coming and it's like yes. it's pretty understandable dude dude by. the time by the time the Civil War does. erupt in America just the fats dude the. fats the dude dude fat sub machine guns.

it'll be a charge it'll be the first. time in a battle everyone stops a. quarter of the way and they're. like it'll be like moving Ro casualty. rates on just crossing the battlefield. we this crazy we lost an entire bagade. sir World dude World War III I'm just. the fattest dude I'm just my mobility. scooters coming across the. planes battle dud lasers dud on [ __ ].

SC evaporating it'll be Star Wars it'll. be fat dudes in the robots [ __ ]. attacking each other. yeah I don't like it I don't like where. this country is headed it's dude it's a. it's a problem of personal agency. they're putting out like it's not your. fault you had no control you can't help. it everything's set in stone I'm going. like God damn that's so [ __ ] dismal. yeah that's the best part of being a. human being we're the only animals that.

can like hijack our own biology and. [ __ ] get in there and reflect and. they're being like nah that's not really. a thing you're you're you're predisposed. to just [ __ ] eating these. snacks yeah I mean the snacks are good. the snacks are good made snacks dude I S. the Mir up here I have more and more I. have more and more empathy now or. sympathy for like we're listening to. Hunter Biden book him talking about just. like abusing bottles of alcohol yeah. every day that passes I go I can see why. alcohol gets you I every day that every.

yeah every day that passes I'm like all. rules dude but yeah you can't be. drinking bottles of vodka in your garage. but I get it dude I get it cuz they did. what they did was [ __ ] up when they. tricked people with the one or two. drinks a day or not only safe but better. for you that is tricky dude because you. can have two drinks and it's like yeah. you can not drink I know that's what I'm. saying pretty good for you for sure but. they were like they did a study saying. but then what then what what do you want. to live forever come on man well the. arguments of that are if you drink you. tend to be around people more and being. around people actually extends your life.

so people were like yeah I should. totally have [ __ ] three glasses you. drink a lot and you're around the worst. people and one of them stabs you short. your life you're getting. stabbed yeah I was uh because it is I. dude it's it's very funny because you. can be like [ __ ] I can have three. beers every day yeah and it instantly is. it's like your whole afternoon morphs. and you go this is great shit's good. every single time hey I don't have to. pay those bills [ __ ]. them I'll do it tomorrow you wake.

up dude it's a strong I'm I'm like. between the cell phone of just giving. your you can lose three hours of your. day bro I when I was home I went to my. parents house on Sunday or Monday mhm I. stayed on the phone I was on my phone. for a day awesome no it sucked dud I had. like a freak. out crazy you start feeling sick yeah. start feeling very sick open an app. close it open it again go on the go on. the like messages on Instagram close. Instagram open just regular Instagram.

like it was nuts I watched a dude do. that when I was flying I was looking. over his seat that was after the Travis. Scott incident and he was coming from. what's it called what's his thing called. AST world he was all Astro worlded out. and he was like on the phone like. talking about Astra world the whole time. and it was kind of funny he was like if. you're not there you don't understand. what he was like speaking up on behalf. of AST defending AST he was defending. aser the day after he was tired of all. the hit pieces dude literally did I. watched him going Facebook email. Facebook email Facebook Instagram and. and I was like what a weirdo I catch.

myself doing that too I just go dude. you're going I have to stop and ask. myself like what do you what are you. what is your goal right now with your. phone and what are you looking for and I. go I don't know and just. [ __ ] dude it's [ __ ] bad you toss. in you have the cell phone you checked. out toss in the O where my cell phone I. want to look at it I know dude it's. [ __ ] I want to look at reals there's. probably something new on there you. haven't seen fun dog video dancing dude. I go I get into it cuz I go I got to see. the news might something worthwhile. there must be something for me to you. know I need to know what's going on in.

the news now next thing I'm scrolling. Instagram ads being like why is that on. my feet and I go where the [ __ ] am are. yeah it's tough dude tossing some. beautiful babies I don't have beautiful. babies luckily I I have essentially. escaped that algorithm but they hop in. they get you they still they my. beautiful angels still show up how do. they find how do they find you I don't. know I'm usually watching dog videos and. they pop up dogs and horrific accidents. but then sweet Billy was said he's been. falling to the beautiful babies on. Billy's whole algorithm is that his.

beautiful babies yeah man but that's. what happens the beautiful baby comes up. and go what the hell I'd like to look at. her profile you click the profile now. you're locked you're in yeah you're. right man you know what that's. like yeah I I thought CU I went to my. reals the one time I thought there was. just going to be beautiful babies there. was no beautiful babies at all that was. the time I had to go get my uh penis. checked out by dermatologist so I. figured I'd look at some beautiful. babies in the waiting room oh you want. to get a little blood going little blood. flowing I didn't find any beautiful.

babies then they're like uh next they. called me back and went no I have the. smallest penis on earth that's why I'm. here dude I the smallest leprosy penis. like what's wrong with your penis. there's a rash on it and it's immen it's. so small the rash has been shrinking my. penis something's gone wrong rash shrunk. my penis people usually gasp when they. see it FL it but now it just looks like. this tiny little kid penis on an adult's. body and I have pimples on my belly. [ __ ] can you help that [ __ ] yeah it was.

the worst dude it was so and I'd been. there before for a penis rash so I'd be. like hey I swear this isn't some weird. Kink I have like it's actually a weird R. I'm not going back I'm done I can't go. back you can't you just got to let your. penis rot oh I figured out what it was. now they she did diagnose it the. beautiful angels did diagnose and cure. my penis out out of pure Mercy yeah dude. out of pure Mercy dude just F yeah. little just a [ __ ] little like a deli. sandwich stick just lifted it up yeah. and they use it on the next person they. say.

ah that' be funny too I should go back. and go I have a latex. allergy please use your hands touch my. rashed penis touch my rashed my [ __ ]. decrepit penis breathe life into my tiny. rashed penis can you give my penis. CPR yeah that was the wor do you have. any surgeries that could kill me can you. cut my penis off like a c it could. freeze it off like a wart dude you could. freeze your penis straight off can you.

get the wart gun and just freezes wart. off my body I call my penis gu what. insurance covers that. now guess what dude that's going on. today's episode is sponsored by. Honey the easy way to save when shopping. on your iPhone or computer saving money. feels amazing I love it it's always. awesome to find a promo code I love it. especially in today's economy spending. is top of Mind who the [ __ ] typed this.

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drenched now let's get back dude let's. get back to the show be ready for 420. with the best pipes bongs and bubblers. from freeze pipe celebrate with the. coldest and smoothest smoking experience. you'll ever have freeze pipe products. come with a freezable glycerin chamber. pop that bad boy in the freezer for an. hour and watch as it chills the smoke. for an icy puff that's easy on your. lungs dude honestly they sent us a. tornado bomb and freeze pipe stuff does. rule it does cool the smoke it's.

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freezing freezing off the W treatment. Abomination I call penis why did God. curse me with this I might I might have. a penis for another time I think my. penis was more I have a village penis no. you have a futuristic penis you think I. have a future oh yeah these are future. penis like the tiny cell phones yes I. feel like he's going to be flopping. dongs in the future dude we're going to. get the what do you think's coming after. a zic dude it's GNA be on it's gonna be. dong zic dude they're com it's coming. Dawn control is coming. dude full Dawn control is you tell me.

fiser has the power to give whites giant. penises that's probably the thing. they're sitting on maybe we need to. support them instead of mocking them for. their disastrous I dude I'd be calling. my family i''d be like guys seriously. you really got to support this they have. our bester trust them get the booster. mom get it until you definitely have a. stroke get a dong. booster oh dude I I'd run the risk I'd. be triple. like I'd have a glass visor on i' be.

bother my family screaming on a flight. where wear your. mask this is helping our. penises get your hands off my. penis this is democracy. manifest I see you know your Judo well. that's the bloke that's got me by the. penis. oh man that guy [ __ ] rules dude who's. that guy there a [ __ ] Australian guy.

they arrested one time he's like on. enjoying a meal a succulent Chinese meal. yeah I saw that I see you know your Judo. well get your hands off my. penis T and. farewell that's the Boke that's got me. by the. penis yeah it's getting to that it's. getting very sad because it's like. anyone trying to do anything meaningful. this looks. absurd I was thinking about the pearcing.

guy I know it's yeah this guy he's out. there trying to help trying to enact you. sound like a [ __ ] well it's also it. does look absurd yeah it looks like. they're all standing up there cosplaying. it doesn't seem like it's driven by I. don't know maybe that's my I know we're. not allow gaze we're not allowed to. speak on it but you see the king talk. and you go yeah dude millions of people. standing there he's at the reflection. pool who oh Martin Luther you see him. talking you're like yeah it's pretty. legit you watch that and you go this. seems kind of [ __ ] weird yeah it. seems like you're yeah whatever well.

it's also like what it's against gun. rights it's like yeah dude yeah it's. against gun rights it's like all right. dude [ __ ] yeah don't have any no more. disband the NRA go ahead go for it yeah. take him away take all the. guns take the guns I don't have any guns. I got I so close to buying a cool gun. this past weekend well the problem is. with the gun legislation it's like. they're guns it's like we're going to. take the gun it's like well you got to. get them off of dudes who want to shoot. stuff so it's like yeah get ready leave.

them be yeah or or cap them just cap in. this economy where dudes are ready to. die yeah true eggs are four bucks or. something true what the [ __ ] eggs dude. eggs are like [ __ ] I mean some eggs. are like they're they's testing the. upper limits you can get a 9.99 dozen of. eggs but it's like it it's like dude lit. a decent deal like we fing I mean to be. fair I know it's not a good deal to be. Fair there are eggs dude it's like it's. like we fingered these eggs we' grab.

these chickens and we would [ __ ]. finger them every day and let them run. them mile I know it's not a good deal. but $9.99 for a dozen that's $9.99 for. three four minutes dollar per egg dude. yeah that that's my thing with eggs dude. it's like or even food in general. they're like food costs are going to. become 40% of your it's like should be. 40% food cost is 90% of my money yeah it. should be grub up dude it's the most. important [ __ ] you can have and it's. like food cost is creeping up to 14 % of. people's incomes it's like dude between. a house and food Jes should be like you.

know obviously you should have stuff. left over but like I don't know I was. just thinking about my money people see. in my. GrubHub they see the GH they might have. to see my GrubHub for tax per like if. I'm on the road and I order food it's. write off don't don't release it like. Trump's tax I'm going to have to hold on. to that they're going to say you spent. $48,000 on [ __ ] grub this year what. redact it I had to redact it they redact. what redact the and just let them redact. what they are CIA [ __ ] block them out.

yeah' be sick yeah maybe that's a maybe. that's a stupid take but I always did. think that food when they were like it. was surprisingly low every time I. checked what percentage of people's. income food was I'm like could probably. be up above your car you know more. slightly more important I guess you need. the car to get food do you ever think. about that in order to have [ __ ] kids. you got to work in order to work you got. to put your kids in daycare what's the. point of any of this [ __ ] dude you know. what I'm saying ever [ __ ] think about. that you got to buy food you got to have. food in order to have a family you got.

to have food in order to have kids you. got to work in order to work you got to. send your kids daycare who even get to. see anyone you know what I mean yeah. stinks especially when you see the. babies in daycare dude that always. [ __ ] freaks me man oh the there's. Babies there's infants dude you can have. a kid and like just drop it off at a. daycare like two weeks you got work got. to get back there I think no I think. there's might be like three month I. think two months or three months you can. be. like all right I'm gonna go resume my. life I'll pick this little [ __ ] up. yeah you can just kind of do that the. whole time mean it costs [ __ ] you can.

leave cost thousands of dollars you can. drop your kids off at a [ __ ]. orphanage I thought I I envisioned I was. sitting there the other day I envisioned. a like a an article people someone could. write that was basically like white. collar deadbeat parents where it's like. I mean again it's such shitty thing too. but dude you walk in there I'm walking. in there I'm like this is wrong I get. you have to do it yeah dude like it is I. mean if it it it works I I'll say this. if you're into the whole like this is. what humans should do men are Haunter.

gatherers women are it's like dude. that's what they did they dropped the. kids off in the village we got to go hun. or gather no that is true but I don't. buy in I don't like all that I that's. the the whole country got into the mumbo. jumbo of like as humans this is we're. supposed to do this yeah shut up yeah. true I actually thought about what how. funny that' be it always bothered me if. like Chris Ryan came out it's like we. actually are supposed to eat women we're. not supposed to live with them we're. supposed to [ __ ] them and eat them yeah. so that there it breeds aent you people. talk about like what was going through a. caveman's head he's like this is what.

they were thinking yeah this is the. caveman diet [ __ ] Twigs it's like. well we got out of. that why not go back further let's go. back to primordial soup yeah true we all. come from primordial soup as soup you. should be at the bottom of the ocean. sucking on [ __ ] volcanic gas coming. out of an. abyss it's like stop why are we going. back true always forward dude that's. what I'm talking about yeah I don't want. to I don't want to you know the modern. man should be sitting on a plush couch. playing Xbox ordering GrubHub not using.

ideally not using your body whatsoever. hardly using your body we're we're. basically Zord we're both zordons dude. it's purely full. Zordon that's. gay Now give me money for Taco. Bell but yeah I it's such a touchy. subject I don't I don't want to see. because I have my kids in daycare but. it's like dude it's like you gotta get. them in there bro you got let socialize.

do and did it's a good thing but when I. see the babies you got get you gotta let. them get [ __ ] legioner disease they. do just foot and mouth foot mouth yeah. they get hand foot and mouth dude trench. [ __ ] wiping their butt and they're. just like they like do they get [ __ ]. herpes in there what the hell they get. like ass sores from hand foot and mouth. yeah they get herpes all the kids got to. go get some herpes got get their immune. system going get them [ __ ] chickenpox. dude here's the thing it has worked it's. what she started talking it does work. it's a very good thing just every day I. walk past the baby room and I go maybe. the baby maybe this is cool it just.

freaks me I go like is this aass is this. a massive mstep just I mean you have you. have to do it you have to do it it's you. know it's better than just like letting. it slowly die on a rock yeah but I just. go man you. know that Happ like I don't want this. one I'm going to take it in the woods. leave it on a rock go back to the. [ __ ] Village like nothing that. [ __ ] dog came out of nowhere you Tre. your baby like your cell phone like. where the hell did I put my baby [ __ ]. I'll get a new one yeah there's a new.

one next year this is going to be. [ __ ] but yeah again I just that's. some that's my own guilt I'm projecting. on because I walk in there I go [ __ ]. yeah I think that's your guilt cuz. that's yeah nothing that's what I'm. saying people not only do I think it's. nothing I think it's probably decent for. the kid now an infant in a [ __ ] just. laying in a room do PE I peek in PE. iness there 12 little infants just like. there just two ladies just tending to. them like a [ __ ] Colony just like hey. you hey yeah but I guess they get to. play with each other I don't understand.

how women are they are capable of that. of all day with babies yeah I think when. I drop whenever I drop my off I think I. I'm like I could stay here all day and. talk to these guys but it must make you. go nuts dude that's why women have. childlike brains they have to be able to. communicate with the. children I mean there is something be. said for that I think it's true I think. only only women could sit with a kid all. day and be like what what was your. story why you know the sky is blue it's.

like oh wow it's funny cuz I'm actually. way better at that than Britney oh. really I'm I can sit and talk I can see. you being a good you'd be good to talk. to kids I can talk to a child for you're. also very inquisitive sure the kid will. hit you with some stuff that you're like. whoa oh dude all I never thought about. that either all the time why the [ __ ] do. Dalmations have. spots I don't. know yes it's every they like I tried to. I tried to hang out with kids this. weekend not not a i they're they're.

great obviously they're fun to be around. but for sure I took Anthony and leyah to. the park disaster really Anthony dude no. just like my old dog doesn't respects me. yeah Anthony has zero because he knows. I'm [ __ ] around all the time he. literally we get to the park he just. Sprints to the other side just I was. like Anthony come. back no I like God damn it a me I can't. hit you I'm obviously not in your.

family yeah yeah that's it is INF. especially when you're like dude it's. like I never took a kid to the [ __ ] a. park dude it's so weird yeah any second. they could [ __ ] die beautiful moms. are all around yeah dude I'm just you. know I'm a good guy the vibe's crazy. though Vibe is crazy the vibe's [ __ ]. crazy but I'm watching Anthony go bother. little girls well dud trying so hard to. talk to them like that's tag you're it. like a 10-year-old like get off and. they're like leave us alone you're weird.

he's like dag you're it kep touching. them beast that's kind of sick yeah it. was awesome yeah there there was like a. uh if once you have kids it's like you. do have like a multiplied kind of. insecurity thing of like you know are we. like a like I worry a lot that like my. family is just like a ridiculous because. you start talking to people and you're. like people seem like they have it. together like is my family just like a a. failed triangle yeah failed just like a. leppo just mental Aleppo just wandering. [ __ ].

morons just a full unit of idiots dude. every so you have you start there are. plenty of those families yeah dude you. start bopping around like you know there. that's got to be a Continuum there's. definitely if I can notice that about. other families I'm like there's got to. be families that are scoping me out. being like Jesus Christ definitely but. then you have like you have like the. rich families growing up dude the. orthodontist families oh it's crazy they. look at your shitty family they're like. ha yeah it's nice key you [ __ ] drunk. idiots yeah like a dentist and like all. their kids are just completely even.

killed smart every kid's handsome and. smart it's a 4.9 GPA yeah like how come. I can't be like them yeah remember your. dad's like dad's like I'll kick his ass. he beat his [ __ ] ass okay Shane I'll. tell you what when these kids don't. listen I beat their ass yeah I hit them. see the orthodontist just going oh boy. oh that's strange wow my children listen. probably because I didn't strike them so. often they're not afraid to return to.

the. house cuz they don't dude yeah I would. do that I would run away yeah yeah you. have go outside Phil would be like get. in here i' be like I'm not coming in. there you're going to hit me yeah not. doing it get in here [ __ ] just full of R. hit well that's why you can't dude you. really can't hit kids because it's like. even if you're like I'm trying I dude I. I yeah it's dud these kids for an hour. was close [ __ ] hitting it's on the. table even if you're like like come on.

we got to go come on we got to go and. you can pick them up really hard and. like you can like physically jar them. yeah but that did nothing that had no. effect on him I did car I had to carry. him out yeah true I mean Kicking and. Screaming the whole way out of the park. I was like God damn it why did I take. you. here I knew how to trick him though he. was like he was like I'm going to he was. like five more minutes he kept saying. five more minutes I'd be like okay you. got 5 minutes 10 seconds later I'd be. like you're down to 2 minutes he has no. concept of. time and then uh well obviously the deal.

he broke the deal immediately yeah. they're like the pale face oh dude they. they break every [ __ ] treaty they. make they do but he he was [ __ ] I was. like I know how to get him I was like. Aaliyah walk with me so me and Aaliyah I. was like all right you can stay I'm. leave you did the I was like all right. we're going to leave you and he was like. fine he started playing on the park I. was like he's he's not going to like. this I was like aaliah give me your. hands and I swung her in a circle with. her feet off the ground whoa and he was. like he came running over he was like do. me do me I was like no you were bad.

aaliah jump off that tree I'll I'll. catch you jump she jumped off a tree. caught her I told him I was like look. how much fun she has yeah she listen. yeah what' he say he screamed and cried. grabbed me he was punching he was like. do me do me I was like. nope I was like when we get home I'll do. it and then we got to the front yard I. said nope I'm I lied to you like you. lied back at the park yeah dude and I. brought him in I said Katie teach these. kids some [ __ ].

discipline I spent 10 minutes with these. [ __ ] and it was. nuts she is dude she's got four it's. insane yeah it's she's gone yeah you you. I mean imagine she's just a totally. different person obviously she needs to. be yeah dude well it's like so you have. your own day-to-day anxieties and. insecurities bopping around now just. times that by three now you're anxious. and insecure and angry for three it's. you know it's pretty t. but you do get it you do get a kind of. reprieve from yourself at least which.

yeah that'd be [ __ ] nice it's not bad. but then it it'll come full circle where. you'll like make a decision or mistake. and you'll be like oh [ __ ] this impact. [ __ ] I've been an idiot this whole time. yeah and you all this impacts but dude. the funnier thing at the park is when. it's like because you get like I'll be. like damn my family is like [ __ ] dumb. asses we're all mentally a we're. emotionally we can't handle like you. just worry about [ __ ] like that Kevin. Hart had a bit about that oh his his. Squad yeah well it was something about. them all wearing matching sweatsuits to. a [ __ ] like kids party look like.

[ __ ]. idiots but then like you'll so then like. a frisbee got caught in a tree and. you'll see like a dad who can't climb up. the fence to get the tree so I'll be. able to like Scamper up damn it's like. not I'm really not trying to Revel in it. at all but there's part of you that's. just like yes now I get display my. prowess I'm winning the children can see. me yeah dude I would absolutely. go hey guy from the dumb family CL CL a. tree I got it I dude he yo he didn't. even have to ask I saw it I went I got.

it I got to like climb a fence on home I. was like honey there was an idiot at the. park. today I watched him climb a [ __ ] tree. I climbed a fence and flip flops and. like jumped onto the thing and knocked. it down Prett kids like ah it it's. pretty sick so I was like you know we. got to make up got to make your kids. proud we got to make up for what we're. lacking yeah yeah I don't think you're. lacking I think you got a good unit we. do have a good unit you got a good unit. you're a great guy dude I live in. [ __ ] like it's all doctors my. neighbors are so I like walk them just. you know how much cooler that is that. you get a doctor's salary from this true.

that is sick like would you go to school. sweet yeah nice I went to school too I. went to grad school for fun I yeah I. don't know why I got a degree I knew. when I was getting it I don't need this. degree I know I just didn't want to look. like a loser dude I just I should have. never graduated college yeah it would. have been cool can you go back and get. your credits like revoked so that you're. not a gradate I go back and say I was. cheating I cheated the whole time is. that way you B never take this degree. from me college boy yeah I'm tired of. being called college boy dude I hated.

that college boy yeah my parents are my. [ __ ] all my uncles and [ __ ] like. college boy they can't tell what did. they teach you there yeah you should. have been like yeah how not to be a. dumbass like you you [ __ ] loser for. real yeah that to be fair and again this. does Sting this does Sting because it's. like I didn't know there's a lot of. people when you don't go to college it's. kind of sort it's like an insecurity as. you can become an adult and it's like. dude I don't think it means that like. you're not smart or not intelligent but. I remember I got out out of college I. went that was such a waste of time and. then I went and was working for my dad. with just like with laborers like.

literally from the labor union and I. would talk to some of these dudes and be. like maybe that wasn't a total waste of. time they would read the newspaper dude. and it was like this is true and I'm. like well you know there's a guy who. writes in and they'd be like what the. [ __ ] are you talking about like all. right maybe that wasn't a complete waste. of time at all yeah and also back then. like I remember the kids in my high. school that didn't get into college you. were like. Jesus how did the [ __ ] did you not get. into West Virginia what did you do. true yeah true there's got to be one.

place it's one thing to be I get if. you're like yeah I don't I don't need. college I have a plan but there's other. people that are just like high school. ends and they're like well there's one. there's one thing to not have the. resources not go to college totally un. it's how do you like those apples which. is kind of a sick path that's kind of a. sick path but you're I think you're. talking more about the people who did. have the resources to go Suburban. neighbor college no thank you like what. the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] I was just laugh. did you take the SATs did I I garbage.

and uh fley got like an 860 on. his dumb as a. brick L did you take it please tell me. yes yeah what the fly get 860 yeah what. are you rocking sorry I didn't get much. higher I might have got like 1040 that's. not that's really good that's not bad. then I got probably like around will. fully got and you took 1040 is good no. 1040 is better than 840 is like if you.

only took one half the test yeah well I. mean you did perfect on one of the yeah. 1600 perfect I I think I did yeah he got. a. 55% I didn't do 1040 I did worse I did a. all well I didn't mean to make you feel. bad I'm sorry it's okay why are you. sorry I don't know what' you get you got. a 1040 no I got like a 860 cuz I did. really good on the math part but I did. really bad on the writing part so where. did the 1040 come from just the math. part the math part the lying math part I.

did the math real quick I got yeah he. just Beetle Juiced out I got about. 7,000 I got about. [Laughter]. 8,000 sat yeah I took sat got. A+ I got about. A+ what's high, 1600 yeah I didn't get. that uh I got I got uh who's the yeah. what's the low one you were just making. fun of yeah that's exactly what I. got I definitely didn't get way lower.

than that I'm lying I did the opposite I. got like I got like needs help math. score and then it was all my verbal. carried me into an institution I cheated. on math what how'd you cheat on the SAT. I noticed the girl I knew the girl she. was sitting two up in front of me had uh. the same test as me a it's awesome they. give you random tests that's awesome. yeah cuz I can't do math to save my. [ __ ] life I'm so bad dude. yeah when I took it I think they like. moved it up to 2400 or something cuz. didn't they like oh no you got an.

86400 I got like I got 1040 on the. 2400 oh there was the line yeah oh you. got CU I was going to say I was like I. wonder if you took it when it turned. into like the Mega Millions and it was. like it's out of 12 billion so I got. also you got to write a paragraph yeah. kids are like oh I love my mommy and. daddy very much the Webster's Dictionary. says that love is defined. by remember that's how every [ __ ] mon.

started starting every paper with a. definition if I found some of my old. papers that'd be so embarrassing so. embarrassing. dude we I don't even all right ah never. mind it's too much dude I'm gonna save. it for the patreon two it's truly too. embarrassing I have some good page talk. we listened to Hunter Biden uh all right. Memoirs and we listen to Spud told me to. listen to the last like three hours of. his like drug years CRA dude it's Bell. ringers the what the Bell ringers or. whatever he keeps calling them is that. what he calls correct yeah if you hit it. hard you get your bell rung he we're.

we're still in alcohol right now we're. making our way to I just listened to war. modes yes Spud it's actually it is a. really good listen a lot of it is war. mode yeah War modes is [ __ ] I'm saying. you mean the book the book is a good. listen and I mean there's a cynical part. of me that's like it was written by. ghost writers for a PR Company for the. Democratic party yeah absolutely but. dude he's entirely his tails are still. like so far I'm like pretty sick. he didn't get to the crack yet he's just. drinking dude we'll get yeah I've heard.

I heard warma was talking about the boo. stories of him like and then next thing. you know you're drinking a bottle of. vodka in the garage watching Game of. Thrones dude I don't think he's lying I. don't think he was lying about that I. was driving I he was saying that and I. was like [ __ ] right dude that's a. good night it's like what you dring. vodka watching Battle Star Galactica. yeah dude well it's like it's like you. say when you read that stuff it works on. you like I was at one point I was going. to I was like Joe Biden's actually a. pretty good father dude we should be. easy like it worked on Me on the way up. dude I cried during succession this week.

that's show [ __ ] rules though have. you watched the last episode I never I. don't think I've ever seen the very last. one you know what no I did watch it I. watch I watch season one and season two. and I skipped season three the new. Season's out right now wait there's a. new season there's a new season and the. last episode made me cry oh I didn't see. the new SE at my parents house. just it's got me choked up dude I'm such. a dumb [ __ ] dude the book got me on the. way up they're talking about that. [ __ ] church shooting and uh the one.

yeah oh yeah and they were talking when. Biden went back to that church after his. son had just died and he's like again. the book seems to be a little bit horse. feeding where it's like he didn't plan. on give him a speech then he goes up. he's like and this is what he said and. they asked him to speak and it's like a. beautiful yeah dude and he's just like. Faith seeds the best in the darkness and. I was like sitting there was like Biden. does have that there is that part of. Biden I like yeah where he's like we're. America dude we can do anything we want. come on I know dude we can do anything. we want if you read the book guess what.

you you start to love him dude it works. CU he's just like he it's dude I mean. that's how I feel about the Hitler book. anyway check us out I mean if you read. the book I didn't mean to do. that uh for real that was not a Roman. salute that was me you do oh if you read. the book that's how I feel about the. Hitler book anyway oh yeah I meant to. say goodbye I wasn't yeah crazy still. doing it it's crazy you have to like you. know edit your physic you say I'm not a. Nazi people like he might be a Nazi yeah. like he turned off the camera we mve.

Goose stepping although we it's going to. revamp once Trump dog comes back yeah. true I guess we have moved now then. what's the biggest threat now them's. face BR did you see Trump at the UFC. fight no bro what was he up to wait. isn't he in jail for 100 years sucking. titties down in Miami so that he's in. Miami [ __ ] damn so he went down to the. UFC I was I was basically begging Ries. like please I was I was I I never asked. him for [ __ ] I was hitting him with.

hints I was like are you doing the April. 8th fight down in uh Miami oh that's. anisia that's gonna be so sick and he. was like yeah man I'm going I was like. [ __ ] yeah I waited like a month I was. like dude the Izzy fights G to be crazy. he's like yep I like [ __ ] but [ __ ] then. I. look some cool NFL player hit me up Joey. Bosa texted me was like what are you. doing me Joe burrow and my brother Nick. had down here come chill I was like [ __ ]. damn I missed that and then why didn't.

you go I just did it was my one week off. and yeah yeah yeah true and then turns. out this is this is a disastrous. no-o uh Trump shows up Rolling Deep with. Kid Rock and Mike. Tyson. damn that's tough dude I was watching on. TV just like dag gum it it's the bottle. of ox that's Hunter Biden I went out to. the garage that's Hunter Biden no e. that's why I went to the oh yeah went to.

the Pees with my family true true um I. that a freak Show Trump kid rocking Mike. Tyson Chun think of those. conversations. [ __ ] man America is [ __ ] yeah I mean. also order might just be the best I. think it's the best but those three. sitting together ring side yeah was a. little unnerving I dude I told you I was. there I was in Boston doing a show and.

I'm sitting there I'm eating a steak. from the restaurant next they had they. have a restaurant next door and like. order whatever you want we'll send it. over I was sitting there like eating a. steak and just watching two dudes punch. each other in the face on Butter's phone. and I was just like what is this dude. what am I doing this is CRA Amer rules. yeah I was like American rules but also. I was kind of like dude what what is. this I'm just sitting here like in. between like literally thrilling myself. to the point of immense anxiet I'm like. well in the downtime I'm going to watch. a guy beat the [ __ ] out another guy and. just eat a steak when I'm not hungry I'm.

like Jesus Christ it's good it is the. best it's the best you you can't worry. about the stimulation true it is a good. problem but you can't punish yourself. for enjoying the sweetness I know I that. was a realization I had on the way up. dude I need to I need to start. integrating my shadow dude yeah exactly. I need to integrate my shadow I'm. telling you I need to start I mean I'm. trying to fend off the other parts and I. say dude I have to embrace them all yeah. Munch day. I love seeing guys get punched in the. face it's the best it's cool it's. [ __ ] awesome that fight was so sick I.

didn't get to see the whole thing I saw. the oh nice well let's let's go to the. patreon we got to talk by I want to show. you the end of that fight it was the. coolest [ __ ] let me see I got to see. that all right thank you man.