Ep 413 - King Of The Games (feat. Lil Sasquatch)
wow wow. West. activate hello come come alive like. Chuck-E-Cheese robots dude. just we're here with Harry wow. wow what you're going to say my name oh. we try to hide your name this government. man you put out his government. dude try to hide my last name get it my. you can get it you trying to hide your. last name that's why I never go by my. full name why your government name what. the [ __ ] are you talking about I just.
never have that's your go yeah but what. are you trying to hide he doesn't want. to get run up on in the parking lot bro. you can look like you could bro if I saw. you eating a Berg bro I'd [ __ ] pull. that on you. dude your ass up. dude for real though what's your thought. process on hiding your identity I don't. know I just have always done it okay was. like a work thing uh well I started. doing like the social media [ __ ] when I. was in like middle school or high school. oh so they didn't they don't want. you no none that's crazy yeah if I was. in Middle School that's like that's all.
I tweeted wait you were in middle school. with social media yeah like e8th grade. was when I started doing it is he BW up. dude he's a social media icon yeah. you're like social media mol caulin yeah. pretty much I get the comparison a lot I. want to be your Michael Jackson. dude you make him spread his Buttle on. the end of the bed while you whack. off that's exactly what M mcau defended. Michael by the way yeah he was good to M. said that n Li wait who made that up.
then uh I think the other lying kids. said uh they had pretty accurate stories. butan detailed not accurate how jealous. were they of mcau though you're like so. jealous you were like you were Michael. Jackson's like side [ __ ] [ __ ] dude. the one guy became a dancer really which. that'll that'll do it to you you get. touched by God the kid from what you get. touched by Michael then he ended up I. think dating Britney Spears or something. he like [ __ ] he [ __ ] Michael Jackson.
and Britney. Spears that's [ __ ] sick what's he. belly aching about that's yeah that's. pretty sick it's called paying your. Douce that's paying your that's pain. your speaking of tragedies we're going. to make light of that kid getting shot. was funny yeah don't let the other guys. at bar tell you it wasn't it was a rough. showing on my behalf uh no it was funny. at the time when you and me were talking. about and then when you tried to steal. my material you didn't bring the. delivery that you needed I did not bring. the delivery at all first I walked in I.
was just like in the most monotone voice. ever I was like yeah do you guys see. that video of that kid getting shot by. the. cop everyone goes to a scared place in. the yeah exactly he left out that it was. a white kid yeah yeah that would have. the whole place would have erupted they. like holy [ __ ] that's hilarious oh you. went out on stage and talked about the. kid no no it would have probably worked. better on stage I did on the yak the. show that I do on bar stool yeah. yesterday you bar to the stool yeah took. it up to the stool P stool up with the.
boys you pulled the stool up yeah they. didn't like it he said I'm going to pull. up a stool I'm going to tell you guys a. funny story hey guys real rap real rap. pull up the stool police brutality funny. it's funny when it happens to a white. guy said bro that's not cool how they. attack they shut it down they shut it. down seven on your ass dude was on my. ass hard and ran said that he saw the. video and he said he didn't think it was. funny I understand I thought it was. funny because Shane was showing it to me. 70 times a day and we were crying I did.
the first I'll say this the first time I. saw it I said I did not think it was. funny and then when I thought about. showing it to you while you me and Lam. were out to eat lunch in my head I was. like I got to show these guys this video. then I realized it was funny while I was. taking my phone out I was like wait till. you [ __ ] see this it was fun it's a. kid eating a burger in a McDonald's. parking lot and a cop with no hesitation. opens his door with his gun out he's. like get out of the [ __ ] car the.
funniest part dude the picture the. picture they showed I just I only saw. the news story his face is just like. like oh my God SC that's the funny part. is the face the funny the funny part is. the tragedy yes it's so [ __ ] crazy. that it's funny yeah yeah well the the. funniest part of it to me is that. there's so many white dudes out there. being like yeah we all get [ __ ]. mistreated by the police it's proofs in. the pudding dude I was thinking we were. talking about that I was like dude that. kid the rest of his life somebody's. going to be like police brutality needs. to stop against black people he's going.
to be like uh excuse me pardon me for a. second uh no he was eating a burger and. then I was laughing about thinking about. sitting in a parking I've sat in many. parking lots eating a burger by myself. you're just you're deep in thought. you're. just out of nowhere just sting there. like staring at like a like a light in a. Barking Lot eating a burger in a fast. food parking lot is it's a crime in and. of itself it's a crime dud you're.
munching you're looking off into the. Walmart parking lot like the door swings. open you're. like shot five times it is funny dude it. is and he was and he Liv and he's living. I think he's lived well unfortunately we. saw that news clip and they were like. he's in stable he's going to be he's in. stable condition on bar stol they looked. it up and they're like he's in critical. condition yeah and The Hangover yeah. that would have been tough must felt.
really really rough oh she thought you g. to have a good time and everyone's like. you're [ __ ] up that whole flight that. whole flight you must have been like. perfect I got my I got my topic for. today's podcast I was like they're going. to think this is funny and then I uh and. then I'm people dming me just being like. dude you're such a piece of [ __ ] and I'm. just rolling around tell you shoot B. stop talking about me I'll [ __ ] kill. you yeah I'll shoot you right now you. keep talking like that about me I'll. find you and I'll shoot you I'm going.
start death threading everyone on dude. I'll [ __ ] literally come shoot you I. should start death threat there's some. there's some gezer comic gezer Comics. right now talking [ __ ] on me what you. know [ __ ] gezer Comics that read the. [ __ ] New Yorker that are still mad. they're like this article is. inexcusable it's so funny talk talking. [ __ ] tell them you'll shoot them I might. like guys I'll [ __ ] shoot you guys. I'm going to I know you guys I'm I'm. going to fly there and shoot you with. I'll [ __ ] shoot you.
then we'll see who's laughing and body. cam the footage dude lying like you're. I'm going to surprise you with this gun. and you're going to look like an idiot. I'm G to wait until you're getting some. fast food what I mean what is what is. the honest like what's the penalty for. holding someone at. gunpoint it's it's maybe a couple years. the most yeah if you videotape yourself. holding a couple comedians at gunpoint. dude quote tweet that the material when. I get out I could use 2 years off 3. years off just laying down building.
years dude yes building years and then. you have the footage of putting come out. and talk like uh Shia and [ __ ] Burnal. just come out and be like yo go real. talk brother no brother uh but yeah it. was funny cuz one of the comics I want. to name him yeah please don't attack. these guys on the internet for real. please don't it's exactly what they want. don't do it yeah yeah anything attack. them in real life with a. weapon [ __ ] Sam hide no in real.
life like you mean in the ring right. no I'm going to kill him in real. life now the one guy I clicked on his. [ __ ] Twitter profile pick M uh and. it's him in like a Hillary Clinton mask. it's like dude oh you're getting hit by. D Fu dork yeah yeah there's there's a. there's a there's a whole wave of comics. that are like old dudes that suck that. got lost in CNN yeah that are just as.
lame as the dudes lost in Fox it is the. light though that's like the moth light. for dudes who truly sck. comedy yes just follow wolf actually. you're wrong just follow [ __ ] Don. Lemon into your screen like Don. knows now here here's the big here's the. big story yes it's me and Sass in L mer. we go to Buffalo helium great job this. weekend sass oh thank you Harry wow wow. [ __ ] you dude.
how' you get the name how' you get the. name cuz he he's doing stand up he's got. to use a [ __ ] name I know I went up. by my name this weekend so you dropped. the little yeah you dropped a little uh. yeah no Lam was introducing him as Harry. little. sass yeah which was funny all right we. we'll delete all this no no it's fine. you sure this coming out I'm not sure. what you have about 12 hours to decide. okay you don't want anyone to know what. what's what's the fal now yeah last time. time it got out it was just like a bunch.
of people like dming my parents and [ __ ]. that's part of the game bro I know it is. game that's part of the game bro and. like dming my sister on LinkedIn I'm. gonna find your sister on LinkedIn and. I'm going to threaten her with a we. that's. nwork to be fair they are networking I'm. going to find. her yeah trying to build their Network I. know why put on a resume put my family. on I know dming your sister and be like. your brother sucked on the podcast. just so you know I think your brother's.
a [ __ ] on the podcast I listen. to which is really. funny uh guys when you've had a long day. and you want to unwind to like a. grown-up grab your favorite Lucy gum or. nicotine. pouch I'll tell you what I I mean Lucy. what don't what is there not to like. about it dude you can just suck on that. thing and get a bunch of nicotine. continue your addicted life check out. all that Lucy has to offer at lucy. that's.
lucy. use promo code drenched at. checkout if you're a listener from. Canada you can get Lucy at ca. lucy. warning this product contains nicotine. nicotine is an addictive chemical but if. you're interested in a better way to use. nicotine visit Lucy Doo use that promo. code. [Laughter]. drenched all right so we go to Buffalo. mhm Buffalo helium.
big time dude big time is fun Buffalo. helium. is Buffalo is it must be the diarrhea. Capital the world oh dude the food we. ate straight diarrhea one of the one of. their Delicacies is a pizza log which is. just a spring roll filled with dough. cheese and pepperoni it was that har. might have for real had 40 of [ __ ]. things that was one of those things. that's so shitty when you eat but I had. no guilt or like regret I was like dude. those are so [ __ ] good yeah you ever. had one no like pza what's a pizza like.
a. rolled roll pizza roll but instead of a. pizza roll it's an egg roll so I guess. it's fried [ __ ] good yeah it's fried. I mean it was delicious even at Helium. which you know Comedy Club food is not. the best mhm I I put my Hur on I I focus. it on uh buffalo bites like I always do. you FOC on the bites yes and I did some. damage I did a lot of damage on the. buffalo bites it was the diet the diet. week was [ __ ] crazy really yes we.
were eating buffalo bites Pizza Pizza. Logs me l Mar and Sass no one there has. any. control no one had control usually I'm I. there's one guy that's like all right. let's not yeah the only time I didn't. have buffalo bites and Pizza Logs was. when I made the pad tie in my in my room. on the first night oh and I spilt it. onto my suitcase and all of my clothes. are covered in pad tie the microwave. P tie on his lug the midle.
nights. everywhere and ants you might as well. vomited on your [ __ ] was so bad it. was uh yeah and we kept going to the. same shitty bar every night it was fun. but here's here let's get to the let get. potes yeah dude so Gabe Davis he's a. wide receiver for the Buffalo Bills. absolute Legend yeah uh he brought a. couple of players to the show mhm so the. Bros are there was like Friday night. Saturday Friday night the Bros are there.
that's sick uh which was very scary to. see the Bros yeah you don't realize how. big NFL players are until they're in the. Buffalo helium Green Room which is a. closet and nine of them walk in it's me. L like hey fellas me and L mer were. pressed up against each other in the. corner while like 10 NFL dudes. surrounded us it was awesome Jesus hot. guys too yeah so then they they hook us. up with three tickets to the game uh we. go to the game it was what a time what a.
great time the the Buffalo Bills. football game was yeah tailgate slightly. we had like one we we got there late we. had a rough night the night before the. mayor started challenging me to drinking. contests which it was a draw every. [ __ ] time dude what it was a draw. time he couldn't stop and it kept being. like no I won no I won got theet on him. L's gotaman slurp. dude until we got to Bud Lights and then. it was yeah true it was a WAP brought. him into deep wat I took him yeah I took.
him into deep Waters he was nice on the. car bombs though we had like five car. bombs in made Shane made us film it for. him no we needed video replay true I. need to prove that I was right I could. hear my shot glass hitting first dude. but he was it was photo finish it was. photo finish it was it was photo finish. L Mer's nice so that was we That was. supposed to be a night we were taking it. easy no that was our last night wasn't. it Saturday night yeah well Friday night. we did actually kind of take it easy. Saturday night it was like all right we. got to take it e we got to go to a. [ __ ] Bills game in the morning at.
like 9:00 a.m. we didn't we got there at. kickoff but get in Gabe Davis honors me. with an incredible performance yeah true. no he did he honored me he really did. with his boy ber who Bert was [ __ ] up. we were drinking he was like Gabe's. doing this for you right now and I was. like this just insane say so after the. game Gabe comes over to the where we're. sitting yeah takes his [ __ ] Jersey. off signs it and gives it to me it's me.
and little. kids I'm I'm drunk in a bills hoodie. with glasses in a hat I'm like like. leaning over the wall for real everybody. there thought I was a [ __ ] guy and. NFL films was like filming game signing. it giving it to me I was. like it was like a crowd of children. around kids and me just. like and I was standing there I'm like. how old are you boys yeah. you're talking to the bo I don't know.
why I asked that I felt so weird you you. you threw up in the third quarter by the. way threw up in the middle of the yeah I. was recently I think yesterday actually. I was in a bathroom where I thought. someone threw up and I was like Jesus. Christ what a [ __ ] shameful act. throwing up in aom regulate your stomach. in public and then I ate fish that night. and I was like worried I was going to. throw up and I like that's what I. [ __ ] get [ __ ] what type of what type. of fish salmon I just salmon last night. did you really me too yes I had a lot of.
it really I had two full giant pieces of. salmon yeah it's one of those fish is. one of those things that like eggs like. I think I could eat like 40 pounds I can. just keep eating these it's. healthy sick damn that's that dude I. would before you said about his friend. like he's doing this for you I was. thinking like he probably truly was. charged up oh he was he show he 100% was. he went to the show and he was like I'm. about to [ __ ] I'm going to honor him. he definitely was running faster than. usual I bet he was ass as hell I dude.
I'm telling you and it's so funny to be. like announcers like man he's really. putting it on he's. like I'm in the. crowd G you might be his Muse dude I. could be Gabe Davis's Muse you might be. Gabe Davis's. Muse so gives me the Jersey we're. hanging out then we we go dude this is. where the this is where this whole thing. gets yeah incredibly funny is just laam. mer Lam mer round NFL players he was.
treating him like he was like a child. yeah he's dude he's like 32 yeah with. like he's 10 years older than these. players he's 10 years older and he's 3. feet shorter than all of them and he's. they got him a Bill's hoodie that they. gave him a 3X it was down to his knees. dude he had his hands in his sleeves the. whole time he's like he's [ __ ] up yeah. yeah L is For Real autistic without a. doubt for was he was saying out right. outrageous their Right Guard that plays.
with bills is a monster he was the black. dude in the chains and in like a cool. shirt Lam mer stands in front of he's. talking to one of the one of us yeah one. of the family was talking to maybe his. family yeah Lam stands next to them he's. midc conversation it just. goes I've never seen dude I've never. seen his hand still in the hoodie I've. never still in the hoodie took it out.
I've never seen someone hold a pound. longer an un an unanswered pound dude he. just finally finally this dude not. looking at him. goes and keeps talking and L. goes he is the best it was incredible. God damn it so then we're hanging out. after d he kept doing this the rest of. the night he was just drilling people. with all Bill's got an onslaught of.
autism from sassin Lam dude it was. incredible I've never seen anything like. it oh my god dude we get we're hanging. out after Gabe takes us through the. facilities while we're walking through. the facilities Lam Mer's walking just. Lam mer and Gabe Davis are walking and. Lam Mer's like how does it feel to reach. your dreams of being an NFL player was. like what the [ __ ] who is this. guy oh [ __ ] and then we're we're in the. locker room and me and La got a picture. back to back God damn it dude the whole.
pills team. watches no this is the beginning dude. this is nothing this is nothing compared. to what's about to happen oh my God so. we go to we go to Josh Allen and or we. go to the team's like dinner yeah and. just in a restaurant it was great it was. wonderful Lam mer is sitting it's a long. table it's Lam mer in this one wide out. I forget who it was sitting next sitting. a chair apart but no one else is around. them we're across the table well I hear. Lam mer look over at him and go other.
than us being black what do you think. you and I have in. common it was just like and the dude was. for real like yo who is. this for real whose man is this he. wasn't having it at. all and L was like what it's a good. question no. shame the guy is like sitting with his. family oh my God so we're laughing about. that we're laughing about it l again. doesn't take the hint that maybe he. should stop doing. oh my God 5 minutes later out of again.
this guy's not talking to not at all. he's just asking qu like he's sitting. eating and then being. like he goes what what do you search on. YouTube he goes what do you search on. YouTube that this an NFL wide receiver. he's like I don't know man like what. he's just like what are you talking. about oh [ __ ] I mean he hasn't. confronted this level of nerd in like. decades dude. seen anything like this true true but.
it's you get you get this at like a. family party and like one of your. cousins is there that's like really. [ __ ] up in L Mer's defense he did turn. to me in the middle of the game and he. was like I think I'm going to black out. and Sh he was like pumped and I was he's. like I've only ever blacked out twice's. a horse dude he dominates drinking me. and him were drinking he was fine he he. doesn't he doesn't get like visibly. drunk no yeah dude he is May's a tank. dude it's crazy he's fast he's nimble. he is Nimble he asked all the right.
questions he asked all the right. questions he Domin he might be dude. think he might be an exoskeleton of he. might be dude he might dude that's so. it's so funny though CU that D like just. think of the wide receiver world of it's. just like you wake up there's a bunch of. chicks like yeah I want to blil you I'm. assuming this there's like a bunch of. chicks trying to [ __ ] you you're just. cool you're driving cool cars and all of. a sudden you're at dinner with L going. like other than being black what do you. think we have what do you watch on. YouTube search on YouTube. the guy's like I don't know he for real.
was hasn't made like the neural. connections to answer those questions. like ever and he's just like confronted. with a completely unique situation like. what the [ __ ] is what is this what am I. dealing with right now what is this an. entity dude. entity so we leave there we go back to. gabes we play poker me and Lam get. fleeced I gave Lam mer 200 bucks we. played $200 buy I bought in like three. times I was getting killed the dude next. was beating me so bad he was showing me.
his [ __ ] cards what yeah it was it. was humili you're good at poker I was. doing I thought I was I was getting [ __ ]. hands but Lam Mer's out right away I. give him $200 he's literally out first. like within two hands he doesn't know. how to play he's all in he's all in he. had no idea he was like oh [ __ ] I have. nothing uh so this is where the this is. where it picks up this where thing so we. go there we leave there we go to Dave. and Busters in Buffalo one of the. players had paid some money to buy it.
out so it's empty these guys have so. much [ __ ] fun was sick it was really. cool [ __ ] we get in there before we. leave I take a lot of. mushrooms I was like I'm going to stop. drinking I'm going switch over to mus. who the mushrooms I don't know okay yeah. bro true true on bro sometimes they just. get actually I don't know I don't know. they were like those candy. bars holy [ __ ] what the heck this is. very spooky get off game dude no no get.
off game Davis is he okay game Tex him. right now no Gabe Gabe my C you Gabe. better be okay oh my god dude kiss that. dude. might with no Sho with no pants. on so he's going to regret giving me. he's be like man I think he regretted. having us a little bit until the car had. home the car at home he was having a.
blast so we go in we're at dve Busters. yeah there's a lot of women you're on. mushrooms also have you I didn't know so. I read the the back of the candy bar. thing. said like one one your micro doing two. your micro doing between like three and. nine you're okay yeah I took six maybe. seven such a gobler dude gobbler on. mushrooms every time I gobbled the [ __ ]. out of them we get in there um they're. starting to hit when we arrive I'm.
like I'm in Dave and Busters with the. bills and like. 50 ladies from Buffalo that are women of. the night bunch of cardi bees really. cardi Buffalo yeah strange wom strange. women cardi Buffalo cardi Buffalo cardi. Buffalo buz yes and they were [ __ ]. they were they were having fun uh then. the cool players show up which was very. funny to see the difference we were with. like lman in tight ends at the honkies.
yeah that the Cool Bros showed up really. dress they all looked like [ __ ]. Migos dress they in the coolest [ __ ]. you've ever seen which normally I'd be. like that's cool I was high as [ __ ] on. mushrooms I was like what the [ __ ] are. these guys wearing they look [ __ ]. dumb as. hell I was just crying and then so this. dude these boys hog heav you get Lam mer. and Sass some video game dude Lam mer at. one point announced to me he said I'm. the king of the. games sorted dominating NFL players in.
video gam dude and he has he's like a. little kid he's walking there's this D. tackle playing [ __ ] Guitar Hero Lam's. like do you mind if I play with you and. the guy's like yeah sure man whatever I. have a photo of it that'll be posted. right here the May on the mushrooms too. yeah I think a little but he was fine. dude yeah yeah yeah he literally he. crushes everything I was freaking out. and he was giving me like pep talks like. dude we're having fun relax was trying. to snap me out of it we were walking.
Shan around like a dog Nate's a rock too. we had to we had to hold on to him like. all right Shan this way yeah you think. you were hold on a second you were I was. being so nice to you yeah you were being. nice I was being nice to let's get over. here come on I was just watching you. play games I would literally Go game to. game with him watch him play it for two. seconds and walk he would walk into my. face and be like this game [ __ ] sucks. let's. go go to another game you be like [ __ ]. this my [ __ ] card's not working we.
all had your charge card my charge card. that's no laughing they gave us all dve. Busters cards his card broke and I'm. sitting there talking to a cop and I'm. like my card's like my card's not. working officer my charge cards expired. he's like I can't help you with that. he's like I don't work here and I just. kept on being like someone gave me a. card when I walked in I need a new one. oh my God I could have given you mine. that I don't know why we didn't do that. was it unlimited charge card oh yeah. yeah. dude it was unlimited DAV Busters charge.
card babes and the Buffalo Bills oh my. God it was about as cool as it gets if I. hadn't munched too hard yeah that would. have been a great night it's yeah true. but I did Mong you did and I was like I. can't go I was like laying down in a. booth they're just ladies dancing I was. like oh no like what are they doing why. are they doing. this uh didn't need make time for Cruis. in USA I got to get it together walking. around I see people like Gabe was.
playing like Cru in USA he was in like a. car thing I was like what the [ __ ] is. going on oh Busters on mushrooms D. Busters on mushrooms with dudes that are. 610 300 lb all around and then Buffalo. [ __ ] cardi. B's it was the craziest thing I've ever. seen loud music it was crazy intense. dude it was so it was so intense that I. didn't realize how high I was until I. got home oh and got into my hotel room. and everything was moving and I was like.
holy [ __ ] I. was hallucinating the entire time I was. hallucinating the but and there's that. like I mean nonstop I'm watching Lamar. sass play games at one point at one. point all the cool black players were. playing basketball. mhm nothing wrong with. it just saying that's what they were. doing they were playing the the you know. the basketball G competitive basketb but. they were surrounded by like girls and. the the speaker was right there and rap.
was blasting and I look over and the the. right tackle is dispencer he's like. 69ine he's huge he's by himself playing. like a touch. game I was like holy. [ __ ] I can't look at this what's the I. don't know what like one of those like. reflex game he so big he covered the. entire thing my God he was like nailing. it was just funny to see the uh the. difference between a white dude from. Iowa and then Migos shooting basketball.
dude for some reason I went up after him. and I was like I'm going to smoke you. like I'm going to beat you reflex not. not remembering that he's in the NFL and. also an athlete yeah he was Prett I got. like 200 points less than him yeah it. was disaster no it was like 300 to 70 oh. F I think he set the record though in. your defense I've never seen anything. like it dud it was rough really yeah the. game The Game's huge and he was bigger. than the [ __ ] game oh. I have a video of him playing nice I.
want to see that yeah and then it pans. over to you and you're just like. no like dude stop please stop it was uh. oh my God he was my guide though yeah he. helped me out he was he was very like. here come on everything's good like he. was like this is fun that's so sick uh. yeah then I was laughing imagining him. as a viking he was a viking oh he even. has like a Viking head yeah he's a big. guy Viking you got into your house done.
the whole thing's done [ __ ] security. there they were white knuckling their. guns oh please nothing happen cuz we're. going to get ripped apart you'd AB I'd. abandoned post on that dude I don't want. to miss things cuz this was I mean as. funny as anything I've ever seen that's. honestly so then this is this is it dud. this is the moment so there's a game. Harry's [ __ ] up dude don't act like. you were [ __ ] black down even on. mushrooms I was like is it. hammered you [ __ ] this game let's go.
play another. game chill please. relax he goes up there's a Star Wars. game that's between the bar is where. everybody's hanging out and then it goes. into the arcade the first game you see. is this VR headset that drops down from. the like ceiling and it's a Star Wars. game and it's got like the two Hand. things that are attached as well I see. Harry start to walk over towards it I'm. for real I'm like dude no way that's. what you've been searching for yeah but. I'm like this is I'm like no way he's.
about to do this I'm like tapping Gabe. I'm like wait wait till you see this he. comes on he got he was wearing. corduroys and these sneakers they. probably scanned them laser scan like. access. granted he puts on the [ __ ] VR. headset and I'm I'm so delighted I can't. believe this is happening as soon as he. does it we're all laughing so then a. crowd. notices I have no idea semicircle forms. around him of some of the cardi B's a.
lot of NFL players and just dude we were. D and he played for like 15 minutes of. just like for real dude he has no idea. this is happening no idea there's 30. people watching and laughing he's. like he drew his lightsaber at one point. he was. like dude cuz he was like you could use. the force and a guy would come at you. and I would like grab him. another dimension yeah you could throw.
the lightsabers oh my god dude I'm soing. at one point while I'm I I couldn't. watch it it was too I was crying yeah. and I looked like an [ __ ] cuz I'm. standing there falling over laughing I. mean it's you were right though Gabe. Taps me and goes look at your other boy. behind the crowd I look L Lam Mer's in a. axe throwing Gauge by. himself they R they dominated this. party they dominated the after party L's.
a Berserker berser Berserker he. Berserker but this is my favorite bite. so the whole time I'm laughing I'm so. excited for him to take his mask off and. realize that he's being made fun of by. the Buffalo. Bills he takes it off no shame he looks. and he beines walk straight up to my. face he's like the game was actually. pretty hard I was like dude you're. [ __ ] you're autistic too I ran over. to Shan. I pulled the mask off and there's. literally like 75 people surrounding me.
and I'm like has this been going on the. entire time dude dude I swear to God as. soon as you lowered your mask there's a. crowd watching you. like oh [ __ ] oh my God that was it that. was that was everyone was like yo we. have to leave I can't that's I think. Gabe was the one who pulled the plug. Gabe pulled the plug Gabe saw where this. was headed this just too autistic. they're too autistic they were killing. the cuz the vibe was cool I bet it was.
cool guys yeah but we were having fun. and then there's two dudes. [Music]. like oh we get in the truck clutching. your head in the corner I couldn't dude. we got in the truck I couldn't stop like. I was I was like stop telling me stories. stop telling me and then I'm next to. Gabe and I'm like this scy just had two. touchdowns against the Steelers today. and lar Sasser in the back like and then. when the Tie fighters come no. like please shut the [ __ ] up yeah cuz he.
was driving us. everywhere and it was also he started. laughing he couldn't drive he was. laughing so hard he was like all right. stop stop stop stop what a great guy too. yeah he took he was awesome he was. incredible but Jesus Christ is that such. a funny Collision of Worlds it's Hades. dude comedy podcasting is haes and. you're talking to the NFL these guys. worked hard trained hard. they're getting what they deserve then. Here Comes.
goblins like what do you. YouTube I smoked pot during college and. changed my. Majors I didn't apply myself to anything. in life here I am I think the problem. was that I I thought like cuz we were. with Gabe that like everyone else there. knew us and then I realized we must have. just looked like like like cousins of. someone or like like make a wish like. yeah yeah that was full makea was all.
three of it by the way me him and Lam. mer walking around together looks insane. it looks like the craziest Squad of all. we' go into bars and people be like what. the. [ __ ] yeah it's that Star Wars bar when. you get in what the [ __ ] is. that and again the lar sass zero social. like in that when you're drunk there's. no anxiety like he'll start dancing Lam. Lam will just start talking to groups of. people oh my god dude oh [ __ ] oh my God.
but yes that was a a very very big. victory I got home I had to call my. girlfriend yeah yeah I was tripping so. hard I was like laying in bed in the. dark I was like I need to talk to. somebody call my call my girlfriend I. was like I [ __ ] love you so much. that's a good move that's a good move. and I was like wait till you hear what. happened tonight I couldn't even explain. to [ __ ] up I was like then s play. Virtual. Reality then jash was like. I good s good God the guy's look.
s that's the [ __ ] funnyest [ __ ] in. the world bro ited honestly is like. that's like a dolly painting of a social. situation just started to melt just like. really cool thing happened all of a. sudden like someone swirled the colors. and like what the [ __ ] going on yeah. the mushrooms was I mean it ended up. being I've never laughed that hard in my. life I had a really great time that was. for the culture it fluctuated from Total. Terror to the funniest thing hilarious. like I couldn't control myself laughing.
God that rules yeah it was sick it was a. very dude this is the coolest sh that. was incredible that's the [ __ ] best. it was really cool I've sold out Dave. and Busters sold yeah the Dave and. Busters buers to just basically Lamar. and Sass walking through like Darth. Vader is [ __ ] dominated was funny. because as soon as we got in there why. we all split up instantly yeah dividing. straight to the games straight to the. games boys scattered to games which. one's the coolest game that VR Star Wars.
it was cool it was really it would have. been really fun if no one was looking. yeah but when you start you kind of want. an audience doing the VR stuff you want. to put on a show I mean the fact that. yeah how' you feel when you the big. reveal one was basically a surprise. party for you it was awesome I was like. that was sicks like I don't think I ever. it didn't register to me what happened. until the next morning when you guys. sent the. video like holy [ __ ]. I looked like I was I have video footage.
but it's from Lam mer so he didn't film. it he didn't Lam mer didn't know why it. was funny Lam mer filmed it Lam was like. everybody likes this L's like this is. cool but I was in I was on the side and. I was direct eyeline with three cardi. B's mhm that were like in their drink. like what the [ __ ] is this they just. knew there was a crowd they're just. crushing ruies with a. straw there was a crowd so the card. naturally just went over to be like. what's going on true and they couldn't.
there's no way they could comprehend. what what was being done bit of Snapchat. brain bit of Snapchat brain going on. Dancing it was tough it it's funny to. think about them just having Predator. vision for [ __ ] they can film on their. phones oh. [Laughter]. [ __ ] it was uh yeah that started that. absolutely. y they got on the this is also this was.
making me laugh so hard was him going to. try to recharge his card they were. literally dancing on the bar and don't. remember that was like I need I need to. recharge my card so all these players. and girls are at the bar he's. like my dve and Busters card's not. working and they were like I was up I. was up there just getting water like can. I please have another water and I get. like for real they the women did not see.
us they like bumped me out of the way. like thank you yeah it was incredible. Gabe Davis is the Bro dude St Gabe St. Gabe Davis Gabriel thank you gab St Bert. St Bert St Gabriel was cool too Bert was. [ __ ] hilarious oh my God that [ __ ]. rules yeah that was uh got home. yesterday depleted bro needed a day of. rest gave it all yes yeah yesterday it. was tough having to me and La Mer just I.
had to I had to pull Tri in the airport. bathroom you threw up in the airport B. throw up I tried to but I couldn't while. the may just like Waits outside of the. bathroom for me totally F he's guarding. the portal dude on all fours in the. bathroom he's he's totally fine he. didn't give a [ __ ] it's crazy dude I'm. telling you [ __ ] wild he also ate. mushrooms with me yeah dude he was. totally fine I woke up the next morning. I was like he texted me he was like I'm. I'm downstairs like got downstairs he's. outside smoking a Sig and I'm just like.
I can't even get cigarette dude he might. be like a dimension Hopper dude oh yeah. at one point I'm in the lobby one of the. dudes who works at the hotel just walks. by the may. like yo what how do you know the guy who. works here he's like I gave him a blunt. last. night it didn't someone else came. someone came up to him at the uh bills. tail. game and Sass walking someone like L.
man H so that's my what's going on with. you Matt dude where we at time wise yeah. we might just nice damn hell yeah guys. say hello to smooth ball fall manscaped. is making sure you have everything you. need to stay fresh under your. belt uh it's telling me to Riff on pubes. right now my pubes look like they should. be on a corpse they're so [ __ ] long. and Gastly I truly need to shave my.
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dude. I might have had I also simultaneously. had one of the funnest weekends of my. life oh yeah Cape Cod wedding dude yes. I've never ever been to Cape Cod before. my my mom's from the cape dude I didn't. realize oh doxed yeah yeah probably not. dude it is you ever been up there before. no it's it's the best it's the best we. don't know about in it's like a they. kind of in Pennsylvania you go to the. Jersey Shore yeah which she just a flat. or west you go to [ __ ] Maryland yeah.
yeah oan City Maryland dude there is. like it's so hard to describe but it's. like so basically it's like a it's the. most like beautiful natural scenery at a. beach you can tell cuz like they had the. forsight back in like the 50s or. whenever the 60s to not to like flatten. everything with bulldozers and build. plastic houses on everything yeah like. Sea Isle is just a flat expanse they. develop on everything this they've like. preserved like Dunes it's dude it's so. [ __ ] nice but so we fly to Boston cuz.
we have kids with us so we went to a. wedding so I'm like I'm not driving. anywhere we're flying everywhere I'm not. doing this so we fly to Boston it's like. an hour you know whatever it is an hour. flight and then we I didn't realize. we're flying from Boston to Providence. or provinc town oh really holy [ __ ] dude. that was a n- seat cesna plane so we go. we go to the airport it's like Cape Cod. Air or some I forgot what the [ __ ] it. was called and they were like can you. guys stand on the scale we're going to. weigh you and I was like haha and. they're like no like for real we need. your that small the. plan that's actually it's a nine seater.
plane that's [ __ ] crazy dude so I'm. like okay so we get on the plane weigh. all of our luggage weigh our stuff and. like the captain will tell you where to. sit based on your weight we'll figure it. out dude and then there's like that. Airline runs planes to like all of those. Shore points so there was one Airline. while we were waiting they were like uh. we're having a weight issue with the. plane will somebody please like ride the. next someone with flexibility cuz you. ride the next one and like people. weren't standing up and then or finally. two people got up and they were like no.
actually we need you too there was just. one big fat guy and I think they're. trying to defat the plane really and I. think they're like um if nobody else. comes forward we'll take the last person. and remove them from the thing so these. ladies were so [ __ ] mean who did was. they had to like sit there and have like. just ruined people's day their job was. to be like you're too F so fat you kick. someone off you were danger you're. making the plane dangerous so dude they. were like so these ladies were so. [ __ ] mean cuz I was like our plane.
got delayed not by that much but I was. nicely being like hey do you guys have. any idea like you know like no rush I. just want to know like do you have an. actual time frame or not so I'm trying. to figure out like can I go take a [ __ ]. you know what can I do stuff she goes. sir we're working on the plane how you. you can have a seat right now before I. even know what happened I'm walking back. sitting in my seat and Britney's like. what she saying I was like uh she told. me to sit down I'm like [ __ ] [ __ ]. [ __ ] why did I listen to dominated you. totally dominated to me so then Britney. gets up I go please please please don't.
go up dude I literally before I even. knew what was going on I was like sit. down on my seat I don't know why I'm so. angry and I said it to Britney she's. like oh no and she walked up she starts. I'm like no please no and she walks up. and starts just having to [ __ ] off with. this lady motherfucks the lady to no. avail and then we just walk back down. she's like she's a [ __ ] super loud I'm. like dude they will kick us off this. [ __ ] plane there's nine people stop. stop. yeah yeah and dude we're flying you know. if you know anything about provinc town.
yeah it's just the Bros dude it's the. boys dude it's it's literally Prov no. Province Town is like baby it's gay it's. like a gay Central America so the plane. is not it was like four gay dudes in a. heterosexual family so it was very it. was a very funny Dynamic was a four gay. dudes in a biracial family true what you. guys on a [ __ ] bank. commercial to be fair I think. interracial is lgbtq I was in the gay.
capital of Cape Cod and I was like we're. gay I'm just as woke as any of these. guys yeah I was like dude this is I. pretty much suck dick dude that is like. the gayest place on Earth it dude it. truly it's like it'll be like these big. ass fat dudes like oiled up like riding. bikes around with just like a thong on. and we were in the off season so it was. like my yeah dude it's it's they've made. a truly beautiful Town yeah it's nice it. is very gay though gay dudes will do. that dude it's it's crazy it looks like. [ __ ] Gilmore Girls you're there and. it's just like I'm not saying I've.
watched any of that show what the [ __ ]. Gilmore yeah what the hell are you guys. even talking about it has a sorry I'm. friends with the bills dude I I don't. watch Gilmore Girls dude it has a CO me. and Gabe Davis oh weird just talking. about how gay you. were the whole time Gabe was like yo. Matt sucks so gay dude where is he at in. Province. down dude so we get there cool. experience we fly on the nine seater. plane I'm like damn that dude it was.
like GTA how long was the flight 30. minutes bro how scary was the flight. scary dude when you have two kids yeah. two little I was holding a four-month. old dude I was turbulence dude should. you ever Rod a motorcycle either of you. guys no I have let me tell you about it. I'm. not yeah of course the [ __ ] fell. off no I rode a motorcycle literally. once and I got on it and thought I could. take it on the highway and it's. terrifying because you drove it or were. you I rode no no no no I was I'm more of.
this kind of guy more of. a it was like a 450 Nighthawk it's a. little Honda bike sick dude and when you. ride a motorcycle the when the wind hits. your car you ever like hear the wind hit. your car on a bike it physically moves. you so you feel yourself moving in that. little plane when we were about to land. a gust hit and our plane just went and. just moved over to the side and I was. like and when they're balancing the. wings it's like before you're going to. land it's like holy [ __ ] that's. horrifying those ples are dangerous oh.
it was a full I had a full like. everybody dies on those that we took off. [ __ ] Britney's like oh this is how. Aaliyah died from a weight issue and I'm. like shut the [ __ ] sh up [ __ ] kids I. can't imagine that we like when we F. those short flets usually the. crj900 which is a flexing bro yeah told. you this kid was playing VR Star Wars. yeah that's a trusty vehicle but uh. really even those scare the [ __ ] out of. me cuz they two rows two seat of. Rose.
what no we're we're just talking mini PL. we're talking plans couple podcasts you. would know crj900 if it slapped you in. the. teeth you going come on here and make. fun of it you're going to humiliate me. no I had a I had a full like moment. where I had to be like bro I'm being. controlled by the elements right now if. the elements want me to live they will. let me live and that'll just be that. this is not in my hands I'd be. devastated if my children and I died in. this place at least you that you get to. die together that's fun that's true.
that's true that I was like I was to the. level where I was like comprehending the. physical impact of the plane I'm like. I'm okay with that but God that's so bad. that my kids are going have to go out. like a [ __ ] hard impact in a fireball. I'm like just quick just so I could go. to a wedding and get drunk and play. beach volleyball [ __ ] you got drunk and. play beach volleyball dude so let me. tell you with the fellas bro first so. this the first night we fly in on a cool. plane I'm like that was a lot of fun we. get to an Airbnb Britney it's all. Cottages up there it's like these these.
like cedar shingle cottages on like the. dunes so we have we're overlooking the. bay it was so [ __ ] nice and it's the. off season too so it's like these places. they're not that they're like aund cple. 100 bucks a night so we get up there and. we get I'm like damn I'm pumped on the. cottage I'm like this is sick and then. so I knew the groom friend of the groom. hits me up also my bro is like yo we're. going over to their house tonight I. thought it was like a little like an. intimate like couples Gathering like you. I'm all right cool I'll go you know. ripping the high NOS hitting the Vape.
whatever I'm cool I'm getting ready to. go over there Britney the last minute. goes I'm too tired and I said babe you. go oh dang babe babe that's all right. you you one I'm like I'll go I'm kind of. wired yeah [ __ ] I already told him I was. going I'll make it I'll make a show for. I'll go for both of us I get there and. it's just like a bunch of people like. having a party dude have you ever played. the game Vortex yeah what is it I think. dude no no no no no maybe I was wrong. truly the ultimate drinking so I get.
there I'm push also I'm pushing a Honda. Odyssey by the way that's what we run so. it's like dreams come true all. around I'm risking a minivan DUI I'm in. my element bro I'm [ __ ] I'm having a. good time. dude. [ __ ] I'm in I'm just imagine myself in a. bans like [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm get fired for my. [ __ ]. J dude so I I get there it's a sick. [ __ ] place it's in like the middle of. like it's a very secluded too out there. it's like it's cool where were you in. the in the cape I was in Truro Truro so.
I don't know it's just it's this area. it's like the bay so um I get to the. thing it's an actual party I'm having a. good time someone hands me a hard. kombucha I'm like dude thank you this is. very nice damn dude it was great so we. it was just the girl you might have died. on the Cessna I might have died you. might be dreaming all this still your. wife like Buffalo Bills the Buffalo your. wife's like I can't make it to the party. like we sorry we're out almost. everything other than spiked kambucha.
there was like an underground movement. of girls handing me gluten-free drinks. that was very nice dude it was very very. sweet so then dudes so fun I'm having a. blast we go on the screen porch and then. it's time for Vortex like have you ever. played Vortex I said no I don't know. what that is tell me about it dude so. imagine this table you put like 20 like. flip cup drinks you know when you do. beer pong you fill it up like like that. yeah do 20 of it like you know T I don't. know how many cups it was I was trying. to remember so you're talking red Solo. cups facing upwards is it like beer pong.
into it all at once sort of no no kind. of with two people but then in the. middle of that there's one cup that's a. one full beer when you feel it you pour. it in I I'll stop guessing tell I'll. tell you what happens tell me it's. better than you can [ __ ] imagine so. it's like so there's a whole me this. whole table's full of Cups you know have. a big table like like beer pong and then. you have two empty cups and one cup in. the middle that's just a full [ __ ]. beer and so what you you do is you have. you can play with literally we're. playing with like 15 people so it's like.
we're all around the table I have a cup. that other person has a cup and you try. to bounce your ball into an empty cup so. if you bounce the beer pong ball into. the empty cup flip upup and have to chug. in the middle no that's what I thought. dude I I'm going get it don't worry dude. I I so then if you make it on the first. shot you can hand your cup to anyone at. the table that you want you get deal. it's dealer's Choice yes but if you. don't make it then if you know if it. takes you say two or three times you. have to pass it one to the left and. here's where it gets interesting so if. you're going to pass it to the left if. you make your cup and someone next to.
you hasn't made their cup to your. immediate left you go wh slap their cup. out from under them yes dude so so then. and that person has to take one from the. mess of cups at the table chug it and. then that cup gets in rotation here's. where the vortex comes if the person. next to you makes their cup too they can. skip back to you and then you can make. yours and then smack their cup again and. someone gets caught in the vortex and. they just have to keep chugging while. they're trying to make this thing dude I. was watching like uh just like a. girlfriend who comes like the family. wedding like I don't know if this her. first time or whatever but I'm watching.
it's like just watching People's. girlfriends get caught in a Vortex. people are [ __ ] screaming. just smacking their cup yelling punish. here dude just C watching people in a. Vortex be like what what dude it's God. damn it it was the [ __ ] funniest I. was screaming howling laughing it was. the funniest thing in the world and then. at the end it comes down to like two. cups and everyone's like no no no no no. not for the whole beer you watch. someone's wife land on have to chug a. whole beer and it's like and the way you. have someone just goes hard dude it was.
that I was I was screaming smack. people's beers yeah dude I was smacking. cups I was down I was coming down to the. wire I was like confronting down to the. wire stuff dude I was it was crazy it. was so much [ __ ] fun we have to play. that sometime we have to as soon as I. got I was like we have to play this game. I'm bringing this game back dude it's we. should uh yeah we should do a Night cast. yes we should do a night a drinking game. night cast we got to get ly in yes dude. I need to dismal him in a chug dude. Vortex is the as I did at the at the.
Late Bar please can we play Vortex it is. the mat you're not going to have to pull. my arm on this I really want to play I'm. jealous of this party right now I wish I. was at the beach playing drinking games. dude I'm tell and I thought of you I was. like [ __ ] wow that was sick though. that was SI oh that was the best I know. dude I'm telling you I was like I have. to bring this game back this is the. funnest [ __ ] [ __ ] ever so I I do that. that night I get out I leave so then you. know I take the pile the The Odyssey.
back I took the Odyssey bro yes so I'm. going back and then I'm like driving. home and I'm I'm not like obviously I'm. not like [ __ ] up I mean the state of. Massachusetts might have had some pseudo. science might have said they might have. busted out some pseudo science about. blood alcohol content and hit me on a. [ __ ] some [ __ ] decimal point crap. come on shot you five times yeah get the. [ __ ] [ __ ] you five times eating a burger. what' you do on the way back you were. close to a burger if I seen a burger. now I know the risk though it's you know. you could just get executed by the state.
while eating a burger dude so I'm. driving home I'm like well luckily I'm. out in the woods there's no cops out I. pass I look I think someone pulled over. I'm like sucks for you brother I look. over my rear view it's just two cops. talking I'm like I just go purely white. I'm. like you can you can afford a DUI catch. a Dewey dude I could I could and I'm out. here I'm out here we need I'm out here. we need a mug shot I'm out here mug shop. merch mug shop merch would pay for the. DIY it'd be incredible true dude so I I.
I get back again state of Massachusetts. obvious again I'm physically I'm okay to. dve I know everyone says this but truly. I was yeah I was like complet I more as. the vape pen was kind of the issue but. the um which also makes me okay to drive. and I I pull in the weed helps it makes. me focus better so then I I in I'm. pulling into the driveway area of where. I'm at and a another cop passes me and. I'm like what the hell but I accelerated. in the driveway hit Park and I said I.
don't care what you guys do over here. but I'm home based so legally under the. state of Massachusetts law I'm good yes. Commonwealth good night Commonwealth. excuse me commonwealth law dude so I get. in night one unbelievable night two. beach volleyball oh H dude beach. volleyball this they planned the best. wedding ever and it's funny too cuz I. know when you're it's your wedding you. hate every second of it like every. second of everything so I was just kept. being like bro I know this sucks for you. but I'm having so much fun thank.
you dude played beach beach volleyball. that was unfuckingbelievable how fun. that was yeah beach volleyball is the. best then it slides into a p was your. lady with you she was there but Beach. volleyball's the best time to fall in. love with a girl on the other team yeah. true on your team it's so nice to fall. in love with a girl yeah man just. hitting the ball being. like true it was mostly all dudes mostly. all dudes but I would agree I could see.
falling I mean I made I fell in love. once playing beach volleyball did you. really yes then she gave me a head on a. sailboat oo yeah it was pretty sick. except there were a lot of bugs out at. night and my legs got chewed up worth it. dude and I denied it I was getting. munched by flies and she was like are. you getting bit I was like no then I. shined my light down to see it and my. legs were covered in bugs that's got to. be good blood though it's got to be good. blood if you're flying some guy's. getting head and his blood has all this. weird chemicals you're probably like oh. my God you better get down there some. guy's getting his dick sucked on a boat.
this is great they they take like a drop. of your blood and they're like. woo [ __ ] great right now but yeah. dude it's beach volleyball slides into a. nighttime pig roast I mean dude this is. they didn't even start awesome the. wedding was the next day I get H and the. whole time we had the kids so Britney. would leave take the kids back so old. mccusker would hang out we also brought. a babysitter which is clutch yeah so we. had someone there too babysit. flew her bro that's crazy flew The Babys. dude that's baller you have to flying.
out the babysitter it's such an. Indulgence it's such an Indulgence but I. do it every time that way we can have. fun yeah of course you guys good I'm. [ __ ] I'm out that's awesome I was. feeding seagulls on the beach making. [ __ ] creature storms dude it was. tight you made some creature. storms I took Maya down dude me and Maya. you you your daughter made a cre bro it. was so fun [ __ ] that's very sweet God it. was sick but dude the wedding this and. dude the wedding was a transformative. moment for me personally I always have. personal Transformations at weddings.
every wedding I go to I totally. different yeah dude you seem different. thank you yeah I can tell there's a glow. about you dude you witnessed love I've. been having true it was there was a very. loving atmosphere that I tap into that. all the time at weddings this was a. truly loving atmosphere I've been to. weddings before where it's I tapped into. the loving atmosphere while I was on. mushrooms did you yeah it was very nice. I started giving myself compliments. that's [ __ ] sick it was crazy dude I. my girlfriend was so. happy the text you sent me when wait.
when oh I won stoping you dude I forgot. about. that at like 900. p.m. I won't stop loving. you I was in the cape bro you know how. it is in the cap oh yeah yeah I was in. the cape bro I was lay dude I was laying. in bed talking to my girlfriend giving. myself compliment when did you get the. text Sunday night right I think so I was. a D&B just like. dude I I would forget I was on I I would.
forget I was that [ __ ] up and then you. try to look at your phone you know when. you're on mushrooms look at your phone. SC like God yeah holy [ __ ] dude it's the. Rick and Morty portal dude you're fully. just. like oh no uh yeah I was laying there. complimenting myself it's awesome in. like a nice way like I'm. funny that's such a nice thing to I get. to everybody's going to die but I get to. help like like just while we're all.
together I can make people feel a little. better for a couple minutes you're a. peak you're had a peak experience I was. like and this is then even in mushrooms. I was like I know this is pretty [ __ ]. gay my girlfriend was like no you're. fine I was like no it's definitely gay. and I was like if I stick my arm out I. can't even see my. fingers how long were you how long were. you up for uh did you crash or did you I. was up till like 4:00 a.m. really maybe. 3 3 or 4 but I was done I I stopped.
drinking for hours they'll keep you up. man and I was just like dude that's that. is nice I've got ad all we took Aderall. before the game oh boy I destroy buzzing. you're uppers downers and sideways or. yeah the ader all broke me I we I was. standing up I was standing up that was. the Force dude. yeah I was standing up in the game he. would literally be. [Laughter].
like and you got to see Harry Harry's. body is just like you're a funny looking. guy and I mean that you know I'm but. you're like you look like you look like. Michael Sarah looked like a comedy it. looked like a comedy character oh my god. dude I took the ater all and I kept on. looking over to Shane and going this is. the world we've been there for like 15. minutes going over to Shane and going. dude this is the best I've ever felt in. my entire life yeah I was like yeah this. and like less than 10 minutes later I'm.
like dry heaving running up the steps at. the bill Stadium you know like when a. dog is about to puke that's what I looks. like dude I was. like whole body have you never taken. Aderall before that was I gave him a Zen. I gave him a six the nicotine will. [ __ ] kill you you should become a. nicotine Shaman dude they have them in. the Amazon the Bros were hit me up for. them the whole night like these are so. good yeah I was like you should try. Lucy just kicked in promo code drink hey.
guys oh man I'm so happy you had that. experience dude dude and the wedding the. the best part was so I at the wedding. and so again Britney has to leave put. the kids to bed or help out and so I'm. like all right I'll hold down the for. here so I'm at the wedding I'm by myself. and then it's like I'm sitting there. seeing the Dance Floor I'm like truly. everyone was deserted their tables and. everyone's P it wasn't humongous wedding. but it was a decent size so I'm standing. there by myself all now it's like social.
anxiety is on a thousand I go what the. [ __ ] what am I going to do with myself. now what why I'm just standing there I'm. like why were you just standing there. this is what I got to the Crux of so I'm. sitting there and I'm just sipping red. wines all night smoking my vape pen I'm. be like dude why cuz I was I was I was. going to hit the dance floor I hit this. I don't want to crash Flor I know dude I. know I do and then I but I'm feeling I. have this weird feeling I get it all the. time and I go I'm sitting there by. myself and I go I've access a deep. subconscious strata of thought where I. feel unwanted that's where my social.
anxiety comes from I go dude same thing. I start talking nice to myself like. they'd love to have you out there on the. dance get out there so I'm like yeah. dude I can have fun with every I go out. it was a blast I had fun I sat there by. myself and danced for like an hour until. Britney got there and then she got there. I'm like so glad you're here come on. let's go wait was that your wife yeah. Britney my wife oh just the impression I. had a good I Che on my wife impression. was insane no it was me oh thought you. and then I ran my wife I was like so. glad you're here I was like wait what it.
was me I ran her extremely disrespectful. I thought you said I thought you accused. me of cheating on my wife and feeling. better at the dance. floor have you put it on I can't fit in. this [ __ ] he couldn't fit in this. [ __ ] thing that's what I was. wondering he's huge yeah yeah this is. like I could imagine coming back to the. hotel on mushrooms throwing it on. but yeah dude that was a transformative. that was fully transformative Wonder. just being like it had a blast and then.
she got there then it was a [ __ ]. bonfire on the beach at the end of it at. 10 p.m. that's awesome see any great. whites out there got a white territory. shark time problem what's that hat. that's Florida Cape Coral I thought it. said cap C yo support Florida strong. dude they got nailed by the hurricane. they got drilled by Ian Florida strong. but yeah dude the uh it was sick it's. sick as [ __ ] dude it was so much fun. Woke Up This is rare I know this a rare. podcast where we both returned man great.
so much fun shit's going well it was. unbelievably the funnest time we're. going to the cape I'm getting the boys. to the cape dude I'll go to the cape we. must you would love trying to take July. off next year dude you would [ __ ] get a. nice time you would love it dude I'd. love to see the guys too they're down. there bro that was another moment guys. does make me very happy there was a lot. of gay dudes at the wedding dude that. was another thing I was getting sew in. my head I was also too I was like they. had a coffee bar there so I was like. smoking the vapen crushing wine and I. was like oo the bonfire so I started.
crushing coffee at like [ __ ] like 8. 8:00 p.m. and I was up and then the. bride came around there's a lot of gay. dudes there at the wedding so the bride. came was like at towards the end she was. like dude we have to do the [ __ ]. flower toss she like was kind of against. I think she was just kind of like this. whole thing let guys in so she I think. has kind of like a oh yeah I have to do. it she got the boys up there to be a. little likes it now so the only people. who heated the call were me and a bunch. of gay guys so we get up and I'm at I'm. with the boys dude and there's like one. or two girls there I'm with the boys and.
I'm like I want my second man you have. to catch this dude I'm like I kept. saying to the boys I'm like I'm on my. second marriage boys I'm the third one's. going to we just a [ __ ] with them dude. they were like they were cackling and. then it just launches overhead and the. girl caught it we're all like [ __ ] you. got mossed by a girl yeah dude she they. she you remind me of Fitzpatrick trying. to catch the ball against my dear friend. Gabe. Davis she is ripping the flowers out of. your hand that was I was W there were so. many gay dudes there and I was like. watching them and I was like dude these. guys got crushed dude got crushed I was.
just watch I could in my head I could. see just the [ __ ] level of just. non-stop Decades of bullying in their. face and I was sitting on the edge of. the dance FL like [ __ ] poor Fellers bro. got [ __ ] yeah I was feeling for them. feeling for the boys I was like dude. these yeah but now they're having the. time of their lives dude dancing they're. on boats with each other that was part. of the thing I'm like I think they had a. like a trial by fire where they've been. completely just eviscerated yeah into. they were like dude you can't hurt me.
anymore I'm going to dance as hard as I. can on this dance meanwhile I'm sitting. there straight as hell being like I. don't think anybody wants me here yeah. deep down inside but you got out and cut. a rug got out what type of moves are you. doing bro I was [ __ ] walking at one. point you [ __ ] walked yeah I was [ __ ]. walking I had a feeling you might I was. had a feeling you might [ __ ] Walk I I. apolog it was decent bro and but I the. thing is I overdid it I did it once. everyone was like yeah and then I just. kept crit walking then Britney grabbed. me by the arm and was like dude stop uh. a couple of the players caught me sassin.
Lam trying to do the gritty in David. moner and they were like Y what the. [ __ ] what a great time good times how do. you feel you're usually a anxious little. guy what do you mean how do you feel. about the weekend you have a nice time. oh I had a blast anyway you did so well. on stage well thank you yeah yeah I. didn't know I I thought SAS might suck. I did I did son of a boy Dad I said. those guys are funny as hell oh they are.
I can tell that was the best episode. we've ever done dude by a mile I told. you I said you're a comedy podcaster bro. I saw I said you're a [ __ ] comedy. podcast you're comedy podcaster you're a. comedy genius you've been tweeting since. you were sixth grade. true yeah I feel like ass right now you. still feel bad from the weekend sweating. profusely dude speaking of the mushies. hit me with the sweats when I got back. to the hotel full sweats. it's crazy yeah that's when I hit the. mirror I was like.
whoa I can't imagine looking in the. mirror while I'm mushrooms you should do. it once it's I don't think I can handle. it I have the other half of that candy. bar I'm going to eat that in Las Vegas. that's pretty sick and that's gonna be a. mistake yeah true it'll be funny that's. like going on that's like the whole the. whole city is dve and Busters true. that's going to [ __ ] you up truly DAV. Buster is city with with the cardi bees. yeah. Vegas suck you should invite gab you. should invite Gabe Davis out dude don't.
talk about my [ __ ] bro like that to. do with his friend don't tell me what me. and my best friends to. do. whoa. [ __ ] we should switch to the. Pat We any [ __ ] ad we'll do we'll do. so we'll do uh whatam call yeah we cut. him in go join the patreon or I for real. I'm GNA come to your house with a weapon. yo seriously it's about that time for us. to start going to people's houses and. committing assault the Chinese Communist. Party Dude is coming and pulling people.
out. fishing do a net on a guy in public just. a Poseidon. dagger. goodbye thank you Buffalo Bills. [Music].
