Ep 412 - Rookie of the Year (feat. Rone)

wow wow Wes I went to snap what happened. to your [ __ ] hand I was peeling. apples this morning I peeled my finger. uhhuh it went right down my goddamn. finger dude peeling a granny smith it. wasn't too bad I used to love Granny. Smith dude I still do really I'm a red. gu now you're red guy I switch so now. I'm uh excuse me R excuse me brother oh. hey here's our guest good to see you. both is it uh red delicious or. Macintosh that's a question what's the. crisp what's H honey Cris honey crisp.

are ni yeah I like a nice crisp I don't. like the Reds that are like soft yeah. yeah that's a Macintosh I think. disgusting brainy and soft not with that. either not trying to I'm I still hold. down Granny Smith but I I've got sour. and tart now dude I love them this is. apple season yeah it is so now what I do. though I used to do Straight Smith but. now I've got into baking apples so you. got to do a little variety throw some. Smith in there for the tartness um I. think I threw some honey crisps actually. in there wow look at you can I see the. cut can you uh show me the we have.

bandages it's small but it was in the. the Heat of the Moment I didn't want. blood to get on the apples I was cutting. so just a little Nick it's nothing crazy. okay but I was leing but you still you. did the right thing by covering it up. through the Band-Aid so I can continue I. was just like yes some neop sporn n just. the band bandage the acid from The. Granny Smith probably [ __ ] oh that. probably hurt probably just cured it all. out yes cleaned it out but I I heard. kissing a wound will actually make it. better scientifically does it does the. saliva I heard that too the saliva. actually does it yeah yeah I like that.

cannot be true though oh it's true but. saliva somebody else's saliva in your. cut your mommy and daddy's you're. talking about you're talking your mommy. and D my mommy and dadd would probably. break out in. herpes [ __ ] disgusting my [ __ ] of a. dad you had to get your finger amput my. [ __ ] gay [ __ ] of a dad yeah he was it. was a gay [ __ ] you got AIDS from your. daddy kissing your wounds whoa dude the. hell my dad doesn't have HIV I thought. he was a su dude no he just said he was. gay I said he was gay [ __ ] dude I mean I.

thought when you know scientific I would. for real give anything for my dad to. come down with monkey. pox if he just somehow not sexually just. he accidentally got it just for the. giggles just to be like dude. what you doing sharing a. needle also he would rock it the pox he. would totally be like what what's the. pox he could have serious sordes on his. face and he'd be like the hell what are. you talking about just arms bare short.

sleeve shirt yeah you rock pox do people. die from moox at all or is it just like. no I think it's just a it's just. unsightly you just become a freak yeah. we just it Cycles through though I don't. even think it's that bad I think they. just want Mony pox is nothing yeah the. only thing that's scary about it is the. stigma true but now everybody else is. getting other [ __ ] and they think it's. monkey pox o monkey pox is rough dude oh. yeah what's it looking like holy [ __ ]. what's it looking like yeah if that's.

real but you never know you can Google. yeah true true just about anything it. looks like the Skittles commercial where. like pop the Skittles man monkey box is. bad dude little little. bumpy it will be funny if your dad got. it though yeah if he accidentally got it. if it ran through the mechan the Elks in. Mechanicsburg the Bros just came down. with it just some dudes [ __ ] like. over the game [ __ ] like yeah all it. takes is one of the Elks to go suck. someone at the Y destigmatized.

true there's got to be one guy in the. Elks there's definitely some homosexuals. at the Elks yeah wait what's the Elks. the Elks Lodge it's the Fraternal. Brotherhood they have a they have a. order they have a man frat yeah they. have a frat it's just for dudes to get. the [ __ ] out of the house is it is there. dues do you have to pay to get in yeah. they like my dad was named the Rookie of. the Year what his first year they have a. rookie of the year and my father has a. picture at the Elks and well he did it. for a year called the Rookie of the Year. it was a picture of Phil a Blazer how do.

you suit how did you get Rookie status. just dominated showed up non-stop put. down brus yeah what kind of stats damn. this guy's. unprecedented that is actually pretty. sad what getting the Rookie of the Year. of the year at a local bar when you're. 60 years old of rule people are like. holy [ __ ] this guy's an alcoholic what's. the age range for the dudes there's some. young bro my Bros are getting into it. from back home which is Elks does rule.

it's like a dollar a beer yeah that. sounds incredible D is you get like 50. cents beers there was a bar in. Westchester called the Eagles same a. popcorn. machine you got to see if you can play. TV they have like one big screen TV. that's like one of it's not a flat. screen it's like a box it's like 800lb. television they all gather around watch. the Steelers on it that's sick dude yeah. there's a place used to go to in. Westchester you could drink fck a dollar. you go there get hammered at the eagle. and then you you it was all like Club. you everyone to sign you in it was sick. when go home I go to Friday night bingo.

night at the Elks Bingo is fun then I. lie to my mom I say they called that you. have B and she'll be like Bingo and. everyone's like oh boo everyone gets mad. whoever gets Bingo and then the guy. comes over and he's like it's not a good. Bingo the whole place like I wiped my. car we got to go over the numbers again. that's not Rookie of the Year material. no that's a good trick though when you. trick your mom is so [ __ ] funny she. was devastated she hasn't really.

forgiven me for that the fake all Bingo. fake yeah if you get someone to lie on. Bingo she probably trust you so hard she. was probably like oh my God this is it. I've never won anything in my life yeah. dude especially if if you know you're. responsible for someone wiping their. card that's [ __ ] crazy yes I wipe my. card but that's pre that's on them. that's true there is there's a chance of. a not good B anytime they call 69 the. whole place. goes Bingo must get rowdies that's all. they have right that's bad Bingo. discipline dude if someone wipes your.

car it's like dude how about you get the. [ __ ] out of here yeah [ __ ] spazz and. you got to cheat you got to I cheat how. how do you cheat you get oh multiple. cards oh you know what you lay out all. your cards and whatever the first number. called you check and say all right I'm. going to go with this card yeah get a. little Advantage up top oh my god get a. couple ad yeah I'm a couple brusis deep. at this point playing bingo at the Elks. whatever takes whatever it takes I swear. to God that's about as happy as I get. that's so [ __ ] funny so nice is there. ever Scandal any cheating scandal or. just yeah there's some accusations yeah.

whenever one particular table is doing. well the rest of the bars they hate them. they're talking they're like against. them and then yeah but how can you even. really cheat in Bingo he just told us I. mean you can start like that you but. that's not like a cheat bring you could. bring extra cards you can play multip. you not use a marker you got you should. be using a marker you can use chips you. can check your cards and be like. actually this card's doing pretty good. I'm going to move yeah you can play. multiple cards I'm saying playing. multiple. cards it keep.

it what's and what kind of prize money. are you looking at life changing I mean. we're talking about blackout the final. card full blackout final round 600 bucks. and at the Elks that's 1,200. beers that's Rookie of year [ __ ] that's. incredible dude every night at midnight. they all do this it's like a it's the. secret dude I shouldn't be divulging. this the Elks are going to be pissed. yeah I don't know the the I forget which. one's the Moose the Moose might be this. the Elks might be this yeah yeah it's.

one of those at midnight they to the. veterans dude to all the fallen. troops just bunch of drunk. guys it's like they're teasing Theo. respectful almost none of them were. troops they're all just draft Dodgers. they got to hold it down though for the. troops old dudes love troops so much of. course what's not to love what else is. there to love though once you're older. are there troops in there do the troops. hit hit it back to them or like they all.

yeah I think it's actually just for dead. Elks I could be wrong yeah for the ones. whove gone before us for the rookies of. the. Year rookies of the years is have short. shelf lives dude what if you joined and. didn't get Rookie of the Year dude how. how furious with yourself would you be. if my father got it and I didn't ex it'd. be like a griffy it'd be like a k griffy. situation exact I might come in catch a. fly ball in front of him be like that's. just goofing around true I might be K. griffy otherwise it' be like the. beginning of glad you have to find your.

dad yeah I never knew dude I just. watched Gladiator again put it on in the. Green Room this weekend was nuts I was I. watched ghost in the darkness oh a lot. of guys don't know about that Kilmer bro. know Kilmer that was one my fa that was. when I was a kid that was that was on. replay got that from Blockbuster it was. just like holy [ __ ] yeah this is. unbelievable yeah it's actually pretty. good it's not as bad as you would think. uh then we watched Gladiator got in an. argument with a comedian named Mike. Turner he was sitting there he's trying. to trash it Gladiator yeah he was trying.

to trash Gladiator what what were the. what were the points he saying it was. too long I don't know. he's made me sick yeah that's crazy it's. like chick [ __ ] I was just I didn't want. to say it's fully chick [ __ ] that's. saying movies is too long for girls. that's girl stuff dude he said he was. like Top Gun was the best movie I've. ever seen that's probably also long is. that not long well it's long but it's Al. you'd have to be you'd have to be simple. I tell you something I've never seen Top. Gun the first or the new one either of. them I've never seen a Top Gun they're. Prett good they they're sweet I don't.

know why I've never never the new one. the new one's cool to watch yeah but. it's you'd have to be a [ __ ] to be like. this is best picture yeah I need gladi I. need so I need [ __ ] Pat I need. regicide or patricide for me to even. care about a movie what about like you. said fratricide what about a fratricide. fat I I could deal with that too. fratricide fride patricide I was saying. there was some patricide in Top Gun kind. of did you get it N I thought you had it. I thought I did too but it [ __ ].

bandaid creat wind TN I always feel. quick as [ __ ] whenever I catch one but. then they're like the slowest dumbest. animal yeah that was a that was a slow. moving fly dude that's like a was pretty. pathetic of a human to be like I caught. you got you you're like a single cell. organism. [ __ ] you're so dumb you don't even know. you're alive but yeah it was good it was. good they gave me this awesome the club. gave me an autograph John Rocker Jersey. as a gift they must have done a little. research they did they contacted my. agent and said what would he like they.

say my agent said autograph John. Rocker where when do you you think he. signed that after after the tie R oh you. might almost had him I didn't get him I. didn't get him quick. [ __ ] Scott yeah he head faked he's. hearing all this Top Gun talking he's. [ __ ] having a good time he he's in. the danger zone dude he's bombing you um. yeah how did they know you like that. when did when did I'll tell you what. happened Mya baseball my Jew agent my.

white Jew agent he wore a. [ __ ] he wore a Jackie Robinson. Dodgers jersey to my special tap I. thought it was a Michael Vic Jersey he. was no he I wish he was a Michael Vic. Jersey I would have given him credit. kidding he was a white dude rocking a. Jackie Robinson and I was. like. bro kind of it's crazy yeah that's kind. of crazy he like a lot of guys are. telling me it's a lot of black guys have. been complimenting it just so you know. and I was like I bet they're kind of. making fun.

yeah definitely that's crazy it's he's. the man by the way I do he is the man. but rocking a rock it's like wearing an. In Living Color shirt it's like if I. were to wear like an In Living Color. shirt it's like yeah dude that's that's. not for you bro yeah it for real it's. like a blmt it is a BLM BLM yeah exactly. it's a real it's a not fake one Jack. robs was a Jew right Jackie. Robinson was the origin he was a real.

juice yeah he was that's how he got the. league yeah he was one of the true juice. but it was uh yeah I was like dude get a. kofax like stop kofax is at least. putting on honestly you know what he. said the kofax jerseys are too. expensive and they're like sold out. every Jews keep buying Jews love. baseball they do but anyway I was making. fun of him he's like what should I be. wearing I said John Rocker John Rocker. true and they found they found one. autograph then they got a autograph John. Rocker what gun show are they selling.

that at I don't know shout out to rocker. for still selling [ __ ] that's. sick that's a Victorious weekend dude. two movies Rock oh and I saw a movie in. theaters what' you say I saw the new. spookiest movie this the Halloween. season smile what is it dude check it. out I think it's the best horror movie. I've ever seen what they got a sweet. marketing Campa spooky incredible. marketing what's it about tell them. about the marketing yeah tell me the. marketing they just have like cre that. you know how when you smile and like and.

like bend your face down a little bit. like this they just have people go into. sporting events and they're just. populated amongst the crowd they'll just. like show up on the Jumbotron and like a. yellow shirt doing the creepiest smile. that and don't move the entire game a. baseball game sit behind him and play. Just nine innings play Joker smile Joker. smiling the entire time cuz that's what. happens this thing yeah there you go. Sean you'd be the scariest one yeah yeah. I'm not a fan I don't like that kind of. stuff it's scary it's demic demon that.

when whoever is possessed by it it. Smiles at you whenever you see it like. it possesses someone and then Smiles at. you then does like come and kill then it. comes and gets you it's a very scary. smile yeah that's not that makes me feel. yeah not at ease was funny saw spooky. thing too me and fance were in the car. on the way to it and I was like do you. like scary movies like do you freak out. he was like no dude we got in there he. screamed he screamed the entire movie. out loud anytime there was a jump he'd. be like. oh oh.

a like during any stressful scene he was. like I was like dude stop shut the [ __ ]. up this is how crazy fance is he went. and bought candy before he didn't even. tried to hide it he bought he carried a. trash bag in or good for him at least. which I I couldn't believe ziplock or a. CVS bag no you know it's about times we. all some people came out of that closet. of I'm like kind of agreed but hold up.

his candy yeah we do need to honor. him he did bring in the guess the candy. he got you'll never ever guess good in. penes what type of psycho this guy is no. well you'll never get salt Saltwater. taffies whoa what the [ __ ] yeah what is. he 70 that's crazy yeah where did he. where did he secure the bag he went to a. CVS in Phoenix and got saltwater taffies. what the [ __ ] brought him into the. movies and then screamed the whole movie. it was the most [ __ ].

that's a wild experience that you had. that's [ __ ] crazy dude salt Taffy's. not at the beach is crazy then I you. know I'll be honest I started indulging. with him yeah they're so good dude Sal I. don't know I haven't had salt water Tavi. since I was like eight yeah they're. yummy yeah I'd feel I'd feel strange. yeah in I'd be curious yeah exactly I'd. be curious about. them like they're not fresh made on the. boardwalk no a lot of flavor yeah. where's the salt water where are they. getting the salt water.

from. that's there's noal hard he are hard. hitters you might be the next. Co what was the spooky thing you saw oh. I saw a play The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. whoa you went to see a play my niece was. in yeah my nie was in I thought you were. going to see play be so mad my niece was. in a play dude my niece was in a play it. was uh she did a fantastic job but the. audio guy should be fired really there. was people's whole mics were cut oh come. out and do like a musical number you.

just couldn't. hear must have been packed was it packed. in there it's pretty packed it was like. an outdoor type thing too it was rain. but we were like under like a barn type. structure oh it was raining the whole. time but the little kids got scared cuz. there was ghosts coming out and they the. one one lady or one teacher came the. actors got scared no my the nieces and. nephews like the two-year-olds were like. oh [ __ ] on edge how old were the. actors in the play uh they ranged from. like 9 till about like High School. school seniors damn yeah oh so it was.

probably a pretty decent. production yeah you enjoyed it yeah it. was good was it spooky when when he came. out when the Headless the headless. horsemen was that was the best above and. beyond crazy they had a real horse damn. real horse and had a real [ __ ] horse. how did honestly did you go like this I. was like who I know you you would went I. was I was pretty pumped dude yeah cuz. there were the ghost the ghouls were. pretty scary they were coming out I was. telling my I'm like don't worry these. are just Ghouls and they can't the real. horse and I was like M get the [ __ ].

behind get the [ __ ] behind me what the. [ __ ] dude that's a real [ __ ] horse no. don't worry it's F get back this is real. this is. scary but in the play one my niece was. in the play and one of the teacher iaba. crane like smacked her hand cuz he was. like that's what they do to the kids and. the kids all the kids are [ __ ] up. about it like crane hit a girl they hit. he hits all the students so they they. come they go apparently the I I forgot. what the whole play was about I I still. don't really remember it but the he came. out he's like spare the ride spoil the.

child kind of thing so he's there's a. whole song about beating kids and he. goes and like smacks their hand and like. dude my two nephews were just like did. he just hit Satie and they were like. they were [ __ ] up which one Chuck. Chuck isn't he he's a unit dude he. especially him my sister Saw s get hit. Horsemen might be in trouble my sister. said his last words if we're going to. bed like why did that guy hit s like. that he was [ __ ] up about it dude he's. like 6'2 who you talking about the. little Chuck talk about the little guy.

yeah yeah he's he'll be a big boy how. old is he he's like one I saw him he was. 200 lb ja he's huge dude went to that. party I was like how old is heck he's a. huge baby you're just staring at the. ceiling he's he's three now he must be. huge he prob had a shank under his bed. dude yeah he's three now dude he wanted. to [ __ ] that guy OT played crane was. played by a girl too so that's that's. how they got around you like I was dude. I was n too pleased yeah we can't have. anything I was like what is this 1912. dude what are we doing yeah yeah girls.

with no head yeah it wasas if it's a man. have a man play the [ __ ] part yeah I. get that [ __ ] right yeah it was it you. have to lie to them and be like this was. a good level production did you have to. go up and be like this is actually like. a college level production no I just. focused on my niece I said You [ __ ]. knocked it out of the park yeah that's. all I said give him notes afterwards. give him notes for a couple days later. kind of let it cool down a little bit. was cool down I said you knocked it out. of the park that [ __ ] AV guy is a. dumbass though your child must have been. so long seeing seeing a parent get.

serious must be like oh [ __ ] what the. when the horse came out like having a. parent it was just all. reflex yeah like when you're in the car. do you do oh your kids are in the back. in a kids seat yeah yeah remember when. your mom my mom used to do that every. time I know cross really sweet yeah it. is nice now that you think about it that. I come through and fracture your [ __ ]. nobody cares about me Jesus Christ what. you're popular I got this is. unbelievable is it good new Schultz said. I was on The Daily Show now it's and now. I'm getting texts from like people from.

high school like dude what a comeback. congratulations that's sick man congrats. bro you got big shoes to fill though. Trevor Noah Trevor Noah I laughed cried. with him I don't know about you guys I. laugh whole journey the whole cuz I was. like who's going to fill [ __ ] Cole. bear shoes or John Stewart sh John. Stewart oh that actually is tough tough. shed to I mean he was he invented that. genre basically of like snarky liberal. that's funny yeah except he could do it.

yeah he since then he's spawned but. nonstop that's that's comedy Now is. people trying to be like uh actually Mr. President I think you don't know what. the [ __ ] you're talking about yeah John. Oliver just John oliv some [ __ ] spicy. facts but then they get the the thing is. now there's the next phase which is grow. a beard and then go back on late night. as like the wisen guy cached Letterman. did it and John Stewart both grew now. they grew their beards and they're like. yeah I'm just into like Pottery now and. the crowd's like oh so Charming.

Letterman grew the [ __ ] out of his he. came back in Salah he did dude he came. back ful see if the dude if he was. really about it he would come back as a. militant Islam like I've actually. converted to militant Islam the holy. Infidel must die that would be SI show. of all time' be the funniest [ __ ] ever. it would be funny to have a biased late. night show like a James Cordon that was. like Sharia law oh dude like uh women. getting. abortions.

[ __ ] am I right folks that's crazy. have you seen this have you heard about. [ __ ] disgusting and just like kick it. to the roots Roots just have [ __ ]. Quest Love play out they might they. might yeah they might be Muslims they. probably are Philly dudes yeah Philly. You' you'd have to kick it to some. [ __ ] dude just on like a big bulbous. flute. like yeah this is the Star Wars man hit. it there's a place in Fr.

just every time yeah dude they really. did start the archetype of just like a. snarky host yeah and he was best their. best friends all black band he I hey. guys can we talk as friends real quick. on camera you laugh as hard as you can. now that's let's not put that smut on. Stuart that was that was coar just we. were watching some coar highlights and. good Christ Co Pelosi was on last night. top tier television and there was also. who was the other guy the um Samantha B.

N who was like Fallon had he I think he. had something like that yeah yeah yeah. it's crazy that they're like the man we. he who should not be named when they're. talking about Trump they literally had. him on I thought they were really when. he was campaigning they brought Trump on. did they really yeah Snell had him host. oh true. true F tussled his hair that's crazy no. respect see you see Yeezy yeah Yeezy. Rock Roll White that was Candace Owens. and Candace White lives matter yes did.

he have uh did he explain it did he have. a reasoning for it what was reasoning. behind it he was he said it was to point. out that BLM was a. fraud and it was funny I was looking at. Twitter today and like every top. comment's a black person like he's. spitting like he's not lying except for. Jaden Smith yeah I mean Jaden Smith yeah. he was the only one that J Smith was. pissed yeah he walked out what does he. think White lives don't. matter true just we're saying White. lives matter it doesn't mean yes I mean.

personally I think all lives. matter that's such a [ __ ] funny. intersection of philos or like political. stuff and t-shirts of just the most. [ __ ] obvious. stuff well I mean yeah obviously black. Liv man what for to say all it's like. dude you're missing the point dude it's. about black people right now yeah about. black lives specifically yeah the point. was that all the leaders of BLM ended up. buying like being rich10 million. Mansions they all got list on Mansions.

yeah yeah so that was what Yeezy was. pointing out didn't wasn't that the. thing that the money of it too had like. if it could only sit for like 60 days. then like by law got funneled inun into. like DNC I don't know if that's I don't. know if that's Russian disinformation. but could be Russian disinformation. apparently got funneled into the dude's. Pockets themselves I can't believe. [ __ ] Russians tricked us like this. the Russians yeah are they tricking us. again right now I think I'm being. tricked is there another trickery going. on right now because I I got my antennas. up cuz I'm hearing a ton of [ __ ] coming. out what do you got what you I don't.

know people are [ __ ] like throwing. themselves off a Cliffs not to join the. Army and [ __ ] like that or in Russia. yeah in Russia but I don't know if I'm. getting tricked the other way I think. that's yeah Russ Russ yeah true to. demoralize them that'd be so awkward too. it's going be weird in like 20 years. when like we have to have like the bad. guy movies like the Russia Ukraine. situation you can't tell who's the good. guy who's the bad they're both just like. eating like raw potatoes and you're like. wait what the [ __ ] the same last name. you're like H [ __ ] the guy's like he's a.

bad guy he sounds Russian just two dudes. in like really [ __ ] shitty sweaters. you're like [ __ ] I got I got who's the. enemy just block. Apartments he's wearing the striped. turtleneck that looks like it's from. 1986 Tik Tok saying there's going to be. nuclear war in Russia dude Tik tok's. giving it dude I can't believe they're. feeding that there has been an uptick of. nuclear war talk this week that was BP. was talking about that who who's. breaking points was talking about they. were saying we're get nukes they're like.

they're the title was like high chance. or something like that of nuclear war. but they're like we don't want to. fearmonger dude I will be so [ __ ]. pissed if we get nuked well apparently. Putin was saying like America used them. and they're telling us not to and like. work worked out pretty [ __ ] well for. America so why the [ __ ] can't we use him. dude but right after you got The Daily. Show I hate when I get beat by Logic. what when Putin destroys America with. logic yeah you guys used them what the. [ __ ] yeah they hit him with two wrongs.

don't make it right nice dud nuclear. Holocaust don't make a really sweet deal. dude yeah you know how you want this war. to end quickly yeah no yeah you can't do. you guys can't do it well they'd have to. Nuke us they can't nuke Ukraine what. you're the one who told me that it's too. close to them Ukraine yeah they can't. nuke no they could nuke Ukraine they. could wouldn't it [ __ ] them up I guess. they already no they'd be all right it. depends what they use how big it is true. there's some small there some small boys. you can came out like guys we've updated. NC guys yeah there's little guys you. could use little button mushroom cloud.

yeah little little but if they hit yeah. if they got us that would be that would. suck if they hit New York cuz they're. only going for New York dude you think. better not t obviously don't you think. might go DC they might go west coast it. might be easier for Russia to hit the. West I'm not. sure actually no it's closer depends. where they're firing from I would. imagine they're firing from the their. I'll tell you what I'll be embarrassed. and dismayed if we get hit with nukes. from Russia and meanwhile all dudes are. in DC being like he's a [ __ ] r no.

he's actually a piece of [ __ ] it's like. dude you guys could have been watching. the nukes we should have been guarding. for nuclear war yeah I I don't I don't I. don't think it's going to happen I hope. not I truly don't think it seems like it. won't it seems like we're all adults. yeah I don't I don't think unless Putin. just wants to get one off before he dies. unless he does some [ __ ] like really. tiny nuke just to say he did it that'll. kind of pissed me off yeah what's that. North Korea launched missiles at Japan. at Japan over Japan or some [ __ ] over.

sorry over Japan which is always like. what is this [ __ ] buzzing buzzing the. dude off the full Sky show dude yeah. what's up just so you know Japan was. probably what the [ __ ] dude damn they. will go down as the. big this is the third time Japan's gone. it's kind of [ __ ] up this send them. over Japan it is those boys have been. through it yeah dude I know they're just. trying to chill them dude trying to eat. fish and live in [ __ ] you imagine.

Japan cat got nuked. again and then the whole world was like. no more nukes come on man if I was. Japanese i'' be like dude we get nukes. now we're allowed to use them oh yeah we. get three now true yeah that that's a. fair what if that was like the new. Geneva pack after we like fight Russia. like look if anyone's going to Nuke. anyone it's Japan Japan every 50 years. let's just send every bomb we have to. Japan and get over it they're. tough they'll be back dude in fact it. kind of helps them every time they've.

been nuked they've done better yeah they. get more beautiful they're. smarter maybe nukes are good what if we. get nuked and get knocked might get that. might get our [ __ ] going we would get we. would start pulling up our pants and. start acting like if we got nuked. there'd be a lot less foolishness I'll. tell you that we unify we would unify. we' start focusing bring back the flags. we'd be looking at the flags real they. might hit Puerto Rico they better Puerto. Rico dude that would that would. Galvanize the country. if Russ puer Rico they hit Puerto Rico I.

swear to God if they hit Puerto Rico I. think things would continue as usual no. I'm Puerto Rico got n we'd be like holy. [ __ ] Aaron. judge they interrupt the broadcast. interrupt the Carnage judge hits 62. judge is seventh all time on the Home. Run list if's smart and again I I. wouldn't call for him to do this it' be. funny if he nuked every Democrat. Democrat run City and like there's other. half of America. like look at Chicago yeah the Democrat.

Mayors what's Putin doing to me he doing. my girlfriend's mother is here this. weekend or this week and uh it's been. fun yeah she's a full Fox News mom. really and she's a last night I got I. got in her head she's a Cubs fan she's. obsessed with the Cubs so I was just. well first I was the reason I'm bringing. this up is I kept hitting her with Lori. life foot say Lor just say Lor start. explaining and she would like that. [ __ ] [ __ ] i' be like.

yo uh cuz she's you met her she's a very. very sweet woman she's wow wow [ __ ] edit. that yeah she. whoever uh she's very very sweet which. is funny and then if you just say Lori. light foot it's sickone yeah she just. crushes herass she literally gets so mad. but then last night she choked me what. yeah there was a couple cocktails. everybody was we there was some wine. red. wines hey don't get me wrong I was like.

hey. stop you me and your daughter on this. couch you me. who messed. up slop was out dude I started running I. started running circles around the couch. you started. air she listens to this that's not great. yo BR. stop I was sitting right there you're in.

the spot you're in the spot that's right. where I was oh yeah the pH but no I was. just talking about how the Cubs sold. their entire team and they don't give a. [ __ ] about the city and she was. devastated because she knew the truth on. white sock bro and that's what I said I. said you should have put on that [ __ ]. black and white you should have immed. the second your team your whole team. gets gutted like that yeah you got to go. to the southide the [ __ ] this sucks we. paid [ __ ] Ryan Howard $800 million to. just. live there and they got rid of stunk.

yeah they got rid of schw dude they got. rid of every yeah that's what started it. I was like yo the Cubs I was I kept. being like Oh man the Cubs are about to. clinch the play oh [ __ ] that's the. Phillies what happened to the Cubs. that's our guy she was like we swept you. this season I was like no one even. watched those games no one cares no one. even knew you guys were playing your. team got sold you rattled her cage yeah. it was fun she can't put the [ __ ] CL. she got me she J me the Cubs are the are. the lib team of the town for sure they. are the lib team and then the socks.

that's devastating they're not going to. like that they are though I mean it's. like I know there's a Fox News mom. listening to this right now fuming dude. Li. team the Cubs are no they're not the lib. team of the two they definit socks are. not Obama dude yeah he's a socks guy he. is the one but remember when those two. white socks guys like jumped over the he. Cubs now though that's old Obama. Grassroots Obama Obama now Cubs yeah but. I think Cubs is a lot of I think there's. a lot of white frat Fox News Bros that.

are at Wrigleyville yeah I think that's. all low dude I mean yeah it's the north. side of Chicago Chicago is like. perfectly yin-yang segregated yeah it's. literally all black sou yeah it's it's. crazy D every time I go there I just go. dude this is nuts when you get in that. Chicago. bus bro hey Ben. there all right. D I'm going to make sure she like for.

real do not watch this you know that's. that's an obscure reference dude that's. not. good oh damn. [ __ ] no keep it keep it dude I dude I. live and die by the sword of Comedy. heard that dude sword of truth dude. there was a uh [ __ ] I don't know what. reminded me of this something we were. talking about reminded me of there I. watched yet another project Veritas of. getting a gay. dude a gay teacher Spill the Beans it.

was the funniest you know what project. baritas is dude they reached out to me. one time to uh they were like trying to. spill the beans on no they wanted me to. on uh they wanted me to like infiltrate. like Sports Illustrated or some [ __ ]. like that I was like and you denied the. call dude Sports Illustrated get no no. give me some give me like a high level. true you know what I mean what you going. to find from Sports Illustrated I don't. care about like taking down Sports. Illustrated or whatever it was true why. were they trying to bring them down I. don't even know they they they like just. sent me a DM that I never even responded. to I know we we're going to go back to.

project ver but while we're on the topic. of sports journalists shut up about. concussions just shut up about it dude. done with it yeah I'm tired dude Sports. journalists have gotten so like liberal. yeah like not liberal that's I'm I'm. being a idiot but like uh you know what. I mean when Tua got concussed they were. like there was a lot of pearling yeah. there was a lot it's. like let to where they can't gleefully. cover Antonio Brown if they're going to. talk [ __ ] on concussions they're so.

happy about Antonio Brown having likey. [ __ ] happen to him like helicopter in. his dick they're like what the [ __ ] is. this guy doing Shannon sharp you see. that Shon mad about well I saw the. picture he's right Antonio BR Wilding. but he also got perfect [ __ ] cut his. head off one. game anonio Brown got dinged up dude. that guy's brain must be yeah he's wild. was he in his own house showing his. penis or was he like a hotel no I think. he was in like he was in Dubai Dubai. where you cannot show your penis you. definitely can't show your penis in.

Dubai but I think he got out Scott free. but he was like assing a girl do you. ever ass someone you just put your ass. on. someone dude in the pool bare ass he was. jumping off smashing a lady he was sming. face smash lady what was the lady's. reaction she actually I thought I. thought she would be with it no she was. like sheing trying to get away she was. in that first and then she kind of doggy. paddled away she tried to get away like. she moved quick and he started like just. taking his dick out helicop began yeah. and the the picture they used to blur.

out his penis is extremely flattering. compliment holy hell SE that thing is. crazy do you think that he was pinching. and stretching or do you think that he. was rock hard no I've analyzed it he's. got I think he was rock hard really dude. there's no way you can't stretch like. that and maintain some girth like he had. in there yeah trust me I've stretched it. it out even even I would even give him. even if he stretched I'd be like good on. you bro yeah that a big stretch. Armstrong dude [ __ ] czy is dude yeah.

I support his activities in. Dubai we can't ask women dude you're. telling me I can't put my ass she was. horse playing too with him she kind of. gave him a little bit of a green light. she wasn't asking for it but what I me. what was the green light I'm about to be. a sports journalist right now and say. what you're doing is extremely she. wasn't asking for it you're sexist. [ __ ] she Wasing around in the in the. pool she probably having a good time. they were at first chicken fights maybe. and then he just kind of took he read.

the signals wrong and then she had the. doggy paddle away we've all been there. dude she did swim like as fast as she. could to like 10 met away and like out. of distance like she saw Gator all like. big Ked Instagram thought lady swim. exactly in the doggy there a big titted. doggy. paddle. yeah has to probably minnows how was the. lady a babe who got asked was the victim. of the assing it was kind of grainy I. couldn't tell. sh yeah I'm I'm jealous of people who.

are like uh. exhibitionists like dud you just reveal. dong publicly I a I don't think it. should be a crime I think it points to. our own sexual immaturity yeah it's like. yeah if if dudes were just getting naked. on the train that's on us if we're like. if we feel any type of way about it yeah. dudes dudes are allowed to get naked on. the train are they yeah I don't think. you get in almost any trouble no you do. dude's get in yeah you don't get in. trouble you don't New York you could. you're got free dick depends what you.

look like you got to look like you got. to look ratty as [ __ ] yeah if you were. in a. suit hold you down all the authority. wait you say you couldn't Christian Gray. no you could not be like I'm into a lot. of dark stuff if you were to like lay on. the train and like cover yourself with a. newspaper you could just show your nut. sack to everybody yeah no that's what's. up if you're a little dirty step in the. right direction you could here's a good. idea you put a trash bag on his pants. trash bag his shirt get on have a boom. box play the Hulk Hogan.

intro and then just lay down you could. sleep for no one would touch you for. hours yeah true especially the pox going. around [ __ ] yeah you could [ __ ] the. entire time block gets hot take it dump. I haven't I took the train recently I. haven't been on the train since Co M and. yeah it's chaos down there penises are a. Miss they they're all about chaos there. are penises dream come true. finally this is a New York I knew I've.

never I've never not seen it now it is. startling you know when you see a dude's. dick out on the street yeah but I've. never not gotten 10t further and been. like yo that was hilarious true in that. 10t range though it is like you got a. little pep in your stuff it's like a cup. of coffee dude it is a cup of coffe ni. little cup of adrenaline rush yeah get. you you. [ __ ] any time I see almost dud dick I. Rush Starbucks bathroom rush to a turet. dude opening up bathroom [ __ ] backed.

up at the I love we're doing all these. like Starbucks has like bathroom codes. yeah everything has like we're making. we're doing all these measures to. prevent home like every hotel has a. [ __ ] you got to put your key on the. elevator now yeah we're doing everything. we can to. just accept solve the problem oh yeah. other than actually solving the problem. we're just like all right let's make it. hard for these dudes to get anywhere get. anywhere it's make it hard for these. [ __ ] guys it's just a dudes who own. the businesses have you ever like been. in like like my brother had a taco shop. drop and you would get like a homeless. guy walk in and they have to get out.

immediately yeah they [ __ ] up the vi. they crush the vibe for everyone in. there lo come and stand there and start. like you know yeah begging for alms and. it's just not pleasant when you're. eating you're just like no bro dude. that's how it is by the seller that. whole street really is just yeah they'll. run up the ones go to golf though yeah. tiger Hood tiger Hood tiger hoods that's. what's up he has he has a cardboard he. makes cardboard Square golf balls that's. sick and he tries to hit over the street. and he charges that guy's pretty nice. that's see that's awesome and he dresses.

like Tiger Woods he wears the red yeah. but he's an outlier on that street yeah. you run into some tough ombres do you. really yeah they come up just like yeah. me [ __ ] money like and it's these. nice Outdoor Cafe yeah cafes yeah CAF. are P I love the beautiful cafes of. Manhattan I love living in Manhattan. dude during co uh I live in the. financial district and I do. cocaine yeah he did. [ __ ] during Co I was eating at a.

restaurant and uh like right by the. window and a homeless dude just came up. and just like stared at us the entire. time they must had some good dicks and. asses against [ __ ] plastic barriers. dude he and he just PE right he and like. I eventually I had to go outside and. just give I was like I'm so sorry to do. this dude I have to give you $10 to. stand somewhere else like you just can't. stand here like sorry that's a [ __ ]. that's feeding the birds though no it. was feeding the birds but that guy's. going to he just went somewhere else and. took a [ __ ] no he we went back to that.

restaurant and he was there like weeks. later that's his home base for sure he. like got me easily but it was just like. I can't gold R she probably told the. Bros all you got to go was piss in front. of this restaurant [ __ ] idiot I would. have ordered a bottle of champagne. instructed the waiter to pour it on. him repel that man repel. that repel that man he's disgusting me. but what would you have done dude like I. I just couldn't you did the right thing. but like give I had to give him money. and I had to get him away because it was.

just like ruining the experience I would. have got if would you have a waitress. yeah I would have summoned the waitress. and said hey ma'am um as the customer. could you please physically escort that. man off the premises if she stuttered at. all being like what's the matter are you. you not have the physical Brawn and. girth required to move this man you're a. waitress in New York aren't you tough. his nails you tough as hell you badass. areen you mean wait you you. single-handedly defeated Co you're. telling me you can't move this first. respond I've been applauding for you for. months what was I applauding for what.

was I whistling for I need you to. physically bully the schizophrenic man. to another Street you should Crow this. man entice him sexually and lure him to. a park and run back the only way am I. dumb for saying Sports journalists are. getting right AR they doing that on. concussions I mean it is not soft on. concussions but like I don't know how. I'm I don't know how to say this they've. got like super woke they they hit like. actually woke as [ __ ] yeah it's like. dude you cover the NFL don't yeah it is.

the most barbaric sport of all time that. we're just like training dudes to launch. each other like they're the fastest. human beings that muscle can like hold. in a body launching each other at each. other with weapon helmets I mean it is. inherently dangerous but they are also. like like killing people like they're. killing themselves at like crazy rates I. don't know well you ever get a. concussion when you were when you were. bowling I don't think no I mean if I did. never out cold I mean you got your bell.

rung I got my bell rung a lot but not. like I mean the dudes you see get. concussions where they like their legs. go out yeah no I never got that yeah. where they get the fencing when they try. to stand up and they're like no I never. told anyone this that's why I had to. stop playing football I was giving out. too many concussions I was giving them. out they're like bro danger to the sport. I could I mean dude sky was a limit for. me but they're like bro you're [ __ ]. dangerous missile. there was a kid that played PB football. we call him the missile the missile he.

was the miss a nice nickname I was not. big on on kickoff team I believe so yeah. he played defense he played no he. actually played outside linebacker they. call him the missile sending in the. missile but no I um damn I was pretty. averse to tackling like people head on I. I was more of like let you pass and now. that we're talking football I got a good. story for you please an absolute Menace. entered my green room this weekend Oh. holy [ __ ] dude so one time one of my. buddies came to my show and Chicago he. was my number one all-time worst friend.

to come into a green room yaked out of. his [ __ ] dude coked out of his mind I. like I've never I've seen it twice yeah. I saw the bees man hit it once where I. was like holy [ __ ] you're on cocaine. like you can never I can never like. visibly see it where somebody's like. yeah they turn into they turn into. Beetle Juice D be be's feet he was. standing and going Jesus Christ he was. like [ __ ] this guy [ __ ] missed it. you're watching sports anytime sports. are on be like [ __ ] I had that guy yeah.

but I don't mean I don't mean to be smed. to bees but he remembers it was funny. that's so [ __ ] funny uh this dude. came in my Green Room in Chicago he gets. done I get done with the show it was. fine he comes back he's like i' give it. about a C+ I would say that wasn't your. best stuff that was like a c I was like. dude oh no I immed his C no this was. like a year ago okay and I was like dude. please please leave yeah did you know. him yeah I know him since we were kids. oh really damn and he left immediately.

and he was like yes sorry so he he knew. he was wrong this guy he got me he came. in linger. lingerer came after the first show hit. me with the same he was like you think. that was good like he was like is that. what you're going to use for like your. next special like just what he and he. just kept hitting me with [ __ ] he he was. like I remember like you sucked at. football like just like crazy [ __ ] but.

I'm just like why are you saying this. stuff I do like that though I I not I. mean that's a terrible thing to do it's. a fun thing to watch for somebody oh it. was fun just to have like someone's ego. imploding and being like I got to turn. this around and being like you know. you're not that good it was it was. insane dude and like just kept hitting. me with [ __ ] like yeah it's crazy how. much like I saw you open this one time. and the guy opened for you was like so. much better than you and it was like. that guy should be getting all these. headlining stuff you know and I was like.

yeah man like it was and and the other. people in the green like five Dan and. the and the dude opening were like. hesitant to talk [ __ ] on him cuz they. thought we were boys cuz I was being. nice I wasn't like well but he was your. same boy no different guy this is the. new number one worst friend in a green. room so he wasn't Coke energy it wasn't. Coke energy it was not cocaine en drunk. algy but this guy he's he's always been. like this how he he's a nice guy yeah. but he can't help there's something.

about him he just hits you with personal. attacks whenever he talks to you that's. crazy that doesn't sound like a nice guy. dude I don't know if he's a nice guy he. yeah but once you know him you're like. that's just who he is you might just. love him and he's a me gu he's always. GNA say something shitty to. you I was just like finally right before. I went on I was like dude oh cuz then. finally he was like dude and you went D1. like I was like see that's the weird. thing bring football all he was talking. about was high school football cuz he. played football the next year he played.

one season his senior year he was. younger than you yeah he was one year. behind me so it that cannot stand you're. Elder to him yeah but he we went my team. went five and five yeah we sucked yeah. and we were supposed to be good mhm and. that's what he he held on to that. forever he was like everybody thought. you guys were good we were good I was. like dude who cares oh man but then this. is what finally got me he was like like. yeah like I remember we had that like. the news came when I signed to go to.

Army and he was like I remember we were. watching that and I was in the back like. he's not going to make it and I was just. like dude you're a [ __ ] you've been a. [ __ ] do you know how lame you have to be. to even in high school be a huge [ __ ]. and you haven't stopped being you hav't. graduated from your hatefulness like you. were in the back in the library like. never going to make it like dude you're. a [ __ ] it was fun how'd he take it uh. he I think he got the picture I think I. I think he was like all right he's a.

teacher in a rap song being like you're. never going to make it yeah but then. true but then he was like I'm going to. stay and watch this show so he was. standing on the side and I did very well. he was in the wings dude and every. single time I did well I'd look over at. him and be. like kill and I look at him like how's. this dumbass and then we got off and he. was like that was a 10 that was the best. show I've ever I was like yeah you. little [ __ ] who you little. [ __ ]. damn I don't I don't want to be too. harsh on him but for real he I've never.

seen someone harsh to Vibes like that. why did he put bad energy on you like. that dude you can't that's what he does. dude he's literally a hater not I hate. to be one of those dudes that even says. there's haters this dude is a natural. hater yeah it's pretty great well I'm. telling you there there's there's I. think everyone has a little piece of it. where you watch someone doing something. you're like all right what about this. though you're like I'm better in this. regard let me go tell him yeah but he. wasn't he's a 55 quarter back he. couldn't throw up the line you got to. keep digging you got to keep D you got. to keep digging though I I kept hitting.

him with [ __ ] once I realized he was. being a total nasty little [ __ ] I. started being like dude but you only. played one season that's. crazy we were a pretty small school. how'd you wait till your senior year to. see the field like just that's also the. worst place to attack you in a comedy. green room and then he he dude he came. back he was like no the Dame [ __ ]. sucks like just start to finish what the. [ __ ] I was like dude why are you doing. this that's a demon yeah he was a de oh. dude he hit me with [ __ ] was like. that last the one Rogan you guys did. where you guys got hammered right away.

it was like unlistenable I couldn't. watch it but the other one you did was. pretty good like just why D why i' never. he's up and down he's negging you dude. he negs he would hit me with yeah does. he think that there's like value in. honesty do you do you think that he. thinks he's like the straight shooter in. your life or some [ __ ] like that guess. maybe he does maybe like just he's. trying to like but it was uh but then. the next night he wasn't there and I was. just in a quiet green room watching. ghosts in the darkness I can't believe I. was like kind of miss that guy I was. about to say which was better to be. honest yeah I needed that that energy.

fued that was the best show of the week. that was your M you might have. hallucinated this man that might just be. yours you're not that good at football. suck football sucks your standup sucks. really by yourself you can't even throw. over the [ __ ] line of scrimmage find. like what are you talking about you're. like w man leave me leave me you a five. five devil on your shoulder you were. Tyler dir I might have D him I kept. looking in the side of the room. everyone's like. oh [ __ ] yeah he did fuel me to have.

easily the best show of the weekend. that's pretty tight yeah I've never had. a spiteful set of Comedy like that dude. be like youu and be like watch this you. [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] bring the energy. Big Time hey how's everyone doing here. it's the weirdest it's the weirdest. thing to do comedy like like I listen to. rap yeah like I listen to like Drake and. then going on stage like I'm going to do. this or like listen to rap like in my. headphones walking to the venue yeah. it's such an opposite of like stand Up's. the opposite Drake makes sense though. cuz he's like uh the main character in.

his songs and it's like very like uh. true all right thank you you're kind of. just like the M you're just like this TR. make and it can carry you through that. pre-show kind of anxiety like I'm a. [ __ ] worm I'm you just you get to. ride right through that being like no. I'm actually that two hours in the hotel. room before just like I want to take a. nap but I don't have enough time yeah. now you got to just sitp my ass weird. just take a bad [ __ ] take like three bad. you will wipe your ass weird before. every before every show you will wipe. your ass weird and then you'll take 10.

tiny dick. pisses where nothing comes out I think I. got a piss you my entire set [ __ ] [ __ ]. yeah man what is it you wipe your ass. weird dude I think my my butthole is. offset to the left dude I've been. checking my splatter pattern and it's. just like it's on the left side it's. like how is it on one side you're. hooking I'm hooking dude I got slice you. might have one last turn in your colon. that goes shoot it shoots out the side. this might be I might be exposing myself.

here too hard but you ever hit under the. [ __ ] seat I think I had forward under. the seat dude forward under the seat. I'll take shits I'll take a vicious. splatter okay and then lift the seat up. defy gravity or like later lift the seat. up and there's [ __ ] under the lid yeah. dude I've been there I've been there. before and I don't understand it I've. never hit that means when you're. [ __ ] there [ __ ] you like air bended. it it's from dude it's [ __ ] like. horizontal rain like dude who bent the.

bullet you bent the bullet the only. thing I'll get every now and again is. when you stamp I'll stamp the toilet. bowl get [ __ ] on like the back of my ass. and I'll get up in the whole back of. [ __ ] I'm like what the [ __ ] well that's. wild wild I'll hit the top yeah the. Top's [ __ ] up how do you hit the top I. get like Gravitron dumps where they just. like it all sticks to my ass I stand up. like where'd it go just stuck to my ass. like steo in the. [ __ ] poor. body zero g the worst is yeah they got.

to run right e apples dude you must be. [ __ ] like insane dude I don't know. what happened I it happened to me uh. like literally last night I went to wife. I went to WIP last night and [ __ ] on the. top of your ass crack or like on your. tailbone just I guess I just wipe it I. don't realize I'll bring up myself a. racing strip but last night I had a. [ __ ] stow away so I went to wipe and. it was just like and I just [ __ ] like. fry chopped it turn and I was like and I. had to run cuz Britney was waiting to. take a PE so I'm like you want me to. just like get I was telling her I'm like.

I'll just get up mid dump you pe and. I'll get back to business and she was. like dude you are the weirdest [ __ ]. guy on why wrong with that I like I'll. flush you P cuz I want to just read my. book and enjoy myself I want to be under. the he does have multiple bathrooms yeah. but we're on I'm not going to make her. walk all the way downstairs we're we're. on the third floor so you pinched off. and [ __ ] went back I was already done. I was reading my book enjoying. myself the it was chivalrous I'll give. you that but also sh I've never [ __ ] for. I've never ever been like all right I'll.

I'll pinch this dump you piss I'll come. back in [ __ ] again that's what I'm. saying I I said I'll flush what I got. now you piss I'm going to hop back on. the toilet and [ __ ] read my book. about [ __ ] childhood in India there's. no way that you had any any poop the. second time around I didn't I was done. she called me out immediately she said. you're just sitting there [ __ ] around. I said Brit I'm just making sure. sometimes you get a last minute drop off. it's like sometimes you get a little. [ __ ] nugget that comes off maybe the. crowning the little crown of the turd. sometimes yeah head of the snake comes. out yes dude I stood up thinking she was.

coming back in went to wife went my. goding globed and then I had to [ __ ]. like go like this and just beine to the. shower you aob bro if she caught me with. a turkey butt dude I would have [ __ ]. been. fried had a turkey tail dude I [ __ ]. flush little tom turkey I flushed and. just booked thinking she was coming in. I'm like dude she'll never let me live. as to dude I was at a wedding a couple. weekends ago we stayed at the wedd. and uh or it was like a big house in. South Carolina everybody had their own.

rooms and uh I like slept in my room. woke up the next morning and took like a. post- wedding dump like a very beer Bud. Lighty gross dump and I looked to the. left and dude there was no toilet paper. in this room I look to the right there's. no there's no soap there's no soap in. the room there's no. soap you should have hollered for help. [Laughter]. what you do I [ __ ] I climbed into the.

[ __ ] shower like a [ __ ] like. probiscus monkey with. my ful spread the wall like as fast as I. could. like I had the hand white dude I don't. think never in my life you had to get to. the shower [ __ ] it was horrific we got. to read ads oh [ __ ] yeah and then we got. to go to the patreon true true yo check. out Gillian kees come on now it's. already out yo go check it out yes go to. Gillian kees outtv come on go get it the. [ __ ] your problem please get that [ __ ].

that's going to be fun we need it that. is going to be fun I'm I'm rip a a. sheath I'm an idiot I can't find I got. to type her name in guys let me tell you. about sheath underwear keeps your balls. off your leg the idea for sheath came. from its founder US Army soldier Robert. Patton during his second tour in Iran. yep if it worked for him it'll work or. sorry in Iraq we haven't gotry and slip. we're secret agent future script reader. if it worked for him it'll work for you. we wear sheath underwear and they are. great support the show and support this.

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personal endorsement Riff on pubes what. do you think about pubes mine are. looking wild dude really yeah I have not. been manscaping had I had some tough. ones for a while I use my manscaped uh. the lawmar 4.0 yeah it's wonderful yeah. it is it really is wonderful I use it on. Myck face nut sack my face but if I'm. feeling crazy I'll say it's finally time. to take take care of these scorched. pubes. now you get the [ __ ] waves up against. like it comes the waves out I trim those.

but I didn't do the top section so I. have like a volumous top section but now. I have a belly and sometimes I I miss. cuz my belly curves they hide and. there's yeah there's a patch here. sometimes that I can't see so every once. in a while I'll just have a nice soul. patch at the top of. my the only way I can ever see it is if. it grows too long into into my. sight escapes a coral re. [Laughter]. uh manscapes performance package 4.0.

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we're just going to man this is for men. use the kitchen's scissors or whatever. we can get our hands on I I do trim my. pubes with the [ __ ] scissors you. Barber it up I Barber up that's crazy I. Barber yeah but I use that the manscape. on my face the one for the balls I use. on my face I know about you I never. trimmed my pubes once in high school I T. I let my [ __ ] my [ __ ] was out of control. and then one night I blacked out in. college and shaved dry shaved my. I feel like I must in the group shower. who nice up.

clumps the most pubes ever oh my God it. was 18 19 years worth of pubes well yeah. you know what I mean good years six. years damn I feel like I'm years two. years guys I'm going to tell you. something about this I've been listening. to a lot of Kid Rock lately and it's. been great oh yeah whatever you listen. to actually we did we were just. listening to and it was great whatever. you listen to it will sound better with. raycon earbuds rayon's everyday earbuds. look feel and sound better than ever. they fit perfectly and don't budge.

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a boy dad's a great show thank you. you're the man thank you for having me. on on the patreon let's go ahead and. talk about the [ __ ] case race cuz I. forgot about I forgot that we were. brothers in arms and that debacle yeah. it was it debacle see you on the patreon. and we got to hear about project VAR TOS. I'm sorry I cut you off fine I don't. know. [Music].