Ep 401 - Home Of The Free
wow wow. West yes dude we're here yeah we're here. I'm sitting up straight cuz I just want. to the chiropractor really yeah all my. back problems come from the fact that I. sit like slumped and then it pinches out. my upper back really yeah I got to. [ __ ] remember theer method I slid. from the buger method you keep your I. think that's what it's called you keep. your lower back just [ __ ] like sucked. in like that and it keeps the spine. straight cuz if you hunch you end up. paying for it up here when you hunch the. lower back you pay for it in the back.
would you think would you even imagine. that no yeah exactly never even thought. that feel like a dumbass I went to the. chiropractor two years later the guy. told me the same exact thing I was like. oh yeah I forgot yeah I can't work my. [ __ ] back I'm a dumbass sure I can't. work the simple Machinery known as a. back without causing myself immense pain. in the upper thoracic area Shane what. the hell's up dude nothing hell's up man. nothing how you feeling I feel good me. tooo I feel like a young fighter do you. really yeah I feel like I'm my Prime are. you on SR.
you're an Sr uh essentially yes although. I've been popping them off dude I've. been dropping SES the copper Hermes is. how how full is a cup of Hermes right. now two days that's basically halfway. full four days you have a full cup I. have one more day until I have one more. day until my woman returns I'll probably. retain the seed for her really yes you. going to hit her with a three D I'm. going to hit her with a solid three day. you're going to give her the party. weekend oh my God you going to do all. Fourth of July weekend I'm going to give. it the Fourth of July seed you're going. to give it the five fireworks yes the.
true firework now it's time for the real. fireworks that's going to be nice a real. launch across uh my girlfriend that's. going to be nice when you finally. ejaculate it's going to feel great so. much better when you do it I've laid. with a woman yeah man when you do it. with another person it's a whole. different thing even if you're just. masturbating and she's sucking your. nipples cuz you begged CU you begged. does that happen sometimes you said can. you suck my half my sex life is me. masturbating be like can you just please. suck my nipples that's pretty [ __ ]. good though it's very nice dude yeah I. can imagine it's a serious hack cuz any.
girl can wiggle out of a [ __ ] but if. you like can you just suck my nipples. they're like okay fine yeah okay fine. damn and dude it's the real deal it's. got to be a little disappointing for her. though to be like damn my husband's like. a [ __ ]. freak but like not in a good not like he. really [ __ ] me hard or any of that it's. like no he's like a weird he squirms I. suck his nipples dude do you ever get. your nipple suck while you're jerking. off not while not while jerking off.
getting laid it is getting laid it's. getting laid for sure it is I'm not. discount I yes you are correct. sensationally that's a [ __ ] wild sex. act that's like more sinful than most. sex acts that's for real that's bad dude. stop not that's bad dude sweet release. that's bad no way dude it's a sweet. release I believe it I'm thinking about. it and I would like it you don't you. don't think I want. that you don't think I wouldn't be doing. that. stuff I like seeing them I like feeling.
her get creative on it too cuz they. switch it up on you oh you'll start. feeling her they dude it's I'm telling. you they're like a seventh grader on the. clitoris they're like what do I even do. to guys nipples they have no clue give. it a shot lady they start getting. creative I swear to God she take one of. those [ __ ] like 6 inch hairs she was. trying to pull one of those out of me. there some of those things are dude I. got four chest hairs and she's against. all of them you need to let them stand. dude my my chest a is coming in nice. really it's well I mean it's still like. a patch of pubes it looks Terri still.
but it's good do you have like a like a. focal point right here yeah right in. between I just have random nipple hairs. dude still I need permission from LS Jay. I don't think I'm going to get it so. [ __ ] it I'm just going to tell you the. story last night you want to beg for. forgiveness later yeah if he doesn't. whatever we don't have to it's nothing. bad I'm sure they've talked about it. publicly before it's I've never heard. this we were sitting up we were sitting. up on AR's deck last night and uh you. know was right after the fireworks the. firework display from AR's roof is sick.
it's as cool as it gets and I was. sitting up there while I was watching. the fireworks I was like it was actually. like a I was getting in I was deep in. thought I was like damn America fight. and then Jay who didn't climb up the. ladder started playing like me so horny. on the music and I realized I was gay. for looking at the fireworks and being. like man America you were having a peak. experience and then yeah I was having a. nice exp anyway we get down we're. sitting down we're all talking having a. good time and then we notice you can see.
the Freedom Tower we're like damn I. can't believe they tried to 911 us. [ __ ] pieces of [ __ ] and then uh I. know you're talking about by way dropped. this bomb he. said Lewis gome because we were all. talking about people's experiences that. were in the city during 911 like Justin. silver was there he was like yeah my. girlfriend showed up covered in Ash I. told her to get out of some girl he was. [ __ ] showed up to like banged on his. door that's how he found out about 9/11. and he woke up and the girl he was with. was covered in [ __ ] dust from the.
towers really yeah and he was like be. gone I don't think we were making fun of. him saying he kicked her out yeah true I. don't think he did kick her out you look. like a coal miner get out get out of. here e you're CER in. cancer um so we get to Jay just goes. yeah LS J Gomez rollerbladed out of the. city on 911. what this this brought on about two. straight hours of crying laughing dude.
Louis Jay Gomez. was and then we called him to get the. story he was at the he was at a hotel he. lived I think at the Chelsea Hotel which. was a [ __ ] dump Midtown and uh when. 911 happened he decided to rollerblade. to Rocka away New York Puerto Rican good. B it was a complete. dude it's the longest [ __ ]. Trek it's so long he he rollerbladed. across the Georgia Washington.
Bridge on 911. rollerbladed and he was fatter back then. he was a big guy back then lip ring fat. dude rollerblading out of 911 from dude. across the George Washington Bridge we. were like how long's that [ __ ] thing. I Googled it they were like at the time. it was built as the longest bridge on. Earth I mean everything is the funniest. thing he got. across and then that's nothing Rock ways. 30 miles what it's literally like. than Levity Live from here that confirms.
my theory that Louis J is a Streets of. Rage character it's dude imagine seeing. 911 and be like I got to get out of here. roller blad was you already strapped. up no that was that was the debate. because there was rumors that he was. rollerblading while 911 happened and he. was just like I'm out and turn around. turns out no he strapped up he saw he. saw the smoke and said something. something made right I got to get out of. the city.
now it's time for a [ __ ] 6-hour. Journey dude that's like 25,000 calories. it's the craziest thing I've ever heard. and then I was thinking like there had. to be fire trucks coming in on the. George Washington Bridge that one of the. last things some of those Heroes saw was. a fat Puerto Rican dude rollerblading. out of the city I mean there's got to. when they do like code red Code Orange. it must have been like that's Code. Orange that's a bad problem when the. rans put on the blades it's like.
the Puerto Ricans are [ __ ]. rollerblading and also one of the guy. one of the firefighters thoughts had one. of the last thoughts one of those guys. had to have was like [ __ ] lose like. [ __ ] yeah so that was uh that was. about two hours of laughing last night. it's very funny that was giggle time. dude how'd he get back did he put him. around his neck I don't know I don't. know he no he went to his parent or. somebody's house really I think his. house or somebody sister's house. somewhere damn his bug out bags just.
roller blades his bugout bag was. rollerblades Jesus Christ and then you. know there's no phones he had to. rollerblade for 5 hours and then show up. we were laughing so hard at that [ __ ]. first glass of water he had from the. sink just. like turn on the TV what the [ __ ]. going. on five hours later they're like yeah. another plane hit [ __ ] they fell like. he might have seen it from the bridge. which would have been [ __ ] crazy how. how nice is that if he did go to his. kin's house you're like oh my God I.
wonder if he's okay and you see him. rollerblading Over the Horizon you're. like thank God yeah you're like Dam. thank god well he he had no reason he in. like the PED so crazy he ped dude he. told him the enemy was coming Pedro. rever yeah damn that's awesome that's a. good fact to know about him yeah and. then we just told they just told stories. about him for hours and it's he's the. funniest he is the funniest dude of all. time easily dude he's the funniest dude. of all time that's a peak experience. roll blading away from 911 roller.
blading out of 911 as much as it sucked. for all those people who died and lost. loved ones getting to rollerblade away. from that was probably pretty sick for. him having like a real like I got like a. die he had a Die Hard four he [ __ ] I. don't know what he had nobody it was the. worst idea I've ever heard he was Louis. Jay Willis dude he [ __ ] he he said. the rumble strips were rattling his. bones he was on the side of the highway. the whole way that's scary R blade on. the side of the highway the whole way. scary you know how hard it is to get up. to the George Washington Bridge the. ramps I couldn't.
imagine I couldn't imagine that how. steep the [ __ ] ramps are like and. they're it's like a mile that's crazy. spiral uphill that he rollerbladed. on he he probably that's free yeah it's. free on 911 dude please yeah true they. probably raised the to they like they're. going to say guys get in or out we got. something ticket from that like check. the date and you're like [ __ ]. dude yeah hit you on. 91101 you got save that Justin said he. had footage of it he said he was filming.
from his roof and he was like I've never. watched it since I was like make sure. you save that yeah that's like important. it's Priceless he's like why is it. important everybody I was like dude just. if your grandpa had footage of [ __ ]. PE Harbor you'd be like that's cool yeah. I want to know to have yeah does he. still have it he says he does we I'm. going to check in on him today so you. better not have been [ __ ] lying to me. on the roof last night true if you lying. to me I'm going to be pissed you didn't. film [ __ ] dude you didn't film. anything that's good to know about J.
yeah you should you should do an annual. leou J rollerblade ofon no one could do. that. true last night I was like I would pay. him money I would have to find out how. much money it would cost for him to do. it again and for me to film it's. actually really dangerous what he did I. think everything was at standstill. traffic also but that's good yeah did. you ever walk across like a live Bridge. no I did New Orleans dude it's scary as. [ __ ] yeah I'm sure I got lost in in new. o Dude and [ __ ] you got lost for you. to breathe huh it was hard for me to.
breathe huh I went through where. basically juvenile around that area but. it was wiped out due to the floods oh I. told you that that fact wardy yeah W how. about that Woody comes from somebody who. lives in your ward in New Orleans yep. uhhuh what Ward did juvenile live in. he's not Magnolia projects is he what. what' you say you putting smut on he's. Magnolia bro oh okay he's Magnolia to. like until we both die so I got it. correct yeah he's magia yeah yeah I. think that's nine is that ward nine. third W third third third W I think I.
was in the ninth I was in the ninth you. in the ninth yeah so if I saw the. [ __ ] n was that the one who got. [ __ ] leveled by Katrina the ninth W. yeah that's what I I I had I had to walk. back to the ninth you had to walk. through that swamp I had to get back to. the ninth dude to my Wes what were your. Wes up to there was nothing remaining it. was it was literally like a a a camp for. migrant workers which my brother found. for us to stay at which is [ __ ] weird. and uh what were we guys doing down. there we went to New Orleans to party. right after the flood really I think it.
was like two years after yeah it still. wasn't it was still [ __ ] up they had. the x's on the houses from like how many. people were ins it was really really sad. my brother was like yo I booked us a. sick place we can like camp and then. like go right into town and have fun oh. my God camping in New Orleans sounds. like it was crazy it was a crazy now. that I think I was like 24 and it was. just they had found a lot that had. gotten flooded and these like Korean. dudes leveled it and laid gravel even. staying dude like staying in a nice. hotel in New Orleans for like 3 days. still sucks I bet like when you're. [ __ ] hammered like drinking those.
[ __ ] hurricane things dude dirty City. I mean it's a cool place but I can't. imagine getting shitfaced and then. staying in a [ __ ] tent dude it was. like 5 miles from the [ __ ] where it. we're supposed to be it wasn't the it. was too cold for a tent so we all slept. in a van together and like four Dudes. would sleep in a tent and there was. these like Michigan guys who started. like they were migrant workers from. Michigan who came down to like get in on. all the like the rebuilding action. they're also like smoking cracking stuff. but they had a nice fire going they're. probably ready to rebuild they were hit. that crack like [ __ ] pum dud dude you.
hit the crack you they they drive down. and search for work hit the crack get. out there they're doing like power lines. Katrina didn't stand a chance against. those guys n dude not at all guys on. crack from Michigan cleaning couldn't. stop them and then us down there to. party dude and you guys down there to. mess it up have fun you got you guys. thought that we're stimulating the. economy you thought Katrina was bad here. comes a real. hurricane it's the makuska brothers dude. it was we staying in a van in a van the. ninth W the only thing there it was. McDonald's and then there was a Wishy. across the street oh no God I didn't P.
you guys were hitting Vans and [ __ ]. wishy-washy and McDonald's I didn't. patronize it then heading into Bourbon. Street I wasn't I wasn't that paid to. patronize it yet dude I but I'm not. putting that on you that would have been. the one guy did it the one guy one of. the guy in our party actually smoked. crack and then went and [ __ ]. patronized The Wishy Wash hit crack with. the michiganders yeah he actually hit. crack in a bathroom and then claimed he. thought it was weed it was like right. right bro exactly where you would do. crack. New Orleans bathroom I was like they.
don't smoke crack out of like ornate. sick glass dude you smoke crack out of a. crack pipe he whatever I'm going do you. want to come to the wishiwashi or not I. was like no I'm good yeah he went he. went he smoked crack and then went dude. well the. problem to get jerked off with all the. boys he went with all the boys and we. were so close to the wishiwashi we. watched him walk over there and then we. clocked him when he came back I'm like. dude you were there for 10 minutes. what's good he was like dude she went. RSE cowgirl I came.
instant that's [ __ ] nice dude that's. really nice they were down there. fighting for their lives dude they. didn't see a single person then finally. the migrant workers showed up and the. one dude or one boy on crack yeah he. rolled up and they're like finally the. wishy-washy people imagine just getting. leveled from a hurricane you're like. where's the clientele it's just some. white guy on crack and they're like. jackpot hit him with the reverse Cal I'm. going to make this guy pop bring out the. dude she had it all saved up this guy's. about to pop he didn't stand a. chance but yeah dude hit the crack get. the reverse that's I mean that's that's. a decent night smoke the crack in the.
bathroom get the reverse. cowgirl not bad at all I tell you what. wasn't a great night for me what I did. the bartool case race oh. yeah I haven't hated myself more than. the next morning in a very very long. time what was the fuss I well I mean. obviously did exactly what we came to do. which was win yeah drank as fast as I. could as much as I could yeah and then. you know how much did you win by chaos. in I think one really got down to the.
wire and I said ran I got these last. three sit back got three done said we. won I was like we won [ __ ] you guys you. did it like that you [ __ ] chugged the. last three when they thought they had a. game yeah they thought yeah they thought. they were up by too they might have been. tied or up one nice I haven't I haven't. mustered the strength to rewatch it. because of the shame and guilt but. here's what the real funny part is what. so you know got the face paint fighting. dudes arguing yelling being a big mouth.
being a big shot was it one on like four. or did you it was me and Ron nice. yapping being arrogant not good. everything I hate I was dude I thought I. was a good time guy turns out I was well. you in a you were in a competitive. environment I it was competitive and it. felt like they were you know trying to. gang up they're gunfree dude you know. that's what happens. dude I'm telling you I've moved on since. but that took 3 days really that took. three days of deleted social media in a.
tomb bro sad My Baby's Gone my. girlfriend's out of town true just got. off the tour yeah it was a big dump you. know what I mean a big seag sad I was. sad you were Seager dude what do you. mean when here I am on the road again I. was on the road again now I'm home dude. you know the verse from that song which. part it's like I light a cigarette and. wonder I tried to start a playlist of. introspective badass songs and I got. like three I don't know any other ones. here I am I was introspective and badass.
I was literally sit like I going to. change everything about my life oh God. everyone's right I do. suck that was the problem is I like the. next morning I thought it was fun I was. like damn that was a fun [ __ ] time it. was I I love those guys I saw it it's. very aesthetically pleasing of seeing. sitting there in face paint just. blame. no can't believe this guy's trying to. [ __ ] it's also a very funny thing to. judge there's 15 people getting hammered.
and to watch that and be like that. didn't exceed my expectations it took 3. days for us finally to be like actually. it's corer to sit there and be like [ __ ]. these guys like dude we literally those. were astronauts you witness dudes. launching yeah and you judge them dude. those are the men in the arena yeah we. all agreed let's get shitfaced for 3. hours on camera yeah what else is. funnier than that turns out a lot of. people don't like it and they're mad. about it is that a whole show in of. itself or is that like a like a. specialty that's what that show is.
called Yak is that a thing he does all. the time cuz that's this is the second. time they've done the cas race yeah. that's notable was like two two and a. half hours and it was a lot more fun. this time they brought in me you're D1. athlete dude I'm a D1 athlete dude they. can't take they can't they can take you. off the grid iron you notice the bucket. hat this. is I mean they can't they can't take the. grid iron Compton was there he was a. 10year NFL vet so you know there's two. there was two D1 athletes two basically. NFL star you had two NFL Stars basically.
two I mean I yeah I did three weeks D1. you should go to your Wikipedia and just. say you played for like the Jaguars did. say you did the camp for the Jaguars. well now that's going to happen. yeah pro football player but uh could. you walk on at the in the NFL you'd have. to bag groceries first and then get in. shape from baging groceries but then I. need to pray a lot I need to pray dude. you're [ __ ] like 10 decades of the. Rosary away from walking on if if you. started bagging groceries and saying H.
Mar's dude you could definitely walk on. if they were like run one Sprint they'd. be like you're cut if they saw me try to. run you need a break yeah I would need a. couple breaks you need a pick they uh. that would suck dude so here's the. here's the part people don't know true. the next morning. obviously devastated devastatingly hung. over like it's this is after a month on. the [ __ ] road this is after Bert tour. and doing Rogan what time was the case. race so 6:00 p.m. is when we start like.
started around 6:30 what you do after it. just lingered okay lingered around the. office talking didn't keep the party. going I kept the party going a little. went out to the bar with felberg got. [ __ ] it was a nightmare dude God it. was a nightmare so you got H I was just. drink no I was drinking water at the bar. that's sick got to the bar and I was in. face paint. like can I get water uh the next morning. I had to go do a sit down interview. one-on-one with Andrew Yang oh no bro I.
didn't put the pieces together this. interview is going to be the craziest. looking [ __ ] thing on earth I'm dark. red it's in it's GNA be crazy looking. I'm dark red hung out of my mind hung. over like so sad oh face to face dude we. sat in chairs face to face in a hot room. it was hot of course it was a small hot.
room with lights face to face oh and. first thing we got to address SNL why'd. you say that about Asians bro I'm. sitting there you should have SP. watching I mean I didn't even mean it. you know you should like watched the. clip you should like watched the clip. from bar stool case race dude I was just. what was the word that what was your two. options what Josh giving Guff I was. giving. Guff yeah I was giving. Guff and you like dude I already. addressed yesterday on the case race was.
just giving Guff and then dudit. literally with I think still maybe like. eyeliner in this interview dark red my. face is dark red you should have got. heav made up I mean it was you should. have spray T dude I basically did. there's like there's like weird like it. was black around my eyes did they give. you makeup no I'm for real dark red in. this you should request just eyeliner. whenever you do press you're full like. what I don't know I mean and then we.
just talked politics and I was. like yeah Trump is bad bro I. agree it. was it was Andrew Yang by the way is the. man he rules he [ __ ] rules but with. that that interview I've been waiting. for a long time to talk to him oh and I. [ __ ] the bed dude you got [ __ ] Hammer. the day before showed up showed up and. [ __ ] face I didn't realize that was. the day before that was the day before. that booking nightmare that was a.
nightmare that was a nightmare and then. you want to talk anxiety that [ __ ]. Uber home just like what the [ __ ] am I. doing cuz I was want I mean the case. race yeah I could see that but that. colliding those two worlds is tough case. race into the national. Spotlight shifting gears all right now. it's time for me to sit down with a. former presidential candidate here we go. is he going again he's going to probably. go again I don't think he is really I. think he's working on his own political. party now the forward party good yeah.
when the hell is he launching it I don't. know tell him to hurry up and launch. that thing dude countryes in [ __ ]. shambles countryes stinks I I hate. reading that like the democracy is in a. precarious situation it's like dude I. don't know if de yeah I mean democracy. with all these people sharing their. opinions you don't like they're [ __ ]. ruining the Democracy yeah they're. ruining the Democracy it's definitely. not the lobbyists and corporations. that's not it yeah it's got to be the. people on Facebook it's got to be your. aunt on Facebook ruining democracy demra. yeah it stinks you know the Russian.
memes they're destroying democracy not. the [ __ ] interview I can I'll never. watch it I'll never watch the case race. I'll never watch that this a week that's. one week dude we all have weeks I mean. it's pretty cool pretty wild week SP. it's a pretty wild week it was totally. intentional that's the thing like I. decided to do that sober I was like this. will be crazy it's GNA be nut this will. be fun it is funny again from a meta. perspective that's the problem there's a.
huge swap of the population that cannot. adopt a meta perspective they're IL. equipped they're neurologically IL. equipped to adopt a meta perspective and. it's most of the country I hate to say. it dude [ __ ] indivi individuality is. a recent phenomenon in the grand scheme. of things yeah like people to have a. distinct identity is like maybe 2500. years old 3,000 and it's still not. everyone caught on yeah most people are. just kind of bumbling through life and. they're just like give me a football.
team give me a local union sticker to. put on my car and it's like game over. that's me that's nice I'm a steam fitter. and I like this team and it's just this. is my I've adopted my parents spiritual. and political views and it's just don't. bring anything outside of that to my. attention or I will freak the [ __ ] out. on you that's like 85% the country it is. it is that it is cuz I was I was driving. today and I saw a guy with the sticker. and it was like an Irish flag like. whatever stick it was like an Irish flag. going into like a like an asphalt like.
not an asphalt like a brick layer thing. tro such a [ __ ] Elite a little. [ __ ] shovel. thing such a [ __ ] Elite dud you are. an elite I never knew what thing's. called what's that thing called that you. just get a little bit of Spackle a TR. what's the bucket called a tro that's. where pigs eat TR the little shovel is. called a TR I call my girlfriend's butt. dude the TR that's the trough dude I. can't wait to see her. I'm going to come out of the brush like.
a [ __ ] feral hog. dude run back she's going to run she. get yeah so I've been down I've been. down on myself quite a bit this week. yeah awfully sad then last night was I. needed that one I I haven't hung out. with the bro I stopped talking to. everybody nice I haven't talked to any. of my friend I haven't talked to you I. haven't talked to you need it dude a. month of not talking to people people. you mean you need a fermentation period.
everyone needs a fermentation period the. [ __ ] lie they call depression is just. fermentation yeah it's People Brewing in. their own greatness and then they emerge. out of the other side thank you but you. know people got. tricked you know what I was I was you'd. like this I've been listening to this. book uh it's [ __ ] Carlin's book M so. he's like he wrote a book Dan Carlin. yeah here's a couple yeah this one's. about like this one's called the end is. always near or something but I've only. been listen I've I bought it this week. I've been listening to it while I sleep.
which is tough he's a tough one to. listen to does he Nar a yeah yeah he's. like and why would they do that he's. pumped it's loud so it's tough to sleep. to but he's been talking about how if. you really think about it uh nearly. every single generation in every society. has been victims of child abuse mhm so. the entire. culture was abused as children yeah so. obviously they were going to be [ __ ]. whacked out of their [ __ ] minds yeah. dude in Wild this is the first time in a.
long time the last like 70 years that. babies haven't been totally [ __ ] with. that's so funny and like. slapped yeah and like hammered they. would just pour booze and [ __ ] in the. kid's mouth yeah Mom would be drunk you. weren't allowed to speak they just put. him outside there were cultures that. would just like [ __ ] dude my uncle my. uncle used to get tied to the porch yeah. beat beating your kid not like not like. a not like a spank like for real it was. good to just beat the [ __ ] out of your. kid dude when whenever I asked my I'm.
like I was like talking about putting. Maya down my mom's like yeah whenever. like when I was younger my Kevin and. then my cousin Neil like the old like. the three oldest cousins on my mom's. side my mom's like I would lay in bed. like this and just trap them with my. legs and then until they eventually. would stop kicking and screaming and. they would fall asleep you go like this. them lay down I do that to my nephew now. and it's so fun cuz they can't do. anything they're like dude the [ __ ] up. part is you kind of have to over that's. the thing too cuz I like I don't want to. beat the [ __ ] out of my kids but you. have to like there's times and you have. to physically restrain them because.
they're just so wrong about what's going. on and they're just like you're like you. have to hold them down and they have the. gas and they eventually just. go it's [ __ ] up dude and then they. wake up like they wake up and it's it's. just Good Vibes they wake up and they're. like What's good they completely don't. remember sorry about that they're just a. little orb of energy dude they're. completely untethered like you have to. like chisel them into people it's [ __ ]. up it was talking about like some of the. ancient I mean. Spartans hilarious they this Baby's weak.
throw him off that [ __ ] cliff all the. time I mean leaving babies outside be. like leave him outside let him get tough. for the weather then just leave babies. outside in the elements obviously they. die or get picked up by a dog oh for. sure like just they were property dude. they were you had a kid and you're like. I can't wait to send this little [ __ ]. into the factory yeah it's factory like. the beginning in like the early 1900s. you're like sweet at least I can send. this dumbb ass in the factory doll a day. it was like six-year-olds like you got. to start pulling your weight and they'. be like falling like getting their arms.
ripped off in [ __ ] yeah and yeah it's. crazy yeah but it's funny too cuz even. in my family they don't let like little. boys cry there's like four-year-olds and. anytime they cry there's like nine. people be like yo don't cry don't cry. knock it off don't cry that's probably. good though dude my cousin one of my. little was like my cousin's kid he uh. he's the sweetest [ __ ] kid why you. cry I'm a sensitive I'm a sensitive typ. I'm a sensitive guy myself I'm a. sensitive type dude this little kid. that's why you have Outburst of like. dude big time yeah I still like. everyone's like don't cry now it's time.
to cry I'm a sens this little kid I was. watching him he finished some of his ice. cream went here you go Dad I'm full you. can have the rest of my ice cream and I. was like what a [ __ ] sweetheart and I. was telling his mom like he's the. sweetest kid and she was like dude we at. the beach recently and someone was he's. maybe eight years old and they're. hitting him with a very effective move. calling him by his mother mother's. maiden name rather than his actual last. name get you soit or chanting it at him. hitting and he's like that's not my last. name that's not my last name finally. [ __ ] cried and they were like dude. you can't cry about that and he's like.
Mom he hurt my heart yeah he hurt my. heart mom I was like damn dude so he did. he's exactly correct so right they hurt. his heart he was in tuned with reality. that's exactly what happened hitting you. with your mother someone hit me my. mother's made a name five times I like. dude you're hurting my heart stop what. you're doing right now I'm my dad's last. name you're making a fool of me and it. hurts so. stop stop her I'm something bad's going. to. happen you're going to like you start. being eight and being like you're not.
going to like me when I'm. angry I would just cry I would just cry. I would cry you think you were [ __ ]. you didn't think you were Wolverine or. Hulk someone would get me going I'd be. like I would like strike out and strike. out I would strike out in kickball and. get ridiculed off my front lawn and run. inside I'm like like shut up man shut up. just run inside and then dude it's funny. you just black out and you come back. like what's up bro you completely forget.
about you forget about it can I play. again yeah get in here dude you go from. like your most of your young life is. just like insane psychotic crying fits. and you just come out of them and you're. just kind of like you have to tone you. get like hammered into toning that down. and then your boss sends you an email. and you're. like 20 years later the arteries are. like 20 years later I can't let anyone. know how much this affects.
me oh man it's killing me. inside every day's a slow. grind yes A buddy of mine just went. through a. breakup hurt my heart it hurt his heart. was hurting I could tell it hurt your. heart and it hurt my heart it made me. sad cuz I was like damn there's nothing. worse a breakup bro I'm [ __ ] like a sad. breakup he said his girl was like I a. month ago I started this process I'm I'm. moving out I need to get all my stuff my. dad's coming tomorrow I was like.
bro it's the worst it's the worst going. through a breakup cuz no one else cares. everyone else is like yeah so what yeah. get another one shut up about it and. you're like you don't understand how. much I loved her and this is it's her. and then he he brought up a fact he was. like she works at a bar and I know. there's [ __ ] dudes oh yeah that have. been way he's like I've been to the bar. there's dudes that show up to try to hit. on her and he's like tonight I'm not. with her we just broke up he's going.
back those dudes are going for it and I. was like bro that's that's just a story. so sorry. dude it's not a story in his head I. believed it wait how old are they uh. she's young yeah release her to the. [ __ ] wolves dude true release her to. the Wolves I mean of course that's a. chamber Maiden dud that's the callous. way to look at it but I've been there. I've been there brother know I know and. I was like I told I gave him the advice. that I wish someone would give me when.
you're going through a breakup try your. hardest not to do anything gay because a. month you're going to regret it so much. dude don't send an email you're mentally. wearing you're wearing you're wearing a. Paris Beret dude don't write a p two. months don't [ __ ] yeah don't drink. don't drink because that's the problem. you'll get hammered you'll be like. that's the long teex start you start. pulling your heart out see that's I I I. kind of disagree you hit the shots I. could hit I could hit the bar and be. like forget about her really I could do.
that when I was going but then now. you're staring down a hangover that's. what I'm saying the next morning is when. yes you're right I've never I've never. gotten the like analgesic effects of. alcohol it just it's like a highway to. me crying hard I'm not going to forget. anything I'm going to remember. everything and be. like I mean I will say during the. drinking you can that's the thing so. like I I've been through a that the big. one when I broke up was sad I was very. sad even though I I was the one who like.
initiated it for like a year that's sad. but then finally when it came down to it. I was very sad but I could I could drink. like I drank that night and I was like. [ __ ] whatever look I don't need her. she's great I wish her the best I woke. up the next day. like oh no oh God my. baby was like I threw away a [ __ ]. marriage for standup oh [ __ ] yeah and. that was back when things weren't going.
great that's tough I was like this might. not work that's tough now look at me. dude had to be done king of the world. had to be done everyone's gunning for me. now trying to beat you drinking beers. and stuff everyone's trying to make me. chug beers all the time dude no I'm done. true no more Ching be hang the Jersey. dude hang the Jersey I mean I uh. immediately sea Patton went on bonfire. and challenged me to a [ __ ] drink off. and I was like for real I'm done he's. got to go through K now can set up like. a Mortal Kombat period somebody needs to.
get to me I am Goro somebody needs to. get up to me yeah you got to fight sub. but I need I'm going to yeah we're going. to take it easy for a little while yeah. yeah that's a tough thing which has been. tough cuz this week I like I was like. all right and I just happen to have. [ __ ] seven spots every night so. that's long dude that's usually where. you drink because two long arrive at. 7:30 leave at 1:30 and the whole time in. between you're just sitting at a bar. yeah and and you're feeling good cuz you.
just did stand up you're feeling like oh. man I'm On Top I'm the best yeah I'm so. cool or you have a bad set and you're. like [ __ ] I got to drink my I need get. out of my head I got to drink my way out. of this but this week yeah seven spots. just about every night didn't drink had. like one or two then just water not bad. which is doable I can do it so I'm happy. about that one or two beers is good for. you according to the World Health org. one two beers is good for you yeah no. doubt in my mind although they found. that a lot of the effects of having one. or two beers are just the fact that.
you're around other people and you're. not alone so it's better for You' have. one to two beers a day and be around. people than have no beers and just be. alone all the time according to the. World Health Organization being alone is. tough yeah it can get to some people. yeah it can get to people I I think I. could spend a lot of time by. myself more than the average person I. actually do yeah actually no I don't. never really I'm always around. [ __ ] if you're outside yeah I. guess so almost constantly I can I can. clock decent amount amount of days very. alone and I'll never get to do it pretty.
much ever again for very long time yeah. probably die that'll be it I'll die. towards the end you'll probably get old. you and your wife will resent each other. you see it don't talk you just by. yourself sitting in a recliner sure I. got dude I got hammered the other I was. so my new tradition now is on Sundays. put the bed I put Maya to the nap and. I'm like I'm going to go chill it's my. chill time I drink my weed juice have it. in the fridge yes I went to my office. and filled up like 5 lit bottles and I. stashed them in my fridge yes I finally.
was like went to my wife and I was like. I'm filling up wheed juice I'll be back. I kept trying to come up with a good. excuse and I was like no I'm getting. weed juice it was time to deal in. reality and you did it was I filled up. all my weed juices have in the fridge so. I chug a bunch of weed juice and I lay. down and just go into basically probably. a Theta state if I had a guess yeah I. just lay there and I don't really nap. undoubtedly a Theta State I I don't nap. I was in a couple Theta States the last. couple months dude I can't yeah I got I. don't nap but I disappear into like a of. like incoherent thought that makes sense. until I wake up actually I was.
meditating on uh I think platonism which. is like the like the ancient Greece it. was like the early uh philosophy of the. ancient Greeks which is pretty sick. there was matter and then there's the. intelligence that forms matter and I. just read that and I was like whoa I. wonder what that stuff is and I laid. down into a Theta State and I'm sitting. there just like whoa whoa all these cool. thoughts that I never remember and it. just dude I'm just having a good time. dude just thinking about goodness TR. truth and beauty and all of a sudden it. was just like you left the doggy bags in.
the laundry it was like a meteor just. coming into my Consciousness and I was. like I I came out of it I was like what. and it was like the dog bags are in. laundry they're all unraveled now just. holds them to me I go whoa dude I was. like man wait with [ __ ] him no no no. no [ __ ] dude that would be crazy that. would be fully pocketed I like dude I I. left a decent amount of stuff I left. like a full vape pen in the laundry I. there's like there's a decent nap sack. of stuff come on dude come on I [ __ ].
I'm up my ears and [ __ ] please don't. grind my gears for this please don't. [ __ ] with me on that that's what you got. to tell your later dude I stuff in the. laundry like look there's going to be. stuff in the laundry told that's what I. told her I was like look I do my best. that's going to be stuff sometimes but I. started laughing I was like dude dude. Consciousness rules so hard I was. basically playdoh for two hours just. being like wow dude the [ __ ] newest. just [ __ ] comes and forms all this. matter is so cool and I was thinking. about how it was so tight dude I can't. remember where I was thinking but it was. I was full Play-Doh just like this oh.
and all of a sudden it came screaming in. dude it's a woman's Consciousness Sophia. dude came screaming into my. Consciousness and I was just like woke. up I was like oh man yeah I'm thinking. about goodness truth and Beauty you're. all dog you're dog about. dogs I'm so sorry dude I wish I could. take you into my [ __ ] realm yeah the. babes aren't in that realm she shadows. in the cave dude they they'll never be. in there they're full shadows in the. cave I hate the fact that they can't. rise to the sublime Heights of pure. thought with me but dude I I got real I. laughed I woke up true it's true they.
can't like don't you see that's not a. real concern they're plastic [ __ ] dog. bags they can f The Vape cartridge yeah. I'll buy another one I I was like let me. see if that works didn't I'll give her. that reverse that if I'm. like I could do that I can go girlrain I. can be like nice now I have something to. [ __ ] drill her on yes uh you left the. dog bags in there it's not a big deal I. do that I do that all I'm not mad see.
how this works I don't get mad about it. it doesn't work that's just another. thing all because it's like yeah but you. don't care about that therefore you. can't bring it up because that we care. about different stuff I care about truth. goodness truth and Beauty dude dude you. want to know the opposite of goodness. truth and Beauty last night Tom tossed. on one of his [ __ ] hellish no Faces. of Death videos come on man stop that I. couldn't watch it I was sitting there of. course not dude and then I was I was. getting [ __ ] up about I was like this. is the worst things in humanity it was.
it was like Middle Eastern [ __ ]. executions yeah was terrible now here's. a question they they have Tommy up here. to field this one but what the [ __ ]. going on the point like fire that up I. don't know I've been reading a lot about. Shad I was putting on cat videos we were. having a good time good truth beauty. cops singing the National Anthem. poorly just as funny as it gets red. glare. the funnyest the bomb.
bursting where do you f that's a thing. you must find that your Theta State you. find the sickest [ __ ] to YouTube I don't. know what to YouTube couldn't be funny I. don't know what to YouTube then they the. camera is painting and showing dudes. trying like holding the flag. like there's one where this dude. obviously doesn't know the words he's. say he's like. oh closes with in the home of the.
free who's the local news is filming. just different cops dude there's a big. dude that's just staring at it like he's. so pissed and then it cuts to this young. dude who's for real dying like you can. see he's like and then you can see him. you know do that thing where you like. swallow a laugh where you're just like. okay oh chill the [ __ ] out stop laughing. and then he starts to try to sing along. with the guy and then he's like the.
bomb's bombing he realizes the guy's. singing The Wrong lyrics and just starts. dying. again that might be the funniest thing. in the world yeah I'll give it to Jay he. started during the fireworks he started. playing like Roseanne's national anthem. like the worst the worst national. anthems I was just want to it so I. wanted to get back to that where was he. getting the miso horny from That's a. classic [ __ ] there's I don't want to. put dirt on his name there's there's a. tough ladder to get up to the roof so he.
did the best thing possible which was. I'm not even going to risk trying to. climb that ladder I'm going to sit down. here and ruin it for everybody that did. climb the ladder that's a strong move it. was I had to give it up to him I was. like damn that's really funny that's as. above so there big beats I mean yeah. that was a demon reaching up be like if. I can't happen no one can he was in 0s. dude he was in 0s and he reached it. necessary it was he was right in the end. he was right he did ruin an incredible. fire Works display with songs that were. like yeah ass and titties ass and.
titties ass and titties that rules yeah. he might be the Beed crab from. Moana that's the demon that attacked you. yeah did I tell you I went on YouTube. and I saw uh hallucinogenic entities and. they broke them down by like seven. different types dude the I confronted. the jester and there was a black and. white tiled floor is the exact thing I. [ __ ] saw they did artist Renditions I. speak black and white tiled floors. yes Lis Gomez lived in a.
one-bedroom entirely tiled room with a. dog that was feral for I don't know how. long but that was part of his origin. story that was making me black and white. tile floor black just a fully tiled. Studio [ __ ] floor to ceiling. tiled hell is he h Gomez he's Hunter J. Gomez and his dog was a menace and would. try to escape if he open open the door. be. like he like hold.
on so yes it was a bit it wasis might be. the funniest dude of all time yeah. butterly was talking about how that's a. serious hood phenomenon is like having a. dog that must be put in another room if. anyone else comes over or it will bite. people yeah that's crazy crazy that's. crazy dude I'm a pretty bad dog trainer. but I definitely get my dogs not to bite. except Matilda might attack shoes. depending on what they are yeah I think. I might have done that you did dude you. imprinted on Matilda Yeah by sailing her. with your milary boots oh yeah that was. fun though that was great she had fun.
she had a blast and now she thinks it's. on every time like a work a guy comes in. like work boots she's like I have to be. like I have to like Shepherd them I did. it all the time with Matilda oh it's. hilarious it was non-stop I'd be sitting. there playing video games and I would. just Matilda spent her basically dog. Adolescence in the house on uh Mount ver. it's a good place to raise dude we were. laughing so hard I was thinking about. when finel dog just walked up and took. Chris Wood's food that was that was. juicy and that was that was blue oh blue. it was blue [ __ ] yeah blue took the.
street [ __ ] funny dude took you to. the street you still alive yeah yes blue. probably has another year or so Blue's. hanging in Blue's out one that was one. of the dumbest [ __ ] dogs I've ever. seen in my life that's crazy dude I've. never seen a dog like that dude that was. like a Guatemala cha like Street dog. that was a dingo that was a [ __ ]. dingo if you look at that's like a. native South American Street dog it's. like a dingo like [ __ ] up KY chill he. was a chill [ __ ] dog until he isn't. dude yeah the first couple days I went. to his dog bed and [ __ ] he'll like. [ __ ] freak on people sometimes and Go.
full Mexico. City but watching him just absolutely. bully a human dude I've never seen it. dude the dog walked up slowly yeah. slowly took it out of his [ __ ] and. this is back we didn't have no one had. money that was Wood's meal that was all. he ate all day that was big his meals. were crazy his meals were crazy but I in. his he did hook it up for me he did. there'd be times where I have no meals. and he'd say hey I got a B of [ __ ]. like beans and tuna it was Hummus. tortillas it was Hummus yeah it was like.
hummus five pasas and then like a ton of. chicken yeah it was good it was actually. good your gr your gr was [ __ ] nice I. miss the gr's good I need that. gr fire it up in o yeah fire up some gr. you think you can make GR in Australia. I'll get a stinger bro yes I'll make us. chis dude dude I was listening speaking. of Australia I've been listening to. [ __ ] plane crashes what. speaking of you listen to the Black Box. I started listening to Black boxes dude.
what the [ __ ] well it was just one night. it's not like I'm doing this regularly. and then I W there's a website where you. can see everybody's last the last. sentence of every black box in a plane. crash what do they give something nice. some of them are funny some of them are. like. mountains which is very funny does. anyone play miso horny some of them are. very sad it's like Amy I love you and. it's like not bad [ __ ] he knew yeah he. knew he was going to be able to say it I. mean the one was like Mom I love you.
nice yeah but that I was talking to. Chris about it I was like I don't want. those Pilots I want the guy who's still. cuz there's some Pilots that are still. trying [ __ ] the whole way down calmly. that are like okay we're going to go. ahead and switch this all right that's. not working uh go ahead and try this. looks like we're going to be coming in. pretty hot just [ __ ] yeah yeah that's. that Air Force training bro I like that. I don't like I don't want a pilot that's. like oh God like there's several of.
those yeah getting emotional yeah I'm. out I want a guy who's trying till the. very end true Pilots like this is. obviously the way I was going to go yeah. sorry sorry to the 300 people behind me. I knew I was going this way yeah that's. just part of their [ __ ] that's like. the uh Whatchamacallit that's the suty. tradition they're the Egyptian king and. that's all their subjects true true. you're in my tomb they dug up those. tombs there would be like up to like 300. people buried with some of the Egyptian. pharaohs that's how I want to go pretty.
wild yeah just getting buried alive just. being I want to die and then make sure. everybody that was around me does get. buried alive it should be legal again. maybe by they might they might legalize. suti yeah we could cuz dude get a. religious exemption I read a thing there. I read getting religious exemption out. of suti yeah I read a thing uh. apparently I don't know if this was like. a skewed data point but they said that. 25% of the deaths in like Finland or. some Scandinavian country were youth in.
Asia they again a lot of the Bros are. being like put me down that makes sense. like medical death it's a lot dude it is. but if you think about that's how many. people make it to [ __ ] full Gees yeah. and like riddled with [ __ ] disease. and dementia yeah 25% just knock them. out it's a sick MPR fan I feel like a. lot of NPR break. out I might be able to break out burden. my family much you want to I think I. could break out just like one day just. be.
like this is where I am what are you. watching golf put on golf put gol. on has anyone ever busted out of it I. think I can get have busted out I think. I I might go the opposite route I might. actually start remembering stuff when I. get older the [ __ ] there's my keys might. finally find my keys when I'm like 80. yeah be like what the hell dude there's. my. [Laughter]. car yeah dude that uh that stinks I was. talking a little uh Whatchamacallit. forgot the word for it.
Alzheimer's talking Alzheimer's it. stinks dude yeah apparently they all. think or a lot of them think that the. people taking care of them are stealing. from them I thought that was just my. mom's aunt that's a lot of them no I'm. sure you if you're confused all the time. you're very paranoid about people. strangers walking in and [ __ ] coming. around that's true like holy [ __ ]. there's a new guy he's in my house get. out of here. Thief that's they trying to watch The. Goth. I'm watching goth that's got to suck too.
cuz my mom's Aunt Ernie El's is on get. out of here th i'' be sick if they only. remember PGA Legends probably that. bether tethering the reality there he is. I don't like that Tiger Woods. character why grandma that's the only. thing you can muster is like talking. about Tiger Woods like why is everyone. being weird about my takes on Tiger. Woods yeah sorry I don't like where am I. right now and why is there a black. golfer what the [ __ ] is going on what. the [ __ ] that'd be nice to not remember. you're completely like citizen zero you.
can't remember any you're what's the. what was the soldier in the one movie. Matthew Damon Jason Bourne Jason Bourne. your born identity every morning dude. you wake up you craft your pants somehow. I know how to do you craft your pants. somehow I do know how to do racism still. yeah that's the only thing you know in. the restaurant just like there's five. Puerto Ricans over by the. back there's a Jamaican lady who says my. she's my Living Nurse I don't believe. her there's a mixed fella in the booth. over. I got to get out of here that's probably. why they end up on the side of the.
highway I can roller blades 17 miles out. of the city right now that's why they. end up they end up walking on the. [ __ ] like a two-lane Highway with all. their stuff from the diner they just see. all the minorities and they're just like. too many minorities there's no. minorities on here yeah but then they. get to the side of the highway and guess. what that's minority City true. true yeah I've noticed that's the uh. it's where they like to hang out a lot. of barbecues around like the side of. like the whis hick and like a lot of. Puerto Rican families really they just. setting. uping the road we not it's not the side.
of the road it's the side of like the. Wiis a hickin on like the river oh okay. you'll go down there with your dog and. it'll just be like a full like party. you're like Whoa man that's pretty. awesome that was a long Trek to get down. there yeah those guys don't mind trkking. no man especially for a good time that's. a great time especially some sures by. the Rio yeah man it's time it's good. time speaking of. time woo nice hot diggity dog there's. one plane crash in San Diego where the.
this this Boeing was flying in these two. dinguses in a [ __ ] Cessna were. practicing landing and like you can you. can read the transcript air traffic. controls like uh just so you know. there's a Cessna around you guys about. within five miles and the pilots are. laughing they you they're like oh these. [ __ ] idiots what the hell where are. these guys then they find them they're. like all right there they are they're. about a mile off to the right and then a. couple minutes later air traffic control. is like do you guys still see them the. Cessna and they were like no they must.
have gone right we don't see them. anymore turns out the Cessna was. directly below them at this point so the. boing goes to land starts starts going. down hits the [ __ ] Cessna oh my this. is in San Diego in 1973 I think bro the. Boeing obviously crashes what the whole. plane goes down the sess those boys are. kaput but the [ __ ] thing lands in a. neighborhood kills like eight more. people in the neighborhood 170 people on.
board are dead obviously what yeah real. bummer but it's also reassuring that. plane crashes happen in America like. once every [ __ ] takes it's it's very. rare is it I never know extremely rare. I'm always wondering like dude I feel. like I heard I'm always like thinking. like I swear I just heard about a plane. crash it's no it's very rare yeah I. guess you're right but also you got to. remind yourself cuz I lot and I'm always. I'm thinking about it yeah yeah um even.
if you were like all right let's say. there was a major air accident today. yeah the day I'm flying if it came from. this airport statistically I'd still be. extremely unlikely there's so many. flights that's true the odds of it being. on my plane are out of you know true but. if it was how bad would you be like. ain't that about a [ __ ] I'd say isn't. it ironic ain't that about a [ __ ] a. little too. ironic what did I do yeah that would. stand. yeah especially on the way to Australia. if it just nose Dives over the ocean out.
of nowhere yeah never to be found but. we're asleep in our nice little pods. that would be nice dude shitfaced in a. pod there's worse ways to go that's a. good way to go there's worst way be like. I'm with my friend we're going to have a. [ __ ] theater tour in Australia this. is [ __ ] awesome Leonard Skinner. status dude that would be skinnard. people would go back and play this. podcast and be like damn this is Sweet. Home Alabama this shit's incredible oh. for sure they did. it everybody turn it up everyone would. forgive us dude pretty much did it I. told you my dream was to become a host.
at Helium did it done done mine my win. Philly Fest done now now we're in bonus. level as you that's it what were you say. me Sonic bonus level yeah it's. collecting coins it's it this is it all. there. is then dude all it really is is getting. a hand job getting hand or giving. yourself a hand job jerking off AKA. jerking off yeah get your nipple sucked. do we dude if you don't think for a. second that I'm going to give that a. shot you have to after the woo pig suie.
when I chase her into the. room have that as a snack go Feast Feast. when she gets back like Gorge myself. night maybe she has a cold maybe she has. a cold or something be like Perfect Dude. jackpot you're a little sleepy get a. little snot in there oh oh sweet what a. sweet treat for my nipples oh my God. babe could you suck at me can you suck. my nipples suckle I used to be ashame to.
ask now there's just no shame whatsoever. it's just like yo do you do it like do. you demand it are you like suck my. nipples come here if she if she said. like I don't have it in me to suck your. nipples I might hit her with the old. like all right well there's going to be. in the laundry tomorrow I'll tell you. that you what there there's going to be. some [ __ ] in the laundry I need this to. clear my mind I'm going to go walk the. dogs do you know where the bags are yeah. I would I would definitely threaten her. if she refuses to suck suck you have to. th oh [ __ ] we got dumb ad ah it's just. uh sheath right perhaps it's just sheath.
I believe 9,000 [ __ ] emails let me. tell you about she. underwear nice PGA Tour show is looking. for Comedians and they want me nice dude. look at that it's time for me to talk. golf That's crazy dude are you going to. sit there and be like a. commentator oh here we go I'll fire it. up Matt patreon hit we're rich oh really. sick. we did it sick we did it baby we got. money break out the red panties we did.
it baby we're [ __ ] another month dude. a month to month till I get sucked up. into the [ __ ] guys evil Enterprise. that God Bless America and God bless. sheath underwear sheath underwear keeps. your balls off your legs I'm wearing. them right now for real look at that. that's funny I attribute that to my. incredibly small penis yeah I always. thought it was because of my small penis. that my dick and nuts never even touched. my fat thighs that are nearly. touching uh this. for sheath came from its founder US Army. soldier dude for me disrespecting a.
future US Army soldier US Army soldier. Robert Patton during his second tour in. Iraq dude second yeah second it worked. for him it'll work for you support the. show and support this awesome. veteran-owned company go to sheath. underwear. use promo code drench to get. 20% off your first order every order. comes with she's 100% money back. guarantee so you can just crap in these. things and be like I want my [ __ ]. money back for sure mail them back to. him you could for sure do that every. order with sheath uh that's sheath.
underwear. comom promo code drenched get. sheath underwear and let them support. your balls dude you know what I was. think sheath those things [ __ ] wrong. they are nice you know what I was. thinking about today or actually the. other day that we're essentially just. carrying we're a biological organism. carrying our father's penis into the. future then our children carry our penis. in we're just a penis being carried in. the future what a burden on my young son. it's crazy dude my boy is going to [ __ ]. he's going to but he's got to carry it. he's going to have to strike me down. he's got to carry he's going say you. burden.
me what is this I'll I'll be like Robert. the Bruce's dad and Braveheart I'll be. like covered and blow you must carry it. into betray him you must carry it into. the future you must have sex big budded. Irish waitress carry our penis into the. future [ __ ] right dude see if you can. find a fat ass pale chick oh yeah big. fat pale butt at a bar that's the torch. that's a torch Bearer of a small Irish. penis suit a small Irish penis just a. drunk small.
penis fat buted. [ __ ] finally our Legacy continues we. continue to strive forward as a burden. on. civilization oh man we're not. contributing we're taking hard worker. dude that's the [ __ ] troll you do. need the guy that's that's the TR dude. just an alcoholic working for sure yeah. for sure you do need to work it bees I. saw that sticker and I said you know. what that's kind of nice just to be like. I [ __ ] lay bricks this is the way I.
feel about it everything it's all it is. fully automatic I was like I looked at. it I'm like still is cuz I was like I. wonder how the guy feels about Trump and. I was like no I know exactly I could. tell you exactly not to be a dick I'm. like I just know it's look I don't like. him but he tells the truth. fly yeah. automatic oh my God you can't even talk. about it anymore you can't even you. can't even [ __ ] joke around yeah man. it's pretty nuts think about that. that's that's apparently the thing of uh. one of the things in yian therapy we're.
just archetypes we're just fully just. pre-loaded things that emerge into like. a pattern that already existed that. takes on a different flavor due to like. the cultural culture around it and then. like certain people come up through that. and like and self-create into a new. thing pretty neat pretty neat you want. to go to the patreon and have a good. time yes yes have a very good time you. want to get crazy on there very crazy. it's time to get crazy bye you thank you. for listening. [Music].
