Ep 374 - Willard Smith
wow wow. Wes that Gypsy scale is too much bro I. can't believe this is still gone that. Gypsy scale I really can't believe it. this a lifelong dedication dude no I'm. as much as a flutist as I am a comedian. you're a flst probably possibly more of. a flautist you are a bit of a you're FL. dude you're [ __ ] up I'm getting a. keyboard that would be nice yeah I'm. getting a keyboard I'm going I'd like. you to start playing piano that would be.
sick I love piano bro that's a cool. that's a cool thing to I come from a. family of penis dude really my great my. dad's grandfather played piano in the. bars what that's how he etched out yeah. that's how he made a couple bucks that's. awesome great grandpa would play in the. [ __ ] Saloon and if dude my my one. cousin I've like it runs the saloons of. Philly in the saloons of Southwest. Philadelphia. dude in like the 60s people like man. turn that [ __ ] the [ __ ]. off yeah my yeah my dad for a few years.
lived in southwest Philadelphia he was a. fresh prince was he he was he a fresh. penis Dude down there getting his ass. beat I it runs in my family I have. cousins who are just like Savant on. piano it's pretty nuts you have several. autistic people in your family the whole. I think our whole family's autistic our. one cousin nailed it she's like our. whole family's our whole family's In Too. Deep we're all so autistic we don't know. it yeah but we're in too deep dude yes. it runs in the fam well you guys have. all bullied each other into.
some type of weird like nah this is I'm. this I'm this and then you guys have all. bullied each other like bills out of his. mind dude yeah and he might be the most. Saint I can't tell if he's the craziest. or the most Saint isn't that isn't that. wild yeah I can't tell I actually I. genuinely can't tell if Billy's. absolutely the craziest or the most. Sint who can tell yeah I don't think he. knows well it's yeah it's like the one. thing like if two balls are moving who. knows which ball.
a space between increasing the first. like early when I met Billy I'd be like. why are you doing all this cuz he's like. I wake up at this time I'm jacked I work. hard I do I was like why why are you. doing he's like I'm bulletproof dude you. can't make fun of me I was like damn. damn it's it's funny yeah dude I mean. it's yeah it's definitely uh my family. is deep roots of autism dude yeah just. like feudal autism just like yes my Lord. I think that's why we Vibe dude family.
is deeply into the syndrome dud we're. all. yeah true I get home everyone's like. what we're just two we're just two. powerful Clans. dude two powerful good clans the ones. with a c not the bad K Clans dude let's. not get that Twisted we do not support. the K clock Clan at all no do you see Da. Vinci Code hold on I want to tell you. this as many as many autists of you guys. have we have several offensive lineman. in my family my whole family's offensive. line dude that's that's hard syndrome.
but everyone else is offensive line. adjacent though that's the other thing. offensive line is a Continuum yeah so. there's a lot of people who are like. just on the verge of offensive linemans. ship yes so yeah it's pretty sick that's. definitely the most autistic position in. football no it's the most syndrome oh. yeah true true that makes sense that. makes sense what would you say the most. autist position in football is. fullback not QB dude most autistic. position is there is there such a.
thing. kicker possibly kicker no I don't know. now that you're mentioning it offensive. line also definitely has a lot of that. too I remember just like I'm here to. block for the guys running the ball I. I'm selfless but that's also syndrome. true well football is just for the. fellas true it's just for the boy. doesn't even matter that was the dude. when the the coach would tell me that in. peee football being like you guys are. the unsung hero dude.
I [ __ ] loved that I like I genuinely. prided myself on that for like years. after take it back the syndrome has a. lot of Glory HS they love like I want to. score the. touchdown you watch those [ __ ] Glory. hounds. when all tsts are role players dude. allst are role players true the syndrome. are Glory hounds there's always those. videos of dudes with the syndrome coming. in and just drilling threes in. basketball games.
you are right about that they are. absolute Glory hounds yeah but yeah dude. what about the D Vinci Code it reminded. me I was I was watching uh I was. watching it last night and that was like. the very beginning of it he's like shows. kclu clan people and he's like what do. you think of this Rob and everyone's. like racist he's like actually these are. what the priests in Spain wear bam next. slide I was like [ __ ] Hanks he was. saying some priests used to wear it like. that was a holy gown yeah they still. wear it do they really I was just. watching uh Anthony Bourdain and Spain.
episode they do this like Festival where. literally everybody walks down the. streets in Clans robes what are they. pumped on some statue of like a saint. and then they go cut Bull's heads off. it's a good day yeah he bust out the. swastika in the beginning he's like. actually this is a chill ass symbol too. he's like you guys don't know [ __ ] I I I. can't believe people are still flexing. on that like did you know that this. wasn't just Nazi stuff dude so I I. watched the Vinci yeah everyone knows. that the Vinci Code is just it is Stoner.
knowledge the whole movie dude anything. that popped up I be well yeah and. Britney's like how do you know this. stuff I was like got into the constant. state like ear high in fifth grade. Yeah well yeah I I sniffed chalkboard. cleaner when I was 10 with my boy did do. you ever. Huff no I don't think I did I huffed. only twice I didn't Huff I wasn't got. high I would try to smell things I was. always a bit timid yeah I don't think I. was always like I want to be cool and do. drugs but I was always very afraid of. them I read about huffing in a library.
book and then tried it until now now I. [ __ ] love drugs I was the opposite. bro my my Rockstar lifestyle ended at. like fifth grade yeah with like. chalkboard cleaner I didn't get I don't. think it even get high I just got like. nervous and dizzy and sick and I was. like that book might be on to something. about why these things are bad I was. worried about the huffer's rash that's. the thing you want to avoid they. certainly are because you they would. spray in a paper bag and then you Huff. out of a bag that's how you knew a huff. head dude you see the rash see that. rashing of that guys that's bad news. that gu Huff's household cleaning. product.
sucks nobody Huffs anymore that was an. epidemic back in the day yeah just. people dude sniffing gasoline sniffing. tanks we got Yo on the way home we're. going to hit a truck stop I'm GNA. introduce you guys to sniffing some. tanks go right to the trucker thing. uncrack it fing Brea gas get the hell. out of here you damn. kids um but it was tight I got to flex. on Britney with like Christian like. Roman knowledge like well yeah dude. [ __ ] Council of see it dude it was.
blowing her how do you know this stuff D. Vinci codes got you for sure we're. almost done we're not we're halfway. through oh really you guys PA is a movie. yeah dude it's three- hour movie bedtime. bedtime 9 yeah D Vinci code's three. [ __ ] hours Dam bedtime 900 P p.m. strict you guys have strict lights out. she does she does I lay in bed and read. listen to audiobooks. usually a under the covers audio no. under no under the covers dude no under. the cover dude I had you don't want to. head down there dude I had dude.
crippling yeah did you ever have. constipated. diarrhea yeah dud dude I never had I've. had at all bro dude I I couldn't it was. the most insane thing I was hiding them. and I was actually concealing them. perfectly under the covers and she would. move and [ __ ] the air would escape. and it dude I was I my farts per I was. probably doing nine farts per. hour like for 72 hours I was like. genuinely afraid she caught me in the. middle of me like switching my diet of. being like I got to I'm just eating.
[ __ ] chicken and bro she's like dude. you're constipated relax your whole. family does this you guys go on some. weird thing just wait your butt will be. fine just go get some Fiber Gummies. should Munch them you'll like that I've. had those they're good they're so nice. dude you just dump piles you just drop. horse piles for like a week I was off. the oatmeal I was on the oatmeal and. everything was going well that's pile. City yeah I was on the oatmeal every day. and then I started. eating have a couple things in my head. that I ate that I'm kind of figured out. I was on oatmeal for a while were you. yeah dude pile City the piles come out.
back in my poor days it'd be beans and. oatmeal that was all the cheapest [ __ ] I. could. find yeah dude I was I spiles the whole. night just waking up and just like. farting loudly on the toilet and coming. back shamefully to bed she's like did. you go to the bathroom I'd be like no no. she like I thought I heard you like that. was just farts oh I do that that's what. you mean I do that constantly you really. yeah I'll be like oh [ __ ] my stomach. feels terrible I got it feels like a. dump and then you go sit there and fart. and just look at your phone but a little. comes out yeah I got a very little bit.
like a snake one yeah exactly and I and. but like I I was feeling the waves of. diarrhea the sweet release dude is upon. me and it would just be like and like a. little snake back to bed with the same. old you got a wipe with a definite dump. in there oh dude it was [ __ ] horrible. I had like Jackson ass like it was like. I had dog. ass dude all weekend and then it gets to. the point where you're farting so much. that they start bringing up Med medical. [ __ ] and you're like all right enough I. don't have [ __ ] up butt stuff dude let.
it go yeah that was my whole weekend. just watching at AV Vinci Code a little. bit at the time like trapping [ __ ]. farts under blankets for my dear life. yeah I wonder what he munched that did. that I ate a whole bag of Yuka fries the. the so right now it's the I was. averaging like a carton of hummus a day. and I add like really spicy ghost pepper. jerk seasoning to the hummus or like. Curry some some kind of thing and then. it B do I think dude I don't ghost. pepper humus daily yeah yeah you must. have been on hell in those blankets it.
was wicked dude yeah but I think it all. culminated the bag of Yuka fries was a. pig out I think the Yuka fries got stck. I don't even know what those are what. are they Yuka is like kind of like a. it's all [ __ ] it's a root it's just eat. Doritos knock it off eat crap dude y. [ __ ] rules enough this mumbo. jumbo I don't know what it was dude I've. been trying to I've been doing The Da. Vinci Code on everything I ate just like. I think it was the Yuka fries yes what. do you think of all these paintings now. that you're big into the D Vinci C code. right now hold on I'm I'm trying to get.
my the best one she's like do you have a. thetic memory he was like not really but. I do remember stuff really. well I mean dude I just want to see. Theona Lisa dude swap them and she's. right next to him whoa you see that yeah. the [ __ ] there's the wedge feminine. that's the [ __ ] that's the thing dude. the feminine the V that's the Holy Grail. dude the vagina yes it's women that's. how much I love [ __ ] it's a holy grow. it's the most important the world daugh. [ __ ].
yeah that's right Jesus had a kid isn't. that the point of movie and that was the. Holy Grail was the child yep proof. relinquish the church's power Da Vinci. knew Da Vinci obviously [ __ ] knew. dude he was around back then he he knew. all about this he was part of the uh. Knights Templar cion dude they yeah. they're called like the some [ __ ]. but either way yeah so I'm watching D. Vin I remember you remember Da Vinci. Code I remember people protested that. yeah Catholic school was pissed about. the D Vinci Code they mad about Harry. Potter and the D Vinci Code what's up. with Harry Potter I don't know they're. witchcraft Dumbledore's gay they don't.
like witchcraft yeah remember my school. was like you better not go see Harry. Potter we like okay yeah you know what I. think my school was kind of like weird. about that that was cancel culture true. that was back in the day that was back. when Catholics held the power for cancel. culture we got to get it back I don't. think we're going to get it they got a. slight win in Texas exactly if cancel an. abortion serious yeah if we can stop. women from aborting babies we can grab. the you know we can grab the culture. yeah and just control it again dude no. more [ __ ] making out dude oh my God.
more rock and roll dude remember I don't. did your mom get the thing I used to. talk about it my mom would get the. newsletter the Catholic standard in. times oh no no no we would just no we'. get just that [ __ ] piece of paper. they give you at the end of church oh my. mom would get like all their sponsors oh. yeah yeah it's like an HVAC a gas. station yeah my mom would used to get. the [ __ ] newsletter so any movie that. came out my mom would get like the. Catholic yes or no on it and it would be. like teenagers holding hands like. warning dude if they did if they raided. like um all you can watch is vegg tal.
you can only watch Veggie Tales oh. Veggie Tales the only watch Rules did. you toss that on for your child yet only. when I'm in a hotel because it like when. you're in a hotel you have to watch. whatever's on Veggie Tales came on we. watch it that's nice she's a little. young to take in the tail but I'm like. this is [ __ ] yeah you're going to. want to take this tail in you take that. veggie tail take this veggie. tail but yeah man the uh yeah if my mom. if that if Euphoria had been filtered. through the Catholic like leaflet on. like what's okay to watch it would have.
it would have like incinerated it yeah I. mean I had a tough time I had a tough. time Euphoria Euphoria Gardini said he's. been watching sex with college The. Secret Life of [ __ ] yeah oh nice me in. that me I heard the Mex it's evil dude. why is it evil it's just so much so many. bad messages for kids what kids should. have a lot of sex yeah it's like and you. don't want the girls having sex you want. the girls to wait for you yes that's how. I feel I don't like girls being [ __ ] I.
want them to wait for me to come around. yeah I I don't think it's I I think it's. one of those things where it's like. there's a there's a definitely a handful. of women who can like go out and just. have sex with hundreds of people and. like start like painting in a warehouse. and everything's fine but for the. majority of women I think it kind of. [ __ ] them up yeah probably they have. too many boyfriends yeah I read a quote. one time I think I showed Britney the. quote to get see if it was true or not. but she was like the quote was basically. every time a woman has sex with a man. like she kind of splits in half and the.
more times it happens it kind of. fragments her personality. hne kind of yeah she's like yeah it's. kind of true a lot of shattered women. yeah from too much penises too many. penises too many boyfriends dude yeah. too many boyfriends you can't have too. many boyfriends doing this why it's it. it's different it just it's a whole. different experience too many boyfriends. yeah dude yeah it must be hard for women. cuz you have to adopt their personality. exactly you got to start dressing and. acting like them every time it gets. confusing if you have too many. boyfriends you're like I don't know what. the H what the hell to do do I like.
football do I not I can't tell I've had. too many penises inside of me yeah I. don't know what I like and don't like do. I like this. movie yes they just take a democratic. vote of all the people they've ever had. turns into democracy then it's the. Senate yes once a girl sex with like. seven people then until they meet their. Caesar true and then he's like no more. Senate dude no more would you listen to. me and then eventually they stab you in. the back and you die pretty much much. dude which this is here we go come on.
this this is the this is the this is the. uh topic dour right now I listened to. almost the entire Will Smith biography. this weekend yeah so while I was farting. the whole time I was farting under my. blankets I I was just listening to Will. Smith's life dude it's [ __ ] wild why. it's it's like. a he's having a weird [ __ ] time dude. he needs to knock it off you got to. listen to this whole thing isn't he a.
Scientologist now too or he's like. adjacent at least what adjacent like. adjacent to Scientology uh well he's. right now he's questing you got to. listen to his whole biography but it's. like okay well I'm not you should. promise I'm telling you you should you. should listen to it dude I'm on. revolutions right now dude I'm falling. asleep listening to the [ __ ] Boston. te party dude I'm telling you he will. Smith it's when you read it it's like. cuz you know he's just like a dude in a. million movies who did a bunch of stuff. and then you heard like his wife cheated. on him and everyone just went like H.
that was my reaction being like what and. it's being like it's just it's for some. reason it's funny too to watch a mega. celebrity slide into almost being like. ironic he became a joke kind of you know. not not to slam Big Willie because now I. feel connected after his autobiography. but like he went from like the best like. crushing he like talks about it. Blockbuster record-breaking [ __ ] where. like he could not miss and it caused. problems in his family you know where he. started to miss wi wild wild no dude.
even after that he still [ __ ] start. still kept killing it um I Am Legend. dude no of course of course he's every. he still is everything he does is good. except like Gemini man stunk After Earth. dude after so. dude what happened was he was but he. just did King Richard and it's a [ __ ]. it's phenomenal oh for sure for sure. again Will Smith is fine Will Smith's a. great actor fantastic he's a fantastic. actor it's when you listen to the book. he he bear he just lets it all out dude.
and it's like it it's like you didn't. know any of the stuff about him like. dude like the whole thing like oh what. Fresh Prince I I was running with some. bad guys he was getting the [ __ ] kicked. out of him dude he was walking around. Philly in cowboy boots they weren't just. putting him on his shoulders and. spinning him around that's a security. guy by the way oh really that's Charlie. Mack the guy who spins him is a security. guy nice but dude he was apparently like. he was saying he was like his dad would. like beat the [ __ ] out of his mom he was. a compulsive liar too a point there's a.
point later in the book where he he like. says a memory then he's like so he. builds this whole thing up and he's like. yeah and I told my mom that story it's. like that never happened he's like 40. years old but he would walk around in. cowboy boots and people just like just. trash him constantly the first day he. went to overbook someone hit him in the. head with a combination lock they like. beat the [ __ ] out of him dude and then. he got like tied in with like when his. music blew up he lost he was like broke. when he was doing the fresh prints. really he was hanging out with like what. is it Junior Black Mafia dudes really. yeah dude he like it's dude it's insane.
he was like he had a mansion He got. cockled it early on in life as well by. his like original girlfriend and that. like like he raised a child cockled it. or just got cheated on no cheated on. yeah oh wait oh no no no Jesus Christ. just cheated on okay but I think he I. think he uses the term cuckolded or. something yeah he uses. cuckolded weird he was crushing it dude. he was like mus wait every time you get. cheated on you're being cucked I mean. that's like cucked light yeah that's how. you end up a cuck hole like like a. biological cuckold but when you get.
cheated on you've been cuckolded he was. like in my young cuckolded mind he said. some kind of phrasing like that yeah. yeah dude and he was Crush he was like. traveling touring all this stuff and all. the dudes were getting [ __ ] and he was. like no [ __ ] I love he's a lover boy. he's like I love my wife I just want the. perfect life then he came back and she. just like he was like a global sensation. she [ __ ] a dude and like she like sold. clothes in the store [ __ ] some. light-skinned [ __ ] dude of. course greeneyed lightskinned. [ __ ] dude I was I heard that. like it's always a lightskinn that's.
what he said basically always [ __ ] on. CH that's what he said some lighted. [ __ ] greeneyed light-skinned. [ __ ] dude [ __ ] yeah dude it's. the the book it is it's interesting to. listen to and it's co-written with Mark. Manson who's a subtle art of not giving. a expl really so there's all these. little things in it's it's. like you know it's read by Will Smith. there's a lot of like kind of like. cheesy [ __ ] kind of but if you can just. listen to it it's very interesting I. couldn't put it down dude I couldn't. take my earbuds out nice he also admits.
to throwing up whenever he sees or heard. smells [ __ ] well no it was because he. got cucked yeah and he tried to start. getting he's like I'm gonna be a [ __ ]. machine and he would like he needs the. love connection dude so he would be. coming and just be like and just get up. and gag and like run. away dude there was one part in it that. was possibly the most disturbing part. cuz like he has a lot of insight into. his younger childhood you can tell he's. working with therapists and he's like. like well this was because of this and.
you're listening to it that's kind of. insightful and then he as like the years. go by it's like newer stuff that hasn't. been processed fully so he he like he's. talking he's like talking about him and. Jada's relationship and at one point. there's a story he tells that he's like. yeah man I did a he's like I'm a. prankster so I did this prank on Jada. and it's like she doesn't think it was. funny I think it's a funniest thing ever. but like I'll leave it to you guys to. decide once and for all and he's like. you know he's like ladies and gentlemen. of the jurry here's what happened and he. was like so I brought me and Jada had.
been together. for I guess it was like a couple months. it was still fresh and he was. true so she was going to meet his. grandmother and so he flew his. grandmother out to California La where. he was living and he has this thing. where he like knows how long it takes. for anyone to get to play he like times. people in his head so he's like it'll. take her 47 minutes to get where she's. from her house to my house this and he's. like I'm going to put on a movie for my. grandma mother a movie that she had like.
a like a very notorious sex scene in. with another. guy where Jada did Jada did this movie. apparently that was like a award-winning. like groundbreaking sex scene it was. groundbreaking in Black Cinema so it was. well known for all the actors and stuff. so he timed it to where he put the movie. on with his grandmother knowing that. Jada would walk in the door right as. that sex scene came on and he was like. it's a prank so she walks into her. getting just like dog bald on camera and.
it was like a long movie you know movie. sex is just like a guy like thrust and. comes immediately this was like a. [ __ ] like ridicul what was that funny. movie where they had like they made fun. of it they did like a sex Montage mcber. mcgruber it was like it was. like real life from way he described it. it was like real life mcgruber you can't. watch mcgruber with your lady they don't. like it huh I every time I've ever done. that I end up we've had sex and I do. that oh I can't not do it I can't watch. mcgruber and then have sex cuz I'm going.
to go I'm about to fill you up oh. yeah dude so he puts it on she walks in. and just goes like what the [ __ ] and. then like they sit there the whole thing. but the Grandmom's kind of going like. this and this is the weirdest part where. he was like babe he's like and he's this. is him describing he's like babe it's. perfect for us this is perfect for us. this is a memory this is the best you're. going to laugh she's like this isn't. funny this is [ __ ] she like no. babe he like does he'll do these things.
and be like but it's perfect for us this. is a memory yeah he's just [ __ ] up. that's he's a famous person yeah but it. was like that there famous people are. [ __ ] up yeah but that was the part of. the book I was like you know he's pretty. hyper competitive and it was like are. you sure you weren't punishing her for. having that sex scene definitely and but. that was the that for me that was like. the part of it where I was like whoa. dude that didn't get fully processed. he's like anyway I thought it was funny. she didn't it was like yeah dude that's.
not funny that's not a joke dude yeah. but I will say he does lay it all out. there I'd be so ticked off if my wife or. girlfriend was in a movie and even. kissed a guy i' be like all right we're. done he has to understand the Bro ship. is here it's like bro we're with you. that sucks don't put that on for your. grandmother and your yeah maybe I. wouldn't let it go and I would. constantly shame her myself I mean dude. I hear it it was just so funny to watch. and maybe again maybe he does think it's. funny on some level but I was watching. it just like listening to I got like I. was at the gym listening to it and I.
just went like oh man yeah that's [ __ ]. up like that's really crazy but you know. still goat move I'm sure she never did. that [ __ ] ever again better not be he's. like the dog shoving the dog's nose and. you got to speak into the M why why is. this why is this a weekly thing I'm. sorry I'm so sorry I well don't be sorry. fix it I am right. now here he's just. shoving you showed her nose in it you.
have to that was uh yeah that was a deep. that was a deep [ __ ] it was a deep. attack well you know ultimately though. oh dude and then. so and then we watched the interview so. I'm I'm just like I'm deep into Will. Smith's mind the whole weekend I'm just. watching this [ __ ] being like it was. interesting the fact that he was at the. height the Pinnacle of an actor's career. pretty much you know as big as a person. could get yeah and he was like miserable. CU When he did After Earth his he was.
just like you know on just go mode go go. go you know his family wasn't really too. happy about it and he was married to an. actress who that's a [ __ ] up Dynamic. yeah when somebody's like Global. sensation she got so [ __ ] up she. eventually started a heavy metal she had. what she started a heavy metal band she. did yeah dude Wicked wisdom Jada started. heavy metal B he wi wisdom it was Wiki. wisdom wi wisdom not wi not Wiki wisdom. it was Wicked what the [ __ ] yeah I.
always everybody always acted like she. was some. [ __ ] Superstar it's like no she's not. I mean she was a she was in what set it. off and that was it that was the movie J. Grand oh really was that se Set It Off. mov yeah no who was a sex scene with oh. I don't know was it really Set It Off. the sex scene yeah I was just looking it. up thank you no damn no that's awesome. yeah it's like uh she was like an extra. in The Matrix the second one or. something he was supposed to be in The.
Matrix Will Smith yeah he supposed to be. [ __ ] ke. Reeves what yes he turned it down he did. well cuz he had a formula cuz he knew. what he turned down one of them it was. The Matrix yeah he turned down the. Matrix to do Wiggy wow. wow yep but he still got the he also. turned down D. Jango why I don't know well he has a. formula for movies where you need to. have creatures a love story and special. effects. those are the things that sell.
ultimately that was initially he did. that mibs Independence Day He loves. aliens that was his his manager read. like 500 scripts and was like this is. the formula for Blockbusters special. effects creatures in a love story he. still picked Wiki wild over the Matrix. there were some creatures there were. there was a big. spider big mechanical spider and a. handicap man that. counts that counts as a creature true. yeah they had a Dr Rob butnick didn't. they that's the [ __ ] feeling pure.
robut that movie I was pumped on that. movie that movie [ __ ] Ru he was right. on that artistically he was right. everything he did I was as a young man I. was pumped. on dude all if when you put out a song. for it that was part of his and Wiki. wild wild was like those were good songs. that was part of his marketing dude they. still hold up yeah. man come the it's stck in your head it's. a marketing dude he's a marketing genius. yeah he would go do movies like that and. then he would cut it track track and. then that would get more press and all.
that stuff dude it was the the weirdest. part was is when a cuz there was a whole. thing of like within the acting realm. like he's at a party basically and it's. like damn Jamie Fox must have felt like. a loser in front of Will and it goes. into a lot of that kind of psychology. how was like there's actors and there's. Superstars yeah you could been in like. all these movies and you're just like. yeah guy's kind of a [ __ ] nobody it. was like dude it was [ __ ] but that's. so he got to the peak of the mountain. his family started disintegrating cuz. his you know just because of like the. crazy work schedule all this other stuff.
so he was like all right you know is. Willow got in whip my hair back and. forth she quit halfway through tour she. was like all right I'm done he was like. yeah what the [ __ ] no no you can't be. done but she quit and then uh he was. Jaden wanted to be in a movie so he was. like I'm gonna heal my family we're. going to do a movie together and it was. after Earth and it [ __ ] flapped and. then he had to sit there and watch. everyone tear his son apart this guy's a. [ __ ] hack Loser yeah but then J came. out with icon what was I it's a great. song true I met I've met him once in.
California you met Jaden Smith I met. Jaden he at the wing spot I was getting. buffalo wings and he was there with his. posy and I was eating buffalo wings and. I just screamed Jaden and he turned. around and gave me one of these and then. looked away sweet you screamed Jaden I. was eating I was eating a buffalo wing. and I was like Jaden Jaden I like. buffalo wing falling out of. myou eating wings yeah yeah I met you. Jaden that's yeah he was cool and icon's.
a a Bop It is a Bop hair hair back and. forth they played it during the AUD book. I was like this was this this song did R. Bop song did rule yeah Jay-Z was in that. deal apparently too I think Jay-Z was. like managing Willow and then Willow. just cut her all her hair off like I'm. I'm done iour women can just shut [ __ ]. down like I'm just going to shave my. head and everyone's like. ew yeah we don't want to um but it was. cool but to answer your question he does. eventually get into kind of. like meditation and stuff cuz he was way.
against it he was like stuff's [ __ ]. weird he was a very like binary I'm just. going to win I'm G to win I'm G to win. I'm G to win and then his family started. to deteriorate and then he did After. Earth and it deteriorated even further. damn After Earth must have been really. bad Cena came in who's that oh that's. the guy who [ __ ] his lady here's the. other thing too though. honestly it I think he got cucked for. all of us dude CU it's like if he can. get cucked you can't feel bad yeah. there's nothing else you can do he got. cocked for us since he got cucked for us.
dude cuz any if you get cucked it's like. yeah well Will Smith got cucked you. can't do any more than that turns out I. think what's going on with Nancy Reagan. I don't know did she cuck all I've seen. is she was just great at sucking dick. what it's kind of the vibe I'm getting. is Nancy Reagan was sucking dick as a. young movie as a Starlet yeah I think. there's like oh wait was she a Starlet. hwood Ronald was a star wasn't he Ronald. was a star I don't think Nancy was she. was just around Hollywood yeah sucking. dick and. [Music].
stuff make first lady o also for but. that was back when like nobody sucked. dick though so if you were sucking dick. back then you were a [ __ ] attraction. yeah I didn't I used to work for like a. 75-year-old dude and he would be like. dude like out of like 15 of your boys. maybe two of you get hand jobs in high. school you got to find like a [ __ ] up. girl to give hand jobs it was in one of. those I I forget what it was in somebody. was like can you do it like the French. girls it was dudes who had like served. overseas oh that's when the the BJ came.
our way oh after they all got their dick. sucked in World War II and then they. came home and like you ever uh you want. to use your mouth on my penis and. they're like what it's like I've heard. about. it dick sucked liberating [ __ ]. Amsterdam god dude that must have been. nuts getting head when you liberate a. city from the nais yeah or just knowing. about being like what there's head they. dude I'm telling that was like an. unspeakable back back. then you had to get it still is it's.
shameful true unless you're married if. even if you're married it's like just. for a warm-up just to it's just there to. kind of Grease the wheels of like. marriage induced erectile dysfunction. that's it. dude uh I got one for you I was. listening to that revolutions podcast. this is just one story you'll like yeah. when uh when the IND when the when the. colonists were starting to while out a. little bit England called Ben Franklin. they were like dude. he was the guy in America Ben Franklin.
was like the most respected dude he had. to go in front of parliament to speak to. them about like we got to figure this. out and all they did was just destroy. him like their goal was to like you know. ruin his character so that America. didn't have like a guy to speak for them. so they brought Ben Franklin over to. England motherfucked him for like two. straight hours he didn't say a word he. just sat there silently he was like all. right see you went back to the colonies. and was like we're going to war that's. how that's kind of how started cuz he. was like on the fence Ben Franklin was a.
little bit on the fence motherfucked and. they brought him over to try to make fun. of him it was kind of like Obama talking. to Trump at the correspondence dinner oh. Franklin just sat there like okay you. probably could roast Franklin so hard. too yeah fact those dudes roasting him. probably getting roasted by dudes in. robes and. wigs and then just being like all right. see you guys crossing the Atlantic being. like boys it's time dude they're. probably over there like you're a portly. fellow yeah just like all right. [ __ ] yeah well I'm going to.
kill you guys we'll see about that we'll. see how [ __ ] portly I am when I have. a. country damn dude that's [ __ ] nuts. yeah it is funny how that stuff plays. into it yeah just like no we should. avoid someone's like [ __ ] and he's like. well I guess uh thousands of men will. die. okay yeah look at his fat ass in those. pants it's. like those glasses seem very gay do you. agree yeah oh [ __ ] I invented.
these and they're not gay I invented. them yeah they uh oh my God I always I. always feel shame for the Pennsylvanian. Dickinson what's that he was a bit of a. you know Dickinson College and all that. he signed he was him and Franklin were. the Pennsylvania boys and Dickinson was. very against he he didn't think we. America could win he's a Tory he was a. but he. I don't know he helped I think it was.
Jefferson write they wrote two things. one of them was like we're going to stay. with England one of them was we're going. to war nice and Dickinson and Jefferson. wrote both of them and Dickinson helped. to like make sure he didn't look like a. [ __ ] like when Jefferson was writing. this is why we're becoming independent. he was he was hype man him a little he. was like yeah we are independent but. then he was like guys for real we. shouldn't do this we can't do this we're. gonna get killed imagine how scary that. was yeah they were all gonna get. beheaded true yeah one of the congresses.
they got a letter from the King that was. like you guys can stop this now or we're. going to kill all of you just so you. know wow they were all like [ __ ] was was. that the invention of gorilla Warfare. there was some of that yeah weren't they. still doing like shoulder-to-shoulder. yeah they were and there was guys like. the Swamp Fox basically with the movie. the Patriots based off of Swag this guy. named Swamp Fox down in South Carolina. he was hitting with that really yeah. buty he was Boon Style gorilla is. Spanish okay for little.
war when did did the Revolutionary War. start like because didn't they learn. from Native Americans how to like hide. behind trees and like kind offf sneak. attack yeah cuz in Europe they were. still doing like yeah battle this battle. bots basically they were doing Battle. Bots cuz it was like Wars wars were. smaller yeah it wasn't like total war. and it was like gentlemanly like they. would like surrender Forts and be like. yes this is yours now thank you it was. paint they were paintballing yeah they. were paintball and then yeah the.
Americans did get a little wild they. start they started girl warfaring a. little but that was all from the French. and Indian War so yeah okay there all. dudes that were veterans from that cuz. France came down we're like yo we'll. help you guys France was France teamed. up with the Indians and started doing. some nasty stuff yeah they did have some. uh yeah they would cut everyone's. [ __ ] heads off yeah dude dir frogs. the frogs would sit back and be like. dude what's going on and the Indians. were like we got this and started. skinning people and they'd be like oh. yeah no don't cut his skin.
off yeah I was reading that book when I. when you when you called me I was. reading Indian Boyhood oh that's right I. didn't get too far into it but it's. about a dude who grew up as like as they. were being it was a sue as they were. being like chased dude dudes would come. through their camps and like they'd be. chilling in like a spot like all right. we got some Buffalo and dudes would come. through and start murdering them yeah. You' be sitting there they would just. get attacked and they'd have to get out. of there and then there would be like. inter Indian beef dude the [ __ ]. accidents that occurred and these things. were so [ __ ] funny like what like.
they were just like at one point they. were like trying to get they they. dedicated like a few months to just like. hacking up trees and making maple syrup. and at one point like the young boys are. supposed to sit there and watch the. Embers and like there was like a. Superstition if like somebody wasn't. watching the fire I mean it makes sense. something bad could happen but at one. point they like they came out somebody. screamed or something where were they. like Minnesota yeah they're right around. Yep they're right around Minnesota. crossed into BC when things get hot and. come back down but at one point like the. aunt just like accidentally chopped off. someone lady's fingers they're like cuz.
we're hacking up Mark and she like. chopped off some lady's fingers and lady. was screaming they came away from the. fire and the Ant was like what the [ __ ]. are you doing get back over there yeah. you're about to [ __ ] bring us bad. luck like you you already did that and. there was a part where so like they were. chilling in their teepee at one point. and dude like it just got like lit some. of the Indians started getting guns and. [ __ ] too yeah so the one guy was like he. was trying to hunt some Buffs or he was. trying to hunt a deer and he cuz they. were like post up near a herd of buffalo.
and that was you were good you were good. for months but some guy took a gun and. tried to shoot a deer and all the. Buffalo just like dispersed so like back. then the Indians would come they would. kill you for that cuz like you know. people are going to starve to death so. then they came up and they [ __ ] just. like littered up this dude's tent they. got Gat and they just start you they go. to your teepee and just be like start. shooting arrows so you had to like get. away from that you were just getting. attacked constantly then when you were. little they'd put you on dogs they like. dog SL so but every now and again the. dogs weren't like horses like the dogs. would just like when you were a little.
kid your dogs would just be like it was. the summer they would Veer into rivers. dogs would just get bored and just jump. into a river and your kids would be in. there it's like dude he was like a. couple times ended up in the river yeah. the dogs are just like [ __ ] it dude. let's play yeah they they only had dogs. for a long time yeah man which is very. funny and they could didn't fully train. them so like you'd be on the thing with. your little sister and your sled would. just go right into a river yeah dog. would catch the. Zoomies yeah was really funny to read. but it's about that how like you know.
the dogos the puers would C the pinis. would catch the Zoomies dude imagine. really depending on a dog like that I. can't M dude Jackson shits if I give him. two hours time he will [ __ ] and piss in. my basement and it infuriates me and. there's nothing you can do like I I've. tried reasoning with him rewarding him. putting his face in it I've be like dude. this is just a memory bro this is good. for. us yeah man you can't that that's tough. to actually like survival wise rely on. dogs yeah but it was funny thinking.
about like two-year-olds just getting. dragged into a river by a dog yeah they. right that's a good laugh it's a fun. time yeah it's a fond memory probably. into the into the like Mississippi isn't. that crazy it goes up there I didn't. know the mississipp goes there's another. River I think that's what splits. Minneapolis and St Paul is there a. Minnesota River or something probably. there's one River they went through that. was apparent they were saying it's. toughest River the dude's grandmother. dude the lady was like 65 swam across it. cuz they would make like shitty rat. and she was like nah [ __ ] that and this. lady just swam crossed it twice pretty.
nasty nice apparently people were so. wildly and shape back like you'd walk. like 40 miles and be. like so makes sense yeah but he was. saying not walking dude he lost it all. he was like dude now it's like now he's. a soft [ __ ] writing books he had Indian. Boyhood but he was like it was tight but. he was talking about the lacrosse games. they were sick yeah big dust ups dude. dust UPS during The Lax games it was. yeah the [ __ ] it was like d they' be. playing like d like literally he's like. you couldn't see it would get so dust. you me dust literal dust leral dust up.
and he said just one dude would break. from the dust cloud and like score and. they like yeah that's. awesome but yeah his name was basically. like. loser we talked about that in the uh the. Indian names weren't like as cool as you. think they were it was all like dog. boner. yeah his mom died in child birth yeah. and so they named him like unfortunate. loser like it was like that was his name. and his luckily his mother-in-law got a.
hold of him cuz his his uh his yeah his. mom's mom no his dad's mom wanted to. just like she was like I'll hold him I'm. not feeding him because obviously this. dude's a bad Omen I'll let him just die. and I'll throw him away but the mom's. like no I'll raise them I'll ra yeah. they gave you nicknames like Rucker Park. you had to like do something then you. get a nickname and your nickname would. be like if you [ __ ] up your nickname. would be like [ __ ] his pants yeah and. they had a redeem so he I didn't get to. the part where he redeemed himself but. but like another kid with a shitty name. got like named winner after like his.
tribe won lacrosse game like we'll name. you winner so it's was like sick that's. a victory yeah that was a dude that's. high stakes dude yeah your actual name. yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] your name was [ __ ]. [ __ ] loser it's like well if your uncle. wins this lacrosse game you'll be. Supreme champion from now on you had to. go to girls like what's your name be. like uh can't get my dick hard poor. loser fart ball G.
nice I suck. penises without money. yes there's nothing wrong with that. there's nothing wrong with that what the. Native American culture of for Native. amican penis without money. that no money Uncle suck yeah yeah dude. that's [ __ ] sick they had bad names D. your mom dies in child birth and they're. like your name's dork yeah [ __ ] your. mom's dead. so yeah you only eat two meals a day if.
you're a strict Indian warrior two meals. that's it yeah we were trying dude. [ __ ] Noah is being a glutton on the. way up why was he we had a big seven. deadly sin talk dude what you guys hit. him with your Glutton he was being a. glutton dude what what did he do okay no. what was your lunch actually I'll tell. you because he's off mic he had a hot. dog that's gluttonous you can't even eat. hot hot dog for fun the main course. that's you eat hot dogs for fun I didn't. even have one well he was saying he eats. for fuel that was fuel he had a turkey.
fueled on a hot dog at night the other. time and got sick he was being. envious he was. being he was eating fuel he had a turkey. and cheese fuel you were Glutton and now. you're fraud too you're fraud wait fraud. he's fraud I you're wrath and greed dude. no he so wait why would you envy you. envied his I didn't Envy I needed fuel. put on me no he had a brisket you had a.
brisket and a hot dog brisket sandwich. and a hot. dog the crazy there appetizer oh no. appetizer where did you get the brisket. sandwich wa yeah right from the same. place you had a cliff bar true GL is if. you took a bite of the hot dog while in. line I wanted to I did not oh thank god. dude well you stood your ground dude. they were eny he got he got he got the. hot dog he ordered the brisket and then. saw fresh Dogs come out and put fresh. dogs out I was like fresh dog dude a.
fresh dog is a snack you ate a dog right. you a fresh dog at w that's terrible dud. nice dude it was so nice well the only. reason we went down this road is because. they were out of sissors I hate hot dogs. no hot dogs are good that's they had you. got to start you did cowardice no you. got to go demand a fresh SZ dude yeah I. should have and when the rollers out of. sizzli if you go to the back and say can. I get a fresh sizz they will make it. coward isn't one of the seven deadly. though it's it's close it's close I'm. three for.
seven no I'm not I didn't have any sin. you were envious with the hot dog. brisket I was not envious I was being. fine was just W that was WRA no he he. had a lean he had fuel for sure dude I. had fuel turkey and cheese turkey and. cheese sandwich what size is your. sandwich. shorty yeah shorty no. I fun dude damn dude she really raining. down on why is he being mean. I it was fun discussing the seven deadly.
no look Seven Deadly people are going to. get jealous when you eat like a king The. Peasants sit out there and say why don't. we get all those treats and you. say quiet down Rabel then you say we'll. see how portly I am you guys want to. make fun of me on the internet we'll see. how [ __ ] portly I am it was funny the. distinction the gluttony fuel. distinction is very nice it is is this. fuel or is this. kutney a dude a turkey Chi lean turkey. Chi that's nice dry they mess up his.
order they didn't respect them they. messed up his order that's the one. problem about eating for fuel is no one. respects it do you come in you're like. I'd like some almonds and a turkey. sandwich people like. [ __ ] like why don't you get a they you. came in were eating brisket with hot. peppers and a hot dog they're like damn. get out of this guy's way this guy. doesn't. care that's a dangerous man they didn't. have yeah no no drinks in the Wawa. Supply yeah supply chain ah the supply.
Chain's ruining everything they diet ice. teas only and like supply chain got hit. in well they're trying to cure Co that's. probably Nationwide response by just the. diiz teas guys we can't more people. croaking from the Omron bro yeah you. don't want that supply chain got hit a. little in Kentucky what happened you see. that the tornadoes did you see all those. tornadoes I heard about them dude there. was a yeah I think they're up to like. 100 they're like 100 they hit a [ __ ]. they hit a uh Candle factory they hit a. [ __ ] Amazon Factory too there are.
[ __ ] is that haven't got socks yeah. socker is supposed to be here Saturday. dude it's Monday well Kentucky Amazon. got hit with a tornado now we can't have. trats Mis and toys for the boys and. girls for Christmas H those you have. Amazon Prime perhaps they'll go through. the rubble they'll go through the rubble. for the Prime members they'll move the. bodies out of the way to get be like we. got to get these socks to Matt mcus. these crew cut cuz everyone made fun of. his long socks I didn't know there was. anything between ankle and like up to.
your knees yeah the knees that was all. or nothing now they have them where. they're like up to here that's what all. the cool people wear now I know I didn't. know that existed yeah I ordered them. and now there goddamn tornado dude there. tornado dude I was watching I was. watching the videos of the tornado at. night it was they were nighttime nators. it was so scary scary the lightning. would flash and then you'd see it in the. distance it'd be very spooky and then. all the lights went out while the guy. was filming oh man you could hear just. women screaming everywhere yikes say the. vids yeah this guy was filming it who's.
filming it uh some guy I don't know some. guy from Kentucky down Kentucky where in. Kentucky kyans dude that's that might. have been the worst thing kyans dealt. with in terms of tornadoes for like a. while yeah also I was gasping because I. saw Gardini socks and it's like bro I. might I actually think I like the knee. high I'm I'm more of a v bro you are a. bit of a v I'm more I'm more of a fol. gone wild you are a fool a. f yeah women women scream so this guy's.
filming he's out by like a pool he's in. like an apartment complex he's filming. it's scary you can see oh he's filming. the tornado he's filming yeah and the. the tornado's hitting like power lines. and [ __ ] so it's just constant. explosions in the distance and then all. the lights go out and you just hear. women in every apartment. like it's like there not helping women. need to stop screaming during Crazy. events unless it's like an animalistic. thing cuz it does alert you it does make. you scared does for sure you know the.
only time it's dog Brains it's dogs. barking when something something's. happening and they're just. like the only acceptable vocal outbreak. is during The Da Vinci Code when that. blond hair guy [ __ ] grabs Tom Hanks. dude I was watching last night I was. watching last night I went. H when he snatch Tom with in the British. guy's house dude I literally went dude. last night startled the [ __ ] out last. night came home late got home Uber took. [ __ ] n hours and then I finally get.
home Cross Country flight long day I get. home put on a nice compilation Tommy's. sitting here bombed drinking whiskey. what and I was like I put on I got home. like we like one put on a nice. compilation but it was one of those. where like somebody foul tipped a. baseball and it flew at the screen and. Tommy was hammering he. went baseball train so. funny damn he was in the bad he was in. the strike zone dude.
just yeah you gasp during shows and. movies and it's very funny bro that one. got me there's a plot any plot twist. matt'll. go I got scared I actually got the guy. came out and one how do you feel about. scary movies do you get spooked yeah. dude really I get startled I used to get. like for days afterwards genuinely. spooked and like yeah I remember that I. I used to do that too I'd be like afraid. of whatever movie that was now I don't. have that yeah I'm not too scared of. demons and whatnot now but it's like you. know i' I go into the full darkness of.
my basement now and I'm just fully just. kind of like basement is scary dude is. scary as hell yeah told you what I did. embarrassingly not that long ago I would. I would just sit down my basement and. just conquer the fear and sit in the. darkness oh nice and just [ __ ] just. not be freaked out so I still am a. little Speedy if I [ __ ] get out of. there but yeah I like made myself sit in. the darkness cuz you know you can't be. scared of the dark when you're 35 no you. can't I was genuinely it was my new. house that's how recent it was I'd go. down there new house is yeah that's.
scary too terrifying bro yeah but yeah. so now I'm pretty good you got a bear. crawl up the steps yeah you I used to do. in my parents dog dog run up the steps. all fours get out of there before ghost. comes out of the back room when I go now. if I'm in boogy man who's the boogeyman. you tell me ask the pope what. what I'm talking about the dark I'm. scared of the boogy man dude when I get. when I when I'm in the dark Ness now it. used to be kind of I get kind of like. scared not scared but like oh man a.
demon could get me right now now I I. when I can't see anything it's pure. Darkness I go in pure Spirit realm where. I'm just kind of like ah yes oh okay I. [ __ ] ahp yes flip it flip it on the. demons be like this is actually I like. this pretty much I'm not afraid of you. guys I'm having fun oh I basically blind. them with light when I get when I'm in. like if I'm like walking from like my. stairway Christmas lights kind of help. it's like my whole stairway is lit up. now that's nice oh you Christmas lights. on dude right now I do yeah but it's. like before that you have Christmas.
lights on the railings that's the nicest. I put them I put them up against protest. I [ __ ] round them all the way down. the railing who protested this Britney. was like it's she was like go only we. only need one more pack of Lights I got. three yeah three piece got [ __ ] three. it was 30 bucks I don't care what the. heck is 30 bucks I wrapped them all up. the railing yeah pretty sick that's my. parents do that makes me feel like I'm. at home dude the one thing about. Christmas lights of home and being a. young boy it is nice but if you're if. you're having maybe a disagreement with.
your babe and you fighting around. Christmas lights dude when you fight. they can turn in from like a very. cheerful thing to like an intensely. mentally Sinister when you're like. bummed around a little my home yeah when. you get bummed around a Christmas tree. and you're just like looking at it kind. of sad like that can be tough but. obviously you have to just get in the. spirit of Christmas I I I know I've told. this story before but one time my dad. kicked my sister and she rolled under. the tree and it fell I think Phil had a.
couple drinks and he came home it was. Phil on the loose dude everyone's not. Phil would come home for the nights or. something it'd be Phil on the loose you. got to just get out dude cuz he he. wasn't doing it he wasn't uh actually. hitting you he was just he's like I'm. going to get you like run it was very. fun it wasn't an angry kick no but every. once in a while he would catch you and. actually be like yeah you don't run i h. you like what the [ __ ] he was teaching. lessons he came home to teach some. lessons he dewied from the the nights to. be like I got to toughen these kids up I.
got to teach them a lesson yeah for sure. and I remember we were laying in the. living room watching TV and he kicked my. sister and she like rolled in she like. exaggerated the roll but she rolled and. hit the tree the tree was the lesson the. tree fell the lesson was probably it was. probably something like turn this off. I'm watching. something somebody probably mouthed off. I was like No we're going to keep. watching it God that's so [ __ ] funny. but yeah seen a domestic take down at. Christmas. tree yeah that's that'll take out the.
[ __ ] Christmas spirit but then you. get to do the whole rebuild like come on. guys guys you know what let's pick this. thing back up together yeah which is. exactly what the Dad does come on. everybody this is a nice moment for us I. can turn this thing around sorry guys. this is perfect for us we laughing 30. years we're going to laugh about this. that's a joke I was pranking you guys. it's a funny prank I got [ __ ] up as a. prank and came home and kicked you has. nothing to do with my inability to. handle my own emotions dude this is joke. it's a prank it has nothing to do with. the [ __ ] Irish not hitting the over.
was he not. right it has nothing to do with me being. a. bookie losing a g that yeah it always be. like wait why is dad mad it's like oh. yeah the [ __ ] it's Sunday yeah and. he's a bookie I didn't realize that till. College my uncles would like spazz on. the Kansas City Chiefs I'm like I know. they like the chief and the Chiefs that. much like yeah yeah um well you know. what where we at time always on this. thing oh hour 53 hey you know what. that's about right a little short guy.
yeah we'll get a little short guy in. fact we might even patreon this one who. knows you think so we'll see who knows. we'll see we can do whatever we want. dude dude this is true we're big let's. do the um we're big as hell now we are. dude this is huge although we're adult. men none of them that's true dude I. could literally do whatever I could go. home right now and just change the whole. dynamic of my house you can go home and. attack your family I could or you can go. home and be very nice to them it's up to. you I might do a little sweet and sour I. might be like hey guys what's going on. just like beat the [ __ ] out of the.
dog I had I had an uncle who used to. like I swear to God kick his dog almost. every single time he came inside from. work as soon as he came in he would look. if a dog was in the kitchen he would. [ __ ] as far as hard as he could beat. the [ __ ] out of it that's really. terrible as hard as hell that's bad this. is back in the day dude I know was. totally acceptable yeah to just beat the. [ __ ] out of your dog it was a full boot. like boom and just walk in be like.
what's up gang I'm back it's full. [ __ ] kid hey everybody it's hey. everybody do you all do your homework. yeah yeah pretty nice at least he wasn't. a glutton though kicking your dog he. might have been a glutton yeah Mausers. are sadly Glutton dude I've been. fighting my food demons for a long time. it's probably why I have uh constipated. diarrhea um let's see here oh God get. into this in the next one I just busted. up my browser very nice topic about the.
hen women swimming team bit of drama. going on o I like I like some swim team. stuff little bit of. drama little I'm not going to like this. one all right well we'll see on the next. episode of M Chan secret Pock where's my. goddamn is it on the patreon is it on. the regular one who knows dude who knows. we'll see whichever one we like also. guys let's talk B let's stop [ __ ]. around and talk business all right. man January 7. January 7th and 8th come to St Louis. please come it'll be so don't go to that.
come to me headling Caroline on Bradway. in New York City true that'd be sick If. you flew from St Louis it's a small room. so if it's not full I mean you know I. would people in the St Louis Market. you've always wanted to come to New York. why not do that on the 6th 7th and 8th. of January fly to New York City and see. me on Carolines on Broad flights are. very expensive right now in the supply. chain you you can't drink on domestic. flights either so I. would not in a lot of them you can't. American Airlines if you're in first. class oh yeah probably lost probably.
lost touch. guys you only drink on First. Class January 7th it's time for you to. spend a little it's the holiday season. women women that your boyfriends like. the show they're going to want to come. see me do stand up live in New York City. Shane bigle Shane said you guys were. barking in tornadoes like. dogs it's also a fair point they do bark. at tornadoes that's more of a Simeon. response of just kind of like when. monkey see a snake they have yeah um.
Indianapolis February what you got. February 4th and 5th I don't know okay. good for some reason February 4th and. 5th come out to Indianapolis don't think. twice about. it and then Austin Texas dude 318. that'll be the homecoming man that's my. last show my last live show probably for. a few months got something cooking on. the home front what's that we'll find. out who knows but I probably won't be. going anywhere for a. while oh okay.
yeah [ __ ] baby dude oh yeah yeah I'm. having a baby um second baby so I'll be. I'll be at home I thought you talked. about that already just on stage I. haven't told I haven't told my pod fam. pod fam that's a big. plug baby coming I have another child. coming check that out baby coming um. that'll be at the end after after Austin. coming how about New Year's dude how. about New Year's what well hey listener. you're around New Year's why don't you. come down to the Irvine.
Improv it's it'll be a fun. time and I had to move my Summit City. dates from the 21st and 22nd of January. looks like they're going to be in. March how about that really yeah I'll. tell you why it's a cool one we'll tell. our paig fam I'll tell the Paige fam pod. fam YouTube fam it's been nice seeing. you but we got to get into the Inner. Circle only the people we truly trust. yeah only the people we really care. about we love you guys you guys are you. guys are more acquaintances let's get to. the [ __ ] Inner Circle of things.
yeah yeah all right maybe this is the. patreon no dude come on play us out you. want me to play you little. [Music]. gypsy what you doing over here dude. [Music]. wow you really got those endings down. nice you got it I like it pop you got to.
pop it off all right thank you for. listening to our podcast yeah man'. [Music].
