Swapping Life’s With My Husband!
All right. Today we are switching lives. for Okay, I'm putting it away. Come. here. Why is everybody running? We're switching lives for the day. And. we're gonna say we're not. I can see under your dress. Close your legs. Be more ladylike. Sorry. You know you look like, huh? That uh that the ugly duck. You know. what I'm talking about. Ugly. Yeah. I mean, that sounds accurate. From Chicken Little. That duck. What duck? From Chicken Little. I want to see continue and I'll show. you. I'll put it on I'll show you on the. TV here in a second.
Hey, let me see. Let me see your phone. Looking it up. You guys see his attitude? Cuz he's been annoying in the last 10. minutes. No, I need it. I haven't been annoying. No, he was. He said, "Control yourself, woman." He's freaking out. Control yourself, woman. I just need to say what else did he say? He said, "Control yourself, child." He. said, "Control yourself.". Because when people freak out, they need. to control themselves. Anyways, you guys. are probably wondering, why are you in a. dress? And I'm kind of wondering the. same thing. It's because we're going to go through. each other's drafts to see how what.
we're like. No, not because we were supposed to do. this episode. And this episode was. supposed to be about what we would all. do if we were the opposite gender, like. what we would do for the day. And we. were all supposed to come dressed up as. the opposite gender. But as you can see, it's been a hoax. I look like the opposite gender. Listen, I look like a unicorn. I walked in here. and they all laugh at me for following. for following the agenda. It No, it wasn't on the agenda. He just.
wanted to dress like that. No, it was on the agenda. Do this. No, it wasn't. I'm not doing that. Show. me the agenda. Well, I can't cuz I don't have my phone. Well, let's start. Let's start. However, what's the first thing you would do if. you were a boy? First, I would wake up, obviously. Yeah. Do my daily routine. Also, I would. shower. What? Boys don't have a daily routines. Yeah, they're gross. Well, I would shower, right? Maybe. Depends on what day of the month it is. First, I would shower depends on what.
time you woke up. And I would see what. my hair looks like after cuz usually my. hair doesn't look like this. Not. straight. It's it's it's like. Well, you would have boy hair. So, you. probably just grab a hat. I would No, no. I would I would put it. like this. I would do all that. Or ice. cream cut. And I would um. ice cream cut. What's the heck is an ice. cream truck? It's like, you know, the ice cream and. it like goes out. Oh, the hair goes like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hold on. Let me. see if I can seize without my. I'm sorry. What would you do? I have to go. I'm sorry. I can't do it.
No. Um, so then I would What would you. do if I did that on the podcast? Like, what would you do? You started crying. If I started crying and walked off, I wouldn't know what to do. I' We'd tell. Kate to go do something. Yeah. I don't like it when people cry. You're a man, Harper. What are you doing. if you're a man? You're not crying. Yeah. So, basically after that, yeah, after that I would um I would after I. take a shower, I'd do my hair like that. I wouldn't have to do any makeup, so I'd. go back to sleep again and then. start the day. Oh, also I would see if I.
could get abs. That's pretty much all. The Why do you want abs? Cuz. they. I mean, girls can have abs. No, it's very hard for girls to get abs. Yeah. Do you have abs? Yeah, I do. I have abs. I have abs. You both do? Yeah, I got. You have abs. And why do you want abs as. a boy? Cuz I want an eight pack, not just a. sixpack. Technically, everyone has abs. Some are. just hidden. Some Some abs are just one big ab.
It's called a oneack. That's absolutely not true. Cash, here. This is what you look like. This is what I look like. Oh my gosh. That is what I look like. Oh, you're the ugly duck. That is the. ugly duck. Listen. You ready, Joe? Okay. All right. Here we go. Oh my gosh. You hit him in the face. Oh no. Oh no. Looks like he's about to cry on the. side. It hit him in the face. That really did scare me for some. reason.
Nothing scares me more than looking at. Cash. Cash, I even I don't even want to. ask this question. Uhhuh. What would you do if you were a woman. for a day? I put on a dress. Is a woman. Yeah. No, I'm kidding. No. If I was the. woman for a day, first of all, I'm going. commando just like I always do. Second. of all, commando. I would. Well, I don't really know. I feel like. I'm happy with my life. I think we all know. Really? I feel like I don't want to be a.
girl. You were terrified. Can you at least. take the hair out? Yeah, it's really bothering me. It's super I'm going to take it out. No, don't take my hair. Don't touch my. hair. It literally is terrifying. Don't touch my hair. It's terrifying. I can't stand it. I. worked all morning on this hair. Looks more like antennas than hair. You know, you get satellite with those. You know when like little girls that. haven't grown their hair yet and like. like when little like babies haven't. grown in hair yet, but they have just a. little and their mom's trying to put. pigtails in. Yeah. It doesn't look like. that's what you look like. No, it's cute. when it's a baby. It's not cute on a grown man.
A grown or a overinflated baby. Mhm. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Joe, why are you just. drinking this? Is that. Oh, what is that for? You don't know. what Petmoisel is? I ain't touching that. It's a medicine. It's medicine that tastes like bubble. gum. It's that nasty medicine. No, no, no, no. I don't want it. They got to see what you're talking. about. At least. that's disgusting. Petal, buy now. No.
kidding. No, look. You never seen that stuff? I have. I'm. terrified of I've had bad dreams about. this. I remember this. Try it. It It fixes my stomach. What happened to your stomach? Um, I saw you. Oh, and it just dropped. Give me some more of that. Give that. back. All right, let's talk. Kate, what would. you do if you were a man for a day? Um, 24 hours. You're a male. on Earth. You have one answer. Please. You have one answer. You're you're.
you're you're a male. You get one day. What you doing? There's something that you want to do. What are you doing with that? I'm doing absolutely nothing. I'll have. peace standing up. You would be complex. That's a good one. I would be cool. Here's the thing. If I was No, since no. one's asked me. If I was a woman for a. day. All right. Hey, Matt. What would you do if you were. a woman for a day? Harper does a woman for a day. First off, Harper, stop picking at your skin. Pick at the bare skin. At least. you don't have no skin. It's fur.
What an idiot. Joe, come on. You can't. stop. Come on, man. He's clearly got fur. Yeah. Come on. Well, we start right M, what would you do for a day if you were. a female? They already asked me this question and. they cut it out because it was such a. good answer. Yeah, Maverick, we had to cut Maverick's. question out. You know, this podcast is. supposed to be uncut, but we actually. had to cut what Matt said. So, Mav, go. ahead. Was that bad? Honestly, I don't know what else I would. do if I was a woman for a day. All right. Well, no. Say an actual. answer. If I was a woman for a day,
he already said it. First thing I'd do is go get paid for. sports. Yeah, I would I would go try to. get paid less for sports for sure. No, here's what I would do. I would A go. dominate whatever sport I'm going to do. B, you're a female. What do you mean? I But I'm But I'm like a male. I'm me. No, you're a full female. But I'm me. No, but you're Wait, you got that dog in. you? I got that dog. You're that dog. You're full on female. Okay, fine. You're in a female body. I'm gonna go. try to find some dumb guy and convince.
him to like fight an alligator for me. just for my own entertainment. because that would be fun. I feel like that would actually work. Oh, I could find a dumb enough guy. Just try to go get some free dinner, too. Yeah, I'd be like I'd be like, "Oh, no. My purse is in the alligator's. swamp. You got to go get it. This bear's a girl. This bear's a girl.". Wait, this is very crucial to the the. question. Am I a good-looking lady like. me?
Nope. Or uh right now from a guy's. perspective, I'll be honest. Uhhuh. No, you're not a good-look. You look like trash. I feel like I. pulled off the lady look pretty good. I hate this episode so much. Like I I I. like there have been a lot of times I'm. like, "Oh, I want to leave.". Okay, I genuinely want to leave right now. Why? I hate this. It's uncomfortable. Oh my god. What's uncomfortable? I can make you. more uncomfortable. No, no, no. Okay, put the taser down. Put the taser.
down. Put the taser. No, no, no. Seriously, put the taser. No, I love the episode. We're going to. hit you. Put the taser away, bro. Put. the taser away. Standing. Aren't you like cutting your asses in. half? Yeah. M. Oh. Um, I almost taste myself. M. Put Sit down. Sit down. Call it a lollipop. I almost taste myself. M. Why is this bear here? He's not going to tase you. K. Why do. you hate this episode? Wait, why do you hate the I'm so. confused right now. She hates it because.
she realized how much life how much. better her life would be if she was a. man. I think I think she hates it because she. realizes I'm pulling off this dress. better than she ever did. My god. She's smiling. She know this truth. She's like, "Yeah, she looks good.". Are you jealous of this? Yeah. You. jealous of this? Oh. She's going to be like after the. podcast, I would never want to go out. with him, but he looks so good.
Please. What? I worked all morning on this hair. Looks force. You literally look deflated now. Hold up right there. I got to tell I got. to let you know something. I got to let. you know. The LOL Bros podcast is. officially out. That's right. LOL Bros. link in the description. Go subscribe. right now. What the It looks worse. Now, now your. hair reminds me of Dwight. Dwight. It is kind of curled. It feels like it's in my hair. My hair.
feels like it's in a funny position. Doesn't feel natural. But K, can you. just answer why you hate the show so. much? I won't hate it as much when you just. What are you giving me? A cover up. Yeah. Kay wants me to cover up now. You need. to put your pump cover on, girl. Just Just. can't be walking around. Okay. Well, I put this on. Tell me why. you hate the episode. Okay. I just didn't like the fact that we were. preparing for the. I don't think she liked the episode cuz. she felt attracted to you.
Yeah, I feel like a hoola girl. Cue the Hawaiian music. Last time. Kate, let's leave. Yeah, actually this. is giving off a terrible. I don't know the rest of the song, but. is that Lilo Stitch? Is that the Lilo. Stitch song? Um, I think I almost broke the dress. How do you take it off? You have to unzip it. Don't undress him right now. Okay, we're. all here.
Gosh, bro. Can you imagine like some 14-year-old. describing what she watched today at. dinnertime? Well, I watched this guy. named Cash take off his dress on the. podcast. You watched what? And then we changed back. and then this 14-year-old girl named. Harper. And then M. Oh, wait. No, that got cut. out. Just now what got cut was hilarious. Okay, it was. Wait, Kate, you still never said why you. hate the episode. I hate this episode. You just went off and you were like, I. hate today. I hate everything.
I know why she hates it. It just gave me off a vibe. No. And then you just didn't answer a. terrible vibe. She's has to be a man for this episode. She hates men. Do you hate men? Do you hate men, Kate? No, I don't. I heard you listen to those titles. Tell us your claim. I feel like this this episode everyone's. hostile and I don't like it. No, it's giving off a bad vibe because. of this rainbow chair. This rainbow chair does smell like. cigarette smoke and bed bugs. Um, so I. don't really know why I'm sitting on. No, but Kate, why don't you like this. episode?
I just I didn't like how I came upstairs. ready to film the podcast and then my. husband followed shortly after wearing. one of my dresses and it wasn't that. dress. It was a lot it was a lot tighter. of a dress and I didn't like it and I. said that's not funny. You shouldn't. wear that. She dress what did not it didn't. they don't like how. it didn't compliment his features. We'll. say that. they don't like how risque I dress as a. female. You need to dress a little more modest. That's all I'm saying. It's just like like I don't know. I. don't. You act like I'm an actual female. wearing the dress. You looked like a naked mole rat in the.
other dress. It just it literally I was. like oh that just looks wrong. Like. that's. Yeah, that's the joke. dude shouldn't be wearing dresses. That's the joke. That's why it's funny. when I wore it. It's a It's just like I don't know. And then when Matt started singing. Somewhere Over the Rainbow, that shaky. voice, I started getting freaked out a. little cuz it sounded like um you know. when those Tik Toks are like um features. of the ocean you haven't seen and it's. like yo, all I know is K's going to hate if I.
ever go to Scotland. No. And then and then and then the other. ones it's like it's like by the window. by the window. Oh, I know that one. Yeah, that that's what you sounded like. by the window. That one exploring abandoned like asylum. and it scared me so bad and then that's. when I was like Kate can should we leave. cuz when you said so. I mean I sounded better than that but. it was freaking me out. Are you going to like if we ever go to. Scotland and I wear the skirts? I mean. a kilt.
A kilt. I mean, if we go to Scotland, we. got to wear a kill. I got to rock a red one. It looks like this. Oh my. No, it's Scotland, Ireland. Are. you gonna be mad when I go over to that. country that they wear the kill set and. I wear a kill? Because that's normal there. Like you. coming on our podcast. This is We don't This is like I feel. like we have a young audience. I don't. care. So, as long as it's normal where we are, we're fine. No, because I wouldn't want him to wear. that either in Scotland. That other dress. Yeah. I wouldn't want. him to wear that either. What if they wore that in Scotland? Wait, I would say no. Don't wear Wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold up, hold up, cash. Actually, let me rephrase that. If. you walked onto the podcast in a kilt, I. would say. interesting choice, but okay. I'll buy you a kilt. I don't I Interesting choice, but okay. I just don't understand because you're. saying I looked too bad in the dress, but you can wear the dress. Why can't I wear the dress? I can't. God, I'm so over this episode. What does that. even mean?
It means like you're nervous, you know? Oh, I'm shy. Listen, guys. Get the bear out. There's something I need to tell you. Please tell us. This episode sucks. Yeah, they I don't know why. No, it doesn't suck. If you're still. watching, I want you to know you're. watching quality content. No, this is quality content. M's got Ted. as a friend. I don't know what's better. than that. Listen. See, that's how bad the episode. is. I say listen, everyone shuts up.
They're like, "Please say something. good. Please, please." They're like, "Please save us.". Yeah, we. normally I say listen, they just talk. over me. I say, "Listen, guys." Like, "Please, please listen.". I didn't even mean to say it. Yeah. No, but guys, I see what you're saying. Listen. Everyone got quiet. All right, Harper. Here's the question of the day. There was something. We should just go. through each other's draft. We probably should. We probably That's.
probably a good idea today. Listen. No, there was something before this episode. that I only caught like half of it, but. y'all were talking and Kate asked you. She said, "What are you? What was your. favorite part of the day?" or something. and you said something and then you were. like, "That's not today though." What. were you talking about? Oh, going to Orlando. When are you going to Orlando? Friday. What? For what? Not tomorrow. Not Not Friday. The next Friday, whatever. Same thing. No, it's two different Fridays.
What are you going for? Cheer. Cheer. Obviously, everyone goes to Orlando for. cheer. Should we go to Orlando? Like a cheer city. Huh? Should we go to Orlando with her? Wait, if I'm allowed to wear my sunflower. dress, I'm eager to see Cash's dress. We can go to Orlando and film a podcast. anywhere there. I hear it's culturally acceptable in. Orlando. What? Your sunflower dresses? Mhm. Mhm. Who wants to do a handstand contest? Oh, me. Please do something. We got to do. something. Okay. No, I would.
Hold up. Me personally, I I love this episode. I love today and. I'm happy. Why? Why do you two have just. like this hostility? Me? Hostility? No, like she's mad for some reason. You're upset. She's losing her mind. She's trying to. do a handstand. I'll be honest. Why? I probably think. the episode's bad. My phone is dead. So, I don't have any notes to like do any. sort of topic. Yeah, you just talk. It's having fun. See, she's losing her mind. Matt thinks. the episode's bad because he can't look.
at his phone and play. He thinks because he can't play Clash of. Clans is not a fun episode. Clash of Clans. I'm saying normally I. have notes. What else do you need, bro? It's LOL. podcast. You just talk about funny. stuff. Are you okay? Are you okay? No. What if I did that when No, Harper. Hey, you're dating a guy in this. in this situation. You're dating a guy. You're No, you're Yeah, you're dating. Okay. You really like this guy. You. might marry him. You really like him,
right? Yeah. Now, not. No, not that guy. Different guy. Different guy. All right. You're dating. this guy. Okay. You land an acting role in the next. I'm talking directly into my mic. No, it's not that. It's that when the. like when we No, when we edit it, you. can't see your face. It's like this. Fine. Literally, I'm looking at a m a. mic covering your face. Yeah, you're mad. You're talking like. this. Look, these control freaks here just look. You're talking like this. Is this better? Oh, my alarm's going off. Dad, is this.
better? Yes, son. Thank you. Wait, you can't be my dad. I didn't think so either. Okay, so we got to get a blood test. going. Listen, listen, Harper, you're. dating a guy. You're you're in love with. him. You You might marry him. You're not. 100% sure. Okay. You land a role in Outer Banks. Here. It's Harper again with the mic. Okay. When did you unplug it? You unplugged your mic.
No, just now. Dude, I swear I'm going to start a. podcast on my own that says the new and. improved LOL podcast without everyone. else. Everyone's handcuffed and can't touch. their mic. We're going to have to handcuff her for. an episode. We got to handcuff you two so you can't. touch your mic. Both of us is crazy. Wait, give me right. now. I don't know why I touched it. Touch it again. I got to move it because I'm in a. movable chair. Okay, so back to my. back to my question. You land a you land. a roll out. in outer base. You are.
sorry. K just is looking at her Summer. Fridays like she was so pissed off. She. was like, "What? You just you taking all your anger out. on your summer Fridays.". I literally saw it too. Give it to me. You You just like. I literally like turned the camera. another way cuz I was like I'm going to. be nice to her and not show her right. now. Wait, what do you mean? You got beef with Summer Friday. You're just angry and you're taking it. out on Summer Friday. You talking about I was like this. I'll play it back. Okay.
You land a role in Outer Banks. and you're in love with your boyfriend. Yeah. But in the in the show, you have to have another boyfriend. You have to Yeah. You have a boyfriend. in the show and you got to kiss him. Just like a peg. You just got. No, no, no. It's like It's like a 3se. secondond kiss. Okay. That's pretty much apparent. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I would still do it. You would? Yeah. What if your boyfriend What if your. boyfriend said, "I'm breaking up with. you if you do that.". Well, I would be supporting the whole. family. No, she's putting the family on her. back. I like it.
Yeah. Taking home the rent. I don't think you. can carry anything on your back. No. But also, what's it called? Also, like uh what's it called? Um like. Alex is in trouble. Yeah. What's he doing? Your No, your. boyfriend is on the show, too, but he's. just not your boyfriend on the show. Does that make sense? Yeah. See, guys, look at him. So, he's another character. You're doing it right now. No, I'm looking at my phone. What the. Oh my god. I was just looking to see if. anything new was posted about us on. Reddit. Would you kiss the guy? She said yes. Bro, you would? Yeah, she said yes, bro. You.
already She already answered. Wait, this is Would you? No. Yes. You want to kiss the dude? No, I. wouldn't kiss the guy. I wouldn't kiss. the dude. Listen, listen. This is reminding me of. sunflower dress. Yeah, unless we were switching roles. like we said, bro. All right. Sorry. We didn't mean to. interrupt you, Harper. It's fine. Whatever. No, but um this. reminds me of the new movie. Um have. y'all watched what's it called again? Um. it has the song. It's like staring. the window.
I know exactly what you're talking. about, but I don't know what you're. talking about. I don't even know the song. No, it's Let me Let me see it. I know. the movie, trust me. Everybody's talking. about it. Everybody, everyone. It's a new movie. Oh, yeah. Um, anyone But you. Anyone But you. Yeah. Anyone but you. I watched it. It's so good, bro. I like it. Except for. like some parts, but um but basically I. um I watched. You saw it? Mhm. It's a rated R. How did you get in?
What? I like. It's a rated R movie. Listen, nobody. watch. How did you get in? I snuck in. How? I walked through and snuck. You didn't pay for like another ticket. and go to the other one? Have you ever been kicked out of a movie. for sneaking into one? No. Really? Wait, you didn't even buy a ticket? No. Harper, that's illegal. Did you guys ever want to see what time. it was? Yeah. What are you hiding somewhere? What are you hiding on here? What are you hiding on here? Wait, Harper, that's not okay. You can't. do that. What do you mean? If you're going to sneak into a movie, you have to at least buy a movie ticket.
for another movie so that you paid for. the movie that you're sneaking. No, you don't. You can't sneak into. movies. Why are you acting like No, Harper. You. can't do that. That's so wrong. At least. pay for a ticket and then sneak in. I mean, don't sneak into movies. But I'm. saying. period. Kate Kate's an ethical criminal. I'm glad you have ethics to it. No, I was with my friends and. she's just a straight up wow. Like, if you're going to kiss a guy on a. TV show, just don't tell your boyfriend. No, but back to the thing. Tom Cruz. Is that the guy who was in it? Tom Cruz. Glenn Powell. No, no, no, no, no. It was somebody and.
and anyone but you. And anyone But you, the guy. Tom Cruz is like 50. H hangman on Top. Gun. What was his name in real life? Oh, I don't know. I I'm not sure. Hangman. Don't remember. really. Well, that was him. And what's. the girl's name? Sydney Sweeney. Yo, that was the loudest part. That was my mouth. That was not your mouth. Yeah, it was. That was not He's trying to blame it on. his mouth, but Joe just ripped the. craziest part of all time. Your mouth. There's no way. My phone. Now it's his phone. It was his mouth. It was his phone. It.
was your rear hand. No, but basically. We all know what it was. I've heard. that. I hear that sound every day. So. many times a day. No, but basically Sydney Sweetie had to. do a bunch of different scenes with uh. what's it called? Glenn Pal. Glen Pal. Yeah, Glenn Pal. And um she has uh a a. um husband in real life and like. Oh yeah. She's like kissing him all this and it's. like. that's what actors do. Yeah. But. yeah, like. I need to take a Can you believe that?
No. Well, that's why I don't really want. to be an actor. Really? And my mom's forcing me. My mom. is not forcing you to be an actor. My mom's forcing me to kiss a bunch of. boys on camera. No, your mother does not. No, she doesn't. No, I know. But I don't want. Your mom actually says all the time, "We. are only going to do what Harper wants. to do. We will never make her do. anything she doesn't want to do.". Yeah, but behind the scenes, Harper. No, she is not. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Act. No. What's that girl's name? Sam. Sam Pucket. Pocket with the butter sock. Yeah.
Yeah. The one that her mom actually. forced her to act. Oh, Janette Mccertie. Janette Janette Mccertie. And she made a book. I'm glad my mom. died. Yeah, that was a crazy that's a crazy. book title. You haven't seen that? She's. like smiling. No, she's holding she's. holding ashes. She's like, I'm glad my mom died. It's actually really I listen to it. Great thumbnail. It was really good. I think it's good, too. And she like audio booked it. It was. literally like listening to that was. like listening to you just like having a. conversation with her. Like a podcast. Case was Kate was. ebooking it or whatever. And I thought. she was listening to a podcast cuz.
Janette was reading it herself. Yeah, it was really good. If you were if. you like grew up on Nickelodeon or. Disney and you know who Janette Mccertie. is, I highly recommend it. Actually, okay. Would you be okay with Cash. kissing another girl on a on a movie. for just three seconds? You got to remember how much he's. getting paid. What about a million dollars? What the. It's a 3se secondond kiss. Nope. I'm not I'm not looking at anything. That tells you how much money Kate. makes. That she was fine with not she. was passing up a million.
I always wondered how rich you guys. were. Now I know. Would you? Well, you're just going to. say yeah. No. Would you? No. What? I What? Would you let Kate kiss another guy on? Absolutely not. I genie. I genuinely don't even care if it was a. Billy. Oh, really? You wouldn't? Oh my gosh. That's crazy. You really wouldn't? No. A billion dollars? No. For a 3se secondond kiss? No. No. Y'all are crazy. Dead serious. Billion dollars.
He's ugly. He's He's like the like this. guy is like trash. Does he look like you? No, he's not trash. If she's kissing. someone. No, no, no. He's going to be like freaking Jacob. from Twilight. If If he looks similar to Mav, then. sure. What? Oh, that was really mean. Then you. should apologize to your brother right. now. Please forgive me. [Laughter]. I can't believe you remember that. I've seen all the movies. Really? Yeah.
Have you guys ever seen Planet of the. Apes? Apparently, this is how apes. forgive each other. Okay. Can we start doing that in. arguments? When one of us get upset, please forgive me. When one of us gets upset at each other, can we be like. And then they always run off and play. Like. yeah, like really happy. Hey yo, you're on a pod. Trying to be more like Logan Paul. What does that mean? Logan Paul on his computer.
Huh? Paul, guys, I literally have cookie dough in. my wedding ring. Wait, what do you mean? You're trying to. be more like Logan Paul. She lost it. She's. She's like the other monkey. What's his. name? She gone. I think she was unplugging her mic. earlier for safety. She's like, I don't. know what I'm going to say.
Y'all butchered it. Butchered it. Yeah. Would you like to sing it? Staring and leg space. No, I don't want any more singing. Y'all. not. [Music]. I'm confused. Y'all are married. Wait, do y'all trust each other? What do you mean? Do you trust each other? I don't trust myself.
If you trust each other, why why aren't. you finding them, you know, for a. million dollars for three kids? We don't need a million dollars. Wait, wait. Say that again. Wait, wait, wait. Say. again with how rich they are. Oh my. gosh. She said we don't need a million. dollars that bad. We could be dead broke. Okay. Who's your favorite actor? Girl. actor. Girl actress. Switch. She's not actor. Okay. But she Yeah. I mean, she she was. in that one movie, but she was like, "Go Troy, go.". It's Jennifer Lawrence. No, wait. Was she really in High School. Musical?
No. Hilarious. Jennifer Lawrence. So funny, bro. Okay. She and Cash have to do a 3se. secondond kiss, but he's going to be. You guys are going to make even. $3 million, but also he's going to be in. a movie that is going to be like. cemented in history. It's like Harry. Potter. It's like one of the biggest. movies of all time. Like this is his big. break. Like y'all are going like he's. going to be an A-list actor after this. Oh, I would totally. probably win like Grammys or something. whenever they win for movies.
And remember, he is an actor. That's his. career. M. No. 3 millie Grammy or Emmy, whatever it's. called. What are you doing? Stop unplugging your mic, Joe. Would you? Huh? Would you? Um, the world's watching. It's hard to. answer that right now. I'll tell you what, me in my house, we will serve the Lord. Listen, no, I would I I think I'd be. okay with like a three second. I'd never.
watched the movie myself. Like just like a. I would be okay with a 3se secondond. kiss. Million dollars. Like listen, if she was. having to like lay in bed with another. guy and they're like making out. No, definitely not. I'm glad you got your lines m. Yeah. But if it's like it's like the. movie and he like drops her off at the. house and like she just pecks him before. she goes in the door. No, absolutely not. You want to be fine with me doing that? No. What? He's just going to be I say no and he's. going to be like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. What do you mean?" I think y'all. are laughing. If I said yeah, you'd be like, I think they're being for real. I don't think so. I think if you came. across, Cash would go, "Oh, no. No. I'm being for real." For. me, she ain't kissing no one. Oh, okay. No, I would. For $10 million, but me, I mean, $10 million or stupid. Don't even Don't even Don't even say. that. Listen, is there. You kissing a girl is just as bad as me. kissing another guy. Is it though? Whoa. Whoa. Wait, pause. Hold up. Why. did you assume I was I wasn't even. saying that. You said me personally, no, she could.
not kiss another girl. But and you were. about to say if it were you. No, I was not going to say that. Well, he is supposed to take care of you. As the man of the house, I got to provide. Sometimes you got to do things you don't. want to do, like kiss Jennifer Lawrence. Okay, this is me providing. Okay, I'm going. have to kiss Jennifer Lawrence and we're. just going to have to suffer through it. No, but guys, do you hear how stupid?
Like like. I get it guys. That's a joke. It's a joke. No, they're not stupid. But like. he wouldn't suffer. It's a 3second kiss. Like it's a 3second. kiss. What What's it going to do? Honestly though, 3 seconds is a long. time for a kiss. What about 1 second? Yeah. 3 seconds. He would be dead. Even. if I said kiss the microphone, this is. how they kisses. That's not 3 seconds. That was not three. Kiss it again. No. Kiss the back. Yeah. Let him count. No. One. Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three.
Mississippi. That's too long. I'm not. okay. No, I'm not okay with a 3se second kiss. I'm not okay. That was too long. You're. right. You have to do like this. You have to go. like a pec. Like if she was on the way. to work and she kissed her husband as. he's washing the dishes in the morning. Yeah, you'd be okay with that. That's what I'm talking about. Kiss me. I Well, I think that I'm trying to get. like that. No. No. Like this right here. Like look. this one. Look. Oh, on the Oh no. Lips like we're walking.
by. Like think about it. He's kissed. Michael. He's kissed lots of guys. I don't know. why he's named dudes. Okay. Do the whole interaction. You're washing. dishes. Ready? Why is she washing dishes, Joe? Because No, you're washing dishes. Oh, I'm washing dishes. Cuz she just cooked the breakfast. The woman's leaving for work. Look at me. I know how to wash dishes. I. totally done this before. I do this all. the time. Oh, hi. Big strong lady going. to work. Going to her office. Here. Kiss. me. He's always been into big, strong, sturdy women like you that can provide.
Come on. Look at me. Come on. Kiss me. I'm just doing the dishes. Come on. Listen. It's 9010 when you're the man. All right. You got 90 it. 90. You got to do 90. I got to do the. last 10. Wait. No. But I'm not What? What? Wait. Is it supposed to be like. Because it's a freaking episode, y'all. This is not supposed to be that hard. Okay. It's a scene in the movie. Okay. Okay. I the movie. Ready? Okay. Going to work.
Single mom who works two jobs. Yeah. You'd be fine with that for a millie. No. What? No. Both of y'all know. I'd be I'd be I'd be fine with that. Listen, I'm absolutely. not fine with her kissing another dude. No. But I'm kind of surprised you're not. fine with it. [Laughter]. Wait. Her kissing another dude? No. No. That's not happening. No, I. know. I was just saying like like if you. were just to ask me that question. She's like, "Yeah, I am fine with me." I.
thought you would say, "Yeah." Not. saying that that's right or wrong. I'm. just saying that's what I thought. But. just like this like like not even like. like like just like like that. You were. $1 million 10 million five mill. You can be you can do it and they can. just get a stunt double for the kiss. $700 million. I'll take your place. I'll kiss you for. the. Wait. How about this? How about this? Like I volunteer a volunteer tribute. How about it? How about it? How about. it? How about it? How about it? No. No. What are you saying? By the way, I'm back. I just want for the record,
I'm fully backing Kate. I'm not not. saying like I She should be fine with me. kissing another girl. I was just saying. that she'd be okay with it. How about that? How about that? How. about that though? How about that? Oh, yeah. Would you be fine with it if. it was a catch me outside girl? How about that? Question. Question. Oh, question. Second. question. Cash. It's a million dollars. This one's. more for you. I don't think she'll have. any objections. She might. How about that? You got to be that same. pec, but it's to a guy. Oh, me kissing a dude. Just.
It's not really a kiss. I feel like. y'all have to stop saying kiss. Okay. Okay. Well, even if it was a kiss, I'm I'm fully fine with that. cuz it's like a peck on It's a peck on. the lips. If you tell me I have to kiss kiss a. dude for 60 seconds, it's a million. dollars. I'm like, we're both going to. have to suffer through this. Like, it's. a million. I don't think you could. Listen, he has. accidentally kissed his guy friendss way. too many times. Actually, I would say that. I say that, but I don't think I could basically let. myself. for one video. We need We were like. making them accidentally kiss. I grabbed. their heads and was like pushing their. heads together.
Yeah. It was supposed to be me and. Michael Amaya. and and him and him and Michael could. not I mean we shot this video probably a. hundred times and every time they'd get. within a half inch of each other and. they both. see it's in your DNA, man. like we'd be. gay cohos and and then I'd see like. little beard where he hasn't he has like. beard and mustache where he hasn't. shaved recently and I was like ah. they'd literally be like okay we're both. we're doing it this time we are doing. this. a sunrise give me that thing. I have a grip on my phone.
we're going to take it away from you. again. I wouldn't do that though even. I wouldn't take her phone either she. No I'm talking about I'm talking about. kissing another guy. I couldn't I couldn't. I could pet but I couldn't I couldn't do. it for more than there's a lot of. reasons I wouldn't do it. How about. that? Yeah, that goes more into moral stuff. No, every day this girl This girl talks. to me, she says, "But kiss another woman besides my. wife." That's fine. Yeah. But yeah, y'all are ridiculous. No, I feel like it's such a little peck. that they wouldn't even like add it.
until like this is what you have to do. for this part. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Well, it also is just like if you were. a huge successful actor in you being in. this movie was going to absolutely make. this movie so much money and they needed. you and they couldn't accept anybody. else. You kind of have the power to say. I'm not doing that. Okay. Well, no, that's not what he was. saying. But what if what if the lady was. like 50 and it's supposed to be like my. mom.
and it's like some like weird scene. I. don't know what that would be, but like. or just like it's an old like grandma. like and I'm like you know like those. oh I'm saying like no. stop. I don't think this works in any. you guys know like in those other. countries where they kiss each other. they're like. or like. I haven't watched a movie where they do. what are you Tom Brady like kiss each. other no those other countries bro. you guys don't like you don't know are. y'all c cultured where they literally.
meet each other and they're Well, I. definitely am. I haven't seen that. They don't kiss on the lips. They literally go. They don't kiss. That's what I do to my. mom every night. They double kiss. We do night kiss on the side. Kiss on the side. It's like the side of your face. You're. like, "No, that's what I do with my mom every. night. Like, I'm not joking. Come on out. Come on out.". No, no, no. I'm not joking. I I do this. I do I do uh night mom. So, this is her. face. I go night night. Yeah, that's.
what I'm saying. Well, you're you're a mom and daughter. That's sweet. I mean, yeah, me and Cash. And we've been doing it since fourth. grade. No, we've been doing it since. fourth grade in New Hampshire. What if what if they did that? Like, I'm so. No, y'all just get done. Y'all just get done playing the game. And y'all like every night M comes to. mind and get Benjamin. I'm like, good. night. He's like, I can't go to bed yet. Bro, I. would never ever find a wife if that was. his. Like first night in, she's.
divorcing me. She's like, "Nope, he's. weird. I don't I didn't truly do that.". I really am convinced Kate wants to. sleep divorce me. You guys know what. that is? She going to sleep divorce you? You don't know what that is? No. Honestly, I don't blame him. I sleep. divorce him, too. Sleep divorce is when you sleep in. separate bedrooms because you can't. stand how the other one sleeps. Oh, I have never thought I. multiple reasons. One, sorry, sorry. I worded that wrong. I want to sleep divorce you. The amount. of times she smacks me in my bed. You. know, you guys like not divorce, it's.
just that's just a word for it. It's. called sleep divorce. Sleep divorce you. This man is a heater. He makes the bed. into a water bed. He'd be sweating the. whole time. She's a heater. She's literally. physically a heater in bed. I I. unplugged her last night. I legit. unplugged her. I grabbed her to snuggle. Unplugged. What did you say? She got unplugged. No, she got unplugged. from the wall. She literally had a. heating pad on and she's unplugged. That's a heater. You ever unplug someone before? You know the other problem with you?
You be drooling all over yourself. I do drool a lot. He's just like his pillow. Okay. You're acting like you wouldn't. want to go sleep in another bed if I. If I smacked you in the middle of the. night. and you smell. Imagine in the middle of the night you. just. listen. Would you No, but would you like maybe. possibly think about sleeping in another. bed if I was like. if you were physically hurting me? I. think I would have to. That's what I'm saying. She physically. hurts me. Listen. And she rolls over and she goes, "You pee in the bed and put a towel over. it." So like, "Y'all both bad." No. No. She pulls the covers off me first. She.
rolls this way, yanks the covers. Then. she comes back and she goes pop with her. hand. She hits me naked and afraid. And. then and then I'm afraid because I get. hit. It's just pop. Listen, I don't think you should want to. not sleep with me because I accidentally. smack you every once in a while. However, the headbutting is out of. control. Yeah, she has me too. She goes, I do feel bad about that. But just know. that it hurts me just as much as it. hurts you. This sounds like when you get a.
whooping. My mom My mom used to give me whoopins. No, it it literally does not hurt you as. much as it hurts me, right? I feel like you still get beat. No, no. When parents When parents say that, this is going to hurt me as much as it's. going to hurt you. How about then I do. the spanking part. Let me do that part. and then we can flip rolls here. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I I I I feel like, you know, Jesus, he took the punishment. for me. Maybe you could set an example, Dad. Like,
show me what Christ is like. She comes to whoop you. Mom, my sins are. forgiven. Yeah, Jesus forgave me and you can, too. I would not whoop my kid if they said, "How could you? My sins are forgiven.". I'm sorry. No, you can't beat me. You. can't beat me. Jesus forgave me of all. my sins. You want ice? You can't do that. I. I'm bathed in the blood of Christ. You.
can't You can't You can't beat me. You sound like a southern woman. Imagine your 5-year-old just says that. But I did this over the school. Jesus. forgave my sins. Dang, I guess you're right, man. Literally, you can't do anything. No, I did this over the railing at. school today. I did. Wait, hold on. I. did this. Wait, hold on. I don't know why, but I used to phone. flip over rails. I would take my phone. You know that trend? And it used to be. like it used to like you had to like.
hold onto your phone like this and then. you like you had to like sometimes like. catch it like that and stuff like. over like the grates. Yeah. Over all that and stuff. Terrifying. Also, by the way, I was not saying I would. like to divorce Kate. Okay. You like to. sleep. A lot of things you say do get twisted. No, I just Yes. I got I got. Especially in the shorts. The shorts. He's probably gonna cut it up. Our. shorts editor our shorts editor. literally calls me the other day and in. the episode.
You don't want to take that, do you? In the episode where they all purposely. made me mad and then I said, "Guys, that's like if I said you're bad at. dancing and I called you short." He just. he took the part out where they made me. mad and where I said that's like he just. cuts it straight to where he just cuts. it to where I go you're bad at dancing. you're short and I forgot what I said. about you and everybody in the comments. was like cash is unhinged and has lost. it. I was like no you got to watch the. full video. Okay. Yeah. Shout out to our shorts editor for.
just making him look like the worst. person ever. Yeah. Who's our shorts editor? Michael. It's my best friend. So I think that's. why. the one he tried to kiss. That's. probably why he's doing it. Yeah. It is the one I tried to kiss. And. I'm sure he won't include that story. You have kissed him actually. I I No, I never kissed him. You've never kissed that Michael? No, that but that Michael, stop saying. like that Michael. There are two Michaels. No, but I never kissed either Michael. Well, you've kissed Robert. Robert kissed me. There's a difference. When a body photo grabs you, you kissed. There's nothing you can do. You kissed Carson. That was for money. And who else did you kiss?
That was for We played. You guys know. the game of chicken where it's like I'm. not backing out of that. There's one more. I feel like guys. kissing each other is just like quite. not weird. But like girls kissing each. other's not bad. No, it's still weird. Yeah, it's still. weird. Guys just convince you it's not. weird cuz some guys like Yeah, it's. still pretty. like when girls kiss each other. Uh, no. Okay, moving on to next topic. Can you sit up, bro? Can someone in the comment section. please give his bare name? Ted. No, no, not Ted. Let's name him like Let's name him.
something classy. If you had another sport besides cheer, what would you do? Uh, volleyball. No, I've actually tried that and. you way too short for volleyball. Now. you put you gonna be on the bench. I. hate to tell you. No, but um trying to spike just But. I'm pretty sure you can run under the. net without ducking. No. Yeah, I have actually. No, but um. what's it called? If I was going to do. another sport, I would do softball. Oh, heck heck no. I'm sorry, but like I. would look lesbian. I feel like you could maybe do like.
gymnastics. Gymnastics. I would do gymnastics. But. I know what you could do. What? Pool vult. No, you couldn't do that. No. Little people wrestling. That's not a thing. I'm sorry. No, it is. No, it is. You could do tall people wrestling. No, it is. No, there's little people wrestling. Yeah. Don't tell me that cuz I'm going to do. it. No. Imagine you go you go to Little People. Wrestling, bro, and Harper's there. She. just comes out. She's like, I'm the tallest there. No, she has a cape on and it has like.
sponsored by Prime. I wish I had my phone. I wanted to look. up the name of the tiny wrestlers around. here. Oh, the wrestlers around here. What's their names? Their names are uh. Michael and Maya Maniac. No, it's Oh, what are their names? It was so funny. But you could join. them. You think? Cuz I could actually totally. like carry them. I think I think they'd allow you. actually. But it looks kind of hard. I was. watching Logan Paul in the wrestling. thing. That man looks like it was. hurting. Yeah. I'm not gonna lie. Obviously.
wrestling's fake. Like it's all planned, but the things they actually do are kind. of crazy. Like flying like jumping from. the top rope. You jumping from the top. rope, not onto the ring, but onto the. ground. That's like 10 ft. Did y'all see where he like basically. saved Randy Orton's life? No. Yeah. He like did, you know, you when. you jump on a thing and do a backflip. off, he was too far away, so he had to. catch him or he was going to break his. neck. I think I did see something like that. Really? Black, white, green, or blue.
Show off your natural flinger. If you're multicolored, that's cool, too. You can sing and dance. Did you find the the little people. names? No, I did not. Oh, man. They were really good. They may not even be hiring. So, no. No. They're always hiring, bro. I see. them on Tik Tok. No, I see them on. TikTok. They Please don't hit me. Oh, you don't even have it. Okay, that. was that was pretty good. No,
I see them on TikTok. They do like a. they're like roll call and there's. there's like 28, bro. They just keep. going down and it's insane how many. there are. There's a beetle there. Can you Can you shoot the camera? No. It's going to shatter with this. metal ball in the between. I think it's funny that you think your. aim's good. Yeah, there's no way you're going to hit. the camera, do it. O, bet that. That dad, you didn't even hit me. You didn't even.
hit Joe. It was close. It was close. That's all that matters, honestly. Wait. Black, white, Harper, if you could go back and not. I think she's. do that. She has Would you take that back if you. could? If I could go back in time. If you could go back and not get famous. right now, would you wait till after. high school? No. High school's. But I feel like it's hard being famous. at high school. Why you making out with. the bear? No one's paying you for that.
I'm glad I didn't get a million for. this. No, bro. Bro, that bear got a You got something. going on back there. Or got a full diaper. It does. I feel like I would have rather waited. till after high school. Wait for after No, it's just embarrassing in high school, but like everybody notices. Wait, what's embarrassing in high. school? Doing Tik Toks and like and then She's. saying doing the renegade in the hallway. is not cool. No. She's like, "It's embarrassing. I know. Cash Baker and everyone knows him.".
No. No, it's not that. It's It's like. like upper classman. They're like. They're like, "Yo, is that Harper's. Home? Harper's over. Harper's Over." And. I'm like, "Yes, that's my name. Hi." No. Um I'm like, "Hi, my name's Harper." And. my life it's kind of crazy. I feel like you need your own Disney. show. You do that so well every time. I'm Harper and my life is kind of crazy. Uh, no. But like I would like I don't. even know. It's just so annoying in the. hallways when people are like and I'm.
like, "Hi." Like what do I say to that? I'm like, "Hi.". Yeah. Cuz you know they're not like. being nice. Well, sometimes they're not being mean. Like sometimes people just like they're. just like. Yeah. No, most of them are trying to be mean. It's just like almost like it's Harper. Z. Oh, it's Harper Zmer. Yo, what's good. Harper? And they only call me by my. Harper Zmer. Not Harper. Not Harper. Only Harper's Elmer. Oh my gosh. It's. that little redhead girl that on Tik. Tok. Oh my gosh, it's that weird girl on. Tik Tok. Oh my gosh, it's Harper Summer. Like, shut up. Yeah, it's like.
period, sis. Yeah. Like, if you guys want to come on our. podcast, let us know. Yeah. Like, what would you do if we just got. everyone that's ever bullied you on our. podcast? And they're all like, "Harp's over.". Yeah. Harper's over. Harper's over. No, I I I would be so excited. Tell them to come to your live show. Yeah. No, but they're so rude. People at. school are so rude, but I don't care cuz. like I have some friends. It looks like it's bothering you. I. don't. I have some twins. Harper has a lot of friends, bro. She. acts like she doesn't have new friends. She has so many friends.
Every time I see her, she has a new. friend. She's. the key word is new friends because the. old ones were mean to her. No, I just I make like I make I make. friends good. Like I make friends in. like Costa Rica. and then they move. That's good. Costa Rica in Costa Rica. I met this. Australian girl and she was my best. friend. and her name was Izzy and we had. so much fun together. I had her email. address but I lost it. You got her email address? Yeah, but I lost it. And her her little. brother was so cute. I just remember I. was 9 years old. She was seven and we.
were best one Costa Rica trick. No. And every morning every morning we. would go catch tadpoles in the little. pond, get a little smoothie, hang out in. a hammock, and it was so much fun. So I. I I think her name was Izzy or something. like that. I think her name. That reminds me. What? So if you see this, please. somebody cut up all the times Harper has. brought up her Costa Rica trip. Reminds me I've never been to Costa. Rica, bro. I had. Costa Rica. Two friends I met on a cruise ship. Nobody asked.
facts. Moving on. So yeah, Costa Rica. What time is it? Two weeks. Now listen, I had two friends I met on a. cruise ship. Maverick never believe Matt. Look at M. time. I don't want to hear the story about. your fake friends. Don't call them that. That's literally. what I was going to bring up the story. I had two friends on a cruise ship that. I met and Mav never has believed me that. they were real. They weren't. And they were their names were Sam. Fischer and Ricky. That was their two. names.
Yeah. Sam, if there's a. Never heard anything sound more made up. in your life. If there was a Sam Fisher that went out. that I don't remember Ricky's last name, so that's pretty broad. But if there was. a Sam Fischer that went on a Carnival. cruise in 2015, hit me up. Maybe we can link up. Well, no. Yeah. No. Maybe. Well, maybe we can. like be friends. You want to slide with your wife right. there? No one's paying you. No, man. He doesn't care. We can be friends. again. Anyways, I told M like the next. day after we got off the boat. I'm like,
"Yeah, me.". Not off the boat. We were on the boat. So, for 3 days, you're telling me about. these people and every time we go to. find them, they don't exist. They never were they never were where. they were supposed to be magically. It's. cuz it's hard to find Sam Fisher and. Ricky because we didn't I didn't have. phone on the boat. Like I had no. connection. So like we just had to like. tell each other like kind of when we. wanted to meet up or just randomly see. each other on the boat. Like we had to. just pass by. But how do you explain? First of all got popcorn. Ricky was rich. Like rich like that was.
Ricky was Richie. No, it was Ricky and I said Ricky was. rich and you're like Ricky was rich. Really? No, you say I'm pretty sure it was. Richie. No, it was Ricky. Number one, I'm not rich. I make my own. money. No. Anyways, no one said you were rich. So, is Elon Musk rich? Said she's rich. Is Elon rich? Yeah. Wait, just cuz you make your own. money doesn't mean you're not rich. Even. if you did, like even if you're. Are you saying you're not daddy's money? Yeah, I'm not. I'm definitely not. My. dad. No, she's definitely daddy's money. I do not take my dad's money. My sister.
does, but I don't. Are you going to buy your first car? Who brought this shirt? Me. She actually does do her. Wait, are you going to buy your first. car or is your dad? My dad, obviously. No, I buy everything else. I bought. these weapons. I bought this shirt. I. bought my shoes. I buy everything. myself. You bought all these friendships in. here. Friendship tips. Friendship. Friendship. Friendship. I bought you. Yeah. Yeah. She pays us to be here. No. And I even bought all the. decorations in my room. Some are for my. birthday and stuff. So, yeah. And every morning I buy my own.
Starbucks. Well, mouth. If my friend Ricky wasn't. rich. I don't want to hear about anybody. He. doesn't exist. No. Listen. Then how do you explain the. overpriced candy I got from the candy. store? Ricky didn't Ricky again. Ricky bought it for me. again. He talked about this overpriced. candy, but no one ever saw it. I ate it. Okay. I don't know. I actually. ate the candy. He's like, I got all this candy in here. You wouldn't believe it. I bet you're. jealous. I got to try all of this. Ricky was so rich. He was like, "This is. my 10th cruise in like the last couple. years." And then we go to the candy. shop. And you guys know candy shops are.
insanely priced. And. take me to the candy shop. All right. Yeah, I was thinking that too. Ricky was. leading me. I was like, "Take me to the. candy shop." Breaking. Show me what you. got. Come on. Get that great card. Skittles and like treat me right. Honestly, this sounds like a really good. Netflix show. He takes me to the candy shop. Richie. Rich and he's like, "Guys," he's talking. to me and Sam Fcher. He's like, "Whatever you want. Like, do whatever. you guys want. Like, I have a credit.
card." And we're like, "Okay." And we. just keep getting it. But obviously, I. was raised right so I just got like a. little bit. And and then. Sam Fisher go crazy though. Sam Fisher went a little crazier than I. did. And I just got like a reasonable. amount and the total was like 80 bucks. at the candy store. He's just moves on. with his life. I was like that's pretty. crazy. But yeah, those are my two. friends I met. Well, never saw him again. Not real. No, they are real. Yeah. Well, guys, thank you so much for. watching this episode. Peace out, bro.
Shaka later. [Laughter]. [Music]. [Applause].
