I Need A Date Now!

we are so excited that we didn't like. each other anymore we're actually. strictly only in a relationship online. you why why hoco is coming up do you. have a date no no ain't no woman should. be ordering at Taco Bell that's a man. restaurant all my like fans have my. number. [Music]. all right let's let's just let's just. start off strong man are you still mad. at me about what about about last night. oh a little bit. no I'm not gonna lie I actually thought. about that in prayer this morning. I'm Legit I was legit like I got so.

angry he was he was very angry last. night. oh I think it's some of Harper's hair. what. it does look like Harper's hair Harvard. you should brush your hair more no no no. no last night we're on the way home. this was foul this was this was actually. I I feel like we're starting another. podcast off talking about farts bro but. like oh gosh no you don't understand I. hate I hate to do this but.

this was I literally just farted in the. car like a normal human does from time. to time. everyone jumped out of the car and ran. away and walked home I can't smell. walked home I can't smell very often. and like casual fart all the time and. everyone gets up and runs away and I'm. like I can't even spell it. this one had me gagging I had to put the. car in park and jump out of the car yeah. we did well because it was so bad. it was so bad jumped out and ran so like. I was in the car alone so I jumped out.

and ran with them and that's what made. him mad and he was like we're like a. block from the house and he was like. drive my car to the house and I was like. no y'all I want to beat you guys the car. was contaminated the car's not safe. anymore you know what's worse map is he. just kept continuing it all night oh I. did R.I.P dude I held her under the. covers. like I was like actually no I literally. was bro I was Furious but he was mad but.

are you still mad at me no I forgive you. he prayed about it yeah I forgive you oh. you know what but so don't do it again. don't act like that again don't act like. a fool yeah I'm not gonna lie it was it. was on a Next Level. I don't think anybody has ever smelled. anything like that before Oh no a lot of. things like a lot of things. like speaking of fumes. um. okay no no it's a great way to describe. it yeah no no no oh can you sorry yeah.

can you set that down no So speaking of. fumes yesterday I was in the car and I. um took off my shoes oh girl. so let's just say uh. let's just say what Harper. uh my sorry uh so my friend my friend. had to get out of the car I think she. has bad Wi-Fi. are you disconnecting right now. no my friend had to get out of the car.

because it smells so bad and my mom. started crying in the car because my. feet smelled so bad dude. oh. that was not real that did not just. happen that is oh. oh don't look at me like that. um are you trying to. um avoid how did you mean can you do. that again how did you been no no it's. okay I don't need to smell your feet I.

don't get on my level no but my mom I. had I had a flexible problem to be fair. it was my fault but I just kind of lied. to everyone my feet smelled so so bad. and everyone thought I just had a. oh. smelly why don't you do something yeah. there you go. no oh I'm I don't want to hit the mic. how did you move like Harper why does. your phone always ring I I was calling. you really uh fans. what do you mean I'm not joking all all. my like fans have my number what do you.

mean fans like people you go to school. with that are fans or like you're number. like real fans like I think somebody. like sold my number I hope they got the. bag at least I bet they did honestly. your number for a certain amount of. money. for a check do you hit me if you want. Harper's number you want Cash's number. okay that's okay that's okay yeah that's. what I thought whichever one of Harper's. Shady friends sold her phone number. listen yes this is business okay people. don't normally like businessmen okay but.

no you're lame for selling Harper's. number that's shady it's rude she. entrusted you with a part of her life. and you give it away like that I mean. and you probably sort of like 20 you. don't even know how to do business I. think they sold it for 300 but I whoa. wait how'd you get the numbers. so I'm sorry oh God okay somebody told. me who wait do you know who sold me do. you know who sold your phone number no. but uh I I wish but I still don't know. and I'm trying to find that out but I. went through I hope you find it out.

sometime yeah so how many times do you. get a lot like 300 a day like no way I'm. not joking dude you gotta get a new. number I know but I I I don't memorize. that well it's a good password yeah what. was it oh wait no no. no. something what no don't say no okay okay. okay okay no so. um as you all know I'm in school and no.

way oh wait I was gonna ask how's that. going I think you just moved I know I'm. joking there's a ghost there's a ghost I. did not move the thing at all but I just. saw that move. wait what about school oh. um yeah I really hate it. um that's all I really have to say yeah. that's why I dropped out so you've been. in school for about like what a month. now is there any have you gotten in a. fight with like any of your friends yet. is there any drama or no like. surprisingly not like I get like I get. in the worst drama uh but like and you.

haven't gotten any since no no I haven't. and I like do you think it's because. people like you though because of tick. tock and they don't want to be for The. Tick Tock girls. like I mean like I I really try to stay. humble at school and and then they're. like there's like around when you're not. at school yeah. why don't you go to school I'm humble. but when I'm not when I'm at school no. she's not guess what she told me earlier. her she said nevermind should I say it. wait what I don't know what she said she.

was like I was like well do you like. getting noticed in public by like fans. and she's like yeah like I tried to I. love it I love it like literally if. y'all are scared to like you know like. if any fans are scared to you know like. come up to me and say hi I don't care. Harper lingers in the eyes. yeah you see me right like I'm Harper. yeah no no I'm not like I don't like. like rude like that but I'm like yeah. like if you want to come if you know who. I am and you want to talk to me I'll sit. here for a couple more seconds to give. you yes yes that's what I do.

that's funny but but yeah school is fun. um but there's like always this one. group and they always come up to me. they're Harper zomer oh my gosh like. when I'm going to the restroom like. Harper's Homer like as a joke not like. not they're like oh my gosh it's the. Harper's armor I'm like that's fun like. okay like really like. oh wait you didn't mean it was actually. fun no it's not funny okay. it's like a form of bullying yes but I I.

can't snitch on them well I mean it's. kind of weird to snitch I mean like. snitchy you're definitely a snitch I am. not here today I can just look at you. and I know you're a snitch especially on. your sister you definitely okay yeah. maybe on my sister but nobody else like. literally I get so scared okay okay say. you went to prison and they're like if. you tell us who else was involved you. get out for free would you snitch yeah. yeah but like that's like a life.

sentence thing will you stop twiddling. on your little guitar. what it's very distracting yeah. you guys are just mad you don't know how. to play one oh that's okay can you like. rock that chaos as you can back and. forth on that horsey like how fast not. really because my butt's hanging off the. back. go as fast as you can okay. um. so. um uh so yeah where did you get that.

horse from Facebook Market the lady. he was scared to meet me she said I said. can I pick it up she said yeah but I'm. not gonna meet you I was like uh and. then how do you want me to get it and. she goes I'm gonna set it on the. she sets it on the porch and. shuts her door and she's like you can. come now and I was like what okay and I. just walked up and grab it yeah it was. 20 under her mat oh wow that's funny. that's kind of weird I'm going to pick. up another chair tomorrow or tonight. actually and wish that I can just have.

it for free. Facebook make sure you're still infested. with something yeah I I mean from the. smell that I'm getting over here I I. don't even smell it is maybe it's your. feet everything about this what no. um. um okay so let's change the topic so. like I was like thinking. um do you guys do anything like together. anymore like y'all go on dates oh yeah. no we are so excited that we didn't like. each other anymore so I sleep upstairs.

and he sleeps downstairs yeah we're. we're actually strictly. um only in a relationship online oh oh. it's fake so it's for the no it's real. we're in a real relationship ship right. now but as soon as the cameras go off. we're not in a relationship anymore oh. whoa oh this is news to me. oh gosh never mind okay probably flowers. you got your friend flowers. Everyone likes to say I'm not romantic. cash you don't care about people's. feelings well yes I said that you're not.

sensitive enough. about flowers. if you ask me that's the most sensitive. thing someone can do so wow. she gave them to me in front of everyone. and he was like no I actually. oh I'm gonna be real oh. did you pick them but. did you make them someone gave you the. flowers and you re-gifted no no oh I. bought the flowers and I I didn't want. to give them in front of everyone.

because that was like that's just weird. no so I put them under the truck. um under the truck seat oh oh I thought. and then I purposely gave them to you. behind the truck when no one is looking. and then Kate comes out and she's like. cats give me flowers. cute well we had they were gonna see him. anyways because we were like switching. cars so I had to carry my flowers it's. weird about holding flowers as a dude. and being like Oh my gosh no the. sweetest story I'm exposing him the. sweetest thing was one time he was. driving so when the boys were moving.

from California to Dallas yeah cash how. to drive his car I don't remember this. yeah. on the side of New Mexico and he like. picked sunflowers but he said that they. were super because sunflowers are like. pretty thick and they're hard to pick so. he had to like cut it with his key but. his key wasn't work anyways he put them. on his Dash in the car because he still. had like a good 48 hours before he'd see. me because he was driving from LA to. Texas and he came to me and it was like.

two in the morning and I was sleeping in. his parents living room waiting for him. to get home and he comes to me with the. saddest droopiest looking sunflowers and. he was like I got you flowers out of New. Mexico I was like when were you in New. Mexico and he's like two days ago and I. drove through it and I was like oh oh. okay all I had to say I picked flowers. but dude are the hardest flowers to pick. because they grow from the Sun see he. wants to hide them no all flowers I said. they grow from the Sun like what do you.

even me I'm gonna go back into school no. sunflowers first of all. why they're called sunflowers I think. they follow the sun yeah they follow the. sun yeah they grow from the Sun so they. grow stronger because they follow the. sun yeah you ever seen a sunflower. that's made it all the way to the sun. listen a flower that's not pointing. towards the Sun is going to grow less. strong than a flower that's constantly. pointing towards the Sun. huh uh so I don't know I think he just. has to do with photosynthesis don't pick. sunflowers and you realize I had to use. my key as a knife.

it's hard you can't just pick them up. out of the ground oh yeah one time he. did that he brought he picked normal. flowers and he brought him to me like. off the side of the road and. um they had bugs in them but I never. told that's the other thing about. sunflowers they got a lot of bugs oh by. the time he gave those ones to me the. bugs were all dead but this night he. gave them to me and the bugs were like. curling all over my desk got you a. little extra gifts no. um so hoco is coming up homecoming if. y'all don't know what hoco is um but you. know so do you have a date no are you.

gonna get a date I wish what about. Harrison oh no he has a girlfriend oh my. gosh oh no his girlfriend's really nice. though oh and she's really nice and. she's really pretty but. oh. but um what do you miss him or something. no no. I don't oh my God are you happy for them. no oh yeah. but no so basically I have to tell you. something so if y'all go to my school. y'all know who it is I'm not gonna say.

my like school on here obviously but. y'all go to my school. um ask me to hoco because I want a mom. and I want a uh sign you want a date. yeah. um everyone doesn't know what a mum is I. was gonna say moms are so weird bro it's. a Texas name literally I lived across. the border in Oklahoma I never knew what. a mom was never heard across the border. and everybody's like you want my mom. moms are mad. okay in high school in Texas high. schools there's these things called mums.

I don't even know how to describe them I. describe it it's like a first place. ribbon but bigger massive it's like the. size. imagine you won first place and like. what's like a ribbon type of competition. uh like a dog show a dog imagine you. want first place in like the ultimate. dog show and the ribbon's this tall and. the ribbon and that's something you wear. it across your chest all day and so the. girl does the guy makes them the guy. makes them for the girl and then the. girl extra heavy and then the girl makes. him like one that it's a lot smaller but. it like goes on his arm yeah it's a cute.

thing yeah but still like um like I have. to buy one off Amazon because when we do. cheer we have to have a mom aren't you. supposed to make them yeah lazy bones oh. come again. um Amazon oh no I'm not buying one off. of Amazon I'm buying like uh. I'm buying like a shoulder thingy for it. like so it doesn't weigh down my. shoulders you know that's how heavy. I don't know what a mum is look up a.

picture especially because freshmen have. like the smallest ones. oh we're having a podcast sorry so. awesome that was embarrassing do you. want me to go crack that in half or are. you just gonna no but I was thinking one. day we could get a fake one and I could. not tell one of you I give you. permission to crack in half if he keeps. using it what and wait is that yours. that's yours I literally just but I give. you permission no that's Maverick's. ukulele oh then I definitely give you. permission.

I think he's actually trying okay oh. do you know the song I know. yes I was making them about I wish I was. on a podcast with smart people oh oh. shoot no shall we look at the IQ test. scores to go to hoco do they have to ask. you out like a date type thing yeah. or like I want one that says like I.

don't know oh stop touching it I gotta. lift it up right now no stop being. you're so like crazy today no this is to. this thing bro we talked about this what. are you talking about. it again I'm adjusting it he has an. actual issue you're a little bad at it. too oh but he has an actual issue bro. I'm listening to the podcast and I hear. and Matt touches his mic go back to the. other that's not true Matt touches his. mic like every 10 seconds.

exactly every 10 seconds is this. [Music]. I literally just told everyone to stop. touching their mice. oh my gosh. okay okay no the thing is when you touch. the mic. he's missing so hard. stop compressing your mic checks. I don't know what I went through bro. what did we go through actually specific. I got this phone chain and it is.

crazy yeah yeah. usually wear the kind of all over the. place but today y'all are crazy yeah. well everyone just keeps interrupting me. they don't want to okay everyone. somebody bust out and singing let me do. it for a sec. when you touch the mics like this is are. you paying him to stop singing. um I actually got this from my friends I. can't talk for a sec. you're talking about the mic so no one.

cares about them nobody cares listen. um. because last time in all the episodes. someone's talking waiting to get that. five dollars gosh. and then the other person is touching. the mic and the camera angle switch to. the other person and the other person's. just like this. middle so so don't do it for me do it.

for Joe in the editors because they're. the ones that have to fix the whole. thing sorry exactly like that no and I. listen if y'all listen to the last. episode you just here. throughout the podcast because of this. guy 80 him 15 you five percent him zero. percent me oh you're so perfect. oh shoot oh no you know actually. today. um it said just got called sir how's. your day going because I was at an. airport and I looked rough okay you know.

how many times I get called ma'am. through the drive-through yeah I'd be on. the phone way too often with tech. support forward man they always told me. okay I've never been called Sir in a. drive-through oh really can you do your. best like female impression like how do. you order when you're in a drive-through. yeah why would I I'm not doing a female. impression when I'm in the drive I'm a. Starbucks lady hi um welcome to. Starbucks what can I get you today. ah. okay I'll try but mav's way better at. these than me would you do yours first. yeah okay no okay.

I can also do Siri. no okay sure do Siri and then do a girl. Okay I lied I can't do Siri. okay wait wait but can we pretend that I. do Siri and I make it I make a short of. it and we just add series voice over it. oh that's a good idea that'd be a good. short wait hey Siri.

what's the weather oh my gosh wait the. TV's going off oh shoot oh never sorry. what why cannot Sirius sorry it's the. weather outside no uh a girl voice um. yeah. Hi how are you is it possible that I can. take your order down right now if not. then that's okay wait stay all the time. I'm close to my eyes I'm trying to. imagine. um I just want to read the freaking book. and I can't read it anymore she's five. three I can't I just blonde hair I'm I.

don't know what to do cash I'm just. frustrated I wanna I wanna see your. fingers I don't want to do this anymore. it's over. it's over cash it's over oh this is. getting personal we're done quit go home. what the heck are you talking about. brought back way too many flashbacks. it's your turn try to act like yeah talk. like a girl dude all I can do is South. Park that's it okay but.

hi oh give me a sentence um we are. ordering at Taco Bell. first of all ain't no woman should be. ordering at Taco Bell I'm sorry that's. that's a man restaurant if a girl says. if a girl says I eat Taco Bell. immediately no they said. if I like picked up a girl on a date and. I was like where do you want to go she's. like Wingstop Wingstop wing stop and. Taco Bell get out of my car the same. thing I don't feel like a guy should be. like let's go to Starbucks like oh.

that's weird yeah yeah okay well maybe. not starbies coffee can I get a extra. latte with two pumps of vanilla and you. just sell yeah you just sound like a. yeah. yeah you can you're trying too hard I. need better friends just talk normal. friends Harper do your best like guy. impression you're ordering at Wingstop. okay um because only men go to Wingstop. apparently I'm trying to think of my. little sister okay okay.

um wait okay ready. um hey yo can I wait hold on I'm trying. to go really low really low. oh gosh okay like a grandpa voice maybe. it's just like a guy that's not above. the age of 60. okay okay okay okay so 60. or below oh hey man yeah uh or yeah hey. man uh can I just have uh some oh what. are they called uh some some wings or.

with uh some barbecue sauce. that's exactly how I order it every time. yeah I asked for barbecue sauce. impression yeah. okay oh all right I'll do cash I'll do. cash. money. this is cash when he's half asleep and. he rolls over and he's realized that you.

know the sheet not the comforter but the. sheet he realized that the Sheet's no. longer there because he threw it off the. bed. oh where's my shida.

she doesn't look like it's there because. it's attached to the to the thing you. know no yeah. and he gets really grumpy if his sheet. is missing out like every night and. every night I calm down I know it's here. I know it's gonna be all right I'm gonna. take it away one night and just hide it. so that you don't know where it is do. you guys have a baby blanket yes.

so me and my friends this last weekend. we were talking about our baby blankets. and mine is an actual baby blanket. that's been loved on and everyone makes. fun of me for it what does yours look. like does it look like a blanket still. no what does it look like like all. raggedy and like why do they all look. like like because I spit on it and there. was like you okay what like not now yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a. baby actually.

um that might be a little something yeah. that's definitely something but Lainey. said it looked like a cat coughed it up. yeah it does pretty close yeah one time. um the lady who cleaned her house threw. my baby blanket away oh so I cried I was. in like Elementary School though and I. cried for like days and my mom had to go. buy me a new one oh because it looked. I've done that to two blankets I still. sleep with mine you still sleep with. yours yeah did you have fun with Laney I. had so much Fashion Week it was so much. fun guys I went to New York this last.

week also that is the second year in a. row I have flown out of New York on 9 11. and it's like an eerie feeling yeah like. it doesn't feel normal like it's like. The Vibes are off today yeah because. it's like literally New York and it's. flying out I know that's crazy I would. never do that like I mean I didn't like. pick two I just booked a flight and I. was like oh oh it's online I mean like I. mean like statistically the odds twice. would be crazy that is true no but like. I I feel like I'm never mind like I feel. like that would make it a Target you.

know yeah like the fact that like. everyone knows that 911 is like a day. that everyone more when I asked you. about Fashion Week this is not where I. thought this would go yeah I don't know. yeah. I feel like I don't stress and let me. tell you why so we were going to a. fashion show right and we walk up and. the girl's like what's your name and I'm. like Oh my name is Kate Baker and she's. looking and she's like I don't see your. name and I was like oh like I have the. email here I can show you and so I was.

like she was like looking for my name. and stuff and I would not a thought is. going through my head I don't know. that's per usual yeah there's nothing. going on up there she's like I can't. find your name and I'm just like. and my friend Brooke she was like. rubbing my back because she was like oh. she's stressing so hard like I feel so. bad for her I wasn't thinking about. anything oh like I just started singing. and so I was like I'm not stressed at. all because like I knew it would all. work out yeah like my name wasn't on the.

list but I still got in dude this is the. most uncomfortable chair I've said in. yet oh my gosh my butt cheeks prints are. into it I'm not even crazy that is crazy. do you see that it's double cheeked up. that is wild yeah it wasn't built like. that. that is crazy I gotta sit on this thing. sideways or something ma'am bro can you. drop the ukulele yeah drop the ukulele. oh. thank you no but y'all ever have that.

feeling oh. um but okay um you might just have to. sit on the ground bud or maybe you can. get your other chair that's over there. oh it's okay it's okay what one the the. toilet I'll be all right don't don't. worry about me guys oh okay um we won't. worry um anyways no so you know that one. feeling when like you're about to cry. and then somebody asks you are you okay. and then I'm like man why are you doing. that what. make the microphone go to me oh oh.

you're getting better. you're not you just said okay so okay. I'm sorry tell your story okay it's okay. so so it's basically. um I what was I talking about again when. you cry oh yeah what so when I'm like. about to cry and somebody asks hey are. you okay like can I give you a hug I'm. like no like I hate when people give me. hugs when I cry. does it just make you cry more no it. makes me mad no hugs hugs are the one of. the weirdest things I think we've. normalized really yeah it's like a hug.

but. why are we hugging people think about it. you see a person. any age any gender any human to you and. you hug them like. this is great this is real great. to show your appreciation love it's not. like no. well like if you don't want to hug I'm. just gonna say it I mean I've never. hugged you I'm not gonna say his name. wait y'all have never hugged before. y'all need a hug right now now who's. never hugged me you do guys hug right.

now I know I've never hugged mouth in my. life I don't think I've ever hugged him. unless it was like maybe ironically oh. so now you agree me hugs are weird no. well with you y'all need to hold each. other no you said it's for appreciation. instead of someone you love him how are. y'all 22 and 20 years old and y'all have. never hugged each other because why what. situation first off. the only time a hug you happen is when. you see someone again we never separated. no way okay wait wait wait wait 22 and.

23 you wide what you said he was 36. and. you believe it what is it yes. you thought he was 36 this whole time yo. y'all literally were like yo literally. were like. um yeah yeah he's 36. he's practically a. man now. [Applause].

that's wait how old are you 14 yeah you. could you're saying you think he could. literally be your dad uh yeah. what uh uh yeah make it make sense. because I'm confused that's crazy wait. how do you think I am 20 now now how. much. did I tell you I was because I forgot I.

thought you were like 19. oh I just had a birthday since then. that's it oh how old am I do you think. 17 18. you think I got married at 17. no. you're 19 you're 19. I saw that Tick. Tock she's 18. no but literally cash. waited for her to be legal he double. checked the birth certificate I am. you're 18. swear I'm 19. she's 19 and. you're 20. we got married I got her. birthday dude I don't remember people. birthdays what's my birthday right now. do you know oh my gosh.

you don't know your wife's birthday bro. you don't know my wife's birthday. um. say it. is it May no what an idiot I know yeah. it's you you didn't know it's June I. knew it was June it's the same month as. our wedding June 27th. yes let me get a shot here I'm gonna say. June 23rd June 19th June 23rd oh that's.

right if you were closer. our anniversary is June 25th yeah she. just said your anniversary I know I. didn't say the anniversary oh I don't. think so you said when you got married I. said it was the same week but I know it. was two days after she turned 18. yeah I. should have knew you were 19 then yeah. like what did you think I just turned 18. yeah no but like the only reason I. thought that you you were younger is. because like you're sitting on a pony. and you know like you're just like it. does make sense yeah well what well like. if you were sitting on a pony then I.

would think you were like. five-year-old.

oh I'm gonna deflate. no. I'm leaving no I wonder if the mic got. that I just literally I just I just read. that this is human to ever walk the. planet I wonder what's insane I wonder. if the kid the mic got that uh I wonder. if it did too oh. oh okay y'all the ones that said I was.

inflated you know what they say if it's. inflated eventually it's gonna be. deflated nobody says that no one's. everything but you know it's true uh no. listen I mean my heart is inflated like. you know how our heart pumps. you don't think your heart goes to do. feel it right here yeah but it's a. muscle I don't know that you feel like. it's inflating I think it's. inflated for a second I don't think.

inflation would require air yeah and our. hearts bro your heart is pumping air you. know that right oh my God that's why. dude if you get air in your heart that's. why you're that's why your blood is blue. oh oh my gosh no because there's oxygen. in your blood no it's just oxygen oh my. gosh. what are y'all talking about I dude I. hate bro laugh at me when I know I'm. right if I injected air into you you'd. die. why the why would I die you die I'm not. gonna blow up I'm not going out like. that I just know that and when I'm dying.

it's not gonna be oh they put air in me. yeah it could be you see when we breathe. in Air comes in and goes out. what is she talking about no no no no no. like our our heart pumps blood and that. then that goes through our veins and. then when we start bleeding for instance. how I did today where'd it go you were. bleeding yeah I think she's just wanting. attention no no no you see that a little. bit.

yeah so yeah the scratch and no it was. gushing blood and and I put the blood. right there okay well anyways yeah hey. Kate I had a question that I thought you. could help me with huh okay can you get. back okay just went off camera and set. my back. I don't know if she should be on camera. for this one uh actually you don't have. to be on camera for this one apparently. I mean I don't know if you should. oh now okay this is an a of B. conversation okay so see your way out of. here wait quickly real quick stop I want.

to ask. the two people in our audience if you. put air in your heart do you die. that's one one are you what they both. said yeah you said yes oh yeah two. people's really not that many to ask but. anyways what were you gonna say that. required me not to be here mute mute can. we just mute your mind for a second okay. admit it okay all right so my mic still. works. listen I'm just trying to figure out. like if I I'm here bro if I were you can. always talk to me to have a girlfriend.

yes and I was thinking about this. situation how and I thought I just. thought I'd talk to you I don't know if. you have experience in this uh oh hey. when you think of experience of anything. think of me okay okay when you think how. would you tell your girlfriend she's. getting fat. oh I've been here oh I thought you had. I've been here before so. um I would say you look like a pig. like. seriously like that would get her that. would give her some motivation to you.

know. um yeah yeah let's go what is on your. hand. what is that. what is that brown flaky stuff what is. that listen oh. but you made me feel insecure. you gotta show the camera in your hand. no I'm not showing the camera.

yes I wonder where that's from. listen bro I floated a river and it. dried out my hands like insane so now my. hands are just dried out that's all it. is it's dry skin okay don't always like. no I never had dry skin yeah but that's. crazy though. see how dry it is oh no show the other. hand that you high-fived me with let me. see it first one. um it is like Bruce this hand is a. little worse let's see it. oh come on you guys pause or slow down.

the video no literally can we go back to. oh yeah we went to two seconds ago where. cash that he's had experience and having. to tell his girlfriend he's fat oh yeah. that I don't know about did you say that. I don't remember saying that let me run. back the episode. no we never said yes y'all did no what. the heck so that's a good question. though Kate cash how would you tell your. girlfriend if she was getting fat I. actually got a device on this before you. look like a pig oh that's what someone. told you to say someone told me I said. that's crazy.

that's what I would say that's what I. wish that's the advice you got if I if. if I thought that but I don't think that. oh you don't think that okay that's good. what do I look like an elephant no I'm. sorry I'm sorry oh my gosh. there's no animal I can tell you you. look like that's. good really a caterpillar oh that. eventually turns into a butterfly oh so. one day wow. [Laughter].

that's what my dad always told me he. said you know how a toad turns into a. tadpole what I said one day you'll learn. how to swim you said that so backwards. have you not learned to swim yet the. whole analogy yeah. sinks Like a Rock when he swims man's. man's negative boy I try to hold my. breath too to float like I still think. oh wait I stop picking yourself. oh my god I've actually stopped see hey. is your arm look grosser than my hand no.

this is normal yeah you can't pick. yourself that's bad wait I know who's. gonna be the guest who Brooke monk what. no. wait we haven't we've had guests coming. on and we're not telling her who any of. the guests are and actually trying to. guess all of them wait did you just read. it did we ever say it yeah wait why. Brooke monk because so she posted a take. talk of her arms because she picks them. like I do and what the heck did that. have to do. why do you keep pointing that at me like. it's a weapon no so I looked at my arms. and it reminded me of broke monk so why.

would she be coming on our podcast. you're more than welcome yeah come on. bring it please no but who would you. who's your dream guest to have on my. dream guest. um probably that catch Baker no no uh. I'm trying to think like uh TV shows. movies like he was like real like not. Taylor Swift I feel like that she's so. like no she's really great music but.

she's like is that really famous like no. like not like really famous but like I'm. thinking like. Ariana Grande I love Ariana Grande crazy. bro Ariana Grande is my like not my idol. because God's my idol but like she's. like literally my idol like number two. Idol like. I literally love God first Ariana Grande. no but she's like oh my gosh like I've. been uh like my her biggest fan since I. was um you like her better than like. Taylor Swift uh-huh way better bro I.

love love her love her like literally. love her maybe even more than my sister. well I love a lot of more people than my. sister but like. I apologize to Reese right now. race you're not mean well you should. Harper's never hugged me so I get where. you're coming hug please. no I was gonna bring it up at the right. time and I hung it that'd be so weird on. camera no please just like hug real. quick this hug you've ever seen and. we'll be out of frame and it's like oh.

yes the frame don't even go that way no. it does just Joe does the frame go that. high I don't wanna yeah but no no I. think he might be wrong please please. please please please please wait let's. harmonize and say please so please. there you go okay that's enough. um. wait guys no be so romantic but uh maybe. like a little romance on the cheek what.

like how it is. Germany well do you guys know how to hug. each other. Harper and I can show you yeah. no it's okay we don't need to we know. what a hug look y'all are gonna y'all. don't know what a hugs. it's been 20 years. I'll be the bigger man. get off your Pony oh. oh oh. no. listen oh gosh okay okay oh shoot.

oh. yeah. oh. I just realized oh. okay okay. [Applause].

oh yeah like he does when he swims yeah. no okay so that was their first home. that was their first hug and it was so. cute. no I I could tell cash really wanted hug. um Maverick but um stop obviously oh. that was so yucky. and. yeah I just saw spit come out of your. mouth and fly back in Harper any more. guys. besides Harrison.

oh my gosh everyone wants to see what's. your love life is there a love life yeah. you don't need a love like I do no. you're too young for that no no I'm. literally oh no trust him he tried and. he went through so many girlfriends and. it just failed and failed again it. failed again yeah. 37 and single. I still can't believe I believe that. like I literally thought he was 36. oh. wait but I did talk to this one guy I. don't want to say his name because like. give him his name you gave Harrison stop.

giving code name she's not good on those. okay his name will be Matthew yeah uh. well there's a guy in my school named. Matthew. um okay well Jacob there's a guy in my. school name okay. know it get his name to this door all. right Ethan oh my gosh there's five. million guys names their kid Ethan bro. what okay. that is such a popular name yeah fine. Nathaniel ain't nobody. oh yeah. oh my gosh well so Nathaniel and me were.

talking and then I think you should say. it you're on me never mind oh uh well. actually I'm gonna name him okay what. about like who wrote the story threesome. tree stump Street okay yeah so help me. stop stop stop. um. two seconds long okay so stomp.

um we were talking and then I got the. ick from him like he was like like oh I. know what you mean like. um that's not what I meant like me and. my friends. me and my friends were talking I never. got the ick from you in case you're. wondering. you said you did win yeah when I do my. walk okay because y'all she said she can. see it when I do this. oh.

that is an egg yeah she did say that oh. hi my friend and I were talking about. how we used to get the ick with guys. before like getting the ick was a thing. like you know like they're getting the. egg like saying ick was like I think it. came within the last like year and a. half yeah anyways why did you get the. ick from him oh yeah so I got the ache. from him because like. he had really long nails. you did say that's one of your icks oh.

yeah nobody in here has long nails like. that that's good oh except for like. girls like having like long nails as. girls is good I asked Mom yesterday. because I would like to guys I took him. sorry I don't mean I'm not gonna count I. got long nails yeah let me see no like. his were like. oh no yours aren't as long his were like. oh that's weird as a guy yeah sorry I. said I said I stopped talking to him and. then and then I started talking to him. again because I was like oh well maybe I. should just talk to him to have a hoco. date and then like stop after and then.

that's so cool and then and then so we. talked again and then I stopped oh my. gosh she couldn't make it to hoco. how did you call it off with him or did. you just ghost him. um well I told Sophie to tell him to. like be like I was like I was like. Sophie just tell him I don't want to. talk to him anymore. uh no he was like oh well why. LOL yeah I was like uh oh bro's heart. was shattered yeah he was thinking about. us I've been there why yeah just kidding.

yeah you get it I'm waiting for what's. like the shadiest thing you've ever done. to like a guy you were talking to like. did you ever like ghost him completely. or. um so I don't really talk to any guys. but no I'm kidding no like I um probably. oh oh oh oh oh oh oh okay so there's. this kid we're gonna name him um George. that was way quicker yeah because. there's no Georges out there yeah so. we're gonna I saw George Washington but. so we're gonna name him George and he um.

he is this really really small Smalls. very small okay there's a lot coming. from you no no no like very smart and. Stumpy yeah he's Stumpy oh stump. oh yeah stop no but. um what's it called um. George George he was litter just break.

your chair dude I think I almost pulled. the head off. okay so basically yeah so he's really. short and he's so the first the first. time he asked me I was in sixth grade. and I was like oh so I have a a. boyfriend in um Georgia his name is. Justin and he was like oh Justin the um. wait is I I don't think I can say that. no so like Justin like the um. um let's just say not very educated kid. yeah and um he was like he I'm not.

either but so he was like he was like. yeah um oh yeah Justin that um not. educated kid and then I was like I was. like oh no no not him the guy in Georgia. and he was like oh okay so the next the. next year he sung a song to me he sang a. song to me that's Superman did anybody. know what's going on I know I'm so. caught up to speed no no no she was like. and he was like and she was like and he. was no okay okay let me keep saying so. next the next year he asked me out again. but he sang a song to me and this song.

he was like we should have been so good. together no and then in front of the. whole entire class oh I got a video and. then we all had ISS for the next like oh. we got school because he's saying. because we videos. where are you like ISS and then she gave. you in a classroom and they don't let. you go to your class and you don't go to. lunch and you don't do anything you just. sit in a classroom all day yeah cause. you got in trouble I would do ISO. out of school suspension oh that's like.

when you get kicked out of school that's. IO way more huh that's i-o-s-o-s. oh wait I did not mean wait so after. after y'all got ISS what happened then. he gave me a rose and I still have the. rose in my closet and uh but like I. don't like him it was just like funny. not funny it was nice and then then in. eighth grade he still had a little bit. of a crush on me so then he did a. backflip um on the stage like show off. oh my gosh was he like that is the thing. to do did it work no God does that all.

the time so I'm just curious he did the. backflip and he and he fell on his nose. and he he did that too. that was that a prom and he wanted to be. cool and show off in front of this girl. and he did. in general. and he broke both of his feet I didn't. multiple back at the same time but first. he actually broke him he went boom there. was a series. but no I didn't cry at all did you walk.

off like oh nope oh what I walked off. like it was fine dude shut up you always. try to make yourself sound so cool I. literally drove home on two broken feet. I was fine I acted very fine then the. next day I didn't even tell Mom and Dad. for two days. yeah what were you hiding it yeah oh my. gosh wow wow that's gonna make noise or. something oh this is the second time. I've had a ground Cape from her phone. bro. okay well oh oh my gosh now all of my. stuff is gonna be put on blast.

what do you mean what type of stuff. what stuff like. like your email. my mom. anyways oh I couldn't have been good oh. that was bad that's not bad for the TV. no um what was I gonna say you were. talking about like the shadiest thing. you've ever done like did you ever ghost. a guy or oh well yeah that's like oh. yeah to um George I just like I just. ghosted him yeah. okay I'll tell you I'll tell you my.

Shady thing this is I feel really bad. about this so as everybody and their. mother knows cash and I liked each other. for years and years and years except. apparently it wasn't very mutual because. cash refused to date me but um. so yeah actually I was playing hard to. get we're gonna we're gonna talk about. it for three years which works. here come to the conclusion last night. last night we came to the conclusion if. a guy just ignores a girl. he falls in love with her she falls in. love with him if a guy just straight up.

ignores her she likes him more yeah. that's I never had more girls like me. until I decided I'm not dating yeah it's. a blessed and a curse man and then all. of a sudden everyone Everyone likes me. I'm like guys no no that was very. humbling I'm not dating wait hold on I. say the story Kate so when cash and I. were in like Middle School remember I. had like my middle school boyfriend and. then like cash and I cuddled all night. one time and I was like yeah that was a. messy story you can watch like the first. or second episode where I talk about.

that anyways so after me and that. boyfriend break up I'm like hey cash. like what's good and so we kind of. talked for a little bit right then two. weeks away from getting my braces I'm. pumped I'm like cash has never seen me. without braces like I'm so excited for. this a couple days before he like ghosts. me no more like literally did not talk. to me he left me on deliver forever and. for like six months he did not talk to. me. and so. that's just rude moved on not really I. thought about him like every second of.

every day and it was really embarrassing. oh and so finally one day we start. texting again I don't think he was. thinking about you yeah I know he was. yeah anyways so so uh the shadiest thing. I ever did though was once after that. six month period of cash just not. talking to me and then we like started. talking like on and off like at least. once a month Cal should be like oh we. gotta stop talking we can't do this and. I'm like yeah and then like we'd talk. two days later yeah why are you sleeping. sorry I'm just trying to get my butt. cheeks a rest oh okay oh wow so anyways. anytime cash would be all like. oh like we gotta stop talking I was like.

okay I'm heartbroken I gotta get over it. so I would like go add the there was. like like probably like two or three. guys that I would just kind of text to. make myself feel better and the second. that cash started talking to me again I. cut them off like that and so I felt. really bad though good idea no it wasn't. I feel bad because I think one of them. like really liked me and this one time I. was really upset because cash had called. me and he was like Hey I'm gonna be in. Dallas tomorrow you want to hang out and. I'm like absolutely you know I will. literally any any day anytime anywhere. oh my gosh I know where you're going.

with this I'll say it because I'm way. faster oh. she hung out with a guy I don't know she. talks really fast she hung out with a. guy the night before she hung out with. me and never told me but I also hung out. with a girl the night before I hung out. with her and never told her. I told the story last time no we did. this twice gosh oh so yeah but this guy. I I like I felt bad because I was up. super upset because I was waiting for. cash to text she did the worst thing a. girl can do when a guy goes to hang out. with a girl you know you know what she.

did what'd she do she talked about me. the whole time oh I did I was one of. those girls and so I was like crying and. I was like he said he was gonna come. hang out with me today and I'm just I. would leave so fast and he and he. literally just like listened to me rant. and then oh my God to make it even worse. I'm like literally mid breakdown and. cash says hey I'm gonna come pick you up. you ready and I'm like yeah and all of a. sudden I'm like better like that and. this guy he's like texting me and he's. like oh my gosh like are you okay I hope. you're doing better or whatever I. ghosted him for the rest of the night. because cash is calling to pick me up. and for like the next six hours this.

dude was just like oh my gosh everyone. looks so bored. what. what he was like no I was interested in. your story she's just been talking so. long and the two people. in the audience for so days. it just went on foreign.

but you're always asking if it's 57 and. we gotta shoot two episodes wait. I forgot to bring a change of clothes. it's okay you can borrow something from. my closet or I can borrow something like. from hellara I love hilara. I do uh oh wait but I've been trying to. get my that was not sponsored by the way. I've been trying to get my legs totally.

not sponsored I've been trying to get my. legs super toned. yeah you've been hitting the gym yeah. look. wow that is a calf muscle I do see I do. see some stuff there is like a little. alien in there or something. it's like wild looking yeah you want Roy. yeah E.T in there you take a test or. something. yeah maybe that's not a lot is Yoda an. alien I don't know. okay.

um so yeah Yoda's uh an alien you got. the gains yeah all right guys I guess. we're gonna go ahead and end this. episode here make sure you guys watch. the thing that's about to play yes sir. and enter our contest we'll see you. later peace peace out bro. I did you made out peace out bro we're. gonna get a t-shirt that says peace out. bro shock yeah I wanna chakra like a. little circle and then like in the. wiggly words peace out bro Shaka. Whoever has the most viewed video using.

a clip from this podcast on Tick Tock or. YouTube shorts we're gonna be personally. FaceTiming post as many times as you. want but make sure to tag the podcast. and use the LOL podcast in the title. slash description good luck and we hope. you win.