How We Met The Chicago Murderers!

the next morning I wake up and I check. Twitter there was two men that were like. on the run from Chicago for murder for. shooting and yeah and they match they. match the description perfectly like. when I fart nobody says anything about. it but the teacher like called me over. and I was like yes and she was like hey. you're going to have to get a medical. note if you keep doing this or as to go. to the restroom yeah she asked me to get. a medical note bro she would have sent. me to the ER by now I was like I was. like she would have been like go what's. up guys welcome to another episode of.

the LOL podcast that's so weird I don't. want to do that let's go that's not a. thing let's. go if you hit your wife and I went and. said hey cash hits his wife that's not. me talking bad about you no that's like. you speaking truth yeah right you're. saying like I did something. bad first of all why. that not like anything else sorry oh my. gosh like just first thing that came to. my you know like like when he smashed. all my plates on the dining room floor. or like when Kate hit me I hit you I get.

hit I did not hit you hey she hit me. tell me about she turning down to fourth. grade drama what is going on why she hit. you bud why did she hit me yeah bro. because I fart and it's a condition no. I'm being so for real right now I went. to a doctor my God no I'm about to have. to go to a doctor but I don't want to. because in reality I'm like spend money. to stop farting less no y'all listen. listen why no let me say it let me say. it I'm like what did I do okay I started.

counting my farts yeah and I was like. cuz it's getting out of hand so you're. just like you're just like the other day. you're like that's one yeah no and I. noticed it was getting out of hand when. you told me something I said bro the. worst thing about an airplane is when. you got to hold all your farts in and. your stomach's hurting at the end and M. goes that's not normal he was like what. do you mean it's a three-hour fight what. do you got to fart like once and I was. like no I got to fart like 12 times on. the plane and he's like dude that's not. normal you should get that checked out.

you took that literal oh I took that to. heart and so I started counting my. farts and I get up every day I don't. count the exact amount cuz after like 20. or 30 I stopped counting but every day I. get up to like 20 joking not joking I. get up to like 20 30s maybe even mid-30s. and I'm like this is out of hand like. I'll walk in somewhere and I'm like wow. I farted like if I walked in somewhere. for like 30 minutes I'd be like dude I. farted seven times in there that's. actually not normal and Kate tell me to.

get a checked out I'm getting a phone. call should I answer it who is it it was. Brooklyn uh no probably not that's one. of his that's one of his drama girls. she's in Japan she can only call me for. like an hour Brooklyn's not drama I'm. kidding it was a joke obviously. Brooklyn's not drama well the thing. about faring the thing about farting is. I don't know I don't even know which. Brooklyn he's talking about listen no. yeah listen no I'm kidding but like the. thing about farting is in my Ela class I. also have a condition where like y I. thought the only one I swear I always.

fart I knew I smell. something that was probably you walking. in the room no but like I swear I um my. okay so my Ela teacher she's um can you. explain to me what that is yeah I was. about to ask this English language arts. yeah English language arts and sometimes. reading Mom it's fine okay she's not no. no woman's going to watch this or like. obviously won't you know like no woman's. going to watch you think we only only. guys watch no I mean like not somebody.

older than 60 okay Harper please tell me. about your paring problem in basically. um um oh sorry sorry I also have a. burping problem but um we're just not. all right this is the second time. anyways so his little chair gets me that. he's sitting in a little chair I'm sorry. but why does it have like a second thing. he he might break it anyways so I um in. ela my teacher I was farting the whole. class and she said Harbor meet me after. class and I was like okay do you like.

fart out loud like it makes noises yeah. it's a joke know and people start. laughing and like cuz I'm known for that. oh I'm not known for farting but like. I'm known for being like I'm known for. that too let's go party buddies no but. like I was um usually like when I fart. nobody says anything about it but the. teacher like called me over and I was. like yes and she was like hey you're. going to have to get a medical note if. you keep doing this or as to go to the. restroom yeah she asked me to get a. medical note bro she would Sent Me to. the ER by now I was like I was like she.

would been like go 911 no but also the. thing is I was like I was like you know. like I I can't really help was laughing. at that I was like I can't help my. bodily. functions thank you he say that every. day oh my gosh I see that every day of. my life that exact somebody smell. something in the room everyone looks at. me and goes. [Applause]. cash I'm like yo yo don't ask y do that.

to and more as no reason to hate what. the other day we're at the doctor cash. gets an X-ray of his back this is crazy. this this proved my condition no so we. were at the chiropractor not a. gastrologist we're at a chiropractor and. we're looking at the X you know the. chiropractor is yeah a guy who I had I. had got an x-ray the day before and. we're comparing them and cash has got. this big like Circle looking thing right. on his wrist I was worried for a second. it wasn't on mine and we were like what. is that and right before we were about.

to ask it doctor goes now I know yall. are probably wondering what this circle. is that's just uh pretty much everybody. has like a gas bubble he goes that's. just like the gas bubble that everybody. has but yours is just significantly. larger than the average person yeah he. actually said that and I was like so you. think I got a condition too cuz this is. not normal my xray like mine was not. there that's three scenarios map telling. me the airplane thing is not normal the. chiropractor telling me my x-ray is not. normal because of my fart bubble and. everyone telling me it's not normal when.

I fart that much oh who do you even see. about that the weird thing is like how. how do farts smell like how do they. smell like it's just like air coming out. of your butt like I don't understand how. it smells like I I understand like you. poop but like that doesn't smell after. you wipe you know yo well if you do wipe. I mean no. but no some people don't like no no no. everyone I mean everyone wa a.

second Harper do you do you just picking. shoes on days you want to wipe. sometimes what do you mean I don't poop. a lot I I do not poop a lot I care if. you poop a lot did you do it even one. time because that's to many let me let. me tell you let me tell you so I um. basically some days I don't like for. this is like what I'm saying it's like. watching a car crash it's like it's like. it's like you want to look away but you.

can't like I want to stop listening I. want to tell you to stop talking but I. can't well I'm not going to stop no so. basically I I go days without pooping. and days without peeing and then it all. comes out that's the opposite of her she. say she poops three times a day okay it. stops but like I'm not going your wife. let's hear more about your wife's poop. schedule no I'm not joking I'm not. joking probably like a month ago and I. was like we I don't know why it must. have been something I was eating I. literally was pooping three times a day. back to not wiping oh uh anyways um we.

don't have to talk about that anymore. but like I um I was like I don't know so. I also ate this one brownie is a fiber. brownie that'll do it yeah that will do. it f it's in the school vending machine. who has a fiber brownie in the school. vending machine like that's offensive to. some people like like who wait a fiber. Brown like that's offensive because. because they're like you need to get all. your poop out in the next 3 days I'm. like well I got all mine out in the next. hour so I don't understand like it's. harer do you poop in school bathrooms no.

okay yeah I do actually I mean I mean I. can't be lying on this like somebody's. going to find out so somebody's going to. walk what's the difference between a. brownie and a fiber brownie F makes one. has fiber no yeah one is a brownie and. one has fiber but fiber makes you let. all yeah it like literally just clears. you out oh actually yes sir no you know. what this makes me think of when cash. and Maverick were living in La cash. didn't cook and he was trying to eat at. home so he would get these frozen meals. hold up I feel bad this is the act I do.

I genuinely feel bad for this never live. with roommates this is the actual no. never live with Five Guys yeah this is a. horrible story man so they're cooking. and I remember dating cash and he was. telling me he was getting sick every day. and he didn't tell me he was getting. sick so I didn't know but like it wasn't. like out of the Norm Norm cuz like I. fart a lot so now I was just pooping a. lot I'm sorry bud and I was like bro why. am I pooping so much and not only am I. pooping so much I am sick can I tell the.

story and all right you tell yeah so. every day cash was on the same schedule. he'd come down and he'd get his pasta. frozen pasta I was playing video games a. lot he play video games a so he would. come down he get his frozen pasta thing. out of the fridge like those packet. meals yeah Frozen and then he'd put it. in the oven or microwave or whatever and. it would take a couple minutes six. minutes while he did that he would go. upstairs every day he'd go upstairs cuz. he would run down in between games stick. it in there go back so you got to Sprint. yeah he's on a loading screen so he's. got to get back up there before the game.

start I don't want to drop in you know. like so we I would be like oh I'll take. his food out for him so I'd take his. food out and me and Michael decided to. start putting laxative in his food every. day every single day every day for like. two weeks and it after we didn't realize. anything was happening we just started. putting a lot started ping lative in my. Bo like I mean it was at one point we. were putting like this whole water. bottle of laxative in this food every. day I was literally eating a bottle. laxative a day and I was horribly sick.

but I wasn't whining about it like I'm. I'm I going to go to my guy roommates be. like bro I'm so sick can you hold me. like and dude I'm so so sick and every. day that I went oh and we also uh. Michael would make his protein shake. every day he would make one for him and. one for cash and so we also put it in. Cash's protein shake out so I was. getting two two extra extra extra doses. of laid a day and after the first week I. kid you not when I say we were putting a. lot of laxative in there we were putting. so much how big is the bottle well we.

went through multiple bottles yeah no. but how how big is like a bottle uh it. was like it was I can't remember if it. was a bottle or a bag I can't remember. it's a it's a bottle it's but it was. like it had these Scoops and we would do. like multiple Scoops it's like a bloom. nutrition container yeah and we would do. like multiple Scoops in your thing yeah. yeah and so moral the story I was. horribly sick all because of sabotage. moral of the story is living with men is. terrible it is terrible funny let me. tell you my theory of gaming I know.

we're talking like a bunch of like. conspiracy theories but I think if you. like game so much like your face is. going to get so pale because you don't. get any um yeah that's what I'm no I'm. kidding so basically what I'm thinking. is you know some Gamers they just sit in. their chair all day watching playing. their game they don't go outside don't. get any vitamin D which is going to make. your face very pale from um artificial. screen light okay and then your eyes are. going to get blood shot from staring at.

a screen which that happens like to some. people because like you can't like stare. at a screen for so long you know and. then you're going to get terrible. posture because like what if you have. good posture well you can't have good. posture. long no but like CAU us all out and then. and then you're going to get like super. like I don't know like you're you're. just going to have bad posture so your. stomach's going to go out and then. you're going to eat and then wait so. what's the theory the theory is you're. going to look terrible when you game too. much so so don't be gaming for too long.

so Harper does not like Gamers that's. what we learned just like she doesn't. like nerd guys apparently yeah or if you. if you game too much then I won't let. you pick me up off of my scooter so yeah. go go check go check out the last. podcast for that story but um yeah. that's just I feel like gaming like I'm. not I don't really game like I like I. don't really know it's just do you play. like games on your phone though like our. friend Paige every day games on your. phone every day paig gets on her phone. no Paige is like I got to feed my animal. and like PA's like 20 years old like a.

grown woman and she gets on her phone. every single day to animal so normal to. me when guys play video games but when a. 20y when a 20-year-old girl gets on. Clash of Clans I'm like she doesn't play. Clash yeah she does she has her Village. okay let's I'm going to be real though. it's kind of like a really attractive. thing yo what yeah like when a girl's. like oh I'm plat on apex I'm like yo M. what are flat like that's really good. for a girl wait I guess M's in that if. you if Kate ever started trying to play.

Apex with me I would be like get off my. Xbox right now what you're telling me if. your girl was good at Apex your level or. better you wouldn't enjoy that she's. better at me that's even worse no it's a. video game she gave even better that at. sports than me but a video game is okay. oh my gosh y'all are so and also it's. like video games is like the bro time. you know what I mean me yeah but like if. she can carry me to to Masters this. explains cuz all M's girlfriends played. video games with us all of them we'd get.

on be like yo what's up dudes what's up. all right we're going to go into battle. yeah a bunch of dudes drinking Mountain. Dew going into war and then we would. hear Hey guys M's gone so uh so I'm. going to play for now and then switch. parties switch party chat okay I I've. been really obsessed with this one game. okay so I used to be obsessed with it. when I was really little but like do you. ever go back to those games when you. were little and be like oh I missed that. and then you start playing it and get. addicted so anyways I play Pap Feria.

Mario Kart oh my gosh but anybody play. restaurant City on Facebook I wish I. could find that game you played. restaurant City there's no way you. played restaurant City there's no way. that game was popular when I was 12. Cooking. Fever uh I don't know what you're. talking about never mind never mind okay. it looked like restaurant City anyways. um um what so you just named a game that. had food in it called the restaurant. City well there's but okay anyways some. kid like I love Minecraft and he's like. played it in the you mean Legos you play.

Legos no but the thing is I love Animal. Jam it's like really weird it's a really. weird game but I like get diamonds and I. actually just bought a house today and. it makes me feel so accomplished Harper. Harper w a homeowner do you play episode. no oh my gosh that's not a play not a. game my mom let not a game you play. that's the lowest IQ thing I've ever. seen any human everybody used to get in. third grade and I was like but why I I. wish I could have it no I literally it. sucks because you try to play episode.

and it's like it's like you're going out. on a date with the guy you've been. dreaming of for years and it's like okay. do you want to wear the super cute. outfit or you want to go out looking. homeless but if you want the super cute. outfit you have to pay money like real. life money for it so then you did you. buy it or you have to do premium well my. mom was smart no no my mom was smart and. didn't hook her credit card up to my to. like my phone and stuff so I could never. buy it bro that's the biggest most. important thing when you have a kid. especially like 10 years old I've seen. kids spend thousands without their. parents do not hook up your credit card. to your kids I like it says purchase not.

allowed on mine even me like I know if I. had access to a credit card on my phone. when I was playing Clash of Clans back. in the day my bill would be maxed out. bro I'd be buying all the bill I know I. would have racked up a bill on episode. for my mom that's just embarrassing. because if you guys don't know episode. is it's so stupid it's like it's like a. TV show and you just have to click you. get to pick what happens the store do. you want to go out on a date or reject. him yeah H let's go out on a date but. but no but no you don't ever get it the. fun option because it's like hey $5.99.

if you want to go out on a date yeah. they scam so hard oh my gosh episode I. wonder how much money they made off that. episode has to be balling so hard right. now because of that like the next thing. is like if you don't go on a DAT with it. it's like do want to go on a DAT with a. tree or a dog and it's like so weird it. sucks like it makes you feel so bad. about yourself I know I mean if your. options are between a tree and a dog. that's pretty sad no but that is like so. accurate what it's so accurate like. episode will be like that's accurate. when have you ever been like well guess. I'm going to have to date my.

dog how is that accurate no listen da. the dog I chose the tree will be like. you want to go on a date with this super. cute guy or no you can't you can't pay. $5.99 to go on a date so you say no and. then it's like do you want to sit at. home and wallow and self fitty or you. want to like do this other thing you. want to know the most Riz thing we were. talking about Riz do that in real life. be like walk up hey do you want to go. out a day with me if still that. $5.99 if not if not I'll see you later. cash he did that when he was charging. girls to dance with him whoa whoa whoa.

whoa whoa that sounds really bad. charging girls to dance with me that's. not he's been he been dancing since. that's not what it sounds like that's. exactly what it is you take you took. advantage I was like eight I say I got. taken advantage of no he was like 10 or. 11 eight. okay I don't maybe 10 or let tell the. story he was like in fifth fourth grade. that makes so like nine or 10 okay so I. guess you might be right so like he was. like n years old right he goes to the.

dance whatever the dance and I already. knew how to dance a little bit but not. very much but a little bit yeah he goes. to the scho more than anyone else he. goes to school dance at 9: him and my. sister I was jealous I couldn't go I was. only in like I don't know kindergarten. first grade I don't know right mhm my. dad and my mom give him like $10 $5. whatever right and he goes to the dance. and he comes back my parents pick him up. and he comes back with more money than. they gave him and they were like what. what did you not use your money and how. did you get more like I know you didn't. invest it in this short amount of time.

he like and he goes he didn't say. anything my sister tattled on and he was. like my sister acted all mad and she was. mad cuz I I didn't dance with her very. much yeah and our sister was like he's. charging girls to dance with him and my. dad just starts laughing and my mom is. my mom is not happy she was about MAV. charging girls to dance I pretty much. took money from other 9-year-olds which. he like he like charged a dollar for. them to like girls would like want to. dance with him he charged they came up. to me they said hey will you dance with.

my friend I said I said no they said. I'll give you $5 I said bet you were. literally playing episode in real. life yeah you were you were literally. like those girls were watching that's. why they PA you you were the guy that we. that all the girls wanted to dance with. but they couldn't unless they paid for. it and then they go home and their mom. and dad's you're like where where did. your $5 go and you're like oh I danced. with M you want know what's sad about. that story. a sad but it had a happy ending for me.

you know I got paid in the end not for. all these other girls that had paid no. you don't understand what I went through. that night okay what did you go through. first off a breakup yes are you sure. about that listen I I said there was. this girl her name was uh Natalie I said. I said she's a beautiful girl I said you. want to go to dance with me she said I'd. love to go to the dance know I I liked. Natalie too oh wait I got to back up. before I asked her to the dance my. parents made me call her dad and ask him.

and I was like N 9 years old I was like. imagine you get a phone call from a 9y-. old Hey sir can I take your dog to to. dance so yeah so I call her dad and it's. awkward you know and he's like obviously. nice he's like yeah sure whatever and um. so I go pick this girl up I I dress all. fancy and I had to pay with my own money. to get her into that dance at 9 so I I. did and this is burnt in my memory at.

$8 okay I paid $8 that's lowkey. expensive for ayear old right so I paid. eight bucks to get this girl into this. thing there goes Grandma's birthday. money guess what guess what I take two. steps into the door she takes off she's. gone didn't see her the rest of the. night she used you as soon as we walked. in the door she disappeared a I went. Maverick did you like want to cry I went. what and she was gone it all makes sense. now his character she used you to get in. the dance and that's why you you were. using that girl just to dance with so.

then I end up seeing my sister there and. we we we dance and uh cuz we we danced a. little bit growing up and. then everyone saw that I could dance. they're like oh Maverick can dance now. all of a sudden they want me now now. they want me no one no one wanted him no. one wanted Maverick before they saw him. dance then they start coming up and. asking dance and I'm like no you didn't. want me that and then they offered me. money I was like yeah I'm kind of down. right now so I could use the gas I going. to make my money back hey so maybe you.

just broke even maybe you weren't really. scamming um no I definitely made money. cuz I spent a lot too after they paid me. I started buying other girls concession. food go was I had money now did you go. to a dance yeah I did it was $20 oh. inflation bro they're raising those. prices okay also she lives in Dallas. Texas y'all lived in the middle of. nowhere yeah there was only 50 kids in. my grade the funny thing is also. inflation the whole grade not my class. 50 kids in the whole grade no so I took.

um you know those three guys that we. were talking about did you go out did. you go with a guy wait you took three. guys no no I didn't I didn't no no I'm. talking about a different that's more. than I took three guys to the dance but. no um I took so we were all on our scars. the three guys that I was talking about. in last podcast and they were all like. can you buy me food and at Wendy's at. Wendy's so they they y you look like. Wendy why don't you okay anyway. in the world.

was forgive me that was like a slap. across the face for no reason I didn't. know no one like Wy you don't deserve. that you deserve better you like. baconators come again no but I bought. them and they were like they were like. yeah can you like can can will you pay. for our food and I was like yeah they're. probably just going to get like fries. and stuff they started buying the whole. entire menu yeah guys do that the bill. the bill ended up being I think $50 for. all of. I asked my mom to pay me back they're.

like hey D Harper the next day they just. ghosted me I was like are you joking. wait you for I mean that sounds about. right do you have um like a debit card. or something. wow that I was like you know that's a. sad story but you know that happens to. me way too often okay stop buying girls. food if you're not dating them there's. no need for that yeah both of y'all for. don't buy people food if you're not with. them I'm like do you not have food at. home like. what's going on Harper I would be so mad.

I W I'm still mad to this day I'm like. wait you the fact that they ghosted you. after that too that's so shady they said. they would pay me back too and I still. see them they never if anybody ever says. that they never if I see them in person. ever again I will tell them I'll say. y'all owe Harper $50 for that for that. Wendy's from Wendy's and they also. called me Wendy's too is that why you. got mad when I said Wendy's yes it bring. it BR me flashbacks. I is gross dog like that's a like of all. the restaurants why would you say listen. have you ever been Wendy's bathroom oh.

even just their Lobby I start slipping. all over the place yeah like oil just. everywhere like random fast food. bathrooms like always. slippery grease in the floors that's. when you know not to eat there sometimes. you walk into fast food restaurants and. the common area is slippery you're fing. around y I got got ice skate over to the. counter I got something to tell y'all so. this makes me I haven't I I really. haven't eaten at this restaurant since I. heard this um so water Burg don't tell. me I like water bger don't tell me the.

story you already know the story so. waterburger my brother used to work. there when he was 16 oh this is a funny. story he's got a lot of we should have. him on just to talk about his waterb. stor no listen my brother worked at. Water Burger when he's 16 right pretty. much like two weeks after he quits. working. waterburger uh they got security footage. because this this homeless lady had went. into the women's I don't even know if. she was homeless she might have just. been vibing no homeless hom had gone. into the had gone into the wom like. women's restroom opened up the tile. ceiling and was living on top of the. Water Burger above above the kitchen.

like no not the attic it was just yeah. and so then then she falls through the. ceiling barely misses the stove barely. misses a worker it was like Rush shower. she barely missed the dude it was those. hug stoves they're flipping burgers in. the video or something and she just. Falls she falls through and like the. security camera footage got leaked. because someone no but nobody's ever. like it's not viral it's not viral but. it should be should be going to see if I. can get it and put throw it up on the.

screen if we get that video it's going. to go viral so funny but it's like I. literally was like imagine like like. someone's living on top of water burger. while they're flipping like all these. underpaid like 16-year-olds are just. barely getting by and like. some imagine you're in the Drive-Thru. line waiting waiting on your food like. it's taking forever and sorry a lady. fell through our. ceiling and [ __ ] already how. high are you right now there no one fell.

through the ceiling no Water Burger. already takes an excruciating like. amount of time to get your food I can't. imagine being in the drive-through line. in that day when I said this joke before. but I'm pretty sure you have to fail a. drug test to work at waterburger no. that's it Tak years water I'm like I. want some water Burger I pull in the. parking lot I see one car through the. drive-thru in front of me I'm like n I'm. good you literally don't have time like. it doesn't matter if there's one car or. like 15 cars like you are guaranted to. be in that drive line at least 45.

minutes 45 minutes is the minimum and I. don't understand how they do it because. Chick-fil-A is like a minimum of 45. seconds yeah literally they and there. their will be around the drive around. their building and around waterburger. and and they win yeah no like. waterburger and it I don't understand. because it didn't used to be like this. like it it it started happening when I. was like H lady felt yeah I guess the. homeless lady falling through the. ceiling which is the downall of water B. the funny thing is every time me and my. mom go to waterb. um it okay so there's this one worker.

and he um he's okay so I he like Foams. of the mouth what yo he Foams like white. I'm not going to make any jokes wait I'm. confused what do you mean he Foams he. Foams out of his mouth and like gets it. on her fries oh I know a guy like that. he gets it on the fries oh so he's just. spitting on your fries that's no he has. rabies I think. like I don't think he think got no I. knew a guy like that too like no like no. I'm not now that I'm thinking about it.

the spit would just collect in his mouth. no it's like white and phony and it. literally like he was like guaranteed to. spit every four words it was like I'm. like he's I'm like okay no mine is like. one word but like he's really sweet. every single word there's a launch of. spit that hit the prize I'm like hey. he's like and he's like what else can I. get you I'm like all of it's already. here and he's like oh well and I was. like um I feel so bad for him though. because he's like just trying to get by. but he spitting in everyone's food spitt. everywhere know my worst fast food. experience I pretty much have stopped.

eating fast I'm not going to lie tell. the story and then we're going to have. to end the pot cuz we're already at like. 35 minutes do you know what the story is. I I assume you're telling the taco about. story oh the murderers with the. murderers oh stop uh which one are we. legally allowed to talk about that yeah. yeah we are okay I'll I'll tell that one. I'll tell that I was going to say the. original one but I'll tell this one so. me and Kate and her brother so Me Kate. and her brother named Michael are like.

let's go to Taco Bell and this is the. day that Kate gets her license I I was. freshly 16 just got my driver's license. she just got her license that day and. we're like all right let's go to Taco. Bell it's like 1:00 a.m. I'm whipping. we're like hey Kate you drive just got. your license let's go we go to Taco Bell. pull in the Drive-Thru everything's. normal we pull out of the drive-thru get. our food and somehow the guys in front. of us pulled out like the same time so. they got their food we got our food and. we're going down the street and it's. like it's a street it's it's like it's. like a 40 mph speed limit maybe so we're.

going like 40 mph they roll down their. window and they got their hand out like. this Taco with the burrito in there I. was driving my brother was in passenger. Castle a very weird situation like what. do you do there and you know those 1:00. a.m. Taco Bell runs and you're just your. head's leaned against the window you're. in the back seat and you're just looking. like this right and you're just sad and. then suddenly a guy's handing you a. burrito and you're just sad because it's. 1:00 a.m. and you should be in bed and. you got to wake up the next morning and. I'm just eating my nacho fries and I a. burrito Float by me and I was like hey.

yo and God God is that you yeah and I. was like it's a burrito and they were. like oh do you want it I was like I mean. I'm full but I'll take it so I roll on. the window and our our hands are like. meeting I grabbed the burrito we're. going like 50 m an hour down the road. was it was like an angelical moment like. it was it was beautiful yeah it was. great everything worked perfectly. perfect handoff we have this burrito and. I was like guys I'm actually fool do you. guys want it Kate and Michael are like. no we don't want it and I was like. okay uh I guess we'll hand it back to.

him so we're going like 40 m hour again. we pull up beside them now my hand's out. of the. car back they probably think I did. something to it and and we can't get. close enough cuz Kate's trying to get us. close that guy who's driving that car I. know Kate was freaking out oh yeah she. just got a license and Kate's like guys. and I might get closer we're on a windy. road so I was constantly having to like. turn and then turn and then turn because. it was just like turns and we can't get. close enough and our hands are like I'm. talking like maybe 8 n Ines a foot.

probably a foot our our hands are like a. foot apart M and for some reason I just. thought oh I'll just toss him the. burrito but I forget we're going like 40. m hour and I toss him the burrito and it. goes boom right in this man's face and. his splatters all in his car and just. all over his face it was like and it was. like a nice like new Ford Fusion like. they're like R burrito everywhere. exploded yeah burrito exploded prob 20. years old and they get mad obviously cuz.

I mean from their POV I was it like. a it was like those chimy chongas bro it. was so it was stuff like like a lot yeah. you know that song that I went for the. Chim Chim Chong Chim Chim Chim CH and. then the burrito F the burrito flew out. of my hand just like that but I threw it. it didn't fly I threw it out guys think. that Cas thought they thought they. handed me a taco did a nice deed and in. return I was like hey. no I want this taco and I threw it back.

at him right so they they took offense. to that because you threw a taco at. honestly I see why they were mad I I get. it I would be mad too if I handed. someone to Taco and they threw it in my. face in return and so they're like. yelling out us they're like pull over. right now they're like cussing us out. and and they get behind us stressing. Kate's freaking out and they get behind. us and they start following us and so. I'm like well I can't go home now yeah. like we were almost to our house and. like well we can't pull how long they. follow you literally like they were not. stopping I drove around for like. probably like 10 15 minutes and they.

were still following me so I was like. okay they were ready to get you no we. literally drove around we made like. freaking eight right-and turns bro. you're going pay for this Taco you not. letting up and we were like dude it's. cuz it's just me Michael and Kate two. guys like we don't know how many people. are in this car there could be six. people in there yeah Michael I was like. Michael bro there could be six guys in. here and there's two of us and three we. like dang what am I. and Michael was like oh dude what do we. do what do we do and I was like dude I.

don't know we're going to run out of gas. eventually we just keep going in a. circle and he was like you know what my. friend's at a house party right now cuz. they were in like high school at the. time he's like my friend's at a house. party and he's like I'll call them and. we'll roll up to the house party and. have all the guys come outside yeah just. in case there's like six of them smart. move yeah so we roll up to the house. party and all Michael's buddy like. freaking like I don't know the whole. football team comes out there was like. nine guys that come out they're they. were pretty beefy too yeah dude one of. them was like six five bro beefy I was.

like all right we chill now now I'm. confident cuz I'm like if we get in a. fight I don't even got to fight I I just. manage the fight I'll be like you get. him you get him and I'll be like the. announcer even though I be like Joe. Rogan over there I will be got he's out. he's out and like if my gu cop be that b. s another one in there're they're all. inside the house and so I'm chilling. they get out and they were surprisingly. confident too and I was like oh no is. there six of them and they but only two. of them hop out and I was likeo and. luckily they were they were very small.

guys and I was like all right all right. we're chilling but they're very. confident too they're like yelling at me. they're like no you're forgetting there. was a cop that pulled up on us that's. after so they get mad they come out. they're yelling at us blah blah blah and. like the huge guy that was like 65 300. lb he was like all right everyone calm. down calm down blah blah blah and. they're like you do a talk about me I. was like I understand what it like. that's what it appears to be from your. perspective but I just this guy still.

has like lettuce in his hair like I just. handed it to you you just missed when. took it you know and he was like look at. the inside of our card and wow I did not. know a burrito could make that big of a. mess it was like everywhere it and he. was like I just bought this car two. months ago and I was like oh that's not. good maybe you should get a refund but. um burrito sauce everywhere lettuce. cheese all over the car and like all. right just clean our car and we'll call. it good now call it good what did he.

want I'll say that part but I was like. he was like clean our car and we'll call. it good and I was like dude I'm not. about to be caught cleaning another. man's car like dude no way I'm not I'm. not your I'm I'm like no no way I'm. about to do this but I forgot to mention. this part when I threw the Taco at him. he retaliated in like half a second and. thre his Taco he was eating back at me. so he was Taco he was EA taco hit he in. reaction he threw his Taco at me and it.

kind of got in our car a little bit not. near what it got in his car but it got. in our car and it got all over the side. of our car and I was like fine but if. we're going to clean your car you got to. clean our car and he's like he's like. yeah and I'm like yeah so we each pull. out our Windex you know and we start. going up we we are cleaning each other's. cars and we're each like yeah we got him. good he's clean my car I'm cleaning his. car and actually I I was like Kate can. you clean his car cuz I can't I can't do. that man and and I was just like Kate.

was cleaning it when he walked over and. he's like he was like why is she. cleaning it he was mad that cash wasn't. cleaning the car he was mad cuz I just. made him clean our car and in return I. just had my girlfriend cleaning his car. and he was like why are you cleaning it. he wanted me to clean it and the 65 guy. was like do you do you want do you want. your car clean or not dude he's like. fine and then he stood there and then. the worst thing happened he's looking at. me and he's like you look familiar and I. was like I was like oh no. and he was like I swear I've seen you on.

Tik Tok before I was like no no and he. pulls up a picture of me he posts on my. Tik Tok account he has the whole thing. and he's like this has got to be you and. I was like he he showed the video that. you posted earlier that day in the same. clothes and I I switched shirts but I. had the same necklace on he's like this. has got to be you man and I was like no. no he's like that's crazy y'all are it. was like a one-of a kind necklace it was. like a pretty unique necklace and he was. like that's crazy y'all look so much. alike and he just put his phone back in. his pocket and I was like is this guy.

that dumb like bro like I'm look at the. necklace hello and he he didn't believe. it he I told him no and he believed me. and he just went with it yeah and that's. the story what were you going to say I. was going to say more no no there's more. more there's more no I forgot to a she. wants to tell it now I'm going to tell. it because I was want to experience this. anyways so as there our cars are being. ex claimed in exchange a cop rolls up. because he had been called it's like 2. a.m. at this point he had been called in. on like car breaking in this. neighborhood so he sees all this. commotion outside of a house and he's. like pulls up and these guys like Sprint.

to him like wanted to talk to him first. and so and I was like what are they. going to tattle on me for taco Cal what. in the world so by the time I get up to. the police car the cops already like all. right all right y'all have a good night. y'all be safe and he drove up and I was. like what did this guy say to him to. just get a cop to go I see y'all when. there was like 20 guys standing I don't. know what he said so then we go about. the night uh the guys at the party. actually give the these guys a beer uh. to make.

that scared me to like to like even it. out to make sure slower jez like Eminem. over here so they um they give him a. drink to you know make it even. everyone's fine and dandy we go home. these we we had actually started small. talk with these guys and we were like. where are Y at this point we were chill. with them now now we're all just talking. time and we were like well where are. y'all from and they were like oh I mean. we're just kind of like moving and we. were like what and they're like we're. just kind of like on the run and I like. well where are you from and they're like. we're on the run from Chicago and we. were like okay they didn't say run no.

they didn't say run they said they said. we're from Chicago and we were like what. are you doing down here and they're like. oh just hanging out they were they were. weird about it they were weird about it. we were like knew we knew something was. off the next morning I wake up and I. check Twitter there was two men that. were like on the run from Chicago for. murder for shooting and yeah and they. match match the description perfectly. like the same exct description they like. the guys were pretty much built kind of. like me and M like the same. like and they had like these tattoos and.

they described the guys perfectly and I. was like bro I threw a taco at some. murderers that's pretty cool that's. pretty cool if you ask me we were like. holy crap like imagine if we would have. gotten shot and then like sh I would. have just dashed it through another. burrito. Tac got burrito in his eyes. like oh my God so that's the story I was. done with my nacho fries yeah I had hot. sauce on me that's crazy no I know that. was like scary imagine if there was hot.

sauce in the. burrito oh my God he got in his eyes he. so madag how mad no like we probably are. so but now I'm I was like but then it. made sense I was like he sprinted to the. cop and said something to him to make. him like I don't know what yeah I don't. know what he said but he wanted to make. sure the cop did not investigate people. cuz obviously he's on the run for murder. so I wonder if he's still on the Run. well I saw him actually actually saw I. guess he's hanging around this area I. saw him like 3 months later both of them. and they were at Walmart at the coin. machine dumping ACH bunch of coins in. the machine and to get like the money.

back and I was like that's interesting. no they they saw us remember cuz we saw. them in the store and we walked out and. we're pulling out of Walmart and they. walk out of Walmart as we're driving. away and they stared us down because we. were the same car we were still in the. car checking to make sure you didn't. have any Tacos on yeah no I completely. ignored them I just ate my taco and led. at him as I walked out I was like see. y'all later but yeah that's my story. about how I threw Taco at some murderers. yeah wow life is crazy I'm still lowkey. kind of scared of what happened if. Michael's buddies wasn't throwing a. party no like I think we would have been.

in danger I was like it would have been. probably a fight so or a shooting I mean. obviously I win those obviously I win. those no we just really were not sure. like how many guys were in the car yeah. like there could have been like guys. packed in a Ford Fusion 100% for Fusion. don't tell him that it was a big truck. it was a scary vehicle it was a very. scary. vehicle all right guys thank you so much. for watching this episode of LOL podcast. thank you so much we'll see you guys. next time peace out.