How I Ruined A Funeral!

okay I was at a funeral when I was 11. and I wanted to see if they kept the. teeth in the corpse. oh my gosh. inside. a living. yeah wait the real question is was there. teeth. no questions no questions. yeah we all are mad what was that uh-oh. what kind of shade are you throwing. she said that's why girls don't want you. what's up guys welcome to another.

episode of the LOL podcast you guys. really gotta start doing this okay come. on why don't we do like the YMCA oh. that's gonna go like l oh wait but like. look. l-o-l like okay all right let's get into. it. [Music]. all right we're gonna start off with a. truth in a lie game if you guys have. never heard of it pretty much we're. going to go around we're gonna say a. truth and we're gonna say lie and then. we'll have to vote on which one's the. truth and which one's the lie all right. Kate you want to start not really yeah.

okay uh. I mean like Kate me like are we saying. all of them and then voting or are we. just focusing on her first. so my first home app. first what statement oh gosh when you. first got your Tesla. I did hit something in it wait what this. is actually crazy. I hit something in it and I never told.

you that's a lot no way wait can we ask. what did you hit she would have told. what did you hit no no no no no asking. questions. okay my next fact my next fact hmm. um. when I was a young teenager I had a very. severe shoplifting problem. true definitely true I feel like that's. false I can see you with some sticky. hands now I can see her just stealing.

lip gloss everywhere she goes oh my gosh. it's hard so so was she a criminal she's. a klepto or a liar uh a criminal for. sure okay what do you think return that. to Ulta or Sephora wherever you stole it. that the shop left means a lie no no no. it's true Watch Me Be Right. yeah sorry You Don't Know Her Like I Do. she's a thief am I yeah I just I just.

know that you smell have you ever seen. me steal anything in my life I don't. need to to know that you're a thief. would you steal something. now just don't ask questions just a. general question oh now as like a grown. would you steal something what's your. your parents actually phrase that like. now. uh okay. all right let's go Maverick uh she's a. she's a thief she's she's all right. klepto I think that the LIE is your.

Thief. yeah um. you know she's eclectic yeah what does. that mean yeah like she's a shoplifter. anyways she have to steal like little. things that like like leave a little. watch it's like sticky in it doesn't. even matter like the monkey off that.

movie Yes you guys know what movie I'm. talking about yeah he teaches the monkey. to steal everything yeah anyways you're. a klepto okay are we right am I supposed. to say I'm using that word correctly. right guys now you're supposed to say. okay kleptomaniac yeah that's true yeah. you're a kleptomaniac the truth is that. when I was like 13 14 I did chocolate. knew it y'all it was bad I literally. wait how often did you see no I'm. talking like so me and my best friend. when we were like 13 14 we wanted to go. shopping but we didn't have jobs and so.

we realized that like hey if you take. that club there's the solution this was. so bad and I'm literally like well I get. a job when you could steal no yeah I. literally I didn't have anybody me and. my friend together we were two idiots. like and we realized oh hey if you just. like take something into the dressing. room and put it on under your clothes. and walk out of the store it belongs to. you it's free it's free yeah and then it. got bad all my other friends knew that I. was like doing it and they would want. something so they'd have me like take. something for them so that they didn't. have to do it. yeah so yeah I did.

um and you're right now that was the old. me that was like did you ever get caught. so yeah this one time um my best friend. and I we were the only people that uh. did it nobody else would do it with us. we were in a Dillard's and we were like. it was like going bowling like we. couldn't get him to come no no literally. busy every weekend ask your cousin. everything. wait you stole every weekend every. single week no that was like our outing. it was like we were going to the mall to. shoplift oh my gosh yeah it's really bad.

so anyways this one time I'm in. Dillard's right and we're like grabbing. everything we can get our sticky fingers. on and we're gonna go to the dressing. room put on about 10 pounds of clothes. and walk out of the store we've been. like doing this very for like regularly. so then we are obviously all right guys. meet up at the same spot as usual yeah. no we're like we're like in the higher. end like close and we're taking stuff. like we were like taking like Calvin. Klein too and all that we're like 13 14. obviously we don't have money for Calvin. Klein and stuff like that and so yeah we.

had like literally arms full of just. clothes and crazy one of the workers. like like knew what we were doing and so. she called security and um we like saw. security walk in and they thought they. were following us around the store so we. literally just dropped everything and. left that's why at Walmart that's the. only makeup aisle that's locked up yeah. no because the people like you no I. honestly I'm.

I don't care don't shoplift it's not. good I was very fortunate to not get. caught I mean maybe no actually it was. wrong I should have gotten caught yeah I. needed to get caught so that I could get. like a slap across the face and like. someone be like hey like you're not. supposed to steal but I didn't get. caught but you will so all right I want. to hear Math's truth and alike because. no no we're going this way no you said. yours is good uh. gosh no can we vote on him to go you. know. just go it's not that deep okay.

actually none of y'all know the answer. to this so this is great I thought a. long time about my truth and a lie yep. as you all know it took me a long time. to think of it yep um oh wait don't say. that I almost said my truth okay so now. you're gonna say huh I almost wrote that. down I know you have he's kissed. multiple guys I know wait don't make. that face. no no I I I actually was gonna write. that down. um I Kissed A guy as my truth but then I.

was like oh wait they already know that. yeah but it wasn't voluntarily okay this. guy he's a bodybuilder no multiple. you've kissed so you've wanted to kiss. him okay one of them was plain chicken. no you don't kiss multiple guys and say. it was all non-voluntary no no I've. never accidentally kissed a man. no wait what maybe. tell your Truth at all okay okay. wait can I defend myself on the kiss. story yes real quick yeah 30 seconds. okay we were playing chicken I'll just. leave it there we were playing chicken. and I won well I guess we both won.

actually yeah we've all lost actually in. real life it was a win-lose situation. um Okay so. number one is why am I like nervous. number one is like I was at a funeral. and I was like no 11. yeah that's not a good opening. something turned off over there oh the. light turned off yeah okay I was at a. funeral when I was 11. and I wanted to.

see if they kept the teeth in the corpse. oh my gosh no safe side so I pulled I. just grabbed the lip and pulled it down. no. how's your teeth. no questions no questions I'm not. answering whose funeral was I'm not into. you don't have to find out for yourself. next fact Cash There's no way you did. not tell me that. um.

have you guys ever poached the body. though oh well I did with you once just. with you yeah wait wait this guy died. when we were kids we were like nine. eight and nine and me now we're like. poke poke I mean on my grandma's funeral. I like grabbed her hand and I was like. oh you're scared me no yeah same with my. great grandma I like touched her foreign. yeah no anyways wait no no continue so. that's that's my first one my second one. is is me and all my buddies were out.

and one of my buddies or well we're not. oh we were at his house one of my. buddies put glitter and the other one's. drink like a good amount of glitter and. I didn't tell him and he drank it and he. drank the whole thing he didn't notice. is he dead no he's alive but he drank. the whole thing that's funny imagine. he's peeing later he's like what's going. on. why is there glitter coming up. throw me off if my pee was shining. delicious.

like red and blue you're like what's. going on here's the thing my feeling. like the Fourth of July. is I think that the first statement was. so astronomically wild I don't think you. could make that up and lie about it like. what comes up with that. Glitter in your buddy's drink I don't. know she was thinking for a while about. a lie so I'm like plot twists they're. both yeah all right oh is one of them.

true is one of them actually true yeah. it's a true did a lie Kate but you're. cash she would like put two lies just to. or maybe two truce okay okay I'm gonna. go with I gotta say I think oh my God. Michael which one is it. the teeth are the piss. making a conversation okay you said it's. the first one wait but is this a lie I. think I'm gonna be honest yeah I think. the LIE is the first statement I think. that you did your friend did drink some. glitter and you didn't tell them so you. think the truth is the glitter yeah.

[Laughter]. that's true okay okay you're a. tiebreaker I'm gonna say the two teeth. is true too really yeah tell me the seat. is true.

parties I don't remember if they were. there or not that's the whole reason you. did it I gotta go to a funeral soon man. no you don't that's so sad oh what's. your turn girl anyways okay okay so. basically my first fact is that I um. okay but don't say the first truth just.

say don't be like the truth is the truth. is no so basically my first fact or. statement whatever okay this is the. truth yes yes of course. um well y'all don't know okay this is. awkward okay okay so the first statement. is that I jumped out of my 15-foot. window in the upstairs and I did the. same thing no so I jumped on my window. with uh my bed sheets I did this she did. the same thing okay we're like family. based yeah we're I literally your.

window's pretty high because y'all. watching Rapunzel or something yes yes. oh I literally I watched Rapunzel and. and then I was like that's your truth. I'm going I don't even know the second. thing fairy tales you like Rapunzel. punches that's definitely the truth so. wait so wait but. so the next the next truth is that. that's true is that um I in my house. there's a big chandelier and I hung from. it and I just play Sia's Chandelier no.

no I should have did you listen to Miley. Cyrus probably bro again no but I I what. like the wrecking ball thing like I. wanna swing this is what she said okay. okay anyways sorry I was on my stairs. and I was like staying on top of them. and I grabbed the chandelier and I sat. on top of it and then I fell straight. down and I broke the chandelier. okay I'm going with the first one is the. truth. first one Rapunzel.

oh I found a chandelier one because I. put so much how old were you how old was. I it was like a year ago oh what one. girl I was eight. okay. um on to the next one. um so for this one two truths and a lie. no no one shoot one oh one truth One Lie. okay yeah did you did you come up with. two lies no one truth one. um. I'm six three.

a blue eyes. without there. takes questions. [Laughter]. no I have a real one I just forgot what. it was what yeah. your first statement so the real one. okay one one truth One Lie yeah um I can. bench press 450. no come on and uh I'm. in love with your wife.

[Laughter]. I kissed a girl last night what yo. [Laughter].

[Music]. I've been seeing lately. the other day Okay Taylor Swift Taylor. Swift yes Taylor Swift I really I really. like Taylor Swift. what's your favorite yo no no wait no no. hold up I I yeah explain to the ladies. that I do have some risks wait please. hey hold that thought though because I. want to know what that was I will get.

map credit after I have dogged this man. about not having rizz the other day we. were at a restaurant. and. we walked in. yeah it's just all female waitresses and. Hostess and everything. they're all like young and. map turns as soon as we walk in we're. the only people at the house we've never. been there it's just her her and us it's. quiet she hears him clearly he turns. around and goes I like this restaurant.

and we were like yo was it Hooters or. something no no no no and I started. busting up laughing anyways we sit down. I was like mad go talk to her and he. goes okay and he gets up and there's. three of them there and I don't know. what he said but he has all three of. them laughing and giggling and. everything and I was like hmm. that's pretty good that's pretty good so. so I'll stay his wrist level has. definitely gained since since then but. what were you gonna say so MAV had. mentioned Taylor Swift.

um and I like you listening to Taylor is. amazing I appreciate that however cash. you know always always like oh my gosh. Taylor Swift not into it right a couple. months ago a couple weeks ago whatever. he um was underneath our jet skis oh my. gosh because we were our jet skis had. broken this day so he was like oh I'm. gonna take a look see if it's anything I. can fix I was like okay okay I'll like. go get you dinner and so you thought you. could fix it. yeah like what were you looking at. you're like oh this is what the bottom.

of the jet ski looks like the next day. we took it to the shop and dropped it I. think the thing is broken yeah so I go. in and get him down yeah I did I did. yeah take it at the shop I come back and. he's like under the jet ski like working. see that working doing what he's like. he's singing his heart out to Enchanted. by Taylor Swift okay that's a good song. he was like enchant is one of the best. enchanted to me. and then but he's working on a jet ski.

like what man he's listening to. Enchanted underage balance my steroid. level with my hormones wait steroid no. testosterone uh testosterone I had to. balance my testosterone level with my. hormone levels okay estrogen estrogen oh. my God you guys get the point okay no. wonder you dropped out of school I had. no idea what you were trying to say. you're lucky she was here. she's my translator she's like you mean. testosterone you mean estrogen. people in our comments of our last. podcast someone was like I feel so bad.

they make fun of him I was like yeah. maybe you shouldn't make fun of him no. I've never thought no okay that's nice. too because you make fun of everyone. else yeah you sure do you name one time. I can get you to make fun of someone. right now. watch this he's ignoring it what's your. opinion on your wife. okay all right anyway honest opinion of. your honest opinion of your wife she's.

not here don't worry. she can't he's just me and you buddy if. I like put a wall up yeah can you plug. your ears oh. honest opinion yeah. I just want to move on no no I'm kidding. I I don't know what to say can we move. on now. [Music]. um. you could at least say something and. don't hate on me for Taylor Swift I. bought you Taylor Swift tickets and. everyone knows how expensive those are.

listen you they weren't listening to. Taylor Swift like actually like made me. so happy I was like also not only did I. pay for Taylor Swift tickets on the way. to Taylor Swift we're late and she's. like hurry. oh geez yeah yep well I think she worked. it off speaking of which have you done. my driver course oh cash don't say that. on a podcast well I'm not doing it it's. a driver course.

he is not having Kate do it for him that. would be really bad okay like actually. that's like not good to say no I think. it's fun it's fine our neighbor's a cop. oh my gosh y'all he's the chief too I. know him we got this we got these new. neighbors this last week right and we go. outside to meet them and um like we're. talking to the husband and the wife and. they have a couple of kids like close to. our age and stuff and we get in the.

truck to go get some food no this is. Matt's idea math looks at me and he. knows I'll do it if he says it yeah and. map goes cash you won't you won't show. him your police siren. which is obviously illegal he has like a. PA system and a train horn in stolen so. I have cop sirens on my car. um I can talk outside of it is Tesla no. no no it's like an actual it's a truck. like it's like a PA system oh my God. yeah yeah and and I got a train horn and. I rolled up to him. and I was like Hey hypothetically if I.

was to install a train horn on my car. would that be illegal and he was like uh. no not necessarily you just can't really. use it and I was like oh okay good to. know I mean I probably won't get one but. you know oh my God and I was like what. about like a police siren he was like oh. yeah that's highly illegal absolutely. you can't have those and I was like okay. good to know good to know and then I was. like I actually do have the train horn. he's like really and he goes hockey it's. nine o'clock at night we're not at 30 at.

night and he lives in this neighborhood. too he goes honk it I was like are you. sure and he's like honking I was like. okay just because it's an order okay. because you are it's a lawful order my. parents always told me to listen to cops. so I honked it at 9 30. and he was like. dude that's cool and he was like do you. also have a police siren I was like no. no no. and then when we rolled off I played the. police siren. [Applause]. that's crazy yeah well and then our. neighbors posted on the Facebook page.

they were like Whoever has the train. horn can you please refrain from blowing. it at night yeah and it's pretty awkward. because obviously everyone knows who has. the train horn yeah it's like it's a big. jacked up truck with all the light bars. and the rims and like that if you look. you could see the horn. [Applause]. because listen I don't know I don't know. how our neighbors feel about us I don't. know what a cop likes us oh obviously. our new neighbors like us we're friends.

who are they gonna call speaking of cops. I also hit a firefighter today with my. car oh but nice well no he he was. driving a car I didn't realize you hit a. firefighter yeah yeah well I like just. to be clear I did not hit him I had his. car I said that oh his car yeah Harper's. like I've been there done that. yeah your truck was pretty messed up. yeah yeah my truck was messed up today. and it was a very sad ride to the. podcast. point out. hold on he just used the wrong English.

again I know I was hoping you wouldn't. notice I said why stuff always happen. and then this time I hit someone kids in. UK I would just like to point out that. cash rear-ended okay in our truck and. Mavericks oh my God. we have a Chevy we have a truck someone. it barely cracked the front of the. garage I have I haven't tapped anybody. ever. 85 curves.

curbs aren't costing us money but now we. gotta go through insurance for that and. then you had to file an insurance claim. for that and we lost money okay so well. exactly the worst driver here it's. actually really making me mad that's. yeah she did yeah when you backed out. and hit that car. oh you forgot about it. [Laughter]. yeah she hit a car but it was a parts. car which was oh it wasn't even moving.

no okay that's even worse can I listen I. had I was also 16 I just got my license. oh and it was 10 o'clock at night it was. so dark in this neighborhood can you. stop defending yourself no I'm telling. you what happened because remember the. cop showed up in my house yes yeah so I. pulled out I hit the school yeah the. cops showed up here yes I hit this car. and we were on our way to like go to a. haunted house or something with our. friends and we were running late so I. hit the car it's like 10 o'clock at. night I was like I'm gonna leave a note. when I get back and this car is this car. has already been hit like it was it was.

total it was a bad car and so I drive. off and about an hour and a half two. hours later I come back and I leave a. note on the person's car and I never. like the lady like finally calls me. today we left okay just be clear we. didn't leave are the person that lived. there said that car never has oh yeah. okay we'll just leave a note when we get. back yeah so I left the note and then a. couple days later the lady called she. doesn't speak very good English and. she's like can you just send me a. hundred dollars and I was like that's. suspicious I'm not doing that like if. you want money like she needed to go. through insurance and stuff yeah and so.

um anyways then the cops show up to my. house actually a couple days later. because somebody had watched me hit the. car and they watched me drive off so. technically it was a hit and run yeah. and so then the cops showed up and I. told him everything and I like showed. him like the note I wrote I showed him. pictures of us leaving it there and I. showed him I told him that the lady had. called and he said that they tried to. get in contact with her but they never. heard anything so I didn't but I wasn't. gonna just hand her 100 so so you're a. criminal and you do hit yeah you you. steal and you hit people's cars and run. away you got hit by someone in the uh.

Car Wash oh yeah. he ran away yeah. I was chasing a guy down this guy and he. was like 80. poor man we probably didn't. even know he hit you no he did he did. we were in The Tunnel Car Wash and you. know how you put your car in neutral I. put my car in neutral bro I'll put his. car in Drive. in the tunnel and I was like dang.

dang and then I get out and he's right. behind me and I pull off to like the. parking spot. and this bro just drives away. wait what and so I chased him down and I. was like pull over pull over and he. throws his hands at me and he pulls over. and then and then I was like hey you hit. my car he goes it wasn't my fault. okay well it was it first of all he. didn't even like okay pull over to like.

see yeah and he was like wasn't my fault. it was the Car Wash's fault I was like. uh no no I don't think so but then I. checked my car because I didn't have. time to check it at the car wash I. checked it and it was fine so I was just. like whatever dude just go yeah but not. like give me a hundred dollars and go. no that's so suspicious yeah have you. ever like been in a car accident or. anything like that I haven't yeah I do. remember when I was younger like three. years old I was in my car seat and my. mom she um we were driving and a guy. came out of the bank like he was.

speeding you said you remember this yes. physically remember this like do y'all. remember some things yeah it's like. random things. I remember what I had for breakfast a. week ago but I remember that you know so. anyways like this guy was running out. and then we were going like that and my. mom was like she flipped him off all. this Mom oh my gosh I don't think your. mom's gonna appreciate it Mom but uh. yeah anyways and I didn't even know what. that was so then I tried it later and. then I got in trouble no so basically.

what do you all think is under what are. y'all what are some things that y'all. think is overrated because I think a lot. of things uh I know Kate thinks. wallpaper's overrated oh. I needed we needed this backdrop we were. like we want this and so the boys are. like well Kate this is all you babe you.

know it's underrated monkeys. monkeys are under race in general those. are my favorite animals one morning I. said let's go to the zoo. she said what I said I gotta go see the. Apes oh my God he took me to the zoo. because we're going to the zoo on a. Tuesday I said yeah it is Valentine's. Day it was Valentine's Day no I know you. were up on YouTube.

and I was like we'll call it a date. let's go and I get there and she's like. wait she's like you wanna go see the hip. but I'm like no straight I went straight. to the gorilla enclosure and I said no. and I just stared at them. yeah I tried to troll me I'm sitting. there looking at the glass because like. nobody's there it's a random Tuesday and. I'm sitting there looking at the glass. and he's staring at me and I'm we're. just staring back at and fourth at each. other looking into each other's eyes. what do you have to do here get off go. away anyways.

[Music]. um okay so I'm staring at the gorilla. he's looking at me and then he walks up. to the glass. no serious talking he walks into the. glass and he hits it and runs off yeah. he like dresses. and then he just ran away then he looked. at me again I was like yo these are not. these are these people in costumes yeah. he sat in front of the like gorilla. enclosure for like two hours that day. that's cool and then we went and looked. at all the animal other animals and then. I came back were you born right no they.

were they were actually so entertaining. it was honestly it was a little sad like. you could tell that they needed more. room than what they have yeah they had. plenty of room she's trying to hop on. the trend. no I gotta see them how am I supposed to. see it if it's not here yeah but I think. monkeys are humans like they evolved. over time. oh no she's one of those people don't I. look like a monkey uh I mean they're. gonna say it.

I'm gonna see the ears a little bit you. know y'all shut up. she looks like a monkey and we said yeah. and she's like wow really yeah no I mean. like sometimes I get offended of the. things that I try to say anyways so like. I like feel like a monkey's evolved over. time so you believe in evolution. what does that mean. what you just described pretty much so. you guys love them he's always funny. that's how like how humans like some. people believe yeah yeah people believe. that God created Adam and Eve.

what about German monks what about them. like German monks like German monkeys. isn't that right like yeah. monkeys in Germany. we're not monkeys but didn't was it Eve. made it out of one rib yeah that's so. cool. that's okay I'm just trying to get.

myself out of this situation. I mean what if it was okay I can't be. doing this all right I can't be putting. my word against the Bible but like I. mean I mean yo this dog across the. street yeah the dog goes out they said. that's a Satan dog but it's their own.

dog they said it's a spot yeah they said. that your dog is a safe we realize what. they said why is your dog Satan and they. said they said he ate the whole book of. Genesis. and then they said they said he also ate. my devotional oh and a Bible. like no where are they all going yeah. what's the dog. what the heck is going on I think MAV. ordered food oh bro just left for Uber. Eats oh yeah I saw him before this he. was like he was like yeah and you're all. right that's what he was doing it no no.

way you cannot eat on the podcast you. smack too much. yeah there's no way no guys when mad. eats he's like yeah we're on Xbox and he. and we're like all right guys we're like. all right guys let's play and he's like. y'all did this right in the middle of. lunch time no no for real you're not no. no don't eat like being yourself you. literally you don't know how to eat and. not smack your mouth. oh yeah just no no serious no take one. bite one bite put the put the ice cream. down it's ice cream take a bite.

Now give me one. no he's like yeah. it's gonna be when you do when we're. like mid conversation he's gonna be like. yeah no no please please put it away. you can't eat okay I do like mozzarella. sticks. okay. yeah all right you just got to put it. away from the whipped cream on your lip. yeah now you just look dumb no you look. terrible no you look like literally I'm. starving yeah we all are mad what was. that uh-oh what kind of shade you.

throwing. she said that's why girls don't want you. what that's why we knew the the hey. that's why we need your truth. my leg just lost. he can't get up guys that's what you get. but I mean he does this occasionally it. hasn't done it in months my hips do that. bro's just trying to be different right. now yeah. he's trying to distract from the fact. that girls get out of here what Mom dude. can you stop can you like they're so.

annoying can you stretch out your leg. maybe like get it together it wouldn't. open it y'all don't understand the pain. that I just went through I went scuba. diving and when I went I got a cramp. like that it's not a cramp my knee locks. oh he's trying to get back to you saying. Throwing Shade a lot plenty of girls are. interested in me with whipped cream on. your lip no they're not they'd probably. like that a lot actually okay all right. that's the end of the podcast. all right guys thank you so much for. watching we'll see you next time if you. guys want to see more videos click right.

here peace.