Harper Explains EVERYTHING!

Hey guys, Benny cheated on me. We get to. the party. I hang out for a little bit. These two girls are like, "Hey Harper, could I get a photo?" And I was like, "Of course." And then they're like, "Did. you hear what Benson did?" And I was. like, "No." They're like, "He cheated on. you." And all this. Oh, >> this is making me sad just hearing this. >> My heart dropped immediately. I started. balling at the party. >> Yeah. At the party. I was. >> Yeah. I would feel sick. >> Yeah. So then I go up to him. I ask him. about it. I promise you didn't cheat on. you. I would never do that to you. And. then we go home and um. >> Oh, no. It's okay. I haven't cried about. it in like two days, but like I'm fine. now.

[Music]. >> I'm just happy that after all all of the. I guess you could say slander, I don't. know. Uh uh things me and you both said. about YH Forel that they never got us. We never got. >> For those of you that do not know, YH. Forel was a gang at Harper's local. middle school. What? >> No, you said it was a gang. Yeah, I. thought it was and then they threatened. to, you know, do things and I. >> as gangs do. It was at Harper's local. middle school and.

>> Wait, >> I I've heard like bits and pieces from. podcast before I started. >> Yes. >> But I've never actually heard the story. I thought it was a real gang. >> No, they're just dangerous 12-year-olds. >> No, no, they're seriously dangerous. It. was a group of friends at our high. school that she thought were in a gang. >> Well, they said they were in a gang. No, their gang was Yh Forel, which meant. young lums for life. >> Young lums for life. And Harper, me and. M were like, "You know what? >> We don't care about white bro." She's. like, she's like, "Y'all can't say. that." She's like, "They'll come after.

you." I'm like, "I'm an adult man. I. don't I'll be all right if some. 13-year-olds come after me.". >> No, you. >> I'll just call their parents. >> She was really You have to tell me what. kind of crazy thing. >> It started in eighth grade. They were. called the Mambas at first. Like, which. >> they had a rebrand? >> Mambas, which was a I figured out it was. like the candy brand, the Mambas, like. the chewy things off brand chews. And so. I was like, "Oh, that's funny." And then. the like more the more normal guys, not. normal, I don't know, the more like. normal guys went out of the group cuz. they were just like in the.

>> normal gang members left. >> No. Yeah. And so then it became a real. gang where they did, you know, things. like that aren't good for. >> Did they hurt people? Yes. They would. jump and stuff, but they're better now. Turn to God. So. >> the whole the entire gang? >> Yeah. Whole gang found out. >> Great. >> But they never got Mav. They never got. never got me. Never got they turned away. from that life of gang history. >> of gang violence. >> I don't know about turn away from it. fully, but definitely. >> they still dabble. >> Are they all still friends? >> No.

>> Oh, that's why they broke up. >> The gang broke up literally. Did they. snap their friendship bracelets and. everything? >> Probably. >> Wow, man. >> Well, >> yeah. I mean, I'm glad you know. >> Speaking of Speaking of snapping. friendship bracelets, >> we got a whole big thing of friendship. bracelets over here, too. that you guys. have given us a tour. We're keeping. every bracelet we get on tour and it's. going in our draw. >> I have a favorite one. Hold on. >> What the. >> Hold on. I have it right here. >> You have a favorite bracelet? >> I do. >> You and I appreciate them all. But this.

one right here, >> she even knew where it was in the box. >> Yeah, cuz I was just showing Mav the. other day. >> Yeah, I had. >> It has a little K on it for Kinsey. And. it says LOL and it's pink and green. pearls, which I love pearls. And look, there's a little Stella on it. It's. actually a Dalmatian, which Stella is. not a Dalmatian, but it looks kind of. like that. >> The thought of it is just cute. Anyway, that's so sweet. >> Yeah. Back to snapping friendship. bracelet. >> Somebody crocheted this for cash. It was. so. >> I sold the turtle. They crocheted in my.

car. >> I love that. >> We need to dump these bags in here. >> Yeah. But we have a big old thing of. friendship bracelets since Matt was on. the topic. >> Please make us more because we. >> once we get our studio one day, if we. ever get professional, you know what's. happening over there. She would scare me with a crochet. dinosaur. >> Weird noises. >> Well, once we get professional one day, if we ever do, and we get a warehouse, me and Kate and Harper, I'm telling. Harper that you're going to do this with. us. So, I'm excited that you're excited. We are going to make a big art project. on the wall with all of our bracelets.

And. >> you're going to like melt them down or. something? >> No, we're not going to melt down. >> We want to have a like a wall of like. fan art, too. Yeah. >> But that's. >> for yonder. >> Yeah. Yeah. But what were you saying. about friendship bracelets? Oh, I was. saying sometimes when you have a. friendship bracelet and Oh my gosh, hold. on. >> You know, sometimes just like when you. in win a gang, things don't work out. So, >> you you got to snap that friendship. bracelet off, you can't just take it. off. >> Why are you talking about. >> my wedding ring? >> And uh. I was just wondering if anybody snapped. any friendship bracelets recently. Okay, that's crazy.

>> That's an odd way to phrase that. >> Why are you smiling while you start the. conversation? >> Because it was funny. Are you happy. about Harper's breakup? No, I just know. that Harper came here today saying she's. ready. >> She's ready. >> What? >> She's ready to talk like this. >> She's ready to snap her friendship. >> She said she wanted to talk about it. So, I was just saying like snap. >> No, you said, "Are you ready to talk. about it?" I said, "Yes, I'm very. ready." So, >> okay. So, she is ready. >> Okay. Well, do y'all do.

>> I don't Here's the thing. Here's the. thing. I don't want you to say anything. >> No, I'm not. I'm going to be respectful. of his boundaries and my boundaries. >> No, no, I know you are. I'm just saying. like I don't want you to say anything. because you feel like you have to say. anything. It's also private stuff. Like. you don't have to put it on the. internet. >> I'm not putting everything on the. internet, but I'm putting the main. points cuz there's a lot that goes. behind the scenes. >> Yeah, cuz I'm confused cuz I haven't. seen you say anything about the breakup. yet. >> What do you mean? >> You haven't seen all the tears? >> No, but I haven't really seen her post. anything. What about #free? >> Wait, she did have a a live. I wasn't on.

it, but I saw some Okay, I asked of it. and I was like cussed on accident. I. accidentally. >> Oh, I didn't see that. Okay, >> I did. I did see that. >> Yeah, cash. >> But no, I was wondering like. >> somebody put my address in the chat and. I was not paying attention. I was like, "Oh." And I said a bad word. But. >> well, anyways, I was just wondering how. do cuz it seems like a lot of everyone. online already knows what happened. But. I'm just confused because I feel like I. barely know what happened, but somehow. everyone online knows what happened. >> When I found out I got very mad, so I. started searching up cheating repost. Repost in every single one. Oh, it was.

really. >> She had to let the fans know subtly. Like she couldn't just like flash post. like, "Hey guys, Benny cheated on me.". Okay, so um I'll tell y'all everything. I'm going to kind of keep it subtle. Um. >> nonchalant subtle after she just said. Benny cheated on me. >> I mean, it's true. I'm not going to lie. to them. >> Be nonchalant, if you will. >> So I me and Benny dated for two months. Um it was our two months anniversary. when I went up there. Uh it was. September 19th when I went up there. I. was We started dating June 19th.

>> Okay. >> Wow. They started dating Junth. >> Yeah. >> Y'all y'all had two months strong. >> Yeah. And I never had that long a. relationship. >> No, you were. >> I heard that's longer than the game. >> June. You started dating in July. >> July. Okay. July 19th. Sorry. >> You were not dating on Junth then? >> No. So July 19th and we stayed till July. August and September. So So yeah. So a. week before I went up there, he uh made. a bad decision. Um and he you know he. did.

do other things with another girl and um. I w I went out there the next week and I. was really excited. It was his. homecoming and um we were really excited. and one thing he didn't want me to do. was go to a party cuz he didn't want. people to start rumors which is obvious. And he didn't also want people to. barricade me and be like Harper's summer. harper summer all this because that's. like how people are to him. Um. especially at like football games and. stuff like that. So, he was like. protecting me in that aspect. Um, but I. just we thought it was kind of weird. that he didn't want me to go to parties.

and stuff, which is like I don't know. It's fine. So, um, we get to the party. I hang out for a little bit. Um, and I, uh, I see, what's it called? I see these. two girls are like, "Hey, Harper, could. I get a photo?" And I was like, "Of. course." Um, and then they're like, "Did. you hear what Benson did?" And I was. like, "No." They're like, "He cheated on. you and all this." And I was like, "I. didn't believe it." So, I talked to him. about it. We talked about it for a. little bit. Um, and then we went home. for the night and then Oh, >> this makes me sad just hearing this.

>> Uh, there's a lot that went on after. like after I confronted him about it. There's. >> Wait, so like they told you and you're. sitting and so after they tell you, you. just go up to him and you just ask. >> No, they told me my heart dropped. immediately. I started balling and. >> at the party. >> Yeah, at the party I was. >> Yeah, I would feel sick. >> Yeah. Um, Brick, why am I crying? >> Okay, this is why I didn't want to talk. No, no, no. Trust. It's fine. So then. >> I don't like hearing this. >> It's fine. No, >> so you don't have to talk about it.

>> No, I want to. Trust. >> So then I go up to him. I ask him about. it. I promise you didn't cheat on you. I. would never do that to you. And then we. go home and um. >> Okay. No, there's there's no reason we. need to like this. >> No, because I want to tell the story. Just trust. Trust. I'll get over it. Um. and then Okay. So then the next morning. I get a video from one of his friends. and um then it's like right before I. leave. So we have a 10-hour drive home. because our flight got delayed. And so. our flight got delayed and we had a.

10-hour drive home. I got a video from. one of his friends, him and his friend. explaining the situation, how he did. cheat on me. So I told him I said, "Hey, like we're done. I'm I don't want to be. together.". >> Wait, he didn't tell you in person? >> No. No. He kept saying on God I didn't. cheat on you. On God I didn't do this. And I found out that he did. So I sent. him the video or I didn't send him the. video. friend ratted on him. >> No, his friend. Him and his friend made. a video together. >> No, it was they were on FaceTime. together and this girl was videoing the. FaceTime being like, "Hey, so what. happened that night at the game. >> and so. >> Oh my gosh.

>> Mhm. >> This is news. Wait, I didn't hear this. part of the story the other day.". >> So I um so yeah, I they videoed the. FaceTime call and then they sent it to. me and then I was like, "We're done. I. can't be with a cheater. I don't want to. be with a cheater. I don't want to be. cheated on all this." And he was like, "I can explain. I wasn't in the right. state of mind." to his defense. Like I I. don't think he was either. I think that. he was not in the right state of mind. that night. And he wasn't, you know, like I don't I don't think he had me in. the back of his mind that night. And so. he um this girl went up to his friend.

and said, "Hey, can I get your snap?". And then they hung out later that night. thinking that she was going to hang out. with his friend, but actually she went. in the back seat and then whatever. happened happened. Um and and then I. found out um that I got the story from. the girl that I got cheated on with. She's a never I'm not going to say that. But um she Yeah, I got the story. And. >> wait, she told you? >> Yeah, she she actually DM'd my she had. DM'd Brooke on TikTok saying, "Hey, I. feel really bad about Harper. I would.

really want to just call and talk about. the story." So then she called us and. talked about the story. And everything. seemed true and except for the things. Benny told me. He was like, "Hey, like. like he he tried to defend himself in. the most way possible, but he did kind. of tell the truth." So, I'm going to say. that. But, um, I do want to respect his. boundaries and stuff like that because. he was a good boyfriend while we lasted. and stuff and we would get in. disagreements and stuff like that and we. would always like, you know, obviously. we're human. We're going to have. disagreements and stuff, but like the.

number one thing to do when you're. dating somebody is to not cheat. Yo, Los. Angeles, guys, is coming up next on our. world tour. If you guys have been to any. of our shows so far, you're going to. want to still come to the Los Angeles. show because we are going to have. special guests at this show and it is. going to be a crazy show. So, if you can. come to Los Angeles on October 5th, go. get your tickets right now at the. lolodcast.net. It is going to be a crazy show. And then. after that, we are going to Chicago, Houston, Oklahoma City, Dallas,

Melbourne, Sydney, London, Dublin, and. Manchester. So, if you guys live in any. of these cities, we are on tour right. now. So, go to the other podcast.net and. go get your tickets before it's too. late. >> And so, when I found out he cheated on. me after he told me he would never do. that, it was just like, dang. So, yeah, that's the story, >> man. That was heavy. >> Yeah. >> I mean, I could cry right now. >> I'm not kidding. >> I'm like trying not to. That is so sad.

>> Yeah. >> I'm so sorry. Oh, no. It's okay. You can come sit on. the Great Divide anytime. >> That's what you all said last time when. I cried, too. >> Well, you have to come. You can come sit. with us and cry over here. >> No, I promise I'm fine. I just like I. haven't cried about it in like two days, but like I'm fine now. >> So, yeah, that's that's basically what. happened. >> I stop. Don't cry. >> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I promise I'm. fine. >> No, >> wait. Why is your makeup so waterproof.

today? >> No. Trust. Trust. I'm fine. Don't worry. No. >> Thanks. He's giving you his crochet. >> No, but I promise you I'm fine. I got. over him immediately. Obviously. No. Um. >> I love you. >> I love you, too. >> I'm sorry. >> It's okay. But. >> you can come sit over here anytime. >> Okay. No, but yeah, that that was a. story. Um. yeah, I was just not expecting it to. happen because like I would never think. about doing anything like that to him. >> Yeah. >> So then when I found out that that did. happen, I was like, "Wow, that sucks.".

cuz like I thought he really did like me. and then I like heard other stories of. him like calling me ugly and just using. me for call. But I do not think that's. true at all. I think that we really did. like each other. He was just like made a. simple mistake and obviously it's not. simple but he did make a mistake and. he's a teenage boy. Everybody's going to. make mistakes and everybody's going to. mess up in life. Um but you have to. learn from it and stuff and I probably. wasn't the right one for him but in that. period of time like it was it was good. So yeah. >> Oh man.

Map, what? >> It's just so sad. Like I I'm literally. like I feel like I could cry right now. >> Yeah, >> you're lying. >> No, I I could cry. Like I I I could have. tears rolling down my face if I let. myself. I know that we're being. recorded, so I'm trying not to. But that. is one of the saddest like breakup. stories I think I've ever heard. >> It's so like I don't know. It says a lot. about your character though, the fact. that you're like talking about it but. still like not necessarily like. defending him but not slandering him. because me personally I would be.

slandering Cash a lot if that was like. something that happened. So. >> yeah, she would. >> Yeah, I would say a lot of things even. like you know if it was 5 years ago. Wait, I have said a lot about a lot of. things about all the girls you kissed. when we were talking. >> We weren't dating. >> Yeah, I know. But whatever. >> Just to put that out there. I would. never cheat. >> Yeah. >> And I did never cheat. Okay. The second. me and Kate became boyfriend and. girlfriend. That never We were in the. early talking stages of when we were. like 13.

>> Yeah. >> Do I have family here? >> A little bit. >> But a little bit slam in the Harry and. nobody. >> But no. >> Yeah. No. I mean, we were only together. for two months, so it wasn't like a. whole year thing, but like still like I. like. >> No, but it's still because you did love. him. And like what I keep telling myself. is like he saw something in that girl. that night that he didn't see in me. So. that's why I don't think that's the. case. >> Yeah. >> I think that he was not in his right. mind because if he was in his right. mind, >> he he would never have done that. I mean.

>> because you were a great girl, Harper, and Okay, maybe he would have done that. >> Well, no. I was just going to say I. don't know him fully. >> I just think he made a mistake, right? Like I I don't think he wants all of us. on here talking about like his mistake. Like we've all we've all made mistakes. in life. We've all done things we. shouldn't have done. Yeah. >> And so like I don't want to get on here. and have all of us just like talk about. like oh this big bad mistake he made. when I'm. >> um I hope uh I haven't talked to him. obviously but I'm sure he feels. horrible. >> He feels terrible. I know he does. >> about it and and he is a young guy so.

he's hopefully going to learn. I mean. not to make excuses for it. Yeah. >> I'm not trying to make excuses for it. Um, but. >> no, I mean I hope he learns and never. does anything ever like that again to. anyone else cuz. >> yeah, I mean Benny, if you see this, do. not treat the next girl like that. I. know you're better than that. And yeah, I know he won't because this probably. like I don't know this like this is. probably a big life lesson for him. But. like I mean it's a big life lesson for. me too. Like don't trust everybody. Don't trust everybody with your. everything that you tell them. Another. reason I went up there was because I was.

going through a lot that week or two. weeks before I went and my mom said you. can't go up to see Benny unless you fix. your OCD and you fix your mental health. So I would never have gone on therapy or. medicine if I didn't have him in my. life. So, he's another aspect of why I'm. doing therapy right now and stuff. because I would not have done that. without like him because like I was not. I was I was not like willing to do. anything. And then once my mom threat me. by saying not threat me but like saying. like hey you're not going up to see him. if you can't fix yourself and actually. talk to us for at least 5 seconds. So.

that's why I now am like downstairs for. 30 minutes each night. I did that for. him like you know I like tried really. hard and then when I go up there to find. out he cheated on me it was just like. like what? So yeah, >> I know that's difficult and it it feels. like and maybe he was the reason you. started doing those things and. >> but also I do it for myself too. >> Yes. I was going to say like he might. have been like a starting point of hey. this is like my motivation to start. helping myself but that shouldn't be.

your only reason. >> Exactly. So Exactly. Yeah. No, I don't. know. But and then yeah, mad like I. could not like I've gone a lot better. about like the whole situation and like. not having to cry every time I talked to. somebody. Um because like I couldn't I. didn't go to school for two days. I like. couldn't get out of bed. So it was like. a really hard situation for me. But like. it's just like every time I think about. the story and think about how like it. went down like that that's just when I'm. like oh like that sucks because like. >> he was a really good guy to me. So yeah,

it's also really difficult when you like. situations like that happen when you're. in the public eye the way you are. because it's like. >> everybody knows what happens and. everyone's going to be asking you about. it. Like you like didn't want to go to. school because you knew you would have. been bombarded with questions about it. Like everyone would have been asking you. or even if it's not even just like. >> oh my gosh can't believe that happened. They would have been like Harper are you. okay? And it's like even like in that. moment like you you don't want to be. asked are you okay by people that like. don't actually care you know. >> Exactly. Like, no, not at all. But. >> I don't know. Just the effect it'll have. on you.

>> Yeah. >> Crazy. >> Yeah. I don't know. And then like also I. wrote the song, you know, my song with. Benny, like me and him dating, and then. like now it's like actually like applies. to my life. So that I thought that was. funny. But um but yeah, have y'all ever. gone through a breakup? Like have you. all ever been cheated on? >> I mean, what are you looking at me for? She goes, "Has have you ever really. cheated on?". >> Well, like like. >> obviously Yeah. I talked about it on the. podcast. You know the feeling like. >> when you find. >> you know the feeling. >> Yeah, I do.

>> When you find out and like your heart. just drops and you're like. >> No, no, no. I know exactly what you're. talking about. >> Like you're like you're like. >> it feels like the world is falling apart. and like it's just not real. >> No. >> Like it's it feels so surreal when. somebody that in your head would never. do anything to hurt you that cares about. you so much that like you've opened up. to and you're vulnerable with just turns. around and does something. >> um behind your back. >> That's evil behind your back. U that it. just it crushes you.

>> And so I know that feeling of like when. you get the news and when when you hear. something like that, it just feels. almost almost like a death because it's. like um like there's people that say. like when they're cheated on, they're. like, "I just wish the person would have. died instead." cuz it's like it'd been. easier to deal with someone dying than. >> feeling betrayed too. >> H knowing they're out there just like. just lying to you the whole time that. everything about them was fake or. something. I'm not saying everything. about Benny was fake. I think he's um.

you know did a lot of good things while. you guys were dating and stuff of. course. Um, but there's that there's that part when. you find out news like that that is just. devastating. >> and it just it just crushes everything. because it's not even just like in that. moment it's like oh well now this has. happened and I can move on. It's the. next morning when you wake up and you're. like, "Oh." In the morning I usually. text this person or call this person and. it's like, "Oh, okay. Well, I won't do. that. I'll just go to school or I'll. just go to work." And then you get done.

and you're like, "Okay, well, I'm done. with work." And this is the part of the. day where I normally call this person on. my way home. And it's like, "Oh, I. can't. Okay, well, I can call another. friend or something." But eventually, you don't want to bug all your friends. all the time, you know? So, it's like. trying to fill that time. That void is. like a constant reminder of like what. happened and it just it's just so tough. >> It is. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz like me and Benny. like we would call so I have a break. during school and so so in the mornings. we would call and then I went to school.

for 2 hours call after that called the. whole time. After school called the. whole time then after that called the. whole night till like 2:00 a.m. and then. we would go to bed and then would do. wake up and do the next the same thing. again. And that happened for a whole two. months. So it was like the same thing. over and over again every single day for. two months. >> So it was like sucked. But like I don't. know. It's like obviously I have to move. on with my life and like I try to not be. affected by him. I try to be like oh. well I have other guys and stuff like. that. But like really he was like at the. time like the only person I saw myself.

with and like that I could be with and. stuff. So it's like hard to see you have. to move on him move on for sure too. Like you don't want to see them move on. after they apologize and say I would. never do that. I'll wait for you. Cuz. obviously they are going to move on at. some point. And like they're like you're. not they're not going to wait for you. forever. And that's what Betty says. He's like, I'll wait for you forever. No, you won't. Like you're going to find. somebody else. You're going to find. somebody else that treats you better. And like you're going to move on with. your life. >> I say he shouldn't wait for you forever. because. >> like if you just sit around waiting for. the person that you want to be with to.

come back. Like you're never going to. actually find the person for you. Like. if Maverick would have just sulked and. waited for the girl to change, he never. would have met his wife. >> Exactly. Like. >> exactly. >> You have to like move on from it. And. it's like same thing with you. Like you. can't just like have this hope in the. back of your mind that like, oh, maybe. one day we'll work out again. Like maybe. if he fixes this or if he can change. himself in this aspect, like we'll we'll. be able to work it out and we can get. together again. It's like. >> you don't need to just wait around. Like. just live your life normally and like. when you meet another guy, you can.

pursue it with him or in 10 years or. whatever. If you guys like find your way. back to each other, fine. But like you. can't just like sit there constantly. hoping that something's going to work. out. >> Exactly. And like also the long distance. like he lived 10 hours away from me. So. like. >> we saw each other every like two weeks. >> Yeah. >> So that was easy. But it's just like it. was just like I don't know. It was just. like weird cuz like you don't know what. he's doing up there. Obviously he was. doing some stuff up there that I didn't. know about. And so like when I found out.

what he was really doing it was just. like. >> like I don't know. It was just so scary. And also another thing is I love his. friends Danny and Jace. like the ones. that went to New York with me. I'm going. to miss them so much. They're like my. best friends too. And yeah, I love them. so much. >> Oh, that's so sad. >> Yeah, cuz like Danny was crying too and. it was like dude cuz he's like obviously. he likes Benny and like he loves Benny. and like me and Danny have only met. twice and Jace, but like they seem like. like brothers to me genuinely like I. love them so much. I tell them. everything about my day. me and Jay. still FaceTime and stuff like not in a.

weird way or anything but we just catch. up and stuff like that because we're so. close and so like not like having to be. on FaceTime because like usually it. would be me, Brooke, Jason, um Benny on. FaceTime. Now just like it just being. being me and Jason is so different but. like I also like talking to him and. stuff because he's like he's like a. brother to me too. So it's like fun. But. yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I hate that it's like you're losing more. than just one person. >> Yeah, for sure. You know, it's like. you're losing the family, the friends. You're just feels like you're.

>> exiled from a whole community of people. that you. >> cared about. >> for a reason that you didn't. And also. just like I went up there one time to. his house one time and like I met so. many friends, so many new people and. like knowing that I'll never be able to. see them again or yeah, probably never. going to be able to see them again is so. hard because like. >> I want to see them so bad and I loved. like hanging out with all them but like. knowing that I'm never going to see them. again is so hard because like. >> Well, you never know like what the. future holds.

>> Yeah. >> Well, I wouldn't go back. No, I know. Kate Kate is saying like if she met a. friend up there, she can still be that. person's friend and see them in the. future. >> Like she could be friends with people. she met, she could be friends with. >> Would it be weird to travel up just to. see Jay's? Like I feel like that would. be weird, but. >> I mean, yeah, it's it's like. >> it'd be weird for now. >> I wouldn't say you should do that right. now for sure. >> Yeah, but no, you never know what the. future holds. People dating is almost. kind of like a job interview. It's like, you know, there's uh you can not be.

qualified for the job of husband, right? or wife right now, but in 10 years, you. know, or five years or whatever. People. do change. People um people change, you. know. Everybody makes mistakes, too, like I said. So, >> um. >> I still wouldn't go back. >> Yeah, >> it is one of those I I I I hate that. you're going through this because it is. one of probably. >> the hardest things, especially in this. time of life, that you'll probably go. through. >> and that is it's just so sad. I hate.

breakups. I hate cheating. I hate it. all. It's horrible. And the the fact. that um you were so caught off guard by. this. It wasn't like one of the things. where it's like. >> like oh I kind of knew about it like. >> Yeah. Like it wasn't something that was. being alluded to throughout your. relationship. It wasn't like like you. could prepare yourself for this coming. just so out of the blue. >> I had no idea. Well, also just like this. situation compared to like your last. experience with like a relationship, like you were literally a child in your.

last like you were like. >> when you're when you're 10 to 13, relationships don't even count. >> Yeah. It's like once you once you get to. the age where you are like you're old. enough to go out, you're to drive to. dates together, you're flying to see him. across the country. Like it's like. you're mature enough to to be allowed to. fly across the country to see this. person. Like that's different than the. relationship you had in the eighth grade. when you like it's going to hit you. This two months is going to hit you like. like the fact that you were with him for. 2 months and this happened probably hurt. you way harder than whatever happened to.

you when you were with the other guy for. four years, but it was like you were. still literally a kid. >> Exactly. Like. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. There's um. after after I dated several girls and uh. got hurt by all of them, um I took this. one thing to heart that was I would say. the most instrumental. um piece of advice in dating.

And I feel like you're going through it. right now because of this same mistake. It's like you can blame Benny. You can. blame um all of this other people and. stuff. And obviously you can't control. his actions. You know, I'm not saying. it's your fault at all. Um but. >> during dating, >> I think it's Proverbs 4:28 says to guard. your heart above all else. Mhm. >> And so, especially in dating, I mean, above all else, it's not saying like, "Oh, guard your heart above uh this, but.

put put uh dating before it or this or. that or the other or your wife or your. husband." It's saying above all else, guard your heart. >> Yeah. >> And that's what you let into it, whether. it's uh your music tastes, uh your uh. movies you're watching, your uh. influences in life, and uh dating. And I. think that's one of the things that's. like when you guard your heart so. tightly that it's like, hey, I'm not. gonna date with this like uh emotion.

behind it of like, oh, I just want to. feel something. I want to feel again. I. want to I want to experience a spark in. a in a fire and like um be close with. somebody intimately. And you just want. to uh pursue a uh relationship with that. person that will lead to marriage. Uh, but it's more of like a. >> I I hate to say the word interview. because dating is more than an. interview. >> It's more of like a. >> I don't know. Y'all's first date sounded. like an interview. >> Well, first date can be an interview. First date can be. >> No, no. That No, that's valid. Y'all.

should not have just. >> First date can be an interview. But. >> No, no, no. I'm talking about them. I. don't think it would have been. beneficial for Matt and Kinsey to go on. dates for three months and three months. in they have the hard top like. conversations. You know, >> I gave you that book and did you want to. finish real quick? >> Oh, yeah. No, that's good. the book that. I put in your basket. I know you. probably hate reading. >> No, I'm going to read it. >> I did not love reading either and it. took me about two years to open that. book. >> Kenzie said somebody had gifted it to. her. >> Uh my mom gifted me a different book. that took me three years to read and I.

finally read that. >> But the book that I gave you, Outdated. by JP Jonathan Mccluda, y'all should all. go buy it and read it. It's really good. Um, it just says in the book how to date. well and that is one of the main things. is to guard your heart. And in that that. means not just going on dates with. whoever and just being a boyfriend and. girlfriend just cuz you feel like oh. like yeah you can buy me candy for. Valentine's Day this year or whatever it. might be that you're looking forward to. in a relationship. You have to date. intentionally. And again like Mav said.

obviously it's not your fault that Benny. cheated on you. But I think Mav's point. in saying guard your heart is that when. you guard your heart so so well and you. learn how to do that as you grow up. When you guard it so well, it's less. likely to happen that somebody would. cheat on you cuz you're not even looking. in their direction. You would never even. look in the direction of somebody who. would even possibly think that way. because you are so focused and targeted.

on a type of person who is putting you. above all else. >> Exactly. Exactly. >> Other than God, right? >> Yeah. >> I mean, there was lots of girls I dated. that I know if or when bad things would. happen in my life. I know Cash was. looking at me like, "Well, you're kind. of getting what you're asking for." He's. like, "That's the you're dating that. person, the people I was dating at. different times." It's like, "Oh, well, yeah, you're dating that person." And. so, you can't really like you should. expect that to happen. Can you not see. their behavior? Like, he'd look at me.

and be like, "Yeah, obviously that. person's going to treat you like that. That's how she treats other people. You. don't think she's going to treat you any. different just because she says she. loves you?" Um, it's like if that's how. she's treating other people, she's going. to treat you the same way eventually. Um, and so I I think um when it comes to. dating, it's seeing how they treat other. people and their reputation. And when. you guard your heart in a way that is. not just for you to like walk around and. judge people, but guard your heart for a.

hey, is this person that I'm. potentially thinking about dating. somebody that is Christc centered that. when they think about how they're going. to handle a situation, they think, "How. can I handle this as a Christian? How. can I what is the best way to handle. this? And how is this going to affect. others?" and just somebody that really. puts their best foot forward, >> you know what I mean? And and is trying. to be Christlike in everything they do. >> That's the person you want to date. The. person that's trying to be a good.

husband before they are. The person. that's trying to not somebody that's. trying to be a good boyfriend, but. somebody that's trying to be a good. husband and preparing themsel uh to. >> later in life. >> Yeah. To be able to teach their kids the. Bible one day, maybe to to um how to uh. respect women, how to how to handle. certain situations. Um, just all sorts. women. >> Yeah, we know Cash is big. >> I got that one down. >> You missed the episode where he was. talking about respect, >> how much he respects women. >> I'm like a women activist.

>> Wait, one of the thumbnails should be. you in the face and be like, I hate. tampons and be like how I respect women. >> or no, I hate periods. I've seen those. videos. Those are funny. >> So funny. I think another thing that's. also like really important that I feel. like a lot I would say like the majority. of the people which. >> I am not the person to come to for. dating advice because I got extremely. extremely blessed at the age of. >> 15 to have started dating my future. husband and we get married 2 days after.

I turn 18. Like I know I'm living in. fairy tale land. >> I think you got blessed at 18, not 15. >> No, because we started dating when I was. 15. >> Yeah, I know. >> I'm kidding. No. Um, but I know that. this is like literally like a fictional. story I'm living in. Like that is the. average person does not have that. experience. So it's like what do you. even know about dating? But from my. perspective of watching everyone else. around me date, the one mistake that. every single person I I want to say. actually probably every person I know.

has made is when you are with a person. and the group of people around you is. telling you listen like that's not the. one. That is not the person you need to. be with. and they just choose not to. listen to that. They're like, "Yeah, I. understand where you're coming from, but. I'm still just going to do it because. like I like this person right now." Like. that just puts you in for just this long. emotional like rundown freaking. relationship where you're just like, you. could have gotten out of it way sooner. if you just listen to the people around. you. If you're surrounded by a good. group of people who have like good.

morals and values and they're telling. you that, like, you should take that. information to heart. And I feel like a. lot of people don't do that. And I think. that just you're not going to start. dating again. I don't think anytime. soon. >> But next time you do, like you should. really ask the people around you like. their opinion on that person. >> Exactly. >> Because. >> you just let me talk to him and then. I'll tell you. >> Yeah. >> And another thing is I would not put on. social media like how fast I did with me. and Benny cuz like I don't know what his. like intentions were, but I don't think. he was using me or anything but like he.

gained followers so easily. >> Well, and it's just a lot of explaining. I talked to Kate for years before we. ever went on social media. >> Yeah. And even after we started dating, I was like, I don't want to. >> And it's like anytime we'd hang out, let's make a TikTok. Let's make. >> There's nothing wrong with that. If. you're dating a social media influencer. person, I don't think there's anything. wrong with that. >> No. But I don't. >> There is something wrong with cheating. >> They think. >> I don't know. I I think Yeah. I think if. somebody just says they love Jesus, it's. not enough. Like you got to like see how. they walk. And then Yeah. I think if the.

people around you who aren't in the. relationship are all like seeing red. flags and you're just kind of like being. like no. >> no. >> Yeah. >> Like one of my every once in a while. somebody will ask me like um what do you. think? Do you think this person is like. should I keep dating this person? >> And usually I know I'm like the fifth or. sixth person they've asked and I'm like. oh well you already know. You already. know the answer. Yeah. And they're like. >> no no like genuinely like what do you. think? And I'm like. >> you already know. Yeah, >> you're looking to me to hopefully have.

someone validate. >> your feelings. >> Yeah, >> but that's not But you already know. Everyone's already told you. You're. looking for me to say, "Oh, yeah. I. think it's a good person." So, you can. have one person. >> that will to vouch. >> And if you have a person in your life. that is validating a relationship like. that, cut them off. >> I'd just question I'd look at the rest. of their life and question their life. decisions. And if they make other good. life decisions, then maybe it's okay. But if they're one of those people that. you're like, "Yeah, I would never listen.

to that person." And now you're. listening to them, it's probably not. good. >> Um, we kind of breezed over it earlier, but like you mentioned how it's like. difficult with all the time, >> filling the time, filling the gaps. I. think that is one of the. I hate to say best things after a. breakup because it's horrible. >> Yeah. But it is a way of self-reflecting. of going, "Man, all this time I've been saying like, I. don't have time to read the Bible or I. don't have time to do this." It's like,

"Well, now you got now you got time.". And filling that time with uh reading or. I know Cash hates it, but journaling um. or different things really does um. prepare you um as you look back at the. things that happened and you're like, "Oh, well, maybe there were some red. flags. maybe there was this um sign or. maybe there wasn't. But, you know, you. you journal, you get all that out and. you read scripture and you meditate on. scripture, you worship, and it's just.

that was one of the most beneficial. things for me was like focusing on like. anytime I feel like texting or calling. this person, just being like, I'm going. to open up God's word or I'm in a. worship right now and just really try to. get those thoughts of that person out of. my head because there's they're they're. there for a long time after you break. up. You know, it's like, man, you're. going to think about it for a while. >> Oh, yeah. >> And it's it's like you'll be fine one. day and then you'll look at something. and it reminds you of that person and.

you're like, well, yeah, that's the. restaurant we used to always eat at. Um, and it's like, well, you just drove past. it and now you're thinking about them. and you can get caught up in this like. back to the questions of was I enough? Was this per did he was I not pretty. enough? Was I not skinny enough? >> That's what I like every time cuz the. girl that he cheated on me with. >> No, they're just cheaters. >> No, the girl that he cheated on me with. was perfect. like perfect. I want you to. know this, Harper. There will always be. strong words for cheaters. >> There will always be someone prettier.

than you. >> Yeah. >> skinnier than you. No, I'm That's just. like he said your child. I'm saying. there will always be. >> The grass is always greener. >> He's like, "It's not that hard.". >> No, I'm I'm just saying that there will. always be somebody prettier than you, skinnier than you. And if you're ever. feeling like you're in that situation. where you're not pretty enough or this. that and the other, especially if you're. dating, that can be a scary place and it. might be good to leave because. >> that kind of person that's dating you. because you're pretty because you're.

skinny. >> will find someone will find someone. prettier eventually or doesn't matter. >> You know what they say? >> Skinnier. Well, >> they say this is this is a saying that. people say. They say cheaters. You know. what they say they do? Cheat. So. >> once a cheater, always a cheater. >> You know, there's all those things. >> And he he told me in his past. relationships that he did make mistakes. like that, too. And that's what I knew. I was like, >> see, um. >> I thought thought he. >> Yeah, I've been quiet for most of the. episode cuz I uh I don't like uh. cheaters. Um and I have strong I have.

strong words for them and I probably. shouldn't um have these emotions towards. them. Um but. I just I shouldn't say nothing. >> Say it. No, I just. >> No, he should keep his mouth shut now. If you cheat on a If you Well, I guess. in general, but if you cheat on a girl, it's just like. >> you. saying or the other way. >> I I feel like either way around, it's. just like. >> if you're cheating on a girl, if you're. cheating on a dude, it is horrible.

>> It's terrible. You It's like the worst. thing to do to somebody in a. relationship. >> Not to discredit you, Cash, but I don't. think necessarily once a cheater, always. a cheater. Because I think there's. >> No, I'm just saying currently. they are trash. >> Yes, currently they are trash. Yes, correct. But I think there is room for. grace and redemption in that. But I also. think don't be ignorant enough to fall. for someone who's in a pattern in their. life. If they've cheated last week, they're going to cheat this week. But if. they've had two years to like not date.

at all and they've really thought about. it and they put the work in, then maybe. a cheater is not a cheater anymore. >> Exactly. Yeah, but I I'm always here for. second chances, but like. >> No, >> but I think. >> don't be. >> That's the famous last words. >> No, I think there are second chances, but I think the second chance comes. after a lot of growth in a person. And. growth in a person like that cannot. happen in an hour. It can't happen in a. week. For some people, it doesn't happen. in even a year. So, I think you have to.

that's where your community comes in. You ask your people, you talk to their. people. Especially whenever I met Cash. and Kate, Kate did have some crazy. things to say about Mav, but overall she. said how great of a human being he was. and how great of a husband he would be. >> So therefore, I knew the people in his. life. >> Yeah. Well, yeah. It's different. I also. I was not just like dog and Mav. I. needed her to know like there are things. about like I would hate for you to get. in a relationship with Mav and then you. find these things out later. It's better. for you to know now. And it's like not.

anything crazy but like weird quirks and. stuff. The reason I like the reason I. dislike cheaters so much is every I've. known quite a few in my lifetime and. anytime I I've never been cheated on or. cheated or anything like that. Like Kate. said, me and her have been pretty l. lucky to have such a good relationship. like since we spawned. But. >> um every time I've seen a cheater or. known of cheater or and believe me, I've. known a lot of them. Some of them run in. blood. Some of them run in friendships. Some of them I just witness. But I've.

never seen one like actually stop. cheating. Not once in my life. Not. saying it's not possible. People change. all the time. They can. But that's why I. don't like them. I I have seen it. I. have seen it. So people do. >> cheat and then never cheat again. >> Who? Just I I I've seen I can't actually. say this person's name because they are. popular. So I can't say this. Really? Yeah. >> Not now. You're causing drama, Cash. So, I I can't see anyone on the podcast. >> Well, that's something we're going to.

have to talk about afterwards because. I'm very intrigued. But no, this wasn't. like full-on cheating. This was texting. someone they shouldn't have been. texting. Yeah. >> Kind of thing, right? >> And that's not cheating. >> Well, yeah. Just texting still like. cheating. >> That's a thing, too, is. >> I could just take cheaters and just. >> part of guarding your heart like Mav was. talking about is I'm not going to go. text another guy while I'm married to. Mav cuz that opens a door. you found. like attractive, right? >> Yes. Yeah. Or even. >> Yeah. If she's texting Alex about when's. the podcast going up, like.

>> Yeah, that's fine. But even if I'm just. texting Alex like all day every day, like I'm not. >> If she wasn't even Even Alex, even. though he's like our cousin, if she if. she was just texting him just for fun. outside of like work or like family. things, like if she was just texting. Alex, hey, what's up? You want to hang. out today? Be extremely weird. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. I don't know. I was just not. expecting it cuz like my past. relationship went on for four years and. like Yeah. It was on and off. So, like. we would have breaks, he would get with. other girls and all this, but like this. was like the first relationship where I. was like actually like, "Oh, like he's. he would never do that to me. I would.

know that he would never do that to me.". I was so positive cuz I would never do. that to him. I would never even think. about it. Cuz I remember. >> You would never cheat. >> I would never cheat. No. I joke for. people that don't know. >> I absolutely never even thought about. it. I had multiple chances where there. was very very fine guys that were like, "Yo, Harbor, add me on Snap. Add me on. Snap." I was like, "I have a boyfriend. I'm not going to do that to him.". >> Yeah. >> And Yeah. Yeah, >> it's just having like well. >> um it's just the good mind. >> No, it's just basic respect. >> There was two things that I kind of.

brought up most of this episode. It's. one the dealing with the questions. after. I think that aftermath of. cheating is so so difficult and so. tough. And then also is the dealing with. the aftermath um of time and who you are. and um kind of just like what you do in. your life. Uh because your life kind of. changes after a breakup. >> Um it changed when you started dating. and it changes when you break up. Um,

and so how have you been dealing with. those like life changes of the time and. the um like questions and think thoughts. that kind of rolled through your head of. the aftermath after you broke up? >> I'd say like like the thoughts and. questions. How do I. >> Yeah. Am I like am I enough? Did I do. something? Should I have done should I. have been a better girlfriend? Was I not. good enough? Whatever. for the next like. 3 days. I don't really have these.

thoughts much anymore. But I mean like. of course everybody has these thoughts, but like like when um when like he when. I found out he cheated on me, I remember. going to the room and um I remember. asking Jason, "Did he did he cheat on. me? Did he cheat on me? Please tell me. the truth. Please tell me." Like with. like tears running down my face like no. he didn't. And then like and then like. people would be like but she is bad. though or freak I almost said her name. Um uh just clip that just in case. I. don't want her to be slandered either.

>> Just bleep it. >> But um like they they're like but she is. kind of bad. Like all this like not. Danny J didn't say that but like other. people did say that. And so that's why I. was like well am I not good enough? Am I. not skinny enough? I'm not like. >> No, that is just the epitome of like a. 16-year-old boy just like trying to. troll you and like like for some reason. a lot which is not just boys, a lot of. people like especially teenagers have. like a really really bad concept of like. when it's okay to like make jokes and. stuff and it's like when somebody is in. like a really emotional and vulnerable.

state like you don't make those jokes. You don't say things like that. Yeah. and they don't get that. And so they. just. see he likes to act like he's a bad. husband, but he would never sit there. and be like, "The girl is pretty cute, Harper." Like, I don't know. >> Like just I told her, you know what I. think about cheaters? I think that. >> I think we should just be quiet. >> Most of the time I would say they're. sorry for how they feel now and what. they have ruined, not for what they did. Most of the time. >> That's a valid point. >> Yeah, I'd say that's valid. Most of the.

time they're mad and upset now for what. they have ruined, not for what they did, and they would still do it again. >> I know we talked about this off camera a. little bit, but like that question is a. tough question to answer after you've. been cheated on, especially it hurts. Like you feel it. And I know all of us. telling you like, "No, it has nothing to. do with how pretty you are," isn't going. to change the fact that you still feel. that sometimes. >> Yeah. Um, but and I know we talked about. this a little bit, but the.

truth of the answer to that question. isn't is she pretty or are you prettier. It's that you're all beautiful and. you're all made in the image of God and. that it is has nothing to do with are. her lips bigger than your lips and does. she have better eyebrows than you? >> Yeah, cuz I all day. We all know that. >> Okay. So, there's. >> has nothing to do with that. It does. have to do with if you are smart because. >> what are you saying? You're going off. track. >> No, it's not. It's actually dead on the.

track. It's not even slightly derailed. >> If you are, if you're smart, >> you know when you're dating someone, okay, this person ain't it. And you also. know when you're dating someone, okay, this person is it. Just like. >> you do. No, you don't. You just She. asked us a bunch of questions way before. this happened and was like, is this us? Is this weird? Is this sus? Is this. weird? And I was like, yeah. >> But if you're guarding your heart, well, then you can answer those questions and. you can step back and say, hey, I think. we should take some time.

>> That's what I'm saying. Be smart. guarding your heart. Whatever phrase you. want to use. >> When you let yourself fall and you. become uh attached to that person. emotionally and you, for lack of better. words, wear like love goggles, you look. past those flaws. >> That's what I'm saying. Being smart. If. you can uh look at it, >> which is a gift. God gave us that as a. gift. Like when you and Kate have. issues, now that you've opened up your. heart to Kate, now if you guys have. issues, you can look past those flaws, >> right? But that's what I'm saying. >> Which is great. You got to be smart. though for dating. >> Yeah. When you're dating, if you think.

something's sus, if you can look at if. surely you know one couple, married. couple in your life that is a good. example. Hopefully, they've been married. for like 30 years or something. If not, even if you know at least a good couple, maybe like me and Kate, um you could be. like, "Okay, would it be weird?" Say, uh. just say Harper, say her boyfriend is. going out to um his a girl's house and. sleeping over there. And if Harper's. like, "Uh, is this weird? >> That never happened.". >> Well, I'm not saying it did or didn't.

I'm just saying if that happened, right? And then all you got to ask yourself is. if Cash went and slept over at a girl's. house, would that be weird? Do you think. that'd be weird between me and Kate? >> Someone would be getting No. If I went. to step over at Harper's sister's house, Ree, everyone would be like, "What the. freak is happening?" So, all you got to. do is be like, "Okay, well, if this. couple did that, wouldn't it be weird?". Yeah. Most of the time it's like, "Yeah, that would be extremely weird." So, then. it's it's weird there. Uh, actually, no, she's not anymore,

actually. That's so weird. >> All of cash is would be in the front. yard. >> That's what I'm saying. Like, so if if. it's weird for a couple that you. actually know is a good couple, then. it's weird. >> Yeah, it's being smart for the most. part. Yeah, I'd say so. I like if a. dating guy is doing something that a. married guy wouldn't do, then it's. probably like, oh, >> yeah, >> the guy probably shouldn't do that when. he's dating. Like, >> there's married couples that do this. weird stuff, too. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. But. >> yeah, I think that's the answer to that.

question anyways is. >> it has nothing to do with the value that. another guy puts on you because he does. not determine your value and your worth. Like not any of the dudes you're dating. are going to determine your worth and. how valuable you are and how pretty you. are. They don't determine that. >> And no, guys and girls cannot be just. friends. >> Yeah, but what do me friends again? >> Huh? >> Would me and Benny become friends again? No, I would just say you're not just. friends. >> There's a difference. I think there's a.

difference. >> I think you can text Benny, "Congratulations if you know he wins $20. million and you can try to slide back. into his life." No, I'm kidding. I'm. kidding. I'm kidding. >> For a second. I was like, "Hold on.". >> I was like, "No, that's being smart.". >> No, no, but like you you can obviously. like, you know, if he graduates, you can. reach out and say, "Congratulations.". Right. >> Still No, I'm saying But like you don't. have to That's being dumb. I probably. wouldn't, but I'm just saying like you. don't have to. I would put up a wall. personally. >> I think there's a difference between. being friendly and being friends.

>> There's a trend called what is it? It's. called. >> Cash does not like Vinnie. >> No, I'm just saying I don't like uh lots. of people. No, what is the trend called. when you um like block them on. everything? >> No contact trend. I think I think no. contact. >> Be careful what you going to say here. cuz I was down on the hill. That's a. great trend. >> That's what I'm saying. I think no. contact trend is actually a good trend. Not a lot of There's not a lot of dating. trends that I think are good, but that. is one of them. I think if if you are at. the point where you. >> the easiest way for somebody to move on,

>> I think Yeah. Well, move on and get your. head clear to where if you do want to. come back later, you guys can come back, but you need that no contact humor to be. able to clear your head. >> almost. >> And listen, I don't this like if Benny's. watching this, I don't like hate Vinnie, okay? I'm not saying that. But I am. saying you think he's cute. >> That's what you said. >> I did. Um, no. I'm saying, "Hey, am I am. I mad at him?" Yeah, I am. It seems like. I'm the only one in this room that am. is. >> Oh, no.

>> But I'm not. >> If Benny texted me and actually wanted. to talk to me just like guy to guy about. relationship stuff or how to become a. better man, I would talk to him about. it. But if he texted me, >> But you also wouldn't tell Harper that. you talked to him. >> No. And even if he text himself, I. probably still wouldn't tell him to get. back with Harper. Um, if he wanted to. talk to me on like a one-on-one thing. like that, I would of course talk to him. and try to help him. But even now, if he. messages me about anything, I'll still. be nice to Benny. But, um,

>> what he did was freaked out. >> from your aspect. Yeah. I would tell you. to never get back with him ever again. >> Yeah. It's different cuz you have. feelings involved. Yeah. Like I have no. >> um animosity towards Benny. I I I feel. like. >> I just have a little bit. I have just a. little. If he would text me and be like, "Man, I'm sorry." Then I'd be like, "Okay." No, I feel horrible for how he. treated you. Like that makes me feel. sad. >> You didn't deserve that. >> Um, >> but like I said, everyone makes mistakes. and I'm not going to hold that against. Benny as I know he is just as valuable.

and he is has the same amount of worth. as you. >> Exactly. >> Uh, even though he made a mistake. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Um, so that was the one question you. answered, but you didn't answer the. time. >> What time? >> Like how are you spending your time. since you guys have separated? where. used to you would FaceTime each other. and do all that. How are you feeling. that time so you're not sad just sitting. there moping like, "Oh man, we used to. FaceTime right now.". >> I should call him. >> Well, you know what's funny? So instead. of calling him, I So I have this little. thing that Madd Max gave me in my car.

It's been in there. No, no, I'm serious. It's a It's a It's a prayer angel and I. have in my car. So anytime I feel like. stressed out, I hold the angel and I. pray and I talk to God in the car and. then when I'm done, I just set it back. in my thing. It's this little silver. coin looking thing with an angel on it. And I seriously feel myself talking to. God every time I pray and it might I. don't know it. I really do. But anyways, that's awesome kind of where I spend my. time. And I also get like I have the. prayer app and I get reminders every. time I need to pray and stuff like that. >> And sometimes it's in like the hardest.

points of my day, too. So, it's like. perfect. So, >> it just randomly pops up. >> It does. Yeah. It's like a random like. little notification. Take time to pray. today or something like that. So, >> yeah. I built you a cactus. >> Thanks. >> Okay. >> That might be worse than cheating. >> Destroyed it. >> Yeah. >> Did that answer your question, M? I. mean, yeah, for the most part. Yeah. I. just I mean, me and her have already. talked about it a little bit, but yeah, I just wanted to. >> um. >> cleared up. >> Yeah. And let you talk to other people.

and let them know kind of how they can. walk through that. >> Um, which you did good. >> Nice. >> Good job. >> Thanks. >> I know this is tough to talk about. >> Yeah. No, I don't know why I cried. I. just I cry. I was sad. Yeah, I would. cry. >> I I was I'm not kidding when I was hold. saying I'm holding back tears. >> You were not. >> I seriously was. >> I was literally like trying not to cry. >> Go into it again. Go into it again. CP. >> No, I'm going to start crying. >> It sounds horrible and like I I care for. you so much and I don't want anyone to. ever make you feel like that and feel. like you're not worth it. And like I.

know some like not everyone here has. experienced that feeling of like. >> devastation. >> Yeah. Um, but I think everyone here can. imagine it if you have someone you care. about do something like that to you. And. it is. >> No, that's the thing. I can't imagine. it. >> That's what I'm saying. It's almost. unimaginable. It It's It's horrible. It's a. >> I would never imagine it. >> It's a pain beyond like anything you can. imagine. It's. >> Well, you don't even have to like the. three of us have not been cheated on, but we don't even have to have. experienced that to see how sad you are.

And it makes us feel sad for you because. we care so much about you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's like like at the few days. >> my stomach still feels sick from it. I'm. not even lying. Like I feel sick from. >> the few days and I feel like I feel like. >> I just feel angry. >> M is definitely like he's experienced. something similar before. So it's like. he literally knows like what you're. going through. It's like. >> I mean obviously us three have never. experienced that. But it's like even. just like the the day or two after you. guys broke up, it's like seeing you just. like cry like posting TikToks and stuff.

like that is heartbreaking to see when. it's somebody that you like. >> care about so much and it's like Kinsey. and I were just like what can we do to. like help and make it like make you stop. feeling like this and it's like I know. there's nothing Kinsey and I can do to. make you feel better, but it's just like. it's heartbreaking to see somebody that. you love so much like that upset. >> Yeah. No, for sure. For sure. Cuz I was. like dying on the inside. I was like not. okay cuz like I it was like the most. devastated I've been cuz when me and. Benny started dating. >> I before that I was going through a hard.

time too and I did not want to get out. of bed or do anything. And then when we. started dating that's when I actually. wanted to get out of bed do things have. like conversations travel and all this. and then that was like my spark like a. huge spark that I had in my life and. then it feels like it just was all. thrown away in like this span of. freaking two seconds. >> Yeah. But it's also like. >> I do think that it's it's good that like. you said before like before you guys. were dating it was like you were really. struggling and it was something that. like we all kind of saw too. And then I.

mean I I did see you like start to like. kind of like get your spark back and. stuff when you were together. >> Um and like you said like you when your. mom was like you can't go see Benny if. you don't start to help yourself with. your OCD and stuff. And it's like. >> just having that little bit of. encouragement like Kinsey said it's like. you started to do it for Benny so that. you could go see him. him. Exactly. >> But it's like you don't have to just. stop now because you're not with him. It's like you do it to take care of. yourself and you do it for yourself. because it's like. >> even though you got up every day and you. were able to like talk to Benny on the.

phone, in reality you are living your. life here in Texas like Yeah. without. him. It's like just removing that one. aspect of your life of like calling him. all the time. >> Exactly. >> It's like you don't have to just lose. your spark again because you guys broke. up. Like there's just there's so much. for you to live for and there's so many. people around you that just like care so. much about you. >> and it's it's I'm very glad that Benny. was in your life for the short period of. time that he was cuz I do feel like he. really helped you. But it's. >> I just I really hope that you just.

continue to like want to better yourself. even without him. >> Without him for sure and like do it for. yourself this time. >> Yeah. Thank y'all so much because like. because also y'all are like a big thing. in my life too and like getting advice. from y'all is a huge thing because like. I y'all are like adults in my life and I. don't want to get advice from my mom cuz. it's my mom obviously my dad. >> nobody want that. >> Yeah. Getting advice from. >> love you. >> people in my life people in my life. >> I'll say once you're like. >> 20 maybe 20 plus then then you can talk.

to your parents about it. I'll just be. real. Parents, if you're listening to. this, don't give your kid no advice if. they teenager. They ain't actually. They. going to do the opposite. >> Yeah. Yeah. No, but yeah, just having. like an older figure in my life to tell. me like the things is just 10 times. better than anything. So, >> and that's one thing. I mean, Kinsey and. I always try to just like speak truth to. you to help you understand. And. >> I if you ever want truth truth, all you. got to do is ask me. I'll be I'll be. real with you. If you date a new If you. even start dating a new guy, if you ask.

me, I'll tell you. But I've been told. not to tell people unless they want to. know. >> So, >> it's a good idea. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I should have you all along cuz. you probably knew the whole time. >> I did. I said uh I said, you know, I. don't think that's going to last. >> Yeah. >> I I did. >> I mean, you asked us some questions that. we were like, well, >> no. >> No. Just just by the questions you asked. and just the way things were, I actually. I looked at our friend Chase. I said I. gave it a month. You made it, too. Um, but if you ask me, I I will tell I.

genuinely will tell you. I promise you. >> Yeah. >> He won't say it as kindly as like me or. Kinsey will. >> Yeah, but he did like you need. >> and couch is right about 99% of the. time. >> I know. >> I am. I've never been wrong. I I've. actually. I actually even prophesied that uh that. >> Do not say prophesied. >> Well, okay, whatever. I was a genie in. the bottle. However you want to use me. Listen, I. >> I'll rub you the right way. Stop. >> I told Mav I I grabbed my phone and I. said, "Maverick's talking about a girl.".

I. >> It's right after Kinsey and Mav's first. date. >> He said, "No, before their first date.". It's before their first date. They. haven't even went on their first date. M. I said I picked up my phone. I said, "Matt's talking about a girl." Uh, mark. my words. They will be married by the. end of this year or early next year. They haven't even went on their first. date. I don't know the first thing about. this girl, but they will be married. >> Why did you say that? >> Because I could tell by the way he. talked about that. >> He was a psychopath. He had. >> I could tell by the Oh, I think we. played pickle ball one time, but I still. didn't even I didn't even like exchange. words with you on pickle ball.

>> I knew I We also knew that Maverick took. a break from like dating for a while and. Cash and I had talked about even before. I think he like we had met you or. anything. We said the next girl he dates. there is a very very very high chance. that it will be his wife because he is. dating correctly now. >> Yeah. And I just just saw Mav and the. way he talked about it and just. everything and I was like, "Uh, yeah, they'll get married." I picked up my. phone and I was I I got it right. I They. even got married around the same time I. said they get married. So, if you like.

your prophecy fulfilled, all you got to. do is come to me. But unfortunately, you. have to have a candidate. Without a. candidate, I can't do much. But if you have a candidate, I'll tell. you. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Just letting you know. >> Crazy. >> So, I know it's really I know you're. laughing about it. you're like blown. over, but it genuinely will save you a. lot of time, heartbreak, cries, tears, money, everything. >> Yeah. >> Well, I think one of the important. things is um is that you grow from this. and he grows from this. >> and uh that you both look to the future.

of uh maybe the future isn't you guys. together, but it's a future where you. guys are better. >> And it might be, >> it could be. You never know. Uh but I. know. >> it we probably will get back together. >> Are you guys already dating? No, no, I was she was rage baiting cash. >> Um, but I think it's Romans 8:28 says. that uh, >> thou shalt not get back together with. Benny. >> It says that God uh, uses uh, all things. for the good of those who love him. So,

>> um, >> things like this u, God can use for. good. And I think he already is in the. way that it sounds like you're you're. uh, probably praying more. >> rage baiting gas. >> Well, you're praying more. What would. have been your response if I went to you. and I was like uh when you first started. dating Benny like the week I was there. no flex when Benny asked Harpon to be uh. his girlfriend. What would have been. your response if I went up to you and I. was like this won't last for the last. two months. I. >> would have thought you were. >> I just stared at her when when he asked. her. I just looked at him and I was like. >> this ain't going to last.

>> I was just staring at them from across. the. >> I want you to mark my words. When Kate. told me that y'all were boyfriend and. girlfriend, I said I give it a month or. two it'll be over. It'll end tragically. and it's going to be bad. >> Oh, don't say that. Yeah, that's true. I. just. >> But it's true. It happened very badly. >> and it lasted about a month or two. But. I'm telling you what what would see like. would you have preferred me to say that. or like No, >> I wouldn't have you wouldn't have. listened though. >> But I did like the period of my time in. my life where I was blind. Not not good. not good enough to see him the bad.

things about him. >> No, it wasn't even at the time. It. wasn't even bad things about Benny. It. wasn't even like Benny. It was just the. way you were dating and the way he was. dating. Just the way it all came. together and just the the aspects you. guys were looking for in each other. Like you guys hadn't had hard. conversations about like what you each. each other believe in and of like this. would even make sense and like logically. y'all were just like you're cute. Let's. date. >> and that is bad. Well, they enjoyed each. other's company. It wasn't just you're. cute. They didn't. I know. But you know. what I'm saying? >> Have fun with somebody. But at the end. of the day, if you are dating somebody.

and it doesn't matter how much fun you. guys have together, if you guys don't. agree on like the core beliefs of your. life and like what you want your. relationship to like be built on and. those values just don't align, like it's. not going to work out. >> Exactly. >> But yeah, I mean I I know that I know. that it's difficult for both of you and. I feel like whether you want right now. you're feeling like, oh, I want to get. back together with him or I don't or. whatever. >> No. >> Yeah. Well, whether he's feeling like. that too, he might be thinking. >> seaside right now doing things with.

other girls. >> Oh, you don't know that. >> But well, whether he wants to or not or. whatever, I think that you both as. individuals have a lot to to work on. before you start getting into more. relationships. >> Um, >> or just getting back with each other. >> You keep saying that. >> Yeah. >> I'll give you the privacy if it happens. Don't you worry. >> I'll be honest. If you made me cry and. you did not actually and you actually. get back together and you don't learn. >> together.

I didn't cry. >> Oh, no. I had tears in my eyes. >> Oh, >> I looked over at you and you were like. you were like you were trying to think. of a Bible verse to tell me so I would. stop crying. >> I I had tears in my eyes. >> Yeah. I didn't see them. >> Well, I was I wasn't like Harper, look. >> He was like, "Look at me. I'm crying. now.". >> Um. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Well, >> I mean it is a sad story, but I mean. it's a good life lesson. >> Oh, maybe we could close out with a. song. >> A song? >> Yeah. >> I know.

>> A sad song. >> Okay. >> Sad song. >> We'll see you guys next week. >> Goodbye. >> Bye. >> I know. >> Okay. Cut it. >> A sad song. Clean it up.