What Are Your Dreams Telling You? ft. Dream Expert Lauri Loewenberg | Khloé In Wonder Land
Let's talk about the five things we all. dream about the most. These are five. stress [music] dreams that you should. never ignore. If you've ever dreamed. about your ex, or dreamed your partner. was cheating, or dreamed you had a baby, I will tell you what these all mean. You're welcome. How did you get into. dream analysis and psychology? >> Most of my life I've been able to. remember just about every single dream I. have every single [music] night. >> That's like unheard of. I can't tell you. the last time I remember a dream. >> They are your built-in brutally honest. best friend and who's going to tell you.
what you need to know whether you like. it or not. >> Do you lucid dream a lot? I do. And do. you like that? It's better than sex. Why. do we have nightmares? I know people. that climax in a sex dream. So, what is. that. department? I don't even [laughter] know. how to say it. >> You say you're more of a light sleeper. >> Oh, if a feather falls, I'm like So, I. created this portrait for you as a thank. you. It's here [music] somewhere. >> Oh. Oh my god, this is so much hotter. than I could ever be. >> [laughter].
>> I need these boobs. That is you. I wish you were me. True. He'll be so happy. Lory, thank you for being here on Chloe. in Wonderland. I'm so excited to sit and. talk with you. I'm excited to talk with. you, too. I found you on social media. and I just think you are so fascinating. and so interesting. But, I want to know. how did you get into dream analysis and. psychology? Well, I've always been a.
vivid dreamer and I have been able to. remember my dreams since I was 2 years. old. That is incredible to me. So, long. story short, I've always been into my. dreams. When I was little, I would draw. them. When I got a little older, I would. journal them. But, it wasn't until I was. 19 when my grandfather died. So, I had a. dream 2 weeks after his death that we. were walking arm in arm through this. museum and I knew he had died and I. asked him, "What is it like where you. are?".
And he said, "Well, I can't tell you. that. But what I can tell you is that. it's secure." Aw. And then he gave me a. hug, and as I watched him walk up the. stairs, I began to wake up, and I could. smell his Old Spice. I love that. >> And I could feel him, and I was like, "What just happened? What was that?" So, that's the dream that propelled me to. study dream psychology. >> Mhm. Cuz I wanted to know why do we do. it? What is the purpose? What does it. mean? And I was so impressed by how practical.
the dreaming mind actually is. As ethereal or otherworldly as it can. seem or bizarre, it's actually very, very practical, helpful, and powerful. And what do you mean by the the. practicality part? Like if I'm dreaming. that I am. surrounded by fairies or something more. whimsical. >> How is that considered practical? Well, very good question. >> [laughter]. >> Because dreams are mostly symbolic.
Okay. >> So, they seem random, bizarre, nonsense. >> Fantasy. >> Right. When actually they're not. The. thing about dreams that most people. don't understand is that dreaming is a. thinking process. Your dreams are your. thoughts. >> Mhm. They are a continuation of your. thought stream from the day. So, whatever you're saying to yourself. throughout the day, you're you're. driving around, you know, "Oh, Chloe. this." You're loading the dishwasher, "Oh, Chloe that." You're taking a. shower, you're talking to yourself. As.
you drift off, you're still talking to. yourself. That stream of consciousness. continues. But once you enter REM dream sleep, your. brain's working differently. The. biochemical processes are a little. different. So, you're still having that. conversation with yourself, but now, rather than thinking in words and. linearly, like you and I are right now, you're thinking in symbols, emotions, and metaphors. So, look at your dreams. as a very wise commentary on what.
happened today. Mhm. Look at your dreams. as helping you problem-solve. and reach your aspirations. You just. have to learn the language. I used to. dream. and if I. I think I had one dream that I remember. recently that was more of a nightmare. I. didn't wake up from it, but I when I did. wake up in the morning naturally, I was. like, "Oh, I didn't like that dream." I. can't tell you truly the last time I. remember a dream. I know that doesn't. mean I didn't dream. >> Right. >> And I've wondered, "Why don't I dream.
anymore?". And I used to journal a lot, not about. my dreams, but just journal in general. And. I've read that if I do have a dream, because you said you've been journaling. and drawing from a very young age about. your dreams, the more you do that, the. more your brain. starts to dream or you start to remember. them more. Here's what you do to start. remembering your dreams, cuz you are. dreaming every night. You're every 90. minutes we dream. Even if I don't. remember. Even if you're not remembering. it. Okay. And it's unfortunately.
something that is so powerful and. helpful to us, it's so slippery. Right. >> It's not fair. Right. But you are. dreaming every single night, whether you. remember it or not. And the way to. remember them is actually very, very. easy. All you have to do when you wake. up in the morning, don't move. Okay. Stay in the exact same. position you woke up in, because that's. the position your body was in when you. were dreaming. So, if you roll over, if. you move, look at your phone or. whatever, it's like unplugging yourself from the.
dream you were just in. Mhm. So, just. stay put, quiet your mind, and give. yourself 3 to 5 minutes of quiet, still. time to let the dream come back to you. Then write it down. Otherwise, it'll be. gone after breakfast. That's crazy. know. >> But the more you do that, do you think. it makes you dream more vividly or. remember your dreams more? You'll. remember them more. Okay. It It's like, you know, working out. Right. The more. you work the muscle, the stronger it. gets. Exact same thing with your dream.
muscle. The more you work it, the more. you pay attention to it, make it a part. of your life, make it a partner in your. life. Your subconscious is your partner. in life and can really make big changes. for you if you work with it. So, you. just incorporate it into your morning. and you'll start remembering them every. morning. I have also read that in. your dream, and I hope I'm saying this. right, like if you can find your hands, you can control your dream a little. more. >> Okay. Yeah. What is that?
>> So, lucid dreaming. Have you ever done. this where you're in a dream and you. know it's a dream? >> Yes. So, when my dad first passed away, I would get like recount I would My dad. died in his home. He had a hospice. And. I would go down his hallway, look to the. left, and he would be either in the. hospital bed or. which he wasn't, but he would be. standing in his closet. And I would be. freaking out in the dream cuz I didn't. want to see him like that. But in the.
dream or I could hear myself say, "Chloe, you're dreaming. It's okay. Just. wake up. You're going to be okay.". Interesting. >> would hear that, but I would never wake. up. Like I could not wake myself up. I've had night terrors as well, but it. was more me like I would be crying and I. could feel real tears Yeah. >> when I woke up. So, that's interesting. that you would try to wake up and you. couldn't. >> Mhm. Do you get lucid nowadays? No, I. don't really dream that I remember. I.
know I dream. >> to fix that. Okay. I would love to cuz I. miss dreaming. So, the lucid dreaming, back to that. You're asking me about the. hands. >> Yes. Okay. So, that is That's a little. technique that um you can do when you. become lucid and you want to stay in the. dream. >> Mhm. And you find a focal point like. your hands or a plant in the corner or. something to focus on and it kind of. anchors. your mind in that in-between state. And. because when you're lucid, you're awake. and you're asleep at the same time. >> It's crazy.
>> It's crazy. >> Yeah. Do you lucid dream a lot? >> About once a month I can become lucid. >> like that? I love it. >> Okay. It's better than sex. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Why do you like it so much? Because you. can do anything. Isn't that crazy? >> do anything. I like to explore my. dreamscape. Sometimes I'll walk through. walls. Um I go-to to make sure I'm dreaming. Right. >> is I'll jump up and see if I can float. Okay. >> I'm floating, I know I'm dreaming. But.
what I always tell my clients is when. you find yourself in a lucid dream, even. if it's scary, don't get out of it. The. best thing you can do is ask questions. Like what? >> Like what is the meaning of life? Okay. What do I need to know right now for my. life? What do I do about my. mother-in-law? >> [laughter]. >> You can ask anything. And your dreams. will answer you. I was going to say, do. you get direct answers or is that when. you get. more the symbolism type of things? >> Both. Okay. It depends. Sometimes you'll.
get a direct answer. I've had one where. there was no one else in the dream. I. just asked the dream, "What do I need to. know right now?" And dream said, "Everything's going to be okay." Aw. This is after I'd had a series of. miscarriages and you know, you're just. >> Sorry. nothing matters anymore. And that. dream like I woke up from it and I was. like, it's going to be okay. Aw. I don't know. if you get premonitions through your. dreams, but are you ever able to say to. someone else if that's a premonition? No. I I do have I had a precognitive.
dream just the other night. I have to. tell you about cuz you're somehow. involved. >> [laughter]. >> I love that. Oh my gosh. But yeah, so. precognitive dreaming is so crazy and it. it it does happen. Where you have a. dream and then a few days later it comes. true. Right. Have you had that happen? I. have, but I didn't know. Like I when it. came true, I was like, that's what that. dream meant. I remember vividly, this. was right before all of Hurricane.
Katrina. Yeah. And I had a dream that a. town was demolished by water and it was. so vivid and I it was like everything. was destroyed and I was so scared when I. woke up. I was like, what? It was so. real, but it didn't say it was in New. Orleans, it didn't say hurricane. It. wasn't that spelled out, but I've never. had a dream like that before. But I saw. homes underwater, I saw people standing. on their roofs. It was so strange to me, but I remembered it and I even talked.
about it for a few days. >> Oh, before it actually happened. That's. great. >> When it happened, I was like, wait, I think that was my dream. >> Yeah. Yeah, you had the moment like, wait, I dreamed this. >> Right. >> Yes, okay. >> the time I just thought it was a very. strange, powerful dream. >> Right. Oh, but it was not. I know it was. not. [laughter]. So yeah, we can get precognitive dreams. about. big worldly events that kind of send out. a ripple into time space.
And we can also get them when it's an. emotionally charged situation that just. involves ourselves. >> Mhm. And so I've had probably my whole. life maybe three. Mhm. And I had one the. other day and I. I emailed your producer and said, oh my. god, Jen, this is insane. We have to. talk about this. Tell me. >> Because I get asked about precognitive. dreaming all the time. >> Okay. And I do think it happens more. than we know. Mhm. Mostly because we. don't tend to remember our dreams and. then we get the deja vu. Yes. >> Which I think is connected to a dream we.
had, we just don't remember it. >> Oh, that makes sense. >> Some people can make the connection. Okay. So, the dream I had. So, I created. this mermaid portrait for you. And I. shipped it out, and then I had a dream, and this was on the night of February. 25th, Okay. >> that I was holding a mermaid portrait I. had drawn, and I accidentally ripped it. just above the head of the mermaid. Like. right here. And I was like, "Shoot." And. I'm walking around, and I find the. framer. I went to the convention,
and I said, "Can you fix this?". And then I woke up. And I didn't think. anything of it. I thought I had to do. I'm trying to figure out how to. you know, do my hair in a new way or. whatever. And then, on March 2nd, I got an email. from the framer saying, "We're so sorry. Your mermaid portrait was damaged in. transit." And they took a picture, and it was damaged right here, exactly. where I dreamed it. >> No. And I it didn't even hit me yet, and. I was typing, I'm like, "Well, shoot. Is. there a way to fix it? Can you fix it?".
And I was like, "Wait a minute. You had. that dream. >> this, and I pulled out my phone, because. I have a I have a dream interpretation. app I just built. Ooh, cool. >> And so, I've been It's called Dream Chat. with Lori. And so, I was looking up the. dream, and I was like, "Oh, yes. This. was February 25th. I said in the dream. to the framer, 'Can you fix it?'" No. way. Yes. Either way, I love it. That's. so cool. Yeah. It's so So, then I I. I started like seriously looking into. why does this happen?
And how? >> Mhm. Have you heard of the. block universe theory? No. It's also. called eternalism. No. Okay. So, I will. do my best to articulate it. We really. need Neil deGrasse Tyson here. >> Okay. >> [laughter]. >> But I'll do my best. It is It's an. Einstein theory. that everything, past, present, future, already exists all at once. right now. But we're only able to. perceive it. one frame at a time.
The best way to explain it is that look. at your life as a movie film. Every. frame from birth to death exists on this. Okay. film, but your brain is the. projector. And it is only equipped to. show you one frame at a time. Right. >> Because the part of the brain in the. prefrontal cortex that controls linear. thought. is dormant or mostly dialed down when. we're in REM dream sleep. I had a lot of. people after 9/11 tell me they dreamed.
about it beforehand. Ugh. That's crazy. >> Yeah. I remember my ex-husband had a. major overdose where he. basically died and then came back to. life. And the night before. I and we weren't talking at the time, we. were going through a divorce. And I had. a dream the night before and it was that. I went to his funeral and I was at his. funeral and I was crying and I was like, you know, I just need to call him. I was.
driving to a photo shoot, I remember. I. was going down Benedict Canyon and this. is in real life. And then I called, he. didn't answer and I was like, whatever. We weren't really talking, so I was. like, he's just not answering me, but I. remember calling my mom just to tell her. about my dream, which I don't do. But, I. just needed to like get it out. >> Yeah. And then I did my photo shoot. At. the end of my shoot, my sister called me. and was like, Lamar overdosed. They and. they. told me the hospital said at one point. he passed away. And I was like, my.
dream! And it was like, Oh, in real life. they told you he passed away? >> Mhm. Oh my god. And um they told me he. passed away and then I get to the. hospital, they're like, "Oh, he's still. alive.". >> Just kidding. >> Yeah, I'm like, >> [laughter]. >> "Okay." That was a doozy of emotions. >> really interesting. I bet. >> had something. And of course I when I found out about. him, I didn't remember my dream. My mom. was the one that said cuz I was so. emotional and not thinking. And my mom.
was like, "You called me this morning.". Like she brought it up and I was like, "You're right." And I. And then I think that's why I was so. upset because I was like I just I just. thought he was gone as anyone would if. they tell you that. But that would be. the strongest dream that's actually come. true. I mean the Hurricane Katrina I. didn't know or didn't have a personal. connection there and I just I've never. understood why I had that dream.
And I had one other dream that was. probably the most vivid dream of my life. that like I'll never ever forget. It was. not even the dream itself. It's how the. dream made me feel. Mhm. Like it was the. most peaceful, beautiful. I swear I. think I saw either God or heaven. >> Right. >> was the most beautiful, majestic, gorgeous, glowing white place I've ever. seen in my life. Like I will never. forget it. I was in Turkey in another. country. It was just like the most.
intense feeling and waking up. I've. never had a feeling like that ever and. it that's the only dream I've ever had. like that. It was a white horse and. there was a gentleman I know for sure on. the horse, but they were glowing. I. couldn't make out their face, but we had. some dialogue that I can't remember. It. was the feeling. And it was the most. beautiful, happy, joyous. I woke up like. crying tears of joy. It was like the. most beautiful thing and I've never. forgotten that feeling. I bet it was.
your father. >> Probably. >> I bet that was a contact dream. Cuz I. believe those happen because, you know, that's what propelled my whole career. So the way that happens, cuz you know, I. always like to understand the mechanics. of things, you know. So like when I was. talking about the precognitive dreaming. and how we're able to do that. theoretically because the prefrontal. cortex that controls linear thought is. dialed down. So, our consciousness is. able to go outbound. Now, with.
contact dreams like that, it's the opposite. We're receiving. rather than going outbound. And here's how I believe that works. So, the brain's always working in waves. Right. Everything that exists. is in waves. Light waves, sound waves, microwaves. So, [laughter]. when we enter REM dream sleep, our brain waves slow down to what is the. perfect frequency.
where we're able to tune in or receive, you know, like a radio, the other. consciousness that's out there. And so, I believe that's how we're able. to receive messages, communication from. those that have passed on. I I think. it's so beautiful when you get those. experiences. Teresa may have even said. this. I have a medium friend and she. said that the other side is what is. reality. It's And this is more like the. dream. And the other side is what is. reality.
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day. And for me, that little moment of self-expression is. my Starbucks order. It's such a simple. thing, but I love that I can walk in and. make my drink feel like mine every. single time. If you know me, you know I. am obsessed with an extra hot venti chai. latte, whole milk, seven pumps chai, seven pumps classic, no water. It's. cozy, it's bold, it's exactly what I.
want. But honestly, what I love about. Starbucks right now is that they. refreshed their chai, so you can. actually customize the sweetness level. And you guys know I love options. I am a. loyal to my go-to order, like truly. loyal, but now I can switch things up. depending on my mood. Some days I'm. sticking with my classic. Other days I'm. like, "Okay, I want to be a little. spicy, a little less sweet, maybe add a. seasonal twist." I love that my drink.
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always say put a cup of water. by your bed. Oh, that's I can't. remember, but like not like a one with. an not with a closed lid. Like it has to. be like an open cup of water. And I. can't remember why they used to say. that, but it it used to encourage the. dreams to come. Oh, kind of like the. dream catcher. Maybe. Yeah. Oh my gosh, amazing. That's very interesting. I did. have a question about sex dreams. >> Okay. What are sex dreams? And cuz I've.
I know people that climax or can do all. of that in a sex dream. So what is that. department? >> Okay. [laughter]. I don't even know how to say it. Okay, so sex dreams are. they're very very interesting. Now, as. as women, we tend to get them the most. mid-cycle. Okay. Because that's when we're ovulating. Mhm. And you know, that's what our. bodies are meant to do. And so you're. you're going to be more heightened at. that time. And so you're more likely to. get the sex dream. Also, after early 20s, women will orgasm in.
their dreams. far more than men. Men almost never do. after early 20s. Mhm. And why is that? >> I think that's connected to, you know, your sexual peak. We peak way later in life than they do. >> Mhm. So, the meaning behind sex dreams. It's rarely about a physical union you. want, but more about a psychological union you. need. Okay. So, if you get one of those. dreams about someone you would never. touch with a 10-ft pole,
>> Mhm. don't run into the shower. It's. okay. >> [laughter]. >> It just means that there's something. about that person. that you want to take on as your own. Maybe there's something about their. personality, something about their life, or maybe you even had a conversation. with them where you connected in some. way. So, sex dreams are about connection. Maybe you've connected intellectually or. emotionally with them, or maybe there's something about them. you want to connect into yourself. That.
makes sense. So, if you're it doesn't. mean it's about Okay, that makes. >> it can. If I mean if you know that you. are really into this person and then you. have that dream, you're just safely. exploring. >> Right. >> the possibilities. And the reason why we. orgasm actually. um is because the body does not know the. difference between a dream event and a. waking event. But doesn't mean you're. like touching yourself. No. Right. It. just happens. >> you you will as a woman you are far more. likely to complete the dream actually in.
real life. That's so interesting. >> And men rarely do and thankfully because. it's way more messy. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> I do feel like sex dreams are really. taboo and people don't talk about them. Right. But they're they're they're good. for you psychologically because they're. letting you know something you need to. incorporate into your behavior or into. your mindset or even into your life. >> Mhm. So, what I tell people when they.
get that sort of dream, what's the first. thing that comes to mind when you think. of that person? Now, is that something. that would be beneficial to you if you. incorporated it into yourself? >> Mhm. Because, you know, the act of sex. is the merger of two separate entities. becoming one. So, the dreamy mind will. use that. So, it's not about the. physical merger but the psychological. merger. There's certain things like. people will say if your teeth are. falling out, that can mean something. There's certain let's say top five. visuals that people get that.
I hear mean X, Y, and Z. So, what we're. talking about are archetypes, which are. symbols or themes in a dream that most. of us tend to get and will mean mostly. the same thing. Now, of course dreams. are. very personal to the. dreamer. And you know, your own personal. experiences will shape what each symbol. means for you, but archetypically. generally speaking. um like you mentioned the teeth falling. out. Have you had that? I feel like I.
have, but years ago. Okay. So, that. dream is so common because it's. connected to a common behavior pattern. of speaking without thinking about it. first. >> Oh, totally then. >> [laughter]. >> People who don't have a filter tend to. get it. Yes. Or people in the radio. industry get it cuz they speak for a. living. >> Mhm. So, anything having to do with the. mouth in a dream, your teeth, your lips, your tongue, the throat area, will. usually be connected to communication. So, if your teeth are falling out, it's.
usually because you've allowed something. out of your mouth that should have. stayed in there permanently like your. teeth. >> Got it. Tornadoes are really common. >> No, I've never dreamt of that. You're a. hurricane dreamer. Yeah, apparently, yeah. >> [laughter]. >> What's a tornado? >> tornadoes are really common in dreams. because any kind of weather in a dream. is usually going to represent your. emotions because your emotions are the. weather of the mind. Right. So, tornadoes are the most common because. they represent worry and anxiety that's. beginning to spin out of control. So,
there's a lot of people who that's like. their recurring dream. And they're usually proud card-carrying. members of the worrywart club. >> Mhm. So, the tornado is the way your. subconscious is trying to show you what. this worry and anxiety what a. destructive force it is to your psyche. You're worrying about something that's. probably beyond your control. Yeah. Just. as a tornado is beyond anyone's control. Another common one is oh, dreaming your. partner's cheating. Mhm. This one I get. asked about probably that and the ex.
That's an interesting one. What I. get asked about probably more than. anything. So, obviously if there is some sort of. infidelity in your past and you're. dreaming this, that's a clear sign that. you've not healed. Right. >> Even if you're in a a relationship, that. cuz it's trauma. It is. >> It's trauma to the psyche and it's it's. hard to ever trust again. So, if you're still getting the dream, it's letting you know you've got more. healing to do. And how do you know it's. not a premonition? Okay, first of all, you want to ask yourself.
is there other than the dream. are there any other red flags? Mhm. You. know, is there anything else that just. seems off? Anything else he or she has said or done. that just. you know, makes you give the side eye. Then it could be your intuition. Now, if. it seems to be coming completely out of. left field and and you know, you know. that's not happening, but you're getting. this dream. it's because there is a third wheel in. the relationship, but it's not. necessarily another person. It's more. likely another thing. Like their phone.
Mhm. Or a side hustle or the hot rod in. the garage. Right. Or they're working. too much. It could be a new baby, even a. new pet. Mhm. It's something that's. causing you to feel like you're not. getting the attention and the time you. feel you deserve or that you used to. get. And so, these dreams are good for. you as all dreams are because they're. shining a light on something your. subconscious wants you to fix. Okay. And. what about dreaming of an ex? Okay, dreaming of the ex. >> Even in like a romantic way. Like I've had dreams of exes, but it's.
me. like transported back. It wouldn't be. like the current me. So, it's almost. like a memory. >> Oh, okay. So, you're not you now, you're. way back. >> Yes. Okay. And how how do those dreams. play out? You're like getting them back. with this person? >> No, it was just like we were. like we're still in that time frame. Like let's say 2015 or whatever. It. would be. it would be the same. place, time, our relationship if we were. together at that year.
I've dreamed that was almost like a. memory and I'm like, wait, did I dream. or was I just reliving something that. already happened? >> Yeah, did you time travel? I probably. [laughter]. did. Okay, so when we dream of an ex in that. capacity and and you're like I'm back. together with them, there's likely it's. one of two main things. There could be. something going on now. that feels similar to back then. Mhm. So, then you want to ask yourself, is. this a good thing? Right. Am I repeating.
a behavior that my subconscious is. warning me about? Or is it, oh, okay, I like this I liked. this about that person and I I like it. this about this same person. Another reason we'll get the ex is. okay, abusive exes. I have a lot of. clients ask me about, you know, I've. I've moved on. I, you know, I got out of it. I'm good. But I keep dreaming I'm getting back. with them. Mhm. Why?
So, the reason why that happens is. because it's actually a sign of healing. Oh, good. >> Your subconscious is showing you that. you're making peace. with that part of your life. Because we. tend to blame ourselves when we go. through something terrible like that. Why didn't I get out? Why did I let it. go on so long? Why did I let my kids. witness it? But the subconscious is saying, oh, look. where you are now. Make peace with it. It's helped you become who you are. I. have heard that any face you see in a.
dream is someone that you've you have to. know. You can't create Right. >> faces. Is that I disagree with that. I I. I disagree with that, too. >> Yeah. I mean, how how could you possibly. track that? Right. Cuz whenever I read. about that, I'm like, well, how do you. know? >> Right. How how is that How did they. formulate that? What data. >> [laughter]. >> did they use? >> they'll say, oh, well, it could have. been if I'm. walking through the mall and I see a. stranger, but my brain isn't capturing. that person's face for me to then dream.
about it later. I think what that that. does and I've, you know, I've. seen that before many times. I think that's reducing the power of our. own creativity. Can your dreams be. completely your imagination? Is it. something that I've had to see before or. can I create this whole world that I've. never. encountered? Well, I think you can. create it. Now, most dreams and like the. setting of our dreams are based on.
familiar things. Like maybe you're in. your kitchen and you walk out the door. and you're in your third grade class. You know, dreams will lump together. different sections of our life. But I do think that our dreams can. create new things. You know, and and we have so many things. in our world because someone dreamed it. because it didn't exist before. Right. Like the search engine Google is from a. dream Larry Page had.
>> No way. So he woke up from remembering a. dream about being able to download. everything at once. I I may not be getting this exactly. right. >> Yeah. But so he saw like all these links. to everything. And so he immediately. woke up and ran down to Starbucks or his. local coffee shop and he was like taking. notes on his napkins and then he called. his business partner and goes, "I've. I've got this idea. This is I think this. is something we can do. What do you. think?" That's crazy. >> And his business partner thought he was.
crazy, but they worked it out and And. they did it. >> are. So I always think like anything in. a movie, a mermaid, a fair like I am. such a believer of everything because I. feel like well, someone had to. see this somewhere and it could have. been a dream. It doesn't mean it was. actual something tangible in real life, but someone saw it somewhere. Someone's. brain was creative enough or in some. other reality they've seen this. >> Yes. What you're touching on is.
something called the collective. unconscious. Everything, all energy, all. um consciousness, everything is out. there. Everything that that has yet to happen, everything that has yet to be created, everything that has already been created. and how it became created. It's all out. there, the collective unconscious. And. when we dream and our brain waves are at. that perfect frequency, we're able to. tune in to different things. Thomas. Edison used to call it grabbing ideas.
from space. Mhm. Which is probably quite. literally. >> Yeah. what we can do when we're. dreaming. Do you. set your room, like saying that you have. to be at like the perfect vibration or. any of that? Do you set your room in a. certain temperature? Do you have like my. daughter and son sleep with a sound. machine? Yes. >> Do you like that or is that distracting. for your sleep? >> Mhm. and I have to have on my sound. machine. I also have You probably won't.
need it yet, but those sheets, the bed. jet sheets that they like they're air. conditioned sheets. >> Okay, love. Love that. >> have those going, too. So you have a. certain. like you have to set everything a. certain ambiance, the setting to sleep. >> Yes. And then when I travel, of course, I take my my my I have to take my pillow. with me and my sound machine. I always. was curious about the sound machine. because I didn't grow up with one and my. kids, like they need it to sleep and. then when I'm laying in bed putting them. to sleep, I follow asleep in 2 seconds.
I think it's amazing. But I'm I always. wonder if that is distracting me from. dreaming or is that affecting them. later? >> The white noise. >> Okay, yeah. Is that good? >> Yeah, white noise is good. >> Okay. Also rhythmic noises, like you. know, the sound of the dishwasher. Mhm. Okay. You know, those are good, too. Or. the sound of the ocean. Those are good. cuz they they kind of like. >> too. Yeah. go along with your brain wave. pattern. Okay, good. I was all I was. like, who can I ask about this? Is there.
anything about colors that symbolize. something significant in dreams? >> Yes, that's a good question. Colors are. very important to pay attention to in. dreams. In fact, everything is. There is. never ever anything in your dream that. is random. Okay. Ever. Everything, down. to what you're wearing, down to what. people say, down to what's like sitting on the table. in your dream. Everything is a piece of. the puzzle and was pieced together by. your wise dreaming mind to give you a. message you need to know right now about.
your life. Mhm. So, speaking of colors, when a color stands out in a dream, it. is for a reason. Now, there's the archetypical meaning of. colors, like blue can often represent. depression, the blues. White is often. the color of new beginnings, starting. over. Red can be um a red flag, you know, like. your subconscious going, "Warning, warning.". >> Yeah. But, it can also be passion, depending on the context, you know, of. the dream. Black often represents um. mystery, the unknown.
Green can represent envy. It can also. represent growth. Yellow can represent. fear, but it could also represent joy, you know, depending on the context. >> Mhm. But, the way to figure out the. personal meaning to you, if the. archetypical meaning doesn't fit what's. going on in your life right now, then. this is a question I ask my clients when. we get stuck. And this is a question to. always ask yourself when figuring out. your own dream. Where does your mind go. when you think of that color?
Kind of like the word association game. What comes to mind? >> that comes to mind? >> Yeah. What comes to mind? Is it a school. color? Was it the color of the your favorite. sweater. that you used to have? You know, where. does it go? And then. whatever. sticks out, that is going to be. connected to the message. >> Mhm. It So, maybe it say it was your. very, very favorite sweater that you. used to have and you always felt like. beautiful when you wore it. If that. color shows up in a dream, okay, what's. going on now where you need to feel that.
again? I am so curious about nightmares. Oh. >> Why do we have nightmares? >> Okay, so nightmares begin usually. somewhere between 2 and 4 years old. >> Yes. Are your kids having them? My. daughter was having them. Last night she. had one. >> Oh, no. But it wasn't bad. Like she came. to my room really calm and just said, "Mommy, I had a nightmare." I was like, "Come on, girl, get in bed." And she was. fine. She wanted to talk a little bit, but she doesn't like to talk about the. nightmare. Oh. >> Like she doesn't want to make it, I.
think, real. Okay. My daughter. definitely has a little bit of a gift. So, she I believe everything my kids. like if they're like, "There's someone. in my room." I'm like, "Let's go kick. its ass." Like I'm not one of those. people that's like, "Go to bed. I don't believe you." I believe. everything. I'm like, "Who's in there?". So, um she's dreamed about things and I. don't know if she's either been awake. and sees something or if she's really. dreaming it. >> Right. But True has she does have vivid.
dreams. But talking about nightmares, >> Yeah. she doesn't like to talk about. them. But she will say, "I had a. nightmare and it was. normally it's like a she has said in the. past like it's a shadowy man or. something like that. But she won't go. into a lot of details. [clears throat]. >> man. >> Yes. >> Okay. Well, that's very interesting. Okay, so nightmares, now they're they're. normal and they're actually healthy for. children. Mm. Unless they're, you know, becoming too much. If the nightmare here.
and there happens, it's normal, it's. healthy, and it indicates that the child. is beginning to process negativity. Okay. And they're learning how to deal. with it. And and usually something will. have triggered the nightmare like maybe. the goldfish died or, you know, maybe. someone at school was mean to them, or. they got in trouble. You know, something. will trigger it. And then as we get. older, we will still get them, and. they're caused by a couple of things.
They're caused by a difficult issue we. don't know how to work through. They can be caused, of course, by. something from the past that still. affects us today. They're usually caused by something. that's just very upsetting. So, when you get a nightmare, ask. yourself what is the most upsetting. thing going on in my life right now. That will be what caused it. If there's. nothing upsetting going on in your life. right now, then there's likely something. from the past that's still. causes you to behave a certain way. because that happened, and your. subconscious is trying to alert you to.
the fact that this this negative thing. is still affecting you. Let's work. through it. And so, when you are able to. pinpoint what caused the nightmare, and. then you begin actively working to. correct it, even just the first little. step towards fixing it, the nightmares will stop. Like when I. said I had a nightmare not too long ago, it was. about being stabbed, like someone was. stabbing me. Oh, wow. It was so dark and. horrible, and it's the one dream I.
remember in ages. And I remember waking. up and I said a prayer and I was cuz I. was like, I do not like this energy. What was that about? And it I also think. it had something to do with my kids, cuz. I remember praying about like just. like covering all of us. Let's unpack. that. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> You were being stabbed. Yeah. Okay, do. you recall who it was? >> No, and I don't think it was someone I. knew. >> Where in your body were you being. stabbed? Torso. The torso.
>> Mhm. Okay. As the stabbing is happening, >> a horrible [laughter]. dream. As you're being stabbed, do you. remember what you were thinking? No. I just remember. What I do remember is how much I didn't. like that I I knew I was dreaming. I. didn't like I was dreaming. And then I. was also and I can't remember if I had. this thought when I woke up or in my.
dream. And I remember saying either at one of. the times, "You don't remember a dream and this is. the dream we're remembering?". Yeah. Like I just remember that and I. was like, "Wake up. Like get out of. this." And I just kept remembering that. energy, but I don't remember Oh, you did. say to yourself, "Get out of this?". >> I I was just like, "What Okay. >> Yeah, like I don't like this. >> might that might actually help us. Now, when we're stabbed, most often it's. because we have been the victim of.
someone's cutting remarks. Oh, easy. Just kidding. >> [laughter]. >> Do you recall at that time anyone saying. anything hurtful or critical to you? I. don't remember specifically, but I'm I I. hear critical, hurtful things on like a. daily basis, but I can't remember. what I don't think there was one that. stuck out to me. Okay, and it was. stabbing, not slicing. Stabbing. >> Okay, cuz actually it makes a. difference. >> Wow. >> Yeah, every little detail. And it was a.
knife? Knife. And it was the torso. Okay, so that area is about reproduction. and about weight. Usually. Mhm. Anything. going on there that's been difficult? >> But could it be like chest I just. remember it was like this part of my. body, >> Okay. >> not just stomach. >> Okay, so you're getting stabbed up here, too? >> Yes. Okay. Oh my god, this is so morbid, you guys. I'm so sorry. >> but they don't always mean Right. >> that. >> Yes. >> Right. Just so everyone knows. >> Yeah, it's symbolic. Yes. The chest is.
um usually about it can be about your. emotions, as well as getting something. off your chest. >> Mhm. So, my first thought is maybe. something was going on that was. upsetting you. Someone perhaps had said. something that cut like a knife, so to. speak. >> Right. Okay. >> And the chest is being brought to. attention cuz you need to get this off. your chest. Also, you had the thought, I. need to get out of this. >> Yes. Any thought you have in a dream is. going to be the most important part of. the dream. Mhm. So, at that time, can.
you remember was there something going. on that you needed to get out of? No, like I never remember saying, "Ow." I. never remember feeling like this hurts. I just remember more this is. scary, it's not my thing. I don't want. to be here, but I don't remember feeling. pain. I don't remember seeing blood. >> to get out of here and I don't want to. be here. >> Right. >> Okay, so that those are actually really. important thoughts and they may get us. somewhere. Mhm. Okay, so I don't want to. be here could mean um I don't want to be.
here in this mindset. Mhm. So, at the. time maybe you were in a bad mindset or. it could be I don't want to be here in. this situation. Maybe at the time you. were in a difficult situation you wanted. out of. I need to use your app. And what. do you do on your app when if I have. this dream? I just can record Yeah, so. you you can. type it in or talk it in. It's called. Dream Chat with Lauri, l a u r i. Um. So, you type it in or you talk it in and. then it starts out It'll ask you. questions like I'm asking you right now.
Oh, interesting. >> first tell you, "Okay, well, here's a. couple ideas. And it still won't know. some of the answers. It will still. >> a conversation and so I've programmed it. to think like me. So, it will ask you. these sort of things. Okay, well, where. did your mind go when Right. >> you know. And also, the thing about this. app is that it has a day journal in it. So, before you go to bed, there's five. questions you fill out that are actually. the ingredients of your dreams. So, like. what upset you today? What kind of. significant conversation, email, or text.
did you have today? What were you. excited about today? What was positive. today? What was on your mind the most. today? So, you put that in at night, you. have your dream, you wake up in the. morning, you type your dream in, and then it pulls from that and makes. connections for you. It takes a snapshot. of your dream and puts you in it. Oh, wow. Cuz you upload a selfie. And so, it. always uses that selfie to put you in. the picture of your dream. >> a visual? Yes. Now, if you have a dream. and you don't want to see yourself. getting stabbed, you can turn off the.
art. >> Yeah. Okay. But, otherwise I'm. [laughter] like, wait. For that one, I. don't want to see that one. >> of fairies or whatever, then you'll get. a nice little image of it. What about sleep paralysis? I think I. told you I had night terrors. Yeah. >> But, I had sleep paralysis where I would. literally and if someone I would. literally like be crying or saying like, "I need to wake up. I need to wake up.". One time I my sister was sleeping with. me and I was talking and she's like, "You're fine. Wake up." And I could not.
wake up and I was like, "Wake me up. I. hate that. I hate that. >> They literally had to put a wet. washcloth on me to wake me up. I haven't. had those since I've been I think 19 cuz. my dad died at 19, but it was the most. horrific types of dreams and I never. ever ever wish a sleep paralysis on. anyone. >> terrible. Horrible. Okay, so here's the. thing about sleep paralysis. It is. harmless. Okay. They don't feel like it. >> No, they don't feel like it. So, here's.
what happens when you get sleep. paralysis. It's usually caused by a. fitful night of sleep, bad sleep, your. sleep routine is messed up. Now, when we. go to sleep and we enter. the dream phase, REM, the brain releases. a chemical that paralyzes your skeletal. muscles. It's a built-in safety. mechanism so you don't get up and act. out your dream. When we're having a fitful night of. sleep or we're just not sleeping good, we can start to wake up before our brain.
can catch up and reactivate our skeletal. muscles. >> crazy. So, we get stuck very briefly in. the in-between state. It's called. hypnagogia. That's crazy. You're You're. awake and you're asleep at the same. time, but you can't move because your. body's still paralyzed. Now, what's going on in the brain is the. amygdala, the fear center of the brain, is highly active during sleep paralysis. So, that's why it's always such a. frightening experience. >> Mhm. Now, it is also a hallucinatory.
experience. And you can. hear maybe whispers, or you will. perceive someone sitting on your chest, or on the bed, or maybe in the corner of. the room. >> Mhm. And that's not real. That's just. your brain doing that. And a lot back in the old days, they. called this the old hag syndrome, because they thought that that sinister. presence in the room was a witch. Mhm. Well, it's I've I know exactly what. you're talking about.
>> Yeah. And it definitely seems like some. dark Yes. People think that they're. being abducted by an alien, or that. they're they're being haunted, or. they're having a demonic possession. >> And you're not. You're just stuck. It's. a It's a But how do you talk yourself. through that? >> what what When you know what it is, usually once you understand what it is, and it happens, you're aware. Okay, I. know what this is. You can turn it into. a lucid dream. Ooh. And you can That would be way better. than the. >> Yes. You can will yourself to float out.
of your body, or just have fun with it. >> Can you explain? Cuz I think I think. that would help a lot of people. I think. if anyone's ever experienced a sleep. paralysis, it's. like terrifying. I hated. like I still remember that feeling. It. was horrible. I would have loved to have. had some tools. Even now, I'm like. praying I'm not talking about this and. then I'm going to have this. Like I'm. like, "Please, I'm going to say so many. prayers.". But what are a few things you can do to.
take control to get out of the sleep. paralysis? >> it Well, the best way to avoid it is to. always have the same. sleep routine. Okay. >> make sure you get enough good solid. sleep. Um but when it does happen, when you know what it is, odds are good. you're going to understand what's. happening as it's happening. And so, you. will know, "Okay, I know what this is, and I know it's not going to last long, and I'll be out of it in seconds." That. will calm you. And go ahead and try to turn it into a. lucid dream. And say, "Okay, I'm just. I'm going to float out of bed." That's.
the easiest thing to do cuz you're. already lying down. >> Mhm. Or you can ask questions. If that. sleep demon or whatever is is in your. sleep paralysis episode, ask a question. Pretend it's a lucid dream cuz it kind. of sort of is. And does everyone have. this much control in their dreams like. how you're like you can ask questions? To me, I'm thinking, "How do I know I can even talk in my. dream?" Right. Like like when you're in. the sleep paralysis.
>> Yes, like I feel like you are. you have so many dreams and you have. such control over your dreams. Me, I. feel like I haven't dreamt in forever. I. know I do dream, I just can't remember. my dreams. I don't know if my first thought would. be like, "Oh, I'm dreaming. I can talk. at this point." How do you strengthen I. whether be like the trust in yourself. during your dreams or how do you. strengthen that ability? Well, the. biggest element to this is just knowing. what it is. The thing that's so scary. about it is that when it happens, most.
people don't know what's happening. They. don't know what it is. But once you. understand what it is, you usually do. have enough consciousness to be able to. say, "Okay, this is sleep paralysis. It's not going to last. Let me see what I can do with it.". Sometimes that's all it takes is just. knowing. Yeah, I I never knew what it. was. when it was happening to me and it is. the weirdest sensation cuz you're almost. like how I felt. was as if I was like hovering above my. body and I could see me sleeping. So,
it's just you know, knowledge is power. >> few seconds. >> very long. It can seem like it, but it. really doesn't last long. Yeah, I feel. >> just your brain just has to kind of. catch up. It's like, "Oh, we're awake. I. need to get the body moving." Right. I've had this experience. I was much. younger, but I had a dream of someone. and I knew and I wasn't going to call. the person and tell them and then they. had a dream of me the same night. Oh. >> They called me to say, "I dreamt of you. last night." And I said, "I dreamt of.
you last night. It was like we met up in. our dreams. Is that a real thing?". >> Okay, so. there's a couple things. >> once to me, but. >> There's a couple things you might be. touching on. One is um called shared. dreaming. Where you and someone else have. the same or similar dream on the same. night. Mhm. And that usually happens to um people. that are very close, like best friends, sisters, mother-daughter, husband-wife,
boyfriend-girlfriend. People that are. very, very close. And you have the same or similar dream. because you're dealing with the same. issue in some way. Mhm. And your. subconscious responds in a similar way. cuz you're on the same wavelength. I. guess, yeah. Cuz you're so close and so. your subconscious responds in a very. similar way with similar themes and. symbols in the dream. Do you have any. advice you would give to people about. sleep or dreams or just. any tips even about.
how to get good dreams? So, start paying. attention to your dreams. because they are the most powerful part. of who you are. Mhm. They are your. built-in um GPS. Mhm. They are your. built-in Mel Robbins. Mhm. >> [gasps]. >> And they are your built-in best friend. Your built-in brutally honest best. friend who's going to tell you what you. need to know whether you like it or not. And they're helping you navigate life. And they're giving you great ideas. And.
they're helping you problem-solve. They're helping you become who you're. supposed to be. So, start paying. attention to them. Start journaling. them. Start talking about them. Start. listening to them. Start paying. attention to the patterns of your. dreams. Like, do you keep. dreaming you're attacked by a bear? Start keeping a day journal. My app will. do this for you, Dream Chat with Lori. Um, start keeping a day journal in. tandem with your dreams. Because then. you'll start to see, oh, every time I.
dream I'm attacked by a bear, I had a phone call with my mother. So, you'll start, you know, it helps you. get your life right. It helps you. recognize patterns. It helps you be a. very powerful force in your own life. Don't be afraid of the bad dreams. They're good for you. They're helping. you with a very difficult situation. That's why the dream is difficult, because there's something difficult you. need to work through. Teach your. children to talk about their dreams. >> Mhm. Even nightmares? Even the.
nightmares. >> Okay. Now, with children, what you can. do when they're having nightmares, try. to help them figure out what caused it. Okay. It'll be something from the day. before usually. What happened to you. that upset you yesterday? You know, what what was difficult. yesterday? And then they'll be able to. pinpoint it. And then you have something tangible in. real life you can help them with, but. also to help them not be afraid of the. dream. Um, this is a little trick. The. younger they are, like under four, Mhm.
um, you can say, okay, we're just going. to flip the pillow over cuz that's the. good dream side. Okay. Something that. simple is suggestive enough that that'll. stop the nightmare. But when they get a. little older, talking about the. nightmare with them. and guiding them through changing the. nightmare. So, you can have fun with it. You can. draw it out. Like if there was some kind. of weird monster in the dream, say, "Okay, draw it.". And then, you know, make it silly after. they've drawn it, you know, put a. big old bow on the horn or whatever, you.
know, make it silly. But but let them. control how they change it. Okay. You. can guide them, but you got to let them. have the control. Also, you can do it in. comic book form if they're older. But let them have the control in how. they decide to change it because they're. taking the scary out of it. And they're. learning, oh, I can have control. Ultimately, children get nightmares cuz. something's making them feel powerless. This gives them a sense of control and. power and I can change things for the. better. Do you think. it matters like when people watch a.
scary show before bed? Yeah, right? Cuz. I believe that. Yeah, you it it's best. You know, some people are desensitized. to it and they can watch Breaking Bad. and they're fine. >> [laughter]. >> But some people are more sensitive. So, if if you're more sensitive, don't do. that. You know, watch a chick flick. Right, [laughter] totally. Or read. something inspiring or just journal. before you go to bed so that you don't. You don't need to put fuel on the fire, so to speak. And for kids, the same.
thing. Like my daughter doesn't watch. anything scary. My son, we just read books before bed, but. sometimes I'm questioning. if she has a nightmare, was it something. that she was just watching before? But. >> be. It's not really scary, but it's I. I've normally left it alone when she. doesn't want to talk about it cuz I want. to respect that. But I've I always. think, let's talk about it cuz then. we're making it like not real and if. she's suppressing it, that makes me. nervous, but I'll encourage her.
to try to talk about it more. Yeah, see. if you can get her to do that and you. know, be creative with it, too. The. coloring thing is cute and she enjoys. that. Yeah. Very smart. What do you love. most about the work that you do? I love. seeing. people get their aha moments. When I help them make connections with. their dreams. Because it's first of all, it's. even for me when I make my own aha. moments, it's magical. It's like, oh, yes, you got my back.
subconscious. I really appreciate that. You're so good to me, you know. And when. I see people I'm working with go through. that, it's reinforces how powerful this. thing is within us. The dreaming mind is. so amazing. It's magical. It's so helpful. It's so. wise. And so when I see people, you. know, make big connections and then they have. something cuz it's not just oh, that's. what my dream means. It's like, oh, I.
have a takeaway. I understand this better now so I can. handle it better now or I understand it. better now so I know what to do now. It can be so life-changing and I love. seeing people get that aha moment. That's my favorite thing. Thank you so. much for coming and talking about all. things dreams. It was so interesting and. I'm so grateful. Thank you. >> Thank you.
